Sorrento Bowling Club Magazine Issue 91 December 2022

SORRENTO BOWLING CLUB’S QUARTERLY NEWS

Contents

From Your Editors

Members in Action

More Members in Action

Our President’s Report

Men's Captain's Report

Women's Captain's Report

Dash for Cash Winners

Are you a Team Player?

Long-Serving Club Members

My Spelling Checker Lets Me Down Again!

A Long Swim by Gum

Letters to the Editor

Our Annual Cancer Day

Another First for Sorrento!

Clubs WA's "Long Term Service Award"

Phenomenal Two Letter Word

McCarthys Prove "Some Things are Meant to Be"

How To Write "Good"!

Numbers No Problem for Tireless Tony

Darts Report

Croquet Report 36 Tribute to Eric Tompkins: 1933-2022

Opening Day

Some Photos from Opening Day

The Bowler’s Prayer (Based on Psalm 23)

Why Do Volunteers Volunteer?

Rude, Lewd, Crude and Nude

"Victor Naked”

The Missing Dollar 52

Some Memories from Christmases Past

Golf versus Bowls

Guess Who?

Training and Development Courses

From Your Editors

Welcome

We would like to take this opportunity to wish all our readers a very happy Christmas and a great and prosperous 2023. We hope that our bowlers, croquet and dart players shave a wonderful and successful season and end up winning awards!

Several members assist with our magazine and we would like to thank:

• Wendy Flack for making sure we receive all the photos and articles used in the weekly news letter

• Denis Croker for designing the cover of this Christmas edition and helping with the photography and statistics used

• Brian Lucas who is always prepared to embellish rough drafts and provide contributions

• Lesley Hughes for her delightful poem titled "Victor Naked”

• Gerald Hanna and Spider Webb for their contributions

• Peter McIntosh for the story on what bowls does to your health and why Captain Cook was a good guy (in the next Edition)

• Jim Woodward for his well written and interesting articles

• Trevor Orton for his help with suggestions and detailed reports

• Jan Paniperis for her funny stories. Jan has been our proof reader for many years and we thank her for correcting our errors

• Brian Staples for his article "Are you a Team Player?

• Gary Bobridge for his article on the similarities of bowls and golf

• Ian Lucas who is always prepared to help

• Chloe Lucas who organised the photos for the quiz in this edition

• Ian Wittber, Mike Berecry, Ray Stapledon, Ian Johnson and Alan Rolls for their contributions.

Clarifications, Corrections and Apologies

Apologies to Tracey Newman for misspelling her name in the printed

copies of our 2022/23 Fixture Booklet. We managed to fix this error on the digital copy. Some may ask how this could happen! Well we were told that Tracey had an "e" on the end of her name so we called her Tracy Newmane instead of Tracey Newman!

Some more "Did you hear/know? Gerald Hanna tells us that one rainy afternoon two of our bowlers showed great dedication and determination? Jan Konig and JJ Landman, were determined to withstand the elements and continued playing against each other after having already played an afternoon of 2-4-2. So, with the rain clouds threatening and beverage of choice in hand they played end after end. In the meantime, those threatening clouds developed into rain clouds. But that didn’t stop our intrepid bowlers who continued, until floodlights were required, to complete their game. Eventually it was time to come in. Upon reaching the club house and looking like drowned rats the question was asked: "You were brave bowling in the rain boys? Their immediate response was: "Rain wasn’t the problem. Our beer glasses had become rain gauges!"

Did you know that according to Dr. Lamb from McGill University, playing bowls increases the blood pressure, ruins the disposition, spoils the indigestion, induces neurasthenia, hurts the eyes, calluses the hands, ties knots in the nervous system, debauches the morals, drives men to drink, breaks up the family, turns the ductless glands into internal warts, corrodes the pneumogastric nerve, breaks off the edges of the vertebrae, induces spinal meningitis and progressive mendacity and starts angina pectoris? Thanks to Peter McIntosh for bringing this useful information to our attention.

Did you know that a Sorrento team consisting of Matt Sharrett, Jan Konig and Murray Hulbert played in the Bowls Premier League qualifying round at Quinns Rock? After two convincing wins in games

one and two, they went down in a tie breaker in the third match but unfortunately failed to qualify. Good effort guys.

Did you know that Kerry Hutchinson and Wendy Flack took part in the 2022 Professional Bowls Australia event at Rossmoyne? Spread over two weekends, with four gruelling days of bowls, winners earn a place in the annual international competition to be played in the UK in coming months. Kerry and Wendy did well over the four days but will not be going to the UK!

Did you hear that at a critical stage of a bowls game Mike McGeehan walked up to the head to review the position of the bowls? Having made an important decision on what bowl to play he returned to the mat and promptly put down a wrong bias!

Did you hear that on one wet afternoon (23 July 2022) when we were playing under cover at Innaloo, Saulie was the first to finish his game? This is apparently a "World Record".

Did you know that Ron Taylor has been volunteering behind our bar and carrying out the role of assistant treasurer for 15 years? He mans the bar every Sunday morning and into the afternoon to make sure our Social bowlers and Scroungers are well looked after.

Did you hear that our new members Derek and Pat Boardman have problems with people misspelling the surname? They get known as BOADMAN, BEARDMAN, BOREDMAN, BORMAN, BREADMAN and BODEMAN!

Did you know that Brian Staples, when organising teams on a Thursday afternoon, often drops out from the draw to ensure even numbers and to avoid members muttering when a four has to play a three. This

Rob Tozer with his beautiful daughter Courtney at her wedding in St Peters in Florida USA on 31 July

Around Our Club

A lovely photo of Roger and Shirley Palmer at the Bowls WA Awards Night

Clare Walsh and Denis Croker at the Clubs WA Awards evening supporting Ian Lucas (See separate article)

Our Mahjong ladies from left to right: Pat Lane, Elizabeth Guilbert, Sandra Edwards,Pauline Jamieson, Sylvia Takiari, Rene Bennett, Robyn Agnello, Claire Parry, Gwen Browning and Elaine Todman

Our Bowls Coaches – Dave Dunstan, Bruce Eagles, Tracey Newman and Gary Bobridge

should not happen and the person complaining should volunteer to go home!

Did you know that Colin Campbell has been cleaning the Club’s windows since 2016 when he took over from Brian Lucas? In the past Colin has been Assistant Treasurer as well as being on the Selection Committee. We are indeed lucky to have members like Colin and Brian.

Did you know that Chris Lander, Greg Taylor and Pauline Bourne represented Bowls WA in the State Senior Teams that competed at the National Championships at the Broad Beach Bowling Club on the Gold Coast in October. WA's Men's came fifth and the WA's Women's team came fourth.

Did you hear that when the guy who invented "fairy bread" died "hundreds and thousands" attended his funeral? Thanks to Spider Webb for this useful information.

Did you know that according to one expert lawn "bowling balls" are biased, which means they are asymmetrical in shape? According to this person the game is incredibly difficult as the ball has an uneven side and goes on a curving path. Apparently placing the ball as close to the jack, as possible, is the main goal in the game!

Did you know that two of the most beloved stars of the 60s, namely Shirley Maclaine and Warren Beatty are brother and sister? Until recently, this was a well-kept secret. But, like most secrets it got out. And, thanks to Shelley Jeffs there will be no secrets within the Sorrento Bowling Club community.

