Mums At The Table - March 2019

THE BALANCE ISSUE REAL WOMEN | REAL CONVERSATIONS | REAL ISSUES

MARCH 2019

LETTING GO OF

MUM GUILT

TYPE 1 DIABETES AND YOUR CHILD

HOMEWORK VS

family time

Your magazine is complimentary and made possible by the generous support of your Mums At The Table community.

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REAL WOMEN | REAL CONVERSATIONS | REAL ISSUES

contents

Jo in us

MARCH 2019

just for you

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8 MOTHERS CAN DO NO RIGHT Entering the “judgeyland” of parenting.

14 WAITING FOR GOD

One woman’s struggle with her beliefs through infertility.

parenting

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18 NO HOMEWORK!

Why this mother decided to ban school assignments from her home.

32 BOOK CORNER 34 WHAT TO SAY TO HELP YOUR CHILD’S MENTAL HEALTH

food & wellbeing

6 LETTING GO OF MUM GUILT Why you are a good enough mother.

12 ASK THE EXPERTS 22 MANAGING YOUR CHILD’S DIABETES A diagnosis of type 1 diabetes

22 10

PANELLISTS Fiona, Rachel, Shona, Melody, Rachel and Maryellen discuss a range of topics including current events, issues and family life.

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can be frightening but the disease is manageable.

WELLBEING WITH COLLETT Screentime vs green time.

HEALTHY EATING FOR THE EXPECTING MUM A few simple tricks to ensure optimal nutrition for bub.

THE ART OF COOKING VEGETABLES With bonus recipe: Cauliflower and broccoli steaks.

COOKING WITH GIA & OLIVE Marinated tofu; chocolate nut butter; quinoa salsa salad; iced chocolate.

PLUS healthy recipes, exercise tips, DIY projects and awesome hacks for around the home.

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VOLUME 3 NUMBER 3 The Balance Issue

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e r ' u o Y

from the

March

I

editor

t may come as a surprise to you that Ecclesiastes is my favourite book in the Bible. Yes, the very same book written by a seemingly depressed and downtrodden King Solomon.

A book that explores the meaning of life, it can be difficult to go past the first verse, where he declares, “Meaningless!

Meaningless! . . . Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” Even the most upbeat of personality can feel weighed down by all the woes expressed by King Solomon in Ecclesiastes. So why is it my favourite book?

The reason lies a few chapters in, when he says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Taken on face value, it may not mean anything much and yet, when you take the time to pause and think, it is of profound reassurance.

Because there is a season for everything, it means any problem, any difficulty, any heartache we currently face will eventually pass. Much as leaves bud, grow, fall off and begin to flourish again depending on the season, our troubles will soon be over.

It means there is a fine balance in life and God is in charge.

It means all the sleepless nights, all the tantrums and all the pain and aches are equally balanced by the cuddles, smiles and overwhelming love we feel for our children.

It means parenting issues such as our children’s schooling, health and wellbeing, and even the type of advice we choose to heed, need to be balanced.

Motherhood is a delicate balance—and I am so glad for the partnership I have with God to do the best I can, and for the support I get from our Mums At The Table community, where we can learn how best to balance our family, life and health.

g m n i o r t hers! e w e mpo

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Thanks for your words of wisdom on the show.

Melody

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I run a community playgroup at my church. [Every week] we have around 15 mums (plus 1 dad) who come on a regular basis, plus more families who come less often. Our kids range from newborn to five years old. We currently have a subscription to the Mums At The Table magazine and I present the magazines every week on a prominent table. Every month, I read the magazine and give a debrief of what articles are in it at the start of our program to help encourage the mums. We also have a private Facebook page and I will start linking your online articles on that.

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Differences between guilt and shame

LETTING GO OF

SHAME

mum guilt

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•• Focus is on behaviour, not self •• Our actions are separate to our identity •• Works as a compass for how we should behave or what we’ve done wrong •• Helps us see from a different perspective •• Helps us modify our behaviour for next time •• Doesn’t blame

When we experience shame, we believe that: •• I am a bad mother •• I’m so stupid •• I’m too weak •• I’m fat and disgusting •• I’m a mistake •• I’m unworthy •• I can’t handle this •• I’m too angry

When we experience guilt, we believe that: •• I made a mistake •• I did something wrong •• I felt anger •• Although I’ve made a mistake, I have the ability to make amends and then adapt my behaviour to be who I want to be instead

SPEAK OUT

It’s important to share how you’re feeling to those you trust— not publicly on social media, especially if you’re still dealing with your shame. Don’t worry about being the perfect parent because there isn’t one. (Once you’ve moved through your shame, your story can also empower others.)

ANDREW RYBALKO—GETTY IMAGES

W

When our actions are not separate to our identity We believe we are our behaviour Most commonly shows up in a parent-child relationship Focus is on self Highly correlated to addiction, depression, suicide, eating disorder, aggression, bullying and suicide •• Linked to personal distress

How to practise vulnerability (AND OVERCOME SHAME)

By Megan Jaworski

e’ve all heard or experienced mum guilt before. It might be in relation to going back to work, giving kids takeaway or frozen food, or using the TV as a babysitter just to have some down time.

But what if what we’re actually experiencing is mum shame? What if we have feelings of unworthiness around being a parent?

Our lovability? Or our ability to handle any given situation?

Brené Brown, a leading researcher in shame and vulnerability, claims that the best way to move through our shame is by being vulnerable.

This can be increasingly difficult for mothers, especially given the pressures to be the perfect parent thanks to social media. The greater the comparisons we experience, the more guilt we will feel—and if these feelings are not monitored, they can lead to shame.

GUILT

•• •• •• •• ••

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE NATURALLY MORE GUILT-PRONE THAN SHAME-PRONE We are the product of the five closest people in our lives. Therefore, surround yourself with those who focus on modifying their behaviour, not on making their behaviour who they are or shaming others for their behaviour.

PRACTISE SELF-COMPASSION DAILY

LEARN FROM YOUR GUILT

Being vulnerable takes enormous courage. That’s why it’s so important to let go of the worry of what others think of you and demonstrate self-compassion. It might not come naturally at first, which is why it’s important to make it a daily practice. You can begin by starting with these mantras: I forgive myself I am compassionate to myself at all times I am worthy of love I learn from my experiences I let go of what doesn’t serve me I accept myself in this moment as I am

Use your guilt to feel compassion. Ask yourself, What can I learn from this?, How can I grow as a result of this? and Who do I need to be to get through this? And believe you have what it takes to move forward.

ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED You can’t get what you don’t ask for. Jesus Himself said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

It’s important to know what you want and need in order to be the best person you can be. Be clear with how others can support you. And establish well-defined boundaries around this.

If you or someone you know needs help, contact:

LIFELINE 13 11 14 AUSTRALIA

0800 54 33 54 NEW ZEALAND

Megan Jaworski is a mother of two toddler boys, a lover of ethical chocolate and fashion, a teacher and a mindset specialist coach at meganjaworski.com.

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Mothers CAN DO NO r ight

By Melody Tan

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K

az Cooke’s book, Up the Duff, was the only pregnancy-related guide I kept by my bedside while I was expecting. There was something about the book’s mixture of humour and solid medical information that I found appealing. As a former journalist, Kaz was obviously serious about her facts and yet, as a cartoonist, she could easily see and express the funny side of life—a crucial quality to possess when you’re constantly feeling sick, bloated and like your body no longer belongs to you.

This year marks the twentieth anniversary of Up the Duff, a book that now is touted as “Australia's top-selling, most respected preg-

FIZKES—GETTY IMAGES

Parenting: It’s all about getting advice but it’s also about trusting your instincts. How do you weigh up the pros and cons of both?

have been updated at least once a year since. When there were medical changes I made sure I put them in.”

I am on the phone with Kaz, talking to her about her latest book, Babies & Toddlers, officially called “The sequel to Up the Duff”, and which she informs me, replaces Kidwrangling.

nancy book”. It has been translated into Spanish, Italian, Latvian, Czech, Polish and Chinese, and there’s even an Up the Duff on the Go app. To date, I haven’t seen any foreign language copies of Up the Duff, but the English version is practically ubiquitous in the waiting room of any pregnancy-related medical practice in Australia, the bold brush strokes of Hermione the Modern Girl peering out at me from almost every bookcase I’ve studied.

In 2003 (and with other book projects in between), Kaz released Kidwrangling, essentially a sequel to Up the Duff. Testament to her commitment to factual accuracy, Kaz tells me “both those books

“Babies & Toddlers is much better and much more up-to-date,” she says. “I’ve had 16 years to think about Kidwrangling and how to make it better. This book is engineered for parents—a lot of work has gone into the index so that people can find stuff fast. Kidwrangling is only good for kindling on a bonfire now.”

Kaz is friendly and sounds excited on the phone, which may not be much of a surprise considering she is talking to me during a break from “addressing about 40 big packages of advanced copies of Babies & Toddlers to all the beautiful experts who helped me”.

If the number of experts sounds large, it’s only reflective of the some 500-page thick book itself and testament to what she feels contributes to the accuracy and reliability of the information she presents.

“There is so much wrong information on the internet for parents and there’s a lot of ‘What I reckon’ stories. I see stuff on websites which could give women an infection or are very dangerous for children,” she says. “That’s why I wanted to go to GPs and psychologists—and parents themselves—but to always check everything medically. Even though I’m still afraid that there is something wrong in the book, I know that I have checked everything.”

Kaz emphasises the importance of checking the year stamp that will appear on the cover of future editions of both Up the Duff and Babies & Toddlers, to ensure parents are getting the updated and latest information.

There is a fine balance when it comes to parenting: how much do you listen to others and when do you simply trust your instincts? “What hasn't changed [through the years] is that people want the best for the kids; they want to do the best thing,” she says. “They can be very anxious about that and I want to help them feel calmer, more in control and that the information that they need is at their fingertips.”

At the same time, she is careful to point out that when it comes to the decisions we make about our children, “It’s important to realise that mothers can do no right.” We live in a world she terms

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social find us @MumsAtTheTable

WHAT'S ON OUR SHOW THIS MONTH?

GETTING LIFE BALANCED . . . . . . according to Kaz Cooke, cartoonist and author of the bestseller Up the Duff, and more recently, Babies & Toddlers: The best thing to have is a supportive partner. Even if one has much more time with the kids, parents need to share and back each other up, and understand what the other one’s life is like. The one who goes off to work should understand that being at home is not a holiday.

You’re not sitting there having a drink in a coconut shell with an umbrella in it. Finding a way not to be isolated is really important too. It’s kind of a cliché now but I say to teenage girls and mums, “You have to be your own best friend. Would you say what you are saying to yourself to your best friend, or would you say, ‘All that is harsh, you are going through a hard time and you are doing great.’”

I do think that this perfectionism that is encouraged, that you have to look a certain way or that your food needs to look a certain way, your kids need to be dressed a certain way is wrong. We need room for individuality, letting kids be who they are, letting parents be who they are.

Sometimes, just getting through the day and that everyone has the right amount of meals and a drink is an achievement when your kids are little. Everyone needs to be easier on themselves and one of the reasons I wanted to write Babies & Toddlers is to give people accurate information. Otherwise, you can spend all of your afternoon online finding out the wrong stuff.

It’s really hard to do your own research, which is why I’ve got suggestions in the book as to which websites are OK to get certain information.

Want to know where the real women go for real conversations about real issues? Come join in the discussions on our Mums At The Table Facebook group.

It's an online mothers’ group where you can ask questions, receive support, make new friends and be part of the village it takes to raise a child.

3 MARCH

• •

Are angry mums more acceptable in society than angry women without children?

Would you let someone else give your child food?

10 MARCH

•

Resident psychologist Collett Smart shows us how to set personal boundaries.

17 MARCH

•

The organic food that’s growing in your own front yard.

24 MARCH

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Motherhood turns women’s lives upsidedown. Should it be the same for dads?

Secrets for living frugally but well.

31 MARCH

•

Answering your questions about sexting: what to do if your kids are doing it.

ALEXA SUTER—UNSPLASH

Melody Tan is editor of Mums At The Table magazine and a regular panellist on Mums At The Table TV show. She lives in Sydney with her husband and her son.

GET

JACOBLUND—GETTY IMAGES

“Judgeyland” and Kaz is highly dismissive of it in her book, in a bid to give mums that bit of confidence we all need when it comes to parenting.

“All the criticism of mums and the anxiety that mums feel . . . they can be getting advice from in-laws and relatives and so much stuff on the internet that can be wrong,” she says. “There is that ridiculous perfect image of what sort of mother you’re meant to be on Instagram. Our kids are healthier than they have ever been, parents have more time to be with their kids and play with their kids than they do in most other societies, and yet we are more anxious than we have been in the past.

