Foxy Vol. 09

SEASON 02 VOL. IX MAR '20

FOXY

THE ART & SPIRITUAL QUEEN REFLECTS ON LIFE AND THE MAGIC OF EVOLUTION

welcome EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

VOL. IX

36 Xzavier V. Simon

35 Foxy

75 Facebook/Instagram: @xzaviervsimon

57 Instagram: Facebook:

25 Website: www.themodernqueer.com 19 YouTube:

WELCOME Cool to see you again!

I’d like to welcome you all to the Modern Queer Magazine formerly known as B3: Black Boy Bluez. The focus of the Modern Queer is telling the stories of queer people of colour across Flint, Michigan, the United States, and the world.

Season 01 introduced 8 dynamic people from Michigan, Texas, Maryland, Georgia & New Jersey. The conversations ranged from fashion and baking to marriage and feminism.

The conversations were real. I thank each of them for telling their stories.

Season 02 will introduce 9 unique characters from Michigan, Texas, and Singapore. The theme of Season 02: Range. Queer people of colour occupy and create incredible spaces in the world all while dealing with issues of self, love, discrimination and growth.

Well, enough talk. Please enjoy Vol. 09 XZAVIER V. SIMON Editor-In-Chief

"...LISTENING TO THOSE PEOPLE TELLING ME, ‘YOU NEED TO BE THIS,’ OR ‘YOU TO PRETTY TO BE GAY.’ LIKE WHAT IS THAT? I CAN BE FINE AND GAY AS HELL!"

By Xzavier V. Simon

EARTHY LOCKS ART

I met Foxy, then known as Earthy Locks, back in 2016 at Flint's Gay Pride festival. I was introduced to her through a co-worker who saw her and felt we needed to meet.

Foxy gave off an aura of a woman who knew shit. Her hair was in a huge afro, her brown skin shined like gold under the sun, and her energy was magnificent. She was and is an African Queen.

Foxy was selling a wide variety of jewelry and insanely gorgeous paintings. We talked for a moment, exchanged social media, and I bought a piece of her artwork on the spot.

I interviewed Foxy in 2017 for another magazine I created called Create! Flint. We talked about her sexuality, but mostly about her artwork. Soon after we lost touch along our own spiritual journies.

"I want it to have the same effect as when you buy a plant.

Now, 4 years after our initial encounter, we have reunited. It brings light to The conversation, again, wasn't even your about her sexuality, but about her atmosphere. journey with spirit. And you know that was a conversation I wasn't That’s what I gonna pass up. want."

Welcome to Season 02 of the Modern Queer.

& FOXY EVOLUTION So what’s painting?

new?

Are

you

still It's been really hard. [laughs] I mean, meditations [were] hard. I couldn't do anything and it was frustrating. It was Yes. Well, I'm working on a piece days where I just cried. I was angry. I now, but before then I hadn't painted felt so backed into a corner since last August. Everything was at a spiritually. complete stand still.

Oh you was having one of those What happened? moments! [laughs] Girl I know all about them.

I felt like...I was originally supposed to launch my artwork on my 27th I learned my lessons. I didn't have birthday. Honestly, I think that's healthy boundaries. I ignored my where the black magic came into intuition when it came to people I play. My intuition was telling me like thought I could trust. I don’t wanna to wait, to be still. Then literally a get all emotional but it’s been really week ago I got my creativity, my deep. And, it’s been lonely because drive, my focus back. the people that I cut off were my main people. But you know, it’s

Photos by Foxy

like that sometimes. You have to walk alone and your soul family will come.

They always out there.

Sometimes we learn that people came to give enough growth for the moment.

Okay, like it's time to let go. I'm not saying that I'm perfect, but I outgrow certain things.

Understandable. You get to a certain point in your life where you’re like, ‘what is it that I want to do? What is the energy that I want in life?'

Yes absolutely!

"MY HAIR HAS BECOME LIKE A SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE...IT STARTED OUT AS JUST AN ACT OF TAKING BACK MY POWER."

In 2017 I left everything, everybody, and got on the road. It was me and Universe. Everybody needs to have that moment of self-reflection because it’s so critical. And people do leave because your energy and vibration is moving up.

I had to withdraw my energy because I felt like [people I knew] were trying to derail my success and I was so scared to launch my business because what if someone do this or what if someone do that? But spirit was like here’s your creativity back and I been crying every day.

