#13 The AND Guide Feb/March 2016

1,000’S OF THINGS TO DO OVER FEBRUARY & MARCH. FREE SOUTHAMPTON’S KICK-ASS Listings, Reviews & Comment PAPER! TONS OF GIGS, SHOWS, FAMILY EVENTS AND MORE. bi-monthly issue LUCKY 13 : FEBRUARY / MARCH 2016

HAPPY 2nd Birthday TO US! SOUTHAMPTON’S FAVOURITE ECLECTIC VENUE THE TALKING HEADS, PREPARES ITS NEW HOME AT THE MAPLE LEAF, POLYGON

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Located within, and a welcome addition to, Pinkmead Farm Equestrian Centre.

The restaurant’s traditional feel makes for comfortable dining, with slate floors, oak beams and a beautiful open fire to enjoy a coffee after your meal.

Kings Country Bar & Restaurant, Kings Corner, Botley, Southampton, SO30 2HA Reservations: 01489 796162 www.kingscountrybar.co.uk

“Congratulations Martin, I love what we’re doing for our city in our paper!”

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023 8033 4477 Bathrooms Plus, 72 The Avenue (Stag Gates), Southampton SO17 1XS Email: bathroomsplus@hotmail.co.uk www.bathroomsplus.me.uk

congratulations to martin & The AND Guide on 2 years promoting southampton!

Popped over to India to see some cricket with my dear old mate Geoffers a few months. It was meant to be his birthday treat, but... they moved the game.

So instead we found ourselves being invited for the spicyest tea in the cricket world by our new friends at Delhi Raiders. If only everybody played cricket.

There wouldn’t be any need for wars.

Hello AND Land and welcome to 2nd our Birthday Edition of The AND Guide!

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Southampton: 02380 663 783 Portsmouth 02392 177 142 Bournemouth 01202 929 318

Is this issue special? I hope so. It’s just not very Birthday-e... if that’s a word?

You’d think I’d know, but as I keep telling anyone fool enough to listen, I’m not a real editor. Just a local musician with a big mouth. I was fed of not knowing what was going on in my own city, my wife was even more fed up listening to me going on about it and told me to put up or shut up. Well the rest is herstory. I am now the alleged leader of some of the most gifted and passionate writers in Southampton and I’m extremely proud of them and extremely grateful, because they make me look smart. The contributions in this issue are in my opinion, even more entertaining than usual. So thank you team, I’ve had a real laugh putting this together.

As usual I’m writing this last minute, even as the other pages speed across the interwebthingy, even though I promised myself that this issue I’d be more prepared. Trouble is I just don’t know what to write about, so I don’t. Leading to this now two year bi-monthly ramble at 3:30 in the morning.

Funnily enough I’ve had several offers to go into politics. They weren’t even joking. No official party approaches, but a few chaps with money, lots of money actually, a few er... political activists I believe is the proper term although ‘headcases’ might be better, and even one fella that used to write the speeches for a country not too far from here.

Along with my wife I’m sure you’ll be delighted to know I turned them all down. You see, modesty aside, I don’t think having a strong opinion about stuff or even the odd good idea, or even being bang on the money, is enough. Which is why dear old Jeremy Corbin will never get elected. If you want to change things, you have to actually be able to change them. In politics it means having allies, sometimes you wont like them but you’ll need them. You'll need to compromise on things you disagree with. And that is why I wouldn’t want to be a

MEET THE PEAS Did you find Them hiding in the Last issue?

Really? It’s meant to be for kids.

Better luck this issue then!

Can you find Annie? She’s in every issue of course!

politician. I don’t have any allies I don’t like and I don’t really compromise on anything I feel strongly about. (And no I don’t agree with everything from JC, that’s Corbin not er Chris... you get the picture) Which is why when you read AND Magazine (oops time slip) when you read The AND Guide hopefully you are reading the truth. If it says a place is worth visiting, a band is worth listening to, or a cause is worth supporting, in my opinion or that of someone I trust ... it is. I simply won’t print anything intentionally that I can’t back up. AND yes I’ve upset more than a couple of advertisers because I extend that to them. If they can’t prove they’re the best Sausage Fryer in Shetland I’m sorry but I won’t let them say it. It’s probably why I’m not rich.

So please enjoy The AND Guide and let me know what you reckon to the tons of places we recommend? Tell them I sent you. It won’t help you but apparently I’m supposed to say that being a newspaper.

Hey… why don’t you leave me a message on Facebook? I’d so love to hear from you. Together we will wake the old place up! www.facebook.com/the-

andguide Take very good care folks and thank you so much for supporting the paper.

It’s put together with love and affection by: Paul Ridge, Louise Beach Steel, Barry Upton, Matt Black, Ellen Cotter, Chris Barfoot, Russell Cook, Tina Wellman, Martin Boorman, Rosalind Fountain, Stuart Davis, Fatima Zahib, Tony Wright, Jezz Phipp, Lucy McNeil, Mike Plumbley, Tony Long, David Walker, my spiritual advisors Annie Philpott and Steve Ellis and my long suffering wife Tracey. I’d also like to thank my new delivery army of Loraine and almost everyone at The Frog & Frigate, Eddy Hailwood and PS super fan Maureen.

I’ve never felt so spoilt. Shall we form a political party?

theandguide@mail.com 07969 174 586

GREEN COLUMN Amongst all the billions of planets known to man, there is still only one known to support life. It’s this one. Let’s look after it ... be stupid not to?

When I saw this ad, it made me cry. Want to do something? Turn a light off. Hell... go mad and turn 2 lights off!

Turn standby plugs off, boil less when you make a cup of tea. Recycle. Don’t insist on bleedin’ fresh fruit everyday from another continent! It aint healthy, it’s actually killing our kids. This pic doesn’t need a caption does it?

Here’s one anyway ... “Hey Dad, why did you and Mum let them kill our planet?”

Martin Perry

for W AY O D N OK R’S h 6 BO THE Marc y MOunda S

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A warm friendly pub serving a fine selection of beers lagers and wine complemented by gorgeous homemade meals made with fresh produce on-site FOOD: Monday 12-3 & 5-8pm, Tuesday-Thursday 12-3 & 5-9pm Friday and Saturday 12-10 and Sunday 12-9 (Sun lunch 12-6pm) THURSDAY: Quiz night (Quiz from 8pm) 1st MONDAY: Jam Night first Monday of the month

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Congratulations The AND Guide ... another tasty year!

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page 5

Otter Bites

LEGaL EAGLE David Walker

Walter Otter

THERE'S A STARMAN WAITING IN THE SKY . . .

Why cash is king, in any business We’ve all heard the saying “Cash is king, profit is sanity and turnover is vanity”, but have you ever stopped to really think about what this means?

When I ask entrepreneurs what success in business means to them, the answers I receive are usually along the lines of “to make as much profit as possible.”

I often cringe when I hear this because it usually means they’re focusing on the wrong thing and consequently are in line to join the 55% of small businesses that don’t survive their first five years.

I’ve been a solicitor for over 15 years and throughout this time I’ve seen many, many businesses come and go and when they close, they take with them the shattered dreams of their owners. I’ve also seen some amazing successes where the owners seem to turn everything they touch to gold with almost not effort.

down and no matter how large the figure is, you can’t spend profits.

You can only spend cash.

So, cash is what you should be focussing on.

You’re focus should be on generating as much cash as possible because when you have sufficient cash reserves, the possibilities and opportunities open to you are endless. It also makes your business more secure and more valuable.

When your business has cash available to it, you can re-invest for growth, you can re-pay debts to reduce your liabilities and give you independence from lenders, such as banks that don’t share your vision of the future. You can pay yourself a dividend and reap the rewards of all your hard work and live the lifestyle you dreamed of when you started the business.

For a business that’s in financial difficulties, understanding this change in focus can be the deciding factor in whether or not it survives.

I’ve known people to turn around

Profits are just a line on your accounts. A theoretical amount which is left over when (in simple terms) you subtract your expenses away from your revenues.

WHY IS THIS? You may be surprised to hear that in most cases, it’s got nothing to do with whether the business was started with a good or bad idea. After all, how many world changing ideas can you think of that never got off the ground and how many times have you said “how on earth does that make money?”

What I’ve noticed over the years is a slight difference in focus between the successes and the failures. And this is good news, because it means you’re already closer than you might realise to becoming a huge success.

To join the successful, you don’t have to rebuild your business or do anything radical. All you have to do is make a minor shift in your thinking, change your focus by a couple of degrees and you will see the fortunes of your business starting to transform over night.

BUT IF PROFIT SHOULDN’T BE YOUR MAIN FOCUS, WHAT SHOULD YOU BE FOCUSING ON? Before I explain, let me explain what profits are.

