The AND Guide, June/July 2019 #33

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SOUTHAMPTON’S original KICK-bottom guide, massive Listings, Reviews & Comment PAPER! MUSIC, SHOWS, BOOKS, FAMILY, SPORT ... & DEPRESSION! BI-monthly. issue 33 june / july 2019

DAILY LISTINGS

APRIL/MAY 19

COVER pic: Southampton’s OLYMPIC BRONZE MEDALIST rower talks candidly about his battle with the ‘d’ word.

‘LIVE MUSIC IN THE GARDEN’ Sunday 14th JULY (TICKET ONLY)

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Hello AND Land … must be June by now!

So here we are again … another issue.

AND my word has this one been a trial!

team of Jack Wilson (SEE Southampton), Katie Santos (Southampton Tour Guide trainer and the person that first alerted me), Sandra Lochhead, Martin Brisland (read about his Secret Southampton book signing on page 14), Ian Lawford, ex Mayor Linda Norris, Mike Not for the reasons you’d expect Andrews and Steve Rogers (my first either. Contrary to what I’m told at Southampton Ambassador). A day and least er … all the time … we have no a zillion calls, posts and messages trouble filling it. We’ve also sold out the advertising every single edition. No later, we were delighted to see a deour biggest headache is what to leave lightful crowd headed by Mayor cllr out, because I only print 40 pages. But Peter Baillie in full regalia, making our American heroes feel truly special. none of that has been the reason this The day before my dear wife had left issue is a er… tad late. So, for your to go on a holiday with her best friend amusement and an insight into my to Antigua. So I thought I could get crazy, stressful, amazing life all of my away with the time I’d spent Friday, own making, so I can’t complain, this without having my ear bent too much. has been my recent week.

Saturday was a blur as I tried to Hopefully you will notice that some catch up, finally going Pete Tong when true heroes visited Southampton reit was insistsed that I visit my mates cently. There’s more on page 5 but in Geoff’s house for the ex Saints Chambrief it came to my attention that pions League Final with my cricket some American D-Day Veterans were visiting The American Wall on route to team. A few beers into the evening and I found myself reluctantly agreeing Portsmouth’s D-Day Commemorations to play cricket the following day as it and my beloved city hadn’t prepared anything or anyone to greet them. The was for our first shot at silverware for the season against my old mates from paper was due to go to print that weekend but I was so incensed, that I The Old Bill. put it off and dived into trying to sort The cricket Sunday was great. Not something respectful. Within hours I my contribution, but we won and er… was part of a a small but energetic celebrated. Wipe off most of Sunday.

MEET THE PEAS DID YOU FIND THEM HIDING IN THE LAST ISSUE? REALLY? IT’S MEANT TO BE FOR KIDS. BETTER LUCK THIS ISSUE THEN! CAN YOU FIND ANNIE? SHE’S IN EVERY ISSUE OF COURSE!

after all and it was to cost me £60 for a locksmith. But money well spent and I was back in my office producing pages. Of course I had to visit my Monday though visits me with a phone call from my dear old Mum who Mum later. “I’m not holding you up am I” she asked. “Of course not”, says I has been poorly for a few days and needed to see me. Of course I trot over. with a grin. “I’m virtually finished… cough.” Fortunately she’s getting much She’s actually very poorly. So I do all the speaking to doctors thing … well re- better by now and the rogue chicken ceptionists … then receptionists again … that had apparently caused her plight, then triage … then finally a doctor who a dimming memory. If only she could have grasped how to use the iPad I’d promptly sends out some paramedics.

They were fab. But insisted I get a doc- taken in for her to use. Being a technical helpline to an 82 year old when tor to visit her on the Tuesday. by this time I didn’t have enough time So Tuesday, I’m with my brave Mum to make a cup of tea, was slowly using waiting for the doctor, that then beup my chill buds. comes waiting for an ambulance and But Saturday is always a favourite an admission to hospital. Obviously day of mine and so it proved. With the but with no regrets other than a little biggest chunk of work done so far. I stress I write most of the day off. Unwas almost there. Sunday Midnight … fortunately as well as my wife, my brother is also on holiday (not together my absolute deadline … was in sight!

There was one fly in the ointment I don’t think?) so it was down to me. though as I was supposed to be colRock on Wednesday! Pretty good for lecting my beloved from Gatwick at the most part as was Thursday al5am. It wasn’t going to happen. I had though juggling putting the pages toto work through the night to get on gether and visiting my Mum was track, so gratefully I accepted the offer proving tricky. Even more tricky when from my wife’s friends husband, who I came back Thursday, Chinese takeshe’s gone on holiday with (that’s the away in hand, thinking I’ll just take friend not the husband) that he’d go the dog out before I get stuck back an collect them. Phew… into work, as my heart sank as my My plan was to work flat out front door closed. My keys staring smugly at me through the kitchen win- through the night and go with him, dow. Spare key was with my daughter having a crafty kip on the way. (Are you sticking with this?) All worked so no problem, until I realised she’s perfectly. The wives were collected. I borrowed my car the previous day to was into my second wind, the 10 go to Alton Towers. I was stuck.

Fortunately, my old mate Jezz didn’t hours work I had left would be a breeze. Well it would have been if I mind me getting him out of bed, and rocked up to take me and my bemused hadn’t forgotten that I had arranged to meet my old teachers Mr Ring and hound back to his for the night.

Miss Bowyer with some old schoolFriday didn’t start too well. It turned mates from St Marks - at 12 o’clock! I out that my daughter didn’t have a key couldn’t not go. I owed so much - this But at this stage I’m not worried because I still have 2 days to go to me rearranged deadline.

very paper, my education, even my football education to Mr Ring, he was an inspiration. He was 97. How could I not go and say ‘thank you’?

Well I did. I didn’t stay long. I couldn’t. Besides my wife would have killed me. Which brings me to this point now; finishing this bit of editorial. I’ve got just an hour to deadline and all is done. I’m so tired I’m not even going to read this back, so hopefully fingers crossed and all that.

I know, you couldn’t make it up.

Well I haven’t. No idea why I’ve shared it all with you? Seemed like a good idea an hour ago. Let’s hope you love the rest of the paper!

Oh and incase you’re wondering... all my advertisers were happy with the delay when I explained. Although I think most of them just wanted me to stop talking.

Thanks again for supporting the paper.

It’s put together with love and affection by: Paul Ridge, Louise Beach Steel, Barry Upton, Matt Black, Russell Cook, Martin Boorman, Stuart Davis, Tony Wright, Jezz Phipp, Cliff Bryant, Tony Long, Keith Curtis, Mike Yarney, Rob Worley, my much missed spiritual advisors Ken Bundy, Annie Philpott and Steve Ellis and my long suffering wife Tracey. Contributions from Jasmine Hodge, Richard Harper, Liz Rickard, WWF and Greenpeace. I’d also like to thank my delivery army of Loraine and everyone at The Frog & Frigate, PS super fan Maureen, Julie Ellis and Phil Belcher. My chiropracter sends her regards.

theandguide@mail.com www.facebook.com/ theandguide

written by Gordon Craig

Inheritance Tax Planning

1. What is inheritance tax?

Inheritance Tax is a 40% tax charge on any part of your estate that exceeds your personal allowance (also known as the nil-rate band).

Your estate is the combination of your property, savings and investments, other assets and any gifts you gave away in the seven years leading up to your death.

With the value of property, particularly down here in the South of England, having risen significantly over the past 30 years or so, more an more people are discovering that their “estate” is now close to or above the “nil rate band” and is likely to suffer some inheritance tax deduction.

2. What is the “nil rate band” (NRB) The nil-rate band is your personal allowance that is free from Inheritance Tax. It is currently £325,000 per person, but for some people this will increase between 2017 and 2020 with the introduction of the main residence allowance (see below).

Any unused allowance can be transferred between married couples and civil partners when they die, meaning you could potentially pass on up to £650,000 to your beneficiaries without paying any Inheritance Tax.

3.The new main residence allowance In July 2015, Chancellor George Osborne announced a new £175,000 allowance for passing on the family home. Any unused allowance can be

passed between married couples or civil partners, as long as the second partner dies after April 2017. This means you could potentially leave £1 million to the next generation with no Inheritance Tax to pay. The new allowance is being phased in from April 2017 to April 2020 and will increase with inflation afterwards.

However, it will be tapered down for people with larger estates – the allowance will reduce by £1 for every £2 that your estate is valued over the £2 million mark. The additional allowance also only applies to the family home (not a second home or buy-to-let property) and can only be used when passing on assets to direct descendants.

4. Estate planning – a definition Estate planning involves passing on more of your hard-earned money to those you care about by reducing the amount of your estate that will be taken into consideration when your Inheritance Tax bill is calculated.

There is no ‘silver bullet’ when it comes to estate planning – the best approach is often a combination of four different strategies: • Making outright gifts • Making gifts in trust • Keeping your assets while reducing Inheritance Tax • Managing Inheritance Tax without making gifts.

5. Gifts Gifting is often the most straightforward (and cheapest) form of estate planning. This can be for a specific purpose (e.g. child house

purchase), or a more general passing of savings on to future generations.

Gifts can have different Inheritance Tax treatments depending on the value of the gift, when it was made and who it was given to.

How much is the right amount to give away?

When making gifts there is often a trade-off between wanting to pass your savings on and keeping enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life. This means it can be difficult to know how much money to give away.

6. Reducing inheritance tax liability but retaining control of wealth Since 1976, there has been a special investment incentive, which was extended in 1996 and expanded further in 2013 to produce legislation which has been moulded into specific inheritance tax planning products by a variety of providers.

Business Property Relief (BPR) Business Relief reduces the value of a business or its assets when working out how much Inheritance Tax has to be paid. Normally, the “business” would be a small, unquoted (or “qualifying”) trading business, owned by the individual, for example, your own Limited Company. As long as the business has been owned for two years prior to death, the value of the business, although still part of your estate, is not liable to inheritance tax.

In addition, some shares listed on the Alternative Investment Market (AIM) qualify for BPR. Furthermore, AIM shares can how

CALL your nearest office now for a free and confidential, no-obligation, one hour meeting, to evaluate your financial circumstances.

be held in a “Stocks & Shares ISA”, which further increases the ability for individual to undertake inheritance tax planning while still retaining access to their wealth.

ISAs are immediately accessible by the holder, can produce tax free income if desired and, if they are used to invest in a portfolio of AIM shares, they will not be liable to inheritance tax of death, as long as they have been held for two years or more.

There are, obviously, risks with investing in such small companies, however, with the right planning and taking this into considerations with other methods of inheritance tax planning as described below, your valuable wealth can be passed to your loved ones with limited funds being deducted and passed to HMRC in the form of tax.

For a FREE, no-obligation review of your wealth and potential inheritance tax liability, why not call Gordon now on 023 8042 0606?

Article produced by Gordon Craig Asset Management Financial Advisers (AMFA) Ltd. Gordon works out of the Southampton branch.

At Asset Management Financial Advisers Ltd., we are here to help businesses and individuals receive professional advice on all aspects of financial planning. Why not call us now and arrange a free appointment?

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THE SOUTHAMPTON AMBASSADORS

Meet the Southampton Ambassadors

OUR PATRONS

Martin Perry

Launched in 2012, Southampton Ambassadors is my project to encourage the city’s elite, big and small, to join together for mutual benefit and the good of the Southampton area. AND its working!

So what’s the story below then? Well, I think it sums up why our lovely city needs Southampton Ambassadors. But without getting into the politics and the question that I will ask, and get an answer to, on all of our behalf of all of us in the city that quite rightly want to know ... here is the short answer.

On Wednesday evening I got a frantic call from Katie Belo dos Santos, who trains the Southampton Tour Guides. She had been told Jack Wilson of SEE Southampton that some USA D-Day Veterans were arriving Friday courtesy of The QE2 and wanted to visit the city’s American Wall on route to Portsmouth’s 75th Anniversary D-Day Commem-

orations. The wall is where their comrades scratched their names into the bricks before setting off for D-Day. (8 Western Esplanade, SO14 2AZ) Both she and Jack were distraught that not only had Southampton prepared nothing for the anniversary but it had and made no plans to greet these heroes.

Must admit I threw my toys out of the pram for a moment. But following a few phone calls between us we had quickly assembled a team of Linda Norris (Ex Mayor), Mike Andrews (top bloke and a go-to-mate for anything Southampton), Tony Martin (British Legion), Steve Rogers (Southampton Ambassadors), Sandra Lochhead, Martin

Brisland, Ian Lawford, Katie, Jack and yours truly, to try and make the best out of the day that was left to organise something.

Amazingly the event went as well as possible, with a small but passionate crowd turning out to do the city proud. I’m especially pleased our Mayor cllr Peter Baillie arrived in full regalia to officialise the visit, by presenting medals from Southampton, and a framed picture of The QE2. A huge ‘thank you to everyone who helped and attended. You saved the city from a shameful embarrassment.

I think and hope between us all, we made these wonderful elderly gentlemen feel properly appreciated and my regrets for not being able to inform all of you that would have wanted to attend in time. AND yes I will be bringing you the answer to that question next issue.

For more info email me at: theandguide@mail.com

OUR MEMBERS

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David Hughes

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Some of the causes, talents, projects and charities we support.

‘SEASIDE IN THE SQUARE’ RETURNS FOR 2019 Southampton’s incredibly popular ‘urban beach’ will return to Guildhall Square on 19 July with an events programme, created in association with NST, Rees Leisure and City Eye, which is designed to cover an even wider gamut of tastes and interests. Whether it’s a game of volleyball with your friends or it’s arts and crafts as a family, this year’s event really does have something for all.

By day, the beach will host activities like yoga, kids beach soccer, crafts, volleyball, and kids’ cinema. By night, adults will be able to enjoy live music, theatre, comedy and quizzes. Most events will be free to attend and the beach will open every day from early morning to late evening.

The full programme will be announced in mid-June when it will also be published on www.seasideinthesquare.com This year a number of partners are getting involved from across the city, including YMCA who have partnered as the events “Official Community Partner” which this year celebrates its 175th anniversary. The charity are planning some exciting activities which will help beach goers understand how to live a happier, healthier life.

So dust off your flip flops, dig out your bucket and spade and book some beach time in your diary this summer!

For photos of last year’s event, visit: www.seasideinthesquare.com/photos/

Poetry Strip It is all About You. There is no me without you.

So as much as I fight to understand me, it is simple, me is you, and you is me.

How wonderful to have this realisation, it is all about you.

It is you, it is youand no one but you.

I love you. I love me as through me, I understand you.

Is it you that I understand or is it me? is there a you, or is it me?

It is about being one and not about you and me.

It is all about you.

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duabus rotis Tony Long

Bad Boy... to Fashion Icon... to Bad Girl.

The Rise & RISE of the Biker Jacket

THIS: SPORTY, CLASSIC AND GOOD LOOKING. STEIB AND ROYAL ENFIELD.

by Guru

Chalk Stream I walk and day dream, along a chalk stream A place so calm and tranquil, No talk, serene, reflected sunbeam; A place that leaves me thankful Crystal clear, downstream it sweeps; Babbling, riffling, dancing Lend your ear and it will speak, Entrancing whilst advancing See through like gin and cold to dip, A looking glass down to its bed So trees grow down, to take a sip And a thousand words are said The currents make, the weed fronds snake Seductive and beguiling, Seen through opaque, like a dancers shake, The reason why I’m smiling Dappled light, on a changing sight The flow means, no scene the same Birdsong delight, makes things seem right; A picture to grace any frame Light and dark green and all in between Woven around this meander Sights that I’ve scene, reflect on this sheen, Make me a privileged bystander Life lived in slow paces, underwater oasis This bank the best seat to observe, One of nature’s best places, where wildlife embraces Must do all we can to conserve

by Hugh Davey GOT A POEM? SEND IT IN! THEANDGUIDE@MAIL.COM

There was a time when motorcyclist’s ‘bad boy’ black leather jackets were frowned upon because of what they represented. To riders they represented protective clothing that would keep road surfaces at bay, should the need arise, and provide warmth when things got cold. Even when the jackets didn’t have lots of badges or (never me, ever) chrome studs, then eating and drinking establishments refused service – often, most offensively. About 35 years ago I was greeted with “get out, now” at one of the pubs by Swanwick marina because I was wearing a plain, unadorned, black, leather.

when buying one do some research and ask around.

A lot of rock musicians and fans also wear BLJs and many models have posed provocatively with a BLJ pulled off their shoulders to teasingly expose certain areas. I couldn’t pull my leather down over my shoulders, I have to breathe in to do the zip up!

I doubt most of us cared that society didn’t like us or our jackets, we enjoyed being rebels and looking bad or we could have worn more acceptable gear, like motorcyclist’s waxed cotton jackets that had large loops sewn inside the collar to take scarves. Barbours and Belstaffs weren’t

I doubt most of us cared that society didn’t like us or our jackets, we enjoyed being rebels and looking bad.

I’m talking about real biker’s black leather jackets (BLJs) like the mine in the photo, not the flimsy items that fashion ‘discovers’ every few seasons. Real ones have slightly too long sleeves so they don’t recede up the arm and let in cold and rain. The leather, on good BLJs is thick and needs breaking in before the jacket becomes fitted and comfortable.

Modern BLJs can have waterproof and/or heat reflective ‘foil’ like liners and can be fitted with protective armour to soak up bangs and scrapes whereas the originals relied on hefty cowhide. Horsehide has always been an option but as I’ve been around horses most of my life, I couldn’t wear equine skin. Go on, say it, “don’t care about cows then!” Actually I do but I’m a honest hypocrite, plain and simple. Other hides can be used for BLJs, so if you’re looking for the best option

fashion items, they were tough outdoor clothing. I wore my Belstaff over my leather when the weather got bad and although I was more acceptable, people wrinkled their noses when the wax got hot in shops and began to smell.

Professor Alice Roberts started off this train of thought when she appeared in a TV teaser for ‘Historic Towns’, in this case my birthplace - Clifton in Bristol. Prof Roberts was wearing a very tight BLJ with quilted shoulders and as we all are aware that is on trend (I believe that is the term?). My immediate thought was - could someone ride in a jacket that tight? And the next was - not only did I climb up and down the rock face of the Gorge when I was a kid but I walked over the suspension bridge to school. Last time I was there I couldn’t even face walking up to the bridge.

In the seventies, maybe earlier, blue leather jackets be-

didn’t resort to mentioning Brando in The Wild One or pop starlets Martin! [ Pity. Ed])

FOOTNOTE.

came available and the colour difference made all the difference, wear one of those and be seen as ‘okay’. And today almost any combination of colour schemes can be had in both biker and fashion jackets.

For me though, a leather is best in black, simply because it won’t show the dirt and as there are so many leather biker jackets being worn, I can’t imagine being chucked out of a pub nowadays. (And I

A closing thought. My good friend, Rick - he of the dark brown Furygan jacket - was riding his Beemer and doing all the right things when a large piece of metal was thrown up by the vehicle in front. Big, flat, lump (the metal, not Rick) hit the toe of his bike boot cutting straight to the bone and splitting toenail. If he’d been wearing soft shoes he might be down a few toes. Not preaching, just saying. [Ah see what you mean by Footnote. Like what you did there. Ed] TOP: Couple on bike. Cap - decorated jackets. Fab and treasured but sadly not welcome at many establishments.

CENTRE: Classic Jacket, my Highway Patrolman's jacket without any zip in liners although the lambswool collar is removable.

BELOW: A fab old newspaper. Yes really. No idea, but check out those names! Legends!

8th year for New Forest’s ‘friendly’ Festival

The New Forest Folk Festival is now in its’ eighth year and has been growing steadily - it is often referred to as “the small and friendly folk festival with the big line-up”.

With camping available, the idyllic farm location on the edge of the New Forest is for many, more a holiday break with music, than purely a music festival. You can even bring dogs.

It is a time to catch up with friends over a pint of real ale or a glass of Somerset cider along with delicious homemade food. Many of the artists now stay over for a few days to chat and network with their musician mates in a relaxed atmosphere. It has become a genuine gathering of the UK folk clan!

With its’ single stage at the bottom of a gentle slope the public can relax in their comfy chairs or get up close and enjoy a dance when inspired. A leisurely wander around the trade stalls or a visit to the bar is always rewarding.

Some guests like to sit and chill, while others get involved with the very popular free workshops and sing-arounds at the Woodland Fringe. There is a great range to choose from: such as slide guitar with PJ Wright, fiddle playing with Tom Leary, song writing with Reg Meuross, ukulele for beginners, poetry, Morris-dancing to name but a few.

Great line-up ... great fun ... great value.

For more info and tickets go to www.newforestfolkfestival.co.uk

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“WRITE ABOUT ANYTHING” he said! Well that narrows it down?

I think I’ll write about er ... me.

Hi, I'm Matt Black, Some of you may have heard my name (and some will have seen it on the side of a pot of paint!), but most will have not. I am a pianist/ comedian/ songwriter/record producer/radio host / columnist ... (see below).

How Does An Entertainer Get Gigs?

HERE’S ME WITH A TYPICALLY REVERENT AUDIENCE. [WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND THIS PICTURE AGAIN? I BET THEY’RE NOT EVEN REAL NUNS! ED] (After 27 years I realise I still don't actually know) It's the question, most asked of me when I'm at a music conference, or showcase, or similar., from young (and old), up and coming musicians, singers, magicians (in fact entertainers of every type).

The answer is that I really don't 'Know' the answer – and when trying to answer an eager, wide eyed, talented teenager, I find myself just reflecting on how lucky I've been and what factors contributed to that.

