The AND Guide Feb/March 2017web

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SOUTHAMPTON’S original KICK-bottom Listings, Reviews & Comment PAPER! GIGS, SHOWS, FAMILY EVENTS & ER ... ASTRONOMY BI-monthly. issue 19 : february / march 2017

DAILY LISTINGS FOR FEB’ & MARCH

IT’S OUR 3RD BIRTHDAY, AND WHAT WE’D really LIKE IS £ 250K for greg!

Cover: feb/march 08 cover of our daddy... ‘and magazine’. featuring southampton’s ‘delays’. see page 18 for crap news & how you can help!

Congratulations to The AND Guide on reaching 3rd Birthday milestone!

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Hello AND Land! I cant believe its only our 3rd Birthday!

Can’t believe its only three years to be honest. Seems like The AND Guide has been around forever. In fact its amazing how many people still call it AND Magazine! Even my team that write the articles!

It’s The AND Guide! AND always typed in caps, preceded by ‘The’ unless it sounds really stupid. There is a grammatical explanation of when it should be done, but as I’ve orften explained … I’m not a real editor. Well I am, but not one of those educated types (my old English teacher Dai Davies at Bellemoor, would I’ve no doubt take me to task over this waste of 50 lines!) with letters after my name. Although I often wonder why not, the amount of times I have to correct the grammar of some of the graduates I’ve had working for me. The ability to abbreviate the Gettysburg Address so you can tweet it to President Trump, doesn’t really cut it for me in a conversationalist paper, which I truly hope this is? Yes I want it to serve as the catalyst for getting the good people of Southampton out enjoying themselves, but for those that just cant, I want it be like a friend chatting across the table with a nice slice of cake ... or three.

The only sporting trohy I’ve won in recent years, presented with all due sincerity from my beloved skipper Alan ‘Skip’ Buchanan. For any cricketers out there I’ll say no more, other than, “It won’t happen again!

MEET THE PEAS Did you find them hiding in the Last issue?

Really? It’s meant to be for kids.

Better luck this issue then!

Can you find Annie? She’s in every issue of course!

I must say all of us at The AND Guide are truly humbled by the response and warmth to our little comic. If you’ve checked out the Premium Outlets spread recently you’ll notice I’ve simply run out of room to accommodate all the place that ask to stock it. Going back to AND Magazine it was impossible for me to get any of the corporate chains to stock it. No they didn’t want local in their lush cafes, apart from local people of course spending their local pennies. But in the main that’s all changed with me often being asked by Starbucks, Costa’s etc to bring some more in because “we’ve run out, the customers just take them”.

But while I’m prattling on about how lucky we’ve been with The AND Guide, I’m minded that a young man I featured not so long ago on the cover of AND Magazine is not currently being so lucky. The young man is of course Greg Gilbert of the fab Southampton band DELAYS and more recently an unbelievably good artist of micro pictures which he does with a biro! Success is just around the corner for Greg, hopefully. Unfortunately he’s been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs. There is medication but his particular DNA rejects it. The only other treatment isn’t on the NHS. AND if you haven’t heard of the fundraising activity this amazing city has kicked into action on his behalf then you really do need to get out more!

But miracles do happen. I’m living proof. At 10 I had Rhumatic Fever and a zillion complications left me paralised and in hospital for the best part of 1968. I was so lucky. Not only did I do sport again but I went onto to represent Southampton, confounding all the doctors expectations. 6 years ago another bombshell … throat cancer. Not only that but they didn’t know exactly where it was. But yet again I was lucky, so lucky that I even got my place back in Hedge End Vets becoming the oldest player to ever score for them. Losing 5 stone certainly made me quicker around the pitch, even if I did have to place 20 water bottles around the entire touchline! The thing is I’m only telling you this because I want to show that miracles really do happen (I’m actually pretty private about these things). But so many people I talk to just think it’s a done deal as soon as they hear the word cancer and that needs to change. Yes it can be. But a kick arse attitude with the right care and medication is a formidable opponent to the big C. I urge you to visit Greg’s page and donate something. Anything at all. Go to one or all of the amazing concerts at The Brook, 1865 and others raising money for him. It will help. If we all do a little it won’t half help a lot!

www.gofundme.com/give4greg Anyway not meaning to bring you all down. Enjoy the issue. It’s a massive 40 pages again. This time with even more stuff in it. If you can’t find anything you like inside these pages you’re just not trying.

Thanks as usual to my wonderful team for their hard work and support and a big AND Land welcome to our new Astrology columnist Cliff Bryant!

Take very good care folks and thanks again for supporting the paper. It’s put together with love and affection by: Paul Ridge, Louise Beach Steel, Barry Upton, Matt Black, Ellen Cotter, Ed Hailwood, Chris Barfoot, Russell Cook, Tina Wellman, Martin Boorman, Rosalind Fountain, Stuart Davis, Tony Wright, Jezz Phipp, Cliff (Cliffy) Bryant, Lucy McNeil, Tony Long, David Walker, Keith Curtis, Mike Yarney, Alan Buchanan, Rob Worley, my spiritual advisors Annie Philpott and Steve Ellis and my long suffering wife Tracey. I’d also like to thank my new delivery army of Loraine and everyone at The Frog & Frigate, PS super fan Maureen, Julie Ellis. and Phil Belcher. I’ve never felt so spoilt!

theandguide@mail.com www.facebook.com/theandguide 07969 174 586

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page 5

Stu’s live music picks Stuart Davis NATTY

HEY

THE OSMONDS

In what had already been a difficult year for music in general, December 18th 2016 will go down as a day that Southampton's music scene suffered a big loss with the closure of Notes Cafe. A vibrant, alluring and friendly enterprise, it was highly regarded by everyone who visited it and, having performed there myself, I can confirm that it was a joy to play at too. The same fate has also befallen other landmark gig places in recent times including the revered Cellars in Portsmouth.

The likes of The Brook and the Talking Heads have also seen worrying times which they have thankfully come through.

We are blessed with some great live establishments in the south of all varieties and they should be treasured and not taken for granted - history shows us that we risk losing them if we do. [So don’t!

Ed] It goes without saying that once again there are plenty of fantastic enticements on offer over the next couple of months

STILL MOVING DJ’S Amongst the impressive stream of talent gushing into the The Brook are Rockabilly veterans ‘The Polecats’, dub reggae dance folk rock fusionists ‘Dreadzone’, lively ska revivalists ‘The Beat’, prominent blues harpist ‘Paul Lamb and his Kingsnakes’, and the ethereal prog rock of ‘Karnataka’.

UB40, Kate Bush, Madness, Meatloaf, Green Day, Guns n Roses, The Doors, Bob Marley, The Smiths, ZZ Top, Style Council and Oasis read like a list of names from the Rock n Roll hall of fame but it is also the Brooks mouthwatering upcoming list of bands that will be given the tribute treatment in February and March.

The Talking Heads ever variegated menu of enchantments includes roots reggae connoisseurs ‘Natty and the Rebel Ship’, highly praised blues axeman ‘Ben Poole’, Bristol’s ‘Gaz Brookfield’, ‘the Marco Mendoza band’ and Manchester punk forefathers ‘Slaughter and the Dogs’, who luminaries such as Green Day, Stone Roses and Oasis have all tipped their hats to when citing influences. Sheffield rockers ‘Sherlocks’ are well worth investigating as are Brighton skankers ‘The Bar Stool Preacher’s, Viking riff lords ‘Grand Magus and the vivaciously dynamic ‘Courtesans’. If folk rock floats your boat then you'll want to check out the gloriously raucous ‘Mad dog Mcrea's’ merging of folk gypsy jazz and bluegrass as they plug their latest opus 'Almost Home' and also the blistering ‘Ferocious Dog’, who have been described by John Robb from Louder than War magazine as “the music business's worst nightmare, a band that are going to make it without anyone’s permission”!

Finally ‘The Uplifters’ intoxicating blend of ska dub and reggae is guaranteed to elevate you to new heights of musical gratification, those who go may want to note that pints of Guinness make them perform even better, just saying!

The Uplifters eclectic alter-ego ‘Still Moving DJ’s’ will be at (new venue alert!!) Mango No 5 in Ocean Village, which also features the chilled out sounds of pianist ‘Archie Combe’ and very aptly named Latin guitarist ‘Steve Picken’.

NME endorsed Glaswegian 4-piece

KATE NASH

OUR-PROPAGANDA ‘Catholic Action’ will be offering a melodically spiritual experience at the NME approved Joiners where you can also bask in the charms of much touted Leeds Indie rockers ‘Menace Beach’, Mask wearing Wisconsin combo ‘Masked Intruder’, New York heavyweights ‘State Champs’, the sassy ‘Evarose’, Manchester’s most exciting new band ‘Cabbage’ and ‘Blaenavon’ who will be showcasing their new album 'That's your lot' (and probably saying that at the end of the show too).

The 1865 is now resolutely embedded into the heart of Southampton and its upcoming lures include a wealth of infectious songs from ‘Modern Baseball’, singer songwriter ‘Hazel O’Connor’, popular Polish rockers ‘Hey’, the beautiful and very talented ‘Jo Harman’ and last but by no means least, a heavy metal tribute to the Bees Gees and the disco movement from Tragedy.. That’s Jive talkin’, the way I like it!

Over at The Guildhall pop punks ‘Sum 41’ and ‘All time Low’ and veteran punks ‘The Stranglers’ will all be strutting their stuff along with indie darlings ‘2 Door Cinema club’, old school rockers ‘Thunder’ and, for those who prefer things a little more mellow, ‘The Southampton Philharmonic Choir’.

Solitary covers outfit ‘Recluse’, ‘Our Propaganda’ and the eccentrically entertaining ‘Sweetchunks band’ are just some of the burning hot magnetisms on offer at The Firehouse whilst over at blues central The Platform Tavern you’ll discover ‘Jinder’, ‘Andy Grant Trio’ and US roots/blues exponent ‘Bob Cheevers’ doing their thing.

Turner Sims sees ‘Paul Lewis’ performing Bachs Partita No 1 and ‘Joe Silgo’ performing film songs whilst at the Stage Door ‘Rich Cottrell’ will bringing a beam to punters’ faces with his brand of feel good indie pop.

But it isn’t just the larger places that have the monopoly, you can also experience the best in what’s happening locally at The Frog and Frigate, The Orange Rooms, The Horse and Jockey (Curbridge), The Windsor Castle, The Old George (Fair Oak), Mettricks, The Alexandra, The Navigator (Swanwick), The Swan (Woolston), The Art House,

The Hobbit, The Dolphin (St Denys), The Wheatsheaf (Shedfield), The Kings Head (Wickham), The Red Lion (Stubbington), the Brewery Bar (Botley) and the Strawberry Fields Tavern (Locks Heath), where (shameless plugging time!) you will be able to catch the rock/pop covers band I play in, ‘Mista Messy’, on Friday 17th February.

Hope to see you there.

Soaring into action at The Concorde in Eastleigh will be those crazy horses ‘The Osmonds’, the voice of countless commercials ‘Marlene Verplanck’, British vocal troupe ‘G4’ and cider guzzling hell raisers ‘The Wurzels’. As usual you can also enjoy a healthy dose of Jazz (‘Chris Ingham Quartet’, ‘Jivin Miss Daisy’, ‘Sussex Jazz Kings’) and Tributes (Bob Marley, Franki Valli and the 4 Seasons, Stylistics, George Michael, Five).

Just down the road in Portsmouth, the Wedgewood Rooms, now in its 25th year, plays host to riff heavy power trio ‘The Brent Hutchinson band’, front row style icon and multi-instrumentalist ‘Kate Nash’, sprightly ska mainstays ‘Orange Street’, lauded songwriter ‘Laurel’, heartfelt venter’s ‘Vant’, electronica collective ‘The Dub Pistols’, enchanting dance chanteuse ‘Sophie Ellis Bextor’ and Leeds’ beloved ‘The Pigeon Detectives’. You also won’t want to miss straight out of Surrey chap hop pioneer ‘Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer’.

Fiery punk is very much on the agenda at the Rifle Club courtesy of ‘The Members’ and ‘The UK Ramones’ and over at the Kings Theatre you can relive the magic of the Big O with ‘The Roy Orbison story’ and the ahem, magic of Take That with ‘Rule the World’.

Whilst at the New Theatre Royal you can re-experience ‘Abbamania’ and be part of an audience with UK soprano queen ‘Lesley Garrett’.

The Guildhall opens its doors to Essex wedding crashers ‘Busted’, ‘Mike and the Mechanics’, the classy classical ivory tinkling of the ‘Lawson Piano Trio’ and also plays host to 'Beating Heart 2017' which will be raising money for 'Cash for Kids and the Portsmouth Cultural Trust in an event headlined by ‘The Hoosiers’ and featuring multitude of top local support acts.

KINGSNAKE The Temptations in ripped Jeans producing gritty centred songs in a sugary nut shell or ‘The Christians’ as they are also known, will be gracing the stage at Ferneham Hall in Fareham as will engaging Cockney virtuosos ‘Chas N Dave’ and 60s pop staples ‘The Manfreds’ and fast-tracking their way to The Railway in Winchester will be enigmatic DIY multi-instrumentalist ‘Karl Blau’, ex Bucks Fizz siren ‘Shelly Preston’, gravel throated blues man ‘Big Boy Bloater’, the captivating 'Me for Queen’, ‘Chuck Prophet and the Mission Express’, high energy pop duo ‘Rews’, ‘Fighting Caravans’ and the roots conscious folk of ‘Hurray for the Riff Raff’.

Go west a bit to Bournemouth and you'll locate persevering synth pop duo ‘The Pet Shop Boys’ treading the boards at The BIC alongside ‘Elbow’, ‘Olly Murs’, the riotous Kaiser Chiefs, comedians ‘Rob Brydon’, ‘Ricky Gervais’ and ‘Ross Noble, whilst the nearby 02 Academy welcomes ‘James Arthur’, reggae legends ‘The Wailers’ and rock supergroup ‘Black Star Ryders’ (featuring ex members of Thin Lizzy, The Almighty and Alice Cooper).

Fuelling Mr Kyps you can relish the brilliance of dub ska roots’ 9 piece ‘Gentleman’s Dub Club’, ‘Julie Hanlon’, comedic rap chavs ‘Goldie Lookin Chain’ and folk punks ‘Blackwater County's’ own melodic brand of chaos and destruction.

This region and this country have produced some of the greatest and most talented artists of all time, spanning all genres and eras of music, but without a live music scene not many of these artists would have survived and prospered. If we continue to lose venues such as Notes Cafe we won’t have a live music scene for the stars of yesterday, today and tomorrow to thrive in and limited to enduring an endless stream of TV karaoke puppets in their fifteen minutes of fame. We have a local music scene to be proud of, but it needs your support, get out there and help keep music live! [AND so say all of us! Ed] www.thinkermusic.co.uk

mobile beauty and holistic therapist

THe party dj Paul Taylor

How to find a DJ for your wedding I’m delighted to have been asked as a guest columnist this issue. It all came about over breakfast. Those of you that know Martin will know what I mean. A lot of useful business to be done over a full English, particularly one as full as The Big Blue Box cafe in Totton. But first I must raise a cup and say “ Three years on AND growing stronger, Congratulations AND here’s to the next three AND beyond! Mug of tea raised to everyone. Cheers! ” AND hoping that’s given me another column, here’s my first on booking someone from my industry.

Please beware, booking a DJ for your wedding can be a minefield. This person is going to be responsible, for entertaining your friends and family for the final hours of your wedding. The standard available varies dramatically - anyone can call themselves a DJ, so make sure you find a great one.

Like many things to do with a wedding, you will find there are a huge range of fees.

There are many reasons for this but please consider this, do you want an amateur or an experienced professional. It’s a good idea to think about what is important to you when allocating your budget.

When to book your DJ is another question you may ask - the answer is possibly dependent again on how important you consider this service. I suggest, the sooner the better a DJ, like a photographer and many other wedding related services can only be in one place at a time. Book your DJ and it’s one more thing ticked off the list, but don’t rush and use the tips I offer below.

It’s also worth considering that a DJ may be able to help you with much more than the evening party. Some DJ’s now offer an all-day service providing music from the ceremony throughout the day often with a personalised MC (Master of Ceremonies) service.

The music the bride enters the wedding ceremony to sets the tone for the whole day.

Here are three pointers to set you on the right path. These criteria can be adopted when looking for all your wedding suppliers.

1. CONSIDER AND CONSULT Have you already seen one you liked?

Speak to friends and family - especially ones who’ve been married recently Ask other suppliers for their recommendations 2. RESEARCH AND QUESTION Are they a proper business?

Have they been doing it long?

Do they have required certification - insurance and P.A.T. certificates? Do they do what you want?

(Style of music, type of presentation, etc) Are they happy for you to contact previous clients?

Is the person you speak to actually going to be your DJ?

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What happens in the event of them being unable to DJ for you?

Do they have good advice to help you?

Do they offer a guarantee?

3. MAKE IT PERSONAL. Do you really like them and want them to share in your wedding day?

So, in conclusion, seek the opinions of people you can trust, make sure this person actually can DJ and provide the service you require, and build a relationship with them.

Paul Taylor ~ The Party DJ, The WOW Wedding Guy and proud to be a member of The Hampshire Wedding Group. Nominated in the Wedding Industry Awards for the last four years.

JOIN US FOR MOTHERS DAY 26th MARCH

www.thepartydj.co.uk

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the city’s best ... empowering the and guide

page 7

“WRITE ABOUT ANYTHING”

THE legal EAGLE

he said! Well that narrows it down?

I think I’ll write about er ... me. Matt Black

David Walker

How to end a contract without being sued As a lawyer who looks after small business owners and entrepreneurs, my life often revolves around contracts – particularly contracts between suppliers and their clients. I’m either writing them, suing people for breach of them, defending them, or sometimes trying to get people out of them.

It’s this last point that I want to talk about today, because unless you do this properly, you’re likely to be sued by the other party – even if they’re the one in the wrong!

I’m going to look at this from the perspective of a supplier who wants to terminate the supply of services to their client, but the principles are the same for any contract you are a party to.

So, how do you terminate a contact early without being sued?

First, don’t just stop working for your client. If you do, chances are that you will be the one in breach of contract.

Instead, you need to make sure you have the right to terminate the contract early.

There are many reasons why you may not want to work with your client any

Understanding whether you have the right to terminate early and then how you go about it, should be nice and simple if you are using written terms and conditions for your business. However, if you’re not and you’re relying on a verbal agreement the situation is likely to be far from clear and you will have to tread very carefully.

First, you have to be very sure of the terms of the contact you entered into and this isn’t easy when there isn’t a written record of them. Then you have to be clear that your client has breached these terms and this breach entitles you to terminate.

Once you have established these points, you must give “reasonable” notice of termination. The trouble is, what's reasonable to you may not be reasonable to your client.

As you can imagine, all of this can easily lead to a dispute which will be costly in terms of the time and money you have to invest into resolving it.

Therefore, you might want to look at alternatives to actually terminating the contract to achieve the outcome you’re looking for.

For example, if your client is slow in paying but you think they will pay if some pressure is put on them, you could

Understanding whether you have the right to terminate early and then how you go about it, should be nice and simple if you are using written terms and conditions for your business. However, if you’re not and you’re relying on a verbal agreement the situation is likely to be far from clear and you will have to tread very carefully. more. For example, they may not have paid, they may have become insolvent, or they may not be complying with their obligations under the contract.

Sometimes, your client may not have done anything wrong. Instead, you want to terminate the contract early because, for example, it’s no longer profitable for you to provide the service.

Therefore, look at your contract. If you’re using properly prepared terms and conditions, they should tell you whether or not you have the right to terminate the contract in your particular circumstances.

Once you are confident that you can terminate the contract early, it’s really important that you follow the proper procedure to do so.

If you don’t this, it could give your client the right to sue you. For example, your contract may say that to terminate your contract you have to send a written notice to your client’s registered office. If you don’t do this and send an email instead (even if it’s to the managing director), the notice is unlikely to be valid.

You may not realise it, but after sending your email you will still be bound by the contract. If you then stop working, and don’t deliver the service on time, your client could sue you for breach of contract!

temporarily suspend the provision of your services. Other times you may wish to increase prices by changing the terms of the contract.

Ending a contract early can be risky if you don’t get it right and this is why properly prepared contracts are so important.

Many business owners overlook the importance of having properly prepared terms and conditions, but they can be invaluable in circumstances where you need to get out of a difficult situation and end the contract early.

If you don’t have proper terms and conditions for your business, or if you think your current terms could do with an overhaul, please feel free to email me at dwalker@gridlaw.com. I’ll be happy to talk things through with you on a no obligation basis.

www.gridlaw.com

Hi, I'm Matt Black, Some of you may have heard my name (and some of those will have seen it on the side of a pot of paint!), but most will have not. I am a pianist/comedian/ songwriter/ record producer/columnist/gift guide ... (see below).

matt black’s playing by ear ... as usual!

AUDIENCE MEMBER, ' OOO I LOVE THE WAY YOU PLAY THE PIANO!' ME, ' WHY, THANK YOU!' AUDIENCE MEMBER, ' HOW MANY LESSONS WOULD YOU NEED TO GIVE ME BEFORE I PLAY LIKE THAT?'' ME, ' . . EEEERM?'' That happens quite a lot – and although it's lovely … it's not that simple.

You see I play by ear – I don't use printed notes on paper to play a song, I happen to be able to use an inner instinct to guide me.

If you think about it Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles HAD to play by ear.

But that's not as rare as you may think, many many gigging musicians are the same and I suppose the simplest way to make a comparison would be that people who play by ear are more like people who are good at conversation, and musicians who 'Read The Dots' are akin to newsreaders - both require different skills - and probably even different mindsets.

