SPECIAL
SOMETHING FOR THE SISTERS SECTION
PLUS...
- WINE & FOOD FEATURES - TRAVELING WITH THE DIVA & MORE
THIS EDITION
-Home & Garden - Wine & Food - and More
Ashley King THE QUEEN BEHIND SALVATORE’S
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COVER STORY 24
july/au { TABLE OF CONTENTS }
THE QUEEN OF SALVATORE’S ASHLEY KING
42
REGULARS
REGULARS
42
FOR A GOOD CAUSE Brindle Posse Rescue
206
QUEEN OF ARTS Nicole Backus
94
WOMEN OWNED BUSINESS Marge’s Lakeside Inn
381
SOMETHING FOR THE SISTERS
112
WOMEN TO WATCH
230
CUSTOM BEAUTE
308
164
KARMA SPEAKS
316
360
IN HER OWN WORDS Katelyn Costello
117
24 84
94
12
MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE
ugust
{ TABLE OF CONTENTS }
206
REGULARS
SPECIAL FEATURES
180
WOMEN WHO INSPIRE
117
244
BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT Affaire de Chocolat
190
WOMEN BUILD
282
QUEEN OF ARTS Kalista Kassidy
202
INNER LIGHT
242
HER EDGE
HOME & GARDEN SPECIAL INSERT
FASHION & BEAUTY 58
SJ’S VILLAGE BOUTIQUE
298
SECOND LOOK STYLING
318
FASHION FORECAST
282
244
july/aug. { TABLE OF CONTENTS }
58
110
HEALTH & WELLNESS 34
CBD BEST OIL
120
MIND,BODY, SPIRIT
152
WE ARE PURE BARRE
174
PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY
288
RGH VOLUNTEERS
312
HEALTHY WOMAN
334
IN HER DEFENSE
12
332 381
32
WHEN YOUR SMILE NEEDS A MAKEOVER Dr. Gabriela Carranza is one of only two female Prosthodontists in the Greater Rochester Area. Prosthodontists are the specialists with regards to cosmetic & restorative dentistry. When not working in her private practice, Dr. Carranza is a Clinical Professor at the Eastman Institute of Oral Health, and studied dentistry for 14 years. She is the dentist that your dentist calls when they need work done. Shouldn't you do the same? CONTACT DR. CARRANZA TODAY FOR A CONSULTATION: VICTORPROSTHODONTICS.COM/CONTACT-US 6539 ANTHONY DRIVE, SUITE B, VICTOR, NY 14564 (585) 924-4180
{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }
“Once in a while you blow your own damn mind!”
T
here are just so many amazing, empowering, inspiring women to choose from just here in our hometown of Rochester, NY. This month, we had the true pleasure of being able to showcase the “Queen” of Salvatores and the Rochester Lancers, Ashley King on our cover. You won’t believe this young ladie’s story! Read all about her on page [24]. I am so excited to be able to promote a hidden gem on Irondequoit Bay...(and my hometown), Marge’s Lakeside Inn! I had never been there until just recently, but have heard it was the place to go in the summer...So Rochester Woman Online decided to take a little trip, and see what all the talk was about... We definately weren’t disappointed! Owner, Francine Beth and her beautiful mom and amazing staff made us feel right at home, and honestly my cheeks hurt from laughing so hard with them...Make sure to check them out starting on page [ ] as they celebrate 60years of doing business (and were started by a single mom!)...Then go check them out and tell them some of RWO’s Diva’s sent you...
T T
ON OUR COVER
On our cover this month we have the Director of Operations, the Queen of Salvatore’s, Ashley King. She was photographed on location at Salvatore’s Saloon, Donuts Delight, and the Salvatore’s offices by Charlene Mann Ford.
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Plus, in this month’s edition, The Brindle Posse Rides Again... Rochester Woman Online is so excited to be partnering with the Brindle Posse Rescue for an amazing event on September 18th called “Adopt the Runway”...In this month’s edition of RWO, you can read all about this very special organization rescuing LOCAL ONLY dogs who otherwise might not get a chance...Barb Yahn, founder of the non-profit, works tirelessly and selflessly to make sure our fur friends find amazing homes and their furever families... Come out Sept. 18th and help us #supportlocal or be a vendor or sponsor for this one of a kind fundraising event!
{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }
PUBLISHER EDITOR-IN CHIEF CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN PHOTOGRAPHY
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
ADVERTISING SALES SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT
Kelly Breuer Cheryl Kates-Benman Kelly Breuer Charlene Mann Ford Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell Marisa Nicodemus Paul Van Hoy II Michael Crisifulli Jim Hooper Jamie Pankow Cheryl Kates-Benman Robin DeWind Phyllis Haberer Olga Monacell Dave Jenkins Alana Cahoon Lucy Succhetti Glenna Colaprete-Hudson Lisa Wagner Judi Swanson Tammy Reese Sarah Wright Lori Nolan Becky Picone Sara Pavia Sherry Hale Sam Khalil Maricelle Mosman Larry Peshkin Denise Karma Clifford Mona Ockenden Katie Lawler-Melia Laurie Broccolo Debra Sheen Ellen Gans Kailee Salamone Katelyn Costello Christine Limuti
Esther Anderson Julia Yaw Kate wilcox-rodwell Bill Pine Randy Agness Mary Day Kalista Kassidy Lisa Schlonski Giovanna Walton Madeline Rivera
Kelly Breuer Katie Lawler-Melia The Next Design
Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2017 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.
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Today we will be launching an incredible SPECIAL HOMES &of GARDEN SECTION Rochester Woman Online filled with some incredible features, tips, and local businesses! To start us off, we have A.R. Rodger Construction...a 5th Generation Family Owned business! Formed in 1988 by Allen Rodger and his wife Lynn Robinson, Julia Roseal Yaw and her family are now taking on the family business! Read all about their inspiring story later today!
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ASHLEY KING BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY
T H E QU E E N O F SALVATORE’S AND THE LANCERS Not many of us can say we scored our dream job and career fresh out of college. It usually takes gaining years of experiences in the field. Ashley King, however, did just that. She got her first “big girl” job coming fresh out of SUNY Geneseo and is kicking ash ever since! She had a lot of things to consider at the time, as her boyfriend lived in Long Island. She did an internship in NYC, but her heart was here in Rochester because her grandparents live here. It all started from a conversation Ashley experienced with “Soccer Sam”. He was impressed with something she said, and he told her, “Hey, your pretty smart, when you graduate from college come here and I’ll hire you!” Ashley did just that. She dropped her resume off at his office and he kept his word. She was called in for an interview immediately. The young, aspiring college graduate was hired on the spot to sell T-shirts for the Rochester Lancers. The company needed a merchandise rep. Soccer Sam saw on Ashley’s resume she had a part-time stint selling t-shirts at concerts and that was all she needed to get in the door. Now 7 years later, she is the President of Business Operations for all brands!
Ashley shares: “I contribute my growth within this company and my success thus far to my ambition to learn and my drive to perfect. I am a perfectionist, plain and simple. I want to learn everything. I want to do everything, and I want to do it the best that I can. When our graphic designer left the company, I learned Photo Shop and InDesign overnight, in order to make marketing ad deadlines for locations. When our marketing director
retired, I had to learn how to negotiate ad buys on the fly. I stepped up where I was needed, learned the areas that were lacking in our organization and I filled all the gaps. As I took over more roles, I was given more responsibility. I felt I had a duty and obligation to succeed. We had 29 locations and 22 franchises all depending on me to lead their company. I never
stopped wanting to learn, wanting to do more and wanting to absorb more, in order to be the best leader, I could be for all of those people relying on me to do my job. The best piece of cliché advice I was given was to be a sponge. I learned more working in my profession than in all my schooling combined. Every experience, whether good or bad, simple or complex, is a learning opportunity. Make sure you absorb it all and never stop seeking knowledge. I also attribute my success to my loyalty and dedication. I give all I have, every day to this organization. Even staying in Rochester, when my husband had to move out of state. I am proud of the Salvatore’s Pizza name and the 41-year long story. To some it may look like just pizza, but to me it’s a company filled of many locations with career growth, and job opportunities for many Rochestarians, while also providing the community with the freshest, highest quality ingredients around, serving Rochester’s favorite food” Ashley shares she experiences new things every day in her career. It’s versatile, pizza, donuts and soccer; marketing, legal or operations. There is never a dull moment. She enjoys and thrives off the fast-paced environments, the versatility ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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“As I took over more roles, I was given more responsibility. I felt I had a duty and obligation to succeed. I never stopped wanting to learn, wanting to do more and wanting to absorb more, in order to be the best leader, I could be for all of those people relying on me to do my job. ”
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{{ COVER COVER STORY STORY }} “I am a perfectionist, plain and simple. I want to learn everything. I want to do everything, and I want to do it the best that I can.”
and challenge of her career. She never decided marketing or business operations were going to be her thing, but over the years working at this company the “Pizza Passion Bug” bit her and she is addicted to the feeling she gets doing her job. What exactly is her job? She is the President of Business Operations at both Salvatore’s and the Lancers. Her duties at Salvatore’s includes overseeing the marketing department, graphic design, legal and the franchising department, developing new locations, tracking and reporting location sales, day-to- day business operations, hosting location openings and whatever else the brand
needs. At the Lancers, she again oversees the marketing and graphic design, conducts game day productions, and serves as the game day host. She does it all. Ashley shares her favorite memory while working for Salvatore’s/The Lancers as: “At Salvatore’s, my favorite memory was opening the 1872 Café. This was the 2nd major store opening I took part in. The first one, I was the most hands on with. From negotiating the deal, helping to hire staff, menu development and design, store lay out, ordering mugs, retail, décor to also running the marketing initiatives and actually handling the accounting and books for the Café were all things
I had to oversee. The most memorable moment for me was the ribbon cutting ceremony of this location. Salvatore’s, prides itself on their success. Here’s what we didn’t tell you, Ashley Maria King is 29-years-old. She works alongside Silvio Fantauzzo, the owner’s son who is President of restaurant operations. Salvatore “Soccer Sam” Fantauzzo, owner of Salvatore’s sAYS, “I’ve been in business for 41 years. Very few people and companies are lucky enough to have someone like Ashley Maria King. Personally, I got to know her and she’s a very special person. She sacrificed the past years to support and help her ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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“The best piece of cliché advice I was given was to be a sponge. I learned more working in my profession than in all my schooling combined.”
fiancé and now husband Marek. She commuted from Erie, PA for the past 3 years while he was in medical school. She didn’t miss a beat at work, and she would leave late Friday and be back Monday if necessary. They both now live in Chili. They recently celebrated their one- year anniversary. I joked, it’s really been 3 months based on their time together. They are a special couple and they support each other’s career choices. We currently sell over 40,000 donuts per year at Donuts Delite, with the help of Ashley’s marketing. Our pubs and saloons sell tons of craft beer, including Lancers Lager which she helped negotiate with 3H brewers. She created the artwork 30
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
used on the cans. At first, several longtime franchises and team members questioned who’s this young girl? They soon learned to appreciate and respect how hard she works to help them, and their families remain successful. She handles the responsibilities of four key staff members and makes it look easy. We are ranked in the top 100 pizza companies in the country. Our sales per location are double and triple the national average thanks to her creative marketing campaigns. Sales are over 30 million. She’s helped open several new Salvatore’s locations”. In 2017, Ashley brought back the outside
Lancers. She also launched the Rochester Lady Lancers Women’s soccer team. This was awesome as it was the year which marked the 50th anniversary of the Rochester Lancers brand in our community. Ashley was very proud with the launch of the women’s team. One of the most meaningful parts of her job is being a part of the charitable work done in the companies. The company supports the Breast Cancer Coalition by using pink boxes and donating thousands of dollars every month. In honor of the Salvatore’s and Camp Good Days 40th anniversary, a $40,000 donation was made!
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“Every experience, whether
good or bad, simple or complex, is a learning opportunity. Make sure you absorb it all and never stop seeking knowledge.”
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{ COVER STORY } “One of the most meaningful parts of her job is being a part of the charitable work done in the companies.”
Ashley undergoes a struggle she lives with where she experiences anxiety. This caused a barrier in her past relationships, friendship activities and day-to-day living. She worked through this by obtaining education, using self-help techniques and finding confidence. Ashley says, “While I will never fully overcome my anxiety, I have learned to understand it and control it, so it never stops me from achieving my dreams. This career has helped me grow in having confidence as an individual. Looking back, I can’t believe how far I have come. I never imagined I would be standing in the middle of the Dome Arena at an indoor Lancers game, microphone in hand, conducting player interviews in front of thousands of people. I never saw myself leading a press conference or being part of a ribbon cutting ceremony with politicians. Responsibility and exposure to these things in my job, one day at a time has grown my confidence in myself, boosted my self esteem and self-trust and molded me into a less anxious and more vocal individual. Salvatore “Soccer Sam” is my mentor. Sam started Salvatore’s as a high school project in 1978. It grew into a successful brand that provides jobs and opportunities for thousands of people in the Rochester area over the past 41 years. Understanding his story, inspires me as a young business professional, inspires me to work hard and dream big. He has more passion and works harder than any individual I have ever met. Working under his guidance has made me the professional that I am today. His constant encouragement and drive pushed me past my personal limitations of anxiety and shyness. I admire his creativity, his endless energy, his business intellect and 34
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his pizza passion”.
that surrounds me. It is a part of me.
We wonder how does Ashley do all of this and still maintain her relationship at home?
I know that being a doctor is his dream and we are working together to make both of our dreams come true. I have the support of my parents and grandparents who never miss a Lancers game. I have the support of my boss to allow me to work remotely when needed- in fact he encourages me to take more breaks in order to spend time with my husband and family. My co-worker Kayla steps up to the plate when I am out of town and handles most of the day-to-day for the Lancers to assist me. I can balance because I have the supportive hands around me”.
Ashley tells RWO, “If you want both a successful career and strong family, you can have it. You have to give great effort towards both, but the key is to have the
In closing Ashley offers inspiration to our readers about following their dreams. She says, “Dreams are just dreams, until YOU decide to make them into something. Exercise courage and exert confidence and take action towards your passion. If you do not yet know your passion, don’t be anxious to try new things. Interests can evolve and you should explore until you find something to excite you.
support behind you. I have the support of my husband. He understands my demanding career and all that it entails. Living in another state away from each other, long hours was difficult. Late-night emails, calls and texts often interrupted “date night” and our weekends. Marek sees that my job not only supports us financially, but that this job also fulfills me. I love working and thrive off the demanding and busy atmosphere
I can look back and I think if I made different actions or different choices, certain outcomes would be different, but I believe everything happens for a reason. I would not be who I am or where I am today without all of the choices and outcomes leading up to this”. ***Salvatore’s is a pizzeria franchise in Rochester, NY that started in 1978. Today, Salvatore’s has 29 full menu locations, the historic Donuts Delite, Arthur Treacher Fish and Chips, Speedy Slice, along with pizza pubs, Garage Door and Salvatore’s saloon style concepts. Pizza outlets are also at the stadiums and the airport. Salvatore’s celebrated 41 years of business this July.
{ COVER STORY } “It’s versatile, pizza, donuts and soccer; marketing, legal or operations. There is never a dull moment.”
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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE }
BRINDLE POSSE RESCUE PHOTOS BY MICHAEL CRISAFULLI
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE’S Q & A WITH FOUNDER BARB YAHN What is your mission at Brindle Posse?
Brindle Posse Rescue is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization composed of a network of fosters and volunteers who work together to rescue local only shelter dogs primarily, help local families and by donating forward in vetting, emergency vet funds, food, flea & tick treatments. Every day, there are phone calls for dogs needing to be surrendered or pulled. Just as many need you here as in other states, look around! We specialize in the dogs no one else wants, seniors, medical, shut down. #keepitlocal At Brindle Posse, all of our dogs are 100% certified pre-loved by their amazing foster families and us, forever & ever.
How did you become involved/ establised? When did this nonprofit begin?
We originally started as primarily a husky rescue, during the era of the movie Cool Dogs we were seeing a large surrender of 42
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them. As we are now again with Game of Thrones. In 2013 one of our dropped off huskies died very unexpectedly and Mike asked if I wanted him to take the crate down. I said no, I wanted to adopt someone. I started stopping at the city shelter on my way home from work. We went to an adoption event to look at a couple of other dogs when Gryffin came in
What do you find the most challenging?
Finding skilled fosters that are willing to listen to our direction. Finding fosters in general is difficult enough but when they lack the ability to listen to direction and we have to move the dog yet again, it’s puts alot of stress on us, the dog and our finances.
What or whom influenced you to do something like this? Being a volunteer at the shelter. Seeing the looks on their faces of defeat or so stressed they won’t stop barking or to watch a senior left with a look of hopelessness. China’s story is our driving force for the medical & seniors. Please scroll down the home page to read. h t t p s : / / brindleposserescue. doodlekit.com/
Ho w w o u l d you describe yourself?
and we both immediately fell in love the brindle markings. We soon became fosters and volunteers at the shelter and saw the need they had to get these dogs out to rescues. After the next 3 dogs we took in happened to be brindle a friend made the remark Brindle Posse is riding again, thus the name of the rescue came about. We have been officially a 501c3 since 01/22/2015
Driven, rough around the edges, creative, and as an accountant, always the practical, what do we need to do to get to this point.
Are the animals open for adoption?
If so how does one get a hold of you? Yes we currently have 21 dogs in foster homes another 5 in boarding and 5 we are looking for fosters for just this week alone.
{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE } “Brindle Posse Rescue is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization composed of a network of fosters and volunteers who work together to rescue local only shelter dogs primarily, help local families and by donating forward in vetting, emergency vet funds, food, flea & tick treatments. ”
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Are the animals open for adoption?
#YouAreMoore, a business created by Luaane Moore Lickfield one of RWO’s writers, was designed with a message to remind people they are more than their circumstances, more than how people may treat them etc..
Best way is to email, brindleposse@ gmail.com
How do you think this message relates to what you do and the animals you help?
If so how does one get a hold of you? Yes we currently have 21 dogs in foster homes another 5 in boarding and 5 we are looking for fosters for just this week alone.
We, I, am unfortunately bombarded with surrender & help messages & phone calls daily, and we just can’t field them all day long, we work full time jobs.
Are you currently seeking volunteers? Not necessarily volunteers as we don’t have a physical facility, it’s fosters we always need.
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It relates very much to the dogs. They are more than their background or lack of, more than how previous owners treated or didn’t treat them, they are still worth fighting for no matter how much time they have left they deserve a furever home.
Do you have any fundraisers coming up? If so when and where?
Aug 10th we have the grand opening of Pet Supplies Plus in Chili, if you’re a card holder and come up and vote for us Aug 10th 9-1 we have a chance at winning $1000. -Aug 18th we have a vendor & craft show at Barnard Party house from 12-6 -And of course Sept 18th we have RWO’s Adopt the Runway 5-10pm Later in October we will be having our Fall Online Auction and we just got invited to Aquathon at the Webster Aqua Center as the recipient this year. Sat Oct 16th 9-12.
Can people donate supplies and if so how?
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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE } “Every day, there are phone calls for dogs needing to be surrendered or pulled. Just as many need you here as in other states, look around! We specialize in the dogs no one else wants, seniors, medical, shut down. #keepitlocal”
Can people donate supplies and if so how?
We are always in need of supplies, best way is to contact us either for pick up or drop off times and location.
What makes this different than an animal shelter?
All dogs are in a home environment for a minimum of 2 weeks so we can see their true personalities in a home setting, with kids, cats, other dogs. We get them the medical they need, we get them trainers, we move them to another 50
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home if that’s going to be better for the dog. Every dog is an individual and we try to tailor everything they need to make them successful. We’ve had dogs for years, something shelters just can’t do. And lastly what are you looking for in a “fur parent?” Ideally someone to love and understand them the way we do. We know not every home will be perfect but we look for that connection. We say the dog chooses the home, not us. We always say if we can walk out & they don’t notice
we’re leaving then we’ve done our job. 2 times the dog panicked when we left both times the dog was returned. You can reach Brindle Posse Rescue for more information at (585) 746-0058 or brindleposserescue.doodlekit.com/home
{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE } “ After the next 3 dogs we took in happened to be brindle a friend made the remark Brindle Posse is riding again, thus the name of the rescue came about.”
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Barnard Exempt Restaurant & Party House 360 Maiden Lane Rochester, NY 14616
Sunday August 18th, 2019 12pm – 6pm
And many more vendors & crafters including a Reiki healer!! Lots of Raffles, some dogs and a Food Truck, too!!
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{ FASHION FORWARD }
SJ’S SUMMER FASHIONS BY KELLY BREUER I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN FORD & MARISA NICODEMUS
IT’S NEW. IT’S YOU. IT’S SJ’S. SJ’S mission is to bring a dynamic yet timeless style for women and men. Their collection of clothing and accessories offer a sophisticated versatility, bringing confidence and splendor to their clientele. Now, Rochester Woman Online is teaming up with the fabulous fashionista’s at SJ’s to bring you incredible fashions each season! This is our summer feature that we hope you enjoy. We sure did with our amazing RWO models.
Thirty years ago in the Village of Pittsford, Dr. Shirley Joseph opened her boutique called SJ’S Accessories. It was in this first shop that Dr. Joseph discovered her beloved hobby of owning a boutique aside from her full time job as a professor of neurology at the University of Rochester. At first, SJ’S merchandise consisted of shoes, purses, leather goods and sterling silver jewelry. Through popular demand, SJ’S continued to grow and expand now ranging from women’s and men’s clothing, to exquisite jewelry and accessories. Located in the heart of the Village, SJ’S is known for providing timeless
and exclusive style for a variety of ages. Their friendly team makes the effort to get to know the customers and find pieces for them to feel confident and powerful. They proudly carry over 30 US based vendors, including local artists from the Rochester area. We invite you to come shop with us and take in the full SJ’s experience! Live locally. Shop locally. 25 South Main St., Pittsford NY 14534 | Tel (585) 248-0640 | sjsvillageboutique@gmail.com
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{ FASHION FORWARD } “Gabriela’s focus is on providing patients with the highest level of dental care available anywhere in the region. ”
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{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
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SJ’S
VILLAGE BOUTIQ
IT’S NEW IT’S YOU. IT’S SJ’S.
25 S MAIN ST. I PITTSFORD, NY 14 (585) 248-0640 I SJSVILLAGEBOUTIQ
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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }
LEMONCELLO PHOTOS BY PAUL VAN HOY II
CELEBRATING IT’S 10TH ANNIVERSARY. LEMONCELLO Italian Restaurant & Bar originated in the heart of East Rochester nestled between Pittsford, Fairport, Penfield, Brighton and Downtown Rochester. From its award worthy rustic decor, exquisite plates of Italian fusion, to the attentive staff, LEMONCELLO has been characterized to bring the culture and traditions of Southern Italy, which is the inspiration and home of your hosts.
Only at LEMONCELLO will patrons truly feel the ambience of modern day Italy and enjoy exceptional delicacies like their Rabbit Cacciatore, Butter Nut Squash with Goat Cheese, Tuscan Braised Short Ribs and Pappardelle with Venetian Duck Ragu along with other local favorite homemade Pasta and Pizza dishes.
this little piece of the Mediterranean.
Designed with plenty of room for private parties, a full bar with daily specials, an open and closed courtyard, live music and decadent desserts, there is no doubt that LEMONCELLO Italian Restaurant & Bar holds the essence of that will leave you savoring your time spent in
Italian traditions are focused on food and family. Every day with good food and a full house is a celebration. Massimo and Fausto left Italy in the Mediterranean but we brought with them the desire to share their culture and love of excellent cooking with you.
First generation Italian immigrants Massimo and Fausto Albano established Lemoncello as a place where their community in East Rochester could experience the atmosphere of an authentic Italian Bistro.
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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } “ After the next 3 dogs we took in happened to be brindle a friend made the remark Brindle Posse is riding again, thus the name of the rescue came about.”
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The two brothers worked with their father to transform the space into a restaurant that makes you feel at home while transporting you to another place. The ceilings are high, the exposed wooden beams and masonry were inspired by the Italian countryside and every detail has a story. The interior design and the inviting outdoor dining spaces at Lemoncello reflect family heritage. Customers of Lemoncello return for quality Italian cuisine every time and 88
are often surprised by changing decor and new live musical acts. The Space At Lemoncello, we welcome you to join us at our table for a beautiful meal and to stay with us for wine, cocktails and music. We have separate rooms available for reserving your event, and casual dining areas that bring you one step closer to Italy.
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Be sure to check out their new upper and lower deck outside patio newly opened this year. 37 W Commercial St, East Rochester, New York Call (585) 385-8565
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Italian Restaurant ¡ Live M
137 W Commercia East Rochester, New Y (585) 385-8 www.lemoncell
Music Venue · Cocktail Bar
al St (9.28 mi) York 14445-2151 8565 lo137.com
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MARGE’S LAKESIDE INN BY KELLY BREUER & LUCY SUCCHETTI I PHOTOS BY PAUL VAN HOY II
WITH ALMOST 60 YRS IN BUSINESS AND STARTED BY ONE STRONG LADY.
founded the property as a speak easy during the prohibition era. Like other establishments in that time period, owners became creative by brewing their own beer and serving bootlegged cocktails.
totally in awe looking at all of the old photos and history that was framed on the walls as Francine talked about her family, her grandmother, and her legacy. It truly gave me chills of what an inspiring story was behind Marge’s.
Recently Rochester Woman Online decided to visit one of Irondequoit Bay’s hidden gems; Marge’s Lakeside Inn.
Marge Beth, was no stranger to the bar business and in 1960 purchased the property now known as as Marge’s Lakeside Inn. As a family business, it was all hands on deck.
In the mid 1970’s Ron Beth took over the business from Marge. He passed away in 1986, leaving his wife and daughter Francine to carry on the family tradition. And boy have they!
I got a tour and a chance to chat with Marge Beth’s granddaughter Francine Beth, and now proud owner about all of the incredible history behind this truly amazing lakeside bar, while photographer Paul Van Hoy II was shooting the incredible views. I was
Fran, or as I called her, Marge when I first walked in (without knowing that it wasn’t really her name), was sitting up front checking ID’s before posing with her daughter for some photos with the RWO diva’s.
For close to six decades, visitors at Marge’s have enjoyed laughs, beverages and sand and fun in the sun on the beach of Lake Ontario. Diva #2 (me, Kelly Breuer) and our new Gucci Diva (Lucy Succhetti) got to enjoy what everyone has been talking about for years! The original owner, George Magin,
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I so wish we had a chance to hear her sing, because I heard she is notorious for belting out some of the oldies but goodies, but we did get to have some good laughs with these incredible ladies and their staff that night. Probably too many after Francine decided to make some drink called a Sunset something or other for me. Boy was it yummy... afterward I found out it had like 5 different types of alcohol. But hey, I have to enjoy some of the Marge’s traditions on my first time out. While the casual atmosphere and beachy vibes make Marge’s somewhere that you won’t soon forget and a Rochester hidden gem, after you walk through 96
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the back doors you soon realize exactly why everyone that comes there loves it! I truly felt like I was on a beach vacation. A Tiki bar, live music, all on the beach with sailboats and even four wheelers. Marge’s is definately a place to come enjoy time with your friends and family all while getting to view an incredible sunset. Our “Gucci Diva” Lucy says, “ Marge’s Lakeside Inn is by far the most refreshing hot spot to visit in Rochester, NY featuring a variety of drink specials, live music, tiki bar, a fire pit and a calendar of events. When we are making plans with friends all have some notion of our
ideal night out. Whether it’s the music or its attitude, we all look for that one special place that offers an atmosphere of unpretentious and approachability. When asked, the establishment must be built around the guests. It should be cozy and above all offer a night of lively entertainment. If you are looking for a place like this, Marge’s is a must. This is what I found at Marge’s. Upon entering, we were warmly greeted and made to feel welcomed. The front is a bar area where you can order a specialty drink, comfortably hang out with friends, and take notice of the collages and pictures that paint a picture of the
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{ WOMAN OWNED BUSINESS } “For over 60 years patrons have lifted their spirits, and their glasses, at Marge’s Lakeside Inn located in Rochester, NY.”
rich history that makes Marge’s what it is today. As you continue walking through it suddenly opens up to a beach scene with an incredible view of the Lake Ontario. A much sought-after beach area, a hidden little wonder in Rochester where you can literally take your shoes off and put your feet in the sand. It has a tiki bar, a fire pit and a generous stage for the live music bands that frequent the place. I watched as patrons excitedly w a n d e re d i n , grabbed their lounge chairs and eagerly waited for the band to begin. Throughout the night as we mingled, we spoke with several patrons who boasted with pride about the contagious atmosphere of laughter and fun. Patrons of Marge’s are treated like “family” and are always eager to share their memories and opinions on why they love to visit. Francine (Ron and Fran Beth’s daughter) later took us on a trip to memory lane 100
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and talked about growing up at Marge’s. She shared a lifetime of memories with beaming pride, which soon had me on their long list of loyal customers for years to come. As Francine shared
was bought by a single hard-working woman, Marge Beth, whose only thought was to create a stable foundation for her family. Marge and her son Ron ran the establishment and throughout the years forged a legacy that still runs strong today. In the mid 1970’s, Ron Beth took over the business and poured his heart in to the bar until the end in 1986. Fran and daughter Francine continue the traditions as a family and continued to build upon the reputation of an establishment that can be referred to a Rochester’s best hot spots on the water. Marge’s was by far the most enjoyable night this summer by this Diva.
her memories of the rich history, I was immediately transported to the past as I envisioned the beginning of Marge’s built on love and dedicated focus. I was surprised to learn that Marge’s
had!
RWO is planning on doing monthly LIVE feeds from Marge’s, and we are planning a Diva’s Nite in the fall so stay tuned for LOTS more to come...and LOTS MORE FUN to be
{ WOMAN OWNED BUSINESS } “Marge’s was by far the most enjoyable night this summer by this Diva. ”
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La Luna Italian Restaurant & Banquet Center for all of your event needs! Weddings, Corporate Functions, Galas, Rehearsal Dinners, Holiday Parties, Bridal/ Baby Showers.
60 Browns Race Rochester, New York Call (585) 232-5862
2nnudal
An
Sunday September 29th, 2019
At Stokoe Farms
$30 Pre-Event $35 Day of Event
Princess & Superhero Day!
Free admission to the farm for all participants to meet special guests Elsa, Anna, Merida & Spiderman!
Kids Fun Run $5 ages 12 and under
$15 for Kids Fun Run including t-shirt Free t-shirt for adult participants registered by September 1st!
Ceremony with Butterfly Release, Train, Slides, Bounce Pillow, Guest Celebrity Appearance Corn Maze, Petting Zoo, Zip Lines, Pumpkin & Apple Launcher and so much more!
Register Online At:
WWW.HEALTHYKIDNEYS.ORG Phone: 585-993-3161
Email: Julia@healthykidneys.org
{ STORY OF THIS LIFE }
STORY OF THIS LIFE BY ESTHER ANDERSON
It all started when I was in college and my friend Rebecca and I started making spoofs to music videos- Enrique to be exact. I figured out how to edit them with some crappy video editing software and we shared them on facebook and laughed our heads off. That was before we had kids… when we had all the time in the world. Fast forward several years to me attempting to put my one year old down for a nap. The struggle was real. I set up my camera on a tripod and recorded several different comedic “methods” for escaping a sleeping baby’s room (like the Ninja- doing rolls and flips to escape silently) and posted the video to social media for friends and family. Friends shared the video, family shared the video, their friends and families shared the video- and just like that the video went viral. Not long after I took a selfie video of myself trying to sleep with the baby in bed with me while she poked me in the eyes, picked my nose and tooted on my face. That video went viral quickly as well and I remember our excitement that even Ashton Kutcher shared it. I had tens of thousands of friend requests pouring in to my personal facebook 110
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account so we set up a facebook page and that, my friends, is how Story of This Life was born. Little did we know how much of a journey this channel would take us on and how it would transform into a mission. We started making more videos, sharing real life moments; being transparent about my experience with miscarriages, mommy-ing, my faith, how much I hate
relocating was starting to get complicated with a baby. We finally said “NOPE,” packed it up one more time and moved back to Rochester, NY, my home town. We bought our very first house in Chili near grandparents (and Wegmans) because… well, help (and Wegmans). Raising kids is hard, so we were learning- and we think our parents did a pretty great job raising us (*wink wink*) and they survived somehow, lol. Thad got a job with a local construction company and I popped out 2 more baby girls (I wish “popped” was an accurate description of that) and focused on Story of This Life. Ellia is now 5, Tessa 3 and Aubrie 1.
cooking and on being a very average wife. Our one year old daughter Ellia captured the hearts of people across the worlds with her comedy and compassion. Our channel exploded and within 2 years Story of This Life had over a million followers. At the time my husband Thad and I were moving all over across the country with his traveling construction company. We had racked up 21 moves in 7 years and the
Then last fall we found our dream propertya rundown 1800’s farmhouse on a property brimming with possibilities (and squirrel nests and bats and mice and… ya, you get it). Thad and I love working on projects together and I love a good remodel so we dove in excitedly. 6 months later and we still like each other but are completely exhausted, lol! We joke that we’re going to be 80 when we finally check the last thing off our to-do list and then we’re going to die. We’ve added to our family 10 chickens (Tessa named one of them “Leaf ”) 5
{ STORY OF THIS LIFE } “We love our job! We feel honored that we’ve been given a voice and we love that we can encourage other parents out there with Story of This Life.”