Profits are just a line on your accounts. A theoretical amount which is left over when (in simple terms) you subtract your expenses away from your revenues.

You usually calculate this figure just a few times each year, when you’re preparing your management accounts and when you’re preparing your final year-end accounts.

But the trouble is, this figure is out of date as soon as you’ve written it

unprofitable businesses simply because they’ve been able to generate enough cash to pay their bills and buy themselves enough time to refocus their efforts.

These “turn around” experts are often thought of as geniuses but the truth is, they just know what to focus on and every business owner can do the same thing.

Likewise, failing to understand this can lead to trouble and this is why even profitable businesses can be forced to close if they run out of cash. Often, the owner is left bewildered because they thought everything was going well and they had no idea that the end was in sight.

So remember, cash really is king when it comes to building a successful business.

For more information and to find out the five keys to unlocking more cash in your business, please check out my blog. www.cashflowrescue.com/blog or email me at dwalker@cashflowrescue.com

Oh and the sign’s?

I just thought they were funny :)

A fellow Capricorn once played my diamond Wight island under the name of Davey Jones (And The Lower Third). He was dating a singer / dancer who lived there. “We met in Bournemouth.

We used to walk along Ventnor front, we did the cliff top walk. I was commuting from the island at the time. He was very intelligent, always looking up at the stars, he was into that.”

Susan Spurrier, page 44 Isle of Wight Rock by Vic King, Mike Plumbley and Pete Turner.

Who might have guessed the starman would eclipse his early gear humping days for multi sell out world tours as David Bowie. Strange things often begin on the diamond, where “time” as the philosopher once said “was not a road but a room.”

Hence in 1862 an old sea chest was washed up upon the rolling stone beach at Whale Chine on the southern coast of the diamond. When the chest was opened the journals of Walter Otter were revealed and amongst them one dated January 2016. In that particular journal Walter had noted the death of David Bowie and the aforementioned quote above.

Then Walter returned to the roots of the music where David Bowie and many of his contemporaries first got their chance to play, he details a packed pub on the outskirts of Eastleigh a town still smarting since their airport was renamed Southampton.

Still the locals are more than happy tonight. They have packed the Cricketers pub around a band called Something Else which may be a description of the lead singers crumpled shirt or his battered cowboy hat that had been in a few rodeos.

He is as grizzled as Lemmy and fired up to give the audience one good time.

The five piece band behind him are more than able and ready to

do just the same. It's a classic lead and rhythm guitar, bass, drums and tenor saxophone ready to raise the rafters and go into orbit for over two and a half hours.

Walter's initial wariness as the lead singer set up the gear was that Something Else were going to be an amps up to eleven and play 'at' the audience rather than engage and hook them along for the ride. It was the latter. Classic Chuck Berry, Beatles, Stones, Joe Walsh, Bob Seger, Tom Jones and more that swept up the audience and had joint rocking and dancing from start to finish. The whole band nailed it, the lead guitar soared, the band as tight as the Chancellor's wallet.

The lead singer, sang in front of the crowd, behind the crowd, up the room, down the room and the saxophonist wellied up and walked the same walk. Hey Joe after the Jimi version went off the richter scale and back again and seemed to last twenty minutes or more and all around the Cricketers the punters were giving their lungs an outing on each and every chorus.

By the time it all subsided it was near midnight, the band dripped sweat, their audience well satisfied drank their beers and drew deep breaths. A huge smile breaking on each and every face.

And Walter thought this was just like that night at a sweaty and crammed Winter Gardens when Davey Jones supported the Pretty Things in 1965 . .

Walter Otter

“Congrat’s to Martin and all associated with The AND Guide”

My congratulations on the 2nd anniversary of all your hard work. Well done Martin, a pint on me to celebrate!

WHAT’S WHAT’S ON ON IN IN FEBRUARY FEBRUARY FRI FRI 5TH 5TH LEWIS LEWIS SMITH SMITH SUN BLUES @ @ CURBRIDGE CURBRIDGE CREEK CREEK SUN 7TH 7TH BLUES FRI FRI 12TH 12TH SKYLINE SKYLINE 12-14TH 12-14TH VALENTINE'S VALENTINE'S MENU MENU BOOK BOOK NOW! NOW! WEDS WEDS 17TH 17TH PS_PERRYSTONE PS_PERRYSTONE HILL HILL ++ MICK MICK SPEARS SPEARS FRI FRI 19TH 19TH SOULCATCHERS SOULCATCHERS FRI FRI 26TH 26TH SOMETHING SOMETHING ELSE ELSE WHAT’S WHAT’S ON ON IN IN MARCH MARCH FRI FRI 4TH 4TH THE THE PICK PICK UPS, UPS, ROCK ROCK 'N' 'N' ROLL ROLL SUN SUN 6TH 6TH MOTHER'S MOTHER'S DAY. DAY. BOOK BOOK NOW! NOW! BLUES BLUES @ @ CURBRIDGE CURBRIDGE CREEK CREEK FRI FRI 11TH 11TH RU40 RU40 FRI FRI 18TH 18TH SHAMROCK SHAMROCK KEYS KEYS FRI FRI 25TH 25TH TEE'D TEE'D UP UP EASTER EASTER WEEKEND WEEKEND SUN SUN 27TH 27TH THE THE VINYL VINYL BEATS BEATS

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“Congratulations to the superb AND Guide for a mouth-watering 2nd year.

You’re doing a great job putting Southampton on the map!”

“Proud to support AN D. 2 years young and making a difference for our city.”

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page 7

Stu’s FESTIVE live music picks Stuart Davis

Music has been tinged with sadness over the last few weeks with Lemmy, Natalie Cole, John Bradbury (The Specials), Dale Griffin (Mott the Hoople), Glen Frey and perhaps most shockingly of all David Bowie all sadly passing away. They will all be sorely missed but there are still plenty of reasons to feel upbeat where music is concerned, especially when it comes to the local live scene in Hampshire in February and March.

The reasons to be cheerful start at the Joiners where elementary Sheffield alt-rockers 'The Sherlocks', endearing folk singer 'Will Varley', Wildheards founder 'CJ Wildheart', the heavy 'Skinny girl/diet' and Gomez frontman 'Ben Ottewell' with his uniquely unmistakable rasping voice, will all be taking to the stage. Also look out for the high flying 'Spitfires', who have been dubbed as 'the new sound of British rock', a debut album launch from 'Bitter Town Hounds' and Shaun Ryder endorsed Mancunians

'Alias Kid', who boast none other than one time Creation records founder and Oasis/Libertines chief Alan McGee as their manager.

Amongst the wide range of enticements that will be turning heads at The Talking Heads are inventive Columbian roots collective 'Atlantico', biblically named thrash metallers 'Exodus', stoner grunge trio 'Tracer', electro wizards 'Tenek', ex Michael Shenker/Rainbow vocalist 'Graham Bonnet' (and his band) and…shiver me timbers, a folky hoedown with 'Blackbeard’s tea party'. You can also revel in the captivating tones of 'Maz O'Connor', award winning blues guitar virtuoso 'Chantel McGregor', an fascinating mix of 'neo classical pop punk metal with Goth Tinges courtesy of the 'Fearless Vampire Killers' while Punk stalwarts 'The Vibrators' will be creating a buzz at the venue as part of their 40th anniversary tour.

The line up at The Southampton 02 Guildhall appears to have something of a singer/songwriter theme with one time Czars frontman 'John Grant', acclaimed ex-Longpigs/Pulp guitarist turned solo artist 'Richard Hawley' and housewives favourite James Morrison' all rolling up along with Texan Power pop quartet 'Bowling for Soup' and a double bill of noisy metal starring 'Sabaton' and 'Alestorm'.

Amongst the fine assortments of temptations set to make ripples at the Brook are 1980's synth exponents 'Blancmange', new wave blues aces 'The Producers', the new Deep Purple, aka heavy rockers 'Inglorious', Dub Pioneer 'Banco de Gaia', the magnificently compelling 'Turin Brakes' and a dream dub reggae double bill of 'Lee Scratch Perry' and the 'Mad Proffessor'. Once again there is also a sufficient mixture of Superstar clone tribute acts including Guns N Roses, UB40, Oasis, Rolling Stones, U2, ZZ Top, Queen, Bon Jovi, Bob Marley and Elton John.

Accelerating into action at The Engine Rooms will be highly esteemed Beta Band originator 'Steve Mason' and the multifarious genre

influenced 'Matt Corby'. There is also something of a 1990's revival taking place with Northern Irish rockers 'Therapy!' evergreen Indie tunesmiths 'The Charlatans' and the wonderful 'Wonderstuff', who are, unbelievably, celebrating 30 years of melodic mayhem this year…how time flies, it’s enough to make you feel a bit dizzy.. I also have a good feeling that' Reef' fans will very much want to place their hands on some tickets for the Glastonbury funk rockers show there.

