The AND Guide December & January 2020 #36

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SOUTHAMPTON’S original KICK-bottom guide, massive Listings, Reviews & Comment PAPER! MUSIC, SHOWS, BOOKS, FAMILY, SPORT ... & FUN & GAMES! BI-monthly. issue 36 DECEMBER 2019 & JANUARY 2020

DAILY LISTINGS DECEMBER & JANUARY

Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year to all our readers!

“ If I'm a good boy, do you think I could at least have one? ” “ To be honest Ralph, I think you’d have a better chance if you asked me to sort Brexit! ” COVER: Cartoon by our resident doodler Sam, of sam studios | www.samstudios.co.uk

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The end of a year best forgotten maybe, or better still ... remembered for being a year best forgotten? an absolute hardship for our country. With the most vulnerable taking the brunt of it.

But all I hear from Labour is ‘blame the Conservatives’. They just ignore the fact Which brings me to the Liberal unthat it was their last government left this Democrats. I find it the height of hypoccountry almost bankrupt! Yes there was I am of course talking about the risy, that a party actually called Democrats mitigation, it was a world crisis. But it conduct of our Parliament. But I is asking the country to vote for them on happened. We had no rainy day gold redon’t want to talk about any of the mandate that they will ignore the big- serve left because Labour had already the ... and I use the term gest democratic vote in our history - besold that cheap ... for a quick fix. Which guardedly ... ‘personalities’. I just cause they disagree with the result. didn’t work. The country was on it’s want to ask if I’m the only one The most surprising and disappointing knees. So whatever government followed, that feels as if they’re living in a thing about that is so many people, well it had no choice but to take drastic and the losers, agree with them! Eh? Democ- unpopular measures to sort it. It was of parallel universe, where recent racy is the cornerstone of our society. It’s course a coalition between the Conserhistory has been forgotten, revatives and Liberal Democrats. So I think kept us safe, organised and generally written or simply ignored? prosperous for hundreds of years. It can’t it’s a bit rich for Labour to bang on about heartless Conservative cuts when it’s a LaI’m 62. I’ve lived a lot. I’ve experienced al- just be put aside when a result isn’t to most all of our governments since the war. your liking. What if we disagree with the bour mess they’ve had to clear up. AND Yet chatting to so many mainly people on result of this election? Or the next ‘other’ now... having endured 10 painfully long Farcebook, not all younger, you’d think I people’s vote? Do we throw our toys out years getting back on our feet by austeric measures, for Labour to promise to spend, been delivered by Amazon yesterday. of the pram again? Perhaps the army spend, spend, again and risk the precious So excuse me, but I’d like to share a might not agree with it? Perhaps the financial stability we’ve regained, seems few morsels I’ve picked up over the years, North, or the South? Or a religious the ultimate smack in the face for everythat mystifyingly don’t seem to be getting group? Where might it end? one that’s’ endured the hardship! a mention elsewhere? I am not a ConserNo, I’m sorry. We debate. We vote. We AND I remember the 70’s. I remember vative. I’m not anything. I have voted for 5 accept the result. We get on with it. End the nationalised industries holding the parties in my lifetime. But there is only of. So that’s the Liberal unDemocrats out. country to ransom. Trains not running on one I can vote for at this election.

Austerity? It’s mentioned more than time, or at all, docks and manufacturing forLet me explain why. I’m not telling you who to vote for. That’s your choice. That’s the word ‘please’ these days. It’s been ever on strike, with unions sending gangs of thugs across the land to intimidate workers. (Oh & T Rex and the 76 FA Cup!).

AND before anyone wants to argue with me about the facts, I was there; on the DID YOU FIND THEM HIDING AMONGST front line as a policeman in the late 70’s ‘THE AND GUIDE’ STOCKISTS? and early 80’s, and I had an uncle in the REALLY? IT’S MEANT TO BE FOR KIDS! Docks. I actually closed Portsmouth Docks BETTER LUCK THIS ISSUE THEN ... once for simply helping my mate take a box off a container so we could go to a CAN YOU FIND ANNIE? lunch we were due at. “All out brothers!”

SHE’S IN EVERY ISSUE OF COURSE! kind of the idea of a democracy. We are all free to vote for whoever we want, because we agree to concede to the winner.

MEET THE PEAS

I liked him. Sharp, principled, polite, friendly and approachable with answers I agreed with. Young, but aren’t they all?

His name is Paul Holmes and he is the Conservative candidate for Eastleigh.

Whatever you decide? Just please let it be your choice. Not because your Grandad did it or you’ve always done it.

The most important thing to me is that we all actually vote. I’ve spoken to so many disillusioned voters that say they’re just not going to bother any more, because politicians don’t listen. I sympathise entirely with that. But be careful ... all that an unpopular minority supported government needs to gain power, is for the majority not to vote. How would you feel if your party lost by 1?

But whatever way the Election goes I’ll be cool with it and will abide by the majority. That’s the reason I vote.

came the cry and they did. Even though at the time they were all sitting around having a break and refused to help!

The trouble with nationalised industries is that socialism logically dictates, ‘why have two companies doing the same thing when one can do something else? ’It’s a great idea. Sadly it doesn’t work. The result is an increasing drop in standards and a country eventually held to ransom. Hence following governments breaking them up and a Competition Commission to regulate mergers and monopoly power. Our overly nationalised industries were simply a disaster and to bring them back, to me, Anyway ... all that aside, there’s absowould be insane. So that’s Labour out. lutely tons of great stuff inside the paper to take your mind off it all!

Green? I like Green. Voted for them once.

But it’s no good having good ideas unless So, have a wonderful Christmas and New you can get elected. AND they’re not all Year. AND thank you so much for supporgood ideas. But we do need a strong Green ting my paper. It means a lot. See you party because it keeps the others honest. safe and well in February!

Which leaves the Conservatives. True I haven’t mentioned UKIP or the Brexit Party. I think of them like the Greens. You need them in everyone’s faces to keep the others on track. But they are a sideshow.

Which means, by my simple process of elimination, the only party I can vote for at this time are the Conservatives.

They are trying to deliver the will of the majority. They are safer with money. A strong economy in my opinion is the only way forward, and I think they can do that.

Their manifesto in the main looks far more plausible than Labour’s letter to Santa and less likely to return us to boom and bust and the thug law of the unions.

But before absolutely made up my mind I wanted to meet my candidate, and ask him some questions. So I did. (See pic)

Thanks again for supporting the paper. It’s put together with love and affection by: Paul Ridge, Louise Beach Steel, Barry Upton, Matt Black, Russell Cook, Martin Boorman, Stuart Davis, Tony Wright, Cliff Bryant, Tony Long, Keith Curtis, BA, Rob Worley, Sam Allen, my much missed spiritual advisors Ken Bundy, Annie Philpott and Steve Ellis and my long suffering wife Tracey. Contributions from James Foad, Jasmine Hodge, Katie Belo dos Santos, Nigel Philpott, Jezz Phipp. Richard Harper, SLAM, Friends of The Earth, WWF and Greenpeace & all kept running smoothly by Mac guru Mark Burr.

theandguide@mail.com www.facebook.com /theandguide

Katie Belo Dos Santos. With thanks to sommeliar Laurent Bergmann, of Ellis Wines

Decanter The AND Guide’s NEW guide to the ‘boudoir of the grape’.

In association with Porters, WINE & CHARCUTERIE 20-22 Queens Terrace, Havelock Chambers, Southampton S014 3BQ. 023 8039 5945. info@porterswinebar.co.uk

Pairing Wine with Cheese Recently the reference for a funky hostelry serving wine and cheese boards, Charcuteri was originally intended as a way to preserve meat before the advent of refrigeration. Salami, chorizo, other cured sausages and smoked ham are examples, but by no means the end of a huge list of delicious cured meats, prepared today for their distinct tastes.

AND when served with fresh bread, olives and chutney, charcuturie becomes a mouthwatering plate of flavours … made even more special with the right glass of wine, which is where the AND Guide’s first wine column will begin. But first, some history … (Because you can’t know where you’re going, unless you know where you’ve been! Ed) and a word about our sponsors.

Located in the heart of the ‘Wine Porters’ world, back in medieval Southampton, opposite Queens Park and Dockgate 4, is one Southampton’s newest eateries … Porters.

Specialising in wine, cheese and charcuterie, Porters has a healthy 57 wines on offer with prices from £19.50 to £110, pretty much guaranteeing there is a wine to suit every palette.

So … like the idea of Wine and Cheese, but unsure what goes with what? For the non-sommmeliars amongst us, start with one simple rule: Do you want the starring role to be the wine or the cheese? If it’s the wine, pick a wine of real character with milder cheese to compliment. If you want the cheese to star, then pick a strong flavour and a wine of less character.

If that sounds a bit nerdy and you just want to enjoy a variety of cheeses with a single bottle of wine, then choose a fortified wine such as Sherry, Rivesaltes, Madeira or Port.

Still too complicated? Then ask your waiter.

At any Charcuterie worth it’s salt, they’ll be able to advise you. As for the meat? Personally, unless you have a favourite I’d let the waiter choosethat also, guided by your choice of wine or cheese. Or simply stick with the charcuteri boards on the menu. They’re likely to have been thought through meticulously to deliver the taste experience you are after.

Anyway … using Porters as our representative … some examples: If gruyère, comté or an extra mature cheddar cheese floats your boat, then the nutty and oaky Chardonnay Bon Vallon is a good bet.

A creamy camembert can also be savoured with this wine, as the malolactic fermentation ensures a milky and smooth finish.

Craving goat’s cheese, then you might wish to consider am aromatic and vibrant Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand or Sancerre from France or even a flowery and exuberant Torrontes from Argentina. Yes, white wine and semi fresh goat’s cheese marry well together!

For spicy food, such as spicy chorizo, chilly cheese or spicy chutney, then an Alsatian Gewürztraminer or a light Argentinean Torrontes will do it justice.

Fancy a stronger kick? Try the Malbec or an aged premium Shiraz from Australia, an Italian Barolo or a Chateauneuf Du Pape from France.

And… for the more adventurous, we recommend you try the different homemade chutneys on offer, from fruity to smooth or spicy.

For those who prefer the charcuterie to lead, there is an array of red wine, from a light Fluerie, to a smooth Montepulciano D'Abruzzo Riserva or a rich and dense Malbec or a Shiraz. For a special treat and pure indulgence, the outstanding Ribera del Duero Pesquera Reserva or the Sonoma Zinfandel will not disappoint you.

AND finally for the inquisitive, Porters offers Grahams Blend No 5 White Port (ever had white Port before?), Tio Pepe Sherry, and dessert wines to accompany your pudding ... should you get that far!

Helpfully, unlike other venues, where you choose your wine by price, at Porters it’s listed by style. They believe, describing the body of the wine, its flavour and characteristics, will help you choose the best wine to savour on its own, and help pair it with your food choice.

Whether you like history and wine or not, this venue has the perfect space for you, your private party or corporate do.

Open every day from 12pm to 12am.

With thanks to sommeliar Laurent Bergmann, from Ellis Wines.

Note: Interestingly Porters is named after Southampton's wine district and adjacent to Queen’s Terrace (formerly called ‘Porter’s Meadow’), Porters Lane, French Street and Bugle Street, where one can find endless underground wine vaults, where wine merchants stored their wine from what we now call France and Italy, but also from Portugal and Spain.

If you wish to visit the wine underground medieval vaults, please contact Katie on 0774 8093 770 or email katie@seesouthampton.co.uk

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Meet the Southampton Ambassadors OUR PATRONS

Martin Perry OUR MEMBERS

Launched in 2012, Southampton Ambassadors is my project to encourage the city’s elite, big and small, to join together for mutual benefit and the good of the Southampton area.

AND its working!

start. I reckon it could actually be classed as a form of bullying. Or have I finally lost the plot and joined the land of the snowflakes in time for Christmas? Either way I reckon I’m These days, with so many businesses and going to ask the houses of no-Parliament, to causes competing for our shillings, and all have a look into it.That’s if they ever get with seemingly impeccable social media CV’s their act together and start doing the job we with a zillion LIKES (AND ye gods isn’t a elect and pay them handsomely for. On secpain when after every enquiry for anything ond thoughts, perhaps I won’t. on the web, you get hit by the follow up surBack to my original point and the purpose of vey! Even more erksome when you know that the poor devil that took your enquiry, is this page ... simple. It’s to tell you about likely to have his or her income affected by a people, businesses and organisations we recpoor or even no rating! I’ve been in market- ommend. That I recommend. So if you’re in ing for many years, and understand the need doubt and need someone, or want to support a worthy local cause. Why not start here? for feedback and endorsements, but this automatic practice has to stop doesn’t it?

It’s intrusive and irritating and rarely takes andguide@mail.com the 2 minutes it seduces you with at the BELOW YOU’LL FIND ANOTHER IN A SERIES HIGHLIGHTING ‘UNDER THE RADAR’ LOCAL BUSINESSES WE RECOMMEND AND GOOD CAUSES WE SUPPORT.

ANDY LAI

David Hughes

Some of the causes, talents, projects and charities we support.

southampton ambassador adventures

by Southampton’s Olympic Bronze Medalist rower, James Foad

St Mary’s Firemen ADAM & STu’s Atlantic Challenge is Making Waves!

Fast forward a year from now and two of Southampton’s unsung heroes will be weeks away from pushing off of dry land for (hopefully) a little over a month.

Adam Bundle & Stu Vince both serving Fire Fighters & Watch Managers at St Mary’s Fire Station Southampton, are aiming to row 3,000 miles across the Atlantic Ocean from the Canary Islands too Antigua. Their vision & motivation, to raise awareness of mental health issues in the workplace, reduce the stigma surrounding mental ill health, educate people to become Mental Health First Aiders and support two amazing charities: Solent Mind & The Fire Fighter’s Charity, of which they hope to raise £100,000 to donate to these charities.

As fire fighter’s both Adam & Stu are faced daily with making high pressure, life and death decisions, whilst attending a wide variety of life threatening incidents in which they risk their own lives. Both Adam & Stu have both had to overcome some form of mental illness during their service and have seen a dramatic increase on the

affects these high pressure situations are having on many people, because of this they are both determined to do all they can to raise awareness & support Solent Mind & The Fire Fighter’s Charity, so they can help others and give them the tools to manage mental illnesses or help prevent them.

So why row the Atlantic Ocean? It’s fair to say that this isn’t a challenge for the faint hearted, the duo aim to row this vast stretch of water in 37 days, which would see them beat the current record previously set in 2017. For me, this sums up Adam & Stu perfectly, not only have they chosen one of the most gruelling & physical challenges, that will see them away from home over Christmas, away from their family & friends, they have already set themselves an extra challenge of beating the record.

Despite overcoming their own demons & battles with mental illness, to me it shows that these tough times have actually made them stronger, more resilient people.

Having known both Adam & Stu for some time now the message I take from their challenge is this; there is statistically a very high chance that many of us may struggle with some form of mental illness in our lives, never underestimate the power of the mind & never say “it won’t happen to me”. With the correct support team in place, be it family, friends, charities, mental health support teams, there are ways of managing mental illness and once these have been learnt, using these tools and liv-

ing with mental illness can help make you a stronger person.

AND Southampton Ambassadors will be right there supporting them throughout their adventure. Indeed a recent Dinner Ball at Eastleigh Football Club organised by Michael Kurn and supported by Colin Phillips, raised a whopping £5,000. While fellow Ambassadors Steve Taylor of A&A Business Supplies and ex Saint David Hughes have also joined as sponsors.

LATEST NEWS: toob Southampton’s hyperspeed broadband provider have come onboard as the boys main sponsor. Says CEO Nick Parbutt (Pictured left with Stu and Adam) “I am delighted to support Adam and Stu on their epic challenge to row the Atlantic. I can’t begin to imagine what they are going to have to endure to complete their journey, but I am sure the knowledge that they are raising money for two such worthy causes will spur them on.”

If you would like to donate to this amazing adventure please visit

uk.virginmoneygiving.com /Team/MindsMatter or follow their progress on

Instagram: @fire.arc202

TOP: With Adam & ex Mayor of Southampton Linda Norris at an AND Guide networking event at Mangos.

CENTRE from left: Stu and Adam with toob CEO Nick Parbutt.

BELOW: The new design for their old boat. Basically the same old tub covered in vinyl. Be nice to get them a new one though ... it is the Atlantic after all!

Oh and top of the text, them putting in a bit of training. Well they need to! Lots!

As it’s the Christmas issue and Christmas is still magical for kids, we thought we’d include something just to add to the occasion. It’s the first of a enchanting series of stories for children, written way back in 1968 by a mum who had a 10 year old son seriously ill in hospital. A charmingly simple writer, with a background of dancing and touring in repertoire theater Valery Perry went on to pen stories for Hospital Broadcasting and Ribena. Remember the Berry stories? This is the first story in a book of forgotten stories about a little boy and a magic fish delightfully illustrated

by Southampton’s legendary street artist SLAM Daniels.

The book will be published by AND Publishing early next year, with a donation from each sale to to Countess Mounbatten Hospice. If you would like to reserve a book at it’s Early Bird price email:

JOHN MEETS QUIPPLE John was a little boy, of five years old. He lived with his Mummy and Daddy in a big town.

He loved them very much, but oh! how he liked to visit his Grandmother who lived in a cottage in the country.

By the cottage was a river and John would sit for hours with a piece of string on a long stick. He tried so hard to catch a fish.

Now one day he was doing just that, when up popped a great big fish ... PLOP ... went the water. John jumped up wondering what it was. It couldn’t be a fish, he thought, because he had never caught one.

A little voice said “Good morning John.”

John looked into the water and saw a most beautiful big silver fish.

“Good morning” said the fish. “My name is Quipple.”

“What do you want?” said John. “I want you to come with me and meet my friends” said Quipple. “But I’m not a fish” said John, “and I can’t swim very well yet.”

“Oh, yes, you can. Just come with me.” To John’s surprise he found he could swim very well indeed. Of course, Quipple was a magic fish.

theandguide@mail.com Quipple took John’s hand in his silver fin and off they swam. They came to the home of Mrs. Crab, who was washing baby Crab’s shell with weed. The baby had been lying in the mud and throwing it all over himself. His Mummy was very, very cross with him.

Then Quipple and John called on Mr. Roach. He was very old and didn’t swim very far these days. He liked to potter around in his garden. “Come in, Quipple,” said Mr. Roach, “and bring your young friend with you. I want to show you some plants Salmon brought me when he passed the other day.” When they had seen all of Mr. Roach’s plants, they swam on to have coffee with Miss Bream.

Now Miss Bream put her best shells on the table because she loved having visitors. She made Quipple and John very welcome. John ate so much he thought he would burst. He wanted to stay because he had enjoyed himself so much but Quipple said, “Its is time to go back to the river bank.” John said goodbye and promised to come again if Quipple would bring him.

At the river bank Quipple said goodbye to John. He said that he had really enjoyed the morning with his new friend and would come for him again the next time John was there.

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page 7

Katie Belo Dos Santos visitsouthampton.co.uk/business-directory/see-southampton See Southampton is a not for profit organisation operated by a group of independent tour guides and volunteers who run historic and fun walking tours in the city, provide speakers on local history topics and manage a welcome desk for cruise ship passengers.

See Southampton works very closely with other heritage providers in the City and can offer discounted entry to museums and heritage attractions for people joining our walks.

Public tours, around the old town, onto the medieval walls walls and into the wine vaults, are run every Saturday and Sun-

PRIDE & PrejuGIFT

day at 1.30PM throughout the year, and in addition, every Saturday and Sunday at 10.30 AM, and every Thursday at 1.30 PM, from April to September.

Tailor-made walks for groups can be quickly arranged. These include Southampton and the Titanic, Southampton at War, Maritime Southampton, Southampton and Jane Austen, the Story of the Spitfire, wine vaults & wine-tasting, plus many, many more.

Unless otherwise stated all the walks start by the Lions at the Bargate in Southampton's High Street.

celebrating Jane Austen in Southampton

HEADS UP! St Valentine’s Cocktail Masterclass on 15th February at NST City. More details on See Southampton website soon.

Southampton welcomes students from the University of Vic, Barcelona On 11 November 2019, Solent University welcomed a group from the University of Vic in Catalonia, Spain. This marked the first day of their International Week!

A group of 12 students, studying journalism, marketing and business, visited Southampton for one week. On day 1 they were welcomed by Solent University, Solent Works, See Southampton Tour Guides and Councillor Satvir Kaur!

Katie Santos, from SeeSouthampton, organised a grand tour of Southampton, where the students had the opportunity to walk through the renowned city parks, admire two Norman buildings, go over the medieval walls and inside the wine vaults. As the sun came down, and the autumnal wind picked up, the group was welcomed into the Dolphin Hotel, where an afternoon tea was served. AND there was more…

As the students tucked in their scones, clotted cream and strawberry

jam, Councillor Satvir Kaur (Cabinet Member for Homes and Culture) joined in for an informal discussion. The students from Barcelona were thrilled to meet a Cabinet Member, and to ask questions about local tourism, marketing, its maritime heritage and the industry of the cruise liners. This really helped them with their assignment!

And Cllr Kaur (below in the dark jumper next to me in the red jumper) took the opportunity to ask the opinion of these young foreign students on specific matters, such as: street signage, maps, Apps, lack of translated information and lack of tourism office.

Needless to say there was plenty to compare between these two busy port cities!