Over the last 2 and a half decades the average number of performances I've appeared at per week is 3.83, and although that only seems to cover just over half a week it's still quite a high average considering that the early days in the week (Monday to Wednesday) aren't often the days that entertainment is booked – it does happen occasionally though.

Some of that 3.83 will have been made up from regular gigs, playing background piano at a hotel in the early days 5 days a week – being a sort of musical wallpaper – these gigs don't pay well per gig, but weekly can provide both a fair income and exposure to someone looking for a pianist (in my case) at any number of occasions.

In fact I do recall a particular night where I was playing at Preachers in Lymington – The piano was famously fixed to the wall about 10 feet high, and the seat was swinging from the rafters above – Nuts, right?) but I digress – at one particular gig I was approached afterwards by a chap who said, 'Anyone who can follow Bach with Meatloaf is the piano player I want for my events' He was the Chief Exec of an events com-

pany based in London, and he sent me to gigs all round the world for Vodafone, Sony, and dozens of other huge companies. That was like a massive promotion and literally gave me gigs that earned 10 times what I was used to. I still went back to the local gigs in between those corporate events, because that's how you get seen. Still do today – never forget that the local level is where it all starts.

So I guess that's the answer – keep doing the small gigs till doors open to bigger ones – and then even bigger ones that that eventually you will get there!

It's taken me round the world, and I've played for everyone from beggars to Royals [And even by special request by the man himself for dear old Reg Dwight at his wedding, you modest young chap you. Ed] .

But seriously: Back in one of the old Chinese dynasties the towns had gongs that would be rung each two hours: At 8am once, 10am twice, noon thrice, 2pm four times, etc. The lawyers of the day would stretch out the trials as much they could to make more money.

But the judges became extremely bored with the status quo (we all did! Only kiddin ... still love the riff!) and went to the emperor, getting a proclamation that all trials would have to be concluded at 2pm.

Thereafter all trials ended with a four-gong conclusion.

Q: Why did the drummer cross the road?

A: To pick up dinner for the rest of the band!

Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher? A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

Q: What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?

A: You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.

matt-black.org

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HANGER FARM ARTS CENTRE Hanger Farm is a stunning, contemporary arts centre in a beautiful 17th century converted barn.

With a licensed bar, gallery and plenty of free parking, the venue makes for a relaxed and enjoyable evening out.

Situated just a couple of miles off junction 2 of the M27, Hanger Farm it is easy to get to and is open week-days and Saturday mornings, serving light lunches and delicious cakes in the café.

To top it all, the café is dog friendly too.

June & July highlights.

Thursday 6th June, 2:30pm THE BODYGUARD Tickets £6 A ‘Throwback Thursday’ film screening of the classic 1992 blockbuster starring Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston.

Sunday 16 June, 4:00 - 8:00pm NEW FOREST FILM FESTIVAL WINNERS’ SHOWCASE Tickets £3 A celebratory screening of the 20 winning short films from the New Forest Film Festival 2019.

Monday 17 June, 2:00pm and 7:30pm FIRST MAN - Tickets £8 / £6 A ‘Movie Monday’ film screening, featuring the riveting story of NASA’s mission to land a man on the moon, starring Ryan Gosling.

Wednesday 26 June, 7:30pm SIMON MORGAN AND SAX 4 Tickets £8.00 A fascinating insight into the characteristics and capabilities woodwind instruments followed by a lively set from the acclaimed Sax 4 quartet.

Thursday 27 June, 2:00pm ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER THE MAN AND HIS MUSICAL PRODUCTIONS Tickets £6.00 In this afternoon talk, Clive Tunley gives a fascinating review of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s most successful musicals. This is sure to be a toe-tapping, ‘fun-a-thon’ of an afternoon.

Thursday 27 June, 7:30pm JONNY AND THE BAPTISTS & JAYDE ADAMS Tickets £14 An Edinburgh Preview stand-up comedy show.

Jonny & the Baptists have regularly appeared on BBC Radio 4 including The Now Show, The Infinite Monkey Cage, and Sketchorama.

Jayde Adams has most recently been seen on 8 out of 10 cats does Countdown, Comedy Central’s Roast Battle and is soon to

be seen on BBC’s upcoming show Good Omens.

Friday 28 June, 8:00pm CARPENTERS EXPERIENCE Tickets £16 The UK’s leading Carpenters show, paying tribute to the amazing talents of Richard and Karen Carpenter. Seamless harmonies bring hits from ‘Close to You’ to ‘Please Mr Postman’ and dozens more to the stage.

Out of town... not out of touch!

Botley’s only trading standards approved and Which Trusted Trader garage

Monday 8 July, 2:00 & 7:30pm Stan and Ollie Tickets £8 / £6 A ‘Movie Monday’ film screening, featuring the story of Laurel and Hardy, the world’s favourite comedy double act, as they set out on a variety hall tour of Britain in 1953.

• ALL mechanical work undertaken • AUTOMATIC gearbox flushing

Wednesday 10 July, 7:00pm LOOKING DOWN ON ME Tickets £7 An enchanting, touching and uplifting puppetry performance for children aged 7+, their families and adults alike. Created by Unexpected Places in partnership with children’s bereavement charity, Simon Says.

Thursday 18 July, 7:30pm GARRETT MILLERICK AND GARETH RICHARDS Tickets £14 An Edinburgh Preview stand-up comedy show.

Garrett Millerick’s breakout 2018 show Sunflower became one of the best reviewed and most talked about shows of The Edinburgh Festival. Gareth Richards – as seen on Russell Howard’s Good News (BBC Three) and heard on BBC Radio 1 and Frank Skinner’s Absolute Radio show – has been hailed as a ‘quietly clever craftsman with a big future’.

Thursday 25th July, 7:30pm JACK BARRY AND ADAM HESS - Tickets £14 An Edinburgh Preview stand-up comedy show. Acclaimed stand-up Jack Barry has been appointed by his parents as their couple’s therapist. To save the marriage, he’s been reading up on sex, love and relationships, but is definitely still not an expert. Edinburgh Comedy Award Best Newcomer nominee, Adam Hess can’t imagine the Queen with wet hair and he can’t get his head around the fact his cat has a grandad. A show about how he almost ruined his life this year, leaving him with nothing, and how he’s trying to get it back on track.

Box Office: 023 8066 7683 www.hangerfarm.co.uk

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PICS FROM TOP: Carpenters Experience, Comedy: Adam & Jack Film: Stan and Ollie Looking Down On Me Liam White Little Big Band New Forest Film Festival Love Soul Choir

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the city’s best ... empowering the and guide

page 11

Stu’s cure for the ‘B’ word Stuart Davis

NELL BRYDON

RICHARD DIGENCE

RIVER ROOTS The shambolic soap opera of Brexit has proven that we live in times of great division in this country, with differing opinions, strong viewpoints and underlying tension all over the media.

Thankfully, we do still have live music to unite everyone, where you can indulge in some wonderful extravaganzas and events with likeminded people. With so many different genres and much variety, there is something to suit everyone.

Some of the biggest indoor magnetisms will be at THE 1865 including hi octane acoustic heavies ‘Porbeagles’, blues powerhouse ‘Danielle Nicole’ , the boisterous Servants of Science’, ethereal duo ‘Stargazey, reggae rockers ‘Jaya the Cat’, anarchist punk troupers ‘Subhumans’ and a spoonful of rappers delight with ‘The Sugarhill Gang’ and ‘Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel’. You will also want to get your hands on tickets for ‘Hands off Gretel’ with their tumultuous tangle of bubble-gum riffs and rebel swagger.

THE BROOK parades hotly touted singer songwriting princess ‘Arielle’, psychedelic cadets ‘Here and Now’ and homages to Oasis, Madness, Coldplay, The Stereophonics and Johnny Cash. At the Guildhall ‘The Real Thing’ and the voice of Rose Royce 'Gwen Dickey' aim to make you feel like dancing, ,The Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra and Inspiration Choir Southampton’ will be interpreting songs of Power and comedian ‘Stewart Francis’ will be driving into the punset.

Going full throttle at THE ENGINE ROOMS will be sharp tongued minstrel ‘Nick Lowe’, Avant-garde metallers ‘Mushroomhead’, New Orleans fusionists ‘Hot 8 Brass band’, Morrissey and Marr aficionados ‘The Smyths’, esoteric Polish rapper (and footballer apparently) ‘Quebonafide’ and a foray back to the 80's with a dj set from EastEnders finest ‘Martin Kemp’.

Fans of tight spandex, big hair and cheesy fist pumping singalongs can reminisce with ‘Rock of Ages’ at the Mayflower and dreamy pop duo ‘Deja Blu’ ,

the punktastic ‘Black Bullets’, DIY rockers ‘Yur Mum’ and Bournemouth’s ‘Capulas’ will lining up at the stage Door.

At THE LOFT sprightly girl gang ‘The Big Moon’, soul fuelled indie upstarts ‘The Xcerts’ and the highly regarded ‘Icon for Hire’ will be elevating audiences to new heights, and at Heartbreakers authentic Americana artist ‘Daniel Kemish’, rabblerousers ‘Single Mothers’ and the fiery ‘No Hot Ashes’ will be doing their thing.

The attentively pieced together web of charms at THE JOINERS encompasses the ballsy blissed out explosive sounds of ‘The Last Internationale’, the introspective debaucherous ditties of ‘Dune Rats’ , the dream like sounds and visuals of ‘Beach Baby’, the infectiously edgy ‘Nervus’, theatrical classic rocker ‘Frank Carducci’ and a melodic masterclass with ‘State Champs’. Local outfit ‘Miss Vincent’ will give you plenty of reasons not to sleep; ‘This is Hell’ will give you a hell of a night; ‘Thunderstruck’ will give the opportunity to relive the glories of Ac/dc. You can also throw some shapes to the boundless sounds of veteran dance duo ‘the Orb and indulge in the most fun live show you could imagine (apparently) with hardcore rockers ‘Arnocorps’.

The defiantly still standing FIREHOUSE welcomes covers gang ‘Hybrid’, brutal muthas Jonestown’, the intoxicating ‘Drunk Education’ and plays host to the mini Abysall Festival featuring some of your grandma’s favourites, ‘Gurt’, ‘Cybernetic’, ‘Witch Cult’, ‘Ritual King’, ‘Troll Mother’ and ‘Grim Ravine’. Americana craftsman ‘William Poyer’ and the flowing melodic vibes of ‘River Roots’ will be stepping up at the Platform Tavern, while Portuguese chanteuse ‘Gisela Joao and jazz supergroup ‘The Printmakers’ are the newsworthy attractions at the Turner Sims Hall.

Checking in at THE CONCORDE are ex stylistics singles ‘Eban Brown’, folk favourites ‘The Kilkennys’ and ‘Groove City’ who will be taking you on a trip to Boogie Wonderland.

There are also doffs of the cap to Thin Lizzy, Whitney Huston, Steely Dan, Eagles, Pink, Rod Stewart, Paul Weller, George Michael, Bob Marley, Mumford and Sons, Michael Jackson and Take That...and a smattering of jazz with ‘The Kamao Quartet’, ‘The Jives Aces’ and the ‘Golden Eagle Jazz band’.

If you prefer it more intimate then also check out: Browns, The Orange Rooms, The Stable, The Loft, The Frog and Frigate and their lovely new bar The Chalet (Eastleigh), Mettricks, The Hop Inn, The

JIVE ACES

SHONEN KNIFE

MORAG TONG

GWEN DICKY

brexit or remoaner, there is something out there to take away the EU blues over the next couple of months.

Alexandra, The Art House, The Hobbit, Mango No 5, The Steam Town Bar (Eastleigh), The Cricketers (Eastleigh), The Old George (Fair Oak), The Navigator (Swanwick), The Dolphin (St Denys), The Brewery Bar (Botley), The Clockwork Bar (Shirley), The Wheatsheaf (Shedfield), The Kings Head (Wickham), The Bird in Hand (Fareham), The Red Lion (Stubbington), Arty’s, The White Hart, The Gypsy Queen (all Gosport) and Jaggs at 119, The Royal Albert, Thatchers, The Jolly Sailor, Edge of the Wedge, The Golden Eagle, The Wine Vaults and The Barley.

guitar compositions with ‘Duende and Keith James’. Also, look out for Texan guitarist star ‘Hamilton Loomis’, of whom Guitar Player magazine proclaimed 'if blues rock and soul can be said to form a triangle, you’ll find him in the centre of it'.

Walls Park showcases ‘The Magic Numbers’, ‘Cassia’ ‘Larkins’ and ‘Djuno’ and Brockenhursts bacony sounding 'Smoked and Uncut' shindig welcomes ‘The Vaccines’, ‘Sister Sledge’, reggae legends ‘The Wailers’ and ‘Sam Henshaw’.

THE KINGS THEATRE gives us the ‘Pink Floyd and Bon Jovi experiences’, light entertainment with TV star ‘Jane Macdonald’ and comedian ‘Michael McIntyre.

Whilst you can celebrate the ‘Majesty of Queen’ and take a chance on ‘Gimme Abba’ at the New Theatre Royal.

The suns out (hopefully), so the big guns are out at the legendary ISLE OF WIGHT FESTIVAL, including ‘Noel Gallaghers High Flying Birds’, ‘George Ezra’, ‘Biffy Cyro’, ‘Fatboy Slim’, ‘Richard Ashcroft’, ‘Madness’, ‘Bastille’, fiery songstress ‘Lily Allen’, ‘James’ and ‘The Coral’.

AND absolutely don’t miss off the superb CHAPPEL SESSIONS in Netley where you can see world renowned Italian guitarist Andrea Valeri, one of Martin’s favourite artists Nell Bryden and nashville harmony powerhouse Royal South.

BOURNEMOUTH’S BIC opens its expansive doors to the Indie one direction’ ‘The Vamps’, the good vibrations of ‘The Beach Boys’, classical crossover crew ‘Il Divo’, funky rock shamen ‘Foals’ and the empress of soul ‘Gladys Knight’ whilst at the Old Firestation post hardcore crew ‘Hands Like Houses’ will be ramping it up.

THE WIMBORNE FOLK FESTIVAL invites to get jiggy to ‘False Lights’, ‘India Electric Co’, ‘The Atlantico’, ‘Ninebarrow’, ‘Polly Morris Band’, ‘Pronghorn’, ‘No Direction’ (not a one direction tribute act apparently!), ‘Murphys Lore’ and the marvellously named ‘Folkwits’.

THE RAILWAY in Winchesters’ timetable of treats includes fruity punk singer songwriter ‘St Pineapple’, raw riff driven rogues ‘Fuzzwalker’, cosmic turntablist ‘Jimi Needles’, country outlaws ‘The Jesse Drayton Band’ and the contagious refrains wrapped in funky synth vibes of ‘Roxi Drive’.

At THE FERNEHAM HALLS in Fareham, you can take a drive down memory lane with ‘The Roy Orbison story’, join the ‘Johnny cash roadshow’, delight in ‘Visions of Elvis’, ‘Believe the Cher songbook’ or go ‘Halfway to Paradise’ in the ‘Billy Fury story’.

After play off disappointment, [Dissapointment? Don’t you mean joy? Ed] Portsmouth may still be leagues behind the rest of the south coast when it comes to football but they definitely compensate in the music stakes. THE WEDGEWOOD ROOMS hosts the brilliant Barking bard ‘Billy Bragg’, cutting edge Japanese trio ‘Shonen Knife’, the thrusting jangly soulful pop punk of ‘Penetration’ and the 60s tinged fuzzy harmonious tremolo grooves of ‘Embrooks’ You’ll also witness ‘Nahko’ utilising music as a tool of empowerment and ‘Bemis’ breathing new life into the spirit of Woodstock.

THE PYRAMIDS has ‘Faith’ in ‘The George Michael legacy’ and the Portsmouth Guildhall you can get ‘Into the groove’, go ‘Beyond the Barricades’ with tributes to Madonna and Spandau Ballet, and indulge in surreal haunting poetry set to daring

CHAPLAIN’S CELLAR BAR greets gypsy folk punk ensemble ‘The Great Malarkey’, reggae collective ‘Lionstar’, ‘Clockwork Carousel and the distorted gospel of ‘Lady Windwoods Maggot’ whilst The Pavilion Theatre recalls the wartime sounds of ‘The Glen Miller Orchestra’.

The names in lights at THE LIGHTHOUSE in Poole will be rootsy riffmeisters ‘The Zoe Schwartz Blues Commotion’, Wet Wet Wet singer ‘Marti Pellow’, Folk duo ‘Hungry Town’ and Irish virtuoso ‘Sharon Shannon’.

PREFER IT OUTDOORS? THEN THERE ARE MULTITUDES OF FESTIVALS FOR YOU TO SAVOUR. LET’S ROCK, SOUTHAMPTON transports you back to the 1980s with ‘Billy Ocean’, ‘Marc Almond’, ‘Andy Bell (Erasure)’, ‘Shalamar’, ‘Belinda Carlisle’, ‘Nik Kershaw’, ‘Limahl’, ‘Captain Sensible’, ‘Westworld’, ‘Neville Staple Band’ and (the not so) ‘Musical Youth’.

EASTLEIGH’S LEGACY FESTIVAL includes start turns from ‘The General’, ‘Blink Daze’, ‘Hair Trigger’ and ‘Nick Tann’, meanwhile the gathering at Powells Farm, Plaitford boasts ‘Ralph Mctell’, ‘Oysterband’, ‘3 Daft Monkeys’ and ‘Richard Digance’.

WINCHESTIVAL (see what they did there?

[Yes. You’re so talented. Ed]) at North

The country’s friendliest festival sees its 8th year too with NEW FOREST FOLK FESTIVAL hosting over 20 acts including: folk icon Ralph McTell, Oysterband, Ashley Hutching Morris On Band and our very own superstar Matt Black. [Tell him you read his column. He’ll be as suprised as we are. Ed] Finally camp Bestival, now in its 3rd year of residency at Lulworth Castle, boasts a diverse line up including funksters ‘Nile Rogers and Chic’, ‘The Human League’, ‘Ash’, ‘Jess Glynne’, ‘Morcheeba’, ‘Goldie’, Shaun Ryders other gang ‘Black Grape’,‘Vengaboys’ and ‘Napalm Death’.

Safe to say this is probably the only time you will get the latter 2 on the same bill!

You also will not want to miss the fantastic ‘Elvana’, which introduces the genius concept of Elvis singing Nirvana songs...so expect to hear things like Heartbreak Hotel Shaped Box and Smells like Blue Suede Shoes.

So why don’t you switch off the television and radio, escape the bumbling buffoons going round in circles over Brexit and go out and enjoy some music the way it was intended to be played…live.

Keep it live people. Want to meet me?

Come and see my bands then.

www.mistamessy.com www.thinkermusic.co.uk www.andradio.co.uk

JUNE & JULY 2019

DOWNLOADED YOUR ‘FREE’ MUSIC APP YET? Available on Google Play and the App Store now.

www.andradio.co.uk

SHORT STORY

The Time Traveler and the Lift

by Paul Ridge Ironically, time is the one thing a time traveler can't control.

I mean, I can control it in one sense or else I wouldn't be able to travel in time at all, but I can't stop it or get more of it and that becomes a problem after a while.

Let's say I jump backwards to my youth out of sheer curiosity.

I might want to go back to my first day at school and hang around the playground to see my mother wipe away the tears as I rush off to play football for the first time with my new friends, barely giving her a second glance.

This one scenario takes planning and planning takes time : I need to look right to blend in, which means the right clothes, shoes and haircut; I need to avoid contact with anyone to limit any butterfly effect on the future, which means ideally a minimal amount of time spent in the vicinity, which in turn means finding a safe place to arrive and depart that's both out of sight and empty. This is always a risk because you never know whether anyone will be in any given spot when you travel. It's not like beaming down to a new planet in Star Trek : there's no Mr Spock to analyse the conditions and look for other life forms. I have to be in a specific place and hope for the best and that the spot I've chosen is the same as it was in the time that I travel to.

Suppose I choose a woodland setting - they're usually safe because there won't be too many people about and trees take decades to grow so the area doesn't change as much as somewhere more mad-made. The main thing to worry about is if there's anyone walking a dog or if there's been a change in the use of the land. So I check maps of the period and I go at night. I take minimal gear and a waterproof bag I can bury to hide any gear I feel I might need. I also take a map and mark where I land just in case. Depending on the period, phones don't work so well in the past because the majority of satellites weren't in space back then so GPS is hit and miss, plus I don't want to risk getting caught with one on me.

If I choose a building, it has to be one I know : my old school in this case is fine, though arriving at night means I normally need to shimmy through a window to get out and then hang around for hours, out of sight. Time again. It's ebbing away.

The clothes I bought to look the part took time. Ebay is great and charity shops can be just as effective, but certain vintage styles are expensive and looking your age is tricky.

Nowadays 50 is the new 30, but 50 in 1974 is like 70 in today's money. It took me three weeks to prepare for the time I did actually jump back to see my first morning at school.

It was worth it, because I lost my mum twenty years ago and to see her as I did when I was a child meant everything to me. She was our world back then and we were hers. It was funny seeing my sister, all bossy and chubby. She's not changed much, now I come to think about it, but the temptation to take a photo of us or to whip out the phone and film the moment was almost overwhelming. Kids today will have their entire lives backed up forever, but for our generation a grainy 8mm home movie was the best we could hope for.

Most of the time it was a tiny black and white snap, usually fuzzy, and almost always with a thick white border.