The 1865 hosts local darlings 'Rufus Stone', Poland’s finest 'Piersi' and a Valentines bandeoke night with bandeoke specialists 'Daisy and the Toasters', you can catch the marvellous 'Memphis Belles' and controversial funny man 'Frankie Boyle' at the Mayflower whilst the superb 'Hobo Jones and the Junkyard Dogs' and 'Lip service' will be turning the heat at the Firehouse Other venues in town where you can witness great live music are The Horse and Jockey (Curbridge), The Frog and Frigate, The Windsor Castle, The Old George (Fair Oak), Mettricks, The Alexandra, The Navigator (Swanwick) The Swan (Woolston), The Art House, The Dolphin in St Denys and of course some of the best blues in town at The Platform Tavern.

There will also be a new venue opening in the heart of the city,Notes cafe will be situated at Hanover Buildings and aims to bring a great variety of food, drink and music to the City's evergrowing cultural tastes. Go along and support them at the grand opening weekend on 20/21st February if you can.

M-Person 'Heather Small', smooth soul icon 'Alexander O Neal' and veteran crooners 'The Drifters' will all be soaring into the Concorde Club alongside the most ironically named band to appear at the venue 'Johnny hates Jazz'. Johnny may hate it but the regulars love it and it is once again healthily represented by 'Jive Aces', 'Gojo' (Girls only Jazz Orchestra), 'Savannah Jazz Band' and 'Echoes of Ellington Jazz orchestra'. There is also

a healthy smattering of tributes, with homages being paid to Michael Buble, The Kinks, Dolly Parton, Taylor Swift, Amy Winehouse,Michael Jackson, Pink and Lady Ga Ga. Alternative London band 'Jeeps' will be bringing their 'Post punk energy adorned with polished complex harmonies and ethereal dream pop elements' to The Railway in Winchester where you can also witness Starsailor’s 'James Walsh', talented Basingstoke upstarts 'Flashfires', the eclectic 'Hot Feet', local favourites 'Kinesis 4' and all girl garage group 'The Franklys' (described as being like The Hives but with better hair and makeup!) doing their thing.

There is also a wholesome feast of delights just a short drive down the motorway in Portsmouth too.. a hefty chunk of them can be found at The Wedgewood Rooms where uber cool Echo and the Bunnymen mainman 'Ian McCulloch', 'Tesseract', London's raucous 'Fat White Family' (promoting their latest album Songs for our Mothers), 'Kitty Daisy and Lewis', the brilliant 'Keston Cobblers Club' and the best punk band of all time 'Snuff' (also celebrating 30 years in the business) are amongst the chief lures. The Wedge will also be hosting 'A night of David Bowie' with local musicians paying their respect to the late iconic superstar in aid of Rowans Hospice and Macmillan Cancer Support.

Irish Ivor Novello award winner 'Hozier', celtic rock troubadours 'Runrig', AOR Songstress 'Judie Tzuke', much lauded and extremely talented Columbus duo 'Twenty One Pilots' and the 'Piatti Quartet' will all be treading the boards at the Portsmouth Guildhall whilst over at the Kings theatre you can enjoy a nostalgic smattering of 1980's music with bagpipe guitar pioneers 'Big Country', 'Midge Ure', 'Nick Heyward' and 'Curiosity Killed the Cat'...a band who's name, even to this day, I still can’t get my head round.

The Pyramids play host to Florida’s 'Mayday Parade', Northern Irish Punk

RICH HAWLEY

legends 'Stiff Little Fingers', acclaimed singer songwriter 'Foxes'. 'Gabrielle Aplin' (described by GQ magazine as 'an acoustic queen for the digital age), slick soulful pop RnB purveyors 'The Neighbourhood' and the stunningly brilliant 'Cat Empire' (see article elsewhere in issue), who, in my humble opinion are quite simply one of the best bands around. Take it from me; this is a gig you will not want to miss.

Local venues worth checking out include The RMA Tavern, The Fat Fox, The Drift, The Rifle Club, The Duke of Buckingham, The Eldon Arms, The Golden Eagle, The Auckland Arms, The edge of the Wedge, The Jolly Sailor and The Barley Mow in Southsea. A special mention should go to The Green Posts in North End will be hosting live music for the first time with the fantastic lively covers band 'Mista Messy', who's extensive gig schedule over the next couple of months will also be taking in The Old House at Home, the Bird in Hand (Fareham), The Carisbrooke Arms (Gosport) and The Vine (Gosport).

Finally the Ferneham Halls in Fareham features Mersey beat veterans 'Gerry and the Pacemakers' and the genius that is cheeky Cockney duo 'Chas n Dave'…you definitely want to Gertcha self a ticket for this one!

So, as you can see that although Music has suffered some losses recently, it is still very much alive and thriving...so get out and enjoy it where it sounds best...live.!

www.thinkermusic.co.uk

TURIN BRAKES

GABRIELLE APLIN

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Notable new venue opening A new venue will be looking to strike all the right notes with music (and food) lovers when it opens on 20th February 2016 in Southampton.

Notes cafe is the brainchild of directors Jo Fox and James Norton who hit upon the idea of opening their own venue after experiencing the delights of numerous tiny back room bars and quirky music venues in London and after enlisting help from the Solent Business Growth Network and Solent Local Enterprise Partnership are now ready for their big launch in February.

James states that "Passion for live music is the backbone of this project, coupled with a desire to create a more relaxed, laid back atmosphere which gave the café option the edge over a pub or bar".

Musical diversity is key, and that will be firmly on the menu, says Jo: "From a barbershop quartet to a full on rock band, from a

folk guitarist to a steel drum band, nothing is off limits at The Notes Café.

We want to promote creativity in all its musical glory!" The large stage and house PA system was designed by a gigging guitar player, and is perfect for local musicians and bands to showcase their talents, as well as higher profile artists looking for warm up gigs.

A fine selection of wines, beers and spirits will also be on offer to accompany a unique food menu and fantastic hot barista drinks, all freshly made and in keeping with their ethical philosophy of fresh and healthy food, sourced locally where possible.

The grand opening weekend takes place over Saturday 20th and Sunday 21st February, further announcements will be made very soon via social media (Facebook/twitter) and the local press. For more information, email: hello@thenotescafe.co.uk In an age where live music establishment are becoming more and more scarce, it is great to see a vibrant new venue opening and here at the ANDguide we wish Jo and James every success with their new venture.

The Notes Café, 14-15 Hanover Buildings, Southampton SO14 1AE www.thenotescafe.co.uk

page 9

As part of our support for local charities and good causes, The AND Guide is delighted to align itself with projects of all sizes, shapes or form. So please get in touch. If we have room and you’re not raising money to buy arms for terrorists, you could be lucky. Of course it helps if it’s also interesting to our discerning readers.

Of interest to me is the Southampton Golf Club’s Captain’s charity drive. We are going to be covering Nick Dhanda’s 12 months and hopefully helping him raise lots of money and awerness for the Children’s Echo Room at Southampton General Hospital, which cares for children with heart problems. So to start with ... his first report. Yep a bit random, but we’re that kind of paper!

Nuffield announces upcoming Spring/Summer season Following his successful directorial debut at Nuffield, Southampton, of The Glass Menagerie, Nuffield’s Director Sam Hodges, announces the upcoming spring/summer 2016 season. The new season will feature two new Nuffield co-productions, The Massive Tragedy of Madame Bovary! and Noises Off, alongside six visiting productions by nationally and internationally renowned companies.

Sam Hodges, Nuffield Director said: “Our new season kicks off with a daring new collaboration between the acclaimed comedy troupe Peepolykus and one of literature’s most tragic women, MADAME BOVARY, an unlikely marriage which we’re very happy to be celebrating with our old friends Liverpool Everyman and Playhouse and Royal & Derngate Northampton, and new ones in Bristol Old Vic. Our second major spring production sees Nuffield Associate Blanche McIntyre return to Southampton with her new production of one of the funniest plays ever written, Michael Frayn’s NOISES OFF, on which we’re teaming up with Northern Stage and Nottingham Playhouse.”

The season begins with the Massive Tragedy of Madame Bovary!, a collaboration between Nuffield, Peepolykus, Liverpool Everyman & Playhouse, Bristol Old Vic and Royal & Derngate, Northampton. Gustave Flaubert’s seminal 19th century novel has been lovingly derailed by John Nicholson and Javier Marzan of Peepolykus and will be directed by Liverpool Everyman & Playhouse’s Artistic Director Gemma Bodinetz. A bijoux cast of just five - with a fair amount of doubling – will create an absurd take on the traditional tale.

