Loves compassion magazine abuse issue by Tash Gil

Issue 2: Features Abuse

Love’s Compassion Magazine

Getting To Know Us Mission Statement: Restoring souls, not just through God but also through God’s soldiers, gifted and anointed. Hello, my name is Tashara Gilyard. I am the CEO and Founder of Love’s Compassion Magazine. As a young person growing in Christ I came to learn it’s not always easy to dedicate yourself to this walk of life. There are a number of reasons for this: the fear of the unknown, having to let go of things we believe we enjoy, trust issues caused by past hurt, observing hypocrisy amongst those in the church, feeling like you’re too young… let’s face it the list could go on forever. I came to learn it is very difficult to be busy for God and the enemy at the same time, (“No one can serve two masters, either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other”) sounds familiar? Matthew 6:24. I have made up my mind to be busy for God.

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We all have gifts and talents of some sort. There are some things we learn and things the Lord just blesses us with for His purpose. My gift from God is words. He has given me the ability to take someone’s life’s journey and bring it to life on paper. I am able to listen to someone’s cries of pain and or joy and pour those feelings into a poem/spoken word piece for another to hear and relate to. With this ability combined with the compassion God has placed in me, He has given me a vision to start a ministry where souls can be restored and hearts can be mended. What better way to do this then by sharing of ourselves for the kingdom of God. There are many that refuse to step foot into a church today for a number of reasons and it’s not always because they don’t believe in God. There has been so much hurt caused in and by the “Church.” People decide they would much rather take their chances in the street getting hurt, rather than going into the church where we are supposed to be able to receive a healing, and instead receive a spiritual homicide. They are often judged, ostracized and made to feel as though they are counted out. I don’t know about you, but if I walk into a hospital, blind, lost and wounded; I would expect assistance, guidance and a great effort of aiding my needs. Anything less would most likely discourage me from ever returning to this hospital or even seeking any assistance from anyone affiliated with it. The vision God has given me is an open line of communication between God’s children, both lost and 2

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“found.” It is time to take back all that the enemy has tried to destroy. It is time to get the beam out our own eye, time to remember we did not come out of our mother’s womb carrying a bible, speaking in tongues and walking upright with Jesus. We too were once dirty, broken, battered, abused and or abusing others. Had it not been for an obedient vessel of God allowing themselves to be used for the glory of God and the building of His kingdom we would still be the mess we were before we began ministering the message to another. This magazine is creating an opportunity to see where the “Church” has gone wrong and rectify the situation. What have we done to discourage God’s children from coming to visit Him in His house? We are creating an opportunity to hear the broken hearts cry out, allowing them to release their pain instead of living a selfdestructing life. Be an example and share our testimonies. Allow them to see they aren’t in this alone and that our God is still in the business of healing. Provide them with spiritual food so that they no longer have to starve. Provide them with help and prayer to come out of their situation. Reach out to them with non-judgmental arms and embrace them with a warm and open heart. Love them the way God loves us, unconditionally. Remember how you felt the first time God embraced you, wiped your tears, and showed you were loved. Do everything in your power to help them feel that same way. Most importantly this is the opportunity to assist those who don’t have a relationship with their 3

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heavenly father and encourage and teach them how to. God loves us with compassion and now it’s time for us to love our neighbors the same.

