At The Table - March 2018

AT THE

REAL WOMEN | REAL CONVERSATIONS | REAL ISSUES

THE BRAVE ISSUE MARCH 2018

Terrorism

AND YOUR KIDS CAMPAIGN FOR

gender equality

EXCHANGING SECURITY FOR

hug s & laug hter

AS SEEN ON NEW ZEALAND

REAL WOMEN | REAL CONVERSATIONS | REAL ISSUES

contents

MARCH 2018

table talk

Jo in us

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PANELLISTS Fiona, Rachel, Shona, Melody, Rachel and Maryellen discuss a range of topics including current events, issues and family life.

8 PARENTING PAINS First-time mum dilemma: trust an expert or our instincts?

11 WOULD YOU...

Cry in front of your children?

14 THE BIG PICTURE

She thought she couldn't have children—then she had 50.

18 NO LONGER SILENT

It was time she spoke up about violence against women.

32 BOOK CORNER 34 BRAVE MUMS

24

how-to

6 TALKING TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT TERRORISM 22 MANDI MAKES Nourishing shaving cream; magnesium deodorant; toilet cleaning bombs; pavement chalk paint.

26 GOOD NEWS FOR MODERN PARENTS 30 COOKING WITH GIA & OLIVE Homemade potato chips; fruity ice-cream; raspberry crumble; avocado dip.

12 30

wellbeing

12 ASK THE EXPERTS 24 EXERCISE WITH ALISHA Love yourself.

PLUS healthy recipes, exercise tips, DIY projects and awesome hacks for around the home.

find us on social media @thetabletvshow

#thetabletvshow

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EDITOR Melody Tan

SEND ALL LETTERS AND SUBMISSIONS TO: At The Table magazine PO Box 1115, Wahroonga, NSW 2076 or email editorial@thetabletv.com

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VOLUME 2 NUMBER 3 The Brave Issue

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PRIVACY NOTICE This issue of At The Table magazine is published by Adventist Media Network (AMN). This issue

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Reader Offers may require you to provide personal information to enter or to take part. AMN may use and disclose your information in accordance with our Privacy Policy, including to provide you with your requested products or services and to keep you informed of other AMN publications, products, services and events. Our Privacy Policy is located at www.thetabletv.com/ privacy.

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GET

from the

pproaching the end of my pregnancy, I can still recall the deep fear I had. It sounds silly, but the prospect of physical pain terrified me more than the thought of raising a tiny human who would be completely dependent on me for a very long time.

Two questions kept looping in my head: How will I know I’m in labour? and How painful will it be? (In the end, I didn’t recognise I was in labour and nearly gave birth in the hospital car park! As for the pain, it wasn’t that bad, although I certainly have no desire to revisit it in a hurry.)

I believe for most of us, avoiding pain—emotional or physical—is pretty high on our priority list. And as mums, helping our children avoid those types of pain is probably even more important. But while we can baby-proof our homes to prevent a television from falling on our kids, it’s difficult to completely shield them from the reality of this world.

We want to raise strong, resilient and brave children, but how do we do so in a world filled with so much terror? When our children fall sick, how do we comfort them when every fibre of our being is frantically trying not to panic? When they face challenges as they get older, how do we stop ourselves from swooping in so they can learn from the lessons and come out more independent?

This month’s At The Table is all about bravery. Brave women who dedicate their lives to looking after orphans, brave women who dare to challenge the status quo and speak up against violence, brave women who are willing to admit they will not always get it right, but instead of being discouraged, continue to do their very best.

And isn’t that what motherhood is all about? We may not have all the answers, but we will always do our best.

Melody

find us @thetabletvshow

WHAT'S ON OUR SHOW THIS MONTH? • •

11–17 MARCH

• •

“Having a daughter didn’t complete my family.”

Author Michelle Derrig on how to empower children against sexual assault.

18–24 MARCH

•

• •

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March 2018

WHO DO YOU THINK SHOULD HANDLE THE FINANCES IN THE FAMILY?

Would you let your kids plan the family meals for a week?

Guest Cecily Paterson shares her journey of having a child with autism.

Vicki: I think it should be whoever in the partnership has been gift-

Why Jamie Oliver’s daughter is banned from taking selfies.

Should you encourage your kids to play competitive sports?

25–31 MARCH

What did we get right? What can we do better? What are the conversations you're having? What are the issues you're facing?

The author of our letter of the month wins a free Arnie’s Shack: The Complete First Series four-disc DVD set, suitable for your children (or nieces or nephews)! Write to us at editorial@thetabletv.com

Did you know we have a Facebook community where you can join in the conversation on our show segments, magazine articles and much more? Recently, we asked our members:

4–10 MARCH

•

Drop us a line and win a gift!

social

NEGATIVE SPACE—PEXELS

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editor

Sharon: My hubby does and I like it that way. Less stress for me but

The lunchbox wars.

Shichida: the brain-training centre for young children.

CATCH US AT 4.30am every Sunday on Channel Ten (Australia)

ed in this area. In my own marriage this has been my husband, but in my parents’ and in-laws’ marriages it was my mum and [motherin-law] who took on this role. In Proverbs 31, the good wife is praised for her management of family finances!

we do talk and pray together about major financial decisions. I think it should be the husband’s role. As a wife I am called to submit and this is one way in which I submit and my husband leads.

Marion: It’s always a personal choice but what is absolutely critical youtube.com /thetabletvshow

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is that both parties have financial literacy and the ability to manage financial affairs. Ignorance is not bliss, it’s dangerous!

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TALKING TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT

Even if terror events happen overseas and not in our own cities, they can still trigger fear in children who find out about them on TV or through friends. How can we reassure them?

By Melody Tan

SHIELD For very young children, if possible, prevent them from being exposed to media reports or adult conversations regarding terror events. Even if they don’t yet understand words, they are very perceptive of tone of voice and our feelings.

LIFESTYLE The way we go about our daily lives has a vital impact on the amount of fear and anxiety our children feel. While we need to practically ensure their environment is safe and secure, Dr Janet Hall, a psychologist and author of Fear-Free Children, advises us to maintain a routine as best as we can. “Children thrive on rules and structure. They feel safe when they know what to expect,” she says.

At the same time, “Teach your child to relax and release the tension which fear produces. As well as being physically healthy and enjoyable, exercise is the universal antidote for high anxiety.”

MONITOR

LISTEN The most important thing you can do is to listen to their concerns and validate their fears. Don’t simply brush them off with a “There’s nothing to worry about.” As Shane Warren, a counsellor based in Sydney, says, “Never discourage your children from talking about the fears they may be having, nor create fears by pushing conversation onto them that they are not ready for. The secret here is to listen. The words and actions of your children will tell you what they are feeling and what support they need.”

TALK—TRUTHFULLY Dr Steven Rosenberg, a psychotherapist based in Philadelphia, USA, warns that children will be more worried if they think you are too afraid to explain what’s happening. “It’s important to tell

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children that the threat of terrorism is real,” he says, but reassure them the chances an attack will happen to them are very low.

TALK SOME MORE “By creating a safe place to ask questions and to talk about what is happening, you minimise the risk of terror anxiety developing,” says Shane. “Anxiety is a future fear belief—we are not anxious about what is happening before us, but rather, anxious [that what we] are experiencing now will affect our future. To help minimise this, answer questions here and now. Normalise the feeling of fear, sadness or apprehension so that you can talk positively about the future using solid facts about your past experiences.”

