Saturday, July 11, 2015 by The Westfield News

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PAGE 12 - SATURDAY, JULY 11, 2015

Annie’s Mailbox By KATHY MITCHELL and MARCY SUGAR

What would you suggest I do?

Dear Annie: I work full-time, am married and try to make time for my family. Twenty years ago, I had a breakdown and was hospitalized for attempted suicide. I was put on medication and saw therapists once a week. I returned to school and finished my degree in counseling. That’s the background. Now the problem: I retired at age 58 due to a severe injury and am on disability. I do as much as my injury allows, but it isn’t enough for my wife. We’ve been married for 43 years, and all she does is belittle me. Her sarcasm scalds. It feels as though she’s driving me to another breakdown. I do household errands every day. While on one of these errands, I met a younger woman (she’s 45) and we hit it off right away. I run into her a few times a month and we talk a lot, nothing more. We meet for a morning coffee or breakfast. This lady makes me feel wanted. I really don’t know which way to go. Do I just see this woman when I can, or what? -- Lost in the Real World Dear Lost: We realize that this other woman makes you feel good (don’t they all?), but you also are justifying the attraction by claiming that your wife belittles you constantly. You say you have a degree in counseling. Surely you know that you and your wife could benefit from professional help to see whether your relationship can be improved. If you believe you are on the verge of a breakdown, seek therapy on your own. And if you want out of your marriage, then have the courage to face that first. Please don’t cheapen your marriage or your relationship with this other woman by cheating on your wife. Dear Annie: I’ve always assumed that the appropriate dress for a viewing or visitation prior to a funeral was at least a dress shirt and tie for a man, if he could afford those, or a shirt with a collar if he couldn’t. Am I out of date? Are there different conventions or traditions for viewings at which an honor guard in dress uniform is present? -- Gary Dear Gary: It is no longer required that people wear black to a viewing, visitation or funeral, although overly bright, cheery colors are also not appropriate. Your dress should show respect to the mourners, and this applies to everyone, including children. For men, it often means a suit and tie. For women, it usually means black, navy, brown, gray or other conservative colors. Military funerals where there is an honor guard are more formal. In most instances, people in attendance are required to stand for a lengthy period of time, so keep that in mind when selecting shoes (please don’t wear sneakers) and deciding whether or not to bring young children. Members of the armed forces are expected to wear their service dress uniforms. Of course, at any funeral, if you do not have appropriate conservative clothing, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show up. Just do the best you can. People appreciate your presence, regardless of your attire. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. You can also find Annie on Facebook at Facebook.com/AskAnnies.

HINTS FROM HELOISE CHECK IT OUT! Dear Heloise: I just love your column and read it in Good Housekeeping and in the newspaper. In fact, I save it for last, like dessert! Instead of buying CHECKBOOK COVERS, I use folders. At thrift stores, I find colorful folders with flowers, superheroes, etc., and cut off the bottom third. I put my stamps, checkbook, checks and coupons in it and use a rubber band. -Rebecca in Columbus, Ohio Love it! Reuse, recycle and save money! I love thrift stores. You never know what treasures you might find. -- Heloise on the Hunt! PET PAL Dear Readers: Leslye in San Antonio sent a picture of her Chihuahua, Byrd, “working” on his tablet computer. Can he open the icons with the pads of his feet? To see Byrd and our other Pet Pals, visit www.Heloise.com and click on “Pets,” then “Pet of the Week.” -- Heloise NOW OR 10 YEARS FROM NOW Dear Heloise: Whenever I get stressed about something, I always remember this sage advice from my dad: Will this matter in 10 minutes? Ten days? Ten months? Ten years? Helps me put things in perspective! -- L.L. in New York Good advice to follow. Years from now, will it matter if the cake wasn’t perfect or dinner wasn’t great? Nope! -- Heloise EYE DO Dear Heloise: I have to use prescribed eyedrops in my eyes each morning. Every day I make coffee, so I keep my bottle of eyedrops in my coffee-filter container. I have not missed using my medication a single morning. -- Julia S., West Monroe, La. (c)2015 by King Features Syndicate Inc.

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