Members in Action

Congratulations to Charmain Harris who won the "Queen of Scroungers" event at the Joondalup Bowling Club

Keith Wells "bronzed" after holidaying in Coral Bay enjoying a drink Dave Dunstan on top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge

Five of our top bowlers were selected for a Men's Over 60s team to play against the Men's State Over 60s side L-R: David Anderson (North Beach), Mick Sweeney (North Beach), Peter Auguston (North Beach), Andy Elmar (Sorrento), Ian Lilburne (Osborne Park), Ross Cunningham (Sorrento), Peter Flack (Sorrento), Bruce Eagles (Sorrento), Paul Knight (Sorrento), Leo Mola (North Beach), Alex Gryta (Dalkeith/Nedlands) and Neil Bolton (Cambridge).

Shelly informs us that:

• Ron Roger’s daughter Leah is married to Barry Bradshaw’s grandson Hayden

• Bob and Shelley Jeffs’ daughter, Shannon is married to Phil Bilich’s son and Bobs’ brother Barry is married to Larraine Brickell’s sister Coral

• Evan Cosh's daughter Melissa is married to Jim Portwood’s son Ben

• Wayne Gray’s wife, Shelley, is Wayne Raffaele’s sister

• Joe Mola’s daughter Angie is married to Kerry Hutchinson’s son Paul, and they share two beautiful teenage grandchildren.

We have tried to establish a link between Cheryl Greig and Dan Greig but have been unsuccessful. Warren Elliot and Brian Kiely are brothers – nah, just made that up. That would be the height of madness but still at Sorrento we certainly do stick together.

Did you hear that Trish and Ross Cunningham`s niece Amanda (pictured on the left) won back to back gold medals at the 2022 Commonwealth Games? Along with Joelle King they defended their squash doubles crown. Amanda has a link to Sorrento as she has rolled up on our greens whilst on holidays. And yes, she did inherit her ability from her aunty Trish!

Results of the "Guess Who" in the Sept 2022 Edition?

Unfortunately nobody guessed the names which were:

Number 1 Paul Knight Number 2 Paul Doherty

Number 3 Evan Cosh Number 4 Denis Croker

More Members in Action

Sorrento did well in the winter bowls at Stirling by ousting Doubleview to take third place. Pictured are Bob and Shelley Jeffs with Egon Mikolajczyk, Murray Hulbert, Stan and Robyn van Mosseveld, Pauline Bourne and Kerry and Ron Hutchinson.

Wendy Flack and Bruce Eagles were runners up in the Annual Divorced Pairs

36 teams entered Sorrento's two day 2022 Masters Mixed Fours. Bruce Eagles, Murray Hulbert, Kerry Hutchinson, Coral Smith team (the defending champions) unfortunately lost in the final to a strong team skippered by Cody Packer

In September Pauline Bourne, Kerry Hutchinson, Coral Smith, Wendy Flack, Tracey Newman and Lee Leach played at Gosnells in the two day Kookaburra Classic playing in three separate teams. Pauline and her composite team took out first place. Well done!

Some members identified 2,3 and 4 but no one recognised Paul Knight at number 1! When we told him this he was surprised that none of our lady members had recognised him with his shirt off!

Contact details

If you would like to contribute something to our news magazine, please contact us on 9309 3108 or at nevodell@bigpond.net.au – From the two octogenarians

Our President’s Report

Greetings

Iwould like to take this opportunity to wish all our members a happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year. We are now over the Covid pandemic and our Club is back to normal. I would also like to welcome all our new members some from other clubs in the area. The word must be getting around that Sorrento is a great club.

Our Synthetic Green Update

Fortunately, the Department of Sport and the City of Joondalup have now agreed that the project be relocated to A green, thus reducing the scope of works and project cost and the project is now once again in progress. We look forward to a successful project completion. Some members are still a bit sceptical about the benefits to our Club from this investment. Paul Knight commented in our last edition of the Magazine that five of the ten premier league clubs now have only synthetic surfaces and North Beach primarily use only their synthetics. Paul emphasised the importance of Sorrento bowlers practising on a similar surface in preparation for away games.

Other advantages for having a synthetic:

• Being able to play 24/7 and for 365 days a year therefore providing the opportunity for the green to be used for community events and other revenue generating activities throughout the year

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Allowing members and visitors to play at night on a faster green and under floodlights, thus increasing participation and bar profits

• Allowing members and visitors to play during winter when our grass greens are wet or closed for maintenance and the capability to restart play after rain without damaging the green

• Remaining a more consistent surface performance throughout the game, as artificial surfaces are not as affected by the weather as are grass greens and hold their speed when grass greens are slow.

Vacancies on the Governing Council

As I write this report the positions of Office Manager and Treasurer are still vacant. These positions are essential to the continuing success of our Club. These positions are currently being shared by the three current members of the Governing Council and are increasing the load on them. Regardless of your membership category: full, recreational, or social, if you have the skills required for either position, I urge you to put your hand up and contact me on 0413 613 369 and enquire as to what time commitment and other skills are required as soon as you can.

– Barry Bradshaw

Men's Captain's Report

It looks like the 2022/23 season is shaping up to be a good one for our men bowlers and we welcome all our new members.

Sorrento have eight Thursday teams and seven Saturday teams this season, which is a credit to the Selectors and all their hard work

pre-season. Good luck to all our bowlers in both Pennants and upcoming Championship events.

Charmain Harris and myself have been working closely together and have introduced joint meetings with the Chairs of all committees, both men and women. This is working well with good communica tion between everyone. Minutes of these meetings will be shared with members through the weekly enewsletter in future. Wishing all our members a safe and happy Christmas break.

– Peter Flack

Women's Captain's Report

The new Pennant season is now upon us, so I would like to wish all the men and women bowlers, a great and rewarding season (*Veni, vidi, vici) and “Go Sorrento Go”. To all our social bowlers, I wish you an enjoyable summer season and hope to see you all on the green. Wishing you all a safe holiday season, with lots of laughter and good tidings with family and friends. Have a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New year.

– Charmain Harris

*Editor's Note: In case your Latin is a bit rusty please note that "Veni, vidi, vici" is a Latin phrase that translates to “I came, I saw, I conquered."

Match Committee Reports

Dash for Cash July 2022

A bleak weather forecast looked as though it might mean abandoning July’s event but the decision to go ahead was made on the preceding Thursday and organisers’ fingers were crossed. In the event, only a

couple of brief showers interrupted play and all four of the scheduled 10-end matches were played in cold and breezy conditions.

Dash for Cash was again generously sponsored by Safeway Security Screens and our thanks again go to Barry and Paul Bradshaw for their on-going support for these events. Thanks also to Wendy Saul and her band of soup makers and soup servers. The hot and hearty soups were certainly welcomed by the cold and hungry bowlers.

Of the 104 bowlers present, 48 were from other clubs, reflecting the wide (and growing) appeal of this event. Unfortunately for our Sorrento bowlers, the majority of the prize winners were visitors!

By the time the bowlers broke for lunch, only seven of the teams had won both matches, but by the end of the day the winners of all rounds had dwindled to three teams. These three took home the major part of the prize money. All the results:

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1st: Alan Bloxham, Marc Marinko, G. Jones, Ryan Moyle +44

• 2nd: Matt Sharrett, Gary Bayne, Barney Fleiser, Peter Flack +28

• 3rd: A. Monson, Geoff Watson, Mike Sweeney, Blake Nairn +22

• am: Phil Griffiths, B. Griffiths, Geoff White, Stewart Gosstray +25

• pm:David Eadie, Don McKenzie, David Bird, David Hitchman +14

• Rd1: Barry Stewart, Peter Snow, Shane Loftus, Rhett Butler +15

• Rd2: Phil Leyland, Wayne Mitchell, Andy Elmer, Brian Saul +13

• Rd3: Barry and Paul Bradshaw, Murray Hulbert, Bruce Eagles +7

• Rd4: P. Wilson, Trevor Hines, Laurie Johnson, Bert Straw +13

Thanks again to the Men’s Match Committee, especially Dan Greig, and to Trevor and Anne Orton for their assistance on the day.