Founder/CEO: Tashara Gilyard

Love’s Compassion Magazine Deanna Story That one wrong decision, although I didn’t know it was wrong at the time, cost me two years of my life that I can never get back. God was there with me, keeping me even when I didn’t know Him like I have come to know Him. I decided to allow this man, let’s call him “Greg”, to give me a ride home one evening after staying late at an aunt’s house. I told him I was just about to head home and he graciously offered to take me. The fact that he was concerned about me being out alone at that late hour, at the time made my head spin. I thought, “Wow, ok someone’s winning some brownie points here.” He had to wait about 5 minutes. I apologized for having him wait because I lost track of time. And almost immediately he went in on how he doesn’t like his time to be wasted, how he doesn’t’t even like having to wait on his mother… I let him drive me home, all the while listening to him go on and on about how his time is not to be wasted. After a while I just tuned out making a note in my mind to lose his number, but it was already too late. He called a few times, the calls all went unanswered. Then one day, about two weeks later, he showed up outside my door. He asked why I wasn’t returning his calls, I told him because I didn’t think we were meant to go any further than we did. His reply, “Still wasting my time, I see I’m gonna have to teach you not to do that. Didn’t I tell you I don’t like nobody wasting my time? So now that you’ve wasted my time, I’m going to waste your time.” If only I knew how true those words were. I had to report to him my every move; when I woke up, when I got to work, when I was leaving work, when I got home, even when I was going to bed. He set specific times these calls had to be made, and if 5

Love’s Compassion Magazine they weren’t, there’d be hell to pay. Sometimes I would slip up and forget to call at an appointed time “You think I’m playing right?” Keep in mind even though I was living through hell, I was to give off the impression that everything between us was peaches and cream. If ever anyone got a hint that something between us was off, enough so as to begin to ask questions, the punishment would be like nothing he had ever before done. He would tell me constantly that I was worth nothing I wanted to cry out to someone, but didn’t know how. I thank God though for my mother, because I know she always prayed for me. When we’d talk on the phone I was sure she could tell that something was off with me, but since we both weren’t the talking type, she’d never come right out and ask me what was wrong. What she would ask me was the question, “Have you found a church yet?” And always my answer was no. Things really began to take a turn for the worst. I started thinking maybe it would be better to just cease to exist. Maybe one day I would do some insignificant thing that would just push him over the edge and make him take my life. He would make statements like no one would miss me. Imagine if you could, living with someone constantly telling you, you were worth less than dirt, you were fat, ugly and unlovable. Having to look yourself in the mirror and repeat all the self-‐deprecating statements that he would feed you, while you were naked and on your knees. Imagine still having to have sexual relations with such a person, knowing that if you didn’t’t perform as was expected you would be hurt in ways unimaginable. I tried everything to turn him off from me. I gained weight, stopped caring how I looked when we went out. When that didn’t’t work, I began starving myself. That didn’t work either. Then something happened…. On my 24th 6

Love’s Compassion Magazine birthday I got a card from my mother as I always did. She signed it like she always did but the sight of it that day was like seeing it for the first time. It struck a chord in me I forgot was there. She had written, “Remember God loves you and so do I”. The force of those words… God loves me, in spite of the situation in which I had found myself, In spite of how I felt about myself. God loved me in spite of everything I had ever done, he didn’t even make it conditional on me loving Him, He just loved me. Seeing those words that day made me go out and find a church. I must say I did enjoy the welcome, I could feel the warmth and love emanating from the members, and I remember thinking “Yes, this is what I need.” I was pleasantly surprised at how much I missed going to church and fellowshipping with other believers. Although I didn’t make the commitment to be baptized, I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I was just in such a backsliding position that I didn’t think of myself worthy of being in His presence, further more being forgiven by Him. How could someone like me? I just kept going back Sunday after Sunday. He soon found out I was going to church on a regular basis. He didn’t seem to mind it much at first. The problem with me going arose when he noticed my old confidence re-‐emerging. Then he asked, “So you’re enjoying going to church, huh?” I answered yes. Then he asked, “What would you do if I told you that I didn’t want you going anymore?” I looked at him, panic stricken. When I found my voice, I heard myself say, “I’d still go.” “So you would plain out disrespect me, just disregard what I said and go?” “Yes,” I said with a little too much bravado for his liking. In the blink of an eye I was sent reeling backwards onto my bed. He screamed at me through clenched jaws, “You really think this is a game that 7