In June, Nuffield, alongside Nottingham Playhouse and Northern Stage, will mount our production ofNoises Off, the multi-award-winning comedy by Michael Frayn. This riotous comedy serves up an irresistible glimpse into the onstage and backstage antics of a touring company as they hurtle towards a disastrous first night. It will be directed by Nuffield’s Associate Director Blanche McIntyre (The Oresteia, HOME; As You Like It, Shakespeare’s Globe; Tonight at 8:30, Nuffield).

In April, Nuffield will welcome Filter’s explosive take on William Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night followed

by Get Carter, Northern Stage’s dark and stylish new adaptation of the classic Newcastle-noir thriller. In May, Nuffield hosts the farewell tour of the award winning West End hit The 39 Steps. Alfred Hitchcock’s spy thriller is brilliantly and hilariously recreated for the stage, with four actors playing 139 roles in 100 minutes of fast-paced fun and thrilling action.

The Flying Lovers of Vitebsk will bring the spring/summer season to a close in July. This Kneehigh and Bristol Old Vic co-production, written

by Daniel Jamieson, traces a young couple as they navigate Pogroms, the Russian Revolution, and each other. This production marks the Emma Rice’s final direction for Kneehigh.

Tickets for the new season will be on sale from Thursday 12 November. For more information visit www.nuffieldtheatre.co.uk or call 023 8067 1771

2016 Captain Nick Dhanda’s Charity Christmas Lunch report your contributions but for the entertainment during the bid! This subsequently led the way for a flurry of tremendous cash donations and even a telephone bid from Tony Mariner!!

Sunday 6th December, saw the launch of my Captaincy. The event was held at Milan Italian Restaurant, Southampton, where over 70 guests joined together for a Charity Christmas Luncheon, raising funds for the refurbishment of the Children’s Echo Room, Ocean ward on E1 level at Southampton General Hospital.

The guests were welcomed with a drinks reception in neighbouring club Tokyo before making their way into the restaurant. There was a fantastic ambience thanks to our musician for the day, playing of the accordion.

With all the chatting and laughter filling the room it felt like we were actually in Italy!

After speeches, the guests took part in a raffle, in which some of the prizes included restaurant vouchers for Milan, Tiger Lily and Ranchos. A Special thanks to Aj Dhanda, who generously put his first prize in for redraw and his second (1.5 litre bottle of Jack Daniels Bourbon) up for auction. Bill Webb stepped in playing auctioneer fetching £110.00 from the generous Mick Kooner, and then went on to match his bid on behalf of Bowlers taking the bidding takings to a whopping £220.00!! Thank you both for not only

I am pleased to report that the total funds raised were a fantastic £1,228.74! This included a £355.00 donation from Milan, where £5 was donated per person on ticket price. Auction of £220.00, Raffle £630.00 and £23.74 on fines…No jeans next time gentleman!!

A huge thank you to each and every person who attended and supported the event, it was fantastic to see the members and their families joining forces, socialising together.

After such a great success, I am looking forward to the next event, a Race Night on 6th February 2016 at Bowlers. Come along and join us for what promises to be another fantastic occasion- you may even win a race or two!!

Last but not least, I would like to thank my wife Ann-Marie and Kate McRae for organising this event with me.

To learn more or donate directly to E1 Ocean Ward visit Families of Ocean Ward visit here

www.oceanward.co.uk

february / march 2016

THE MUSIC BIZ according to

A BIKE COLUMN. NOT YOUR REGULAR BIKE COLUMN THOUGH. IT’S NOT A REGULAR PAPER. IT’S A COLUMN BY MY OLD MATE, 2 WHEELS GURU TONY LONG. AS HARLEY-DAVIDSON OFTEN PUT IT ... “NO EXCUSES, NO FRILLS, JUST GOOD OLD SELF INDULGENCE”. ED

Barry Upton

(AND DAUBUS ROTIS? ... THATS CULTURE IN’ IT!)

Barry Upton

NOSTALGIA ... a thing of the future

I constantly hear about families who’s kids are listening to music from these eras and who are, sometimes secretly, enjoying the music more than their current afforded output.

Why is this? My belief is because there was heart and soul in that ‘ancient’ music. It being untouched by computers, drum machines and other technology masking or, alternatively, ‘souping up’ the talent on offer. Plus, the younger generation are finally experiencing the joy of holding a vinyl album, with wonderful cover artwork and a realism in the music instead of listening to something from the ether.

Of course Martin and myself are now old farts who are constantly extra nostalgic about the old days, but it seems as though we are being joined by a much larger group of music lovers. This love of music from times gone by is now affecting the music business sales picture. So ambitious start up bands are hereby advised to stop practicing… and for all up-and-coming songwriters to start looking for a proper job right now.

Conversely, those artists and songwriters still lucky enough to be getting royalties from decades old releases will be celebrating an upturn in their recent payments.

As recently reported by Chart Attack, so-called “catalogue albums,” or albums older than 18 months, are now outselling new releases for the first time in the history of the recording industry, in terms of physical sales, at least. In digital sales of whole albums, new releases are still just ahead but in terms of digital sales of individual tracks, the nostalgic stuff leads the way, a trend that not even the massive success of Adele can reverse.

Just a decade ago, new releases were outselling old ones. So what happened? Who or what is to blame for new music becoming an undesirable commodity?

One culprit could be the socalled vinyl revival, which has heavily favoured catalogue titles like Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon, a 43-year-old album that nevertheless sold a lot of copies in 2015. The trend now is for younger music listeners who are into collecting vinyl, opting for older albums. And then there’s the possibility that people are more likely to stream new albums than purchase them. Regardless of the cause, it looks like nostalgia has a stranglehold on the music industry.

In 2015, records from Pink Floyd, The Beatles, and Miles Davis made up three of the five best-selling vinyl albums, while catalogue albums topped the new releases, despite Adele selling millions of units of ‘25’.

The young generation are discovering the physical ‘Long Playing Record’.

In the first half of 2015 alone, vinyl sales increased by 52%. If they're building a physical collection, it stands to reason that people would want to buy a copy of their favourite album on vinyl and not necessarily the newest release.

Whether or not digital sales of catalogue albums will end up surpassing current releases is still yet to be seen, but based on the current increase in catalogue sales it's definitely a possibility.

Catalogue music is also dominating music streaming as well, with new releases only making up 30 percent of the audio and video streaming volume. New albums still have a slight lead when it comes to digital sales, and if the numbers hold steady throughout

Tony Long

SOUNDED SO RIGHT

Our resident pop guru Barry is a multi international hit songwriter/ producer/performer. Initially a front singer with Brotherhood Of Man he’s worked with a multitude of household names including being creator of the lovable pop outfit STEPS, penning their massive hit 5678 and his mate and editor of this ‘ere paper previously co-hosting the AND Magazine Show on Radio Hampshire. He’s currently a TV & radio presenter and producer in Thailand and of course he’s still performing!

When myself and your esteemed editor had a weekly radio show AND MAGAZINE on Radio Hampshire a few years ago, we once decided to have a face off on whether the best music came from the sixties (my choice) or the seventies (his). I narrowly won (He cheated. Ed) but the real winner was our listener with great music being enjoyed from both decades. ?

duabus rotis

2016, it can maintain that lead.

However, it's clear the immediate future of music consumption may be led by catalogue releases as more and more people embrace streaming as a viable music source and vinyl sales continue to grow.?

The upshot of all this is … that new music is not interesting enough, even to young listeners who should have an affiliation with it.

So has everything in popular music been done already and new artists just regurgitating what has gone before but with different words and the notes in a different order?

Despite us old farts loving to hear the old stuff, I hope I’m not alone in wanting to hear something new that blows my socks off and makes me really want to give it a second and third listen. It would also be nice to witness a genuinely new ‘original’ artist of the likes of our dear departed hero David Bowie who, along with the Beatles and suchlike, pushed the barriers of the music art form into interesting areas. The biggest problem I see is that there are no record labels willing to nurture and develop new talent for a couple of years (as EMI did with Kate Bush) because no matter how much cash is thrown their way, sales have depleted to the point that a decent return on their investment is hard to come by and so much too much of a gamble.

Adele has tapped into the ‘misery’ emotion of buyers and there are some new acts professing to be a new Dylan. Are One Direction really the new Beatles? (Ah… and you’d been so serious so far Bazza.

Ed) Unfortunately they don’t rock my boat in the ‘hey, I can’t wait to run down to the record store to hold their new record in my dirty little mits’ stakes. (Thanys because they’re going in one direction!