Right now, the reason I'm thinking about time is because I've time traveled to find I'm stuck in a lift in 1953 and it's been stationary for over two hours already. I'm halfway up the Empire State Building wearing a polyester suit I bought in a local thrift store and it's hot as hell. A married couple are arguing with each other and the embarrassed elevator operator is either looking at the floor, the ceiling or directly at me.

She's smiling that goofy smile that people use when something awful is happening right in front of them, only this time it's in a confined space where none of us want to be and there's nothing any of us can do about it.

I can't zap myself out of there - butterfly effect - and I can't talk to anyone because I'd then have to explain English accent and, as usual, I want to maintain minimal contact.

BOOK SIGNING: I'm pretending to be sick by popping throat lozenges every ten to fifteen minutes and the rate I've been doing that for means I probably will be sick or possibly even diabetic when I finally get back home.

Then there's the time lag : like jet lag but far worse. Baggy eyes is one thing, sleep deprivation another, but when you're physically ageing at least twice as fast as everyone else you know because in reality you're living literally two lives at the exact same time as them, people will start to question your lifestyle choices. For years I've feigned insomnia. Then I had a fictitious night-shift job. Then a second job in a casino. Now, I just say I have a condition that causes me to age prematurely.

It's not serious, more of a skin thing, you know ? Friends have suggested various creams and balms and at Christmas I'm showered with all kinds of ointments in wicker presentation baskets. I wouldn't mind but I'm only 29, at least in their eyes.

In reality, I'm 41, in my own life, on my own personal time-line.

I'm 41, looking 62 because this is 1953 but I feel 100.

I'm snapped from my half-asleep daydream when the husband finally loses it and slaps his wife hard across the face. As she falls, she actually bumps into me and I effectively break her fall but I can't stop her ending up in a heap on the floor of the elevator. The operator gasps and reaches for the phone for the umpteenth time but the man quickly places his big, caloused paw over her more delicate, manicured hand and puts a finger to his lips, shaking his head. The young black woman looks at me for help, for direction, for anything to get her out of this situation. This is a decade before Martin Luther King and I am just another middle-aged white man in a suit, trying to mind his own. Every bone in my body is screaming at me to put the man down, to teach him a lesson, to show him you can't treat other people that way. Yet every voice in my head is reminding me not to engage, not to enrage and - most importantly of all - not to influence the timeline.

So I double up in a coughing fit, wheezing like I really am a hundred years old as I remove my trilby and use it as a shield, ostensibly to protect the others from my germs but really it's to hide my face and give me a moment to think.

The other man then picks up the phone and enquires as to how long it'll be before we're moving again. As if nothing has happened, he smiles and replaces the handset at precisely the moment the lift surges gently upwards. Quickly, he helps his wife to her feet and brushes her down, smiling benignly at the static form of the operator who snaps out of it as she realises she's still at her post and will soon have work to do. I too bring myself back together, determined to find the nearest washroom as soon as we can get out of this tin can in order to return to my own time with as little damage done as possible.

I feel ashamed. I feel defeated and weak and pathetic. And this is how I usually feel whenever I come back from the past.

Such is the lot of the handful of us who do travel and who have travelled throughout eternity. We can only ever be observers. We can only ever stand by. We can only ever not get involved. If we step in, we may find that within a few moments we no longer exist and that is something none of us wish to experience.

It's the same reason why none of us ever travel forwards in time.

Given the nature of humanity, who among us would ever take that risk ?

Secret Southampton

BY MARTIN BRISLAND

OCTOBER BOOKS,

SATURDAY 15TH JUNE FREE ENTRY - 11AM-2PM To coincide with Independent Bookshop Week, local historian and qualified tour guide Martin Brisland will be in the shop talking about and signing copies of his hugely popular book ‘Secret Southampton’.

In this book he reveals the hidden history of Southampton, from the grisly locations of the Old Admiralty Gallows and other public executions at the Bargate to the medieval wine vaults beneath the streets that were used as air-raid shelters during the Second World War. Many notable characters have been associated with the city, including Benny Hill; Jane Austen; General Rosas, who helped create modern Argentina; and Admiral Jellicoe. As well as being the port of embarkation for the Titanic, the Pilgrim Fathers’ Mayflower sailed from Southampton. All this and more features in Secret Southampton as the author explores the little-known history of the city.

Southampton has been a major port on the Hampshire coast since the mediaeval period and the development of the docks in the 19th century saw the town (it became a city in 1964) expand massively. Thorneycroft established a shipbuilding yard for the Royal Navy in 1904 and the town’s strategic importance led to it being a target for aerial bombardment in World War, in which 70% of the buildings in the centre were destroyed. Rebuilt after the war, Southampton is now a thriving, populous metropolitan area. In this book author Martin Brisland reveals the hidden history of Southampton from the grisly locations of the Old Admiralty Gallows and other public exhibitions at the Bargate, to the mediaeval wine vaults beneath the streets which were used as air raid shelters during World War. Many notable characters have been associated with Southampton including Benny Hill, Jane Austen, General Rosas who helped create modern Argentina, and Admiral Jellicoe but the notorious such as the Kray twins have also visited. As well as being the port of embarkation for the Titanic, the Pilgrim Fathers’ Mayflower sailed from Southampton. Old Southampton was also a place of slums and overcrowding, epidemics of cholera and typhoid, and intense rivalry with neighbouring Portsmouth follow the dockers strike in 1890 when troops from Portsmouth were used to break the strike. All this and more features in Secret Southampton as the author explores the little-known history of the city.

It’s a fabulous read. Go and say “hello”!

Russell Cook

BOOKS red & rit There is nothing more inspirational than picking up a book about failure. AND particularly relevant to this issue, it proves that some who on the outside seem to shimmer with success living a life of perfection and tranquillity on every level, are actually underneath, just the same as the rest of us.

After a serious break up in 2017, Elizabeth Day began to think about the concept of failure, whether it was on a personal or professional level any level really. She began a podcast called unsurprisingly How To Fail in which she speaks to a range of people in the public eye about their experiences of failure and what has been learned. Some of these stories are incorporated into How To Fail: Everything I’ve Ever Learned From Things Going Wrong (4TH Estate £12.99). This is a searingly honest and thoughtful book that deals with mishaps and mistakes, at sport, at relationships at success even. There is a particularly moving chapter on Elizabeth’s experiences of going through IVF, its heartbreaking and the rawness of emotion that encompasses the grief of not conceiving jumps off the beautifully written pages.

Things do go wrong and we do learn from the lessons learned over time. However I doubt in a work situation, none of us have come face to face with a roadkill chef as he proudly cooks the author badger for dinner. Intrigued?

Get reading.

There is a sentence in Lost Dog (Ebury Press £16.99) that seals together all of us who have or have had dogs. “It is an inescapable fact that large tracts of my life and conversation are entirely dog led now.”

They do take over our lives; they love us unconditionally

as we do them. It’s a relationship of equals built on trust and joy. Before Kate Spicer got a dog, her life was to put it mildly chaotic, making a living as a freelance journalist things were a little haphazard, endless late nights and missed deadlines, and the only security was the love and support of her boyfriend Charlie. Woofy is a lurcher, a rescue dog and when Kate goes to see him for the first time, she knows, he knows and a bond develops, and Kate’s days are gradually transformed from the hedonistic party lifestyle to the calm of walks in the early morning and the encounters therein.

Before Woofy Kate was navigating life as if in an Escher painting up and own the stairs, back and forth, going nowhere very quickly. With the hound by her side M.C. Escher is becoming John Constable all hay wains and tranquil streams. Woofy is the security from the madness.

Then dog disappears, lost, gone, no sign, despair. Endless searches, “Woofy, Woofy!”

It’s a page turner; it’s a glorious literary treat and Woofy’s safe return?

Read the book, that’s an order. Please. It’s beautiful.

It hardly seems twelve months since Bryant and May’s latest adventure was solved. The seventeenth book from Christopher Fowler, THE LONELY HOUR (DOUBLEDAY £16.99) is as quirky and captivating as ever. The characters

in all their eccentric glory come vividly alive from the opening sentence and this tale takes the reader on a slightly different direction as we page turners discover the identity of the killer from the off which adds layers to the story as the mystery is broadened into why the killer is doing what they are doing?

London is again the centre of the action and Fowler as well as weaving another smart and intelligent crime tale adds to our knowledge of hidden and unexpected parts of the city. The tale ends with another puzzle that needs solving, a cliffhanger. Rest assured like at the end of a James Bond film, we are told Bryant & May will return.

Quite right.

I have never met anyone who is offended easily or rather will admit to being offended easily. We all present ourselves as fair even minded people, listening with understanding and generosity to a different point of view. Guardians of the moderate and good we all are. Tea and scrummy cakes all round to celebrate. Things gradually but surely changed of course with the advent of all forms of social media. The age of offence began, everyone is brave enough to protest, shout and rage against not just the machine but at everything and everyone when they can’t be seen or identified. The coward’s forum for complaint. Someone seen

crossing the road in odd socks, soon a tweet, or social media post will appear probably with an angry Emoji to accompany unintelligible rants at what non matching socks can do to a person’s sanity. In Identity Crisis (Bantam Books £20.00), Ben Elton who doesn’t go on about odd socks by the way, has produced a funny and thought provoking satire on this aspect of modern society. Detective Mick Matlock is an old school detective investigating a series of seemingly unconnected murders which bring him shouting and screaming into the present day and contact with various always protesting identity groups. Ben weaves interconnected tales of hash tags, public figures confessing to have misspoken, not to mention the travails of Love Island and the life of Samuel Pepys. Yes, the celebrated long deceased 16th century diarist is in the firing line because, well that would be telling. Ben has hit the hash tag on the head with this enlightening and telling story of what not to say or do next. Offended? Maybe. Food for thought on the way society is heading or has already arrived at? Definitely.

Russell’s Blog , Brave New World is at www. therewriteman.wordpress.com

GREEN COLUMN

Or you a barstool moaner? Or do you actually want to do something? Then do it. Turn a light off. Hell... go mad and turn 2 lights off! Turn standby plugs off, boil less for a cup of tea. Recycle. Don’t insist on bleedin’ fresh fruit everyday from another continent. It aint healthy, it’s actually very slowly killing your kids! Don’t let your children Amongst all the billions of planets known to man, there is still only one known ask you “Hey Mum and Dad, what’s a wild animal?” to support life. It’s this one. Let’s look after it ... be stupid not to?

Martin Perry Been watching Chernobyl? What a great piece of TV Drama it was. The only trouble being that it’s not a drama ... it’s a fact. And we’re still building them. Extinction capable devices across our little planet ... across our tiny country. What was your scariest bit? Mine’s a the bottom of the page.

WE LIKE THIS ONE!

& WE LIKE THIS ONE!

My scariest bit? The fact that it was denied as having happened, even when it was and obvious that it had, because it was ‘impossible!’. Interestingly I hear that Russia is making its own Chernobyl drama series, which blames the disaster on the US. We don’t seem to be learning do we?

BUT WE DON’T LIKE THIS ONE!

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THE MUSIC BIZ according to Barry Upton

WITH MY

ORCHESTRA PROTOCOL Barry Upton Our resident pop guru Barry is a multi international hit songwriter/producer/performer. Initially a front singer with Brotherhood Of Man he’s worked with a multitude of household names including being creator of the lovable pop outfit STEPS, penning their massive hit 5678 and with his mate and editor of this ‘ere paper, previously co-hosting the AND Magazine Show on Radio Hampshire. He’s currently a TV & radio presenter and producer in Thailand, still performing and a double #1 Chart buster in 2018 ... twice!

Being a big fan of orchestras and the amazing sound produced by so many individual instruments in strict harmony with each other, the element that always fascinates me is the discipline and etiquette that is essential for a top performance. For instance, it is impossible to be a left handed string player. You will never see a violin, viola, cello, or any bowed instrument played left handed. Why? This is because all the bows must point in the same direction to avoid clashing. Aha, you never thought of that did you?

I recently spotted the lead violinist of a Symphony Orchestra break a string. In an instant, he swapped instruments with the violinist next to him leaving them to try to play with three strings only. Protocol/etiquette.

There are many reasons why the way a pop or rock band playing together is far removed from the classical musician’s style although many a guitarist, drummer or vocalist could learn a lot from some of the do’s and don’ts that I’ve assembled here.

FOR INSTANCE: Arrive in plenty of time, at least 15 minutes before rehearsals and learn your material thoroughly.

TOP: DANNY KAYE ARRIVES ON STAGE. NOTE: ALL RIGHT HANDED VIOLINISTS. CENTRE: A SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA BELOW: CLEARLY THIS YOUNG LADY HASN’T READ THIS ARTICLE. Observe dynamics, i.e. soft or loud, especially extreme soft dynamics otherwise you might stick out and destroy the effect for the whole section.

It’s better to follow your section, even if your leader is wrong, than to strike out on your own if he or she has entered at the wrong spot. Hopefully you have a good leader who isn’t wrong very often, preferably, never.

No matter how tempted you may be to take your finger and “thump” on an instrument in the percussion section, don’t. In fact, refrain from walking through the percussion set up at all.

Bring cough drops in case you or someone else has a coughing attack.

If you must choose between getting all the notes, or getting the beats, choose the beats.

If you have to completely fake a section, get the bowings in sync with your section at the very least.

Know which notes and exposed sections exist for your part and learn them to the best of your ability.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes or ask questions.

Keep your ears and eyes open and your mouth shut.

Don’t be the loudest player in the group unless asked for.

Check with your stand partner that you’re both sitting comfortably and able to see the music clearly.

When the oboe plays 440 Hz at the beginning of rehearsal or after a break, stop what you are doing and be silent. He/she is setting the tuning tone. Tune only when it is your section’s turn to tune.

Arrogance wins no friends. A pleasant attitude makes for a player that others want to have around.

Watch the section leader carefully for bowings, length of notes, style of bowing, etc...

When you are done tuning sit quietly until all others are done.

Make sure your case is properly stored.

If you have a question, you ask the section leader and not raise your hand to pose questions to the conductor. If the leader of your section can’t answer your question he or she should pose the question to the conductor.

Do not practice while others are tuning. Tune quietly and not loudly.

Be kind to your neighbouring musician at all times.

Be sure you can clearly see the conductor.

Count the notes and bars carefully.

Listen, not just to your own part, but to everything else that is going on around you. Be respectful of other people’s space.

Dont talk or whisper if the conductor is talking or rehearsing other sections and you re not playing.

Play with confidence and don’t be ashamed of messing up, keep your cool and be aware of what’s going on.

Begin by tuning your note of A until everyone has done so then proceed to tune the rest of your instrument.

Don’t practice loudly before rehearsal so that everyone can hear how great you are. Many will hate you immediately. Look over your part and practice softly instead of showing off or do some quiet warm-ups. Play scales, arpeggios, your part, or whatever you need to play to feel ready.

Don’t text or surf your phone (or any other electronic mobile device) when the conductor is working with another section. Instead, pay attention to what he/she is telling the other section.

Do not wear perfume/cologne, or at least limit the amount. Some people are allergic.

Do not handle other people’s instruments unless they offer you.

Play with both your feet on the floor and never crossed.

Make sure that your violin/viola is not directly in the line of sight of your partner. They need to see the notes on the music sheet.

Try to always have your instrument in top condition, carrying an extra set of strings and be sure your bow hair is in good condition.

Keep your focus up by sleeping well the night before a performance, and eating right. Bananas are good for nerves if you get nervous before a concert, though if you don't have a solo there's not really much reason to feel nervous. Your colleagues are all there and you have nothing to fear if you know your parts inside out.

For women - be careful what kind of skirts you choose if you’re more comfortable sitting with your legs apart to play.

If you can’t play your part learn how to air-bow (i.e., look like you are playing when you’re not – when the going is too tough) because one person playing wrong is still heard under ten playing correctly. Even some professional orchestral musicians fake things from time to time.

Last but not least, whether in a pop/rock/jazz band or a full orchestra, smile and have fun.

The audience will always be responsive to a great attitude.

Extra tip: Don’t get too highly strung. (Ah ... like what you did there. Suprised though you left out ‘Don’t put stuff on top of gear waiting for you to load into your van after a gig. I seem to recall you used to get a little highly strung on occasions. Ah... how I miss those 300 mile roundtrip nights for a tenner. Ed)

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LIVE STUFF Paul Ridge

It’s beginning to feel a lot like er ... hang on ... I think I’ve started this way before? Good. A load to get through this issue so let’s just get stuck in!

RECORDED STUFF

ELO AGAIN The Brook, Friday 3 May 2019 That Jeff Lynne's a divisive chap, isn't he ? Not content with having two versions of his own band out there (his original and drummer Bev Bevan's ELO II) there are at least three tribute acts on the circuit as well, including the ELO Experience and tonight's visitors to The Brook, ELO Again. I'd seen the former at Salisbury City Hall about five years ago and enjoyed the show but felt it was a little too polished and knew that quite a few sections of the music were pre-recorded, plus the lead singer was only miming playing the guitar. He sang everything and looked right but there was a proper guitarist stood alongside him doing most of the work.

So going into tonight I wondered how organic ELO Again would be and also just how much of a draw this particular tribute band could be, given it's such a crowded market.

Well, I didn't need to worry about the second point at all because I'm happy to report The Brook was jammed pack. The great thing about this brilliant venue is that you can move even when it's full.

When I say that I mean it in every sense: you can dance, you can mingle and you can get to the bar and back. It helps that there's often a party atmosphere - and there definitely was tonight - and that the place still feels like a local despite staging some of the biggest names in showbiz down the years. It also helps that the design of the building adds to that experience, with a cosy low ceiling for the punters and a high, broad stage for the artists.

As for the question of the band's veracity, I was more than satisfied : this is a real live group performing with energy, effort and enthusiasm. There are still a couple of pre-sequenced sections - sound effects mainly for the intro's on two or three tracks from the Out Of The Blue and Time albums - but things like the robotic-sounding vocoder-voiced "Mister Blue Sky", "Horace Wimp" and "All Over The World" are an actual person speaking into the vocoder mic itself, which I found added an extra level of authenticity - and fun, as I always wanted one of those things to play with myself.

things like the robotic-sounding vocoder-voiced "Mister Blue Sky", "Horace Wimp" and "All Over The World" are an actual person speaking into the vocoder mic itself, which I found added an extra level of authenticity While Lynne himself is an ultra-perfectionist producer extraordinaire - he recently re-recorded his own Greatest Hits album using modern technology and it sounded too sterile for my ears - and there have been accusations of over-production on both ELO records and with The Beatles' lost tapes that Lynne worked on (Free As A Bird, etc) there must have been a point in their history when they were just a good oldfashioned rock and roll band .. and that's precisely what you get with ELO Again.

Once or twice they sounded a bit wobbly - there's only so much falsetto a grown man can produce on any given evening, after all - but their sheer enjoyment of being up on that stage, playing hit after hit after hit, songs that people have grown up with, fallen in love to and passed on through generations, outweigh any minor quibbles about their sound. This is a live performance of some of the most complicated popular music ever and for the most part they nailed it. I have to take my hat off to the band's musical director and synth wizard, Andy Smith, who puts the shows together. Frontman Joel Jordan is one of the happiest lead singers I've ever seen and although he might not be a pure soundalike, he's close enough and plays all the guitar parts himself, while violinist and surprise backing vocalist - operatic is the word - Ruth Potts is incredible and steals the show on more than one occasion.

The whole band is tight, they obviously love what they do and every single one of them is a full-time professional musician. Playing a repertoire that spans the golden era of ELO's back catalogue from 1972-1986, including Roll Over Beethoven, Livin' Thing, Telephone Line, Mr Blue Sky, Sweet Talking Woman, Confusion, Shine A Little Love, All Over The World, Hold On Tight and Rock n Roll Is King, every single tune is a hit record and the crowd sang along throughout the night, dancing to the uptempo numbers and holding phone-torches aloft for the ballads. Looking around the room I saw only smiling faces and people having a good time.

I know I've said this before, but you can't beat live music in a great venue like The Brook. ELO Again are fantastic fun and it was a great evening's entertainment.

Remember : use local venues or lose them. What are you waiting for ?

TAL WILKENFELD Love Remains Aussie bass-player Tal Wilkenfeld has worked with an impressive number of major artists including Jeff Beck, Prince, The Allman Brothers, Herbie Hancock and Mick Jagger yet at 32 this is only her second album as a solo performer. Given the first was an instrumental, this really is a leap of faith for her as she embarks on a new career as a singer-songwriter, but she's not alone having enlisted producer Paul Stacey (Oasis, The Black Crowes) and guitarist Blake Mills, plus keyboardists Benmont Tench (Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers) & Zac Rae (Death Cab For Cutie).

Unsurprisingly, it's primarily a rock album with the first few tracks evoking the 90s grunge era with chunky slow-burner Corner Painter bringing Alice In Chains to mind. Hard To Be Alone reminded me of Wolfmother in that while being mid-tempo the level of menace was always there, as if ready to explode at any moment. Tal's voice is really impressive on this song, as she shows her range before rocking out as the guitar solo kicks in. Part early Heart, part Rush, the vibe is distinctly retro and it's an instantly likeable album for rock-heads, yet also one that should prove to be a grower the more you listen. Comparisons with the likes of Garbage are inevitable but there's more to Tal than meets the eye and one of the most surprising tracks

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on Love Remains is Haunted Love, featuring mainly her own electric bass and a plaintive vocal. It's a beautiful song and she continues this lighter direction into the mainly acoustic Love Remains, another highlight, that builds up slowly as the rest of the band join in.