Both cities have had to consider the impact that hundreds of cruise liners have on the city every year. Who are these passengers (their nationality, age

group and interests)? Do they stay for a couple of hours or a day? What do they spend their money on?

In general, who are the visitors in these cities (who arrive by land, sea and air)? Does the city of Barcelona rely on visitors who stay for a short city break or a week, whilst Southampton has been historically seen as a “gateway” for many who are passing by?

In all, these enthusiastic students had a fun day packed with British culture, history, heritage, gastronomy and local affairs. Hurrah for these international weeks and exchange programmes at Solent University, as investing in education, languages, and overseas links can only benefit this international city.

The NST CITY Sun, 2 Feb 12 - 4pm FREE ENTRY “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no no

tion of loving people by halves, it is not my

nature.” Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey.

TALK ON JANE AUSTEN by local experts and historians CRAFT AND PRODUCE FAYRE with local acclaimed authors, artists and craftsmen NST TYRELL’S BAR TAKE A BUSINESS HEADSHOT or fun photo with props with Robin Creative Media VARIOUS ACTIVITIES FOR CHILDREN including a Poet’s Corner: drop your poem about friendship by 12:30pm at the NST reception, stating your name and age; the best one will be read out and even published!

DISCOUNT ON TICKETS FOR ‘Pride and Prejudice (sort of)’ from 17 March to 4 April 2020 (at the NST Box Office on 2 February from 12 to 4pm only) Donations to support NST’s work with Southampton’s youth and communities are welcome on the day.

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

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Poetry Strip ANXIOUS I walk and day dream, along a chalk stream A place so calm and tranquil, No talk, serene, reflected sunbeam; A place that leaves me thankful Crystal clear, downstream it sweeps; Babbling, riffling, dancing Lend your ear and it will speak, Entrancing whilst advancing See through like gin and cold to dip, A looking glass down to its bed So trees grow down, to take a sip And a thousand words are said The currents make, the weed fronds snake Seductive and beguiling, Seen through opaque, like a dancers shake, The reason why I’m smiling Dappled light, on a changing sight The flow means, no scene the same Birdsong delight, makes things seem right; A picture to grace any frame Light and dark green and all in between Woven around this meander Sights that I’ve scene, reflect on this sheen, Make me a privileged bystander Life lived in slow paces, underwater oasis This bank the best seat to observe, One of nature’s best places, where wildlife embraces Must do all we can to conserve

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duabus rotis Tony Long

Let’s Talk About Sex

In advertising it’s a given, sex sells.

People either look to (ahem) appreciate or disapprove – but they do look and often talk about what they saw with friends and colleagues. “I saw an advert that really shocked me…..” And, Blam, others are looking for the ad and so become exposed (ha ha, a double entendre) to whatever was being sold. Do they purchase

about to press the button the waxwork figure scratched her nose. I flinched, uttered an oath and blew the shot, so much for respectability.

Early motorcycle adverts displayed the female as having a wonderful time while sat behind some bloke. Here’s a flash, then as now, many women enjoy riding their own bikes just as much as much as the male of the species – more so, even, judging by some of the women I’ve known. In the 1930s decency meant not a lot of naked flesh in adverts, so the female (either a real person or illustration) tended to be clad in something like a polo-neck jumper and sturdy trousers. Sex appeal? Have the jumper amply filled.

The 60s and 70s brought more advertising with a lot less coverage. How does a topless female suggest a certain insurance group is better than the competition? Small and relatively uninteresting bikes were shown with long legged belles looking coquettish in next to nothing, it was cynical exploitation but it worked. Although the days were numbered, only a mere couple of decades later we have …………… well, not as much titillation anyway.

the product? Not always, but the placement has reached the target.

At press days and bike shows I’ve actually had to ask topless models to zip up or cover up because the pic was going in a family publication – how I’ve suffered for respectability. My mate Al will confirm that I was once setting up a pic of a chopped Harley at a show that had an orange coloured, leopard print bikini clad, mannequin spread across the tank and saddle. Lighting and colour balance was terrible, so it took a while and as I was

Problem with advertising is some folk copy something they’ve seen. I was in Bournemouth during the frantic Seventies, as I parked my bike (a Triumph 750 Bonneville) I knew I was riding the most sexy bike on that long street – the advert had told me so. I passed a lad sat on his L-plated 50cc moped on the pavement looking cool and relaxed in a posed manner, when I came back to my Bonnie a school had just kicked out and a flock of girls went over to the young rider. He sat a bit straighter and smiled

Too young to know Salt-N-Pepa’s 1990 hit?

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as they approached and fell backwards of his ride, the bike fell on top of him and his top box burst open to spread college work into passing traffic.

We now have a new, overdue, attitude to how females are treated in the media and entertainment businesses. Yet a tabloid report on women being pressed to do nude scenes was accompanied by a topless shot of Emilia Clarke (Game of Thrones) who has said how she didn’t want to do nude scenes!

I’ll admit to taking more pics with a model than without because I was asked to ‘add something’ to ‘balance’ the bike.

Even some shots of the extra models brought in to wear skintight garb and attract the attention of the press – mostly male press at that, like me with a long lens in hand. Still, was a bikini and spike heels helpful when taking details for insurance quotes?

The future has to change, it’s the nature of progress, so bikes aimed at women might include some hunk just as men’s cologne ads do. Motorcycle sales need to improve and females are being regarded more as riders, potential customers and knowledgeable instead of bait.

by Hugh Davey LOVE Love gives everything and asks for nothing.

Love is all consuming, love does not count.

Love gives everything and asks for nothing.

It is when you are nothing you experience love.

Love is a state of nothing, as nothing matters but your love. Your very being becomes all consuming as love gives everything and asks for nothing.

Can you give yourself to love and ask for nothing?

It is when you have nothing that counts as when you have nothing your true self appears.

I am nothing in your eyes beloved, I give myself to you. There is no me but just you.

Love gives everything and asks for nothing.

When love becomes all consuming there is nothing but love and everything becomes nothing.

We come from nothing and we will end up with nothing, but today we think we are something.

Something we are for sure but truly if you stand back and witness what you are, you are nothing.

Love gives everything and asks for nothing.

I give you my love and ask for nothing.

Love is love and only when you have loved

by Guru GOT A POEM? SEND IT IN! THEANDGUIDE@MAIL.COM

In the seventies Norton, Laverda, Suzuki and all the bike manufacturers gave us classy adverts with alluring models who probably had no interest in the bikes. But, some did and we saw them around the meeting places.

Bike magazines at the time insisted on showing how the good looking females wanted big bikes.

Not that encouraging for young L plate riders back then.

I will now make a confession, I would have bought a Norton Commando Interstate just because I lost my young heart to the girl in the ad. “Hello, my name is Tony, I'm an advertiser's target reader.” Sigh.

Southampton’s Christmas music brings Joy to the World!

Nigel Philpott of SEE Southampton Many of us will be attending Christmas gigs and Church services this Festive season, perhaps unaware of the contribution Southampton has made to the Christmas musical landscape.

It was 300 years ago in 1719 that Isaac Watts published ‘Joy to the World’ - today, one of our - and indeed the world’s - most popular Christmas carols. The

‘Father of English Hymn Writing’ whose ‘O God Our Help in Ages Past’ is recognised as the hymn of Southampton - originally wrote the hymn to reference Christ’s triumphant return rather than his First Coming: Joy to the world! The Lord is come; Let earth receive her King; Let every heart prepare him room, And heaven and nature sing, And heaven and nature sing, And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.

Another Southampton inspired song associated with Christmas (but in fact written about the autumn season) – ‘The Bells of St. Mary’s’, was written in 1914 by Douglas Furber with music from the Australian A. Emmett Adams. The lyrics reference ‘When red leaves are falling . . . ‘. The song features on arguably the greatest Christmas record ever produced, The Phil Spector Christmas album, where it is covered

by Bob B. Soxx and The Blue Jeans. The album was released on 22 November 1963 the day President Kennedy was assassinated.

The bells of St Mary's, Ah, hear they are calling The young loves, the true loves That come from the sea Another assassination - that of John Lennon in New York - arguably denied Southampton born Jona Lewie the Christmas number one in 1980. Lewie’s ‘Stop the Cavalry’ reached no 3 in the Christmas charts, with John Lennon’s posthumous releases (Just Like) Starting Over’ and ‘Happy Xmas (War is Over)’ battling for the number one spot together with Lewie and St. Winifried’s School Choir’s ‘There’s No One Quite Like Grandma’. The well-known video for the song is set in the trenches of the First World War, though the lyrics mention the ‘nuclear fallout zone’. The line ‘I have had to fight, almost every night, down throughout the centuries’ is said to symbolise the eternal soldier.

Lewie, speaking to the BBC in 2009, estimated that the song provided approximately 50% of his annual income stream.

Hey, Mr. Churchill comes over here To say we're doing splendidly But it's very cold out here in the snow Marching to win from the enemy

Oh I say it's tough, I have had enough Can you stop the cavalry?

Southampton can however lay claim to links with a Christmas number one. The early 1970s Christmas charts were always hotly contested, with the likes of Slade’s ‘Merry Christmas Everybody’ and Wizzard’s ‘I Wish it could be Christmas everyday’. The 1971 Christmas number one however was a novelty record, with Eastleigh born and ex-milkman Benny Hill’s ode to ‘Ernie’ (The Fastest Milkman in the West) reaching the coveted position: And he galloped into Market Street His badge upon his chest His name was Ernie And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west ...

Appearing on Desert Island discs in 2006 future Prime Minister David Cameron revealed ‘Ernie’ would be one of the songs he would take with him to the fictional island. Will our post December 12th Prime Minister be likely to take a piece of Southampton’s musical history with them on their Desert Island?!

King Richard I (The Lionheart) was said to like a good tune, and legend has it that the Troubadour Blondel ‘discovered’ his Master when playing his favourite song at the base of Durnstein Castle in Austria in 1193, where Richard was held prisoner. A ransom of 35 tons of silver was negotiated for his release, some by the Southampton merchant Gervase le Riche.

And how did King Richard celebrate? By coming and spending his only Christmas in England at Southampton Castle the following year. Elsie M. Sandell in ‘A Southampton Cavalcade’ imagines the scene: ‘ ... the Yule logs piled high on the hearth till the flames leapt upwards throwing fantastic shadows amongst the rafters. There would be minstrel music and gay revelry with the deep wassail bowl filled to the brim and huge joints being carved by the esquires for the High Table. The King had come again, a free man.’

So this year, look out for your Southampton Christmas music, you’ll never know where it might take you!

Editors note: AND of course let’s not forget The AND Guide’s very own Barry Upton who gave us STEPS and 5678. In 2004 he wrote and produced tongue in cheek one hit wonder ‘I’d Like To Give You One for Christmas’. Featuring two Southampton girls, Shelly Mintrim and Kelly Hampson as Hotpantz, it was the 3rd most requested Christmas video in 2004 on now defunked TV Channel The Box. Sadly it only made a modest 64 in the UK charts. Ed)

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“WRITE ABOUT ANYTHING” he said! Well that narrows it down?

I think I’ll write about er ... me.

Hi, I'm Matt Black, Some of you may have heard my name (and some will have seen it on the side of a pot of paint!), but most will have not. I am a pianist/ comedian/ songwriter/record producer/radio host / columnist ... (see below).

Doing your bit for charity As a musician I've always had an undercurrent-eqsue feeling that what I do isn't an 'essential' job in the broad scheme of life, such as Fire fighters, or Nurses etc.

A lot of my mates and mate-esses hold noble professions such as those, as well as Plumbers, Builders, Mechanics - the list is huge - all of which can be essential to us at one point or another.

There have been many occasions where I've called a friend and asked if they can fix the main mode of transport I need to be able to cart my piano, and related accoutrements, to a gig in a far off place - obviously essential to me ... Rarely have I had a phone call from someone asking me to play 'The Flight Of The Bumble Bee' or they can't get to work - if you see what I mean. (You are essential to me, my ivory tinkling voice over champion! Ed) That is why, when folk such as I get asked to help a charity in some way, for me, it feels like I'm part of the solution a bit more, There are many ways entertainers can help a genuine charity, Providing Entertainment where tickets are sold to raise funds, for example, or donating proceeds from a record that the artist has released, even donating musical instruments to souls who have not the means to acquire them via their own means.

I get asked, many times of a month, to participate in these ventures, and to keep a rein on it we agree to 1 charity event in any month (first come, first served basis) - after all I still need to provide for my family also.

My favourite way to be involved is through the use of my Recording Studio 'Hangover Hill' One method is to provide vouchers for time in the studio, a tangible way to gift someone the chance to record their own music.

Another is to actually write, record and release a track and then divert the sales revenue etc to the charity in question.

We've just done the latter - in fact - a rather talented singer, Jessica Lark, booked the studio to record some tracks for her own album, and one of them happened to be 'O Holy Night'.

Now I'm not a massive fan of Christmas music, I'm not a religious man at all, I'm a bit numb to it if I'm honest, but O Holy Night to me jumps right out as one of the most beautiful tunes I've ever heard as it stands on it's own.

We totally recorded the whole track as we imagined it - and were thrilled at the finished result.

It was at that point that Jessica suggested that there might be a charity that would like to use this recording and so I contacted a friend of mine, David Wood of 'Helping Homeless Veterans UK' which is what I consider to be a worthwhile, and essential, organisation that provides help for ex members of our armed forces who struggle to make ends meet after service (a subject deeply important to me for those that don't know me well) Well it's out in the world now - and so are some of the men and women who fought for our country - some of them cold, hungry, and despondent - Even when it's not Christmas that's not right.

To download please go to: www.bandcamp.com Search for 'O Holy Night' by Jessica Lark (It's on the Hangover Hill Bandcamp page)

hangoverhill.bandcamp.com /track/o-holy-night And at least have a listen.

If you like it why not buy it for a quid? Then you can be part of the solution too.

ALL PROCEEDS go to the charity (the only costs are bank fees, and commission from the download sites).

I reckon you'll even like the tune!

AND finally ... just so you know you’re not in a parallel universe and it is actually me. Here’s pic of my new stage jumper I’ll be sporting this Christmas. I even got one for Mel! Have a great Christmas and New Year!

matt-black.org

Cliff Bryant

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HANGER FARM ARTS Hanger Farm is a relaxed and friendly arts centre in a beautiful 18th century converted barn on the edge of Totton and the New Forest. With a licensed bar and plenty of free parking, the venue makes for a hassle-free enjoyable evening out. The Arts Café is from 9:30am until 4:45pm Mondays to Fridays and on Saturday mornings serving light lunches and delicious cakes – and you can even bring your dog along too!

A selection for Oct & Nov. NEW FOREST GUITAR NIGHT Wednesday 4 December 7.30pm Tickets £14 / £13 Award winning acoustic guitarist Will McNicol hosts an evening celebrating the diversity of the guitar. Headlining is jazz and blues guitarist Remi Harris with double bassist Simon Smith. Supported

by Chris Woods with the Bournemouth Guitar Orchestra and a solo set by Will himself.

THE SILVER BEATLES Thursday 5 December 8pm Tickets £15 / £13 A show full of The Beatles’ hits that will magically transport you to a place where a splendid time is guaranteed for all.

PER PIACERE Saturday 7 December 7.30pm Tickets £10 / £8 Back by popular demand, Southampton-based orchestra Per Piacere focus mainly on Baroque and Classical periods.

The repertoire for this Christmas concert will include Schubert, Pleyel and Mendelssohn.

GreenMatthews present: A CHRISTMAS CAROL IN CONCERT Sunday 8 December 7.30pm Tickets £14 / £12 Modern-day balladeers take the well-loved festive adventure back to its Victorian fireside roots, painting a vivid and evocative picture of Dickens’ world which brims with warmth, wit and wonder.

Liam and Tony White’s CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR Saturday 21 December 8pm Tickets £15 / £13 The return of father and son duo Tony and Liam White for their ever popular festive spectacular. From Neil Diamond to Michael Bublé hits, what better way to get your Christmas going with a swing?

MALCOLM THE MAGICIAN Sunday 22 December, 11am & 2pm Tickets £8 / £6 / family £22 Take some time out from your busy Christmas schedule to enjoy Malcolm the Magician’s Family Magic Show. Malcolm is one of the top children’s enter-

tainers in the South and his warm and friendly personality will ensure all the family are included in the fun and laughter.

Ivan Brackenbury supports TOM BINNS: THE ‘PSYCHIC’ COMEDIUM Wednesday 8 January, 7:30pm Tickets £12 / £10 Multi award winning comedian Tom Binns has performed his ‘Psychic’ Character Ian D Montfort to 5-star reviews around the world. He’s entertained and amazed sceptics and believers alike on his own BBC Radio 2 series ‘Ian D Montfort is: Unbelievable’ and his critically acclaimed BBC 1 Friday night series Hospital People. During this time Tom claims to have discovered a genuine ‘psychic’ ability and now performs as The ‘Psychic Comedium’. In his performances Tom clearly makes jaw dropping revelations about his audience but is he gifted or is he deluded or is he just full of s**t? Whatever you decide his gift for comedy is undeniable and his ‘psychic’ powers are unbelievable!

Forest Forge presents: LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Sunday 12 January, 2pm Tickets £9 / £7.50 / £7 The Deep Dark Wood is a place of mystery. The path will guide you safely through but beyond the path is where the magic begins. The travelling players know the way, so join them on their next adventure.

You may meet three little pigs, a girl with a magic cape and a rather misunderstood wolf!

Don’t Go into the Cellar presents: PRINCE OF DARKNESS Wednesday 22 January, 7:30pm Tickets £13 / £11 Famed Edwardian actor Vincent Griswold prepares to perform as Edgar Allan Poe in a stage-play based on the author’s life. But Griswold’s obsession with the dead writer threatens his own sanity and the lives of those around him in this compelling psychological melodrama.

HITS FROM THE BLITZ Thursday 23 January, 7:30pm Tickets £14 From London’s Leicester Square Theatre, the unique 1940’s Show & Dance Band Five Star Swing.

ABBA’S ANGELS Friday 31 January, 8pm Tickets £15 One of the UK’s finest tribute to Abba. Their energy, talent and showmanship is sure to blast away your winter blues.

Box Office: 023 8066 7683 www.hangerfarm.co.uk

PICS FROM TOP: ABBA’s Angels A CHRISTMAS CAROL IN CONCERT Hits from the Blitz LIAM AND TONY WHITE’S CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR Malcolm the Magician NEW FOREST GUITAR NIGHT The ‘Psychic’ Comedium

the city’s best ... empowering the and guide

page 13

Stu’s GIG highlights to End & start a year Stuart Davis JOE SHWARTZ BLUEES COMMOTION

JESSIE MALIN

NIKKI YEOH’ AND’ ZOE RAHMAN’ Back in the 1960’s, human rights activist Malcolm X stated that the media is the most powerful entity on earth.

This still rings true today, where it is having a huge impact on the upcoming general election and people's way of thinking in what is already an extremely divided nation.

Sadly, a lot of the media (on both sides of the fence) is based on viewpoints, personal bias and mudslinging. It is quite frightening how easily people will believe and be influenced by what they read and will not investigate further to find out whether what they’ve read is actually the truth or not.

The same could be said for its influence on music, where bands and artists can be made, broken, deemed unhip or proclaimed cool etc, just though reviews, which is basically just a journalists’ opinion. If you just go by what you read or hear and do not investigate for yourself, you could be missing something that you might really like.

There are plenty of opportunities to 'investigate for yourself' at our regions live venues over the next couple of months...and besides, it's Christmas, so why not treat yourself to a fun festive night out watching some of the magnificent live music on offer over the next couple of months.

It promises to be the most wonderful time of the year at THE 1865 where you can revel in the charms of boisterous emerald Isle ambassadors ‘Fontaines DC’, high-wired minstrel ‘Aldous Harding’, foot stomping folkies ‘Sheelanagig’, unconventional dapper collective ‘Gentleman's dub club’. Ballroom blitzers ‘The Sweet’, LA rockers ‘The Calling’, blues-rock siren ‘Eliana Cargnelutti’, solid soul octet ‘Rufus Stone’, seasonal progsters ‘Mostly Autumn’ and ska reggae 9 piece ‘The Dualers’. You can also savour the rich melodic clarity

DWEEZLE ZAPPA of ‘Lucid’, the dexterous wordplay of ‘John Cooper Clarke’ and ‘Popa Chubbys’ Motorhead meets Muddy Waters cacophony.

The joyful and triumphant bookings at THE BROOK include lycra clad plank spankers ‘Hairforce 5’, fresh funk crew ‘The Brand New Heavies’, Spike Edneys ‘SAS band’ and a New Year’s Eve party with The Underdogs. There are also seasonal salutes to the greats with Thin Lizzy, Elvis, Madness, David Bowie, Fleetwood Mac, T-Rex and REM tributes.

The jingle bells will be rocking at THE JOINERS to the sounds of Brentwood metallers ‘InMe’, ex Tribes man ‘Johnny Lloyd’, political troubadour ‘Sean McGowan’, tuneful team ‘Accrington Stanley’, high voltage classic rockers ‘Western Sand’, jangly newcomers ‘Spinn’, scouse pop punks ‘WSTR’ and the heavily tattooed ‘Vinnie Caruana’. You will also be blown away by an ‘Avalanche Party’ of tsunami of mega riffs and ear popping basslines, the aggressively intelligent ‘Lady Bird’ and the bare necessity of ‘The Mowgli’s.