Cough… Ed) So ‘pop pickers’, let’s enjoy the wealth of good music out there pre-computer and download age and live in hope that there are bands and singers still to come who can possibly bypass technology and write, produce or perform something genuinely new with heart and originality.

Not gonna happen. Is it?

(Oh sorry about the pics Bazza.

Couldn’t resist the Nostalgia. Ed)

THE OLD Grey Whistle Test was the BBCs programme for grown up ‘modern’ music.

One night in 1977 I rode home from the pub to find my parents still out at friends. What an opportunity, watch TOGWT with the volume up and without the withering looks.

Music videos back then were mostly film of performances although too many were accompanied by cartoons, film of painted clouds, ink drops in water or kaleidoscopic images in ‘funky’ colours ... such simple times.

That night Meatloaf’s ‘Bat Out Of Hell’ was premiered to footage of the band cut in with an honestto-goodness chopped Harley, then a rare thing on TV. The Eagle’s ‘Hotel California’ and Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’ finished the (for me) memorable line up, there must have been other bands but whatever they were has been blotted out by that trio.

Even though I loved all that music I’ve heard Mr Loaf’s Bat song at so many pubs, bike shows and rallies that I don’t get the prickles on the back of my neck anymore. Blue Oyster Cult’s (arguably, only) greatest hit hasn’t been played anywhere that much, mostly as backing on TV shows and the odd movie, yet it had more in common with The Eagles than Meatloaf, the harmonies were gentle and melodic rather than rock.

All the above had long hair, some had facial growth, and looked like people I associated with so the music was okay, in a tribal sense. David Bowie, by contrast didn’t share much with people I mixed with, but his music was and is legend ... Bowie fans will detest me, but ‘Laughing Gnome’ is great.

At a hectic, very big, stag party the DJ played a newly released single, ‘Ace of Spades’; it was so well received Motorhead belted out that song another ten or twelve times over the night. Next day I woke with a disgusting taste in my mouth, that song firmly planted in my head and a hazy recollection of chaining my bike up somewhere in Eastleigh before getting a ride home on the back of a mate's Triumph.

As with ‘Bat out of Hell’ ‘Ace’ has been boomed out over the years at so many venues, even an unplugged version on an advert; I don’t know any other Motorhead track, but ‘Ace’ is a favourite for me. The bike song played at more events than any other has to be ‘Born to be Wild’ yet, in 1980, Steppenwolf played at The Poole

Arts Centre to less than a packed house if I recall ... but then, can you name another of their songs.

Before mp3 players and in-bike entertainment I played tracks from on my ‘memory player’ over many long rides; Springsteen, Bob Seger, Maria Callas, Bizet’s operas (varied tastes me) and those above along with so much more were literally the soundtrack of my youth.

Frey, Bowie and Lemmy are no longer with us, but they’ll live as long as their music is played and youtube gives us access their best years – The Eagles rendition of ‘Desperado’ is wonderful, check out Linda Ronstadt’s version for a more soulful performance and (possibly) hear Glenn Frey who was in her band before The Eagles were formed.

Mustn’t overlook Dan Haggerty who also left the planet this January. Who? He played Grizzly Adams on TV and film where, along with his gigantic bear Gentle Ben, saved the weak and downtrodden. He was also involved with that icon of iconic biker films, ‘Easy Rider’ which featured ‘Born to be Wild’ just after we see the choppers for the first time ....

Fonda takes off his watch, looks at it and throws it to the ground before riding off on his chopped Harley-Davidson Panhead.

I’ve read various versions of what happened to Fonda’s two ‘Captain America’ choppers from the film, in deference to Haggerty I’ll just say Mr H had possession of one or two versions of the only original bike from the film which sold for $1.35 million in 2014. Look online for different thoughts on all that business.

‘Easyrider’ was a game changer for cinema and biking by showing the world what custom bikes could look like as well as featuring superb music – on youtube you'll find a very young Stevie Nicks version of ‘Born to be Wild’, perhaps even look at Slade’s rendition – Slade! They were a skinhead band when they started.

Well we all change.

Fonda and co-star Hopper didn’t speak after falling out over money; even when Hopper was dying he said he didn’t want to see Fonda.

The Eagles fell out and harboured seriously bad feelings for many years before reforming; at least Frey got to talk with old friends again.

Don’t lose friends over something than can be talked out – it’ll be too late one day.

Thanks for everything Gents, and let’s also remember Alan Rickman who was born to be Severus Snape, perhaps a little wild as well.

BTW. I still prefer Dennis Hopper’s ‘low’ chopper to the over the top Captain America bike.

empowering the and guide

page 11

Travel Guide with Lucy McNeil of Travel Counsellors TANZANIA

THAILAND

BHUTAN

it’s adventure time!

MACHU PICCHU

KILIMANJARO

A very famous honey-loving little bear once said ”As soon as I saw you I knew an adventure was going to happen”. Can you guess what this edition’s travel journal is about…?

There is no doubt that its boom time in the soft adventure sector of the Travel Industry. So what is it about adventure travel that is getting people really excited?

Well I think it’s the many good tour operators like Exodus Travel who can offer our mutual

ALGARVE TOPS THE POLLS

clients a holiday of a lifetime. Whether it’s a leisurely food tasting odyssey from Hanoi to Saigon in Vietnam, a more strenuous Inca Trail trek to the fabled lost city of macho Picchu in Peru, or close encounters with Rwanda’s Silverback Gorillas in the Parc National de Volcans in Rwanda, more and more travellers understand that an active holiday does not mean you need to be 30 years old and wanting to bungee jump off the nearest available bridge. The options are endless and with guides who have a real passion for the tours they lead and knowledge like you wouldn’t believe, the adventurous types are finding that their thirst for the great outdoors can really be quenched!

So where’s hot for 2016? Let’s start with Cuba, since the US lifted their sanctions for travel and trade with the Island it has proved popular with Europeans who want to experience the culture before it starts to change. A typical cycling holiday consists of 12 days spent meandering through colonial towns, riding though the swamps and experiencing the simple but delicious food the Cubans prepare in one of the many Paladares, a restaurant set up in natives own homes. A bike lets you travel at your own pace, has minimal environmental impact and best of all, helps you finish your trip with a massive sense of achieve-

If you’re looking to get value for money whilst on holiday this year you might just be in luck. According to the Post

Office Holiday Money Report 2016 tourists are making the most of the strong pound and local price cuts in many top resorts. Topping the poll for cheapest resorts is the Algarve in Portugal with Sunny Beach in Bulgaria second and Cape Town in South Africa third. The most expensive resorts were not surprisingly Jumeirah in Dubai and English Harbour in Antigua.

ment, and perhaps a little more fitness than when you started. Tours start from £2069pp including flights.

From Cuba we move to Peru and the very well-known Inca trail. Starting in Cuzco you can spend 10 days leisurely following the steps of the Incas up to Machu Picchu where you can visit the ruins very early in the morning before the crowds arrive. Hearty meals are included in your tour to keep you fuelled for the long but rewarding days. Tours start from £2249pp including flights.

If you’re after something a bit more relaxed a gentle walking holiday to the Amalfi Coast has been a best-selling tour for the past two years – perhaps it’s something to do with the fantastic local hospitality, copious amounts of great food and Amalfi wine that appeals..!

Now you may be sat here reading this thinking that it all sounds awesome but what about the kids – well families are heavily catered for too! Most operators appreciate that children are portable and they are the epitome of adventure so have lots of tours/itineraries that welcome children. A majority of the tours won’t take children younger than five for obvious reasons and some of the more physically challenging tours will stipulate minimum ages of 8, 12 or 13 but there will be something out there for your mini adventurer that will keep

BLATANT WEDDING SHOW PLUG (WELL WE ARE A WHAT’S ON GUIDE) you’re getting married in the near future and you’re interested in meeting suppliers to make your wedding perfect why don’t you visit the Three Choirs Vineyard Wedding Showcase on Sunday 27th

them entertained. Examples of this are the holidays including white water rafting and kayaking in Slovenia, zip-lining and mountain biking in Costa Rica and wildlife watching in Tanzania. Many of these tours depart in school holidays so no need to worry about school fines either (or sunbed saving round a crowded European hotel swimming pool!) Prices vary depending on where you go but you’d look to spend around £4k for a family of four for European destinations and up to £12k for long haul destinations.

If the idea of other people joining you doesn’t appeal there are always options of private guided tours on most itineraries. You can get a group of friends together, entertain clients or simply have a special trip just you and your loved one, anything’s possible. If you’re a solo traveller too, adventure holidays are a great idea as you will often find very like-minded people who wish to experience culture and gain knowledge about places and you can share this with new friends.