MODEL “Children take their emotional cues from the adults around them,” says Steven. “Avoid appearing anxious or frightened. Reassure children they are safe. Remind them that emergency workers, police, firefighters, doctors and the government are in charge. All is good and we are safe.”

CONTINUE SCHOOL While there may be times when we’d be tempted to keep our children at home, ask yourself if it is truly necessary. Steven believes schools can be good places for children to feel secure and being with their teachers can be helpful. Just make sure you keep the lines of communication open between home and school.

ROGOTANIE—ISTOCK

For older children, it may be impossible to avoid their exposure to world events—and you don’t necessarily want them to live in a bubble. It helps to turn the television off sometimes. Especially important is their use of social media, where there may not be age-appropriate filters in place.

REAFFIRM Keep telling your children that they are safe. These messages may need to be conveyed differently depending on your child’s age. As Steven advises, “For early primary children, provide simple information. Reassure them that they are safe. For upper primary

children, answer their questions. Assist them in separating reality from fantasy. For high school kids, validate their opinions. Provide them with the facts that they are safe.”

EXPRESS “Children can defeat anything scary in their imagination and this will help them if they face their fear in real-life,” says Janet.

Read relevant stories with your children where you can discuss with them how the protagonists cope with or overcome fear. You can also encourage them to draw. “Children can both express and ‘boss’ their fears through their power over them in depicting them in visual form,” says Janet.

For more information, check out www.psychology.org.au/psychology-topics/talking-to-children-about-terrorism

BONUS

What did our show's panellists think about the topic?

FIND OUT AT http://bit.ly/TerrorismTableTV

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First-time parents often have to tread through a whole new world of unknown, but sometimes, what we really need is simply the courage to trust our instincts.

By Suvi Mahonen

PARENTING pains 8

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PEOPLEIMAGES.COM—ISTOCK

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o be a parent is to expect the unexpected—you hear that all the time. But no-one tells you that raising children is like living on a fault line. You can stock an emergency survival kit and write out a plan for when the earthquake hits, but the moment the ground actually shakes will still catch you off guard. And it wasn’t until I was in the paediatric intensive care unit, cradling my critically ill toddler, that I realised I should have seen the signs.

It began as a cold like any other ordinary cold: first the telltale sneezing, then the runny nose. It was something I’d become well accustomed to ever since she started attending daycare, and I did what I had always done to ease her symptoms. I fed her buttered toast soldiers with the crusts cut off along with warm apple sauce and spoonfuls of lactose-free yoghurt. I kept her warm and dressed her in extra layers and vigilantly gave her carefully measured doses of paracetamol whenever her temperature rose above 37.5°C. But her cold didn’t improve. She lost her appetite, grew listless and, most worryingly, her voice began to sound muffled, like she had marbles in her mouth. When her fever spiked at 40°C, I panicked and rushed her to hospital.

It was a busy Monday night and we had to wait a couple of hours. When the paediatric doctor finally got to us, he took a quick look in her ears and mouth and said she just had a viral sore throat. She didn’t even need antibiotics.

My first reaction was relief—she isn’t going to die. My second reaction was doubt: Is it really just a viral sore throat? Sure, her tonsils were inflamed. But I’d never seen her this sick. I looked down at my daughter again. Pasty lips, drooling mouth. And I wondered what made the doctor so sure.

Nevertheless, I took her home, and whenever her fever spiked, whenever she didn’t eat, whenever she’d only take half a mouthful of water, whenever she’d start drooling, I’d reassure myself that she only had a viral sore throat and she would get better soon.

This was a decision I came to bitterly regret when, four days later, I found myself back in the emergency room, listening to an ear, nose and throat specialist explain to me that my daughter had a large, life-threatening neck abscess that had to be drained immediately. It needed to be done while she was still able to breathe, and there was a risk of damage to her facial nerves, which could result in permanent facial paralysis and speech impairment.

Have you ever wanted to run away from a fearful situation

but you knew you couldn’t? That was pretty much how I felt as I restrained my two-year-old daughter while the anaesthetist put her to sleep. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do since becoming a mum, and the hurt I felt at seeing her suffer was more than just emotional; it was physical.

My hand, which was pressing her little forehead down on the operating table, shook, while my other hand, which was clutching her struggling wrists, was so sweaty she almost slipped from my grasp. There was a hot, sharp pain in my throat, and my tongue seemed to stick to my teeth as I told her I loved her and that everything would be OK. Guilt and worry squeezed my heart: Why is this taking so long? If only I’d acted sooner. What if the scalpel slips?

Sounds of metal and electronic beeping and the gas mask hissing filled the operating room, but my ears managed to hear only her screams. Then, finally, my vision blurred as the sedative flowed into her tiny veins, and I witnessed the moment her struggling stopped. But I could still see the terror in her eyes.

I can’t recall everything that happened from moment to moment while my daughter was in hospital, but I can measure our time in events: sitting silently in the corner of the waiting room, trying not to cry as I imagined the scalpel blade piercing her throat; seeing her intubated and unconscious in the paediatric intensive care unit, lines running from her body like a spiderweb; then, after she was awake and the tube from the surgery had been removed from her nose, uttering useless words of comfort while she screamed as they wrapped her tightly in a blanket (effectively a straitjacket) so they could force a feeding tube down her nose.

The six days we spent afterwards in the children’s ward blended into a haze of nurses’ checks, doctors’ rounds, beeping alarms, hospital food and torn out IVs. But when I look back on that week, when I try to make some sense of it all, the first thing that keeps coming to my mind is, why didn’t I trust my instincts?

It’s a thought that has tortured me. I wasn’t assertive enough.

Why didn’t I insist on a second opinion? I should have brought her back to the emergency room sooner. We could have avoided surgery if I’d demanded she be given antibiotics at our first emergency visit.

My friends tell me not to beat myself up. I’m not a doctor. I had no way of knowing that a deadly bacteria—known as Fusobacterium necroforum—had formed an abscess in my daughter’s throat. But I can’t stop the voice inside my head, softly and persistently accusing: you knew it was more than just a viral infection.

Being a parent can sometimes feel like I have the Midas touch in

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reverse: that I’m the kind of mother who has the best of intentions but everything I do turns to dust. The kind of mother who feels like an actor on stage. The kind of mother who is always unsure whether what she’s doing is correct.

When you take your child home after spending six days in hospital, the life that you left behind feels trivial. Rather than celebrating, you find yourself trying to reclaim those pieces of yourself that you lost somewhere between the operating room and the hospital’s corridors.

You constantly watch your child. You try to salvage any smidgen of self-confidence you might have as a parent and try to accept that you made a mistake. But every time you make a decision, you

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CRY IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN?

THIS ARTICLE FIRST APPEARED IN SIGNS OF THE TIMES MAGAZINE.

All better and about to leave hospital.

GEBER86—ISTOCK

Somewhere between what you think you should do and what you actually end up doing is a quiet space where our perceptions form and our intuition finds its voice.

would you...

SUPPLIED

Post-surgery.

can’t stop the gnawing thought that maybe you’ve made the wrong call.

