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vol. 2 no. 19  15 march 2012

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hall of fame luck of the irish major changes at uwa

Bank of York 716 N Washington, Livingston, AL 35470 • 205-652-1391 301 N Broad Street, York, AL 36925 • 205-392-5205


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muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

15 march 2012

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A study by Texas Tech’s Institute for Disaster Research revealed that a 260-mph tornado creates a pressure drop of about ten percent less than that of a house. This drop in air pressure is not enough to cause a house to explode from within. People who believe that their home is on the verge of being blown away by a tornado should immediately seek shelter instead of wasting time opening windows. @the university of west alabama

UWA Station 22, Livingston, AL 35470 Wallace Hall 108A • (205) 652-5511 muse@uwa.edu http://www.uwa.edu/muse

~help wanted~

Whether you’ve had experience on a newspaper or yearbook staff or you simply have an interest in journalism and related technology-based fields, our growing and friendly staff has a position for you! Contribute as a part-time stringer or earn credit for your work in JN219. For more information about scholarships and staff positions, contact Greg Jones at 205-652-3752.

FALSE: Raising the windows will not save a home from being demolished by a tornado. Gusts of wind have driven large objects into the outside walls of house in the path of a tornado, thereby creating vents that should reduce the air pressure inside the house. Yet, the house was destroyed anyway. Why?

on the cover:

Do you have the luck of the Irish? Inside this issue, discover the history of St. Patrick’s Day, leprechaun movies, and everyone’s favorite, green beer.

faculty advisor Greg Jones faculty media rep Tracie Henson ghost writer Alan Brown editor-in-chief Mary Schellhammer copy editor Nelson Sims

muse staff

production manager Elise Keller girl friday Liz Stainton

staff writers: Alesha McNeese Amber Hallenbeck Carleen Davis Cory Sly Dymond Hannon Gabrielle Manuel Kadarrius James Katie Hughey Nicholas J. Finch Taylor Crocker Travis Moore

muse is published weekly during the fall and spring semesters by the students of The University of West Alabama. The opinions are those of the individual writers and not necessarily those of the school administration, the student body, or the Board of Trustees. The staff and advisor of muse are committed to journalistic principles of fair and objective representation of the pros and cons of all issues.

submissions policy

Announcements, stories, pictures, letters to the editors, or ads may be submitted by 3:00 pm each Monday for the weekly edition of muse. The editors reserve the right to edit for libel, news style, and space limitations. All letters to the editor must be signed. Submissions may be dropped by WH 108A, mailed to Station 22, phoned to 5511, or e-mailed to muse@uwa.edu.


innovative major hits uwa www.uwa.edu/muse

15 march 2012

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

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mary schellhammer

choose from include broadcast journalism, photography, graphic design, web design, advertising, and social media. With a growing enrollment, students will also gain access to an up-to-date Mac lab, a modernized broadcast studio, and high-end camera equipment. Students enrolled in the hands-on classes will be able to share their hard work in real time through contributions to muse, UWA’s student newspaper and Tiger Pause, UWA’s weekly news broadcast. Graduating with a degree in IMC opens far more doors for future careers than a traditional communications or marketing degree. Some potential careers include the following: Media Planner Public Relations Executive Sports Information Director Media Relations Specialist Sales Executive Magazine Writer/Editor/ Designer/Photographer Integrated Marketing Manager Television Broadcaster Newspaper/Magazine

Journalist Art Director Copywriter Website Designer Sports Marketing Director Multimedia Director (YouTube, Texting, Social Media, Traditional Media) Advertising Executive Social Media Director (Twitter, Facebook)

Possible future employers include: Advertising Agencies Public Relations Agencies Universities or Colleges Non-Profit Organizations Professional Sports Teams

Television Stations Magazines Newspapers Local or Federal Government

Several students have already signed up to change their majors. “Students appear to be excited about the new, innovative communications major. They will have the opportunity to explore graphic design, video production, photography, web-design, writing, advertising, and social media in a stimulating classroom environment. These skills will enable them to be highly competitive in today’s job market,” said Dr. Jones. To find out more about the IMC major, please contact Dr. Amy Jones at ajones@ uwa.edu.

stainton | muse

Beginning in fall 2012, The University of West Alabama will offer a new major, integrated marketing communications (IMC). The Alabama Commission on Higher Education approved the new major last Friday. UWA is the only institution in the state offering the innovative communications major, which will be housed within the college of liberal arts. IMC will offer students the opportunity to gain handson experience while learning marketing principals. The new major combines teaching theory with creating professional campaigns. Dr. Amy Jones, the program’s director, said, “Social media and other digital technologies have changed communication. Today, anyone with a computer or smart phone is capable of producing a media message. The IMC major will give students handson experience in producing quality media messages, while providing them with the necessary knowledge of how to market those messages to desired audiences.” Since the birth of social media, a growing demand for IMC programs has developed. Other institutions offering an IMC degree have noted much higher enrollment in this program than in other, traditional communications majors. Dr. Jones anticipates an enrollment of 15-20 students for the inaugural registration. Students enrolled in the program will take 28 hours of communications classes, 15 hours of marketing classes and 9 hours of social science classes, which will be geared toward studying how different demographics think. Some examples of the classes an IMC student can


do not get pinched 4

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

15 march 2012

www.uwa.edu/muse

mary schellhammer

till he was 20 years old. Patrick said that God appeared to him in a dream and told him to flee when he was 20, so he did just that, returning to Britain to become a priest. Myth 1: St. Patrick was not Irish. After becoming a priest, Patrick returned to Ireland and began teaching the people about the trinity using three-leaf clovers as visual aids. Fact 2: St. Patrick used three leaf clovers to teach about the trinity and Christianity. Another popular story about St. Patrick depicts the saint driving the serpents out of Ireland. Ireland is an island and has likely never been inhabited by snakes; however, many of the pagans that Patrick was trying to convert used the serpent as a religious symbol. Myth 2: St. Patrick likely never ran real serpents out of Ireland, but rather encouraged pagans to adopt

Tuesday March 20 5:30 p.m. Lake LU

Bring poetry or fiction by another author to read. A 4:47 time limit will be enforced.

Poetry at the Lake

Many older depictions of the saint feature him wearing a blue vestment rather than the green one he is traditionally seen in now. The original, official color for the saint was in fact blue. The green associated with St. Patrick’s Day is likely due to the abundant greenery growing in the Irish countryside. Fact 3: St. Patrick’s official color is blue, not green as many people would assume. This year, instead of pinching people who are not wearing green, perhaps people not wearing blue should be pinched.

Christianity and get rid of their pagan symbols such as serpents. St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated on March 17 because the feast day actually commemorates the day Patrick died. Myth 3: St. Patrick’s day does not commemorate the day St. Patrick was born, but rather the day he died.

sims | muse

Saturday, March 17, is arguably one of college students’ favorite holidays as bars and pubs in many areas offer cut-rate prices on greendyed beers, but what is the story behind St. Patrick’s Day? What traditions are simply myths? St. Patrick was born in a wealthy Romano-British family during the fifth century. During his teens, Patrick was kidnapped and forced to work as a slave in Ireland. Fact 1: St. Patrick was a slave from the time he was 16

hall of fame inductees nelson sims

The Center for the Study of the Black Belt will hold their annual induction ceremony for the Black Belt Hall of Fame on March 16, 2012. This year’s Black Belt Hall of Fame recipients include novelist Mary Thomas Ward Brown, the late scientist George Washington Carver and the late blues musician Willie Earl King. A dinner will precede the induction ceremony in the Bell Conference Center. Executive Director for the Center for the Study of the Black Belt, Dr. Tina Jones, explained that the Black Belt Hall of Fame “seeks to recognize and honor those associated with the Black Belt who have had a positive impact on the region, the state, the nation, and the world through contributions in art, business, education, industry, medicine, politics, and science.” All three of this year’s inductees possess unquestionable credentials and have made unparalleled contributions to their fields. Mary Ward Brown’s career as a novel-

ist has earned her the Penn-Hemingway Award for “Tongues of Flame,” a collection of short stories. Brown also won the Alabama Author Award for “It Wasn’t All Dancing” in 2002. She has been an honored guest of The University of West Alabama on numerous occasions and her short stories have been published by the university’s Livingston Press. Willie Earle King was an internationally known blues artist based out of Pickens County. King, who was officially recognized as the Blues Artist of the Year in 2004, was known for his love of the region, his connection to community, and his gift for sharing his music with all ages. During his career, King traveled to numerous schools sharing his life’s story and instilling an appreciation of the blues into future generations. King passed away at the age of 65 in 2011. His legacy is carried on today by the countless people who were influence by him and through his annual Freedom Creek Festival, headed by the Bama Blues Project.

George Washington Carver was a renowned inventor, teacher and scientist. Carver spent 47 years as the head of Tuskegee Institute’s Agriculture Department. His research into alternatives for cotton led to significant innovations in numerous crops, most famously peanuts. Carver’s research led to international fame and countless honors both during his lifetime and after his death in 1943. The Center for the Study of the Black Belt begins the induction process for their Hall of Fame each year in August when nomination forms become available on the UWA website. Up to three nominations, living or deceased, are chosen each year. Forms for nominations require a letter of testimony explaining the nominee’s eligibility for induction. The 2012 Black Belt Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony will begin at 5:30 p.m. Plates for the dinner will be $15. Attendees may RSVP to Valerie Burns at 205-6523829 or vburns@uwa.edu.


baseball 15 march 2012

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

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bottom of the ninth

chelsea malia tucker

On Tuesday afternoon, March 6, at exactly 2:00 p.m., the courageous Lady Tigers softball team took on the prodigious Tuskegee University in a double header. The first game proved to be a struggle for the West. By the seventh inning the girls were tied, 4 to 4, resulting in an eighth inning, a feat that puts fear into even the bravest softball player’s heart. The outcome finished with a disappointing loss to Tuskegee’s 6 and West Alabama’s 5. Pitchers for this game included Hannah liz stainton

The University of West Alabama’s baseball team played the Catawba Indians on Tuesday, March 6 at Tartt Field. Coach Gary Rundles led the Tigers to a 6-3 win over the Indians. The Tigers started off the game a little slow and Catawba pulled liz stainton

On Saturday, March 10, the Univeristy of West Alabama played the University of West Georgia. Coach Gary Rundles led the Tigers to a split day, pulling a 4-1 win in the morning and trailing 13-3 in the later of the day. Barry Meeks picked up the

Griffin and Kristin Skinner. The Tigers did not let their disappointment about the first game discourage them. They won the last game 10 to 0. The game began around 4:30 p.m. with Jessica Brock as the starting pitcher. By the second inning, the girls were leading 3 to 0 with an impressive, near home run by Tamara Vickers. Tamara is a California native known to be fast on her feet. She and her teammates definitely proved themselves worthy with this win.

off to an early 1-0 lead. The Tigers picked up their pace and pulled out to a 4-1 led during the second inning. DJ Turo and Micah Reeves lead the Tigers’ plate, helping keep the lead and eventually helping to win the game.

win during the morning game. The game remained scoreless until the fourth inning when left fielder, Micah Reeves, scored a single up the middle. The Tigers would move on to play UWG on Sunday, March 11.

