Wednesday, December 24, 2014 by The Westfield News

PAGE 12 - WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2014

Annie’s Mailbox By KATHY MITCHELL and MARCY SUGAR

Run Out of Ideas Dear Annie: I am a concerned uncle at an impasse. I have a young adult nephew who seems perfectly content not to go anywhere in life. “Peter” wasn’t the smartest kid in school, but he managed to graduate. He now moves from job to job, never keeping one for more than six months. He seems perfectly fine with living at home and visiting my elderly father in senior housing. When I talk to Peter about his behavior, he pays no attention. He only wants to hang around and play video games and see friends who don’t help. He doesn’t think very highly of himself, though I tell him he is capable of being anything he wants. He seems to be immature for his age and still in the selfgratification stage. He has no interest in becoming an adult, earning a paycheck and moving out. I worry he sometimes takes advantage of my dad, who is reluctant to see Peter’s faults. The kid really needs a hard dose of reality, but I can’t get through to him. I don’t want him to be like this and live in his mother’s house for the rest of his life or, worse, end up in trouble and be a burden on society. Is there any way to enlighten him? -- Run Out of Ideas Dear Run Out: You sound like a caring uncle, but Peter has to want this for himself, and he’s not there yet. It also doesn’t help when others around him enable his freeloading, irresponsible behavior. This includes his parents, who should be the first in line to handle this. We recommend you stop trying to “enlighten” Peter and simply be a good role model for him. Demonstrate adult male behavior and the respect it engenders. Be someone he can turn to for help, and not another person in his life who is chastising him for coming up short. Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Indy,” the 62-year-old woman who was forced to retire, and who is lonely and struggles to make ends meet. I, too, am from Indiana, and I thought, “You don’t have to feel that way!” As you suggested, getting involved is the answer. I am a 61-year-old former schoolteacher, and my husband travels a lot. I was getting into the same rut, and it’s not a nice place to be. I thought about the things I really like doing. I was an art teacher, and I love to sew. So last winter, I formed a group of neighborhood women who would come to my house once a week to sew items for our children’s hospitals. It was a huge success and a lot of fun, and it made my home a happy place. I also worked at a large fabric store that offers several rooms for local use, so I moved our little group to the store and opened it up to the entire community. We tell people to just come and sew with us -- everything is provided. If you don’t sew, we can show you how, or you can do other things, like iron seams, pin pieces together or cut out patterns. We are currently working on Christmas pillowcases for the children’s hospitals. We also make hero capes for the kids, and with the scraps, we make fun scrub hats for the doctors and nurses. We also make lap quilts and dining cover-ups for nursing homes, as well as little knit caps for newborns. There is so much to do that we run out of time, but what a great time it is. It breaks my heart to think of someone feeling the way I used to. We would love “Indy” to join us, not only to do something purposeful, but to connect with others. -Carmel, Ind. Dear Carmel: What a lovely community project! We hope others (men, as well as women) will look into these opportunities as a way of feeling good while doing good. After all, ‘tis the season. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www. creators.com.

HINTS FROM HELOISE SHOPPING SKILLS PUT TO THE TEST Dear Readers: It’s Christmas Eve, Dec. 24, 2014, and many of you are settled in, maybe opening a present or two, enjoying family. Some are preparing to cook. But some are frantically doing LAST-MINUTE SHOPPING! I love the stories about people who have a tradition and always shop at the last minute -- sometimes really last-minute, arriving at a store only an hour or so before closing time! Others shop all year long, finding just the right gift for the right person and keeping it until it’s time to wrap and give. Hanukkah ends today, so to all of my friends who celebrate, a big old Heloise hug. My best to all of my dear readers and to everyone you care about. -- Heloise SEND A GREAT HINT TO: Heloise P.O. Box 795000 San Antonio, TX 78279-5000 Fax: 210-HELOISE Email: Heloise(at)Heloise.com

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