Feature /// 5-a-side football
‘THE GAMES, THOUGH FAST AND SKILFUL, TEND TO BE LOW ON PHYSICAL CONTACT’ and played the whole hour”. Any after-effects? “I got out of bed the next morning and immediately fell over. I then had to limp down to Boots to get some pain killers and wondered why everyone was staring at me until I noticed the bandage round my ankle was unwinding as I hobbled down the High Street and trailing behind me for several feet. I must have looked like an Egyptian mummy with a very bad limp”. What did wife Teresa think? “She said I should pack it in at my age. But then she’s been saying that for 25 years.” Doubtless we should all know better, but as captain Mark Gough says: “It gets your heart pumping and there aren’t many sports we can still do where you really get a sweat on and feel good about yourself afterwards, win or lose”. (Yes, reader, believe it or not, we have since won on a few occasions - although admittedly this represents a rather small proportion of the matches played). “Feeling good about yourself afterwards” is a great way to put it. There’s nothing like an hour or so running about Catmose College sports hall, albeit in a way somewhat redolent of headless chickens, to get those endorphins to kick in. Team-mate Chris Clarke, who used to play the other game professionally for Bridgend (which may explain why his every shot at goal clears the crossbar by 30 feet) said: “I’m thinking about playing rugby again and it’s really helping me to get somewhere near the fitness level I need to attain. But the best thing about it is the humour.” It’s true that what we lack in athleticism we make up for in banter, although we now have a team training plan of our own. This strict regime consists mostly of walking between pubs rather than catching a taxi and adding salad to those late night doner kebabs. Fortunately, the version of five-a-side that we play allows for rolling substitutions which means you can come off if exhausted, recover and then return later to give someone else a rest. Generally this implies that however incompetent or unfit you are your presence is helpful to the team, although it is true that we once famously had someone who lasted only three minutes. Also, there’s no need to pick the side beforehand, so people can just roll up and be sure to get on at some stage. Gavin Martin, who’s a relative youngster but whose face still goes as red as his hair when he plays, said: “It’s always fascinating to see who shows up on the day and to find out whether we’re going to be pretty good or useless”. Other active local teams include The Lord Nelson, the support staff of Oakham School and The Railway. Most have a more sensible demographic in age terms than ourselves but the games, though fast and skilful, still tend to be low on physical contact – which is one reason we wrinklies are able to hack it. As John says: “With a family and mortgages to pay, we’ve all got to go to work tomorrow so no-one wants to see someone end up with a broken leg.” If you think you can get a few like-minded work colleagues or friends together and fancy a game contact me at jeremy@theactivemag.com and we’ll see what we can do. All it’ll cost you is £3 per head for hire of the sports hall and don’t worry – even that’s only payable if you’re still alive at the final whistle.
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Games are high on skill and fun, but low on physical contact. All ages can play. The Oakham Hotspurs team
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19/09/2014 16:26