I used to believe that raising a child was going to be the most joy-filled time of my life. And it has been for much of the time. But here’s the truth: parenting is also painful. Caring for your child— feeling their hurt when they hurt themselves and kissing their tears when their tears flow—is painful. Loving them till your heart aches is painful.

And as much as I’d like to believe there’s a formula for raising happy, healthy kids, I’ve come to realise that there’s no set of guidelines and no universal rulebook. All we can do, in the end, is learn to listen to ourselves. Because somewhere between what you think you should do and what you actually end up doing is a quiet space where our perceptions form and our intuition finds its voice.

We’re not always going to be right. But it’s our responsibility as parents to take note of that voice, to have faith in ourselves and to act according to our instincts.

My daughter is well now. The other day we were looking at the little photo booklet I made of her hospital “adventure”. We came across a picture of her on the bed with her IV snaking from her bandaged hand and a plastic bracelet circling her ankle.

She looked at me, and then she looked at the picture. For a moment, I thought she might think it was someone else. Then she smiled at me and said, “I asleep in the hospital.”

“You slept a lot,” I said and took her gently in my lap.

She sat there looking at the photos. I watched her flip to the one at the end—the one where she’s standing in the hospital corridor in front of her little red suitcase, white balloon in hand, ready to come home.

“You were very brave,” I said.

would . . .

would not . . .

JADE READ GOLD COAST, QUEENSLAND

KAREN PHILLIP SYDNEY, NEW SOUTH WALES

Being sad is just another emotion and I think it's healthy for children to see that it's normal to feel sad—even for adults.

There are many times throughout our lives when we will cry, from loss, heartbreak or disappointments. It’s my job as a parent to prepare my children for them.

My children have seen me cry many times and I have never attempted to hide it from them. Even at 18 months old, they would come to me, be close with me and touch my face or wipe my tears. It’s an incredible display of pure, instinctive human compassion and I wanted to encourage this quality in my boys: The ability to see vulnerability and to want to reach out and offer comfort.

I remember when my then four-year-old pushed me beyond my limits and I just sat on the kitchen floor and cried. He came over to me and asked why I was crying.

I explained to him that the thing he was doing made me feel sad, that it was OK to feel sad and cry sometimes, and that even adults needed to cry too.

It was an incredibly simple conversation, but I felt I had done the most amazing thing for my child. As a mother, I felt my parenting choice in that moment was the epitome of being the perfect mum (a rare feeling!).

That day, I decided I would always be open with my children about my emotions and feelings. That experience made me realise how effectively I could teach them with my own example.

After becoming a parent, I had begun experiencing mild anxiety and panic attacks, but that day, what I thought limited me as a mother became a tool to teach my children with.

We should do our best to protect our children from any emotional issue we are experiencing as a parent. Our children learn their coping skills from their parents so it is important we send the correct message. Our children are little sponges—they feel what their parents feel.

Parents are the safety net and security for their children, so when a parent is crying and appears sad, vulnerable or overwhelmed, this may affect the child detrimentally. If the child is unsure of the reason why their parent is sad, they may believe it is their fault. They may withdraw from the parent, fearful they caused this distress. This can amplify the child’s misunderstanding.

Protecting them as much as we can from their parent’s emotional distress is best. A parent should cry away from their child where possible and while some may indicate it is good for the child to witness the parents’ vulnerability, I disagree. If our sadness is due to a loss of a loved one then some emotion is fine to display to demonstrate our distress, provided we can also demonstrate how we recover and remember them fondly.

Parents are their child’s rock and sanctuary. The child will certainly learn about sadness as they grow, however, it is vital to protect the child from witnessing their much-loved parent crying or distressed.

A child needs to be taught that emotions are normal, but until around mid-adolescence, they do not see their parent as humans—they are just mum and dad.

Our children share their parents’ emotions and feelings, so be aware of what you put out as they feel it within.

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e h t as k experts

Q Is it necessary to give my child morning and afternoon snacks if they don’t ask for them? I just find it odd so many experts recommend it as I have been raised to believe snacking between meals is bad. Kathryn, via email

OUR PANEL:

HEATHER WINTER MIDWIFE SYDNEY ADVENTIST HOSPITAL

NEIL GINSBERG PAEDIATRICIAN SYDNEY ADVENTIST HOSPITAL

TRISH GUY NUTRITIONIST SANITARIUM HEALTH & WELLBEING

KAREN HOLFORD FAMILY THERAPIST HEARTWORDS

ANDREW DARON PRATT PENNINGTON KIDS' CHAPLAIN GP SEVENTH-DAY SANCTUARY LIFESTYLE ADVENTIST CHURCH CLINIC

PETER WOOD OBSTETRICIANGYNAECOLOGIST SYDNEY ADVENTIST HOSPITAL

If your child is growing and thriving, then it’s unlikely that providing foods or drinks when they aren’t hungry is either necessary or helpful. Children are very good at determining when they are hungry and satisfied, and it would be great if we as adults maintained those hunger cues as well!

However, if your child is indicating that they are hungry, they may be having a growth spurt. So it’s important we provide them the nourishment their growing bodies need, whether that be at a meal or somewhere in between.

Not all snacks are created equal. Today, up to 40 per cent of a child’s total energy intake comes from discretionary foods and drinks—think soft drinks, cakes, biscuits, lollies and crisps. Many of these foods are eaten as snacks, and so from one perspective, avoiding this kind of snacking is good. But fruit, vegetable sticks, nut spreads, hummus, wholegrain crackers, fruit loaf and yoghurt can serve as nutrient-rich, tasty and convenient snacks for our little ones.

My advice is that rather than think of snacking as “bad”, it’s more important to focus on ensuring a range of nutritious and tasty foods are available, whether that be at traditional meal times or in between.

Also, building a positive relationship with food that considers how it is good for our body, mind and heart starts with our kids too.

Focusing on teaching little ones rigid rules over whether something is good or bad, may in the end have the opposite effect on what we would like our kids to eat. —Trish

Death is one of the hardest concepts to explain to children, especially when you are emotional as well from having to say goodbye to a loved one. Despite the fact that death is all around them, children, especially toddlers, will not understand its permanence and that it happens to everyone and is inevitable.

In saying this, it is important to address your toddler’s questions openly and honestly by giving brief and simple answers. Avoid using euphemisms such as “passed on” or is “sleeping” as this will confuse them further.

It is probably better to address concepts honestly using simple terms such as “Her body stopped working” or “She was very old”.

Children will ask lots of “Why?” questions and these need to be acknowledged. It’s also important that you express your own feelings and emotions about the recent loss as your child will be acutely aware that you and others are upset.

Be prepared for a variety of reactions and often regressions in behaviours and routines (such as bed-wetting, a change in sleep and eating habits, or the way they speak).

Help a toddler express and address their feelings and questions by reading stories about children whose pets or grandpar-

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ents die, and allowing free play. These are two of the best ways to help the child process what is happening around them.

Reassure the child they are loved by all in the family and that you are there for them. Maintain their daily routines as these provide security for the child. It is also good to help the child memorialise the person, using flowers, drawing pictures or acknowledging how special the person was.