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5 ducks, 2 cats and a whole lot of chores for the girls (and ourselves) every day. We love how farm life has taught the kids responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t always love it; Ellia was just crying this morning while I made her scoop cat poop out of the sandbox, lol! Between interacting with our 2.5 million followers, producing videos, working with brands, filming a webisode series, reno-ing on the farm, and trying to parent simultaneously… my brother Jon (my co-creator) and I stay busy! We’re able to work from home which is awesome, although complicated since we often have a child on top of our heads throwing cheerios at our laptops. Being a social media influencer who puts our life out there for the public definitely has it’s ups and downs. I think the biggest challenge for myself is feeling the need to document every moment to share with our audience. My phone is filled with thousands of videos and pictures, 114
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so discerning which ones to share and remembering to “be in the moment” can be challenging. Sometimes we get negative feedback on how we parent- and we’ve learned to dismiss the trolls but take into consideration the well-meaning. There have been many times our followers have changed the way we think for the better! We love running into our followers everywhere we go and chatting with them about their families, connecting on a level that we wouldn’t have otherwise. Anyone who is a parent or works closely with kids knows how challenging it is... and how rewarding it is at the same time. Our goal with Story of This Life is to encourage those feeling unfit, to put smiles on faces in the midst of frustration, to cheer on the exhausted, to sympathize with and offer something to relate to and ultimately to remind our followers (and often ourselves) of the joys of parenting
when we’re in the bottom of the trenches. It’s real life and nobody said it was easy! CS Lewis said “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” We get flooded with messages from our followers and I think the most common message we get is “thank you for being real, I thought maybe I was the only one.“ And that’s become our mission- to be transparent, to be real. To show the love of Christ, because He’s as real as it gets and He can relate to and sympathize with us more than any other. And because of that, we have lots of friends from all over the world, breaking cultural boundaries. We love our job! We feel honored that we’ve been given a voice and we love that we can encourage other parents out there with Story of This Life.
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PLUS...
SPECIAL SECTION HOME & GARDEN
- A.R. RODGER CONSTRUCTION
-MORTGAGE TIPS - BROCCOLO TREE & LAWN -HILL COUNTRY CONSTUCTION
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FIFTH GENERATION CONTRACTORS.
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A.R. RODGER CONSTRUCTION BY JULIA YAW I PHOTOS BY JAMIE PANKOW
The first time I introduced my husband to my dad, my dad was working on a roof. I looked at my now husband, Doug, and shook my head: “No.” “Don’t do it.” I thought. But up the ladder he went and started helping. This isn’t going to work, I said to myself. He better not fall in love with roofing, because I certainly wouldn’t be falling in love with him if he does… Before we were married I looked at Doug and told him I would divorce him if he ever quit his job and joined the family business. Two days after the return from our honeymoon, Doug had quit his job, and he was pursuing a career… with a family business; my families business; A . R . Ro d g e r Construction. I married a roofer. I still roll my eyes and sigh as I think about it. Twelve years later, we are still not divorced and he still hasn’t come to his senses, but I have come to mine. I have accepted the fact that he loves this business, and I have come to terms that I really do love it, too. A.R. Rodger Construction was formed in 1988 by my mom, Lynne Robinson and my dad, Allen Rodger. You will 118
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read more about the fifth generation business we started from in the middle article, but for now, I will start with my dad. Allen, my dad, had worked for and with my grandfather and uncles for years prior to my existence. He had tested the waters with his own business, completing projects on the side under A.R. Rodger Construction, and then by the time I was three, he decided to leave the Robinson business and officially
pursue his own, full-time. At that time, both of my parents were diagnosed with medical conditions that would require an increase in their financial situation and the flexibility they needed. I remember the planning, all the work… and even the arguments between my parents as they pursued this expansion and business venture together. My parents were a great team- a true force to be
reckoned with. My mom was business savvy and could envision the impossible; my dad could construct those dreams, and make it a reality- he was and still is a true specialist in the trades. I remember my mom helping my dad on job¬sites. It was a normal sight to see her carrying shingles up the ladders in her high heels. I’m not condoning it, but don’t try to argue with a woman who loves her shoes. “I need to be ready for anyone to show up at anytime…” she would say. “You never know what kind of opportunity will present itself to you.” My mom was right, and yes she still wears her heels to this day… My mom always woke up early to prepare meals for the crews and I would always help her clean and organize the work vehicles. I remember being on any and every job I could be on because my parents prioritized me. They not only wanted to spend time with me, but they wanted to give me the experience. I remember the days, stopping to measure a job for an estimate; while my dad was busy with that, my mom would be sure to make her way to the neighbor’s house to introduce herself and hand them a business card. They contracted many jobs that way. My parents both functioned better on a high-demanding, stressful workload. They absolutely loved the idea
{ COVER STORY } ““I need to be ready for anyone to show up at anytime… You never know what kind of opportunity will present itself to you.”
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{ COVER STORY } “I never want someone to see me and think that they’re beneath me or not feel comfortable here. Everyone’s welcome and I’ll make sure they feel that way.”
of the American dream- owning their own business and helping other people fulfill theirs by the work they provided. My parents are the most generous people I have ever met. For years, I couldn’t understand why my mom would dress to the nines and why my dad would wear his holey roofing jeans to church. “I never want someone to see me and think that they’re beneath me or not feel comfortable here. Everyone’s welcome and I’ll make sure they feel that way.” he would say. My dad, much like my grandfather, taught me several core values. Some important ones I always refer back to are; “Even the dog deserves a hello in the morning.” Both of my parents can start a conversation with anyone— and they will take any opportunity to do so. My dad was also a farmer and truckdriver. When he taught me how to drive, I remember him saying, “You look out the windshield to the farthest point you can see and you don’t lose sight of anything in between.” This quote in particular has shaped my life. Because 122
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of my parents, I’m a dream chaser. Stare down your dream and never lose sight of it, or anything in between. “Never go the same way twice. Go to work one way, drive home another. You never know what you’ll see. My dad loves to drive. For as long as I’ve known him, he has driven around, checking on all the jobs he has completed over the
years. It gives him a great sense of pride. If my dad sees something wrong, even if it’s work he had completed 20 years earlier, he’s going to stop and make sure it’s fixed. My dad says his warranty never expires. This is how our business has been sustained. For the past 31 years, we haven’t advertised; we have survived solely on word-of-mouth referrals from our clients and a simple logo. We have
employed, we have grown, and we have constructed residential, commercial and government projects in five different states including Pennsylvania, Maryland, Rhode Island, Michigan and Connecticut. Chances are, you have seen our work on one of the restaurants, schools, supercenters or even court houses you frequent. Chances are, you would have never known it was us. In our area, my dad’s name is well known. We have thought about changing the company name several times, but we won’t fix what isn’t broken; we will only do our best to improve. Since my husband and I are the next generation to take over, I have stressed the importance of a brand. A few years ago, we rolled out our new logo, and just last month, updated it again. We also joined social media, though admittedly, we were too busy to upload much content. Find us on Facebook and Instagram @arrodgerco We are very happy to announce the release of our new website, www.arrodgerconstruction. com thanks to Seth Graham Computers and Design and partnership with Jared Quackenbush from ROC City Media
{ COVER STORY } “You look out the windshield to the farthest point you can see and you don’t lose sight of anything in between.”
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for all of our marketing needs. While sticking with Construction was never my intention, I am blessed with the legacy and opportunities this company and my parents have left me with. May I not forget to mention the several generations of contractors before them. Owning your own business is certainly not for the faint of heart, but they say if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. My friend corrected me the other day, and said “that’s not true—you’ll work harder because your passion will drive you.” This is what drives and fuels us. 124
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Somehow, I manage to help run this business and serve as the Regional Director of the Northeast Kidney Foundation, serving patients in Rochester, N.Y. and the surrounding regions. My parents drive and determination were passed through to me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It is a convenient partnership to be able to give back both ways, in order to build a better community. Today, I write this, as a proud wife, daughter and granddaughter of contractors. Fifth Generation strong, and raising the sixth. I’m sure we’ll be here to provide the services you need for many years to come. Give us a call.
A FIFTH GENERATION FAMILY BUSINESS Better living is a better future and it starts with your home, your family; even your business. At A.R. Rodger Construction, we are a family company. We are Fifth Generation contractors, owned and operated since 1988, but working in the industry for decades prior. Our office is rooted in Livingston County, but we serve all of Western New York and beyond- including out of state commercial contracts. We specialize in all areas of construction from minor and emergency repairs to your new
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build needs: • Residential • Commercial • Remodeling • Custom Contracting • Tree Services • Emergency Repairs We can take care of all facets of your project so that you don’t have to juggle multiple contractors. Whether you need a new roof, addition, windows, doors, siding, seamless gutters, insulation or ventilation, we can help. We also specialize 128
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in tree trimming and removal! We take care of your project, work neatly and clean up as if we were never there- creating an aesthetic image that will leave you satisfied with minimal disruption to your family and/or workplace. It is our goal to maintain the highest level of integrity, honesty and fairness in our relationships with our suppliers, professional associates and customers. We aim to provide the highest level of quality construction services and market fair, competitive prices for our clients.
We’re here to help make your vision a reality and build a better future- one project at a time. We know how important your home and business are, which is why we are FULLY INSURED and GUARANTEE our work beyond the average manufacturer’s warranties. Contact us today for more information. A.R. Rodger Construction- The Metal Specialists.
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THE METAL EXPERTS - CUSTOM
(585) 223.1198 I (585) 991. 9305 I ARRODGERCO@G ROOFING
SIDING
SEAMLESS GUTTER & WRAPS
WIND
M EXTERIORS & CONTRACTING
GMAIL.COM I WWW.ARRODGERCONSTRUCTION.COM
DOWS
DOORS
INTERIORS
TREE SERVICE & REMOVAL
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{ FIFTH GENERATION }
5TH GENERATIONS BY JULIA YAW & KAILEE SALAMONE I PHOTOS BY JAMIE PANKOW
I’m Kailee Salamone, (and I’m Julia Yaw). We’re writing this article together. We laugh together, we make memories together and we consult and do business together. We are cousins, but more like sisters and best friends. Running separate companies, but linked by our grandparents, we are Fifth Generation Contractors. What does it mean to be a fifth generation contractor? It means generational ties that lead to unity, one bloodline leading to multiple companies. It means years of dedication and refining. It means long road-trips solely to drive by jobs family members completed, and knowing every single one of them along the way. It means errands that turn into estimates, “while I’m here we might as well stop…” It means constant constructive criticism at family reunions…and the jokes that follow. It means commitment that runs so deep that roofing is literately in our DNA. It all began with our Great, Great, Grandfather- George Robinson. From tracing our family history we were able to locate a priceless photo of George and the crew that originally built the Jack Rabbit Rollercoaster at the Seabreeze Theme Park in Irondequoit, NY! At that time, the Jack Rabbit was the fastest rollercoaster in the world. It currently
is the forth oldest operating coaster in the world and the second oldest rollercoaster in the United States; that says something about the quality and workmanship of that crew! If you have ever been fortunate enough to take a ride on the Jack Rabbit, you can now know our great, great, grandfather had a hand in the making of a rollercoaster that has brought laughter and joy and is still standing strong 99 years later for
many more generations to come. George’s son, our Great GrandfatherFloyd SR. married Laura Berry. Like most Robinsons, Floyd Sr. was a laid-back, joke-cracking constractor. Although we hear he enjoyed the trade, with the money he received and saved from roofing, Floyd Sr. was able to buy his dream farmhouse near Watertown, NY. and finish out his days farming, and Laura was able to open
her dream restaurant named Rainbow, in Alexandria Bay. This home became the family homestead, where everyone would return for family holidays and vacations. The grandkids loved to visit, pick fruit and berries and see the animals. The grandkids (our parents, aunts and uncles) remember them fondly, and never remember Floyd Sr. or Laura raising their voice or arguing- they were the kindest, most loving people you would ever meet. Floyd Sr. and Laura had ten kids: Johnny, Jerry, Carl, Bobby, Dick, Milfred, Floyd JR (our grandfather), Gloria, Shirley, and Violet. Our Grandfather, Floyd JR Robinson, married our grandmother Shirley Zeitvogel and also had ten kids of their own. Following suit with greatgrandpa’s family, they would also have seven boys and three girls- Ronnie, Lynne, Kathy, Jerry, Valerie, Wayne, Keith, Raymond, Charles, and Marty. We aren’t sure of the year, but our Grandfather started a company with his brothers. None of them had the money, but they all had the know-how, so they found an investor and thus a very successful Rochester-based company was formed. Our grandfather’s sons, (our uncles) all started under this business and took over when our grandfather became ill, all branching out into the many companies below: ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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Robinson Roofing, Veteran Roofing, Interstate Roofing, High Tech Roofing, Universal Roofing of Rochester N.Y., Sunset Construction (Sold to another party in 2010) and A.R. Rodger Construction, formed by Lynne and her husband Allen. Grandpa was an adult onset Type 1 diabetic and experienced many complications later in life, including an amputated leg. Regardless of the situation, you would still find grandpa involved in the business end of things or 134
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even on the roof. Grandpa always defied the limits set before him. He insisted on showing up to as many jobs as possible to tell everyone how to do things and teach them. Being sick came secondary; living his life would always come first. Grandpa and Grandma Robinson were very well loved. Even with ten kids, there was always an extra plate on the dinner table. “What’s another cup of water and soup?” Grandpa would always say. Grandpa was full of jokes and tricks; famous for his one-liners which we heard
he picked up from his many years of service in the Navy. “Don’t stand there sleeping on your shovel!” “We’re not building pianos here, boys…” Our aunts and uncles said they couldn’t go anywhere in the City of Rochester without Grandpa pointing out a roof he had put on. To them, it had seemed he had done them all. We sit here and laugh as we reminisce, because we lived through this with our dads as well. Shoveling off roofs in the winter is how
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{ FIFTH GENERATION } “He insisted on showing up to as many jobs as possible to tell everyone how to do things and teach them. Being sick came secondary; living his life would always come first.”
Grandpa provided Christmas for all ten kids. Aunt Lynne says the house was always full of gifts and they never went without. There was always food on the table and the kids weren’t forced to eat what was in front of them; they could eat what they wanted if they preferred something different. There was always a pot of coffee at all times and grandpa & grandma always prepared an extra ham or turkey for the homeless at the holidays.
“Not pictured here is the owner of champion horse, Behaving Day, Floyd Robinson Sr. , aka Junior, aka, grandpa.
There is a lot to be learned from our long lineage of contractors and we sit here thinking about how much of it we still carry with us and apply to our businesses today. We are proud to be the granddaughters of such strong, confident businessmen and women; the people who literally paved the way and shaped our future.
It was always an open-door policy, and this lasted until their final days, as we recently lost our grandmother this February. We sit here and wonder in amazement as to how they did it. Grandpa was a known gambler and race horse owner. He always bragged about winning at cards and pool, but we all know his friends let him win because he had ten little mouths at home to feed… Grandpa was known to have played with some very well recognized players in his era. 136
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her and had her swim in a pond. Story has it, my grandpa got a flat tire on the way to the race. He probably got a nail in one of his tires. Damn roofers. He was more mad my dad didn’t bet enough on the horse.” –Keith Robinson Jr.
We reflect back on all the work that had been done and that we are continuing to do, knowing that because of hard work, blood, sweat, tears, sacrifice…and even betting on a dream, we can hold onto what is sacred, and know that it belongs to us and know that we will continue to pass it on. In loving memory of Floyd Junior Robinson, October 27, 1926- May 27, 2010 Love, Julia and Kailee My dad is the handsome smiling man second from the right. Behaving Day did not win a race until my grandpa got
{ FIFTH GENERATION } “There is a lot to be learned from our long lineage of contractors and we sit here thinking about how much of it we still carry with us and apply to our businesses today. ”
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{ FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS }
HIIGH COUNTRY CONSTRUCTION BY KAILEE SALAMONE I PHOTOS BY JAMIE PANKOW
Kailee Salamone, 32 years old, from Silver Springs, NY is the wife of Travis Salamone, mother of two beautiful girls- Aizlyn and Jozlyn, a wild and crazy husky puppy, and five adorable ponies. She is an advocate for kids and believes everyone has a chance at an amazing life. Her main purpose in life is for everyone to live their best life, and know the sky is the limit no matter where they end up. It may not appear to be the dream they aspire for, but it will shock you and make you realize, the biggest surprises are in fact the best! She comes from a long line of hardworking construction workers, in fact her company is the fifth generation company! I can’t say I ever imagined running a construction company, despite the fact my ENTIRE family seemed to follow that path. In fact, I turned down my fathes’, Charles Robinson, successful construction business when he decided to sell and retire during the years I was in college. I achieved my bachelor’s degree from Johnson and Wales University pursuing a career path in Food Service and Event Planning. The hospitality world was everything I wanted and that was my focus… Until I met my husband. I had big plans, was going to be a big city girl, running a trendy restaurant, planning elaborate events. I traveled the country building my resume any way possible, lived in many amazing places; Providence, Denver, Bar Harbor, Boston- determined to live anywhere but 140
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Upstate NY …Until I met my Husband! I met Travis Salamone in 2009 and it’s pretty safe to say it was love at first sight. He was the most hardworking, motivated, handsome man I had ever met. He was working in the construction industry in upstate NY. He was living the life I swore I didn’t want a part of, but soon, I found out it was everything I really dreamed of.
Shortly after we started dating he took a job running a crew, traveling the country, installing new roofs on government facilities. This is where High Country Construction slowly began… For six years my husband perfected his management and roofing skills all across the United States. He was responsible for renovation air force bases, armories, government office buildings and much more…It was a perfect start in learning and reporting the precise details that were
involved. I was fortunate enough to travel to most of the places with our youngest daughter, Aizlyn. By the time she was 3 years old she had flown on 32 different airplanes! We created many family memories and I continued to learn more about the construction industry. This is when I realized it was actually quite interesting and so much more than I thought it was before. Then along came baby number 2….
it is paying off.
Once Jozlyn was born it was nearly impossible to travel with my husband job to job and it was time to settle down and build a life in my husband’s home town Silver Springs, NY. We purchased our dream home and started the wild journey of running our own construction company. High Countr y Construction was officially established! It was a huge commitment that literally took blood, sweat, and tears, but we aren’t afraid of hard work and it is obvious
High Country Construction is a local, family owned company that is dedicated to going above and beyond on all your home improvement needs. Our company is fully insured for both residential and commercial projects. Our high quality work comes with an affordable price, we ensure the job is done right the first time. Don’t let the fear of cost scare you from making a call, we are proud to announce, we offer a great financing program with low
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monthly payments to keep your wallet a little fuller and your property looking great. Credit cards are also accepted. We work hard and get the job done fast. We promise your satisfaction is our top priority and we will leave your property looking better than when we arrived. We specialize, but are not limited to; Asphalt roofing, Steel, Steel Shingles, All rubber roofing systems, Decks- wood and composite, Siding, Interior renovations, Gutters, Windows, Painting, Landscaping, Drywall, Concrete, and much more. Our main purpose and goals are to set ourselves above the average construction company, we want to achieve greatness and let people know we care as much as they do about how their property looks. We recently became certified in stone coated steel shingles and are so thrilled to be able 144
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to offer this amazing product.
the beautiful life I am able to live!
My dreams of hospitality did not fall short. I now am a proud owner of a thriving food tuck, Grateful Flippin’ Birds, whose main purpose is to solely be grateful to the community that has made both my businesses successful. My food truck proudly plans their main events around foundations that fundraise to give back to communities and families that are in need. What I have learned most through being an entrepreneur is having the drive to run your own company comes with the ability to give back to the people who need it most. It has been nothing but an honor to provide not only solid employment, but the opportunity to raise money for organizations that mean the most to me! I am satisfied and thankful for
I am so thankful for the love and support of my amazing family…they have instilled the mindset of working hard and doing honest work. As my favorite band The Grateful Dead says, “Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.” Long story short, never get discouraged if the dream you thought you wanted turns into something completely different. I don’t think I could be any happier and as I mentioned before, 18 year old me would have rolled her eyes and laughed if you said this would be my future!
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ROOFING, DECKS, SIDING, AND MUC
CH MORE I WE OFFER FINANCING
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HILLCREST ESTATE BY KATE WILCOX-RODWELL
Before I was born my parents inherited The Hillcrest Estate, a 120-acre property set back in the woods surrounded by corn fields. We lived in the mansion in the back of the property and it was one of the coolest places to call home. The ballroom was where I learned how to dribble a basketball, roller-skate, and where my sister taught me how to dance before my first school dance. The grounds were where we gathered with friends and family and played capture the flag and had family reunions. Ever since I was a child, I had dreamed of restoring the entire mansion and raising my family there. T h e Hi l l c re s t Estate is in the town of York, NY and features a 9,500-squarefoot mansion with a ballroom and 11 bedrooms. It was built in the late 1800s during the “Country Place Era” when well-to-do families, wanting to escape the unhealthy conditions found in cities during warm weather months, sought out pristine country locations for a rural retreat. A prominent Buffalo socialite, Frances Metcalfe Wolcott, financed the building of the mansion and the
extensive landscape surrounding it, which included an in-ground pool, tennis courts (laid by A.J. Spalding), tiered terraces, and a reflecting pool. She hosted a variety of events and entertained numerous historical figures at Hillcrest. Theodore Roosevelt, Alice Roosevelt Longworth, Mark Twain, and Ethel Barrymore were
but a few of the social and literary figures who enjoyed Mrs. Wolcott’s hospitality. Another guest, Karl Bitter, was an internationally famous sculptor whose 1903 plaster molding of the Louisiana Purchase remains on display in the ballroom. The property also consists of a winding drive and the barn, carriage and caretaker’s houses. When people hear you grew up in a
large mansion that Teddy Roosevelt stayed in, some will assume you’re wealthy, it’s glamorous, or that you’re a bit out of touch. The reality of the situation was that we inherited a home and property with amazing potential and history, that had not been properly maintained for decades. Additionally, when your teenage years include mowing the lawn for ten hours every weekend, raking up leaves and sticks, and constantly cleaning and dusting your house, it’s not that “glamorous.” My father is a crop farmer, his first farm being the 60 acres of farmland at The Hillcrest Estate. My mother graduated from SUNY Geneseo and worked part-time jobs and managed the rental properties at The Hillcrest Estate. They both took active roles in taking care of my older sister, my twin brother Ben who has autism spectrum disorder, and me. It was my mom’s dream to restore the mansion and grounds to its former glory; however, my family didn’t have the resources needed to restore it, and the responsibilities of raising a child with severe developmental disabilities ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ SPECIAL FEATURE } “Before I was born my parents inherited The Hillcrest Estate, a 120-acre property set back in the woods surrounded by corn fields. We lived in the mansion in the back of the property and it was one of the coolest places to call home.”
As a family, we did what we could to maintain The Hillcrest Estate mansion and grounds. The portion of the mansion we lived in was the main living quarters, which is the insulated portion of the home, totaling about 2,500 square feet. The other portions of the home are the servants’ quarters in the back, and the ballroom and large guest bedrooms in the front that were utilized for entertaining summer guests in the early-mid 1900s. The best part about our home, to this day, is its ability to bring people together to celebrate momentous occasions. My mother hosted many weddings and events for friends and family in the ballroom beginning in the early ‘90s. The fun and joy guests would have celebrating these special occasions was amazing to be a part of. As a kid I remember dressing up in dark clothes at night and sneaking around the outside of the house to peek in the ballroom windows to catch a glimpse of the bride and groom during weddings. I also recall holding my ear up to the crack in the big chestnut doors separating the living quarters from the ballroom to try and hear the music and conversation. And the excitement that would build knowing that my mom would be bringing us a piece of wedding cake was unparalleled. I moved away from home after graduating from high school, and I attended SUNY Oswego and studied marketing. As a junior in the honors program, I took the unconventional 154
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route of making my honors thesis project the creation of a business plan for running The Hillcrest Estate as an event venue. I had known for years the only way to save the mansion was to find a way to have it generate income that could be reinvested back into the property. I received high marks on the plan and after college graduation in 2011, I went to work in Rochester in various sales and marketing roles. Shortly after I met my husband Matt in 2012, I told him all about my childhood home and that, someday, I hoped to restore it to its former glory. To my surprise, someday was only a few years away! In the summer of 2015, my parents announced their plans to move out of the mansion. Around that same time my mom had asked me to come home to help set up for an August wedding she was hosting. She said the mansion’s ballroom and terrace had never looked so beautiful and that I had to see it to believe it. That moving announcement coupled with the sheer beauty of that wedding made me realize it was now or never. I took my college business plan and expanded on it. I eliminated my negative thoughts and found ways to navigate through potential obstacles. And most importantly I stopped making excuses such as not having the time. I’m a firm believer that if you really want something, you find a way to make the time and put in the effort.
SHIFT+CONTROL {{ SPECIAL FEATURE }} “The best part about our home, to this day, is its ability to bring people together to celebrate momentous occasions.”
My husband and I spent the next three years setting the foundation for the transition of the property from my parents to us. During that time my husband went back to school for his bachelor’s degree in nursing, we got married, and we renovated the other homes on the property, the caretaker’s house, barn and carriage houses. In July of last year we sold our home in Henrietta, moved into the carriage house at The Hillcrest Estate and began renovating the mansion. By the end of August of this year, we will have restored the original reflecting pool, improved accessibility via the addition of a new ramp and accessible restroom, added a bridal lounge, and made various upgrades to the landscaping and ballroom. The Hillcrest Estate offers a unique, elegant and versatile space ideal for any occasion, and I am so excited to provide a one-of-a-kind experience to guests in such a stunning and secluded setting. The grand ballroom, picturesque grounds and outdoor terraces are now available to the public for weddings, special occasions, and community and corporate events. Our ballroom can accommodate up to 120 while a tent wedding on the terrace accommodates up to 300. My family is also excited to give back to the community through donating our venue to various causes. This year we will be donating the ballroom and grounds for two special events.
The first event celebrates the town’s bicentennial on Sept. 7 as we host a fundraising dinner for the York Town Historical Society, whose mission is to preserve and protect the history of the town for future generations. On Sept. 28 we will be partnering with ARC of Wyoming and Livingston County to host a prom for adults with disabilities, an event my autistic twin brother Ben will be able to attend. The Hillcrest Estate is not just a business for us; it’s our home where we will raise our family—our first child is due in January of 2020! Our focus over the next few years includes moving into the living quarters of the mansion, continued landscaping enhancements, and making our carriage house available as an Airbnb. Our long-term plans are to invest the revenue generated from renting out the ballroom and grounds back into the house to restore it one room at a time. This includes renovating the guest bedrooms and bathrooms above the ballroom for overnight accommodations and eventually the servants’ quarters for additional living space. Pursuing my childhood dream and owning and running this family business is not something I could do without the support of my husband, family and friends. I am thrilled to begin sharing the estate’s unique history and character with the community and our future family and cannot wait to see my vision ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ SPECIAL FEATURE } “The Hillcrest Estate offers a unique, elegant and versatile space ideal for any occasion, and I am so excited to provide a one-of-a-kind experience to guests in such a stunning and secluded setting.�
Hidden on 120 acres of forests and fields, The Hillcrest Estate is a historic mansion that provides a one-of-a-kind experience in a stunning and secluded setting. The grand ballroom, outdoor terraces and breathtaking views of the countryside create the perfect backdrop for a truly unforgettable, fun and historic event.
A W O M E N - O W N E D & F A M I LY - O P E R A T E D V E N U E
TheHillcrestEstate.com | 585.356.7164
FAMILY OWNED (THIRD GENERATION), WE’VE BEEN “GROWING” IN IRONDEQUOIT SINCE 1960. 375 COOPER RD (3.71 MI) IRONDEQUOIT, NEW YORK 14617-3037
WWW.GENRICHS.COM
KITCHEN|CUSTOM CABINETS
INTEGRA KITCHEN & BATHS
CONTACT OUR DESIGNER TODAY! EMILY SMACZNIAK 585.683.0618 EMILY@INTEGRAGROUPNY.COM 388 Mason Road, Suite 1 Fairport, NY 14450
FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK TO SEE OUR LATEST PROJECT! https://www.facebook.com/integragroupny REMODELS|ADDITIONS|SHOWER DOORS|CLOSET SYSTEMS|NEW BUILDS
{ WOMEN TO WATCH }
ROCHESTER’S WOMEN BUILD WOMEN BUILD TO BREAK GROUND ON 15TH FLOWER CITY HABITAT HOME Seeking the Power of Rochester Women to Lift Families & Community
Women Build will break ground on its 15th Flower City Habitat for Humanity (FCHH) home build on Holworthy Street in the JOSANA neighborhood. Women Build, who’s slogan is “Give a Women a Power Tool, and She Will Change the World,” is a volunteer program within FCHH that brings Rochester women together to raise funds and volunteer on the jobsite. No construction skills are necessary to participate in this year’s project. FCHH is seeking women build teams to volunteer on the jobsite shoulder-toshoulder with women and families from all walks of life – executives, business leaders, retirees, and families who have purchased or are waiting to purchase their homes through FCHH at an affordable noprofit mortgage. Just this past month, Flower City Habitat for Humanity’s 14th Women Build house was officially dedicated to its home buyer, Regina Thomas. Since 160
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1984, FCHH has partnered with almost 250 families as they earned, purchased, and moved into decent, affordable homes in the city area of Rochester. Regina is one of those “almost 250 families” and now has a stable place for her family and a safe place to launch her new childcare business. Regina’s new home, located on Child Street in the JOSANA neighborhood, is the
or contact us at RocWomenBuild@ gmail.com. ABOUT FLOWER CITY HABITAT FOR HUMANITY Flower City Habitat for Humanity (FCHH), founded in 1984, is a nondenominational Christian housing ministry dedicated to eliminating substandard and poverty housing in Rochester, NY. Since 1984, FCHH has built or renovated more than 240 homes, 90 of them within the JOSANA neighborhood. For more information, www.rochesterhabitat. org. A growing body of evidence demonstrates that improvements in the status of women and girls also drives prosperity, stability, and security of families, communities, and nations. Join us in helping to raise up the Rochester community.
90th FCHH house to be completed in that community. For further information on the FCHH Women Build program or if interested in forming or joining a team for this year’s campaign, please visit www. rochesterhabitat.org/womenbuild
Building with the Habitat for Humanity’s Women Build Committee provides the opportunity to work closely with other women, build skills and networks, and contribute to the Habitat for Humanity vision of a world where everyone has a decent place to live.
{ WOMEN TO WATCH } ““When women and girls rise, their communities and their countries rise with them.”
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{ WOMEN TO WATCH } “A safe, decent, affordable home is like a vaccine, it literally prevents disease.””
