SERVING HENDRICKS COUNTY SINCE 1847
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The Republican
Voices
Thursday, November 18, 2021
Your Mental Health
Exploring Hendricks County
By Chase Cotton, Community Director, The Willow Center 317-852-3690
By Jackie Horn
Gratitude and Your Mental Health
What did we do before selfies?
A Thousand Words
There’s an adage, “A picture is worth a thousand words.” If that’s true, the Horns are probably some of the wordiest people on Earth! John loves taking pictures of the grandkids, of me, of scenery, of just about anything. Literally, tens of thousands of images are stored on our computer. We pay an annual fee to save them off-site too, in case a hard drive fails, fire or flood, or any other disaster strikes. Our photos are some of our most valuable possessions. John and I are old enough to remember when Brownies weren’t just a tasty cookie bar. We know what flashbulbs and cubes are and used them. We understand Paul Simons, “Kodachrome” lyrics. Back when we were young, you had to PAY for film to take pictures. You had to PAY to have them developed and it wasn’t cheap. It took a week to get them back! You paid even for the shots that were blurry or had your thumb in them. When digital cameras came out, they offered an astounding 1.8- megapixel image. The camera required a floppy disc. The pictures were available to view immediately. Bad shots could be erased before they were printed. It was a technological marvel! Today the device I carry around in my pocket to make phone calls takes 12-megapixel images. It shoots video and has special effects like slow motion too. John’s newest camera shoots 32 megapixels and the images are amazing. John’s current camera is a Canon 90D. John has patience. He makes adjustments. He changes lenses. He twists dials and turns rings. It means nothing to me. It’s a big, black camera. I have zero patience. I want to point and click. I shoot photos using an iPhone 11. Are my photos as fabulous as his? Nope. Do I care? Not usually. If a UFO landed in the backyard right this minute, who do you think would get the best picture? Neither John nor I am a professional photographer. We do have loads of experience. I thought I’d pass along a few tips on taking photographs. Tip #1: The best camera is the one you have with you. Like UFOs, kids don’t always hold their adorable poses for long. A fancy camera takes time to get out of the bag, assemble and set up. John likes to take his camera on our adventures. The camera isn’t exactly lightweight. He keeps it around his neck just in case something spectacular happens, like the bear crossing our bike path. He plans ahead to take photos of butterflies and bees so he’s all set up for it. The pictures he takes are gorgeous. He can zoom in to capture the hairs on a bee’s legs or a bear’s eyelashes. But life isn’t always planned. When it comes to that quick moment of awesome kid cuteness or the alien beaming out of its spaceship, I’ll be ready to whip out my phone and capture that moment because I always have my phone with me.
Photograph of the photographerl
Tip #2: A photograph will never capture the true image your eyes see. The human eye is a miracle. No camera, even with 32 megapixels, can replicate the real thing. With photo editing programs, people can try to perfect the image, but it just doesn’t cut it. And that’s OK. Photographs shouldn’t be about duplicating the beauty but capturing the memory. The real beauty of that instant will be in your mind. The photo helps you recall that magical instant whether it’s the sun beaming down on an autumn landscape or a baby’s smile. Tip #3: A photograph doesn’t have to be perfect. I hate to tell you how many pictures I’ve taken of my thumb. With today’s photo editing programs, a less-thanperfect picture can be saved. A little cropping and the offending appendage is history. Red eyes from looking at the flash, gone. Too light or too dark, a few clicks and it’s fixed. Some photographic issues can’t be easily remedied but that doesn’t mean the picture shouldn’t be saved. With eight grandkids, there is always the one who has their eyes closed, is making a face, or crying (sometimes all different kids in one shot.) There’s no way to “fix” the photo. I keep them anyway because like I said in Tip #2, it’s about preserving the memory….and future blackmail.
Football or soccer games, band concerts, John rarely leaves his camera at home if there’s a grandchild around.
Tip #4: Don’t keep your pictures just digitally. Make prints from some of your photos. Back in the day, the joke was if you asked about someone’s kids, they’d pull out a photo album and start showing you hundreds of photos. With Facebook, Instagram, and other social media sites, everyone posts pictures but no one makes hard copies. John and I have photo albums for each grandchild from the day they were born to the present. We make it a point to print a few pictures every year and add them to the albums. All the kids, even the oldest ones, love to look at their books and see themselves through the years. When we’re gone, those albums will be theirs. I’m betting their kids will love looking at them too. Go ahead and click away. The “film” is cheap and the memories are priceless.
JUST AN OBSERVATION By Janet Beam
WHEN IS IT MY TURN?