Dash for Cash August 2022

The final event for 2022, again generously sponsored by SAFEWAY

Dash for Cash Winners

Winners July D4C: Alan Bloxham, Marc Marinko, G. Jones and Ryan Moyle

Winners August D4C: Gary Bobridge, Ray Loran, Dave Dunstan and Brian Ledingham

Runners up July D4C: Barney Fleiser, Peter Flack, Matt Sharrett and Gary Bayne

SECURITY SCREENS, was held under showery skies, and on s-l-o-w greens. A field of 32 teams assembled, which despite a couple of brief rainy interludes went off well and over $2,500 in prize money was awarded.

By lunch, nine teams had won both matches, and with a shower of rain affecting the afternoon matches, only one team managed to win all four matches, and that was Ray Loran, Brian Ledingham, Gary Bobridge and Dave Dunstan. Dave’s team was 31 shots up. Congratulations guys. Other winners were;

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2nd: Bob Steven, Greg Clement, Ross Cunningham and Chris Lander with 3 wins + 36

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3rd: Barry Stewart, Peter Snow, Ian Linford and Rhett Butler with 3 wins + 26

• 4th: Barry Bradshaw, Paul Bradshaw, Murray Hulbert and Bruce Eagles with 3 wins + 25

• AM: Paul Hunter, Barry Gartrell, Paul Loveland, Jeff West + 21

• PM: Phil Bilich, Mick McCavana, Lindsay Baker. Bob Mulroy +17

• Rd1: Matt Sharrett, Gary Bayne, Barney Fleiser, Peter Flack +10

• Rd2: Peter Balcombe, Tim Murray, Jim Spencer, Mick Martin +11

• Rd3: John Armanasco, Peter Leber, Jan Konig and Paul Burn +8

• Rd4: Steve Hurley, Richard Herbert, Steve Nanos, Laurie Scott +13

A total of 74 visitors were among the 128 bowlers who took part, and contrary to last month’s event, most of the winners this month came from Sorrento. A special thanks goes to Ray Stapledon who filled in at the last minute. As usual our enormous thanks again to Wendy Saul and her band of kitchen helpers who prepared morning tea, and soup for lunch which was very welcome for the chilly bowlers.

Divorced Pairs

Our first event of the season was held at the end of September with 64

players (up from last year). Round 1 got off in ideal conditions and our greens which were running to perfection. Everyone enjoyed the day, it was just perfect bowling weather and the warmest day for some time.

Congratulations to the overall winners –Chris Lander and Ruth Tolotti who were unbeatable over the two rounds. Runners up were Bruce Eagles and Wendy Flack. Morning winners were Peter Flack and Coral Smith and the afternoon winners were Murray Hulbert and Anne Sauerwein. A great day was enjoyed by all, ending with a sausage sizzle organised by Match and prepared by Keith Cooper.

Men’s Championships – 100-Up

In early October the knockout rounds were played on B green, with rinks running N-S for the first time this season and this provided a different perspective to things. Conditions were slightly slower than in recent weeks, but at least there was little wind to further complicate matters.

Quarter final winners were Ron Rogers over Jan Konig, Colin Jasper over Derek Boardman, Paul Knight over Gary Bayne, and Murray Hulbert over Spider Webb. The semi finals saw a couple of close matches, with Colin defeating Ron, and Murray getting home over Paul. The first half of the final was a more one sided affair with Colin Jasper playing a series of close draw bowls over seven ends to retain the jack and leap out to a lead of 60-20 and, while Murray nar

rowed the gap over the second part, Colin Jasper ran out a comfortable winner.

– Trevor Orton, Dan Greig and Shirley Palmer

Are you a Team Player?

Successful teams have a group of people who utilize their combined skills and experience to obtain a common goal, either on the green or off. The Sorrento Bowling Club has always endeavoured to provide some form of coaching and development pathways for our new and existing members. This is evident now in the training programs being run for new members and the more focused workshops for existing members to develop and improve their skills (this includes bowling skills, techniques, rules, etiquette etc). This training is usually supplemented by regular roll ups either singularly or in groups.

This training and development is essential if our Club is going to lift the overall standard of all bowling members and improve our results in Pennant competition. With this in mind, it’s worth mentioning that one area that often gets overlooked is the inter-club competitions that are played throughout the year i.e.:

• Twilight pairs

• 2-4-2 on Wednesday in summer

• Thursday drawn triples

• Saturday 2-4-2 in winter

• Friday and Sunday afternoon social games

• Sunday morning Scroungers

• Other non-championship one-off matches throughout the year.

These competitions are the ideal place for new and existing members to improve their skills and knowledge of the game, and are an opportunity for more experienced members to share their knowledge and

experience to improve and broaden the skills base of other members.

While at times we see some examples of members going out of their way to share their knowledge and encourage others to improve their skills, we also see some examples of a “win at all costs” mentality which does just the opposite in terms of member develop ment. While we are all competitive and like to win the game, it should not be at the expense of fellow member’s enjoyment of the game and development.

With that in mind, could all members please take this on board dur ing their coming games and look for opportunities to pass on their valuable knowledge of the game to other members where they see it might improve the overall standards of players. This does not have to be restricted to the players in your side on the day i.e. a considerately placed piece of advice to opposing members also will generally be accepted and appreciated. Let’s all see the bigger picture for the benefit of the club and an improved showing in our coming Pennant season.

– Brian Staples

Long-Serving Club Members

Groucho

Marx famously said, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member”. But this is certainly not the case for our long serving Club members. There are currently 66 members who have been members for more than 20 years!

We have: Neil and Sylvia Mclaughlan, Brian Collins, John Farmer, Dick Oates, Brian Lucas, John Murphy, Ian Wittber, Keith and Margaret Cooper, Roland Hill, Peter Robson, Murray Newman, Neville Gibbs, John Godfrey, Wayne Raffaele, Mike Carrigy, Richard Bone, Steve Draper, Alan Rolls, Dennis West, Frank and Beryl Tutt, Yvonne Watson, Colin Campbell, Graeme Whitehorn, Geoff Murray, Jimmy Welch, John Sanders, Fay Jennings, Squizzy Taylor, Alex Third, Monique Kopec, Rob Tozer, Stuart Wright, John Abercrombie, John Wallis, Moira Dean, Barbara Spence, Tom Nasuti, Trevor Orton, Philip Oldershaw, Annie Taylor, Clair Hanlon, Frank Lilley, Patricia Smith, Herbert and Helen Eisenmann, Caroline Russell-Browne, Wendy Stobie, Pat Dichiera, George Sjepcevich, Tony Sabatino, Keith Tompkins, Brenda Richardson, Jaikishan Dodia, John Collishaw, Ian and Liz Marshall, Ron Burroughs, Ken Giles, Ron Taylor, Graeme O'Brien, Pauline Bourne, Thomas Dowling and May Macliver.

My Spelling Checker Lets Me Down Again!

Have you had problems when the auto correct on your computer or phone gets it wrong – sometimes with embarrassing results?

For example:

Eye halve a spelling chequer

It came with my pea sea

It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a quay and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee four two long And eye can putt the error rite Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye half run this poem threw it Eye am shore your pleased two no Its let her perfect in it's weigh My chequer tolled me sew.

A Long Swim by Gum

Brian (Gilligan) Collins didn’t realise that kayaks are not designed to be fitted with outboard motors and adapted for fishing until he embarked on an ill fated fishing trip off Exmouth this July. Realisation dawned one and a half kilometres out from Learmonth when his modified vessel capsized spilling Brian and the kayak’s contents (including his rods and fish) into the Indian Ocean.