Time and again, we have seen women volunteers and women homebuyers become empowered by their Habitat for Humanity experience. EMPOWERMENT: • Empowerment is a social process that helps people gain control over their own lives; it enhances their ability to make strategic life choices where previously those options may have been denied.
use of her new, safe, clean, and energy efficient home to start her own business of providing much needed day care services in her community. PARTICPATION: CREATING A TEAM: • Teams can be comprised of any of your favorite ladies; friends, coworkers, family or neighbors. • A team leader would be designated to
Habitat provides a HAND UP, not a hand out. Families and individuals who buy a Habitat house must meet strict requirements which include; meeting savings goals, completion of homebuyer classes such as financial literacy to improve sustained selfsufficiency, put in 300+ hours of “sweat equity” on a Habitat home, and finally once they are in their home, they are responsible for paying a low interest mortgage on the home. EMPOWERED WOMEN, EMPOWER WOMEN: • A majority of the homebuyers that come through the Habitat program are female-led families, many of them single parents. • For numerous Habitat homebuyers, this is the first home that they will ever have owned, for many this is the first home owned in multiple generations of their family. • Most recently one of our homebuyers made 162
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be the liaison with the Women Build Committee and the team. FUNDRAISING: • Team members will pledge to raise or donate $200.00 each to the teams goals which is relative to the size of the team. • For every $1,000 that a team raises, they can schedule a build day for their team. • Fundraising goals can be met through any number of efforts from individual fundraising, to
collaborations with local businesses such as bar takeovers, pie sales, ugly sweater parties, can drives, trivia nights. You name it, we’ve probably seen it, and we encourage you to do what works best for your team. FACTS AND FIGURES: • Habitat International was founded in 1976. • Habitat works in nearly 1,400 communities across the U.S. and in nearly 70 countries and has helped more than 13 million people achieve strength, stability and independence through safe, decent and affordable shelter. • Flower City Habitat for Humanity was founded in 1984, and as of December 2018 has built 230 new homes. • Habitat is committed to an open-door policy and welcomes all partners who believe in our vision, regardless any distinction that might divide us. “ J O I N F LOW E R CITY HABITAT FOR HUMANITY AND THE WOMEN BUILD COMMIT TEE IN OUR MISSION TO EMPOWER THROUGH SHELTER. • Women are empowered to break the cycle of poverty right here in Rochester, one family, one home, one neighborhood at a time. • Women learn new skills, whether as home buyers or construction volunteers. • Women become part of a team. • Women make new friends. • Women make a difference in Rochester!
{ WOMEN TO WATCH } “In Rochester, where the graduation rate is at 58%, Habitat children graduate at an unprecedented 90%! �
https://www.rochesterhab
bitat.org/womenbuild.html
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ROCHESTER NY PAINTERS BY STAFF WRITER
When Bill Pine, owner of Rochester NY Painters, discusses his ability to persist and successfully serve the painting needs of Rochester and its surrounding communities, he is quick to note the importance of team and partnership in a residential and commercial painting and contracting operation that has withstood the test of time. Bill began his work in the contracting business as a painter f o r t h e Se n e c a Building Company in Geneva, New York more than 30 years ago. Working under the guidance of company owner, and his uncle, David FitzGerald, Bill initially took work with Seneca Builders to support himself while attending Hobart College. Upon graduation, an opportunity in financial planning and investments brought Bill to Rochester, New York. While Pine embraced the City – perfect in size and strong in community – and enjoyed his position, he found himself drawn back to work which relied on people and functions coming together for a common, immediate, and essential goal; to make peoples’ environments more useful, more functional, and more purposeful for
their living and working every day. Driven by this passion and understanding, Bill launched Pine’s Painting in Rochester, New York in 1997. Immediately, he distinguished himself with a strong work ethic and a professional ethos that welcomed and valued the partnerships and collaborations with other home and
business improvement professionals. With the business expanding, in 2013 Bill incorporated Rochester NY Painters; the operation that remains a source of pride for Bill and his team to this day. Bill remains grounded by principles of collaboration and community, knowing he can achieve better for his
customers by inviting the expertise of multiple professionals into the problem-solving and decision-making processes. One such collaboration is the partnership Rochester NY Painters enjoys with Susan LaRose Color & Design ((https://colordesignbysusan. com/). When color chips and painted samples on walls leave his customers dazed and confused, Bill calls on Susan and her expertise in working with clients, their spaces, and their project goals. As Susan shares, “Bill and I have been teaming up for a few years and it’s a win for everyone, especially the homeowner. Together we help homeowners save money by assisting them with good color choices and quality in the application process.” Bill and Susan know that working together they will get the ideal color scheme right the first time; saving everyone stress, money, and multiple trips to the paint store. Bill’s meticulous attention to well-crafted results supported by professional partnerships, as well as the relationships he builds and sustains with his customers are each a part of ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ RWO PAINTS THE TOWN } “Our son was graduating two weeks after we contacted Bill. He gave us an estimate that was far more reasonable than we expected. Bill’s team came in for two days and did meticulous work. We received so many compliments from family and friends the day of the party, that we will invite Bill back into our home for our next painting project. (Amy M.) ”
the relationships he builds and sustains with his customers are each a part of the “village” essential to his successful operation in a community as closeknit and connected as Rochester. To ensure his work meets the demands of each customer each time, Bill invites feedback – individually, and through a number of on-line sites (Better Business Bureau, Angie’s List, etc.) In one very lengthy post, one customer raved about their attention to detail and service, including the team’s willingness to “send photos of (the project’s) progress to us” daily when work was being completed while the customer was out of town on a family vacation. Valuing collaboration, relationships, craftmanship, and customer satisfaction, Rochester NY Painters, and Bill Pine are grateful to the Rochester community for the invitations to improve and enhance countless homes and businesses. Bill would welcome the opportunity to work with you to address your residential or commercial needs. He can be reached at www. rochesternypainters.com or by phone at (585) 329-8437.
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{ RWO PAINTS THE TOWN } “We have an older home with finicky, imperfect plaster walls that do not always paint well. They handled it all well. Would recommend for sure.” (Kathryn O’Brien)
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{ GARDENING TIPS WITH BROCCOLO }
BROCCOLO’S SUMMER ADVICE BY LAURIE BROCCOLO
Planting with a Purpose:
allow the sun to warm it up.
The trend is less is more which means less maintenance such as less lawns. Trees can protect you and your home from the hot sun & extreme winds. They can screen the view of the road, utilities and block out noise. Plant natives for the Birds, the Bees and Butterfly Gardens. Natural gardens provide seeds and need minimal trimming. Do not cut perennials in the fall and leave them for the birds
Too wet? Plant a Rain Garden with colorful perennials and shrubs to absorb the water, reduce mowing and feed the birds and butterflies.
This year the intense pounding rains broke the barrier and crabgrass seeds germinated throughout the lawns in thin areas or especially sandy
Here are examples of areas of the lawn that can eliminated and planted purposely. Do you want a green lawn in summer? Mow as high as possible with sharpened blades. This will help shade the roots, crowd out weeds and reduce drying out. Just 1/2� taller makes all the difference. Too hot? Change the climate by planting a shade tree to you and your lawn cooler. A shade tree planted on the west and south side of your house will keep it cooler and during the winter will 174
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Crabgrass is a problem this year due to the heavy storms. The pre-emergent is applied and creates a barrier to stop the seeds from germinating. It is common to get weeds along the edges of your driveway or road because the barrier is broken by lawn mowers, foot traffic etc.
Too many trees and shade for a lawn? Plant assertive woodland plants. Add pathways, a bench and create a park in your yard. Come to the Broccolo Garden Center and see examples of these types of gardens. Are you crabby about crabgrass?
The only way to eradicate crabgrass this year is to completely kill the lawn in those areas and seed the this fall. Add soil to edges of driveways to fill the gaps. Otherwise, just wait until next spring and try the early preemergence control again. Come see us at the BROCCOLO Garden Center. 2755 Penfield Rd (east of Rt 250) Laurie Broccolo, CEO Certified Nursery Professional Broccolo Tree & Lawn Care 2059 Brighton-Henrietta TL Rd.Rochester, NY 14623 585-424-4476 www.broccolotreeandlawn.com
{ GARDENING TIPS WITH BROCCOLO } “The only way to eradicate crabgrass this year is to completely kill the lawn in those areas and seed the this fall. ”
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Designing landscapes with a purpose Save the Bees • Protect our Water Promote Pollinators • Plant trees for clean air
broccolotreeandlawn.com • 585-424-4476
{ MORTGAGE TIPS FOR WOMEN }
YOUNG FIRST TIME BUYERS BY PHYLLIS HABERER
ARE SAVING FOR THEIR DREAM HOMES
One o Millennials and Generation Z have waited longer than previous generations to enter the housing market for their first home. That being said, this hasn’t stopped them from dreaming about the home they will eventually buy. Many young buyers spend hours searching listings on the market that cost more than they can afford. This window shopping has led 45% of millennials to expect the first home they buy to be their dream home. They’re 178
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prepared to wait longer, save more for a bigger down payment, and they’re more picky about the listing they want to visit and the features they want in a home. Waiting a longer than older generations did to purchase a home has helped young buyers become more established in their careers prior to making a large purchase. In some areas, high competition in the starter home market forces young buyers to be patient and wait longer. The extra money they save during that waiting period opens their search to bigger, more expensive homes. If this trend continues, older millenials will completely skip the starter home, instead of going directly
to a premium home instead. If you are one of the many young renters who are planning to buy your first home in the near future, meet with a local real estate professional who can help determine which type of home will best suit your needs. Whatever your circumstances, I am happy to sit down with you, discuss your options, and find the perfect financing program to get you into the home of your dreams! (585) 314-8511 | phyllis@ premiummortgage.com. Connect with me on Facebook @ PhyllisHabererPMC
Making a move this summer?
CALL YOUR LOCAL EXPERT IN HOME FINANCING! PHYLLIS HABERER Senior Loan Officer | NMLS#58078
C: (585) 314-8511 D: (585) 363-7087 O: (585) 241-0000 x104 Phyllis@PremiumMortgage.com
MANY FINANCING PROGRAMS AVAILABLE!
CONVENTIONAL · FHA · USDA · 203K · VA · PORTFOLIO · SONYMA 2541 Monroe Ave, Rochester, NY 14618 | (585) 241-0000 | Lic. Mortgage Banker NYSDFS | NMLS #3254 ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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INCLUSION WELLNESS SPA BY KELLY BREUER AKA DIVA 2 I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN FORD
A DIVA’S DAY OF TIGHTENING
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of being pampered at Inclusion Wellness Spa in Webster by owner Rebecca Brown and (last month’s RWO cover woman) Glenna Colaprete, owner of CBD Best Oil.
more youthful appearance. Laser skin tightening is a minimally invasive, non-surgical process. I swear ladies, it did NOT hurt at all. a few times it got a little warm, but that was my only discomfort. And with using Glenna’s products, it reduces the swelling, reddness and irritation immediately.
S K I N TIGHTENING First on the spa menu was facial skin tightening utilizing a GentleMax Pro – Skin Tightening procedure along with the amazing products from CBD Best Oil including their Even & Clear Salve, Beauty Cream and Eye Cream all in conjunction with the laser tretament. The Derm Centre GentleMaxPro Laser Treatment is a unique facial skin tightening and rejuvenation option that produces dramatic results. For me, I was concerned with the “frown lines” by my mouth, and the crows feet from squinting. This procedure is a Laser skin tightening that effectively reduces the appearance of wrinkles, loose and sagging skin for a smoother and
There is no downtime, making this an increasingly popular procedure. Additional skin tightening occurs over the next few months, with optimal results typically after four to five treatments about a month apart. Best part is hat Rebecca offers a special pricing of just $199 for the first treatment for any Rochester Woman Online readers! I am so excited to go back for my next facial. This truly is an amazing process, and sure beats botox in my opinion. Plus, it lasts much much longer and for a much more reasonable pricing. And it is not just for your face! You can do other areas as well including your neck. It literally takes years off your appearance with 1 treatment.
The laser infrared light beam penetrates deep into skin tissue and a controlled amount of heat affects the collagen under the skins surface, causing it to tighten. Immediate Results Facial skin tightening is noticeable immediately after the treatment.
VELASHAPE Next on my list was the Velshape to flatten my tummy and get rid of my muffintop. VelaShape 3 is a new non-invasive treatment that uses a combination of technologies to contour your body and reduce the appearance of cellulite. Vacuum technology manipulates your skin while infrared light and bi-polar ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ DISHING WITH THE DIVAS } “The combination of the skin tightening treatments with the CBD Best Oil products is what sets this apart from other spa’s and makes the results even better!”
radio frequency energies gently heat fat cells and surrounding tissue. Ladies, this treatment feels amazing! You could literally fall asleep while receiving it. It feels almost like a hot stone massage, but when you get up, you have lost literal inches. After 3-6 treatments, patients typically notice a reduction in both circumference and in the appearance of cellulite in the treated areas. The surface of the skin will feel smoother and firmer, too. Some
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patients see results after their first visit, and in its clinical trials, VelaShape 3 led to a reduction of one full dress size after a series of treatments. For me, I reduced my measurements by 2.5inches in just one treament and smoothed out my belly lines. I have to say, Rebecca is an expert in getting the best results with this procedure. But, you have to remember to drink a gallon of water the day prior and day of to have the best results possible. And of course a serioes of treatments (usually 4-6) are recommended. For
Rochester Woman Online readers, Inclusion is offer a special $199 for your first treatment. This is so perfect for not just tummies, but legs, arms, chin, back fat and even for a butt lift. Contact them TODAY to sign up at 585. 347.6100 or www.inclusionspa.com
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SAILING OFF INTO THE SUNSET: CLEVELAND BY CHERYL KATES
Big Russ Da Bully and I, Diva 1, hit the road again. This time to Cleveland, Ohio. We started off with a sailboat charter from Harbor North located at 400 Huron Street in Huron, Ohio. Scott and Joyce Young were our Captains at North Shore Sailboat Charters. We cannot say enough about what an awesome experience this was sailing off into the sunset on Lake Erie with the backdrop of Cedar Point Amusement Park, in our sunset photos! This was an experience like no other. North Shore offers the threehour sunset cruise for a mere $ 300.00. It was worth every penny! We will have life-long memories from this experience. The sky views were something so beautiful, words just cannot explain. The hospitality of our hosts was beyond what anyone could expect. We felt like old time friends in minutes. The Youngs started out as power boat fans, until one day they went off for a sail at the Cedar Point boat show. They loved how once the sails set and the motor went off, the sound they heard of the water rushing under the boat. The ride was smoother. There was no annoying motor sound. Not even five minutes into the sail, Joyce told her husband she liked this way more than power boating. The experience provides a challenge to the sailors, as you are in control of the experience. The boater must set the sails to get the most out of the wind provided. Scott spent his career as a fireman for the City of Cleveland. He worked his way up the ranks: fireman, to Lieutenant to Captain, then ending his career after serving as the Battalion Chief. Joyce was an ICU nurse, who worked with Dialysis patients. She served as a nurse manager at 196
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a time, working in hospital and also at an outpatient clinic during the span of her career. Sailing provided an outlet for the couple, as both of their careers were stressful. Their careers gave them the skills to interact with the public. The couple is married 39 years now, so this serves as the foundation which allows for an awesome opportunity when setting the sails. To successfully sail a sailboat, communication is often the key. The Youngs work well together, so this also contributes to their success running a
charter business. The Young’s shared, “Our favorite part of operating our business is meeting people and watching them learn that sailing is not dangerous, and the boat isn’t going to tip over. Running our own business is a learning experience and it’s very rewarding. We love being our own bosses. Harbor North Marina is invaluable, and they have helped us with our 41-foot sailboat and in running our charter business. They
have a wealth of sailing and boat knowledge and are very generous with sharing that knowledge. The marina has a huge inventory of used sailboats that they offer for sale. People come to us to experience sailing, but they are usually combining it with an event they want to memorialize. Some have sailing experience, many have never sailed before, and just want to know what it is like to sail. We want people to know that despite their experience or lack of experience with sailing, they can come sail with us and learn or they can just take a ride”. A very interesting event is sponsored by the marina on an annual basis which is the Women’s weekend. This is held every year on the second weekend in June. The event provides an opportunity for groups of women to learn how to sail. Many of the women come to the weekend, because their spouse has been the only one telling them what to do when sailing on their sailboats. Many want to learn the correct way of doing things, so they can feel safer on their boat. Friday night is always a meet and greet. Bring out the wine and hors d’oeuvres. Saturday and Sunday are the teaching days. The women are placed in 4 member groups, they rotate through the different boats and captains during the weekend. They are taught how to man the overhead drills, points of sail, setting and reefing the sails, docking maneuvers, line handling and the knots. Of course, there is food, big cook outs and breakfast! The Youngs love to participate in charitable causes. They contribute sunset sails to the
{ DAY TRIPPIN WITH THE DIVA } “Big Russ Da Bully and I, Diva 1, hit the road again. This time to Cleveland, Ohio.“
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Eddie Miler Memorial Foundation ( donates money to suicide prevention), Cornerstone of Hope, and Life Act. They participate in the fundraiser for the Lakewood Christian Academy, the United Way and Adaptive Adventures (rides for veterans). The Youngs recall their favorite memory: “There was a young girl, who came out with her mother during the Catawba Boat Show. When she first came onboard, she was rather non-communicative and just wanted to go below and stay there while we were sailing. Her mother explained that she was adopted and had a rough beginning to her life. Another Captain was sailing with us, as well as a fireman buddy. We all tried to get her to come up into the cockpit so she could experience sailing. Finally, John, the other Captain was able to convince her, and she took the wheel. 202
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As soon as she took the wheel, everything changed. She was smiling and giving orders to set the sails. John was telling her what to say. She was laughing. The change in her was remarkable. After we returned, she was still bubbly and talkative. Her mother took me aside and was crying. She told me that was the best day she’s ever had with her. She had never seen that side of her before. We saw them again at different charity events and boat shows. Her mother said things were going much better with her”. The Youngs tell me there is much room for women in sailing. It is something we can learn and do. You don’t have to own your own sailboat as many sailing clubs have a race night and they are often looking for extra crew members to join in. There are also all women teams who race. For younger women and girls, the sailing experience can
provide empowerment and networking opportunities to meet great people. For the most part, the sailing community is very supportive, and they all tend to look out for one another. The Youngs have learned so much from their fellow sailors. They have 15 years of experience, but you can still continue learning as you go! BIRTHDAY DINNER AS TEXAS DE BRAZIL, CROCKER PARK, WEST LAKE OHIO At the suggestion of the Youngs, we headed over to Crocker Park located in West Lake, Ohio. We decided to dine at Texas De Brazil, Churrascaria Steakhouse. This is an awesome experience as well. The salad bar is divine. Selections include steamed asparagus, typical salads, couscous salad, a selection of cheeses, rice and beans, sushi, and soups among others. All of the items I tried,
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{ DAY TRIPPIN WITH THE DIVA } “The Youngs tell me there is much room for women in sailing. It is something we can learn and do. You don’t have to own your own sailboat as many sailing clubs have a race night and they are often looking for extra crew members to join in.”
such as the lobster bisque, shrimp, sushi and hummus were fresh, and delicious! Meats are cooked gaucho style. You receive a button that is placed on your table. Flip it to green and the gauchos will start stopping by your table with endless delights of meat to sample. The choices include: herb-marinated port tenderloin, picanha, Brazilian sausage, leg of lamb, chicken breast wrapped in bacon, alcatra, lamb chops, filet mignon wrapped in bacon, parmesan crusted pork loin, garlic picanha, braised beef ribs, barbeque pork ribs, parmesan drumettes, filet mignon and flank steak. We brought our a p p e t i t e s . We were pleased with everything about this dining experience. There was a wide selection of options. The meats were cooked to perfection. The side dishes consisted of plantain style bananas and mashed potatoes. The all you can eat experience at dinner is priced around 44.00, so for what you are getting that is a fair and economical price. The décor is outstanding and there are exotic floral 204
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arrangements with a warm environment. For desert because it was my birthday, Big Russ had the staff create a special message on my dessert plate. We ordered a cheesecake
selection and it was phenomenal. WEST SIDE MARKET
On the way to head back to Rochester, we decided to make a stop at the West Side Market in Cleveland, Ohio located at 1979 W. 25th Street. There are over 100 vendors with offerings from fresh meat, vegetables, spices, and ordered food. It was an awesome experience. We grabbed our meat for our 4th of July home BBQ including oxtails, short ribs, pork ribs and brisket. When we cooked the meat on the 4th it was awesome!!! This market is in existence since 1912. It’s known as the oldest market in Cleveland. The land was donated in 1840. It does serve as a slice of history to the Cleveland area. We grabbed a bite at the Market Garden Brewery ( with Beer Garden, patio dining), next door to the market. Which they had an interesting selection of flights of mimosas. Due to the drive home we did not sample these awesome looking treats! But if you want to grab a delicious burger, this is definitely the place to stop.
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NICOLE BACKUS BY CHERYL KATES I PHOTOS BY JIM HOOPER
ON THE ROC CARPET: NICOLE BACKUS; FILM PRODUCER
the norm, families require unity and keeping your head above water is the everyday struggle. The school of hard knocks are the only lessons learned,
Rochester, NY, the home of Kodak film, recently experienced a rise in popularity for the film industry. Downtown was shut down for “Spider Man”. “Fast and Furious” rolled through. RWO is pleased to announce we will be covering local film producer, Nicole Backus and the production of “These Streets Don’t Love You Like I Do”. We will be showcasing special features throughout the development and will follow along, as history is in the making. Nicole shares: “This story focuses on Jimmy and his four teenage friends who are torn between community, family, and the people they love. This Rochesterbased drama highlights poverty, crime, and everyday life. Respect over love doesn’t always equal happiness. The viewers will take a wild ride with Jimmy and his friends and see how they cope with life as teens in an urban community where drugs, death and poverty is 206
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as these teens are torn between the streets and the people who love them. It’s only a matter of time before these teens are reminded “These Streets
Don’t Love You Like I Do. I remember just starting off, when writing my first short film, “A Friendship That Binds”. I thought to myself, “How am I going to pull this off?” With all the planning, casting, locations and all that goes into a production, the amount of work was insane. During this process, I remember feeling like I was undefeated, nothing could stop me and here I am to date with a supportive cast and crew of 44 total. This experience currently is the most memorable so far. I’m presently writing episode three”. Nicole is a Bronx, NY native. She was raised in a poverty-stricken environment, where she developed a “tough skin”. Living this experience, taught her too push through and earn her seat at the table. She’s dealt with homelessness, poverty and racism, which allowed her to push past her limitations and discover the endless capabilities she possesses. She entered the entertainment industry, after a friend suggested she “give modeling a try”. She then was off and running. Nicole tested
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“This industry has a lot of clicks. I pride myself in just being me, either you like me, or you don’t. I feel that there’s room for everyone and we need to embrace one another especially our young people just starting in entertainment.”
{ QUEEN OF ARTS } “As a woman in this industry, I’ve faced adversity, but I pride myself on hard work, integrity and being respectful. These tools will help you go far.”
the waters and acted, started writing, directing and producing her first short, which led to writing her first pilot for a series. Nicole aspires in the next five years to see her work on the big screen. She predicts expansion of her business at SunMoonRising Films LLC where she will continue to write, direct and produce. Nicole reflects by saying, “This industry has a lot of clicks. I pride myself in just being me, either you like me, or you don’t. I feel that there’s room for everyone and we need to embrace one another especially our young people just starting in entertainment. As a woman in this industry, I’ve faced adversity, but I pride myself on hard work, integrity and being respectful. These tools will help you go far. If you have a dream, just remember it’s never too late. Take that class, write that book or escape to that far away place you’ve always dreamed of. You only have one life to live. Live it to the fullest. No regrets!”. 210
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When Nicole is not working on her series, she is helping her best friend
She shares by saying, “My husband and my children are the most significant people in my life. These individuals inspire, encourage and believe in me. Their support is the driving force behind my motivation. My grandmother who is now deceased, was a nurse for over 20 years. The display of fulfillment that she had for her career, inspired me to become a nurse. I’ve been nurse for over 14 years, and I love the fact that I’m able to help people in need. In this field, you have to love what you do in order to be effective. This job involves compassion, empathy and emotional support which is an invaluable asset of care. I simply love what I do” Keep an eye out, as we cover “These Streets Don’t Love You Like I Do” and Nicole’s journey in making a series. The acute inside look at what it takes will really open your eyes to what goes into making a production.
with her play. She is also a nurse, mother and wife.
So, see you on “The Roc Carpet!”
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{ UPSTATE EATS }
ONE BITE AT A TIME BY MARICELLE MOSMAN
Upstate Eats: Bringing you the best foods and drinks in Upstate New York, one bite at a time. Upstate Eats| Rochester Free Radio 106.3 Thursdays from 8-9 pm UNTER BIERGARTEN
Biergarten without talking about Wursts! They have some classics like the ‘Smoked Bratwurst’ and the ‘Weisswurst.’ Along with some classics they also have jazzed up ones like the ‘Brat-Mi’ that comes with liverwurst, pickled veggies, spicy mayo and cilantro on the bratwurst. Along side your brat, you can select a variety of sides, warm potato salad, sauerkraut or braised red cabbage just to name a few!
Where the steins are as big as your head! A restaurant I visited this past month was Unter Biergarten. The saying is true that you really learn something new every day. Unter – is pronounced Unta! This restaurant serves Bavarian/New American Cuisine and they work closely with local farmers and fresh ingredients. The first item I tasted was ‘The Pretzel.’ It comes with root beer mustard and beer cheese. The pretzel is definitely ‘Rochester HUGE’ and is a great appetizer to share. All of their dips/dressings are made in house which gives their beer cheese a real authentic flavor. Now I have never had shishito peppers before, so upon seeing it on the menu I was very intrigued. shishito peppers are a sweet, East Asian variety of peppers. It is a nice in-between dish appetizer as it has charred lime and comes with a house-made lemon garlic aioli. Now—I cannot mention Unter
featured meat of the evening. If you play in a league—consider Unter for your sponsorship! Regardless if you play kickball, softball, darts, or even rowing—call Unter to get sponsored for your team today! Now let’s talk about everyone’s favorite part of dining—the drinks! They have 24 selections on tap, sure to satisfy any drinker. They have different sizes of steins… but let’s be honest it is always best to go big or go home! If it is your birthday— make sure you stop in and show your ID to get a FREE 2L Stein! Might as well order a brat with your 2L stein while you are it to end your birthday right! For more information check out: https:// unterbiergarten.com/ Photography: Marguerita Rose CHARLOT TE TAVERN
Looking for some great specials throughout the week? Unter Biergarten has it! Their specials vary per season: Tuesdays- Mussels Day, Wednesday Lobster Roll, Thursday $1 Oysters.. yes that is right, $1 Oysters until they run out that night! Friday- Fish & Chips and Saturday is the Butcher’s Series where the chef will select the
T h i s Ta v e r n h a s been through several generations and serves as a staple go-to within the Charlotte area. John purchased the restaurant from his parents almost 20 years ago to keep the tradition alive and currently runs the restaurant with his twin brother Craig. With a fantastic brick oven inspired from Goodfella’s in NYC, they were the first to install a revolving wood-fired brick oven in ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ UPSTATE EATS } “Now their pizzas I think are one of their holy grails. With that revolving brick oven, it cooks the crust to perfection.”
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Upstate. Getting up to 900 degrees means your pizzas can be made in record time! Almost everything that the Charlotte Tavern serves is handmade and within the first bite—you can taste it! The first thing I tried was their ‘Tavern Style Mozzarella Logs’. These are mozzarella sticks to the next level. You will definitely need two hands to eat these and help catch the cheese as it pulls apart. I have never seen mozzarella sticks as big as the ones at Charlotte Tavern!
you happy and full. One featured dish is named after John’s daughter, Isabella. The Pasta Isabella was another dish I tasted and will be a go-to dish when I return. I am a huge seafood fan so I tried it with shrimp, however, you can get it without any meat or add chicken instead. The dish comes with sautéed mushrooms, onions, black olives, cherry and sundried tomatoes and garlic in a white wine sauce paired with your choice of pasta.
If Italian is more your thing, they have you covered! With a wide variety of Frenches including, Lobster French, Asparagus French, Tomato French and Scallops French. All entrees are made to order so you know that you are getting fresh, hot and comforting dinners that will leave
Now their pizzas I think are one of their holy grails. With that revolving brick oven, it cooks the crust to perfection. They do have a nice variety of pizzas to choose from including the Philly Bomber, Buffalo Chicken, Chicken Bacon Ranch and Parmesan which
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has the choice of chicken or eggplant. They also have different featured pizzas that change weekly. I have tried the Big Mac and it tastes just like I am eating one! Don’t think you can decide on having one pizza? At Charlotte Tavern, you don’t have to! They have an option called the ‘4 Corners Pizza’ which allows you to select 4 different kinds of pizza and each section is separated out with a pizza crust braid. I highly recommend the Charlotte Tavern the next time you are looking for a place to get food. They are very accommodating and like to try different things. If you don’t see something on the menu you would like to try, just ask!
{ MIND, BODY, SPIRIT }
ROCHESTER ROOTS IN ZEN BUDDHISM BY ALANA CAHOON
50 years ago, Zen roots were established right here, in Rochester, NY. The Rochester Zen Center was established. It attracted practitioners from all areas of the country and in some cases the world. I’ve had a few experiences at the Rochester Zen Center. The first time I arrived, it was closed. The only time of year taat the center actually locked its doors to the outside world. I believe in signs but was not deterred for long. A year, at most.
led me to join an offshoot community now called the Endless Path Zendo. A smaller sangha (zen community) meeting in a more intimate setting. Here, I meditated in perfect silence, sometimes counting my breath, sometimes visualizing my chakras
WHERE IT ALL BEGAN
My third attempt took me to a traditional sitting. (Sitting is a term used for sitting in silent meditation or Zazen.) Upon my arrival, I was advised to take extra cushions to sit on. As I clumsily tried to find my balance on my propped up seat, I realized that I had chosen the seat directly next to the Zen Priest. How was I supposed to breathe now much less count? Was I sitting next to the equivalent of the Arch Bishop?
I was looking for something lighter which 222
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It was during the NYC Zen Center’s 50th Anniversary celebration last year that I realized Rochester’s contribution to the Roots of Zen in America. My husband was invited to be the Keynote speaker at NYC’s Zen Center celebration. During that weekend, I meditated alongside visiting Buddhist monks from Japan. I wandered the 3 levels of the center and came upon its history. Chester Carlson, Founder of Xerox and inventor of Xerography (and the photocopier) was instrumental in bringing Zen Buddhism to America. His photo adorned several walls alongside spiritual leaders. His philanthropic efforts aided the founding of both the NYC Zen Center (New York Zendo Shobo-ji) and the Rochester Zen Center.
On my second occasion I participated in an introductory weekend where I sat in silent meditation for countless hours while literally counting from 1 10 over and over again. Somehow that meditative exercise moved me to tears as an onslaught of former memories arose in my mind. Always going back to 1, 2, 3 and so on, sniffling throughout.
I began to feel the weight of my Catholic upbringing. The discipline and authority that shaped me into who I am today.
Rochester & Zen - the Foundation
The Zen movement in America started at the World Parliament of Religions held in Chicago. That was in 1893. It wasn’t long after that the Zen tradition began to spread its wings and take root. California was fertile ground. But so was New York including the city of Rochester.
or reciting my Christian prayers, and on those wonderful occasions entering a state of bliss called emptiness.
The Rochester Zen Center opened its doors in1966 on Arnold Park Drive where it resides today. It offers programs and teachings, and hosts retreats and sesshins (multiple day long meditations and teachings) at Chapin Mill Buddhist Retreat Center just south in Batavia, NY. Both jewels of our community. A few years later, the NYC Zen Center was
inaugurated. Our very own, Chester Carlson was there for the special and auspicious occasion. His memory is revered to this day. WOMEN LEADERS OF ZEN As invited guests of the NYC Zen Center’s 50th celebration, we had the honor of sitting in a private Zen Tea Ceremony with the Abbot, Shinge Roko Sherry Chayat Roshi, along with visiting Zen Masters from Japan. My Catholic upbringing once again kicked into gear and, like Wayne in Wayne’s World, I felt the impulse to kiss the ground while repeating the mantra, ‘I’m not worthy. I’m not worthy.’ I resisted the urge and counted my blessings. I had already witnessed Shinge Roshi chide one of the attendees during an earlier ceremony. She was as sharp as any logical, left sided intellect, and as fierce as my 5th grade teacher. (Unlike other Catholic nuns at the time, instead of using the ruler for discipline, she carried a miniature Red Wings bat.). And Roshi’s smile - as beautiful as a blossoming lotus radiating love. 224
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Such a commanding presence, I thought. And here she is leading the men in the room!
spiritual and personal development leaders all over the world.