"If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail" -Benjamin Franklin

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stainton | muse

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muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

international news dymond hannon

mourning in japan

On Sunday, March 11, People all over Japan mourned for the 19,000 people lost a year ago when a tsunami hit. Many villages and towns are still shell-shocked so people gathered in those places on March 11 to remember those gone. The nation paused at 2:46 p.m. to mark the 9.0 magnitude earthquake that sparked the chain of events that would ultimately damage Japan. During a national ceremony of remembrance, the emperor and Prime Minister said prayers for those who died on that day a year ago. The emperor believes that Japan will not forget the tragedy and emphasized the importance of human bonds in times of disaster.

virginity test

An army doctor in Egypt was acquitted after being accused of forcing a virginity test on a pro-democracy protester because of conflicting witness accounts. Protesters in Egypt have been fighting to overthrow the current rule of the military. For these people, the ruling severely hurt the prospect of convicting soldiers for abusing protesters, doing everything from running them over to beating them in the street. They believe that the military only looks out for its own personal interests and is shielding soldiers from justice.

suicide bomber

A suicidal bomber blew up a car near a Catholic church in the middle of Mass in Jos, Nigeria. At least 10 people were killed among the thousands lost in the last ten years due to religious violence. The church has been so plagued with violence that it now requires security. The security had stopped the suspicious car, and after an altercation, the bomber set off his explosives. The bomb’s blast damaged the church roof, blew out all windows, claimed ten lives and wounded many others. Nigerian officials have an idea of who may have been behind the attack; however, they are unsure of the person’s guilt at this time.

fueling the fire

From the moment that Obama stepped into office, a growing call to pull our troops out of the Middle East has been mounting. The recent killings of 16 Afghani civilians, including nine children has only added fuel to this fire. According to the allegations by Afghan authorities, a 38-year-old U.S. soldier sneaked into the village of Kandahar while the villagers were sleeping and opened fire in many of the homes. President Obama quickly called Afghan president Karzai, promising a complete investigation and appropriate punishment for anyone who is found to be involved. The massacre comes shortly after an incident where several copies of the Koran were “inadvertently” burned.

chavez’s cancer

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is recovering well from his third surgery to remove cancer from his pelvic region. Chavez announced during a two-hour televised address in Havana that he would be undergoing radiation therapy for the condition in Cuba but expects to make a full recovery in time for the elections. During the healing process, Chavez has kept his spirits high with a little light reading including one work by Marxist philosopher Istvan Meszaros.

15 march 2012

www.uwa.edu/muse

nelson’s wrestling ramble v: world championship wrestling part 2 nelson sims

Last week, we examined the rise of WCW as legitimate competition for the WWF in the mid-nineties. Eric Bischoff’s ascension to power in the Turner-owned promotion signified a huge turning point, not only for WCW, but for pro-wrestling as well. After a huge boom in the 80s, interest in wrestling was at an all-time low by the mid-nineties. Attendance and viewership were steadily decreasing, and it seemed that the industry would never again see the sell-outs and ratings records of yesteryear. While Vince McMahon was struggling to find a Hulk Hogan stand-in, Eric Bischoff was tampering with McMahon’s formula for success in order to make it viable to an older, more mature audience. Bischoff was able to sign workers who McMahon felt were past their prime and no longer capable of bringing in huge audiences. Then he was able to take some of McMahon’s more successful storylines for these wrestlers and modernize them. Hulk Hogan rose to fame battling Andre the Giant in the WWF. In the WCW, Hulk Hogan would be forced to contend with the 7’4”, 500-pound “son of Andre” Paul “The Giant” Wight. Wrestling audiences followed the romance between Randy “Macho Man” Savage and Miss Elizabeth on WWF television all the way into the early nineties when the couple staged a spectacular on-air wedding as a part of WWF’s 1991 Summerslam payper-view extravaganza. In WCW, the relationship took a much darker turn when Elizabeth revealed herself to be a two-timing gold-digger who had gained the majority of Savage’s money in a divorce and was now out to sabotage his wrestling career by teaming with his hated rival, Ric Flair. Fans who remembered these characters and their storylines from watching WWF in their childhoods could now follow the same characters with more age appropriate stories. The WCW did much more than find a hugely lucrative way to get use out of aging wrestling legends, however. With their weekly live program, WCW Monday Nitro, the company totally changed the way pro-wrestling was done in America. Prior to Nitro, weekly wrestling was largely made up of “jobber matches,” or matches where an established star takes on an unknown wrestler. The unknown, or “jobber,” usually gets in little to no offense, and the matches usually go no longer than five-minutes. Nitro broke this mold immediately by offering big, marquee-level matches that fans wanted to see. The debut episode of Nitro featured the company’s biggest homegrown talent, Sting, taking on his longtime-rival Ric Flair on free television. This practice was entirely unthinkable before WCW tried it. Giving away matches that people were willing to pay to watch was seen as a poor business. The WCW’s goal wasn’t to sell pay-per-view buys, however; it was to maximize their product awareness. By featuring their top stars competing against one another, WCW was able to bring in viewers who otherwise would have never bothered. When faced with the choice between watching Hulk Hogan take on Lex Luger for the WCW Championship on Nitro or Shawn Michaels working a three-minute exhibition against The Brooklyn Brawler on Raw, wrestling fans made the obvious decision and soon become devoted followers of WCW. The rise of WCW started the feverish pace the wrestling business today. The New World Order angle brought thousands of former wrestling fans back into the fold. The problem for Vince McMahon was the ratings were clearly showing that these fans were, if anything, only checking out WWF programming during Nitro’s commercial breaks. Vince had to do something, and so a weekly edition of “can you top this” began to ensue from both companies and they battled for ratings. Things that had never been in wrestling in any form were being done on a weekly basis in order to create enough interest to cause a sea of wrestling fans to switch channels. For

the first time ever, wrestling began to acknowledge its staged nature as numerous wrestlers would “break from the script” in a (totally scripted) effort to create controversy and bring viewers over. Prior to the ratings war, World Champions enjoyed reins that seldom went under six-months. In an effort to keep things exciting, World Titles suddenly began changing hands with increasing frequency to keep things exciting. Wrestlers such as Kane, the storyline “little brother” of The Undertaker, won championships on Sunday evening at pay-per-views only to lose them less than 24-hours later live on Monday Night Raw. Feuds, which often stretched out for extended periods of time and produced numerous matches, were now being compacted into month long storylines in order to keep television fresh. In addition to changing the way wrestling was handled, WCW also changed the way wrestling was performed during their meteoric rise to the top. By featuring performers from around the world, WCW introduced audiences to numerous wrestling styles and wrestling match-types that they had never seen before. Performers exchanged increasingly mind-boggling moves that required the type of athleticism that many of their predecessors simply did not possess. Mainstream wrestling fans had never seen someone execute a moonsault (a backflip body splash type maneuver) to the outside of the ring through a wooden table until Sabu, a legendary madman with a massive cult following, executed the move on Alex Wright during an edition of WCW Nitro. Wrestling matches were once very slow, methodical affairs. WCW introduced a wild, unpredictable and fast-paced element to matches that fans not only ate up, but eventually came to demand. Today, WCW isn’t remembered as the innovators they were. WWE grudgingly features them from time-to-time, but they certainly don’t talk about the days when it seemed like WCW’s rise would cause Vince McMahon to go crawling to Ted Turner for employment. WWE seems to relish in any opportunity they get to paint WCW in a bad light. Following their purchase of the company in 2001, Vince McMahon quickly threw together a “WCW Invasion” storyline that stretched out for several months of WWE programming. This storyline’s sole intention was seemingly to make WCW look bad. WCW wrestlers who had signed with the WWE found themselves on the receiving end of almost nothing but losses against their former competition. The entire thing reeked of sour-grapes on the part of McMahon, a way of spitting on WCW’s grave, a way of celebrating the fact that he finally put the company under. The only problem with WWE’s victory over WCW is that WWE didn’t really beat WCW. After presenting one of the hottest angles pro-wrestling has ever seen in the nWo, WCW spent three years undoing all of their good fortune. A burned-out Eric Bischoff was replaced with Vince Russo, the “creative genius” behind WWE’s newfound adult-oriented television. Russo’s vision for WCW resulted in some of the most nonsensical and embarrassing wrestling television of all time. Russo is the mastermind behind the all-too memorable night that David Arquette became the WCW World Heavyweight Champion. In less than three years, WCW went from being the biggest wrestling company in the world to completely defunct, a fate that many in the company felt wasn’t even possible underneath the protective umbrella of Turner. What happened to cause such an innovative and financially strong company to become a literal moneypit? What gave Vince McMahon the opportunity to riseup as the only game in town? It would require a lengthy novel to chronicle everything that WCW got wrong, but read muse next week and find out about the really, really stupid moves they made.


