This new col umn focuses on the perspective of parents whose children enter the foster care system. jeremiah Donier is a dad who successfully worked through a plan for reunification. Now, he serves as a mentor to other parents in si mi lar situations and provides the valuable insight only offered by those with lived experience.
E UITABLE ECONOMIC SUPPORTS FOR DADS
By jeremiah Donier
"deadbea t dad" is a terrible stereotype. It dismisses socia l and ec.o nomic cha llenges some men face in becoming responsible fathers, as we ll as an overa ll lack of fatherfriendly services. Th ese are among the many reasons why professionals and peers are ca ll ing for more equit ab le economic supports for dads and fami li es.
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Before delving into equity, und erstand this is not about equa lity or condemning single parents. People need help with diverse things, at different leve ls. Equality sends a coup le to a lactation special ist. It helps a mother but leaves a father's needs ou t of the picture. Equity helps a young father emotionally attach with his newborn child .
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FOSTERING FAMILIES TODAY •
In my personal experience, most services are not father-friendly. When I applied for assistance, benefits were placed in my wife's name. I cou ld not schedule my children's appointments until my partner added me as an approved contact. Women, Infants, and Chi ld ren was a we lcome support for my wife and ch ild, but no one asked if I needed help. Transitioning off assistance was not any better. Despite my more chal lenging background it fell to me to find employment first, with less support than my spouse. Eventually, I found part-time work and became a stay-at-home dad. Based on my profession al work, I know it is harder for single and nonresident fathers. When I talk with professiona ls about including and
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supporting these fath ers, the reply is often, "Mothers do not want these guys around." Research demonstrates this assumption is untrue. The 2014 Robert Wood johnson Foundation's Fragile Families and Chi ld Wellbeing report found at the time of bir'th, moms in 99% of co-habitating, 99% of visiting, and 74% of non-romantic re lationships want dads involved. Data co ll ected by Washington's Department of Social and Health Services, Economic Services Administration (DSHS/ESA) found parental acknowledgment in non-marital births progressively increased from 72% in 2015 to 80% in 2020. The National Fatherhood Initiative used U.S. Census Bureau's 2020 Current Population Survey data to show respons ible fatherhood is