Shinge Roshi was a pioneer in the American Zen movement. After 40 years of formal practice, she was authorized as a Roshi, or Zen Master. It was only 8 years ago today that she became the Abbot of the Zen Studies Society. She has authored numerous books on the subject.
If I am ever found sitting in a Zendo these days I’m most likely reciting my Tibetan prayers. Focusing on the breath. Considering the Koans I never quite made it through.
Our local Female Zen Master, Rose Martin, supports the Endless Path Zendo along with her literally acclaimed husband, Rafe Martin. Their story is a romantic one. They chose Rochester, NY as their home to follow Zen. Both are now Zen Priests. Rose’s leadership skills shine in the seamless management of the Zendo’s schedule. Rafe is a gifted orator, known for his storytelling. Together they have created a sacred space for practice. It was a Tibetan Lama who first introduced me to Tibetan Buddhism several years ago. She, too is known as one of the Women Leaders of Buddhism. Lama Tsultrim Allione founded Tara Mandala, located in the sacred hills of Pagosa Springs, Colorado. The retreat center offers programs led by
The Zen Studies Society New York Zendo 223 East 67th St, NYC www.zenstudies.org (Abbot Shinge Roko Sherry Chayat Roshi) Rochester Zen Center 7 Arnold Park, Rochester, NY www.rzc.org Endless Path Zendo Brighton St, Rochester, NY www.endlesspathzendo.org (Supported by Zen Master, Rose Martin) Tara Mandala Pagosa Springs, CO www.taramandala.org (Lama Tsultrim Allione) Alana Cahoon is the creative coach and founder of Grow 2 B U, LLC; leading professionals to bring balance, joy & prosperity to their lives. www. AlanaCahoon.com
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PHOENIX RISING YOGA THERAPY
Michael Lee
MA, Dip.Soc.Sci, C-IAYT Founder of Phoenix Rising
300hr Yoga Teacher Training Topics covered in the 300 hour training include: The power of mindful embodied awareness and presence; Accessing the subtle body's innate wisdom with asana, pranayama and meditation; How to guide a theme based yoga class for a specific population; Integrating the Phoenix Rising process into daily life application through yoga experiences; Sequencing classes and workshops from intention based on yoga philosophy, psychology and neuroscience. This 300hr series can be applied toward your 900hr Yoga Therapist Certification (C-IAYT) with Phoenix Rising School of Yoga Therapy.
Sarah K. Greco C-IAYT, E-RYT500
BEGINNING SEPTEMBER 2019 START YOUR JOURNEY TODAY! pryt.com/product/ytt-300-rochester
(585) 200-7209
Hosted by: Dr. Staffan Elgelid PT, PhD, GCFP, C-IAYT, E-RYT500
PHOENIX RISING SCHOOL OF YOGA THERAPY
1150 Crosspointe Ln | Webster, NY
{ CUSTOM BEAUTE }
LID LIFTS & LIP FLIPS BY CORTNEY KRUGER
PLASMA FIBROBLAST AND THE NEXT GENERATION OF ANTI-AGING SKIN TREATMENTS Every woman wants the perfect pout. To be able to rock those beautiful, luscious lips that all of our favorite celebrities seem to have been genetically gifted with. Most of those celebrities, however, are not rocking natural lips at all. Oftentimes, their perfect smiles come courtesy of cosmetic fillers like Restylane and Juvederm; or even, more recently, using a Botox filler just above the lip to pull and tighten from above to achieve a more natural look. Fillers are temporary, though, and can be costly if done in perpetuity—running anywhere from $500 - $1000 per injection, every 6-12 months. And if you see an unskilled practitioner you run the additional risk of ending up with the infamous “duck lip” look that we all fear when trying to enhance our smiles. Fortunately, there is a new procedure out there that offers a more lasting, natural look, without the use of cosmetic fillers. Commonly referred to as the “Lip Flip”, this new procedure is a plasma treatment that is non-invasive, chemical free, and considered to be the most permanent treatment out there. The Princess of Pout herself, Kylie Jenner, recently had her lip fillers removed for this more natural look, though it is unclear if she opted for the Botox injection above the lip, or if she underwent the plasma fibroblast that we will be talking about here. In addition to the perfect pout, plasma fibroblast can offer non-surgical solutions for eye lid lifts. As we mature the skin around 230
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our eyes—and our eyelids—loses its elasticity and can lead to hooded eyelids and wrinkles around the eyes. This is a natural aging process that has effects far beyond those that are cosmetic in nature, oftentimes obscuring and impairing one’s vision. This plasma treatment can be done around the eyes and on the lids to achieve the same tightening effect, leaving the lids lifted without having to undergo surgery to improve your vision. Of course, not everyone is a perfect candidate for this procedure. Those with very dark skin, for example, are not good candidates as they run a higher risk for hyperpigmentation or hypopigmentation. The determination is
made after a brief consult with our technicians. We offer this new Fibroblast treatment at Custom Beaute and everyone LOVES it. We pride ourselves in offering the safest, quality made, German technology. The best part about plasma fibroblast is that it can be used virtually anywhere, not just for the lip flip or the lid lifts. It can be used to treat a wide variety of skin challenges including: wrinkles around the mouth—a common problem for smokers, crows feet, skin tags, pesky bumps, scars, crepe skin, jowels, facial surgical scars, lifting and firming ears, acne scars, mild stretch marks, loose skin, sides of face tightening, pigmentation, milia and even small tattoos and semi-permanent makeup can be lightened. It’s truly revolutionary!
You’re probably wondering how this works… Plasma tightening is used to treat loose skin and activate the fibroblast cells in the dermis; causing these cells to produce higher levels of collagen and elastin that you can begin to feel tightening immediately, creating a longterm anti-aging effect. At Custom Beaute, we use the safest technology pen which uses a tiny probe to emit a low voltage heat and, without touching the skin, it creates an “arc” between the probe and the skin causing a small reaction to reduce the water/plasma. We are continuously perfecting techniques to tighten the skin that is loose, and to pull flat wrinkles and lines. This is a permanent change in your skin, though aging will naturally still occur—but we can keep fighting it! You will feel the tightening immediately, and your skin will continue to lift and tighten for an additional 10 months. This truly is the fastest way to tighten skin that is permanent, with little down time, and long-lasting results FOR YEARS and without going under the knife! The process, when you come to Custom Beaute for treatment, is as follows: The area is numbed prior to the treatment and is very comfortable. A session can take approximately 1-3 hours depending on the area treated. There is about 4 to 5 days of downtime (where you have little brown dots) that you need to keep dry, and then can put dry make up over it after they are healed. Results are seen in one treatment, but more may be required based on the severity of the condition. We will then give you our SHALE Maintain Tone and Restore Tissue Repair that you must use as after care for the procedure, and you would also use an SPF 50 for at least 6 weeks. This treatment does not disappoint, you will feel the tightness immediately! We are excited to provide this wonderful, safe, service to you. Give us a call to book your appointment today.
{ WE ARE PURE BARRE }
NEW SPACE SAME PACE! BY CHRISTINE LIMUTI I PHOTOS BY PAUL VAN HOY II
Try Your First Class Free at Pure Barre! Have you checked out Pure Barre Rochester’s new look? Rochester locals and Pure Barre owners Christine Limuti and Dalya Crawford just reinvested into the studio space to bring an even better experience to their members and first time clients! Join Pure Barre for their Re-Grand Opening event in September to celebrate the Fresh Space - - but Same [great] Pace! In the meantime, you are invited to take your first Pure Barre class free!
isometric movements that are designed to produce results. You’ll use the ballet Barre and other light equipment as you move through class, focusing on different areas of your body. Your muscles will shake. You’ll get
What should you expect during your first class? You’ll be welcomed with encouragement, personalized attention and a supportive community. The Pure Barre program is built to be challenging regardless where you are in your journey a beginner or celebrating your 1000th class. You should expect to feel a bit overwhelmed at first, because you’re likely working muscles you’ve never worked before! Come with an open mind and commit to 3 or more classes to catch on to the flow and moves of class and be able to follow your teacher’s cues.
Email pittsford@purebarre. com to book and follow us @purebarreroc to stay up to date on the special events and promotions during our Re-Grand Open month! What is Pure Barre? Pure Barre is the largest, most established barre franchise in North America with three times the volume of any other barre concept. Founded in 2001 by Carrie Dorr, a professional dancer, choreographer, and trainer, the brand has grown to over 500 studios in 2018 with anticipated growth of 1,000 studios open by 2021. Pure Barre is a collection of 45-50 minute total body workouts. At the core of their technique, they use a thoughtful series of low impact, 234
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and cross-train within the Pure Barre’s core principles: a fitness program that’s safe, effective, music-driven, community-focused and reinforces the importance of a strong mindbody connection.
stronger with each class. Backed by the company’s world-class training team and with the recent introduction of a range of innovative classes, clients are able to diversify their workouts
Don’t be intimidated by your teacher providing hands on corrections, as this level of attention is what really sets Pure Barre a part from other fitness programs. Before you know it, you will hear your teacher calling out your name over the mic raving about how awesome your form is! What advice would you give someone who’s never taken Pure Barre? Embrace the shake! That’s a result of your muscles fatiguing and that’s when
{ WE ARE PURE BARRE } “Pure Reform is a total body workout that targets, shapes, and defines all major muscle groups through resistance‐based strength training.”
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{ WE ARE PURE BARRE } “At the core of their technique, they use a thoughtful series of low impact, isometric movements that are designed to produce results.”
you start to see positive changes in your body. Also, don’t hesitate to stay after class and ask your instructors questions if you weren’t clear on any of the moves or technique. Who will benefit from Pure Barre? Everyone! The majority of our clients are women but we continue to see more men try Pure Barre to strengthen their core, work the smaller muscle groups they normally don’t focus on, and increase their flexibility. Because the classes are all low-impact, pregnant women, people of older age, and those recovering from injuries can also benefit from Pure Barre, whereas, other fitness classes may be too strenuous due to the nature of high impact work outs. How does Pure Barre differentiate from other barre concepts? Our biggest differentiators is the investment in teacher training and the musicality aspect of our class. Pure Barre is a proprietary program built on science that has it’s own technique and certification process that is very rigid and difficult to pass. Our teachers train for over 100 hours for their initial certification and complete on-going development training every month. We truly have a world-class training department that brings thousands of teachers together to share best practices and maintain a consistent class experience for our clients regardless of which studio or teacher they take from. Consistency
is key to ensure every class is effective. Second, our teachers cue each move to the beat of music. And not just any music, but specific music tracks that our clients love and matches the level of intensity at that point in class! This allows clients to get lost in the music and disregard the shake and burn they will likely feel. And again, having a class flow that is precisely timed by music blocks, creates consistency and enforces effectiveness. Give us 50 minutes,
and we’ll give you the best of barre, guaranteed! How can someone get started with Pure Barre? We offer everyone their first Pure Barre class free and will schedule a new client into one of our Foundations Classes! This small group class setting will introduce you to the basic movements of Pure Barre and build confidence as you learn how our technique works and all the benefits it has to offer. Foundations classes are scheduled
every Tuesday at 6:40PM, Thursday at 9:340AM and Sunday at 11:00AM. Email pittsford@purebarre.com or call 585.690.6102 and we will get you booked and set you up or a great first class experience! What classes do you offer at Pure Barre? Rooted in their classic technique, Pure Barre Classic is the fastest, most effective full-body workout. You’ll be guided through a series of low-impact, high intensity movements that are designed to strengthen and tone your body in ways that no other technique can. Pure Empower is a fusion of barre and interval training designed to elevate your heart rate, build strength and rev up your metabolism. For 45 minutes, you’ll use multi-directional, dynamic movements with ankle weights and a plyometric platform to target different muscle groups simultaneously - all at an invigorating pace. Pure Reform is a total body workout that targets, shapes, and defines all major muscle groups through resistance‐based strength training. The 50‐minute class merges the elements you love from the classic Pure Barre technique with moves that challenge your strength, coordination and balance by using resistance bands, sliders, and the barre.
Pure Barre Rochester-Pittsford, NY a: 3349 Monroe Ave. Ste. 27b, Rochester, NY 14618 I p: 585-690-6102 e: pittsford@purebarre.com I w: purebarre.com/ny-pittsford/
{ BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }
AFFAIRE DE CHOCOLAT BY DEBRA SHEEN I PHOTOS BY MICHAEL CRISAFULLI
About us: Affaire de Chocolat has been locally owned and operated since 2001. We offer ,70% Dark Chcolate bars with spices , Brownie mixes and,original hand crafted Truffles and Chocolates. Flavors range from the traditional to the savory. An assortment of Chocolate Barks , Event Favors and Chocolate Trays, are also available. Advanced order needed for the Favors and Chocolate trays.
I began making confections and chocolates at a young age. I was born with a desire to create delicious treats with that ‘small batch’ goodness. Add in a partial French heritage with a desire to develop original recipes, inspiring .I enjoy using flavors that embrace family tradition and some that satisfy the adventurous with creative flavor profiles and textures , delicious.
Tr a d i t i o n a l Chocolate Bunnies and Filled Eggs are available at Easter. I m a k e ‘a d u l t ’ Easter Eggs, filled with liquors and whiskey. Chocolate Rats are available around Halloween, as well as Dracula’s teeth and such. I make chocolate Advent Calendars for Christmas and have special gift boxes for Clients and Family. My small batch recipes are kept simple and fresh with basic ingredients. I package the chocolates quickly, sealing in the delicious flavors. Waxes are not added to the chocolates or truffles. Each hand made bag or box of Chocolates is packaged ready for gift giving and enjoying 244
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comments made by gift recipients. Samples are often available at the store. I want the visit to be tasty and positive . I encourage my customers slow down, let the chocolate melt. Enjoy the experience as the pallet awakens. Take a deep breath and enjoy a quiet moment. Affaire de Chocolat was started in my Perinton home with a commercial kitchen, in 2001.Affaire de Chocolat was in Penfield for over 7 years and we now are located in Fairport. Contact information: Owner-Debra Sheen (585) 387-9111 Call, email or Text AffaireDeChocolat@ Gmail.com W W W . AffairedeChocolat. com
I believe that good chocolate can offer a ‘nudge’ toward better choices thru the healthful addition of spices, fruits, and nuts. It’s about the balance. One of the most satisfying parts of being a chocolatier is seeing my customer’s face as they enjoy the chocolates. I love hearing the
Store Address: 303 Macedon Center road, Fairport NY 14450 Hours:,Tuesday 10:00-5:00, Wednesday, 10:00-6:00 Thursday and Friday 10-5:00, Saturday 102:00.
{ BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }
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{{ RWO’S UNLIMITED TRAVELING COACHING DIVA }}
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{ RWO’S WINESENSE }
AGNESS WINE CELLARS BY RANDY AGNESS
Agness Wine Cellars is a limited boutique winery in the Finger Lakes located on the shores of Keuka Lakes with many unique characteristics. First, Agness Wine Cellars produces only a single wine – a Finger Lakes SemiDry Riesling from several outstanding vineyard partners around Seneca Lakes. We have been growing rapidly in terms of number of restaurants, breweries and wine shops across New York State so much that we’ll be the fastest growing Riesling in the Finger Lakes when bottling our 2018 vintage Riesling. Second, Agness Wine Cellar does not have a tasting room location, but instead sell 248
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only wholesale fine dining restaurants and wine retailers while conducting hundreds of complimentary wine tasting events. Third, our Riesling has been very highly rated by Wine Spectator, Wine Enthusiast, Beverage Industry magazine, Bartender magazine & the Washington Post and awarded numerous medals in wine competition across the nation. Of the restaurant clients, Agness Wine Cellars is being served in nearly 30 restaurants on Wine Spectator’s List Where To Drink Well and being followed by the Executive Director of Wine Spectator magazine. The Agness Riesling has been called
light, smooth, not sweet, delicious and delightfully floral as we don’t add sugar to the wine. Instead we add late harvest Riesling grapes to balance the natural acidity for that noticeable beautiful finished. Our Riesling has been a part of many significant family occasions and simply enjoyed for a special meal together relaxing over good conversations. Website www.agnesswinecellars.com Facebook Agness Wine Cellars
Agness Top Rated Semi-Dry Riesling in the Finger Lakes
Agness Wine Cellars Best Choice for Celebrating Life’s Finest Moments www.agnesswinecellars.com
{ KARMA SPEAKS }
I AM BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD I PHOTOS BY PAUL VAN HOY II
Food and wine, seems simple, elegant, fun. Drinks and snacks, paired together when the sun reflects orange hues through the thicket of fresh green leaves, bouncing off waves of the water where friends meet. To socialize, laugh and leave memories of summer in the smiling eyes of the perfect image caught, memorialized for years to come on the shelf that holds all our best days gone by. One cannot think of summer as an adult, without pairing such things together. Yet, what seems light and fun and easy, can sometimes be one of the darkest internal battles fought. I’m by no means anti alcohol or against pairing food with drink, I know people who drink responsibly. But alas, I am also friends with the demon lurking beyond this talent of responsible drinking, and so I had to set it free. I live a life of sobriety, in a world centered around good spirits, fine wines and ciders. Summer brings about all the old dormant habits, waiting to pounce.
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to become sober came at me like an angry man who is defending his honor in the ring. It was painful, and humiliating, yet it has brought me to this place today. I was forced to be stripped of my ego, my pride and my title of functioning alcoholic. Because let’s face it, where I ended up isn’t functioning at all. I could have lost everything, I could have given up the fight. I lived for so long using alcohol as my bandaid to cover up feelings and memories I didn’t deem necessary. I was angry, and I was hurt
Those of a functioning alcoholic where these backyard barbecues, throwing bags of beans into holes and sipping on a dew dripped frosty bottle of brew seem so innocent, yet to some stirs feelings unknown to the onlooker. I choose sobriety, and am able to live this lifestyle with confidence and pride. But it wasn’t always so.
and my friend alcohol whispered sweet nothings in my ear any chance it could. I used alcohol to numb out feelings, to soak up the sadness, and I existed as a normal adult to the unsuspecting eye. But one can only dance with the devil for so long, before all hell erupts. I flirted with the law, and teetered on the brink of crazy.
A good friend recently asked me if I was ashamed of who I am. Because the decision
I let people down in my life, and lost my only means of finance. I was shut out of
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life as I know it for months and was told a brutal truth by my oldest child. To sit and stare at the failure you are becoming within your child’s eyes, does something to the soul. To hear him utter words of how you yourself have disappointed him, and how your words mean nothing is another dark dank place a mother never wants to go. But I did. And I listened and heard every word as it sliced through my ears and inflicted even more pain than the child I had once been, who found the evil spirits to drink away the pain. There was no drink for this. There would never be again. I needed to feel the pain, embrace it. It was that moment I knew I would prove I’m worth my words.that I am the mother I portrayed, only not hiding onto the bound bones of a skeleton in my closet. Sobriety, isn’t just not drinking. It’s choosing a lifestyle that isn’t centered around the drink, much like moths around the eclectic bug light. It’s easy not to drink, I did it plenty of times. All three times I was with child, and numerous other times to prove to myself I wasn’t relying on alcohol. All times secretly waiting for the magical date too, when I can throw up in arms with drink in hand and hail to a cheers of one thing or another. The waiting game, still holding hands with my least favorite friend. That’s not sobriety, this is. Four years and eight months. Each and every
{ KARMA SPEAKS }
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{{ SHIFT+CONTROL KARMA SPEAKS }} “ Summer brings about all the old dormant habits, waiting to pounce.”
day is a choice. And to answer my friends question, I told her I am not ashamed of who I am. I am not defined by my past. I have chosen to recreate myself. Sometimes I feel ashamed of the person who I used to be, but then smile and know that I have proven to those that matter most. And when I talk to strangers who judge, eventually my worth outshines my past. I speak the truths of who I am In hopes to reach upon ears in need of hearing. I politely decline the backyard barbeque beer, and the house wine while out to dinner. Yet am reminded that this is quite peculiar to some. The question is never too far behind, as to why I choose not to join in the spirits.And the looks from those who do not know me, and apologize when I explain I do not drink, with a smile. I never quite know why they are sorry, or look at me that way they do. I don’t need an apology, in fact the best fix to this, is never question someone as to why they choose not to drink. I recently took my food truck to a brewery to serve the dinner hours, and the nice bartender came three times to offer me a drink. I declined politely each time and expressed I have water. They don’t serve any non alcoholic drinks there anyway. When he came to look at my menu, he asked me immediately what do I have for vegetarians? I expressed we didn’t have much, just fries or mac salad, as our salad bar wasn’t prepped for dinner. He was disappointed, and let 252
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me know how I should have more choices for vegetarians. I listened and smiled and didn’t tell him what I should have said. I wanted to let him know if that were the case then his establishment should cater to my thirst needs as well. But I didn’t. I have since added a vegetarian sandwich though to my menu. Food and drinks, the ageless pair. The norm of living as an adult. I used this old fable to mask the untold truths of my past for
fact that we carry these guys with us like kids headed off to kindergarten carrying a backpack stuffed with all the supplies and needed tools for the year. The bag bigger than the child, heavy weighing us down, Yet we find a way to carry it, and find where each thing we packed in the backpack belongs. Placing it within reach for when we need it. Unpacking the load, so we can maneuver through life. It is here where i find the strenght, here inside of myslef. Not a higher power, there wasnt anyone who fixed me. I found that if I embrace who I am, and not fall victim to circumstances of my life, yet gain a voice and speak about who I am, who I want to be I have an impact. I have no shame i telling someone why I am sober, if they truly want to listen. I have done thismany times to people I know, and I have seen the impact of my words. I have talked friends through the transition who decided to join the army of soberiety.
so long. To pretend I too was responsible enough to flirt with disaster, and never be harmed. To blend in with drink in hand as it washes all the anxiety and awkwardness down with every sip. Now I stand alone, in all the glory and pressure of the issues I face in clarity. Anxiety, depression, fear, all these and then some are in my back pocket.
I have watched a stranger go from disgust to the look of admiraation halfway through my story. My children think I am a super hero, who can change the world. Well as least my world. I said once if i can reach one person, just one then I have made a difference.If i can do that, then how can I be ashamed of who I am?
They travel with me wherever I go, only I don’t drink them away, I embrace them. I find others who like me, need to share the
I Am stronger than this…
I Am stronger than this‌ a whisper of the image i used to be a reflection in a darkened mirror left longing for the return of a small weak child like figure with no eyes to see lies buried under hot trickling wax illuminating dark circles fear a face too young white knuckles clutching past nightmares even strong men weep for salty puddles dripping down weather worn mugs falling unto parched lips withholding truths unfit for children remains of yesterday exposed feet sliced by shards shattered I Am‌ feeling the sting of every image once drowned locked in bottles of failed attempts reflections broken scattered on dark clap-board flooring worn thin by a ghost of a girl shattered no more i am stronger than this. Karma~
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Rewarding Curiosity Every Day Immerse yourself in the incredible world of science through more than 200 hands-on exhibits, spectacular shows, themed activities, and more. Climb a wall, build a robot, launch a catapult, or touch a lightning bolt at the Science Museum. Journey through our solar system and across the universe at the Strasenburgh Planetarium, the only public domed planetarium in the region. Get outdoors at the 900-acre Cumming Nature Center, with six miles of meandering trails and year-round events for the whole family.
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{ INTUITIVE THINKING }
ELLEN GANS PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN FORD
I am a Psychic and Medium. I talk with and see dead people. Seriously, it’s true. I hear them, I feel them, and just know things. My story of becoming a professional psychic and medium is not complicated, however I did take my time getting here. When I was 6 years old I told my mother that her brother came to visit me in a dream. I saw him with his pipe and all of his art supplies at his desk. He told me he was mapping stars in heaven. Ever since that dream I have known we can communicate with our loved ones who have crossed over. Unfortunately the story kind of stalls there.
and my husband was also more supportive. So, I found a new place to develop and practice my skills. Opening my mind and trusting the validity of what I saw, heard, felt, and knew, was not difficult. In the beginning the experiences were just strange. How do you trust that a
Was what I smelled pipe smoke or cigarette smoke, or maybe smoke from a fire? At that time I could not determine which smoke I was smelling or describe the room with details the client understood. No psychic or medium is completely accurate, but having the ability to describe a room with some accurate details is the evidential portion of a reading a client expects and should be given by me. Messages and information come in fast. Like a flash of light, you may have seen the flash but did you see the details? Details are what really matter. I know souls are around us every day, I see them and just know. Seeing and knowing are great, just not good enough to tell a client during a reading.
I wasn’t discouraged by my mom but I wasn’t encouraged either. So my connection to the universe faded. I wasn’t ready to use it or develop the ability. Fast forward a few decades. In the 90’s I became friends with people who practiced their psychic and medium abilities. They encouraged me to pursue the development of my own skills. When I told my husband that I spoke to my dead grandmother and planned to become a psychic medium, he told me to see a psychiatrist. My husband believes that when you are dead you are dead, there is nothing after. We had kids still in high school, I worked outside the home, and my husband had his business. Life was full and busy. I put my psychic and medium development back on hold and waited. Ten years later our kids were grown and out of the house, I decided it was me time 258
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guinea pig, validated the image described as a statue her grandmother loved and had in her home. Wowzer, ding ding ding, the bells went off in my head, all the things I had been seeing were not my imagination. While I described the red parrot statue with accuracy, the room I saw it in was more difficult to explain, details were not exact. I knew there were windows but could not determine where in the room the windows were located. Seeing furniture and knowing a cabinet were somewhere in the room, along with smelling smoke, were also described by me, just not with complete accuracy.
red parrot sitting on a golden pineapple really is a message for the client and not your imagination? You tell the client of course! This experience was the defining moment of trusting what I saw. The client, who graciously agreed to be my reading
Describing a mother having difficulty reaching the top shelf of a bookcase with the feather duster is better information. Why the mother had difficulty reaching the top shelf is much better. A flash of feeling frustrated, seeing the feather duster, the bookcase and then asking the universe
{ INTUITIVE THINKING } “I am a Psychic and Medium. I talk with and see dead people. Seriously, it’s true.”
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{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
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{ INTUITIVELY THINKING } “ I enjoy Tarot, which is really just a visual way of providing a psychic reading for a client, but medium readings are my favorite.”
why dusting the bookcase was so difficult, receiving the answer and conveying all that information to the client in a few seconds is my job. It’s what I do. Giving that evidential information is what is possible. In order to be the best psychic and medium and provide evidential messages and information, which can be validated by the client, is the reason I continue to develop my skills. Will I ever be 100% accurate? I doubt it. No psychic or medium will ever be perfect. Practice and development to improve my skills, to be better at my job every day is my intention for continuing with classes and development circles.
I met my 4 soul sisters. We are a group of five psychic and medium women, all connected by our energy, who were brought together by the Universe to form, what we coined as, The Soul Tribe. Each one of us have developed additional metaphysical skills to add to our psychic and medium abilities. Reiki, animal communication,
Before becoming a professional psychic and medium I attended a development circle every Monday and Thursday, 2 hours each day for two years. If a class was offered that sounded interesting to me I took it. Intuitive Tarot was one of those classes. I enjoy Tarot, which is really just a visual way of providing a psychic reading for a client, but medium readings are my favorite. I love connecting to the energies of the souls of people and animals who have crossed over. That connection is one of the best parts of my job. I get to meet the person asking for information and the souls on the other side. My favorite take away from almost every medium reading is the love the soul has for the person in front of me. I get to feel that, to know it. That feeling of love is a gift. It is my intention to have a three way connection so the sitter ( the person receiving a reading) can know and feel all of the emotional energies, information and messages the soul on the other side is giving. While attending the circles for two years
health intuitiveness and tarot are some of our skills. We clear unwanted energy from personal space and have participated in paranormal events too. Both are very cool to experience. No two clients are alike, no two readings are alike and no two Psychic Mediums are alike. We each have our own style. Not all of
us have the same set of skills. I focused on Tarot as an added form of communication for clients. If a client would like a specific reading with a skill I have not practiced and developed, I refer them to one of my soul sisters with confidence that the client will receive the best possible reading session from that soul sister. I love that we have our Soul Tribe group in which we can provide a variety of services for a client. Should you dear readers decide to experience a psychic medium reading with me, my tips are to keep an open mind with a little bit of skepticism. Have questions prepared, and take notes or record your session. Validate the information and messages when necessary, but do not provide a detailed story. A 30 minute reading is what I recommend for first time clients. 30 minutes will give both the client and me enough time to ensure the style of reading I offer is the correct one for the client. Sometimes a connec tion is not made or the style reading being provided by the psychic medium is not the kind of communication the client is comfortable with. This happens, though not often. If for any reason the client is not comfortable it is ok to end the session. Every reading with me is intended to provide healing, answer questions, offer inspiration, guidance and provide evidential information and messages from the Universe and Spirit. Reconnecting and having a conversation with our loved ones or discovering guidance and inspiration during a reading is possible, after all, the Energies of the Soul live in the Stars and we are all connected by our Energy. I truly love what I do.
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Program offerings: • Aquatics • Senior yoga • Tai Chi • Walking club • Cooking demonstrations • Art/music classes • Healthy seasonal lunches • Educational programs • Much more!
2019
{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }
TEAM MANNPOWER BY OLGA MONACELL
WALKS TO FIND A CURE FOR ALZHEIMER’S On a recent summer morning, I met with Norma Holland Mann, 13WHAM news anchor and host of “Many Voices, Many Visions,” at the iSquare coffee shop. It’s Norma’s favorite place to grab breakfast and coffee in Irondequoit. We talked about her almost 15-year engagement with the Alzheimer’s Association, Rochester and Finger Lakes Region, and her dedication to find a cure for Alzheimer’s and other dementias.
the Association, I realized that my beloved grandmother’s forgetfulness was indicative of dementia. My grandmother, Andrea Alicea Diaz, was in her mid-80s and not formally diagnosed at the time. We later learned she had vascular dementia. Grandma Andrea lived to be 91 and died in 2010. I’m grateful I was able to help care for her. In 2007, my father-in-law Chuck Mann, who was a physically healthy man in his early 70s, began showing symptoms of dementia as well and was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
Q. Norma, earlier this year, you have assumed the role of the volunteer planning committee chair for The Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Canandaigua, but you are not new to this event. You and your family participated in 11 Walks since 2008. Tell us more about your personal and professional connection to the Alzheimer’s Association. A. Early in my career at 13WHAM, I was exploring volunteer opportunities with local nonprofit organizations and looking for a cause I could get behind wholeheartedly. In 2004, I joined the board of the Alzheimer’s Association, Rochester and Finger Lakes Region Chapter. As a journalist, I was familiar with the projection that, as the size and proportion of U.S. population age 65 and older continue to increase, the number of Americans with Alzheimer’s and other dementias would escalate rapidly. However, on a personal level, I didn’t know much about Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. As I was learning more about the disease through my involvement with 264
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Q. Tell me more about your father-in-law’s diagnosis and the effect it had on you and your husband. A. Chuck and my mother-in-law Ruth shared the news with their seven children. The entire family rallied behind their parents. My husband Matthew and his six siblings wanted to know what to expect as their father’s disease progresses. Early on, I connected them to the Alzheimer’s Association. Chuck, Ruth and some of their children attended several workshops
and conferences offered by the Rochester and Finger Lakes chapter. It was a learning experience for everyone. We learned how important for people with Alzheimer’s to retain their dignity. We need to treat them respect and advocate for them because they can’t advocate for themselves. Chuck and Ruth completed an eightweek early-stage orientation series for individuals with the disease and their caregivers. They both enjoyed getting to know other couples that were facing Alzheimer’s or another dementia. Chuck and Ruth believed that, in illness as in life, people hurt themselves emotionally and mentally if they isolate themselves. So, they wanted to do more. Both Chuck and Ruth had lived in Wayne County for most of their lives and felt that, unlike Monroe County, their area lacked resources for those affected by dementia. Ruth and one of Matthew’s sisters started a support group for family caregivers in Wayne County. I credit Chuck, Ruth and my sister-in-law for having the instinct to reach out to other families going through similar experiences so those families know they are not alone. Q. How did Chuck’s disease change your family’s life? A. Once Chuck was diagnosed, he and Ruth decided to build a new house to accommodate his future needs. Sadly, shortly after they moved to their new house, his disease progressed rapidly. Chuck had to go to a memory care unit and, eventually, to a skilled nursing facility. Fortunately, Alzheimer’s never changed his personality, even though I knew it could. This definitely
{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }
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{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY } “We, the Manns, believe that there will be a cure or a treatment developed within our lifetime. If we don’t have that faith, what do we have? “
was his saving grace. He remained as gentle as he used to be. Some female residents at the nursing home would mistake him for their husbands and would want to hold hands with him. It was hard for my mother-in-law to see him holding hands with other women, but she understood Alzheimer’s was invading his mind. Her faith and love for Chuck helped her accept these things. When our oldest daughter Eliana was about two months old, we took her to visit Chuck for the first time. Although he may have not realized she was his granddaughter, he smiled happily at Eliana. My husband, who is a photographer, captured that amazing moment of joy. As a toddler, Eliana went with us to visit Papa Chuck several times. When he passed away in July 2018, my husband told her that Papa Chuck went to sleep and was not coming back. To this day, Eliana still talks about him and, every night, she 266
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prays for Grandma Ruth and Papa Chuck. Q. When did your family begin participating in the Walk to End Alzheimer’s? A. Our extended family began participating in the Walk to End Alzheimer’s in 2008, when Chuck was newly diagnosed. He walked with us the first few years after his diagnosis. Now, we continue to walk in his memory. We call ourselves Team MannPower. We, the Manns, believe that there will be a cure or a treatment developed within our lifetime. If we don’t have that faith, what do we have? I love the Walk. For me, it is not just walking. It is getting together with people who share the same experiences. They make you feel like you are not alone. Q. As the chair of the Canandaigua Walk to End Alzheimer, what would you want Walk participants to know?