Every child will process death differently. The best thing you can do is be present and journey alongside the child. —Daron

PATAT, MARIUSZBLACH, EUROBANKS—ISTOCK, ALISON MARRAS, TANALEE YOUNGBLOOD—UNSPLASH

Q How do I explain the concept of death to my toddler? Dianne, via email

Q Is there anything I can do to prevent dementia? Jasmine, via email Sadly, there is no known cure for dementia, but currently a lot of research dollars are being invested in looking for better solutions.

Obesity, diabetes and high blood pressure, as well as depression, smoking and head trauma, are all associated with an increased risk of dementia.

Not surprisingly then that a 2015 Finnish study demonstrated that reducing the risk of developing any of those diseases, as well as lifestyle practices, are important in the prevention of dementia.

There is some recent case-based evidence published by Dr Dale Bredenson and colleagues in the USA showing reversal in some situations of cognitive decline following a comprehensive lifestyle and sup-

plement protocol. Clearly this is exciting preliminary evidence that cognitive decline may be halted, and at least partially reversed, but the evidence is very much in the early stage.

The take home message is that prevention is better than cure and healthy lifestyle practices are likely to assist prevention of dementia. These include: • Not smoking • Eating a healthy plant-based diet • Regular exercise • Regular engagement in social activities • Regular mental stimulation • Keeping weight under control • Keeping blood pressure under control • Keeping blood sugar under control Check out www.yourbrainmatters.org.au for ways to maximise your brain health. —Andrew

SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION TO OUR PANEL OF EXPERTS Write to us at: editorial@ thetabletv.com THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IS GENERAL IN NATURE AND DOES NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT YOUR PERSONAL SITUATION. YOU SHOULD CONSIDER WHETHER THE INFORMATION IS APPROPRIATE TO YOUR NEEDS, AND WHERE APPROPRIATE, SEEK PROFESSIONAL ADVICE.

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PICTURE

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I

SUPPLIED

How Althea Mason (pictured left) went from being an ordinary Kiwi girl to a mum of some 50 orphans in Thailand.

was born in New Zealand and lived there for the first five years of my life. We then moved to New South Wales, Australia, for four years, where I attended primary school. Due to my father’s work, we moved to the United Kingdom when I was nine, returning to Australia when I was 14.

I attended seven schools in eight years but completed high school back in the

town we first moved to in Australia. At university, I started studying to be a primary teacher but switched courses and graduated with a diploma of applied science in nursing.

As a little girl, I loved to play “mummies and daddies” with dolls.

My ambition in life was to grow up and be a mum. I picked out my future children’s names for when I had a family and used to tell my mother I wanted to work in an orphanage one day.

My parents moved back to the United Kingdom for a five-year period when I was 25 years old and I visited them for Christmas one year. That Christmas Eve, a drunk driver hit the brick fence

of my parents’ house. A young man named Mark came to fix the fence and I brought him a cup of tea. He asked me out to dinner and two years later, we were married.

Mark and I lived in England for the first three years of our marriage before moving to Australia, where we lived for the next 18 years. During that time, we discovered—devastatingly—that we could not have children. I went through a grieving process and hoped that my dream of working in an orphanage would come true.

A guest speaker from an aid agency, International Children’s Care Australia (ICC Australia), gave a presentation at my church one day. He spoke passionately about the desperate circumstances many children found themselves in and his stories and photos touched my heart. After the presentation, I asked him how I could become involved with ICC Australia. He suggested Mark and I join a medical and building mission trip to Cambodia and Thailand, which was planned in a few months’ time. Once we had been on the trip, we would have our own experiences and photos to talk about and we could then be ambassadors for ICC Australia, helping to raise funds and find sponsorships for children.

Mark and I agreed to go on the mission trip and I looked forward to it with keen anticipation. We first visited Cambodia and walked on the rubbish dumps where both the young and the old were scavenging for anything recyclable. It was amid the rubbish and the stench that I said to Mark, “If we go home from this trip unchanged, then that is the worst thing that could happen to us.”

From visiting poor villages and the rubbish dumps of Cambodia, to visiting the poverty-stricken villages in Northern Thailand, assisting in building a boys’ dormitory in the town of Phrao and then conducting medical checks at Kirsten Jade Rescue Centre (KJRC), an ICC Australia orphanage outside the city of Chiang Mai, the mission trip was a life-changing experience.

We both fell in love with the children at KJRC and, for the next five years, we visited them twice a year and formed ongoing friendships through sponsorships. We chose to visit them in the middle of the year and every Christmas. It was such a joy to be able to organise special Christmas programs and gifts for the children.

I spoke often to church groups, school groups and other gatherings, of how we walked on the rubbish dumps and witnessed the raw poverty of village life that drove us to make a difference. I couldn’t change the world but I could endeavour to make a difference in some children’s lives. The stories we told and the photos we showed encouraged others to donate and sponsor children, helping to improve the old and rundown buildings at KJRC and fix broken or outdated equipment.

In June 2014, having just returned from Thailand, I received a phone call from ICC Australia, asking if I would consider becoming the new administrator for KJRC. At that moment my heart seemed to momentarily stop and then jump at the possibility of my longterm dream coming true. Of course, I had to discuss this offer with my husband, but my mind was already running away with ideas.

Following a prayerful discussion and opening the Bible to Psalm 113:7, 9: “He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap . . . he settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children”, the answer was a resounding yes.

We sold our home, packed our belongings, gave away a lot, took

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too much with us and traded my $80,000-a-year salary for $6000.

I gave up a Monday-to-Friday job for a seven-day-a-week position that often was 24/7. I exchanged job security and comfort for smiles, hugs, laughter and the sound of all the children calling me “Mummy” every day!

When I first arrived at KJRC, the gardens were 90 per cent weeds, the fruit trees were not bearing much fruit and it appeared that maintenance had been neglected due to lack of funds. It was hard to know where to start. We weeded the gardens and planted soya beans to enrich the soil and started composting and mulching.

I learned it was better to teach by example, especially when you don’t speak the language. Slowly we saw staff and children composting and mulching the gardens as well. Today, we can pick vegetables for meals and the fruit trees are starting to bear more fruit. There is still much more we can and will do, but I have learned to be patient and that improvements are an ongoing process, a journey that does not have an end, but rather, with many new beginnings along the way.

When I arrived at KJRC, I found many of the children suffered from headaches and stomach aches. I believed the headaches were due to dehydration and the stomach aches from drinking dirty water (there was no access to clean, cold water) and constipation. So we installed a cold, filtered water fountain, donated by the generosity of others. We also introduced brown rice to their meals, which has improved the many complaints of constipation, and thanks to an increase in donations, were able to add fruit to our weekly market purchase (the fruit trees we have do not provide enough regular fruit for 50 children).

The KJRC budget is solely reliant on donations and sponsorships. Child sponsorships cover the day-to-day running costs, while donations allow for improvements and changes. My future plan is to enable us to become more self-sufficient. I hope to one day buy land nearby and build a house or cafe on it to provide a halfway house for children who have become too old to be sponsored, but due to their tragic past, find it difficult to live independently as adults.

Also, if a child leaves KJRC, gets a job but has to leave or is fired, or goes to university but drops out, or attends vocational training but fails to gain employment, they will at least have a home to

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SUPPLIED

I exchanged job security and comfort for smiles, hugs [and] laughter. come back to. This home would be a safe haven, a step towards independence by being separate from KJRC. Otherwise, these children risk having their vulnerability exploited.

