Fostering Families Today - From the Family - May 2022

2014 Adoption Excellence Award U.S. Department of Health & Human Services & 2012 Media Award Winner National Association of Social Workers

RESPECTING AND HEALING TRIBAL CULTURAL CONNECTIONS

By jeremiah Donier

Hopi and Navajo tribal member Albert Pooley hears the echoes of his forefathers every day in the work he does as president of the Native American Fatherhood and Fam i lies Association (NAFFA).

"Imag ine what our forefathers wou ld say to us today," said Pooley. "They wou ld probably shout, 'We are here with you. We know about dark days, pain, suffering, sorrow and hard times. Help each other. Care for each other. Comfort each other Protect one another. Be l ieve in you rself, your fam ili es and each other and feel our sp i rit."'

Sin ce 2001, Pooley has worked to bring healing and comfort to families torn apart by decades of pain and suffering resulting from the federa l government's oversight of Native American tribes.

The programs Pooley created help Native Amer ican fathers and mothers become models of healthy parenting and bring healing to their families and greater tr ibal communities.

To understand why NAFFA's work is transformative, it is important to know the history of Native Amer ican ch ildren in foster care and the Ind ian Chi ld Welfare Act (ICWA).

A 2019 Partners for Our Ch il dren br ief on the Indian Child Welfare Act details the forced removal of thousands of Native Amer ican children from the i r families and subsequent relocation to more than 357 tr i ba l boardi ng schoo ls scattered across 30 states, from the early 1870s through the late 1970s. For more than a century federal policy dubbed, "kill the Indian, save the man," resulted in Native American chi ldren being stripped of cultural identity and family connection.

Whe n boarding schools became too cost ly to ma inta i n, the federal government determined Native American ch il d r en we r e better off in othe r settings, typically wh ite Christian foster and adoptive families. The pol icy was so li dified in the 1958 Indian Adoption Project created by the Bureau of Indian Affairs and administered by the Child We lfare League of America, accordi ng to the Up stander Project. Thi s resulted in hundreds of thousands more triba l chil dren placed i nto foster care, creat i ng a growing d isconnect among Native American family members and the resulting intergenerationa l trauma sti ll preva lent today.

By 1976, one in three Native American children were taken from families; more than 85% were placed in nontribal homes. ICWA was passed in 1978 after tribal leade r s began call in g for po li cy reforms. And as Partners for Chil dren notes, ICWA became the "gold standard" because it recognizes the ri ght of Native Amer ican children to be connected to extended fami ly, elders, community and cu lture w hile also acknowledging tribal r ig hts to protect and care for their ch il dren.

But, despite federal la ws designed to keep Native American children w ith their families , healing decades of

trauma is not eas i ly overcome. Th e damage is still evident today.

Nati ve Amer ican commun ities experience the largest foster care d ispropo rti o n al ity According to a 2019 Nationa l Indian Child Welfare Associat ion report, 57% of a ll triba l chi ldren in South Dakota were in foster care; 53% of triba l children in

"Our greatest happiness and greatest sorrows come from our re lat ionsh i ps with our fam i ly," sa id Pooley. "Our . existence and happiness are dependent upon building and nurturing stro ng relat io n sh ips."

Agencies who use the programs reported to NAFFA a marked decrease in parent recidivism and a

Alaska were i n care, 39% in North Dakota, 34% in Montana, and 27% i n Minnesota.

When Pooley realized tribal relat ives considered Native American men the cause of many fami ly-re lated soc ia l problems, he flipped the scrip t. He saw Native American fathers as the community's greatest untapped resource, and ca ll ed for parents to become leaders in protecting ch ildren and keeping fami li es together: Drawing from deep compassion, Pooley began promoting tr iba l unity by creating two parent training programs: Fatherhood is Sacred/ Motherhood is Sacred®

significant in crease in ch il d support. Proponents of the programs include seven tribes, 10 tr i ba l courts, three drug treatment centers, four jails, and an adult probation program.

At www.Nat iveAmericanFathers.org, men in the Fatherhood is Sacred program share heartbreaking experiences of growing up in alc o ho li c families, of sexual and physical abuse, as wel l as stor ies of abandonment by their d isconnected, struggling fam ilies. Fatherhood is Sacred offers the men hope and healing for themselves and the ir f ami lies.

As of November 2021, nearly 2,000 facilitator s reached 250 tribal commu-

1 PhotocourtesyofNAPPA NAFFA Executive Director Albert Pooley surrounded by the organization 's staff.

nit ies in 27 states and three Ca n ad ian pro v inces.