“There’s this ocean of information and often criticism. I joke that when you are a new mum [at a hospital] and when they give you a bag with wet wipes and a few things in it, they should put a packet in there marked ‘Guilt’ because from that moment on some people will try to guilt you into agreeing with them about how things should be done.”

Kaz tells me the story of a show she watched, where a man was selling a product to help babies sleep. Asked what if the product doesn’t work, the man responded that it meant the parent was doing it wrong.

“It just made me furious because that’s not fair and that’s not right.” I can hear the irritation in her voice before she continues.

“Different methods work for different babies and that’s what I tried to present in the book. Sometimes, it will work on your first baby and then your second baby comes along and they’re just not interested in your tried-and-true method and it doesn’t work on them.”

True to her views, Babies & Toddlers presents, but doesn’t instruct. From the choice of parenting styles to toddler tips on toilet training and their toys and games, Kaz presents a balanced viewpoint, listing both the pros and cons. She doesn’t tell parents to follow a particular method, leaving them instead to choose their own path.

“Some people can often get into a bubble of their own mothers’ group, they can get isolated in their house and they can even be scared to ask because the people who are going to advise them, they may not trust or fully agree with. What I’ve tried to do in Babies & Toddlers is try to present a lot of options,” she says.

“There are some things I obviously have an opinion on. After 20 years of research I believe that kids need to be immunised but generally, I try to remember that people are looking the book up at three in the morning, feeling a bit sleep-deprived and going a bit bonkers and not necessarily everything will work for every kid.”

And while waking up at three in the morning is mostly a thing of the past for me now, I have this feeling I will be referring to Babies & Toddlers for a little while yet.

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e h t k as experts OUR PANEL:

KATHY FRAY MATERNITY EXPERT KATHYFRAY.COM

NEIL GINSBERG PAEDIATRICIAN SYDNEY ADVENTIST HOSPITAL

TRISH GUY KAREN HOLFORD ANDREW DARON PRATT NUTRITIONIST FAMILY COUNSELLOR PENNINGTON KIDS' CHAPLAIN SANITARIUM HEALTH HEARTWORDS GP SEVENTH-DAY & WELLBEING SANCTUARY LIFESTYLE ADVENTIST CHURCH CLINIC

PETER WOOD OBSTETRICIANGYNAECOLOGIST SYDNEY ADVENTIST HOSPITAL

Q My child has just been diagnosed with whooping cough. How is that possible since he’s had the whooping cough vaccine? Michelle, via email Vaccination is generally quite effective in inducing host immunity to the disease being vaccinated against, however it is not 100 per cent effective. That is to say, some people don’t “seroconvert” (become immune) to the disease after vaccination. Immunity to the disease can also wear off in under 10 years, so this may unfortunately be another reason your child became susceptible to whooping cough. —Andrew

A few key rules apply: see your doctor for an accurate diagnosis, never use leftover medications or give a child something prescribed for an adult. Always read the instructions for weight, size, dose, how and when to dispense, date of expiry and potential interactions with other medications.

Specifically, aspirin should never be given to children, especially during viral illnesses, as it can cause a potentially life-threatening disease. Over-the-counter cold and cough medications have little therapeutic value in children, and are definitely not recommended for children under six. Paracetamol and ibuprofen should be used cautiously, however medical review is recommended if there is any deterioration. Antibiotics should only be used on your doctor’s advice.

Equally importantly is monitoring for possible adverse reactions such as rashes, hives, wheezing or difficulty breathing. Please also ensure safe storage and disposal of any unused medications. —Neil

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SEVENTYFOUR, FILADENDRON, MARILYNA—GETTY IMAGES

Q Are there certain medicines my children should avoid? Becca, via our website

Q What is the best diet to help me lose all my unwanted weight gain since having my baby?

Kim, via email

There is a lot of pressure on mums to lose the pregnancy weight soon after birth, but what’s more important in these early stages is to stay healthy and active while you bond with your baby and adjust to changes in your lifestyle.

Focus on healthy eating from the five core food groups: wholegrain foods, vegetables, fruit, reduced-fat dairy and dairyfree alternatives, and protein foods such as legumes, eggs and nuts, and being active. This will ensure that you are getting adequate nutrition, keeping your energy levels up, building strength and supporting your mood, all with the added side-effect of losing some of that unwanted weight without even thinking about it.

Here are some tips to make healthy eating and exercise easier when you’re busy looking after a new baby: •• Prepare healthy meals in bulk and freeze portions for a quick meal later on.

•• Consider ordering meal kits or having your groceries delivered, at least initially.

•• Keep healthy snacks on hand, such as portioned bags of mixed nuts and dried fruit, pre-chopped vegies and fruit in the fridge, pre-portioned cheese and crackers.

Some ideas to keep active with baby: •• Take a walk around the block, in the local park, to the shops or to a friend’s house with baby in the pram or sling. You can also check if there are mother-baby walking groups in your area or take a friend to combine exercise with a catch-up.

•• Incorporate gentle strength exercises into playtime with baby, such as working on arms and abs by lifting baby up and down in the air, or doing sit-ups while baby is sitting in your lap.

•• Do some squats and lunges while baby is in a sling.

•• Turn on your favourite music and dance with your baby for a light cardio workout.

•• Try some mother-baby stretching classes or mother-baby exercise apps on your phone if you prefer to stay indoors.

—Trish

SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION TO OUR PANEL OF EXPERTS Write to us at: editorial@MumsAtTheTable.com THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IS GENERAL IN NATURE AND DOES NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT YOUR PERSONAL SITUATION. YOU SHOULD CONSIDER WHETHER THE INFORMATION IS APPROPRIATE TO YOUR NEEDS, AND WHERE APPROPRIATE, SEEK PROFESSIONAL ADVICE.

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g n i t i a w

Text

For GOD

Lyle and Lisa with their two children, Marvel and Dare.

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he journey we had been on had taken years. Years of waiting, years of trusting. Years of what just felt like utter turmoil, waiting for a baby to come and for God’s promise in the Bible that “He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children” to come true. Years of trusting God and believing that He would make a way where there was no way for dreams to come true—even my childhood dream of becoming an actress.

In the waiting we felt impatient, we felt like giving up, we felt

SUPPLIED

Seven years. That was how long Lisa Carey and her husband Lyle tried to conceive. After nearly giving up hope, they chose to trust God.

like God was teasing us and that He didn’t love us anymore. The years became lonely and painful. The pain became bitter. The bitterness nearly made us lose faith and walk away.

Our current culture opposes the growth of character. The angst of desire suffocates the logic of our minds in the “wanting” instead of “waiting”. And the waiting seems impossible in our minds because of how society has bred us to live.