I know I've labelled this as a rock album, but the singer-songwriter element really is key with several of the songs offering changes of tempo and instrumentation. Album closer Pieces Of Me could almost be described as a country crossover with strings and pianos to the fore. Overall, it's a great debut from a serious new talent.

RICHARD HAWLEY Further Richard Hawley is one of those great English songwriters who seem to fly under the radar and yet this is his eighth solo outing in his twentieth year as a solo artist. Along with the likes of Edwyn Collins and Lloyd Cole, you get the impression he could walk down any high street in Britain and not be bothered by a single soul - and secretly I'm sure all three prefer it that way.

He's an interesting artist, crafting albums that are polished yet wholesome, carving a niche somewhere in the netherworld between nostalgia and commerciality which means his sound is both vintage and current all at the same time. He ranges from acoustic pop to rockabilly, strolling through easy listening along the way but you could never call his music boring. My Little Treasures sounds like Pulp, Alone like Morrissey on top form, Off My Mind like Arctic Monkeys, while on Is There A Pill he really rocks out : a grungey, guitar-heavy, legs-akimbo stomper.

I don't think Further is going to win Hawley any new fans but for his faithful followers it's another classy record from (whisper it) a national treasure.

MAC DEMARCO Here Comes The Cowboy I'm not really sure what to make of Mac DeMarco. This is the Canadian multi-instrumentalist's fourth solo album but I'd never heard of him till I got sent a copy for review. He plays almost everything himself, barring keyboard parts, and describes his sound as "jizz jazz" though slacker rock would perhaps be a more typical genre label.

All his gear - the instruments and recording equipment in his own studio is vintage and he tapes everything on old reel-to-reel machines.

FONTAINES D.C. I'm amazed he ever gets anything

done, mind you : he sounds so laidback he's almost falling over ..

The vibe is lazy. The tempo is down.

The groove is steady.

Think Jack Johnson on sedatives.

Lenny Kravitz as a pensioner. Marc Bolan at 16rpm.

And yet, there in the middle of the album there's a song that made me sit up and start laughing out loud. It's 2:40 of him just playing a Nile Rodgers style funk guitar break backed up by a fat bass and what sounds like a kids toy whistle. It's called Choo Choo and is basically an interlude of him pretending to be a train. I love it. I just wish it wasn't such a throwaway track, almost an afterthought, because on this form he's interesting and fun.

The rest of the album almost feels like it's asleep.

Don't get me wrong, the guy can play and his voice has a soulful vibe to it .. it's just the material feels like he's just jamming and a bit too forgetable to be put out as a release.

Maybe I'm being a bit harsh, but the only other track that stood out was Heart To Heart, a kind of late night slow-dance groove with a subtle layer of electric piano underpinning the usual bass and vocal stylings. It's one of those songs with unusual key changes and a constant percussive refrain that sounds like it was banged out using a couple of bits of wood he found lying around outside.

I'm only half-joking when I say that, too ..

LAPP Farfalla EP I don't know much about LAPP but he cites Springsteen, Joni Mitchell, classical, punk, folk, jazz, soul and electronica as major influences on his sound. That covers a few bases, but don't worry : he doesn't attempt all of them. Instead, his sound is very sparse, maximising the impact of his voice as it's set against a curious blend of acoustic and brass instruments accompanied by minimal keyboards and synths. It's less music and more soundscape, if that makes any sense ? It actually sounds like he's painting with his voice. On one track you can hear him clear his throat. He must have deliberately left it in and it actually adds to the effect of what he's trying to do, in that he's presenting himself warts and all .. and for some reason it works. I like the record. It's highly original, quite unusual but always interesting. That voice is a blend of vulnerability and gravel, one moment almost wavering, the next an inch from roaring. The instrumentation is superb throughout, with Mockingbird Rain a particular stand-out. I'm a sucker for stand-up bass and this song has it in spades, along with some or-

ganic acoustic guitar, tom-toms, gentle electric guitar and .. well, give it a listen. This is a brilliant EP that I keep coming back to, so here's hoping an album isn't too far away.

a pure downtempo, dubtastic Cypress Hill-esque head-nodder.

Grime isn't for everybody but there's a lot more to it than chavs pimping their Fiestas and turning the bass up loud - if you're open to hip-hop give this a go.

shacked up with a midwestern gal rather than a bonkers artist from Tokyo. There's shades of Neil Young, Bob Dylan and Springsteen at his most country all over this album and it's perfect for a late evening summer listen.

JOEY LANDRETH SCOTT LAVENE Hindsight ROMAN CLARKE Broke Scorcher Canadian rocker Joey Landreth is clearly influenced by compatriot Bryan Adams, with a mainstream sound laced with cutting guitar-work and plenty of hooks. When he rocks out he can really play yet he possesses a pure soft rock voice that also brings to mind Darryl Hall, especially on the poppier numbers like lead single, Crying. It's a deceptive song because it starts out as a fairly standard pop-rock outing before morphing into a more bluesy anthem. There's touches of Steve Ray Vaughan here and Tedeschi Trucks Band there, too, adding more rootsy elements to the overall commercial feel of the album. If you're familiar with The Jeff Healey Band, you'll know the kind of thing I mean, though this is much more commercial-sounding.

Co-produced with fellow Winnipeg artist Roman Clarke, featured below, Hindsight has a lot of soul and is one of those instant classics, an easy listen and makes great driving music. The Hall & Oates reference is perhaps the strongest I could make in that it's a difficult to classify, easy to listen to and consistently optimistic record.

FLOWDAN Full Metal Jacket East London grime artist Flowdan is part of the Roll Deep Collective and Full Metal Jacket is his third release as a solo artist.

This is some serious stuff, chockful of attitude, highly inventive lyrics and loads of current references, talking about social media, life on the streets and the political and economic landscape of the UK. It's striking to hear a British voice covering the issues normally associated with American rappers and it only makes me realise how little Brit rap I've heard. It's angry, it's threatening and yet at times it's also mesmerising and highly creative. Deal Wid sounds like an aural horror movie with a haunting piano line reminiscent of a Wes Craven flick and with vocals to match as Flowdan goes down low, channeling a kind of demonic Barry White out for revenge. Welcome To London is a starkly brilliant slice-of-life musical essay where nobody trusts anyone and you always need to watch your back.

Coldest is an old skool vibe with a staccato delivery, while Weed Soak is

Producer, multi-instrumentalist and all-round creative force, Roman Clarke made a motorbike out of various parts he mixed and matched as a teenager, including bits of an old lawnmower. He named his metal steed Scorcher and it served him well and now here he is, applying the same Heath-Robinson selfsufficiency to his first solo outing, having had a hand in plenty of other people's records during his career to date. Writing every line, playing every instrument and singing all the lyrics himself, Scorcher is clearly a labour of love and I'm happy to tell you it's been well worth the effort. It's ostensibly an RnB album, but with a difference : there's a lot of acoustic, organic sounds on here and his voice is spectacular. It reminds me of a way less commercial, much more varied John Legend record.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate Legend but it's all a bit samey and I need a bit more variation, personally. Clarke has more of a Teddy Riley/Blackstreet ethos in that he controls everything but really stirs that soul pot up, producing a smorgasbord of sounds to munch on as he goes ..

Stand-outs include the uptempo bouncer, Faithful Man, which is so catchy it should go viral, the gospel-influenced Next Time, heartfelt ballad Over Again and the album opener, Someday : a clap-along anthem that really kicks off the whole album beautifully.

FRANKIE LEE Middle America has often been the subject of many an art form and in the notes that accompany this album, singer-songwriter Frankie Lee says it's a "record of life". He means it in the most literal sense as well as more obviously as a permanent sound recording.

Stillwater is his home town, nestled in the valley between two hills and he's been running to and from it his entire life. The vibe is retro : think Marlboro skies, driving for hours in a battered pick-up with only the radio and a faithful hound for company and you're more or less there. There's plenty of slide guitar, warm vocals and lilting melodies throughout, none more poetic than the beautiful In The Blue, an instantly memorable ballad that sounds like the kind of song a mellow John JESSE MAC CORMACK Lennon may have written if he'd

I'd never heard of Scott Lavene when I got sent this - a bit of a theme for this issue - but when I played through the album I couldn't stop grinning. Imagine Mickey Flanagan making a record, or perhaps Phil Daniels performing for a whole LP rather than the odd cameo on a single and you're on the right lines.

Unashamedly singing in a geezerish cockney accent throughout, Broke kicks off with the wryly funny My Stereo, as Lavene mocks .. well, pretty much anything and everything, saying the only thing that matters is how to turn on and listen to some music because the world, quite clearly, has gone mad.

He's not interested in what you had for your dinner, or what your politics are but he wouldn't mind if you told him about what you're listening to.

Apples and Pears continues the anarchy, with tongue very firmly in cheek. The lyrics are, again, highly amusing and yet the whole sound is kinda 60s kitsch - like a very early David Bowie outing. Another stand-out is the uptempo Super Clean, which sounds a lot like Sparks at their most playful. It's not all whimsical nonsense though : Moonbeams is a fairly straight love song, albeit with a quirky, very English delivery. Actually, I'm lying because it only sounds superficially normal - the subject matter is as beautifully batty as ever.

What I love most about Scott Lavene is the impression that he doesn't care. This sounds like something he needed to do, a musical journey that he had to make possibly only for himself. I've played it to a few other people and they've looked at me nonplussed so it's clearly not for everyone but if you enjoy something a little offthe-wall with a Kinks kind of mindset then try it on and see if it fits.

NOTICE If you think your band might be worth covering, head to our Facebook page:

www.facebook.com/theandguide and say “hello” and give us the details of your next gig, album, website, etc and we'll see what we can do.

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29th June - Jonestown:

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Sat 15th TBC Sat 22nd Hybrid Local classic metal favourites playing Maiden, Metallica, Judas Priest and more!

Sat 29th Jonestown + End Of Salvation + support A brutal lineup of original metal! £3 OTD JULY Fri 5th

27th July - Gurt

FIREHOUSE, VINCENTS WALK, SOUTHAMPTON SO14 1JY Bar Telephone: 07938 019 123 Bar Email: firehouse.southampton@gmail.com Bookings Email: head.on.promotions@gmail.com

OPEN: Mon - Thu: 12pm - Late / Fri & Sat: 12pm - Late / Sun: 12pm - 12am ( Firehouse is a strictly 18+ venue after 6pm! )

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Sat 6th - MNDA Fundraiser: Bifrost + Unhinged + Jen Wilson A charity fundraiser with every penny raised going to the Motor Neurons Disease Association! £5 OTD Fri 12th Stone Free | Superb 3-piece 70's psychedelic/classic rock covers band!

Sat 20th TBA

Sat 27th ABYSALL FESTIVAL: Gurt + Cybernetic Witch Cult + Ritual King + Tuskar + Morag Tong + Sail + Victus + Troll Mother + Grim Ravine An all day festival featuring some of the UK's finest stoner/doom/sludge!

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pagejune 19 and

The AND Guide to: Finding a GREAT BREAKFAST!

To make sure you’re in the next one email me at:

Apparrently our most talked about feature ... STILL! Which makes me wonder if I should sack everybody? This started as a moan.

Me whinging about not knowing more than a couple of decent places to get a decent breakfast... at breakfast time!

In time I hope to include everywhere locally that serves a decent breakfast. But if you’re not here my apologies, its down to one of 7 things: it’s a beer, you didn’t tell me, I don’t know about you, I don’t think its any good, I forgot, or you won’t give me a breakfast in exchange (research) Ed :), or it doesn’t stock The AND Guide.

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THE HIDEAWAY, BLACKFIELD

UPTONS OF BASSETT 351 Winchester Rd, Southampton SO16 7DJ 023 8039 3959 STAKKS PANCAKE HOUSE Marlands Centre (Upstairs), Southampton SO14 7SJ 023 8178 3660 CAFE CREME 31 Bedford Place, Southampton SO15 2DG 023 8023 6616 GENTING CLUB (12AM - 3AM) Terminus Terrace, Southampton SO14 3FE 023 8058 1872 KATE'S CAFE LOUNGE 227 Portswood Road, Southampton SO15 2NF 023 8058 1872

SPEEDY’S BURGER BAR, CHANDLERS FORD BON SANTE, SHIRLEY

OZZY CAFE Harley Davidson, Heritage House, Second Avenue Southampton SO15 0LP

THE DOLPHIN (FROM 10AM) High Street, Botley 01489 782014

RIVERSIDE DINER 13 Manor Farm Rd, Southampton SO18 1NN 023 8067 7569

THE BOAT HOUSE CAFE Swanwick Marina, Swanwick SO31 1ZL 01489 885745

SCHOLARS ARMS 130-132 Above Bar Street, Southampton SO14 7DU Tel: 02380 225 464 JACKPOT CAFE Portswood Road, Southampton SO17 2TD 023 8032 2079

THE VILLAGE BAKERY & TEA ROOM 48 Warsash Road, Warsash SO31 9JA 01489 574747

COFFEE CORNER, BOYATT WOOD ASDA Bournemouth Road, Eastleigh SO53 3YJ

BERT & ERNIE’S CAFE & TEAROOM Unit 8, Shedfield Nursery & Equestrian, Botley Road, Shedfield SO32 2HN

CONCORDE CLUB, Stoneham Lane, Eastleigh SO50 9HQ 023 8061 3989

THE NAVIGATOR 286 Bridge Road, Lower Swanwick SO31 7EB 01489 572123

ROMSEY

JENNY’S CAFE High Street, Hamble-le-Rice SO31 4HA 023 8045 5771

METTRICKS GUILDHALL From 7:30 Mon-Fri, 9am Sat/Sun 1 Guildhall Place, Guildhall Square, Southampton SO14 7DU Tel: 02380 710583

PARKLIFE CAFE 133 Church St, Southampton SO15 5LW 023 8077 9763

ANNIES CAFE 14 Portsmouth Road, Woolston SO19 9AA 023 8042 1200

METTRICKS WOOLSTON 8 Centenery Plaza, Woolston, Southampton SO19 9UE 023 8084 6176

BON SANTE 25 Shirley High Street, Southampton SO15 3NL facebook/bon-sante-cafe

CENTRAL COFFEE Central Hall, St Mary Street, Southampton SO14 1NF

SWEET CORNER CAFE 19-23 Commercial Road, Southampton SO15 1GF 023 8082 9189

HALLADAYS TEA ROOMS 6 Bedford Place, Southampton SO15 2DB 023 8078 6921

EASTLEIGH & NORTH

CAFE FRESH 9 Market Place Romsey SO51 8NB 01794 522602

SIDEWALK SOUTH 24 High Street, Southampton SO14 2DF 023 8022 2323

THE RETRO DINER 281 Shirley Road, Southampton SO15 3HT 023 8078 6921

HAM FARM HARVESTER Twyford Rd, Eastleigh 023 8061 9181

THAT LITTLE TEA SHOP 48a The Hundred, Romsey SO51 8BX 01794 519852

CXO Nelson Gate, Frobisher House, Southampton SO15 1GX 023 8023 8181

CAFE REFLECTIONS 25 Shirley High Street, Southampton SO15 3NL 023 8077 8878

SPEEDY’S BURGER BAR School Lane, Chandlers Ford SO53 4DG 07830 118402

ADMIRAL SIR LUCIUS CURTIS Canutes Pavilion, City Centre, Southampton SO14 3JS 023 8038 8940

GEORGE'S CAFE & RESTAURANT 9 Church Street, Shirley, Southampton SO15 5LG

PETER GREEN COFFEE SHOP School Lane, Chandlers Ford SO53 4DG 023 8026 9011

THE CROMWELL ARMS PUB & HOTEL Mainstone, Romsey SO51 8HG 01794 519515 NICOLA'S TEA SHOP 8 Latimer Street, Romsey SO51 8DG 01794 523009 WEST BIG BLUE CAFE New Forest Enterprise Centre, Chapel Lane, Totton SO40 9LA 023 8066 6608 THE HEATH Beaulieu Rd, Dibden Purlieu, Southampton SO45 5PW 023 8084 2275 NICE NOSH 50 Rumbridge Street, Totton SO40 9DS 023 8087 0242 THE PILGRIM INN Hythe Road, Southampton SO40 4WU 023 8086 7752 THE HIDEAWAY 183 Hampton Lane, Blackfield 074 2907 86617

CAFFE MOMENTO Unit 2 Guildhall Square, Southampton SO14 7FP 023 8023 3717 THE SQUARE ARTISAN CAFÉ 157-187 Above Bar Street, Southampton SO14 7NN 023 8031 9007 WHITE STAR TAVERN, Oxford Street Southampton SO14 3DJ0 023 8082 1990 RETRO CAFE 34 Bedford Place SO15 2DG 0782 890 8382 SELCO Millbrook Industrial Estate, Second Avenue, Southampton SO15 0ND 023 8052 2850

CAFE PARISIAN 64 High St, Lyndhurst SO43 7BJ 023 8028 4546 HOCKEY’S FARM SHOP CAFE South Gorley, Fordingbridge SP6 2PW (8am - 6pm) 01425 652542 EAST THE FORUM DELI Solent Busines park, Whiteley, Fareham PO15 7AD BAKERY Whiteley Shopping, Whiteley, Fareham PO15 7PD 01489 564 445 THE ALMA (from 9am) Alma Lane, Upham SO32 1HE COFFEE HOUSE High street, Bishops Waltham SO32 1AA 01489 896990 VINEYS WHOLESOME FOOD 6 High Street, Botley SO30 2EA 01489 797781

SAINSBURYS HEDGE END Tollbar Way, Hedge End SO30 2Uh SAINSBURYS SHIRLEY 1 Redcar Street, Southampton SO15 5LL

WHITE SWAN Mansbridge Road, West End, Southampton SO18 3HW 023 8047 3322

BAY LEAVES LARDER 87-91 Hiltingbury Road, Chandlers Ford SO53 5NQ 023 8025 2310

SAINSBURY'S PORTSWOOD 224 Portswood Road, Southampton SO17 2LB

HURSLEY CAFE 4 Hursley Road, Chandlers Ford, SO53 2FU 023 8025 2550

THE YELLOW WELLY Shamrock Quay, SO14 5QL 023 8022 3535

KAT’S KAFE 5 High St, Eastleigh SO50 5LB 023 8178 1211

WOOLSTON CAFE 40 Portsmouth Road, Woolston SO19 9AD 023 8044 0918

THE COFFEE CORNER Boyatt Shopping Centre, Eastleigh SO50 4QP 023 8061 4654

PIGGYS 26 Victoria Road, Woolston SO19 9DX 023 8178 2059

THE WAGON WORKS 28 Southampton Road, Eastleigh SO50 9F 023 8062 2670

THE BUS STOP CAFE Hound Farm Hound Road, Netley Abbey SO31 5FS TESCO Hamble Lane, Bursledon, Southampton SO31 8GN LILLY'S TEA & COFFEE HOUSE The Square, Wickham, Fareham PO17 5JQ 01329 830305 WESTLANDS FARM SHOP Westlands Farm, Pricketts Hill, Shedfield SO32 2JW 01329 833832 COAST TO COAST (FROM 9AM) Unit 4, Shopping, Whitely, Fareham PO15 7PD FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD 164a Southampton Road, Fareham, PO14 4PP 01489 589056

BURGER/KEBAB VANS ETC BAGUETTE BOX - BEEFEATERS BANQUET B&Q Car Park, Shakespear Road, Eastleigh SO50 4SF 074 1569 8584 (we think?)

JUNE & JULY 2019

first person

The

‘D’

WORD

by James Foad I was that man I described above. I might get in a mood, feel a bit low, but I’d find the positives, spin the bad times around, look for a way forward. People don’t really get depressed it’s all in their head, you can turn it round if you get up and do something about it! And then ...

BANG! One day I find myself on a Thursday evening at home, my wife is out with work colleagues, I’ve done the usual Daddy bed time routine; bath, cuddle on the sofa, books and bed. All is quiet. How I got to the next place I still don’t know? Darkness … a place I’d thought of a few days before but never spoken about, a place I’d felt the most scared, lonely and worthless I’d ever been in my life. A place where I had started to take off the counter medication to a degree that I would never wake up again. What was I doing? How on earth had I ended up in this place? Still I don’t speak out and go to bed, not really knowing what I want to happen.

Let me rewind some time to try and make some sense of how I think I may have arrived at that dark lonely place I found myself that Thursday night.

Known by many, rowing had been my life almost since the day I arrived on this planet. My Grandad, Dad and Uncles were all rowers. Even my Mum collapsed under the pressure and became competitive later in her life when my brother and I were a little older. I had been at the rowing club from a very young age, going to regattas weekly. Rowing was the only sport I ever knew. It’s no wonder by the time I was 12, I was in a boat learning the ‘family trade’.

Growing up, I was always the fat kid at school, I was bullied and beaten up a couple of times. Rowing was my escape from that.

Growing up, I was always the fat kid at school, I was bullied and beaten up a couple of times. Rowing was my escape from that. I never experienced any bullying while I was rowing, so it was a place I always wanted to be. Some people think that I was pushed into the sport by my family, but this is far from the truth. The few times I thought I didn’t want to row anymore, my family accepted it completely, never once putting pressure on me to go to the rowing club. But over a matter of days or weeks I would soon be missing the water or sitting on a rowing machine.