NAF FA offers t wo other programs: Addressing Fam il y Violence & Abuse® delves into t h e conflict between partners, understanding past trauma and healing relationships. Linking Generations by Strengthening Re lat ionships® connects parents with the wisdom and kindness of relat ives to build stronger community and cultural connections. Each program is an

Program fac i litators focus on healing by loving the people they serve and lo v ing w hat the y bring to them, wh ich in turn helps participants overcome ad ve rs ity, prejudice and misunderstanding. Part ic i pants hear posit ive messages about tr i bal heritage and spiritual connections while learning five core principlesCreator, Choice, Teachable, Wisdom and Service The ob j ect ive is to he l p parents become better parents

"Ma ny women came back to take the class again," said Trina Fitzgerald of the Mendocino County Department of Corrections which facilitates Motherhood is Sacred w ith women from the Round Valley Indian Tribe, i n Cove lo, California. "They liked the information and how it gave them hope."

"Native Americans do not have a co lonized understanding of family," said Shana King, who serves as a parent mentor for Minnesota's ICWA Law Center and is also a Holy Ow l Woman, Mandan, H idatsa and Arikara Nation. "In my fami ly, my cousins were :::onsidered siblings, and my aunties are m y children's grandmothers. To protect children's cu ltural ident ity, (other people) need to understand how tribes define relati ves ."

important part of rebui lding the broke n relat ionships caused by decades of trauma in the Native American commun ity.

"Anybody can just be there w ith their kids, but to actually be a father and be a man is something total ly different," shares one man in the v ideo. 'They're actually showing me ho w to li ve, they're show ing me how to be a father, how to lead and be there for my kids."

A lthough NAFFA's primary focus is to r ebui ld Nat ive Amer ican fam ili es, the group a lso encourages those parenting Native American children in the foster care system to "start by finding out what tribe the child is from," said Valerie Ho ll obaugh, NAFFA public relations and economic coordinator. "There are records of who is part of the tribe. Contact that tribe, research what kind of culture they have, make connections, visit, ask when (you and the child) can connect to understand wha t they do."

When identifying potentia l connections, remember tribes are sovereign nations, separate governments within the United States. Triba l council elders decide whether to include someone in the cultural community. Although NAFFA wo rks to preserve family connections, it is important to understand each t ri be's perspect ive.

After years spent in foster care, King's own disconnect from her commun ity ultimately led to a heroin addiction and, for a time, losing her own children to the foster care system. Now a parent mentor at the ICWA Law Center in Minneapol is, King works w ith other tribal members who've lost their children to the system and often serves as a cultural liaison between foster and bio log ica l parents.

King helps non-Native foster parents understand the complexities of reaching out to and help i ng fami l ies on remote r eservatio n s. She says not every tribe operates a casino wi th a shopping center and shuttle buses . Instead, most reservation residents are l ucky if a gas station is avai lable. Getting essent ial goods is d ifficult w hen it takes hours to drive to the supermarket, and impossible if a famil y doesn't own a car.

Getting to parenting classes, lega l or medical appointments off the reserva tion in a different cultural setting is even tougher. Consequently, bu ilding what the ch i ld we lfare system calls "protective factors" such as socia l connections, child care and food, is hard when few social connect ions and concrete supports are ava i lable within a tr i bal community.

PhotocourtesyofShanaKing Shana King with her son Joshan who passed away in late 2021

'The Native Amer ican way is different from Western ideas," King sa id. "We feel a sp i ritual connection to each other and the world around us but feel isolated in closed spaces, including homes, with no tribal social connections. Family is our heart, this is beyond a bond between ch ild and parent, it is a deep connection to aunties, grandmothers, unc les and grandfathers."

She reminds foster parents that tribes have dealt with broken trust and trauma for generations, and it continues to live in the i r DNA, and taking a child adds to th is hurt. 'To heal we need meaningfu l connections," King said.

Foster parents should reach out to the tribe, talk with a triba l l iaison, and ask how the chi ld can be included. This can be something as simple as a beading class or sacr-ed as a naming ceremony. 'These connecting moments matter, it defines who we are," King said.

It's a lso i mportant foster parents not vi li fy biological families for the mistakes they've made and to support reunification, King said.

As one Fatherhood is Sacred® participant shares in the video, "We are worth more than the biggest m istake we made i n our l ives " •

jeremiahDonierservesasafamily consultantwithmorethan75years oflivedexpertiseinbehavioral health,childdevelopment,domestic violence,protectivefactors,multi-

generationaladversitiesand responsiblefathering.Asavolunteer andcontractedconsultant,he servesondozensofprojectstokeep childrensafe,helpyouththrive,build strongfamiliesandcreatesupportive communities.Donierliveson

WhidbeyIslandwithhisw1jeandtwo childrenandalsoworkspart-time asalibraryassociate.Injune2072, DonierwasnamedonetheAmerican BarAssociation'sfirstReunification Heroes.In2079,hewashonored withaCaseyExcellenceforChildren Award.