Session 4

Session 4 4.1.2 Body and mind influence each other both ways

4.1 Conditioning and programming 4.1.1 Perception and projection Perception means sensing. Projection means attributing your own motives or experiences onto others or the world. If you want to change things it is useful to investigate your judgments and projections. Like we have already discussed in session 1: everything you perceive, you unknowingly filter. You deform the objective perception and you leave out a lot of information. That is how your subjective internal representation forms. What you think you are perceiving is merely your subjective perception of reality. What is remarkable, is that you then attribute this perception into the world, by means of your behaviour and communication. You do not perceive the world as it is, but how you have experienced it unconsciously. How you perceive the people around you for example, is your way of perceiving.

This way you often create your own self-fulfilling prophecy. A prophecy that you formulate unconsciously, and that you fulfil by yourself.

Session 4

The last couple of years, a lot of research has been done into the impact of our unconscious thinking on how our body works and reacts. Deeprak Chopra, an Indian writer and doctor says that every thought can have a certain influence on every single cell in our bodies.

Everything you think, can present itself in your body one way or another. The word ‘not’ only exists in language.

Not in our internal and external dialogue and not in the images, sounds, feelings, taste, scents or our internal representations. You can only not think of something, after you have thought of it. If you do not want to think about your best friend, you first must think about your best friend.

You create an internal dialogue consisting of images, sounds, feelings, scents and taste to then “know” via your internal dialogue that you don’t want to think about these things! In this way, the saying: “I must not forget this” has a different impact on us than the saying”: “I must remember this”. It is effective to use positively formulated messages.

Exercise 1. Close your eyes. Don’t think about the pink elephant in the following minute. What happens?

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4.1.3

Cause and Effect

We know the cause-and-effect statement from causal thinking. Causal means there is a relation between the cause and the effect. Everything we can perceive has a cause. We use this statement to change matters like behaviour and communication, for example. If you assume that the cause of what is happening to you is unchangeable, you are on the effect side of this basic frame. See Circle of Involvement (on page 23). You lay the cause outside of yourself. If you stand on the cause side of the frame, the Circle of Influence, you seek the change of your behaviour in yourself. You take responsibility for what happens to you in life and hereby create freedom of choice. The big advantage here is that you can actually change something. If you change, the situations around you can change.

Wanting our brain to stop thinking unpleasant and negative thoughts, is impossible.

Our head simply produces a lot of thoughts in a day. What you do have influence over however, is how serious you take the dialogue in your head? What do you focus on? Are you in internal dialogue with yourself all day, in an attempt to “rule over them”? Or do you live your life?

Exercise 2.

Your thought cloud

Making an artwork of negative thoughts. Our mind produces thoughts constantly.

Session 4

Some thoughts however stop by more often than others.

Often these are the thoughts that occupy us, grab our attention and are in our way. Unfortunately for us, we cannot stop thinking. We can however deal with them differently.

An exercise that can help with this, is making your own thought cloud. This is a visual representation of thoughts that stop by the most. By making thought clouds and hanging them in a prominent spot in your home, you are being reminded of them. Subsequently, you will start to recognize these thoughts.

Which unpleasant thoughts shoot through your head the most?

Example thought cloud

Make a top 10 and write these down: examples: “I am worthless”, “this will never be right”, “I cannot make mistakes”, of “I must always be happy”.

You have now made a list of thoughts that go through your head often and that give you a hard time.

You can make a thought cloud for free on: www.wordle.net Click on: Create your own.

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Exercise 3.

4.2

Give your mind a nickname

If your mind says you cannot do something, you still have the choice to do or not do things. Taking distance from your mind by nicknaming the voice in your head can help with this. Especially if you are willing to write a story about it from time to time. Choose a name that reminds you of someone you like, but whom you are not friends with.

Notice when you listen to your mind, and when you do not. The question is if you are willing to do what you find important, even when your mind shouts that you cannot handle it.

Habit breaker

Breaking habits is not hard. The core is simply: “do something else for a change”. Go sit in a different spot on the table. Put out the tv or take a different route home. Visit someone you have not talked to for a long time. Wear two different types of socks. If you want to be totally crazy: step into the shower and cover yourself with yoghurt. Preferably the most expensive available in the store. Choose a song you normally would not listen to. For example, a sentimental ballad, a carnival song, songs from old times. Enjoy, because this creates creativity! Do realise that it takes time and practice before the power of these exercises manifests itself.

Exercise 4. Make a joke about your mind in an opposite thought cloud

Session 4

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