Gearing up for festive frivolities at THE ENGINE ROOMS are psychedelic saviours ‘Temples’, indie journeymen ‘Ride’, intergalactic felines ‘Cats in Space’, Portland’s ‘Dan Reed Network’ and a nostalgic hard rock double bill featuring ‘Skid Row’ and ‘The Quireboys’. You can also enjoy some Chrimbo wrapping with original gangsters ‘Insane Clown Posse’.

‘Hobo Johnson and the Lovemakers’ will be simply having a wonderful Christmas time at THE O2 GUILDHALL where other enticements include swashbuckling dandy highwayman ‘Adam Ant’, Maryland’s ‘Clutch’ and guitar renegade ‘Dweezil Zappa’. You will also get the chance to behold a ‘Vision of Elvis’ and enjoy the gift of ‘Abba Gold’ (no Frankincense and Myrrh unfortunately).

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas at other venues in the city too; THE LOFT hosts Florida’s ‘Wage War’, the euphorically dark ‘Submarriner’, Long Island wanderers ‘Stray from the Path’ and multi-instrumentalist Brian Crhistinzio better known as ‘BC Camplight’.

THE FIREHOUSE will be ablaze with the sounds of Nu industrial combo ‘Cross

Breed’ and psychedelic covers crew ‘Stone Free’. The superb ‘Zoe Schwarz Blues commotion’ and multi-instrumentalist ‘The Real Raj’ will be stepping up at THE PLATFORM and over at HEARTBREAKERS you can enjoy eloquent dreamers ‘Telemarkk’and the amusingly named ‘Peaness’....surely a radio DJ's worst nightmare!

THE MAYFLOWER ships you back in time to relive the magic of Queen in ‘We will rock you’ and Tina Turner in ‘What's love got to do with it’. Meanwhile over at TURNER SIMS acclaimed pianists ‘Nikki Yeoh’ and’ Zoe Rahman’ will be tinkling the ivories ‘Joe Stilgoe’ will be celebrating Christmas at the

THE WONDER BAND (Fareham), Ferneham Halls (Fareham) The Red Lion (Stubbington), Arty’s, The White Hart, The Gypsy Queen, Platform Tavern (all Gosport) and Jaggs at 119, The Royal Albert, Thatchers, The Jolly Sailor, Edge of the Wedge, The Golden Eagle, The Wine Vaults and The Barley Mow are all worth checking out Bringing glad tidings of comfort and joy to the crowds at THE RAILWAY in Winchester will be the captivatingly melancholic ditties of ‘James Kirby’, topically clever comic ‘Joe Mongan’, passionate storytelling minstrel ‘Ryan O Reilly’, the acclaimed ‘Boo Hewerdine’ and ‘Progspawn’ who will be spreading the word about the joys of Prog.

‘Bjorn Again and Grime pioneer Kano.

You can also catch the Geordie Springsteen ‘Dermot Kennedy’ and the wondrous ‘Wonderstuff’ who will be performing their seminal 8 Legged Groove Machine and Hup albums as well as cuts from their new opus Better Being Lucky. ‘BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB’ will be offering you a different kind of fix and it will be a time for heroes when the fantastic ‘Libertines’ take to the stage.

There won’t be many Silent Nights at THE BIC with ‘Pete Tong’ banging out old school Ibiza classics, ‘Jools Holland’ belting out standards on the old Joanna, and I’d even predict a riot when ‘The

IN THESE TIMES OF DIVISION, WE NEED TO CLING ON TO THINGS THAT CAN UNITE US AND BRING US TOGETHER AND LIVE MUSIC DOES JUST THAT movies and ‘Ute Lemper’ will be enjoying a 'Rendezvous with Marlene' ...which could just as easily be an episode from Only Fools and Horses.

Stepping into Christmas at THE CONCORDE will 60s starlets ‘The Manfreds’, crazy horse ‘Merill Osmond’, ‘Solent City Jazzmen’ and energetic singing saxophonist ‘Curtis Stigers’. You can also revel in a multitude of homages, including doffs of the cap to Stevie Wonder, Eric Clapton, The Police, John Lennon, Elvis, Whitney Huston, Michael Buble, Robbie Williams, Lionel Ritchie, Tom Jones, Abba, Lady Gaga, Madonna, Madness, Showaddywaddy, The Beatles, Black Eyed Peas, Michael Jackson and Gary Barlow.

IF YOU LIKE THINGS MORE INTIMATE then Browns, The Hintonbury Farmhouse, The Orange Rooms, The Stable, The Liberty Bar, The Loft, The Frog and Frigate, Mettricks, The Hop Inn, The Alexandra, The Art House, The Hobbit and Mango No 5. The Windsor Castle, The Steam Town Bar (Eastleigh), The Cricketers (Eastleigh), The Horse and Jockey (Curbridge), and The Old George (Fair Oak). The Navigator (Swanwick), The Dolphin (St Denys), The Yacht Tavern (Woolston), The Brewery Bar (Botley), The Clockwork Bar (Shirley), The Wheatsheaf (Shedfield) and The Kings Head (Wickham). The Bird in Hand

Portsmouth will be having themselves a merry little Christmas with a host of attractions including multiplatinum songstress ‘Emeli Sande’, pop phenomenon ‘Melanie Martinez’ and the ‘Bournemouth Symphony Orchestras’ last night of the Christmas proms’ at THE GUILDHALL. Gritty Italian glamsters ‘Giuda’, apocalyptic party quartet ‘Bastille’’, impassioned head turners Band of Skulls’ and metalcore muthas ‘Bury Tomorrow’ are at THE PYRAMIDS, which will also be illuminated by spandex revivalists ‘The Darkness’.

The Winter Wonderland that is the WEDGEWOOD ROOMS opens its doors to roaring rabble rousers ‘Skinny Lister’, post rave survivors ‘Dreadzone’, Perth stalwarts ‘The Faim’, groove gang ‘The Bloodhounds’, grunge trio ‘Killing Morton’ and lively quartet ‘The Dead Authors’. Local favourites ‘Hometown Show’, will be not only be playing an ahem, hometown show, but also launching their new 'The Old Golden River' album and ‘The Bellrays’ will be reminding us that blues is the teacher and punk is the preacher.

There are plenty of stars of wonder at THE 02 ACADEMY in Bournemouth including 24 hour party people ‘The Happy Mondays’, saccharine fuelled trio ‘Scouting for Girls’, Abba impersonators

Kaiser Chiefs’ take to the stage. Chaplin’s and Cellar Bar invites you to get your jollies with the ‘The Polly Morris band’ and indulge in some Ukulele madness with the ‘Mother Ukers’.

If Ukuleles are thing then you will also want to head over to THE POOLE LIGHTHOUSE where the ‘Ukulele orchestra of Great Britain’ will be indulging in Festive Frivolity and Midwinter Mischief.

You can also marvel at the operatic masterpiece ‘Wozzeck’, terribly funny man ‘Jimmy Carr’, the addictive darkly comical and eclectic ‘Moscow Drug Club’ and the best in local sounds at the Live and Unheard showcase, featuring ‘Lo-fi Rebels’, ‘The Emma Harvey band’ and the brilliant ‘Savage Underdog’.

In these times of division, we need to cling on to things that can unite us and bring us together and live music does just that. We are very blessed in this region to have a marvellously diverse live music scene where there is something for everyone, but if you do not investigate, you will be missing out.

Have a great Christmas and keep it live.

www.mistamessy.com www.thinkermusic.co.uk www.andradio.co.uk

Guide to boosting retirement income, Part 2 of 3.

AND GUIDE FINANCIAL with Asset Management Financial Advisers (AMFA) Ltd. 3. RISKS AND SEQUENCE OF RETURNS IN RETIREMENT With life expectancies on the rise, retirement is becoming more complicated than it was several years ago. Most people may wonder what the biggest risks facing them are apart from the obvious, outliving their pension pots. The introduction of pension freedoms in 2015, means that individuals have greater choice on how to receive their retirement income, albeit exposing themselves to greater risk.

Building a pension pot that will allow our clients to retire with enough to live on, to have the lifestyle that they want in retirement is one of the most valuable parts of financial planning an adviser can do.

Santa’s little helpers

security, flexibility and value for money and ultimately we will need to trade off some preferences for others.

Things to consider include: •

Income needs

•

Existing retirement savings

•

Personal circumstances

•

Life expectancy

•

Long term care needs

•

Impact of costs and charges

•

Investment strategy and impact of investment returns

Outliving your pension

•

Attitude to risk

The biggest risk is a lack of understanding by people on how much they can afford and running out of their money too soon.

•

Capacity for loss

The average retirement age in the UK is still in the mid-sixties, 65.1 years old in 2018 for men, and 63.9 years old in for women, and more and more people choose not to buy an annuity (a guaranteed income for life) at this age because they are perceived to be poor value, given that rates have reduced significantly in line with interest rates generally.

Many in the industry believe that “sequence of returns” is the biggest risk facing those in retirement. Sequence of returns is how the timing of withdrawals from a retirement portfolio could have an adverse impact on the overall return available to the investor. Any losses may be more pronounced for people who are dependent on the income and are no longer making contributions that could help reduce the losses.

So what are the risks faced once people get into retirement?

Retirement planning is one of the most central parts of a financial adviser's remit.

written by Gordon Craig

As people are not securing a guaranteed income for life they must therefore budget and manage for a retirement which could last a lot longer than they think. Rising life expectancy means that more people in the UK will reach retirement age than ever before. Although this is a good thing, it also means that there are more growing pressures of late-life financial risks if people are unprepared.

Lifestyle and income needs will shift over the course of retirement as you may want to prioritise holidays while still able and willing to travel before then considering other financial issues such as about more long-term costs, including later life care. There is no silver bullet which will meet all our preferences for income,

Sequence of returns risk

If you choose not to buy an annuity and instead draw an income directly from your pension pot, you remain invested and still subject to the investment risk of values falling as well as rising. Negative returns in the early years are particularly damaging as they cannot be offset against growth achieved prior to impact.

The biggest risk in this is timing. If you decide to take pension withdrawals at the wrong time, the overall return will likely be damaged, especially if this is done during a a period in which investment markets generally are suffering in a downward tren, for example, after the 2008 financial crisis.

you make the toys, we’ll help you pay for them!

A very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year to all AND Readers!

CALL your nearest office now for a free and confidential, no-obligation, one hour meeting, to evaluate your financial circumstances.

The following long-term strategies can help to minimise this type of risks: • Working up until as late as possible, especially during peak earning years so that more money can be contributed • Saving and investing at all times (no matter how small) • Have a well-diversified portfolio in place to help reduce risks. Having all your eggs in one basket is not worth the potential dangers.

• Cut down on unnecessary costs.

Market Crash Some in the industry warn that retirement portfolios in drawdown, where pension income is taken directly from the fund, can also be adversely impacted by market crashes.

A market crash type scenario can reduce a retiree’s pension fund significantly, which often means a lower income must be taken in drawdown or, if buying an annuity, the lower fund will only be able to buy a much reduced income. An excessive withdrawal rate which risks the pension pot being prematurely exhausted can prove to an acute problem if investment growth is insufficient to match it. So, investment solutions need to be balanced against rising life expectancy where capital needs to grow and one that reduces the risk to limit impact of any market falls.

This is where a well-diversified asset mix with a strategy for short, medium and long term returns can really help to deliver a sustainable income. offer.”

For a FREE, NO-OBLIGATION REVIEW of your wealth and potential inheritance tax liability, why not call Gordon Craig now on 023 8042 0606?

At Asset Management Financial Advisers Ltd., we are here to help businesses and individuals receive professional advice on all aspects of financial planning.

Russell Cook

BOOKS red & rit It is the season to be jolly whether you like it or not. The publicity departments in the many publishing houses across this lovely planet of ours start ramping up the public awareness of new books that will be weighing down the seasonal book shelves from late summer onwards. Masses of them all vying to make a mark on out literary expectations. Here are a few that have caught my eye.

Adam Kay probably surprised himself with the success of his first book This IS Going to Hurt, which comprised extracts and very funny ones too of his time as a Junior Doctor. He has followed this up with the very slender (NHS nutritionists would be very proud) Twas the Nightshift Before Christmas (Picador £9.99) detailing his years working the festive shifts.

What shines though in these brief quick witted tales is the sheer energy and commitment that the 1.4 million staff who keep the NHS going gives each year. There is one thing that doesn’t change each 365 days, the massive chronic underfunding from successive Governments that is slowly crippling this wonderful institution. No amount of humour can overshadow that, well maybe the story about the condom covered in peanut butter which brings

AND WHY THE CLIVE JAMES PIC? BECAUSE I THINK HE’S BEEN IN EVERY CHRISTMAS REVIEW RUSSELL’S EVER DONE FOR ME AND IT JUST WOULDN’T FEEL LIKE CHRISTMAS WTHOUT HIM! BESIDES HE’S A GREAT WRITER AND POSING WITH ONE OF MY MUCH EARLIER REINCARNATIONS AND HIS VERY ENTERTAINING BOOK ‘CULTURAL AMNESIA’.

MERRY CHRISTMAS SIR! ED.

the study of nut allergies to a whole new level.

Whenever I’ve seen Anthony Daniels interviewed about Star Wars and the iconic C3PO I’ve often wondered what he was really thinking behind the beaming “happy to be here” smile that flashes at every Star Wars publicity junket and there have been many of those over the past five decades. Perhaps I am C3PO: The Inside Story (DK £18.99) his memoir of everything Star Wars which has been published on the eve of the ninth and supposedly final film The Rise of Skywalker (bought your tickets yet?) will shed some light on the man behind the golden mask? There is an earnestness to the story of a man that wants to be liked, appreciated and above all respected rather like the Golden Droid itself, its all very touching. This inside story is not really a memoir it a lovingly detailed account of life in a famous galaxy far far away along with tales of his equally famous co stars.

What is missing is a little

more about Anthony, there is a brief summation of life before metal uncomfortable suits but not much and that is a shame. The man behind the golden mask still remains mostly hidden but his love of the character brings this story of a truly unique film franchise alive.

A new thriller from John Le Carre’ is on the shelves and just like many of the author’s previous novels, it draws you in from page one. Agent Running in the Field (Viking £20) is set in the present day. Le Carre’ never fails to entertain and surprise, and as a thriller writer par excellence he delivers a blistering attack on the state of this country in the midst of this pre Brexit chaos. There is the shadow of the ever prevalent Iron Curtain, or rather Moscow Central casting more storm clouds across an already crowded sky of political intrigue, human frailty and loyalties that are divided a few times over. This is a British spy thriller that works on many levels that has Nat, a

veteran of Britain’s Secret Intelligence service hoping that his years as an agent-runner are over, however there is one more job that then office would like him to take charge of. He takes the role and it’s his Monday night Badminton partner Ed a man half his age and in a job at a media agency that he hates who guides Nat’s life in a truly unusual direction. Captivating.

In the introduction to this new edition of Raw Spirit (Century £12.99), the writer Ian Rankin states that drinking Whisky is not just about drinking Whisky. An interesting observation and that is a good hook to grab a potential reader into a voyage that a malt connoisseur of any level will find enticing and as warming as that first sip of the nectar that has a history as rugged and unpredictable as Scotland’s enticing and formidable terrain.

Iain Bank’s fascinating journey of discovery was first published in 2003 and this long overdue reissue follows six years from his untimely death

in 2013 at the age of 59. Like a fine glass of malt this is a rich and delicious read as the golden roads and waterways of Scotland are travelled by car, bike and ferries. In the middle of his travels, Iain makes the point that however messed up the world may get, a good dram will make it at least, slightly more bearable.

With election fever and Brexit paranoia surrounding us at every twist and turn, I’ll raise a glass to that.

Talking of raising a glass, many have been raised in the past few weeks to Clive James who sadly passed away aged 80. I had the pleasure of interviewing him in 2007, the interview published in the then AND magazine. Needless to say Clive was, witty, erudite, thought provoking and brilliantly funny. A man of many words and many talents. We salute you sir and thank you.

Russell’s Blog Brave New World is at www. therewriteman.wordpress.com

Young Writers ... take a bow!

The AND Guide is a newspaper of many guises and always keen to promote local issues and interests. When on the grapevine we heard a local school in Harestock, Winchester were really encouraging children to develop an interest in creative writing, I sent Russell Cook, fresh from reviewing yet another pile of books, along to investigate.

Hats off to Russell for taking the time to inspire, motivate and for having the patience to answer the many questions our eager young writers asked.

Anyway ... in no particular order, please enjoy the first of Harestock Primary School’s marvellous short stories: The Last Raid. The others will follow in coming editions.

Russell duly spent a morning with enthusiastic pupils from two classes of Year 5 and 6 (ages 9-11) talking about his career as a writer. Capturing the children’s interest with stories of how he developed his desire to write from his school days, by being encouraged by a particular teacher to read certain books.

To inspire the children further, Russell offered the opportunity for them to have some of their own writing printed up in “The AND Guide”. The children decided upon writing short stories linked to their “The Vikings Law Breakers or Law Makers?” topic. The pupils carefully planned and wrote their stories, reflecting on their work - editing and improving as they went along. The promise of having some of their work published certainly improved motivation to write and gave an increased sense of purpose.

The result, a fabulously imaginative and generally very well written collection of tales, that will I am sure, will be enjoyed by adults and children alike. In fact, I liked them so much that instead of choosing a winner, we are going to publish all 10 of the stories the kids voted the best in class. Interesting too to see that some of the stories are collaborations of writers. Never a bad idea to start working together. Perhaps you could have a word with our grown-up politicians!

All in all, very well done kids. I am delighted to have your stories in my paper. Tell your teacher the Editor says you can have Friday afternoon off (or at least a round of applause if that made your teacher feint!).

By Kishan and Matthew

If you’d like a school visit … let me know. Ed.

The Last Raid All that was in view was crystal clear water. It seemed like a mistake had occurred. It was silent. The time had come. Everyone was silent. As our vessel halted, I was thrust from my starting position on the deck.

My master gave the order battle was in sight. “Everyone take your positions it is time to fight.” Bellowed the lord. “Let’s go!” My lord grabbed me and dragged me towards the edge of the boat. He pulled me over the side and jumped onto the beach. A flurry of arrows flew from over the cliffs impaling my master’s men.

Cries of agonising pain could be heard in every direction. Increasing amounts of warriors were joining the battle screaming their war cries as they ran into the fight. My master hauled me across the battlefield trying to find cover. As my leader ran across the blood stained beach: I saw corpses of other men lying there motionless.

We dived behind a rock where a group of men gathered together planning their attack.

All of us split into our different directions ready to outflank our enemy. More and more vicious defenders were charging at us, weapons blazing in the early morning sun.

After hours of fierce battling, a village was in sight. My master and his men regrouped, ready to assault the enemy settlement, unfortunately there was a long march ahead.

Slowly, the enemy village grew closer, in the distance we could see smoke rising from chimneys on top of thatched rooves.

As we marched towards our target, suddenly there was a cry of pain. It was one of our men, lying there on the ground, blood dripping from his tunic. An arrow lodged in his chest. There was another man standing a couple of yards back, bow in hand, a cruel smile on his face. An arrow was knocked into his bow, ready to fire.

“What’s going on here Rurik?” called my master calmly, Rurik was silent.

“You have just killed one of our men!” shouted my master, angrily.

Rurik shrugged his shoulders. “I made a deal with the locals…” There was a hiss then a thud. Rurik was dead.

“Well you came to a sticky end, Rurik,” muttered my leader. “Come on lads lets go,” he ordered dropping the bow.

The jingle of chainmail and weapons continued as we marched closer to the village.

When we reached our target, the sound of clashing steel echoed around the village: battle had begun. Enemy warriors were charging at us from every direction, blood-thirsty willing to sacrifice themselves.

Then it happened, my master drew me and charged up, he thrust me into the enemy soldier. There was a trail of blood on my body.

The first blood had occurred and it was me who drew it. Soon enough, my master turned around and then I was dropped onto the rough ground. My fate has been fulfilled. I was the blade, the killer. All that was in view was dirt where was he, my owner?

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THE MUSIC BIZ according to Barry Upton

THE FUTURE OF THE MUSIC BIZ Barry Upton Our resident pop guru Barry is a multi international hit songwriter/producer/performer. Initially a front singer with Brotherhood Of Man he’s worked with a multitude of household names including being creator of the lovable pop outfit STEPS, penning their massive hit 5678 and with his mate and editor of this ‘ere paper, previously co-hosting the AND Magazine Show on Radio Hampshire.

He’s currently a TV & radio presenter and producer in Thailand, still performing and a #1 Chart buster in 2018 ... twice! ward slump. How would the internet and early smartphones impact the business of news?

Twenty years later, social networks have permanently shifted the distribution of content. How will we now convince Gen Z, Millennials and Gen X to pay for content? Will streaming platforms survive all of these new

ing faster than anyone anticipated. The problem is that faked videos are only the beginning. While we’re fixated on deep fake videos, especially ahead of our own and the 2020 US elections, there are many more “deep [x]” applications casting an ominous shadow on the horizon. Researchers are already able to rep-

In developed markets, half of the interactions consumers have with computers will be using voice by the end of 2020. This isn’t just about talking to a smart speaker. Voice interfaces are now everywhere, from smart speakers to home appliances to kiosks. Consumers should expect to talk more often than they

FORGET ‘AI’ IS COMING. It’s already here. Top left: Lil Miquela, a virtual influencer created by Los Angeles-based company Brud. The project began in 2016 as an Instagram profile. She now has millions of followers.