Well look at the divine timing I had been wanting my natural cuss here we are! hair for the longest time. There was this woman who did my big Yes it’s been beautiful. chop for me. I had a small afro and she did some box braids right One thing that I love about you after. That was me taking control, is, even back then, you were your because at that time, I would seek own person. You were rocking validation from everyone except natural hair before the myself. movement started. Your hair has, to me, been a part of your Because we’re definitely taught identity. It’s been big, it’s been to do that. wrapped, curled, twisted, box braided.

Absolutely! Thinking of it now, it's like, wow, you really lost yourself I think it's been eight years now in your relationships. I felt ugly. I since I've been relaxer free. felt under appreciated.

I felt like whatever someone said to I want it to have the same effect as me about who I was. Their voices when you buy a plant. It brings light became mine. to your atmosphere. That’s what I want.

If that ain't my story. [laughs] What was the inspiration for your The meaning of it changed so much. art business?

It was like an act of me just being authentically me. My hair has The inspiration was just my inner become a spiritual experience cause child. it's always doing something different.

Sometimes I talk to my hair like ‘I Wait! [laughs] When anybody says love you.’ [laughs] It’s not the act of that I know it got deep. just washing it, but just the love and care I put into it.

When I was doing a lot of the inner child work, I started doing my It reminds me of Tracee Ellis Ross visualizations.

One of my and a Elle Magazine YouTube video visualizations, I was at my old I saw of her putting on makeup. She elementary school. I was on the talked about her hair and loving on swing with my eight-year-old self. it. I was so jealous. [laughs] When you start doing that kind of It started out as just an act of taking work…shit get real. back my power and just really stripping away the old me. You It was real. I talked to my younger know, that was truly the beginning of self because eight-years-old was my spiritual journey. What I've very difficult. I didn't realize how learned is that everything that has difficult until I got older. It was the happened in my life up to this point, time where my parents broke up. every person that has been in my life, all makes sense.

Oooooo got you.

Yes! I love those realizations!

Thank you for thinking of me because it is divine timing. I was surrounded by this darkness. I'm like what am I going to do? How am I gonna move forward? Then you sent me that message, and I'm back creative.

Because when it’s time, it’s time.

You are an incredibly gifted woman especially on the canvas.

You know there’s magic that I have to tap into so that I can use it to heal the world. That's what my art is about. Even though it's Black women, I want people to get it and to feel the love, the energy, and effort that I put into it.

Why is this business so important?

And it’s because it’s letting [my inner child] create. It’s letting her come out to play. It’s letting her finally have voice and not suppressing her.

What I'm having to learn, as far as spirituality and creativity, especially with this magazine, is to be intentional.

Absolutely.

I just don't create shit just for the sake of creating it.

I’m understanding that even when I'm not consciously aware of my energy, my spirit is still being infused into my creations. When you read or see it the energy resonates.

Exactly. It's just trying to figure out how I can really incorporate that into my art—into what I want to do.

I really want to be a fashion stylist too and figure out how I can take all of my gifts and my newfound knowledge over the past few months and work that into my business. I want to create and have Until eight-years-old, I was used to fun. I want to expand and do art for having two parents at home, and my kids to let them create. two brothers. Every Sunday we had dinner at the table. That was my Damn girl you got goals for real! existence growing up. Having all of that just suddenly changed…it That's what it's all about. You know, changed who I was as a little girl. I really pushing the envelope with didn't realize how much of that I had creativity and not just, you need to repressed. How much of my inner go to college. You need to do that. child I let stay dormant and not let You have to be this. That’s not who I her come out to play. You know am at all. adulthood took over, relationships. [laughs] No it's not at all. [laughs] Life. [laughs]

I'm not cookie cutter. I'm not going to go follow the path. I've always When I first started it was just a been unconventional. business. But this whole coming into myself, I had to redefine what that meant.

I’ve always been unique. I was bullied about how I looked. People think I have it all together like this picture of perfection. I said no, all that didn't come without the struggles.

Sometimes I second guess.

Sometimes I doubt. Sometimes fear gets in.

I want to go with a different Yooooo, that sounds incredible! direction. I want to rewrite this story.

I don't have to keep telling the same I have so many hidden talents, so story all the time. Like let’s heal this many gifts that I have been afraid to and talk about something else. You’re share with the world because I’ve not gonna do it that anymore. been so closed off by fear you know?

And if you are gonna talk about it, When we realize the magnitude of tell it a different way! how big we are, and how we can do so much we get scared of ourselves.

Instead of just trying to hold on to it. It’s like, ‘I didn't know I could do But I know how scary that is. this.’ For me, it took Universe, a Vulnerability is scary and that's power greater than me to push me something that I’m working on. and say, 'you can to do this.'

