FAMILY MATTERS Every Spring I have a tendency to reflect on new beginnings, rebirth, and change. With Spring comes hope for new opportunities. A chance to grow. On a daily basis I see this feeling and energy exhibited in the work the residents of Step Denver are doing on themselves. I am continually inspired by their efforts to overcome the consequences and challenges of the place they have found themselves, as a result of their disease of addiction. These men are coming out of the winter of their lives. Each Spring we plant seeds. And the seeds of opportunity for these men have been provided by you. Your gifts both large and small have provided our men with the foundation to begin again. But your support has had an impact that goes far beyond the individual resident. In this newsletter we wanted to give you the chance to experience a perspective that is not often seen – the effect on the family. While active in addiction, men not only cause harm to themselves, but also harm their families. All who love them live in a constant state of worry, fear, anxiety, and emotional and psychological despair. I can’t help but be reminded of my own experience. I took advantage of the love and concern that my parents had for me. My disease precluded my ability to see or care about the pain I was causing my family as I took advantage of their love for me. I lied to them, took their money and food, hid my criminal consequences, and numerous other things - not feeling the slightest sense of remorse. Oh, I made promises though. I promised to change. I promised to get a job. I promised not to ask for money again. The list went on. And part of them wanted to believe those promises.
They wanted me to get better, to change. They wanted to know that they had succeeded in raising a healthy adult that could take care of himself. And, they wanted to know that the child they love was going to be okay; thus, the cycle of enablement continued. At a certain point though it became obvious to my parents that I was not going to change. And at that point they did the best thing they could have done for me. They cut me off. And as the consequences piled up and there was nowhere else to turn, I finally became willing to enter into a life of recovery. I had to be accountable for myself, personally responsible for my actions and choices, and become self-sufficient. This is what we teach our men at Step. Part of what you plant with your gifts is the ability for us to have a Family Reconciliation component of our program. We do it a bit differently at Step. Rather than conduct family group sessions, we bring in a Family Therapist to teach our men how to repair the relationships themselves. We teach them that in the process, they need to be patient. It took years for their relationships to be damaged and to lose the trust of family. The men are encouraged to understand that rebuilding won’t happen overnight. As the rebuilding process takes root, the family can see through the man’s actions – not their words – that real change and growth is happening. The ripple effect this has on family members is substantial, and their emotional wellbeing too has an impact on everyone they touch in their daily lives. The stories you’re about to read are just a small sampling of what YOU have made possible. By helping one man, you have helped more people than you might have known. Our gratitude is beyond measure. - Paul Scudo, Executive Director
Joe
"I’m so glad this was able to happen. It was the best feeling in the world. Thank you guys for everything." - Joe Palmer, Resident
"I wanted to let you know how proud I am of my son, Joe. He is back to being good hearted, kind, and his smile has returned. There was a lot of bad times before. But now he is very loving. I know every day is a struggle for him but I know he will make it. I just want to thank him so much for being sober. "Joe, I love you from the bottom of my heart." VISITING FAMILY IN OHIO
- Your Proud Mother