Love or Lust By Mone Moore
Have you ever been in love before? I know I have. My name is Star Johnson, I am 52
years old and I live in Burlington County, New Jersey. 35 years ago was when my life has changed forever. I was a Senior and boy! it was a fun year so far. Fun activities, PROM, and graduation as well as being with my friends through this journey, but that journey went down the hill when I met the love of my life,Thomas Smith. Oh boy! He was a college football player, he's a 20 year old, tall ,and so very handsome, and a BAD BOY. All the girls wanted him, but I knew I would never have a chance with him. My best friend James and I went to the mall shopping for his date tonight. I loved my best friend even though he gets on my nerves with his grumpy self. “What do you think of this outfit.̈ said James. I don't know why I ́ m always dragged in his love life, I need to be worried about mine. A few hours passed by, James and I went to go get a coffee and Starbucks. There coffees are delicious I would live here forever. We sat and talked and by the time my clumsy self got up from my seat, I accidentally spilled my drink on this guy. In my mind I felt like an embarrassment. By the time I looked up to see who I spilled my coffee on it was THOMAS SMITH … ”O.M.G.” I literally froze and have no words. “ Are you OK,” said Thomas with a twinkle in his smile. I apologized and left until he stopped me. “What is your name? I have never seen you around here before,” said James. “I ́ m Star” said I.
“Star thats a beautiful name,” with a smirk from his beautiful smile. “Can I take you out sometime Star” ”Sure” said I. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. A few days later, Thomas and I have been hanging out a lot, having late night calls and a lot of…. you know what males, and females do. “Hey im young and I can have fun, too,” and from that day we have never been separated, we were always together, I went to his games for support and he just gives me happiness in my heart. Thomas wasn't your typical, average boy. He may be rough on the outside but on the inside he was a different person. One thing nobody knows about him was that he writes poems. One day he took me out on a picnic date at the park and he spoke out a poem for me, my heart just skipped a beat. Time has passed. I am now 23, still in college for nursing and still with Thomas. Through the years, things have changed between Thomas and I, but we were still able to make things work with everything. He put happiness in my life, until one day that broke my heart into pieces. That day I found out he was cheating as well as having a baby while we were together. He tried to make things work, but I didn't want to hear anything he had to say. I was torn into pieces that after all these years he could do this to me. I know our relationship hasn't been great lately, but that still didn't give him the reason to do what he has done. So I left. I transferred to a different college and moved away from New Jersey. A month later I went to a college in Florida. I was ok, I missed my friends and
family, but I couldn't bare to stay knowing that hurt that was caused there. At the age of 32, I finally completed my nursing degree and have a great job. After Thomas and I ended, I have never been with another man, I have tried a woman but that didn't work out how I wanted. Every night I thought about Thomas, even when I tried not too but it's just too hard, but in due time I got over everything that's keeping me from my future. Like what Maya Angelou said, “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.¨
Being 52 is a dreadful age when you don't know what else to do with your life. I am still working as a nurse. Not married, no kids, I do have a dog named Snowy. On March 15,1965 was a busy day at the hospital there was a big wreck at Florida ́ s bridge that caused over 30 people to get injured or death. It was a very dramatic experience. After all the operations where cleared, I was assigned to take care of a man in room 292 on the second floor of the hospital. He was mainly sleep and his face was wrapped from the tragic accident. Days and nights go by I have been taking care of him, but suddenly he started to speak. ̈ ̈From the looks of you beauty, from the smile you bring to my heart ̈ My mind went blank because I have heard of the short poem before , but I have only heard it from…Thomas…. I turnt slowly unwilling to look clear of the man's face that was wrapped. ̈ ̈Thomas ̈ said I ̈Yes, it's me, and I am so happy to see you again.¨
ĚˆAfter all these years you are still beautiful Ěˆ A tear came down my face. Not knowing if it was tears of Joy. I never thought of seeing him again from everything we went through at times I still think and pray, but in my heart I didn't know what to expect. I don't know if it was LOVE or LUST between us unknowing it.
Picture 1 https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CALOFP_enUS845&ei=otmlXa3CDqWxggf mlIaIAg&q=lust+or+love&oq=lust+or+love&gs_l=psy-ab.3..0i273j0l9.1187.3775..4171... 0.2..1.993.3471.2-2j0j1j1j2......0....1..gws-wiz.......0i71j0i67i70i249j0i67.THcofo34pyk&ve d=0ahUKEwitm8_gvp7lAhWlmOAKHWaKASEQ4dUDCAs&uact=5&safe=active&ssui=o n
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