It's very possible to have both sets of skills neither affects the other - one helps the other in many many ways. But I am not a reader.

I have found myself thinking a lot about how people learn to play any musical instrument, and come to the conclusion that playing a musical instrument by ear is very much like speaking a foreign language.

Imagine you are transported to a foreign country let's say China, and you cannot speak the language at all, if you are in a situation like that your motivation to speak Chinese is very very high and so within a matter of days or weeks you will be speaking Chinese.

I believe this is the same for playing a musical instrument, be it the guitar, the piano, or the flute, if you are transported to Guitar Land and the only way you can can converse with anybody is through the guitar then you will learn very very quickly - what is missing from learning a musical instrument this quickly at home is the motivation and the practice.

Consequently the more used to that particular language you get, the more fluent you are in it and you start to develop an accent and expressions that come from only you - it's at that point that you start to really speak through your instrument, and people really start to understand what you're saying.

You never really stop learning once you play any musical instrument, and I firmly believe that it is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world.

I don't find it easy teaching anyone to play the piano because I am not sure where it comes from in the first place but I'm pretty sure that the above method is how I learned, although at the time I wasn't really aware of it.

So if you want to play the piano or the guitar or any musical instrument just buy your chosen weapon and go for it, it's not as hard as it seems.

Oh and the relevance of the Dorset Knob biscuits? Well I thought this was all getting a bit serious for me so I’ve included a playfull picture sent to me by a good friend of both me and the editor, who is an excellent reader, Tony Wright and to be fair also a pretty tasty conversationalist musically. I’ve occasionally been referred to as one of these biscuits. Usually by the editor. So Tony mocked up a little picture with our alleged leader on it. It made I laugh!

If I’m still here next issue you can assume he didn’t see it.

Bye for now ... I’ll leave you with a little quip to make up for the rest of my article.

A female vocalist asks her keyboard player, "I'd like to do 'My Funny Valentine' tonight... but can you think of a way to 'jazz' it up?" Keyboard player replies, "Sure, we can do the first chorus in G minor, then modulate to G#minor for the second chorus in 5/4 time, then modulate to A minor in 3/4 time for the bridge, then cut off the last 3 bars!" She claims, "that might be too complicated to do without a rehearsal!" Keyboard player responds, "Well, that's how you did it last night!"

matt-black.org

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“Well done Martin & team! 3 fantastic years repairing our faith in local media!”

the city’s best ... empowering the and guide

Meet the Southampton Ambassadors Martin Perry

Launched in 2012, Southampton Ambassadors is my project to encourage the city’s elite, big and small, to join together for mutual benefit and the good of the Southampton area.

AND its working!

Our aim is to inspire and galvanise business and pride within Southampton and interest from outside. Whatever you need, I recommend checking out a Southampton Ambassador first. This isn’t any of those ‘buy a badge’ to say how good you are.

They are there because I am convinced they are very good at what they do. AND I value my reputation!

So look out 2017! Southampton Ambassadors are back on the case and looking to politely (sometimes) kick our good but lethargic city up the backside!

If you’d like to get involved. You can start

by LIKING our Facebook page at:

Facebook.com/Southamptoncity

If you’re interested in joining ... to qualify you need to be emotionally sympathetic or connected to Southampton, proposed by an existing Ambassador, seconded by another, agreed by me and pay the fee. Oh and of course, you and whatever you do, needs to be proven as recommendable. Which is why I personally vouch for all the people and business on the right. So if you are looking for anything in Southampton from financial advice to a new kitchen, a second hand car to a new website, or new windows and a wedding entertainer ... try them first. They will not let you down. Tell them I sent you.

ANDY LAI

or visiting

southamptonambassadors.com

our first breakfast meeting does the trick!

Email me at: theandguide@mail.com

No, I am not a Dalek (Note to self: Never ask a magician to a breakfast)

A few weeks ago after years of nagging, I conceded to doing our first breakfast meeting. I don’t do mornings as anyone that’s ever known me will tell you, certainly all my police sergeants!

Didn’t know I was formerly a member of the Constabulary? Yep, 5 years. Ringwood, Gosport and Portsmouth. I used to keep my roots pretty quiet then I can tell you! Buy me a few beers and I might tell you how I’m infamously remembered for being in charge when an abnormal load I was escorting demolished all the street lights along the Eastern Road. I thought it did them all a favour, but its just a point of view? Left in ... cough, a long time ago to join a rock band and the rest is history) Anyway back to not doing mornings.

Having committed to the meeting I was insistent that it be different. No getting up for a rubber egg and having some boring salesperson shove their business card in my unwoken face. So I enlisted the help of fellow Ambassador and bisiness guru Colin Phillips.

But I wanted him as his alter ego the Master Magician! Yes these meetings would be fun, useful, with a great breakfast but fun.

Well I should have thought the fun bit through a little.

So, 6.45am Friday 20th January I was outside the very accomodation Navigator at Swanwick peering through the window. Precisely what transpired will never leave the room. Suffice to say the picture tells is a fair indication. But, it must have had some virtues as all have said they want to be at the next one! Even with the Dalek. I’ll let you know!

The Navigator at Swanwick To be fair we were spoilt for choice. Healthy option me opting for a simple Eggs Royal. Yes its a hard life.

The face of Rob Worley (I thought it was only fair)

ANDY LAI

Left to right: The hands of Rob Worley - TPS PaperlinX (note to team: must get a better photographer along) Andy Lai - Chinese Association, Jenny Todd Silk Bow Bookeeeping, Lou Taylor Streetside Media, Spencer Bowman - Mettricks, Me, Colin Phillips - Colin Phillips Magic, Colin Breckinridge - BandV, Pam Bates - Countess Mountbetton Hospice Charity, Michael Kurn Kurn & Kurn Ltd and taking the picture my alleged PA, the lovely Jenny Fletcher.

Some of the good causes, projects and charities we support

The Milky Way

february / march 2017

The column you can read between meals [Sorry Cliff not sure if the title is correct? I ran a competition on Facebook and Martin boorman won it with this. Made me a laugh anyway. You ‘re lucky I didn’t choose one of the other suggestions.

Somethin to with a certain planet and a moon Ed] Cliff

February and March 2017 This is a brief look at what is in our night skies during February and March this year. My very good pal has finally caved in and granted me permission to tell you what I’ve been passionate about and boring the socks off him for many years… astronomy! [I added the boring the socks off bit. Ed] I have known ‘the’ Martin Perry for many Moons. He says he even remembers me making a model of the Saturn V Rocket when we were kids together. Well I remember him pinging his first guitar strings and look what happened! [Actually Cliff I think you showed me my first chord. I’ve nearly got it cracked too. Ed] I have always loved Astronomy, and bought a small telescope about 15 plus years ago, then in Cash Converters looking for a Lawn Mower my wife mentioned to me did I see the telescope, no I didn’t, it was a 10” Dobsonian, well I bought it, then things took off for me.

This column is a lighthearted way to tell you what to look out for in our Night Sky over the 2 months of the publication. There will be Tips on What Telescopes to start with, what Free Apps are useful, useful Books on Astronomy, Clubs in the Area, Planetarium Shows worth seeing, where to buy Astronomical gear and Question’s and Answers.

Most of the Moon photo’s taken will be taken by myself, with my mobile phone through one of my telescopes, Planets will be through my Web Cam, black and white at the moment, I’ll get to colour later!

I hope you enjoy the Column and will look up to the night sky abit more and understand abit more about what is above us, it truly is amazing.

Bryant

THE MOON A Jewel in our Sky that we simply take for granted, with Binoculars you can just make out some craters, but she comes into her own with a small or larger telescope, it is best to view when higher in the sky and at a Crescent, Quarter or Half Phase, you will see the mountains, valley’s, craters and all this constantly changing as the shadows move across her surface. For Telescopes it is well worth spending a few bob on a Moon Filter as she is so bright, the glare will hurt your eyes after awhile.

ORION with the famous 3 Star Belt, just below the belt hanging down like a sword is the Orion Nebula appearing as a small smudge with the naked eye, through a telescope you can see the dust cloud, where new stars are being born, a beautiful sight, it won’t be like the coloured photo’s we see, but Black and White as this is the only light our eyes can receive, but still spectacular. Follow the line of the 3 stars of the belt to the left to a bright star called Sirius, the brightest star in the night sky. Also in the Constellation of Orion top left, there is Betelgeuse a red supergiant that is about to end its life and explode, when it explodes it will even be visible during the day. Bottom right is Rigel, a very Hot BlueWhite Supergiant Star that is approximately 100 times the size of our Sun. Tip: If you have bought a telescope and you hardly use it, maybe you found it hard to find the object you are trying to find. The importance of zeroing in the Small Finder Scope to the Main Scope maybe the issue. Do this during the day, line your main scope up say with the corner of a lamp post and then turn the small knobs on the Finder Scope so the centre of the same image is in the middle of your Finder Scope. Then at night because the Finder Scope has a much wider field of view, it will be alot easier for you to go straight to the Moon, Jupiter etc, You may still need to tweak it occasionally in future, then start with low magnification eye pieces and replace them with higher ones if you wish, low magnification is sometimes alot better.

Wishing you clear skies.

Cliff

VENUS I have been asked so many times over the last month, what is that bright star in the west, well it’s not a star, it’s our twin planet Venus. If you look with a pair of binoculars or telescope you will not see a bright disc, but half a disc, it has phases just like the moon, because it is closer to the Sun. With the outer planets we see the full disc as they are further away from the Sun than we are. With a decent telescope you can’t see any detail of the surface of Venus, because of the cloudy atmosphere, but sometimes cloud definition can be seen, it is still a great sight. Venus comes closer to us than any other planet, 26 million miles sometimes, it will be at it’s highest in the sky during the first two weeks of February, slowly getting lower every evening thereafter, but the third week of February she will have it’s greatest brilliancy.

MARS is very close to Venus through February, just above and to the left, it is salmon pink in colour. The planet itself is moving away from us and is heading towards to opposite side of the Sun to us. She appears very small and so viewing surface features with a telescope would be difficult. With the Moon and Venus close it’s still a lovely sight in the evening sky.

PLEIADES appears high in the sky this time of year and from a town may appear as a grey smudge with a few stars (to me it does), but in darker skies one can make our at least seven plus stars, she is otherwise known as the Seven Sisters, I always called it the Small Saucepan. It is the closest Star Cluster to us with over 1000 Stars statistically confirmed. A stunning sight through Binoculars or a Small Telescope.

Jan 2017, taken with a my mobile phone through a my telescope, in Shirley.

[Really? That’s actually pretty impressive Cliff. A Galaxy was it? Ed]

Film Review Paul Ridge

A MONSTER CALLS (PG) Heartbreaking real world fantasy about a boy facing up to losing his mother to cancer, directed by JA Bayona and starring Lewis MacDougall, Sigourney Weaver, Felicity Jones and the voice of Liam Neeson.

Sometimes a film hits you so hard you just want to run out and tell everyone you know to go and watch it.

A Monster Calls is one of those movies, but with one caveat : if you or anyone close to you has lost someone recently, especially any children younger than about ten or eleven, I would warn you to maybe hold off for a while because although absolutely wonderful in every conceivable way, the movie is also at times a very painful watch.

It's one of those incredibly uplifting but simultaneously devastating pictures that will leave you sobbing with wonder at what you've just witnessed.

I never read the book, but by all accounts no film could ever do it justice .. well, I think maybe this one did.

Visually, it's easily the most beautiful movie I've seen in years. The cinematography, the design, the animation - which doesn't even appear until almost halfway through - and the seamless blend of fantasy with reality, from the drawn pages of a boy's sketchbook through to the grim and gloomy timeless world that he inhabits, everything flows so naturally. It's a dreary place that evokes Tim Burton and Roald Dahl at their darkest, familiar to anyone who's watched anything slightly gothic between the original Willy Wonka movie and last year's BFG. The monster is powerful, scary and reassuring all at the same time, voiced with aplomb

by Liam Neeson, who brings forth more than a touch of The Lord Of The Rings' Treebeard, while the animation of him is reminiscent of the untouchable Iron Giant. Are you with me yet?

This ranks right up there with all the classic children's fantasy tales ever told, it's that good.

And yet .. I don't think children should watch it. It's too real.

Even now, sitting here at the keyboard, I'm welling up thinking about the emotions unleashed by the picture. My own mother passed away nearly twenty years ago, but it all came flooding back - literally - during the last half-hour of A Monster Calls.

But you must watch it .. just don't say I didn't warn you. It deserves a wider audience.

It's much better than Fantastic Beasts, but it had a fraction of the marketing budget, but

that's how Hollywood works until word of mouth gets out and brings a classic to the fore, in the manner of, say, The Shawshank Redemption. It tanked on release, but is now lauded as one of the greatest movies ever made, and by all accounts A Monster Calls has been disappointing at the box office .. but not for anyone who's seen it.

The story revolves around Conor, a lonely kid of about twelve, who lives with his mum.

His dad lives in America now and the only other family he has is the frankly quite scary Grandma, played with relish by Sigourney Weaver. The world seems pretty black and white to him .. though mostly black. There's good (his mum) and evil (everyone else) and not much inbetween ... which is where the monster comes in.

It's part morality tale, part a rite of passage, though both have come far too early for Conor, yet that's what makes the story so endearing, so heart-wrenching and so real.

As with most great children's tales, the kids are usually the calm centre of the storm and the idiots that are running around causing havoc are the grown-ups ..

But that's all I'm going to say about the plot because this is one movie above all others that I don't want to spoil. You know the basic plot already : for the details, you must see it yourself.

A MONSTER CALLS IS A MASTERPIECE. Do whatever you can to see it as soon as you can Just make sure you have some tissues to hand because you will need them ..

Russell Cook

BOOKS red & rit Is it really 2017? Last time I looked it was the mid 1970’s and I was at school and in love with Daphne from Scooby Doo (I was nine!) and the closest I came to any form of gritty Drama was playing British Bulldog in the school playground.

Naturally writer Philip Martin’s groundbreaking BBC drama Gangsters was not on my radar. A well remembered series that ran for twelve episodes between 1976 and 1978 it first saw the light of day as a one off Play for Today in 1975. Gangsters showed a world in the days when certain attitudes were acceptable however hard that is to believe now. The author has returned to his original play for a faithful adaption of this Birmingham based story.

Ex SAS officer John Kline has served time for murder, once

released from prison all he wants is to collect money that is owed to him so he can get on with his life.

Unfortunately the man he killed was the brother of Gangland boss Rawlinson, unsurprisingly the boss wants revenge. This novel stands alone as a tale of revenge, greed and the seedy underworld life of 1970’s Birmingham and it’s written with flair and a savage style.

It brings themes of sexism, racism and the realism of that life back, but in the context of what it was often like at the time. A gripping read, all the characters are well realised with special mention to Rawlinson who epitomises some of the prevalent attitudes of that decade by his behaviour. Philip Martin’s Gangsters: A Life for a Life which comprises two stand alone novels based on the series is available from Candy Jar books at £9.99.

Staying with the theme of novelisations, BBC Books and James Goss have raided the Douglas Adams archive again to find the first draft of The Pirate Planet which differs quite substantially to what was originally transmitted as part of the sixteen season of Doctor Who back in 1978.

The story marked Douglas’

television drama debut and showcases his natural talents for comedy that underlies the drama of a complex story of missing planets, a heavily disguised segment of The Key to Time and a homicidal Captain with a pet mechanical parrot. Long John Silver is no doubt spinning on his wooden leg somewhere in the realms of literary heaven wishing he’d had a Polyphase Avatron; things could have been so different. You have to read to believe! Goss channels Adams’ sense of the absurd, fine tuning the original script that was written shortly before The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy eclipsed just about everything else. The 1970’s era of Doctor Who is faithfully recreated which enhances the atmosphere of this comic novel showcasing Adams at his best thanks to the inventive prose of James Goss.

Pieces of silicate? Yes please.

Doctor Who: The Pirate Planet

is available at £16.99.

Staying in space and with a little nod and even a slight bow to Douglas Adams, I offer up for your delectation in wholemeal toasted form with oodles of butter and jam, A Toaster on Mars (why not, everyone’s got to eat?!)

finds that Bartholomew Badde whilst holding the world to ransom has also kidnapped his daughter. The adventure begins and holds its own in a tale full of jokes, puns and carnivorous sandwiches, yes, really. A comic novel that doesn’t disappoint, curl up with a

have wondered where the boundaries of fact and fiction met and how much Le Carre has based stories on the personal experiences of his previous career. His memoir from this point of view, doesn’t directly answer this question but he still spins a good yarn.

Long John Silver is no doubt spinning on his wooden leg somewhere in the realms of literary heaven wishing he’d had a Polyphase Avatron.

by Darrell Pitt (Text Publishing £8.99). We are in the year 2509 and Neo City.

Our hero is Blake Crouch an agent with the Planetary Bureau of Investigation, who finds quite early after waking one morning that his day is not going to be a good one.

Along with various irritations such as a car with attitude and finding that his new working partner is a cyborg called Nicki which is not normally a name to be associated with someone of a robotic disposition. The plot is fast, the storytelling furious as Blake

cuppa and a sandwich (if you dare!) and enjoy…

John Le Carre has done a good job over the years of keeping a low public profile, often living his public life through his novels. The Pigeon Tunnel: Stories from My Life (Viking £20.00) is his first published work of non fiction, a memoir with twists in the well told tales. In the 1950’s he worked for the security services and whilst doing so, began writing novels and very soon established himself as a master storyteller. Oven the years many

His childhood memories are particularly poignant especially his recreation of his father Ronnie, whom he describes as a “conman, fantasist, occasional jailbird,” and haunts the pages of this memoir which in a way still leaves David Cornwell in the shadows, briefly glimpsed, never seen fully and that adds to his story.

For A.A Gill 1954-2016 Russell’s Blog Brave New World is at www. therewriteman.wordpress.com

GREEN COLUMN Amongst all the billions of planets known to man, there is still only one known to support life. It’s this one. Let’s look after it ... be stupid not to?

Are you a barstool moaner? Or do you actually want to do something?

Then do it! Turn a light off. Hell... go mad and turn 2 lights off! Turn standby plugs off, boil less for a cup of tea. Recycle. Turn your heating down a touch and put on a jumper. Don’t insist on bleedin’ fresh fruit everyday from another continent! It aint healthy, it’s actually going to kill our kids. Don’t let your children ask you “Hey Mum,

why did you and Dad let them kill our planet?”

This issue I thought I’d let this stunning picture by WWF do the talking. Does it really need an explanation?

My thanks as always to your friends at World Wildlife Greenpeace. and Friends of The Earth.

Martin Perry

BUYING in florida USA by guest columnist, Rufus Stone’s Malc Eyers Guest columnist this issue is none other than Rufus Stone’s Malc Eyers, above left with his wife Heather. Having approached me about advertising his lovely Florida property. I nagged him into talking about buying a home in USA. Not bad for a beginner. I’ll have to keep an eye on him, better singer than me and now this! Where’s my harmonica?

I guess we were like many other people who dreamed of owning their own holiday home in the sun ... and now that dream has become a reality.

When buying a property overseas so many things have to be taken into consideration - budget, funding, location and most importantly what the home was really for? Was it just for family holidays, was it a winter retirement home or was it to be rented out to produce an income? If so, did it need to make a profit?

There is so much choice and so many different locations to choose from - literally all over the world. Everyone’s taste is different - for some the main criteria would be to be within a few hours flying time e.g. mainland Spain including all the Costa’s, or the Canary Islands, and for others, the fabulous Greek Islands or the South of France.

For Heather and I, flying time really wasn’t the issue - it was more about where we wanted to spend our wintertime during our fast approaching retirement years.

For us, the ability to rent the property during the summer months was also very important to help with the running costs and to give us an additional income.

Having previously owned in Orlando Florida from 2000-2006 we already knew a lot about the Orlando Real Estate market and the potential it has. (we sold in 2006 to pursue a business venture here in the UK. No it wasn’t Rufus Stone lol) The obvious advantage of owning in Orlando is of course Disney World which attracts millions of visitors year on year. Visiting the ever evolving theme parks, visitors often prefer to stay in a private villa, with home from home comforts and facilities, rather than stay in one of the many hotels nearby.

For us it has everything we could wish for in a holiday/retirement home. Great location near to the parks, a 75 minute drive from some amazing beaches on the Gulf Coast and about the same distance from the Atlantic coast -home of the amazing Daytona Beach and Kennedy Space Centre.

Having decided to purchase in Orlando once more, we took a trip out to Florida staying in a

hotel close to the area we knew we wanted to be and met up with two separate Real Estate Agents who aware of our budget and who were happy to show us the latest offerings available in both new and resale properties.

We very soon identified the style and design of property we wanted (a single storey villa with 5 bedrooms and a pool) and within a few days of having seen twelve or so properties, we drew up a shortlist of favourites.

We chose to buy a pre owned 5 bedroomed, 3 bathroom home on a well established Community just 20 minutes from the gates of Disney.

We had the whole home remodeled including new kitchen, new bathrooms and completely new furniture throughout. You see we fell in love with it’s beautiful location - backing on to a conservation area and with the perfect family house design and all within our budget (the amount we paid couldn’t buy you a 2 bed apartment here in our hometown of Southampton!)

Equally there are many brand new Orlando homes available if that is your preferred choice.

And buying couldn’t be easier! When buying a property, the whole process can be completed within a couple of weeks – unlike in the UK with long drawn out negotiations and solicitors letters back and forth.

First you to provide proof and evidence of source of funding, the home inspection report takes just a few days and assuming everything is fine, the contract of sale is drawn up by your appointed Title Company, then that’s just about it - all done.

