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Ask Dr. Ron: ‘Are You in Love - or in Need?’ With close to 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, it certainly appears our culture has a problem sustaining relationships. Many people base their relationships on dysfunctional motives, and I usually find it helpful to examine relationships from the perspective of what I call the “Great Relationship Triad” of Want, Need, and Love. What we “want” in choosing our partners is simple to understand. Wanting consists of the physical and personality characteristics we would prefer to see in a significant other. For example; tall, petite, athletic, blonde, brunette, wealthy, artistic, serious, humorous, ect., are some examples of our wants. Different people want different things. Our wants are not to be discounted, they are important considerations, but “want” is not exactly love,
and many people find themselves falling in love with the exact opposite of what they had thought they had wanted. “Need” on the other hand, can be quite a dysfunctional ingredient when assessing a relationship, especially when the essence of the relationship is based upon it…. Please don’t get me wrong, unless seriously schizoid, we are all in need of others to feel complete, and the diagnosis of co-dependency has too often become a simplistic catch-all phrase for every relationship problem. But many couples do enter relationships with excessive & unhealthy neediness, and often exit the same way. For example consider this common scenario. A woman marries a man who is alcoholic, dispassionate, and unproductive. As a child, this woman was raised by an alcoholic
father who never gave her the unconditional love, praise & tenderness any child deserves. Attempting to obtain the validation she never received from her male parent, she becomes drawn to alcoholic men, with an inappropriate need to care for them & gain their approval. (This is a very common scenario folks). A perfect set-up. The alcoholic needs a caretaker, & she needs to care-take. So what do you think might happen one day if her husband decides to make some meaningful change, sobers up, and gets well? I think you get the idea. Often a relationship like this will fall apart as the “binding need” no longer exists...So what about Love? Love is about as hard to define as the universe itself, and I make no pretense to be the one person who can adequately do so! But I’m pretty sure
of a couple of things. It is an attraction based upon respect, and altruism. It is unconditional…A desire to see the person you love prosper and thrive, even without expecting anything in return. Throw in a dash of chemistry, and spirituality and I think one approaches its essence. Wishing you less neediness and more Love…..Dr. Ron. Dr. Ron is in private practice in Hallandale Florida,…. Have a question?… You can contact Dr. Ronald J. Schlossberg Psy.D; CHT ( Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Nationally Certified Hypnotherapist) by mail: 1250 E. Hallandale Beach Blvd Hallandale Fl., or phone (954) 455-7745, or E-mail AskDocRon@aol.com Please indicate if you want your question answered in this column.
Fit Tips that will help improve the way you feel Curb your sweet tooth Got a late-night sugar craving that just won't quit? "To satisfy your sweet tooth without pushing yourself over the calorie edge, even in the late night hours, think 'fruit first,'" says Jackie Newgent, RD, author of The Big Green Cookbook. So resist that chocolate cake siren, and instead enjoy a sliced apple with a tablespoon of nut butter (like peanut or almond) or fresh fig halves spread with ricotta. Then sleep sweet, knowing you're still on the right, healthy track. Buy comfy sneaks You shouldn't buy kicks that hurt, bottom
line! "Your shoes should feel comfortable from the first step," says Andrew Kastor. So shop in the evening—your feet swell during the day and stop in the late afternoon, so you want to shop when they're at their biggest. Also make sure the sneaks are a little roomy—enough so that you can wiggle your toes, but no more than that. They should be comfy from the get-go, but Kastor says they'll be even more so once you have a good 20 to 40 miles on 'em. Police your portions Does your steak take up more than half your plate? Think about cutting your serving of beef
If you would like to submit an announcement for our Community Calendar in the paper or on-line, please call our office at: 954-458-0635 - or via e-mail: SFSUNTIMES@aol.com. The cost per week is $25 for approximately 5 lines. For a complete listing of all Community Calendar items, please check out our website at: www.southfloridasuntimes.com. Also follow us on FACEBOOK at: https://www.facebook.com/sfsuntimes. • Attention: Mental Health Professionals – Explore your opportunity to treat clients in the brief modality protocol of Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) for PTSD or other trauma based events in one to three sessions. Evidence based and 4 year efficacy studies are published. Call toll free 877-675-7153 or visit ARTworksNow.com for training schedule or to contact a staff member. • Attention: Sufferers from PTSD or other trauma based issues, seek a qualified Accelerated Resolution Therapist (ART) or visit ARTworksNow.com for a list of therapists closest to you. Study participants in ongoing trials may be in your area. Toll free 877675-7153 for confidential call. • The City of Hallandale Beach will once again open National Register of Historic Places Villa Providence (Curci Home) located at 324 S W 2nd
in half. That's because it's best to try and fill half your plate with veggies or a mixture of veggies and fresh fruit, says Newgent, so that it's harder to overdo it on the more caloric dishes (like cheesy potatoes or sauce– barbecue slathered ribs—yum!).
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Ave. on Saturday December 3rd 2016 for free Historic Board docent led tours from 11am-4pm. Last tour starts at 3:20 pm, for details or any questions call 954-457-1452. • Coin & Collectible Show - Sunday, December 4th, 2016 at Mardi Gras 831 North Federal Highway, Hallandale Beach, Florida 33009 - 70 dealers - 9:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Harry: (954) 558-5108. S h a c m a n 1 @ g m a i l . c o m . www.GoldCoastCoinClub.com. • American Legion Unit 310: Are monthly Breakfast Dec 4, 2016 . Breakfast includes eggs any style, meat of choice, biscuits and gravy, and homefries, pancakes, toast of choice above includes a bloody mary or a screwdriver and all the coffee you can drink, and come and have some fun and meet with friends. Time 9:30 am thru 12:00 amount for breakfast $ 8.00. Their will be a 50/50 drawing at the breakfast . Every Tuesday, come and have Pizza by Billy. Phone 954-454-6444 address is 225 S.E. 1st Ave Hallandale Beach. • Hallandale Symphonic Pops Orchestra proudly presents its 2016-2017 season. This season shows will be held 12/06/16, 01/10/17, 02/07/17, & 03/07/17. For ticket information, please contact the Pops Box Office at 954-624-6829.
• Leads@Lunch Tuesday December 6 from 11:30a-1:00p Hampton Inn Hallandale Beach/Aventura 1000 South Federal Highway Hallandale Beach Prepay $ 20 Members / $25 Guests At the Door $25 Members / $30 Guests Must RSVP to Attend Chamber 954 454 0541 www.hallandalebeachchamber.com. • The Hallandale Beach library will be having their Fall Book Event on Friday Dec. 9th (from library opening til 3PM) and Saturday Dec 10th (til 3PM), 2016. The location is 300 S Federal Hwy, Hallandale Beach, FL 33009. • Hallandale Beach Chamber Holiday Business Network Exchange Sponsored by Memorial Healthcare Systems Tuesday December 13 5:00p-7:00p III Forks 501 Silks Run Hallandale Beach. Bring a Toy or $10 donation for the Memorial Toy Drive Chamber 954 454 0541 www.hallandalebeachchamber.com. • Santa and his reindeer on his Sleigh will be traveling throughout Hallandale Beach on Christmas Eve, December 24th with gifts for all the children of our City. Please come out to greet Santa when you hear the music that accompanies him as he makes his rounds.
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Published on Nov 30, 2016
The South Florida Sun Times covers Hallandale Beach, Hollywood, Aventura, Sunny isles Beach, North Miami, Dania Beach, Bal Harbor, Bay Harbo...