www.uwa.edu/muse

15 march 2012

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

lep in the hood, up to no good nelson sims

St. Patrick’s day is a time when all things Irish are remembered and celebrated. It is only fitting, then, for people seeking a truly authentic St. Patrick’s Day celebration to park themselves directly in front of the nearest television and watch all six films in the indomitable “Leprechaun” series. Leprechauns trace their origins back to Irish folklore, where they were depicted as shoe-making imps who possessed the ability to grant humans fast enough to capture them three wishes. Although popularly depicted as being quite fond of children’s breakfast cereal, leprechauns are actually quite fond of the pots of gold that they store near the end of the rainbow. Leprechauns are mischievous creatures that have a special fondness for practical jokes. They are said to be neither wholly good nor wholly evil. Unfortunately, some Leprechauns, as the “Leprechaun” series teaches, are incredibly demented. Warwick Davis, the veteran dwarf actor who famously depicted the titular character in “Willow,” portrays the most vile, evil, and poetically-inclined Leprechaun to ever exist throughout all six films. Davis has stated that The Leprechaun and Willow are his two favorite roles, and it’s easy to see why upon viewing any of the films in the series. Davis’ job as The Leprechaun looks to consist almost solely of dropping rhyming one-liners while dispatching of unfortunate victims in a variety of creative, and grotesque, ways. While cutesy cartoon images of little green men are quite popular, Davis’ extensive Leprechaun makeup is anything but cute. He’s the very embodiment of evil: angry, short, capable of talking entirely in rhyme, and dressed from head to toe in green. The Leprechaun series is notable not only for a prolific actor such as Warwick Davis’ fondness for the character but also for being the film debut of Jennifer Aniston. Long before appearing as Rachel on “Friends,” Aniston was forced to dispatch the villainous Leprechaun in the first film of the series. 1993’s “Leprechaun” became a cult-classic, thanks largely to how entertaining Davis managed to be, despite an absurdly laughable concept for a horror film. While “Leprechaun 2” and “Leprechaun 3” were basically run-of-the-mill horror sequels, by the time filmmakers came to the fourth installment of the franchise, they decided to focus their efforts entirely on playing up the laughs. The Leprechaun is sent to outer space, always a guaranteed formula for success in the horror genre, where he takes on a crew of, you guessed it, space marines. By the

time “Leprechaun 4: In Space” reaches its heart-pounding conclusion, The Leprechaun has been exposed to an enlargement ray and has grown to gigantic proportions. Then he is reduced to nothing more than middle-fingerwielding hand when he is sucked from the spaceship and left in open space. This exact same formula, ripped off from “Alien,” was famously copied and redone for Jason Voorhee’s own outer space excursion in “Jason X.” Perhaps the best part about the “Leprechaun” franchise is that it doesn’t stop with space. Usually, when a horror series ventures off to space, the next film totally ignores everything about the trip and makes an attempt to get back to the basics of the franchise. This is only partially true in the case of “Leprechaun.” The next film does totally ignore everything about the miniature terror’s trip to man’s final frontier, but it certainly does not go back to the “basics” of the series. Instead, filmmakers and writers decided that the only thing left for The Leprechaun to conquer was the hood. Released in 2000, “Leprechaun: In the Hood” manages to pit famed rapper and popular television actor Ice-T against The Leprechaun in a gripping tale of inner-city struggle and survival. Ice-T portrays Mack Daddy O’Nassas, a ruthless crime lord and part time rap producer whose insurmountable greed brings him to the attention of The Leprechaun. In addition to featuring one of the funniest fight scenes ever shown in its opening, the film also offers the hilarious Warwick Davis rap song, “Lep in the Hood.” The sixth film of the series was originally going to be set on a tropical island in the midst of Spring Break. This concept sounds like a sure-fire success, but due its cult popularity, executives insisted that the sequel retain the prior film’s setting. “Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood” was released direct-to-video in 2003. Six years after its release, “Entertainment Weekly” named the little-known movie the third worst sequel of all time and stated that “if any movie could spark a race riot, this is it.” These accolades alone make this entry a must see, but unfortunately, it retains none of the charm or the humor of its predecessor. It is hard to match the brilliance of Warwick Davis being subdued by a marijuana joint laced with four leaf clovers. The “Leprechaun” saga spans the centuries. It’s the twisted tale of an evil creature driven mad by its obsession with gold. A cautionary tale about greed, perhaps? A reflection, or even a mourning of, today’s society? Most certainly. Fine film-making? It rarely gets any better. Watch these movies, or else you’re celebrating St. Patrick’s Day wrong.

national news

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mary schellhammer

100 years of cookies

The Girl Scouts are celebrating their 100th birthday this year commemorating the beginning of the U.S. Girl Scout movement by Juliette Gordon Low in Savannah, Ga. Despite living only 15 years after the beginning of the movement, Low saw her organization surpass 168,000 members before her death in 1927. The Girl Scouts, who are most famous for their delicious annual cookie sales, first sold homemade sugar cookies in 1936. Then in 1993 the national organization stepped in and began producing chocolate and vanilla cookies. Today’s consumers can pick from up to eight of the 11 varieties the organization produces, depending on what their district carries. Over the years, the organization has discontinued 26 flavors.

crooks on the loose

Despite a valiant effort by Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood to suppress the pardons of 10 of the 200 inmates who were pardoned by former Governor Haley Barbour in January, the state Supreme Court upheld Barbour’s right to set the prisoners free. Hood is now working with lawmakers to create stricter guidelines for future governors who wish to pardon prisoners.

hotest apple accessory Before there was Ooma there was WALT. WALT, which stands for Wizzy Active Lifestyle Telephone, boasted an address book, caller ID, FAX, a handwriting recognition system, a LCD touch-screen with stylus, personalized ring tones, and speakers, all of which were state-of-the-art when the gadget was introduced in 1993. The product never made it to the major market so only a few prototypes exist. One of these prototypes was sold on eBay on Sunday for $8,000.

his scarlet letter

“F,” the bold red letter that makes so many students cringe is affecting one Florida seventh grader more than most. The boy’s father is making the socalled “class clown” stand on a busy street corner with a two sided full body sign which solicits honks from passing motorists if they believe that three F’s in one semester is bad.

third time’s a charm?

French actor Oliver Martinez announced this week that he is, in fact, engaged to actress Halle Berry. This will be the third marriage for the actress who has yet to set the date for her marriage to the first-time French groom. The couple met while working together on the set of “Dark Tide,” which is scheduled to be released later this month.

working in the coal mines Mining, which is easily on the top 10 list of most

dangerous occupations, has claimed another life in West Virginia. A worker in a mine owned by Alpha Natural Resources Inc. suffered fatal injuries in one of the mines this weekend. Alpha is the company notorious for the disaster in 2010 that killed 29 miners and was the worst U.S. mining disaster in 40 years.

santorum at weidmann’s

Among the long list of stops presidential hopeful candidate Rick Santorum has made was a stop at Meridian, Mississippi’s own Weidmann’s Restaurant on Sunday. Santorum focused on traits that would make him an ideal candidate to represent the southern states.


a “pearlfect” week 8

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

15 march 2012

www.uwa.edu/muse

la house

Coleman, and Latrell Arrington received much praise when they performed a poem for the viewers. DeAundray Jordan, the community favorite singer, performed a song that got the crowded more enthusiastic about the show. The highlight of the show was when the AKA’s did Greek call. The Omega Psi Phi started off with their party hop. The Kappa Alpha Psi shimmied around next in line. The Alpha Phi Alpha ended the fraternity call by beating

house | muse

The Alpha Kappa Alpha kicked off their “Pearlfect Week” March 4-8, 2012. On Sunday, the ladies enjoyed church at New Prospect Baptist Church, with the message of the evening being brought by Rev. Antwon Plott. On Monday, the AKA’s gave away useful information and sweets in front of the cafeteria to celebrate their Sweet Truth. On Tuesday, the ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha had their annual Fashion Show. Hosted by two AKA members, Kendra Trotter and Kim Goggin, the show could not go wrong. Several sororities and fraternities participated in the show. Shay Clayton represented Zeta Phi Beta, Jade Steward and Teia Lee represented Delta Sigma Theta, and Javon Payne and Adonis Bozeman represented the Kappa Alpha Psi. Students from all over campus also participated in the show. Amber Baskin and Kashi McCoy are a few of the students who blessed the audience with their unique ways of dressing. However, the fashion show had much more than just fashion Tuesday night. PJ Turner, Verdie

their chests seductively. The ladies of Delta Sigma Theta started off the sororities’ call with “Back That Thing Up.” The ladies of Zeta Phi Beta were next in line with their stroll. Last, but not least, the ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha ended the sorority call with their intriguing stroll. The last act of the show was when the winners were crowned. Monique Brown and Javon Payne were the winners of the 2012 AKA Fashion Show. On Wednesday, the student body came out and supported the AKA’s as they watched a movie together. On Thursday, the AKA’s hosted a Game Show in Wallace Hall. The show consisted of two males and females playing the dating game. Three contestants competed against each other for one date. The game was filled with silly answers and a lot of laughter. Omega Psi Phi’s very own Jarod Smith participated in the show and gained a date with Alpha Kappa Alpha’s Jasmine Hardy. On Friday, the final event of the week was Think Pink-Go Green. The ladies went around the wet campus picking up trash and recycling.

tweet all about it @UWAmuse

Livingston Animal Clinic hip tato c o p 1 at... Just und c o p 0 for a 1

...is th e of 1/2 caloric eui v of a h ambu alent 1/2 of r ger or a a pers chocolate bar fo on. r

200 North Industrial Park Road * Livingston, AL 35470 Please Call for Appointments > (205) 652-9372

adopt a

classroom liz stainton

On the morning of Monday, Jan. 23, tornadoes swept through central Alabama, leaving Central Point Elementary School, just northeast of Birmingham, Ala., severely damaged. Ron Boone, a social worker from Central Point/ Erwin schools, started the Adopt-a-Classroom program. This program pairs businesses, organizations, and individuals to help with specific classrooms. The BBY of the University of West Alabama is participating by adopting the classroom of Pamela Poole. Ms. Poole is a kindergarten teacher who has worked with BBY consultants throughout the years. Poole lost all of her possessions during the storm including many BBY publications and UWA products. BBY is already replacing the items she lost from them and is asking for money to replace the remainder of her items. BBY is housed through the Division of Educational Outreach, and it provides math professional development. Professional Development Coordinator Chasity Taylor said, “While conducting workshops across the country, BBY consultants have been sharing the Central Point story. As a result, many items have already began ariving.” To assist this teacher and Center Point Elementary School, contact Taylor at 205-652-5495. Checks should be made payable to Educational Outreach at UWA and can be mailed to UWA Station 45 Livingston, AL 35470. Donations will be accepted through March 9.