You can complete the sale from back here in the UK as contracts are emailed out to you for signature – you just return the documents by Fed Ex. The property now serves all its purposes - it pays for itself and provides an income, as well as providing us, our family and friends, a beautiful vacation home from home. malcandh@aol.com www.floridadreamz.com

FABULOUS

ORLANDO VILLA RENTAL

This Valentine’s celebrate with us!

St Valentine Day Evening Menu STARTERS NAUGHTY NACHOS Topped with Cheese & Hot Chilli CUPID'S CRAYFISH TAIL & AVOCADO COCKTAIL Served with Brown Bread & Butter SPICY BBQ CHICKEN SKEWERS Served with Sticky BBQ Sauce AMOROUS ASPARAGUS SOUP Served with Melba Toast TEMPTING TRIO OF MELON Served with splendid Stewed Fruits CUPID'S CRISPY DUCK SALAD Served with Plum Sauce

*** MAINS

5 BEDROOMS - 3 BATHROOMS - POOL COMFORTABLY SLEEPS 10 PEOPLE Great location within 20 minutes of all the amazing Theme Parks

Available all year round

WHATS’ ON Mon Feb 20th & Mon March 13th Quiz and curry nights Fri Feb 24th Karaoke and DJ nights MOTHER’S DAY Sun March 26th Three Course Meal £23.95 EASTER WEEKEND Fri April 12th - DJ in bar area Sat 13th - Band 'One for the Road' Sun 14th - Karaoke and DJ

RAUNCHY RIB EYE STEAK WITH CUPID'S COGNAC & PEPPER SAUCE Served with French Fries, Peas, Mushrooms & Tomato TEMPTING TIGER PRAWN THERMIDOR Served with saute potatoes & vegetables CUPID'S SPICY CAJUN CHICKEN WITH CHEESE & BACON Served with Cajun Fries VALENTINE'S PORK FILLET IN BRANDY SAUCE Served with Rice a& Vegetables AMOROUS ASPARAGUS & LEEK RISOTTO Served with Salad & crusty Bread

***

MALC & HEATHER on 07784 065 229

Cupid's choice of Sweets or Cheese & Biscuits Coffee & Mints

29 FLEET END ROAD, WARSASH SO31 9JH • 01489 572 500

email: malcandh@aol.com visit our website: www.floridadreamz.com

£27.50 per person

thejollyfarmerwarsash@gmail.com Facebook/thejollyfarmerwarsash

For rates and availability Contact:

the city’s best ... empowering the and guide

page 13

Travel Guide with Lucy McNeil of Travel Counsellors

My USA bucket list

BUCKET OF WINE SPOT - NAPA VALLEY

STREETS OF NEW ORLEANS

Friday 20th January 2017 will be remembered as one of the most important days in US history and only the next 4 years will tell whether it was a good day or a bad day at the (oval) office! With Trump’s inauguration call to arms message being to ‘Make America Great Again’ it got me thinking about all the amazing things are great in America … travel related of course!

I’m a big fan of the US and there’s still lots of it I am yet to explore so I thought I would give you some of my American bucket list destinations…maybe it will feed your desire to explore it too?

Number One on my US bucket list is the Napa Valley and this is mainly because in my head I have a vision of warm balmy Californian sunshine beating down on the gloriously juicy grapes on the beautiful vines … and then there’s me sat on a wooden rocking chair with my one true love overlooking the winelands with a glass of icy cold Sauvignon blanc muttering something about this being the life! Now in reality I’m not sure if this would ever happen but I know for sure that if it did it would be warm and balmy and the wine will be ice cold!! The Napa Valley is the very well know wine region set inland from the Californian coast just North of San Francisco and East of Sacramento. Fly into San Fran and take a car up to Napa where there are hundreds of wineries dotted up and down this prime wine-making area and many you can just pop in and visit and do a little wine tasting of course. Many have accommodation (so I can have my moment) and are family owned so give a very authentic experi-

OH AND...

THE GAMBIA SAFETY NEWS The Gambia saw thousands of tourists evacuated in midJanuary due to the political unrest where the incumbent Gambian president Yahya Jammeh would not accept defeat to incoming President Adama Burrow and military intervention was threatened.

YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK ence, and of course you can really enjoy the wine without the worry of driving.

Number two has to be skiing in Colorado – home to some of the best known ski regions in the world, home to 26 areas and resorts such as the very glamorous, celeb-packed Aspen to the family friendly Breckenridge. Set on the Rocky Mountain range (which actually spans from Eastern Canada down to New Mexico) Colorado has something for every ski and boarders taste. It also has the advantage of having an extended ski season with some resorts such as Arapahoe opening as early as mid-October and with ridable snow through to July. This is due to its base being at 11,000 feet above sea level and some resorts reaching 14,000 feet….now that’s pretty high! It’s become more affordable for Brits too as often prices are very comparable to European ski resorts during peak seasons and with the guarantee of snow and excellent facilities in resort American skiing has become a very real choice for British skiers.

Number three and we move over to the South East Coast and the art deco lined streets of Miami. I have another vision here and it involves alcohol again so bear with me.

I’m sitting drinking a margarita on the palmThis did not happen as Jammeh admitted defeat and the FCO has now lifted their advice of all but essential travel. Many flights are resuming however Thomas Cook Airlines has reduced the number of weekly flights from 7 to 4 with Birmingham and Manchester being most affected. www.gov.uk/foreign-traveladvice/gambia

FOGGY LOOKOUT A word of advice after all these foggy mornings that if

tree lined streets of Miami Beach, the sea is lapping the warm sand and the sun is just about setting … are you with me? Miami is one of the coolest cities in America with a vibrant bar and restaurant scene and it’s become a mecca for the young folk to flock here at any time of the year due to the temperate climate and gorgeous beaches. It’s got a great live music scene too with many big names choosing Miami venues for their fans to congregate. Upcoming acts to perform in Miami are Radiohead, Flo Rida, Bearnaked Ladies and even Andrea Bocelli. The choice of places to get your head down is pretty extensive too with amazing hotels from 5* Fontainebleu where glamour meets modern luxury to the 3* Marseille where you can find affordable luxury just one street from the beach.

Number four is a popular for animal lovers and a must-see for bear hunters (not actual hunters!) – Yosemite National Park. With its nearly 1200 square miles the park is the most amazing place with giant waterfalls, ancient sequoia trees and powerful glaciers. The park is at its busiest in the summer months between April & October and driving through the park can be quite busy. You can stay in various different accommodation from lodges flights and travel plans are cancelled due to adverse weather, strike action or security threats many of your travel plans are not covered unless you take Travel Disruption insurance. This will ensure that you are not left out of pocket should flights be delayed or cancelled meaning onward plans are not unprotected as many airlines will refund flights but have no responsibility for other elements such as car hire, hotels, excursions etc..

to camping and backpackers hostels too.

Reservations are usually required for all types of accommodation so forward planning is key for your trip to Yosemite. If you can get in and avoid the crowds you are sure of seeing one thing…. all-encompassing beauty. The park is home to over 400 species of animal including the famous grizzly bear which is on the endangered species list and 800 miles of trails where you can explore the vegetation zones.

All in all it’s well worth a visit and you never know you might get to Yogi too!

Number five and we head down to New Orleans, Louisiana or NOLA as it’s affectionately known by. Set at the mouth of the world-famous Mississippi river the rich history and culture of New Orleans is evident in every corner of the city. After the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina in 2005 the city has fought hard to get back to any normality but by always having hope and their faith the people of New Orleans have kept strong albeit in diminishing numbers as people settled outside of the city. But this all adds to the amazing history of this fascinating city which is well known for its French and Spanish Creole architecture and being the birthplace of jazz music. The French quarter hosts many jazz bars and music venues and the city is the home of the colourful carnival known as Mardi Gras – with NOLA residents planning events and costumes for months ahead. Many people like to see New Orleans either pre or post cruise as the city has a large port where many cruise ships depart from or make calls to. Or why not make it part of a musical multi-centre trip taking in Nashville and Tennessee to the North.

So there’s an insight into my US bucket list and don’t forget if they’re on yours too give me a call and I can help you tick another off the list!

Call me today on 01489 858270 or e-mail me on lucy.mcneil@travelcounsellors.com

“I’M ON A BUCKET LIST AM I?”

OKAY WHO’S THE PILOT?

the city’s best ... empowering the and guide

page 15

Nick Dhanda’s final

Support your local ladies in the 2017 Virgin Money London Marathon 23 April

Captain’s Report

The Virgin Money London Marathon is the largest annual fundraising event on the planet, with runners raising over 770 million for good causes since the race began in 1981.

It was an absolute privilege and honour to serve as Captain of Southampton Golf Club for 2016.

Following on from my Brother Pete’s very successful year, I certainly had to pull out all the stops as he left me big shoes to fill ... good job he’s only size 7!

At the beginning of my captaincy, I had three main objectives, to encourage more social events for the members and their wives; to raise £5,000.00 towards the refurbishments of the Children’s Cardiac Ward at SGH; and more importantly for me to play off a single figure handicap….well two out of three ain’t bad!

I would like to say a heartfelt thank you to all who have supported me this year by attending my charity events including: Christmas Lunch at Milan, Race Night and St Patrick’s Day at Bowlers, Summer Ball at Novotel, and Bollywood Night at Everest Cuisine. I genuinely have been overwhelmed by your participation, good spirit and most of all your incredible generosity helping to raise a phenomenal £ 13,723-02.This figure has completely surpassed all my expectations and I know that Southampton Hospital will do wonderful things to put this to good use.

I would also like to say a special thanks to Dennis Rattan, Dave Price, John Meacher, Andy Storm, Derek Channell, David Pyne, Stan Wart, Steve Hodder for their Cash donations; My wife Ann-Marie for her regular weekend cake sales at Bowlers raising £175.04 and her ongoing support and ideas through the year; Bill Webb and the committee for their support throughout the year; Roger Tomey and team from Mytime for their involvement; Geoff Smith, Gary and Tine Dine, Richard Mandair for their fantastic Villa Auction Prizes; My P.A. Kate McRae for all her input helping to organise all events. AND Martin for letting me publicise it all here. Finally huge thanks to my Vice Captain Chris Comely, for his continued support and help with Team selections for Club matches and at my Charity events. Hopefully, our members will support him as they have supported me this year. I couldn’t have chosen a better Captain to follow after me and wish him all the very best for the upcoming year, I am sure he will be a great captain.

Golf wise, it hasn’t been a ground-breaking year, but we have held our own. We were very unlucky not to win the triangular this year, but we did very well in the county 7s; we went into the third round, had we won that we would have gone to Jersey to play our next round. I am sure Chris will improve on this next year.

Finally, I cannot believe my year as captain has come to an end. I have thoroughly enjoyed my captaincy and I will cherish the memories and good times shared this year - it was great to meet Members Partners who have become good friends. To commemorate my Captaincy I will be donating the funds raised on my final event to purchase a Defibrillator for Southampton Golf Club.

Nick nickdhanda@sky.com

Sue Hill

Sarah Nangle

Raising funds for Countess Mountbatten Hospice Charity

Raising funds for Macmillon Cancer Support

Bungee jumping into a volcano? Space hoppering to the North Pole? Sometimes it seems that people are doing ever more extreme events to raise money for their charity of choice so perhaps it’s refreshing to hear about a simple marathon plan?

Sarah, mum of two Daisy 11 and Robyn 8 was born and raised in Chandlers Ford attending Toynbee school. Still living there, now with husband and dancing guru Darren, she is a keen runner and a member of Eastleigh Running.

Sue Hill is running the London Marathon this April which perhaps doesn’t compare with abseiling down The Shard but for Sue this is the culmination of 12months hard work and perseverance having only put her trainers on for the first time a year ago. To put scale of this personal challenge into context, in January last year Sue took part on the Romsey 5-mile run and was the penultimate runner to cross the line, narrowly pipping an 81-year old runner to the finishing post and the idea of being able to run for 26.2 miles was a fantasy.

However, Sue’s tenacity and determination saw her continue her training; stepping off the treadmill and instead pounding the pavements near her home in West Wellow with her running buddies Alan and Esme to keep her company. By October last year Sue was feeling confident enough to tackle running 10 miles in the Great South Run and didn’t hate it (despite falling into the embrace of a St John’s volunteer at the finish line).

Geed on by friends and family Sue entered the ballot for London and was delighted not to get a place. But fate intervened and she was offered the chance to run for Hospice UK, a charity very close to her heart given her work as a Trustee for the Countess Mountbatten Hospice and over 20 years of working as a nurse. So now she’s on a mission, aiming to run further and faster as the days to the 23rd April fly by. So if you see a woman running round West Wellow with a look of steely determination, give her a wave, it could be Sue. Sue’s event may not be extreme but she is running for all of us who think we couldn’t and is showing us that perhaps we can. We may be too late to join in for 2017 but perhaps we could work towards our own marathon challenge (or half-marathon, 10K or 5K) in 2018? In the meantime remember that whilst Sue may not be pogoing [formerly the art of jumping up and down on one's pogostick, but now the term for collecting virtual Pokemon on your smartphone. Ed] to Borneo (not this year anyway), less than 1% of the population have run a marathon, and that seems pretty extreme to me!

If you would like to support Sue’s fundraising efforts and find out more about the work of Hospice UK please visit her fundraising page

She's regularly competes in local 10k events and has run two half marathon's previously at both Bournemouth and Southampton with a best time of 1 hour 52 minutes.

The London Marathon though will be double her longest ever run and her lifetime dream.

Having had ovarian cancer herself and lost her mum to the disease, the McMillan cancer charity seemed the perfect fit to raise funds for.

Say’s Sarah, “It has always been a dream of mine to run the London Marathon. I find it hugely inspiring and it is a huge driving force in my love of running. I am now lucky enough to have been offered a place and to finally live out one of my life ambitions. To do this representing an amazing charity that is close to my heart makes it even more special.

I believe that everybody has been touched by cancer in some way, either personally or knowing someone that has been affected by the disease. Many of us have loved and lost someone close to us through cancer. I have faced my own battle with cancer and thank my lucky stars everyday, but I have also supported my mum through her fight wth the disease which she sadly lost in the year 2000.

I understand only too well how hard facing cancer is and how important knowing that there is help and support out there and this is why I feel so passionately about representing Macmillan Cancer Support.

Macmillan's ambition is to reach and improve the lives of everyone living with cancer and to inspire millions to do the same. They offer the best information, practical advice and support, medical and financial support and are always pushing for better cancer care. By accessing free support lines, Macmillan nurses, information services and support groups in local areas, this enables people to not face cancer alone and to feel more in control of their lives. I feel incredibly proud to be running the Virgin London Marathon for such a worthy charity.

Through Virgin Money Giving, you can sponsor me and donations will be quickly processed and passed to the charity. Virgin Money Giving is a not for profit organisation and will claim gift aid on a charity's behalf where the donor is eligible for this. I really appreciate all your support and thank you for any donations.

Sarah xxx

uk.virginmoneygiving.com /SueHill3

uk.virginmoneygiving.com /Sarah Nangle

TH’s LOVES the AND Guide! Happy Birthday!

for

AY D O R’S h 26 BO HE arc T ay M O M Sund W

O KN

The Ferryman 2 Warsash Rd, Warsash, Southampton SO31 9HX

A warm friendly pub serving a fine selection of beers lagers and wine complemented by gorgeous homemade meals made with fresh produce on-site

01489 573 088

THURSDAY: Quiz night (Quiz from 8pm) 1st TUESDAY EVERY MONTH: Open MIC Night

FOOD: Monday 12-3 & 5-8pm, Tuesday-Thursday 12-3 & 5-9pm Friday and Saturday 12-10 and Sunday 12-9 (Sun lunch 12-6pm)

★★★★

Email: theferrymanwarsash@gmail.com

the city’s best ... empowering the and guide

page 17

Richard Harper

Southampton’s Novatones announced for IOW Festival The Isle of Wight Festival 2017 recently announced ten young and upcoming acts for the 2017 festival: Catfish and the Bottlemen, Zara Larsson,Clean Bandit, The Vamps, The Strypes, The Amazons, Germein Sisters, Judas, The Novatones and The Second Sons.

They join recently announced headliners David Guetta, Run DMC, Arcade Fire and Rod Stewart, as well as Kaiser Chiefs, Texas, The Shires, Example + DJ Wire, Jonas Blue, Nothing But Thieves, The Sherlocks, Ward Thomas, The Undertones, The Alarm and Elle Exxe. As well as George Ezra, Bastille, Jack Savoretti and Rag’n’Bone Man. The Novatones are fast becoming a festival favourite. Since first playing at the Isle of Wight Festival in 2014, they have risen up the stages year on year with a huge performance in the Big Top last year. They seem to be the support band of choice in 2017, and are now getting played on 6 Music.

The Isle of Wight FestivalJohn Giddings said: “We've always supported fresh, new and exciting talent at the Isle of Wight Festival. It’s what music festivals are all about. We had Blossoms in 2015 and they've just been nominated for a BRIT award! Looking forward to seeing what the Isle of Wight 2017’s talents have in store for us!” takes place from 8th - 11th June at Seaclose Park, Newport. Due to popular demand, 2017 sees the return of Day Tickets in addition to Weekend Tickets.

For day/weekend tickets and ferry travel offers visit

www.redfunnel.co.uk/iwfestival

BLUES, JAZZ, PUNK AND COUNTRY… Just a short insight into the ever eclectic Talking Heads February & March listings!

But first, birthday wishes to The AND Guide! It’s been a delight to watch an innovative and selfless concept grow into our local ‘go-to’ event listings directory, and the support we’ve had as a local venue has been humbling.

So, raise a glass to Martin Perry and The And Guide … true champions of Southampton’s live music scene!

[Blush... thank you Rich. Two way thing though nip. Couldn’t exist without the support of you guys. Some do, some don’t, some won’t. But you guys are class. (Sorry folks bit of a luvin there but had to be said.) Ed] The stand-out blues gig in March is Stevie Nimmo and his band. Brother of multiple-award winning Alan Nimmo [King King] and one half of The Nimmo Brothers, Stevie himself was nominated at the 2016 British Blues Awards for ‘Best Male Vocalist’, ‘Best Guitarist’ and ‘Best Songwriter’. The combination of his gritty, emotional vocal and vigorously passionate guitar solos makes Stevie one of the most captivating and must-see blues musicians in the UK today.

“Punk’s Not Dead!” – exclaims Mark Tutton, our bookings manager, in a recent video for Independent Venue Week. And with the venue packed recently for The Subhumans, it’s difficult to argue! On February 17th, one of the founding fathers of the British Punk Rock Movement, Slaughter & The Dogs, come to town! They exploded onto the scene in 1976, gigging with The Sex Pistols, and released critically acclaimed album ‘Vicious’ last year; 40 years later!

Just one week later is an unmissable double-header, with Robert Lloyd’s Nightingales and John Robb’s The Membranes!

And on March 23rd, we welcome back Belfast’s The Outcasts; formed in 1977, they were notorious for hiring nightclubs to host private parties, at which they would play (before management would have a chance to know what was happening), due to a severe lack of venues in Belfast at the time.

Following a successful launch and follow-up show of the recently conceived The Dirty South Sessions, nominees of the British Country Awards 2016 Album

Of The Year Southern Companion are back on March 8th and are bound to have your feet stomping! Supporting are Camden-based duo The Kondoors.

Southampton Modern Jazz Club’s impressive portfolio continues to expand, with the likes of Alex Munk’s Flying Machine, Mick Hanson, Damien Cook and Tom White Septet - free entry every Sunday evening!

Meanwhile, Southampton Jazz Club offers David Newton’s trio The Big Screen, and Dennis Rollins Velocity Trio; every 3rd Tuesday of the month.

Electric guitar heavyweight Alex Skolnick [of Testament] and his trio blend the elegance and sophistication of jazz with the conviction of metal, passing through Southampton for a one-off show on March 1st.

And absolutely not to be missed…

“Some call it smooth jazz, but that would just be taking the PS,” - the tagline of

PS_Perrystone Hill who’ll play in the lounge bar on March 9th. Between them these guys have played sax for George Michael, harmonica for Dean Friedman and guitar for Rose Royce. One of them even edits this ‘ere paper. So come and meet him.

A final shout out to some of our regular sessions; The Candle Club Open Mic is every Monday evening from 8.30pm; Pat Begley’s Traditional Irish Music Session is every Sunday afternoon from 2pm; the intimate and (usually) acoustic Maple Leaf Lounge Session is every other Friday; and Paul Young & Friends jazz, swing and funk sessions are every other Thursday.

But this is just a snippet … check out our website and the advert opposite for more eklectic goodies. Don’t forget we’ve got 2 bars and often have music in each!

thetalkingheads.co.uk

Southampton Comes together to help Greg Our town is a funny old place. Very hard to get going. I’ve often described it to people as “it doesn’t know its war till its on fire”. Well this is one of the times its on fire.

Greg Gilbert from the band DELAYS, one of the few Southampton bands to make a name internationally, is seriously ill with cancer. Sadly because of his genetics, treatment isn’t available on the NHS. Which has caused a massive uplift of love and fundraising from its now on-fire citizens.

You want to help? Even the smallest amount might just mean life or death for this young, gifted father of two. But don’t let me tell you ... let his fiancée.

Greg Gilbert is known to many as the singer and guitarist of the band Delays and as an artist. To me, he is my fiancée, my joint adventurer through life but most importantly, the daddy to our two baby girls Dali (3) and Bay (1). He has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer that has spread to his lungs and to our horror has been told that the NHS is limited in what they can do to save him.

THE VERY WORST NEWS Greg has been treated for IBS for a while and his GP didn’t think it was a major issue.

