chair, under the table and under the table cloth but the There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and man stared straight ahead. one of a nude woman, posed to elegantly cover their The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down privates. her chair and totally out of sight under the tablecloth. Still, They had been facing each other across a pathway for a GearHead returns home a day ear A passenger in a taxi heading for Tampa Airport thedriver man stared straight ahead. hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from his bike broke down and he caugh when he leaned over to ask the a question waitress, thinking bit risqué the sky and, with a single gesture, bringstapped the two him to life. of town,a and thenand grabbed a cab. and gently on the The shoulder to get his this behavior after midnight. attention. worried that it might offend It’s other diners, went over to the The angel tells them, ‘As a reward for being so patient While ontohis he asks t The driver lost control thetactfully, cab, nearly tableofand, began by saying theway man,home, “Pardon through a hundred blazing summers andscreamed, dismal winters, would be a witness. The man susp hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just sir, but I think your wife having just slid an under the and table.” you have been given life for inches thirty minutes do what affair, he wants to c from atolarge plate-glassme window. calmly looked up at her and said, “No she didn’t, you’ve wished to do the most.’ act. For a few moments everythingThe wasman silent in the cab. thethey shaking driver said, she “Arejust you o.k.?in.” I’m so For $100 bucks, the cabby agrees walked He looks at her, she looks atThen, him, and go running sorry, but you scared the living daylights out of me.” Quietly arriving home, the husban behind the shrubbery. toe into the bedroom. The badly shaken passenger apologized to the A man plane kids. After they get on settled The angel waits patiently as driver the bushes giggling GearHead switches the lights, and rustle said, and “I didn’t realize that boards a merea tap onwith six in their so seats, a woman sitting across aisleisleans over in bed ensues. back andthe there his wife, the shoulder would startle someone badly.” just as heyours?” suspected! The driver himone and who asks, should “Are all of those kids He looks After fifteen minutes, the two return, outreplied, of breath“No, and no, I’mtothe GearHead puts gun to the nak apologize, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my very bewildered at her and replies, “No. I work for his a condom laughing. first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for The wife shouts, company. These are customer complaints.” The angel tells them, ‘Um, you minutes left, ‘Don’t do it! I lied when I told you thehave pastfifteen 25 years.” would you care to go again?’ money from my Aunt Sarah. Mildred, the small town gossipAand self-appointed HE5th paid for class: the Audi I gave teacher asks the kids in her grade “What do you on He asks her ‘Shall we?’ monitor of church morals, was always one to stick HE paid for our new cabin cruiser. you want Most to be when up?” She eagerly replies, ‘Oh, yes,her let’s! But into let’s change nose other people’s business. mem-you grow HE paid for your season tickets. Little Johnny of says: start outfor as our a Fighter Pilot, positions. This time, I’ll hold bers the of the congregation did not approve her“I wanna’HE paid house at the lake. intrusions, but she was feared due to her lethal then be a billionaire, go to the clubs, tour with HEmost paidexpensive for your African pigeon down while you crap on its’ head.’ forked tongue, so everyone maintained ATV. find me thetheir finestsiho’ moneybuddies can buy,and giveyour her anew Ferrari lence. HE paid for the custom rims for yo millionshe bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, A biker couple, just married during Bikethat Week, were in too farworth She took fatal step one over day, awhen HE paid for our Family WaterWorld a mansion in Paris, of a jet to travel Europe, their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they accused “Lightning”, a biker, and new member And, throughout HE even pays the an monthly du the Church, of being an alcoholic after she saw his Private schooling. her like a no-limit Visa Platinum, and all the while...banging undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, old Chevy pickup in front of the town’s Shaking his head from side-to-side screen doorsmall in a hurricane.” tossed his pants to his hot bride and said, “Here,parked put these only bar all morning and late into the night. She ersknowing his gun. Hetolooks totally confu on.” She put them on, and the waist was twice size emphatically toldthe Lightning in The frontteacher, of theshocked entire and not cabby andwhat says, do with this horriblethat response decides not to acknowledge what you he said of her body. “I can’t wear your pants,” she said. congregation that“That’s “Everyone seeing pickup ‘What the hell would do? there would know what he was doing”. Fact was, The cabby never skips a beat and and simply continue with the lesson. right!!” said the husband, “and don’t you forget it. I’m the had volunteered to help Gus, theand barhow abouthis assSarah?” with that blanket before he “Alright then, you, man who wears the pants inLightning this family!” With that she owner, repair a leaky ceiling in the kitchen. But Gus cold.’ “I wanna’ be flipped him her panties and said, on.” Heoftried was “Try not these a member the congregation soJohnny’s nothingho’”. them on and found he could was only brought get them to on light. as far as his “Putter” and all his golfing buddie Lightning, man of fewShe wordsAbut plenty the green while he’s got a very im Doctor asksof hisaction, patient; whom is a pregnant prostitute, kneecaps. He said, “Hell, I can’t get into ayour panties!” stared at her for a solid minute, then just got up win the game that’s not over 15 fe “Well, do you know who the father is?” said, “That’s absolutely right, and that’s the way it’s going and left the church. He said nothing. straight in. Prostitute looks at the Doc and very exhaustedly replies, to be until you adjust your attitude, big boy.” Later that early morning; around 1:00 a.m., Light“Handicap” yells out, “come on, a for goodness sake, if you a can of beans, ning parked his pickup directly“Oh, in front of Mildred’s all ate want to finish up would and grab a dr house, walked home, andinleft you it there night long Putter replies back, although in a knowall which one made you fart?.” A man and woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner and late into the lunch hour. “don’t bust my balls here huh? My a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other on the Club’s veranda watching us and holding hands. Things That Make You Go Hmmmm?? get it right”. Handicap yells back, your aOB-GYN The waitress, taking anotherWhy orderdoes at a table few stepsleave the room when you “Nah, forget about it, that’s way to get undressed, only to sit down in front of you never hit her from here”. away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her
Happy Easter Bikers!
and see all you got to see in plain view, when they return to the room?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
One year, I decided to buy my mo cemetery plot as a birthday gift The next year, I didn’t buy her a g
