How to Help a
Grieving Family
I get so many people asking what ideas I have for helping someone who just lost a loved one. We all care, we just don’t know what to do or how to help, and we really don’t want to make anyone feel worse. Several years into my own grieving process, I have a few ideas. Please feel free to share this page. We all will experience some form of loss or death - it’s just part of life.
Right after the death happens:
- Send a quick text or email showing love and concern - if you don’t send this message, the person will wonder why. I did. I really was hurt by some close people that didn’t even mention the GIANT elephant in the room. It’s so devastating to lose a loved one. Lots of LOVE is needed to sustain the family dealing with this burden and every text is welcome. What if everyone said, “oh I don’t want to bother them”. The family would feel pretty lonely and unloved. The family probably won’t answer you back and if they do consider yourself lucky, but keep checking in anyway. - Do something, anything. Don’t ask the family how you can help. They won’t tell you and will say they are okay. No one likes to ask for help and most have a very hard time accepting it. Anything you do for the family will be very much appreciated and nothing is the wrong thing to do. - Offer to take pictures at the funeral and at the cemetery. Every picture will be so precious and important...even the casket ones, if they want this. A professional would be best, but any photos will do. Lots of family and friends will be attending so pictures will be welcome. - Deliver a care basket with finger foods such as rolls, cheese and meat, granola bars, muffins, apples, grapes, oranges, trail mix - things to eat quickly but allows them to still get energy to do what they need to do. The family coming into town might not have time to go shopping, so this will really help. Remember to include paper goods so there will be no cooking or dishes that will edd to be dealt with. - Offer to watch their children or pets so they can make funeral arrangements. There are so many details to work out, it’s so exhausting and it all has to happen in a matter of a few days. - Clean their house and put flowers all over while they are at the hospital so they will come home to a bunch of love. - If you are a close friend or family member, ask to help pay bills and organize this area of their life. The bills will keep piling up and it gets overwhelming, so a clear head might help the situation and relieve some stress.
18 l www.swmlife.com