Gastro consultants and dieticians had confirmed the IBS diagnosis. At the end of October, Greg was experiencing some severe abdomen pains and vomiting that led him to be admitted to A&E. After an x-ray, we were told that they had a found a cancerous blockage in his bowel. After further investigation, we were told the devastating news that the bowel cancer has also spread to his lungs and because of the extent of these tumours, they would only be able to offer him a 12 week course of chemotherapy as he is currently not a candidate for surgery to remove the primary tumour in his bowel. We were told this heart breaking news on our daughter Bay’s 1st birthday. I cannot put into words the terror and shock of this moment. To hear Greg ask the consultant how long he had left to live is the darkest moment of my life and something that will haunt me forever.

We have also had the terrible news that Greg is genetically incompatible with the only free immunotherapy drug available on the NHS. There are other drugs that would match

his gene profile, most notably Avastin for advanced bowel cancers, but it is currently not funded by the NHS. Our hope for the future However, we are not prepared to accept this bad news lying down. Greg is an otherwise fit and healthy 39-year old man who has never smoked, taken drugs and has rarely even drunk alcohol. Through extensive research and correspondence with specialist clinics in the UK and abroad, we have discovered new and groundbreaking treatments. These are targeted treatments such as stereotactic radiotherapy, microwave ablation and personalised immunotherapy. These have had astounding results on others that share the same prognosis as Greg. The treatments are currently not offered on the NHS due to not meeting their cost efficiency criteria. We have always been huge advocates for the NHS but this is just heartbreaking - I just cannot let Greg die and our daughters grow up without their daddy because of money.

WE NEED HELP These treatments are expensive. We are using all of our own money but it is nowhere near enough. Like most people in the UK, we have no private medical insurance so it is hard to comprehend that we need to raise at least £100,000 to give Greg any chance of survival. Greg has begun his chemotherapy but we need money to be able move quickly when this finishes in mid March.

I know Greg will not mean the same to you as he does to me but I know his music and art have touched people all over the world. He has so much left to give – Delays have new songs that they want to release and tour, he has sketchbooks filling our home with ideas for drawings and paintings and of course, we have 2 baby girls who absolutely adore him.

We desperately need him to be here to watch them grow up.

The supportive messages we have received from around the world are lifting Greg each day and keeping us positive. We are desperate to make this Christmas special for our girls and go into 2017 with hope for the future. We are so thrilled by the requests we have had about organising fundraising events which we welcome and encourage any ideas to help our cause.

We would be so grateful for your support and generosity. We cannot do this without your help, which is why I am asking for you to share our page, spread the word and please donate whatever you can to help me save the life of the most magical person I have ever known.

www.gofundme.com/give4greg

FEBRUARY

MARCH

4th - King King + Broken Witt Rebels

3rd - Jo Harman

8th - Circa Waves 10th - The Sweet Sensation Band + DJ Paul Mico 11th - Apocalypse [Alt. Club Night] 12th - Modern Baseball 17th - CAVALRY [A NIGHT FOR GREG GILBERT] A fundraiser night organised for Greg Gilbert. Greg is known to many as the singer and guitarist of the band Delays and as an artist. He has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer that has spread to his lungs and to our horror has been told that the NHS is limited in what they can do to save him.

Acoustic sets from: Band Of Skulls / Mystery Jets PLUS Delays featuring Simone Marie (Primal Scream), Sam Duckworth, Thomas Tantrum and The Diamond Age. More guests to be announced!.

Download from itunes or stream continually on Spotify . Full details on Facebook @valentinetonumber1

14 February - THE BROOK - VALENTINE: featuring Birdpen, Dead Rabbits, The Novatones, Sean McGowan, Band of Skulls DJs Tickets o£ 10 the-brook.com

17 February - 1865 - CAVALRY: featuring acoustic sets from: Band Of Skulls / Mystery Jets / PLUS Delays featuring Simone Marie (Primal Scream), Sam Duckworth / Thomas Tantrum and The Diamond Age. More guests to be announced!

5th - Tragedy [Metal-Tribute to the Bee Gees & Beyond] 10th - Hazel O Connor 11th - Apocalypse 18th - Special Kinda Madnes 23rd - Saiichi Sugiyama Band 25th - HEY 31st - Creeper

APRIL 1st - The Floyd Effect

19th - Giving Something Back To Barrie

22nd - The Hattie Jacques Playlist + Strumpet Town

25th - Don Letts

23rd - KULT

audio PA system

Until Feb 14 Make VALENTINE #1 for Valentine’s Day!

Not to be missed!

18th - Small Fakers + Ready Steady Who

• High quality d&b HELP GREG HERE: Do it all ... great nights, for a great cause!

Award winning vocalist, songwriter and band leadeJo Harman and her band visit The 1865, Southampton on 3rd March 2017 as part of the album launch of her much anticipated second studio album ‘People We Become’, which was recorded in Nashville by noted producer Fred Mollin (Carol King, Carly Simon, Joe Cocker etc) and features a cameo by Michael McDonald.

• Chamsys controlled lighting rig

• Stage, dance floor & balcony area

• Two licensed bars

8th - Apocalypse

25th - Maia 29th - Uptown TopRankin'

MAY 13th - Apocalypse 26th - Phil Beer Band

JUNE 10th - Apocalypse 21st - The Skids 24th - Blue Beat

vocally speaking Ed Hailwood B.A.S.T qualified vocal coach and gigging vocalist Ed Hailwood, waxes lyrically

THE MUSIC BIZ according to Barry Upton

Barry Upton Our resident pop guru Barry is a multi international hit songwriter/producer/performer. Initially a front singer with Brotherhood Of Man he’s worked with a multitude of household names including being creator of the lovable pop outfit STEPS, penning their massive hit 5678 and his mate and editor of this ‘ere paper previously co-hosting the AND Magazine Show on Radio Hampshire. He’s currently a TV & radio presenter and producer in Thailand and of course he’s still performing!

The Grass is Greener Its an undeniable fact that we all think the grass is greener. We may have been given a God given talent but wish we could do what we do just like someone else.

You may be handy in a goal mouth, a real Gordon Banks [David De Gea for you younger readers. Ed] but your existence is rendered miserable by your wish to be a great striker.

So it is with singers Riddled with ego and self doubt. The whole gambit of Freudian misfit behaviour kicks in with vocalists. They are even worse than lead guitarists [Correct. Ed] To hit the nail on the head, in my particular instance, I am a baritone who wants to be a tenor. Or maybe you are a tenor who just wishes he could get those bottom notes.

As you may realise I am a singer. I have spent long periods of time and invested not inconsiderable amounts of money with vocal coaches trying to develop the technique to hit those elusive top notes. For years as a baritone I have been frustrated by the lack of ability to hit those top notes. When listening to music Don Henley comes to mind (you swine!) Not forgetting the equally unreachable pitches of rocks ultimate top harmony singers Phil Everly (RIP) and Graham Nash.

However pop pickers as time has marched on I have finally come to realise that I have been guilty of totally barking up the wrong sapling. Someone gave you what you’ve got so use it. Forget about the grass being greener, start watering your own garden. After a lifetime of listening to music, especially singers and more especially singer guitarists I am only just checking out Leonard Cohen. They don’t get any lower down than that.

Enter the new baritones - They seem to be coming out of the woodwork. Take Gregory Porter. Apart from the hat what a singer and pour mois the perfect range. Rag and Bone Man, a baritone soul singer right on the money for my pitch. I can sing along comfortably.

That’s probably enough rambling from me.

However I still have to admit to wishing I could sing soul music just like Marvin Gaye.

Facebook / Ed Hailwood Vocalist email eddy_hailwood@hotmail.com or mobile 07730 589643

getting it out there So, you’ve written a song.

It’s a lovely song with nice lyrics and a good tune.

You’ve sung or performed it to your friends and family and they all like it. You’ve been to a recording studio and made a demo utilizing your friends to play on the track with everyone telling you that this song must be a hit.

Now what do you do with it?

If you are a singer/songwriter and aspire to being a hit artist then you already have a ‘vehicle’ for your song, namely yourself. Maybe you know of an artist that’s looking for material because they don’t write their own?

The problem for any songwriter is finding a way to get your song heard by the public in such large quantities that it will make you money or, at least, famous.

I just mentioned the word ‘vehicle’ and this is the term used by the music industry to describe the carrier of your song.

It can be an artist, a TV show, a film or, indeed, anyone or anything that is going to utilize your creativity .

If you are happy with just your friends and family hearing it then fine. However if you have larger aspirations, then more thought and work needs to be put into ‘getting it out there’.

As an ambitious artist, you may think that if a song comes from a big publishing company, or a famous songwriter, it is bound to be a Hit, right? … WRONG! No matter how successful a publisher or writer may be, not every song in their catalogues will be a Hit - and they know it. Believe me, they are saving the BIG Hits for major artists. On the flip side of that scenario, however, if you are able to

identify ‘hit’ material yourself, you may find gems in unexpected places, perhaps right under your nose in your own music community. It's up to you to know how to choose songs that fit you and have the potential to take you to the top.

Perhaps we songwriters/artists/musicians should take a step back and strike a more professional perspective about our ‘product’ or the songs we write and sing? Put simply - If we were shoemakers, and we wanted to go into the handbag business, but didn't quite know what a handbag looked like or how to identify a ‘real handbag’, we probably wouldn't be too successful in the handbag making business. Yeah? Well the same is true for us in the ‘Business of Music’. We must know exactly what a ‘hit’ is before we can write one or find one that will launch and maintain our careers.

One of the best ways I know to identify the ingredients of a ‘hit’ is simply to dissect it. If you want to know what makes a clock tick, take it apart. If you want to know what makes a million selling ‘hit’, study the songs that are in heavy rotation on the radio. AND - don't just study your favorite genre [Like what you did there. Ed]. Even if you don't particularly like a certain style of music, there just might be something you could learn from a song that is selling millions of copies. Humble yourself and open your mind. Listen not only as a listener, but as a professional. Learn what it is that makes a song work!

Then, don’t just rely on someone else to do the hard for you. Publishers, in my experience, are generally very lazy and only get actively involved when the royalty cheques roll in and accounting statements need to be sent out.

Be pro-active and use the modern tools at hand. With everything moving more and more towards digital, it’s easy to forget about the value of the person-to-person interaction. These days, you can create great quality music, release it, distribute it, promote it, and even play live without ever leaving your room. But, just because you can release something entirely online doesn’t mean you should.

The live show is so much more than just performing. You can use gigs to promote your music, new album, or song.

You could also use gigs to grow a fan base in other towns or cities. Contact a local established band and propose a headline swap - you’ll open for them in their home town and they’ll open for you

in your home town. Just make sure you pick a band with a similar musical style.

We all use social media but it’s not a straight-up marketing platform. It’s really a catalyst for conversation and word-ofmouth marketing. About 80% of your posts should be funny, conversational, and interesting, leaving about 20% for promotional material. That’s not to say that conversational posts can’t be promotional if you’re clever about it.

You just need to learn how to frame the content in interesting ways. For example, if you’re in the studio recording a new album, try teasing little updates on social media such as your studio experience that day. If you’re out on tour, take photos at the venues or share short videos or photos of the audiences.

These things aren’t obviously promotional, but they still let fans know what’s going on and that you are getting your music ‘out there’.

In the pictures here I needed to get my greatest hits album ‘out there’. So I 'collaborated' with my mate Martin, who was putting on a show for the biggest Sainsbury's in the country and persuaded them not only to stock the CD's, pose with me for PR photos but even to let me announce they were for sale over the tannoy! 'Collaboration' and 'Getting It Out There'!

Collaboration is an often overlooked aspect of music promotion. It’s a great way to get your music in front of another group of people and make new fans. You can collaborate on pretty much anything.

Just make sure you collaborate with musicians whose fans would appreciate your music. Choose to work with bands in a similar genre or with similar fan base demographics.

Your email list is an extremely valuable tool to promote your music. Remember, your emails should be driving your fans to your website, so you want to include links.

Success takes a lot of hard work but from my experience, the harder I worked, the luckier I got. Get it out there - NOW!

february / march 2017

RIDGE REFLECTIONS Paul Ridge

THIS ISSUE SEES US SPOTLIGHTING A NEW (TO ME) VENUE IN SHIRLEY AND THE FOLLOW-ON FROM A PREVIOUSLY REVIEWED RELEASE

BRIGHTON DUO LUCAS & KING

AMY RIGBY OF HUDSON VALLEY, USA (UK TOUR INCLUDES SHIRLEY ... NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!)

LIVE stuff

found myself in Winchester a couple of months ago witnessing another great local pairing, Lucas and King.

AMY RIGBY

Determined to see them again, I headed down to a new live venue in Shirley called Café Reflections, where they were to be supporting American alt country artist, Amy Rigby. I knew little of the latter, having only heard the name, but did my research and enjoyed what I listened to, so I had high hopes for the evening, the first of two consecutive nights of country music in the same venue on Shirley High Street, of all places.

The café itself is one of several on the glitzy, Vegas-style drag we all know and love, but it's always stood out because of its unusual wooden frontage. The interior is like the Tardis in that it's way bigger than it looks from outside and not only do they sell great coffee - another bit of research earlier in the week - but they also do a cracking roast dinner on a Sunday and they sell alcohol. Now they're throwing live music into the mix, what's not to love ?

Intimate is the word of the night. We got up close and personal with, well, everyone really : artists, staff and punters alike, and the atmos-

supported by

LUCAS & KING CafE Reflections, Shirley, Southampton Friday 9 December 2016 One of the great things about going to gigs locally is that very quickly your life can start to resemble an Amazon "suggested for you" list of talent you may never have considered before.

Having started to follow the progress of electronic duo Temples Of Youth, I

phere was one of warm bonhomie .. it was a Friday night, after all. The drinks prices were good and so were Lucas and King. It was all a bit rushed and hectic to begin with as setting up for a gig in a place without a stage will always be haphazard, but true professionals that they are they showed their true colours and held everybody spellbound during their set of plaintive original twangers.

Subsequently, I've seen them in Brighton too and this time they were headlining, meaning I got to add another couple of new artists to my ever-growing "recommended listening" list, namely The Galleons and a young singer-songwriter called George Husband, but that's another story ..

Amy Rigby is funny. I mean, proper funny.

Appearing with her husband, the somewhat grumpy perfectionist Wreckless Eric - who's been around the musical block a few times himself - the phrase "opposites attract" has never been more apposite. She has a gorgeously lazy New York drawl, a ready smile and a nice line in self-depracation, while he is very British, quite eccentric and a little bit twitchy.

I don't mean that in a bad way - we love an eccentric after all - but the two halves really made a whole on the night and they comple-

Dirty Diesel Outlaw Orchestra

mented themselves beautifully in their performance. The music was mostly acoustic, folksy country, with the occasional rockier number as Eric switched from accompanying bass to electric guitar, and although I wasn't that familiar with the material, Amy's choice of story was always amusing and wryly written.

I get the impression she would've made one hell of a good actress as she delighted in telling us her tales and was at ease chatting in between numbers. Her songs are honest and she talks about life, love and everything in between and while at first glance she may just be another country singer, if you actually stop to listen you'll see she has more depth than that.

These aren't cotton-picking throwaway songs : she's better than that and so's her back catalogue, rich and full of humour and a laid-back philosophy from the "SSDD" school of thought.

I really enjoyed my first evening at Café Reflections and was made to feel very welcome by Mike and the rest of the staff. What they're doing there is something different and quite daring. I've said it before but I will go on saying it : get out there and support your local venues and artists or we'll all end up watching karaoke TV on Saturday nights.

DIRTY DIESEL OUTLAW ORCHESTRA

in aid of the charity: Southampton Doing It For The Kids CafE Reflections, Shirley, Southampton, Saturday 10 December Speaking of SSDD, the very next night I found myself rocking up to Reflections again, but this time for a different kind of country gig. If Friday's had been the gentler, more acoustic style, Saturday's was an altogether more raucous, rocket-fueled evening's entertainment in aid of local special needs charity, Southampton Doing It For The Kids.

I'd seen these five-piece filth merchants before and knew what I was letting myself in for from the get go so I invited a few open-minded friends who would appreciate the raunchy rock and roll that would ensue and sure enough it wasn't long before the boondocks banter was flowing as freely as the Jack Daniel's ...

The set list read like a list of episodes for a new series of The Twilight Zone set in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia but devised by The Cramps : Whisky Drinkin' Liar, Hangin' Tree, Chicken Bones, Voodoo Queen and several other family favourites were on offer here and it was a truly barnstorming night. In such a tight venue, when the standup bass player decides to go for a wander through the crowd you

know you're gonna have a good time. Given that he's accompanied by banjo, slide guitar, drums and a harmonica-playing front man, I think they just about covered all the bases for the full-on Tennessee wedding reception experience.

I love this band and think it's great that they too are spreading the joy of country music, albeit in a completely different way to last night's acts.

Fair play to Café Reflections again for being so bold in their choice of live acts and for supporting a very worthwhile charity in Southampton Doing It For The Kids.

I can't wait to see what they've got planned for 2017.

PIC COURTESY NEIL HICKMAN

cafereflections.co.uk Facebook @ DirtyDieselOutlawOrchestra amyrigby.com Facebook @ lucasandking

NATIONAL RELEASES - they’re yummy!

the city’s best ... empowering the and guide

3 gorgeous releases for you to trundle off to Woolworths and buy. Oh if only. But wherever it is you go now for your musical fixes - you’ll enjoy these. Singled out this issue is one of those albums you stick on because well, you kind of have to ... it’s work, and suddenly find yourself with goose bumps screaming holy sh*t! But more of that below.

Sponsored by: Silentrooms Records

recorded stuff ZEN JUDDHISM Zen Juddhism, Vol.2

ALBUM REVIEW

As rock collectives go, you really won't find a more diverse outfit that Zen Juddhism, the brainchild of local guitar hero Jude øne Eight (above).

Jude's kinda like Southampton's very own Johnny Marr in that he's been in countless bands but usually lets someone else hog the spotlight on stage .. not to mention the fact he's a fine guitarist too, of course.

Following on from their selftitled debut album which we reviewed way back in 2014, Zen Juddhism Vol.2 comes replete with no less than eight different vocalists across the eleven tracks and kicks off with Naomi Terry channeling Debbie Harry on the upbeat Better Not Wait.

The reggae-ish Stage Fright features Yui Karlberg, while the heavier Murder Of Crows sees Steve Erida evoking Marilyn Manson. Three tracks in and we've swept through just as many different genres - it's never boring listening to Zen Juddhism.

At the heart of the band there remains a core of solid rock, with influences from the likes of Led Zeppelin, Garbage and Fountains Of Wayne, which means they can flex their musical muscles any way they fancy and personally I find that quite refreshing. Too many bands have one or two good ideas which lead to a couple of strong, crowd-pleasing songs and then they try to replicate that initial burst of success, too scared to break the mould and try something different. Given that trying to pigeon-hole Jude is like nailing jelly to a wall I think they've got an advantage immediately ..

Marlene Rodriguez is back for three new tracks on Vol.2 following her appearance on the last album, all with a distinctly vintage feel to them - like garage rock straight from Seattle.

And Guide favourite Opkar Hans from Kinesis 4 also appears again, on the slow-burner, Hawaii Five-0, which also features a great closing guitar solo which really should've gone on

for longer. How about a 12" version, Jude ?

One of the stand-out tracks for me is All Of It, with singer Pammie Moore set against an accompaniment of strings which sounds a bit like Kirsty MacColl fronting ELO. If that sounds weird, give it a listen because it's a lot better than my description, with shades of Eleanor Rigby throughout.

Another familiar face on the Southampton music scene makes his Marco on All Our Leaders : step forward Mr Lofi. It's a chuggy groover and another highlight, with an instantly memorable hook and defiant lyrics bemoaning .. well, anyone in charge, really.

The album ends with the acoustic poetry of Purple Friend, featuring Issa Loyaan Farrah and Pammie Moore and it makes for a great way to close out what's been an enjoyable and unusual musical meander.

I was meant to catch Zen Juddhism live this month but circumstances conspired against me, but I will do soon. They play all over the place, typically at venues like The Joiners, The Hobbit and The Railway Inn, so check out their website and Facebook pages for the latest updates and I'll see you there ! zenjuddhism.com

NOTICE Want us to review your band?

Head on over to our Facebook page: www.facebook.com

@theandguide say “hello”. Give us the details But just so you know, we’ll look to support those on our ARTIST Directory first. It’s only fair.

ZEN JUDDISM

JESSE & JOY Jesse & Joy

Sarah Darling Dream Country

Pop duo managed by Enrique Iglesias, They’re brother and sister, and the biggest current act in Latin America - they’re streaming figures are massive - 1.5 Billion YouTube views, 2.8+million YouTube subscribers, 15+ million likes on Facebook, 5+ million Twitter followers etc etc.

They have won several Latin Grammy Awards, and are nominated for their second US Grammy for their current album.

In February 3 East West are releasing Jesse & Joy’s first UK album - a combination of songs in Spanish and English. Three songs have already been playlisted on BBC Radio 2. It’s worth a YouTube visit to see what all the fuss is about.

Sarah Darling has already solidified her place as one of country music’s breakout performers and elite vocalists in the US. Now, following a sold out tour in England and Ireland and opening for the chart-topping Ward Thomas on their headline tour, the Nashville based singer-songwriter has set her sights on the UK. After 2 major label US releases, ‘Dream Country’ is Sarah’s first full-length transatlantic and independent release.

NELL BRYDEN Bloom [* Go get it! Ed]

the way. And the triumphant ones…like establishing herself as a singer-songwriter of real distinction and finding true love in the process.

“The word 'bloom' encapsulates what the album's about,” says Nell. “It's from a line in one of the songs I wrote, 'find your garden where you bloom.' It's that sense of 'I have to make the album I want to make now, and come into my own.' So it feels like quite a renaissance for me.