A. This is go time. If you have started a team, now it is important to create your team’s identity. Perhaps, you can order t-shirts with the name of your loved one on them, or create other visual elements that will distinguish your team at the Walk. You should also set up your team’s fundraising goal. Ask for a lot, shoot for the stars even though you may not reach that goal. Use social media to raise money. Have fun with your fundraisers. My husband bakes cookies every year and I sell them at work. They are delicious and I ask my coworkers, “You want a cookie, it’s a buck 50 or you can give me $5.” When you are enthusiastic about asking people to donate for the cause, they will give. This year, the Walk to End Alzheimer’s will take place in Canandaigua on October 5, in Elmira on October 19 and in Rochester on October 12. To register your team, visit alz.org. ####
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{ PRODUCT HIGHLIGHT }
WHAT IS PAWTREE? BY MARY DAY
A newer holistic pet supply company called pawTree came about in 2014. Founding member Roger Morgan has many years of experience in helping animals and their owners. He got tired of always answering to other people and decided that he was going to assemble a team of top-notch Veterinarian’s and animal nutritionists with PHD’s to create healthy snacks and foods for our pets. He didn’t just stop at foods and snacks but he also included items for allergies, and many other issues our pets can face. Now you may be asking yourself what makes pawTree different then any other pet supply company out there? Well that is a very simple answer, our team knows every pet’s needs are different. We base our system off of your pet’s profile a short questionnaire that is asked to be filled out.
types of foods due to each of their needs. Now that is not the case for two of the three because I was able input their needs into our system and find products that I could add to the food which I was feeding them that would address each different issue. My five-year-old German Shepard Mix is allergic to almost everything, he was constantly chewing and itching
my baby daily as directed and not only is his coat beautiful but he has also stopped scratching and itching as much. When I saw the changes, it was making I knew that it was a done deal at this point. I had to have more so, I joined the team here at pawTree in the beginning of October and haven’t turned back. Not only is our team top notch and doing great things in their personal business but they are helping those of us who just joined to be successful too. We all have one thing in common we want to help other’s not just human but animals as well. This is where I created Mommas Pet Supply here in Rochester, N.Y., and I am excited that I get to share it with everyone.
Once that is filled out our Vet’s and animal nutritionists give you a list of products that we carry that can and will help make your pet’s health better and also save you time, money, and agony of trying a million different products.
due to his allergy to fleas. I have spent thousands of dollars on all kinds of medications and products to try and correct this issue. I ran into a young lady, online of all places and explained what I was going through with him and she said we have a product that can help that issue.
Now you’re probably saying yeah right. Well I can personally attest to our items being great products. I have three dogs who were all on different
I was very skeptical about it because of all the failures before, but decided to try it. I ordered a bottle of the Salmon Oil and started giving it to
Our vision here at pawTree is simple. We want to create a world filled with unconditional love where pets and their people thrive. We have a 100% satisfaction policy in effect, try the products and if you do not like them, we will refund you the money you spent no questions asked. The pawTree difference- See a difference, Feel a difference, Make a difference!
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{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
KALISTA KASSIDY PHOTOS BY MARISA NICODEMUS
Hey everyone! I’m Kalista Kassidy, to start off I want to give you a little background about myself and my career. I am a model, actress, dancer and social media influencer. I live in Rochester, NY where I am currently homeschooling, and I’m also a full-time nanny. My plan is to move to NYC and eventually LA to pursue my career in the entertainment industry. I began modeling at a very young age and instantly loved every second of being in front of the camera, and that’s definitely still true till this day. Living in Rochester you wouldn’t think that there’s many opportunities for what I want to do, but these past few years I’ve been given many incredible opportunities to further my
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career and I continue to find so many ways to better myself. From working with local companies, photographers, makeup artists and hair stylists to working with people and brands all over the world. I even take acting classes on Skype with some very well-known actors, and casting directors in LA. I was recently just in two Biore ad campaigns, I’m on a professional dance team in Rochester, The Lancer Dancers, I’ve walked in NYFW twice, and I was also a dancer for America’s Voices on Tour. My schedule is non-stop, and I LOVE it! None of this could be possible without the love, support and guidance of my family, but specifically my amazing mom/momager. She has been with me every step of the way through this and every single project that
I work on couldn’t be done without her. I recently worked with two very talented people in Rochester on a unique project. We came up with an idea to incorporate gold glitter. Marisa MN Photography captured everything that I envisioned plus more, and Aud Makeup Artistry did everything from my makeup, to my hair and the body paint. Everyone was so creative and I am always looking for new concepts to add to my portfolio. This project was perfect and something that I’ve never done before. I mean, what girl doesn’t love a little sparkle?! To perfect this look Audrey used gold glitter hair spray on my upper body, and also incorporated the gold look into my makeup.
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The theme was definitely GOLD! Marisa found the perfect gold backdrop that we used for some of the shots. Throughout the shoot we played around with the lighting, switched up the backdrop and eventually ended up using a piece of scrap metal. Marisa reflected lighting off of it which really changed up the whole look. Throughout the shoot we had so many different looks by changing up my hair and makeup. To see a step by step look on how we created this look, I have a YouTube video of an inside look of the whole process on 286
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my channel. Just go to youtube.com/c/ KalistaKassidy. One thing that I feel is very important to mention before I end is that I am a very petite model, I am only 5’1. As many of you know I’m sure, most models are much taller than me. Pursing my career in this industry I hope to be able to break the trend of the height requirements as a model. I believe that there are no limitations when it comes to beauty no matter the weight, height, or skin color.
Instagram: @kalistakassidy YouTube: youtube.com/c/KalistaKassidy Contact: kalista@kalistakassidy.com
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{ LALA’S WORLD }
INTRODUCING LALA’S BY LISA SCHLONSKI
Lala’s is a unique gift shop located in the village of Webster. I recently opened in November 2018 and have been welcomed into the business district by some many other businesses, customers, and local Webster residents. As a long-time Webster resident myself I was also longing for some “new life” to crop up and make Webster a happening place. Who knew that I would start a business that would be a part of that landscape? What a ride I am on.
I’ll answer to anything. Life is short, as we all know, so I wanted to create a happy place for others. I’m not good at putting myself first and am happy living in that space. However, I have learned that it is IMPORTANT to set aside
My name is Lisa Schlonski. Brutal truth…I became a widow at 49, my son without his dad at 11. Pancreatic cancer. Less than 6 months after diagnosis. Now what do we do? That is the ride I am currently on. And, amazingly, I find myself happy (except…you know…missing my hubby). I felt a strong shift the day our lives changed. I knew that I had to rally the troops to persevere through these times. It was such a perfect way for me to grieve by helping others. I have a strong network of family and friends that enabled me to work at that level. For the past 4 years I’ve had a lot of ups and downs, of course, but Lala’s is my biggest, positive yet! Taking what I’ve learned over the past 4 years and passing that on to others has become my mantra…to laugh and love always (Lala for short). Lala is also my childhood nickname because my sister’s couldn’t say Lisa. To this day I’m Lala, or just plain La, 292
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time, alone, to do whatever to re-center or decompress. It doesn’t have to be a long time, but dedicated to you time. Someone recently gave me a refrigerator magnet that says “When someone told me
I lived in a fantasy land, I nearly fell off my unicorn.” LOVE IT! When things get really stressful I joke around saying “I’m riding my unicorn over a rainbow to a field of peacocks!” This is a great visual for me which causes me to smile. Mission accomplished! Although Lala’s may not invoke that same sentiment the experience of entering the shop and walking around is what I’ve focused on. I own a gift shop because I want to, not because I have to. I am extremely fortunate, my husband planned well. I have thoroughly enjoyed researching products, talking with customers, and learning about so many things. So what is Lala’s? I’m a gift shop of unique items. I sell essential oil by the drop so more people will experiment with the different scents, at a much lower cost, to find something special while they start their aromatherapy journey. I have a luxurious body care and perfume line that is “clean” from crazy bad ingredients. The same is true for our candles, skincare, makeup, soaps, and lotions. We have children items such as crazy socks, fun pens and pencils, kits, stress balls, bookmarks, and fun lip glosses (Unicorn and Cloud to be exact!). Everyday gifts for birthday’s and baby showers along with a fun,
{ LALA’S WORLD } “As a long-time Webster resident myself I was also longing for some “new life” to crop up and make Webster a happening place. ”
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started to carry inspirational books and card decks to challenge each day with a thought-provoking question. What’s most important to know about all of these choices I made is that these companies have a “giving back” program of their own or they help other organizations. That was most important to me as it is aligned with my personal mission statement: give back. However, Lala’s is also about working with local vendors. I have some seriously cool items from around town. There 294
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are some talented people out there making unique items, which are highly sought after items by Lala customers. One vendor is a 3rd generation mason specializing in unique jewelry pieces incorporating that trade! Another is a dynamo team of two women creating a unique bracelet design that works from beach to black-tie events. Several vendors create unique earrings, all different styles, that fit many outfits and events. Another vendor brought back hand painted jewelry from Thailand and other unique earring and bracelets from wood, bone
and horn. Wild! Gemstones and glass bead necklaces, earrings and bracelets. A Webster vendor that designed a line of jewelry to foster hope while a friend was going through another round of cancer. A local vendor, who teams up with other local businesses, to create unique lip balms and scrubs using their products. My next local vendor developed a mindfulness card and journal kit and just came out with a book! Well, enough talk of Lala’s, isn’t it time for a visit?
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{ DISHING WITH THE DIVA’S }
THE TRIBELLA - TREATMENT #1 BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY MICHAEL CRISAFULLI
The Divas stopped in at Laser Skincare of Rochester. We will be sharing results of the treatments we chose over the span of the next few months. Check out the live feeds on RWO’s Facebook page if you are interested in watching some of the procedures as they were being done. As women, we often experience less than favorable issues with our skin as we age, are exposed to sun or simply have issues which we seek out treatment in our quest to remain beautiful. Technology has evolved to allow for some awesome treatments which minimize the signs or aging or skin damage. Laser Skincare of Rochester offers some amazing treatments to help us in seeking to look better. Diva 1 can attest to the fact that many women do not look into these new laser treatments because it is scary. We don’t want to test-drive anything on our face as what if it doesn’t work? What if I look worst after undergoing a treatment? Also, people may think seeking these treatments are expensive or there is down-time involved. We soon learned taking the time to investigate what kind of treatments are available and the aspects of those treatments were something very livable and the results after just one treatment were absolutely amazing. Diva One shares: “I’m usually not the one seeking facial treatments. I usually leave that to Kelly Breuer. The availability of so many things in the medical spa industry leaves you with a headache trying to figure out which option is for you. It’s confusing and it is scary. We all see the hazards of taking chances when scrolling through 302
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Facebook and see the horror stories of some unfavorable outcomes. This coupled with the fear of the unknown, often stops us from investigating further whether any of the medical spa treatments are something we would like to try”. Laser Skincare of Rochester offers a supportive, knowledgeable staff who make you feel comfortable upon entering the spa. The atmosphere is relaxing and inviting. The friendliness of the staff is unremarkable. The fear you have is overcome almost immediately as they walk you through determining what treatments are right for you.
Diva one has rosacea, some faint aging spots and little red capillaries which are visible mostly only to her. Due to the constant weight-loss struggle, she also dislikes the appearance of a double chin and bags under her eyes. After reviewing this, the staff suggested a treatment regime which included Tribella treatment, skin tightening and resurfacing. This was three different treatment regimes offered in one session at the spa.
Tribella is a laser style treatment of Venus Versa. It combines three, procedures which are non-surgical in nature. The results indicate you will experience smoother, younger, healthier looking skin which can be visible after just one treatment. The system is a combo treatment of photo-facial, antiaging and skin resurfacing allowing for a correction in tone, reducing age spots and sun damage, erasing fine lines, firming up skin and treating skin textural conditions such as rosacea, enlarged pores and scars. Tribella is also a photo-facial procedure that combines resurfacing using the synergistic fusion technique giving you the ultimate combined treatment. The IPL photo-facial treats ailments such as redness, broken facial vessels and brown aging spots. It can be used on other areas such as the neck, feet, back, arms, legs upper chest and even hands. Through the use of intense pulsed light and SmartPulse technology, the machine used shoots pulses of intense light. You don’t experience any pain with this treatment and there are only a few days of downtime where you can experience redness to the area treated. The skin tightening procedures treat the effects of aging focusing on loose skin. This treatment is again used on a variety of areas and rebuilds collagen giving the area which is treated structure and definition. All of the treatments are non-surgical. They can be combined together at one treatment session. The entire day was enjoyable, and I never experienced any discomfort. It is shocking after the treatment as your skin appears like you have a bad sunburn but
{ DISHING WITH THE DIVA’S } “Tribella is a laser style treatment of Venus Versa. It combines three, procedures which are non-surgical in nature.”
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{{ RWO’S UNLIMITED TRAVELING COACHING DIVA }}
{ DISHING WITH THE DIVA’S } “The treatments were not uncomfortable. I did not experience any pain. We started to see changes immediately after the treatment.”
that fades quickly, and you start to enjoy your improved results instantly. The redness faded over the span of two days. As with most treatments, the consumer bears some responsibility in following the after-care instructions which include avoiding sun exposure, avoiding hot baths or Jacuzzis and pools ( limiting bacterial exposure to treated areas). Additionally, you avoid using products such as makeup or other products on your face for 24 hours. RWO will be covering the progress and results of the treatments done at Laser Skincare of Rochester over the next several months, in future editions so make sure to check it out! 308
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Diva One shares:“I must admit I was skeptical coming in for the treatments. My skin was basically never an issue for me outside of having redness, the broken vessels which are barely visible and faint light brown pigments. No one else notices any of that but me. Most of us conceal minor issues with make-up. I always notice these things and they bother me. The redness is always a problem and I use products such as green concealer to offset it when doing my make-up. This becomes an issue at times when doing photo shoots. The treatments were not uncomfortable. I did not experience any pain. We started to see changes immediately after the treatment. The series is being done in three treatments.
We are documenting the procedures with photos so our readers can follow along and also see how effective the treatments are. I think as consumers, we fear new treatments, we are skeptical and expect results instantly which doesn’t always happen. We think some of these treatments are outside our budget, which they are very economical surprisingly”. I invite our readers to follow us on this journey. I hope the series is educational and quells some of the fears of seeking treatments to enhance your appearance. Fear of the unknown is disabling. Join us as we share with you these services. Hopefully, you will step out of your comfort zone and come in for a free consultation.
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2423 Monroe ave Rochester, New York 14618 (585) 417-5189 www.laserskincareofrochester.com
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{ MENTALLY THINKING }
ADAPTING TO CHANGE BY BONNIE FLOYD
Change is inevitable throughout each of our lives. From the moment that we are born we face multiple types of changes. We change with respect to our physical appearances, as well as our physical and cognitive capabilities. We experience changes in our families of origin, our friendships, and our personal relationships. Some changes throughout our lives are planned, whereas others are totally unexpected. We intentionally plan to select a specific major in college, but we never expect to experience a significant car accident. Certain changes are relatively trivial; others are undeniably monumental in nature. Changes may induce a wide variety of emotions, including happiness, sadness, elation, relief, hope, joy, guilt, disappointment, fear, anxiety, despair, discouragement, a n g e r, f r u s t r a t i o n , or encouragement. Sometimes, we experience multiple different types of emotions when changes take place. The same change may cause different types of emotional responses, based upon when it takes place in our lives. For example, losing a parent during early childhood is significantly different than losing a parent during middle age. Being diagnoses with a serious illness is substantially different for those 314
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who feel socially isolated, compared to those who report having an adequate support system. Some changes are relatively short-term, such as receiving a bad haircut. Other changes are completely irreversible, including the death of a loved one. Certain changes are intentionally chosen, such as selecting a college to attend; other changes are unexpectedly forced upon us, including reception of a
respond favorable to change. They are prone to interpreting changes as challenges, rather than obstacles. Those individuals who lean toward pessimism are generally at a disadvantage when responding to change; they are much more likely to focus upon what they have lost as a result of change. Should changes happen to involve substantial loss, they have the potential to induce profound grief reactions. Such reactions are analogous to the stages of death and dying with which most of us are very familiar: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Individuals who are grieving do not necessarily experience each of these stages, nor do they necessarily occur in a linear fashion. Each stage of the grieving process is marked by varying degrees of intensity, as well as duration.
medical diagnosis.
It’s critically important to allow others, as well as ourselves, adequate time for grieving the losses induced by changes.
How we choose to react to the changes that take place in our lives ultimately makes a huge difference on their impact upon us. Whereas we may have zero control over a specific change that occurs, we do have control in how we choose to respond to that change. In general, those individuals who tend to be more positive are more likely to
We may recycle through the stages of death and dying multiple times, in fact. It’s important to remember that these stages do not exclusively apply to the physical loss of an important individual in our lives. We also experience these stages of grieving whenever we are faced with serious physical and/or emotional illnesses or injuries.
{ MENTALLY THINKING } “While it is very important to take excellent care of our physical health, it’s also essential to be regularly mindful of our state of mental health.”
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{ {RWO’S MENTALLY MENTAL THINKING HEALTH} } “Receiving professional therapy for improved coping with change initially involves the recognition of fully grieving one’s losses.”
Certain changes involve adaptation to the loss of what might have been, whether that loss occurs in our personal or professional lives. For example, a broken engagement may induce a powerful sense of loss. We may be consumed with thoughts of how we thought our life was supposed to turn out, rather than the stark reality of how it is. Being passed up for a desired promotion at work is a change that creates a substantial degree of loss. Again, we engage in the process of mourning how we thought things were supposed to be in our lives. Some individuals seem to chase changes throughout their lives. They appear to 316
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crave the adrenaline rush of novelty, whether it be in their personal appearance, relationships, careers, or housing. Others are very much creatures of habit. They resist change of any sort, and they actively go out of their way to avoid making changes.
recognize when one’s personal challenges exceed one’s personal resources for optimal adjustment to change. Such professional help may be relatively shortterm for some individuals; occasionally, outside assistance is needed for longer periods of time.
Sometimes, we’re capable of successfully responding to the changes that occur throughout our lives. Other times, we may require professional assistance to successfully cope with changes in our lives. In no way does seeking outside help imply that we are personally weak, inadequate, or flawed.
Receiving professional therapy for improved coping with change initially involves the recognition of fully grieving one’s losses. Working with a therapist may accelerate achieving acceptance of the impact of changes that occur throughout our lives. Furthermore, obtaining professional assistance facilitates the process of redefining our lives after change has taken place.
In fact, it’s really a sign of strength to
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{ SECOND LOOK }
BUY FIRST, OR BUY SECOND? BY SARA PAVIA
Why you should Shop and Support the Secondhand Movement Whether you are a shopper or not, most people find it exciting to come across items for a great price whether on sale or marked down. No matter your budget, the thrill of a sale can be the same for us all. In the world of secondhand shopping, not only can you find items on a bargain at any budget point but you also are practicing sustainable living by shopping at secondhand stores (and if you’re a thrifter, don’t forget the thrill of the hunt!) When defining secondhand, shops range from thrift stores, consignment, resale, or vintage – they all have clothes that are either given or donated (there’s even a digital marketplace such as sites like ThredUp, or of course Second Look). Clothing within these boutiques are most times in gentle use and worn briefly, or they come completely new with tags. In my world, Second Look focuses solely around the design and styling of wardrobes, homes, and events with exclusively secondhand finds. Antiques, garage sales, thrift stores, consignment – you name it, I use them all to help build mine and others dream wardrobes and spaces. It is amazing what you can find, and to know you’re supporting the environment by keeping textiles and fabrics out of landfills of previously used clothing. While there is much buzz about the resources being 322
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used by fast fashion production and companies, I’m not here to suggest you shouldn’t support your favorite retailers – but rather you take a Second Look at shopping secondhand and supporting a sustainable living style. If you need reasons to shop secondhand boutiques and stores, then here are a few myths to put to rest (and remember
consignment location and found multiple items, new with tag, which were donated or sold from someone’s closet. All secondhand stores in some form have policies in place to ensure clothing smells smoke-free, has limited wear or signs of, no stains, holes or rips and that things are in good if not great condition. Regardless if they’re new or not, they’re still new to you by your own standards and wearable as such in your image. Myth: Secondhand clothing are all things off-trend.
if you’re interested in supporting the environment but not doing the shopping, I’m happy to do it all for you!): Myth: Secondhand means the clothes are pre-worn or unwearable. This is actually one of my favorite myths to expel. I can’t count the number of times I have gone to any thrift or
While there are plenty of “throwback” options at secondhand stores (and who doesn’t love some fun vintage finds!) not everything you come across is solely from another era. As is true with most things, that which is old becomes new again – and the cycle of fashion is no different. While you may find fun retro pieces you can repurpose or upcycle for your wardrobe, there are also plenty of on-trend items that are sitting on the shelves waiting to be added to your closet. And besides, if you love something don’t let anyone or any trend deter it – rock it and make it your own! You can also get creative with items as well. Myth: Shopping secondhand doesn’t change anything for the environment. This is definitely a fun myth to bust! When you shop secondhand, that piece of clothing has already been made and already entered into the fashion cycle.
{ SECOND LOOK } “In the world of secondhand shopping, not only can you find items on a bargain at any budget point but you also are practicing sustainable living by shopping at secondhand stores (and if you’re a thrifter, don’t forget the thrill of the hunt!) ”
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{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
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{ SECOND LOOK } “Whether you are a shopper or not, most people find it exciting to come across items for a great price whether on sale or marked down.”
No new materials need to be used to create a new look in mass quantities – and often at the detriment to our environment. Purchasing secondhand helps to keep items out of landfills, and let’s be honest that’s better anyways because fashion doesn’t deserve to be in the garbage!
the movement by donating those pieces you’re no longer invested in. They’ll suit someone’s needs better, and you’ll feel good knowing you contributed to the green fashion movement.
and a great project that I can’t wait to show off and say was my own creation.
The experience can be a fun and exciting way to repurpose items.
So, if there are so many myths around secondhand – then tell me why I should shop it? That’s a great question – let’s get started:
No matter the item, the moment you take clothing home from a secondhand
No matter what you purchase, you are either re-wearing something that someone else has resold or donated, or at least contributing to the cycle of sustainable fashion. If you’re a vintage shopper you also have the chance to reminisce about the woman before you who wore that similar piece and not only who she was but how she felt when she styled it. It’s taking a piece of history with you and recreating it in your own image. I often look at trendy items from different times and smile thinking about the woman before me – I walk away hoping I can style it just as well as I’m sure she did!
It’s perfect for the budget-conscious shopper. Whether you’re looking for core pieces to add to your capsule wardrobe, or some colorful pieces to jazz up with a fast fashion approach – shopping secondhand can help you add styles of any genre or need to your wardrobe. Even if you have an event coming up that you need a one-time look for – secondhand can have you covered at a cost that will be affordable but still make you feel like a million bucks. Even sites like Rent the Runway are taking the digital scene by storm, allowing us to continue to reuse and re-wear items already in production. It’s an opportunity to practice sustainable living and prevent waste. Let’s be honest, we all have items in our homes collecting dust that we either dispose of or if compelled donate. Not only should you purchase secondhand looks but you should also contribute to
store you’re already giving it new life. You may wear as-is, or you may repurpose it – either way it’s a subjective and personal shopping experience that lets you tailor the items you find to your personality and style. For example, I recently purchased a vintage 1980’s denim jacket. I’m a Disney nut, and my plan is to sew patches from Disney and buttons on the jacket as a keepsake I can wear on trips to colder months at the park. For $3 I get a fun jacket,
Shopping secondhand has a communal affect.
In closing, secondhand and sustainable style is not only a large part of our fashion scene but it’s growing quickly in popularity as others see the effect it can have on our planet and the feel-good attitude it gives to both your closet and wardrobe. Ethical fashion is where it’s at, and green style never felt so good. Take a Second Look and be surprised by what you could find. If you’re interested in learning more about secondhand and sustainable fashion practices, you can reach out to Sarah at secondlookroc@gmail.com or even have her shop for you! You never know what treasures you could walk away with! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ LIFESPAN }
BREAKING THE SILENCE ABOUT ELDER ABUSE BY MARY ROSE MCBRIDE
My mom used to say to us, “Kids if this happens to me, just shoot me.” She was referring to the Alzheimer’s disease that ravaged her mother. Alzheimer’s turned my grandmother into someone we didn’t recognize. She screamed when my mother washed her. She sat at the kitchen table talking gibberish, and constantly moved her hands as if trying to clean the table. It was after one of the more trying bathroom episodes that my mom said, “Kids, if this happens to me, just shoot me.”
A single caregiver, over time, evolved into two, three and eventually, during the last year of her life, seven caregivers working 24/7. Our dad was determined to keep her at home, and we did. We are convinced she lived as long as she did because of the care she received from seven dedicated women. Like my mom, I am the oldest of my siblings. I think…is that a trend? I look for the signs in myself – sometimes I can’t come up with a word or recall the name of one of my perennials. Normal aging they say. Unlike
It did happen, and we didn’t shoot her, but I still hear her voice saying those words. Unlike my grandmother’s illness, Alzheimer’s never stole my mom’s personality. She was mostly happy, rarely angry. Always a wonderful cook, her Sunday dinners became limited to four recipes, then two, then none. We missed her Sunday sauce. Though she forgot how to cook, she didn’t forget that Sundays were meant for family. So, on Mondays the phone calls would begin. “Hi honey, it’s mom. Honey, what should we do about dinner on Sunday?” The same call would happen Tuesdays, Wednesdays… As the illness stages came and went, we scrambled to keep pace. To make it easier for our father, my sister and I chose her clothes for a week - labeling each hanger with a day of the week. We had to simplify her clothes – certain necklines or small buttons were problematic when dressing her. A little too late, we recognized that our dad needed a break from always having mom with him. We hired a wonderful companion who spent afternoons with her. Following a bout of the flu, her mobility took a dive, and we needed more help than a companion could provide. We hired our first caregiver who said to my sister and I, “Just think of me as the paid daughter.” “Yes,” we said. “We definitely need a paid daughter.”
my mom, I’ve kept physically fit, eat a mainly Mediterranean diet and keep reading. Unlike my mom, I won’t retire at 60 – I have got to keep this mind active. I’ve seen the impact of Alzheimer’s firsthand, I pray not to know it personally, but I also work in the field of aging, at Lifespan of Greater Rochester. Five days a week, I write about aging from the perspective of its challenges and its opportunities. Like many of my colleagues, I receive calls, texts, emails from friends who are experiencing eldercare difficulties. National research tells us the “typical” caregiver is a 47-year-old, working daughter who provides care for her mom. That care may be as simple as weekly runs for groceries or as challenging as living with a parent with dementia, Parkinson’s or other chronic
and/or progressive disease. The need for caregiving happens when someone is not able to perform what are known as activities of daily living. Handling money and making meals are examples. Transferring from chair to standing, walking independently, dressing, bathing and eating are other activities of daily living – activities that most of us take for granted. My organization, Lifespan, helps older adults take on both the challenges and opportunities of longer life. We provide information, guidance and services that help older adults and caregivers connect to options and make decisions. At Lifespan, you can find everything from care management to scams prevention to minor home modifications to centers where older adults gather to socialize, learn and have fun. Last year, we assisted 39,000 older adults and family caregivers. Lifespan also is home to the Finger Lakes Caregiver Institute. In partnership with the Alzheimer’s Association, we help caregivers with expert advice and support and information about care options and the financing of those options. One important lesson learned from my family’s experience is do not wait to ask for help. When my mom would decline after a plateau, we always seemed to wait six months too long to react which caused stress and exhaustion. And I work in the field! I’m surrounded by experts in eldercare. I cannot imagine how difficult this journey is for families who are not aware of resources that can help them. And sometimes, we don’t see ourselves as “caregivers.” We are simply daughters, sons, wives, husbands caring for someone we love. Don’t take it on alone. When describing what we do at Lifespan, I often liken our role to that of a travel agent. You don’t know the terrain, but there are people who do know the landscape, people who can help you take on your caregiving role with information, guidance and support.
{ WRONGFULLY CONVICTED }
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{ IN HER DEFENSE }
INVASION OF YOUR SAFETY BY DAVE JENKINS
This recurring column by David S Jenkins of Rochester Personal Defense, LLC will explore different areas and methods of personal protection and self-defense. Topics will range from using specific tools, techniques, or even yourself and your mind as the weapon. The goal is to create a more aware and safer you! Questions or suggestions are welcome! Over time, I get asked quite a few questions regarding personal defense. It is interesting the different types of questions that I will hear from all types of people, in all walks a of life. What I have found is that everyone is concerned about the same things. Here are a few that I have answered in recent months: Q: I leave work late in the evening and I must walk nearly ¼ mile to my car from the hospital. What can I do in case I am jumped?”- Anne A: There are many things that you can do to be proactive. The best thing is to not be distracted, keep your head up and eyes scanning in a relaxed manner. Think of it this way: enjoy the scenery, look at people, look at things around you – interact with life! Predatory type people will look for signs that you are not paying attention. They want to get close to you and prevent you from seeing them approach or stop you from having any reaction time once they get close. Keeping your head up and eyes looking around presents an image of awareness and readiness that can work in your favor. The second option is to take our EQUALIZER self defense course to learn what you can do should an attack occur. Q: My company bought us all whistles for self-defense. How good are they really? Connie A: Unfortunately, not very good. that was 332
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a feel good, inexpensive attempt at a very important solution that requires much more than just handing out whistles. Investing in a true self defense course that teaches physical skills will do a better job of allowing you to be safer. This course should be more than just a short, 2hr seminar. The skills need time to develop by repetition and feedbacksomething you won’t get in a short seminar. If your company is unwilling to do a course for you, then you should take the initiative and obtain the training yourself.
day. When an MCI happens at a mall, we usually think of our teenage youths. When it happens at a school, we think about our younger kids. At church? We react with horror because of the supposed sanctity and security of our churches. What can we do about them? Learn what factors contribute to an MCI, Learn how to prevent, minimize, and eliminate the threat of an MCI and we are much better off. Q: I was given pepper spray a few years ago as a gift. Someone just told me that it was illegal for me to have, is this true? - Julie L A: Pepper spray is perfectly legal in NY State. I encourage everyone to carry some as it can be an effective self defense tool when used properly. Legally, you can use your pepper spray if you reasonably feel that someone is threatening you and they are about to grab you, hurt you, or worse. If your spray is more than 2 years old, I would also suggest replacing it with a newer one. The spray units do have an expiration date.