Love’s Compassion Magazine I’m playing with you. All that I’ve been doing, you still want to play games with me and waste my time, right?” He thought that by raping me he would take away my resolve, but he was wrong. The more he did to me, the more earnestly I prayed for a way out. I continued going to church, even started making friends that he didn’t know about. I was very careful to not let anything appear to have changed. I got another cell phone, he didn’t know about, and I slowly and carefully started planning to make my break from him once and for all. I had worked up the nerve to tell someone what I’ve been going through for the last two years. “What are you waiting on to make a report to the police about this?” “You know the next time he decides to go upside your head for whatever reason, in his sick mind, could come up with, may very well be your last?” I knew what he was saying made perfect sense, but I was so deathly afraid to make a move, to take a stand. It just so happen that one was made for me. When I went to make my 9p.m. check in phone call, I discovered I was out of minutes on my prepaid cell phone. When it had sunk in, I was shaking like a leaf. A small voice said to me, “You know if you go back, he’s going to kill you.” He would have to prove to me just how serious he was.” My friend, seeing my anguish, offered me his sofa, saying it was mine to use for as long as I needed it. I stayed that night. The following morning I was still a mess of nerves, not sure what to do next. So I called my employer, not telling her where I was, only that I was safe. She was frantic! Just as I suspected, “Greg” had been by looking for me. What tore me up though was the fact that my grandmother had called her crying, worrying about my where abouts. I called my grandmother, and in a tear-‐filled conversation, told her all that had been going on. There was no 8

Love’s Compassion Magazine turning back now. I decided since the story was already out there, what would it hurt for one more person to know? I called my aunt and filled her in. She dropped whatever it was she was doing and drove to Queens. Before long I was in her car headed to the precinct. After I made the report I felt one hundred pounds lighter. It was decided that I wouldn’t be safe staying in Queens, until after “Greg” was picked up by the police. So back to the city I went to the safety of a sofa. I was going to let go and let God, God had proved Himself faithful. I know now that He was with me from the very beginning, making sure that I would come out of this situation better than I was. I know who I am and whose I am. I am Deanna McNicol, a child of the most High and Living God. I am someone with a divine purpose, and I will spend the rest of my days doing my utmost best to live it out.

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There are so many different types of abuse, child abuse, drug abuse and sexual abuse and the list goes on. But there is one type of abuse we do not speak of, abusing God. Abuse is to misuse or to use something for a bad purpose. We as saints, continue to abuse God's goodness and mercy so much that it has become a lifestyle. How many times have we told God “We are so sorry.”? We will never do it again Lord! Crying and asking for repentance at the altar, taking the energy out of our Pastors and asking our brother and sisters in Christ to pray for us. As soon as we finish repenting and we get up from the floor, we are right back to doing the same things. We abuse the goodness of God by trampling on His mercy and by mocking His love for us. God forgives all confessed sin. HE wipes the slate clean for us. By grace we are saved. In Romans 6:1-‐2 (NIV), “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” The word grace means to get what we don’t deserve. We should not take God’s grace for granted. His grace is not a toy that we play with and throw to the side, when we are finished. Blood was shed for our sins and this is the thanks we give Him. Christians today are just like the people we read about in the Old Testament. Bringing a poor innocent animal for sacrificial offering so our sins would be forgiven and next week I would get another animal and do the same thing all over again. The only difference today is we don't have 10

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an animal to sacrifice because Jesus, The Lamb of God, shed his precious blood for us so we could be saved. God's grace is not just about giving us a second chance, but it’s about transforming us into the individuals God wants us to be. When we allow the grace of God to transform us. We are restored and we are made strong, firm and steadfast. The next time we ask God for forgiveness and thank him for new mercies. Let us ask God to transform us. In my own personal experience I know how hard it can be to not go back to our old ways but we can do through Christ Jesus, who strengthens us. (Philippians 4:13) Roslyn Simmons