tree campus usa liz stainton

On March 1, the Arbor Day Foundation named the University of West Alabama a 2011 Tree Campus USA in honor of its commitment to effective community forestry management. In the first year the University of West Alabama has been honored with this award, UWA had to meet five core standards: a tree advisory committee, a tree care plan, dedicated annual expenditures for its program, and Arbor Day observance and the sponsorship of student service-learning projects. “Students throughout the country are passionate about sustainability and community improvement, which makes University of West Alabama’s emphasis on wellmaintained and healthy trees so important,” said John Rosenow, chief executive of the Arbor Day Foundation. Tree Campus USA is a program that was

launched in 2008 by the Arbor Day Foundation to honor colleges and universities and their leaders for promoting healthy trees and engaging students and staff in the spirit of conservation. Rosenow also said, “By achieving Tree Campus USA recognition, The University of West Alabama will continue to set an example for other colleges and universities and give students a chance to give back to both their campus community and the community atlarge.” The Tree Campus USA program is funded by a grant from Toyota. During 2011, the Arbor Day Foundation and Toyota helped schools plant over 30,000 trees on college and university campuses. They have also invested more than $22 million in effort to help maintain campus forest management.


six, love tiger golf www.uwa.edu/muse

15 march 2012

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

9

dymond hannon

liz stainton

The University of West Alabama Women’s tennis team played the University of West Georgia on Tuesday, March 6. Coach Glen Fanelli led the ladies to a 9-0 win over the west Georgia wolves. During the start of the day, the lady Tigers took a strong lead when Jill Furlong and Lisa Becker picked up an 8 to 1 victory. UWA only needed two wins to take the match for the day but ended winning on all six courts. Natalia Cardenas took a 6 -2, 6-1 win at the top court. Angy Cuellar added a 6-0, 6-0 win in the second spot. Dasha Popova made a 6-1, 6-0 win, followed by UWA’s Emily Gerding’s 6-1, 6-0 defeat over her opponent. In the last game of the day, Courtney McDonald made a 6-0, 6-0 win, and Jennifer Collin made her first win of the season, pulling a 6-3, 1-6 win. On Friday, March 9, the University of West Alabama women’s tennis team played the University of West Florida. UWA’s Lisa Becker pulled a win in singles with 6-2, 6-3 over her Argo opponent. The Tigers ended the day trailing the Argos 8-1.

crayola-me-happy

The University of West Alabama Athletics Department will be taking part in the UWA Tiger Club Golf Tournament that will be held at the Dancing Rabbit Golf Club in Philadelphia, Miss. The proceeds of this event will go toward the improvement of athletic facilities on campus. The game is a 4-person scramble that will begin with a complimentary lunch at 11:30 a.m. and tee-off at 1 p.m. The entry fee is $150 and includes the cost of green and cart fees, lunch, drinks on the course, use of a practice range, prizes, and gifts for participating. In order to register for this event, please print the form on the UWA Athletics website: www.uwaathletics.com, fill out the registration form

and mail it along with the payment, to UWA Athletics, Station #5, Livingston, AL 35470. Also, a number of hole sponsorships are available for $150 per hole. Individuals or businesses interested in becoming a sponsor for the event should contact Stan Williamson, Director of Athletics, at 205-652-3784 for more information.

There’s nothing like a little creative spark in your wardrobe, and nothing like a little originality, either. But, with textbooks and end-of-the-semester projects coming up, who has the money to “spiff” up a wardrobe? With the easy five-step t-shirt tutorial, a creative and original t-shirt is only $5 away! Impress people with a little school pride, or teach a niece or nephew and have them entertained for hours.

Needed items include the following: Crayons White t-shirt Iron Step 1: Color a design Fine Sandpaper on the sandpaper. Go over your design at least Cardboard three times, making sure Parchment paper that the crayon design is heavily covered.

Step 2: Place the cardboard cutout on the inside of the shirt. Step 3: Place the sandpaper on the shirt (colored side down) where you want the design.

stainton | muse

Step 4: Put parchment paper on top of the sandpaper and iron it for 30 seconds. Step 5: Peel the sandpaper away, and there you have your own personal, creative t-shirt design. Inspired by Pinterest. com; tutorial found at http://alphamom.com/ family-fun/crafts/sandpaper-printed-t-shirt/

BIBB GRAVES AUDITORIUM MARCH 14-17 7:30 PM


Demopolis, Alabama

48 oz. Bottle Canola or Vegetable

5

2/$

2

suBstitute an item of eQual value oR pRovide a Raincheck upon ReQuest.

Crisco Cut Fresh Daily for muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought 15 march 2012 Cooking Oil Wednesday, March 14 through Tuesday, March 20, 2012 in Store! Prices Good

10

48 oz. Bottle Canola or Vegetable

5

2/$

2.8 - 3 oz. Selected Varieties

Crisco $ 29 2Cooking Oil

Hormel Bacon Bits

2.8 - 3 oz. Selected Varieties

Hormel Bacon Bits

4.3 - 6.9 oz. Selected Varieties

Rice-A-Roni or Pasta Roni

229

99

2/$

625 Hwy 80 East

Crisco Cooking Oil 2.8 - 3 oz. Selected Varieties

Hormel Bacon Bits

Kraft Salad Dressing

¢

for

Crisco Cooking Oil

2

4

2/$

45

2/$ for

12.64 - 14.34 oz. Selected Varieties

Tony’s Pizza

3/$ for

4

2/$

2.8 - 3 oz. Selected Varieties

Hormel Bacon Bits

$

4

99

¢

48 oz. Bottle Canola or Vegetable

Crisco for Cooking Oil for 24 oz. Loaf Sara Lee Iron Hormel Kids Bacon Bits Bread $ 29 2 Limit 2 Bags Please!

2/$

64 oz. Selected Varieties

Tampico Punch

5 Golden Bake Hamburger Buns

2.8 - 3 oz. Selected Varieties

Lipton Tea Bags

Dressing

LB.

8 ct. for Black Canyon Angus Select Hot Dog or

Golden Bake Family Pack, Fresh Boneless Hamburger Buns USDA Inspected ¢ Bake Chuck Steak Golden 99 Boneless Skinless Hamburger Buns Fryer Breast 99¢ 8 ct. Hot Dog or

99 $$ 97 99 97 3/$ 99 Sara Lee Iron $ 3/$2/$ Kraft 99 Sara Lee2/$ Iron $ KidsSalad Bread 5 Kids Bread $ 99 Dressing 1 4 11 8 ct. Hot Dog or

14-16 oz. Selected Varieties

4 1 ¢ 3/$ 5 2/$ $ 00

99

QUANITY RIGHTS RESERVED. NO SALES TO DEALERS SOME ITEMS MAY NOT BE AVAILABLE AT ALL STORES. NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR TYPOGRAPHICAL OR PICTORIAL ERRORS. PRICES GOOD WHILE QUANTITIES LAST.

12.64 - 14.34 oz. Selected Varieties

Tony’s Pizza

24 ct. Family Size

Lipton Tea Bags

4

2/$

for

8 ct. Hot Dog or

Golden Bake

Fryer Breast LB.

Western Style Pork Ribs

Carolina Pride

Whole SmokedCarolina Pride Whole Smoked Picnic Hams Picnic Hams

12 Pack, 12 oz. Cans Selected Varieties

Coke Coke Products LB.

12.64 - 14.34 oz.

24 oz. Loaf Cut Fresh Daily 14-16 oz.Selected Varieties 24 oz.in Store! Loaf Tony’s Selected Varieties

Pizza

LB.

Family Pack Lean & Tender, US Inspected

12 Pack, 12 oz. Cans Selected Varieties

Coke for Products Lipton

24 ct. Family Size

3/$

Tea Bags

3/$ 3/$

15 - 16 oz. pkg. Selected Varieties

$177

for

for

LB.

15 - 16 oz. pkg. Selected Varieties

15 - 16 oz. pkg.

Saltine Crackers

2/$ 2/$ Carolina Pride

Products

Western Style Zesta or Krispy Pork Ribs Saltine Crackers 2/$

for

LB.

Selected Varieties Zesta or Krispy LB. Zesta or Krispy Saltine Crackers

12 Pack, 12 oz. Cans Selected Varieties

LB.

LB.

for

for

Family Pack, Fresh USDA Inspected

Whole SkinlessSmoked Natural Light Picnic Hams Natural Light Fryer Breast 55 Boneless Skinless BestChoice Choice Best or Ice, Busch 4/$ $ 49 ¢ or Ice, Busch Tampico Whole Smoked DrinkingWater Water 16 Picnic Hams11 Fryer orBreast Drinking Punch Busch Light or Busch Light $ $ 0000 4/$ Medium Yellow 4/$ Medium Yellow $ 49 $ 49 3/$ ¢ Tony’s 1.5 liter Bottles

Kraft Salad for 3 lb. Bag Dressing Medium Yellow Onions

Boneless Skinless USDA Inspected Family Pack Fryer Breast Boneless Skinless Lean & Tender, US Inspected

Cut Fresh LB. Daily in Store!

Carolina Pride

Cut Fresh Daily in Store!

LB.

Family Pack, Fresh

Former Food World Location • 334-287-3292 •

¢ $229 ¢

4.3 - 6.9 oz. Selected Varieties

Family Pack Lean & Tender, US Inspected

LB.

¢ 2/$ ¢¢

LB.

Western StyleUSDA Inspected Pork RibsFamily Pack, FreshLB.