Almost a fixture on the BBC Radio 2 playlist over recent years, Nell has become a much-admired broadcaster on the network herself. Following the success of two series of 'Nell's Angels', in which she celebrated the extraordinary, genre-crossing female talent that inspired her own career, Nell is returning to the airwaves in January 2017 with a new four week series entitled ‘Nell’s Kitchen’. A musical journey through her home town of New York City, ‘Nell's Kitchen’ will see her celebrate a different area of the Big Apple that gave rise to a different genre of music, and a generation of great artists, the effect that music had on NYC and how that music then went on to become popular around the world.

"You can imagine how much I enjoyed being a musical tourist in my birthplace, I followed in the footsteps of some of music's greatest, all coming out of New York and its famous venues and after-hours joints. Artists and heroes of mine like Billie Holiday, Bob Dylan and Nile Rodgers led my way, and I loved every minute of retracing their musical history!”

New Radio 2 Series ‘Nell’s Kitchen’, 10pm, BBC Radio 2 Nell Bryden is a singer-songwriter, New Yorker, adopted Brit, beloved album artist, Radio 2 favourite and broadcaster, and now wife and mother. In every sense, she's come a long way to get here, and to see her career and her life blossom. No wonder her eagerly-awaited fifth album, due early in 2017, is going to be titled 'Bloom.'

The lead single, the admirably angry 'What Is It You Want,' sees her at the absolute top of her game. Playlisted on Radio 2 it is a tantalising taste of the album, which was recorded in London with producers Andy Wright and Gavin Goldberg. Those who've been lucky enough to hear the whole record, full of elegant songs of mature reflection, are calling it a new creative peak. Nell has also introduced other songs from 'Bloom' on an extensive British tour during the autumn.

There are artists who are independent in the music industry sense, and artists who are independent in mind, spirit and the sheer bloody-mindedness with which they’ve made something of themselves.

Nell Bryden fits both descriptions, and has the stories to prove it.

The funny ones...about thinking she was the next Maria Callas for a minute, or sleeping on a promoter’s couch that still bore the outline of the previous itinerant musician. The gritty ones…about 14-hour bus journeys to the next gig. The poignant ones…like witnessing 9/11, sacrificing her romantic life for years to pursue her artistic dream, and watching her hair fall out along

ED’s Verdict Jesse & Joy. No suprises here.

Managed by Mr Iglesias it’s exactly as you’d expect. Very nice but not my cup of tea.

Dream Country on the other hand, though not groundbreaking is simply a delight.

ED’s Verdict Wow ... it's like Joni Mitchell and Annie Lennox made a love child and gave her their best songs! Okay perhaps not quite, but damn this is a good album! Oh and the single should have been Lie to You... just sayin.

THE GUITAR STORE in Southampton was established in 1987 and have been a music shop faithfully serving families, musicians and collectors ever since. Selling the biggest brands in the world - Gibson, Fender, Taylor, Martin, Gretsch, Roland, Korg and many more!

ARTIST SHOWCASE

Call us now, we'll be happy to discuss orders, pricing, anything!

Sponsored by The Guitar Store

Tel: 023 8033 9668 www.theguitarstoreonline.co.uk

Looking for a band, singer, magician ... a DJ?

MON-SAT 10-5:30 SUN 11-4 | 62-66 Commercial Rd, Southampton SO15 1GD

Then look here. Tell them you saw them in The AND Guide!

YOUR BAND NOT HERE? So how many gigs will you miss out on then?

PLUS... as a ‘thank you’ we’ll put you at the front of the queue for review.

Email us now, its just £60 for 6 months! Yeah, really!

theandguide@mail.com

AXE SHOPPING Your Guide to buying Musical Equipment with ABSOLUTE MUSIC WE ARE BIG FANS OF THE AND GUIDE AT ABSOLUTE (WE HAVE IT IN ALL OF OUR TOILETS!) WE WISH MARTIN AND THE TEAM A VERY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY / BIRTHDAY! (ER.. THANKS, I THINK? ;) ED)

Welcome to the first of The AND Guide's column on buying music gear, by its good friends up the road at Absolute Music.

Over the coming episodes we'll hopefully help you choose the very best equipment for you as a musician while keeping you up-to-date on the ever changing world of axe shopping & music technology.

To start with, and to give you an insight into the comprehensive services and products on offer to the modern musician, Martin's said we might as well start by introducing us. Seems like a good place to start to me!

Buying things online is great and certainly has its perks, here at Absolute Music we send out lots of orders on a daily basis (often with free next day delivery), but if you are buying high-end equipment, such as a Fender American Professional Stratocaster or a set of Adam Audio studio monitors you will certainly want to try before you buy.

Luckily we have a dedicated room for showcasing our range of monitors where you can compare around 40 pairs of studio speakers (from brands such as Adam, Dynaudio, Focal, Unity, Genelec and more) at the press of a button.

If it’s an acoustic guitar that you are after, you will know that they can be sensitive creatures, which is why we have a one of a kind climate-controlled acoustic room, where you can try out acoustic guitars from Faith, Martin, Taylor and Gretsch. In particular, we are big fans of Faith, specifically the Faith Venus acoustic which was voted the best acoustic guitar in 2016 by the Music Industries Association, and we have them in stock and ready for you to try.

The recently launched Fender American Professional Series guitars have now arrived in stock and we have been absolutely blown away by the sound and playability, Fender has somehow managed to outdo themselves (again). You really need to play these guitars!

We also have a huge range of pianos and

keyboards ready to try out and demo. At the moment if you buy any Roland digital piano you will get a free 3 month online subscription to Sheet Music Direct (which is a bit like Spotify for sheet music). This deal includes the Roland HP504, which is a fantastically high quality home piano with classic design, sound and feel with a contemporary black finish.

Drummers will not feel left out when visiting Absolute. There is a huge drum room with a long wall of cymbals that holds all the best brands such as Zildjian, Meinl, Bosphorus, Sabian, Paiste and the new releases from Istanbul. There’s also plenty of snares, percussion pieces and full kits (electric and acoustic) for drummers to try.

Founded in 2003, Absolute Music is a local success story, going from strength to strength and growing year on year. Based in a huge two-storey superstore between Poole and Bournemouth, with dedicated rooms for guitars, pianos, drums and studio monitors, as well as a suite of rehearsal rooms and a recording studio, Absolute Music is a surefire destination for any musician of any ability on the South Coast. It is also worth noting that there is an on-site cafe, serving hot and cold food & drinks and a large free car park. Visit our website at www.absolutemusic.co.uk to buy any of our products online or come and visit us on Knighton Heath Estate, Bournemouth (near The Range).

A vibrant, traditional village pub in the heart of Wickham

WHAT’S ON:

february Saturday 11TH Feb: Sultan Sheiks Saturday 25th Feb: Chicago 9

march Friday 17th March: Reavers Rant ( St Patrick's Day ) Friday 31st March: Groovebreakers

This beautiful former coaching inn at the centre of historic Wickham has made a name for itself with great home-cooked food, excellent real ales and welcoming staff.

Our excellent menu is entirely hand-made, ranging from simple pub food to fine dining fare, including a wonderful Sunday roast.

SUPERB HOME COOKED FOOD | REAL ALES LOG FIRES | POOL TABLE | SKITTLE ALLEY GARDEN WITH CHILDREN’S PLAY AREA FUNCTION ROOM | LIVE MUSIC

ALL STARTING AT 9PM For latest info check us out on:

The King’s Head, The Square, Wickham PO17 5JN Tel. 01329 832123 www.kingsheadwickham.co.uk

L I G H T S

|

P A

|

S T A G E

Call us now for your concert, wedding, party or festival.

We will work with you to ensure your event is a seamless and professional occasion, remembered by all long after!

“Really good working with your team. The service I got was superb.” Ray Dorset, Mungo Jerry

Mobile: 07738 555293 lightsandbeats@gmail.com

pageand 25 july june

The AND Guide to: Finding a GREAT BREAKFAST! Apparrently our most talked about feature ... STILL! Which makes me wonder if I should sack everybody? This started as a moan.

Me whinging about not knowing more than a couple of decent places to get a decent breakfast... at breakfast time!

In time I hope to include everywhere locally that serves a decent breakfast. But if you’re not here my apologies, its down to one of 7 things. Everywhere on this list is open before 9am, it’s a beer, you didn’t tell me, I don’t know about you, I don’t think its any good, I forgot, or you won’t give me a free breakfast (research) Ed :), or it’s a pickip point for The AND Guide.

To make sure you’re in the next one email me at:

theandguide@mail.com

GENTING CLUB (12AM - 3AM) Terminus Terrace, Southampton SO14 3FE 023 8058 1872

THE VILLAGE BAKERY & TEA ROOM 48 Warsash Road, Warsash SO31 9JA 01489 574747

KATE'S CAFE LOUNGE 227 Portswood Road, Southampton SO15 2NF 023 8058 1872

ANNA’S KITCHEN Unit 8, Shedfield Nursery & Equestrian, Botley Road, Shedfield SO32 2HN

BOULANGERIE VICTOR HUGO 50 High Street, Southampton, SO142NS Open every day from 6.00 am

THE NAVIGATOR 286 Bridge Road, Lower Swanwick SO31 7EB 01489 572123

OZZY CAFE Harley Davidson, Heritage House, Second Avenue Southampton SO15 0LP

BONNE-BOUCHE High Street, Hamble-le-Rice SO31 4HA 023 8045 5771

RIVERSIDE DINER 13 Manor Farm Rd, Southampton SO18 1NN 023 8067 7569

THE BUS STOP CAFE Hound Farm Hound Road, Netley Abbey SO31 5FS

SOUTHAMPTON

ANNIE’S CAFE

ADAMS CAFE HARLEY-DAVIDSON

WESTLANDS FARM

THE SPITFIRE 130-132 Above Bar Street, Southampton SO14 7DU Tel: 02380 225 464

LILLY'S TEA & COFFEE HOUSE The Square, Wickham, Fareham PO17 5JQ 01329 830305

JACKPOT CAFE Portswood Road, Southampton SO17 2TD 023 8032 2079

WESTLANDS FARM SHOP Westlands Farm, Pricketts Hill, Shedfield SO32 2JW 01329 833832

METTRICKS OLD TOWN From 7:30 Mon-Fri, 9am Sat/Sun High Street, Southampton SO14 2AA 02380 710583 METTRICKS GUILDHALL From 7:30 Mon-Fri, 9am Sat/Sun 1 Guildhall Place, Guildhall Square, Southampton SO14 7DU Tel: 02380 710583 SWEET CORNER CAFE 19-23 Commercial Road, Southampton SO15 1GF 023 8082 9189 SIDEWALK SOUTH 24 High Street, Southampton SO14 2DF 023 8022 2323 CXO Nelson Gate, Frobisher House, Southampton SO15 1GX 023 8023 8181 THE ADMIRAL SIR LUCIUS CURTIS Canutes Pavilion, City Centre, Southampton SO14 3JS 023 8038 8940 CAFFE MOMENTO Unit 2 Guildhall Square, Southampton SO14 7FP 023 8023 3717 THE SQUARE ARTISAN CAFÉ 157-187 Above Bar Street, Southampton SO14 7NN 023 8031 9007 WHITE STAR TAVERN, Oxford Street Southampton SO14 3DJ0 023 8082 1990

COAST TO COAST (FROM 9AM) Unit 4, Shopping, Whitely, Fareham PO15 7PD

THE RETRO DINER 281 Shirley Road, Southampton SO15 3HT 023 8078 6921 CAFE REFLECTIONS 25 Shirley High Street, Southampton SO15 3NL 023 8077 8878 GEORGE'S CAFE & RESTAURANT 9 Church Street, Shirley, Southampton SO15 5LG SAINSBURYS HEDGE END Tollbar Way, Hedge End SO30 2Uh SAINSBURYS SHIRLEY 1 Redcar Street, Southampton SO15 5LL SAINSBURY'S PORTSWOOD 224 Portswood Road, Southampton SO17 2LB THE YELLOW WELLY Shamrock Quay, SO14 5QL 023 8022 3535 WOOLSTON CAFE 40 Portsmouth Road, Woolston SO19 9AD 023 8044 0918 PIGGYS 26 Victoria Road, Woolston SO19 9DX 023 8178 2059

RETRO CAFE 34 Bedford Place SO15 2DG 0782 890 8382

THE DINER 6 Market Buildings, Stoneham Lane, Swaythling Southampton SO16 2NL

HALLADAYS TEA ROOMS 6 Bedford Place, Southampton SO15 2DB 023 8078 6921

FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD 164a Southampton Road, Fareham, PO14 4PP 01489 589056

THE ADMIRAL SIR LUCIUS CURTIS

CAFE VALETTA 421 Millbrook Rd West, Southampton SO15 0HX (Opposite Goals) www.cafevalettasouthampton.com

CAFE CREME 31 Bedford Place, Southampton SO15 2DG 023 8023 6616

TESCO Hamble Lane, Bursledon, Southampton SO31 8GN

ANNIES CAFE 14 Portsmouth Road, Woolston SO19 9AA 023 8042 1200 CENTRAL COFFEE Central Hall, St Mary Street, Southampton SO14 1NF

EASTLEIGH & NORTH

WEST

KATHY’S KITCHEN 5 High St, Eastleigh SO50 5LB 023 8061 4217

NICE NOSH 50 Rumbridge Street, Totton SO40 9DS 023 8087 0242

CHANDLERS FORD GOLF ACADEMY, Chestnut Avenue, Eastleigh, SO5O 9PF 023 8061 4111

THE PILGRIM INN Hythe Road, Southampton SO40 4WU 023 8086 7752

THE COFFEE CORNER Boyatt Shopping Centre, Eastleigh SO50 4QP 023 8061 4654 THE WAGON WORKS 28 Southampton Road, Eastleigh SO50 9F 023 8062 2670 ASDA Bournemouth Road, Eastleigh SO53 3YJ CONCORDE CLUB, Stoneham Lane, Eastleigh SO50 9HQ 023 8061 3989 ROMSEY CAFE FRESH 9 Market Place Romsey SO51 8NB 01794 522602 THAT LITTLE TEA SHOP 48a The Hundred, Romsey SO51 8BX 01794 519852 THE CROMWELL ARMS PUB & HOTEL Mainstone, Romsey SO51 8HG 01794 519515 NICOLA'S TEA SHOP 8 Latimer Street, Romsey SO51 8DG 01794 523009

THE HIDEAWAY 183 Hampton Lane, Blackfield 074 2907 86617 CAFE PARISIAN 64 High St, Lyndhurst SO43 7BJ 023 8028 4546 HOCKEY’S FARM SHOP CAFE South Gorley, Fordingbridge SP6 2PW (8am - 6pm) 01425 652542 EAST THE FORUM DELI Solent Busines park, Whiteley, Fareham PO15 7AD BAKERY Whiteley Shopping, Whiteley, Fareham PO15 7PD 01489 564 445 THE ALMA (from 9am) Alma Lane, Upham SO32 1HE COFFEE HOUSE High street, Bishops Waltham SO32 1AA 01489 896990 VINEYS WHOLESOME FOOD 6 High Street, Botley SO30 2EA 01489 797781 THE BOAT HOUSE CAFE Swanwick Marina, Swanwick SO31 1ZL 01489 885745

BURGER/KEBAB VANS ETC Want your van in The AND Guide?

Email me. Why is there only one in the list? Because he’s still the only one that’s asked me. And because they’re great kebabs, enthusiastically and carefully prepared and given to me and occasionally guru sax player Tony Wright free ... yum!

OZZY KEBAB 2 Mansbridge Road, Southampton SO18 3HW 07481 763 300

february / march 2017

Call us now for a FREE no obligation consultation:

023 8060 1946 or 01962 715435

DOORS, WINDOWS & CONSERVATORIES Supplier & Installer of: Bi-fold Doors • Windows Doors • Conservatories • Patios • Sun Lounges FULL RANGE OF SECURITY PRODUCTS including: steel doors, roller shutters, gates, grills and automatic roller garage doors

Out of town... not out of touch!

Botley’s only trading standards approved and Which Trusted Trader garage

FAIR TRADES APPROVED

www.styleimprovementsltd.co.uk Email: phil@styleimprovements.co.uk

• WHICH Trusted Trader

Tel: 01962 715435 or 023 8060 1946

• Dealer level diagnostic testing & programming

The Friendly Professionals ... 25 years of unbroken trading and service! congratulations to martin & The AND Guide on 3 years promoting southampton!

• Transponder keys supplied cut & programmed at a fraction of dealer prices • Dedicated Tyre Bay. Fast-fit prices from a trusted local garage.

• State of the art equipment including laser tracking • Injectorman.com Seized - broken injector extraction specialist Hutfields of Botley, Unit19c, High Street, Botley, Southampton SO30 2EA Tel: 01489 783117 Fax: 01489 799747 Email: chris@hutfields.co.uk.

www.hutfields.com A family business since 1972, we bespoke your move to suit you, treating your goods as if they were our own. If you’re happy we're happy!

Call us now for a free no obligation quote DOMESTIC REMOVALS • COMMERCIAL REMOVALS • STORAGE • PACKAGING AND BOXES

HEAD OFFICE: ATLANTIC WORKS OAKLEY ROAD, SOUTHAMPTON SO16 4LL

www.mac-removals.co.uk

Southampton: 02380 663 783 Portsmouth 02392 177 142 Bournemouth 01202 929 318

Happy 3rd Birthday AND Guide, you’re making a real difference!

the city’s best ... empowering the and guide

page 27

The AND Guide Diary: The best listings in the South!

Brought to you in association with Rickster’s GIG GUIDE Facebook/RickstersGigGuide

LEGEND MUSIC

FEBRUARY WEDNESDAY 1ST

SPORT

NUFFIELD THEATRE Monstrous Regiment ART THE POINT FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT Jonathan Pie: Live THE CONCORDE COMEDY Jivin Miss Daisy ORANGE RMS, SOTON SHOWS Frozen Slumber Party HAROLD HILLIER GDNS NIGHTCLUBS Capability Brown Tree Trail Jane Austen Lecture Lunch JUST CHILDREN Winter I-Spy Trail ANTIQUES & FAYRES BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink MARKETS & CAR BOOTS PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco OTHER EVENTS Superslam Wrestling GUILDHALL P'M PLEASE NOTE. We have tried to ensure Cut Loose – Ilse Black entries are correct, but If we’ve got the odd A Self Portrait one wrong, sorry... The AND Guide cannot I.O.W. FESTIVAL EXHBIT’ accept any responsibility for inaccuracies.

A Moment in Time Some require tickets in advance. We advise telephoning the appropriate venue beforehand ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Philharmonia Orchestra on all occasions.

HAYMARKET, B'ST Ruby Wax WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail

FREE ENTRY in the AND Diary!

SIMPLY DISPLAY OUR FRONT COVER in a PROMINENT POSITION at your venue. Send us a pic to prove it and dada... you’re in!

As long as you keep the poster up, we’ll include your listing.

How fair is that?

(Don’t forget to send us your listings though - simply pointing us to the website won’t guarantee inclusion. It’s often very time consuming extracting it for our use.)

EMAIL US AT:

theandguide@mail.com The AND GUIDE DIARY is supported by: LEXUS HEDGE END Tel: 01489 664384 www.hedgeend.lexus.co.uk

THURSDAY 2ND NUFFIELD THEATRE Monstrous Regiment BERRY THEATRE Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them THE POINT NT Live: Amadeus THE ENGINE RMS Evil Scarecrow TALKING HEADS Paul Young THE JOINERS Galactic Empire THE CONCORDE Ladies Lunch – Mike Southwell The Opera Boys HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail MANGO, P/W Steve Picken BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling You Win Again – The Story of the Bee Gees SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Meet Fred Worst Wedding Ever

SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Amadeus HAYMARKET, B'ST The Wizard of OZ WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail THE PLATFORM, SOTON Bob Cheevers (Texas) FRIDAY 3RD NUFFIELD THEATRE Monstrous Regiment FOREST INN, ASHURST Jazz Wrann & The Ruby Welts THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST A Comedy Gala TALKING HEADS Fleetwood Mac – Tribute The Maple Leaf Lounge Session THE JOINERS Basement 83 THE BROOK Johnny2 Bad – UB40 tribute THE CONCORDE The Marley Experience MR KYPS, POOLE Black Water County & The Trav Cats HANGER FARM ART CTRE Old Herbaceous HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail MANGO C/V Jerco Ferec BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Abba FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Laughter Live KINGS THEATRE, P'M The Circus of Horrors WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M The Brent Hut Orange Steet SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Meet Fred Worst Wedding Ever C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE The Barber of Seville HAYMARKET, B'ST Roy Orbison WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail THE PLATFORM, SOTON Tim Payne's Platform Posse SATURDAY 4TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Monstrous Regiment Burglar Bill

BERRY THEATRE Round The Horne THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Constellations THE POINT Showtime THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Thinking Drinkers THE ENGINE RMS Innovation In The Dam Reunion THE JOINERS Menace Beach THE BROOK Cloudbursting 1865, SOTON King King + Broken Witts Rebels THE CONCORDE The Story of Guitar Heroes THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER The Winona Ryders MR KYPS, POOLE Willie & The Bandits + Willowen HANGER FARM ART CTRE The BFG Per Placere Chamber Orchestra THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Papillon, Ft. Ama Phoebe HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail Gardeners Breakfast & Tour BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Gary Delaney BSO – The Best of British FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Jamie Raven Live NEW THRE ROYAL, John Shuttleworth: My Last KINGS THEATRE, P'M Rule The world – Take That Tribute WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Mr B – The Gentleman Rhymer SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Meet Fred Worst Wedding Ever SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Volosi (Polish Klezmer Band) C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE Pat-a-Cake Baby B'STOKE ANVIL ARTS Ross Noble HAYMARKET, B'ST Chas & Dave SAINTS FC Saints v West Ham Utd PORTSMOUTH FC Wycomb – A AFC B'MOUTH Everton – A

EASTLEIGH FC Braintree Town – H AFC TOTTON Wimborne Town – A WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail FIREHOUSE, SOTON Black Dog JOLLY FARMER Shola Olu THE PLATFORM, SOTON Peter Leigh & The Union SUNDAY 5TH TURNER SIMS The Loop Project with IVO Neame BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest Moulettes TALKING HEADS Traditional Irish Folk Acoustic Session Gaz Brookfield Modern Jazz Club THE JOINERS So Punk Fest THE CONCORDE Sussex Jazz Kings HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling KINGS THEATRE, P'M Swinging At The Cotton Club GUILDHALL P'M Chinese New Year SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Big Band Brunch WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail MONDAY 6TH BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest O2 GUILDHALL Two Door Cinema Club HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling KINGS THEATRE, P'M Dreamboats & Petticoats SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever

WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail TUESDAY 7TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Billy Elliot The Musical TURNER SIMS Paul Lewis BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Fairport Convention TALKING HEADS Natty & The Rebel THE CONCORDE An Evening of Glen Miller music HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling KINGS THEATRE, P'M Dreamboats & Petticoats SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail WEDNESDAY 8TH BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Plaza Ghost Walks THE POINT The Little Mermaid Junior TALKING HEADS Ben Poole THE CONCORDE Jazz of Dudley Moore by Chris Ingham Quartet ORANGE RMS, SOTON Suicide Squad THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Jopey Landreth HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling KINGS THEATRE, P'M Dreamboats & Petticoats SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever B'STOKE ANVIL ARTS Psychic Sally THE FORGE, B'STK Anne Niepoid & Gregory Jolivet

BOYBAND SPECIAL

5IVE & 911 FRIDAY 10 FEBRUARY Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

Te l : 0 2 3 8 0 6 1 3 9 8 9

w w w. t h e c o n c o r d e c l u b . c o m

february / march 2017

Bournemouth indie-rock band play Hobbit Xander & The Keys are a 4 piece indie-rock band from Bournemouth. They are due to release their new single Faux Embrace to an expectant Hobbit on 17th February. Go check them out!