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“Numbing the Abuse” “Liv every time I see you, you’re either intoxicated or headed there.” Yeah, so, what you watching me for? “I’m not, and I didn’t mean to offend you either.” Yeah, well life is just an easier pill to swallow if it feels like an outer body experience. “You mind if I ask why?” Do you have time to listen? “Sure.” I feel like I’ve fought so hard to not be somebody that I’ve turned right into them. I grew up in a home where my name was secondary, but Stupid, M-‐fers and all kinds of other colorful words were what should’ve been on my birth certificate. My mother’s fingerprints didn’t have to be on file in no precinct, if they ever wanted to match up her prints they could just match them from anywhere on my body. There was a time when my body was like her canvas and her hand and arms reach objects were her art supplies. I’d go to school and people would just flock to me. I was the life of the day. To say I was funny would be an understatement, but to say I ever laughed inside would be a lie. The old laugh to keep from crying routine was my specialty. I was always a bright kid. “She’s a smart girl,” the teachers would always say, “If we could just get her to focus and keep quiet.” Quiet! What’s that? I ain’t ever had a quiet day in my life. If there was silence in a room, do know it was always noisy in my head. I’m constantly trying to overshadow the echoing of mom screaming how stupid I am, how I’m just like my no good father. When 14

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I’m not hearing her voice, I’m hearing my own. I’m constantly asking myself why my father didn’t stay around, and wondering how much better life would have been if he had. If I let mom tell it he wasn’t any good. But hey I figured, he was good enough to get her in bed… She never explains why he left though. Just before I was old enough to leave home, I went into foster care. I experienced more in the system then at home with my mom, a lot of great memories but more unanswered questions. Did you know that as of 2012 there are 399,546 children in foster care? And while in most cases children are removed from their home for abuse, did you know there are a great deal of them being abused physically, sexually, emotionally and mentally after being taken from their home? Imagine being taken from the only home you know, placed somewhere else with complete strangers; being told this is being done to help you and being abused if not the same, even worst. Who do you trust then? You are immediately placed in all kinds of counseling, family counseling, one on one and such. Again this is supposed to “Help you.” But all you’re doing is replaying the first hurt, while living in a confused second hurt and inside you’re screaming for a way out, but NO ONE can hear you, No one at all. In family counseling they’re trying to help you cope but it’s like all you get is a bunch of excuses as to why this woman that gave you life, sucked it from you for as far as you can remember. Do you believe my personal therapist tried to get me to see how the abuse my mother experienced growing up caused her to abuse me? Get the “hec” outta here. So she couldn’t see how it hurt her? She wasn’t bright 15

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enough to figure out not to make the same darn mistakes? Yeah right. Well needless to say being hurt by the one person you feel is “supposed” to love you and then being taken from that hurt and being hurt by so many others who claim they were there to help you… All I can think of is what a wise man once told me, “Put your back against the wall and Everybody is suspect.” Sooooo, having being failed out the gate with my very first relationship, parent to child and pretty much every one thereafter; I’ve been unable to carry out a healthy relationship because it’s scary to trust the unknown when you’ve been hurt by the only people you’ve known. So when I see a bottle of alcohol the first thing I think is, ESCAPE. “Wow Olivia, I’m sorry that’s your reality. I will definitely be praying for you and every soul like you.” Thanks, we sure do need it. By: Anonymous 16

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Peace of Mind or Piece of Mind? (Excerpt from Words of Faith by Pastor Emery B. Barber) An indignant supervisor approaches one of her employees, upset over the errors found in a report that took two more days than the anticipated time frame. Menacingly she approaches and points her finger in the face of the employee and says, “You just keep digging a hole for yourself – deeper and deeper! I’m trying to help you, but you just won’t rest until you find yourself…” WHAP! BOOM! Are the sounds that interrupt her verbal tirade. Many enter the office space to find the seemingly shocked employee standing over her unconscious supervisor. “What did you do to her?! How did this happen?!” The people ask. She answers with the same question, as she whispers, “What did I do to her? How did this happen?” There are times when we find ourselves in similar situations in life. Maybe not quite as extreme, but sometimes even more so. In the midst of this abusive situation, the question lingers, “How did this happen?” As we reflect on the answer, that very well could have happened in Anywhere, U.S.A., I pray that we might positively react, and even be proactive in helping others toward deliverance in related areas of their own lives. God inspired His servant James to write, “Man sins, because of the lust of His own heart. And after lust conceives itself, it brings forth sin, and sin brings 17