Below left: Xin Xiaomeng the world’s first female AI news anchor.

Below right: Stadium filling holographic singer Hatsune Miku. AND ... Akihiko Kondo, a 35-year-old Tokyo school administrator has married her! Yes really.

The end of December heralds a new decade and the wonderment of what 2020 will bring us to make our lives even happier.

The business part of music is still alive but only just. People of an advanced age are only buying CDs at Christmas because of the easiness of getting a cheap present for someone they don’t care about so much, but shying away the rest of the year from supporting the culture that they grew up with and which meant so much to their formative years. As far as downloading goes, I know from personal experience, many just can’t get their heads around it and almost refuse to learn.

The younger generation are generally completely computer savvy and know how to stream or download for free. So, the future of the music business is not bright.

However, digital entertainment in general has diversified and has become the new drug of choice.

Futurists spend just as much time looking back as they do forward.

Twenty years ago we were surrounded by early smartphones, Tamagotchi Virtual Pets, Palm Pilots and MiniDisc players.

MySpace and Napster both went live, and they signaled a radical change in distribution.

What happened when people would share movies, songs, games and news content with their peers rather than buying from a store?

Now we know.

Google and Yahoo! had just launched and were freely available to everyone from their inception - without needing to download software.

News organizations were headed into a down-

planned subscription models? Or will this lead to even more consolidation?

We don’t know when 5G will roll out everywhere, and we’re questioning the business cases and infrastructure models for 5G (What’s 5G? Just can’t get my head around it. Ed) We always seem to be at the beginning of an evolution.

Synthetic media offers new opportunities and challenges. Japanese pop star Hatsune Miku, American influencer Lil Miquela and Chinese news anchor Xin Xiaomeng are synthetic media. They were generated using large databases and specially-trained algorithms, and they represent a new world of synthesized content. Synthetic media can be modulated and responsive to our tastes and preferences. But we don’t have ethical guidelines on how to use synthetic media. There is no obligation to inform consumers that something (a person, pet, place or object) has been algorithmically generated.

Authenticating content is becoming more difficult. Deep fakes, videos created using A.I. that can make it look like someone said or did something they have never done, are spread-

licate and modulate voices, mimic body movements and gestures, and anticipate and generate reactive behaviors.

Regulation is coming ... Apple, Amazon, Google and Facebook are under investigation.

Germany’s domestic anti-trust authority is investigating big tech companies, while France and Great Britain are pushing for a digital tax.

Platform regulation and taxation will impact the distribution of content, and there are likely to be reverberating impacts on how every organization collects and uses consumer data.

We’ve entered the post-fixed screen era. By the summer of 2019, Apple disclosed a slump in iPhone revenue as it was down 12% year over year. Samsung reported the same. Part of the reason is price: Most consumers just aren’t willing to drop so much money or more on a top of the range mobile phone. However there are other forces in play: smart wearables, smart speakers, and home automation devices.

In the next few years, consumers won’t rely on the single, fixed screens of their mobile devices, but will instead transition to a diverse, multi-interface ecosystem.

type. This impacts every entertainment, media and technology company, and as a result, there will be a new emphasis on voice search optimization (VSO). Consumers who want to get news, listen to music, play games and watch their favorite shows and movies are going to have to pay a la carte, which means spending way more for content (unlikely) or prioritizing for a budget. They’ll have a lot to choose from: PlayStation Now, Spotify, Netflix, Audible, CBS All Access, Google Stadia, Jump, Shadow, Amazon.com, Hulu, Apple, Playkey and the upcoming streaming services from Walt Disney, Universal and WarnerMedia division.

So, taking all of the above into consideration, the lowly songwriter and performer needs to get on board or be reduced to sharing your creations with ‘friends only’.

All the more reason to be careful how you approach your output and, as I’ve said on many occasions before, target an audience, start from the end point and work backwards.

Or… do what makes you happy and have fun with your creative output, ignoring the business side of things. Nothing wrong with that.

Me? I choose both options and whilst still having fun writing the kind of songs I want to hear, keep one eye on the possibility of spreading my meanderings worldwide, taking the opportunity to embrace new audiences far and wide.

With my latest album FAB BAZ POP (parts 1 & 2 … very important), this philosophy seems to be working and I’m getting feedback that my album is successfully being heard (and downloaded on iTunes, Amazon.com, Spotify and all major download stations worldwide) even in some countries I’d never heard of!

Have a great, safe Christmas and New Year folks, because the future’s so bright for digital entertainment, we’d better get darker shades!

december 2019 / january 2020

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Paul Ridge

So this is Christmas ... ... and what have you done ?

Well, I haven't reviewed any swing albums by Clist celebrities, that's for sure. Instead, we've got a weird and wonderful stocking full of diverse music from both near and a galaxy far, far away .. Of course, that's the real joy of Christmas these days : a new Star Wars film in the cinema!There's jazz from Israel, celtic pop, a neosoul instant classic and some space-prog from this very city.

LIVE METRONOMY Wednesday 6 November 2019, O2 Guildhall, Southampton Having reviewed Metronomy's superb new album, Metronomy Forever, in the last edition of The And Guide, I thought I'd follow it up with a live review this time round as they were in town appearing at the Guildhall. .Given how tight their music sounds on record, it's somewhat surprising to report that their stage performance is a lot looser, a lot funkier and even a touch self-indulgent. That's not necessarily a bad thing in itself as musicians only get the chance to go nuts in a live environment and at times this gig felt more like a club night with a DJ than anything resembling a proper concert. To begin with, songs segued effortlessly together like a mix-tape with barely a word from front man, Joe Mount, as both he and his bass-playing sidekick, Gbenga Adelekan, danced around in the copious space between flanking keyboard set-ups and a raised drumkit at the back of the stage ably controlled by the superb Anna Prior. She reminded me a

I'm expecting an Imperial Star Destroyer to appear over The Firehouse any moment. so let's get cracking, shall we ?

KISS THE GUN

lot of Siouxsie sticksman Budgie in the way she held the sound together like a machine. The trio were beaming throughout and seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves in this, the first leg of their UK tour. They raced through songs from both their latest release and their best known LP, The English Riviera, in the first half of the set and reminded me at times of New Order, Sparks and Kraftwerk as well as throwing loads of new wave and punk influences into the mix. They came up for air after the more laidback and moody Reservoir and Mount threw some banter about Pompey out into the crowd which promptly threatened to turn what had become a very upbeat evening into a spiralling downturn. Amid what I would like to think were mocking boos, he quickly said something along the lines of "I was only joking" and cranked up the pace once again as the band entered into something of an atonal jam session. It was all getting a bit weird when the trio exited stage left, leaving just the duelling keyboards of Oscar Cash & Gabriel Stebbing noodling off against each other. For me this turned out to be the moment of the night as they slowly began to build up their own act, like a pair of Jean Michel Jarre clones trundling their synthesiser banks towards the middle of the stage until they were literally face to face as they closed out the first half of the set together in a massive 80s keyboard crescendo. It was glorious !

They then allowed the song to fade and pulled apart again, retaking their positions to left and right in preparation for the final act of the performance as the full band again reformed in front of us. The Look, Love Letters and the bonkers but brilliant Sex Emoji roused the crowd for the finale - and it was a good, knowledgable crowd too, singing along throughout - which saw the three original members of the band play Upset My Girlfriend, with Mount on acoustic guitar and Cash and Stebbing moodily adding to the sound with their synths. The fivepiece ended the show with a magnificent version of early favourite, Radio Ladio, to rapturous and well-deserved applause.

STUDIO BRITTANY HOWARD Jaime Sometimes, this reviewing lark can be a doddle : you hear something that instantly grabs you by the .. throat and makes you sit up and listen in astonishment. This is one of those times. Brittany Howard has lived a tough life, raised in a junk yard, losing a teenaged sister, a father who left early, then nearly going blind .. and yet, here she is at 31 with her first solo album and it's a masterpiece. She's no ingenue having released group records with both Alabama Shakes and Thunderbitch, but you get the feeling this is her time and she certainly spreads her wings and flies on Jaime (named for the afore-mentioned sister). It's a difficult sound to pin down as there's elements of blues, folk, soul and 60s garage rock, a heavy dose of Prince, some Billie Holiday, Al Green, cynical christianity, quirky wordplay and a scuzzy kind of insistent urgency that is totally unique. Like I said, I sat up and gave it my full attention when I first played it, it's that arresting a combination. There's hammond organ, layered vocals, sampled voices from American history, Lenny Kravitz style vintage studio vibes, and yet a stark innocence too. Take the fantastically evocative Stay High, for example. It starts off with a simple enough strummed acoustic guitar backed at first by a 60s style picked electric bass but that's immediately accompanied by the unique sound of a child's toy piano, the kind of signature statement I've heard only on Charlie Brown cartoons and from The B-52s' Fred Schneider on Dance This Mess Around. I love it, it's so sweet and puerile but it totally works on this gospelly chugger. Howard's vocal range is absurd and at times she sounds more like a man than a woman and yet the next moment she's shrieking as high as a Minnie Riperton. Like all the best singers, her voice is an instrument in itself. Long time readers may have experienced me banging on about a major lost soul talent, British multi-instrumentalist, singer/songwriter, Lewis Taylor and I can feel his influence massively on Jaime, almost as much as Prince, who could have EGO ELLA produced the record, so strong is MAY that

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particular bond - at least in my mind, if not in reality. There's soaring flights of fantasy on Tomorrow, for example, where the band take off and the music is raised to another level. You're brought down to earth immediately afterwards on the Holiday-esque Short And Sweet, with Howard singing solo with her own acoustic guitar. There's plenty of thoughtful lyricism on show on Jaime, whether debating heaven and hell and challenging god, or questioning her own ethnicity - European mother, African father - which clearly marks Howard out as a powerfully independent artist, unafraid to sing about real life rather than go through the motions on someone else's generic love song. Every time I listen to the album I can't help thinking about the future : if she's this good now, imagine how she'll be ten years from now. A major, major talent that needs to be heard - go and buy this record now.

PARKI Spectra

Know The Firehouse in town ? Well, if you do you may have met Rob, alias Parki, the guitar nut behind new album Spectra. In his own words, it's "50 minutes of instrumental prog metal for fans of Haken, BTBAM, Protest The Hero, Tesseract, Native Construct & Devin Townsend". In my own words it's progressive space metal, like a moodily atmospheric scifi soundtrack with brooding synths and powerful guitar solos. Although this kind of thing isn't usually my bag, I did listen to a lot of Yes and Jethro Tull in my teens and having lived with the album for a few days now I think I'd revise my description of Spectra as being a bit like Rush on

steroids. I bloody love it. From the opening, Gary-Numan-meets-Steve-Vai bars of Apparition I was smiling, instantly transported to another world, soaring through the night skies into hyperspace. The chopping guitar, the driving bass, the pounding layer upon layer of harmonising prog rock beauty .. it was almost too much and this was all in the first three minutes.

There's elements of Mike Oldfield in here in the metronomic qualities of the playing and just when you think you've got it down, Parki changes course and swerves into some gentle jazz-guitar sideroads, before rejoining the M1 at top speed again with some out-and-out chug-tastic metal that Metallica themselves would be proud of. Into The Sphere continues the theme before morphing into a Floydian plucked teaser that leads into the third track, The Colour Wheel, which is all churning drumbeats with bass-heavy overlays until a classic metal crescendo closes out the song.

Obscura is a much pacier number, with plenty to keep air guitarists busy as Rob showcases his signature 8-string Strandberg sound. Those Rush comparisons are to the fore on the opening few bars of Mountaintops until Joe Satriani walks in the room and goes into full power-ballad mode. Midway through the track, Jean Michel Jarre finally finds the power socket and gets in on the act, with a whole bank of synths chiming in then as the drummer wakes up the whole studio erupts in a co-ordinated chorus of cacophany, with every element playing its part, bringing the song to its peak with a staccato attack as a finale. Absolutely stunning. There's another three songs on the album all sharing similarly virtuoso performances that add up almost to a space symphony, certainly in feeling if not quite in length. Anyone with an interest in rock music should listen to this fine, fine outing from a massive local talent. Having been handed this to review by our erstwhile editor, I look forward to hearing more from Rob and hopefully seeing Parki perform live. The album is available from their bandcamp page either as a digi download or as a beautifully packaged CD.

SEFI ZISING Expanse Most regular readers will know by now that I'm a big fan of soul, funk and jazz music and as I get older I SKYLARK AND THE SCORPION find I'm really enjoying adding latin

and world flavours to the mix, so the new album by Israeli trumpeter Sefi Zisling was a real treat for me. Expanse is his second LP and showcases Zisling's major influences in legendary saxophonist John Coltrane, funky guitarist Grant Green and longtime James Brown cohort, Fred Wesley. While labelled a jazz album, the music itself is a rich mix of the more soulful acid jazz sound mixed with some heavy funk and a huge slab of Afrobeat, giving the whole a much more global vibe. There's vocals on there too, such as on The Sky Sings, which sounds very much like The Jones Girls of "Nights Over Egypt" fame, as well as a more urban texture on tracks like the hip-hopesque Flip Mode. Remember when The Brand New Heavies made a "live" rap album or when Guru produced a number of crossover records in his Jazzmatazz series ? Well, that's the kind of funky, slightly looser groove we're talking about with Zisling and I really found Expanse a refreshing change from the usual grittier and grimier MOBO sounds that are produced these days.

THE SLOW READERS CLUB Live At The Apollo Sometimes, I get sent stuff from record companies without really knowing much about the artists in question and so it was with this live album. I really only gave it a go because I liked the name of the band and I think this says a lot about my lack of knowledge of the mainstream commercial music scene as it turns out they're quite popular, aren't they ? With something of a cult following, the band have a clear heritage with personnel hailing from various northern groups (like Omerta) and have released three studio LPs and another couple of live recordings already, with this their third out now. A massively enthusiastic crowd always helps provide a better atmosphere and you can tell The Slow Readers Club are most at home on stage, never more so than in their native Manchester. I'd describe the sound as a bit U2, a bit Smiths and a lot stadium singalong indie with the crowd joining in on pretty much every number. Standouts include Lunatic, One More Minute, Plant The Seed and Cavalcade, while the long and boisterous set closes out with Lost In Your Gaze, I Saw a Ghost and On The TV.

MARTHA'S MAN Can't Trust A Liar Another local artist going by the name of Martha's Man closes this issue with a new single (sorry mate I moved it, making the page look nice an’ all that. Ed), Can't Trust A Liar.

It's an uptempo slice of energetic guitar pop, with an anthemic, armsin-the-air-as-you-pogo quality. Catchy is another good word for this one.

"Don't give your heart, to throw it away" is the recurring refrain that I can imagine a thousand fans screaming at the top of their lungs, such is the instant appeal of the song. I don't have much more to tell you than that other than you can find out more on the Facebook page and check out more Martha's Man music on the YouTube channel.

CATTLE & CANE Navigator Hailing from the north-east, Cattle & Cane are a five-piece outfit comprised of singer-songwriter Joseph Hammill and three of his siblings, sister Helen (vocals), brothers Fran and Vin (guitar and bass respectively) and the non-family drummer, Tom Chapman. When I first played the album I made some notes as usual and wrote down the words "hookladen celtic anthemic pop" and yet when I did some research on them found they were invariably described as a folk band. Well, maybe folk music has moved on and I just haven't been keeping up with it, but to me they sound a bit like what used to be called AOR (adult-oriented rock) in the US, a sub-genre that included the likes of Fleetwood Mac, Toto and 10CC. In one interview I read with the band, they cited the latter and Steely Dan as influences so I'm feeling pretty smug as I write this. What do those folk writers know anyway ?

Navigator opens with the incredibly catchy singalong Neighbourhood, which is the kind of mid-tempo headnodder that goes down well in the car until you find yourself belting out the chorus at the traffic lights with

the windows down and people on the street staring open-mouthed.

Lead single Mexico is up next and if you only listen to one song from the album this is probably the best to give you an idea of the flavour of their music. Joe Hammill has a cultured, slightly raspy voice and he knows how to use it and while there's nothing particularly new or original about Cattle & Cane, they're ultra-professional with a well-produced sound and what they do is wholesome, organic pop music for grown-ups. It's not fluffy chart fodder and nor is it plodding Lighthouse Family generic muzac by numbers either. What makes them stand out comes in the form of the family of voices either harmonising naturally together or when Helen takes the lead, such as on Lonely Room and Hurts Like Real Love. Her voice just lends a different colour to their palette and opens up their sound and once the four of them are in unison it's taken to another level : think midperiod ELO playing with The Corrs.

On second thoughts, don't - that sounds awful. Cattle & Cane sound great. There are moments of modern country too, which is possibly where the folksy side has been noted by others, such as on the uptempo Leave The Light On with its rousing refrain "Someday soon, I'll come back for you" which I found stuck in my head for days after first hearing it.

Ballad lovers will be happy with some of the moodier numbers on the album, like Loving The Hurt Away SKYLARK AND THE song, SCORPION which could be a Gary Barlow or closing track Lion Or The Lamb, which questions "Is this who I am ? I don't understand : am I the lion or am I the lamb ?" Having been on the scene for a number of years now, supporting the likes of Brian Wilson, Stereophonics, Lewis Capaldi and Tom Odell, this, their third album, could see Cattle & Cane break out and reach a wider audience at last.

NOTICE If you think your band might be worth covering, head to our Facebook page: facebook.com/theandguide say “hello” and give us the details of your next gig, album, website, etc and we'll see what we can do.

Veronique pictured centre with assistants Ellie (left) and Holly (right)

Meet Veronique ...

OUR NEW PASTRY COLUMNIST After training as a chef at award winning 5 Flies Restaurant in Cape Town, Eastleigh’s Veronique Viljoen, looked to broaden her experience with a move to the UK; working her way up to head pastry chef at Portsmouth’s Langstone Hotel which gained 2 rosettes, with further recognition at Garage Lounge which became an award winning independent café while she was head baker.

Passionate about pastries, many of us will already know her cakes at Portsmouth’s famous Tenth Hole.

Now as owner of her own café at Lakeside Steam Railway, she’s looking forward to bringing her love of the sweeter things to Eastleigh and Southampton. After all … as Veronique says, “Calories … should be as yummy as possible!”

AND with yummy in mind, why not try her gorgeous festive slice recipe below?

Easy to make, or for the culinary challenged, on sale at her Lakeside Cafe.

Lakeside Festive Slice Why don’t you celebrate in style with some of these spicy sweet bites, the sugar will keep you awake in case some bearded man tries sliding down your chimney in the middle of the night to pilfer your baked goods.

YOU WILL NEED: 260g Butter 110g Caster Sugar 370g Plain Flour 250g raisins 380g currants 100ml of Brandy (plus a little to swig) 2tsp mixed spice 1tsp nutmeg 300g shredded suet 250g dark brown sugar 85g chopped mixed peel 1 speaker 1 grater 1 baking tray Some baking paper (AND if you cant be bothered to make your own mincemeat, then 3 jars will do.)

METHOD: • Place speaker somewhere it won’t get messy and start blaring some Christmassy tunes, take that swig of brandy from your glass and let’s get baking • Grab a bowl and put all the fruits with 100ml brandy, set aside and allow to soak for 1hr • In the meantime warm the oven to 160 degrees

• Dump the rest of the shortbread in the tray and press it down covering the whole tray, bake this for 20min until light golden brown then remove tray from the oven • Drain the mincemeat or if you’ve bought jars this is the time to open them up, place mincemeat onto the shortbread spreading it all evenly, grab the grater and grate that shortbread you set aside to cover the top, place back into the oven for another 20min • Have another swig of Brandy and start cleaning up.

• Once traybake is baked remove and allow to cool completely, if you want to get fancy then sprinkle some icing sugar on top, cut into squares, rectangles or whatever shapes you’d like and serve.

Lakeside Cafe, Wide Lane, Eastleigh SO50 5PE Tel: 07805 390261

• Throw the butter in a mixing bowl, whisk until smooth, add the caster sugar until a light and fluffy mix is formed

Call now for buffets, boardroom teas and parties.

• Slowly add the flour to the mix (adding the flour too quickly will result in a flour cloud forming all over the kitchen) mix until shortbread is formed

eastleighlakesidecafe@gmail.com facebook.com/thelakesidecafeeastleigh/ www.steamtrain.co.uk

• Take your baking tray and put some baking paper at the bottom of the tray to stop everything from sticking then grab a handful of the shortbread and put it aside

Opening Hours: 8:30 - 4:30 Mon - Sun

We’ve got our tickets!

Have you got yours?

Office Party? Girls Night Out? or just love funk! - Get Ahead Of The Festive Rush!

A night to relive the finest Soul, Funk, Motown, Disco & Reggae of the last 4 decades! Live Music from one of the UK’s finest funk covers bands ... Southampton’s very own “The Wonderband” with support from two top local DJ’s. advance Tickets: £10 on the door Tickets: £15 Group Booking Discounts Available Ticketline: 07393 822008 Visit: the1865.com/events/revival-presents-thank-funk-its-christmas

GOOD NEWS! We have extended our BLACK FRIDAY OFFERS for the month of December!

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The AND Guide to: Finding a GREAT BREAKFAST!

To make sure you’re in the next one email me at:

Apparrently our most talked about feature ... STILL! Which makes me wonder if I should sack everybody? This started as a moan.

