THE LONELY TREE AND I
DASHANTI BEGAY
There’s a time in our lives that we question ourselves
reality” or “Is this even real?” Sometimes we can’t help ourselves
maybe make more memories with them that I could actually
to ask such questions, especially when it comes to days that
remember. I would give anything to hear Cameron’s laugh, see
feel dark and gloomy. It’s just the way our minds work, I believe.
his smile once more, hear him tell the cheesiest jokes and him
To keep us in check that this is reality and that everything that
complaining about every single thing that bothers him. To also
surrounds us is still real.
see Kyle’s confused face every time he was lost in conversation,
to see his overthinking look, to see him look and collect rocks,
Everyday I look out my bedroom window and see the
There are days that I wish I could see them again and
dead tree that has always been sitting there for god knows how
and just to hear him say the word “three trees” because he can’t
long. I stare at that tree for about five minutes of each day and
seem to pronounce it correct. Those are things that I wish I
am always reminded of the two people that use to be in my life,
could hear and see from them once more. But I know that’s not
that I’ve loved and cared for. The tree used to have bright green
possible, and I’ve made peace with it, but it doesn’t mean that
leaves that cancelled out the lonely branches that have now
I’ve got to like it.
stuck out from the ground, leaving it there to be nothing but a
sitting spot for birds that just happen to be passing through the
this is real, or if this is actually reality. Then I reassure myself
lonely neighborhood that I’ve spent half my life living at.
that it’s not, but it’s simply my own nightmare, that I have to live
Though I never thought much of the tree while growing up, until
in every single day of my life, just like a genjutsu that is casted
the day I’ve lost all hope and day I lost the two most important
upon someone to see a fake reality or just a nightmare.
people of my life. The day I lost them, the day the leaves on the
tree began to fall, leaving it naked and exposed to the dangers
tree. That’s probably the reason why I get up every day and
of the outside world.
stare at it because of how lonely we both look. The tree stands
their lonely without its leaves to comfort it, while I stand here
The two people that I mentioned I lost were people
Ever since they’ve left, I find myself asking if any of
Every day I look out my window to look at the lonely
that I always thought would be in my life forever. But forever
lonely without the two people I cherished most in this world.
turned into a short amount of time. Now, I’m only left with
We’re a lot alike than I thought we were. Maybe one day we can
the memories that they trusted me with. Sad thing is, I hardly
get back the things that don’t make us look lonely anymore. It
remember any of them now. It’s like I’ve just forgotten about all
can get back it’s leaves and I can get back my happiness. Well,
the laughs, cries, and happy memories that we shared with each
at least I hope we do.
other. To me that didn’t seem fair to them that my mind just went completely blank once they were gone. They were my happy place, my to-go people, and I couldn’t manage to remember most of the memories that they gave me. Almost like the tree
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that is now left with nothing else.
about life, such as asking ourselves “Am I really here?” “Is this