Q: I see all these stories about church and school shootings, and it seems as if it’s a huge issue. Is that true? If so, what can I do about it? – Kurt M A: Kurt: That’s a good question. Here’s the short answer. The average person’s chances of being in a school, church, or crowded area where someone enters and starts hurting or killing people is still VERY minimal. You have a far greater chance of being in a car accident or house fire than you do of being in an MCI (Mass Casualty Incident). The overlying factor is the emotional response to these incidents. That’s what keeps us focused on these incidents and makes it seem as if they are happening almost every
Q: What can I teach my 7 year old about self-defense?- Mark Z A: Actually, quite a bit. Younger kids are rarely taught how to defense themselves because people will think they are too small or not able to understand. Trust me, they are fully capable of taking care of themselves. You must give them permission to do it! In our youth self defense courses, we teach them about recognizing people based on their actions, words, and how they feel around others. Kids have a well tuned sense of intuition that has not been dampened by adult life (yet). If a child or youth says they are not comfortable around someone or they don’t like them, take that as a warning sign.
{ IN HER DEFENSE }
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{ IN HER DEFENSE } “Over time, I get asked quite a few questions regarding personal defense. It is interesting the different types of questions that I will hear from all types of people, in all walks a of life.”
As for physical skills, kids can learn just about every skill an adult can. Those skills may not be as fully effective as an adult, but they will work. Q: I have been curious about guns for a while but do not know where to go. I want to learn how to shoot a handgun. How do I start?- Lisa K A: Wonderful! In NY State, if you are over 21, you must obtain a pistol license in order to handle or shoot a handgun legally. I know, this sounds backwards, but that’s how NY State’s laws are written. Obtaining a license is not that difficult. We have a service that can guide you through the first steps of filling out the paperwork, selecting a handgun, and even how to be safe in the operation and carry of your new handgun. Being curious is one of the best ways to discover the world of firearms. A lot of people do not know where to go to ask, or who would be a good resource to learn from. From experience, most people are not – unless they have been taught by a professional instructor, or if they themselves are a professional instructor. Just because someone owns a handgun does not mean they know what they should know to
be a good resource for you. Come see us, we have NY State’s largest training group for firearms training. Q: What would you suggest I can do for better home security?- William F A: We can start with the basics. Better locks on your doors and windows. Oh, and actually USE THEM!. Most of your standard locks are not high security. You’ll want to look for locks made by Master, Schlage, Medeco, Yale, or Baldwin. Don’t buy the cheapest ones either. Buy the mid to higher grade as they will have better locks, longer deadbolts, and better keying systems. Your deadbolt should go at least 1” into the door frame and into the framing. If the deadbolt and handle are within 12” of each other, they may as well be one lock. You’ll want a wider distance to better secure the door. Get good window locks as well. Replace the older, worn out ones. They will seal much better and make it harder to slip the lock to open the window. Use exterior lighting. Make a ring of light around your home that people must walk through.
Get an alarm (Use this one too!). There are MANY locally run and monitored companies that are great. (Keystone Security Systems is one of them). An alarm may be inconvenient but the security it offers outweighs the extra work. Know your neighbors. In today’s world, we tend to focus inward and not outward. Knowing your neighbors will allow you to know who is normally in your area, who stands out, what the normal, everyday life activity can be, and what is not. A neighborhood that looks out for one another experiences far less crime than one where no one knows anyone. Look Dave Jenkins up on his company’s website at www.safeinrochester.com, or call him at 585-406-6758. He always more than willing to educate, chat, or work with you to obtain your goal of education and safety. Rochester Personal Defense, LLC and The LionsPride Training Group are the area’s predominant self-defense and personal protection education companies. Come find out why!
{ YOU MATTER }
BEING CONSIDERATE BY JUDI SWANSON
I love fireworks. The spectacular manner in which they illuminate the sky, those booms you know are coming yet always surprise you. Fireworks are a special thing to be enjoyed. New Year’s Eve, 4th of July, Labor Day, festivals, concerts, or special events.
the nightly, hours on end, fireworks are inconsiderate of others. Do I think these folks are intentional in causing distress? Nope. I just feel they are not considering others. Now that I have finished venting my frustration let’s look more at consideration.
I do not enjoy them nightly for hours for weeks. Don’t.
Being considerate means that you have put some thought and feeling into how your actions impact someone else. It is showing thoughtfulness for another human. Too often there is a lack of consideration towards others. People can be inconsiderate. Our
The week before and ongoing after the 4th of July in the area that we live there are a plethora of nightly firework loving folks. Weekdays and weekends have been booms and sizzles coming from around us, hours on end. Our dog Bella gets completely freaked out. She tries to dig into anything she can to get away from the noise. We do everything we can to keep her comfortable from thunder vests, classical music, calming chews, fans, special space in a closet. The nightly fireworks have created weeks of nightly torture for her. If the fireworks were contained completely to the 4th (perhaps the night before and after) I would get it. My frustration lies with all the other days of the week. I realize I am venting. The ongoing fireworks causes my dog distress which is upsetting to me. It makes me think about how this has an effect on individuals with PTSD, military veterans, other traumas, other fur babies, people who have to get up early to go to work. What about consideration for those folks? As I thought about all of this the word consideration came to mind. It feels like 336
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needs, wants, desires come above anyone else. This is not at all like self-care which it to take healthy positive actions for your mental and physical wellbeing. This is being out for yourself. Here is another example of inconsideration. A few months ago I went to my health club for a class. I take classes as I work out harder when I am around others than on my own. When it is just me I can easily talk myself out of fitness. Classes keep me accountable. I parked in an area far away from the doors with minimal cars around to get in some
healthy steps. After class when I came to my car another car had parked so close to my car door I could not get in. There was no room to squeeze to get to my door. It was raining and as I stood there pondering how to get in my car the driver came to her car. She apologized for the parking. Her reason was that she was late to class. Do I think her actions were intentional? Nope. Do I think she at that point in time was only thinking of herself and her needs? Yes. There have been times all of us, myself included, have taken actions that have been inconsiderate of others. All of us. Even though I live my life with the intention of kindness and caring I am not perfect. None of us are. It seems like one action that gets people fired up is when a road is being reduced to one lane and letting people in. Many individuals DO NOT want to let the other cars in when they feel the other car has not merged lanes at the appropriate moment. Since when has any of us been judge and jury of when to merge. Why not just let the car in and feel good for doing something for someone else? We rush to get the closest parking spot to the store, be the first in line. What are we seeking when we do that? An article in Dr.Driving.org written by Dr. Leon James and Dr. Diane Nahl states that parking lot fights are “turf wars, power struggles, symbolic fights that arouse our pride”. What is the race, the turf war, what is the prize we are trying to win, and at
“I love fireworks. The spectacular manner in which they illuminate the sky, those booms you know are coming yet always surprise you.�
{ YOU MATTER } “Being considerate means that you have put some thought and feeling into how your actions impact someone else. ”
what or whose expense? Is this a long term moment of feeling good or short lived? I believe we can change for the better. When we change for the better we feel empowered, more loving about ourselves and the world around us. Our sense of selfimportance can tell us that we need to look out for ourselves first. To park wherever we want, not share, take what we need for us without consideration for others. When we act in this manner do we feel better in the long run? Nope. There are times I battle my need to be first. 338
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To not share because what if there is not enough? I do know that when I act with thoughtfulness, empathy, consideration I always feel better about the person I am. Every time. It works like a charm. It never feels right when I am out for me first just to be out for me. Never. Eeyore for Winnie the Pooh has a great about looking at consideration “A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference”. Eeyore is right! So wonderful, amazing humans let’s stretch ourselves to be more considerate. Yep let’s
stretch and grow. To put thought into the actions you take and how it could impact others. To apologize and have empathy for others. Share, open doors, let cars merge in your lane, give up your parking spot, and smile your glorious smile at others. You never know what difference your action will mean to another person. You never know what difference your action will mean for yourself. May your consideration be with you!
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{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE }
UNMANAGED LIFE BY GIOVANNA WALTON
How many of you are tired of hearing about stabbings, shootings, death by suicide, murders and overall violence? Doesn’t it make you sad or angry? Killings. Every time you turn the news on or scroll Facebook, someone has been shot or stabbed. Even today , as I’m writing this, 2 people were shot. One is a 17 yo who was shot in the leg and the other was shot in the chest. No age or gender was mentioned for that person. Children are being killed or doing the killing. Mothers and fathers are committing suicide and some killing their children in the process. Suicide is at an all time high. Young children and teens are taking their own life! People are shooting up schools, movie theaters, places of business, beaches. People stealing (taking things that is not theirs like a bike for example), mugging (usually with a knife/gun while someone is standing or walking) , robbing (taking money from banks/stores). All that I’ve mentioned is still with intent to do bodily harm in one way or another. All of it is senseless. Everyone has their own theory. Well, I certainly have mine. You may agree and you may not. That’s ok. You might even be able to add to what I’m saying--I only have so much I can write and submit. Here’s my opinion. We have lost our compassion for people, actually, for life in general. Our country was built on a belief in God. We’ve taken Him out of our schools, our homes and anywhere else He’s been. Hell, we even have people not wanting to stand for the flag! Why? The country that held you also gave you the possibility to earn millions of dollars too! I’m talking about the sports stars, musicians, singers, actors and actresses etc. Little by little, we are becoming desensitized, not only as citizens but as 342
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people in general. There were things that we once held sacred like family, friendships and just being decent to one another. If times have changed its because WE CHANGED THEM!!!! It just didn’t happen by itself because another year passed by. It’s because WE ALLOWED IT! WE ACCEPTED IT! We let go of God and our values, morals, ethics and replaced them with garbage yet we still expect it to be like it use to. A few months back, I wrote on how kids are ruling households. They are! Watch when you go into a store and the kids ask for things. The parent does one of two things, says ‘No’ and then gives it to them anyway after their temper tantrum (not the parent/s lol) OR they just give it to them. It doesn’t matter if they worked for it or earned it. Anything to shut the kid up. Anything so that once they are at home, they don’t have to be bothered to watch or entertain them. The majority of parents and I’m going to include grandparents, are ruining kids. Newsflash, kids learn what you teach them! THEY are not your friend nor are they your equal. Parents and grandparents have allowed the kids to be disrespectful, not only to the parents themselves but to other adults. In my own family, I have seen kids walk in and NEVER say hello to an adult. If an adult is sitting in a chair and the adults are having a conversation, the child believes he is entitled to sit in the chair the grandmother is sitting in and expects her to move rather than be respectful and wait until she leaves so he can play his game. I had to leave. The grandmother was at fault too. I said something to him and she said it was ok. No the hell it’s not and SHE is part of the problem (I had to keep that thought in my head). THAT was hard!
Technology has become the new babysitter. It’s amazing! You give the kid a laptop, or 50” (or higher) touch screen TV at the age of two and they’re quiet until they’re out of the house IF they get out of the house and IF they have a job after they graduate or IF they graduate! The only time you hear from them is when some major catastrophe happens and they can’t play it or they want the newest game or game system. It doesn’t matter how many jobs you have to work, in order for them to have it. We’ve enabled them to not have to work for what they want. Technology, with the help of parents and grandparents, has crippled kids into problem solving and communicating without a fight or argument. How many times does your kid badger you until you give him or her what they’re asking for? You’re teaching them nothing useful. My kids tried it a few times and when they found out the results were worse by trying, they stopped. No, no child was abused in the process! But when I say ‘NO’ it MEANS NO!!!!!! We have to do better. We have to go back to the old fashioned ways of teaching kids how to respect adults. We need to teach them morals, values and ethics. We have to bring back compassion for others. That is taught. Children aren’t born pre made already born knowing these things. EVERYTHING STARTS FROM HOME! I don’t care if you’re a single parent or not. That isn’t an excuse. I am a single mom. When my children were growing up, we didn’t have a lot. I worked because welfare wasn’t an option for me. Call it pride or whatever but I wanted to show my children that hard work and dedication goes a long way! Not having much, they grew up learning to appreciate everything they got.
{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } “Newsflash, kids learn what you teach them! THEY are not your friend nor are they your equal.”
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{ ROC THERAPEUTIC } “There were things that we once held sacred like family, friendships and just being decent to one another. If times have changed its because WE CHANGED THEM!”
I had to be hard at times. My children were important enough to me that I had to get to their heart, at times, when they were starting to be ungrateful. They had to say please and thank you or they didn’t get what they wanted. That’s a fact. I was hard at times but I had to be because I didn’t want them to become dysfunctional adults or end up in jail. Parents, we have to do better!!!! Children today are lost and without guidance. They’re being given adult responsibilities instead of learning to be kids with structure and boundaries. No child has died from a parent saying no to their child who wanted a TV at 344
two years of age. Spend time with them. That’s the most precious gift you could ever give! I spent time with mine, all the time. We had pajama parties on Fridays, when they were young, up until twelve yrs. I let them be kids and we have so many memories in this home! That’s what they will remember. They will grow up loving and appreciating who you are and the love they had growing up. Kids nowadays are killing their parents because they didn’t get their way. I am so proud of my children and the
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019
young adults they’ve become. People who know my kids love them. They are respectful and compassionate. They’re not perfect, neither am I but I know with raising them in the church and having our own bible study at home has made ALL the difference in the world! I hope this has made sense to you. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out!!! God bless you! Giovanna giovannajwRWO@gmail.com
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{ HER EDGE }
OK BY ROBIN DEWIND
I was scrounging the internet looking for a topic to write about when I came across an idea listed as: “What happens to female broadcasters after the age of 50?” I laughed out loud. I thought, well I’m sitting right here, and last time I checked, I was ok. It sounded so final. 50.
Older women become invisible. We run around still trying to be seen. We spend money on retinol eye cream, false eyelashes and full body Spanx. We lower our hemlines to hide our knees, loath our arm fat, wear a lot of black and can’t wait to take off our pushup bras as soon as we walk through the door. We try to stay physically competitive in the outside work world with the only payoff
Sadly, Sally was referring to turning 40 as some sort of end zone for marriage and children and if you fumbled reaching this milestone age without accomplishing either, you were doomed to be sad and alone forever. I think Sally also was afraid of getting older. It was looming and as middle age gets closer we dread what our life could look like. I was 26 years old when I watched that movie and my young self probably agreed with Sally. In fact, I know I did.
So I guess when women hit this un-magical age they suddenly fall off the earth and are never to be heard from again. The articles online were all based on the premise that women over age 50 are being pushed out of their jobs in contrast to older men who get to keep on working in front of the camera until they choose to retire. It can be true. Older women aren’t always allowed the luxury of aging gracefully and ending their on-air careers on their own terms. In many cases it’s a round of Hunger Games to see who can survive the next young hire who wants to sit in the main seat. In fairness, there was some truth to the articles. Women in television and in movies are judged differently than men. Women in our society get old, men become distinguished. Their grey hair and weight gain are forgiven and ignored. 348
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But now as I sit here, with my “50th” birthday in my review mirror, I have to laugh. It’s not so bad. There are definitely things I miss about being younger; perfect skin all over, not just on my face, energy past 8 p.m., and the magical feeling that something exciting was just an evening
being ‘you look good for your age.’
out away.
I dreaded turning 50.
But when I turned 50, I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. Yes, all the physical changes that happen with middle age and menopause are tough to take. We mourn our younger selves. But there was a rebirth of sorts emotionally. I could finally say “no” to all those things I really didn’t want to do and feel comfortable with my decision. I was
I kept thinking about a line from one of my favorite movie characters Sally Albright in “When Harry Met Sally” who told Harry in a fit of fear after another failed relationship, “it’s just sitting there, like a big dead end.”
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
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{ HER EDGE } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “What happens to female broadcasters after the age of 50?” I laughed out loud. I thought, well I’m sitting right here, and last time I checked, I was ok.”
content with where I was in my life, what I had accomplished professionally and more importantly who I wanted to spend my time with personally. Too often we say ‘yes’, and quietly resent standing at a party or passing a dish when we really just want to stay home on a Friday night with a glass of wine and watch Netflix. I love to nap. I stopped counting calories and have made peace with my sun damaged skin. The trips to Florida were all so fun and I don’t regret any of them. I’m aware that I cry and I get mad for no reason, and my weight has shifted to places I never thought possible. Menopause isn’t great, but I have accepted that it’s just another change in my life I can live with. I’m comfortable with my life mistakes and have learned from every one of them. I have survived the death of a
parent, a divorce, a career loss and the realization that more of my life is behind me than ahead of me. I would love to sit and have a cup of coffee with my ‘50 year old mother’. She is now 87 and everyday moves further away from me in her abilities and memories. When I was sitting in a movie theater on a date, enjoying my 20-something life watching “When Harry Met Sally”, I wonder what my 50 year old mother was doing that night. How was she feeling? It never occurred to me to ask her how she was doing. But I bet she was happy for me. She had patience with my arrogance about life and having it all figured out. She encouraged vacations and always told me to buy the expensive pair of shoes.
She paid it forward with tough advice I didn’t want to hear about my boyfriends, slipped me money for cloths I couldn’t afford, and cooked my favorite foods even though I was an “adult”. More importantly, she always answered the phone no matter what time of day or night. I thought she only did all of this because she was just being my mom. Now I know why she did it. She knew one day I was going to be in my 50’s feeling like life, youth and beauty were all slipping away. But she knew…real power and beauty comes from within, knowing that you’re going to be ok.
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CONTACT ROBIN DE WIND TODAY! I ROBINDEWIND@GMAIL.COM
{ MIDST OF IT ALL }
MIDST OF IT ALL BY MADELINE RIVERA
My name is Madeline Rivera and I am from Rochester,New York.Born and raised.I have five beautiful children.I chose to tell my story because I am passionate about uplifting and empowering other women. I have been a single mother all of my life while raising my children.My life consisted of a lot of ups and downs. Alot of bad choices.Choices that kept me stuck in different situations. All I knew was physical,emotional and mental abuse.
way.My life went on until I got into my next relationship.I was so afraid of being alone that I ended up settling for less.A worse situation than the first one.As time went on I ended up having more children with this man.I was a young mother with five children.I stood in that
I’ve seen and experienced a lot of things as a young girl that weren’t normal.I was exposed to a world of alcohol and drug abuse all around me.I remember growing up very isolated. There was always chaos at a constant in my life. At fifteen years old I got pregnant as a way of escape.So,at the time I thought it would be an escape.Little did I know it would turn my life in a total different direction than expected. I had to grow up real quick.Luckily for me I always had a motherly instinct.So,when it came to motherhood ,atleast I knew what it was like to care for someone. Through the constant chaos and turmoil in that relationship I ended up pregnant again at eighteen.Before having my second son I was done with the relationship before giving birth.I remember feeling so empty and hurt.Almost,as if my life was over. By,that time I had experienced a lot of physical, emotional and mental abuse.I was in a domestic violence relationship that had ended up really bad.I was at an all time low point in my life.Shortly after I lost everything and had to start over with my two sons.Luckily,for me I had my mother to help me along the 354
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relationship for years still settling for less. Not knowing my self worth at the time.I was young and so inexperienced at that time of my life. Trying to fill a void.Not knowing that later on after that relationship was over that i.would walk away more vulnerable and fearful than ever before.Life went on.The struggles in my life continued. My self esteem was low.Being belittled daily leaving me more broken than ever.
And,with a sense of loneliness. Empty! I continued to take care of my children through it all.If there was one thing I knew,it was to take care of them as best as I knew how.Working and not working at times.Receiving help from my mother and resources to be able to make ends meet.Time went by,my kids got older and the struggles in my life continued.I remember working and it not being enough to take care of my children and getting into some trouble .Legally,when I got into trouble it changed everything within me.It was one of the worst times in my life.I had a desperate cry.A reality check! I prayed that if the Lord would take me out of my mess than I would change my life and do things differently and make better choices.For the next two years in a half ,legally i would have to walk on egg shells and have some accountability for my actions. Going through different programs and educational classes that later would help change my life.At that time I started finding myself and learning who I was.I started applying everything that I was taught and beneficial to my life .I learned to rebuild and have structure to build a foundation on.Praying! Building myself up! Removing toxic people ,places and things out of my life.Being around more positive influences. All of my life I was lost.At five years old something happened to me that changed my life forever.Up,until recently I had to pray and identify the issue and deal
{ MIDST OF IT ALL } “I chose to tell my story because I am passionate about uplifting and empowering other women.”
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with it amongst other things in my life.In 2014 I had a vision.And part of that vision was to write a book and tell my story.But,I procrastinated so much thinking I couldn’t do it .Or what would others think.I had to remind myself that no one defines your past or who you are.My past is what made me who I am today. I’ve learned through all the chaos and noise in my life that we all go through trials and tribulations. It’s how we deal with it all.As I’m writing this I still have my personal struggles in life as we all do.But,we have choices.
wrote my book so that I can use it as an empowerment tool.My goal is to reach others that have been through or are going through what I been through. There is a purpose for your pain.Its o.k. to start over again.We all have a story to tell.My motto is “rebuilding to encourage and inspire.” My goal is to continue to write books based on my life’s lessons ,do workshops,conferences,etc.All of the different topics based on my life. To share my story all over the world.To help women come out.To be able to love themselves.
MIDST OF IT ALL” Author,public speaker,entrepreneur.And I also would like to introduce my residential cleaning business .”MADELINE’S SPOTLESS CLEAN” which i will also use as an empowerment tool to help others through cleaning services.As women we need to live a life of organization and set goals to be able to establish growth in all areas of our lives.Conducting ourselves in the spirit of excellence. Growing individually so we can be a help to one another. Encouraging and inspiring. Continuing to evolve! Always making room for growth.
The choice to stay stuck or the choice to keep moving forward.In the midst of it all i have developed a passion for empowering others.There is a way out.I
Self empowermen! To be able to rebuild with a purpose.As I will be introducing my new book ,I will also be introducing my new business venture.”IN THE
Being able to live a fullfilling life.In all areas.Spiritually,Mentally,Emotionall y and Physically .Living in abundance and prosperity.
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{ WOMEN OWNED BIZ }
SUPPORTING & EMPOWERING BY KARIN KLOCK
Imagine if women-owned businesses were connected across the nation or even around the globe. How much power would such a network give those women? And how much easier would it be to support and empower female entrepreneurs? Right now, we are in the midst of an important women’s movement, and part of this shift must include flexing our economic muscles. As conscientious consumers and business owners, we may aspire to make socially responsible purchases, but the challenge of identifying women-owned businesses that match our own ideals and needs can derail even the best of intentions. Yet doing so is important. Finding and supporting womenowned businesses, and especially
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underrepresented women’s businesses, can affect real change not only in the lives of the women who are endeavoring to pursue their passion, but in our lives and the lives of those around us. Admittedly, information overload in the era of the internet and social media is a big contributor to this “discoverability challenge” that entrepreneurs face. However, it is not the only hurdle. Making a product, providing a service, securing financing, hiring employees— everything that goes into running a business takes time, attention, and money. As a result, the time and expense of promotion and marketing can often get sidelined or feel so overwhelming as to discourage women from starting or expanding their business. In response to this need, I have formed
WomenOwnedBiz.org, a free website directory that brings women-owned businesses together in one easily searchable listing. Right now, we are in the process of launching an outreach campaign—my gift to all the hardworking female entrepreneurs out there. If you are a woman and own a business, please register to join our directory. And if you support womenowned businesses, please share this site with your personal and professional networks. Let’s be a major force for good, starting right here in Rochester. Join: https://womenownedbiz.org/ join-our-movement/#join Interested in becoming a corporate sponsor or donor? Contact me at: info@womenownedbiz. org
A free Women-Owned business directory-join today! https:// womenownedbiz.org/ It’s a great way to connect and support like-minded women businesses. If you are a woman and own a business, please register to join our directory. And if you support women-owned businesses, please share this site with your personal and professional networks. Interested in becoming a corporate sponsor or donor? Join today or email me for more information at info@ womenownedbiz.org
{ IN HER OWN WORDS }
KATELYN COSTELLO BY KATELYN COSTELLO
I started to read books when I was in kindergarten. One of the first series of books I ever read was Redwall by Brian Jacques. The world of Redwall opened my eyes to lands where people weren’t always the nicest, but there were still good people who would fight for what was right. And even if they made mistakes on the way, it was okay. Not long after I learned to read on my own, I would stumble home with my family’s canvas library bag (everyone’s family has a specific bag for the library right?) that felt like it weighed more than I did. I would devour those books and then return to my little haven for more stories. When I was thirteen, I was struck with an idea, the first spark of a story that I painstakingly wrote out by hand and then had my best friend type up for me because I was a slow typer. I remember thinking at the time that the main character, Leona, had to be strong. She had to be fierce; she had to fight. Just like Matthias had. But it was important to me that my main character was a girl. Leona never left the pages of that story, but her essence has grown with me. And what was that exactly? Strong female characters. Women who could lead, who meant business, who didn’t have to be pretty little pawns for men’s pleasure. Now Young Adult fiction has come a long way since when I first started reading, but maybe I was also looking in the wrong places. Hermione was always in Harry’s shadow, outsmarting him, but never really taking the spotlight. 360
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However, I want people to read in the right places. I want young girls to look at a strong leading female character and say “I want to be like her,” to be able to slide herself into those shoes and learn to be strong in her own life. I needed more Katniss,
so others don’t feel pain; it is leading where others fall. It is listening to what is hard. It is admitting that you need help. This leads me to my own writing, this Amazon review encapsulates everything I am trying to do: “Great for young readers! This is an energizing read for a younger (maybe preteen or early teen) age group. 10-year-old me would have loved this because I think especially younger girl readers can put themselves in the main character’s shoes.” -Amazon Reviewer Shauna and Taytra Flynn are sister’s and are the protagonist’s of my series The Frituals Saga (The Frituals #1, Rebellion #2 (available 8/10/2019 now available for preorder.)) These two young women are people I wish I could have read about when I was younger. So how did their story start?
more Zélie, more Starr, and more Kady. More women, more people of color, more LBGTQ+, more people. And these people, need to get not just more representation but leading roles, shining for all to see and love. Now strength, as we know, doesn’t always mean you can lift the heaviest object. Sometimes it is looking fear in the face and not letting it stop you. Sometimes it is being uncomfortable
Each year men and elves are tested to see if the Fritual of their kingdom will be revealed, a powerful person able to control an elemental Magick. Shauna Flynn has always wanted to meet a Fritual, but these Magick users had all but disappeared in the war of men and elves nearly two hundred years before. Shauna has always wanted to meet a Fritual, she never thought she would be the Fritual. Forced from her home by a group of elves known as the Dark Ones who want to control the first
{ IN HER OWN WORDS } “If you don’t see the book you want on the shelf, write it.” - Beverly Cleary
human Fritual, Shauna has to find the other Frituals and stop the Dark Ones, to save herself, her family, and the home she has always known... I hope my stories will inspire more young women to stand up for what they believe in. To not always worry about being the smartest in the room because no matter what their voice is valid. I hope they can 362
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find themselves in my stories. And if not, to pick up a pen, or open a word doc and stare down that blinking line and write it for themselves. That is what I am doing for myself. The Frituals #1, Rebellion #2 (available 8/10 now available on preorder.) Are available from katelyncostello.com or wherever you buy books online. This series
is Young Adult fantasy and targeted to children in 7th-12th grade or for whoever loves young adult books in your life. Follow my writing and publishing journey or just look at cute photos of my cat at @ authorkatelyncostello on Facebook and Instagram or @scripturienting on twitter. For business inquiries please email me at scripturient101@gmail.com
{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE }
BEAUTY IN THE DETAILS BY LISA WAGNER
Slowing Down to See Life’s Little Jewels Recently, I found myself stressing over the detail on my painting. I wanted to get the shadow of the yellow flower just right without turning it to mud. Yellow is funny like that. Sitting back for a long minute, I asked myself, “How does Mother Nature make that shadow without killing the poor flower?” It occurred to me that it’s just a darker yellow. How had I missed that? It wasn’t the devil’s foolery in the detail. It was me missing that easy little fact because I had never used the art of slowing down to notice the beauty in the sweet shadow. How many times a day or even an hour, for that matter, do we miss those little gems? Probably more than we’d like to admit. While making my art, it’s essential to be a seeker and witness to life’s niceties. They’re what adds color to our lives. I look back now on my days as a mom of small children wondering how many of those beautiful moments I missed because I was making sure the house looked neat or the Cheerios were picked up off the floor? It’s silly when you think about the things you thought were important as you get older and wiser. Had someone that knew this wisdom not shared it with me or was it more likely that I was too busy to heed their words? My kids and house were always neat and clean but what would I give now that they’re grown to have used some of that time to just BE with them? Just “being” is a cultivated skill that takes loads of practice. Too bad it’s never taught in school. There are a million things we are bombarded with due to technology and life’s pressures now. Too often I hear friends and family 364
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talk about the guilt they have when they just sit still. Should they be working or calling, texting, cleaning, anything instead of decompressing or recharging? Are they wasting precious time? Nope! You’re cultivating space that’s just for you. It allows you to see the little things you’ve been missing during your bustling life. Breathing room in a painting is crucial to a
good composition. The viewer’s eye needs a sweet little place to rest and relish in. I recently was delighted to find out that I was accepted into the Rochester Memorial Art Gallery’s Finger Lakes Exhibition. No easy feat! On the night of the opening, I watched patrons and fellow artists really stop and take in the little jewels of each piece. The details are what sucked them in and made their mouths repeatedly form the word, “Wow!”
How amazing to have someone walk up to your piece and take time to notice the little bits?! Their wonderment about the subject matter or how it had been executed is like this huge gold nugget. It’s why I am an artist. Creative works allow for that space to rest and cultivate the ability to notice. Presence is a way to honor our spirits and those of the people we encounter each day. Truly hearing and seeing another human being touches the depth and detail of our souls. It’s the warm fuzzy feeling you get when someone hears your story and has the capacity of empathy so that we feel that spirit of connection. Feeling separate and not seen because others forgot about the detail seems to be a chronic state of being recently. Imagine how different your relationship to people or your vocation would be if you came at it with a state of wonder and curiosity? If you used the phrase, “I get to…” instead of, “I have to…” It sharpens your mind enough that you can quickly call yourself out for not having heard a word your friend, husband or child just said. I’ve done it too many times to count. With practice, I’m getting better at taking a breath to witness whether or not I am fully present while they’re speaking. Did I catch the detail of that story? Do they feel seen and heard by me? Asking them to repeat it so that I get the entire thought and can feel into it shows them that I care about what they’re telling me enough to risk embarrassment. I store those details like a squirrel with a nut. We each feel special when the person across from us remembers our words. It’s a nice little gift. During my jaunts with my intuitive painting, the beginning phases are about movement and color. What feels/looks good and how
{ TRAVELING WITH ROCHESTER WOMAN }
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{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } “Without pain, there can be no personal growth or peace. Without failure, there can be no true relishing in our successes.”
would l like to apply it? Once I get the base color on the sub straight, that’s where large detail starts to take form. One day, circles are my jam. Others, it’s mountains and cloud shapes or vertical and horizontal lines. Then comes decision time. What detail stays and which goes? Who is essential to the feel of the piece? It’s like trying to pick out a puppy or kitten from the cutest litter on the planet. You always have a favorite. There’s just something in the detail that let’s you navigate the next layers and shapes, adding and eliminating as you move along. What is truly impactful and purposeful gets to stay in its new permanent home.
clear. When I release the need to know, to be perfect, to be right or achieve a desired result the stress and strain subside. I see then what I was causing for myself and ultimately, others through that rigid ripple; the need to be right or knowing the answer
The details for those paintings that come in the final layers are all about what jewels in my life have had an influence on my heart and mind. What is meaningful today that needs to be seen and heard? Each shape has its own signature that evokes emotions from our memories that the subconscious was hoping you’d put on that canvas to investigate and interpret. Today, it may say one thing to your head and tomorrow your heart leads the way instead. What is it trying to tell us that we need to hear? It’s usually the thing that follows you like your own shadow quietly nudging you to acknowledge its lesson it’s trying to impart. Slowly but surely, I am learning that when I force the answer to come to me, the detail shuts down. In a large watercolor I recently painted, I couldn’t figure out how to draw beams in the ceiling to make them appear 3D. When I finally let go of “needing to know,” it suddenly hit me upside the head. In the letting go, the detail had space to yack away loud and 366
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can then give way to happiness. It’s okay not to know everything, including who we are. The spirit of releasing and trusting that something larger than our human brain or being has us covered lets us breath again. It’s like the best nap or night’s sleep you’ve
ever experienced. We just have to be willing to flow with what lies directly in front of us without looking behind us or too far ahead. What a beautiful exercise of trust. Trust the details will unfold for you in their own beautiful way. The answers lie there waiting for you to allow their manifestation. Although we each struggle to gain sense of our existence or even the present task we’ve been charged with, it’s what we’re here to learn. Life is a large canvas begging for color from our failures and what we garner from them so that we finally paint our focal point of meaning. There’s an ebb and flow to that focus just like a raging river opening into a quiet, tranquil space where the water gently laps over us. How we choose to weather the rough patches will determine how often we get to experience contentment and notice the pretty pieces. We understand what matters because we weathered the storm or life’s challenges. Having no expectations about how life will be for us while just allowing reduces suffering and increases our resilience. Without pain, there can be no personal growth or peace. Without failure, there can be no true relishing in our successes. Without a willingness to muddle through the pain, we can’t experience healing. It’s the devil in those details when we choose not to see them. Turning him on his head is a sweet little victory that all of us can share in. Being the change we wish to see in the world was and still is one of the greatest truths that can free us from human suffering. Then, the details are shining like new pennies everywhere you look.