But Brian was more dismayed to say the least when he realised that his newly fitted false teeth and sunglasses were making their way down to Neptune’s cellar. Coupled with this dilemma was finding himself as flotsam floating in the open sea with the shore a very long way into the distance.

As testimony to this 78 year old’s strength and determination he started his long swim to shore with his capsized, waterlogged craft in tow. Just to add some thrill to the occasion, Brian left his bait belt attached to his hip just in case a passing white pointer was looking for a fight not that Brian could have bitten back.

Well to cut a long swim short, he made it and what a great feat of endurance that was. Back on shore Brian tried in vain to enlist the help of volunteers to help find his missing teeth and sunglasses. Alas, nobody, by gum, could understand a word he was saying and even if they had it was doubtful that anyone would be adventurous enough to go out a kilometre and a half to duck dive in the forlorn hope of finding fang and lens – not even the skipper of Mary Ann.

Everyone on shore had a great laugh, well almost everyone. Brian, having learned a valuable lesson and at the insistence of wife Jean immediately sold the offending craft. If his adventure had been caught on camera it would have been badged as the 2022 remake of “The Old Man and the Sea” with Brian indentured (no pun intended) to replace Spencer Tracy.

But seriously for you fishers out there, put these coordinates into your boat’s dental plan (21ᴼ57”11” S and 114ᴼ09”11” E). You’ll have a great chance to pick up at least one snapper. And apparently the gummy sharks are schooling. Well done Brian and thanks for the entertainment. – Thanks to Brian Lucas for recording this historical event

Letters to the Editor

A Huge Shout Out

I would like to say a big thank you to our Green Keepers, Alan and John McFayden, for all their efforts to keep our greens in such great shape for the winter months and no doubt the coming Pennant season. It is greatly appreciated by Sorrento members.

Your Editors agree. This winter the greens have been great even after rain. It’s important to remember that unlike most clubs, Sorrento’s greens are in use on most days of the week, all year round.

Green Speeds

As a new member I'm a bit confused about green speeds. The other day someone told me the green had sped up from 13 to 14 seconds. If I don't adjust my weight how much further will my bowl travel?

Editors' response:

Green speed is determined by measuring how many seconds a bowl takes to travel 27 metres. Remember the quicker the green the slower you must roll your bowl. If you keep the same weight your bowl will travel a further 2 metres when the green speeds up from 13 to 14 seconds. Conversely a change from 13 to 12 seconds will see you 2 metres short with potentially a grumpy Skip who will refer to “The Great Wall of China” especially when he hits your short bowl! Someone was complaining about a green at Warnboro that was run ning at 27 seconds but the experts tell me that this is impossible! The above image may help with your calculations.

Our Annual Cancer Day

In September 38 bowlers played in our Cancer Day. With donations from players and no prize money on the day, we raised $328. Winners were Terry Parker, Jennifer Page and Colin Scott and runners up were Monique Kopec, Janet Johnston, Jim Woodward and Alex Third – Barbara Spence

Another First for Sorrento!

For a long time now lost property boxes have mostly contained items such as hats, rain coats, jumpers and umbrellas. So, when this item of intimate apparel appeared in Sorrento’s lost property box, tongue’s started wagging. Perhaps it had something to do with last summer producing some extremely hot weather, or maybe a sedate game of Bridge degenerated into a game of strip jack naked. Some members may have been offended by the appearance of the item. Others may have got their knickers in a knot over what they saw. But at the end of the day, it probably all came down to another classic case of a storm in a D cup.

–Jim Woodward

Clubs WA's "Long Term Service Award"

When Ian Lucas assumed the role of bar manager at Sorrento over eight years ago, following the resignation of Paul Denis, our Club was quite a different place. While still a very large and active Club, it was facing several emerging challenges such as:

• The need to raise bar profits to help support the cost of other activities such as lawn bowls and croquet

• Replacing the failing point of sale system

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•

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Funding maintenance and infrastructure development

Better coordination of hall bookings and entertainment

Better managing a range of contracts ranging from liquor rebates through to refuse disposal

• Improving technologies ranging from photocopiers through to

telecommunications and audio visual aids and, of course, the everincreasing compliance requirements.

Ian’s on the ground experience in working in this environment was at the time restricted to his time as a casual bar tender at the Club. So he was on a steep learning curve and many of the Club’s challenges were technically outside of the scope of a bar manager’s duties.

Five years on and Ian can feel justifiably proud of his achievements and the support that he has provided our Club. So much so that Club members Denis Croker and Tony Friedlieb felt it warranted nominating Ian for the Club’s WA Long Term Service Award. This award recognises a club employee who has consistently demonstrated excellence and commitment. Candidates must have been working for their club for over five years and gone above and beyond their expected duties to further the success of their club.

The nomination to Clubs WA highlighted Ian’s achievements:

 The installation of a modern cloud based point of sale system by BEPOZ in 2019. BEPOZ is a complex and comprehensive system that requires individual customisation to meet the Club’s particular requirements. Initial setup required design and configuration, data transfer and conducting training for staff and volunteers.

 Responding to and supporting the Governing Council in dealing with the many issues resulting from Covid.This was a particularly testing and stressful time for all involved and Ian stuck steadfastly to supporting the Club through this difficult time.

 Managing bar inventory and reconciliations. In the past the Club faced ongoing discrepancies in reconciling its tills, partly due to the systems and technologies in place but also the

lack of knowledge and training of bar personnel. Under Ian’s stewardship, and despite gross sales of $35,000 in some weeks, cash and EFT reconciliations are now spot on.

 While not directly one of Ian’s responsibilities, he has been instrumental in generating amazing growth in the Club’s membership and the number and variety of functions held, through his innovation and use of technology and communications channels like Facebook.

 Assisting the Club to manage its contracts which has included negotiating one of the most lucrative volume rebates with Carlton United Breweries and discounts of a range of bar products.

 Ian actively and enthusiastically supports our volunteers in a wide range of activities that go well beyond his job description. Through his efforts and innovation Ian’s role has become more of a club manager than a bar manager.

 Developing and supporting a highly committed, dedicated and skilful team behind the bar.

In September Denis Croker and Clare Walsh, together with Glenn and Trish McCarthy joined Ian and Chloe Lucas to represent Sorrento at the Clubs WA 2022 Industry Awards for Excellence “Night of Nights”. Ian was up against eight other Club nominations for the award with some nominees having many, many years of service to their clubs.

Unfortunately, Ian was unsuccessful on this occasion but that in no way diminishes his great contribution to Sorrento nor the appreciation of Sorrento for his dedication and commitment. We are indeed lucky to have someone like Ian in our Club.

– Thanks to all the members who contributed to this article

Phenomenal Two Letter Word

Inever knew one word in English language that can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and a preposition. This two letter word in English has more meanings than any other two letter word, and that word is UP.' It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election (if there is a tie, it is a toss UP) and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car. At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appe tite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. And you will find UP has about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with (UP to) a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for a while, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap UP for now. My time is UP!

– Ian Thompson McCarthys Prove

"Some Things are Meant to Be"

From the moment Glenn and Trish McCarthy decided to buy a house in Perth online, they were on a collision course with the Sorrento Bowling Club. From their home of many years, in the Sydney suburb of Cabramatta, 3900 kilometres from the WA capital, Glenn and Trish decided a quick move west was the thing to do after their older daughter presented them with a granddaughter.

Keen to get started on their life changing move, Glenn and Trish saw a house for sale online, in Chessell Drive Duncraig, which ticked a few boxes, including location. They wasted no time in clinching the deal and were soon on their way after Glenn, a qualified fitter, machinist and tool maker, quit his then current position of 27 years with Worksafe and Trish relinquished her position as a TAFE teacher.