By the age of 16, I was producing some good times on the machine and rowing reasonably well. A member of my neighbouring rowing club encouraged me to trial for the British Junior Team even though I had never had any aspirations to compete internationally, I was just a kid who enjoyed a bit of coastal rowing. I’d never considered making it to that sort of level.

It turned out I was right. I went to the first set of trials, where everyone competes in single

Some background: Olympic rowing hero Jam and I ignorantly asked him if he was any go also one of my patrons for Southampton Am most difficult and recent contest. Against hi that it was a thoughtful, honest, baring of a help others, and I agreed. So here it is. An e

Let’s get it out the way earl are scared to say. Ashamed of life, but battle on every d Depressed … depression … despondency and dejection” mental health problem that pleasure, feelings of guilt o poor concentration”.

sculls, I was around 70th and way off the mark.

However, it turned out I had a pretty good engine and strength as I proved to be right up there with some of the best times that year on the rowing machine. I put it down to carrying all that excess weight round as a kid. Thanks mum for being a feeder! But, the times I was producing on the rowing machine got me noticed. One thing led to another, I found a local(ish) partner from Christchurch to race a pair with and it turned out we were quick. Always finishing 3rd/4th in any of the trials we competed in. Amongst other testing, those good results culminated in earning my first GB Vest and a seat for the Junior World Championships.

As I said earlier, it was never really in my thoughts to compete on the international stage, so doing what I did was, in my mind at the time, likely to be the pinnacle of my rowing career. With that, I left college, got a job and just did a bit of rowing locally. I never really had a lot of self-belief or self-confidence. It was something I lacked for years and years. Eventually I realised, after sitting in a boring office, not really going anywhere, that if I actually was quite good at rowing, it was something I was only ever going to get one shot at. I needed to see how far I could go there and then. You can’t go back and try to compete internationally in your 30’s or 40’s.

I joined a club I had a small link with as a junior, Molesey Boat Club near Hampton Court.

Within 2 years I had won at Henley Royal Regatta, pulled off a shock result at trials for the Senior GB Team, been selected to compete at the Under 23 World Championships and secured a place training full time at Caversham with the GB Rowing Team.

From that moment on, I was living beyond a dream. As I said earlier, I never even imagined something like this was possible growing up.

With this in mind, I would just take every day as it came. Each day was about improving or at least maintaining. If I earned a seat for a competition, it was a matter of doing whatever I could to keep my backside on that seat. It was the same after winning my first World silver medal in 2010. What did I have to do to earn my seat in 2011? It was literally a case of focusing a day at a time and doing my best as possible.

Obviously, it isn’t a constant upward curve of improvement. To improve, you need to make mistakes. You need to hurt yourself to the point you can’t carry on before you get to the end of a training piece. Otherwise you can’t really gauge how fast you can truly go when you are racing.

I may not have been your average international rower, I don’t tower above 6ft, I’m not super strong, I don’t have an extraordinary aerobic system... but I do have a really strong mentality, and I believe it’s that strength of mind, developed over the years, that allowed me to achieve what I did in rowing. That being: European Gold, 4 x World Silver Medals,

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mes Foad and I have been friends for some years. Ever since we were introduced at a charity fundraiser ood? “Got a Bronze Medal at The Olympics and a European Gold. Is that any good?” he grinned. He’s mbassadors. So it was with absolute shock, after asking to meet me one afternoon, that he told me of his mself. He wanted to help others and had written a piece on it. What was my opinion? My opinion was soul and a riveting read. But did he really want this in the public domain? He did. He hoped it might extremely brave admission by an elite sportsman struggling to cope with the transistion to ‘normal’ life.

ly shall we? That word which so many people, especially men d to admit they are strong enough to cope with all the pressure day becoming more and more ‘depressed’. There you go, I said it! … defined in the Oxford Dictionary as “Feelings of severe ” and described by The Mental Health Foundation as “a common causes people to experience low mood, loss of interest or r low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, low energy, and

Going to the GP was the best decision I have ever made in my life.

But when I explained why I needed to see someone, they did everything they could for me to be seen. Luckily a local charity, Solent Mind had a drop-in service that morning and it was one of their employees Lou, that I first opened up to and told what I had thought about and

tried to do. I broke down. I couldn’t hold back the tears. It was like popping the cork on a shaken bottle of champagne. My emotions flooded out everywhere, but Lou just sat there and listened to me. He never passed judgement. He never told me what I should do to make myself better or what I had done wrong.

He simply listened and reassured me that at that moment I had made the biggest step forward by speaking about how I was feeling. The second person I told my story to was my GP

... since retiring from international rowing and my ‘plan B’ not developing, I’ve always felt like I had been searching for something.

But I’ve never known what? I’ve gradually been feeling less and less like James. and again I broke down, and again she didn’t pass judgement. She just reassured me that I would be okay, and that there was plenty of help for me and again that I had made the first huge leap in speaking up.

After opening up to just two people, people that I had never met before in my life, I already felt 1% better. It was like there was a release of pressure. Unexpectedly I didn’t feel stupid or ‘less of a man’ because I couldn’t stop crying in front of strangers. I felt a sigh of relief. The next few people I had to tell though, my family, was going to be the hardest part. I knew Lou and the GP had no emotional attachment to me, it was easier for them to be reassuring.

The hardest thing about telling family is worrying how much your actions may hurt them. But I had to open up, be honest and let those close to me know what was going on. Had I done this some days, weeks or months ago, I may not have been to such a dark lonely place?

6 weeks on from that horrible Thursday night, I again find myself alone at home with my two babies in bed and my wife out with her work colleagues in London. This Thursday night when I’m home alone, a few tears roll down my cheeks as I type away, but this time not because I want my life to end, not because I don’t want to wake up again, but because thankfully I’m still here. Still here with the opportunity to wake up tomorrow with my family and start fighting this horrible illness one day at a time.

For the last few weeks I have supplemented the medication I have been prescribed with seeing a psychotherapist, Gary Bloom, The progress he has helped me make and the way he has helped me change my mindset has been phenomenal. Every day is different. Up and down. But I am making steps daily and learning so much about depression all the time.

My story will continue, but I hope my experience can raise awareness and help others feel less alone than I did.

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Henley Royal Regatta wins and a Bronze Medal at the London 2012 Olympics.

After London though, I needed back surgery.

I spent a year in rehab’ after which I was back to my best. That was until January 2016 when I had major back problems again that required further surgery. Just 6-7 months out from Rio and on course to be selected for my second Olympic Games and my career as an athlete had come crashing down. I’d not only miss out on the chance improve on an already fantastic achievement 4 years ago, but I was also unable to continue competing at the highest level. My world had changed. As athletes, we are so focused and set ourselves such big aims and goals, that it becomes something we thrive on and rely on as a person. There was a void.

My plan after rowing was to attend university and study physiotherapy. However, with our second child on the way, it simply wasn’t an option to study full time, help raise 2 children and not be earning.

In the last 3 years since retiring from international rowing and my ‘plan B’ not developing, I’ve always felt like I had been searching for something. But I’ve never known what? I’ve gradually been feeling less and less like James.

I’ve never spoken to anyone about what I was thinking or how I was feeling. I’ve just meandered on through life without realising myself that I had actually become more and more depressed, to the point I thought about and tried to take my own life.

That following day was the hardest I have ever experienced. I was the lowest I had ever been, even more so than the previous day. Now I was filled with guilt of irresponsibility, that I had tried to end my life and leave my family with a huge hole in theirs, because my actions could have left my two babies at home on their own, with daddy dead in bed. But somehow, that day I went to the GP. I told my wife I was going because I wasn’t feeling well and felt low. Still I couldn’t tell her what I was truly going through, what I had been thinking, or even what I had done.

Going to the GP was the best decision I have ever made in my life.

One of the hardest, because as I said before, I never really believed depression was a real thing… an illness. It was just something in your mind you had to get over. When I first walked in, I couldn’t get an appointment to see the GP.

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Rythmtree Festival 12 - 13 - 14 July 2019 Three Gates Farm, Shalfleet, IOW

Set amongst the oak tree lined fields and shady woods of the beautiful Three Gates Farm, the world’s worries magically drop away from the moment you arrive at Rhythmtree.

Fully deserving of its reputation as a relaxed, wonderfully laid-back and friendly musical weekend, the gorgeous site is easy to find. Just a few miles from the sailing town of Cowes at the north of the Island, free parking is right next to the entrance gate, allowing day visitors to access the festival with an air of calm before they walk through the gates, though most Rhythmtree regulars prefer to settle in for the weekend on the free campsite which lays alongside the main arena.

Rhythmtree is small enough to make moving around the seven live stages and discovering many other delights a breeze, but is big enough to give everyone the space and freedom to enjoy it. At Rhythmtree you are immediately struck by the great mix of people you’re sharing the enjoyment with – there are the festival veterans of course, many of whom have tired of the cost and hassles associated with high profile mega-festivals, alongside groups of friends, younger couples, fun loving youngsters and lots of families all attracted by the safe environment, the superb range of music and activities.

To say that Rhythmtree is family friendly really is an understatement - the variety of activities for children are right at the heart of the festival, being situated alongside the arena between the main stage and the gorgeous “Didg Café” marquee with its sofas and armchairs for shady daytime chilling. It’s a masterstroke integrating the children’s area in this way, not just because parents can still enjoy the music on these stages as a family but also because the children become a big part of the whole festival vibe, hugely contributing to the relaxed air of merriment and excitement.

Rhythmtree’s trump card is the magical and enchanting “Jill’s Woods”. The shady glades that reveal themselves as you follow the winding paths are home to “The Woods Stage” and the charming “Little Woods” which, by day, hosts primarily acoustic solo and duo acts. When the lights go down,

these areas become party central with the hugely popular Silent Disco and Club Dada DJs keeping the dancing going into the early hours. Delve further into Jill’s Woods this year and you’ll stumble across whole new areas dedicated to spoken word, the “Sheer Pink” clearing and the enchanting “Magic Teapot” - a self-contained acoustic music venue with a fireplace at its centre where the kettle is always simmering.

The main arena also has an impressive selection of stalls, food traders and a proper pub selling real ales at normal pub prices.

Also here is “Carnavale” - a characterful stage enclosed by an impressive stockade that hosts both live bands and DJs. With over 120 acts and more than 30 different nationalities appearing over the weekend alongside carnival processions, fairground rides, dance classes, acapella flash mobs and axe throwing amongst the myriad of other attractions, Rhythmtree represents impressive value for money at just £100 for an adult weekend ticket with accompanying children under 12 going free.

Day tickets are also available and a generous 25% discount is available when booking your ferry travel through Red Funnel. www.redfunnel.co.uk/rhythmtree

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WONDERFEST 1 - 4 August 2019 DUXMORE FARM, THE DOWNS ROAD, IOW This summer from 1-4th August discover a BRAND NEW family festival taking place on the Isle of Wight where TV legends, Dick & Dom take the helm to host ‘The Great Wonderfest’.

Taking place on the ultimate South Coast staycation island, only a short ferry trip across the Solent with Red Funnel Ferries, and featuring awesome music and family entertainment, including Busted, The Vamps, Sigma, Example and Becky Hill, this is a festival not to be missed!

Children will love performances featuring TV favourites Peppa Pig & George’s presenting their Summer Festival and Rastamouse live! There’s even daily dance workshops from Britain’s Got Talent favourites Flawless and a Robots Live arena featuring the stars of BBC Robot Wars.

All this plus retro acts including Musical Youth, The Blow Monkeys and Robin S and DJs ranging from BBC Radio 1’s Mistajam to mix master Jaguar Skills and family discos run by kids club experts the Raver Tots.

This amazing new event has all the makings of the best summer festival ever and includes a brilliant and beautiful campsite with great facilities, as well as Glamping, a VIP Bar with views of the Main Stage, a Botanical Retreat for fitness and well-being, and a full outdoor activities programme run by the Scouts!

Camping packages are available, and if you want to turn it into a holiday then you can even stay for an entire week with the 7 Day Wondercamp. The Wondercamp is available for those who want to explore the Isle of Wight from Monday 29th from the luxury of a premium campsite before the festival entertainment kicks off on 1st August. If camping isn’t your thing then day tickets are the perfect option. As Dick & Dom say, "There really is something for everyone!”.

Tickets and Ferry Travel for Great Wonderfest can be ordered at: redfunnel.co.uk/greatwonderfest with a 20% discount on vehicle ferry travel.

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Sunday 30th June Saturday - 1st June SO3 COLLECTIVE Pete Harris Blues Band SO3 Shenanigans Again!

Harp-Driven Chicago Style Underground Enthusiasts only!

Blues Sunday 2nd June Friday 5th July FREES COMPANY SLIPPERY JACK Free and Bad Company trib.

Saturday 6th July Friday 7th June WHERE’S JOHNNY MECHANICAL ANIMAL Your fix of R&R, Soul & SKA. Indie Rock Covers Friday 14th June : TBC Saturday 8th June Friday 12th July TOAST: Frank Valli, The Beach DR ROCK Boys, The Drifters and Beatles Rock Covers to blow your mind!

Sunday 9th June Saturday 13th July LOOSE CHIPPINGS FOREVER QUEEN SUPPORTED Covers from Monkees, The Kinks, Crowded House, Oasis etc! BY RELOAD 1 : Tickets Available behind the bar at £5.00 Each Friday 14th June : TBC 6:30pm start!

Saturday 15th June Sunday 14th July BLACK SMOKE REBELLION Classic Rock Covers! Bon Jovi THE SWAMP STOMP STRING BAND Blues, Country, Rag Time, Jazz to Whitesnake Friday 19th July Sunday 16th June GROOVE MONSTER THE BIG BLUE: Rock and Blues Disco, Dance, 70’s and 80’s Friday 21st June Saturday 20th July Rhythm City Six: Bringing Pop, FREES COMPANY Rock’n’Roll, Soul and Motown Free and Bad Company trib.

Saturday 22nd June Sunday 21st July THE OUTFIT UNDERDOGS Elaine and the boys are back!

SUNDAY 23RD JUNE Friday 26th July THE DOLPHIN 1 YEAR THE OUTFIT ANNIVERSARY! Car Ralley Elaine and the boys are back!

Bands, DJ’s, BBQ, Rally Cars!

Saturday 27th July Friday 28th June ALL FLOYD ALWAYS AFTER EIGHT Pink Floyd Tribute Act played ‘Party Rock Show!’ to 300 in the garden last year Saturday 29th June and it was amazing!

JUNCO SHAKERS Friday 14th June : TBC Rockabilly Garden Party!

FRIDAY AND SATURDAY BANDS START AT 9pm SUNDAY BANDS AT 5pm

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The 1865 We are working overtime at The 1865, Southampton, to bring the finest and most entertaining local and touring events to your doorstep. The venue has been operating for nearly six years now, and the programme is as exciting and eclectic as ever, having recently hosted acts including Heaven 17, The Fat White Family and Gong. Here is a snippet of our features over the next few months…

ENDLESS FLOYD; 21/06/2019 Celebrating 50 years of Pink Floyd, Endless Floyd are a 10-piece Pink Floyd tribute act, providing a fully immersive live experience, with a full light show, along with film projections, and classic tracks from amongst others, ‘Dark Side of the Moon’, ‘Wish You Were Here’, ‘The Wall’, ‘Animals’, ‘A Momentary Lapse of Reason’, and ‘The Division Bell’.

The live shows have been described as “the sound, spirit and soul” of Pink Floyd.

HANDS OFF GRETEL; 22/06/2019 From Yorkshire, sassy alternativegrunge quartet Hands Off Gretel have blown the roof off of venues all around the country and we are delighted to host them at The 1865 with Brighton’s Finding Kate and local chaps The Dead Freights.

Fiercely independent, Hands Off Gretel self-produce and control every aspect of the sound and image.

Their loyal and passionate fan base has grown organically from years of work, interacting daily with fans on social media, creating art, videos and merchandise, building not just a band, but a brand with a very clear

identity. They self released their second album on their own label 'Puke Pop Records' after a triumphant recovery from the Pledge Music funding crisis.

SUBHUMANS, DISORDER, ACID ATTACK; 29/06/2019 Subhumans are an English punk band formed in the Warminster and Melksham area of Wiltshire in 1980.

The band's musical style is typically classified as hardcore punk or anarcho-punk; expect a breathless, high energy show.. With support from Bristol’s 80s punk legends Disorder and Portsmouth’s Acid Attack.

SERVANTS OF SCIENCE, SPITDUST; 14/07/2019 Servance of Science released their debut album, The Swan Song, early in 2018. Over the following year the album, which sonically bridges the gap between Pink Floyd and The Flaming Lips, earned the band critical acclaim from the likes of Prog Magazine, Electronic Sound Magazine and countless major Prog and rock radio shows, blogs and review sites. Moving forward in 2019 the band are preparing to launch their second album which focuses on the human race running in the wrong di-

rection. Their performance at the 1865 will feature previews from the as yet untitled album 2 and favourites from The Swan Song in a sonic and visual multimedia feast.

Based in Hampshire, UK, Spitdust produce experimental, atmospheric music, influenced by English Folk, Americana, ambient electronica, post-rock, 20th century classical and World music. Drawing also on the retro-futurist nostalgia of 1960s and 1970s counterculture and science fiction, SPITDUST is a reimagining of traditional English music in a post-industrial age.

JAYA THE CAT; 16/07/2019 Originating in Boston, Jaya the Cat relocated to Amsterdam, perfecting the art of making the most amazing musical cocktail possible to get you through this night and into the next one, with equal parts reggae, punk, and ska, a splash of electronics and a sprig of dub with a shot of whiskey on the side.

You will dance, laugh, and sing along at the top of your lungs even if you really can’t sing. You will find yourself tapping your foot and nodding your head although you’re “not really into reggae, I’m a metal guy”.

You will be happier than you thought you could be. You will end up in places you didn’t even know existed. And somehow, you’ll make it home safely with your keys, phone and wallet intact. Jaya the Cat will leave glitter confetti on your bedroom floor and take you out for breakfast. Or lunch, because, you know, breakfast will definitely be too early for anyone here…

Please check out all of our event listings at www.the1865.com and sign-up to our mailing list for weekly updates of what’s on and what’s new!

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The AND Guide Diary: The best listings in the South!

LEGEND MUSIC SPORT

JUNE

PLATFORM TAVERN The Bluecasters

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH An Evening with Sir Michael Parkinson

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Craig Alexander

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Eban Brown - Ex Lead singer of The Stylistics

SATURDAY 1ST

CHURCHILLS CLUB Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords

THE JOINERS The Last Internationale

KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Madagascar The Musical

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH The Barricade Boys

SUNDAY 2ND

WEDGEWOOD RMS Alfa Envoy

RODDINGTON FORGE Paul Mico’s Motown & Soul Night

MAYFLOWER TH’RE The Bodyguard

SALISB’Y GUILDHALL Rt Hon David Lammy MP / Victoria Hislop

GUILDHALL P’MTH Life After Sherlock / South Coast Comedian of the year - semi finals

NUFFIELD TH’RES We’re Going On A Bear Hunt

SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Taylor Downing: Cold War Crises

SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Bryony Gordon Eddie Butler: The Voice of Rugby

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Golden Eagle Jazz Band

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE Dollywould

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE Fallen Fruit

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Mechanical Animal

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Horrible Histories

TUESDAY 4TH

THURSDAY 6TH

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING The Score

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Half Term Trail

MAYFLOWER TH’RE The Bodyguard

MAYFLOWER TH’RE The Bodyguard

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Black Coffee

LEPE C/P Lepe into History Festival/ Pop Up Cinema

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience Rediscovering The King Of Lampedusa

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience

PAVILION, B’MTH Michael Palin

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Ballet Central

NUFFIELD TH’RES Rotterdam / Edinburgh Comedy Previews: Lois Mills and Adam Hess

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Blonde Faith

MANGO OCEAN VILLAGE Stand Up in the Basement Comedy

TURNER SIMS TH’RE Mark Simmons and Matt Rees

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Stan’s Blues Jam

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH The Kilkennys HANGER FARM TH’RE Throwback Thursday: The Bodyguard

MAYFLOWER TH’RE The Bodyguard / Little Shop of Horrors

ART FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT COMEDY

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience/We’re Going On A Bear Hunt TURNER SIMS TH’RE Gisela Joao

SHOWS NIGHTCLUBS JUST CHILDREN ANTIQUES & FAYRES

BERRY TH’RE Missing Link THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Whose Improv Show Is It Anyway?

Groove City

MARKETS & CAR BOOTS HANGER FARM TH’RE Purple Zeppelin OTHER EVENTS TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Horrible Histories

PLEASE NOTE. We have tried to ensure entries are correct, but If we’ve got the odd one wrong, sorry... The AND Guide cannot accept any responsibility for inaccuracies. Some require tickets in advance. We advise telephoning the appropriate venue beforehand on all occasions.

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ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Half Term Trail

THE JOINERS Tuba Libres

LEPE C/P Lepe in History Festival Pop up Cinema For the Fallen - Theatre Performance

1865, SOTON A & R Artist Showcase

THE BROOK Noasis

RAILWAY INN, WINCH Music and Film quiz

1865, SOTON The Sugarhill Gang ++

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Free’s Company

SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Vic Marks: Test Match Special Orpheus In The Underworld

RAILWAY INN, WINCH FAP with Friends Jimi Needles and WAM Djs

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Drunk Education

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE The Space Movie / Smack That

THREE TUNS R’SEY Cinnamon Jazz

WEDNESDAY 5TH

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Chris Collins Blues Band

MAYFLOWER TH’RE The Bodyguard

NTR, P’MOUTH Will & When

NUFFIELD TH’RES NST’S Hometown Chorus

KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH The Simon & Garfunkel Story

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience

SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Shlomo’s Beatbox Adventure for Kids Hearts and Minds / Sing Your Heart Out Kitty Whately: From the Pens of Women

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Taming Of The Shrew

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE Dr Strangelove / Threads / Grace Petrie

C/F SOCIAL CLUB The Glitter Bugz DOLPHIN, ST DENYS SO3 Collective Garden Party ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Lost Star Sound TOTTON REC CLUB Toast

As long as you keep the poster up, we’ll include your listing.