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forth death.” James 1:14-‐15 NKJV God, in all his awesome wisdom, expresses to us through the counsel of His Word, that “practice makes perfect.” In other words people commit acts that are against the will of God, because of the evil lusts, the desires that are against the will of God, the meditated upon, or mentally practiced thoughts in one’s own heart -‐ or mind, if you will. As a result of the continual meditation (practice) on that desired act, it matures or is perfected to the point that we give birth to it through our actions. The practice of the inward sinful desire gives birth to the outward act of sin. Now don’t get it twisted, the thought of sin took place, before the act of sin, but it was sin from its inception. That’s what Jesus meant when he said, that “every man who looks upon a woman with ‘lustful intent’ has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matt. 5:28 NKJV Now you may wonder what this has to do with the abusive behavior of the parties we spoke of as I started. I’m so glad you asked. Prior to this catastrophic event, there were actions by all parties involved that led up to this point, but we will focus on just the one today. As you might imagine, the supervisor was regularly cynical of and condescending to her employee, and I can recall hearing “Vicki” grumble on a regular basis, “One of these days I’m just gonna smack your face off!” or “I just wanna smack her!” I would say to her, “Take the high road Vicki! Don’t even think about it.”

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As Vicki turned to me that day, she said, “You know me, I would never do a thing like this! I can’t believe this happened! I shared with Vicki that I had witnessed her practicing for the Main Event, for months. Every time I heard her communicate in a grumble or whisper, or as she banged on her desk, she was committing the act of “smacking her face off,” and thereby practicing in the arena of her mind. Abuse, as well as any other activity – sinful or otherwise, begins in the mind. God wants you to be delivered from the oppression of sin as well as the effect of death that results, because He loves you so much. That‘s why God sent His son Jesus the Christ! Through Christ we witness the power over sin and death, and through Christ’s death and resurrection we are empowered to live victorious lives. And while we are so ready often times to give someone a piece of our mind, we should never do so until we have engaged God’s peace of mind. In the book of Philippians and the 4th chapter, verses 6-‐9, God tells us that when we change the culture of our thoughts to that which is pure, just, noble, lovely and worthy of good report, which is everything about our loving Savior, that the very God of peace will be with us. It is in that place that we can commune with the loving God who will give us peace to guard our hearts and minds. I want to leave you with three steps that can help you to appropriate the grace of God toward victory over destructive behavior today. God communicates to us through the counsel given to Paul in the third 19

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chapter of the book of Colossians that when our position changed through Jesus Christ, it necessitated a change of our focus – our thought lives, which postured us to partner with God in the change of our purpose. 1. Change your position. If you have not accepted Christ as personal Lord and Savior, you’re on the losing side, resting in a losing position. You are a victim not a victor. I’m speaking to the abused as well as the abuser. The abused has to change their position to occupy the safe place in the presence of the Lord, and the abuser as well for the same reason! “Confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus Christ and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9 2. Change your focus. When we are saved, we are raised with Christ from death to life and are to “set our minds on things above and not on the things of this earth.” Colossians 3:1 Changing your focus toward the will of God allows you to use Kingdom resources and principles to manage the issues of life toward success. 3. Change your purpose. As you change your focus your prime directive changes. Your purpose changes from being self-‐centered to God-‐centered. Your reason for living is no longer selfish, or to serve yourself, but you realize that you were created to

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worship God and to make the praise of God glorious! Of course this change of purpose was initiated by God when you were saved, as your very nature began the transformation from sinful toward holy, as Christ is holy. In effect, your every action and growing desire is to prove how good and acceptable and perfect is the will of God. So you live to love and glorify God, you love and edify God’s people. Essentially my brothers and sisters it’s time for us to lay hold of the abundant life that God has made available to us and it begins with a change of mind. May the words of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable oh Lord, our strength and our redeemer. Psalm 19:14 Amen.