Looking in the Perth Street directory, there was a sea of green to the west of their new property which included the Percy Doyle Reserve fields, and bowling and tennis clubs. Glenn says he will never forget the day he and Trish moved into their Perth house (Monday, 16 November 2015). He said the first thing he and Trish did after walking through the

front door was make the bed and the second thing was walk across the road to the nearby “watering hole”. That place just happened to be the Sorrento Bowling Club and the warmth they encountered on entering was spontaneous, with Glenn saying Tiger Hogan and Selfie were the ones he still remembers as being most welcoming.

Up until then the only bowling Glenn had done was sometimes taking part in a monthly game of corporate bowls at Cabramatta. But now, seven years later, Trish and Glenn, who met in a pub on Glenn’s 18th birthday, had started their journey with Sorrento. And what a journey it’s been with the pair now filling incredibly important roles at our Club. Glenn is the new Vice-President (Operations) and Trish has thankfully taken over the job as Functions Co-ordinator from Tony Friedlieb.

Under Glenn’s umbrella are the green keepers, bar staff, cleaning contractors and the delicate task of dealing with Joondalup Council as well as the responsibility of maintaining our sheds, shade frames and just about everything that lies within our boundaries.

While, Glenn who had to overcome bowel cancer along the way, is now a valuable Pennant bowler, Trish is a recreational member but has a very solid sporting background. Back in Sydney her father, Gordon Cansdell was made Balmain cricket captain at the age of 18 and at one stage the legendary Richie Benaud said he was the best opening batsman he ever came across in the Sydney grade competition. Trish’s job is integral with keeping people attending a variety of functions and the resultant money flowing into the club. And on top of all that Glenn and Trish play a huge role in organising the Sunday season of scroungers, for which Judy Campbell has generously provided food.

Glenn and Trish are an amazing double act and its little wonder our new President Barry Bradshaw singled out Glenn and Trevor Orton,

Vice-President (Sport & Participation), for special mention during his speech to those in attendance at Opening Day in September.

It’s not often all the planets line up but they certainly did the day Glenn and Trish made the cosmic decision to roll up into Perth and make Duncraig their new post code.

– Jim Woodward

How To Write "Good"!

• Avoid alliteration – always

•

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with

• Avoid clichés like the plague – they’re old hat

• Eschew ampersands & abbreviations etc.

• Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary

•

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive

• Foreign words and phrases are not apropos

• One should never generalise

• Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know”

• Comparisons are as bad as clichés

• Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous

• Be more or less specific

• Understatement is always best

• One-word sentences? Eliminate

• Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake

• The passive voice is to be avoided

• Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed

• Who needs rhetorical questions?

•

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

– Jan Paniperis

Numbers No Problem for Tireless Tony

From the very first job he ever held, right up until he relinquished his position as our Club’s Functions Coordinator, Tony Friedlieb proved himself to be a numbers man. And it comes as no surprise that a bloke, who spent so much of his time along the way looking down, became a man so many people looked up to. Sorrento was one of the beneficiaries of his numerical expertise and thoroughness as were the Commonwealth Bank, a Financial Planning Group and the Claremont Football Club.

Born in NSW, Tony started off in the bank and did postings in country towns including Albury, Wagga, Leeton and Kiama before transferring to Perth with his wife, Jan, and four kids aged under four (including boy and girl twins). In 1977 he took up a position in the bank’s computer section. At first Tony and his family lived in Victoria Park but they later moved to Duncraig where the late John Forkin introduced Tony to bowls. When offered a package in 1993 and, after completing a course, he joined a financial planning group where he stayed until 2005.

Work commitments had restricted his bowling ambitions but he returned to our Club full time on retiring. After Ian Wittber put out feelers for someone to fill a “clerical” position in 2016, Tony responded and landed the job of our Functions Coordinator.

For six valuable years Tony worked tirelessly to generate an enormous amount of revenue for our Club by organising more than a thousand functions, for birthday celebrations, hens and bucks parties, bare foot

bowls and wakes. Over the years the resultant bar trade has made a substantial contribution to our Club's income, as groups regularly book and rebook the clubhouse, greens and alfresco areas. On top of that Tony, with his vast experience, had to arrange fee payments and bond refunds as well as deal with cancellations and date changes.

But Tony is quick to point out that his task would have been impossible without the help of a handful of other dedicated participants. Bar Manager Ian Lucas and then Office Manager Pauline Marsden, Ken Giles and Ron Taylor, who looked after the bowling side of things plus the unwavering support of greenkeeper Alan McFayden all ensured a smooth operation.

Ian Lucas said it was an “absolute pleasure” to have worked with Tony. “I was continuously impressed by the organisational skills that Tony brought to the table and his unwavering dedication to the role,” Tony’s sharp skills, including his exemplary communication ensured he always exceeded customer and club expectations. Many customers conveyed what a pleasure it was to deal with him".

“Tony has always been engaging and easy to get along with and fos tered many positive relationships which led to many repeat function bookings, referrals and many new club memberships. I thank Tony for his hard work and dedication that made the complex task of book ing functions a very manageable process. His services will be sadly missed but he can be very proud of the contribution he has made to the Sorrento Bowling Club.”

But away from bowls, not everyone would be aware of Tony’s passion for, and involvement with, the Claremont Football Club. Not that Tony is able to sit in a stand and madly cheer on the Tigers. His involvement runs a lot deeper and, just like his days at the bank and financial

planning group, he mostly has his head down, concentrating deeply during all the games he attends. Tony is part of a three man team which records a mountain of vital statistics during games for the benefit of the Claremont coaching staff. Two members of the trio frantically scribble down what the third member is shouting out as every play of the game develops. Tony says he’s been doing the job since 1999 but admits the other two blokes have been at it for 40 years.

Tony’s attention to detail has always been of the highest quality and the Club has certainly reaped the benefit of that expertise.

– Jim Woodward

Darts Report

The summer darts this season proved highly successful for the Club’s B Grade side Sorrento Red played in the Bowling Club league competition and headed the ladder for the eighteen games played and easily won the 2021/22 grand final six games to one against their Ambassador opponents based at Bassendean Bowling Club. Davindra Chauda excelled on the night taking out three of the six pegs. He finished the season with the top average of 53 and most pegs at 30.

Congratulations to Wayne Raffaele with the highest peg of the season.

It was a good year in this league all round with three Sorrento players finishing in the semi finals of the Association B Grade singles. Davinda eventually beating Brian Lucas in the final with Gordon Penny un lucky to have been beaten in the semis. Gordon followed up, however, teaming with Jayson Higgins to win the Association’s Open Doubles.

With five games remaining in the Blue Water Darts league, Sorrento’s

White B1 Grade side is homing in on the top four, currently sitting in fifth spot. Marty Daly is having a great year averaging among the top five players of the Association. Sorrento’s other side is Sorrento B2 who are also having a good season.

– Brian Lucas

Croquet Report

Tournaments and Competitions

In August, Jan Craddock, this year’s Club Champion, did exceptionally well in Croquetwest “Champion of Champions” tournament and is very proud of her fantastic effort! Continuing the achievements of the “Crack shot Craddocks”, we are proud to report that they entered the “B” Grade Doubles competition in Mandurah in September and beat 8 of the 12 pairs! Making this achievement even more notable is the fact that Jan (a “B” Grade player) was very unwell on the day and had to be “carried” by Terry (a “C” Grade player).