The deepest question of How to wait? sat inside of my husband and I as we battled our lives and our faith for answers. How to

wait for God’s promise of a baby, a home, a particular career path? Or even to wait and trust in God for a dream to come into being.

I found myself reading the Bible in order to connect with God and hear His voice in my life. During that season of waiting for our dream to have a baby, God was conceiving in my husband and I a dream of making movies. After being fed up with the lack of good quality, soul-feeding content available, we decided to make our dreams of filmmaking come true.

Seven years of waiting for a child helped us develop a faith in God that encouraged us to believe the impossible can happen in the most impossible circumstances. Not getting what we wanted drove us to find something else in life, where we could say, “Well, how else can I make my life of value?” instead of drowning in self-pity. By then, we had suffered IVF failure three times and I was told to get a donor egg, but God told me to trust Him. The experience pushed us to do what we always wanted to do. We developed a drive (probably from our frustration) and started making short films.

During the process of making 10 short films, we created a community of like-minded filmmakers. That was when I started feeling weary of waiting for a baby again and was at my lowest.

God was really making us walk the walk of trust.

So I chose to envision the baby in my arms and worship Him for it, while continuing to read the Bible and pray. Shortly after, we fell pregnant naturally with our daughter Marvel—her name derived from the Bible: “Marvellous are Your works” (Psalm 139:14, NKJV)—we knew we would marvel at what God had done in our lives.

From there, the inspiration was so great we felt it was time to make a real film—a full-length feature film. Lyle came up with the concept of the story of the movie Trust with our friend and writer Angus Benfield, and together we produced the film with our amazing community of filmmakers.

Inspired by the book of Job in the Bible, Trust is relatable to anyone going through hard times. Trust gives a modern account of an everyday guy, Daniel, whose life is falling apart. His marriage to Sarah (played by myself) crumbles and his children are caught in the middle as he begins to lose everything else in his life.

Daniel, in his bitterness, learns how to trust even in the hard times—something we were very familiar with in our own journey.

The film carries humour and warmth in its characters, even though it hits real life issues. Our desire was to give God a platform to speak through film—to encourage, heal and inspire people to faith once again. With the movie’s release, people have told us how it had encouraged them as they walked though some of life’s toughest battles.

Our own struggle of trying to conceive our dreams of having a family and filmmaking seemed to end all at once when we began making films. Our second child Dare was conceived during the production of Trust. The juggle and the struggle brought joy and fulfilment as we felt we had passed the test of faith, like the story of Job: “He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”

Of course this new season brought its own trials. Now we

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Above: Behind the scenes of Lyle and Lisa’s most recent feature film, Trust, which Lisa (top left) also stars in.

Right: Lyle and Lisa at the launch of their first feature film, Trust.

Discovery Ad from January

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for Trust. My daughter had insisted always on rubbing my hair on her face for comfort as she drank from me. But that evening, my hair was being prepared and couldn’t be touched, so my sister let her hair down and allowed my daughter to play with it while Marvel nursed from me. It was beautiful: a family bonding moment between aunty, mother and daughter/niece.

Today, we are moving close to family to continue to not only dream but do the dreams God has placed within us. We feel the need to be surrounded by people who love us and can help us and provide a village for our children. We need to be positioned in our lives for the next season. Positioned so we can hear His voice clearer, protect the health and joy of our family—particularly our marriage—and have room in our lives to unfold God’s future dreams for us.

Executive producer and actress Lisa Carey loves anything creative but, most importantly, loves being mum to her two children Marvel and Dare and wife to Lyle Carey. Her first feature film, Trust, is available through trustthefilm.com.

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battled not only making a film and financial pressures, but fitting our children into our work/life balance—the irony was not lost on us. Looking through the busyness, appreciating what God had done in our lives and having a solid drive in us to complete what we had started (with the film) was what kept us joyful despite the chaotic life of a two-year-old and a newborn.

Through my journey, I have learned that God has a time and season we can trust in. He has a purpose in the waiting, as He develops in us treasures of character or birthing other dreams we haven’t even thought of. Frustration of waiting can turn us away or lead us closer to God. It can lead us to do and have far more than what’s in our dreams.

For us, we made our first feature film, Trust, I had my first lead role in a feature film and we had two amazing beautiful children, Marvel and Dare.

“Now to Him who is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes or dreams], according to His power that is at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20, AMP; italics added) is the source of Dare’s name.

As for juggling a career and motherhood, we took our family with us and allowed others to bring theirs. At our movie premiere and cinema releases, we had new babies and our community brought their families. We had toddlers on set and Marvel got to star in her first feature film too.

I remember my sister bringing my daughter in for her evening feed while I was getting hair and make up done for a night scene

NO

! k r o w e hom 1

By Felicity Dougherty

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DAMIRCUDIC—GETTY IMAGES

School assignments: why they can sometimes do more harm than good.

I

t’s 7.30 pm on a Wednesday. The kids and I have arrived home with the after-school activity juggernaut completed.

Wednesday is my late day at work so my five-year-old goes to chess club after school, finishing at 4.30.

After a quick play in the school playground, we head over to her eight-year-old brother’s campus two kilometres up the road to pick him up from gymnastics. Next up are the 10- and 14-yearolds, and finally my 12-year-old, who finishes basketball practice at 5.45 (and who realises in the car he has left his school shoes courtside and has to go back and get them before we can leave).

Luckily, there are no accidents on the motorway today and in anticipation of the Wednesday night late finish, I have the slow

cooker bubbling away as we arrive home in the darkness, at the same time as my husband. I put the rice in the microwave while my husband gets the little ones bathed and into pyjamas. The older three grudgingly unpack their bags and set up their books and computers for the second shift: homework.

This particular night, in the midst of a fairly intense family discussion about the nature of space and the validity of black holes, antimatter and gravity, where the young minds in the family (and the old ones too) were being challenged, creativity was being inspired and investigative thinking was being developed, I reluctantly look at my watch and declare dinner over so that we can get through the evening’s homework. I cringe at the memory.

After we clear the table and do the dishes, I sit my five-yearold down—at 7.45 pm, no less—for home readers and sight words. Only half an hour earlier, she had been introduced to the concept of gravity.

I then fight with my eight-year-old to complete his homework in (even slightly) legible handwriting, when all he can think about is whether antimatter could exist within an environment of gravity. I also have to tell off my 10-year-old who, inspired by the dinner-time conversation, tells me he just wants to read the new sci-fi book he checked out of the library.