So if an adventure holiday sounds like something you would enjoy please contact me, I can work with the tour operators such as Exodus to find the perfect trip for you.

Call me today on 01489 858270 or e-mail me on lucy.mcneil@travelcounsellors.com

March between 11am-3pm.

Based at Shedfield on the road between Botley and Wickham the venue is ideal for an intimate wedding and

I will be there talking to brides and grooms about their perfect honeymoons.

OCTOBER / NOVEMBER 2015

The er... travelling

by Alan (Skip) Buchanan

MILBURYS CC UPCOMING EVENTS: February 5th:

This Is Soul: Rufus Stone & DJ Paul Mico

February 13th: Valentines Bandeoke w/ Daisy & The Wedding Toasters February 14th: Piersi + Kabaret Lowcy.B (Polish Valentines Event) February 28th: Solent TV 48 Hour Film Challenge April 1st:

Funk My Soul: DJ Paul Mico & The Funk Soul Brothers

April 10th:

JW Jones

April 14th:

Moose Blood

April 16th:

Big Country + Simon Townshend

April 28th:

Finnish Folk Metal Mafia: Koripiklaani + Moonsorrow

April 30th:

Uptown Top Rankin’ (Top Rank Reunion)

May 1st:

InnerCity Boxing Match

May 6th:

Fairport Convention

May 21st:

Terry Hall (The Specials) DJ Set + Live acts TBA

June 12th:

Travelling Folk Festival: Pentangle & Magna Carta

June 17th:

The Police Force (Sting & Police tribute)

Hello AND readers! I’ve been asked by your esteemed editor Martin to write a little piece about my cricket team, the Milburys Cricket Club, to fill you in on our goings on and provide a window into the world of the pub cricketer. Don’t worry if you aren’t really a fan, it isn’t really about the cricket.

To give you some background, the Milburys Cricket Club are a pub cricket team, based just outside Winchester, who play friendly matches against like-minded opponents throughout the summer. We are a friendly bunch, not the most talented and certainly not the fittest, but enthusiastic about cricket and about getting together on a Sunday for a game, a few laughs and a few beers afterwards. As pub cricket teams go, while we love the cricket, we are very much focused on the pub side of things.

Don’t get me wrong, we like to win, but we don’t mind losing if we’ve had a good time, and the opposition have got on with our particular brand of “hilarious” banter.

Mostly it’s about doing our best, and convincing ourselves that we are keeping fit, although any “sport” that features cakes and sausage rolls at half time, and frequently features an umpire holding a can of lager in one hand and a ciggie in the other, can hardly count itself as exercise!

In our team excellence is rewarded by the post-game Man of the Match award, and incompetence is rewarded by the Dick of the Day award, plus £1 fines for every duck, dropped catch, or bad bit of fielding. At the end of season awards, despite being keen to congratulate the top batters and bowlers, the vote for the infamous Dick of the Season award is the highlight of the evening.

We have been going for ten years now, and first formed when a group of friends, inspired by the Ashes winning England side of 2005, decided to form their own team.

What they lacked in talent, organisational skills, and any form of kit, they made up for in raw enthusiasm. It is hard to believe that

ten years later, and despite 90% of the team still not knowing most of the rules, we are going stronger than ever. This year we celebrated our ten year anniversary by going on tour to Shoreham-By-Sea, our first ever tour, and it was a brilliant trip, resulting in two wins out of two.

We have a great group of players, and I hope you’ll enjoy hearing about their successes, because in our own right we have done so many things to be proud of. We have five players in the team named Jim for a start, quite brilliantly organised as Jim 1, Jim 2, Jim 3, Jim 4 and Jim 5. We did have a sixth at one point but, perhaps overawed by the competition for his own name, he soon made his excuses. Over the coming months I hope to tell you all about the antics of the rest of our team: Val Doonican, Tricky, Tommy Walsh, Mr Happy, Niles, and Superman Pants to name but a few.

When we first started we played our matches at rented council grounds around Winchester and Southampton, often sharing with football teams, dog walkers and local kids who delighted in taking the mickey out of the 22 idiots prancing around in white pyjamas. Now we have our own ground, nestled amongst woodland in the South Downs and a mile away from the pub; it is a beautiful place to play our cricket. The pub from which we take our name is a classic old English inn, bedecked with tankards, trinkets, a roaring fire from September through to June, and a grumpy yet lovable landlord. He runs his pub in as traditional a manner as possible (beware the punter who dares to ask for anything off-menu, or god forbid a Pimms) but it is a wonderful place to visit if you are ever in the area.

So what does a pub cricket team do throughout the winter? As captain, the offseason is spent arranging fixtures for the following summer with other team captains (“Same weekend as last year? Okay”) and hoping that we start the new season with roughly the same number of people as we finished the previous one with. As for the team itself, under the pretext of honing our skills we meet weekly at the Ageas Bowl, home of Hampshire Cricket Club, for an indoor net session, followed by an isotonic debrief at the Southampton Arms, just around the corner. “The Arms” is our winter residence and is great place for a few beers or some food, and we are very well looked after by the wonderful team there.

Does all the practice pay off come the start of the season? Are we at the peak of our physical and mental prowess come the first match in April? Not exactly, but it’s a good excuse to meet up every week and ensure that the team are well bonded, which after all is what it is really all about.

I look forward to sharing our adventures with you.

empowering the and guide

page 13

LOCALLY CONNECTED REVIEWS Paul Ridge

Sponsored by: Silentrooms Records

OLD STORIES ON NEW SHELVES

Roger had played with Elton John, Rod Stewart, Paul McCartney, Kiki Dee and ... well, everyone really.

This new project takes the shape of a band called Verity in Paris (though that may change) and features the eponymous Verity Valentine on lead vocals. The whole thing was the brainchild of Roger himself and since his sad passing, the baton has been grasped by Aron Fisk of Silentroom Records. The two of them were colleagues at Silentroom with Roger holding court as an elder statesman and advisory figure - a bit like Gandalf to Aron's Frodo, if you will ...

The campaign itself is so new that they're still working on a website and their social media presence, but for now you can check them out on Facebook by searching for the title of the album "Old Stories On New Shelves".

The team are determined to complete the recording as a tribute to Roger and have now set up a fan-fund in order to do so. All the backers of the project will receive continuous updates and the occasional goodie or two along the way to the target and loads of industry professionals are lending a hand and getting involved.

The aim is to raise £70k to enable them to enlist Jeff's help and travel to LA and Silentroom are - in their words - "tapping up" anyone and everyone to help them achieve their goal. Roger's own fan-base as well as Elton John's, Kiki Dee's and The Troggs (Alan, the guitarist, is already involved) are among some of the groups who've already been enlisted, while Aron himself is lining up a radio tour to generate more interest. The studio they've earmarked for the job is run by Joshua Seth Eagan, another industry luminary who's worked with Pink and produces lots of movie and TV soundtracks.

Also involved is Martyn Ford, a powerhouse composer and arranger who directed the orchestral segments of Led Zep's Kashmir, as well as working with Yes, Kate Bush, Mike Oldfield .. again, the list goes on.

As for the sound of the record itself ? Well, it's a retro blend of Motown, jazz, pop and orchestral pieces which will be recorded in the old-style, authentic way with a band actually playing together, live in the studio. There's a jam already up on the Facebook page and although it's only a second rehearsal - Verity herself is reading the lyrics from a song-sheet - you can hear the musicianship already evident, so it makes for a good, early taster of what's to come.

Aron's wired about this project and we all think it's gonna be pretty exciting too, so we'll be featuring regular updates over time to keep you all in the loop.

Good luck, Aron and co. Can't wait to hear the finished product!.

ARON

OF SILENT ROOMS WITH THE LATE GREAT ROGER POPE

PIC GREG ROWE PHOTOGRAPHY

Regular readers of The And Guide will remember me reviewing an album called Giving Shelter by Jeff Millar-Sax about eighteen months ago. It was a collaborative project in memory of the legendary Southampton drummer, Roger Pope.

LIVE ROUND-UP

Roy Ayers THE BROOK Jazz-funk pioneer and all-round nice guy Mr Roy Ayers came to Southampton just before Christmas and boy was it a festive night !

At 75 years young, the legendary vibraphone-player and soul vocalist showed he still had the chops - both on the vibes and at the mic - to show us young whippersnappers a thing or two. I say young .. I'm nearly 50 and have been DJing his records for more than half my life, so to actually see the man live in the flesh a few miles from home was quite the treat.

For years an annual residency at Ronnie Scott's Soho jazz club meant Ayers has always had a loyal following in the UK and some of his tunes have crossed over from the jazz scene into northern soul and disco arenas, such is the appeal of his sound.

