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How to keep that financial New Year’s resolution
Taylor Kovar plan? - Valerie
Hi Taylor - I’m determined to make good changes for my New Year’s resolution. So… how can I start saving money and actually stick to my
Hey Valerie - The first step for making a resolution stick is usually asking for help, so you’re already off to a great start! Think of the goal as a faraway destination, and your job is to figure out what roads you’ll take to get there. Here are three steps you can take to help with this particular New Year’s journey. 1. Lock in a budget. The New Year is a great time to start budgeting or begin a new budgeting approach. Since your goal is to save more money, you have to figure out what options you have for spending less. With a detailed budget that categorizes your expenses, you can pinpoint the areas in your life that could use a dose of frugality. Set a realistic spending limit you can stick to, then move the money that would have been lost to dining out or entertainment and move it into a savings category. Committing to a strict budget can be tough, but hopefully that New Year’s determination you feel will help you get the job done. 2. Dispose of the recurring bills. I’ve been a big fan of the Truebill app for this purpose. The service scans your accounts and gives a report of all the subscriptions that are siphoning away your money. The vast majority of people pay fees they don’t even know about, so this app can save you money in a hurry. You might think you need five different streaming services, but seeing them lined up next to each other and clocking how
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much it costs you each month might be enough to change your mind about that. 3. Invest. You know the best way to stop spending money? Move it into an account where you won’t be tempted to spend it! I can’t tell you how many people don’t invest because they’re afraid of losing liquidity, and yet maintaining too much liquidity is the basis of their financial problems. I suggest using that extra money and invest it! You won’t have to deal with the constant temptation to spend dollars just sitting in your checking account. The fear of investing is strong but illogical, so do your best to overcome it. If you want to do a deeper dive into shoring up your finances in the New Year, check out my blog post at GoFarWithKovar.com. Everyone will enter 2020 with the motivation to make sweeping changes, but only a few people will take concrete steps to make those goals come true. Wishing you a happy and successful year! Taylor Kovar, CEO of Kovar Capital. Read more about Taylor at GoFarWithKovar.com Disclaimer: Information presented is for educational purposes only and is not an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments, or investment strategies. Investments involve risk and, unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed. Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial adviser and/or tax professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein. To submit a question to be answered in this column, please send it via email to Question@GoFarWithKovar.co m, or via USPS to Taylor Kovar, 415 S 1st St, Suite 300, Lufkin,
Living with children I am often asked how long I intend to keep this up, as in writing this column, writing books, and speaking on John childrearing and Rosemond family matters. My answer: As long as they keep it up; “it” being the utter nonsense that emanates and has been emanating from the mental health professional community since the late 1960s, nonsense that corresponds with a precipitous drop in child mental health and a dramatic rise in childhood behavior problems that were once, not so long ago, rare. A good example of the nonsense recently emanated from mindfulness parenting coach Hunter Clarke-Fields in the form of an online excerpt from her latest book, “Raising Good Humans.” A summary of ClarkeFields’ mindful point of view: Raising children the way parents raised children before the advent of mindful people like Hunter Clarke-Fields [that is, when child mental health and academic achievement were much, much better] is really bad. Clarke-Fields doesn’t like parents who insist that their children do as they are told. Never mind that the very best research into parenting outcomes finds that child happiness and child obedience go hand-in-hand, HCF opines that insisting on obedience is bad because the parent “wins” and the child “loses.” This reflects the nonsensical post1960s idea that parenting is a zero -sum game populated by villains (parents who insist upon proper behavior) and victims (children who would much rather act like uncivilized beasties because it’s much more fun and perversely rewarding). I have to admit, I’m so “out of it” I had to look up a definition of mindfulness. I discovered, much to my non-surprise, that mindfulness is a hybrid of eastern meditative techniques (“I am the universe!”) and postmodern psychobabble. Being aware of one’s existence in the present moment and acknowledging the feelings of others is being mindful. Simply speaking, it’s paying attention and being empathic, but expressed as if the person in question is morally superior. Given that yours truly is a recovering hippie, I’ve been there, done that. When applied to raising children, to be mindful is never having to say, “Go to your
room.” According to HCF and psychologist Alan Kazdin, director of the Yale Parenting Center, “while punishment might make a parent feel better, it won’t change a child’s behavior.” The question becomes: “What parent in their right mind feels better after punishing a child?” Answer: none. By definition, a parent who “feels better” after punishing a child is a sociopath. Intelligent parents understand that responsible parenting is not measured in terms of emotion – the parent’s or the child’s. It is measured in terms of the slow, two-steps-forward-one-step-back development of character attributes like respect for others, obedience to legitimate authority, responsibility, humility, and trustworthiness. In short, responsible parenting is not a matter of causing a child to “feel” a certain way; it’s a matter of causing a child to do the right thing. Accomplishing that requires punishment. In order for a young child to understand that he’s done something bad, he must feel bad about it. Until they develop a functionally reliable conscience, children aren’t able to feel bad on their own about the bad things they do. That requires an outside agent, ideally an outside agent who loves the child in question unconditionally. Regretfully, it also requires punishment. The notion that punishment “won’t change a child’s behavior” is refined nonsense. It flies in the face of commonsense, research, and my forty-seven years of experience counseling parents. Does anyone really think I’d have lasted forty-seven years if I was not dispensing helpful advice? I may have stopped trying to be mindful after watching The Beatles descend into meditationinduced temporary insanity, but I still have a mind capable of discerning sense from nonsense. From all recent indications, the nonsense-purveyors are in it for the long run. Therefore, so am I. Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, p arentguru.com. John Rosemond has worked with families, children, and parents since 1971 in the field of family psychology. In 1971, John earned his masters in psychology from Western Illinois University and was elected to the Phi Kappa Phi National Honor Society.