My 12-year-old stares blankly at his computer, trying to get started on his art assignment, while my 14-year-old works away

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WHAT CAN

PARENTS DO?

Don’t let homework rule your household. Since giving up on homework for my kids, I have been rather surprised at my children’s teachers’ responses. One teacher suggested that my eightyear-old son (with atrocious handwriting) could write a journal each day instead of his homework. Another teacher told me not to worry, she really didn’t mind at all—just don’t let the other parents know! My high schoolers still do their homework, but I don’t force, beguile or bribe them. I do, however, have one enforced rule: no homework before dinner. Pre-dinner is a time to chat (and not via SMS) and catch up, play a game or go for a walk, not for homework.

Don’t let homework replace contributing

Parenting expert Steve Biddulph warns of the dangers of kowtowing to the idol of homework and allowing it to let our children,

diligently, trying to do two nights’ worth of homework in one, as she has her beloved dance class the following night.

As I climb into bed exhausted later that night—way past everybody’s bedtimes—I ask myself what we have gained by making my children industriously complete the night's assigned tasks: a five-year-old tantrum, some creativity stifling and a sharp dissolution to some quality family time.

I am not the only one bothered by this homework malarkey.

Many of my friends are in the same situation—or worse. What about my friends who work an hour-and-a-half commute away from their kids’ school and who spend their Sundays catching up on the week’s homework set for their seven- and eight-year-olds?

Or my friend who is a single, working mother and feels the pressure to get the kids to do two weeks’ worth of homework when they have their week with her, since their dad won’t help on his week? It is creating a wedge between her and her kids.

Or my friend who spends hours after school each day working with her son with a learning disability, when he just wants to go outside and play?

Alfie Kohn, an American author and a proponent of progressive education (an educational movement that gives more value to experience than formal learning), argues in his book, The Homework Myth, that there is no credible evidence for homework.

In fact, he argues that “busy work”—for example, the writing out of sight words or repetitive maths worksheets—can actually be

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and especially our teenagers, not contribute to the running of the household that they are a part of. It is essential for each family member to contribute, whether it be unpacking the dishwasher or wiping the bench. A child’s contribution is valuable and important.

One of the risks of the pressure of homework is that we exempt our children from their contribution to their family, so they can finish their homework. This not only robs them of a sense of belonging but of self-worth, and as mums pick up the slack, we can enable an unbalanced gender perception amongst our young men.

Our future daughter in-laws will not be thankful for that!

Family time rules

Family time is what makes children feel emotionally connected and strengthened to face the world. And I regret the many times that I chose homework over family time. Never again!

counterproductive by turning kids off school and robbing families of valuable family time.

Alfie is not alone in his view on homework. Australia’s self-proclaimed “anti-homework queen” and popular parenting author and educator Maggie Dent agrees wholeheartedly. As a proponent of “common-sense parenting”, she advocates replacing homework-time with play-time, even for teenagers, suggesting that modern children’s stress levels are a direct result of a lack of downtime for children and adolescents.

Maggie also disagrees with the commonly held theory that children who are struggling at school should use homework as a time to practise the skills that they have acquired during the school day, suggesting that these students need a break from “work” and some time to simply be a child. On the flipside, she suggests high-achieving students often develop perfectionism as they strive to complete all the assigned homework tasks on schedule and with no mistakes.

One of the world's best known parent educators, Steve Biddulph, states in his book, Raising Boys (which even has a section titled “Homework Hell”), that the pressure that comes with homework “destroys kids’ love of learning”. Even John Hattie, arguably Australia and New Zealand’s leading teacher educator and educational researcher, is famously quoted as saying, “Homework in primary school has an effect of around zero.”

So if all the experts line up in their anti-homework views, why

FREEPIK.COM, MORSA IMAGES—GETTY IMAGES

Don’t force the issue

are our kids still coming home with sight words and worksheets at the tender age of five? Michael Carr-Gregg, a leading family psychologist, suggests that it is actually upward pressure from parents to school principals—especially in private schools—that leads to the culture of homework. Yes, you heard it right, parents are demanding homework for their kids in a misguided attempt to help their children achieve academically.

In my family, we have stopped caring about homework for the children. I would love to say that since then, all has been rosy in our little corner but of course that is not the case. There are still over-tired five-year-old meltdowns, anxious teenagers trying to get assignments completed in time and traffic jams on the way home from school, but it is much calmer.

Sunday afternoons are spent with the younger kids playing outside, not stuck at the table catching up on the week’s homework or glued to the computer screen to keep up with the rest of the class on Mathletics.

My five-year-old somehow still managed to complete all her sight words without me pulling them out of the bag for the whole term. My eight-year-old has written some fabulously funny anecdotes in his journal and my 10-year-old managed to read

the whole way through his favourite book series. The world kept spinning, although it felt just a little slower and more balanced.

Felicity Dougherty tries to balance her family with her day job as a freelance web designer and digital marketing consultant, helping out at her church and blogging at Footsteps and Freckles.

Managing your child’s

the body burns its own fat, leading to a dangerous condition called ketoacidosis.

In children, type 2 diabetes is much less common than type 1 diabetes, but may be caused by an unhealthy lifestyle, poor diet, lack of exercise, obesity and sometimes genetic factors. There are only approximately 400 cases diagnosed each year amongst 10to 24-year-olds.

DIABETES

WHEN SHOULD I HAVE MY CHILD TESTED? It’s always better to be on the safe side when it comes to type 1 diabetes. Testing is advisable if your child suddenly displays these symptoms: •• Excessive thirst •• Asking to go to the toilet more frequently •• Feeling tired and lethargic •• Unexplained sudden weight loss •• Blurred vision •• Skin infections or cuts that heal slowly The diagnosis of diabetes is a relatively simple process. A visit to the GP to explain your child’s symptoms should lead to a finger-prick blood glucose test in the office and a venous blood glucose test if the doctor has concerns.

If your child is diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, it is important to remember there is plenty of support to help manage it and to allow your child to live a healthy and happy life. Children with newly-diagnosed diabetes are often admitted to hospital for a few days where there is lots of support available from diabetes nurse educators, doctors, dieticians and sometimes, psychologists. Looking after a child with type 1 diabetes is best done by an experienced multidisciplinary team.

Your child should be involved in as much of the conversation as possible between you and their doctor to increase their understanding of type 1 diabetes. This will help with everyday management and enable them to become independent and take more responsibility as they transition to the teenage and young adult years.

It can be a shock if your child is diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, but with an estimated 6500 Australian children aged 0–14 affected, you are certainly not alone.

