1 The Autopilot
During the first meeting we are introduced to the autopilot and what it is like to consciously focus your attention. Meditation or mindfulness begins with the recognition that we tend to do things on autopilot and with the intention of learning how best to turn them off and become aware of each moment.
It probably also happens to you regularly that you do something while you are not there with your thoughts. Some people can drive miles in the car on autopilot, without being aware that they are driving.
Sometimes people are so lost in thought that they no longer notice what is happening in the environment. In people who have been gloomy or depressed in the past, negative feelings often evoke old thoughts from the period when they were gloomy. This also happens on autopilot. For example, when something small goes wrong (for example, dropping a glass), it immediately evokes very negative thoughts (such as: you see, I’m not good for anything, I’m worthless). These thoughts often come naturally and before you know it you have entered a negative spiral.
By becoming more aware of the moment, of your thoughts and of your feelings that you have at a certain moment, you become more and more able to change the focus of your attention. As a result, you are less carried away by unpleasant stimuli from the inner world (worrying thoughts) and from the outside world (sounds, etc.).
The do mode and the be mode
Thinking is a unique gift. By thinking, you can interpret the world around you and analyze and solve problems. While thinking, your brain is actively absorbing and processing information. To a certain extent, thinking is a pleasant activity. However, thinking for long periods of time, especially about complicated or stressful things, can make you feel like your brain is “overloaded.” This can lead to headaches, pressure in your head or other complaints of overload. Apparently, it is important to find a balance between thinking and a state in which the brain is more or less at rest. With mindfulness, tools are given to achieve this ‘peace’. It is important to recognize whether the brain is at rest or not.
We distinguish two different ‘states’ of the brain, namely the do mode and the being mode. In do-mode your brain is active and you strive for something, in being-mode you accept the situation as it is.
Do-mode
The do mode is activated when a situation is different from what you want, or when you want to achieve something. For example, if you are learning for an exam, you strive to gain knowledge so that you can pass the exam. During the process of gathering knowledge, you are in do-mode, because you are actively working to change something, to achieve something.
In such a situation, it is good to be in do-mode and to be actively engaged with your brain. However, in other situations, it is not pleasant to be in do mode.
Suppose you are lying in bed and you hear, through the ceiling, the footsteps of your upstairs neighbor. You suffer from this and you want it to stop. In the past you have tried everything and from experience you know that nothing helps. Even though you know you can’t do anything about it, you still keep going through the possibilities in your head. The result is that you end up in a negative thought spiral and keep worrying, while you don’t solve anything. So you are continuously in do mode.
So this is a difficult situation that you cannot change. Many people will try to come up with solutions in such a situation, against their better judgment. When you do this, you get stuck in the do mode, as it were. As a result, you keep thinking and worrying, without this leading to anything. That takes a lot of energy. Because it is not possible to change the situation, the frustration increases, which makes you feel more and more uncomfortable.
The being mode
In being mode, you accept that the situation is as it is. So you’re not thinking about what you could or should change to get the situation to be the way you want it to be. In an unpleasant situation for which there is no immediate solution, you accept that there is no solution. You accept that it is unpleasant at that moment, but do not actively look for a solution. That seems very similar, because you get stuck in an unpleasant situation, as it were. Yet it is often more pleasant than fighting against a situation for which there is no immediate solution. By accepting the situation, your body can relax, as it were, and you can ultimately think more easily and clearly. Sometimes that alone makes the situation less unpleasant.
Even in a situation where you can’t let go of your thoughts, it can help to actively step into being mode. For example, when you’re in bed and keep thinking, you can get into being mode by actively focusing your attention on your breathing or your body. This makes it easier for you to fall asleep.
In being mode you are in ‘the now’ with your attention. This may sound a bit vague, but if you are worrying or thinking compulsively, you are often focused on the past (what have I done today) or in the future (what if I do not find a solution to this problem? Or: what do I have to do at work in the coming weeks?). When you’re in being mode, focus your attention on how you’re doing right now (right now).
You accept the situation as it is now and focus your attention on what is there right now. By staying in the ‘now’, you don’t worry about the past or the future.
How do I recognize the do mode?
You recognize the do mode because your brain is active in solving a problem or because it is striving for something. This can feel nice, because you often feel active and sharp. In those moments, it’s fine to be in Do mode. However, it can also be unpleasant to be in do mode. In those moments you feel overloaded, unsatisfied and in need of rest. The do mode is also sometimes accompanied by judgment — you think in terms of “right” and “wrong.” Often in the do mode you are very critical of yourself. Sometimes it can feel like you’re out of control of your thoughts in Do mode: they seem unstoppable. It may be that you get tired of thinking and some people get physical complaints due to thinking / worrying a lot.