BIC B’MTH The Vamps

How fair is that?

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH The Mudeford Crabs

Don’t forget to send us your listings though - simply pointing us to the website won’t guarantee inclusion. It’s often very time consuming extracting it for our use. So don’t be lazy! ;)

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PAVILION, B’MTH Gary Delaney / The Dreamboys

KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Dirty Dancing SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Tim Marshall: Divided SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE Young Carers Showcase When The Wind Blows THE JUNCTION, SOTON Goldrush

MANGO OCEAN VILLAGE Modern Jazz club

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH When Louis Met Bing

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Summer Comedy Gala LEPE C/P Live at Lepe - live music FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Jenny Docherty - Medium / Black Coffee WEDGEWOOD RMS Portsmouth College Showcase KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Madagascar The Musical SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Alan Rusbridger: Breaking News Martin Harper: A Life In Birds As A Tiger In The Jungle

FROG AND FRIGATE The Underdogs On Top NEW FOREST INN, ASH’ The Wolf Pack

WEDGEWOOD RMS Wedge Comedy Club KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Madagascar The Musical GUILDHALL P’MTH Rock and Rum Festival SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE Piers Bizony / First Man SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Mark Austin: On The Front Line FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty SOTON COMMON Foodies Festival TWYFORD SOCIAL The Clives PLATFORM TAVERN The Platform Posse feat Malc Eyers HEDGE END CLUB Ivan J SATURDAY 8TH

AGEAS BOWL South Africa v India ICC

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE Rocket Science: 1950s Double Bill Rihab Azar Trio

THE GEORGE INN Hugh Budden & Andy Stone

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH One Night in Dublin

PLATFORM TAVERN Dan O’Farrell & The Difference Engine

MONDAY 3RD

THE JOINERS AU/RA + Charlotte

FRIDAY 7TH

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience / Rotterdam Edinburgh Comedy Previews: Saskia Preston and Sarah Kendall

MAYFLOWER TH’RE The Bodyguard

1865, SOTON Danielle Nicole + Sugarman Sam

MAYFLOWER TH’RE The Bodyguard

TURNER SIMS TH’RE The Printmakers

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES 3 River Cruise

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience/Rotterdam/John-Luke Roberts

TURNER SIMS TH’RE Tale as Old as Time

451- CITY Ben MacIntyre Live: The Spy And The Traitor

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Black Coffee

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Ladies Lunch - with Medium Dan Clarke

O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Stewart Francis: Into The Punset

MAYFLOWER TH’RE The Bodyguard

TALON The Acoustic Sessions FRIDAY 14 JUNE 2019 Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

Te l : 0 2 3 8 0 6 1 3 9 8 9

www.theconcordeclub.com

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Limehouse Lizzy

NTR, P’MOUTH D-Day 75A Celebratory Concert

KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Hair

STRAWBERRY FIELD TAV Toast

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE Beerex 2019

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH NHS’ Got Talent

WEDGEWOOD RMS Bemis

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

PYRAMIDS, P’MOUTH Faith - The George Michael Legacy

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

THE STAGE DOOR Deloons Burlesque - Starlight

KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Madagascar The Musical

THURSDAY 13TH

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Drunken Education

DOCKS COFFEE HOUSE Dan O’Farrell & The Difference Engine

FIREHOUSE Unhinged

GUILDHALL P’MTH Milton Glee Choir with The Royal Marines Association Concert Band

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

WEDGEWOOD RMS Tonic Music for Mental Health Fundraiser

HARRY PAYE DAY,POOLE The Pick Ups

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience / Milton Jones

KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Hair

KINGS ARMS, MATRAVERS Hugh Budden & Andy Stone

ROWNHAMS HOUSE Dan O’Farrell & The Difference Engine

PLAZA TH’RE How To Disappear Completely and Never Be Found / Stanley Dee as Steely Dan

GUILDHALL P’MTH Into The Groove

NURSLING & ROWNHAMS CLUB Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords

POOLE BOAT SHOW Hugh Budden & Andy Stone

HANGER FARM TH’RE Big Fish - Music Theatre South

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE Beerex 2018

OCTOBER BOOKS, PORTSWOOD Secret Southampton book signing

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

WEST END BREWERY Deep Thirteen

AGEAS BOWL

BRAISHFIELD S/C Beer & Cider Festival

ST EDWARDS CH, NETLEY Andrea Valeri

Ropbin Smith The Judge: Book Launch

QUDOS, SALISBURY The Pick Ups

PLATFORM TAVERN MJ Whipround

BLUE KEYS, SOTON PiaNOTE

Sat 10th Nozfest SUNDAY 16TH

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH The Tempest

PLATFORM TAVERN 15th RiversideSat Blues BandKick Up The 80s

SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Educating Rita

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Sun 11th Revolution Matilda The Musical

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Sound of Music

Sun 16th Porbeagles SATURDAY 15TH

COCO’S BAR, SOTON Clark Tracey Quintet

NTR, P’MOUTH A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Fri 21st Endless MAYFLOWER TH’REFloyd Matilda The Musical

NUFFIELD TH’RES Mark SatWatson: 17th The Infinite Show THE The CONCORDE, Long John BaldryE’LEIGH New Orleans Jazz Bandits

WEDNESDAY 19TH

WEDGEWOOD RMS The Uncountables

NUFFIELD Finding TH’RES Kate & The Dead The Audience / The Comedy Bar Freights

Sat 24th FARM System TH’RE 7 HANGER Mirror New&Forest Film System Festival - Winners’ Showcase

KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Hair

TURNER SIMS TH’RE Sat 29th Why Mummy Doesn’t GiveRecord a ****! An Southampton Fair Evening with Gill Sims

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH 25th Roof SASOrchestra Boxing TheSun Pasadena

NUFFIELD TH’RES NST’S Hometown Chorus

1865, SOTON Southampton Transformed THE ARTHOUSE Charity Quiz Night for SWVG NEW FOREST INN, ASH’ Gin & Swing ROMSEY ABBEY The Haydn Collective Launch event: Le Matin C/F SOCIAL CLUB Re-Issue DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Toast ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Moonlighters FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Daedalus D Day 75 PAVILION, B’MTH Henning Wehn MOORS VALLEY C/P Grand Summer Gala at Moors Valley Railway NTR, P’MOUTH Dance Fitness by Dame Darcy Bussell DBE WEDGEWOOD RMS Ratpack KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Madagascar The Musical GUILDHALL P’MTH The Cocktail Festival SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Muckers / Mini BSO: Up in the Air Clare Teal and her Big Mini Big Band SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE Red Joan / Cosmic Voyage FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty THE INN ON THE FURLONG The Pick Ups ALRESFORD FEST Mo Woods POOLE HILL BREWERY Chicago 9 NURSLING & ROWNHAMS CLUB Deep Thirteen

SOTON COMMON Foodies Festival

MONDAY 10TH NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience AGEAS BOWL South Africa v West Indies ICC KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Hair GUILDHALL P’MTH Bill Bailey FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty WOOLSTON LIBRARY Talk by Martin Brisland TUESDAY 11TH MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience / James Acaster TURNER SIMS TH’RE Angela Hewitt

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

PLAZA TH’RE How To Disappear Completely and Never Be Found

THE KING RUFUS, ELING Dan O’Farrell & The Difference Engine

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Shirley Morgan, Paul Francis and John Hibberd RAILWAY INN, WINCH St Pineapple BIC B’MTH Bill Bailey THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH RNLI Charity Quiz Night KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Hair

PLATFORM TAVERN Harpin’ On

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

SUNDAY 9TH

THE LORD NELSON, POOLE Hugh Budden & Andy Stone

TURNER SIMS TH’RE Son with James Mayhew/Peter And The Wolf

PLATFORM TAVERN English Tunes Sessions

TURNER SIMS TH’RE Tale as Old as Time

WEDNESDAY 12TH

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Sunday Lunch with NYA King as Whitney John Maddocks Jazzmen THE JOINERS Paceshifters & Wallace Vanborn 1865, SOTON Revolution Pro Wrestling

GUILDHALL P’MTH South Coast Comedian of The Year Grand Final / Here Come The Boys

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical NUFFIELD TH’RES NST’S Hometown Chorus NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience

PLATFORM TAVERN Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords FRIDAY 14TH MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience Ronnie Scott’s All Stars: 60th Anniversary PLAZA TH’RE How To Disappear Completely and Never Be Found

JUNE

Sat 22nd Hands Off Gretel,

29th TH’RE THE Sat BERRY & Disorder WonderSubhumans Park PLAZA TH’RE How To Disappear Completely and Never Be Found

JULY

THE Fri CONCORDE, E’LEIGH 12th Soul & Motown Night with Ramzi A Foreigner's Journey; tribute

to Foreigner Journey HANGER FARMand TH’RE Big Fish - Music Theatre South

Pro Wrestling

1865, SOTON Sat 31st+ Treebeard Southampton Porbeagles

Record Fair

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES Fathers Day Lunch Cruise

Sat 31st Bandeoke; Daisy &

SS TheSHIELDHALL Wedding Toasters Fathers Day Sailing with Shieldhall Stompers Jazz Band

SEPTEMBER

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS The Big Blue

Sun 1st Karibow SunROYAL 14th Servants of Science ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING TH’RE WINCH South Coast Collective The Tempest Wed 4th Skinny Molly FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Tues 16th Jaya The Cat VICTORIA C/P Royal Marines Collingwood Band Vicky Park Festival Fri 6th Fleetingwood Mac; THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Sat 27th ENGINE ROOMS tribute to Fleetwood Mac Jimmy Hill Billie Southampton Record Fair State Champs KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Thu 12th Purple CelebraTHE BROOK Sat 27th UK Pink Floyd Experience tion; tribute to Prince Mainly Madness Uptown Top Rankin

NUFFIELD TH’RES PLAYING HERE The Audience TURNER SIMS TH’RE Lewis Dartness - RGS - IBG Lecture TH’RE ROYAL WINCH The Tiger Lillies ENGINE ROOMS Nick Lowe THE JOINERS Nervus + Koji + Fresh FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Halfway to Paradise - The Billy Fury Story NTR, P’MOUTH Read All About It GUILDHALL P’MTH Touching

NUFFIELD TH’RES HANDS The Audience / OFF Silent Mind O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON GRETEL Afternoon Tea Dance

Hands Off Gretel are an Alternative THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Rock/Grunge pop band from South The Jive The Acesband is Lauren Tate Yorkshire. (guitar, vox),ROYAL Sean Bon WINCH (guitar) TH’RE Sam and aBecky WhyHobbins Mummy(drums) Doesn’t give **** - an Baldwin evening(bass) with Gill Sims If THE you’re aJOINERS fan of Gwen Stefani style swagger or Nirvana-esque Ogikubo Station grunge, thenFUNNEL you are goingCRUISES love BLUE Hands Off Gretel.

Cowes 4 River Cruise “Great Band and a great B’MTH Track THOMAS TRIPP, “ Wyatt Wendells Planet Rock Tom Clements “If Gwen Stefani had a baby NTR, P’MOUTH with Nirvana, it might’ve turned Read About ItOff Gretel. out likeAllHands GUILDHALL Which, if this is anyP’MTH indication, isDuende basically very James good thing” withaKeith / Ricky .Gervais Classic Rock Magazine SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Educating Rita

1865, SOTON Kick Up The 80’s

GUILDHALL P’MTH Rhod of Bo Peep FriGilbert 13th / The TheAdventures Cureheads;

THE ARTHOUSE Richard Strange (Doctors of Madness) talk

PLATFORM tribute to TheTAVERN Cure Malc, Ray & Tim

9th Paul Mico's BLUEFriFUNNEL CRUISES 3 River Motown Cruise & Soul Night

Sun 15thROSE, The Blackheart TUDOR ROMSEY Orchestra & Tiger Moth Tale Goldrush

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

SS SHIELDHALL Solent Cruise & 4 Cruise ships depart

KINGS ARMS, L. MATRAVERS Hugh Budden & Andy Stone

LORD NELSON, POOLE Hugh Budden

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH The Tempest

C/F SOCIAL CLUB Songbirds

MONDAY 17TH

PLATFORM TAVERN Stan’s Blues Jam

VICTORIA C/P Vicky Park Festival

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Black Smoke Rebellion

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

THURSDAY 20TH

ENGINE ROOMS Quebonafide

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Hazzard County

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

THE JOINERS Dune Rats

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Sound of Music

HANGER FARM TH’RE First Man

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience

THE STAGE DOOR Deja Blu

BIC B’MTH David Blaine High quality d&b

THE LOFT Icon for Hire

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Decades Live UK - The Story of the Man Band

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Talon - The Acoustic Collection HANGER FARM TH’RE Big Fish - Music Theatre South AGEAS BOWL England v West Indies ICC

AUGUST

THE LOFT The Xcerts

PLAZA TH’RE How To Disappear Completely and Never Be Found

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Loose Chippings

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Kamao Quartet

THE BROOK Wonderband - Soul Legends Tribute

PAVILION, B’MTH audio PA system Rhod Gilbert: The Book of John

WEDGEWOOD RMS Ogikubo Station

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Mid Summer Evening Garden Tour

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Double Barrel

HANGER FARM TH’RE Big Fish - Music Theatre South

THE ARTHOUSE Rebel Jam

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH lighting rig Wilson

SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Educating Rita

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Margot Fonteyn

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Daedalus D Day 75

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Sound of Music

NEW FOREST INN, A’HURST Rockwaves

NTR, P’MOUTH Stage, dance floor The Movement& Initiative: Celebrate 2019 balcony area

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES 3 River Cruise

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Darren Hodson & The Southern Companion

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Hannah Robinson

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Skamaggedon

WEDGEWOOD RMS T-Rextasy Two licensed bars

TUESDAY 18TH

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Roy Hemmings - Hits of Motown

MOORS VALLEY C/P Grand Summer Gala at Moors Valley Railway

NTR, P’MOUTH Reginald D Hunter - Facing the Beast

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Sound of Music

KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Hair

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

•

• Chamsys controlled

•

•

GUILDHALL P’MTH Poisoned Beds

Gwen Dickey 28 June

SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Educating Rita

FIREHOUSE Hybrid

JUNCTION INN, SOTON Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

1865, SOTON Hands off Gretel + Finding Kate

TUDOR ROSE, ROMSEY The Scurvy Brothers

PLATFORM TAVERN The Jonah Band

RAILWAY INN, WINCH Gig in Aid of Winchester Youth Counselling

MONDAY 24TH

FRIDAY 21ST

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES 80s Party Night

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

ROMSEY ABBEY The Virtuoso Cello

AGEAS BOWL Bangladesh v Afghanistan ICC

NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience

C/F SOCIAL CLUB Zac & The Zeros

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Electrolyte

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Vicky Jackson is Pink

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS The Outfit

1865, SOTON Big Band Mondays

HANGER FARM TH’RE Friends of Falconwood

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Italian Job

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES Hamble River Cruise

THE HOBBIT Student Essentials

BIC B’MTH II Divo

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

1865, SOTON Endless Floyd

PAVILION, B’MTH Big Girls Don’t Cry

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

NEW FOREST INN A’HURST Somethin’ Else

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH The Alibi

BULL HOTEL S’BURY Harv & Hughs R & B Jam

RAILWAY INN, WINCH Fuzzwalker/chaWk/ Scott Freeman

NTR, P’MOUTH Electrolyte

TUESDAY 25TH

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Rhythm City Live

WEDGEWOOD RMS Penetration

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Unhinged

KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Comedy at The Kings

NUFFIELD TH’RES A Thousand Splendid Suns

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Vision of Elvis

GUILDHALL P’MTH Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club A Country Night In Nashville ABC Teddy Bear Concert A Comic in 20 Days

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Charity Quiz & Curry Night in aid of The Red Cross

SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Educating Rita

RAILWAY INN, WINCH Off The Rails - Comedy Night

KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH Sing-a-long-a Rocky Horror

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE Jack Dee - Work in Progress

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES 3 River Cruise

GUILDHALL P’MTH The Legend of Springsteen

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Educating Rita

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

SOTON COMMON Race for Life - Pretty Muddy

WEDNESDAY 26TH

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

THE WELLINGTON ARMS, SOTON Dan O’Farrell & The Difference Engine

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

GRANDE CAFE Malc, Ray & Tim

STEAM TOWN BREW CO Hugh Budden & Andy Stone

WIG & QUILL, S’BURY Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords

DENE STEAM RALY Deep Thirteen

NUFFIELD TH’RES NST’S Hometown Chorus A Thousand Splendid Suns

INCOGNITO W’CHESTER Mo Woods

PLATFORM TAVERN Zowie Schwarz Blue Commotion

GLEN BEER FEST, HYTHE Deep Thirteen

SUNDAY 23RD

PLATFORM TAVERN Stompin’ Dave

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

SATURDAY 22ND

PLAZA TH’RE Coldplace: Coldplay Tribute Act

BIC B’MTH The Beach Boys WEDGEWOOD RMS Wedge Comedy Club

THE LONDON HOTEL, 2 TERMINUS TERRACE, SOUTHAMPTON SO14 3DT

023 8071 0652 | www.the-london.co.uk

Thursday JUNE 6th Karaoke with Marth D’arthur 13th Karaoke with Cherry Liquor 20t Karaoke with Cherry Liquor 27th Karaoke with Miss Disney JULY 4th Karaoke with Cherry Liquor 11th Cherry’s Karaoke Hen/Stag Party 18th Karaoke with Martha D’arthur 25th Karaoke with Martha D’arthur Friday frolics JUNE 7th DJ Neil Sackley and Drag Artiste Sandra 14th DJ Lucinda Lashes and Drag Artiste Vicki Vivacious 21st DJ Lucinda Lashes and Drag Artiste Miss Jason 28th DJ Lucinda Lashes and Drag Artiste PoppyCock JULY 5th DJ Neil Sackley and Drag Artiste Mary Golds 12th DJ Neil Sackley & MS Tiara Thunderpussy 19th DJ Lucinda Lashes and Drag Artiste Fanny Burns 26th Dj Lucinda Lashes and Cabaret Act Jacquii Cann as Alison Moyet

Saturdays Guilty Pleasures JUNE 8th DJ Neil Sackley 15th DJ Stuart J 22nd DJ Stuart J 29th DJ Claire Fuller and Cabaret with Eva Iglesias JULY 6th DJ Claire Fuller 13th DJ Neil Sackley 20th DJ Miss Penny 27th DJ Stuart J Sunday Night on the London Podium JUNE 9th Beverley Ballcrusher (Drag) 16th Mrs Moore (Drag) 23rd Cherry Liquor (Drag) (Pic) 30th Martha D’arthur (Drag) JULY 7th Lucinda Lashes 14th TBA – Drag Artiste 21st Miss Penny 28th The Drag With No Name

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical NUFFIELD TH’RES The Audience

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH The Fabulous 40s Ed Hailwood - Rotary club four ties day

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH A Midsummer Night’s Dream

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Recreating The Benny Goodman Sextet HANGER FARM TH’RE Simon Morgan & SAX TH’RE ROYAL WINCH You & I THE JOINERS Miss Vincent + The Young Hearts THE LOFT The Big Moon PAVILION, B’MTH Tea Dance

ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Magical Moths

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Adam Sweet

PAULTONS PARK Meet Ben and Holly

WEDGEWOOD RMS Feels

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Our 1st Anniversary Celebrations

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING The Modules

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

HANGER FARM TH’RE Last Night We Slept

PAVILION, B’MTH The Glenn Miller Orchestra

THURSDAY 27TH

BOTLEIGH GRANGE Make your own wedding stationery class

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH The Royal T’s

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

AGEAS BOWL India v Afghanistan ICC

NTR, P’MOUTH Alverstoke Dance Presents The Greatest Show

NUFFIELD TH’RES A Thousand Splendid Suns

PAULTONS PARK Meet Ben and Holly

GUILDHALL P’MTH An Evening with Ryan Giggs

THE BERRY TH’RE Small Island

THE JOINERS Bedroom/Boredom

SOTON COMMON 5k Race

PLAZA TH’RE Oye Santana: Tribute Act

TURNER SIMS TH’RE Southampton Youth Concert Sinfonia EASTLEIGH Eastleigh Unwrappedl THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Prosecco, Gin & Rum Festival Meantime - Cheques in The Post

THE CHRISTIANS FRIDAY 28 JUNE 2019 Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane HANGER FARM TH’RE The Man and his Musical Productions’ Jonny and The Baptists & Jayde Adams TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Cloudbusting: The Music of Kate Bush Carnival Crafts THE ARTHOUSE Groove Merchant WEDGEWOOD RMS The Embrooks

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

Te l : 0 2 3 8 0 6 1 3 9 8 9

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

PAVILION, B’MTH BSO

WEDGEWOOD RMS Darko

DUKE OF WELLINGTON Shamrock Keys

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Pheonix

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

BLUEBIRD S/C, F’DOWN The Producers

NTR, P’MOUTH Classique Presents It’s Showtime!