Me whinging about not knowing more than a couple of decent places to get a decent breakfast... at breakfast time!

In time I hope to include everywhere locally that serves a decent breakfast. But if you’re not here my apologies, its down to one of 7 things: it’s a beer, you didn’t tell me, I don’t know about you, I don’t think its any good, I forgot, or you won’t give me a breakfast in exchange (research) Ed :), or it doesn’t stock The AND Guide.

SOUTHAMPTON

theandguide@mail.com

YELLOW WELLY, SHAMROCK QUAY

UPTONS OF BASSETT 351 Winchester Rd, Southampton SO16 7DJ 023 8039 3959 STAKKS PANCAKE HOUSE Marlands Centre (Upstairs), Southampton SO14 7SJ 023 8178 3660 CAFE CREME 31 Bedford Place, Southampton SO15 2DG 023 8023 6616 ROMANOS 4 Canute Road, Southampton SO14 3FH 023 8033 7644

ROMANOS, CANUTE RD

GENTING CLUB (12AM - 3AM) Terminus Terrace, Southampton SO14 3FE 023 8058 1872 KATE'S CAFE LOUNGE 227 Portswood Road, Southampton SO15 2NF 023 8058 1872 OZZY CAFE Harley Davidson, Heritage House, Second Avenue Southampton SO15 0LP RIVERSIDE DINER 13 Manor Farm Rd, Southampton SO18 1NN 023 8067 7569 SCHOLARS ARMS 130-132 Above Bar Street, Southampton SO14 7DU Tel: 02380 225 464

HIDDEN CAFE, RIVER STUDIOS, TOTTON

LAKESIDE CAFE, EASTLEIGH

THE HEATH Beaulieu Rd, Dibden Purlieu, Southampton SO45 5PW 023 8084 2275 NICE NOSH 50 Rumbridge Street, Totton SO40 9DS 023 8087 0242 THE PILGRIM INN Hythe Road, Southampton SO40 4WU 023 8086 7752 THE HIDEAWAY 183 Hampton Lane, Blackfield 074 2907 86617 CAFE PARISIAN 64 High St, Lyndhurst SO43 7BJ 023 8028 4546 HOCKEY’S FARM SHOP CAFE South Gorley, Fordingbridge SP6 2PW (8am - 6pm) 01425 652542 EAST THE FORUM DELI Solent Busines park, Whiteley, Fareham PO15 7AD BAKERY Whiteley Shopping, Whiteley, Fareham PO15 7PD 01489 564 445 THE ALMA (from 9am) Alma Lane, Upham SO32 1HE COFFEE HOUSE High street, Bishops Waltham SO32 1AA 01489 896990 VINEYS WHOLESOME FOOD 6 High Street, Botley SO30 2EA 01489 797781

JACKPOT CAFE Portswood Road, Southampton SO17 2TD 023 8032 2079

RETRO CAFE 34 Bedford Place, Southampton SO15 2DG 0782 890 8382

WOOLSTON CAFE 40 Portsmouth Road, Woolston SO19 9AD 023 8044 0918

KAT’S KAFE 5 High St, Eastleigh SO50 5LB 023 8178 1211

THE DOLPHIN (FROM 10AM) High Street, Botley 01489 782014

METTRICKS GUILDHALL From 7:30 Mon-Fri, 9am Sat/Sun 1 Guildhall Place, Guildhall Square, Southampton SO14 7DU Tel: 02380 710583

THE FLYING DUTCHMAN 13-14 Terminus Terrace, Southampton SO14 3DT 023 8033 5069

PIGGYS 26 Victoria Road, Woolston SO19 9DX 023 8178 2059

THE COFFEE CORNER Boyatt Shopping Centre, Eastleigh SO50 4QP 023 8061 4654

THE BOAT HOUSE CAFE Swanwick Marina, Swanwick SO31 1ZL 01489 885745

SAUCE 27-29 Queensway, Southampton SO14 3BL 07450 265944

ANNIES CAFE 14 Portsmouth Road, Woolston SO19 9AA 023 8042 1200

THE WAGON WORKS 28 Southampton Road, Eastleigh SO50 9F 023 8062 2670

PARKLIFE CAFE 133 Church St, Southampton SO15 5LW 023 8077 9763

CENTRAL COFFEE Central Hall, St Mary Street, Southampton SO14 1NF

ASDA Bournemouth Road, Eastleigh SO53 3YJ

THE VILLAGE BAKERY & TEA ROOM 48 Warsash Road, Warsash SO31 9JA 01489 574747

WHITE SWAN Mansbridge Road, West End, Southampton SO18 3HW 023 8047 3322

CONCORDE CLUB, Stoneham Lane, Eastleigh SO50 9HQ 023 8061 3989

EASTLEIGH & NORTH

ROMSEY

METTRICKS WOOLSTON 8 Centenery Plaza, Woolston, Southampton SO19 9UE 023 8084 6176 SWEET CORNER CAFE 19-23 Commercial Road, Southampton SO15 1GF 023 8082 9189 SIDEWALK SOUTH 24 High Street, Southampton SO14 2DF 023 8022 2323

HALLADAYS TEA ROOMS 6 Bedford Place, Southampton SO15 2DB 023 8078 6921

CXO Nelson Gate, Frobisher House, Southampton SO15 1GX 023 8023 8181

THE RETRO DINER 281 Shirley Road, Southampton SO15 3HT 023 8078 6921

LAKESIDE CAFE Lakeside Railway Country Park, Eastleigh SO50 5PE 023 8061 2020

ADMIRAL SIR LUCIUS CURTIS Canutes Pavilion, City Centre, Southampton SO14 3JS 023 8038 8940

CAFE REFLECTIONS 25 Shirley High Street, Southampton SO15 3NL 023 8077 8878

HAM FARM HARVESTER Twyford Rd, Eastleigh 023 8061 9181

CAFFE MOMENTO Unit 2 Guildhall Square, Southampton SO14 7FP 023 8023 3717

GEORGE'S CAFE & RESTAURANT 9 Church Street, Shirley, Southampton SO15 5LG

SPEEDY’S BURGER BAR School Lane, Chandlers Ford SO53 4DG 07830 118402

CAFE FUMEE 73 High Street, Southampton S014 2NW 023 8033 8333 THE SQUARE ARTISAN CAFÉ 157-187 Above Bar Street, Southampton SO14 7NN 023 8031 9007 WHITE STAR TAVERN, Oxford Street Southampton SO14 3DJ0 023 8082 1990

SAINSBURYS HEDGE END Tollbar Way, Hedge End SO30 2Uh SAINSBURYS SHIRLEY 1 Redcar Street, Southampton SO15 5LL

PETER GREEN COFFEE SHOP School Lane, Chandlers Ford SO53 4DG 023 8026 9011

SAINSBURY'S PORTSWOOD 224 Portswood Road, Southampton SO17 2LB

BAY LEAVES LARDER 87-91 Hiltingbury Road, Chandlers Ford SO53 5NQ 023 8025 2310

THE YELLOW WELLY Shamrock Quay, SO14 5QL 023 8022 3535

HURSLEY CAFE 4 Hursley Road, Chandlers Ford, SO53 2FU 023 8025 2550

CAFE FRESH 9 Market Place Romsey SO51 8NB 01794 522602 THAT LITTLE TEA SHOP 48a The Hundred, Romsey SO51 8BX 01794 519852 THE CROMWELL ARMS PUB & HOTEL Mainstone, Romsey SO51 8HG 01794 519515 NICOLA'S TEA SHOP 8 Latimer Street, Romsey SO51 8DG 01794 523009 WEST HIDDEN CAFE Black Room Studios, Winsor Road, Totton SO40 9HQ 023 8065 8373 BIG BLUE CAFE New Forest Enterprise Centre, Chapel Lane, Totton SO40 9LA 023 8066 6608

BERT & ERNIE’S CAFE & TEAROOM Unit 8, Shedfield Nursery & Equestrian, Botley Road, Shedfield SO32 2HN THE NAVIGATOR 286 Bridge Road, Lower Swanwick SO31 7EB 01489 572123 JENNY’S CAFE High Street, Hamble-le-Rice SO31 4HA 023 8045 5771 THE BUS STOP CAFE Hound Farm Hound Road, Netley Abbey SO31 5FS TESCO Hamble Lane, Bursledon, Southampton SO31 8GN LILLY'S TEA & COFFEE HOUSE The Square, Wickham, Fareham PO17 5JQ 01329 830305 WESTLANDS FARM SHOP Westlands Farm, Pricketts Hill, Shedfield SO32 2JW 01329 833832 COAST TO COAST (FROM 9AM) Unit 4, Shopping, Whitely, Fareham PO15 7PD FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD 164a Southampton Road, Fareham, PO14 4PP 01489 589056

WIN a copy of this incredible factopedia of a book on the mighty saints!

This is a Saints book for Southampton Football Club anoraks. It may indeed be THE Saints book for Southampton Football Club anoraks.

Painstakingly researched by Bob Pundit, every single page is crammed full of facts, figures, statistics and interesting ... even essential, ... history.

A little taste ... did you know Southampton Football Club is one of the older clubs in English football? Older than Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and Newcastle. In the professional era, they were the first club in the south of England to reach the FA Cup Final and out of the 145 clubs that have competed in the English Football League up to 2019/20, only 52 of them are older than the Saints. They are founder members of the Southern League Division One, Football League Division Three (twice),

Football League Division Three South and The Premier League. Since 1966, Southampton FC has completed 42 seasons in the top flight of English football. Out of the 55 clubs that have competed in England's top division during this time, only nine clubs can better this achievement.

In the Club's 134 year history they have only been relegated on four occasions. Only three clubs that have competed in the top flight of English football have suffered fewer relegations than this.

In this publication you can follow the club's season story from their founding as St Mary's Young Men's Association FC in 1885 up to the Saints 2018/19 Premier League campaign. You can also compare the club's record with our fiercest rivals Portsmouth Football Club. Key dates and events from football's history are also included to highlight Southampton FC's role in the development of the game, with few references about indi-

vidual players and officials because this publication is about the club and its role in the development of Association Football and the beautiful game ... which is surprisingly significant.

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All you have to do is answer this little teaser of a Saints question and get the answer to us by 6pm Friday December 20th to be in the draw to win one in time for Christmas.

Question: What position did Ted Bates play?

Email your answers to theandguide@mail.com

EX-SAINTS PAGE PROUDLY SPONSORED BY:

december 2019 / january 2020

KIDS; Can you find which ex-saint found his way from ‘The Dell’ to St Mary’s?

Yes theyre hard to see ... its a game!

THE DELL & ST MARY’S CARTOONS BY SAM

Start at the player! Nobody likes a cheat!

A SEASONAL SHORT STORY

Christmas is a time for family and friends, for laughter and love and also for reflection, for count-

introduced by Paul Ridge

ing your blessings and even for tears for those we miss. It's also a time of magic for many of us, young and old, and for maintaining traditions and

If You Believe

keeping a sense of wonder about this very special time of year.

Here at AND Towers we live to showcase up-andcoming talent and with all of the above in mind, we're proud to present the debut short story from a new writer based in Southampton called Eileen Dixon. It's highly evocative and full of the spirit of Christmas. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

by Eileen Dixon

‘Tis the season to be jolly, Fa La La …

Yeah, whatever, thought Kate. She hit the off button on the car radio, silencing the jingle. She absentmindedly played with her ear-ring as she watched the tired, strained faces of the Christmas shoppers, huddled in their coats, hats on and collars up against the cold.

They streamed past the taxi rank where she sat waiting for a fare.

“They all look so jolly, more like the season where everyone gets stressed, spends what they haven’t got, and lies to their kids,” she muttered.

Kate’s Christmas shopping was done. Money in envelopes to some and gift vouchers…

“Kate, are you still on the rank?” the disembodied voice of the radio operator cut through her thoughts, making her jump.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Kate answered.

“I’ve got a request for a woman driver at eleven, are you able to do that?”

“Yeah, sure Jan. Beats sitting here freezing.” Kate glanced at the clock, ten-thirty, may as well make a move. She started the engine, turning the heater to full. “What’s the address?”

“The Everglades, on Armstrong Avenue. Do you know it?”

Jan asked.

“Yep, I’ll start making my way over there,” Kate said.

“Fabulous. You’re picking up a little girl and taking her to her Grandparents in West End somewhere, they’ll give you the address when you get there.”

“Thanks, Jan,” Kate said as she guided the car off the taxi rank and into the stream of traffic. It had been a slow day so far and she was glad to be on the move even if it meant a few dead miles to get her fare. At least she had the warmth from the engine thawing her out.

She took a slow drive through the city, thinking about the holiday she had booked in January. She always worked through the Christmas holidays when there were fewer taxis on the road and more money to be made. In January, when all the other cabbies came back and were sat around doing nothing, she would be on a beach and that, in Kate’s mind, was the only good thing about all this Christmas malarkey.

Kate arrived outside the Everglades five minutes early.

The big, black, wrought iron gates were closed, barring entry to the driveway but no sooner had she stopped the car, the heavy gates swung slowly inwards. How the other half live, she thought as she crunched across the gravel and pulled up outside the front door.

A small girl bounded out of the front door as soon as it was open, her short blonde hair bouncing on her head, a pink rucksack bouncing on her back and a big smile on her face. Kate couldn’t help but smile back.

“I’m Georgia,” the girl said.

“Hi, Georgia, I’m Kate.” She got out and walked towards the back of the car, then took the small suitcase off the woman who had followed Georgia out of the house and who, going by the smile, was undoubtedly Georgia’s Mother. Kate packed the case away in the boot and slammed it shut.

“Am I allowed to sit in the front?” Georgia asked. Kate looked over her head at maxi-me who nodded.

“Of course, you’re my co-driver,” Kate said, opening the passenger door.

Georgia struggled out of her rucksack, handed it to her Mother and climbed in.

“This is the address, I’ll call and tell them you’re on the way,” the lady gave her a piece of paper. Kate looked at it

and nodded. “And that should be enough to cover the fare,” she said handing over £25. “If not, her Grandparents will give you the rest.” She put the rucksack on the floor by her daughters’ feet.

“That should be plenty,” Kate said.

She slid into the driver’s seat while Mum put Georgia’s seat-belt on and fussed over the goodbyes, then they were on their way, waving as the big gates closed behind them.

Georgia wriggled in her seat and chatted non-stop, mostly about school and her friends from school. She smelt of washing powder and vanilla, both a welcome change from alcohol and stale tobacco on many of her punters. Kate couldn’t help but like her and every time she glanced over, there was that big grin. Then Georgia changed the subject.

“Are you looking forward to Christmas?” She asked.

Kate had been expecting Christmas questions and had been thinking about how she was going to answer without coming across as a grinch.

She remembered looking forward to Christmas until she was about ten, about the same age as Georgia was now actually, and then she remembered why she stopped. Kate thought back to her childhood. She knew she’d been lucky.

Her parents hadn’t been rich but her younger days had been full of laughter and she had loads of treasured memories especially from the special occasions like birthdays and of course, Christmas. “Well, sort of,” Kate skirted the question. “I’ll be working though,” Kate shrugged as though it was an inconvenience and not a choice.

“What about your children?” Georgia asked, horrified at the thought of her own parents not being there on Christmas day.

“I don’t have any children yet. How long are you staying with your Grandparents?” Kate tried to steer the conversation back to comfortable.

“Only until Sunday.” She talked away about the Grandparents, where they lived and their two dogs, Buster and Buddy. Kate tuned out here and there while she dealt with hazards on the road, then suddenly realised Georgia had gone quiet. She glanced over. The ever-present smile was gone and the little girl was chewing her lip.

“You okay?” Kate asked.

The girl nodded but the frown stayed. “I don’t think he’s real,” she said quietly.

“Who?” Kate already knew ‘who’ but wanted time to think about her answer.

Her parents’ biggest rule was not lying. The young Kate would get into more trouble from lying than owning up to doing wrong, so naturally, she believed everything they said, including the bits about flying reindeer and a bearded man in a red suit.

“Father Christmas,” came the expected reply.

“What makes you think that?” Kate tried to sound noncommittal.

“I went in my Mum’s bedroom and accidentally saw some boxes. They had presents in that I’d asked Santa for, but they had labels with our address on them,” she looked at me to see if I’d understood the significance of this information. “You know, like they’d been delivered by the postman.”

So here it was. The question that Kate had dodged for all these years from nephews and nieces. Suddenly she was ten years old and back in the playground with a group of friends excitedly discussing Christmas.

“My Mum thinks I still believe in Santa Claus,” Trina Madsen said, rolling her eyes. The others laughed, except Kate.

“I have to play along for my little sister, but my Mum knows I know,” Stephanie Sharp chimed in. “My brother told me a couple of years ago and my Mum went mad at him.”

They all started telling the tale of how they discovered Father Christmas didn’t exist. Kate listened, her little hands balled into fists by her side, her face as red as Santa’s apparently imaginary suit from a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

‘He does exist,’ she wanted to yell at them. ‘My Mum and Dad say so and they don’t tell lies.’ But they all seemed so sure. ‘What if they’re right? But they can’t be, lying is wrong.’ Kate was so confused.

She had walked slowly home from school that day trying to come up with a plan so she could find out the truth one way or the other but, in the end, she’d just blurted it out as soon as she walked in.

“Mum, Trina and the others, they say Santa isn’t real,” she’d expected her mum to be as shocked as she herself was but as she looked at her Mum’s face, she saw a battle going on.

Finally, her Mum said “Well I guess we couldn’t keep you believing forever.” She smiled but she looked a little sad at the same time.

A car horn broke into her thoughts, alerting her to the now green traffic light. Kate put up a hand in apology and moved off.

Georgia must be seeing that same conflict right now in her own face, Kate thought. She looked at the little girl, felt the big blue eyes earnestly searching her face for clues. Kate remembered crying for the rest of that night and probably the next one too.

She looked around as though checking no-one could hear her.

“No, silly,” Kate told Georgia. “Santa is so busy on Christmas Eve and has so many presents to deliver that sometimes, for special people, he sends them early. His elves aren't as clever as Santa so that’s why they have your address on them, It’s so your Mum can help out by wrapping them.”

Slowly, the furrows in Georgia’s brow smoothed out. The smile returned. The wide, gap-toothed grin spread across her face until it was sparkling in her eyes. Kate grinned back.

“He’s real?”

Kate nodded. “He’s real.”

As long as you want him to be, you’ve just got to believe, she thought to herself. She had seen how badly Georgia had wanted it to be true, how non-belief had threatened to take the joy of Christmas. That one little fib had brought magic and sparkle to the little girl’s hopeful eyes and after more than two decades, she finally understood and forgave her parents for the lie.

By the time they pulled up outside 5 Acacia Gardens, she was the girl who had fizzed out of her front door and into the car. Kate retrieved the case from the boot and after assuring the grandparents she’d been paid enough she said her goodbyes. She climbed back into the car and winked at Georgia who winked back, albeit with both eyes, making Kate laugh. Her own words came back to her. ‘He’s real as long as you want him to be.’

As she drove away, Kate picked up her mic.

“Zero three,” she said.

“Go ahead, Kate,” came the reply.

“Jan I’m going to log off for a while. I’ve got some Christmas shopping to do.”

FILM GUIDE Our selection of great movies to look out for over the next few months!

THE LONDON HOTEL, 2 TERMINUS TERRACE, SOUTHAMPTON SO14 3DT

023 8071 0652 www.the-london.co.uk

SOUTHAMPTON’S PREMIER ROCK/METAL BAR! Upstairs bar open & £2 Jägerbombs every Fri/Sat night!

What’s On @ The London FRIDAY Frolics with DJ and Cabaret DECEMBER 6th DJ Neil & Miss Penny 13th DJ Lucinda and Elsie Crumpet 20th DJ Lucinda & Eva Iglesias 27th DJ Lucinda & Davina Sparkle JANUARY 3rd DJ Claire and Miss Penny 10th DJ Neil & Louis Cyfer 17th DJ Claire & tba 24th DJ Neil & Poppycock 31st DJ Claire & Davina Sparkle

3 POOL TABLES (50P PLAY) & THE LOUDEST JUKEBOX IN THE CITY!

LIVE MUSIC LISTINGS

SATURDAYS is Guilty Pleasures with DJs SUNDAY NIGHTS on the London Podium Drag Cabaret DECEMBER 8th The Drag With No Name 15th Lola Lasagne 22nd Rose Garden 29th Cherry Liquor JANUARY 5th Cherry Liquor 12th Vileda Moppe 19th DR Bev 26th TBA 2nd Lucinda Lashes

DESOLATOR 24th January

CROSS BREED 25th January

XMAS EVE Pat Clutcher

FIREHOUSE, VINCENTS WALK, SOUTHAMPTON SO14 1JY

NEW YEAR’S EVE

Bar Telephone: 07938 019 123 Bar Email: firehouse.southampton@gmail.com Bookings Email: head.on.promotions@gmail.com

DJ Claire & Allan Jay Ticket event £10 | Theme Red and Wild!

OPEN: Mon - Thu: 12pm - Late / Fri & Sat: 12pm - Late / Sun: 12pm - 12am ( Firehouse is a strictly 18+ venue after 6pm! )

DECEMBER Sat 7th Womenowar + Hanowar Two groups of true metal warriors join forces for their Tragic Circle tour! £3 ADV/£5 OTD Fri 13th Stone Free A fantastic 3-piece 70’s psychedelic/rock band!