Growing up in Black families, when we leave the house you 'fix ya face' cause nobody should know what's going on. For a long time I felt I had to have this mask. I had to present this beautiful, perfect image that everything was together.

Incredibly scary. Still, vulnerability There's so many different layers to is crucial and there's strength that me. I’m not one way. Like I can rock Honestly, in my previous relationship, lies in that. We don't even get that my crystals and all of that because I I didn't have healthy boundaries up. When you really start to discover do consider myself a spiritual person.

There lines that were crossed and the power in recognizing that it’s But I like to be fly as hell. [laughs] things that I just accepted because I okay to be vulnerable, it’s okay to be thought that was what I deserved. emotional…talk about liberation.

Ain’t nothing wrong with that!

Like I didn't deserve any of that. [laughs] [laughs] Sometimes when you're right there in it, you don't realize what’s going on. That’s where Foxy Dressed Me came But you learned and grew. You need Now that I've stepped back and I've in because it's like, I've always been in the good with the bad because if looked at situations, incidents, it's like love with fashion ever since I was everything's good there would be no this is why. That relationship was little. I want people to know that evolution. draining my energy as well as that there has to be balance. There has to job. All the time, energy, effort that be duality in all things. You don't have No lessons to learn. I left because we I'm putting into things that were to just, you know, be one way. You were on two different pages. When fruitless, I was missing out on putting don't have to wear your head wraps you have baggage to unpack you can’t that into my business. I said not all the time. You can definitely be a rush that at all. I remember having a again. Now I'm choosing me. spiritual person and look fly as hell conversation with her about victim too. hood. I would talk about how I was Is the name still the same? bullied. About how my grandmother That sort of shift in thought I had to was mean to me. I said I want to It’s still called Earthy Locks. grow into. I felt my whole identity change that. That's not who I am. I shift from this... I'm going to say this got comfortable sitting in the seat of Okay. [laughs] I know as we evolve, passive spiritualist. You know, victim. It's comfortable. It's warm. Its we release old names and assume loving everybody, let's all come cozy. new ones. together. [laughs] Girl you cuddled up in that shit like I’ve got a whole brand. I’m thinking Then came this shift. Spirit told me I it's the love of your life and you don’t big with this. Earthy Locks Art is still need you invested in African people. wanna leave! [laughs] my canvas, my earrings, my wooden Invested in African/Black culture, in handmade stuff. Then I have an the community and in your Okay! Let's have a pity party. [laughs] extension called Foxy Dressed queerness. So my whole identity I want people to feel sorry for me. Me cause I love fashion. That will be shifted. It was still you need to And it’s like, when are you going to me painting on clothes, recycling meditate and get your energy regain your power and get back up clothes. I haven't told anybody about together, but it's also like and say that's not who I am. That’s it. You’re the first to know! [laughs] motherfucker Black power! [laughs] not the narrative that I want to write.

"You know there’s magic that I have to tap into so that I can use it to heal the world. That's what my art is about."

18

[laughs] Yes for my black and brown brothers and sistas!

For you, how does being queer fall into your spiritual journey?

I recognized that people was uncomfortable with this shift in me because they had only known and gotten comfortable with me in this specific way.

I struggle with my sexuality even on my path recently to be honest. It felt like…when you're in the eye of the storm, you just kind of feel like, why am I being punished? I'm like oh my God what's going on? Is this really who I am, let me know? [laughs] It was just like a mini crisis. I've had that battle several times. Or it was because the people around me. Listening to those people telling me, ‘you need to be this,’ or ‘you to pretty to be gay.’

Like what is that? Like I can be fine and gay as hell!

It’s funny that you said that, cause I was telling my mom this about a month ago. When people don't have access to the new you, they constantly bring up the old you. They constantly want to be like, ‘remember when you said this, and you said that?'

It’s like, okay I can contradict myself. It's called evolving. I can think one way last week and have a totally different perspective next week.

Okay! [laughs] I was talking to my mom and it was deep.

Sometimes I shocked myself with the stuff. Like where is this all coming from? It ain’t nothing but God. [laughs] It's time to redefine yourself and set your own mark. It’s crazy like I said, just not having those same friends. Learning to just be okay being alone. It's okay to walk this path alone. Not everybody is meant to come because you know if they do, they just gon fuck it up. [laughs] When I started my journey, especially with Black consciousness, it was the same thing as religion.

