Confessions of a Greg Heffley hater

Completely valid reasons to HATE Greg Heffley and his book of lies.

As I’ve read his diaries and analyzed his life piece by piece, I have come to the conclusion that Greg Heffley is EVIL. We see life through his eyes, but that sort of makes it worse. He is the WORST type of human being.

He is a narcissistic, selfcentered, egotistical freak who’s only motive in life is to make everyone as miserable as him. He is an ungrateful little brat with a huge ego, he treats Rowley (my king) like garbage, AND he looks like he smells, just like the rest of his freaking family (with the exception of Rodrick). OH and I heard he pooped himself during church? Who does that?? In MIDDLE SCHOOL nonetheless.

He obviously has “Small Man Syndrome”, a REAL condition where a little man may feel the need to overcompensate.

Honestly, sometimes I really feel for him, he’s the middle child in a super weird family, but at the same time, I don’t give a crap. LOLZ. He just looks like his shirt is sweaty ALL THE TIME. Also, what is up with his outfits? He wears literally the same thing everyday and it’s musty. Trust me, I went to school with him, I would know.

Time and time again, we see the havoc that he wreaks, the countless lives he’s ruined (including mine), and the fear he invokes in everyone he encounters. Homie has NO skills, he will get demolished once he grows up which is literally the ONLY thing keeping me going. I have sent this document to the Boogar Press with high hopes that everyone will see just how much he’s affected me and others in the worst way possible. Also I have proof that he is a butt muncher. Fregley OUT.