Baljinder Sull, M.C Registered Psychologist
sullpsychology@gmail.com
Love that endures: Managing grief over the holidays and celebrating life Submitted by Baljinder Sull of Sull Psychology
T
he holiday season, with its emphasis on family, joy, and closeness, is often a time of celebration. However, for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one, the holidays can be a bittersweet reminder of past moments filled with happiness. Managing the complexities of grief during the holiday seasons can be a challenge, as each person’s journey is a unique one. I remember my first Christmas following the death of my younger brother. I felt torn between the desire to create something magical for my children and family, and the need to honour my late brother’s memory. Between my needs and wants, I also had to be realistic about my capacity. Grief is after all exhausting: physically and emotionally. When supporting clients in managing grief over the holidays, I’m often asked about the ‘right way to grieve.’ I remind clients that ‘the right way is your way, and the only rule of thumb is not to hurt yourself or others.’ Some people may opt to distance themselves from the holidays as it may feel too overwhelming, others may travel, and some will find a way to embrace the holidays. These are all great options. What people choose to do can vary widely, 16
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and there’s no one size fits all approach. Each person and family will discover what works best for them as they find their way through the complexities of grief. Making a plan One helpful approach is to make a plan leading up to the holidays. Make a note of events (anniversaries, birthdays, traditions, etc.) which may be emotionally challenging, and create a plan. For those facing their first holidays without a loved one, planning ahead can help manage any anxiety which may arise. Consider what you would like to do for yourself (self-care), and anything you would like to do for your loved one as a way to honour their memory. It can be anything you want, remember it’s about honouring your relationship with the deceased. Creating a routine for the day and fostering a plan to be surrounded by supportive people can be helpful aspects of creating a plan. If you find yourself in need of additional support on managing grief, don’t hesitate to reach out to professional supports. Free yourself from the weight of past expectations, and do
Chestermere Anchor News Magazine: Home Grown, Well Anchored, Reaching far beyond Chestermere’s Shores