Family Owned & Operated • GOOD Over 65 YearsQUANTITIES in Business LAST. IF WE CAL OROpen PICTORIAL ERRORS. PRICES WHILE Sunday 6 AM-9PM, Monday - Saturday 6 AM-10PM RUN OUT OF A Selected SALE ITEMVarieties WE WILL SUBSTITUTE AN ITEM OF EQUAL VALUE 14-16 oz. OR PROVIDE A RAINCHECK UPON Prices Good Wednesday, March 14REQUEST. through Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Hormel Bacon Bits

4

2/$

24 ct. Family Size

29

LB.

Quanity Rights ReseRved. no sales to dealeRs. some items may not Be availaBle at all stoRes. not ResponsiBle foR typogRaphical oR pictoRial eRRoRs. pRices good while Quantities last. if we Run out of a sale item we will suBstitute an item of eQual value oR pRovide a Raincheck upon ReQuest.

2.8 - 3 oz. Selected Varieties

Rice-A-Roni or 64 oz. SelectedRoni Varieties Pasta Tampico Punch

Cut Fresh Daily in Store!

77

Tampico Crisco Punch Selected Varieties Tampico for CookingKraft Oil Salad 2/$ Family Pack Punch

Lipton Tea Bags

Tony’s Pizza

for

Boneless Picnic Hams

Pork Ribs

2S H M A 64 E oz. Whole FR R KSmoked ET Selected Varieties 625 Hwy 80 East Picnic Hams 48 oz. Bottle QUANTITY RIGHTS RESERVED. NO SALES TO DEALERS. SOME ITEMS MAY Demopolis, Alabama NOT BE AT64 ALLoz. STORES. NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR TYPOGRAPHICanola orAVAILABLE Vegetable

24 ct. Family Size

12.64 - 14.34 oz. Selected Varieties

24 ct. Family Size

$ 2/$ for

4 Crisco Lipton Cooking Oil Tea Bags

2/$

for

Chuck Steak $ 97 ¢ Western Style2

Pork Ribs

Lipton 48 oz. Bottle Canola or Vegetable Tea Bags

29

Kraft Salad Dressing

LB.

Family Pack

Pizza

24 ct. Family Size

CarolinaPack Pride Cut Fresh LB. Boneless Family Picnic Hams Daily CanyonSmoked Angus Select Steak in Store! Chuck Black Whole

Family Pack Lean & Tender, US Inspected

12.64 - 14.34 oz. Lean & Tender, US Inspected Selected VarietiesforWestern Style

for

Whole Smoked

Black Canyon Angus Select

97 5 ¢ 99 5 97 $ 97 15 $ 77 2 1 $177 99 97 54 $$197 97 99 1 $ 77 21 1 ¢ ¢ 97 44 1415 9711 11 2

Cut Fresh Daily in Store!

Selected Varieties 4.3 - 6.9 oz. Cut Fresh Daily Selected Varieties in Store!

Hormel Bacon Bits

14-16 oz. Selected Varieties

Kraft Salad Dressing

Boneless Chuck Steak

Rice-A-Roni or Pasta Roni 12.64 - 14.34 oz.

2.8 - 3 oz. Selected Varieties

$

Daily in Store!

Family Pack Black Canyon Angus Select for

4.3 - 6.9 oz. Selected Varieties

5

48 oz. Bottle Canola or Vegetable

29

14-16 oz. Selected Varieties

Prices Good Wednesday, March 14 Family through Cut Fresh PackTuesday, March 20, 2012

¢ 99 $ 97 99 3/$ 2/$ Rice-A-Roni Tony’s ¢ Pizzaor 2/$ 5 Pasta RoniTony’s 3/$

2

$

Former Food World Location • 334-287-3292 • Family Owned & Operated • Over 65 Years in Business Open Sunday 6 AM-9PM, Monday - Saturday 6 AM-10PM

Quanity Rights ReseRved. no sales to dealeRs. some items may not Be availaBle at all stoRes. not ResponsiBle foR typogRaphical oR pictoRial eRRoRs. pRices good while Quantities last. if we Run out of a sale item we will suBstitute an item of eQual value oR pRovide a Raincheck upon ReQuest.

Former Food World Location • 334-287-3292 • Family Owned & Operated • Over 65 Years in Business Open Sunday 6 AM-9PM, Monday - Saturday 6 AM-10PM

Selected Varieties

4.3 - 6.9 oz. Selected Varieties

typogRaphical oR pictoRial eRRoRs. pRices good while Quantities last. if we Run out of a sale item we will suBstitute an item of eQual value oR pRovide a Raincheck upon ReQuest.

Former Food World Location • 334-287-3292 • Family Owned & Operated • Over 65 Years in Business Open Sunday 6 AM-9PM, Monday - Saturday 6 AM-10PM

Prices Good Wednesday, March 14 through Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Rice-A-Roni or Pasta Roni

2

Quanity Rights ReseRved. no sales to dealeRs. some items may not Be availaBle at all stoRes. not ResponsiBle foR typogRaphical oR pictoRial eRRoRs. Rights ReseRved. no sales to pRices good while Quantities last. ifQuanity we Run out of a sale item we will dealeRs. some items may not Be availsuBstitute an item of eQual value oR aBle at all stoRes. not ResponsiBle foR pRovide a Raincheck upon ReQuest.

Family Owned & Operated • Over 65 Years in Business Kraft SaladAlabama Demopolis, Prices Good Wednesday, March6AM-9PM, 14 through Tuesday, March 20, 2012 LB. Open Sunday Monday-Saturday 6AM-10PM for Dressing 14-16 oz. Good Wednesday, March 14 through Tuesday, March Carolina20, Pride Prices 2012 Cut Fresh Daily in Store!

48 oz. Bottle Canola or Vegetable

4 2/$ $ 97 4

14-16 oz. Selected F RVarieties ESH MARKET

¢

$177

F Boneless R E S H M A R K E T LB. Demopolis, Alabama 625 80 East 625 HwyHwy 80 East Demopolis, Alabama Chuck Steak Demopolis, Alabama Former Food World Location • 334-287-3292 625 Hwy 80 East

$

$177 Western Style Pork Ribs

Family Pack Black Canyon Angus Select FRESH MARKET

Cut Fresh Daily in Store!

for

LB.

Western Style www.uwa.edu/muse Family Pack Pork Lean & Tender, USRibs Inspected

Former Food World Location • 334-287-3292 • Family Owned & Operated • Over 65 Years in Business Open Sunday 6 AM-9PM, Monday - Saturday 6 AM-10PM

Foxhorn Wines

579

$

for Limit 2/$ 4 2 Bags 30Limit Pack, 12 oz. Cans 2 Please! Bags

for

Natural Please! Light or Ice, Busch oz. or64Busch Light Selected Varieties

LB. 24 Pack 1/2 Liter

Best Choice Drinking Water

99

Carolina Pride

Double Manufacturer’s Coupons Everyday up to 50¢ see store for details 8 ct. Hot Dog or

Golden Bake Hamburger Buns

Onions Onions 99 LB. for Pizza QUANITY RIGHTS QUANITYRESERVED. RIGHTS RESERVED. TO DEALERS NO SALESNOTOSALES DEALERS ¢

ITEMSBEMAY NOT BE AVAILABLE AT ALLNOT STORES. NOT RESPONSIBLE SOME ITEMSSOME MAY NOT AVAILABLE AT ALL STORES. RESPONSIBLE FOR FOR Family Pack, Fresh

24 ct.

Foxhorn 1.5 liter Bottles Wines Foxhorn

$

Wines 79

$

79

151 $ 97 for

3 lb. Bag3 lb. Bag 12.64 - 14.34 oz. Selected Varieties

Family Pack, Fresh 30 Pack, 12 oz. Cans 30 Pack,Boneless 12 oz. Cans USDA Inspected

1.5 liter Bottles

TYPOGRAPHICAL OR PICTORIAL ERRORS.USDA PRICES Inspected GOOD WHILE QUANTITIES LAST.

97

24 Pack

241/2 PackLiter 1/2 Liter

$197 ¢11 11 16 16 97 LB.

12 Pack, 12 oz. Cans Selected Varieties

for for

LB.

Double 15Manufacturer’s Coupons - 16 oz. pkg. Double Manufacturer’s Coupons

LB.

Selected Varieties

Everyday Everydayup uptoto50¢ 50¢

Zesta Krispyfor details seeorstore


“sucky” actor www.uwa.edu/muse

elise keller

15 march 2012

Ryan Christian Kwanten, a native of Sydney, Australia, was born on Nov. 28 1976. The eldest of three brothers, Ryan became interested in triathlon, swimming, tennis, golf, surfing, snow skiing, and boxing before his acting career launched. Ryan received a degree in business at Sydney University before delving completely into his acting career. In 1991, at the age of 15, Ryan ventured with his mother to bring his younger brother to an acting audition. When his mother did not return some time later, Ryan entered the building himself and was pulled into auditioning, receiving the role. Ryan debuted on Australia’s “Home and Away” television series soon after. In his first major Hollywood experience, Ryan actually met Steven Spielberg by accidentally parking his bicycle in Steven’s parking spot. Known for his roles in “Summerland” in 2004, “Flicka” in 2006, and “Dead Silence” in 2007, Ryan received the Breakthrough Award in 2010 from AIF. He also won 2010 Man Of The Year in the Australian magazine “GQ.”

Ryan is a qualified yoga instructor as well as a talented writer; going on to publish a book entitled “The G Strategy.” Ryan currently lives in Los Angeles and can be currently appears in perhaps his most weel known role in the popular television drama “True Blood” on HBO. Ryan portrays Jason Stackhouse, the brother of Sookie Stackhouse, the lead female character. A care-free character who has distinguished himself as being quite the ladies man, Jason dwells in Louisiana’s small town of Bon Temps as the world conforms to the idea of relating to and befriending vampires. Jason is soon accused of killing four women, and his life turns topsy-turvy as evidence begins to pile up around him. After getting out of jail for a crime he didn’t commit, Jason joins a vampire-hating church, engages in a relationship with a werepanther, and remarkably lands a job as a deputy with the Bon Temps Sheriff’s Department. “True Blood” season five will premier June 24 at 9:00 p.m. on HBO.