By Dr Katherine Benson

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D

iabetes is one of the most common chronic childhood conditions. It can be overwhelming, confusing and worrying as you, your child and other members of the family adapt to such a life-changing diagnosis.

Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease in which the immune system is activated to destroy the cells in the pancreas that produce insulin. It is not due to lifestyle factors and cannot be prevented or cured.

Lack of insulin leads to high levels of glucose in the blood, which can lead to both short-term health problems and longterm complications if not well managed. People with type 1 diabetes need insulin every day to keep them alive. Without insulin,

AMR IMAGE—GETTY IMAGES, PATRICK FORE—UNSPLASH

TREATMENT AND MANAGEMENT Your child will need to monitor their blood glucose level up to six times per day. An alternative is continuous glucose monitoring or CGM, which is now government-funded for Australians under the age of 21 who have type 1 diabetes.

Insulin is given by multiple daily injections into the skin or via an insulin pump. Keeping blood glucose levels in the optimum range is a careful balance between what food is eaten, insulin dose and physical activity levels.

Insulin pumps are similar in size to a mobile phone, battery operated and hold a small amount of insulin. Worn 24 hours a day under a child’s shirt or dress, a pump is programmed to deliver insulin into the body through a small plastic tube, enabling a more flexible lifestyle compared to injections, and allowing your child to have better control over their diabetes. Children with pumps can

still play sport and in fact may have more stable glucose levels after exercise than children on multiple daily injections.

Having diabetes can be both a physical and psychological battle at times. In the early days, it’s not unusual for your child to feel down and isolated or despise the effort that management of their diabetes requires.

Seeing a diabetes educator, psychologist or social worker may help with this, as will the establishment of a diabetes management plan. It is helpful to ensure that your child’s school is fully informed and becomes a partner in the monitoring and management plan.

There will come a point in your child’s life between the ages of 16 and 18 when they will make the move from medical support services specific to childhood to adult medical care. While this can be daunting for you and your child, your health care professionals are experienced to help with this transition.

If your child develops type 1 diabetes, they will need regular monitoring and good management to stay healthy, but diabetes will not stop them from enjoying a happy and very active life.

Dr Katherine Benson is an endocrinologist at Sydney Adventist Hospital, New South Wales’ largest private and not-for-profit hospital.

HYPOGLYCEMIA

A hypoglycemic episode or “hypo” is a low blood glucose level (below 4mmol/L) causing hunger, sweating, trembling, paleness, dizziness, headache and sometimes confusion or irritability.

Hypoglycemia can be caused by too much insulin, delaying or missing a meal, not eating enough carbohydrates, unplanned physical activity or alcohol consumption. It is treated with high sugar food or drinks such as jelly beans FREE PRINTAB or orange juice initially, followed by a LE “DIABETIC FOOD LIS longer-acting carbohydrate food such T” AVAILAB LE FOR as a slice of bread.

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WELLBEING with Collett SCREENTIME VS GREEN TIME

REAL WOMEN | REAL CONVERSATIONS | REAL ISSUES

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COLLETT She’s an author, mum of three and psychologist. Watch Collett Smart share ways mums can look after their own wellbeing on the Mums At The Table TV show.

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ature is known to provide cognitive benefits and enhance our overall physical and mental wellbeing. Yet, thanks to technology, many children are not getting enough exercise or spending enough time outdoors.

However, there is no easy answer to how much time your child should be allowed with technology, because not all screentime is equal. So instead of banning screentime, we need to help our children find a healthy balance.

Start by setting a clear screentime plan, with rules about when and for how long your child can use entertainment media such as online games and movies. Also, add suggestions for offline activities. Your plan should also include consideration for controlled access by a parent for children and younger teens, age restrictions for games and movies, as well as consequences for breaking the rules.

Some other boundaries might include: • A balance of screentime and green time (literally seeing nature) activities. For example, encourage children to spend one hour outside after a one-hour session on a screen (in the garden, at a park, kicking a ball, jumping on a trampoline).

• Non-screen entertainment options (board games, reading a book, playing an instrument, playing with toys, dancing, cuddling animals, arts and craft).

• Developing a mix of face-to-face socialising opportunities.

• A list of weekly physical activity (it is recommended that children aged 5–12 years engage in at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous intensity physical activity every day).

• Locate devices in a shared visible place in the home and ensure that all technology (including your teen’s phone) is out of bedrooms at night.

• Agreed bedtimes per age, with screens switched off around one to two hours before bed (to calm overstimulated brains).

• How parents will model healthy screentime habits.

Get the whole family involved in creating the list. Children are more inclined to stick to a plan they feel they were part of creating. Put this up as a tangible list on the fridge if your child needs it.

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HEALTHY EATING FOR THE

g n i t c e p Ex Mum

By Steph Lowe

GET YOUR KITCHEN SORTED It’s great to take stock, give your pantry and fridge a clean-out and make room to stock it with ingredients that will make preparing healthy, nutrient-dense meals easy.

The vast majority of what you prepare should be created from the most nutrient-dense foods on the planet: fresh fruit and vegetables, eggs, plant proteins, avocado, nuts and seeds.

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IT’S ALL IN THE PLANNING There’s one simple way to avoid falling victim to having no food in the fridge and heeding the siren call of takeaway. Get ahead when you have a window of opportunity and usually that means the weekend. It will make a huge difference to your week if on Saturday or Sunday you put the slow cooker on or prepare a few of your favourite snacks.

That way you will never get stuck with nothing to eat, especially between meals as your hunger increases.

Simple strategies you can utilise include freezing smoothie ingredients in ziplock bags so you can add them to the blender with water or your choice of milk, and preparing serving sizes of trail mix and vegetable sticks to eat with hummus or guacamole.

USE YOUR FREEZER If you know you’re going to be working late during the week or have an exercise class you’d like to attend, it can be a huge advantage to cook meals early in the week and freeze them. Before you leave in the morning, put the dish in the fridge to defrost while you’re out and you’ll have a meal on the table 10 minutes after you arrive home. This can be a complete life-saver if you’re low on energy and motivation after a full day in the office!

PIXELFIT—GETTY IMAGES

A

s an expecting mum, your nutrition has never been more important, as what you eat will feed you and your growing baby.

Here are some kitchen and shopping tips and tricks to help you have your healthiest pregnancy yet.

BUY IN BULK Buying your pantry staples in bulk can really help your time and your back pocket. Staples like almond flour, coconut, and nuts and seeds are far more cost-effective when purchased in larger quantities. Rather than

relying on the health food aisle of your local supermarket, check out a bulk wholefood store.