Annual Presentation Day

In July, 30 of our members enjoyed our Trophy Presentation lunch. The day started with a “fun” game where players had no more than 10 seconds between shots. Failure to comply meant a loss of turn. Each member drew numbers for partners but kept their individual game points. The overall winner of the event was Margaret Windle, who won the magnificent prize of a small box of chocolates! Trophies and prizes were awarded as follows:

• Golf Singles: Jan Craddock with Kerry Bomford runner up

• Golf Doubles: Jan and Terry Craddock with Lorraine Bates and Sandy Boon runners up

• Novice Star: Wendy Price; with Margaret Windle runner up.

• Club Champion of the Year: Jan Craddock

• Netherclift Trophy: Shared by Micy Lewis and Steve West. (Most

improved players with less than 18 months playing experience)

Coaching Clinic

In August, Martin Clarke, the State Squad Coach, gave 17 members the benefit of his knowledge and experience of Golf Croquet. Of greatest value was his explanation of tactics to give players the best chances of winning hoops. He also covered a number of the new rules of the game and demonstrated stroke play too.

Coaching Presentation

In September newly qualified "Coaching Presenter", Di McGivern, conducted her first solo Coaching Course for seven experienced GC players from around Perth, who wanted to become coaches. The course went off smoothly with all candidates being assessed as competent coaches, despite the rain keeping us off the greens. However, this was eventually held on the grassed area near the big shed and BBQ area, Thanks to Alan and John McFayden for keeping all our lawns in great condition.

National Coaching Conference

In September the Australian Coaching Academy held its biannual Conference in Adelaide. This was attended by the State Coaching Coordinator from of each State. The aim was to learn from, and con-

• Braybrook Trophy: Kerry Bomford (Member of the Year).

tribute to, coaching initiatives in the education, training and assessment of coaches and referees in the four codes of croquet played in Australia. I was invited to attend as the WA representative and found the experience to be invaluable

Visitors

We have joined forces with Como to play Ricochet Croquet every Friday alternating between Sorrento and Como. This “Club Combo” is becoming more popular with a number of players who may not have been prepared to “give it a go”. We are hoping to work with clubs in Dunsborough and Mandurah to develop enough players to hold ricochet competitions in the near future. We welcomed the return of two “regular” visitors from New Zealand. They were last here prior to Covid and plan to return annually.

Members

We were delighted to see a number of long-time members back after time away due to personal circumstances. We wish all those members who are currently unable to attend a speedy recovery back to full health and look forward to welcoming them soon. Finally a happy Christmas and a great 2023.

– Diana McGivern

Tribute to Eric Tompkins: 1933-2022

Asmourners at Eric's’ funeral watched a photo tribute on the big screen of his life’s journey, Shirley Bassey appropriately belted out “This is my Life.” And what an amazing life it was for this gentle and cherished man. Eric was born in the UK and at the age of four was running around in the playground of a kindergarten with a little girl named Hilda. Twelve years later Eric and Hilda bumped into other again at a Christmas Party and in 1955 the childhood sweethearts were married.

After sons Martyn and Keith arrived Eric and Hilda decided a better life could be had in Australia so they emigrated. They have always loved travelling and they visited Asia, New Zealand and the South Pacific. Eric bought a caravan and they travelled around Australia, meeting some wonderful like-minded people along the way.

Eric learnt how to play the piano and took up oil and water colour painting. He always excelled at sport, especially cricket. He started playing bowls at Joondalup, then moved to Quinns and in 2009 joined our Club. He was always a delight on the bowling green and will be missed by all his friends.

Unfortunately, Eric’s health began to deteriorate during the last 12 months and catching Covid put even more strain on his already damaged lungs. Eric touched the lives of so many people and, sadly, he passed away on 20 September.

– Jim Woodward

Opening Day

OnSunday 18 September, our Opening Day was held, and around 80 members attended for the customary welcome, lunch and bowls. Before Opening Day proceedings got under way, a presentation was made to Dan Nicholls, the 2021-22 Men’s Bowler of the Year, as he had not been presented previously.

Welcome words were delivered by our President, Barry Bradshaw and by Deputy Mayor, Councillor Christine Hamilton-Prime (deputising for our patron, the Mayor Albert Jacob who was unable to attend).

The weather was fine and sunny and the Deputy Mayor, the President and Councillor Russell Fishwick delivered the ceremonial “first bowl” of the season and struck the first croquet ball. Lunch was then served, and was much appreciated. Thanks to WA Spit Roast for their food and staff.

Sixty four bowlers then took to the greens in the annual Des Bennett Memorial Trophy, contested by mixed teams skippered by women and by men. The men emerged victorious by 147 (5½ Wins) shots to 133 (2½ Wins). The best performed men’s team was the team of Di Cox, Larry Perry, Kerry Hutchinson and Peter Flack and the best performed women’s team was Ron Taylor, Tracey Newman, Ron Hutchinson and Lee Leach.

The raffle was drawn with the major prize of a set of bowls won by Warren Smith, a social member of our Club. Thanks to Charmain Harris, Shona Carter and Peter Flack for their assistance in putting the day together, and to the small army of assistants from both croquet and bowls that helped on the day.

– Trevor Orton

Some Photos from Opening Day

The Bowler’s Prayer (Based on Psalm 23)

Bowling‘s my pleasure: I shall not want. It maketh me to walk down green pastures, And leadeth me to compete in competitions. It restoreth my gamesmanship

And leads me in the path of David Bryant for the game’s sake. Yea, though I bowl in the wind and rain, I will fear no evil. For my Skip is with me. My measure and chalk, they comfort me. Thou preparest a rink for me In the presence of mine opponents. I anointest my bowls with Grippo And my bowls runneth true Surely good wicks and lucky shots

Shall follow me all the days of my life And I shall dwell on my bowling green forever.

– Carol A. Harradine from Yes, I’m in Love with Lawn Bowling by On-Kow Tow

Why Do Volunteers Volunteer?

Agood

question and one that I am sure is pondered by most people who conscientiously chose not to volunteer. I guess a cynic might say that people volunteer because they are masochists who enjoy the pain of derision and the criticism that goes with volunteering. On the other hand, some may think that volunteers derive pleasure out of be lieving that they are making a meaningful contribution to society.

The majority I would suggest simply haven’t thought about it. They live or have lived busy lives with work and family and other interests and really haven’t been involved or come into contact with volunteering. That would quickly change, of course, if they were distressed at sea and required the assistance of the volunteer sea rescue or caught in a dangerous fire situation and seek the assistance of volunteer fire fighters. If you Google this question, you will get over 2.4 million “hits”. Many answers suggest that volunteers gain a sense of accomplishment and a knowledge and understanding of other ways of life – a sense of fulfilment.

They suggest that volunteering provides a sense of purpose that helps you become a happier person whilst boosting your self-esteem. There are also health benefits from helping others. According to Google volunteering reduces depression, increases life satisfaction and well being. Another study found that 200 hours of volunteering per year will lower your blood pressure. As a point of interest we decided to ask some of our members why they volunteer around our Club. These are some of the responses we received:

I volunteer to assist our Club to continue to grow and prosper whilst enjoying the camaraderie with good friends, I want our Club to continue to grow and to be a place for others to enjoy. Some of my challenging

roles at Sorrento have made me a better person and member. We will only proposer and grow, if members put back at least as much as they have received. Volunteering is not a chore I enjoy the participation.

– Ian Wittber

Being part of the volunteering team at Sorrento has helped me to contribute something back to my Club whilst forming friendships with the other volunteers. Gardening has always been of interest and I’m enjoying helping with our Club Garden.

– Gerald Hanna

I have always considered volunteering to be equal to commitment and that commitment is equal to involvement. This leads to belonging which leads to new friendships. New friends equal happiness. Everyone wants to be happy, so simply volunteer to achieve your goal!

