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Nov. 7 - Nov. 20, 2015
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Keeping kids safe while online By Alison Stanton
While the Internet has plenty of positive things going for it—from helping people keep in touch with friends and family, to using it as a research tool for school projects—it can also have a dark side. As Rajani Rastogi, a social worker at Hamilton High School, noted, with the number of kids and teens who are online steadily growing, it is more important than ever for parents to be aware of some of the issues that can arise, as well as how to keep their kids safe. “In this day of social media, there is a lot of stress for kids who are dealing with cyberbullying, or who are reading rude comments,” said Rastogi, who also coordinates the Chandler Unified School District’s parent education program. “Many teenagers are looking to work on their self-esteem through social media.” For teens who are already dealing with depression and anxiety, having negative experiences online can make them feel even worse, Rastogi said. In addition to contending with cyberbullies who can belittle and tease kids and teens online, Rastogi said it’s possible for teens to have their names used for nefarious purposes. Fake social media accounts Brooke Barr and her 13-year-old daughter Revé Osheel learned the hard way about fake social media accounts. As Barr explained, last spring she noticed that Revé had “liked” a photo posted by one of Barr’s friends on Instagram. The problem? Revé did not have an Instagram account. After Revé, an eighth grader in the Chandler Unified School District, insisted she didn’t open an account on her own, Barr knew someone was impersonating her daughter. Barr posted about the incident on both Instagram and Facebook. Almost immediately she began getting private messages from multiple kids, all reporting that they had gotten mean messages from the fake “Revé.” Barr called the police department, who advised her to report it to Instagram. “I filled out my form online stating that it wasn’t my daughter’s account and they were bullying other kids with it and they emailed me back stating it had been shut down and to ‘have a great day,’” Barr said, “I emailed back saying I wanted the IP address of who it was.” After a great deal of time and effort by Barr, she was eventually able to obtain the IP address. Barr learned that a 12-year-old girl who attends the same school as Revé had made the account. Although she was frustrated to learn that the classmate would not be prosecuted, Barr has vowed to do whatever she can to prevent other families from going through the same situation. “I am currently working feverishly at putting together a class for parents,” she said. Communication is key To keep their teens safe, Rastogi said parents should take an active role in their online lives. “With cyberbullying and other problems, a lot of it has to do with a lack of communication. Parents need to sit down and talk with their teens about what is
Brooke Barr keeps an extra close eye on her daughter Revé Osheel’s online activity ever since Revé’s name was used to create a fake Instagram account. Submitted photo
going on online,” Rastogi said. “Parents should also encourage their child not to post any personal or private information online because there are predators out there.” Although parents may shy away from asking their kids for their passwords, Rastogi said they have every right to have access to this information. “When parents say ‘We need to respect their privacy,’ I say ‘No, you need to make sure your kids are safe,’” Rastogi said. Barr said she asks Revé to put her smartphone on her nightstand every night. “Some nights I look into it, and some I don’t. I always know the password,” Barr said. “Parents need to be way more involved in their kids’ lives, with the emphasis on them and social media. So many children are ruining their futures and reputations with their online personas.” To keep tabs on their teens’ online activity, parents should only allow computers in open and common areas of the home, Rastogi said. “Ask your teen to show you what they are doing,” she said. Parents should also consider setting a time limit for online activity. “It’s the same as making sure they do their homework and setting limits for them. Students need to learn to communicate in person with adults and peers,” Rastogi said. When a teen reports that he or she has been cyberbullied, Rastogi said parents need to take it very seriously. “Have the teenager show what’s online, and then take appropriate action,” she said.
“If the teens are in school, come in and set up a meeting with the school counselors so that they can help facilitate things. If it’s out of control, parents need to reach out to the proper authorities. It’s important not to take this lightly.” Rastogi said parents must also remind their teenagers that while social media and other online activities can be fun, they should not allow it to take over their lives—or be a way to boost their selfesteem. “Parents should say ‘Being online has a time and a place, but it does not define who you are.’” Alison Stanton is a freelance writer who lives in the East Valley. She can be reached at Alison@SanTanSun.com.
RESOURCES Websites http://bit.ly/1FuBPMu www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/ prevention/ Books “Words Wound: Delete Cyberbullying and Make Kindness Go Viral,” by Justin W. Patchin and Sameer Hinduja “lol...OMG!: What Every Student Needs to Know About Online Reputation Management, Digital Citizenship and Cyberbullying,” by Matt Ivester