{ { COMMUNITY ASK THE DOCTOR ROCS } }
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{ ASK THE DOCTOR }
CARPAL TUNNEL BY LARRY PESHKIN
The eight bones of your wrist form a U-shaped channel that houses several tendons and your Median nerve. This channel is called the Carpal tunnel. Your median nerve is responsible for sensation on the palm side of your first 3 ½ fingers. Compression or irritation of this nerve as it travels through the carpal tunnel causes the condition known as “Carpal tunnel syndrome”. Carpal tunnel syndrome is the most common nerve entrapment, affecting 3-5% of the general population. Females are affected two or three times more frequently than males. Carpal tunnel syndrome most often affects adults age 45-60. Carpal tunnel syndrome can be brought on by prolonged wrist flexion and/or repetitive wrist movements like supermarket scanning, keyboard use, carpentry or assembly line work. Exposure to vibration or cold may also aggravate the condition. Carpal tunnel syndrome is more common in your dominant hand but frequently affects both hands. Some risk factors for developing carpal tunnel syndrome include diabetes, thyroid disease, rheumatoid arthritis, alcoholism, kidney disease and being short or overweight. Fluid retention during pregnancy is also a common cause of carpal tunnel symptoms. Symptoms of carpal tunnel syndrome include numbness, tingling or discomfort on the palm side of your thumb, index, middle finger and half of your ring finger. The discomfort can sometimes extend towards your elbow. The symptoms usually begin as nighttime discomfort or waking up with numb hands but can progress to a constant annoyance. Your symptoms are likely aggravated by gripping activities like reading the paper, driving or painting. Early on, your symptoms may be
relieved by “shaking your hands out”. You may sometimes feel as though your hands are tight or swollen. In more severe cases, hand weakness can develop. Compression of your median nerve in the carpal tunnel is often accompanied by compression at a second or third site as well. Researchers call this “double crush syndrome.” Common “double crush” partners for carpal tunnel syndrome involve the spine or muscles in your neck, shoulder and forearm. There are several entrapment sites where nerve compression can occur. Treatment for double crush syndrome includes assessing
the entire nerve pathway to the hand from the neck down. To help resolve your condition, you should avoid activities that involve repetitive wrist flexion, i.e. pushups. Grasping the handlebars on your bicycle for more than a brief time will likely cause irritation of your condition as well. Our office may prescribe a special splint that holds your wrist in a neutral or slightly extended position that will help with your nighttime symptoms. If left untreated, carpal tunnel syndrome can result in permanent nerve damage. The earlier the problem is addressed, typically the better the outcome. The American Academy of Neurology recommends conservative
treatment, like the type provided in our office, before considering surgical alternatives. Here is a brief description of the treatments we may use to help manage your problem: JOINT MANIPULATION Your chiropractor will look for joints in your wrist that are not moving freely. This can cause tightness and discomfort and can accelerate unwanted degeneration i.e. arthritis. Your chiropractor will apply a gentle force with their hands, or with hand held instruments, in order to restore motion to any “restricted” joints. Sometimes a specialized table will be used to assist with these safe and effective “adjustments”. Joint manipulation improves flexibility, relieves pain and helps maintain healthy joints. THERAPY MODALITIES We may apply electrotherapy modalities that produce light electrical pulses transmitted through electrodes placed over your specific sites of concern. These comfortable modalities work to decrease your pain, limit inflammation and ease muscle spasm. Hot or cold packs are often used in conjunction, to enhance the effect of these modalities. Another available option is therapeutic cold laser therapy. Cold laser emits photons of light that penetrate to the affected tissues and speed healing. MYOFASCIAL RELEASE Overworked muscles often become tight and develop knots or “trigger points”. Chronic tightness produces inflammation and swelling that ultimately leads to the formation of “adhesions” between tissues. Your chiropractor will apply pressure with their hands, or with specialized tools, in order to release muscle tightness and soft-tissue adhesions. This will help to improve your circulation, relieve pain and restore flexibility. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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GENTLE & HEALING CHIROPRACTIC CARE
Achieve the healthy, active life that you have been missing
2164 HUDSON AVE., ROCHESTER, NY 14617 585-467-7070 I WWW.IRONDEQUOITCHIROPRACTIC.COM
{ HELPING PEOPLE HEAL }
VOLUNTEER AT ROCHESTER GENERAL HOSPITAL! BY BECKY PICONE
THE BENEFITS ARE ENDLESS…. The RGH volunteer Program’s motto is “Our Volunteers Help People Heal”. This is an attractive idea for those who come to volunteer because they feel good when they are helping others. However, the benefits of volunteering in a hospital extend far beyond the reaches of intrinsic motivation. Much research has been done to measure the positive effects of volunteering, and if you look at any article on the topic you are likely to find the same resultsimproved mental and physical health, increased longevity, and an increase in socialization, among others.
more active roles have reported that they get more exercise during their shift than they do at any other time in their day. Guest Services volunteers can often be found checking their Fitbits as they make their way around the many hospital corridors. Sue, who worked at the hospital before joining the volunteer team, knew that she wanted to stay in the hospital setting. She offers that “Volunteering gets me out of the house and talking to people. Plus, I get lots of exercise. This is my health care plan!” The Emergency Department and Cancer Center volunteers are equally as active,
STAY HEALTHY A 2017 article Mayo Clinic (mayoclinichealthsystem. org) article reports that volunteering decreases the risk of depression and reduces stress levels. This stands to reason, as helping others generally makes people feel useful and appreciated. AT ROCHESTER GENERAL Hospital, volunteers have scheduled shifts and their roles are very important to the departments they work in. They typically work with the same team of volunteers and staff members, so in serving they develop a sense of purpose and belonging. The Mayo Clinic article goes on to say that volunteering also allows people to stay active, both mentally and physically. Rochester General Hospital volunteers in 372
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continually circulating around their areas, checking in with patients and grabbing supplies. Mentally, volunteers stay sharp as they become experts in their areas. Whether they learn the layout of the building in order to guide visitors, or become familiar with the inventory and work the register in the gift shop, they are always exercising their minds. LIVE LONGER In her article, “The surprising link between
longevity and volunteering” (considerable. com), Kristen Sturt mentions all of the physical and mental benefits, while adding that volunteering helps to prevent loneliness, and all of the negative effects associated with it. She shares that a 2016 study found regular volunteers tend to take care of their health regularly, keeping up to date with doctor visits, immunizations, and blood work. Furthermore, she cited a study by Dr. Sneed which was published in the journal Psychology and Aging. The research results suggest that the physical activity involved in volunteering improves cardiovascular function, leading to decreased risk for hypertension in older adults. The general feeling of increased happiness and satisfaction that most volunteers experience also improves quality of life and ultimately contributes to increased longevity. SOCIALIZE! The hospital environment is full of opportunities to interact with people. Look in any direction and you will see halls teaming with volunteers, patients, guests, and medical professionals. Volunteering is a great way to interact with them all! The volunteers build relationships with each other, and with the staff they work with in their areas. Each patient or visitor they assist provides a new opportunity to connect at a personal level. Over time, our volunteers often find they have formed friendships that they value and trust. Longtime volunteer Mary shares that if it weren’t for her volunteer work at the hospital, she could go weeks
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } “I volunteer because I enjoy the interaction with people we visit with. You feel like you are doing something important with your life.” -Joyce and ‘Maggie’
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{ HELPING { SHIFT+CONTROL PEOPLE HEAL } } “The RGH volunteer Program’s motto is “Our Volunteers Help People Heal”. This is an attractive idea for those who come to volunteer because they feel good when they are helping others.”
without interacting with someone. She has been retired for eight years, lives in a house, and doesn’t have family in town. Volunteering is a perfect way to feel connected your community and avoid the isolation that the retired and aging population is at risk for. BUILD SKILLS AND MAKE CONNECTIONS Volunteering in a hospital is a great way to build skills that will transfer to other areas of your life. Interacting with many different people over the course of a shift can help to strengthen social and communication skills. Considering a career in health care? Volunteering can offer a window into different aspects of the field, giving you experience and access to professionals that can help guide you on your path. In 374
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fact, Chron (work.chron.com) suggests that people connections are one of the most important benefits to volunteering, due to the potential for opening future opportunities. Rochester General Hospital has a successful student volunteer program that allows area youth to gain volunteer experience while being exposed to different areas of the medical profession. This opportunity has led many students to health care areas that they may not have considered in the past and has given them experience that will ultimately contribute to their academic and professional success. If you are interested in becoming a part of the Rochester General Hospital
volunteer community, or would like more information, please visit RochesterRegional. org/makeadifference, or call the volunteer office at 585-922-4328. *Volunteers enjoy free parking, access to the Riedman Wellness Center, and a small food stipend during each shift.
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FIVE THINGS TO DO NOW BY KATIE LAWLER-MELIA
To Grow Your Instagram So you started an Instagram page. Maybe you were inspired by a seemingly overnight success, and were inspired to try your own thing. How hard can it be, right? So you take some photos, find some quotes you find inspiring, post a few times and wait for those followers to multiply. Weeks go by, and the only people following you are your great aunt Beatrice, a few accounts that scream SPAM, and your friend’s 12 year old. You’re ready to call the whole thing off.
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It’s likely because the content is valuable to you. It may be that you find their feed to be visually appealing, or they offer information that will help better your life in some way. This is the purpose of Instagram: to entertain, and to help solve people’s problems. You need to offer valuable entertainment to your audience in order for them to want to stick around. As much as you love pictures of your
What’s important to remember is that Instagram success doesn’t happen by chance, but by embracing the Golden Three: good content, consistency, and engagement. If you see a noncelebrity gain overnight success on Instagram, they’re likely using dishonest means to get there, usually resorting to pay for followers, amongst other questionable tactics. With all things, there is a time where hard work, and patience are required before you reap the rewards. Below I am sharing five ways to help gain the followers you hope to attract.
children, your lunch, or pets ask yourself why this would entice someone to follow you. Study the people you love- what content are they offering? Their pictures have good lighting and composition. Now notice their feed, most people have some sort of pattern that draws the eye in.
CONTENT IS KEY Why do you follow the people you do?
On top of that, the current Instagram algorithm pushes people to the top of
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feeds based on the level of engagement their accounts get. When you post it can be helpful to have a “call to action”, ask for feedback that will encourage your followers to leave a comment below. PLAN AHEAD There are specific times when it is best to post. Finding out this optimal time for your genre, location, or brand are important. Consistency makes all the difference! You should be posting at least 4 times per week. Beyond that plan what you will post each day, have a theme for each day of the week to post. If you are an artisan, you could have a schedule a s f o l l ow s : Mondayprocess, Tuesday-behind the scenes, Wednesdayhelpful hint, Thursday- shop updates, Friday- quote that inspires you. If you have a plan it will be easier to carry out, treat it like part of your job. You have to show up in order to be seen. ENGAGE WITH YOUR DREAM CLIENTS Spend time daily commenting, following, and liking post from those people that you hope would be followers. It doesn’t
{ GETTING SOCIAL WITH KATIE } “What’s important to remember is that Instagram success doesn’t happen by chance, but by embracing the Golden Three: good content, consistency, and engagement.”
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{ TALKING SOCIAL } { GETTING SOCIAL WITH KATIE } “Maybe you were inspired by a seemingly overnight success, and were inspired to try your own thing. How hard can it be, right?”
you hope would be followers. It doesn’t always work, but waiting for people to find you will prove to be fruitless. People won’t know about you unless you properly introduce yourself. Do this only when you’ve created a cohesive theme to your page, with consistent posting, and quality content. On top of that, the current Instagram algorithm pushes people to the top of feeds based on the level of engagement their accounts get. When you post it can be helpful to have a “call to action”, ask for feedback that will encourage your followers to leave a comment below. These comments tell Instagram that people enjoy your content, and they push your posts further up in the feed, which makes you easier to find.
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AVOID DISHONEST MEANS FOR BUILDING A FOLLOWING There are countless companies that will promise you followers, likes, and comments. This may feel like the easy way, but in the long run you will pay for it in a negative way. I can always tell when someone has used these means by the amount of followers the boast, yet they have few likes and no comments. Instagram is sophisticated enough that they can figure this out, and your account will be shadow banned. This is the process where your posts get buried, and will be very difficult to find. As the old saying goes, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” BE PATIENT, BE CONSISTENT While it can be hard to put effort into something without any guarantee of
it being successful, every person on Instagram that’s doing well got there through careful planning, hard work and consistency. Most people weed out their accounts with regularity, and if you are posting infrequently, you are more likely to get unfollowed. I challenge you to 90 days of posting on a schedule, with a cohesive plan put into place. At the end of the day, if you don’t feel you have the time to do this, you can delegate it, and hire a Social Media Manager to do it for you. I’m offering all Rochester Woman Online readers a summer special- sign up with me in July for Instagram plus Facebook for only $300. A $300 savings!
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Sheila Young GRASPING SELF-LOVE
{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }
PUBLISHER EDITOR-IN CHIEF CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN
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ON OUR COVER
Sheila Young toured Rochester for her photoshoot for the cover of the latest edition of RWO’s “Something For The Sisters” with RWO photographer Charlene Mann Ford. Her fabulous outfits were courtesy of no other then Kurvie Kulture and SJ’s Village Boutique with make-up by Brian Aquilar.
Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2017 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.
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COVER WOMAN SHEILA YOUNG BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN FORD
Sheila Young is no stranger to Rochester Woman. You were first introduced to Sheila in the January 2019 edition, when she became a new writer for Something for the Sisters. You may also recognize Sheila as a plus-sized model. She has modeled for RWO in runway and print, in past editions. Sheila is also a cosmetologist. Her articles each month share with you, her experiences in modeling and as a hairdresser. Sheila is an inspirational woman who is always willing to help. She is very supportive of her friends in their events and in events in the community. She is also a mother and is very active assisting in her children’s extracurricular activities. Sheila believes a very important concept to grasp is self-love. She feels that many females are judged by what they have as outer beauty and sometimes the most important inner beauty is overlooked. Many women are just not loving themselves in today’s society and that is a travesty. Sheila went through that too as a woman and indicates it is important for society to realize we are all beautiful just as God has made us. God made
us all to be individuals. We must learn to accept ourselves as we are. We were made different for a reason. We must as women count all of the blessings we are given and not just
lack of unity. More women should come together, stand up for what we believe in and stick together. Women often have a sense of comparison and competition with each other. We often are the ones tearing each other down”. This concept is in general and in the modeling industry. Sheila finds the biggest issue she experienced modeling is “walking that walk” in confidence and purity.
for what we expect. Sheila shares with us: “The biggest obstacle I have encountered trying to empower women is there is a
Sheila says, “Some women model for show, some model because it was part of the family trait and some model because they truly feel it is their purpose. I, myself was not a plus-sized model, all of my life. I modeled for a couple of years now and I can honestly say it is hard, but I love it and it’s for me. I would say love what you do and make sure it’s from your heart. Ladies, make sure it is something you desire and you want for you. Anyone, model or not, you have to love yourself first. Make sure when you step on that runway, it’s for you. So, when you are out there, that is what you are portraying. You must represent the brand you are walking in and if you don’t love yourself, you will not be portraying the best image you are capable of ”. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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“The biggest obstacle I have encountered trying to empower women is there is a lack of unity. More women should come together, stand up for what we believe in and stick together.�
{{ COVER COVER STORY STORY STORY }} { COVER } “ Women often have a sense of comparison and competition with each other. We often are the ones tearing each other down.”
first. Make sure when you step on that runway, it’s for you. So, when you are out there, that is what you are portraying. You must represent the brand you are walking in and if you don’t love yourself, you will not be portraying the best image you are capable of ”.
Sheila is one of those women. She in an entrepreneur. She is a model. She works side jobs, she does whatever she has to do to support her family.
As women, we are often identified by our parental status. Being a mother is a role we are expected to play. Today’s society is very different from the days of “ Leave it To Beaver”. The role of the stay-at home mom is not usually what we find anymore in modern day families. Women can have careers and be a mom too. With that being said, there is now a huge challenge for careerminded women, as you must find a balance to achieve your goals as a career woman and still have time to be a mother to your children. There is also the fact that today there is an increase of single-mothers. Women who do it all on their own. 392
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She understands the balance of still finding “me” time, so she doesn’t lose her own identity in all of this. She
pursues what she loves. Sheila shares: “It’s truly hard trying to find time to raise kids and have a career. I find myself relying on family and friends to assist me. I do not have a husband or a significant other to help out. I truly have a circle that I’m willing to make sure they are good, and they do the same, so this helps me to maintain my career. I truly feel you should surround yourself with people who will uplift you and plant that root God is trying to build. The toughest experience as a mom is trying to raise a child in this type of society, we have unknowingly been engulfed in. How I was raised, we had community and family. It is really hard taking on jobs, having a career or even making ends meet, when the society has changed as it has. The cost of living has changed and the fact that some kids are raised totally different than how you raise your kids plays into it as well.
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“Some women model for show, some model because it was part of the family trait and some model because they truly feel it is their purpose. I, myself was not a plus-sized model, all of my life. I modeled for a couple of years now and I can honestly say it is hard, but I love it and it’s for me.�
{ {{SHIFT+CONTROL COVER COVER STORY STORY STORY }} } { COVER } “I would say love what you do and make sure it’s from your heart. Ladies, make sure it is something you desire and you want for you.”
We as parents have to sacrifice for what we believe in and stick to our grounds. I have worked hard to show and teach my children to love themselves first. Believe in yourself and you can be successful in anything you want to do. You go for what you want! Lastly, 396
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I don’t know about a lot successful in anything you want to do. You go for what you want! Lastly, I don’t know about a lot of people and their faith or higher power, however, my higher power is God. With God having your back nothing can prevail”. Make sure you check out Sheila
Young’s monthly column in Something for the Sistas. It’s something you don’t want to miss.
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“It’s truly hard trying to find time to raise kids and have a career. I find myself relying on family and friends to assist me. I do not have a husband or a significant other to help out. I truly have a circle that I’m willing to make sure they are good, and they do the same, so this helps me to maintain my career.”
{ TRACY IS TALKING }
ALL THAT GLITTERS ISN’T GOLD BY TRACY SIMONE
So, we finally made it to the consistent summer weather. So now, we have lovely places to go and things to explore. One of the gems of Upstate New York is Saratoga Springs. I have a special place in my heart for it because I have fond memories of my godparents living there when I was a child. I still have some family members who live there. There are so many beautiful things to see and do. There are parks, museums and all kinds of activities for every age and walk of life. Even in the dead of winter, there are people strolling down Broadway and enjoying the many restaurants and boutiques. During the summer, it really comes to life when the best thoroughbred race horses and polo ponies come in from around the world to compete. It is also home to the Saratoga Performing Arts Center (SPAC), which hosts the New York City Ballet, the Philadelphia Orchestra, a major jazz festival and concerts by some of the biggest names in show business. There is a casino, black tie affairs, fashion shows and parades. You name it and you can most likely find it in Saratoga Springs. It is truly a beautiful destination and it draws people from all over, especially during the summer.
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Billionaires, millionaires, celebrities and people from all walks of life have homes there. ALL walks of life. What most people do not realize is that even in this playground for the wealthy and tourists, there is a significant homeless population. A few years back, Code
years ago, a woman froze to death while sleeping on a loading dock. Thank goodness for the people who established Code Blue so that the less fortunate could find some temporary shelter when the temperature drops below freezing. On average, 55 people use this service each night. In Saratoga Springs. There are also HUNDREDS of homeless children within the school system there. Finally, there are tent cities at undisclosed locations. I know. I have been there and seen this for myself. Many people do not qualify for the available shelters. Some of the people have mental health issues. Most of these people are invisible to the masses. In fact, Saratoga relies on many lower income people in order to thrive. There are many people who work as bartenders, waiters/ waitresses, in the hotels, in the back stretch with the horses, etc. While the folks who work with the horses generally come in for the track season, most of the other folks work in Saratoga year round.
Blue was established as an emergency shelter for people on nights when the temperature drops below 32 degrees. This came to be because a few short
Most of these people are extremely hard working, but unable to afford to live within the city limits. There is constant construction. There has
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{ TRACY IS TALKING } “In reality, most people are only a paycheck or two away from also being on the street, or crashing with friends and family.”
been a push in recent years to provide more affordable housing so that more of the lower income working class can also live in this beautiful city. However, many of the residents did not want these people in their neighborhoods. I am writing about this to shine a light on the situation. If this is happening in Saratoga Springs, the ‘city in the country’, where many wealthy people and middle class people own homes and businesses, where tourists come to play and bring mountains of money with them, this is most certainly also happening in some 404
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(if not most) of our other cities. Shame on those who make the less fortunate feel invisible……those who do not want to be inconvenienced by seeing people with less living in their neighborhoods, but will not do anything to assist. Every single one of us can do something to help someone else. As we move through our lives, paying bills, taking vacations, enjoying our families, we can each find a way to do SOMETHING for someone outside of our immediate circle. In reality, most people are only a paycheck or two away
from also being on the street, or crashing with friends and family. Maybe volunteer in a soup kitchen? Give a donation to organizations who are helping? Do more than just think about our other citizens at Thanksgiving? So, while we are all enjoying our summer and beyond, we need to look around us because some of our neighbors actually do live in tents. Some of our neighbors have children who do not have what they need to eat or for school, even in our more affluent cities. Even in Upstate New York. Even in Saratoga Springs.
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DEAR SIS BY MAISHA BEARD
Dear, Sis: The Highest in me, loves, honors, recognizes and appreciates the highest in you. I honor all of you beauties, who are reading my scribe. As I present to you, my sisters, the inaugural Ma i’ Mu s i n g s column, I am actively allowing spirit to guide my thoughts so that I can give you the truest version of myself for such a time as this. Certainly and prayerfully, this column will reach the hearts and souls of those outside of Rochester New York; however, my heart is with my community and the trauma that we are enduring as we experience the loss of our people due to killings. Social Media serves as a catalyst for us to bare our truth. To share with the world, our pain, our trauma, our suffering, our fears, and our hopelessness. As I peruse through Facebook on a daily basis, it reminds me that I must stay grounded, centered, and maintain alignment with my body, 406
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mind, and spirit as I cry for my city and those whose loved ones have perished from violence. How does one maintain inner peace in the midst of external circumstances that can cause us to have to negotiate our
feelings, emotions, and anger? We do so by taking a step back to appreciate and love on ourselves. We do so by remembering our higher power, our life’s purpose, our ancestors, and what we contribute to humanity by being a beneficial presence and transmitting
peace and love. In a time when our communities are suffering, whether it hit our lives personally or communally, we must also focus on our own emotional well-being. We must take time to appreciate the joys of life. Let’s take a moment to bask in the splendor of the sun, or listen to the crashing waves of the beach waters, or perhaps cuddling with a good book to nourish our minds and souls with something other than chaos and confusion. Let’s put ourselves on our to-dolist and unplug from whatever information does not serve the positive evolutions of our minds—even if it’s just for an hour per day. Always remember that life loves you, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Until Mai’Musings grace the pages of my next column, I bid you Peace, Love, & Harmony… Mai’
{ MAI MUSINGS }
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Mai’ Musings Symposium MAISHA BEARD/MAI’ MUSINGS SYMPOSIUM IS FOR LADIES WHERE I WILL DISCUSS PERSPECTIVES INCLUDING: * How to heal through heartbreak; * Love vs Attachment--know the difference; * Radical Self Love & Care; * Why we stay in toxic relationships and how to let go with love; SPECIAL GUEST SPEAKERS and much more! The registration consists of a love offering starting at $5-$20. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mai-musingssymposium-tickets-63029829918
{ IN HER OWN WORDS }
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{ MISS TITIANA }
LIVING IN THE WORLD WITH A STATIC MIND BY TITIANA BOGAR I PHOTOS ON LEFT BY CHARLENE MANN FORD
Living in a world with a static mind, how do you be yourself with a judgement against yourself? We ask this question living in a world full of people who look down upon someone because of many ideas that people may have for one’s life. We are growing in a world where one of the biggest static is living in a world of the LGBTQ community. People have created a world where loving the same sex is wrong and that there is no room for that type of love. Well to those who are disgusted with this type of love let me proudly introduce you to a world where there is a community who is not acknowledge or look down upon. I believe in embracing everyone in respect of who they are and what they acknowledge themselves. I took the time out to talk to one of Rochester’s own great advocates for the LGBTQ community here in Rochester. Tamera Leigh is an advocate here in Rochester and she is well known for the Out-Alliance Group. Rochester native, Tamara Leigh, is the current Director of Operations and Public Relations at the Out Alliance, an agency that champions the rights and lifestyle of the LGBTQ+ community and Editor of their publication, The Empty Closet. Leigh attended Monroe Community College in Rochester, NY as well as Temple University in Philadelphia, PA studying Communications and Journalism. She served as Professional Development Specialist, Public Relations and Event Management Coordinator for the City of Rochester Department of Recreation and Youth Services. Leigh also acts as co-host of radio show, The Situation on WAYO 104.3FM and CEO of Roc Candy Media, an urban Public
Relations, Brand Development and Media Management firm. Tamara co-chairs, Rochester Black Pride and is one of the founding members of the WOC~ART (Woke Art) Collaborative. Tamara acted as PR and Development Team member of the ROC Awards, ROC the Park, and Nathaniel Johnson’s Designer Challenge Competition 2018 & 2019.
and protesting last for seven days. That movement sparked the worldwide fight for LGBTQ rights. We Remember the people who started all this, Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Storme. We rise up as a community over the discrimination. We fight for equity and we ROC- for Rochester 2. The theme is “what is your stone wall all about.” How did that concept come about? The parade theme is “What is your Stonewall?” Stonewall was the moment in history that people stood up and said no more. So, we are asking people what that moment was for them. 3. How did you come about becoming an advocate for the LGBTQ community? I’ve always felt like it was important to advocate for whatever community I’m a part of. For a long time that was urban youth while working for the City and with my intersectionality I was able to work with ROC Black Pride and carry that through to my work at the Alliance.
1. What is this year theme for pride? It’s We Remember: We Rise, We Fight, We ROC It pays tribute to the 50th Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. Down in NYC the police harassed and beat up people from the LGBTQ community. One night they had enough and fought back. The marching
4. Recently you spoke at the 7th judicial district can you tell Sista to Sista and Rochester women online what the event was all about and your experience 4. I was asked by our historian, Evelyn Bailey to speak on panel. I do that a lot as a part of my job. This one, to my surprise, was at the Court, in an actual courtroom in front of a group of judges. It was honestly very intimidating walking in that room. I spoke from the heart and they seemed to be receptive. I tried to talk to them about what people of color and people of the transgender ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ MISS TITIANA } “I believe in embracing everyone in respect of who they are and what they acknowledge themselves.”
experience still experience in rooms like that. In my mind that’s probably the most important thing I do. I managed to get a seat of the table, so each and every time I sit down, I have to speak for everyone that I can who hasn’t gotten to the table yet. 5. Being a part of the out alliance what is your biggest fear in this fight. I never realized how scary it would be to stand up and fight this fight. I constantly have to tell myself how important it is and what a blessing it is to have the opportunity to be here. But it’s overwhelming at times. I just trying to push through the fear. I don’t want to let anyone down. 412
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6. Right now, what is something you would want to get out to the world about the community. There is a huge amount of racism in the LGBTQ community and a huge amount of homophobia in the black community. People caught in the intersection of those two worlds have a tremendous amount to navigate through. We are losing people because of it. Those are losses that shouldn’t happen and losses that we as a community can’t afford to take. Anytime you catch yourself saying something about the LGBTQ community, replace gay with black and see if you still good about hearing it or saying it. We’ve got to do better.
****still feel good 7. Tell Rochester women magazine and Sista to Sista about some of the upcoming event for the community and if someone if someone like myself want to assist with the community or support how do we go about it ROC Pride is FULL of events. You can check out www.rocpride.com for all the info. The Out Alliance offers all kinds of programs and services that you can find at www.outalliance.org.
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SURVIVING THE PAIN BY YOLANDA SMILEZ
Welcome to the “I Love Smilez” column. This column promises to make you smile by the end of every read. I hope that here, you will find you can smile, even when things in your life are not going right. Keep this in mind, “No matter what you been or going through, you will smile, again”. The moment you thought would never happen to you, just did. How do you prepare? How do you handle it? How do you make it? It’s the day you find out you’ve been cheated on! You may feel like you just entered into the twilight zone. Your emotions are like a roller coaster. You’re hurt, mad, sad, want revenge, depressed, or just feel empty. Everything you believed in, is now taken from you. The happy life you both shared, how much you trusted him, gone. You gave him your heart to protect, only to find out he threw it in the trash, like garbage. The biggest question remains, why? The wound is so open, stitches cannot even close it. Your mind is going in circles. You replay your relationship so many times in your head, to find the missing pieces, to find the signs, but you only find yourself in a puddle of your own tears. Your chest is hurting like you’re having a heart attack. Your mind can’t rest, because the thought of the action is so far-fetched, you did not prepare for the day you’d find out you’ve been cheated on. You find many panels, talk shows, podcast talking about the action that causes so much pain. Why do people cheat? Can they even love you if they did? How can a man share the most intimate act with another when he is in a committed relationship? Some men say they cheat, because it doesn’t mean anything to them. Some women
say they cheat because they’re missing something in their relationship. Is there a solid answer as to why people cheat? I say no, because everyone is different. Everyone has their reasons for why they choose to cheat on their significant other. The act is fun while it lasts, it’s exciting, your flesh is fulfilled but your soul is left empty. Your
peace is now held hostage. Society has made it glorified to be a side lover. You know, a side chick. You hear it in the music, on television, in books and much more. You have many people who settle to be number two instead of being number one in the relationship. It has become so common the behaviors of the
side lover are becoming more disrespectful. They almost feel as if they are giving your relationship the energy and the thumbs up to stay together. When in actuality, they are handicapping the cheater to face the unresolved completion they feel inside. A human is no good to no one if they continue to just surface heal. Surface healing meaning the flesh. It’s not superficial, you must heal your soul and mind, which is the inner core of the body. This is how you will find real true healing! Now, once it happened, you have to make the best decision for you and not others. You have to ask yourself, “Can I move on?” Can I stay with the person that has betrayed my trust? This may be the biggest decision to make, but it has to be done. You must take control of your own energy. You cannot move of the emotion of what others expect. You must move to heal you. Often it is not just you, you must think of when making this decision what about the children? Can you survive financially? It is a big upheaval when making these life-changing decisions. You must start over from scratch. How will you ever trust him again? The big question is can you change a cheater. Is this the first of many infidelities? It will be a hard process; you will have to rebuild the entire house from ground up. You have to make sure your foundation is solid enough to stand the storms of those who will point fingers, talk about you, and even try to get your partner to fall again. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ I LOVE SMILEZ } “Keep in mind you can’t control any one but you! Don’t live in life thinking you’re untouchable and always remember “No matter what you’ve been or are going through, you will smile, again”.”