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

11

youtube sensations

smosh

elise keller

Two YouTube celebrities known as “Smosh” began their Internet comedic adventures on newgrounds.com before making a YouTube video in 2005. In the first year, “Smosh” had over 4.3 million subscribers. “Smosh” was envisioned and created by Anthony Padilla and Ian Andrew Hecox, two best friends who met in sixth grade. Anthony, also known as “Tony Padilla,” “Pat Anthony,” or “A-Dizzle,” was born on Sept. 16, 1987. In several of his videos, he pokes fun of his Latino heritage and his love for rainbow lollipops. Addicted to Disney movies and yoga, Anthony is known as the intelligent and taller one of the two boys. Ian Andrew Hecox, also known as “H. I. Andrews,” “Ian Anderson,” “Ian the Blade,” or “I-Dog,” was born Nov. 30, 1987. He loves pink-frosted sprinkled donuts more than his dog, Sparky, and is the cause for several deaths in the YouTube videos. He is also known for his own YouTube channel called IanH. Several of “Smosh’s” videos have over 10,000,000 views, but the most noted are “Beef ‘n Go,” with 90,265,455 views,

and “HARRY POTTER DELETED SCENES,” with 35,817,128 views. “Beef ‘n Go,” a commercial-like skit, tries to sell a tube of beef. Anthony, played by Anthony, found it difficult to be on the go and simultaneously eat his favorite meat. So, “Beef ‘n Go” was created, an easy and quick way to eat meat on the go. The video claims that “Beef ‘n Go” is known to attract the opposite sex and used by names such as Barack Obama, Tom Cruise, and Brittney Spears. “HARRY POTTER DELETED SCENES” is a hilarious skit about what “Smosh” believes to be the deleted scenes, or shouldbe scenes from “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows” movies. Both Harry and Ron have slightly inappropriate daydreams about Hermione stripping. Neville Longbottom dies by drinking bleach and hair. Dumbledore has a day-dream where Harry and Ron are stripping, and Snape conjures up a talking Orange. “Smosh” uploads a new video every Friday on their YouTube Channel here: http://www.youtube.com/user/ smosh?ob=4 or their online Web site: http://www.smosh.com/

WE SELL ALL MAJOR BRAND OILS

Oil Change, Tires, and Brakes Chris or Doug Schmidt Ph. 205-652-7770

1124 N. Washington Livingston, Alabama 35470

Serving the best breakfast and lunch in west Alabama from 7:00-11:00 a.m. with lunch available all day.

Come on over if you missed breakfast at the CAF or just want a freshly made hot breakfast.

UWA and UWA’s Demopolis Higher Education Center, in partnership with RockTenn, offer a range of academic, workforce technology, continuing education, and graduate programs.

Tiger Bucks accepted. (205) 652-2743 · across from UWA


good for the soul 12

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

15 march 2012

www.uwa.edu/muse

mary schellhammer

use

er | m

schell hamm

"On average, we eat just 42 percent of the recommended daily intake of fruit. Eighty-two percent of food deserts are in urban areas with no grocery store in sight. If eating trends continue, three out of four Americans will be overweight or obese by 2020." (Kashi)

Facts and figures like these are some of the reasons so many Americans are choosing healthier alternatives for traditional snacks each year, such as Kashi seven whole grain cereal snacks. During the last two months, people who “liked” Kashi’s real foods also went on Facebook to like the REAL project, which donated $75,000 at $10 a “like” to support Kids in the Kitchen program in 30 communities throughout the U.S. While Kashi has already reached their projected goal of $75,000 you can still help. One organization that Kashi works closely with is HealthCorps, which targets childhood obesity by trying to teach children how to encourage their families to eat healthier and become more active. HealthCorps uses several methods of soliciting donations, including mobile giving, which allows donors to simply send a text from their cell phones and a $10 donation will be added to their bills. For more information, visit www.healthcorps.org. Another program Kashi is working with is Recyclebank. Kashi offers its customers up to 75 free points just for joining now through June 30. For more information about how Kashi is working with the Recyclebank project, visit http://www.kashi.com/events/ recyclebank. If all of this is not enough of an incentive to eat healthier and set a good example, Kashi also offers a money back guarantee and coupons from their Web site and their Facebook page.

the luck of the irish in a glass cory sly

205-652-5490

s for Visit u fee, hot cof ks, & drin chille d as tries! Fresh p Mon-Thurs 7:30am - 10:00pm Friday 7:30am - 4:00pm Sunday 5:00pm - 10:00pm

UWAdining.com

stainton | muse

Inside

Julia Tutwiler Library

When most people think of St. Patrick’s Day, they immediately think of beer, and what better way to celebrate the holiday than with a nice, creamy Guinness draught? Although some bars throughout America have adopted the idea of adding green food coloring to cheap American lagers and trying to pass them off as traditional St. Patrick’s Day beverages, they are anything but and would make any resident of Ireland or true beer lover cringe at the thought. With over 10 million pints of Guinness sold daily around the world, it seems like it would be a no-brainer for Guinness to be a St. Patrick’s Day essential. Guinness Stout has been a significant part of Irish history and culture for more than 250 years, dating back to 1759 when founder Arthur Guinness signed a 9,000 year lease on the St. James Gate brewery in Dublin, where he began brewing ales and porters. Since then, Guinness has gone on to be exported and sold in over 120 different countries and brewed in twenty-five. While most people who have never tried a Guinness draught associate it with being a heavy or strong beer due to its black opaque appearance, which is actually a deep ruby color when held up to a light, it is far from this claim. One twelve-ounce serving of Guinness draught boasts only 125 calories and 4.2 percent alcohol by volume. This is only 15 calories more than America’s favorite Bud Light and rings in at the exact same alcohol by volume as well. In addi-

tion to Guinness’ naturally being a light beer, it also retains a significantly higher amount of vitamins and minerals as opposed to most mass-produced American lagers. While Guinness is light in calories, it is also light on the palette as well, with a watery mouth feel that’s never too heavy or robust but always delicious enough to retain an excellent flavor from the fine roasted malts that give off subtle hints of chocolate and coffee. Guinness revolutionized the beer scene when it introduced its draught pub cans in 1988, containing their signature “widget,” which allowed for the cans to release nitrogen in the stout once they were opened, an element formerly only available in pubs, which gives the stout its famous cascading head effect that enriches it with a unique creaminess. In authentic Irish pubs, bartenders take special care in pouring a pint of Guinness by adhering to strict rules requiring the Guinness to be poured in a dry glass at a 45-degree angle in exactly 199.50 seconds, which entails a pause period to give the stout time to “rest” before finishing off with beautiful creamy head. So the next time you are celebrating St. Patrick’s Day and eating your corned beef and cabbage and someone brings you a pint of watered down green colored fizz water, opt for a Guinness instead and give everyone around you real Irish history lesson. You’ll be glad you did. After all, the old Guinness slogan says: “Guinness is good for you!”


the “i’m grown” factor www.uwa.edu/muse

15 march 2012

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

13

dymond hannon

seriously unnecessary purchases? It is okay; everyone does it. However it is time to start distinguishing unnecessary from necessary. Here is how it is done: those new shoes you wanted are on sale today, BUT your child needs school clothes. Trust me; I have seen people make the wrong choice. Did you find yourself going with the mature side of things, like avoiding drama and calmly proving a point? Congrats, you might be an adult yet. However, if you are doing too much yelling and letting Mother take care of all your business, then it is time to put the words “I’m grown” out of your vocabulary.

Oh my, a wild confrontation! What do you do: A. Start screaming your point over and over again or B. Calmly explain your point and why I disagree? While answer choice B would be the adult thing to do, many of us still find ourselves screaming to high blood pressure just to prove a point. It is time to tone it down a bit. All right, here we are at the end: money. Still making

campbell | muse

Everyone knows those people, who, when treated like the children they are, scream “I’m grown.” However, what makes them think that? There are a few factors people should consider before saying those words. First, the definition of grown is mature. Here is a hint: having sex, smoking, having children and going to the club DO NOT make you a grown-up. They just highlight that you like to do grown-up things. First, a job is an important factor to be considered a grown-up; how else did parents keep the bills paid and food on the table? Second, are the bills being paid? However, here is the real question: are you paying them on time? Is Mommy still waiting on you hand and foot? Is she still washing clothes and acting as an alarm clock? In order to be a grown-up, one must learn learn to separate those darks and whites and invest in an actual alarm clock that makes an annoying buzzing sound. Is there a lot of drama here, drama there, drama everywhere and are you still enjoying it? Spoiler alert: mature adults hate drama. It is just one more stress that they do not need. Real adults do not allow time for drama; they are typically too busy handling business. For example, did you know adults make their own doctor’s appointments and keep them?

to teach or not to teach deborah bonner

You find yourself daydreaming in your 1:25 class of 8 students, and your mind drifts to wondering about your teacher’s life outside of the classroom. You wonder what he was thinking when he grabbed that Dr. Pepper this morning. You think you could do a better job teaching than he can. This class is so boring; does he not see that everyone is falling asleep? Well, teaching is one job that many people have many misconceptions about, and for once, teachers are going to receive the credit they deserve. Teachers obtain a bachelor’s degree and often major in the subject they plan on teaching while completing a teacher’s preparation similar to a doctor’s clinical studies. Studies show that teachers who are given opportunities to experience teaching before they have their own classroom produce higher student achievement gains. A prospective teacher must also earn a license, and some states require a master’s degree in education within a specific period after they begin teaching. Teachers must be effective communicators and be able to inspire trust and confidence amongst their students. They should be organized, patient, and creative. Teachers should also be able to accommodate different learning styles, cultural backgrounds, and socioeconomic differences and cooperate with fellow faculty, parents, and the community in which they work. Some people believe that teachers have no way of

advancing in their line of work. Although the process is degree, earns about $36,144 a year, while the average strenuous and often extremely competitive, teachers experienced teacher earns $46,879. At the moment, the have some ways of increasing their position in the hiermarket is open for teachers who specialize in special archical educational system. An experienced teacher education, math, and science. While media often fomay become a supervisor or administrator. Another cuses on incompetent educators, teaching will continue option is to become a senior or mentor teacher at as long as people are willing to learn. higher pay but additional responsibilities. Such a position would require nurturing fledgling teachers who have just started while maintaining their own classroom. A final avenue for advancement is to teach at the postsecSumter Insurance Agencies, Inc. ondary level. Livingston, Al 205-652-9591 Of course, the salary of Town Name • 555-555-5555 Town Name • 555-555-5555 555-555-5555 a teacher in comparison wanda@sumterinsurance.com Town Name • Town Name • 555-555-5555 website Town Name • 555-555-5555 555-555-5555 to other strenuous jobs website Town Name • website website causes the vocation to website website land, in the grand class system of America, as borderline lower class to just below middle class. In Alabama, the beginning teacher, fresh from college with a bachelor’s

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book three: 14

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

chosen amber hallenbeck

In “Chosen,” the third installment of the “House of Night” series by P.C. and Kristin Cast, the plot thickens as vampyres begin to turn up dead - actually dead. One of the vampyre teachers is found against the wall of the school, blood everywhere, with a letter near her. The protagonist, Zoey Redbird, finds herself in the most awkward situation of having three boyfriends. There is also the bloodlust Zoey begins to feel, which normally doesn’t even affect fledglings. Throw it all into a bowl and mix it up, and what do you have?