KJRC melts my heart. The children just need love, care and nurturing. That doesn’t mean it is always easy. In fact I often shed tears at the responsibility, frustrations and the heartlessness of some people. The heat and the language often get me down, but the smiles and laughter, the beautiful singing every day, the cuddles and the children calling me “Mummy” remind me of the big picture—them.

WIN

WIN CHILDREN'S BOOKS!

Submit a personal story on your parenting journey, thoughts or experience and if we use your story, we’ll send you a selection of books featured on our book corner page (see page 32)! Write to us at editorial@thetabletv.com

WINE

F FIVE ONE O L

DOUB S PASSE

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Enter at www.tabletv.com/MaryMagdaleneGiveaway (Australia only, sorry).

Giveaway ends March 31, 2018.

C

Witnessing a bloody civil war gave Jacqui Joseph the determination to campaign against violence.

By Melody Tan

SILENT

Jacqui Joseph, CEO and co-founder of Equal Playing Field, with her award, recognising her efforts to prevent violence against women.

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no longer

owering in the darkness of her home, she tried to block out the noise from the persistent popping of gunshots, far enough away not to be of immediate concern, but close enough to cause her family to be wary. It was just another typical evening in Jacqui Joseph’s childhood—the silver lining was that it wasn’t her village the raskols (criminal gangs) were terrorising that night.

Jacqui grew up in Bougainville, Papua New Guinea, during the region’s devastating 10-year civil war. What started in 1988 as violence between local Bougainvilleans and migrant workers at the largest open cut mine in the world, ended as the greatest conflict in Oceania since World War II, with an estimated 15,000 to 20,000 Bougainvilleans dead.

Listening to gunshots, seeing people who were injured and witnessing violence on a daily basis was an inescapable part of her young life—and as it turned out, would shape the rest of it. “[Observing violence] made me think it was not OK and I should do something to prevent anything like that from happening,” says Jacqui. “I was taught some really good principles and values at an early age. I especially remember attending [church] and having some really great teachers. Having parents who reinforced these values also had a big role in shaping my perception of life.”

That “something” turned out to be Equal Playing Field (EPF), a not-for-profit organisation that primarily works in schools to prevent violence against women through promoting gender equality.

Such is the success of the program, Jacqui has won a bevvy of awards since co-founding EPF in 2013 (with Australian community and international development specialist, Adam Everill), including a 2016 Westpac Outstanding Women Award (Young Achievers category) and the 2017 Commonwealth Pacific Young Person of the Year.

“Equal Playing Field is founded on the belief that violence against women is preventable,” says Jacqui. “Open and honest discussions about respectful relationships and gender equality during adolescence have the power to change attitudes that allow gender violence to occur.”

Global estimates by the World Health Organization indicate that about one in three women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime. Gender violence in Papua New Guinea, however, is a far more widespread problem. According to The Guardian, reports have estimated that 60 per cent of men had participated in gang rape at least once, while in certain Highland provinces the rate of violence against women was 100 per cent.

Every. Single. Woman.

When I asked Jacqui if she knew of anybody who has been a victim of violence, she struggled for an answer, not because she couldn’t think of one, but because “almost everybody I know has been a victim of violence”.

Jacqui and her family moved to Port Moresby in 1994, where she is still living today. It was while studying for her political science degree at the University of Papua New Guinea that Jacqui decided she wasn’t going to go down the traditional path of a nine-to-five office job after graduating.

She worked for a number of years with the Asian Development

March 2018

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19

AT THE AT THE

Equal Playing Field also runs in government schools, educating high school-aged students on how to have healthy, safe and respectful relationships, all delivered with the help of sports comparisons.

REAL

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How a

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CAN SURVCER conq IVOR uered th e wo rld

MONTHLY COPY!

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TALKIN G TO

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TH TRAVE ISSU EL E

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In speaking up against the issue, Jacqui, through EPF, has worked with more than 3000 young people in Papua New Guinea.

Her marker for success is the 83 per cent of students who have committed to making a change in their communities and schools to address gender equality issues.

“These programs have fostered frank and open discussions and proven to be an effective model of working with young people to prevent violence against women and children,” Jacqui says. “But more importantly, we have seen how the attitudes and behaviours that allow violence against women and girls to occur, have been changing and contributing to the building of stronger, safer, happier communities in Papua New Guinea. For the first time, I am seeing children at an early age begin to question and challenge social norms on the value of women. For the first time, I see an emphasis on respect in relationships.

“There is a gentle wave of change when it comes to gender violence, but we are probably still a long way off from a lasting solution.” As Jacqui admits, there is more help available to victims of violence, which while is good news, also indicates that “more and more people are becoming affected, [which is why] the number and the different types of services that are available are growing as well”.

In a country where women have to fight doubly hard for gender equality, Jacqui is trying to change the very fabric of society.

“Gender equality questions the values and expectations of a society and this is challenging because this may be deemed as breaking the foundation of what a society is built on,” she says, a sense of determination in her voice.

But it’s a fight she’s not prepared to give up and one in which she believes we can all be a part of. “Everyday people are change agents. Every act and decision made in the way a young woman is treated adds to preventing gender-based violence. If love can be seen as a principle, and be applied to everything, I believe we can see some great changes.”

EN | REAL CONV ERSA REAL T IO N WOM S |R EN | E A L IS REAL SUES CON VERS A T IO NS | REAL

ENCO CREA URAGE T

F RE E* Bank and pursued her interest in community work, running workshops and training as a youth entrepreneur.

A chance meeting with Adam led to the formation of EPF, a schools-based sports development program. Jacqui, who admits to not being into sports prior to the founding of EPF, has successfully integrated sporting concepts and terminology into EPF’s programs to explain the importance of respectful relationships to young people.

“I believe attitudes that allow for violence against women come down to gender inequality, where there are unequal rights between men and women,” she says. “We believe that working with adolescents, teaching them ways to respect each other through sports, [will help] to prevent attitudes that allow for violence against women to occur.”

EPF’s largest program, Equal Playing Field for Schools, is an eightweek program that mainly runs in government schools in the country. For almost two hours a week, EPF staff and volunteers educate students aged between 12 and 15 on how to have healthy, safe and respectful relationships, and that men and women are equal, all delivered with the help of sports comparisons, such as the characteristics of a good sporting team and how to identify boundaries.

“It’s also about letting them know they have a support network and people they can get help from and getting young people to challenge social norms that allow violence against women to occur,” says Jacqui. “We are challenging the views of masculinity that society portrays for young boys, that masculinity can be [portrayed] in a way that respects women.”

Jacqui firmly believes culture is the main driving force for (or against) gender equality. Gender violence, Jacqui says, has been allowed to grow to epidemic proportions in Papua New Guinea because “people have not been doing anything about it, people have just been ignorant about it or people have said, ‘That’s a cultural thing or family matter.’ A lot of silence has been there that has been allowed to grow.”

WOM

i d n Ma

AS SEEN ON

MAGNESIUM DEODORANT INGREDIENTS ½ cup distilled water* ½ cup magnesium chloride flakes 10–15 drops essential oil in your favourite scent

MAKES

METHOD 1.