Tonight's show was stripped down to the basics with the man himself up close and personal at front centre, a vocalist to support him and just the bare minimum of bass, drums and a superb keyboard player who ran the show and kept things tight, noodling away like a young Stevie Wonder.

As the inspiration behind the whole Acid Jazz movement and a collaborator on Guru's Jazzmatazz projects as well as working more with Masters At Work, Will Downing, Mary J Blige, A Tribe Called Quest among others, Roy Ayers has never been less than busy and if you've still got it, why retire ?

Emerging from the back of the stage, the man stood tall in a black pinstripe velvet suit, red t-shirt, matching red velvet topped sticks to play his intrument and the signature crumpled black beret-style hat.

Then he started playing! He didn't miss a beat all night.

The hands moved across the bars of the vibraphone as elegantly as ever and for a moment I felt like I'd been transported back 40 years to the heady days of the great man's early 70s heyday.

He played all the classics including Running Away, I Wanna Touch You Baby, Searching, Evolution , Everybody Loves The Sunshine and We Live In Brooklyn Baby, even changing the lyrics of the latter to "I shop at Tesco's, baby!" to show he's lost none of his trademark humour.

The Brook is a wonderfully intimate venue on nights like this and the fact that a lot of the performers hang around after the show to say hello and sign things really takes the whole experience to another level. The queue of well-wishers was extremely long and the man himself hung around for a good half-an-hour to speak with his fans.

You just don't get that anywhere else and that's what makes The Brook such a precious jewel in Southampton's musical crown.

With able support from the Soul 45 DJs, this was a cracking night and there was a great crowd, so if you've not been down there for a while take a look at their listings in the back of The And Guide now and get gigging, people !

The Smyths THE ENGINE ROOMS We reviewed this Smiths' tribute band when they played The Joiners last year and as usual they were excellent in celebrating the thirtieth anniversary of the release of the band's third album, The Queen Is Dead.

Playing at this, their third Southampton venue (they'd also previously played At The Brook), they produced a barnstorming night of indie twangery featuring most of the album and all the hits.

It was the first time I'd visited The Engine Rooms - located opposite Ikea - and I was impressed by its elegant simplicity.

It's an industrial unit that's been converted into a live music hall, with a big stage at one end, ample standing room, a long bar and good facilities. It's a doddle to get to - you can park at LeisureWorld or just walk down from town - and the staff were really friendly and the drinks prices reasonable too. I know there was a big turnout for John Lydon's PIL last year and by all accounts it was a monumental performance, so with Talking Heads moving to a new location and the 1865 also doing well, suddenly the musical future of the city is looking very bright !

George Works The Magic Garden, Battersea I know this isn't strictly within The And Guide's remit, but think of it as an away fixture and just celebrate the lengths we go to in order to bring you new music ! (As long as you’re not after expenses!. Ed) ... besides, I'm hoping one of the local venues will take the plunge and book this fantastic live band. Visit georgeworks.co.uk for more information, but in the meantime take it from me this is one of those artists you just just want to shout and about and share with everyone.

A tight foursome of guitars/vocals, drums, bass and trumpet, George Works play an infectious mix of reggae, jazz, dub and what they call “dirty folk”. There's a smidge of ska and hip-hop in there too, but it's altogether the most original dance sound I've heard in years.

I saw them almost by accident on a night out in Battersea in a cracking pub-cum-live venue and everyone was moving, shuffling, nodding, and all out dancing !

Even though I wasn't familiar with any of the songs – they're all originals – the music was timelessly upbeat and happy.

Please will someone book them so we can see them on the south coast ?

You will thank me for it, I promise you !

NOTICE If you think your band might be worth covering, head on over to our Facebook page: www.facebook.com/theandguide and say “hello” and give us the details of your next gig, album, website, etc and we'll see what we can do.

Russell Cook

BOOKS red & rit Ever since I was a child I have been searching for my inner Scooby. You see I like ghosts but only the ones that are covered in white sheets. The odd zombie or creepy guy is fine, as long as it is clear that it’s the old kindly school caretaker dressed up for effect to scare away the pesky kids from discovering some obviously hidden treasure.

Imagine my delight when recently browsing the shelves of a well known high street bookshop looking for a fun tale to light up the rainy winter nights I came across several titles in The Ghost Hunter Mysteries, a ten book series of paranormal mystery novels by Victoria Laurie who in her biog describes herself as a real life psychic. Okay.

Realising that there was a mystery to be solved, I grabbed a couple of the books and home I went armed with a plentiful supply of snacks, the inner Scooby variety.

What a fun few days I had exploring the kooky, spooky world of Mary Jane Holliday (M.J for short) who is a spiritual medium and along with her business partner Gilley Gillespie runs a ghost hunting business. They, along with members of an ever expanding team throughout the books become involved in spooky hair-raising adventures in America, where the series is primarily based, and Scotland, Wales and Ireland.

All the tales are well paced; page turning and at times chilling adventures but, when the stories are set outside America, some of the colourful colloquial language given to the Scottish, Irish and Welsh characters would make Dick Van Dyke’s take on the

English accent look like the Queen’s English ten times over. The series begins with What’s A Ghoul to Do? and ends nine books later with the newly published A Ghoul’s Guide to Love and Murder all published by Penguin Random House. Scooby Doo for Adults, I’ve discovered my own Mystery Machine and the ghosts are real too!

An ideal location for a ghost story would surely be The Orkney Isles. When Amy Liptrot returns to the island of her birth after more than a decade away, the ghosts that she confronts are real, raw and embedded in the author’s life, past and present. The Outrun (Canongate £14.99) is Amy’s memoir of a life well lived despite being just thirty at the time of her return to the Scottish Isle. There to recover from chronic alcohol addiction. Standing on a cliff, looking out to sea, Amy takes the world as she sees it in her hands and composes a memoir of exquisite beauty as she confronts her demons. In her twenties, she lived on the edge of madness during her

time in London when alcohol disguising itself as a fun party lifestyle, took over, took hold and took the author prisoner.

The demons chased her as she escaped the big smoke; but thanks to the silence and tranquillity of her childhood home The Outrun, were stopped in their pursuit of Amy’s self destruction. The prose flows like a calm river, secure in itself and understanding the route it needs to take, aware of its past, present and ultimate future. Home is where the heart is and Amy’s ghosts are still here but as the story unfolds; understood.

Ruby Wax has battled her own demons of the mind over the years and is now using her own experience of mental illness to find a way though the mind fog that cripples so many people. In Frazzled (Penguin Life £14.99) Ruby, with her usual zest and humour, brings Mindfulness further into the public consciousness and confronts head on how our minds have been taken over with minutiae and stuff all buzzing around want-

ing attention, the random thoughts, leading to us all over thinking most of the time. We are trying to do too much and in the end achieve very little. Result, Frazzled, burnt out and as Ruby points out, a few hundred years ago no one died of stress. Today is a different matter, as illusions are made to us having an imprint of an “Apple” where our hearts used to be. (Other fruits have also been patented and are available). The book is part memoir but mostly given over to what Mindlefulness can achieve with a little practice which Ruby conveys with insight, accessibility, humour and overall an easy way to get the stress levels and mind buzzing under control. Along with this, when writing the book, the author suffered another bout of depression.

She devotes a chapter to her blip and it is one of the best pieces of writing about the illness I have read.

Isy Suttie’s story as described in The Actual One (Weidenfeld and Nicolson £14.99) is not a new one , the many lows and highs of being

Business partners sought for

‘the Apprentice Ship Cup’

writes Wing Nin CHAN Secretary of Apprentice Ship Cup

Southampton is a great maritime city. For over a thousand years, ships would come from around the world under sail. Global trade now uses large container ships, but there are still sailing ships operating in the UK. The mission for most of these is to take young adults out to sea to give then a character building experience. And this

opportunity is available to all, regardless of wealth, race, religion or gender.

In June 2016, a small fleet will be leaving Liverpool and it will be taking young adults on three, one week adventures. The route includes crew changes at Bristol and Falmouth. The final port is Southampton. The event is called the Apprenticeship Cup. Jim Graves, Chairman of the Merseyside Adventure Sailing Trust, conceived the idea for 2014 to take apprentices from large firms in the

Mersey area out to sea for a week at the time. Not just for the fun of it, but it has been well established that working as crew on a sailing ship improves ones teamwork, leadership and social skills. That is why the large firms support the event and send their young staff.

Research using Outcome Factorisation shows that sail training is much more effective than other outdoor activities.

In 2015, China Sail Training Association (China STA) helped send 20 Chinese students, mainly from Liverpool University, to join the fleet as the largest team. After all, many young adults are learning their trade or profession like apprentices, be they electricians, doctors or accountants.