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Because She Loved Him She always let the brotha put her down—because she loved him. She let him run all around town—because she loved him. She told her girls & family goodbye—because she loved him. She went to bed in tears every night and she cried— because she loved him. She told everyone cover up lies—because she loved him. She wore dark glasses to cover her eyes—because she loved him. She couldn’t’t see that this love was no prize—because she loved him. She couldn’t’t take the beatings any more—because she loved him. Now all that knew her will forever mourn—because she loved him.

Adrienne Dozier©

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Caution The next story contains a bit of censored profanity from the heart of a broken child…

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The Testimony of a Twelve Year Old So I sat with a group of youth. In talking one began to share his story. Let’s call him, “Shawn.” He shared how he was born and raised through abuse, both verbal and physical. My heart cried when he stated, “In my opinion children should not be abused in anyway.” He would wake up to go to school and the minute he would walk out the apartment there was his aunt screaming, “You better behave in school mother f*@#er. His verbal abuse: He’d get called so many names by his own guardian that would hurt him to the point of tears. When coming home from school he’d hear his aunt cursing at him and calling him out his name. This young man has been called “Bums, b*@#h, a@@ hole, and even mother f*@#er. He would cry himself to sleep each night wondering, if his mother were alive would she call him these despicable names. His physical abuse: Do you know how it feels to be hit with so many objects or even to get those objects broke on you? Well he’s been hit with a wooden back scratcher, belts, wires, remotes and even watches. Who on this planet gets hit with remotes, watches and back scratchers? Was a question I heard him pose. There are many Shawn’s out here today and “Tina’s or Suzy’s” get my drift. Many our children are being abused both physical, mentally and verbally. What are we doing about it?

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Dear Listener: Why is it that God would allow me to endure all this abuse, not protecting me and then expect me to trust him? Response: When I hear questions like this, I can’t help but to think of the usual answer, which is, it was all for a testimony. The truth is that's not always the case. Also, if a person is still hurting from the abuse, then that answer is not helping them. The Bible says offences will come, but woe unto him who brings these offences, (Luke 17:1). So the fact that the offence came and you ENDURED, shows you that it was God who brought you through it and is still capable of bringing you through anything else. That is the reason you can trust God. You've already experienced Him giving you the strength to stand against the evil that would and has come upon you. The truth of the matter is, you should or could be dead physically and/or mentally. Being that you have been abused, there's a very good chance that in your life you have abused someone. Often times hurt people, hurt people. If you are able to look back over your life and remember all the times when somebody could have killed you or even you could have killed someone from the abuse, you ought to thank God you are not where you could be.

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Because of one man's disobedience, there will always be things that happen in our lives we dislike. This is how we all have become sinners. So whatever type of sin we commit, we are accountable for it whether it is against ourselves or others. Because of sin we deserve death (Romans 6:23a). So God, through his mercy and grace sent Jesus that we would be forgiven of our sins and that we might have eternal life. No longer should we think of what someone did to us, but what we do to God and ask Him, what is it about me that you loved so much? Why did you allow Jesus to ENDURE all of that abuse for me when I didn't even care who He was? I'm inspired to be like Paul in (Philippians3:13-14) forgetting those things that are behind and pressing for the mark of the higher calling, which is in Christ Jesus, whose mercy and grace is extended to us every day that we not be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good.