2.

3.

NOURISHING SHAVING CREAM INGREDIENTS 2 tbsp unrefined organic shea butter ¼ cup coconut oil ¼ cup organic castile liquid soap 2 tsp sodium bicarbonate 5 drops geranium essential oil

METHOD 1.

ITEMS STYLED AND PHOTOGRAPHED BY ANDREW JOHNSON

2.

22

3.

4.

THETABLETV.COM

March 2018

NEW ZEALAND

Double-boil shea butter and coconut oil on low until melted and runny.

Transfer mixture into a glass mixing bowl and add the rest of the ingredients.

Using a hand blender, blend until soft and fluffy.

Store in a dark glass jar with a wide neck. Use as you would any other shaving cream.

4.

Boil the distilled water.

Dissolve magnesium chloride flakes in boiling distilled water, stirring well until completely dissolved. Allow to cool.

Pour the mixture into a glass spray bottle and add essential oils.

To use, spray a small amount on underarms and rub in gently. Allow to dry for about five seconds.

* Distilled water extends the shelf life of the product (at least six months at room temperature).

PAVEMENT CHALK PAINT INGREDIENTS

TOILET CLEANING BOMBS INGREDIENTS 1 cup baking soda ¼ cup citric acid ½ tsp vinegar or freshly squeezed lemon juice 1 tbsp hydrogen peroxide 15–20 drops lavender, lemon, rosemary or peppermint essential oil

½ cup cornstarch 2 /³ cup water Food colouring in your favourite shades

METHOD 1. Mix cornstarch and water, stirring until cornstarch dissolves.

2. Divide the mixture into the wells of a muffin tin or a painting tray and add food colouring to achieve desired tones and brightness (colours will dry lighter than they appear in the tin).

METHOD 1. Add baking soda to a mixing bowl and use a fork or whisk to break up any clumps.

2. Stir in citric acid. Set aside.

3. In a small glass bowl, mix vinegar and hydrogen peroxide.

4. Slowly and drop by drop, add the mixture to the baking soda.

5. Gently mix in essential oil.

6. Scoop the mixture into silicon moulds, pressing in gently with your fingers. Don’t fill them completely as they will expand.

Allow to dry for at least six hours or overnight.

7. To use, drop one bomb into the toilet, wait for the fizzing to stop, flush and you’re done!

MANDI Good for your skin and great for the environment.

Watch Mandi make these earth-friendly natural recipes on the At The Table TV show.

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23

EXERCISEwith Alisha GIVEAWAY

A

fter working with women for several years, I have learned that it’s not only food habits that are essential for helping women reach their goals, but mindset habits and self-perception are even more important. Whatever self-talk you allow to repeat over and over in your head will become the beliefs you hold about yourself.

Too many of us hold negative, unkind and toxic beliefs about ourselves. One of the questions I often ask in my coaching sessions is, “If I asked you to list all the things you love, how long would it take for you to mention yourself?” It’s a sobering question.

I believe self-esteem—or self-love—comes from a place of certainty in your personal, unique, priceless value and potential (and we are all uniquely priceless and filled with enormous potential). For me, it is founded on the Bible’s description of how God views me: His precious child made for unimaginable goodness.

Once we begin to build on that 10-out-of-10 view that God has of us and start believing it ourselves, we can conquer any challenge and achieve pretty much anything. Why? Because we know our value isn’t based on our performance—it is already set

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March 2018

super high. Thus we learn to approach everything in life knowing our high value and potential.

One way to build on this positive, grounded self-perception is to find a new challenge or face a personal fear and crush it.

Last year, I met a young mum at a camp where I was running workshops, who had a dream of completing a triathlon. At the time, she hadn’t started training because she wasn’t sure she could do it. She had however, in the previous year, gone from not being able to swim to learning how to and swimming multiple laps at once!

Once we worked through some limiting beliefs she held about herself and tapped into her potential, she started to believe even before she saw any evidence she could complete the triathlon.

She was ready to set a goal and start training as soon as she went home from the camp! By the end of the week, her friends were calling her “triathlete”, a beautiful example of support and reinforcing the new belief about herself in order to achieve her goal.

So what are you waiting for? Start believing you are truly amazing and then go and pick something in which to challenge yourself and build your potential!

GRAPEIMAGES—ISTOCK

LOVE YOURSELF

aching Get a free co h Alisha it w n consultatio r Skype to via phone o n plan for actio develop an mail alisha@ E . ss re prog ing.com to unleashfitliv nsult! request a co

GRATISOGRAPHY —PEXELS, TOMMY LISBIN, ABIGAIL KEENAN, ANDY WRIGHT, BENJAMIN COMBS, KRIS ATOMIX, PAULO VIZEU, AYO OGUNSEINDE—UNSPLASH

SOME NEW THINGS TO TRY: ACTIVE PASSIONS

EXERCISE-RELATED

OTHERS

Rowing, stand-up paddle boarding, kite-surfing, skydiving, ballroom dancing, rollerskating (apparently it’s back in!), cycling, snowboarding, rockclimbing or waterskiing

10 push-ups on your toes, unassisted pull-ups, back squat 1.5 times your bodyweight, run a marathon or half-marathon, do a triathlon, enter a Tough Mudder or similar endurance challenge events

Sign up for an online cooking course, master a new skill such as sewing or gardening, face a fear you have and overcome it!

ALISHA Ten minutes every day is all you need to start on your journey to become fit and healthy. Watch Unleash Fit Living's Alisha share her workouts on the At The Table TV show.

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25

I

hit the lowest point of my parenting journey after the birth of our second son. I was struggling to manage a sleepless newborn and an emotional toddler. I felt like I was adrift in a flimsy boat without an anchor, tossed about by the waves of parenting “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts”.

We live in a swirling sea of advice and information. We are desperately trying to keep up with the 10 Things Every Parent Must Know, the 12 Mistakes New Parents Make and the 17 Habits of Highly Happy Families. But we just end up feeling confused by conflicting advice, guilty about our imperfections and afraid of damaging our children.

According to Sue Palmer, author of Toxic Childhood, this is typical: “Most parents are frantically doing their best in a world where the goal posts are not just moving—they’ve actually disappeared. . . . In a world of tumultuous change, confidence is thin on the ground. The moral and social certainties [of previous generations] have disintegrated, and there seems to be nothing to put in their place.”

When I was desperate for guidance, I reached for the ancient wisdom of my ancestors—the Bible. I was sick of the internet’s fickle fads and craving the kind of unchanging, timeless wisdom that my grandmothers gave.

I came to the Bible looking for little pieces of advice, but I found something much better. The Bible showed me a grand vision—a “big picture”—that has put life and parenthood into perspective. Its message helped me to find the clarity, confidence and courage I needed to raise the next generation.

good news FOR

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MODERN PARENTS

March 2018

Can the Bible actually provide parenting insights for harried and frantic parents, desperate to raise their children right?

By Harriet Connor

SKIP O’DONNELL—ISTOCK

WE WERE MADE FOR MORE THAN HAPPINESS Our modern world is working hard to convince us that the goal of life is happiness. We are constantly told, “Do whatever makes you happy; follow your heart.” When you ask modern parents what we want for our children, we respond in unison: “We just want them to be happy!” And so we become anxiously dependent on our children’s emotions, doing everything we can to make sure they feel perpetually happy and successful.