A recipe for a disaster. Zoey’s best friend, Stevie Rae, did not survive the

Change - the act of going from fledgling to vampyre - and is now back from the dead. She is struggling with the side of her that tells her to feed and the side that is her humanity. It begins to feel like Zoey’s world is starting to crash and there is nothing she can do about it. Her best friend is fighting instinct; Zoey is fighting the instincts she wants so badly to give in to. When more vampyres begin to die, it seems that the People of Faith - the human religious group in town - are tired of living with vampyres. Then again, nothing is ever how it seems.

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15 march 2012

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apply yourself draw something mary schellhammer

With approximately a gazillion apps in the Apple app store and an increasingly large number of apps also becoming available in the Android market, trying to find the perfect app can be overwhelming. One popular app is Draw Something, which comes in two versions, the free version and the $0.99 version, which is ad free. Draw Something is a Pictionary-like game that allows users to play with friends or random users. Draw Something was created by OMGPOP, Inc., and has received five stars out of the 334,282 customer ratings so far. Draw Something is available for iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad. Facebook also offers a version of Draw Something. The more a user plays, the more coins he will earn toward purchasing more colors and more “bombs,” which make guessing what the doodles are that much easier. You don’t need to be Picasso to use this app. Rudimentary stick figures and comical attempts to draw the objects are welcome. HFS CU 9649-11586 (4.98x5.67)BW HR.pdf

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muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

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muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

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15 march 2012

alabama writers symposium

d ' anthony jackson

Social Networks such as Facebook and Twitter have recently become professional sites for many employers, employees, companies, and businesses. Therefore, managing your image on social networks has become more important, especially for college students seeking internships and jobs. When applying for jobs and internships, most people accept “Terms and Conditions” without actually reading the “Terms and Conditions.” These “Terms and Conditions” sometimes state permission to access information about employees through social networks. Managing your social network profiles appropriately is very important. Social network profiles contain enough information for employers to make judgments on a future employer’s character. Therefore, having appropriate material that relate to your personal life on social networks is very important because nothing is private on the Internet. Most social networks users think that because they set their profile to “private,” that only their friends are allowed to see it. However, this is not true. Many companies have access to viewing your private profile, and some have the ability to hack into your personal material such as messages. Using correct grammar and uploading appropriate pictures, appropriate videos, and appropriate statuses could be your next step to another job. Just remember, the Internet is a public place where everything lasts forever and nothing is private.

dymond hannon

The town of Monroeville, Ala., will be hosting the fifteenth annual Alabama Writers Symposium on April 26-28. The theme is “Write Out of Place,” which focuses on how where you are from plays a part in who you are and how authors from Alabama squeeze the state into the story, intentionally and unintentionally. One Alabama author who now lives in California said that she tried to write a story without Alabama in it but failed because the state seems to slip into the story without her knowledge. The registration deadline is Thursday, April 5, and the registration form can be found online at www.writerssymposium.org. Prices for tickets range from $155, for a comprehensive ticket, to free, for discussions only. The comprehensive ticket includes all the meals and events planned, excluding the production of “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Tickets for this perennial event are $35 and are limited to a first-come, first-serve basis. Throughout the three days, enjoy literary readings, book signings, luncheons, a historical walking tour, a picnic, and golf. For those interested in golf, games will be played on the first day of the three-day symposium. The registration fees for the golf tickets can be found on the registration form. For more information on the Alabama Writers Symposium, please contact Donna Reed at 251-575-8223 or email dreed@ascc.edu.

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15 march 2012

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

is truth absolute or relative? gabbie’s random thoughts shawn o ' neal

“It is absolutely true that there are no absolutes.” This statement clearly is contradictory; however, everyone who believes that truth is relative holds to the statement, whether he realizes it or not. People who deny the existence of absolute truth often proclaim, “Truth is relative.” When they make this assertion they are asserting an absolute truth. When they assert this absolute truth, they deny what they were originally arguing for: truth is relative. The frustrating part for the relativists is that in order to deny the existence of absolute truth, they have to assert an absolute truth, and when they assert an absolute truth, they show that there are absolute truths. They cannot deny it without asserting it. Moral absolutes have come under attack by many people. If absolute truths about morality exist, where do they come from? How do we know that it is morally wrong to murder an innocent person? How do we know that it is wrong to steal from people or lie to them? Obviously, it is wrong to murder an innocent person, and it is wrong to steal from people and lie to them, but what are the grounds for these truths? These truths are built into the hearts and minds of people. God created man in His image (Genesis 1:27). God is perfectly moral and always does right

(Genesis 18:25). God put morality in the hearts of man (Romans 2:15). For this reason, man knows what God wants him to do. Absolute truths exist in at least two areas: the logical area and the biblical area. A statement cannot be true and not true at the same time and in the same way because this goes against the law of non-contradiction; so to say, “it is absolutely true that there are no absolutes” is to contradict oneself. The Bible demonstrates that there are absolutes by the nature and character of God. Furthermore, the Bible tells us that God placed an absolute moral code in the hearts of people.

UWA Film Series Presents “I’m suggesting Mr. President Seven Days in May With aapresentation there’s militaryby plot Dr. Richard Schellhammer to takeMarch over the Thursday, 15 6:00 pm Wallace Hall Auditorium Government of Free Admission States Sponsored these by Phi AlphaUnited Theta, Sigma Tau Delta, UWA History Club next Sunday...”

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education

The benefits of education are priceless. However, education is not taken a seriously as it should be. Students at UWA find any excuse to skip class, or reasons as to why “this class isn’t important,” even though these same students are paying thousands every semester. Being a student teaches one how to process information correctly. Resiliency and tenacity are required to excel, and the same will be expected in the job force. Employees do not always love every part of their jobs, just as students may not enjoy every aspect of school. To be able to sit through almost two hours of a subject that could bore the man from the “Red Eyes” commercials shows more about an individual’s character than he or she realizes. Students show respect to the teachers and the institution when they accept the challenge to absorb any and all knowledge and training thrown their way. We should seek to learn something about everything, not just what is required! To learn is to grow, and to grow is to achieve. Anthony J. D’Angelo stated, “Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.”

Lifeguard First Aid and CPRO/AED Certification

Lifeguard Training Class

Pre-registration is required no later than 1 week before the first class meeting. To register or for more information contact Shonna Tatum at statum@uwa.edu Thursday, April 5, 4-8 p.m. Friday, April 6, 4-8 p.m. Saturday, April 7, 8a.m. - 5p.m. Sunday, April 8, 1p.m. - 5p.m.


muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

15 march 2012

St. Patrick spent four years in captivity in Ireland as a slave.

Vocabulary

1.2

!"# #%!&'( )*%#T(,'-

is

Power Rod and Tracie

Henson

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St. Patrick’s Day is always celebrated on March 17, commemorating the saint’s death date, not birth date.

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is the key to intelligence. Read to your children every night.

Knowledge

17

The odds of finding a fourleaf clover are 1 in 10,000.

& Jones

Old Ramsey Cattle Company Supports UWA

St. Patrick died in 461 AD.

0.001

Greg Jennifer

www.uwaalumni.com

461

by the numbers

Tau Kappa Epsilon

Tiger Connection

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luck of the irish

Willie Nelson Ronald Reagan Are TKE alumni Join the brotherhood

For 67 years from 19031970 St. Patrick’s day was recognized as a religious holiday in Ireland and therefore the pubs were closed on this day.

St. Patrick was born around 385 AD in Scotland likely under the name Kilpatrick

The four day festival requires a constant planning process as it takes 18 months to plan for each festival.

 

67

385

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The four day St. Patrick’s Day festival held annually in Dublin, Ireland boasted 1.2 million participants in 2001.

