HoweEnterprise.com
November 23, 2020
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How to lend with family Living with children Hey Taylor My brother asked if I could loan him money for a food service company he’s Taylor launching. I Kovar trust him and like the concept but get a little nervous about lending money to family. Any advice? - Marjorie Hey Marjorie - Family or otherwise, anxiety is always the right feeling when asked to lend money. Once you get past those initial nerves, you need to look past the family part and assess the situation logically. What’s the business? If you like the concept, this loan request has already passed the first test. The main reason I would advise someone not to loan money to a family member is if they feel guilted into doing so and otherwise wouldn’t put capital behind such a venture. If you think your brother understands the industry and knows about all the insurance, inventory, and staffing costs associated with food service, the family connection becomes moot. Do you think this business, as proposed by the business owner and with location in mind, has a chance to do well with the proper funding? If so, don’t dismiss the proposal. What’s the plan? One million “good” concepts get pitched at dining room tables every day. The trick is turning a bright idea into a profitable company, and that involves a solid business plan. If you’re going to invest in this company, you should request a detailed model for how money will get spent, returned, and reinvested. As a personal investor, you deserve as much say as you want in this company. If it makes
sense, you might want to use your money to buy an active role in the operation. Angel investing can make you a lot of money while helping your brother grow the business. However, if you choose to move forward, make sure you get what you want out of this investment. How much are you spending? Like with any investment, don’t spend a penny more than what feels comfortable. Even with a great concept and the smartest brother on the planet, you still face plenty of risks with this kind of venture. You don’t want to put so much money on the line that an unforeseen disaster could sink multiple family members. Ignore the amount your brother asked for and think about what you can confidently invest that’s what’s most important. If you have a family member with a billion-dollar idea, you don’t want to miss out on it. At the same time, you don’t want to lose money on a bad idea just because of a sibling bond. Set aside the relationship and think about investing on your own terms. Best of luck to both of you! Legal Disclaimer: Information presented is for educational purposes only and is not an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments, or investment strategies. Investments involve risk and, unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed. Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial adviser and/or tax professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein. To submit a question to be answered in this column, please send it via email to Question@GoFarWithKovar.com or via USPS to Taylor Kovar, 415 S 1st St, Suite 300, Lufkin, TX 75901.
Q: We have a ten-year-old daughter who runs our family. We allowed her to begin dictating to us when she began John talking and it’s Rosemond just gone slowly downhill ever since. She manipulates us with shrieking tantrums, disrespect, and downright refusal to do what we tell her to do. We must have done something right, however, because she gets nothing but praise and compliments from teachers, coaches, and her peers’ parents. We can hardly believe they are describing the same child. Is it too late to turn this around? If not, what should we do? We’re desperate.
going to live in said circumstances until she completely stops the tantrums and disrespect and is obeying you without exception, discussion, or delay. Also let her know that you are cancelling all extracurricular activities for the duration of her rehab. She will, of course, throw the tantrum to end all tantrums (at least, let’s hope so) upon receiving this edict. Just let her rage.
A: Your daughter has obviously figured out that what works with you is not going to work in other settings with other adults, which is a reliable hallmark of high intelligence. Good news, eh? Nonetheless, you would be wise to get control of her before she hits adolescence. My experience has been that no matter the positives of an at-home hellion, all bets are off by age thirteen.
Third, on any given day, the first offense (tantrum, disrespect, disobedience in any form) results in confinement to her room for thirty minutes. The second offense of the day results in one hour of confinement. The third results in confinement for the remainder of the day and the earliest bedtime you can manage.
To your first question, no, it is not too late to turn this around. I’ve witnessed tougher cookies than your daughter be completely rehabilitated at her age. To do so requires an equally complete overhaul of her life in the home. And believe me, things will get worse before they start getting better. If you’re ready, read on! First, when she’s at school or at a friend’s house one day, strip her room of any “entertainment value” including playthings, electronics, dolls, her music machine, even books. When you’re done, her room should look like a dorm room in a nunnery. Now, the final touch: Take her door off its hinges and store it in the garage or the attic. Second, when she arrives home and discovers her new, minimalist lifestyle, inform her that she is
Do not, under any circumstances, explain to her the moral value of proper family behavior. Given your history, a conversation of that sort with her is likely to turn into a negotiation. You must transform yourselves into brick walls. Make no concessions. Remember the adage of an inch turning into a mile.
Finally, inform her that she is going to live in a doorless boot camp room for a minimum of three months at the end of which there will be an assessment of her progress. If outstanding problems remain, three months will become six. If you pull this off, three months should do it. Pulling it off requires that you learn how to be “mean,” which simply means convincing your daughter that you MEAN what you say. Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, p arentguru.com. John Rosemond has worked with families, children, and parents since 1971 in the field of family psychology. In 1971, John earned his masters in psychology from Western Illinois University and was elected to the Phi Kappa Phi National Honor Society.