Sat 14th Subdued An eclectic mix of rock covers and originals!

Fri 20th - The Ace Trio The local rockabilly/rock’n’roll heroes return!

Sat 21st Band TBA Tue 31st FIREHOUSE NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY Come welcome 2020 with live music from London rockers The Bite! £5 ADV / £10 OTD JANUARY Sat 11th Cuckooland Superb blues/rock covers band!

Sat 18th Band TBA Fri 24th Desolator + support TBA Southampton speed-thrashers make a highly anticipated return to our stage!

Sat 25th Cross Breed A fantastic metal covers group playing their Firehouse debut! *PLUS* DJ Davey Boy's 'Radioactive' in the upstairs bar!

Fri 31st Band TBA

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LIST ?

WANT TO BE ON THE PLAY If we like it, its just £25. buy it.

If we don’t like it ... you can’t

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YOUR BAND NOT HERE? So how many gigs will you miss out on then?

PLUS... as a ‘thank you’ we’ll put you at the front of the queue for a review.

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The AND Guide Diary: The best listings in the South!

LEGEND

DECEMBER 2019

MUSIC

MONDAY 2ND TURNER SIMS THEATRE Chris Potter Circuits Trio Lunchtime Concert: Southampton Showcase

SPORT

SUNDAY 1ST

ART

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jools Holland and Orchestra

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

TURNER SIMS THEATRE A Concert Band Christmas 2019

PLAZA THEATRE Shush

O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Gym Gala

THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ Milton Jones

THE CONCORDE CLUB Lionel! - Tribute / Solent City Jazzman

1865, SOTON Southampton Ukulele Jam

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT COMEDY SHOWS NIGHTCLUBS JUST CHILDREN ANTIQUES & FAYRES MARKETS & CAR BOOTS OTHER EVENTS

ROMSEY ABBEY The Honeypot Carol Service

PLEASE NOTE. We have tried to ensure entries are correct, but If we’ve got the odd one wrong, sorry... The AND Guide cannot accept any responsibility for inaccuracies. Some require tickets in advance. We advise telephoning the appropriate venue beforehand on all occasions.

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

FREE ENTRY in the AND Diary!

HEARTBREAKERS This Feeling

TUESDAY 3RD

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Nativity! The Musical

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Royal Marines Collingwood Band

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical

PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance

TURNER SIMS THEATRE The Gregg School Christmas Concert

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Chris Collins Blues Band

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ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON Cavetown + MXMTOON THE JOINERS, SOTON Lady Bird / Fontaines D.C

PAVILION, B’MTH Tea Dance GUILDHALL, POMPEY Deeps SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

THE STAGE DOOR ‘Baaa’ Humbug!

MASKERS THEATRE Flint Street Nativity

HEARTBREAKERS Vinnie Caruana

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Blackadder’s Christmas Carol

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

BIC, B’MTH Ibiza Classics

ROMSEY ABBEY Barton Peveril Choral Concert

PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance

PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Richie Quain

GUILDHALL, POMPEY Emeli Sande

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Skinny Lister

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

PORTSMOUTH FC V Northampton Town - H

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Holiday Inn / Wild Rose

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Blackadder’s Christmas Carol PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE The Wedding Present LONDON RD BREWHOUSE Disney Sing Along MASKERS THEATRE Flint Street Nativity THE PLATFORM Gaslight Sessions

AFC BOURNEMOUTH V Crystal Palace - A

SAINTS FC V Norwich City - H

FRIDAY 6TH

EASTLEIGH FC V Wrexham - H

1865, SOTON John Cooper Clarke

AFC TOTTON V Alresford - H

MASKERS THEATRE Flint Street Nativity

THE GEORGE, P’MTH Chicago 9

THURSDAY 5TH

MASKERS THEATRE Flint Street Nativity

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Nativity! The Musical

WEDNESDAY 4TH

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical Wow! Said The Owl

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Nativity! The Musical NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical TURNER SIMS THEATRE Wessex Cancer Trust Christmas Celebration

TURNER SIMS THEATRE London Mozart Players Chamber Ensemble BERRY TH’RE Jack and the Beanstalk PLAZA, ROMSEY Shush

PLAZA, ROMSEY Shush

O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Adam Ant

PLAZA, ROMSEY Shush

O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON S.S.M.A Christmas Carol Concert

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Carols at The Kings

O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON S.S.M.A Christmas Carol Concert

THE CONCORDE CLUB The Big Chris Barber Band

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Mark Thomas

THE CONCORDE CLUB Christmas Quiz & Curry

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail HANGER FARM ARTS Meet Me in St. Louis / The Silver Beatles

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

MARWELL ZOO Christmas at Marwell Wonderland

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

HANGER FARM ARTS New Forest Guitar Night

THE JOINERS, SOTON Johnny Lloyd

1865, SOTON Fontaines D.C.

HANGER FARM ARTS ShooShooBaby’s Christmas Cabaret

MARWELL ZOO Christmas at Marwell Wonderland

STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Crossbreed

AGEAS BOWL, W/E A Vegas Christmas

THE JOINERS, SOTON Spinn + Flowvers

THE BROOK, SOTON SAS Band

GAEITY BAR, S/SEA Stacey Mogg

ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON Skid Row ++

STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto

1865, SOTON Sheelanagig

THE PLATFORM Steve Picken & The Rea Raj

THE JOINERS, SOTON Vinnie Caruana / Wstr

THE BROOK, SOTON SAS Band

THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Christmas Show - meet the artists

MANGO THAI Andy Urquhart - Modern Jazz

THE BROOK, SOTON Trantric

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Gojo Big Band

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Nativity! The Musical NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl TURNER SIMS THEATRE Nikki Yeoh & Zoe Rahman Duo BERRY TH’RE Jack and the Beanstalk PLAZA, ROMSEY Shush O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Dweezil Zappa THE CONCORDE CLUB Lunch Christmas party with Tom Canning as Tom Jones/ Nicola Maries as Lady Gaga / Abba Rival as Abba Tributes to Madness and Showaddywaddy ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail HANGER FARM ARTS The 39 Steps - A Live Radio Drama THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ Ed Gamble: Blizzard THE JOINERS, SOTON Aldous Harding / Southcoast Hardcore STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto THE BROOK, SOTON Limehouse Lizzy 1865, SOTON Aldous Harding THE RAILWAY, W’CH Mark Morriss NEW FOREST INN, ASHURST Somethin’ Else BLUE FUNNEL Christmas Party Cruise

CURTIS STIGERS LIVE IN CONCERT

TUESDAY 10 DECEMBER 2019 Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane

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www.theconcordeclub.com

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Blackadder’s Christmas Carol PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance/Cirque du Soleil in Virtual Reality PYRAMIDS, P’MTH Band of Skulls THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Jo Burt NEW THEATRE ROYAL, P’MTH Knees Up! GUILDHALL, POMPEY Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood DOLPHIN ST DENYS Crackling Jack GIORGIO’S, B’WALTHAM Stacey Mogg MASKERS THEATRE Flint Street Nativity THE PLATFORM Platform Posse SATURDAY 7TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Nativity! The Musical NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl TURNER SIMS THEATRE Suso Winter Concert BERRY TH’RE Jack and the Beanstalk PLAZA, ROMSEY Shush THE CONCORDE CLUB Christmas Lunch with The Greatest Showman plus meet Santa Nicola Marie as Madonna Movie The Night Away ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail MANOR FARM C/P Christmas on The Farm HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail Artful Christmas Weekend HANGER FARM ARTS Per Piacere Chamber Orchestra BOTLEIGH GRANGE, H/E Abbalicious ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON Temples THE JOINERS, SOTON So Skate Zine Launch Party!

THE LOFT Stray From The Path FIREHOUSE Womenowar & Hanowar STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto THE BROOK, SOTON Hairforce 5 1865, SOTON The Dualers THE SWAN, WOOLSTON The Young Blades THE RAILWAY, W’CH Grohlercoaster NEW FOREST INN, ASHURST Breakfast with Santa BLUE FUNNEL Christmas Lunch Cruise Christmas Party Cruise MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON Tudor House Christmas Christmas Lantern Tour ROMSEY ABBEY George’s Trust Christmas Concert C/F CENTRAL CLUB Maybe Oasis FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Blackadder’s Christmas Carol BIC, B’MTH The Australian Pink Floyd PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance / Cirque du Soleil in Virtual Reality / Aladdin

PYRAMIDS, P’MTH Bastille THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Jimmy Hill Billies WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Killing Morton

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood SAINTS FC V Newcastle Utd - A THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Bifrost

PYRAMIDS, P’MTH A Night at the Darts

GAEITY BAR, S/SEA Stacey Mogg

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Helen Hardy Band

THE PLATFORM Steve Brooks

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Dreadzone

MANGO THAI Matt Findlay - Modern Jazz

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

THE HOP INN, SOTON RU40

LOCOMOTIVE ENGINEERS CL Toast

MONDAY 9TH

PORTSMOUTH FC V Peterborough Utd - H AFC BOURNEMOUTH V Liverpool - H EASTLEIGH FC V Ebbsfleet Utd - H AFC TOTTON V Mangotsfield Utd - A MASKERS THEATRE Flint Street Nativity THE PLATFORM Pete Harris Blues Band MANGO THAI REtro & Vintage tunes CHAPPEL SESSIONS, NETLEY Daisy Chapman DUKE OF WELLINGTON Shamrock Keys SUNDAY 8TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical Wow! Said The Owl THE CONCORDE CLUB An Evening with Merrill Osmond John Maddocks Jazzmen ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail MANOR FARM C/P Christmas on The Farm HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail Artful Christmas Weekend

PLAZA, ROMSEY Cruise Into Christmas ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail HANGER FARM ARTS Movie Monday: Fantastic Beasts MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

JAN 05 BRAM STOKER

DEC 02 SOUTHAMPTON UKULELE JAM

JAN 12 SUBHUMANS

DEC 04 JOHN COOPER CLARKE DEC 06 ALDOUS HARDING DEC 07 THE DUALERS DEC 08 REVOLUTION PRO WRESTLING DEC 13 80'S REVIVAL DEC 14 JOHN OTWAY & THE BIG BAND

JAN 13 SOUTHAMPTON UKULELE JAM JAN 17 LOGICAL TRAMP [tribute to SUPERTRAMP] JAN 18 YES PLEASE! [TRIBUTE TO YES] JAN 23 ELIANA CARGNELUTTI

PYRAMIDS, P’MTH The Darkness

DEC 18 STEELY SCAM [STEELY DAN tribute]

JAN 25 POPA CHUBBY

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Kings of Leon

DEC 19 MOSTLY AUTUMN

JAN 27 SOUTHAMPTON UKULELE JAM

GUILDHALL, POMPEY John Barrowman SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester TUESDAY 10TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical / Wow! Said The Owl PLAZA, ROMSEY Cruise Into Christmas

DEC 20 THE SWEET DEC 21 RUFUS STONE

FEBRUARY

DEC 22 UKULELE CHRISTMAS CABARET

FEB 01 PEARL JAMM [PEARL JAM tribute]

DEC 28 SOUTHAMPTON RECORD FAIR

FEB 02 DAVID CROSS BAND

DEC 28 BUTTERFLY COLLECTIVE

THE CONCORDE CLUB Princes of Motown / Curtis Stigers

DEC 30 SOUTHAMPTON UKULELE JAM

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail

DEC 31 SYLWESTER: NEW YEARS EVE

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

NEW FOREST INN, ASHURST Christmas Quiz

1865, SOTON Pro Wrestling

BLUE FUNNEL 3 Course Christmas Lunch Cruise

THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Jason Buck

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

MANGO’S P’WOOD Steve Picken

THE CHALET, E’LEIGH The Chalet Quiz Night

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance / Cirque du Soleil in Virtual Reality / Aladdin

PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance / Cirque du Soleil in Virtual Reality / Aladdin

DEC 01 FONTAINES D.C.

JAN 25 SOUTHAMPTON RECORD FAIR

MOORS VALLEY C/P Santa Specials

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Blackadder’s Christmas Carol

JANUARY

DEC 16 SNOW PATROL

THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ Christmas with Tenor Un Limited

ROMSEY ABBEY Light Up a Life

DECEMBER

PAVILION, B’MTH Tea Dancer / Cirque du Soleil in Virtual Reality / Aladdin

HANGER FARM ARTS A Christmas Carol in Concert

TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON Tudor House Christmas

PLAYING HERE

GUILDHALL, POMPEY Milton Glee Choir & Royal Marines Band

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Christmas RNLI Charity Quiz Night

• High quality d&b audio PA system

• Chamsys controlled lighting rig

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester

• Stage, dance floor

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Murder

• Two licensed bars

AFC TOTTON V Cirencester Town - A

& balcony area

FEB 07 THE MIAMI SUNSHINE BAND [KC AND THE SUNSHINE BAND tribute] FEB 09 THE CALLING

ELIANA CARGNELUTTI Jan 23rd Eliana is one of the rare real front women of the European live music scene and the renowned Joe Bonamassa put a song of Eliana on the list of the eight recent songs absolutely to hear. The Italian guitarist and singer, graduated in jazz guitar at the conservatory “G. Frescobaldi” in Ferrara introducing a thesis on Mike Stern. She plays a flavour of rock blues with a bit of everything in between: electric funk, mixed with pop and jazzy instrumentals, raw rock, tight blues grooves, illuminated by her skills as an electric guitarist. Her sets truly have something for everyone.

Her band, features well known musicians from the Italian blues scene: Simone Serafini (Bass), Carmine Bloisi (Drums) and the melting of their personalities gives life to the subtly of musical nuances.

CHRISTMAS EVE WITH

ROY G HEMMINGS TUESDAY 24 DECEMBER 2019 2019 Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com

Stoneham Lane THE PLATFORM English Tunes Session WEDNESDAY 11TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Hobo Johnson & The Lovemakers THE CONCORDE CLUB The Silver Beatles Del Boy’s Christmas Comedy Dinner Show ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail AGEAS BOWL, W/E Charity Christmas Lunch MARWELL ZOO Christmas at Marwell Wonderland THE JOINERS, SOTON Scarecrow Boat Re-Union STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies ROMSEY ABBEY Thorndean Community Choir BIC, B’MTH Fastlove - George Michael Tribute PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance /Cirque du Soleil in Virtual Reality / Aladdin THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Hugh & Andy KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin GUILDHALL, POMPEY Melanie Martinez SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Murder Peter Rabbit / Rocketman THURSDAY 12TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl THE CONCORDE CLUB NYA King as Whitney Houston/Alvin as Elvis ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wave 105 Mission Christmas collection Festive Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail HANGER FARM ARTS Pocket Panto - Cinderella MARWELL ZOO Christmas at Marwell Wonderland ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON Cats in Space THE JOINERS, SOTON Avalanche Party STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies ROMSEY ABBEY The Romsey School Christmas Carol Ser-

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PYRAMIDS, P’MTH Bury Tomorrow

RODDINGTON FORGE Robbie Williams Tribute act

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Dance Floor Metropolis

FIREHOUSE, SOTON Subdued

NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker

1865, SOTON John Otway & The Big Band

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

THE RAILWAY, W’CH Boo Hewerdine

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY The Faim

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Guilt Trippin

GUILDHALL, POMPEY BSO: Fearless Youth

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester

BLUE FUNNEL Santas Christmas Cruise Christmas Party Cruise

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester

NEW FOREST, ASHURST Toast

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance / Cirque du Soleil in Virtual Reality / Aladdin

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Murder THE PLATFORM Black Kat Boppers FRIDAY 13TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/ Wow! Said The Owl BERRY TH’RE Stickman THE CONCORDE CLUB Mike All Buble and Robbing Williams ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail LEPE C/P Live at Lepe HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail HANGER FARM ARTS Pocket Panto - Cinderella THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ Caffeine, Calories and Show Tunes MARWELL ZOO Christmas at Marwell Wonderland

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Mafia GIORGIO’S B’WALTHAM Stacey Mogg PLATFORM TAVERN Chicago 9 ALEXANDRA HOTEL Johnny Boxcars NAVIGATOR,SOTON Castletown SATURDAY 14TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl TURNER SIMS THEATRE Joe Stilgoe/Christmas At The Movies BERRY TH’RE Stickman THE CONCORDE CLUB Tyler Jon as Gary Barlow Black Eyed Peaz / The Strolling Stones

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies ROMSEY ABBEY Messiah C/F CENTRAL CLUB Hazy Dayz THE CHALET, E’LEIGH Black Dog Gig FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance / Cirque du Soleil in Virtual Reality / Aladdin THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH S.O.B.’s NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin GUILDHALL, POMPEY Jingle Bell Jazz SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Salisbury Ukulele Band/The Beat Goes Bang

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail / Breakfast with Santa

SAINTS FC V West Ham Utd - H

THE JOINERS, SOTON Tyler Collins & The Radar

VICTORIA C/P Christmas in The Park/Christmas Carol Concert

PORTSMOUTH FC V Accrington Stanley - A

STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto

MANOR FARM C/P Christmas on The Farm

AFC BOURNEMOUTH V Chelsea - A

THE BROOK, SOTON The Brand New Heavies

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

AFC TOTTON V Paulton Rovers - H

FIREHOUSE, SOTON Stone Free

HANGER FARM ARTS Pocket Panto - Cinderella

THE STABLE, SOTON Ben Dlugokecki

BOTLEIGH GRANGE, H/E 80’s Fancy Dress Christmas Party

THE WYVERN, LEE Mafia

MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail/Santa Specials

THE PLATFORM Zoe Schwarz & Blue Commotion

ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON Bad Manners - Christmas Tour

1865, SOTON Thank Funk it’s Christmas 80’s revival - LIVE MUSIC BLUE FUNNEL Christmas Party Cruise MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies ROMSEY ABBEY Romsey Youth Choir Christmas Concert FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jools Holland and his Orchestra/Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance / Cirque du Soleil in Virtual Reality / Aladdin

LAKESIDE RAILWAY

JOLLY FARMER, W’SASH Olu SUNDAY 15TH

Santa Special

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan

ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON The UB40 Experience

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl

THE JOINERS, SOTON Rock Night Feat Trouble Country

TURNER SIMS THEATRE Jingle Bell Jazz / Sycs/A Holly Jolly Christmas

THE LOFT All Day Honeymoon

BERRY TH’RE Stickman

STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto

O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Majesty - The Ultimate Tribute to Queen

THE BROOK, SOTON T. Rexmas

THE CONCORDE CLUB John Maddocks Jazzmen Christmas Party

www.theconcordeclub.com ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail / Breakfast with Santa MANOR FARM C/P Christmas on The Farm Christmas Jumper Run HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail HANGER FARM ARTS Pocket Panto - Cinderella MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail/Festive Fun Day Christmas Family Trundle/Santa Specials LAKESIDE RAILWAY Santa Special THE JOINERS, SOTON Stout THE BROOK, SOTON Christmas Glow in the Dark Silent Disco HEARTBREAKERS A Formal Horse - Album Launch BLUE FUNNEL Christmas Lunch Cruise MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies C/F CENTRAL CLUB Daft Dave FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance / Cirque du Soleil in Virtual Reality / Aladdin THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH The Soul Classics NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Ready to Rock School SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Stone Free THE PLATFORM Frayed Knot MANGO THAI Ted Carrasco - Modern Jazz MONDAY 16TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan BERRY TH’RE Stickman THE CONCORDE CLUB Pure Queen ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail 1865, SOTON Snow Patrol HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ Santa’s Christmas Countdown MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail MARWELL ZOO Christmas at Marwell Wonderland

BLUE FUNNEL 3 Course Christmas Lunch Cruise MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance / Aladdin NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester TUESDAY 17TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl TURNER SIMS THEATRE An Elizabethan Christmas BERRY TH’RE Stickman O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Clutch THE CONCORDE CLUB Tom Canning as Tom Jones Tony Lewis as Robbie Williams ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ The Scummy Mummies Christmas Show MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail MARWELL ZOO Christmas at Marwell Wonderland MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies ROMSEY ABBEY Gift of Sight Christmas Carol Concert FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance / Aladdin NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Porthsmouth College end of year show SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Moscow Drug Club WEDNESDAY 18TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl

80’S MANIA EUROPE’S OFFICIAL 1980’S MULTI-TRIBUTE CONCERT

FRIDAY 27 DECEMBER 2019 Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane TURNER SIMS THEATRE Wyvern College Christmas Concert BERRY TH’RE Stickman O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Fred Goaters Tea Dance THE CONCORDE CLUB Edele as Adele/Rob Lamberti as George Michael ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ The Scummy Mummies Christmas Show MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail MARWELL ZOO Christmas at Marwell Wonderland STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto 1865, SOTON Steely Scam THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Queer Christmas HEARTBREAKERS Telemarkk THE RAILWAY, W’CH James Kirby MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’TH Tea Dance / Aladdin THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Darren Hodson NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin / That’ll Be The Day Christmas show WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Big Fat Xmas quiz SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester A Child’s Christmas in Wales SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Moscow Drug Club The Muppet Christmas Carol It’s a Wonderful Life ROMANO DELI CAFE Carol Service THE PLATFORM Stan’s Blues Jam THURSDAY 19TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl TURNER SIMS THEATRE The Mellstock Band/ Christmas Frolics BERRY TH’RE Stickman O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Abba Gold THE CONCORDE CLUB Red Mick as Simply Red/Abba Rival As Abba