How do I recognize the being mode?
You recognize the being mode because your brain is at rest, as it were. You don’t have to think so much and you’re not focused on a particular goal. You also notice that you are focusing your attention on what you are currently doing. Your thoughts are not with the past or with the future, but you focus your attention on the now. So you are not thinking about (analyzing) the future or the past. Thoughts, feelings, and sounds are transient events that arise in the mind, receive attention, and then disappear. The thoughts and sounds do not immediately trigger an automatic sequence of (other) thoughts or actions. Because you do not think, interpret and analyze, your mind gets more peace. In being mode, you accept what’s there, without wanting to change it. You don’t judge the things you do or that happen. Your brain doesn’t really have to ‘do’ anything, and then only deals with the experience of the moment. This can feel like a release from all the tension and pressure that has arisen from wanting/having to meet the expectations of yourself and others.
What can help you get out of Do mode?
When you feel uncomfortable in do mode, it’s good to know how to get into being mode. You will learn that during the meditation course. You can use the different meditation techniques that are discussed. For example, breathing meditation helps you focus attention on the breath, making you less focused on thoughts about the past and the future. Every time you notice that you have a thought, you go back to your breathing with your attention. By following your breathing you are in the now and therefore in the being mode.
When you’re on the move, are you in Do mode or BE mode?
The term do mode is sometimes a bit confusing. Domode is not about whether you are physically moving. It’s about whether you’re actively striving for something in your head or not. So you can move in being mode: by focusing your attention on the experience of that moment, for example by feeling how your legs move or by listening to the sounds of the environment.
This way you can also move and Being in do mode: for example, by thinking about what you are going to do tomorrow or by thinking about the things that happened yesterday. At that moment you are not paying attention to what you are doing at that moment or what is there at that moment and you are therefore in do mode.
DE BODY SCAN
The body scan is done at home sitting on a chair or meditation cushion or lying on a mat or on the bed. You can use the mp3 file as support.
The body scan is an exercise in consciousness. With the body scan you focus your attention on a different body part, until you have walked past your entire body. This way you learn to focus your attention and concentrate better and better. You stay with a certain body part for a while, investigating whether you feel something there. It’s okay if you don’t feel anything, it’s about learning to focus and hold your attention. Regularly your mind will wander to thoughts or to sounds. This is normal, that happens to everyone. Try to accept that your attention is straying, and then try to return your attention to the part of the body where you left off.
Some people who practice the body scan find it difficult to feel their body at first. Other people, by focusing on their body, are confronted with pain complaints. It is important to accept what is happening in your body.
Andere mensen worden, door zich op hun lichaam te concentreren, juist geconfronteerd met pijnklachten. Hierbij is het belangrijk om te accepteren wat er in je lichaam gebeurt.
YOU’RE OKAY THE WAY YOU ARE
In meditation we assume that you are okay as you are. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, but all those qualities make you unique. If you no longer had your strengths and weaknesses, you would no longer be yourself.
Maybe you have mental health problems, maybe you have more practical problems. From our point of view, problems and difficulties are part of life. There is no one who goes through life without problems. Furthermore, problems often also give an opportunity to learn and therefore to develop.
Many people tend to worry about things that aren’t perfect. These can be character traits, but also other things that you don’t think are perfect about your life. Most people find that it’s not helpful to worry about that kind of thing. You feel uncomfortable with it and some people even get depressed because of it.
The mindfulness exercises can help you to stay more in the here-and-now. By staying in the hereand-now, you can more easily get rid of worrying thoughts. And better accept that you are who you are, with your positive and with your less positive sides.
Attention orientation means that you give attention in a special way:
► purposefully
► at the time
► without judgments
Quote Jon Kabat-Zinn Tips when doing the exercises
► If you keep falling asleep
If you notice that you fall asleep while lying down, you can also do the exercise while sitting.
► If you find yourself distracting them all the time It’s all about practicing to keep coming back. It’s not wrong to get distracted, that’s normal. It’s part of the meditation process Accept that you are distracted, and then try to return. Don’t give yourself upside down but be kind and calmly return your attention to the focus point.
It is important that you are aware that you are being distracted. Only then can you make the choice to return. So it is very good that you are aware of it!
► If you experience pain in your body and want to sit down
Notice : where did you feel the pain? See if you can stop and think about it at that moment and then go back with your attention to where we were. You can also lie down, there is nothing wrong with that, but try to do it with attention.
► If you feel bad about having different thoughts every time
You don’t have to fight that. The more you fight against thoughts, the more important you make them. Accept that you are distracted and be kind to yourself. And then return to your body.