TREAT YOURSELF Being pregnant doesn’t mean you have to suddenly be 100 per cent perfect with your nutrition, but it is important to remember that quality counts.

Why not add some 70+ per cent dark chocolate to your shopping trolley the next time you’re at the supermarket and pick one night a week where you take the night off cooking and order in your favourite meal. It’s all about balance after all.

Steph Lowe, “The Natural Nutritionist”, is a leading Australian sports nutritionist specialising in real food education, high performance fat loss and metabolic efficiency for athletes. Low Carb Healthy Fat Nutrition is her latest book. She is currently pregnant with her first child.

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The art of cooking VEGETABLES

By Lee Holmes

Oven-baked broccoli and cauliflower steaks

E

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INGREDIENTS

Text

2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 3 garlic cloves 2 tbsp lemon juice 1 tsp cumin seeds 1 tsp ground coriander 1 tsp garam masala ½ tsp ground turmeric 2 tbsp nutritional yeast flakes Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste 1 small head cauliflower, cut into 4 thick slices 1 head broccoli, cut into 4 thick slices Yoghurt and pomegranate, to serve Small handful coriander leaves, to serve

METHOD

Images and recipes from Supercharge your Life by Lee Holmes, Murdoch Books, RRP $35.

Photography by Luisa Brimble.

1. Preheat the oven to 200°C and line a baking tray with baking paper.

2. In a small bowl, combine the olive oil, garlic, lemon juice, cumin seeds, ground coriander, garam masala, turmeric, yeast flakes, salt and pepper.

3. Lay the cauliflower and broccoli slices on the prepared baking tray, and brush with the spice mixture, turning over to coat both sides. Bake for 20–30 minutes, until tender. Set aside to cool.

4. Transfer the “steaks” to a plate, top with yoghurt and pomegranate, and garnish with the coriander leaves to serve.

March 2019

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SUPPLIED

Lee Holmes has an advanced certificate in food and nutrition and is a certified wholistic health coach, wholefoods chef and bestselling author of the Supercharged Food series.

35 MINUTES 4

DGL IMAGES—GETTY IMAGES

ating is all about balance. If you’ve been out of your normal routine while at work or on holidays and found you’ve overindulged in a specific food, spend the next few days nourishing yourself back to homoeostasis (metabolic balance) with the foods you’ve been missing. If you’ve spent a few days eating lots of starchy, cooked foods, for example, it might be a good idea to spend a couple of days eating some raw and lighter foods through vegie juices, salads and vegetable soups.

Just because vegetables are good for us doesn’t mean that eating them should be seen as an unfortunate yet necessary chore. While some of us, particularly children, will cross the street to avoid vegetables, they really are the gift that keeps on giving. The secret to eating more vegetables is to prepare them in a way that makes them just as delicious as the foods they’re partnered with.

In fact, vegetables can be the flavour hero of the show if you know how to bring out their trademark charm.

While it may seem strange, cooking vegetables is a skill that not everyone has mastered—press rewind and take a look at your last aeroplane or takeaway meal. The most important thing to remember when cooking vegetables is that each one needs to be treated as an individual, just like any leading act. Some, such as onions, are better sautéed, while others, like root vegetables, are delicious roasted, to draw out their natural sweetness. A variety of leafy greens are best served steamed, while other vegies simply taste better raw.

Each cooking method has its advantages and disadvantages, and each gives different vegetables a particular flavour and texture. Always remember to wash your vegetables thoroughly before preparation, regardless of whether they’re organic. Buying vegetables from farmers’ markets rather than large supermarket chains will give you fresher produce and access to a range of varieties that the supermarkets don’t carry.

29

COOKING with Gia & Olive Marinated tofu 10 MINUTES + 30 MINUTES MARINATING TIME 3–4 INGREDIENTS ¼ cup water 2 tbsp soy sauce 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar 1 tbsp maple syrup 1 tsp garlic powder 300 g firm tofu, diced ½ tsp arrowroot powder

METHOD 1. Mix all ingredients (except tofu and arrowroot powder)

AS SEEN ON NEW ZEALAND

Quinoa Salsa Salad 25 MINUTES 8 INGREDIENTS 3 cups tricolour quinoa, cooked 1 x 420 g tin organic kidney beans, drained and washed 1 cup cherry tomatoes, cut in half 1 large red onion, diced 1 red capsicum, diced ½ cup Kalamata olives, pitted and chopped 1 cup fresh coriander, finely chopped Salt, to taste Juice of 2 limes or 1 lemon

in a mixing bowl until well combined.

2. Add tofu and allow to marinate, covered, in the fridge for 30 minutes (leave in the fridge for longer for a stronger flavour).

METHOD

3. Strain tofu, but do not discard

1. Cook the quinoa according to the instructions on the packet.

2. Mix the remaining ingredients with the quinoa in a bowl.

3. Top with lime juice.

the marinade. Add arrowroot powder to the marinade and combine well. Set aside.

4. Sauté tofu in a frypan until golden brown, then add marinade until mixture thickens.

5. Serve in salads, sushi rolls, rice dishes or Vietnamese rolls.

1 tsp vanilla essence

Ice Chocolate

METHOD

Chocolate Nut ButteR 5 MINUTES INGREDIENTS 1 cup medjool dates, pitted (soaked in water for a few hours for extra smoothness) ½ cup filtered water 1½ tbsp cacao powder ¹/³ cup nut butter (cashew, brazil or hazelnut)

METHOD Blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth.

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FOOD STYLED BY SHONA SOLOMON AND PHOTOGRAPHED BY ADAM KAVANAGH

5 MINUTES 3

1. Pulse ice cubes in a blender until broken down into crushed ice.

2. Add the remaining ingredients and blend until well combined, resembling a frappé in consistency.

INGREDIENTS 2 trays ice cubes 2 tbsp cacao powder 1 tbsp 100% maple syrup 250 ml non-dairy milk

GIA & OLIVE The world's cutest sous-chef and her talented mother show us how easy it is to be healthy.

Watch how quickly Gia and Olive can make these recipes on the Mums At The Table TV show.

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31

RODNEY

A MONSTER IN MY HOUSE

Kelly Canby Fremantle Press $24.99

The Umbilical Brothers & Johan Potma Puffin Books $24.99

Any child who feels small and insignificant will be able to relate to this story about a little tortoise who wished he could climb a tree . . . until a shift of perspective changes everything. Teaching notes can be downloaded to help explore the story further with your child.

