MiF Session 5

Page 1


Session 5

Dealing with difficult situations

Hard things are part of life. Our way of dealing with problems determines to what extent the problems affect our lives. Sometimes we can get overwhelmed (drowning in the feelings). If we worry a lot, the worries can start to control our lives. We hope that the problems will be solved by thinking about them a lot and worrying even more. Unfortunately, this often backfires. Some people don’t think about their problems at all, hoping they will go away on their own. This is also called avoidance. In problem situations, most people automatically go into ‘do mode’. In that do-mode, they are actively worrying or avoiding. Sometimes that only makes problems worse, especially if they’re problems you can’t just solve. Most people notice that their body also becomes tense at such a moment and that they feel angry or afraid inside.

The five-minute exercise can help you at such a time because this exercise can put you in the being mode. When you’re in being mode, your body can relax. The being mode also means accepting that the situation is as it is at that moment. You don’t have to fight or flee. This is also pleasant and gives a little more relaxation. For some people, the five-minute exercise also helps to take some distance from the difficult situation, making it easier for them to decide what to do with the situation after the exercise. If you do the five-minute exercise in a difficult situation, this exercise is also called the ‘five-minute coping’ exercise. Coping means: way of dealing with a difficult situation.

How does the five-minute coping exercise work exactly?

This short exercise consists of three steps:

1. Awareness:

Consciously consider what thoughts come up as a result of the unpleasant event. Are there also certain (psychological) feelings that you are experiencing now?

After that, feel your body. What do you feel in your body, maybe the feelings in your body have to do with the difficult situation?

2. Focusing on your breathing: Focus your attention on your breathing, your inhalation and exhalation. Your breath helps you stay in the here and now.

3. Focus on your body: Then focus attention on the whole body. Feel how you breathe in and out.

If you want to try this exercise, choose a difficult situation for you.

If you put ten stones in a row, next of difficulty from 1 to 10.

Then choose a stone for the first time with the difficulty 5-6. This way you can manage it, without getting overwhelmed.

Sitting with attention

By constantly shifting the focus, you learn to be very aware of experiences in the moment, without reacting immediately. You observe, perceive, while sitting still. You practice non-reactivity so that you do not react automatically. This way allows you to suspend your usual approach to negative experiences, by ridding them of judgments and expectations.

We are talking about two forms of reactions:

1.You rate an experience as pleasant and you want to keep it (preferred)

2.You judge an experience as unpleasant and you want to get rid of it it makes you angry (disgust)

As the old habits lose strength, it becomes easier to take the right action in problematic moods and situations instead of automatically reacting to them. By moving the focus you can distance yourself and you make the choice yourself where you focus your attention.

The goal is not relaxation or a pleasant feeling. You don’t have to like it as long as you do it.

It’s about learning to be free from the tendency to go along with automatic reactions to pleasant and unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and events. You can’t prevent it from straying, but you can free yourself from it in a non-judgmental way when it happens.

Streams of thought are like roundabouts; You can keep going the same way endlessly, hoping that this time you will see the right road on the road signs. But instead, it’s better to take a turn after two laps. Even if it’s not the right one, you can at least get a new clue.

You can’t stop thinking You can become one with thinking and stop thinking about thinking

Exercises for the coming week at session 5

1. Do the sitting meditation for 5 days. After the sitting meditation you can do the yoga exercises or a walking meditation.

2. Apply the five-minute exercise three times a day, including once the five-minute exercise as coping (after unpleasant events or feelings of discomfort).

3. Fill in the “unpleasant events” log. (one topic per day) Use this to really become aware of your thoughts, feelings and physical sensations, of an unpleasant event on the moment you have them. Notice them and write them down as soon as possible and detailed.

The goal is not to get rid of negative thoughts but to simply allow them and let go of the urge to engage with them, respond to them or reassure yourself by denying their validity.

Oefening 3

Wees je bewust van een onprettige gebeurtenis terwijl die plaatsvindt. Gebruik de volgende vragen om eerst je aandacht te brengen naar de details van de ervaring. Schrijf het daarna op.

What was your experience? Were you aware of the unpleasant event while it was taking place?

For example, I was stuck in traffic and knew I would be late for an important appointment yes

What bodily sensations Did you have during the event?

What kind of feelings, Did you have any thoughts at the time of the experience? What thoughts do you have as you write this down?

Headache, tense neck, shoulders Angry powerless What will they think of me now that I’m late?

Must happen to me again

We have now reached the end of week 4. You have read the texts, done the assignments, listened to the audio files daily and thought about yourself in this way. Now briefly summarize what you have learned from this session.

1. What do you take away from this session

2. what are you going to do next week

3. What will this bring you?

Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.