► If you don’t relax
So what you run into is that you are in your head with what exactly the intention is. Or how exactly to do it. That creates tension. Where do you feel that tension in your body? Be aware of your thought ‘I want to do well’ and then return to the moment of now and to your body.
The goal of the exercise is that you learn to focus your attention, if that makes you relaxed, that is fine. However, it is not a goal.
► If you encounter discomfort, restlessness or boredom
Realize that it takes getting used to doing nothing. We are used to always having stimuli around us. It can take a lot of getting used to to do “nothing”. It can therefore be quite confronting to reflect on yourself.
See if you can observe what you’re experiencing. Whether you can stick with it without wanting to change. Realize that everything comes and goes. Nothing stays. Everything is always changing.
EVERYTHING IS CONSTANTLY CHANGING AND WILL ALWAYS REMAIN SO
One minute meditation
-Sit upright on a chair with a straight backrest.
-Bring your back forward slightly if possible so that your spine remains free and does not rest against the backrest. You can rest your feet flat on the ground. Close your eyes or knock them down.
-Focus your attention on your breath as it flows in and out of your body. Stay in touch with the different sensations of each inhalation and each exhalation. Observe the breath without expecting anything special to happen.
-After a while, your mind may start to wander. If you notice this, you bring your attention back to your breathing in a friendly way, without blaming yourself It is not necessary to change your breathing in any way. Realizing that your mind has wandered and bringing your attention back without criticizing yourself is central to the practice of mindfulness meditation.
-Your mind may eventually become calm like a silent pond—or not. Even though you experience a moment of absolute silence, that is transient. If you are angry or annoyed, also note that this is transient . Whatever happens, just let it happen.
-after a minute, open your eyes again and be aware of the space you are in, you will move quietly again.
Exercises for next week at session 1
1. Print out the questionnaire and fill in the questions for yourself. Put them in an envelope that you only open again at the end of the training.
2.Listen to the mp3 file the ‘Bodyscan’ every day for the next week. You can do the exercise sitting or lying down. If you notice that you fall asleep every time, you can choose to do the exercise while sitting. Don’t expect to feel anything special about the exercise and try not to judge what happens during the exercise. Just try to experience what you’re experiencing.
There is a short version of twenty minutes and a long version of about forty minutes. If you can, do the long version each time. If it doesn’t work out, you can do the short version.
3. Eat something consciously every day. For example, it can be eating a cookie or a sandwich.
4. Choose a routine activity from your daily life such as brushing your teeth (or showering, drying off, etc.) and try to be aware of what you are doing from moment to moment during this activity. You continuously focus your attention on what you are doing.
Questionnaire for assignment 1
Please complete the following questions if applicable
1. Through the mindfulness training I want to learn to worry less
Indicate the degree of burden ... ( digit between 0 and 10)
If you never worry you give a 0 if you worry a lot a 10
2. Through the mindfulness training I want to learn to be kinder, gentler to myself
Degree of friendliness ... ( digit between 0 and 10)
If you are very strict/judge of yourself then you give a 0 you are very friendly and mild to yourself a 10
3. Through mindfulness I hope to become less gloomy
Indicate the degree of gloom ... ( digit between 0 and 10)
If you are very gloomy you give a 10 you are not gloomy at all a 0
4. Through the mindfulness training I want to learn to avoid fewer situations
Degree of avoidance ... ( digit between 0 and 10)
If you avoid a lot then you give a 10 , you avoid nothing you give a 0
5. Through the mindfulness training I want to learn to experience less tension throughout the day
Indicate the degree of burden ... ( digit between 0 and 10)
Lots of voltage a 10 ,no voltage a 0
6. Through the mindfulness training I want to learn to stop my thoughts more easily.
Indicate the degree of burden ... ( digit between 0 and 10)
Trouble stopping thoughts a 10, no trouble a 0
7. Through the mindfulness training I hope to feel and indicate my limits better.
Indicate the degree of burden ... ( digit between 0 and 10)
If you can indicate your limits very well, then you give a 0 . If you have a lot of trouble with this, you give a 10
8. Through the mindfulness training I hope to fall asleep easier / faster. Indicate the degree of burden ... ( digit between 0 and 10)
Sleep bad give you a 10 sleep you very well a 0
9. Through the mindfulness training I want to learn to focus my attention. Indicate the degree of burden ... ( digit between 0 and 10)
Poor concentration 10 , good concentration a 0
10. Through the mindfulness course I hope to feel more happy
Rate the degree to which you feel happy... ( digit between 0 and 10)
11. I hope/wish myself the following
We have now reached the end of week 1. You have read the texts, done the assignments, listened to the audio files daily and thought about yourself in this way. Now briefly summarize what you have discovered this session.
1. what do you take away from this session
2. what are you going to do next week
3. what will this bring you?