CHAPLINS,B’MTH Dan O’Farrell & The Difference Engine

HORSE & GROOM, WOODGREEN Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords

WEDGEWOOD RMS Golden Touch Fest

TUESDAY 2ND MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

www.theconcordecl ub.com FRIDAY 5TH MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical NUFFIELD TH’RES A Thousand Splendid Suns THE BERRY TH’RE Legally Blonde THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Mike Osman as Donald Trump

FIREHOUSE MNDA Fundraiser BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES Sounds of the Summer ROMSEY ABBEY Romsey Choral Society Summer Concert C/F SOCIAL CLUB Overdrive DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Where’s Johnny?

RAILWAY W’CHESTER Nick Tann & Band

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH The Best Of British Show - Gems Dance School

BLUE KEYS, SOTON PiaNOTE

SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE Zimbe

NUFFIELD TH’RES A Thousand Splendid Suns Mary Poppins Returns

INCOGNITO W’CHESTER Mo Woods

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

PAVILION, B’MTH Christchurch Schools Singing Festival

ENGINE ROOMS Martin Kemp

ADMIRAL DRAKE, P’MTH Deep Thirteen

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

THE JOINERS Beach Baby

PLATFORM TAVERN Howlin’ Mat

GREYFISHER, S’BURY Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords

GEORGE INN, P’MOUTH Chicago 9

THE BROOK Coldplace - Tribute to Coldplay

PAVILION, B’MTH Bournemouth Music Competitions Festival Concert

FRIDAY 28TH

SATURDAY 29TH

PLATFORM TAVERN Wang Dang Doodle Band

WEDNESDAY 3RD

FIREHOUSE Drunk Education

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Groovemeister

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

SUNDAY 30TH

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

1865, SOTON Strobe 2

NTR, P’MOUTH Portsmouth Choral Union - Tonight,

NUFFIELD TH’RES A Thousand Splendid Suns

NUFFIELD TH’RES A Thousand Splendid Suns

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

NEW FOREST INN A’HURST Tequila Chase

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH An Evening with Michael Palin

O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON The Real Thing & Gwen Dickey - The voice of Rose Royce

TURNER SIMS TH’RE Southampton Concert Orchestra:

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Sunday Lunch with T-Vares as Tavares Solent City Jazzmen

NUFFIELD TH’RES NST’S Hometown Chorus A Thousand Splendid Suns Slumber Stories

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Mafia

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Al Murray

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Ready for Freddie Quartet - Tribute to Freddie Hubbard

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Kytsun Wolfe - in concert

SOTON COMMON Lets Rock Southampton - The Jam

PAULTONS PARK Meet PJ Masks

PAVILION, B’MTH Rhythm of The Dance

BIC B’MTH Cheerleading & Dance Competition

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON China Lake

THE JOINERS This Is Hell

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Ella Fait

PAVILION, B’MTH Buble Meets Sinatra

CRICKETERS W’BORNE Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords

SS SHIELDHALL American Independence Day Cruise

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Jukebox 3

CRICKETERS, ALRESFORD Chicago 9

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS The Pete Harris Band

THE THREE TUNS, R.SY Dan O’Farrell & The Difference Engine Beggars fair

GUILDHALL P’MTH Gary Meikle

HYTHE & DISTRICT CLUB Deep Thirteen

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

PLATFORM TAVERN Pat Kearns

THURSDAY 4TH

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Nemesis

SUNDAY 7TH

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

THE STABLE, POOL The Pick Ups

NUFFIELD TH’RES Small Island

NUFFIELD TH’RES A Thousand Splendid Suns/Slumber Stories

SIMONS, SOTON Ivan J

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH John Maddocks Jazzmen

THE BERRY TH’RE Legally Blonde

PLATFORM TAVERN Platform Posse

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Simply Weller

THE DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Slippery Jack

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pop Up Cinema Demfest Festival - Dementia awareness Cinnamon Jazz

HANGER FARM TH’RE Throwback Thursday:The Big Country

SATURDAY 6TH

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Titanic Survivors

JULY 2019

LEPE C/P Live at Lepe - live music

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

THREE TUNS, R’SEY Cinnamon Jazz

MONDAY 1ST

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Kast Off Kinks

NUFFIELD TH’RES A Thousand Splendid Suns / This Is Me

BIC B’MTH Cheerleading & Dance Competition

KINGS TH’RE P’MOUTH The Bon Jovi Experience SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE NT Live: Small Island FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea PLATFORM TAVERN Jack Francis & Friends

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH The Christians HANGER FARM TH’RE The Carpenters Experience TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Honk! A Family Musical ENGINE ROOMS The Original Wailers Featuring Al Anderson THE STAGE DOOR Manford’s Comedy Club 1865, SOTON The Stone Faced Wellers THE ARTHOUSE Open Mic Night NEW FOREST INN A’HURST The Chill ROMSEY ABBEY Schools Choir Festival DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Always After Eight ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Piranha Brothers FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM The Roy Orbison Story

THE BERRY TH’RE It’s a Wonderful World PLAZA TH’RE ELO Encounter - Tribute Act THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Beatlemania / Gary Pease as Rod Stewart HANGER FARM TH’RE Achoiring Voices Summer Concert HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Giggles in the Gardens - comedy TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Carnival Crafts TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Honk! A Family Musical PAULTONS PARK Meet PJ Masks FIREHOUSE Jonestown 1865, SOTON Subhumans THE VESTRY Grease vs Dirty Dancing BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES Harbour Tour

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING The Decatonics THE PLATFORM Cinnamon Jazz THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Wonkey Donkeys NTR, P’MOUTH Classique Presents It’s Showtime!

WEDGEWOOD RMS Joe Black - Decopunk GROVE CLUB, SOTON Freeway

HANGER FARM TH’RE Liam White’s Little Big Band AGEAS BOWL Masterclass at BEEFY’S by Sir Ian Botham

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Planet 80 FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Some Guys Have All The Luck BIC B’MTH Cheerleading & Dance Competition

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Rooster

SS SHIELDHALL Round the Island Yacht Race & 5 Cruise ships depart

NTR, P’MOUTH Majesty: A Tribute To Queen

C/F SOCIAL CLUB Hazy Dayz

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Matilda The Musical

PAVILION, B’MTH Believe - The Cher Songbook

THE BERRY TH’RE Legally Blonde

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH The Joelle Family Band

WEDGEWOOD RMS Nahko

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Junco Shakers

NUFFIELD TH’RES A Thousand Splendid Suns

WEDGEWOOD RMS Joe Burger

O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Showcase Music presents ‘Schools Out’

NTR, P’MOUTH From Hollywood To Broadway

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Jane McDonald Live

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Got 2 Funk

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Al Murray

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE NT Live: All My Sons

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Rob Lamberti as George Michael

GUILDHALL P’MTH Beyond The Barricade / Hamilton Loomis

GUILDHALL P’MTH Carl Hutchinson

ST JAMES TAV, WINCH Cinnamon Jazz

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES Beaulieu 4 River Cruise

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

AGEAS BOWL Hampshire v Warwickshire

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Stone Free

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Plenty

BIC B’MTH Gladys Knight

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Stan’s Blues Jam

PLATFORM TAVERN Gaslight Sessions

THE BROOK Arielle

THE INN, R’WOOD Hugh Budden & Mo Thomas

ROYAL VICTORIA CHAPEL Nell Bryden MONDAY 8TH

THE BROOK The Phonics FIREHOUSE, SOTON Stone Free 1865, SOTON A Foreigner’s Journey

HANGER FARM TH’RE Stan and Ollie

NEW FOREST INN A’HURST Rooster

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Dr Rock

TUESDAY 9TH

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Drunk Education

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Shirley Morgan, Paul Francis and John Hibberd

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Sentimental Journey

PAULTONS PARK Gardens Open Evening

PAVILION, B’MTH Dirty Dancing

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES 3 River Cruise

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Headland

PAVILION, B’MTH Dirty Dancing MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea PLATFORM TAVERN English Tunes Session WEDNESDAY 10TH NUFFIELD TH’RES NST’S Hometown Chorus/Showcase THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Dutch Swing College Band PAVILION, B’MTH Dirty Dancing/Schools Orchestra Extravaganza THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Gentlemen Groove KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Explore: The Cowplain School MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

WEDGEWOOD RMS Oasish MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea WELLSTEAD SCHOOL, H/E The Soulcatchers - Family Festival THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Deep 13 PEAR TREE, BORLEY GREEN Harris & Son BLUE KEYS, SOTON PiaNOTE THE SWAN, SOTON Deep Thirteen PLATFORM TAVERN Jon Amot SATURDAY 13TH MAYFLOWER TH’RE Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom

THURSDAY 11TH

NUFFIELD TH’RES Now-Here: Made In Southampton Everybody’s Talking About Jamie

NUFFIELD TH’RES Now-Here: Made In Southampton

TURNER SIMS TH’RE Andrews Evans Piano Recital

THE BERRY TH’RE The Addams Family

THE BERRY TH’RE The Addams Family

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Legend - Tribute to Bob Marley Experience

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH The Blackadder Comedy Dinner Show The Britpop Boys

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Winnall Rock School ENGINE ROOMS Manila Luzon FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Aretha - Respect PAVILION, B’MTH Dirty Dancing KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Michael McIntyre MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea PLATFORM TAVERN Gateau Bateau Band FRIDAY 12TH MAYFLOWER TH’RE Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom NUFFIELD TH’RES Now-Here: Made In Southampton Sir Ranulph Fiennes: Living Dangerously

HANGER FARM TH’RE Shrek’s Story AGEAS BOWL Hampshire v Kent TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Don Pasquale LAKESIDE RAILWAY Small Engines Loco Weekend THE JOINERS Rolo Tomassi THE STAGE DOOR Rock Night FIREHOUSE Stone Free ++ THE ARTHOUSE Jason Buck BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES Abba Tribute Evening SS SHIELDHALL Solent Cruise to see 4 Cruise Ships Depart

THE BERRY TH’RE The Addams Family

ROMSEY ABBEY Southampton Youth Orchestra Gala Concert

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH La Voix

C/F SOCIAL CLUB Mod Town

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Summer Soul Spectacular

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Forever Queen

HEARTBREAKERS Single Mothers

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Boss Hogg

MIKE OSMAN as DONALD TRUMP ‘Funding the Wall tour’ FRIDAY 5 JULY 2019 Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Laughter Live! Comedy Club

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING 80’s Total Recall

SARISBURY GREEN SOCIAL Toast

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Riverside Blues Band

THREE TUNS, R’SEY Cinnamon Jazz

MOORS VALLEY C/P Railway Open Weekend

PAVILION, B’MTH Dirty Dancing

NTR, P’MOUTH The Tiger Who Came To Tea

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Dorsal Fin

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Never The Agreed

MOORS VALLEY C/P Railway Open Weekend

ROBIN HOOD, DURLEY Live Music In The Garden

NTR, P’MOUTH The Tiger Who Came To Tea

MONDAY 15TH

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH The Greatest Dance Show - Timestep

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Ministry of Science Live

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE The Alphabet Business Convention

HANGER FARM TH’RE Love Soul Choir

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea MILFORD FESTIVAL The Soulcatchers / The Rising Sarah Harris Band THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Crazy Train STAR, ROMSEY Goldrush - Beggars Fair JAGS, SOUTHSEA Dan O’Farrell & The Difference Engine BELLE VUE, HIGH WYCOMBE Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords MILFORD MUSIC FEST Soulcatchers / SHB / Milford on Sea Band JUNCTION INN, SOTON Harris & Son NETLEY MUSIC FEST Mo Woods

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea CHAPLINS, B’MTH Nick Tann& Band TUESDAY 16TH MAYFLOWER TH’RE Rock of Ages PLAZA TH’RE The Lady In The Van THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Hampshire County Youth Jazz Centre THE ARTHOUSE Rachael Sage FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

Te l : 0 2 3 8 0 6 1 3 9 8 9

THURSDAY 18TH MAYFLOWER TH’RE Rock of Ages THE BERRY TH’RE Showstopper! The Improvised Musical PLAZA TH’RE The Lady In The Van HANGER FARM TH’RE Garrett Millerick & Gareth Richards ENGINE ROOMS Mushroomhead + Waltari ++ PAVILION, B’MTH Broadway Showtunes

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Rock of Ages PLAZA TH’RE The Lady In The Van THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH The Sounds of Philadelphia and Motown Show AGEAS BOWL Hampshire v Sussex THE JOINERS Arnocorps THE ARTHOUSE Rebel Jam

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH The Stereo Kings

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Duchess with Pete Cater Trio

NTR, P’MOUTH Gimme Abba

TH’RE ROYAL WINCH Wessex Dance Academy

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH KYT High School Musical

ENGINE ROOMS Milton Jones

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES Hamble River Cruise

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Rhythm of The Dance

DUKE OF WELLINGTON Bob & The Bobcats

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Jinder

BRAISHFIELD S/C Beer & Cider Festival

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

PLATFORM TAVERN Pot Kettle Black

ROMSEY ABBEY Last Night of the Proms Concert

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

SATURDAY 20TH

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS The Swamp Stomp String Boys

PLATFORM TAVERN Stan’s Blues Jam

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Rock of Ages

1865, SOTON Servants of Science & Spitdust SS SHIELDHALL Eastern Solent Cruise to see 4 Cruise Ships depart

ENGINE ROOMS The Smyths

NTR, P’MOUTH Our Time To Shine

PLATFORM TAVERN MJ Whipround

THE JOINERS Thunderstruck AC/DC Tribute

WEDGEWOOD RMS Gaygirl

ST CHRISTOPHERS CHURCH,SOTON Sunflower

THE STAGE DOOR Mother - sketch show

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH KYT High School Musical KYT Little Mermaid Jr

THE DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Frees Company

C/F SOCIAL CLUB Tribute Night: Little Mixture

PLAZA TH’RE The Lady In The Van

LAKESIDE RAILWAY Small Engines Loco Weekend

VICTORIA C/P Arielle plus guest Fellman

PLATFORM TAVERN Barbara Nesbit

PAVILION, B’MTH Broadway Showtunes

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Sussex Jazz Kings

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Dance Floor Metropolis

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

NUFFIELD TH’RES NST’S Hometown Chorus

TURNER SIMS TH’RE Welsh National Opera Family Concert

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH An Evening with The Overtones

MOTTISFONT ABBEY Beano Time Travellers Activity Trail

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Up All Night

NUFFIELD TH’RES Swan Lake - Encore Screening

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Subdued 21:7 Hybrid

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES Lunch Cruise

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Rock of Ages

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom

PAVILION, B’MTH Broadway Showtunes

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

WEDNESDAY 17TH

SUNDAY 14TH

PLAZA TH’RE The Lady In The Van

RAILWAY INN, WINCH Roxi Drive

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Groove Monster

PLATFORM TAVERN Dawg’N’Bonez

SOTON RU40

WEDGEWOOD RMS Mantras

NEW FOREST INN A’HURST The Pop Pickers

NEWBURY FESTIVAL Chicago 9

ST JAMES TAV, WINCH Cinnamon Jazz

NTR, P’MOUTH Gary Delaney: Gagster’s Paradise

COCO’S BAR, SOTON Matt Carter Septet

HYTHE CLUB Ivan J

THE BERRY TH’RE Dance Dynamix

THE BROOK Johnny Cash Roadshow - San Quentin Anniversary Show

FRIDAY 19TH

www.theconcordeclub.com

GUILDHALL P’MTH Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club Hayling Summer Festival FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea SOTON COMMON Gung-Ho! 5k run THE ROBIN HOOD,

SUNDAY 21ST MAYFLOWER TH’RE Sing-a-long-a The Greatest Showman THE BERRY TH’RE Dance Dynamix THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH An Evening with The Overtones AGEAS BOWL Hampshire v Kent

An Evening with THE OVERTONES SATURDAY 20 & SUNDAY 21 JULY 2019 Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES Sunday Lunch Special MOTTISFONT ABBEY Beano Time Travellers Activity Trail FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Johnny Cash Roadshow LEIGH RD, E’LEIGH Cinnamon Jazz THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH The Zephyrs WEDGEWOOD RMS Milton Jones KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Peter Pan & Children of Eden GUILDHALL P’MTH The Bonkers Balloon Science Show SOTON COMMON Run for Sparkle BRAISHFIELD S/C Beer & Cider Festival PLATFORM TAVERN Jon Walsh GROVE CLUB, SOTON Freeway THE DOLPHIN, ST DENYS Underdogs MONDAY 22ND MAYFLOWER TH’RE Club Tropicana 1865, SOTON Big Band Mondays

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

WEDNESDAY 24TH

Te l : 0 2 3 8 0 6 1 3 9 8 9

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Climb a Tree / Archaeology Activity

C/F SOCIAL CLUB Toast

ENGINE ROOMS Hot 8 Brass Band

DOLPHIN, ST DENYS All Floyd

THE JOINERS Frank Carducci

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING Overdrive

THE ARTHOUSE Moving Voices open mic

BIC B’MTH DPA Bournemouth Summer Festival

MOTTISFONT ABBEY Beano Time Travellers Activity Trail

NEW FOREST INN A’HURST New Forest Fest

PAVILION, B’MTH Jesus Christ Superstar

BIC B’MTH DPA Bournemouth Summer Festival

MOTTISFONT ABBEY Beano Time Travellers Activity Trail

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Skint

PAVILION, B’MTH Tea Dance / Jesus Christ Superstar

BIC B’MTH DPA Bournemouth Summer Festival

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Fame

PAVILION, B’MTH Jesus Christ Superstar

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE Genesis in Concert (tribute)

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Mr Wiseguy

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Fame

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

THE SWAN CENTRE, E’LEIGH Kiddie CON

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

ROCK THE PIER, HYTHE The Soulcatchers

DUKE OF WELLINGTON Shamrock Keys

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Monster

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Blink Daxe

KING CHARLES, POOLE The Pick Ups

CELLAR BAR, B’COMBE Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords

5 RIVERS, SOTON Platinum Sessions

BLUE KEYS, SOTON PiaNOTE

THE GEORGE, FAIR OAK Deep Thirteen

NURSLING CLUB Ivan J

PLATFORM TAVERN The Roughcuts

PLATFORM TAVERN Jon Crampton

HYTHE PIER Hythe Waterfront Band ( Fund Raiser)

THE DOLPHIN, ST DENYS The Outfit

SUNDAY 28TH

SATURDAY 27TH

O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON BSO & Inspiration Choir Southampton: songs of power

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Club Tropicana NUFFIELD TH’RES NST’S Hometown Chorus THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Derek Nash, Dave Newton, Geoff Gascoyne, Sebastiaan De Krom

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Matt Black KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Fame FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea THURSDAY 25TH MAYFLOWER TH’RE Club Tropicana THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Chasing Mumford HANGER FARM TH’RE Jack Barry and Adam Hess

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES 3 River Cruise

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping

MOTTISFONT ABBEY Beano Time Travellers Activity Trail

THE BROOK Here & Now

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Fame

MOTTISFONT ABBEY Beano Time Travellers Activity Trail

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Believe - The Cher Songbook

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

BIC B’MTH DPA Bournemouth Summer Festival

TUESDAY 23RD

PAVILION, B’MTH Jesus Christ Superstar

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Club Tropicana

WEDGEWOOD RMS Shonen Knife

THE BERRY TH’RE Choice Grenfell Pokemon: Detective Pikachu

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Charity Quiz & Curry Night In Aid of Smile 4 Wessex

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Fame

PLAZA TH’RE The Searchers and Hollies Experience

ROBIN HOOD, SHOLING The Hairdressers

SALISB’Y ARTS CENTRE NT Live: The Lehman Trilogy

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Deano as Phil Collins The Guns N Roses Experience

BIC B’MTH DPA Bournemouth Summer Festival

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping THE JOINERS The Physics House Band RAILWAY INN, WINCH Jess Dayton Band

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea PLATFORM TAVERN Jack Francis & Friends

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Club Tropicana NUFFIELD TH’RES Summer Sounds

LEGACY FEST, E’LEIGH Nick Tann LAKESIDE RAILWAY Evening Train Rides with Food and Music THE JOINERS The Orb

MOTTISFONT ABBEY Beano Time Travellers Activity Trail

FRIDAY 26TH

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Fame

MAYFLOWER TH’RE Club Tropicana

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

PLAZA TH’RE This Is Your Life! 1994-2019

NEW FOREST INN A’HURST New Forest Fest

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH The Deep Blue Sea

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Navi as Michael Jackson

MOTTISFONT ABBEY Beano Time Travellers Activity Trail

FIREHOUSE Abysall Festival

THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Sunday Lunch with Rule The World as Take That Graeme Hewitt’s High Society Jazz Band MOTTISFONT ABBEY Beano Time Travellers Activity Trail

PAVILION, B’MTH The ELO Experience THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH The Soul Classics

www.theconcordeclub.com MONDAY 29TH HANGER FARM TH’RE African Activities Holiday Club MOTTISFONT ABBEY Beano Time Travellers Activity Trail PAVILION, B’MTH New Jersey Nights WEDGEWOOD RMS Wedge Comedy Club KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Ye Ha Summer School FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

BULL HOTEL, S’BURY Harv & Hugh’s R & B Jam TUESDAY 30TH HANGER FARM TH’RE African Activities Holiday Club HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES Hythe Market Day MOTTISFONT ABBEY Beano Time Travellers Activity Trail PAVILION, B’MTH New Jersey Nights FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

WEDNESDAY 31ST NUFFIELD TH’RES Measure for Measure THE BERRY TH’RE Measure for Measure THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Joe Stilgoe HANGER FARM TH’RE African Activities Holiday Club PAVILION, B’MTH Superslam Wrestling PAVILION, B’MTH New Jersey Nights THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Kev Jackson FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma

AUGUST 2019 THURSDAY 1ST THE BERRY TH’RE Annie

FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH 8 Hotels FRIDAY 2ND THE BERRY TH’RE Annie THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH DS: UK - In tribute to Dire Straits HANGER FARM TH’RE African Activities Holiday Club AGEAS BOWL Hampshire v Glamorgan HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Butterfly Day / Archaeology Activity THE JOINERS Masked Intruder THE ARTHOUSE Matthew Smith & Friends RAILWAY INN, WINCH Rosalie Cunningham Band FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Wickham Festival PAVILION, B’MTH New Jersey Nights THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH The Mabels KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Ye Ha Summer School FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH 8 Hotels

EASTLEIGH Urban Beach WICKHAM FESTIVAL Dan O’Farrell & The Difference Engine SATURDAY 3RD THE BERRY TH’RE Annie / The Tales of Merlin THE CONCORDE, E’LEIGH Showaddywaddy ENGINE ROOMS Unicorn & Prosecco Festival THE STAGE DOOR So Boylesque BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES 80s Party Night SS SHIELDHALL Fastnet Race & Trip to the Needles

WEDGEWOOD RMS The Dopamines

HANGER FARM TH’RE African Activities Holiday Club Throwback Thursday: Footloose

KINGS TH’RE P’MTH That’ll Be The Day

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping

THE STRAWBERRY FIELD Reckless Skeletons

THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Titanic Survivors

MOTTISFONT ABBEY Outdoor Theatre: A Midsummer Night’s Dream

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Wickham Festival

THE GROVE CLUB Goldrush

FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Wickham Festival

PAVILION, B’MTH New Jersey Nights

POOLE HILL BREWERY Hugh Budden & The Blue Chords

PAVILION, B’MTH New Jersey Nights

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH The Clementines

C/F SOCIAL CLUB Chicago 9

open mic’s

We’re the first business to have played it ...