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ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail HANGER FARM ARTS ‘Making a Song and Dance of it’ THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ The Spitfire Sisters’ Christmas Special MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail MARWELL ZOO Christmas at Marwell Wonderland STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto 1865, SOTON Mostly Autumn NEW FOREST INN, ASHURST Christmas Carols MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester A Child’s Christmas in Wales SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Moscow Drug Club PLATFORM TAVERN Funkassaurus

HEARTBREAKERS The Edit

FRIDAY 20TH

FORESTERS, BR’HST The Kestrels

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan / The Night Before Christmas NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl BERRY TH’RE Stickman O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON A Vision Of Elvis THE CONCORDE CLUB Lunch Christmas party with Abba Rival Vicky Jackson is Pink ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail VICTORIA C/P A Christmas Carol HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail Little Red Riding Hood THE HOBBIT Professor Elemental and Sweetchunks THE JOINERS, SOTON Sean McGowan STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto THE BROOK, SOTON Suspiciously Elvis - Christmas Special 1865, SOTON The Sweet & The Novatines

FIREHOUSE The Ace Trio BLUE FUNNEL Christmas Party Cruise MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies ROMSEY ABBEY Christmas with Romsey Singers FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Mr Wiseguy NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester A Child’s Christmas in Wales SHENANIGANS Shamrock Keys THE SAINTS PUB Decatonics PLATFORM TAVERN The Producers WHITE HART, GOSPORT Mr Messi Ban THE PLATFORM The Producers GAMEKEEPER, W’LANDS Olu

SATURDAY 21ST MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl BERRY TH’RE Stickman O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Jean Genie - The Ultimate David Bowie Tribute THE CONCORDE CLUB Soul Singer Ivan J/Spice Forever as Spice Girls ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail / Breakfast with Santa VICTORIA C/P Christmas in The Park / A Christmas Carol MANOR FARM C/P Christmas on The Farm LEPE C/P Christmas Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail HANGER FARM ARTS Liam & Tony White’s Xmas Spectacular BOTLEIGH GRANGE, H/E Ladies only Adult Christmas Party MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail / Make your own Reindeer Food / Santa Specials

LAKESIDE RAILWAY Santa Special ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING The Skore ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON Over 18 Roller Disco THE JOINERS, SOTON Sean McGowan STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto THE BROOK, SOTON Mainly Madness 1865, SOTON Rufus Stone HEARTBREAKERS Dead Rabbits THE SAINTS PUB Hattie Jaques THE RAILWAY, W’CH The Mantic Muddlers + NEW FOREST INN, ASHURST Breakfast with Santa

BLUE FUNNEL Christmas Party Cruise

Santas Christmas Cruise MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies ROMSEY ABBEY The Snowman C/F CENTRAL CLUB Mod Town FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Butcher Blues Foundation NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Fleetingwood Mac SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester A Child’s Christmas in Wales DOLPHIN, PORTSWOOD Toast SAINTS FC V Aston Villa - A PORTSMOUTH FC V Ipswich Town - H AFC BOURNEMOUTH V Burnley - H EASTLEIGH FC V Bromley - A AFC TOTTON V Slimbridge - A THE SWAN, WOOLSTON The Cellarats BREWERY BAR, BOTLEY Davy Jones Locker BARLEYCORN, B/WAL-

www.theconcordeclub.com THAM Stacey Mogg

NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker

NORTH CHEAM SOCIAL The Soulcatchers

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin / It’s a Wonderful Life

THE PLATFORM Sunflower

GUILDHALL, POMPEY BSO; Last Night of the Christmas Proms Under The Frozen Moon

HILTONBURY FARMHOUSE Ben Dlugokecki

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester

THE PLATFORM Backwater Roll

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON The Business

GIORGIO’S MED RESTAURANT Olu

JAGS@119, S/SEA Erin Gracie

UNITY BREWERY Sotones x Unity (Christmas Party

PLATFORM TAVERN Pete Harris & Ray Drury/Fundamentals MANGO THAI Paul Young - Modern Jazz

SUNDAY 22ND MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl BERRY TH’RE Stickman O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON The Power of 3 THE CONCORDE CLUB Sunday Lunch with Little Mix and Santa Rule The World as Take That ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail / Breakfast with Santa VICTORIA C/P Christmas in The Park / A Christmas Carol Santa Paws Run

MONDAY 23RD MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical BERRY TH’RE Stickman THE CONCORDE CLUB Easy Lover as Phil Collins West End Jerseys as The Jersey Boys ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail VICTORIA C/P A Christmas Carol LEPE C/P Christmas Trail

MANOR FARM C/P Christmas on The Farm

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

LEPE C/P Christmas Trail

HANGER FARM ARTS Movie for Kids: The Lion King

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail

HANGER FARM ARTS Malcolm The Magician’s Magical Christmas Show

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail Festive Fun Day / Santa Specials

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

LAKESIDE RAILWAY Santa Special

PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin

ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON Family Roller Disco

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Rooster

1865, SOTON Ukulele Christmas Cabaret

NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker

THE BROOK, SOTON Poundz,Tyrone X Warbz & Cam Keddy

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

THE RAILWAY, W’CH Ryan O’Reilly

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Mark Morriss & Friends

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

GUILDHALL, POMPEY Away With Words

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester

BIC, B’MTH That’ll Be The Day Christmas Show

TUESDAY 24TH

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan

PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH The Mudeford Crabs

BERRY TH’RE Stickman

LEPE C/P Christmas Trail

STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto

SAINTS FC V Crystal Palace - H AFC BOURNEMOUTH V Brighton & Hove Albion - A EASTLEIGH FC V Boreham Wood - A TIPSY PIG, R’SY Blues Fusion THE PLATFORM MJ Whipround

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

SUNDAY 29TH

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail THE JOINERS, SOTON Western Sand

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin PYRAMIDS, P’MTH Treasure Island / Chill - The Party Band NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY The Tenth Annual Christmas Covers party SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester STRAWBERRY FIELDS Doc Martin Band THE PLATFORM Jon Walsh Trio ROEBUCK, M’WOOD The Kestrels SATURDAY 28TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/Wow! Said The Owl BERRY TH’RE Stickman

C/F CENTRAL CLUB Starz ‘n’ Soundz Disco

BERRY TH’RE Stickman

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast

THE CONCORDE CLUB Ultra 90s

LEPE C/P Christmas Trail

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin

MANOR FARM C/P Christmas on The Farm

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

PYRAMIDS, P’MTH Treasure Island

LEPE C/P Christmas Trail

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast

NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

AGEAS BOWL, W/E Magic At The Hilton

PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester

MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail

NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker

SAINTS FC V Chelsea - A

THE JOINERS, SOTON Ducan’s Decadent Deadend Discotheque

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

PORTSMOUTH FC V Wycombe Wanderers - H

STAGE DOOR, SOTON Jack And His Beanstalk - Adult Panto

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester

AFC BOURNEMOUTH V Arsenal - H

1865, SOTON CD & Record Fair / Retro 4

THURSDAY 26TH

EASTLEIGH FC V Aldershot Town FC - H

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan

AFC TOTTON V Sholing - H

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical

THE PLATFORM Jack Francis & Friends

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

BERRY TH’RE Stickman

FRIDAY 27TH

PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin

GUILDHALL, POMPEY Baaa Humbug

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan

PYRAMIDS, P’MTH Treasure Island

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester

LEPE C/P Christmas Trail

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical / Wow! Said The Owl

NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker

WOOLSTON SOCIAL CL Mechanical

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

BERRY TH’RE Stickman

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

WEDNESDAY 25TH

MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail

THE CONCORDE CLUB 80s Mania

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY The Acid Attack & Punk Christmas party

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / The Tailor of Gloucester

THE CONCORDE CLUB Christmas Eve Lunchtime Party Roy G Hemmings ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail VICTORIA C/P A Christmas Carol LEPE C/P Christmas Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail NEW FOREST INN, ASHURST The Underdogs MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies C/F CENTRAL CLUB Starz ‘n’ Soundz Disco FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical/ Wow! Said The Owl BERRY TH’RE Stickman THE CONCORDE CLUB Edwin Starr’s Band ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail MANOR FARM C/P Christmas on The Farm LEPE C/P Christmas Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail NEW FOREST INN, ASHURST The Moonrush MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin PYRAMIDS, P’MTH Treasure Island THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH BB3 NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Kojaks Revenge Annual Party GUILDHALL, POMPEY Mini Ravers - Winter Wonderland SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood PORTSMOUTH FC V MK Dons - A THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Somethin’ Else THE PLATFORM Steve Osman / Bluescasters MANGO THAI Mambosse - Modern Jazz MONDAY 30TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical BERRY TH’RE Stickman THE CONCORDE CLUB Pre New Years Eve Party with Navi as Michael Jackson ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail LEPE C/P Christmas Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail

1865, SOTON Southampton Ukulele Jam MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin PYRAMIDS, P’MTH Treasure Island NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Hometown Show; The Old Golden River SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood TUESDAY 31ST MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical BERRY TH’RE Stickman THE CONCORDE CLUB New Years Gala Evening ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail LEPE C/P Christmas Trail HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail STAGE DOOR, SOTON Step Into the 20s THE BROOK, SOTON N.Y.E. with The Underdogs RODDINGTON FORGE New Year Celebration - ‘Dressed to Thrill’ FIREHOUSE, SOTON New Years Eve party 1865, SOTON Sylwester/New Years Eve NEW FOREST INN, ASHURST Casino Royale NYE Party MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies C/F CENTRAL CLUB Starz ‘n’ Soundz Disco FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin PYRAMIDS, P’MTH Treasure Island NTR, P’MTH The Nutcracker KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin GUILDHALL, POMPEY Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club Cirque Du Guildhall SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood THE SAINTS PUB New Years Eve Live Music and DJs OLD MILL, HOLBURY Davy Jones Locker WOOLSTON SOCIAL CL Peppermint Dole FAWLEY RBL CLUB The Soulcatchers STEAMTOWN, E’LEIGH Ben Dlugokecki & Zan

NAVI

PRE NEW YEARS EVE PARTY! MONDAY 30 DECEMBER 2019 Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

Te l : 0 2 3 8 0 6 1 3 9 8 9

MANGO O/V NYE with Stilling Moving DJs

PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast

JOLLY FARMER, W’SASH Olu

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

THE HOBBIT Johnny Boxcars WORTHIES CLUB, W’CH The Soulcatchers

www.theconcordecl ub.com

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood/ A Dickensian Improvised Tale

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

WEDNESDAY 8TH

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Bernard Hoskin / Berg’s Wozzeck

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Buddy

FAREHAM SOCIAL CLUB Toast

SAINTS FC V Tottenham Hotspur - H

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH We Are Robot

THE CONCORDE CLUB FB Pocket Orchestra

SAINTS FC V Leicester City - A

THE PLATFORM Gaslight Sessions

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

HANGER FARM ARTS The ‘Psychic’ Comedium

PORTSMOUTH FC V AFC Wimbledon - H

FRIDAY 3RD

GUILDHALL, POMPEY Thank for Sinners Night

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

AFC TOTTON V Larkhall Athletic - A

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Mafia

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical

PORTSMOUTH FC V Doncaster Rovers - H

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE A Private War / Everybody Knows

THE CONCORDE CLUB Decades Live UK

EASTLEIGH FC V AFC Fylde - H

THE PLATFORM Andy Grant Trio

THURSDAY 9TH

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical

SUNDAY 12TH

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail

AFC TOTTON V Winchester City - H

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Buddy

LEPE C/P Christmas Trail

PLATFORM TAVERN Sunflower

MAYFLOWER THEATRE What’s Love Got To Do With It?

LEPE C/P Christmas Trail

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

PLAZA, ROMSEY Camelot The Panto

SUNDAY 5TH

TURNER SIMS THEATRE Beethoven, Wordsworth & The French Revolution

MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON Frozen Fun

THE CONCORDE CLUB Nostalgic Tea Dance/John Maddocks Jazzmen

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

LEPE C/P Christmas Trail

PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin

PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Blonde Faith

MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

1865, SOTON Bram Stoker

PORTSMOUTH FC V Gillingham - A

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

AFC BOURNEMOUTH V West Ham Utd - A

THE PLATFORM Platform Posse

EASTLEIGH FC V Aldershot Town FC - A AFC TOTTON V Moneyfields - A

JANUARY 2020 “Happy New Year folks!”

WEDNESDAY 1ST MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail

THE CONCORDE CLUB An Intimate Evening with Jaki Graham SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / A Dickensian Improvised Tale JAGS@119, S/SEA Erin Gracie FRIDAY 10TH

THE CONCORDE CLUB Cuff Billet’s New Europa Jazz Band HANGER FARM ARTS Little Red Riding Hood 1865, SOTON Subhumans THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ The Railway Children

THURSDAY 16TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla, Queen of the Desert TURNER SIMS THEATRE Joanna Macgregor THE CONCORDE CLUB Cream of Clapton HANGER FARM ARTS Aladdin Jr ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON Insane Clown Posse + THE JOINERS, SOTON The Mowgli’s WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Dead Authors GUILDHALL, POMPEY BSO; Unrequited Love SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Upon The Stair FRIDAY 17TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla, Queen of the Desert BERRY THEATRE Robin Hood - The Panto PLAZA, ROMSEY Camelot The Panto THE CONCORDE CLUB The Zoots - The Sounds of the 60s THE BROOK, SOTON Fleetwood Bac

THE JOINERS, SOTON Slaughter Beach, Dog

1865, SOTON Logicaltramp

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

THE RAILWAY, W’CH All Floyd - Pink Floyd Anthology

AFC BOURNEMOUTH V Watford - H

PAVILION, B’MTH The Music of Prince

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Bifrost

PYRAMIDS, P’MTH Giuda

THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ The Railway Children

MONDAY 13TH

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Transmission

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood / A Dickensian Improvised Tale

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

GUILDHALL, POMPEY James Alderson’s One Man Show

SATURDAY 4TH

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

THE PLATFORM Jimmy Hillbillies

GUILDHALL, POMPEY Away With Words

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Upon The Stair

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan

PAVILION, B’MTH Aladdin

SATURDAY 11TH

1865, SOTON Southampton Ukulele Jam

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Matthew Bourne’s Romes and Juliet Salisbury Ukulele Band

THURSDAY 2ND

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Wonkey Donkeys

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Buddy

TUESDAY 14TH

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Peter Pan

THE CONCORDE CLUB Celebrating the Genius of Stevie Wonder

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Aladdin

BERRY TH’RE The Addams Family

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

THE PLATFORM Mike Vernon & The Mighty Combo

NUFFIELD THEATRE Cinderella: The Musical

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

PLAZA, ROMSEY Camelot The Panto

THE PLATFORM English Tunes Sessions

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Festive Trail

LEPE C/P Christmas Trail

MONDAY 6TH

THE CONCORDE CLUB Princes of Motown

WEDNESDAY 15TH

LEPE C/P Christmas Trail

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

TURNER SIMS THEATRE Lunchtime Concert: Emilia Martensson

THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ The Railway Children

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS The Snowman and The Snowdog Winter Trail

MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

THE JOINERS, SOTON Outsider Fest 3

THE CONCORDE CLUB Scott Hamilton Quartet

MOORS VALLEY C/P Family Christmas Quiz Trail

THE JOINERS, SOTON Accrington Stanley

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Robin Hood

THE BROOK, SOTON Absolute Bowie

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY The Bellrays

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Rebel Jam

MASKERS THEATRE Quartet

THE SAINTS PUB Funk ‘U’ Up

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Rory’s Way / Apollo 11

THE CONCORDE CLUB The Zoots - The Sounds of the 80s Liss Jones as Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Jess Glynne

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Beauty And The Beast

THE RAILWAY, W’CH Joe Mongan

TUESDAY 7TH

THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Nick Tann Band

THE PLATFORM Stan’s Blues Jam

THE JOINERS, SOTON INME

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

MOTTISFONT ABBEY An Enchanted Christmas with the Flower Fairies

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Whole Lotta Led

MANGO THAI Stephen Simmons Mind Games

1865, SOTON Yes Please! - a tribute to Yes

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Buddy BERRY THEATRE Lollipops & Moptops PLAZA, ROMSEY Camelot The Panto THE CONCORDE CLUB Teenage Kick 80s Night

SATURDAY 18TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla, Queen of the Desert BERRY TH’RE Robin Hood - The Panto PLAZA, ROMSEY Camelot The Panto O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON The Circus of Horrors

THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Jaz Delorean THE RAILWAY, W’CH Progspawn PAVILION, B’MTH BSO: Eastern Promise GUILDHALL, POMPEY Classic Rock Show SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Upon The Stair IONA CL, GOSPORT Toast ST JAMES TAV, W’NCH Cinnamon Jazz SAINTS FC V Wolverhampton Wanderers - H PORTSMOUTH FC V Bolton Wanderers - A AFC BOURNEMOUTH V Norwich City - A EASTLEIGH FC V Chesterfield - H AFC TOTTON V Basingstoke Town - A WOOLSTON SOCIAL CL Race Charity Night THE PLATFORM MJ Whipround SUNDAY 19TH PLAZA, ROMSEY Camelot The Panto THE CONCORDE CLUB From New Orleans Frog & Henry Band 1865, SOTON Lucid & Dandelion Charm THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Never The Agreed

BIC, B’MTH UK Dance Championships

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Living Spit’s Swan Lake

NELSON’S SOUTHSEA Stacey Mogg

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Mame

THE SAINTS PUB Queue The Audio

THE PLATFORM Pot Kettle Black

SAINTS FC V Crystal Palace - A

LONDON RD BREWHOUSE Ben Dlugokecki

MONKS BROOK, C/F The Kestrels

AFC BOURNEMOUTH V Brighton & Hove Albion - H

THE PLATFORM Rob Tognoni

SUNDAY 26TH

WEDNESDAY 22ND

THE NEW INN, HOUNSDOWN The Kestrels

MAYFLOWER THEATRE We Will Rock You THE CONCORDE CLUB Adrian Cox HANGER FARM ARTS Prince of Darkness SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Mame SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE The Aftermath / The Sisters Brothers THURSDAY 23RD MAYFLOWER THEATRE We Will Rock You BERRY TH’RE Joker THE CONCORDE CLUB Country Superstars Experience HANGER FARM ARTS Hits From The Blitz

1865, SOTON

SATURDAY 25TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE We Will Rock You TURNER SIMS THEATRE Candlemas: Gregorian Chant Re-Invented BERRY TH’RE Abominable PLAZA, ROMSEY Camelot The Panto O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Chinese New Year Celebration THE CONCORDE CLUB The Rozzers HAROLD HILLIER GDNS THe RSPB: Big Garden Birdwatch HANGER FARM ARTS Movie: Dumbo / Purple Zeppelin ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON The Smyths 1865, SOTON Popa Chubby / Southampton Record Fair

PLAZA, ROMSEY Camelot The Panto THE CONCORDE CLUB Sunday Lunch with Frozen/Sussex Jazz Kings HAROLD HILLIER GDNS THe RSPB: Big Garden Birdwatch BROADLANDS, ROMSEY 5 Mile Road Race for Charity WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Becky Jerams GUILDHALL, POMPEY The Music of Prince/The Little Mix Experience THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Unhinged DOLHIN, ST DENYS Chicago 9 MONDAY 27TH THE JOINERS, SOTON Raging Speedhorn GUILDHALL, POMPEY Portsmouth Chamber Series SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Three Acts and Seven Scenes 1865, SOTON Southampton Ukulele Jam

WEDNESDAY 29TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Swan Lake

RED ROVER, W WELLOW The Kestrels

THE CONCORDE CLUB TJ Johnson Band with Al Nichols

FEBRUARY 2019

GUILDHALL, POMPEY Max & Ivan - Commitment

SATURDAY 1ST

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE The Souvenir / Bait THURSDAY 30TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Swan Lake TURNER SIMS THEATRE Catrin Finch & Cimarron THE CONCORDE CLUB Powerhouse Gospel Choir THE JOINERS, SOTON Billy Lockett WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Beachtape GUILDHALL, POMPEY Money for Nothing SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE You’re Not as Funny as your Father THE PLATFORM Jack Francis & Friends

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Swan Lake NUFFIELD THEATRE Heist THE CONCORDE CLUB Soul & Reggae Party HANGER FARM ARTS A Taste of Spain ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON Julian Cope THE BROOK, SOTON Jah Wobble & The Invaders of The Heart 1865, SOTON Pearl Jamm KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH The Ultimate Classic Rock Show WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY The White Lakes GUILDHALL, POMPEY Guildhall Games Fest

FRIDAY 31ST

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE You’re Not as Funny as your Father

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Swan Lake / First Steps-Swan Lake

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Gershwin’s Porgy and Bess

NUFFIELD THEATRE Heist

SAINTS FC V Liverpool - A

TURNER SIMS THEATRE Ute Lemper/Rendezvous with Marlene

PORTSMOUTH FC V Sunderland - H

PLAZA, ROMSEY All Floyd - Pink Floyd Tribute Band

AFC BOURNEMOUTH V Aston Villa - H

THE CONCORDE CLUB John Lennon UK

EASTLEIGH FC V Woking - H

HANGER FARM ARTS Abba’s Angels

AFC TOTTON V Frome Town - A

THE JOINERS, SOTON Toy - IVW special

THE PLATFORM The Given Horse

Eliana Cargnelutti

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH That’ll Be The Day

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Mame / Feed

WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY Ice Breaker Festival

TUESDAY 28TH

MONDAY 20TH

FRIDAY 24TH

GUILDHALL, POMPEY Adele Tribute

MAYFLOWER THEATRE We Will Rock You HANGER FARM ARTS Movie: Yesterday KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH La La Land

MAYFLOWER THEATRE We Will Rock You

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Mame / Feed

THE CONCORDE CLUB

PLAZA, ROMSEY Camelot The Panto

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Living Spit’s Swan Lake

THE CONCORDE CLUB The American Four Tops

PORTSMOUTH FC V MK Dons - H

BIC, B’MTH Jack Whitehall

THE BROOK, SOTON R.E.M. BY Stipe

CHURCHILLS CL, E’LEIGH The Kestrells

THE RAILWAY, W’CH Vatican Romp

EASTLEIGH FC V Maidenhead Utd - A

BIC, B’MTH Kaiser Chiefs

HEARTBREAKERS Peaness

SUNDAY 2ND

GUILDHALL, POMPEY BSO: Symphonic Sensibility

AFC TOTTON V Bristol Manor Farm - H

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Three Acts and Seven Scenes

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE You’re Not as Funny as your Father

MAYFLOWER THEATRE Birmingham Royal Ballet - Swan Lake Dreams

SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Mame / Feed

WOOLSTON SOCIAL CL The Corsairs Band

PORTSMOUTH FC V Lincoln City - A

THE PLATFORM JC & Angelina Grimshaw

THE CONCORDE CLUB Bob Dwyer Bix & Pieces / RU40

TUESDAY 21ST MAYFLOWER THEATRE We Will Rock You HANGER FARM ARTS Movie: Yesterday

Quiz & Curry in aid of Wessex Cancer

THE BROOK, SOTON Martyn Joseph 1865, SOTON David Cross Band KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH Peter Panties - Adult Panto GUILDHALL, POMPEY Guildhall Games Fest SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Gojo Big Band MONDAY 3RD KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH The Woman in Black MASKERS THEATRE Quartet MANGO THAI Networking Night for the Music Industry TUESDAY 4TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Band of Gold HANGER FARM ARTS Flats & Sharps THE RAILWAY, W’CH Kacy & Clayton KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH The Woman in Black

EXHIBITIONS We’re the first business to have played it ... ... AND we’re still PLAYING IT! (See what we did there?)

