The Reflection in the Mirror Be Kind: Watch What You Say To It!! “The most important opinion you have is the one you have of yourself, and the most significant things you say all day are those things you say to yourself.” ~Unknown
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hen you look in the mirror, what do you see? What is it you look for? Do you admire the reflection looking back at you? Do you smile at her and admire her smile, her blemishes, her curves and natural beauty. Do you appreciate his bold eyes, the mustache, the dimples on his face and maybe even his thigh, or do you look at all of the things that you wish were different; or tell yourself, “If I ever win the lottery, look out plastic surgeon because here I come!” So many times in our lives, we’ve focused on the imperfections about the way we look and what we believe to be “things that are wrong”, both physically and emotionally. Where did it all begin, you ask? For so many of us these ideas were “programmed” into our minds at a very young age. Most of the views of how we see ourselves came from other sources in our lives, be it an aunt who always commented on how chubby you’d gotten over the summer or the grandmother that registered her opinion of the fact that you were just too thin for her liking. Rejection often comes in many forms and negative self-talk from others is often the horse it rides in on. Beliefs often are the catalyst and foundation of how we see ourselves and how we think others perceive us, as well. We tend to form our “truths” based off of someone else’s approval; or, more than not, one’s disapproval. I often refer to the analogy that Dr. Shad Helmstetter uses in his book, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself. He likens the mind to a computer hard drive that has been programmed with years of negative information. And, as with any hard drive, it only understands and recognizes the data that’s been programmed into it. It then becomes the source that we use to gauge our opinions, and it’s the source in which the images of how we see ourselves are formed. In turn, we pass it on. 6