But there is a problem: the more we chase happiness, the less we seem to find it. In the West, rates of depression and mental illness among both adults and children have never been higher. If life is just about feeling happy, then most of us are failing badly.

But the good news of the Bible is that we and our children were created for more than happiness. The Bible’s opening chapters show that humans were made in the image of our Maker for a bigger purpose. We were created to honour God by living well in His creation and doing good to other people.

It follows that parenting is not about making our children feel happy all the time, but about helping them to live out their God-given purpose, in relationship with God, His creation and other people.

Interestingly, recent research shows that simply chasing good feelings and running away from bad ones do not actually bring long-term satisfaction. Rather, the secret to a truly happy life is connection—finding our meaning in relationship to others, and to a bigger purpose in life.

Ironically, if we stop focusing on making our children feel good and start helping them to do good in line with their purpose, we

March 2018

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God and love for other people. Loving God means acknowledging Him as our Creator and worshipping Him alone. Loving other people means committing ourselves to their good.

When our minds are spinning with too much parenting information, it helps to step back and remind ourselves of the key values that we want to shape our family.

We are not in control of our children's world, but our Father is.

WE DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE One of the major reasons that modern parenthood is so hard is that, for the first time in history, we are trying to do it alone. Many of us have moved away from our extended families and now feel isolated.

Besides the problem of distance, many of our parents are still working full-time and are not around to help during the week. Our relationships with our neighbours are also more transient and superficial than in previous generations. On a day-to-day basis, it can feel like it’s just us—mum, dad and the kids—battling against the world.

But the good news of the Bible is that we weren’t meant to do this alone. God has always called individuals to be part of a bigger community, bound together by a set of shared values. Jesus invited all people, whether young or old, married or single, to become children of God by faith. Those who do this join a new family that is characterised by love for God and other people.

As parents, it’s vital to have the support of this kind of community, especially if our own family are not nearby. We can benefit from having spiritual brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, grandmothers and grandfathers, who can encourage and support us in the challenging task of raising our children to know and live out their God-given purpose on earth.

will actually be giving them the best chance of finding genuine satisfaction in the long-run.

WE DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT

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When I started reading the Bible as a desperate modern parent, the frantic story of our little family began to sink into the strong embrace of a much bigger story. I gradually found my confusion giving way to clarity; my guilt and fear, to freedom; and my uncertainty, to the courage and confidence that comes from knowing your place in God’s big picture. And that was good news indeed!

death of His perfect Son, Jesus, and fills us with His strength to try again tomorrow. We are not in control of our children’s world, but our Father is. And He is working all things—both good and bad— for the good of His spiritual children.

When we reach the limits of our human capabilities, we can look up towards our Father in heaven and rest in His endless compassion and strength.

Experts are now urging modern parents to give up the damaging mindset of perfectionism and aim simply to be “good enough”.

Our imperfections and mistakes can become opportunities to show our children how to navigate life in this imperfect world. We can show them how to say sorry, and how to get back up and keep trying our best.

WE DON’T HAVE TO READ ALL THOSE ARTICLES

PHOTOBAC—ISTOCK

If modern pop psychology has taught us anything, it’s that “It’s all your parents’ fault!” Naturally, when we become parents, we start to worry about what our children will be telling their psychologist in 20 years’ time. We are afraid that our mistakes and imperfections will “scar” our children for life.

Parents and children were made for the purpose of honouring God, living well in His creation and doing good to others. But there is a problem: we are human. The Bible is honest about our human limitations. It acknowledges that all of us—both adults and children—are born with a tendency not to live out our God-given purpose.

Sometimes I think parenthood has brought out the worst in me. The demands and decisions are so unrelenting that it feels impossible to stay calm and get it right all the time. One of my “bad mother” moments happened when our second son had just learnt to walk. He was tottering around our yard when his three-yearold brother came along and pushed him over. I was so angry and ashamed that my own son would do such a thing I raced after our eldest . . . and pushed him back! Parenthood seems to be littered with those kinds of moments when we do and say things we deeply regret.

The Bible describes the world we live in as “fallen” or imperfect.

In this world, parents can never be perfect—we will have both a positive and negative impact on our children. It follows that human children aren’t perfect either. And here, in this fallen world, we cannot stop bad things from happening to our children. All of this can leave us feeling guilty and afraid.

But the good news of the Bible is that there is one perfect Parent: God. He invites us to stop being grown-ups for a moment and come to Him like little children. If we humbly confess our failings, God adopts us into His spiritual family. He forgives us through the

In this age of information, it’s tempting to take our parenting dilemmas straight to “Dr Google” and start clicking on an endless trail of articles. But when we do this, it’s easy to become preoccupied by the tiny details of our children’s lives and forget about what really matters. At one point, I realised I had become more concerned about how many servings of vegetables the boys were eating than whether or not they were learning to be kind!

But the good news is that in the Bible, God has established a framework of timeless values that can help us to prioritise what truly matters when it comes to raising our children.

God’s values are easy to sum up. Jesus said that all of the laws and commandments in the Bible are expressions of love—love for

WIN For your opportunity to win one of six copies of Harriet Connor's book, Big Picture Parents: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Life, tell us in 25 words or less why you need some ancient wisdom for your parenting.

Enter at www.thetabletv.com/ BigPictureParentsGiveaway (Australia and New Zealand addresses only, sorry).

Giveaway ends April 30, 2018.

March 2018

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29

COOKING with Gia & Olive

AS SEEN ON NEW ZEALAND

AVOCADO DIP PREPARATION TIME: 10 MINUTES COOKING TIME: 0 MINUTES SERVES: 2 INGREDIENTS 1 avocado 200 g tinned chickpeas Grated zest and juice from 1½ lemons ½ bunch coriander, finely chopped 1 garlic clove, minced 80–100 ml water 2 tsp olive oil 1 tsp ground cumin ¼ tsp chilli powder ¼ tsp salt pepper to taste

METHOD Blend all ingredients in a food processor until well combined.

Homemade potato chips PREPARATION TIME: 10 MINUTES COOKING TIME: 10 MINUTES SERVES: 2

2.

ITEMS STYLED AND PHOTOGRAPHED BY KEVIN PATERSON

3.

30

INGREDIENTS 2 medium-sized potatoes, washed and peeled (optional) ice water olive oil spray (optional) 2 tsp salt 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder 1 tsp Italian herbs

METHOD 1.

Cut potatoes into thin slices of around

THETABLETV.COM

March 2018

4.

FRUITY ICE-CREAM

RASPBERRY CRUMBLE

2–3 mm thick and place immediately in ice water to remove the starch.

Dry both sides of a potato slice on a kitchen towel or paper towel to

PREPARATION TIME: 10 MINUTES FREEZING TIME: OVERNIGHT SERVES: 6

PREPARATION TIME: 10 MINUTES COOKING TIME: 30 MINUTES SERVES: 10

make it easier to crisp.

Line a plate with a piece of baking paper.

Lay the potato slices, making sure they aren't touching. Spray a little olive oil (if using), then sprinkle salt, garlic powder, onion powder and Italian herbs on each slice.