I remember many years ago, my dear mother-in-law said to me after my father-in-law had somewhat retired that she realized women never truly get to retire. How true! She lived her life as a stay-at-mom home to three rambunctious boys. She cooked three meals a day for almost every day of her life. She was an outstanding cook; therefore, her husband never wanted to eat out. She dutifully planned those three meals a day with lots of variety She got me to thinking. When husbands retire, most of them still keep somewhat busy around the house mowing the yard, raking leaves, watching sports on TV, playing golf, puttering with this and that. However, when a woman reaches retirement age (whenever that may be), nothing really changes. If she had a job outside of the home, that may stop, but everything else continues. All the housecleaning, the laundry, the cooking, the dishwashing, the window washing, the grocery shopping just goes on, and on and on! Sure there may be time for some trips here and there, but, let’s face it, a woman’s work is never done. No matter whether she is 35, 48, 56, 68, 77, 85, or 99, if she still has a house to maintain the work goes on. Now I don’t mind the housekeeping aspect, but boy does that cooking get old! So husbands, if you are not doing so now, step in there and lend a hand. It will be much appreciated! But what I wouldn’t give for a personal chef! Just an observation. ______________________________________________ We offer Voices as a place to share a story, a memory, an idea, a comment, a criticism, or a solution. Contributors must include name, address & phone number. (Please keep submissions under 500 words)
A Note From Bee I was named Bee after my mother. I immediately became Little Bee to family and family friends. Fortunately, my friends never knew my nickname. When I was much, much older I did share with some of my friends my nickname. A friend commented that she was the baby of the family. When the family got together they still called her Baby well into her 60’s . By that time the older members of the family had died. I wish when I was about six years old, my family and their friends would have dropped “Little.” When I called my immediate family I could just say this is Bee calling. Anyone else, if I said Bee, they thought it was my mother. So then I would say, “No, Little Bee.” When the older members of the family and friends died, I thought that would be the end of Little Bee. Oh, no! When I was about 50, a cousin who was about 25 introduced me as Little Bee. Fortunately she moved to California and she hasn’t kept in touch with the family. ______________________________________________ Neither a borrower nor a lender be. William Shakespeare
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I love November. November brings us cooler wind, warmer drinks, more colorful trees, and fonder get-togethers with family. It truly is one of my favorite times of year, perhaps even more-so this year due to missing everything due to the pandemic last year. Yet, despite my heightened awareness of all this goodness, I still hear myself complaining about this or that at the end of the day. This complaining is starting bum me out. Can you relate? We’re all prone to complaining sometimes. It’s been a difficult couple of years for us, to say the least! However, there is a strong body of scientific research that suggests complaining, and posturing and general orientation of complaint toward one’s life, can actually contribute to symptoms of anxiety and depression. As a person who is already prone to anxiety and depression, I certainly don’t want to be hurting my chances of feeling better by complaining! I believe the missing key for me, and perhaps for all of us, is gratitude. November is a season of gratitude! We are even blessed with an entire holiday dedicated to giving thanks. From day to day, there are so many people, places, and things we take for granted, rarely expressing our thankfulness for them. Family members, close friends, partners, kids, jobs with decent income, opportunities to rest, another day sober, fun hobbies, a warm and dry place to call “home”, even the breath in our lungs -- the list of what we could be grateful for is endless. There’s also a strong body of scientific research that suggests that practicing daily gratitude can actually improve your mental health and quality of life! One such study, completed cooperatively by the University of Miami and the University of California, tested the effectiveness of daily gratitude practice. In the study, one group of people wrote a few things they were grateful for down in a journal each day. Another group of people wrote a few complaints down in their journals each day. A third group did not journal at all, as control in the experiment. The researchers found that the group of people that kept a daily gratitude journal felt “more optimistic and better about their lives” – and on top of this, the group was also much more likely to exercise and got sick less often than the other two groups. So, what are you grateful for today? I challenge you to practice expressing thankfulness by beginning a brief gratitude journal today. Each day, write down 3 things you are grateful for, and why you are grateful for them. A single sentence for each thing will suffice. By the end of the month of November, if it’s working as well for you as it has been working for me, just keep it going for the rest of the year. Here’s to improved moods and more positive outlooks on our daily lives! ______________________________________________
A Squirrel About Town By Archy “Listen,” Archy said. I didn’t hear anything. “Listen to what?,” I asked. “Exactly,” the squirrel said. “When I said, ‘listen,’ you did the opposite. You talked. I really get a kick out of you humans.” That’s when I got it. People don’t take the time to listen to one another, they’re compelled to fill the space with talk. Archy raised a tiny eyebrow. “So, you’re starting to understand. Good. Listening is the best tool you have to communicate with each other, but the least used.” This time I was listening. Taking in what was said without getting my mouth in gear. I felt like I was suddenly standing in the middle of a field of ideas. The squirrel chuckled. “Quite a feeling, isn’t it? It’s like art - you have positive space and negative space, and to make it work you have to find the right balance.” I suddenly pictured Archy with a tiny beret standing at an easel and was silenced by the sheer cuteness of it. “Snap out of it,” he barked. “I was trying to make a point. You have to listen to what the other person is saying, and then listen to what you’re thinking about before you say it. That way you’re learning about them and learning about yourself at the same time.” He was right. I recalled so many instances of people arguing by talking over each other. “Yes,” Archy said proudly. “You’re getting the hang of it. You can’t make a point if no one listens to it. And no one will listen to your point if they think you didn’t listen to theirs. Letting the words sink in, I think you call it. This time I listened to the squirrel and really heard what he said and understood what he meant. “Exactly,” I said.