Faux Embrace is the 3rd single from Xander & The Keys, based on a poem by Abdul Rauf Benlagha and in his words ‘Faux embrace was born out of connection one can sometimes have with reality. This, in part was observed through the malaise of being a maturing adult.”

From this poem the song was born, Xander wrote a catchy riff and presented it to the band and the rest is history. Faux Embrace which will be widely available on multiple platforms from 11th February this year and will be released through the Spinnup platform in connection with Island Records.

A week prior to the songs release, the band’s music video directed by Tyler Palmer will have its world-wide release on Blank TV to their 660,000+ subscribers. The video set in the dark woods, paints a mysterious backdrop to the song’s lyrics and their true meaning.

So see you at the Hobbit (Never been to the Hobbit? Are you nuts! It’s an awesome venue and huge. Yes huge! Go visit) In the meantime, if you just can’t wait, visit their website and go streaming!

Beverley Knight

Facebook @ XanderAndTheKeys xandkeys.com

I ♥ SOULSVILLE TOUR 2017 SOUTHAMPTON 02 GUILDHALL WEDNESDAY 21ST JUNE Following the release of last year’s acclaimed Top 10 album Soulsville, singer songwriter and actress Beverley Knight announces a new UK Tour for summer 2017. Following a string of sold out gigs in the spring of 2016, and having completed a 6 month run in the smash hit west end musical The Bodyguard in January, Beverley is taking to the road again in her own right in June 2017. She will play a broad set featuring hits from her stellar career, highlights from the Soulsville album as well as a few customary surprises that fans have come expect from her legendary live shows.

Recorded early last year at Royal Studios in Memphis, Soulsville celebrates the music, sounds and legacy of Memphis and was produced by Grammy nominated Justin Stanley (Prince, Beck); it features original material co –written by Knight, alongside a handful of classic Memphis covers. The new tour will see her perform favourite tracks from this latest hit album, including the self-written radio 2 A-listed airplay hit Middle of Love and Knight’s stunning version of the Ann Peebles classic I Can’t Stand The Rain as well as fan favourites spanning her recording career, with a nod to her newer role as leading lady of the west end.

Triple Mobo winner and multiple Brit nominee Knight commented “Last year was so full of professional highlights - releasing my 8th studio album Soulsville and performing again in the West End to name but two. My first love is appearing on stage as myself and I can’t wait to give it my all again on the I ? Soulsville Tour.”

hgigst.rs/BKnight www.ticketmaster.co.uk/ Beverley-Knight-tickets/artist/932833 Tickets available at:

NAME: INSTRUMENT: AGE: HOME TOWN: FAVE FILM:

James More Bass 27 Wimborne Yep lots!

Xander Allen Singer 30 Bournemoth Lots!

FAVE BAND:

JK - Jamiroquai

Kings of Leon

PROFESSION:

Professional Green Keeper

Teacher

Richard Barker Drummer 30 Weymouth Anything with Arnie in!

Stereophonics and Korn, yeah very different!

Carpenter

Dan Edwards Lead guitar 27 Bournemouth The Matrix” Don’t have a favourite band Guitar teacher

NATHAN CARTER AND HIS BAND THE WANNA DANCE TOUR SUNDAY 26 FEBRUARY Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail THURSDAY 9TH TURNER SIMS Mary-Ann Ochota/Hidden Histories BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest – John Otway THE POINT The Little Mermaid Junior THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Hysteria TALKING HEADS Band Showcase THE CONCORDE Rob Lamberti as George Michael THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Rews HANGER FARM ART CTRE Phillip Henry & Hannah Martin HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail WINTER I-SPY TRAIL Lecture Lunch: Death In The Garden MANGO P/W Pete Harris & Hugh Budden BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE B’TH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Ross Noble – Brain Dump FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Syd Lawrence Orchestra NEW THRE ROYAL The Jungle Book KINGS THEATRE, P'M Dreamboats & Petticoats SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Talk: Dan Cruickshank ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Anton & Erin WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail THE PLATFORM, SOTON Robbie McIntosh & Andy Grant FRIDAY 10TH THE ALEX, SOTON The Diamond Age & The Fin TURNER SIMS Joe Stilgoe/Songs on Film BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest – The Swing Commanders THE POINT The Little Mermaid Junior THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Hysteria TALKING HEADS Daisy & The Wedding Toaster THE JOINERS Twin Peaks THE BROOK Mainly Madness 1865, SOTON The Sweet Soul Sensation Band THE CONCORDE Boyband special 5IVE & 911 THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Brightlight City

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MR KYPS, POOLE Julia Halon HANGER FARM ART CTRE Psychic Duo: Tom Davies & Pat Twigg THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Stanlaey HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE B’TH Cerco Superslam Wrestling KINGS THEATRE, P'M Dreamboats & Petticoats SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE Running Wild THE FORGE, B'STK Nathan Bell WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail THE PLATFORM, SOTON Derrin Nauendorf SATURDAY 11TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Little Bo Peep BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest THE POINT Moana THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Hysteria THE ENGINE RMS Fun Lovin Criminals THE JOINERS Tom Grennan THE STAGE DOOR Burlesque & Cabaret THE BROOK Maetloaf THE CONCORDE Liam White & His Little Big Band MR KYPS, POOLE Bryan Adams Experience THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Westbrook & Co Present Paintbox Jane HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE B’TH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Jimeoin: Renonsense Man Antiques & Collectors Fair FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Havant Chamber Orchestra NEW THRE ROYAL Abba Mania KINGS THEATRE, P'M Dreamboats & Petticoats GUILDHALL P'M The King is Back – Elvis Tribute WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Little Comets SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Matuki – Valentines Gig C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE Running Wild

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Comedy Club 4 kids ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE B'Stoke Symphony Orchestra HAYMARKET, B'ST The Jungle Book SAINTS FC Sunderland v Saints PORTSMOUTH FC Accrington Stanley – H EASTLEIGH FC Guiseley AFC – A AFC TOTTON Tiverton Town – H WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail FIREHOUSE, SOTON Recluse THE PLATFORM, SOTON Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords KINGS HEAD, WICKHAM Sultan Seiks SUNDAY 12TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Jimeoin: Renonsense Man BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest THE POINT Spotlight TALKING HEADS Traditional Irish Folk Acoustic Session Modern Jazz Club THE STAGE DOOR Rich Cottell 1865, SOTON Modern Baseball THE CONCORDE John Maddocks Jazzmen HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Antiques & Collectors Fair FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Antiques & Collectors Fair WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M The Girl From Mars SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE Running Wild WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail MONDAY 13TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Writers in Conversation – Evan Placey BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest THE POINT A Street Cat Named Bob O2 GUILDHALL Global Rock Challenge THE ENGINE RMS Spring King TALKING HEADS Open Mic HANGER FARM ART CTRE Movie Monday: Bridget Jones Baby HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail

BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Terrace Tales GUILDHALL P'M Busted SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever 3 Little Pigs C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE Running Wild AFC B'MOUTH Man City – H WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail TUESDAY 14TH BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest THE POINT West Side Story Accessible Cinema THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Pam Ayres THE ENGINE RMS Amber Run + Island TALKING HEADS Marco Mendoza Band

THE BROOK Valentine – Fundraise for Greg Gilbert THE CONCORDE The Stylistics Valentine special THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Valentines Supper Club with Daisy Chapman HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Terrace Tales SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE Running Wild The Complete Deaths PORTSMOUTH FC Blackpool – H WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail WEDNESDAY 15TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Mikado BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest THE POINT Accessible Cinema THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Rewind Forward THE ENGINE RMS Loyle Carner THE JOINERS Catholic Action ORANGE RMS, SOTON Inception

w w w. t h e c o n c o r d e c l u b . c o m THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Hampshire Hammers Karl Blau HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail MANGO P/W Archie Combe BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Terrace Tales NEW THRE ROYAL Silver Lining KINGS THEATRE, P'M Gangsta Granny SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever The Super Mega Rockin' Rockshow Castle Builder SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Serendipity C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE Running Wild The Complete Deaths HAYMARKET, B'ST Raffles – The Mystery of the Murdered Thief WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail

WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail THE PLATFORM, SOTON Southern Companion

THURSDAY 16TH

1865, SOTON

TURNER SIMS Vienna Piano Trio BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest NT Live Saint Joan THE POINT Accessible Cinema THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Midge Ure TALKING HEADS Band Showcase Paul Young & Friends HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Winter I-Spy Trail Lecture Lunch – Summer In Siberia BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Terrace Tales Annie FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM That'll Be The Day NEW THRE ROYAL Silver Lining KINGS THEATRE, P'M Gangsta Granny SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever This Moment SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ NY Live: Saint Joan C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE Running Wild The Complete Deaths ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Bootleg Beach Boys HAYMARKET, B'ST Raffles – The Mystery of the Murdered Thief

FRIDAY 17TH 1865, SOTON The Diamond Age TURNER SIMS TCHA Limberger BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest Rock Icons THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Kast Off Kinks FOREST INN, ASHURST Light & Shade THE POINT Accessible Cinema The Best Thing THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Chinese New Year Extravaganza THE ENGINE RMS ICW Wrestling TALKING HEADS Slaughter & The Dogs Maple Leaf Lounge Session THE JOINERS Cabbage THE BROOK Guitar Legends

CAVALRY A night for Greg Gilbert THE CONCORDE Big Girls Don't Cry THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Let's Play Ghosts MR KYPS, POOLE Coldplace THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Three Monkeys Acoustic Music HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail ROMSEY ABBEY Romsey Youth Choir, Male Voices Choir, Voices Concert BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink Wedding Show PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Terrace Tales Annie FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM The Christians NEW THRE ROYAL Silver Lining KINGS THEATRE, P'M Gangsta Granny GUILDHALL P'M LOL WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Kate Nash SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever Thor & Loki We Are Ian SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Guitar Day Swallows & Amazons – film

LEGEND OF A BAND THE MUSIC OF THE MOODY BLUES THURSDAY 9 MARCH Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE Running Wild The Complete Deaths ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Sue Perkins Live HAYMARKET, B'ST Raffles – The Mystery of the Murdered Thief WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail FIREHOUSE, SOTON Ghosts of Men + The Sweetchunks THE PLATFORM, SOTON This Way Up SATURDAY 18TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Walrus & Carpenter BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest – Son Yambu THE POINT Accessible Cinema Proffessional Development Day with James Cousins THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Jonathan Pie THE BROOK Green-ish 1865, SOTON The Small Fakers + Ready Steady Who THE CONCORDE Women in Rock THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Chuck Prophet & The Mission Express HANGER FARM ART CTRE Spoonful of Sugar THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Spitdust MANOR FARM C/P Feathered Friends Half Term Trail LEPE C/P Half Term Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail MOTTISFONT ABBEY Scribbles &Sketchs BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink Wedding Showcase Beachead 2017 – Wargames show PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Terrace Tales Annie FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM The Greatest Hits of Motown NEW THRE ROYAL Silver Lining KINGS THEATRE, P'M Gangsta Granny WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M The 5th Annual St Valentines Massacre Richard Morris Hitfaced SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever All The Journeys I never Took Fish Eye SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Much Ado About Puffin C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE Running Wild The Complete Deaths

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ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Rumours of Fleetwood Mac HAYMARKET, B'ST Raffles – The Mystery of the Murdered Thief THE FORGE, B'STK Connia PORTSMOUTH FC Barnet – A EASTLEIGH FC Tranmere Rovers – H AFC TOTTON Yate Town – A WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail FIREHOUSE, SOTON Our Propaganda THE PLATFORM, SOTON MJ Whipround

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Climb a Tree MOTTISFONT ABBEY Scribbles &Sketchs PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Coppelia FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Yes Minister GUILDHALL P'M Lawson Piano Trio SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail JOLLY FARMER Quiz & Curry Night

SUNDAY 19TH

TUESDAY21ST

NUFFIELD THEATRE MGM Story BERRY THEATRE Hedge End Inaugural Music Fest – Moscow Drug Club TALKING HEADS Traditional Irish Folk Acoustic Session Modern Jazz Club 1865, SOTON Giving Something Back to Barrie THE CONCORDE Muskat Ramblers MR KYPS, POOLE Gentlemans Dub Club HANGER FARM ART CTRE Spoonful of Sugar MANOR FARM C/P Feathered Friends Half Term Trail LEPE C/P Half Term Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail MOTTISFONT ABBEY Scribbles & Sketchs BIC, B'MTH Ice Rink Wedding Show PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Terrace Tales Annie FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Yes Minister WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Sean Walsh SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail

BERRY THEATRE Storks THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Spring Into Science DNA THE POINT Legally Blonde TALKING HEADS Jazz Club THE JOINERS Masked Intruder ++ MANOR FARM C/P Feathered Friends Half Term Trail Woodland Activities ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Prickly Hedgehogs LEPE C/P Half Term Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail MOTTISFONT ABBEY Scribbles &Sketchs BIC, B'MTH An Evening with Eric Cantona PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling The Nutcracker FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Yes Minister NEW THRE ROYAL Fractured Fairytales KINGS THEATRE, P'M 9 To 5 SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Wanna Dance With Somebody ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Philharmonia Orchestra WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail

MONDAY 20TH NUFFIELD THEATRE 451 – Feb 2-17 Roon On The Broom BERRY THEATRE Pat a Cake Baby TALKING HEADS Open Mic MANOR FARM C/P Feathered Friends Half Term Trail LEPE C/P Half Term Trail

WEDNESDAY 22ND MAYFLOWER THEATRE Dance With Layton THE PLAZA, ROMSEY DNA THE POINT Legally Blonde THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Oklahoma O2 GUILDHALL Afternoon Tea Dance

TALKING HEADS The Sherlocks THE JOINERS Lewis Smith THE CONCORDE Back to Basie Orchestra ORANGE RMS, SOTON John Wick - FILM THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Me For Queen MANOR FARM C/P Feathered Friends Half Term Trail Junior Forest School Little Forester Woodland Stories LEPE C/P Half Term Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Family Romans Archaelogy Outdoor Explorer holiday Club MOTTISFONT ABBEY Scribbles & Sketchs PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Swan Lake FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Yes Minister NEW THRE ROYAL Fractured Fairytales Macondo KINGS THEATRE, P'M 9 To 5 GUILDHALL P'M Brit Floyd WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Sundara Karma SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever SALISBURY ARTS Centr’ The Word On The Street Jon Udry Punches Gravity In The Face WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail THURSDAY 23RD TURNER SIMS John Williams, John Etheridge and Gary Ryan 6 Hands BERRY THEATRE A Street Cat Named Bob THE PLAZA, ROMSEY DNA THE POINT Legally Blonde THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Oklahoma THE CONCORDE The Legends of Soul THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Sweetner HANGER FARM ART CTRE Phil Beer MANOR FARM C/P Feathered Friends Half Term Trail ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Prickly Hedgehogs LEPE C/P Half Term Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Outdoor Explorer holiday Club MOTTISFONT ABBEY Scribbles & Sketchs

w w w. t h e c o n c o r d e c l u b . c o m PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Swan Lake FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Footloose KINGS THEATRE, P'M 9 To 5 GUILDHALL P'M B.S.O Organ Recitals WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M The Sherlocks SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever Concrete Say That Again ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Gangsta Granny WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail THE PLATFORM, SOTON Jon Walsh Trio FRIDAY 24TH BERRY THEATRE Chester Tuffnut THE PLAZA, ROMSEY DNA THE POINT Legally Blonde THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Oklahoma TALKING HEADS Nightingales/Membranes THE STAGE DOOR Fox & Rabbits Idiots Guide to the Owl & The Pussycat Manfords Comedy Club THE BROOK Guns 2 Roses THE CONCORDE All Folk'd Up THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Rob Heron & The Tea Pad Orchestral SIR WALTER TYRRELL The Funk Bunnies MR KYPS, POOLE Whole Lotta Led HANGER FARM ART CTRE Simon & Garfunkel tribute in concert THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Open Mic Night MANOR FARM C/P Feathered Friends Half Term Trail Little Foresters Woodland Stories LEPE C/P Half Term Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Family Bushcraft: Pancakes MOTTISFONT ABBEY Scribbles & Sketchs BIC, B'MTH Kaiser Chiefs PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling 2017 Rock Challenge FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Footloose KINGS THEATRE, P'M 9 To 5 GUILDHALL P'M Pro Wrestling

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever Spillikn – A Love Story SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Barnstormers ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Gangsta Granny WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail FIREHOUSE, SOTON Gurt + Thuum + Cutlass THE PLATFORM, SOTON Chicago 9 SATURDAY 25TH BERRY THEATRE Moana Hedge End Residents Day THE PLAZA, ROMSEY DNA THE POINT Legally Blonde THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Oklahoma THE ENGINE RMS Super Hans TALKING HEADS The Uplifter THE JOINERS With Confidence THE STAGE DOOR A SONG FOR YOU – THE STORY OF KAREN CARPENTER THE BROOK The Beat 1865, SOTON Don Letts & Soul 45 THE CONCORDE Ultimate Soul & Disco Night THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Shelly Preston HANGER FARM ART CTRE Andy Zaltzman: Plan Z MANOR FARM C/P Feathered Friends Half Term Trail LEPE C/P Half Term Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail MOTTISFONT ABBEY Scribbles & Sketchs PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling The Vegas Show FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Footloose NEW THRE ROYAL Bright Sparks KINGS THEATRE, P'M 9 To 5 WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Sophie Ellis-Bexter SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Worst Wedding Ever Wail SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Live Lunch: Beth Ford & Nia Nicholls MET: Rusalka ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Gangsta Granny SAINTS FC Saints v Arsenal PORTSMOUTH FC Carlisle – A

AFC B'MOUTH Albion – A EASTLEIGH FC Dover Athletic – A AFC TOTTON Didcot Town – H WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail FIREHOUSE, SOTON Triaxis THE PLATFORM, SOTON Backwater Roll KING HEAD, WICKHAM Chicago 9 SUNDAY 26TH NUFFIELD THEATRE David O'Doherty! Big Time TALKING HEADS Traditional Irish Folk Acoustic Session MODERN JAZZ CLUB Orgy THE JOINERS Hellions THE BROOK Karnataka THE CONCORDE Nathan Carter & His Band MR KYPS, POOLE Fearne: Farewell show + Jack Grace MANOR FARM C/P Feathered Friends Half Term Trail LEPE C/P Half Term Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail MOTTISFONT ABBEY Scribbles &Sketchs TUDOR HOUSE Tour & Tea BIC, B'MTH Pet Shop Boys PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM The Jerseys – Oh What A Night KINGS THEATRE, P'M La Boheme ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Gangsta Granny WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail MONDAY 27TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment THE POINT A United Kingdom THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Chris Ramsey TALKING HEADS Open Mic HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling KINGS THEATRE, P'M Sue Perkins Live WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Laurel SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Play That Goes Wrong WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail TUESDAY 28TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST The Craig Chalmers Experience THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Benjamin Folke Thomas THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON The Blackheart Orchestra HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail

PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling NEW THRE ROYAL Joseph & The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat KINGS THEATRE, P'M Amadeus WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Senator SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Play That Goes Wrong PORTSMOUTH FC Morecambe – H EASTLEIGH FC Aldershot Town FC – H WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail THE PLATFORM, SOTON Blues/Folk Jam & Open Mic Night