Just that little bit silly, but nothing you wouldn’t expect from comedic duo The Umbilical Brothers. The rhyming narrative makes this fun to read aloud to your kid, while the broad brushstrokes give this book a certain cartoonlike quality. The twist at the end will make you— and your child—want to read the book again.

SNOW PENGUIN

BIG DIGGER LITTLE DIGGER

WIN

Tony Mitton & Alison Brown Bloomsbury Children’s Books $14.99

As you read this book to your child, about the many adventures of a little penguin, you’ll find great excuses for plenty of cuddles. This book is fun because it’s written in rhyme, with lots of happy, smiling South Pole creatures. However, the dominance of the colour blue over everything else may cause little eyes to wander.

WIN

Even if your kid misses the lesson of the story or can’t quite follow the storyline, it is still entirely possible this will become one of their favourite books if they love construction machinery. There is adventure, there are eye-catching illustrations, but most of all, there are diggers, cement mixes and dump trucks.

CARDBOARD BOX CREATIONS Laura Baker Lonely Planet Kids $24.99

CLEMENTINE ROSE AND THE BAKE-OFF DILEMMA

CRAFTY SCIENCE

Jacqueline Harvey Random House Australia $14.99

BOATS: FAST & SLOW

Inspire your child to let their imagination run free as they explore the great outdoors, much like the “good old days”. A beautifully illustrated story about sharing and problem-solving. A perfect accompaniment to Lonely Planet Kids’ Cardboard Box Creations (see review on next page).

More rhyme- and adventurefilled fun with the familiar Noni in the Noni the Pony series.

Introduce your child to the entire gamut of Australian animals with this read-aloud picture book by award-winning children’s book author, Alison Lester. The wide-eyed animals make the illustrations particularly appealing.

This will likely appeal only to children who have an interest in boats, as it delves deep into the vessels’ early origins and any historical event of note. For the boat-obsessed child, this will be a book to treasure, with its fun and colourful illustrations, detailed facts, and information on the role of boats in different cultures.

March 2019

Jane Bull DK $19.99

Your child can use this book on their own, but realistically, you don’t have to wait for your child to learn how to read to utilise it. Use it as a reference guide for educational activities and crafts with younger kids.

The “What’s the science” section will help you to explain the science behind each project.

Yet another wholesome and sweet novel in the Clementine Rose series.

There is mystery, there is conflict and there is adventure, but most of all, it is a novel filled with good, simple fun—in a world where love, kindness and giving everyone a second chance trumps. A warm and delightful book for young readers.

Alison Lester Allen & Unwin $24.99

WIN

David Long & Harry Bloom Wide Eyed Editions $27.99

Reminiscent of Where’s Wally, this is essentially a search-andfind book with historical information. It’s good, interactive, educational fun with plenty of little details (hence the enclosed magnifying glass) for kids to unconsciously learn, and perhaps entice even the most history-averse child!

NONI THE PONY RESCUES A JOEY

MumsAtTheTable.com

WIN

EGYPT MAGNIFIED

Ever wondered what to do with all the cardboard packaging and boxes you have lying around at home? Get your child this book. Filled with instructions to make plenty of creations—both large and small—this will keep kids busy, while introducing them to the wonderful sights of the world.

THE BOX CARS Robert Vescio & Cara King EK Books $24.99

32

Timothy Knapman & Daron Parton Walker Books $24.99

PRIMARY

PRESCHOOL

BOOK CORNER

WINEN'S RSE D L I E CH TBH S! OOK ! !

S K O BO

Iris Volant & Jarom Vogel Flying Eye Books $27.99

WIN

g parentin on your ry if to s d l n a ence a person or experi e Submit a thoughts we’ll send you th , y e rn u jo , ry to ! s e g our n this pa we use y atured o books fe te to us at Wri le.com tTheTab MumsA l@ a ri o edit

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Building

what to say TO HELP your child's mental health

IN CHILDREN

By Dr Amy Alamar and Dr Kristine Schlichting

“Strong emotions can be scary sometimes and certain feelings like deep sadness or anxiety should be shared with an adult.

Have you ever felt that way? Have you known another person who felt that way?”

“You seem different from your usual self.

Do you sense yourself changing? How?”

Stress can often be handled by talking and expressing yourself. If you feel your child is struggling with stress or anxiety or another mental health issue, ask your doctor for some support and a possible referral to a mental health professional. While you don’t want to panic, you do want to address concerns as quickly as you can.

“What does that feeling make you want to do?”

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March 2019

SUITABLE FOR PARENTS WITH PRESCHOOLERS, TWEENS OR TEENAGERS

“When you get stressed, what does it look like? How do you know you are stressed? How do you handle it? What are some healthy ways to cope with stress?”

Find out how you can strengthen and build resilience in your children with Mums At The Table’s resident psychologist, qualified teacher and author, Collett Smart.

WHERE

Fox Valley Seventh-day Adventist Community Church 183a Fox Valley Rd Wahroonga, NSW 2076 Australia

“Do you ever feel like talking to anyone else? What makes you feel more comfortable about sharing your feelings? How can I help?”

PURCHASE COLLETT’S LATEST BOOK DURING THE WORKSHOP

TICKETS $15.00*. Tickets are strictly limited, so get in quick to secure your seat!

EXTRACTED, WITH PERMISSION, FROM THE PARENTING PROJECT, BY AMY ALAMAR AND KRISTINE SCHLICHTING (FRONTLIST, 2018).

Dr Amy Alamar has worked in the field of education as a teacher, teacher educator, researcher, parent educator and education reformer for more than 15 years. Dr Kristine Schlichting is an innovator, entrepreneur, expert problem solver and change agent fusing together the principles of psychology, neuroscience, coaching and wellness.

FINISHED WITH THIS MAGAZINE? PASS IT ON TO YOUR FRIENDS! 34

SYDNEY, MARCH 19, 2019, 6.15 pm

“Think about how our behaviour feeds into our feelings. For example, if we are sad, we may feel like sleeping all day, but we need to think about whether that behaviour (sleeping) feeds the feeling we don’t want. What behaviour would feed a feeling of happiness?”

“Emotions are like colours of the rainbow. Maybe red is anger, blue is sadness, pink is joy and purple is anxiety.

You also may feel more than one emotion at a time. What are you feeling right now?”

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heck in and take your child’s emotional temperature regularly. Have them express their emotions in words. Regularly checking in with your child will give you a baseline of how they are doing and will help you determine if they are out of their “normal” range and need more attention or assistance. Here are some questions to ask to start the conversation:

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