They will. There are women lurking in the sidelines at all times. Why must we do this as women? This is the ultimate betrayal of womenkind. When you decide to become “the side chick” you are ruining someone’s life. You are disrupting their sanctuary. Tearing apart another is no way to get ahead for yourself. Ladies, find your strength through finding 416
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you. Don’t get lost in “What did I do to deserve this?” Know your worth. Take the time to communicate with your partner on the plan, that’s going to help you both build the trust back into the relationship. You may have requests from each other that may seem very imposing. Be open to what each other need to make it work. Once you have agreed to move forward, than do that . The human in you will want to remind your
partner of their shortcomings. Don’t feed into the reminding demon, because what your doing is taken a knife and reopening the womb that is trying to heal. Keep in mind you can’t control any one but you! Don’t live in life thinking you’re untouchable and always remember “No matter what you’ve been or are going through, you will smile, again”.
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THE COST OF LOVE BY EBONY NICOLE SMITH
:Is it Worth the Withdrawal? Often, when in love or out of it, we question how, if we are in love, can things happen that strain the heart, causes us to become bitter and to throw in the towel. I remember one evening, following the last heartbreak that caused a major “heart attack”, during a painful prayer, I had a conversation with the Lord; after all, that is what prayer is. I tearfully and sobbingly managed to get out, “Love cost too much. I can only afford to pay out one more time. After that I’ll be in the negative.” I remember standing in the middle of my bedroom saying these things. I staggered to my bed and fell over onto it. I gripped my covers and screamed as pain leaked out of my eyes and shattered my heart. I was done! Maybe not forever, but for a long time. I was done trying to build a future, getting to know someone, revealing who I am, being bold enough to allow someone new into my life. I was done! I found myself on the side of my bed, having slid down along with my cover, crying and asking why me…again. I tried not to figure out what I had done wrong, could have done differently and all other thoughts that come when relationships – or situationships -end. But I couldn’t help it. Maybe I fell too hard – too fast, maybe I wanted too much, maybe I asked him for too much of his time; I mean, he was a business man so his time was limited, right? I recall roaring out, “Why me? I hate men! Leave me alone, please! I can’t. I can’t.” I meant every. single. word. “Leave me alone, please,” was my way of asking
God to really, leave me lonely because love wasn’t worth all that I had given without a return on my investment. It’s funny how the heart is the strongest muscle in the body but is easily broken. In my heartache, in my anguish, I hear a voice that was clear as day, crisp as a spring morning after a downpour of tears, I mean rain. Almost as if He was waiting for me to finish my foolish statement, God asked, “How much does love cost? What do you have that
price of love has gone up since I crossed into the years of 30. Building up and tearing down of patience has just about drained all of my extra dividends. Just when I thought I was going to have a large deposit made, I found it to be counterfeit cash. It looked like love, felt like love and spoke like love. But it wasn’t. The last bit of currency that I have, I’m not sure I’m willing and able to make a withdrawal.” The funny thing about a conversation with God is, He doesn’t always speak back when you (or I) want Him to or think He should. That night of waiting was long, hard and dreadful. I couldn’t stop crying, while replaying the last conversation I had with the guy my heart had fallen for. I heard every word, again, as if they were said for the first time. I can’t tell you how many times I reread the text messages that spilled from my phone. The more I heard and, the more I reread the more I realized that love did in fact cost too
is worth anything to lose for love?”
much.
I didn’t hesitate to respond. No thought was needed because I had made withdrawals from the Bank of Love for so long that I know the balance. “Love costs a lot, Lord. I just can’t do it anymore. It cost me my time, attention, care for the other person – that wasn’t reciprocated, risk of being made a fool in love with a joker. Love cost me countless tears, pounds of doubt, many certificates of confusion, short nights and longs days of investing in ‘the wonder of what I could have done differently’ stock. The
I knew what I had was worth losing for love -- my joy, my peace, myself. I was sure that God would agree with me, that love did cost too much and that He understood why I had reached the limit on life withdrawals. Unlike a financial institution, my Bank of Love was always open ready to receive new clientele. Sadly, it’s not until the account is opened, deposits are made that I see the fraudulent activity too late. I tried, with all that I had, to be sure to spot the fraud before getting too far involved. My ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ SINGLE DOPE BLACK CHICK } “Love costs a lot, Lord. I just can’t do it anymore. It cost me my time, attention, care for the other person – that wasn’t reciprocated, risk of being made a fool in love with a joker.”
My security walls were high and unbreakable. Yet, I didn’t protect the front door and because of it deceit found its way in. The last account that was opened, caused me to file for love bankruptcy within one year. I was able to keep a little bit of love, but not enough to share with a major deposit being made first!
withdrawn as much as you think. What you have taken out and freely given is the interest accumulated over the years. You haven’t tapped into the major reserve yet. If you trust Me to love you correctly, you will see just how insignificant those small withdrawals were. Love is worth the risk and benefits.”
didn’t fight the work He needed to do in me. It had taken a whole year for Him to complete most of the works within me. I know, honestly, I can feel more is needed, He’s not done, but the work He has put into me is so good. I can’t wait to see the restoration of my Bank of Love that will store the love He has for me to give.
As the night carried on through suffering from a damaged heart, God had me wondering what He would say. Hours later, I received His response. “My daughter, love cost a life at 33-yrs old. It cost the striping of flesh. It cost the resting of large wood on shoulders. Love cost tears thick as blood. It cost knowing you had a counterfeit friend by your side. Love pays for the prayers that would otherwise be ignored. It paid for redemption you can’t afford. Love is giving your life for someone that will lose trust in you because of something man has done. Love is waiting for you to do what it has commanded of you. Love is closing your eyes and believing in what you can’t see but can hear from love. Love is risking it all, giving your all, not expecting a return because the withdrawal is worth it. That’s love. You haven’t 422
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I’m still open to that final deposit but I’m not in a rush. I have handed over all responsibility to my bank Manager (aka my Jesus). He is accountable for what happens from here on out. And for that, I will forever be a functioning Bank of Love.
After that, I felt bad about how I felt. Thinking that I had so much to lose by falling in love when in fact, Love had done the most, above and beyond just for me. Soon thereafter, I began to pray for my brokenness. One night, He told me, “I Am going to uproot everything that caused this. Let Me work.” That was November 2017 and in 2018, I
if you let Him.
I encourage you check your bank to see what’s left. If you’re low on currency, than hire the bank Manager that will restore it,
Let me know what your banking status is by sending me an email to singledopeblackchick@gmail.com.
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TEA WITH SI BY SIERRA MONAE I PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER CARDWELL
What’s the Tea With Si -Sierra Monaé Dunklin? On this second edition of my column, I’m going to tap in on something that is the career woman and pregnancy. Ask yourself, “Why is it frowned upon for a woman to want a career and become a mother? Why is it belittled and not celebrated?”
Yung Miami 1/2 of the City Girls (who’s band mate JT is incarcerated) who sings hits such as “Act Up” and is arguably one of 2019’s biggest hits, announced that she too is expecting and the internet is in a frenzy. The blogs are
For instance, going back to the 90s when artists such as Chili of TLC, Brandy and Monica, just to name a few, all found themselves to be pregnant and chose to hide their pregnancy from the public eye in fear of backlash. They all spoke publicly and called it a “career suicide” to do what most women dream of and that’s become a mother. Something that is thought of as one of the happiest moments in a woman’s life, and instead of celebrating, she’s sulking in silence. Fast forward to present day, one of raps superstars Cardi B got pregnant at the height of her career and hid her pregnancy as long as she could before having to reveal she was expecting so she could continue to tour. The backlash she received in the blogs was unbelievable. She was called dumb, stupid and selfish all because she chose to have her first child.
Why is it that pregnancy is looked at as the end of your career? For as long as I could remember, women have always managed a career and motherhood. There are pictures dating back to ancient civilizations where women are in the fields with babies on their backs or on their shoulders while they worked, showing that it could be done. The thing they all had in common is that they all got through it. Being a mother is one of the most amazing feelings in the world, something that should be celebrated and not hidden. Having a career is also important. It brings a woman a sense of independence that goes along with being a mother. Financial stability that a career brings is an amazing feeling that doesn’t have to stop and can continue to flourish all while being a mom.
giving her the same backlash as all the artists mentioned. A lot of her fans are upset because of her announcement.
Ladies, there is no need to make a choice, excel at both. I myself am a mother of a 13 year old son and a career woman. Like anything worth it in life, no one ever said it would be easy but you will come to see that it’s worth it. If I can do it, you can too. Stay encouraged.
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HELLO SISTER! BY TARCHIA POWELL
Are you ready to go the next level? What’s holding you back? You may need a breakthrough! Dictionary.com defines breakthrough “as any significant, sudden advance, development, achievement or increase.” Breakthrough sounds like next level success to me. There are many areas in your life where breakthrough can happen. Your job, you’ve been trying to leave for years. Your marriage, the one you’ve been praying for or currently struggling in. Your side hustle needs to go to the next level so you can leave that job. As a mom, you may need a breakthrough for your children to get back on track. As a sister, you may need a breakthrough for your family who may be experiencing struggle, depression, anxiety, unhealthy minds to mental illness, poverty, or lack of purpose. I am sure there is at least one area of your life that could use a breakthrough. No matter how much success you may think you have there will always a new level you can achieve. <<Pause>> Write down any area(s) where you need a breakthrough! Where you need something to change. Here are 5 heart-work moments that can break you through: 1. SPEAK to your sisters! - You were not created in a world of your own. So, if you are one who thinks, “I can do bad myself ” “I got this (alone)” or “I don’t do relationships” those are lies, limiting beliefs and destiny killers. Talk to your sister about where you are and how you are feeling. Don’t assume she knows already.
If you are like me, you have a diverse circle. Circle tip: Have a sister whom you consider an educator. The one that always have a nugget or two of new information you didn’t know. Have another good sister who comes with the “me” factor. She likes to share stories about her that you can relate to, like a “me”ntor. Finally, have a sister who is curious or “nosey”. The one who has a one-thousand and one questions for you. She will keep you talking about you! We will talk about this more later. I recommend talking to that curious sister about your breakthrough needed. She will help you uncover your “why” and ultimately help you identify how to get through. The more specific you can get on how to breakthrough the more specific you can make your prayers too. There are no perfect prayers, only a perfect God. Pray from where you are and start your breakthrough with prayer. Matthew 7:7-8 says to “keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who seeks receives. Everyone who seeks finds. And to everyone who knows, the door will be opened.” If you find it hard to share you may be suffering from depression and loneliness. Recognize the signs and get support. 2. Be ACCOUNTABLE: You need the sister who will hold you accountable. This is a sister will be real enough to let you know if you are on or off track. She won’t listen to the excuses. Excuses are just the lies we tell ourselves that hold us back from breakthrough.
need to learn, new people you need to meet, or do you need to dream/vision again? 4. BREAKTHROUGH: Literally break the old habits that kept you stuck. Step by step. Inch by inch. Give up and let go of something! 5. Choose and ACHIEVE a meaningful milestone everyday - Everyday take an intentional step. Remember to celebrate along the way. What girl doesn’t enjoy a great celebration. Remember you are not alone, ask for support along the way. The moment you realize no one is expecting for you to be perfect is the moment you get to dance in the rain! Scripture for breakthrough: Isaiah 43:19, “For I am about to do a brand-new thing. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway in the wilderness for my people to come home. I will create rivers for them in the desert.” My prayer for you sister: Dear Lord, you know my sister best. You know the areas of her life in which she needs a breakthrough. Give her your patience Lord, and peace so that she can go through the highs and lows of her journey. Sharpen her discernment to hear your voice regarding the steps she should take. Help her to draw closer to you, our first friend. Show her that trusting you and your perfect timing will not only release her breakthrough but will work out for her good. In your name, I pray. Amen. Many blessings, Your Sister – Tarchia Powell Encourager, Inspirational Strategist: Teacher, Speaker, Coach
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NATALIE NDURE BROOKS BY TAMMY REESE
Natalie NDure Brooks discovered her love for music at an early age. She started writing at ten years old and singing at age thirteen. She remembers distinctively sitting on her front porch writing and going to bed with music in her ears. Then, local rapper and producer Willie Lumpkin known as Adiyon gave her first start and the rest is history as they say. From studio sessions to collaborations, talent shows and m o re N Du re gained recognition for her music & poetry in 1998 and won a local award from the community center located in Buffalo, NY . A nomination in 2008 for the R&B category in the international song writing competition. She also won an award with Singers Paradise Hip-Hop Seazon 2014. NDure grew to build relationships with various music creators one that stands out and now her mentor Ramon Gooden of Digital Underground where she met in Atlanta. She has attended the “I Create Music Expo” & met many other musicians from around the world, tried out for The Apollo and NBC
The Voice. Her music has been played in Austin, TX on 88.7 fm KAZIFM, HOT 104.1 STL, BEAT 94.7 SC and WBLK 93.7. NDure has opened up for Blues singer Bobby Rush & has also performed at The History Victory Grill in Austin, TX, Kleinhans and Shea’s with award winning producer
Lorna C. Hill in the play called “ And Bid Him Sing”, Hard Rock Cafe in Toronto. In early 2009 she signed a seven year contract for her poetry book “The Inception” she is looking to publish another book called Closure. Other memorable places she performed as a music artist includes Milkies in Buffalo, Marriott Hotel in Newark NJ , Oakland California, and Rochester NY. She has hosted red carpet events
at New Day Associates Red Carpet , True Enterprise award show in Buffalo NY and Syracuse recently. NDure has been featured in several magazines INDEPENDENT ARTIST MAGAZINE April/May and August/ September 2013 edition TopCat Magazine April 2015 issue, 716 Magazine 2015 December issue advertising her new fragrance N D U R E and countless interviews. Ndure has expanded her writing skills and is now a writer for Chicago’s Divulge Magazine. She also is acting in a film in Little Rock Arkansas called “Pimpin Ain’t Dead Chicks Just Scared” as Crème’. She also plays the role of Sarah in a upcoming indie film short film called “Love Means Nothing” . She is currently looking forward to launching her perfume & seeking a publishing deal & endorsements. To contact Natalie NDure Brooks Email Ndure26@yahoo.com
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{ WOMEN OWNED BUSINESS }
ROC CITY NOTARY BY KIM JONES
ROCCITY MOBILE NOTARY SERVICES IS HERE FOR THE COMMUNITY!!
she decided to start her small mobile business. “Everyone in their lifetime will need some type of document notarized and sometimes our busy work schedules prevents this from getting accomplished when we have to
RocCity Mobile Notary Services is locally owned and independently operated by Rochester NY native, Kim Jones. RocCity Notary Services is a mobile notary service on wheels. Kim travels and bring her services to your location of choice to perform notary acts, either afterhours, or on the weekends, and even on holidays. Her after-hour service is a convenient way for customers to have their documents notarized and not have to rely on transportation or normal business hours during the week to accomplish this. We all get busy and sometimes forget to complete some of our most important tasks due to other demands or tasks that require our attention. And what about those who don’t have the transportation to go out into the community to have a 1-page document notarized, or those who are confined to the home and cannot travel out? Kim understands these challenges and they are all the reasons
Kim has been a licensed Notary Public for over 15 years. She became a Notary while she worked in Property Management 15 years ago with the goal to provide an additional and convenient service to the residents at the property. At that time she was only performing notary transactions during business hours onsite at no charge. For a 450 high rise apartment building, this was A1 convenience at the front door. Kim’s reflection on this experience…. “I remember early in my career working in Property Management my Manager at that time asked me to become a Notary so we can offer another benefit to the residents to enhance their independent living. It was good for resident retention. At that time I didn’t know much about what becoming a Notary entailed, but just like other unknown situations I’ve faced, I was up for the challenge.
rely on walk-in notary service within the community.” Kim’s solution is to bring the services to you at your convenience on your time schedule.
I’m always motivated to learn and grow, so anything to increase my knowledge base, I’m on board 100%. Once I agreed to become a Notary, my Manager paid and sent me to a 1-day workshop in Buffalo, NY. It was at that workshop where I learned all about performing oaths ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ WOMAN OWNED BUSINESS } “Love costs a lot, Lord. I just can’t do it anymore. It cost me my time, attention, care for the other person – that wasn’t reciprocated, risk of being made a fool in love with a joker.”
and affirmations, fraud prevention, proper identity verification, NY Notary laws, (a very important component of doing notarizations), as well as the notarization process, and the benefits of later becoming a Notary Signing Agent. After I attended the workshop, I sat and took the test to become licensed the very next day. Of course I passed it with flying colors and the rest is history.” After 10 years in Property Management, Kim moved on taking her skills and experience as a licensed Notary with her, and in addition to her current FT career, she decided to extend her Notary skills by becoming a certified Notary Signing Agent work as an Independent Contractor for real estate transactions, such as new mortgage loans, mortgage loan modifications, debt settlements, mortgage refinancing, timeshare contracts, and more. There are various real estate transactions that require a licensed Notary Public to perform notarizations but a certified Notary Signing Agent has the special 442
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expertise and additional skills and experience to ensure integrity and to serve as an impartial witness. Notary signing Agents are the critical final link to complete a loan. They ensure that the real estate documents are executed by the borrower, notarized, and returned for processing on time. Kim has acquired and earned these
experienced licensed Notary Publics around the world. Kim has been a Notary Signing Agent for 10 years and has performed over 100 real estate notary transactions both locally and in surrounding areas around Rochester, NY. In addition to her current FT HR Management career, Kim is operating R o c C i t y No t a r y Services where she specializes in providing notar y service for different types of documents. Additionally, she is a Notary Signing Agent for real estate transactions regularly a s s i s t i n g Ti t l e Companies, Real Estate Professionals, Brokers, and Escrow Officers. For more information on Kim’s mobile Notary Services, call 585-3056196. Please follow her on Instagram, @ roccitynotary. She is professional, reliable, and available to assist you with all of your notary needs.
professional skills and experience to perform these transactions successfully. Kim has built her skills and experience as a Notary Signing Agent through attending workshops, seminars, trainings and networking with other
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More than 60% of Alzheimer’s and dementia caregivers are women.
The impact of Alzheimer’s on women is real. Not only are women more likely than men to be caregivers, they are also more likely to develop the disease. In fact, almost 2/3 of Americans living with Alzheimer’s are women.
Learn more at: alz.org/women
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TAKING THE HIGH ROAD BY DR. KIKI MICHELLE SINGLETARY-WILLIAMS
So many people have signed up for the open registration call to take a seat in the back row of their own lives. They read the disclaimers and fully disclose their allegiance to watching their lives from the same position. Their will to drive and to succeed is hampered as they have given the keys to their own success to someone else to hold on to.
Why are we content in the nose bleed section of our own lives? Who said you have to raise your hands to life your dreams? Why are we constantly
The dreams they have for themselves are tucked far away in their file cabinet of wishes. They quickly retreat to the back row of their lives, when any ounce of ambition shows up.
Tap yourself and say “Girl, Get Up!” It is time for you to take the stage in the story of your own life. Stop being a hitchhiker in your own story. Stop suppressing all that embodies you. “So what!” If your supporters are few... keep going. Write the book. Start the business. Join the club. Whatever “it” is... GET ON THE STAGE & do it! Be proud of all that you are and all you have become. Commit within yourself that no matter what, you will live your best life!
Why are so many people content to live their lives vicariously through someone else? Why are we told as little children to dream big in life, that we can have whatever we want in life? Yet the moment we dream, we allow a dream thief to discount our dream, only to implement it themselves?
Why have we settled into a just getting by existence, when we have so much untapped potential?
When you get up from the back row, it may seem awkward at first,and you will have a laundry list of reasons to retreat to the back, just keep moving. See you on Stage!
taking advice on our dreams, from people who have never dreamed?
Dr. Kiki Michelle Singletary-Williams Www.iamkikimichelle.com
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SUMMER TIME, SUN SHINE, BLUE SKIES BY REGINA SMITH
Summer time, Sun Shine, Blue skies the best has yet to come. The most important thing about summer in fashion is texture, threads and colors. Fashion is all over the world, in so many textures of fabric from head to toe. It is called summer Fierce, up close, hands on fashion, colorful fabric that has an influence on others. When you see a dress or top full of colors and beautiful texture, or a suit on someone that you know at that moment it would look amazing on you. That is Fashion Summer Fierce.
classes and much more. Katlady Productions © is a company of Fashions and Entertainment is a unique company that aims to bring
This is a very busy time for us, we have to keep up with each individual order and prepare for the upcoming season. We love what we do and according to our customers and reviews, they love it as well. We attend many events all over the world, yacht parties, fundraisers, birthdays and we do these things with a splash of color original designs created by Katlady Productions ©. Katlady Productions © is a friendly company that interacts with our customers and clients, Models and designers, alike, creating bonds with our community.
One of our desires at Katlady Productions © is to continually develop our uniqueness to fashion. We go past the top layer and search for the inner beauty that everyone individual possess. Our goal is to find the inner beauty and bring it to the surface. By using this approach it gives us unlimited energy and enthusiasm, with the end result being Fierce & Fabulous, one of kind designs. We don’t stop when the garment is completed, we offer Adult & Children Modeling classes, Fashion Management Services classes, Sewing
of the summer air has a positive effect on us. It is easy to see the beauty nature in the summertime. Summer is a wonderful time of the year it allows us to be one with nature. This is the best time of the year for Katlady Productions © energy, creativity and enthusiasm.
the uniqueness in you to life through fashion. Taking in the sight/ sounds and smells
We aim to learn exactly who people are because it enables us to directly cater to their inner selves. When we are finished, the feeling is Absolutely Amazing , and slay the runway every time. Models represent who they are, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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a fierce & fabulous, one of a kind individual. Our approach to summer fashions is comparable to a Peacock showing their feathers, rich bright colors blended with a fresh vision and unique one of a kind cutting edge designs. Being based in Harlem New York is especially exciting because of the many events, shows, parties and plays. This is the city that never sleeps and as a creative designer have to keep up the styles. 454
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All White events with a splash of color is a extravagant summer event that Katlady Productions © Hosts. It enables us to be creative without any limitations; blending white with many rich explosive colors of summer is what drives us. Katlady productions © has had the opportunity to slay the runway in New Jersey at the Avenal Art Center produced by Ms Khadlah Wright. Our upcoming shows are the 7th Annual R&B Under the Star’s brought to you by
the Real Harlem Basketball Players on August 10, 2019. Then Atlantic City late August 2019. September 7th New York Fashion Week is going to be amazing also. Thank you to all the readers maybe you would like to join Katlady Productions © or maybe you may see some thing you are interested in. Please free feel to contact us at katladprod@gmail. com or Teddypeterson55@gmail.com
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A SALON WORLD BY SHEILA YOUNG
Working as a stylist can be challenging and heartwarming at the same time. I’ve encountered my fair share of gives ups or what they call kitchen due. (kitchen due – processing hair in your own house in the kitchen, bath room or living room). I never thought I would be processing hair and in a shop. I have done hair in my kitchen or bath room. There is nothing wrong with helping someone become beautiful no matter how it gets done. However, the difference is the pricing. When you perform the same gift on someone in your home, most people will not pay the full price as being in a shop. My gifts are totally different from most, if not all. I specialize in coloring, haircuts, sew ins, crochets, natural hair braiding, relaxers, natural styles and many, many more. I worked with the greatest stylists and some who do not know much about hair during my career. Let’s get some pointers on some of these subjects, I will start with coloring. Anytime I get a new client, I always want to do a consultation just so I know what my client is about and what he/she likes. As well as reviewing
their medical history, if they are diabetic or have high blood pressure. Most people do not realize knowing about whether clients experience some of these symptoms can be helpful when you are processing any hair
COLORING – what color, what style and how many colors ( highlighting or blending several colors). - Most times, when coloring for the first time, a box color may not be the best choice for product. Box and or semi-permanent dye often washes out in a few weeks. The artificial pigment color can linger in your hair for years (literally) and is very difficult to “lift” later if the client wants to go lighter or add highlights. - When using color, it’s best to change shampoos made to preserve the color. Make sure the shampoo is for colored-treated hair. Clarifying shampoo’s which most people use can strip your hair of color. - Coloring or bleaching hair can damage hair. Always use conditioner and/or get conditioner treatments to make sure the hair stays healthy.
product on a client. It is important information to gather. CONSULTATION – Discuss with your client any information you need to know and especially find out what it is they are really looking for from you.
Let me provide another tip for some of you beautiful stylists or for those who are still learning the grip of hair and the personal care that comes along with hair care. Relaxers can be a bit tricky for most as well. RELAXERS - Chemical hair relaxers are designed to straighten extremely curly, coiled or tightly coiled hair by ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ BEAUTY LIES WITHIN } “Working as a stylist can be challenging and heartwarming at the same time. I’ve encountered my fair share of gives ups or what they call kitchen due. (kitchen due – processing hair in your own house in the kitchen, bath room or living room).”
within the cortex layer of the hair. Hydroxide and Thio are the most common types of hair relaxers. - If you have natural hair which we call it VIRGIN hair, it needs more precedence than already relaxed hair which we call it a RETOUCH.
breakage or over processed hair, Heck, I’ve done it myself on clients and it does not feel too good. However, what really matters and what counts is how you fix the mistake and try your best not to do that again. As stylists we encounter so many people of many
- Virgin hair must be processed completely different than Retouches. Now no matter what product you get or have in your hair, it needs personal care. Chemicals are not to be played with and can damage and break your hair, especially if you try to use two chemicals at once. Now as far as natural hair, they say it is the easiest to care for. Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not!!!! It takes more patience and time for natural hair. One nice factor about natural hair is, it is healthier, stronger and chemical-free. I recommend using products with coconut, olive oil, ghee, grass-fed butter, avocado and many more. These fats contain healthy omega 3’s, which help to assist providing softness and sheen in natural hair or for that matter, any type of hair. Now, I have come across damaged, 458
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with loss of hair or no hair if it’s not your choice. Life can be hectic. Taking time out to pamper yourself, once a week, every two weeks or once a month can be good for your soul. Try a mani or pedi. Take some time out for you to relax. As women we get so busy or have so many obligations we often forget about what we need. I’ll leave you with this…
races, attitudes and personalities. Any time you are in some type of customer service you must be built to be tough but at the same time compassionate to your clients. Some clients present with special hair needs such as those who have cancer, alopecia or any type of hair loss. They need more love than most. It is severely damaging for a woman
No matter what hair do you chose, or what chemical’s you use or even if you get braids or locks, take good care of your hair. Refrain from having dry scalp, dandruff and or bumps. Find a stylist that fits your budget and needs. Your hair is an important part of your body and deserves the love like any other part of the body. I say “Healthy Hair ROCKS” Sheila Young 515 Thurston Ave (585) 224-6014
{ SFTS BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }
ROC CITY NOTARY Angelina Everett is a graduate of Rochester Institute of Technology with a BS in Information Systems. Upon graduation she worked as an Information Analyst for Electronic Data Systems.
entrepreneur, a leader and has helped boost her confidence and brought a boldness to her where there was once a shy and timid woman. When she isn’t accessorizing you
Fo r t h e l a s t 13 yrs. she has worked at Excellus BCBS in several different positions and is currently a Quality Test Engineer. In January 2018 Angelina became an Independent Consultant o f Pa p a r a z z i Accessories and the CEO of I Am Fabulous For Five. In a short period of time she has reached several milestones in Paparazzi and is now a Life of The Party Bronze m e m b e r, a Premier Director and currently has a team of 30 Business Partners. Paparazzi has been the catalyst to her growth and development as an 460
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development. One of her quotes is “You’re never fully dressed without a Smile and Paparazzi Jewelry” Angelina has had several other businesses before, however within the last 16 months she’s had the most success and seen the most growth with her Paparazzi business. She is currently working on expanding her business locally and nationally. She can be reached We b s i t e :
with Fabulous $5 jewelry she likes swimming, riding her bike in the Tour de Cure for the American Diabetes Association, networking, and personal
IAmFabulousForFive.com InstaGram: IamAngelinaEverett Facebook: I Am Fabulous by Angelina Phone: 585-414-3290
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THE KURVIE KUEEN’S SUMMER NECESSITIES BY LATIFFANY ANDERSON
Hey Kurvie Korner readers! The summer is here, and I wanted to share with you my summer must haves. Now that the weather is warmer, we can put away the boots and sweaters. Its time for fun in the sun, beach trips, vacations, and enjoying every moment of life. Each item on my list is something I cannot go without this summer.
not to let my “flaws” hinder me from my dreams. It has not been a perfect journey, but I am still walking the path! There are two summer clothing pieces that I must have, maxi dresses, and
There is nothing you can put on to make you feel beautiful if you don’t have my number one summer must have! My number one summer necessity is confidence. Confidence is the key to all fashion. You must recognize you’re beautiful and feel great in whatever you’re wearing. Whether you’re a size 0 or 30, you can be a fashion forward kueen. Your size should not be a deciding factor on what you’d like to wear. If you feel sexy and beautiful in the outfit, wear it. You are not too skinny or to Kurvie to for any attire. In the real world there is no standard of beauty, you are your own standard. Beauty has no size, do not allow society to influence your self-esteem. When I turned twenty-five my selfesteem blossomed. That was the year where I chose to show who I am, and not who I want people to see. I decided
woman, I never thought that in my thirties I’d proudly wear crop tops. I’m glad to say my self love journey led me to a place where shorts and crop tops are frequently worn. Crop tops can be paired with skirts, shorts, palazzo pants and leggings. Stop into Kurvie Kulture, 510 state street to view a wide selection of dresses and summer attire. My next two necessities allow you to complete your looks with style and uniqueness. Many women get creative with their makeup. Summertime is the perfect opportunity to pull out the bright pinks, blues and neon colors. I haven’t become a full-face makeup kueen just yet however, I love everything about a bold lip color for the summer. My favorite colors are reds and purples. When I’m not wearing a colorful lip, I wear lip gloss.
crop tops. Maxi dresses are a summer staple for most women. They come in several lengths, colors and prints. Maxi dresses can be worn by women of all shapes and sizes. As a plus size young
R e c e n t l y, I w a s introduced to the perfect hues and longlasting lip glosses that Traci M cosmetics offers. Traci M cosmetics offers a variety of colors that are compatible for all skin tones. She offers a clear gloss that I carry with me in my purse as well as my work bags. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2019
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{ THE KURVIE KORNER } “As you all know Kurvie Korner is all about everything that empowers, encourages, and uplifts women.”
Her matte lip sticks are easy to apply and are the perfect addition to any summer outfit. I am in love with a pop of color on my nails. Manicures and full sets can be simple all the way to extreme art. Your nails are just as important as you’re outfit. You can express yourself through your color, texture, jewelry or words. None of my summer looks are complete without a purse or a pair of fabulous sunglasses. My summer purse styles range from work bags, crossbody bags, clutches, or a large overnight bag. Handbags can take a simple outfit to an
extravagant one. As you all know I am in love with colors. This handbag can be found at Raquel Denise Handbags. It’s vibrant colors, unique design and affordable price make it the perfect addition to any summer look. Paired with a stunning bag must be a pair of sunglasses. My collection contains over thirty pairs. The options are endless and create a way to be playful, serious, sexy and fun. Last and certainly not least, I cannot complete an outfit without a unique shoe. I am not a 6-inch heel diva, so I have to find shoes that are sexy, stylish,
and comfortable. I have several pairs of flats, sandals, and low inch heels. I purchase my shoes from Justfab or my own boutique Kurvie Kulture. KK and Justfab both have a variety of shoes for any woman, they are also very budget friendly.