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With 34 million Americans boasting Irish ancestry, there are almost nine times as many Irish people in American as in Ireland, which only has a population of 3.2 million.

alumni spotlight

great tigers from the past mary schellhammer

Kathy Strickland attended the University of West Alabama during the institution’s name change from Livingston University from 1992 through 1996. While at UWA, Strickland received a B.S. in history and biology. She was also a sister in Alpha Sigma Tau, and a member in marching band, pep band, concert band and the Historical Society. Today, Strickland keeps herself very busy working as an emergency veterinarian and a veterinary legal consultant. Strickland is also the chapter advisor for the AST chapter at Armstrong Atlantic State University. While at UWA, Strickland not only gained an education, but she also found love when she met her husband Troy in marching band in 1992. The couple will celebrate their fifteenth anniversary in May. After graduating from UWA, Strickland went on to attend veterinary school and eventually moved back home to Savannah, Ga. Strickland said she loved her time at LU/UWA. The friends she met here were like family and she enjoys getting back to UWA to visit them as much as possible. “I received an excellent education that prepared me for anything I wanted to do and rivaled those of the larger schools’ graduates I encountered. I learned something from each of my professors, but Dr. Bowen and Dr. Schellhammer were the most influential on me both professionally and personally,” said Strickland.

submitted photo

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soap updates

www.uwa.edu/muse

THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL Aware of how badly Hope and Liam’s first encounter went, Bill tried to convince Steffy to hold off on signing the annulment papers. Hope asked Brooke not to tell anyone what she talked about in therapy. Ridge tried to talk Steffy out of leaving town as a way of coping with the end of her marriage. Hope and Liam tried once again to capture the elusive magic between them. Liam felt guilty for driving Steffy away because she was too heartbroken to be around him. Taylor and Brooke once again bickered over which of their daughters held the key to Liam’s heart. Wait to See: Hope reveals why she has a problem with intimacy. Bill faces a public-relations crisis. DAYS OF OUR LIVES Billie informed Hope that Bo was dying. Fortunately, Lexie was able to resuscitate Bo, but his condition was still grave. John

15 march 2012

and Hope broke into the security office to get their passports so they could fly back to Salem. EJ planned to take advantage of the rift between Abe and Lexie. Carrie blamed herself for Austin’s affair. Melanie encouraged Abby to be truthful with Austin before his marriage was completely destroyed. Stefano refused to hand

Patrick Muldoon stars as "Austin" on "Days of Our Lives"

over Hope’s passport. Madison returned Brady’s engagement ring to him. Austin overheard Carrie profess her love to Rafe. Kate told Billie that Sami was the mole. Rafe found out that Nicole was preg-

nant and agreed to keep the news secret from EJ. Wait to See: EJ has Jennifer arrested. Austin begs Carrie to give their marriage another shot. GENERAL HOSPITAL Sonny and Todd squared off in the battle between Port Charles’ and Llanview’s hotheads. Meanwhile, Carly and Blair discovered that they had a lot in common. Johnny hoped to coax Delores over to his side so that he could get the upper hand on Sonny. John McBain arrived in Port Charles, and it was revealed that he and Sonny had crossed paths before. Olivia tried to take the heat off Johnny after overhearing Tracy and Anthony’s conversation. Maxie had a meltdown at Robin’s funeral. Sonny had some tough questions for Kate about her involvement with Ewen. Wait to See: Noah returns home. Sonny and Jason try to get a handle on McBain.

muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought dana block

THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS Phyllis went to the coffee shop to see her granddaughter while Daisy was out of sight. Nick turned down his father’s proposal to oversee the new cosmetics line with Sharon. Adam was skeptical of Victor’s offer to help him beat the charges. The police later allowed Adam to go free -- for now. Sharon offered to resign after overhearing Lauren and the other board members litany of complaints about her. Daisy called her social worker, who advised her to get a restraining order on Phyllis. Jack made it his mission to see Adam rot in jail. Wait to See: Lauren tries to hide her PTSD symptoms from Michael. Ricky and Daisy form an alliance.Genevieve. Devon awoke from his surgery unable to hear anything. Wait to See: Nikki is fed up with Victor’s machinations. Adam faces legal trouble after his role in Patty’s escape.

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Knowledge

Amor is fati

Power

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muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

15 march 2012

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fact or fiction

weird news or urban legend? you decide.

should one raise the windows in the event of a tornado? alan brown

Nothing can make a person feel more helpless—or vulnerable—than an approaching tornado. To prevent their homes from being destroyed, many people raise the windows in their homes to equalize the pressure differentials between their house and the storm and keep it from exploding. Indeed, a number of people have told newspaper and television reporters that they believed their house is still standing because they had the presence of mind to open all the windows.

See page 2 for the answer.

strange news . . .

severed feet turn up in british columbia alan brown

On August 20, 2007, a girl walking on a beach on Jedediah Island picked up a shoe and opened the sock. She was shocked to find that she was holding a detached human foot. The shoe turned out to be a size 12 Adidas tennis shoe. Since 2007, fourteen severed feet have been discovered in British Columbia. The severed feet have washed up on the coasts of the Salish Sea. The feet belong to one woman, five men, and eight people of unknown gender. The owner of the female’s foot jumped from the Pattullo Bridge in New Westminster, British Columbia. As of last month, only four owners of the feet have been identified. A foot discovered on Vancouver Island turned out to be a hoax. Stephen Fonseca of the BC Coroner’s service is not convinced that foul play is involved: “It would be very difficult for anybody to separate a body without leaving small impressions, little nicks on the bones, Fonseca said. “The information we’ve got would suggest we’re not dealing with anything suspicious.”

t

The coroner went on to say that the feet most likely rotted off a submerged corpse and floated away. A number of theories have been offered to explain the bizarre rash of amputated feet in British Columbia: The feet are the remains of the 2004 Asian tsunami victims. The feet are the remains of stowaways who fell overboard. The feet belong to victims of a plane crash. The feet belong to missing persons who have committed suicide.

s e t a i v i tr

fifi rodriguez

1. HISTORY: In what year did the RMS Titanic sink, killing 1,517 people? 2. GEOGRAPHY: What is the largest country in South America? 3. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: In what year was the festival of Kwanzaa established? 4. POLITICS: Nellie Tayloe Ross was the first woman governor of what state? 5. MOVIES: Which Disney movie’s soundtrack features five Elvis Presley songs?

see page 21 for answers!

6. SUPERHEROES: What was the name of The Green Hornet’s car? 7. SCIENCE: What substance speeds the rate of a chemical reaction? 8. LANGUAGE: What is the meaning of the Latin word “contra”? 9. MUSIC: What is the name of Tom Petty’s backup band? 10. PERSONALITIES: What actress was briefly married to boxer Mike Tyson?


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st e t a i v i tr swers an fifi rodriguez

1. 1912 2. Brazil 3. 1966 4. Wyoming 5. “Lilo & Stitch� 6. Black Beauty 7. A catalyst 8. Against 9. The Heartbreakers 10. Robin Givens

15 march 2012

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muse: to ponder; to be absorbed in deep thought

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greg jones

i just lost my phone! “The horror! The horror!” I accidentally left my phone at home. I think. On my reading chair. Or (gasp) maybe it’s stolen. The dirty thieving bastards. When I find that . . . or maybe it’s on the bathroom counter still playing tunes. Think. THINK! I must call someone at home for a search and rescue mission. I can’t live without my phone. How will I survive for the day? Call, call, call. Must call. Wait, no one’s home. Maybe I should call anyway, just in case? Nope. Can’t make a call. Siri. Help me! I’ve lost my phone. Call to hear who answers? How? Wait a minute! Office phone. Right there, under that thick layer of dust. Cisco to the rescue! I lift the receiver and dial. 8-1-6-0-1-. Wait. What’s the number to the house? Gahhhh. I don’t even know my own house phone number. Bam! No worries. Call the wife on her cell. Genius! Damn it. What’s her cell number? What’s her office number? She’s first in my favorites. On my phone. That’s lost. Must. have. phone. now. dy. ing. slow. ly. he. l. p. m Okay, so today I learned that I may be a little too reliant on modern technology. But after my senses returned and I could think clearly again, I realized that Apple had the solution to my problems. I could easily confirm that location of my phone with their free Find My iPhone app. I grabbed my iPad, launched the app, and sure enough, my phone was at home, albeit in my yard, about 100 feet from the house. Mystery solved. Sort of. I kept wondering why the phone was in the yard. I pulled up the app again, and my phone had moved again, another 30 feet or so, almost to the driveway. I began to picture my Great Dane wandering the property, making overseas calls to his relatives from his mother’s side of the family. Ultimately, the GPS technology lacks prominent accuracy, but even

if your phone is stolen, you can get pretty darn close to its recovery on your own. Just remember to alert the police before confronting a potential thief.

no-fee texting

Tired of getting slammed with text overages on your phone bill? Show mom and dad just how responsible you are with your budget by hooking up with a free text service. On Android or iPhone, HeyWire and TextFree offer free SMS and MMS texting. HeyWire allows users to text and chat through Facebook and Twitter, a feature not offered by other similar services. To help with those high voice bills, TextFree allows users to make and receive calls with other TextFree numbers. You can even send texts with your computer. {As if you’d ever be without your phone!}

nba play

NBA Game Time Courtside is the official app for the iPad. The viewer can track stats, player status, and schedules, all while watching a live court view and live update ticket. When there’s no live court action, take advantage of video highlights and augmented video recaps.

camera talk The latest, greatest, compact camera from Canon is the G1X DSLR. Sure, $800 is a lot to pay for a subcompact camera, but this APS-C camera features a large 1.5-inch CMOS sensor. Moreover, for a little more cash, you can take advantage of interchangeable lenses for the ultimate in digital control. This 14.1 MP workhorse also shoots Full 1080P video, perfect for captured hi-def memories.

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The Drug Store of Livingston

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Spring

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. . . fl ro alan brown Mrs. Kennedy walked into her son Ralphie’s room one morning with the intention of making his bed, just as she did every morning. As she walked through the door, her attention was drawn to a note lying on his freshlymade bed. Sensing that someone was wrong, Mrs. Kennedy sat down on her son’s bed and began reading: Dear Mom, I thought you ought to know that I have eloped with my girlfriend, Barbie. I did not tell you about Barbie because I did not think you would approve of her. She is fifty years old and covered with tattoos and piercings. She also wears very tight, revealing clothing. Barbie told me yesterday that she is

pregnant and that we will have to get married. Barbie said we can live in her trailer down by the river. Barbie and I will earn a living by growing and selling marijuana. I really hope that doctors discover a cure for AIDS soon so that my Barbie will get better. I know I am only fifteen, but I truly believe that I am old enough to face the challenges that lie ahead of me. Sincerely, Your son, Ralphie P.S. What you just read is all a lie. I wanted you to realize that things could be a lot worse than my report card, which you will be receiving in the mail very soon. I am staying at Joey’s house now. Let me know when it is safe to come home.


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15 march 2012

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