– Di McGivern

As a member for 20 years, I have seen and benefited from the contri butions made by volunteers around our Club and consider it appropriate to put some of my own time and effort into helping the Club function effectively. I have always considered it important to make some contribution to the community and in my own small way this is one way I can do it.

– Brian Staples

Both of us volunteer to be involved, to help our Club to function, to get to know people and lastly a sense of commitment. We look at it as if we weren’t volunteering at SBC then we would be volunteering somewhere else. Both being retired we have the time.

– Roger and Shirley Palmer.

Being a volunteer for 20 years and working together with the other volunteer’s has been a very rewarding experience. I would

recommend all members to give it a try in whatever capacity they can. When retiring I wanted a part time interest that kept me active and utilised my skill sets. I originally joined the Darts committee then the Executive/ Governing Council. There is a sense of achievement from being a part of a group of committed members, all working together successfully to make our Club the best it can be.

– Wayne Gray

When I was ten my mother encouraged me to volunteer at an Old Age Home and to cheer up the elderly. So maybe that is why I’m compassionate about helping people in need. Volunteering has given me a sense of purpose and has made me a happier person. Meeting different people has helped me to gain knowledge and understanding of other ways of life whist boosting my self esteem. Learning new skills and seeing the rewards is why I will keep on volunteering at our Club.

– Charmain Harris

Amateur sporting and other community clubs will not survive without volunteers to help maintain and manage the facilities, and to provide officials to run all levels of competitions. Yes, it can be demanding, and take up a fair bit of time that could have been spent on other activities, but it is rewarding. Volunteering helps me get to know members, their various interests, experiences and quirks, which adds interest to the bowls experience.

– Dan Greig

Volunteering, as a bowls coach, enables me to help others that love the sport. Coaching provides an opportunity to help others overcome issues with their bowling and help them gain a better understanding of the technical side. This is very satisfying. It also gives me a better understanding of the people around me. Watching people grow into better players with their confidence growing is why I love to volunteer. This is better than just sitting back.

– Gary Bobridge

Volunteering makes me feel like the soldier standing in line when the Sergeant asks for volunteers to clean the latrines and I am expected to take one step forward. Unfortunately, all the other soldiers in the line take one step back leaving me out in front as the “Volunteer”. Joking aside, my attitude to volunteering is that if you join a club run by volunteers you have an obligation to share in the workload. I also enjoy the numerous challenges that arise as a volunteer umpire.

– Anonymous

I've volunteered all my life in a variety of positions and in different ways. Living in small country towns, everyone helped out in the com munity so it was nothing to be involved in four or five different groups at a time. Meals on wheels, hospital auxiliaries and not-for-profit charities made me feel good about myself for helping others. Sporting clubs, local papers and school committees allowed me to put my love of project management into action. And now at the Club, I love to teach others the skills I've learnt and see their confidence grow. I strongly believe that if we all do a little, then the few don't have to do it all!

–Wendy Flack

These are wonderful sentiments from some of our committed vol unteers. I guess that the message here is clear. While we all pay our membership fee to the Club, we need to do more. If everyone paid their fees and sat back, the cost of running a club like Sorrento would soar as paid people assumed the essential roles. Fees would become unsustainable and eventually the Club would become unsustainable.

Sharing the load is important. So if you currently do not volunteer, how about giving it a shot. It’s win-win for you and your Club.

– Thanks to all of the above for their help in compiling this article

Rude, Lewd, Crude and Nude

Now you might be able to help me out here! As surely many of our more informed members will be aware, controversy, has reigned since 720 BC, about whether it was the Greek runner Orsippus or his rival Acanthus who was the first Olympiad to run a foot race nude. Rumour has it that Orsippus lost his loincloth during his 185-metre run in the 15th Olympic Games and being too knackered to retrace his steps continued on and won the race. He was accredited as “the first of all Greeks to be crowned “Victor Naked”. Acanthus claimed that he got the short end of the stick but decided to let the matter rest.

But I digress. While this controversy may well have fired a passion that saw nude athletic competition become all the rage in Greece at that time, it has not caught on in modern times, apart from the informal crutch and grab games played in numerous nudist colonies around the world. Could this be the competitive edge that our sport of lawn bowls is looking for? Innovative and thought provoking certainly. Will it increase (or decrease) participation in the future? Shelley Jeffs reckons that this sight for sore eyes will cause e a mass exodus of men! Brian Lucas thinks more people "will embrace the game".

Recently the cartoon above appeared on Facebook. It seems that some clubs are going for a compromise and prefer some clothing!

However, as you can see, from the cartoon above, semi nude bowls is far from a novel idea and has been tried before. This cartoon was published in the West Australian newspaper, to illustrate an article by Bevan Eakins. For $20, copyright approval was received to use this cartoon as part of this article. Please don’t take offence or complain! If it was good enough for the West Australian it's good enough for Sorrento! Please note that hats are being worn so at least their heads won’t get sunburnt!

Unlike many other sports where clothing plays an essential role in modern sport performance, through for example better shoe grip to add a spring to a runner’s step or swimming costumes that help swimmers easily slide effortlessly through the water, this cannot be said for lawn bowls or other ball games like bocce, billiards, squash and water polo. Competing in the nude of course can create awkward logistical issues for lawn bowlers, For example

•

How to protect your feet? On some synthetic greens bowlers’ shoes have melted and as a consequence, the bowlers pictured alongside have sensibly kept their shoes on

• What to do when it's cold?

• What to do when you get awkward comments, questions, and stares from the fully clothed opposition?

• Where to put your score card, measure and chalk during a game? Ken Giles recommends that you could put your pencil behind your ear!

• How to avoid sun burn?

• What to wear in the clubhouse after the game?

And don’t think for a minute that this sort of behaviour doesn’t happen at Sorrento. A couple of seasons ago, Skipper Pauline Bourne, her Lead Coral Smith, Second Robyn Woodward and Third Lee Leach needed two on the last end to win our Club’s Championship Fours competition. Lee managed to get her first bowl and then her second almost right on the kitty.

The job was almost done. Opposition Skipper Moira Dean’s first bowl was well off course. Her second, and the game’s last bowl, was much wider than where she intended it to be. But lurking out wide, almost on the out of bounds line, was a bowl which could best be described as “errant”.

Of course, Moira managed to clip it and wicked sideways straight onto the kitty. Never backwards in coming forward, Moira turned around and bared her backside to the audience –the message clearly being that it was an “arsy” shot. The championship suddenly belonged to her team and their names are etched in history

There is movement at our Club, for the word has got around That a rule about our uniforms is to be put to the test! “Oh, dearie me!” some bowlers declared, “Whatever now?" I wish we didn’t wear a thing then the matter can be put to rest!”

In ancient days when no-one was a prude, Nudity was a fact of life, it wasn’t particularly rude, Modesty didn’t count even if in the nick you were caught! They wore a single loin cloth and that was practically naught!

A lady at our Club, who in her elation, Lost HER loin cloth for a standing ovation! Victor Naked, like Oripuss she turned, And pulled down her Dacks for applause well earned!

So wouldn’t it be fun to feel the breeze When on the bowling green, to play naked with ease? No more jackets that hinder bowls you send, No more underpants to creep as you bend?

Like Orsippus – who, in mid-race, Lost his Loin cloth and still kept his pace, And found himself at the finish line, completely in the nickWe too could be “Victor Naked”, if we give clothes the flick!

– Lesley Hughes

"Victor Naked”

on our Club’s honour board. So, who will be the first to raise their cup and celebrate our proposed new freedoms?