MARCH WEDNESDAY 1ST NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST The Craig Chalmers Experience TALKING HEADS Alex Skolnick Trio THE CONCORDE Ray Gelato's Enforcers ORANGE RMS, SOTON Wolverine - FILM THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Winchester Folk Club HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Nabucco NEW THRE ROYAL Joseph & The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat KINGS THEATRE, P'M Cinderella – The Australian Ballet SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Play That Goes Wrong WINCHESTER CITY Jane Austen 200 – Rain Jane Trail THURSDAY 2ND NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment TURNER SIMS Chloe Hanslip and Danny Driver/Beethoven Violin Sonatas BERRY THEATRE Rogue One: A Star Wars Story THE POINT Material Men Redux THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST We're Going On A Bear Hunt THE ENGINE RMS The Answer TALKING HEADS Paul Young & Friends Modern Jazz Club THE JOINERS The Amazons THE CONCORDE Tyler Jon as Gary Barlow HANGER FARM ART CTRE Kelly Oliver HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail MOTTISFONT ABBEY Little Adventurers PAVILION THEATRE BMTH CERCO Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Aida NEW THRE ROYAL Joseph & The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat KINGS THEATRE, P'M Roy Orbison

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Play That Goes Wrong SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Southside With You THE PLATFORM, SOTON Jinder

ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE BSO HAYMARKET, B'ST Room on The Broom THE PLATFORM, SOTON Tim Payne's Platform Posse

FRIDAY 3RD

SATURDAY 4TH

NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment TURNER SIMS Sowento Kinch Trio FOREST INN, ASHURST Underdogs THE POINT Thrive THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST We're Going On A Bear Hunt TALKING HEADS Bourbon Crew THE JOINERS Annisokay + Griever THE BROOK Doors Alive 1865, SOTON Jo Harman THE CONCORDE The Prince Experience MR KYPS, POOLE Dreadzone HANGER FARM ART CTRE Elvis -The Concerts HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail MANGO Still Moving DJ's PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club The Bon Jovi Experience FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Chas & Dave NEW THRE ROYAL Joseph & The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M The Total Stone Roses SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Play That Goes Wrong Leaf SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ The Grahams

NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment Old Mother Hubbard TURNER SIMS Rafael Aguirre BERRY THEATRE Ballerina THE POINT The Red Shed THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST We're Going On A Bear Hunt THE BROOK The Mods THE CONCORDE Champagne Soul THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Lexi Wolfe: Mrs Oscar Wilde ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Park Walk HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH CERCO Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club The Fat Back Band BSO – Spring Into Summer FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Purple Zeppelin NEW THRE ROYAL Joseph & The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat KINGS THEATRE, P'M Stand by Me - Celebration of Ben E King & The Drifters WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Jerry Williams SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Play That Goes Wrong Leaf SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Live Lunch: Harriet Earis Perita Sinclair ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Mayor's Spring Charity Concert

HAYMARKET, B'ST Room on The Broom SAINTS FC Watford v Saints PORTSMOUTH FC Crewe – H AFC B'MOUTH Man Utd – A EASTLEIGH FC York City – A AFC TOTTON Slimbridge – A FIREHOUSE, SOTON Stone Free THE PLATFORM, SOTON Ruby & The Roughcuts SUNDAY 5TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST We're Going On A Bear Hunt TALKING HEADS Traditional Irish Folk Acoustic Session Modern Jazz Club Blackbeards Tea Party THE JOINERS Evarose 1865, SOTON Tragedy THE CONCORDE Savannah Jazz Band ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Cemetery Walk HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club GOWER, COWDREY & THE HOLY BAIL FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Kim Ellen School of Dance SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Brit Floyd THE FORGE, B'STK Peter Knight's Gigspanner MONDAY 6TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment

The Grapes of Wrath THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Heaven Eyes O2 GUILDHALL Sum41 TALKING HEADS Open Mic HANGER FARM ART CTRE Tony Allen Exhibition HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BIC, B'MTH The X Factor Live PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Verdit SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair TUESDAY 7TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter James' Not Dead Enough TURNER SIMS She'Koyokh THE POINT Evita THEATRE ROYAL, W'CHST Mapdance TALKING HEADS The Splash/ Fairweather THE JOINERS Sweet & Tender HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club KINGS THEATRE, P'M Cirque de Glace - Evolution WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Vant SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Verdit SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair

PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club GUILDHALL P'M Piatti Quartet SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair JOLLY FARMER Quiz & Curry Night TUESDAY 14TH

WEDNESDAY 8TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter James' Not Dead Enough THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Plaza Ghost Walks THE POINT Evita THE CONCORDE Marlene Verplanck ORANGE RMS, SOTON American Sniper - FILM THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Chris Wood HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BIC, B'MTH Elbow PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club KINGS THEATRE, P'M Cirque de Glace – Evolution SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Verdit SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair Scary S**t HAYMARKET, B'ST Northhanger Abbey TALKING HEADS Southern Companion/he Kondoor THURSDAY 9TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter James' Not Dead Enough BERRY THEATRE NT Live Hedda Gabler THE POINT Evita THE ENGINE RMS State Champs THE CONCORDE Legend of a Band THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Red Tent HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail MOTTISFONT ABBEY Little Adventurers

PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club An Evening with Psychic Tony Stockwell FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM The Manfreds Jenny Docherty – Medium NEW THRE ROYAL Pirates of Penzance KINGS THEATRE, P'M Cirque de Glace – Evolution SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Verdit SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair NT Live: Hedda Gabler HAYMARKET, B'ST Northhanger Abbey TALKING HEADS Mad Dog McRea THE PLATFORM, SOTON Patrick Duff FRIDAY 10TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter James' Not Dead Enough TURNER SIMS Fo'c'sle in the Foyer/Vin Garbutt BERRY THEATRE Showstopper! The Improvised Musical THE POINT Evita THE BROOK These Smiths 1865, SOTON Hazel O'Connor THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Fighting Caravans HANGER FARM ART CTRE Adam Hess & Rhys James HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail Gin & Bear It PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club NEW THRE ROYAL Pirates of Penzance KINGS THEATRE, P'M Cirque de Glace – Evolution SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Verdit The Misfit Analysis

SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Omid Djalili HAYMARKET, B'ST Northhanger Abbey THE FORGE, B'STK Eduardo Niebla FIREHOUSE, SOTON Metal Gods THE PLATFORM, SOTON Dead Poets SATURDAY 11TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath Goldilocks MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter James' Not Dead Enough THE POINT Evita Wendy Houstoun THE ENGINE RMS Ben Haenow THE CONCORDE Swinging at the Cotton Club Only Olly as Olly Murs THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER We Know John HANGER FARM ART CTRE Richard Digance HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BIC, B'MTH Jimmy Carr PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Anton & Erin NEW THRE ROYAL Pirates of Penzance KINGS THEATRE, P'M Cirque de Glace – Evolution GUILDHALL P'M L.O.L WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Funk You Piano Wire SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Verdit The Misfit Analysis SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair MET: La Traiata ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE 80's Invasion Tour 2017

HAYMARKET, B'ST Northhanger Abbey THE FORGE, B'STK Zoe Lyons SAINTS FC Saints v Manchester Utd PORTSMOUTH FC Colchester – A AFC B'MOUTH West Ham – H EASTLEIGH FC Barrow AFC – H AFC TOTTON Bridgewater Town – A THE PLATFORM, SOTON Average Blues Band

NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE Ghost The Musical TURNER SIMS Chiaroscuro Quartet THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Pride & Prejudice THE POINT Singin In The Rain THE CONCORDE Quiz in aid of Countess Mountbatten Hospice HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Annie NEW THRE ROYAL Scattered WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M The Pideon Detectives SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair 'The Science & Beauty of Birds' HAYMARKET, B'ST Skerryvore PORTSMOUTH FC Grimsby - H WEDNESDAY 15TH

NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE Anton & Erin – Swing Time THE CONCORDE John Maddock s Jazz Men THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Clive Carroll HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club KINGS THEATRE, P'M Cirque de Glace – Evolution SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Paul Carrach TALKING HEADS Traditional Irish Folk Acoustic music Dutch Uncles Southampton Jaz Club

NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE Ghost The Musical THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Pride & Prejudice ORANGE RMS, SOTON The Adams Family - FILM THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Hampshire Hammers HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Rob Brydon FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Annie NEW THRE ROYAL An Audience with Lesley Garrett WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Benjamin Francis Leftwich SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Rory Bremner SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair Dr Sketchy's Salisbury TALKING HEADS Bar Stool Preachers

MONDAY 13TH

THURSDAY 16TH

NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath Writers in Conversation – Claire Fuller THE POINT A Monster Calls O2 GUILDHALL All Time Low + SWMRS HANGER FARM ART CTRE Movie Monday: The Girl on the Train HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail

NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE Ghost The Musical TURNER SIMS Peter Edwards/A Journey with the Giants of Jazz BERRY THEATRE Justin Moorhouse: People & Feelings THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Pride & Prejudice

SUNDAY 12TH

THE JOINERS Nathan Grisdale THE CONCORDE The Osmonds HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail MOTTISFONT ABBEY Little Adventurers BIC, B'MTH Anderson, Rabin & Wakeman PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts The Circus of Horrors FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Annie KINGS THEATRE, P'M Dirty Rotten Scoundrels SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Jonny & The Baptists: Eat The Poor Tangomotion SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair Film: I,Daniel Blake HAYMARKET, B'ST The Country Superstars Experience TALKING HEADS Stevie Nimmo Paul Young & Friends THE PLATFORM, SOTON Hannah Robinson Band FRIDAY 17TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE Ghost The Musical THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Pride & Prejudice FOREST INN, ASHURST Workshy THE ENGINE RMS Sonata Arctica THE JOINERS The Early November THE BROOK The ZZ Tops THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Big Boy Bloater & The Limits MR KYPS, POOLE Saiichi Sugiyama HANGER FARM ART CTRE The Flying Toads – St Patricks Day Celebration THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Three Monkeys Acoustic Music HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts 80's Mania Sara Pascoe – Animal FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Annie NEW THRE ROYAL Frankies Guys KINGS THEATRE, P'M Dirty Rotten Scoundrels WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M T-Rextasy SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Jonny & The Baptists: Eat The Poor A Swingin Affair SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair ALLAN YN Y FAN: ST PATRICKS DAY TWMPATH ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Gower, Cowdrey & The Holy Bail HAYMARKET, B'ST An Evening of Dirty Dancing THE FORGE, B'STK Megson FIREHOUSE, SOTON Drunk Education

THE DUBLIN LEGENDS

FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE DUBLINERS FRIDAY 31 MARCH Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane TALKING HEADS Coutesans THE PLATFORM, SOTON Junco Shakers KING HEAD, WICKHAM Reavers Rant SATURDAY 18TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath Pat A Cake Baby MAYFLOWER THEATRE Ghost The Musical THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Pride & Prejudice THE POINT Fuse Dance Platform O2 GUILDHALL Southampton Philharmonic Choir THE BROOK The Style Councillors 1865, SOTON Special Kinda Madness – Tribute THE CONCORDE Rufus Stone THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Imperial Leisure MR KYPS, POOLE Goldie Lookin Chain HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts Frankly Sinatra FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Annie NEW THRE ROYAL The Wonderful Dreams of OZ KINGS THEATRE, P'M Dirty Rotten Scoundrels GUILDHALL P'M Beating Heart 2017 SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Jonny & The Baptists: Eat The Poor The Reduced Shakespear Co SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair Live Lunch: Sagat Guirey Talk: David Starkey – Henry VIII ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Orchesta of the Age of Enlightenment SAINTS FC Tottenham Hotspur v Saints PORTSMOUTH FC Stevenage – A AFC B'MOUTH Swansea – H EASTLEIGH FC Chester – A AFC TOTTON Mangotsfield Utd – H FIREHOUSE, SOTON We Waz Ozzy TALKING HEADS Ferocious Dog THE PLATFORM, SOTON MJ Whipround SUNDAY 19TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

Te l : 0 2 3 8 0 6 1 3 9 8 9

The Brook got The Beat!

With an upcoming UK Tour supporting 2-Tone Band Selector and a highly acclaimed album ‘Bounce’, released September 2016, The Beat most certainly remain “one of the most musically diverse bands to come out of the multi-racial, multi cultural explosion that made British pop music” UKMusicReview

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 25th 2017

The Beat are still up there as all time Ska Favourites ~ a band you recognize in an instant ~ from a snatch of vocal, an intimate snap and swagger of rhythm, a sonic fingerprint that says this could not possibly be anyone else.

Before hitting the road with old mates, Selecter, The Beat Feat.

Ranking Roger will make a welcome return to The Brook, Southampton’s Friendliest Live Music Venue, on Saturday 25th February. Expect to be blown away by the spectacular new fourth album by first-generation 2 Tone skankers turned purveyors of joyous political pop. From the clipped and hectic rude boy shuffle of new tunes ‘Avoid The Obvious’ to the chiming sunshine pop romance of ‘Heaven Hiding’ through to ‘Fire Burn’s’ heavyduty righteousness, ‘Bounce’ shows off every gleaming aspect of the most musically diverse band to come out of the multiracial, multicultural explosion that remade British pop from 1979 onwards.

‘Bounce’ is the first album from The Beat in over 30 years and released on independent label DMF Records.

Written by a combination of Ranking Roger, Mick Lister and Ranking Junior, it has been produced by Mick Lister (Bad Company, Amy Winehouse, The

Feeling) and mixed by Tim Hamill and Mick Lister except Side to Side and My Dream mixed by Dennis Bovell (The Slits, Madness) The same energy that drove the hit singles of the 80s; ‘Mirror In The Bathroom’, ‘Stand Down Margaret’ and ‘Too Nice To Talk To’ – reggae looseness plus razor-sharp song writing meets the paranoid pace of punk – is here again. It’s all been re-rubbed, freshened and refracted through the multiple dance sounds that followed on from 2 Tone, all the black-meets-white, bass-meets-melody mashups that The Beat helped to trigger. Look into the DNA of every generation of British ravers from The Prodigy through drum’n’bass to UK grime and you’ll find traces of The Beat in there.

Joining Roger in the revitalised Beat is his son Ranking Junior AKA Matthew Murphy, a powerhouse MC who adds a new dimension to The Beat’s live shows, along with drummers Oscar Harrison of Ocean Colour Scene and Fuzz Townshend of Pop Will Eat Itself. The line-up is completed by Chiko Hamilton on sax, bass guitar Andy Pearson, guitarist Steve Harper and Bobby Bird whose background in ambient dub as Higher Intelligence Agency brings a new psychedelic dimension to The Beat.

Ticket Price: £17.50 in advance £20.00 on the door Doors Open: 8:00 pm Onstage Times: (Ap) 8:30 - 9:30 Age 18+ (14+Accompanied) Call Box Office:

023 8055 5366 Or Pop In To The Box Office: The Brook, 466 Portswood Road Southampton SO17 3SD Box Office Hours: Monday Saturday 1pm 7pm www.thebrook.com www.wegottickets.com /event/382258

w w w. t h e c o n c o r d e c l u b . c o m

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Rock Around The Gaumont THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Dancing At Lughnasa THE ENGINE RMS Suicide Silence THE CONCORDE Jools & The Jazzaholics HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BIC, B'MTH Craig David PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts Military Musical Celebration WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Canaan Smith SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair Big Band Brunch – Girls only Jazz Orchestra ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Hants County Council Chairmans Concert TALKING HEADS Traditional Irish Folk Acoustic music Southampton Modern Jazz Club MONDAY 20TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath O2 GUILDHALL The Stranglers HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts KINGS THEATRE, P'M Thoroughly Modern Millie SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair Home THE PLATFORM, SOTON Ian Seigal & Support TUESDAY 21ST NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Red Shoes THE JOINERS Foxing HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH CERCO Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts NEW THRE ROYAL City of Angels KINGS THEATRE, P'M Thoroughly Modern Millie WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Lewis Watson C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE NT Connections ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Jimmy Carr HAYMARKET, B'ST The Witches of Eastwick THE FORGE, B'STK Bronwyn Brent EASTLEIGH FC Torquay Utd – A TALKING HEADS Southampton Jazz Club WEDNESDAY 22ND NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Red Shoes

THE CONCORDE Pete Longs Orchestra ORANGE RMS, SOTON The Incredibles HANGER FARM ART CTRE Totton Festival of Drama HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BIC, B'MTH Ricky Gervais: Humanity PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts Pavilion Tea Dance FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Music Hall Tavern KINGS THEATRE, P'M Thoroughly Modern Millie WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Declan McKenna C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE NT Connections HAYMARKET, B'ST The Witches of Eastwick

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts Pavilion Tea Dance Mike & The Mechanics NEW THRE ROYAL Andy Parsons KINGS THEATRE, P'M Thoroughly Modern Millie SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair Rusty Shackle C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE NT Connections ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Rob Brydon HAYMARKET, B'ST The Witches of Eastwick TALKING HEADS March of The Mods THE PLATFORM, SOTON Swampgrass SATURDAY 25TH

THURSDAY 23RD NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Red Shoes TURNER SIMS Barry Douglas 1865, SOTON Saiichi Sugyama Band THE CONCORDE The Wurzels THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Hurray for the Riff Raff HANGER FARM ART CTRE Totton Festival of Drama THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Oddbox Theatre: A Dolls House HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail MOTTISFONT ABBEY Little Adventurers PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts Pavilion Tea Dance FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Forbidden KINGS THEATRE, P'M Thoroughly Modern Millie GUILDHALL P'M BSO WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Power Quest SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair Flm: The Innocents C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE NT Connections HAYMARKET, B'ST The Witches of Eastwick TALKING HEADS The Outcasts THE PLATFORM, SOTON Sarah Harrison Band FRIDAY 24TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Grapes of Wrath MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Red Shoes THE PLAZA, ROMSEY As Good As New – Abba Tribute THE ENGINE RMS Crowbar THE CONCORDE Comedy with Dave Johns HANGER FARM ART CTRE Totton Festival of Drama THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Oddbox Theatre: A Dolls House

NUFFIELD THEATRE The Grapes of Wrath Leaf MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Red Shoes TURNER SIMS The Orchestral Decathlon, Concert 1,2 & 3 BERRY THEATRE Count Arthur Strong: The Sounds of Mucas THE POINT Cherry Tree Lane Cafe Choreographique O2 GUILDHALL Thunder THE BROOK Dreadzone 1865, SOTON Hey THE CONCORDE Abba Rival Mike All Buble & Robbing Williams THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Croft & Pearce MR KYPS, POOLE Albany Down HANGER FARM ART CTRE Totton Festival of Drama LEPE C/P Lepe Beach Clean HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail TUDOR HOUSE Vaults Tours PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts Pavilion Tea Dance BSO – Glorious Mozart FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Pasha Kovale NEW THRE ROYAL Dancing with Choirs 2017 KINGS THEATRE, P'M Thoroughly Modern Millie GUILDHALL P'M Mike & The Mechanics WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Dub Pistols SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Giant Jam Sandwich SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair Live Lunch: Jo Quail MET: Idomeneo C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE NT Connections HAYMARKET, B'ST The Witches of Eastwick PORTSMOUTH FC Newport County – H EASTLEIGH FC Gateshead – H

AFC TOTTON Wantage Town – A FIREHOUSE, SOTON M.A.R.S THE PLATFORM, SOTON John Crampton SUNDAY 26TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment Andy Parsons – Peak Bullsh*t THE CONCORDE Mothers Day Lunch with GoJo G4 – Live in Concert 2017 HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BLUE FUNNELL, SOTON Mothers Day Lunch Cruise LAKESIDE RAILWAY HCS Bullock Locomotives Day PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts Pavilion Tea Dance KINGS THEATRE, P'M Hedda Gabbler Live SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair C'CHST FESTIVAL THTRE NT Connections ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Pilharmonia at the Movies MONDAY 27TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Organ Concerts Pavilion Tea Dance FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Menopause NEW THRE ROYAL The Woman in Black SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair TUESDSAY 28TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Twits MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time THE POINT James Finnemore Presents Bloom HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BIC, B'MTH Olly Murs PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts Pavilion Tea Dance NEW THRE ROYAL The Woman in Black SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE As The Crow Flies SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair HAYMARKET, B'ST Under Milkwood THE PLATFORM, SOTON Blues/Folk Jam & Open Mic Night WEDNESDAY 29TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Twits MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time

THE CONCORDE Ben Waters Quartet HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Organ Concerts Pavilion Tea Dance The Bootleg Beatles in Concert NEW THRE ROYAL The Woman in Black WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE As The Crow Flies Echo's End SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair HAYMARKET, B'ST Oysters 3 THURSDAY 30TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Twits Show! How? MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time BERRY THEATRE Made in Dagenham O2 GUILDHALL Psychic Sally THE CONCORDE Peter Alliss – A Question of Golf THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Groove Merchant HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Pavilion Tea Dance Organ Concerts FERNHAM HALL Wall of Flloyd NEW THRE ROYAL The Woman in Black Professor Fredericks Ghost Walks WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Bronze Nazareth & The Wisemen SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE As The Crow Flies Echo's End SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair HAYMARKET, B'ST Danny Baker TALKING HEADS Pulled Apart by Horses THE PLATFORM, SOTON Rik Van Den Busch FRIDAY 31ST NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Twits Show! How? MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time TURNER SIMS Alfredo Rodriguez Trio BERRY THEATRE Made in Dagenham THE POINT Alice THE STAGE DOOR Manfords Comedy Club THE BROOK Noasis 1865, SOTON Creeper THE CONCORDE THE DUBLIN LEGENDS THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Wild Frpmt//The Assist SIR WALTER TYRRELL The Micro Dots

