Tuesday, October 20, 2015 by The Westfield News

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PAGE 12 - TUESDAY, OCTOBER 20, 2015

Annie’s Mailbox By KATHY MITCHELL and MARCY SUGAR

Should I just let it go?

Dear Annie: My family is very dysfunctional because of my mother’s poor parenting and her history of playing favorites. I maintain minimal contact with my siblings. One of my sisters is very controlling and has always manipulated my mother to get what she wants. She’s my mother’s “golden child.” A number of years ago, this sister took all of the old family photos from my mother’s home. Mom says she only borrowed them. Knowing my sister, I was concerned that the family would never see those pictures again. I recently decided to ask my sister to let me have the pictures so I could go through them, make some enlargements and copies, and write down some names and dates. My adult children also have expressed interest in having access to the pictures, as they have never seen them and would like to know about their family’s history. My sister lives four hours away, and I offered to pick them up. Well, my request has started World War III. My mother and sister are furious that I have asked to take the pictures to go through them. They cannot give me a reason I can’t have access to the photos but consider me the bad guy in this scenario. I could back down and let my sister have her way, but I would like to have that piece of my family history to pass on to my children. Ideally, all of the siblings would have some of the originals, but my sister never learned to share. Should I continue my quest for these photographs, even knowing I will be treated with contempt by my mother and sister? Or should I just let it go? -- Living in Dysfunctional Family Land Dear Living: There may be another way to get the pictures. Your sister seems controlling and possessive, so she is unlikely to hand over the photographs. Instead, as nicely and sweetly as possible, ask whether you can go through them in her home. Discuss scanning the ones you want into her computer and emailing them. Or you could offer to pay her to make copies. Bring your mother along so she can see that you are being reasonable and flexible. If Sis says no and your mother gets angry, you will be no worse off. Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Ohio,” who wondered why prospective employers never get back to her after job interviews. I would suggest that after the interview, she send a thankyou letter expressing something she liked about the job and explaining how she’s looking forward to working for that company. I learned about that when I attended a community college. It helps. One employer was so impressed that he kept the thankyou note in my file. -- B.T. Dear B.T.: We like this idea. It can only enhance your chances of learning whether you got the job or not. It also doesn’t hurt to make a follow-up phone call or send a polite email if you haven’t heard back within a week of the interview. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. You can also find Annie on Facebook at Facebook.com/AskAnnies. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

HINTS FROM HELOISE A GLOWING TALE OF CAUTION Dear Heloise: A word of caution for anyone who gives away, or receives, GLOW STICKS for Halloween. (HELOISE HERE: Or use them yourself.) Someone gave some to my 4-year-old granddaughter. As she was putting some together, the end opened on one and squirted the solution into her eyes. She screamed, it burned so bad. I rushed her to the bathroom and washed her eyes out with water. They were red, but eventually her eyes were fine. Who knows what these could do to others? Please warn people that glow sticks should be used only with adult supervision, and as a caution, break the tubes AWAY from you. -- Neda M. in California Neda, glad your granddaughter is OK. The liquid in most glow sticks is NOT poisonous, but it can be irritating, especially to the eyes or mouth. You did the right thing by rinsing her eyes (do so for at least 10 minutes, and use room-temperature water) and monitoring her condition. However, to play it safe, please call the Poison Control hotline (800-222-1222) to double-check. If possible, have the glow stick with you. Please don’t take a chance with vision -you only have two eyes, and they are precious! From one who knows. -- Heloise SALAD-DRESSING TOP Dear Heloise: We buy salad dressing, and some do not have the little plastic insert top. You have a hard time measuring how much you should pour out. We save the tops from other bottles, wash them and put them on the ones that do not have the tops. Works great. Most bottles we found have the same-size openings. -- Joe C., The Villages, Fla.

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