I Have the Power To determine my own In getting divorced Destiny Or changing careers And to be my own I'm moving my life Best friend to me Beyond my own fears No longer must I Or will I depend Upon a mate Or any outside trend

I'm opening doors By instinct alone And asking others I cannot condone

To give me power or To give me strength To mold my life Or shape my world

Although I know not What's on the other side My decisions are mine And I make them with pride

Since I began to Discover myself And seek the essence Which lies within,

I rely on myself And my God-given strength My faith will sustain me Until I am quenched

I found some peace Some dignity I no longer accept Reality

I've practiced and preached And I've strived for and reached And I've seen for myself What no others can teach

I'm no longer swayed By others' advices I'm no longer paying The guilt-ridden prices In raising my children Or quitting my job I now realize It's my hand on the knob

We’re endowed with the gifts Of thought and free will To heal our own lives Or choose to be ill I'm learning, I'm growing I'm beginning to flower I now realize… I have the Power Copyright 8 1991 Renée McRae0

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You have read Love’s Compassion Magazine issue on Abuse. I would like to take a moment and define abuse. Abuse: Verb: 1) use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse. Synonyms: misuse, misapply, misemploy, etc… 2) treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, esp. regularly or repeatedly. Synonyms: mistreat, maltreat, ill-treat, treat badly: etc... Noun: 1) the improper use of something. “Alcohol abuse" Synonym: misuse, misapplication, misemployment; etc… 2) cruel and violent treatment of a person or animal. Synonyms: mistreatment, maltreatment, ill-treatment; etc… While there are many types of abuse, we’ve addressed only a few: domestic abuse, abuse of the mind (mental abuse), physical and verbal abuse. We’ve even gotten to see how we can turn our situation around, taking back our power. We often get lost in our test, that we over look our testimony. The song writer says, “So glad I made it, I made it through. In spite of the storm and rain, heart ache and pain…,” he goes on later in the song to say, “In spite of the calamity, He still has a plan for me.” This is what we need to remember. In “Deanna’s Story” and “Because She Loved Him” we see domestic abuse. In one case our victim came out victorious; in the other case we have the tragic ending. Our 28

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columnist uses a statement that I use frequently, “Hurt people, hurt people.” I would also like to encourage you to remember we live our lives reacting. You may question what I mean by this. Our actions in life are reactions from something(s) we’ve experienced or learned. Abuse believe it or not is a reaction. It’s a learned behavior someone is reenacting from an experience. We can look at everyone’s abuse in this magazine and even our own experiences with abuse and get upset or harbor a number of emotions because of it, but let’s not get stuck there. While it was sad and or tragic that Deanna had to endure her domestic abuse, Olivia and Shawn their physical and mental abuse, let’s look at the fact they made it out. But think about the abusers for a moment. “Why do they do what they do? Don’t they see how they are hurting others? Where is the remorse?” My question is where should they have learned to have remorse? Please don’t say common sense. If the way in which you were brought up was watching someone abuse others, you are more than likely going to practice this same behavior. There are some who try to relieve themselves of the abuse or memories of being abused, so they begin to abuse alcohol, drugs or even themselves. They’re attempting to numb the pain. This is a tool of the “enemy,” Satan. The mind is satan’s playground. He will plant all kinds of seeds in there if we let him. What we feed our minds or allow to fester in our minds will eventually become our actions. Satan sees the things we go through and tries to tell us because of these things we have or should be a certain way. He’ll remind us of our experiences and have us to believe our actions are justified. We have to learn to condition our mind if we are going to make a 29

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difference. Conditioning our mind would be no different than conditioning our body. It will take time and dedication. The word says, “Do not let this book of law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it” (Joshua 1:8). This would be the way in which we renew our mind. When the enemy tries to put thoughts in our heads, reminding us of things, or trying to have us believe our experiences justifies negative actions, come back at him with the word of God as Jesus Christ did in Matthew 4:1-11. But you can’t use the word of God if you don’t know the word of God. Thank you for reading our work. If you found yourself in any of what you read we would love to hear from you. We are here for prayer if you want it. Don’t feel shy or uncomfortable reaching out to us here at LCM. There are NO judges here. If you want to reach out to us anonymously, feel free. All are welcomed. May God Bless You All

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