MR KYPS, POOLE Garland Jeffreys & Band HANGER FARM ART CTRE The Lost Songs of Jake Thackray THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Open Mic Night HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail MANGO Loca Loco PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Pavilion Tea Dance Organ Concerts FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Charity Masked Ball NEW THRE ROYAL The Woman in Black Professor Fredericks Ghost Walks WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Southsea Beerex SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE As The Crow Flies Echo's End SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Brendan Cole – All Night Long HAYMARKET, B'ST Frigg (Finland) TALKING HEADS Grand Magus KINGS HEAD, W'HAM Groovebreakers

APRIL 2017 SATURDAY 1ST NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Twits Show! How? MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time TURNER SIMS Red Priest/Better Red Than Dead BERRY THEATRE Made in Dagenham THE POINT Alice 1865, SO0TON The Floyd Effect THE CONCORDE Jax Stax THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER The Acid House Movement: Acid House Party MR KYPS, POOLE Babes on Bikes: The Volatile Agents HANGER FARM ART CTRE Tea with Oscar Wilde ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Cemetery Walk HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Pavilion Tea Dance Organ Concerts The Illegal Eagles NEW THRE ROYAL The Woman in Black KINGS THEATRE, P'M Hamlet WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M Southsea Beerex SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE As The Crow Flies Echo's End SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair Frigg from Finland ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Count Arthur Stong HAYMARKET, B'ST Lets Twist Again

THE FORGE, B'STK Will Kaufman's Wood Guthrie SAINTS FC Saints v AFC B'Mouth PORTSMOUTH FC Hartlepool – A AFC B'MOUTH Southampton FC – A EASTLEIGH FC Dagenham & Redbridge – A AFC TOTTON Biedford AFC – H TALKING HEADS Broken Witt Rebels THE PLATFORM, SOTON Brent Hutchinson Band

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BIC, B'MTH Russell Howard PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club KINGS THEATRE, P'M Hamlet SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE As The Crow Flies Echo's End SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair WEDNESDAY 5TH

SUNDAY 2ND NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Twits Show! How? MAYFLOWER THEATRE Brenden Cole – All Night Long TURNER SIMS Sonorous Voices & Winds THE POINT Alice THE CONCORDE Solent City Jazzmen HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BIC, B'MTH Ne-Yo PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Pavilion Tea Dance Organ Concerts Amy Macdonald KINGS THEATRE, P'M Hamlet SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE As The Crow Flies Echo's End SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair HAYMARKET, B'ST Champions of Magic MONDAY 3RD NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Twits Show! How? Dr Frankenstein O2 GUILDHALL Bear's Den HANGER FARM ART CTRE Spirit of Cornwall Exhibition HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BIC, B'MTH Russell Howard PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club KINGS THEATRE, P'M Hamlet WEDGEWOOD RMS, P'M The Moonlandingz SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE As The Crow Flies Echo's End SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair TUESDAY 4TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Twits Show! How? Dr Frankenstein MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Wedding Singer BERRY THEATRE Great Expectations by Charles Dickens THE CONCORDE Tunde – Voice of Lighthouse Family

NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Twits Show! How? Dr Frankenstein MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Wedding Singer BERRY THEATRE Great Expectations by Charles Dickens THE CONCORDE At Last – The Etta James Story THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER Winchester Folk Club HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BIC, B'MTH Russell Howard PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Pavilion Tea Dance Organ Concerts Caro Emerald FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Calamity Jane SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE As The Crow Flies Echo's End SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Al Murray HAYMARKET, B'ST The Sound of Murder SAINTS FC Saints v Crystal Palace AFC B'MOUTH Liverpool – A TALKING HEADS Sari Schorr & The Engine Rooms THURSDAY 6TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Twits Show! How? Dr Frankenstein MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Wedding Singer TURNER SIMS Manu Delago BERRY THEATRE Great Expectations by Charles Dickens THE POINT NT Live Twelfth Night THE BROOK Frost THE CONCORDE Lance Ellington HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Calamity Jane GUILDHALL P'M Rick Astley SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE As The Crow Flies Echo's End

SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ PERDITA SINCLAIR HAYMARKET, B'ST The Sound of Murder THE PLATFORM, SOTON David Celia FRIDAY 7TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment The Twits Show! How? Dr Frankenstein MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Wedding Singer We're going on a Bear Hunt BERRY THEATRE Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

O2 GUILDHALL Roy Chubby Brown THE ENGINE RMS New Model Army

open mic’s & regular events etc ...

THE STATION, Eastleigh Wednesday Quiz METTRICKS Friday - Live Music every - check first Thursday - Metjam Thursdays Open Mic Night check first SIMON’S AT OXFORDS Fridays Live Music

This is just a guide (it says so on the cover) always check with the venue before getting your togs on and boarding the bus. Very few (so few it hurts) venues tell us when they change their events, that despite more internet access than mi5, from time to time we get something wrong ... sniff ...

Saturday Night DJ Sunday Jam Night THE ARTHOUSE MONTHLY Tuesday - Southampton Songwriters Wednesday - Poetry Stanza Thursday - Origami, Story Club Friday Epilepsy Coffee & Chat

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WEEKLY

theandguide@mail.com

Wednesday - French Language Cafe & British Sign Language club

Tuesday - Board Games Night

Thursday - Crafty Cafe

BROADLANDS, R,MSY Caravan & Motorhome show w/end STEIN GARTEN

PYRAMIDS, P'MOUTH

OPen Mic Night every 2nd Tuesday

Friday Nights on The Terrace - check first!

TALKING HEADS

THE FERRYMAN, WARSASH

AVEC SANS

Monday - The Candle Club Open Mic

1st Monday every month - Jam Night

HANGER FARM ART CTRE Andrew Lawrence - The Hate Speech Tour

Every other Monday - Southampton Ukulele Jam

THE SHOOTING STAR

THE CONCORDE Snake Davis Band – Classic Sax Solos THE RAILWAY, W'CHSTER

THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Jon Hart HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Capability Brown Tree Trail BIC, B'MTH Rick Astley PAVILION THEATRE BMTH Cerco Superslam Wrestling Laugh Out Loud – Comedy Club Pavilion Tea Dance Organ Concerts Omid Djalili: Schmuck for a Night FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Calamity Jane KINGS THEATRE, P'M Dreamboys GUILDHALL P'M Organ Recitals BSO

Every other Thursday - Paul Young & Friends, Jazz saxaphone Southampton Jazz Club - Sunday in front bar.

Sunday Afternoon - Traditional Irish Acoustic Session THE DOLPHIN @ ST DENYS Monday - Jazz Club - 8.30pm to 11pm Harry Young & The Guys Snug Poker Night - 9.30 pm to 12pm

Last Saturday of the month - Reloaded THE TESTWOOD Monday - Open Mic Tuesday - Charity Quiz Wednesday - Rock’n Roll Bingo Thursday - Grumpy Club Friday - Theme Music Night Last Saturday of month - Disco/Live Music

Tuesday - Open Mic Night from 7.30pm Wednesday - Quiz Night - 7.30pm to 10.30pm Brewers Quiz monthly Thursday Night to Saturday Night Live Music - 9pm to 11pm See website or Facebook for details Sundays 3pm - Live music on the Beer Garden stage METTRICKS GUILDHALL Thursdays Metjam Live. Music jam night with different leading local singers hosting at Mettricks Guildhall from 6-10pm estimated

Sunday - Poker League THE ALEXANDRA Sunday & Mondays - Free Pool, and Retro Gaming Thursdays - Open Mic WHITE HORSE, NETLEY MARSH Last Sunday of Month – Quiz Night Monday – All you can eat curry night

ORANGE ROOMS

DOLPHIN, Botley

Monday - Blues Open Mic night

Last Friday of Month – Live Music

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE As The Crow Flies Echo's End

Rogue Tuesdays

SOUTHAMPTON ARMS, WEST END

SALISBURY ARTS CENTR’ Perdita Sinclair Rosie Wilby: The Conscious Uncoupling O'Hooley & Tidow – Shadows The Fabulous Ceri Dupree Show

Mixtape Fridays

ANVIL ARTS, B’STOKE Music of Today Philharmonia Orchestra

Orange Wednesdays

1st Monday of month Open Mic -

Cocktail Culture - Thursday RAILWAY INN, W'CHESTER

Orange Saturday

Fridays - Heartbreak Hotel

Retox Sunday

2nd Tuesday of month - Retrograde

BREWERY BAR, BOTLEY

Mondays - Roots

Wednesdays - Quiz Night

Sundays - The Late Train Comedy Club

2nd Tuesday of month - Open Mic Night THE HOBBIT

DRUMMOND ARMS, Portswood Sunday Quiz

HAYMARKET, B'ST The Sound of Murder

Mondays - Games Night

TALKING HEADS Acid Reign

Wednesdays - Jam Night

Wednesday 8:30 Quiz

Thursdays - Tom Bombadil's Cabaret Open Mic

FOX & HOUNDS, Fair Oak

3rd Monday of the Month - 3 Guys One Egg

Thursday Quiz 8:00

THE PLATFORM, SOTON Platform Posse

Tuesdays - Weekly Card Club Night

BRIGADIER GERARD, Horton Heath

pick up a copy here CAN’T FIND A COPY? YOU’RENOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH! The AND Guide is available in over 600 places across the Southampton area as far as Fareham & Ringwood and even selected outlets in Portsmouth! theandguide@mail.com

Well done to The AND Guide on 3 great years promoting our city! We are proud to be part of it!

The er... travelling

by #nowicketsopeningbowler Yarn

MILBURYS CC A guest writer this month, as our usual contributor the ever reliable skip has been otherwise engaged. Some say he’s been busy making sure we actually have some cricket in August this coming season! So this month you have me, Yarn, the wicketless opening bowler.

So happy New Year from the famous Milburys CC. I doubt any of you know this but 2017 is to be known as ‘the year of the Robbo’. Self titled by our pint sized all-rounder, hopefully this brings about a change in fortunes for the team and many wickets for Robbo himself. Robbo has become one of the most important members of the team.

Not for any particular cricketing skills, just the fact he drives the tour bus!

Last season seems long gone and we can forget about all those failings. The slate is wiped clean and last years’ Dick of the Season will no doubt be surpassed by somebody doing something even more stupid. There is still that lingering feeling in the air though.

‘How the f@*k did James BA Brockway win the all-rounder of the year award!’

Unbelievably to anybody that has seen us play we have already started practising for the forthcoming season. I know of no other team as committed as the Milburys in making sure we are ready for the first game come May. So every Thursday evening since the start of the year we will been found at the Rose Bowl in West End. The Home of Hampshire Cricket and regular venue of England international fixtures. Many a great name has honed their skills in the Rose Bowl nets from all over the world. Unluckily none of this rubbed off on any of our players.

Tucked away in the furthest corner to avoid any embarrassment to any proper cricketers, we will be found doing minimal warm ups, before we start chucking balls at each other and trying to hit them as far as we can. Luckily for us our new all-rounder of the year BA has taken it upon himself to help us all along with some coaching, with great words of wisdom such as “bowl it at the stumps.” Generally we are training at the same time as the Hampshire under 1317s. I like to think we inspire the next generation of professional cricketers if only by making them think,“if I don’t try hard enough now I’ll end up being as crap as that lot of old blokes one day!”

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An hour or so later and after a lot of clock watching we are done. Luckily we normally muster double figures in bodies, so it’s not much of a work out. The bowlers can manage to bowl a ball every minute or so and generally for the batsman they end up batting for longer than they manage in any of the games throughout the season.

It’s enough of a workout though that we all feel the need for a bit of rehydration. Now comes the part we all excel at… the pub!!

We apart from Dunc, who can’t ‘sup um like he used to’, so has moved on to tomato juice! Being a pub team you’ve got to make sure you’re supported by a great pub.

Luckily we have two. During the winter and after nets we can be found at the Southampton Arms, West End. Mostly because it’s a lovely pub and anyway if we turned up at our namesake the Milburys on a cold dark winters night Martin the landlord would probably tell us to p*ss off!

We’ve got the balance of a pub team perfected in as much as we spend more time in the pub then we do practising. Anyway we don’t want to overdo it and peak before the season starts.

If you’ve made it this far you’re in for a treat. If you think you’ve got what it takes to be a member of our famous club, i.e. you like a drink and you don’t think of yourself as much of a cricketer then please come along. A list of our averages and results may be available on our website if you’d like to see what a really low standard is required to get in the team. Please don’t think you need to look the part either. So far we’ve had players turn up in smoking jackets and their wife’s’ tights. As I said we are at the Rose Bowl at least until the end of April. 7-8pm. I didn’t mention the times earlier as I know a few of the squad tell their wives it finishes a lot later so they’ve plenty of time down the pub.

Thanks for the interest

Up The Milburys!

THE PART OF THE DAY WE ALL STRIVE FOR. THE PUB...

THE SCORE BOOK... & THE DICK OF THE DAY

PALING BUSINESS PARK, FOORD RD, HEDGE END, SOUTHAMPTON SO30 0DB

www.sundayshillmotcentre.com Email: shmotcentre@aol.com

023 8040 6944

A VERY HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY TO THE AND GUIDE - FROM ALL YOUR FRIENDS AT THE SAINTS!

page 39

MIC’s broadcast The adventures of our cheeky smiling durley boy

Saints FC mid-seasonish report.

Mr Tein I said to the bloke in the shop “I don’t want this one, I want a LEAGUE CUP”.

Michael Kurn

OF CUPS and sorcerers Well after the run of poor results, the exit from Europe I think its fair to say we didn't see it coming. Words I wasn't expecting to write but I do find myself writing them, and - I write them with a smile on my face. Southampton Football Club … League Cup finalists!.

We return to Wembley at the end of February and take on an old foe who we have faced there before. In 1976 it was Tommy Doherty’s Red Devils in the way of our local legend Laurie McMenemy and his team. This time around we face the same opponent but its Jose, Zlatan Pogba and Co versus Clude Puel and our current crop of Saints.

Times have changed vastly since that warm May day in 1976 and indeed since 1979, the last time we made the league cup final. How will it all pan out? Will we face the heartache of defeat again like 2003, in the FA Cup final at Cardiff? Or can we come back victorious? Will we see the scenes of 76 recreated as our modern heroes bring silverware back to the South Coast? Time will tell but at moments like this I take a look back on our journey, not only how far we have come since those glory days but also in recent times?

After all the highs of the last few years, promotions, JPT glory, hosting Inter Milan at St Mary’s. As a football fan its easy to get down hearted when things don't seem to be going right. This season till this point maybe seems one of under achievement? A step back after the work of Ronald & Mauricio? Mid table, out of Europe which we worked so hard to get to, A different style of play with the manager ringing the changes every game. And of course no more Jose the last man out the door from our League One days.

Southampton FC has seen a lot of change and its easy to be disappointed, but look where we are? In the Premier League and Off to Wembley.

ROLL ON THE END OF FEBRUARY AND COME ON YOU REDS! 2017 has been an exciting one for me personally too as my journey continues in to another new year. New management, a new impetus and my own trip to Wembley.

The year always starts with a busy indoor hockey season with the culmination of the Super 6’s at the SSE Arena Wembley. Another amazing day which created more memories along my journey, ones never taken for granted I also had the privilege recently of attending the opening of the of the new Southampton Solent university Sparks building, what a facility this city now has. A wonderful evening with Theo Papthitis who gave a very inspirational talk. Southampton is a place I’m very proud and it was great to see such a great turn out.

Well that’s enough for me, lets hope the year continues in the same positive vane for all of us, and next time I write I can say … Southampton FC League Cup winners?

info@kurnandkurn.com Twitter @michaelkurn

The Saints have seen season upon season of improvement and I guess we have taken it for granted that things can only get better. But this seems to be the season when many people are divided about our progress. It is certainly proving to be the classic ‘is your glass half full or glass half empty?’ kind of season. On the one hand we are struggling to score goals, dropping points against teams we would normally assume to beat and eventually limped out of the Europa Cup. On the other hand we have just dumped Southampton Reserves out of the EFL to book a trip to WEMBLEY! And we mustn’t forget that we beat the mighty Internazionale at St Marys. So is the Saints pint glass half full or is the pint glass half empty?

My verdict?

THE MANAGER It has to be said that in terms of Charisma, Claude Puel is a real advert for bringing back a Pochettino style translator. A front man who could get over the subtle nuances of our tactics with a bit of fizz cough… . But of course, great as it is to have Klopp style manager for the cameras, it is on the pitch the coach has to perform his magic. There is no doubt over the two legs of the EFL Semi-final Puel was by far the better coach and boy was he excited when Shane Long scored the killer goal in injury time. We certainbly saw a bit of fizz then… !

And let’s not forget this is our hardest ever season of the Liebherr era. We not only had to try and top 6th place and automatic European qualification, we had the added burden of the extra games from mid-week Europo League ties and a great League Cup run. That said its 34 matches played as I write and over 200 changes made to the team. In fact not once has Puel played the same team in two games running. Its not great for the players and not always great for the fans. Tactics are also under scrutiny. At the start of the season the diamond formation was disliked by many fans but now having dropped it for a more deep lying play on the break style, those some fans miss the excitement it brought. In his first half season Claude has taken all these issues on head first, brought through youngsters and most of all, achieved that rare feat of taking us to Wembley.

Verdict: Glass defiantly Half full.

the next game. Maybe Matt Le Tissier could get his boots out?

Verdict : Dying of thirst waiting for a glass *That’s Andy Caroll if you’re wondering?

THE (FICKLE) FANS Oh dear. Stay away from social media at all costs. “Sack Puel ”. “We’re a shambles”. “The worst The Saints have ever been”. “Disaster”. “My club is being destroyed”, “Sack Les Reed” … and so it goes on. But often not so politely. I think we all know we are having a little wobble, but the club is still being run by the people who got us to this position and its when things are going maybe not so well that we all should pull together. Of course, we could throw money around and sack everybody - it didn’t do Leeds or Pompey any harm did it?

Verdict: “Too many glasses of beer so half-cut”

VAN DYKE This club has an eye for a centre back although also a tendency to lose them fairly easily. Virgil is without doubt the Jack Sparrow of centre halves - centre stage, swashbuckling and the star of the show. His all round play is impressive. In fact, with our goal drought up front I would have toyed with playing him centre forward or as an attacking number 10. I’ll be sad when he goes.

Verdict: Glass over flowing but keep your eye on your pint or it might go missing

JOSE FONTE And so our tendancy to carelessly lose centre backs continues. Whatever behind the scenes shenanigans went on, we would not be where we are now without Jose Fonte and from the 5th Febrary ( after the West Ham game of course) his legendary status is guaranteed. Hope the club give him a ticket for the EFL Final though.

Verdict: Glass is in the trophy cabinet of Saints all time greats. [Ditto that Mt T. Ed]

Has his black box finally lost its magic? The departure of Pelle, Wanyama and Mane weakened a squad about to embark on a European tour. The arrival of Holberg, Redmond and Boufal, although filling the gaps, merely brought us potential in place of the finished article. That said, with Saints facing 3 games a week as the norm it’s been hard for them and the emerging academy players to really stake a claim in the team. Albeit the new manager is certainly giving them more game time than Koeman. For 7 years Mr Reed has done us proud so let’s keep the faith.

Verdict: We should all raise a glass to his achievements.

ROTATION So many games, so many players, so many changes. Leicester last year and Chelsea this year show the power of the settled side. A win at Wembley and a few less games would help us prepare for next season and maybe even sneak that Europa spot?

Verdict: This beers a bit flat - could I change it please. [Saw what you did there. Ed]

BUYING AND SELLING Of course selling our best players has been going on as long as I can remember, starting with Martin Chivers sale to Tottenham Hotspur. I long for us to be a destination club. The reality is we are still seen as a finishing school for promising players. No doubt Clyne, Mane and others could have gone straight to a bigger club and taken their chances but by coming here first they get to be better players and we get a big financial windfall when they move on. Remember the alternative to buying and selling the likes of Mane may not be getting to keep them, but them never coming at all!

Verdict: Pint of Saints beer Mr Liverpool? That will be £32 million please.

REFEREES Where to start? Well just one request, please.

We know these guys are human and make mistakes, but after the match and the anger has all died down could they be allowed to explain their decisions and let us into the secret as to why an obvious penalty or red card wasn’t given or vice versa when it wasn’t and you did give a penalty or a red card. Did that make sense? No? Bit like their decisions then. Go on… let us into the secret?

Verdict: Refs still need glasses and probably some video guidance from the stands

PLAYER OF THE HALF SEASON Without doubt our most improved player and my best player of the season so far, bosses midfield, tackles, intercepts, passes and runs like a hyper charged Mafioso Super Mario. Yes its Oriol Romeu - this player is massive and thankfully under the media radar so we don’t have to endure Alan Brazil bigging him up for a move to a “bigger” club.

Verdict: Get in his way and you’ll find your glass smashed into 1000’s of tiny pieces on the floor!

THE STRIKERS Here is a thought. West ham have signed 32 strikers since 2010 and between them in 642 games have only scored 125 goals. In fact it was the 25thof November this season before one of their strikers managed to score a goal.

(The fat Ricky Lambert if you are wondering*).

Now, it wasn’t Puel who sold Mane and Pelle but it has been his job to get our remaining strikers firing in their place and paradoxically, while we have the second highest shots total in the Premier League we also have the second lowest goal scoring total. With Charlie Austin injured, nobody has stepped up to take his place as a regular goal scorer, but then, if a striker does score he’s usually “rested” for

LES REED

“PINT OF SAINTS BEER MR LIVERPOOL?” “THAT WILL BE £32 MILLION PLEASE.”

MY HALF SEASON VERDICT We are top ten(ish er… ish), we had a Europa League campaign tour (not ducking out before it started like Koeman), a big Wembley final, at last some youngsters surging into the team (that Simms run at Anfield!), we had Puel’s tactical demolition of Liverpool this season and still an outside chance of avoiding a relegation battle… I mean Europe.

Verdict: A pint for me please.