Tuesday, January 27, 2015 by The Westfield News

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Annie’s Mailbox

Supernatural

Whitney and her parents in “My Big today Fat Fabulous Life”

Masterchef Junior (40.2) 6

By KATHY MITCHELL and MARCY SUGAR

Need help Dear Annie: My wife has a good personality and makes friends easily. The problem is, she does not keep them. If someone rubs her wrong, she flares up in anger. If someone disagrees with her, she verbally abuses them. She also gets involved in everyone else’s personal affairs. When these negative things happen, the friends start backing off. Then my wife complains that we have no friends and it’s my fault because I’m not outgoing enough. But I am friendly and participate in group gatherings without getting involved in conflicts. I make friends and keep them. This has been going on for 30 years. How can I make her see that she is the one who is driving people away? -- Need Help Down South Dear Need: Your wife is disinclined to blame herself for these things. After all, if she had the capacity for genuine selfexamination, she might not be alienating her friends to begin with. You can discuss this honestly, calmly telling your wife that she seems quick to anger and slow to forgive, and perhaps she could learn a different approach, either on her own or through counseling. But if you are unwilling to risk that argument, say neutrally, “Some folks are very sensitive, and I try to be careful about what I say to them and always try to forgive them for things that annoy me. But it’s hard work.” That may give her some ideas about how to treat others, while not assessing blame. It’s your choice. You have to live with her. Dear Annie: I was ashamed of your response to “Need To Be Held,” who was dissatisfied with her husband’s affection. Telling her to get counseling, focus on the grandchildren, get out more, etc., was fine until I came to your last line: “Please consider doing volunteer work with babies at your local hospital.” There are probably hundreds of volunteer opportunities in her community. Just because she is a mother, you assume holding a baby would make her happy? A simple suggestion that she look into volunteering with an organization that matches her passions, whether that be at her local food bank, animal shelter, day care, library or anywhere she wants, would have been less ridiculous. -- Ventura, Calif. Dear Ventura: We appreciate your weighing in, but in your effort to be gender-neutral, you miss the writer’s main point. The woman’s problem isn’t a need to be useful and busy, for which any volunteer job would be helpful. It’s that she isn’t getting enough physical affection. She even signs her letter, “Need To Be Held.” She isn’t likely to find that at her local food bank or library. Volunteering at her local hospital, where she can hold babies, is a wonderful way for her to get the physical affection she craves, and it is also good for the babies. (Men can do it, too.) Dear Annie: “Been There, Done That” lamented the trend to give kids unusual names. These days, complicated names can be an advantage if you are searching for someone on the Internet. A person with a commonly spelled first name can be impossible to find. Fifty years ago, my kid sister announced that she was going to marry someone with a simple last name. But when she married years later, it was to a man whose name was even harder to spell and pronounce than hers. When I taught elementary school in the ‘70s, the principal suggested that it might be easier for students to call me something other than my last name, as long as it started with “Mister.” On my first day, I wrote my name on the board and told the students what the principal had said. They voted to call me “Mister John.” I remember one open house when a parent addressed me by my last name. Their daughter immediately interrupted to say they were incorrect. I was “Mister John.” -- Hard To Spell Last Name

HINTS FROM HELOISE SERVING SILVER Dear Heloise: My husband and I are cleaning out stuff we know our children and grandchildren will never want. We are not sure what to do with five big boxes of silverplated serving trays, etc. We don’t serve using these, and our kids won’t polish anything. What do we do with all this? - Mrs. G., via email Don’t count out the children and grandchildren. You never know what they might have a sentimental attachment to. Why not have a “come and get it” gathering? Set everything you want to pass along, all clean and shiny. Let them draw numbers, and the first one can pick an item. Then follow through with the rest. They may swap items among themselves. Do check with places that have resale shops, such as a church, synagogue or civic organization. Of course, you can sell them. You might be very surprised what someone else is willing to pay. Do keep a few special pieces for yourself. I sometimes use a sterling-silver set of sugar bowl and creamer that was my grandmother’s for small fresh flowers. Hey, why not enjoy some of those beautiful pieces every day? -- Heloise WINE OPENER Dear Heloise: My husband and I had just moved into our house when we had family over for dinner. They brought a bottle of wine, but we didn’t have a corkscrew. My father-in-law took a screw and screwed it into the cork (not all the way), then used a pair of pliers to gently pull the cork out. -- Tanya O., Arlington, Va.

Sudoku Puzzle Complete the grid so every row, column and 3x3 box contains every digit from 1-9 inclusively.

(13) 16

8:00 p.m.

9:00 p.m.

Felicia Day guest stars as Charlie, who returns from Oz. Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) assume she’s hunting on her own and track her down. They’re shocked when she tells them why she has come back.

correctly matches the most will win an advantage in the next challenge.

The winners from the previous challenge engage in a pantry hunt before the next elimination challenge. The contest requires the participants to match ingredients and the cook who

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Whitney decides to kick things up a notch by working with a personal trainer in the first of back-to-back new episodes. Later, Whitney tries to overcome her insecurities about going to the beach by embracing her body in a bold bathing suit.

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Today’s Puzzle solution