Monday, June 18, 2018
howeenterprise.com
Living with children A column of mine that originally appeared in January of 2017 has been circulating on the Internet ever since, accumulating over a million hits to date. In a nutshell, its John Rosemond message is simply that parents, not children, are the most important people in a family and the husband-wife relationship should greatly “trump” that between either parent and the kids. In other words, mom and dad are secondary roles. Spouse should rule, in both directions. That is likely disorienting to most folks who are raising children today, but neither of those propositions is regarded as radical by people over age sixty – folks who were raised prior to the onset of the psychological parenting revolution that has throttled the functionality of the American Family since the early 1970s. Individuals in that demographic don’t need a college education to see that the primacy of the parentchild relationship in today’s typical family is what’s causing most if not all of any given family’s problems, and especially those involving child discipline. How, pray tell, can one successfully discipline someone else – irrespective of that someone’s age – while at the same time be focused primarily on having a “wonderful relationship”? Answer: There is no “how.” It is an impossible proposition. Effective leadership is cancelled by the attempt to have “wonderful relationship.” When relationship priorities are properly ordered in a family, the discipline (leadership) of children is relatively simple and painless for all concerned.
adequately protected and provided for, both parents’ primary relationships are with other adults, not them. Likewise, children – regardless of their parents’ marital status – should be in primary relationship with other children. Adult-child relationship boundaries are maintained for the benefit of all concerned. Adults are diminished, especially concerning their authority, when they strive to be friends with children (not friendly, mind you, but friends with). Children, furthermore, fail to develop proper respect for adults who are striving to be liked, and as I said in a recent column, child mental health is inextricably tied to respect for adults. That respect should encompass any and all adults who are identified by a child’s parent or parents as responsible and morally upright, and with that respect should come obedience (because, in this context, the adult in question is not going to give inappropriate instructions to a child). So, to the question at hand, if a responsible, morally upright boyfriend gives a child an instruction, the child should obey.
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It should, at this point, be somewhat needless to say, but the same applies to a stepparent. To be clear, a stepparent’s authority over children should be regarded as COMPLETELY EQUAL IN ALL RESPECTS to a biological/adoptive parent’s authority. When a stepparent is a second-class citizen, there’s trouble in the future, for sure. “You’re not my mom/dad, so I don’t have to do what you say,” just doesn’t cut it.
One final word: Parents, you do not want your children thinking that it is somehow “cool” to have an adult friend. Adult-child friendships are ALWAYS the The column in question has result of adults who invite generated lots of comment – pro children into relationship with and con (as usual, I am some them. That renders a child variety of monster to parenting vulnerable, and that vulnerability progressives) – and questions. One should not be fostered in the such question was recently posed to home, period. me by a single mom in the beautiful state of Kentucky: “How does your Family psychologist John advice apply to the man I’m dating Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, and my relationship with him?” parentguru.com.
Emily Dawsey of Howe graduates from Harding University SEARCY, AR (06/14/2018)- Emily Dawsey of Howe (75495) is one of more than 800 graduates who received a diploma at Harding University's commencement exercises May 5, 2018.
McLarty presented the diplomas to the graduates.
Harding University is a private Christian university located in Searcy, Arkansas. Accredited by the Higher Learning Commission, Dawsey received a Bachelor of it is the largest private university Arts in English. in the state. Harding's student John Rosemond has worked with Given that my mother was single body is made up of students for most of my first seven years, I families, children, and parents Graduates include students from representing 50 states and 54 am eminently qualified to answer: since 1971 in the field of family the College of Allied Health, nations and territories. The psychology. In 1971, John earned College of Arts and Humanities, to wit, as regards a single parent, University offers more than 100 his masters in psychology from the same principle and priorities College of Bible and Ministry, Paul undergraduate majors, graduate apply, actually. Children of divorce Western Illinois University and R. Carter College of Business and professional degrees at the should know that whereas they are was elected to the Phi Kappa Phi Administration, Cannon-Clary master's, specialist and doctoral National Honor Society. loved and will always be College of Education, Carr College level as well as numerous of Nursing, College of Pharmacy, international study offerings College of Sciences, and the including locations in Australia, Honors College. Chile, England, France, Greece, Italy and Zambia. For more University President Bruce D. information, visit harding.edu.