You gay you going to hell. It's the white man’s disease. Then you get over to the queer side and there's racism and what we thought was freedom really isn’t. Girl I'm tired! [laughs] It's a whole mess. [laughs] Then you relinquish Black consciousness to get into African spirituality and cosmology. You let go of religious aspects, and then you find in that space, that's where all of the parts of you are validated.

Cuss we are baby! [laughs] Okay let it go! [laughs] I realized that it's not the problem. Like your sexuality is not a problem. You are fully accepted by your guides, your ancestors, your angels. They love you regardless of who you choose to date. They don't want you to date somebody that's on, you know [laughs], but you are accepted, and that's all that matters.

Yes but that battle is continuous I swear.

Cause just growing up, I've gotten used to being like the outcast, the unconventional one. So just being a lesbian is just one more thing and it doesn't bother me. You know, I've had my run-ins with both Black men and women who just, ‘you don't need to be doing this and you need to be doing that.’

How rude is that. A friend and I were speaking the other day about how even those of us who dive into Black consciousness and spirituality, white ideology will rear its head and we will not even be aware of it.

“Like your sexuality is not a problem. You are fully accepted by your guides, your ancestors, your angels.”

Looking at both the spectrum of Black consciousness, and then trying to be a part of the LGBTQ community while being Black at the same time, it's like where do you fit in? On either spectrum you’re outcast or something, and it's really saddening to me. Which is why I don't call myself conscious or woke or anything like that. I don't associate with that because there's so much ego into it.

Even within the Black LGBTQ Thank you so much for giving me this community. Everyone wants to still opportunity and for your friendship. put these hetero-norms into it. Aside from all the bullshit [laughs], I [laughs] We're both gonna cook. have thought about the people that We’re both gonna clean. Why do we have, and that has like crossed my path. Your friendship in the beginning have to fit these roles? and listening to you talk and just how Honesty, because that’s all we know your energy flows and how creative and we don’t question it. And if we that you are…it definitely has inspired me along my path. do, people think we crazy.

And people don’t realize that Girl don’t make me cry. I’m a Cancer! commercialization spirituality is not love and light all the You know that’s all we do. [laughs] time. It's hard. It's dark. It's dirty. You have to face your own shortcomings, You and others have really propelled Absolutely. Everything is so watered your own misdeeds, how you may me forward on my own spiritual down. Everybody styles the same. have treated people in the past, how journey. It really has taught me to Everybody's regurgitating the same you treated yourself in the past. The keep going no matter what, and to thing. I remember talking to myself fact that you didn't listen to your always tap into that creativity and and I said, you know everyone wants intuition when Spirit was like, ‘hello, come up with new ideas. So thank you so much for this opportunity and to say that they're spiritual these can you hear me?’ [laughs] your friendship. I met you two years days. For me, spirituality is not about just being love and light all the time. It can be life or death at some ago. It's just awesome.

Spirituality is about accepting moments. Spirit telling you to go Who would’ve thought right? Could yourself, who you are on a deeper and you second guessing. [laughs] never believe it. level and accepting the people around you. It's not shunning people. Thank you. Thank you. [laughs] Yeah, and it all started because I was You don't have to necessarily wear crystals all the time or all this other Thank you so much. I don’t have selling necklaces and look at us now. stuff. conversation like this very often. [laughs] The fact that here we are having this Following the vibe. conversation means that the energy Look at us. is opening up in the city for us to Make sure you know what you're come together, rejoin and have Because you know, you really don't know what you're up against until saying before you actually go out here conversations like this. you're up against it. So you have no and cause harm to people who are choice but to fight back into standing saying the same thing. I learned about It's like you never even left. I love it! in your power. And I think that's why black magic and if you are out here just randomly throwing shit out of This feeds my soul. Cause you know, I'm still here, regardless of if I knew it malice, you need to know who you when you by yourself, you be like before or not.That's why I'm here. I'm messing with because the ancestors where is everybody else? Hiding! here to serve a purpose, many purposes for the world. don't play about that. [laughs] And so now.

much

Cause I know mine don’t. [laughs]

Okay I been in hermit mode. [laughs]

So for me, it's just about really Thank you so much for the time and creating my own space and just being energy, your spirit, the comfortable in that space no matter conversation. who likes it. It's so hard trying to fit in the LGBTQ community because there's still so much hatred.

And that's that on that.!

"I was missing out on putting that into my business. I said not again. Now I'm choosing me."

PUBLISHED IN FLINT, MICHIGAN

VOL. 09 MARCH 2020

FOXY

THE MODERN QUEER