AND we’re still PLAYING IT! See what we did there?)

02380 639058 NO6 Oxford St, Soton so14 3dj

& regular events etc

SHIP INN, OLD REDBRIDGE Quiz Night - Every Tuesday MONKS BROOK Quiz Thursday nights THE ARTHOUSE Monthly Tuesday - Southampton Songwriters Wednesday - Poetry Stanza Thursday - Origami, Story Club Friday Epilepsy Coffee & Chat Weekly

WEDGEWOOD RMS

want your events on here? then send them to us! :)

Flying Machines FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH 8 Hotels SUNDAY 4TH SS SHIELDHALL Solent Cruise to see 5 Cruise Ships Depart FERNHAM HALL, F’HAM Wickham Festival THREE TUNS, R’SEY Cinnamon Jazz PAVILION, B’MTH Disco Inferno THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Led Free KINGS TH’RE P’MTH Guys & Dolls Summer School MONDAY 5TH THE BERRY TH’RE Beyond the Stage Summer School PAVILION, B’MTH The Mousetrap WEDGEWOOD RMS Imarhan FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

TUESDAY 6TH HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Stan’s Blues Jam FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH 8 Hotels WEDNESDAY 7TH HANGER FARM TH’RE

HIDDEN HISTORY SEE Southampton’s popular Hidden History. A walk through the past of Southampton, exploring the Vaults and Western Walls, recounting tales of yesteryear referencing historical characters, events and songs.’

A stroll around the ancient Western walls of the City, and an exploration of the town area inland to the High Street, including at least two of the medieval vaults.

From about 1100, Southampton was a walled city, the walls being finally completed in the 1300s. Starting from the Bargate, we visit sections of the North and West walls, and many parts of the old city, including its oldest Church, St Michael’s.

Their route enables them to include many famous aspects of the city’s varied history.

Places associated with Jane Austen are visited, and the City’s Spa Period from 1750-1830 is described. The Mayflower and Speedwell departed from Southampton.

Therefore important locations associated with the Pilgrim Fathers are also visited The City’s important maritime and commercial history is also described as is its role in conflicts from the Battle of Agincourt through to the Normandy Landings on D-Day. This includes a visit to the unique American Wall.

Tours depart the statues of the Lions at the north side of the Bargate

Movie for Kids: Madagascar

1st April to 30th September

BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES

Thursdays 1.30pm

3 River Cruise

Saturdays and Sundays 10.30 am and 1.30 pm

THOMAS TRIPP, B’MTH Richie Quain SALISB’Y PLAYHOUSE The Wizard of Oz FESTIVAL TH’RE, C’CH Oklahoma!

MINERVA TH’RE, C’CH 8 Hotels

Cost £6, accompanied children under 16 free.

This is just a guide (it says so on the cover) always check with the venue before getting your togs on and boarding the bus. Very few (so few it hurts) venues tell us when they change their events, that despite more internet access than mi5, from time to time we get something wrong ... sniff ...

Tuesday - Board Games Night Wednesday - French Language Cafe & British Sign Language club Thursday - Crafty Cafe THE FERRYMAN, WARSASH 1st Monday every month - Jam Night THE SHOOTING STAR Last Saturday of the month - Reloaded THE TESTWOOD Monday - Open Mic Tuesday - Charity Quiz Wednesday - Rock’n Roll Bingo Friday - Theme Music Night Last Saturday of month - Disco/Live Music Sunday - Poker League THE ALEXANDRA Sunday & Mondays - Free Pool, and Retro

want to buck the trend? email me at:

theandguide@ mail.com FLYING DUTCHMAN River Studio's Open Mic and Jam every other Friday night at 8pm to 11pm

Gaming. Thursdays - Open Mic WHITE HORSE, NETLEY MARSH Last Sunday of Month – Quiz Night Monday – All you can eat curry night SOUTHAMPTON ARMS, WEST END Quiz Night - First Monday of month RAILWAY INN, W'CHESTER Mondays - Roots Open Mic

FROG & FRIGATE Every Friday & Saturday night Frogging with The Legendary Derek & DJ Wednesdays Rebellion (Student Party Night) The First Monday of Month Stand Up At The Frog SCHOLARS ARMS Open Mic Night - Monday GRAND CAFE Live Music - Wednesdays TALKING HEADS Monday - The Candle Club Open Mic Every other Monday - Southampton Ukulele Jam Every other Thursday - Paul Young & Friends, Jazz saxaphone Southampton Jazz Club - Sunday in front bar.

Sunday Afternoon - Traditional Irish Acoustic Session

DRUMMOND ARMS, PORTSWOOD Sunday Quiz MALVERN Sundays - Quiz Nights BRIGADIER GERARD, HORTON HEATH Wednesday 8:30 Quiz FOX & HOUNDS, FAIR OAK Thursday Quiz 8:00 KING & QUEEN HAMBLE Live Music Sundays LANGLEY TAVERN Quiz Night - Every Wednesday ELEPHANT & CASTLE

METTRICKS GUILDHALL Jazz last Sunday of the month.

1st & last Saturday live music

THE HOBBIT Mondays - Games Night Tuesdays - Weekly Card Club Night Wednesdays - Jam Night Thursdays - Tom Bombadil's Cabaret Open Mic 3rd Monday of the Month - 3 Guys One Egg the station, Eastleigh Wednesday Quiz

SILVER FERN

BELLEMOOR TAVERN Quiz Night - Every Sunday

2nd Saturday Karaoke

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The er... travelling

by Dunc

MILBURYS THIS EXCITING EPISODE IN THE LIFE OF HAMPSHIRE’S FAVE PUB TEAM BY LEGEND IN HIS OWN LUNCHTIME ... DUNC. The Millbury’s season has started and as our usual narrator Yarn is far too busy supporting Wendy and their new born and upcoming colt Alfie. So a few of us have picked up the pen to tell our tales.

After an intensive winter net schedule and pub de-brief we were ready to face the new season. We have new mid week kit, it is a pink top and I mean PINK with the largest advertising panels that would fit, it takes the opposition some getting used to as the blur of pink races towards them releasing yep you guessed it a pink ball. So at the risk of fines for wrong kit, we all now need larger bags to fit it all in. Our first Sunday match was against the Bournemouth old gentleman at home, these gents often give us a good hiding but this year the old gentlemen are a little older with a couple of septuagenarians amongst their ranks.

They started well but we managed to keep their runs down in the 20 over match. Ally and Johners opened for us and peppered the outfield, they both got over fifty and gave us a great start, we all contributed and it wasn’t long before we were sampling the beer at the Millbury’s and copious amounts of chips, sausages and mystery meat patties as we settled for a fine first match win sum up and fines.

Our next match was at Bosham, to play Chidham and Hambrook. We batted first and it was a bit of a Millbury’s collapse, only Jim C who made much

Above: At our beloved Ageas Bowl studying technique for a heavy drinking season ahead.

Below: presented with our regular doorstop, otherwise known as ‘The Usual Win Over The Old Bill Exiles Trophy’ own front door step carrying a beer on the way out??.. So we batted first captained by Yarn, Ally and I (Dunc ) opened we held off their bowlers for a few overs but Ally hit a long 6 and out, luckily his bat didn’t cartwheel into the bushes, everyone made a contribution, although we did have a chuckle brothers run out, with Faz joining a puzzled looking Geoff in his crease. Luckily Johnners knocked off an unbeaten 43 with LT supporting well with a 10 and we ended up with a good 169.

Droxford have an infamous batsmen who quickly scored 37, them they called for a quick run, BA

We managed to hold on to all of the catches, yours truly had a ball come out of the low sun, I cupped my ...nether regions for protection and the ball landed straight into my hands! better use of my bat and scored 50. They came in to bat and soon had the measure of our bowlers; LT and BA were first in the firing line. We managed to hold on to all of the catches, yours truly had a ball come out of the low sun, I cupped my ...nether regions for protection and the ball landed straight into my hands – phew! But they were too good and knocked off our total, but they did put on a great curry in the pub afterwards.

Our next game with the Raqueteers at home, we always have close games. Their openers came in and were soon resting back in the pavilion having knocked off their 25. Nathan and Alex bowled well and kept them honest but they got a beatable 139.

We had a bit of a collapse with Donald getting signed twice by Faz and Jim C, Geoffers retired on 25 and Johners scored 21 but we couldn’t get the last 11 runs and so it was our second loss . It was more Morecambe and Wise cricket – a case of all of the right shots but not necessarily in the right order.

Our next keenly awaited next match was with Droxford at home, on the sloping pitch with two large Plain trees I think within the boundary. We had a great match last year, down to the last 2 runs but we lost. We did almost lose Jim 4 Skin before we started, something about falling down his

scooped up the ball threw to Jim who demolished the wicket and he was run out. The big Yarn thundered down the slope causing some of their batsman to jump out of the way, it was funny when viewed from mid wicket not so when facing Yarn 22 yd’s away. Geoffers, BA, Johners and Faz all taking wickets and LT and Rob being Mr No wickets despite some cracking over’s, we soon had them all out for 111 and so won comfortably. Then back to the Millbury’s, the only pub open on Sunday evening in the whole of Christendom due to the Wickham horse fair. More sampling of a few beers, chips and sausages following a good win and of course more fines, Jim had to empty most of his wallet in due to missing some tough chances. So 2 won 2 lost – up the Millbury’s.

Since writing the riveting novel above, the end of May saw the return of our talisman Tricky with our opening bat duo of runs contributing to our first silverware of the season with another win over The ‘Old Bill’ Exiles in the ‘Win Over The Old Bill Exiles Trophy’ as it’s now going to be known. (Just thought it was important to mention that Dunc. Ed.)

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MIC’s broadcast

page 39

The adventures of our cheeky smiling durley boy

Mr Tein

Michael Kurn

THE ROUTE MAY CHANGE BUT THE BOYHOOD DREAMS CAN STILL COME TRUE Well what a few months it has been, where to start? No better place than the end of the Premier League season. Another successful year covering all the action with even more experience under the belt. I can’t believe its been five seasons working with IMG... time really has flown by.

This season though was capped off with the chance of a lifetime. The opportunity to host the Southampton Football Club Player Awards. With my job its fair to say as a fan this is the pinnacle.

I’m very lucky to have had the opportunity to have experienced many things a fan would give their right arm for.

From being in the tunnel pre match with work, playing in a charity match on the pitch and scoring at the Northam End, but I have to say this one capped it for me.

The highlight has to be meeting club legend Terry Paine, a club icon who now works on SuperSport in Africa covering the Premier League. Our paths have crossed but never in person but Terry greeted me like an old friend. What an honour for me. We had a great conversation about our TV work and the club and I look forward to accepting his invitation to dinner. (Just need to get myself to South Africa). A huge thank you to the club for asking me to host the evening which was a huge success and fingers crossed I might be back again next season.

But that wouldn’t be my only boyhood dream I got fulfil and the end of the season. Growing up being part of an FA Cup Final was always the goal. Initially emulating the success of 1976 was my plan, playing in a final for Southampton and winning that famous trophy. When the plan changed and ‘presenting’ was the career, the FA Cup still had a fond place in my heart. The goal now had always been to be part of the team presenting it.

It was a goal I wasn’t expecting to accomplish so soon.

This year though I got the chance of a lifetime when the call came in from TalkSport to be part of their final day coverage. Being on Wembley way during the build up was unforgettable and a huge thanks to all the TalkSport team for making me feel so welcome.

A busy summer now awaits. Cricket World Cup has arrived on our shores and it's a privilege to be presenting some of the games. Notably four at the Hampshire Bowl, the atmosphere at the first game was electric so fingers crossed that will be continued across the whole competition.

A big thank you to everyone who came up to me at the India game to say hello. It’s never lost on me pitch side that what we do make’s a big impact on peoples days with all the build up. When a fan comes up to say they enjoyed it its always pleasing to hear what the team has put together has worked so thank you.

Desire Dream Vision continues to grow. The book is flying off the shelves and there are only a few copies left of the limited first edition. If you haven’t got yours yet don’t panic.

Head over to www.desiredreamvision.com to get yours.

Here’s to a fantastic summer with plenty of sport to enjoy until the next issue.

Michael

Social Media @michaelkurn michaelkurn.com

OUR End Of Season Awards

It’s time for The AND Guide & Mr Tein end of season awards where there is no luxury venue or fabulous 5 course dinner with vintage wine. But depending where you are reading this you may enjoy a nice cup of coffee, a cooked breakfast or some fish and chips!

MANAGER OF THE SEASON. Now most season’s this would be a bit of a one horse race but not this time. Mark Hughes early promise at the end of last season never came. Although he returned from the summer break, that’s where the promise ended. For all we know he’s still lounging on a beach in Marbella. Yes he started to get a tune out of Nathon Redmond but the points lost tally was getting rather overwhelming. So… with Mark Hughes left out of the running that leaves the Field to Ralph Hasenhuttl, a breath of fresh air who united fans and players alike. A fabulous home victory against Arsenal and later Spurs made him an instant fan favourite. However, only two points from the last 3 winnable games was a slight dark cloud on his sunny first season. It’s for that reason the manager of the year is awarded to Radhi Jaïdi for getting Southampton promotion into the under 23 First Division through winning an enjoyable and exciting play off final against Newcastle. The youngsters will always be our salvation at the Saints as we lack the muscle (or the will. Ed) in the transfer market to buy success. Radhi’s coaching is therefore vital for the new generation of youngers to break into the team.

PLAYER OF THE SEASON Another left field choice here. Back in November most casual and maybe most passionate Saints fans were unaware of a 20 year old lad called Yan Valery. He made his debut on the 27th November and very quickly made the right back

position his own. In 24 games he has scored twice including a scorcher at Old Trafford, created 5 chances and made 1 assist fully showing his attacking credentials. Defensively he is still learning but has achieved an 85% win rate in tackles. Compare that to Romeu on 56% and Hojbjerg on 69% … not too bad! With Ralph’s coaching and a settled central defence he can be a key player for us next season.

EX SAINTS – HIGHLIGHTS OF THE YEAR. Whatever happened in this year’s Champions League semi-finals, ex Saints were going to be a feature of the final. Sadly, the revitalised Tadic missed out, but left us with a final where there may well be a 3rd dressing room. Spurs, Liverpool and ex-Saints. As ever we have that ‘what if?’ feeling of Marcus continuing his dream and it could have been us in the final this year. As it was it was a case of picking which of our old boys you wanted to support. I suspect, for many, it may well have been Spurs! But… get your own song boys!

CLEAR OUT OF THE SEASON Mr Gao may be very silent but there is no doubt his new broom has been put to good use in sweeping away to tidy up the club. Both Les Reed and Ralph Kruger paid the price for the perceived failures of the last few season in terms of management appointments, recruitment and coaching issues. From May 1917 to May 1918 we have had 4 managers and had to pay off about 7 years of contracted salary.

And so that ends our End of Season Awards, but as the players head off to their frugal summer holidays ... a few titbits to mull over.

Our salary increase was the smallest of the Premier League clubs with one exception which may be one factor why we have failed so badly on the pitch. Other established clubs also recognised their wages had to increase to maintain their league status. Everton went up 29%, Bournemouth went up 30% and Burnley 33%. Perhaps why we finished below all 3 of those clubs? But all that aside, overall we had the 10th highest salary bill … higher than our final league placing.

PREMIER LEAGUE SALARY TABLE

NEW RULES FOR 2019/2020 SEASON.

Club accounts up to the 2017-18 season show how salaries have increased in the Premiership and how some clubs are able to lure talented players to join them but without always bringing the expected success. Manchester United are still the biggest payers at £296 million, an increase of 12% on the previous season.

Liverpool, who have made a habit of poaching our best have the second biggest wage bill at £263 million which is an increase of 26% on the prior year. In the same period Southampton FC salaries went from £112 m to £113m that’s a massive 1%! You can see why a move to Man Utd may treble a player’s wages and a move to Liverpool more than double it.

The game is changing next year and it’s a fact no matter how much you love football you tend not to read the rules of the game but will argue till your blue in the face about their interpretation. Facts eh. Who needs them? But so you are ready for next season, here are a few new interpretations to expect.

FREE KICKS: NO ATTACKING PLAYERS IN WALL From next season a rule change will prohibit attacking players from being in the wall. Specifically, when there is a wall of three or more players then attackers are not allowed within one metre of it. Any attacking player found to be less than one metre from the wall when a free kick is taken will be penalised and the other team will be rewarded with an indirect free kick.

It is quite likely now that the player clean up will come soon, assuming we have buyers in mind.

Again money was wasted on transfer fees and wages for players who have barely brushed against the first team. When fans wonder where all the Premiership money has gone it doesn’t take long to work it out. Overall the best decision this club made for some time was to bring in Ralph Hasenhuttl at the expense of Mark Hughes and so the award has to go to Mr Hughes.

FAVOURITE MOMENT OF THE SEASON. A3t the start of the year seeing Liverpool 7 points clear of Man City at the top of the league was not giving me a warm feeling. However a Liverpool slump and a perfect run from Man City left Scoushampton with weeks of hope but ultimately despair.

HOPE(S) FOR NEXT SEASON Gao to remember the password to his bank account. A striker who can align a banjo and a barn door. The new Jose Fonte. To be in the top half of the table.

That VAR actually works. Saints home fans out singing the away fans again. No poaching our talent. The club support the victims of Bob Higgins. After 100 years we finally get to winning two major trophies. I grow to like the new kit (You won’t. Ed).

SUBSTITUTIONS: PLAYERS MUST LEAVE PITCH AT NEAREST POINT The rule-makers have struck a further blow against cynicism in the game by introducing a change to substitution protocol and players who are being taken off and replaced must now leave the pitch by the nearest point on the touchline, which means we will no longer be forced to endure preposterously slow walks to the half-way line. Players must make their way straight to the technical area or dressing room otherwise they risk being sanctioned for unsporting behavior.

YELLOW & RED CARDS FOR COACHES In order to clamp down on difficult behaviour from coaches who don't see eye to eye with the referee or their opposite number, officials will be able to show them yellow or red cards, in the same way they do with players.

PENALTY KICKS: GOALKEEPERS MUST HAVE AT LEAST ONE FOOT ON LINE The issue of penalty kicks has cropped up a few times in recent years and the trend has been towards reducing the freedom of the goalkeeper. That hasn't changed with the latest update to the rules, which dictate that the shot-stopper must not be moving or touching

the goalposts. The new rule changes also say that the goalkeeper must have at least part of one foot on or in line with the goal-line.

HANDBALL: ACCIDENTAL OFFENCES DEEMED FREE KICKS Essentially, the changes will mean that there will be no goal in cases where the ball accidentally strikes a player's hand before crossing over the line. Similarly, if a player has accidentally handled the ball and created an advantage or subsequently scores, they will be penalised with a free kick. This should get rid of all the arguments over handball. In your dreams, of course.

DROP BALL NO LONGER COMPETITIVE The dropped ball is no more. Well, at least not as we know it. If play is stopped inside the penalty area the ball will simply be dropped for the goalkeeper. If it is stopped outside the penalty area the ball will be dropped for a player from the team that last touched the ball. In all cases, players will have to be at least four metres (four and a half yards) away.

And that’s it for another season folks. Happy Holidays and up the Saints!

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