– Neville Odell

The Missing Dollar

Three men get to an old pub and asked the barman how much for a room for the night. He said $10 each which equals $30. Afterwards the barman was talking to the manager and he said they can have the room for $25.

The barman thought how can I divide three into $5 then he thought I'll give them back a dollar each and I'll keep $2. This means the men paid $9 each. Three multiplied by 9 equals $27 plus the $2 he kept equals $29. Where is the other dollar? If you really want to know or really care ask Spider Webb!

Biased and Bare

Have you ever tried bowling nude? Some say that the idea is crude. But think of the fun, out there in the sun Where all male members protrude.

And ladies out there in the raw With bums that are sunburnt and sore. Will the Umpires pounce, when those boobs start to bounce And will spectators yell for more.

When men at the kitty are pinging Each movement sets other things swinging

Will what the ladies espy, hit ‘em right in the eye And will their hormones set bells ringing.

And we won’t have to wear all that white Nor wear bras that are often too tight. Just a lot of fat bellies, shaking like jellies Oh, Gawd! What a horrible sight.

Just think of the impact on town

All that naked white, pink and brown For we’re baring it all, the long short and small It’s bums up, as we put the bowls down

Now nude bowlings a sport of some class Showing skill.... and a great deal of arrr..tistic ability But there’s a moral you see, for old you and me And nude bowling? .. . .well I think I’ll pass.

— Mick Orford

Some Memories from Christmases Past

Golf versus Bowls

Ihaveplayed golf for over 40 years and my work involved the building of over 70 golf courses around Australia. When I first started playing bowls my coaches would say “You will be a good bowler as you have played golf for many years”. At that stage I didn’t understand where they were coming from but, once I got my head into understanding lawn bowls, the similarities became so familiar it wasn’t funny. This is how I see lawn bowls compared to golf:

Golf

A golf ball weighs about 45 grams and the size is about one and a half inches. In golf a par four hole is around 400 meters, and you are meant to take four strokes, from tee to green, to put the little white ball into a 4-inch hole. No kicking throwing or carrying the golf ball is allowed. You have 14 clubs to use so confusion sets in! Golf is considered to be the most difficult game in the World!

All you need for golf

Lawn bowls

All you need for bowls

The rink is about 40 meters long by about six meters wide and a bowl weighs about 1500 grams (1.5kg). The aim here is to role the jack within the rink confines to where the Skip requires it and it must be not less than 21 meters long. You then need to get your bowl close to the jack or where the Skipper has asked you to put it.

So now this is where the science of these two games become so much like each other. In bowls you play backhand and forehand and the upshot/drive. In golf you play the draw shot (the forehand) and the fade (backhand) and the straight shot (up shot).

Similarities and differences

In both games you must

• Keep your head down, stay down and follow through

• Look for slopes, contours, and breaks and how much grass to take when putting or bowling,

• Adjust for the wind factor and conditions

• Pay attention to the speed and quality of the green

• Your lie on the course and the quality of the grass on the green

• Pick your line to putt to the hole or to draw to the jack

In bowls once you have picked the correct line for your grass and the bias of your bowl and hope you have the correct weight all you need to do is to just let it rip.

In both games you can change your stance to achieve different ways of playing your shot for the correct outcome. You can also change your grip in both games to get the desired results.

Now the really big issues with these two games is the cost of buying equipment and the annual and green fees.

• Lawn bowls membership $250 per year. A set of bowls is about $650, a bowls bag $150, shoes $120 and money spent at the bar!!!

• Golf membership per year starts at $3000, clubs, bag and buggy $4500 and money spent at bar !!!!!!!!!!!!

I have drawn so much from my golf that has helped me a lot in my bowls. They are both about “SCIENCE” and that’s what we need to appreciate and to help us understand this sport and, if possible, to make this sport easier.

Did you know that the famous golfer – Bobby Locke – built his success around his outstanding putting ability, coining the phrase "You drive for show, but putt for dough."? Wearing his trademark knickerbockers, white shoes, and stockings, Locke played the game at a slow and deliberate pace just like we need to do when we bowl!

At the end of each game comes the frustration generated by each game. The percentage of each game is probably the same and yes we all look forward to the next game “challenge”. However, an interesting thing about both golf and bowls is that no matter how badly you play it is always possible to get worse!

– Gary Bobridge

Guess Who?

There is a bottle of wine for the first person who identifies these ladies when they were younger! Jot down your answer on a piece of paper and hand it to us or email it to: nevodell@bigpond.net.au

From left to right: Annie Taylor, May Mcliver, Emily Dunn, Moira Dean and Mary Cressey

Training and Development Courses

Abigthank you to Bruce Eagles and Richard Bone for organising four new training and development courses for both new and experienced bowlers. More than 70 bowlers have benefitted. It has really been appreciated by all with lots of positive comments received from the participants and club members.

Men and Women’s Program July 2022

A five week course for the above was held on Sunday mornings. It consisted of a theory component, hard copy handouts, Power Point presentations and challenging on green drills. Experienced bowlers –Ross Cunningham, Dan Nicholls, Peter Morgan, Pauline Bourne and Wendy Flack spoke about their bowling history, their experiences in progressing through the ranks and entering events, the importance of roles within the team and their training regimes and goal setting.

Men’s T&D Group August 2022

Ten men from the first two programs regathered for a three week “Beyond the Basics” program designed to further their development by increasing their understanding of and mastering the skills and knowledge needed at the higher levels. They were also exposed to additional theory and even more challenging on-green drills. Four highly credentialed bowlers shared their insights and experiences. Hailey Packer from Manning, Clive Adams from Cambridge, Ryan Brown from Osborne Park and Mick Sweeney from North Beach all made valuable contributions. Ryan and Mick joined in the on-green drills and their skills were noted by all.

Women’s T&D Program August/September 2022

The Selection Committee and Club Captain asked Bruce and Richard to develop a program for two groups. Twenty five bowlers enjoyed the first two week course. With a pre-pennant focus, the first session was focussed on the mental and physical requirements for each shot and on the delivery process rather than the expected outcome.

Power Point presentations of different head formations allowed participants to choose the correct shot to play and green drills tested their skills on the four main shots of drawing through to driving.

Women’s T&D Program September 2022– Second Group

This program was aimed to improve the performance of 25 of our top bowlers. Topics covered were

• How Sorrento is perceived internally and externally

• Our current style/game plan

• The need to expand skill sets

• How to be more assertive on and off the green

• How to play a more modern style of game reading the head

• And playing shots with team input and consideration of the rink scoreboard as well as the “bigger” overall scoreboard.

A Power Point presentation on different head formations provided teams with the opportunity to choose the correct shot to play. On green drills covered the range of shots that need to be played at the top level.

When I spoke to Bruce and Richard, they said it had been very pleasing to see the number of people wishing to participate in their programs and they had been impressed with the enthusiasm and willingness of the participants to get involved in the discussions and on-green drills.

Many of the new bowlers commented that they have formed great friendships and have felt welcomed and respected. Bruce and Richard mentioned that they have appreciated the help they have received from our Coaches Tracey Newman, David Dunstan and Gary Bobridge.

– Neville Odell

Brad's Barber Shop

Did you know that Brad's (one of our long term Sponsors) also sponsors a number of other sporting clubs? In addition last Christmas he raised $27000 for the Pirate Ship Foundation, This Foundation is a bold and passionate community that funds vital research into childhood brain cancer through a range of initiatives, adventures, events and partnerships.

Childhood brain cancer kills more Australian children than any other disease. The identification of improved treatment options for children with brain cancer is our primary objective, ultimately leading to a cure.

In the photo below we have Brad, as Father Christmas, surrounded by his girls. We are so lucky to have people like Brad in our Community.