Microwave on high for about 2½ minutes on one side and 2 minutes on the other, or until golden brown.

INGREDIENTS

INGREDIENTS Berry Mix 1 packet frozen raspberries 3 ripe bananas, sliced Optional: 3 tbsp maple syrup

METHOD

Crumble 1 cup almond flour (or almond meal) ²/³ cup shredded or desiccated coconut ²/³ cup quick oats 1 cup roughly chopped pecans (or other nut of choice) ½ cup coconut sugar ½ tsp Himalayan or celtic salt

2.

3.

Blend all ingredients in a highspeed blender until smooth.

(Allow fruit to thaw a little if you do not have a high-speed blender.)

Pour into an air-tight container and freeze overnight.

Remove from freezer 20 minutes before serving.

METHOD 1.

2.

3.

3 frozen bananas, chopped 1 cup frozen mangoes, chopped 1½ tsp maple syrup 1 cup coconut cream

1.

4 tbsp rice bran oil Optional: 2 tbsp maple syrup

4.

5.

Preheat oven to 180°C. Place berry mix in 23 x 33-cm dish.

Add almond flour, coconut, oats, pecans, coconut sugar and salt in a large mixing bowl, stirring to combine. Add rice bran oil and mix until evenly distributed.

Spread the crumble topping evenly over the fruit. Bake uncovered on the middle oven rack for 25–30 minutes or until the fruit is bubbling and the top is golden brown.

Allow to cool for 10 minutes before serving.

GIA & OLIVE The world's cutest sous-chef and her talented mother show us how easy it is to be healthy.

Watch how quickly Gia and Olive can make these recipes on the At The Table TV show.

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GOD'S GREAT LOVE FOR YOU Rick Warren Koorong | Zonderkidz $19.99

Beautifully illustrated in the style of retro-Walt Disney, this is a simple book (ranging between three and 10 words a page) but filled with the great promise of God’s unfailing love. The book’s presentation is likely to appeal more to young girls than boys.

MY BRIGADISTA YEAR Katherine Paterson Candlewick Press $24.99

Travel to 1960s Cuba with this exciting book about brigadistas: teenage literacy teachers. This book may just cultivate a sense of independence and adventure in your pre- or early-teen!

LOVE, HATE & OTHER FILTERS Samira Ahmed Allen & Unwin $19.99

More suited for a senior high school audience, this novel starts out like any typical American teen story.

What makes this novel striking, however, is that this quiet girl is neither white nor blonde, but Indian and Muslim. A great insight into the impacts of Islamophobia and the struggle for identity in a country where you’re the racial minority.

THETABLETV.COM

March 2018

HERE WE ARE

WIN

Oliver Jeffers HarperCollins Children’s Books $24.99

BOOK o f t

mont h

he

Eric Carle & Friends Walker Books $16.99

Incredible effort has been put into illustrating this book to charm little children, but it’s also filled with tiny details to put a smile on an adult’s face.

The book teaches children about the world, but also imparts values every parent would want their child to possess.

BARNEY AND THE SECRET OF THE FRENCH SPIES

There isn’t any real story arc in this book, which is a collection of widely varied artwork and short prose from 15 of today’s most beloved children’s book illustrators about their favourite colour. A great way to teach children about colours and maybe even inspire them to pick their own favourite—if they don’t have one already!

WIN

Jackie French Angus & Robertson $14.99

This brings to life the convict era of Australia’s history—with a difference. Award-winning author Jackie French brings a feminist twist to the way we see our past, highlighting the contribution and bravery of women and children that are often neglected in stories of old.

INDIGO BLUE Jessica Watson Lothian Children’s Book $15.99

Not a bad effort from the youngest person to sail solo non-stop and unassisted around the world. While some may scoff at the crux of the story, the various subplots are absorbing and entertaining, with a well-written and gripping narrative. A story about friendships and fitting in.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR?

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FIREFLY HOME

Jane Clarke & Britta Teckentrup Nosy Crow $24.99

WIN

Kids are encouraged to help Florence the Firefly on her journey home by flapping their hands, turning a page and wishing upon a shooting star.

A very cute book that reads as you would speak to a child, with enough interactivity to elicit some giggles.

GREGORY AND THE GRIMBOCKLE

PARVANA: A GRAPHIC NOVEL

Delightfully original, this is a novel you want your children to read.

It will capture their imagination, transport them to a fantastical world and change their perspectives on relationships and how they should treat others. It even comes with its very own orchestra soundtrack that you can download for free!

At times heart wrenching, this graphic novel, with its strong message of familial love, gives children a glimpse into what it’s like to live in Afghanistan under Taliban rule. Adapted from the animated film, it’s easy-to-read and absorbing, with a good mix of adventure and warmth.

Melanie Schubert New Wrinkle Publishing $23.65

FOR MUMS

HIGH SCHOOL

PRIMARY

PRESCHOOL

BOOK CORNER

101 GAMES TO PLAY BEFORE YOU GROW UP Quarto Group USA $17.99

Perfect if you’ve got easily bored children and have run out of ideas to entertain them. It’s a great handbook, but it can be a little difficult to find age- or number-of-players-specific games as they are categorised according to their types.

Deborah Ellis Allen & Unwin $19.99

WIN E S E H T ! !

S K O BO HOW T U O D FIN E 16 ON PAG March 2018

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BRAVE MUMS QUEEN RANIA

SOJOURNER TRUTH

1970–present

1797–1883

In a society where child abuse was often ignored and honour killings the norm, Queen Rania of Jordan was brave enough to speak up against them. This mother of four also actively advocates for women’s rights and educational developments throughout the Arab world, and is particularly vocal about the importance of cross-cultural and interfaith dialogue around the world.

Living much of her life as a slave in the United States, this mama bear’s protective instincts were awakened when her five-year-old son was illegally sold after slavery was abolished. She became one of the first black women to successfully sue a white man in court, and then went on to speak prolifically about Christianity, abolition and women’s suffrage.

IRENA SENDLER (JOLANTA) 1910–2008

HOELUN 1100s

Without his indomitable widowed mother, the famous Mongolian warrior, Genghis Khan, would not have survived past the age of 10.

Behind every successful Empire founder stands a courageous mother who would do anything to ensure the survival of her children.

Widowed and cast out by her tribe with winter coming on, her little family was destined for death. Undeterred, Hoelun scoured the Onon River, foraging for food to feed nine mouths, and thus lived Yesukhei, who would be better known as Genghis Khan as an adult.

YOU

19??–present Your body has changed irreversibly from carrying babies (in your belly and in your arms). You sacrificed your career to stay home and change nappies. You sacrificed precious time with your baby to work and provide for your family.

You kiss boo-boos away, you help them with their homework (even if you’re only just one step ahead of them), you pray for them and you would do anything in the world— and then some—just to make sure they’re OK. You’re a mum and you took an incredibly brave step when you became one.

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March 2018

FANGHONG, MICK, MOHABK, MARIUSZ KUBIK—WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Some 2500 Jewish babies and children owe their lives to Irena, who also had her own three children. As an employee of the social welfare department in Nazi-occupied Poland, she had—and took—the opportunity to smuggle Jewish children to safety, placing them with trusted families or orphanages under fake identities.