02380 639058 NO6 Oxford St, Soton so14 3dj Olympic Bronze medalist James Foad joins top local personal training team!

COBBET HUB LIBRARY 17-18th August - Art Exhibition & Sale for Dot Adams

JOHN HANSFORD GALLERY 1st-17th August - Resist: Be Modern (again) 1st August-28th Sept -John Hansford Gallery - Sean Lynch:A Murmur, Rpeated 31st August - 28th Sept -John Hansford Gallery - Andi Schmied

SOUTHAMPTON CITY ART GALLERY

5th-18th August - Artlook 20th August - 15th Sept - 50/50 Painting & Photography exhibition 17th - 25th Sept - A Passionate Nature 27th Sept - 7th Oct Creative Fusion 2d3dSouth

mhrfitness.com MASKERS THEATRE Quartet WEDNESDAY 5TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Band of Gold THE CONCORDE CLUB Southampton University Jazz Orchestra HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Over 200 years of the Gurkha Regiment NTR, P’MTH Fame!

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH The Woman in Black SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Yesterday / Pain and Glory MASKERS THEATRE Quartet THURSDAY 6TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Band of Gold BERRY TH’RE Judy THE CONCORDE CLUB Lockie Chapman ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON The Menzingers NTR, P’MTH Fame!

ENGINE ROOMS, SOTON Genesis Visible Touch 1865, SOTON The Miami Sunshine Band & DJ Paul Mico THE BROOK, SOTON Legend - Bob’s 75th Birthday Celebration THE RAILWAY, W’CH Gaz Brookfield PAVILION, B’MTH The Story of Guitar Heroes NTR, P’MTH Fame!

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH The Woman in Black WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, POMPEY The Malone Sibun Band GUILDHALL, POMPEY BSO: Pastoral Beethovan SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Blood Wedding SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Tom Stade: You Ain’t seen nothing yet STRAWBERRY FIELD TAV Toast THE SAINTS PUB Music hosted by Sally Meaden MASKERS THEATRE Quartet THE PLATFORM Platform Posse

SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Flats and Sharps MASKERS THEATRE Quartet THE PLATFORM Gaslight Sessions FRIDAY 7TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Band of Gold O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Roy Orbison & The Traveling Wilburys Experience THE CONCORDE CLUB Get Ready HANGER FARM ARTS Rob Auton - The Time Show

regular events etc... want your events on here? then send them to us! :) This is just a guide (it says so on the cover) always check with the venue before getting your togs on and boarding the bus. Very few (so few it hurts) venues tell us when they change their events, that despite more internet access than mi5, from time to time we get something wrong ... sniff ... want to buck the trend? email me at:

theandguide @mail.com MANGO BASEMENT Every Thursday ; Live Music & Jam session

Want your events in here?

It’s free you just have to display our papers or the front cover in a prominent place. That fair? email: theandguide@mail.com

SHIP INN, OLD REDBRIDGE Quiz Night - Every Tuesday CROWN & ANCHOR 2nd and last Wednesday OPEN MIC THE WESTGATE Every last Tuesday - OPEN MIC THE STABLE Every last Monday - OPEN MIC WILIAM WALKER (WINCHESTER) Every 2nd and last Sunday - OPEN MIC Every 3rd Wednesday - QUIZ MONKS BROOK Quiz Thursday nights THE ARTHOUSE MONTHLY Tuesday - Southampton Songwriters Wednesday - Poetry Stanza Thursday - Origami, Story Club Friday Epilepsy Coffee & Chat WEEKLY Tuesday - Board Games Night Wednesday - French Language Cafe & British Sign Language club Thursday - Crafty Cafe THE SHOOTING STAR Last Saturday of the month - Reloaded Every 1st Sunday - OPEN MIC THE TESTWOOD Monday - Open Mic Tuesday - Charity Quiz Wednesday - Rock’n Roll Bingo Friday - Theme Music Night Last Saturday of month - Disco/Live Music Sunday - Poker League THE ALEXANDRA Sunday & Mondays - Free Pool, and Retro Gaming. Thursdays - Open Mic WHITE HORSE, NETLEY MARSH Last Sunday of Month – Quiz Night Monday – All you can eat curry night SOUTHAMPTON ARMS, WEST END Quiz Night - First Monday of month RAILWAY INN, W'CHESTER Mondays - Roots Open Mic

Every Friday - Boogie - DJs

DRUMMOND ARMS, PORTSWOOD Sunday Quiz

Every Saturday Boutique DJs - soul, funk, disco, motown, rock’n’roll, rhythm’n'blues,

MALVERN Sundays - Quiz Nights

Every Sunday Southampton Modern Jazz Club Every Tuesday Stand Up In The Basement Comedy PRE-BAR Last Thursday of the month - OPEN MIC FLYING DUTCHMAN River Studio's Open Mic and Jam every other Friday night at 8pm to 11pm

KINGS TH’RE, P’MTH The Woman in Black SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Blood Wedding

&

1st August - 28th Sept - Criminal Ornamentation

HAROLD HILLIER GARDENS

Call them now on: 07847 477612

open mic’s

FROG & FRIGATE Every Friday & Saturday night Frogging with The Legendary Derek & DJ Wednesdays Rebellion (Student Party Night)

BRIGADIER GERARD, (HORTON HEATH) Wednesday 8:30 Quiz FOX & HOUNDS, FAIR OAK Thursday Quiz 8:00 KING & QUEEN HAMBLE Live Music Sundays LANGLEY TAVERN Quiz Night - Every Wednesday ELEPHANT & CASTLE 1st & last Saturday live music 2nd Saturday Karaoke

The First Monday of Month Stand Up At The Frog

SILVER FERN Mondays - Quiz Night

SCHOLARS ARMS Open Mic Night - Monday

STRAWBERRY FIELD TAV Every Friday - Live Music

GRAND CAFE Live Music - Wednesdays h Acoustic Session VESTRY Every Friday - Live Music PLOUGH, SOTON Every Tuesday - Quiz Night BELLEMOOR TAVERN Quiz Night - Every Sunday

OLD FARMHOUSE TOTTON Saturdays - Live Music THE NEW FOREST Live Music Fridays THE CRICKETERS (EASTLEIGH) Every Tuesday - Quiz BERRY THEATRE 1 Sept - 8th Dec - Playwriting Competition

Can you spot the PEAS or the duplicate?

CAN’T FIND A COPY? YOU’RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH! The AND Guide is available in over 600 places across the Southampton area: Fareham to New Forest and even selected outlets in Pompey & Bournemouth! theandguide@mail.com

DOWNLOADED YOUR ‘FREE’ MUSIC APP YET? Available on Google Play and the App Store now.

www.andradio.co.uk

2019 MILBURY’S CRICKET CLUB BIG BASH EXTRAVAGANZA END OF SEASON AWARDS! (WHAT A BUILD UP!) It’s The travelling

by Robbo -(sort of)

MILBURYS CC

THIS SPELLBINDING INSTALLMENT BROUGHT WELL GLEAMED REALLY FROM OUR NOT SO GRAMATAICALLY CORRECT AWARDS NOTES.

runs with a highest score of 54 not out, avg 48.33 and ranked 4th on the list of all time club greats.

After a fantastic World Cup, an incredible Ashes and a Milbury’s Dorset Tour won for us by the ever youthful Tricky, the players were ready for their well earned trophies and a chance for the fans to meet their heroes. Or rather the WAGS to meet their partners.

1ST PLACE: One of Hampshire's finest police officers the pub has ever seen (apart from when Katy got her bag nicked in broad daylight from The Holt), Ally with 475 runs, and a 2019 club top innings score of 71 with avg 43.18. 64 x 4’s and 11 x 6’s and 2 equal leading 2019 run outs!

Ranked 3 on the all time greatest list.

The 2019 season was one of the most incredible seasons of cricket ever played, the drama, tension and heart-stopping moments, and that was just us lot trying to avoid having to sign that bloody duck! Yep our summer of cricket was barely believable. Which begs the question of why we bother to hold an awards evening. But bother we did. AND here for your bemused enjoyment are our winners as MC’d our diminutive headmaster Robbo.

LANDLORD OF THE YEAR Between Southampton Arms, The Phoenix and Milburys ... goes to: Martin Juden of Milburys!

DUCK OF THE SEASON Faz, for last duck of the season, who gets to keep the duck over winter and now on 8 career ducks!

NEW FOR 2019 MOST DOT BALLS IN 3RD PLACE: Dunc on 63% of balls faced.

IN 2ND PLACE: Robbo on 65% of balls faced AND IN 1ST PLACE: for the inaugural award for most dot balls of 2019 is ... Faz for 66% of balls faced, with career dot balls of 57%.

JADE OF THE YEAR IN 3RD PACE: LT for 16 off the over IN 2ND PLACE: Jonners for 17 off the over AND IN 1ST PLACE: while consistently out foxing his teammates with an array of runs delivered by the opposition and the ball being smashed all around the ground well beyond the ability of men in treacle fielders, and with an astonishing 22 off of one solitary over goes too …

LT in the match against B&Q. Crikey that game went on and on ... and on ...

BOWLER OF THE YEAR 3RD PLACE: Rob on 16 wickets with a best of 411 who is the clubs greatest ever bowler and ranked number 1 on the all time greats!

ALL ROUNDER OF THE YEAR Alex Lys for 3rd highest runs and 2019 club highest batting avg 50.4 along with fourth highest wicket taking, 15 wickets with a best of 4-21 NEW FOR 2019 - MVP OF THE YEAR! As worked out by international pub cricket standards. Cough ...

10TH PLACE: (Really had this guy down as a clear winner for MVP (most valuable protester): Dunc 55.79 points.

3RD PLACE: Jonners on 119.98 points and only a gnat's whisker of a point behind 2nd , tough s**t Jonners, thats two trophies you've missed out on!

2ND PLACE: Alex Lys on 120.61 points 1ST PLACE: And his second trophy of the evening ... The 2019 inaugural MVP of the year goes too ... Geoffrey Stevens! 143.15 points from steady batting and consistent bowling from a pensioner.

DICK OF THE SEASON 3RD PLACE: Tricky "Ham String Strop" (that's the editor to you. Ed) for feigning a hamstring injury when asked to bowl a last over on tour and then failing to turn up for a game despite making himself available and being selected on out Teamo App (What a load of old tosh.

The hamstring injury was very real and only cured overnight by medicinal amounts of alcohol. As for the Teamo App? Never heard of it? Is it some kind of modern thingy? Ed) 2ND PLACE: Faz for getting complaints from numerous opposition captains and umpires about his sledging! And for fielding on the boundary away v Exiles, missing the ball, letting it go for 4 and then proceeding to slate the opposition who were sitting and scoring at a table for it somehow being their fault!

1ST PLACE: Jim Skin for getting injured carrying a beer and for spending 495 quid a bat that doesn’t work!

Up The Millburys!

December 20th DECATONICS December 21st HATTIE JAQUES January 11th FUNK'U'UP January 24th QUEUE THE AUDIO Friday February 7th A NIGHT OF MUSIC hosted by DECATONICS lead vocalist Sally Meaden

2ND PLACE: Pie Chucker extraordinaire and sponsored by Fray Bentos…. BA with 23 wickets with a best of 3-7 and ranked 2nd on the all time Milbury’s greatest list.

NEW YEARS EVE

IN FIRST PLACE: The only regular bowler with a free bus pass on the squad … Geoffers for 25 wickets, with a best of 4-7 against Bishops Waltham. Avg 8.84 and economy 3.28, strike rate 15.32. Ranked 6th on all time greatest bowlers list.

3 Bars , Heated Marquee, Food Stalls, 7pm - 2am ONLY £10 ... Live Music & Guest DJ’s

BATSMAN OF THE YEAR IN 3RD PLACE: Alex Lys with 252 runs and 2019 highest club avg of 50.4 and ranked 15th on the list of all time greats!

2ND PLACE: the batsman who has perfected the chip shot straight to mid off, Jonners with 435

Most Valued Player of The Year: Our treasurer ... Geoff Stevens.

KENDAL AVE, MILLBROOK, SOUTHAMPTON SO16 9LP Hours: 11am–12am | Phone: 023 8077 4215

www.thesaintspub.co.uk

MIC’s broadcast

page 39

The adventures of our cheeky smiling durley boy

Reminds me ... how well do Saints usually do in December?

Mr Tein

Michael Kurn

Another year down …

Roll on 2020!

Well, it only seems like yesterday it was January and we were all looking forward to the year that was going to be.

Before we know it it has flown by once again and here we are saying goodbye to the year that was. For this lad from Southampton who’s on a pretty incredible journey it’s been another crazy year. I always find December a great time to look back and its been another bumper year of work and experiences. I will look back on 2019 with a great fondness. It was a year of many new opportunities for me.

Firstly looking back to May when I covered by first FA Cup Final. A sporting occasion I wanted to play in that I had the chance to be part of the presenting team for on Talk Sport. That day has opened so many doors for me.

The team have given me some wonderful opportunities from covering the 1000th England international to co-hosting the Sports Bar Weekender over the summer. It’s a real honour to be part of the Talk Sport team this season and going forward in to 2020.

May also saw me host the Southampton Football Club end of season awards and it marked the begging of my new relationship with the club. Being stood on the stage in a room full of players, ex players and fans was incredible and I felt incredibly lucky to be part of that. Of course that has led to me being part of the match day team this season which I am loving and its been great to get to know so many more Saints fans to share the love of our club with.

This year also was a big year for cricket and working on the Cricket World Cup was another unforgettable occasion. It’s never lost on me how fortunate I am to work on such incredible sporting occasions. Covering games at Hampshire and also at Lords was amazing and other memory to keep.

March saw mew publish my first book Desire Dream Vision which went down really well. So much so the second edition is coming out in early 2020. I have been very lucky to do my talk in lots of schools this year and continue spreading the DDV message that you really can achieve anything you set you mind to if you go about it the right way.

The start of the 2019/2020 football season looked a little different for me as I am no long working on the Premier League Channel, but new doors opened and I am thoroughly enjoying covering the Premier League for Indonesia on Mola TV. Working with a great team on some epic games its already turning in to a season to remember.

So what next? Well, there is plenty in the pipeline for 2020 including my second book. Yes, Im back at it again.

This time though it's about my beloved Saints, more details to come early next year but keep and eye out for #LifeOfASaint on social media. There will also be something happening with Desire Dream Vision next September so keep your eyes peeled on the March edition of the And Guide for the big reveal.

So another year down ... here is to 2020 Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and an amazing 2020

Michael Social Media @michaelkurn michaelkurn.com

Saints need a lift. But are we going up or down? It felt like we hit rock bottom when Leicester sneaked a 9-0 victory a few weeks back. Rather than bounce back from that we have only manged to gain one point, a draw at Arsenal snatched from the jaws of victory.

Now I know the Pompey fans were crowing over our battering from Vardy and company but let’s not forget the only team Leicester have beaten by a higher score line is their famous 10-0 win over the skates.

Okay it was well back in 1928 and away from home (check out Bob Pundit’s book review on page 24) … but Pompey always want to outdo us, don’t they?

There’s a pretty interesting page excerpt from Bob’s book on the right. Yep more Saints info than you can shake a sponge at!) I still think, if before the Pompey game I had been given the option of “yes you can beat Pompey, but you’ll get tonked 9-0 in the league” at St Mary’s? I’d still have opted to beat Pompey.

The next few games though, to all intents and purposes, look like they will decide our season.

As I finish this we have just performed the first part of our unlikely Christmas miracle and somehow beaten Watford. Norwich follow quickly, then West Ham and an away match at Newcastle. It’s stating the obvious but these games could decide our season. Any less than 9 points in games which should be easy matches will be a disaster.

They are now must win, life and death, we’ll fight them on the beaches, they don’t like it up ‘em, cup finals, cliché, cliché, cliché … Especially when you think that Watford was our first home win since we beat Wolves 3-1 back in April!

Talking about the bottom 3 its hard to work out at the moment which 3 teams are worse than us when the clubs at 16th and 17th are West Ham and Everton! Obvious candidates for the drop seem thin on the ground.

Still, enough doom and gloom.

WE finally have a new director of football. Matt Crocker returns to the club where he worked from 2006 until 2013 as academy manager, after a time with the FA as their head of development, ensur-

ing there was a pathway from the Under-15s to the Under 20-s.

Sound familiar? He had been tipped to be the FA’s new technical director but lost out to the departing Les Reed. (That’ll be interesting. Even a huge Black Book can’t find him internationals. Ed) Added to this is the recent appointment of Martyn Glover as Head of recruitment and a vacancy for a player trading expert. Now all we need is a decent centre half. (All we need? I wish! Ed)

INTERESTING FACT Since the start of the 2016/17 season, no player has scored more Premier League goals (16) for Southampton than James Ward Prowse

THE RUMOUR MILL The most significant rumour of late suggests that for the last 6 months Mr Gao has been in consideration of selling the club.

Manchester City have just sold a 10% stake in their club for $500 million, making that 10% worth more than our entire club. I would think, based on performance and assets, 80% of the Saints is probably less desirable than it was when our current owner invested. Of course, a change in owner is like a change in manager … you can always get somebody worse!

THE ARSENAL GAME. Both teams’ managers went into that game with their employment under threat. The Saints performance and a point certainly kept the P45 away from Ralph but news has just come in that our scintillating performance has just cost Unai Emery his job.

Looks like Arsenal could be about to do a Manchester United … who still haven’t replaced Fergie! (Think you nailed it a bit earlier Mr Tein … you can always get somebody worse! Ed) #pochforarsenal

WHAT CAN SANTA GET US THIS CHRISTMAS. RALPH. A manager of the month award for December MR GAO. A regular column in the Daily Echo (Eh? Ed) CHE ADAMS. A Goal SAINTS DEFENCE Clean Sheet THE FANS. A Voice at home ST MARYSA few wins MARTIN GLOVER fund

A Transfer

ME An 8-0 home win please and a box of celebrations. Oh… and a place in Europe with a few tasty away games.

AND a little Christmas Quiz for er... Christmas

Saints greatest XI - an occasional series ... this time by Nickname. I’ll leave you to work out who they are.

Apologies for historical names that now seem slightly politically incorrect.

Different times! (Apologies not needed Mr Tein. We loved them all. Context and intent should dictate an insult in my opinion.

I call my best mates the very worst names.

Because they’re my mates. Just sayin. Ed) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Budgie Pyscho Killer Steeeeeeeeeeeve Wolfman Gypsy LaLlama Ozzie Le God The Ox Chicken George

So that’s it. By Christmas day Saints will have made or broken their league position, we’ll have a new government and we will all be fed up with Turkey and TV repeats. #COYS

Have a great one ... or 2!

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Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a safe New Year!

20-22 Queens Terrace Havelock Chambers Southampton S014 3BQ

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