There are many businesses in Southampton. We already have interest from Solent University. We are looking for suitable business partners from the area to provide a life changing experience for their young employees. We are also helping to raise sponsorship for ANY young adult (over 18) from the area to join the Apprenticeship Cup to sail from Falmouth into Southampton.

The English language is full of maritime idioms. On a sail training voyage, the trainees learn the ropes, they have to pull together because they are all in the same boat.

With limited places available, if you would like to explore opportunities for your apprentices or want sponsorship information you are advised to contact them now.

China Sail Training Association, 15-16 Hampshire Terrace, Portsmouth, P01 2QF Telephone: (0)7783 480611 www.chinasta.org Email: wing@chinasta.org Apprenticeship Cup info: www.mastapprenticeshipcup.co.uk

single when all your friends are getting mortgages, getting married, getting pregnant and most annoying of all, getting sensible. However in her first book, Isy uses all her experience from being a comedian and musician and the touring that this often involves, to produce a narrative that is extremely engaging and warm. There are the usual mishaps, dating disasters, break ups and toe curlingly embarrassing moments that we have all been though. It is all part of growing up and moving towards security and interest rates but the spirit of friendship and parental support shines like a beacon, though not always obvious to spot.

Would you want your Mum to set you up an online dating profile? This book is a love letter to youth and saying goodbye to a chapter that must inevitably close however hard we try to hold on. Isy is the ideal companion and says farewell with style.

Russell’s Blog Brave New World is at www. therewriteman.wordpress.com

Film Review

empowering the and guide

page 15

Paul Ridge Celluloid muses by our resident flick producer Chris Barfoot

What did it take, to make? IT DOESN’T TAKE MUCH. The agony and the ecstasy

THE HATEFUL EIGHT Quentin Tarantino's eighth film sees him return to the western, this time in a snowy Wyoming roadhouse.

Starring Samuel Jackson, Tim Roth, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Kurt Russell.

I'm not a big Tarantino fan, let's get that out of the way from the start.

I never rated Pulp Fiction and I only thought Reservoir Dogs was okay.

Style over substance, I always thought ... until I saw Inglourious Basterds then it kinda clicked. Django was good too, so I was pleased to hear his latest creation would be set in a similar period at least ...

There's been a bit of a hoo-haa about its release following a legal wrangle over which week it would make its debut in the States.

Apparently, some independent thing called Star Something Or Other had usurped the agreed weekend opening in December.

Then, a whole handful of big movie screeners - they're the DVD copies that are sent out for review - were pirated and released on the internet, which meant a lot of people will see it ahead of time anyway.

Now, in the UK at least, one of the cinema chains has failed to reach an agreement with the distributor meaning it'll have a relatively limited release over here anyway.

All in all, things are not looking good for Eight, which really is a shame because this is without question Tarantino's most beautiful and intriguing movie to date.

The cinematography is breathtaking : never before has a snowy landscape looked so stunning.

The plot is riveting : it's a whodunnit writ large with multiple "its" as well as "whos".

The acting is flawless : this bunch must be getting used to each other by now.

The script is razor-sharp : Tim Roth alone gets a whole bunch of great one-liners, especially when switching from toff to cockney ... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

The stylization of the movie is as QT as ever : quirky fonts and old-fashioned black cards to introduce each act as in an old Charlie Chaplin flick - " Chapter One - Last Stage to Red Rock " - clash wonderfully with the glorious 70mm photography.

For a Tarantino film, there's a relatively sparse use of music, but what there is is very carefully considered indeed. Ennio Morricone wrote a lot of the score, lending it a sense of gravitas straight from the opening credits - which themselves are a work of art, by the way ...

The story revolves around two bounty hunters - Russell and Jackson - who end up travelling across Wyoming just as a blizzard breaks. One is in a nice, cosy stagecoach : the other is about to die in the frozen wasteland if he doesn't find shelter. Push comes to shove and after some verbal sparring they eventually make an uneasy truce and agree to travel together to the nearest stop - a "haberdashery" - before pushing on for the town

of Red Rock when the weather eases up.

They both have substantial bounty with them - in Russell's case, a real live(wire) woman in the form of Ms Leigh, worth some $10,000 to his character, The Hangman, while Jackson's Major Warren's take the shape of three dead bodies lashed to the top of the carriage, worth eight thousand between them.

The pact they make, as mutually respectful men in the same profession, revolves around them protecting each other and their respective assets till Red Rock .. which could be three or four days away, depending on the storm.

When they eventually reach Minnie's Haberdashery - a kind of olde worlde truckstop - they find there's been a few changes to the place, which immediately raises their suspicions. The people inhabiting the place don't help matters, either .. and the tensions of the Civil War, the wild west itself and of weary travellers alighting in unfamiliar circumstances all set the alarm bells ringing ... for every one of the eight.

The snowstorm soon sets in ramping up the tension, and pretty soon we realise we're about to witness what would make an excellent dramatic play, given that everything that happens after the initial set-up takes place in one room and with only a handful of characters ...

And that, I'm afraid, is all I am willing to say about the plot.

Anything else would be giving it away ...

The story is highly original and very cleverly executed and firmly in the milieu of the murder mystery, despite the glaring lack of a murder to kick things off. At least not initially, anyway.

There are various clues to be picked up and some subtle nuances and changes of backstory and contradictory statements to test whether you - or the characters - were paying attention all the way through. Some of the protagonists will see you switch sides halfway through - you go from disliking to liking and from hating to rooting for them - and everything rattles along nicely, despite a lengthy three-hours run-time. You really don't notice it takes that long, the plot is so well-paced.

There's some real stereotypes in here, too a Mexican, some ex-slaves, a defeated general, a posh Englishman, a rough cowboy ... all of them thrown into Minnie's melting pot she does make a good stew, you know ?

Oh, and I'd definitely recommend a hot drink for this movie. Possibly even a flask, if you can sneak one in. You'll thank me for it, believe me. It just looks so bloody cold all the time ...

I can't wait to talk to someone else who's actually seen The Hateful Eight, such was the impression it made on me, but unfortunately there's not that many of us yet ...

In essence, it's a film out of time and all the better for it.

It's traditional, it's formulaic, yet it's also very creative and beautiful despite the harsh landscape and even harsher characters. It's contradictory, like so much of Tarantino's work. But like I said earlier, it's his best movie yet and it deserves a wider audience.

WHO? I’ve known Robert Clother for more than twenty years. We’ve worked together extensively during this period and I’ve always been amazed by his knowledge, attention to detail and wordsmith skills and yet Robert couldn’t read or write until he was twelve years old! He was bullied mercilessly of course and then, one day- epiphany.

The award winning writer/producer and director went on to earn a Degree in geology at Aberystwyth and an M.A in film production at Bournemouth University. Robert survived the torture of bullying and somehow turned it all around.

WHY? Rob had found himself in life and approaching fifty years of age was happy and doing well when a terrible setback occurredRobert fell victim to a senseless drunken attack by a trusted friend and employee. He was battered relentlessly, his face was smashed resulting in major surgery and taking him to within an inch of losing his life! Robert’s survival is tribute to his resilience and fitness.

WHAT AND WHERE? Robert recuperated much of the time with his sister’s family on the Greek island of Zakynthos. It was here while assisting Barbara with her drama group that they decided to produce a film together that would highlight the horrors of bullying and help Robert to reconcile with the victimisation. Another of Robert’s colleagues Keven Harper (sound designer and filmmaker) flew to the little island to help with the production.

WHEN? “I started working with drama groups on Zakynthos about 5 years ago” he began, “when I was asked to make some dramatic video inserts for a production of Thornton Wilder's 'The Skin of Our Teeth by a youth theatre group called Fiera. It was an excellent challenge and a very successful production which went on to performance in Athens.”

HOW? “I was approached for this project (IT DOESN’T TAKE MUCH) in early 2014, when the Zakynthos Youth Theatre Group (a company of slightly older young people, some of whom were in 'The Skin of Our Teeth') decided that- rather than put on a stage play… they wanted to make a short film. I, of course,

jumped at the opportunity.”

“The ideas, the form of storytelling and some fascinating original visual metaphors all came from the young people in a series of pretty intense workshops – Bullying as a general subject had affected each and every person in the group.”

“Quite a lot of people have asked why we segue from the magical realism drama of the lead characters (Dan) confrontation in the classroom to a documentary sequence. For me, it was a case of heightening the impact of real reasons why the young people had chosen this topic.

Similarly we were all agreed that, whilst in life there are few true happy endings we wanted to make a film with an unambiguously happy conclusion. A simple message of hope – a positive impact!”

“We were very lucky to be able to recruit some industry professional to help make the film.

Kevin Harper (sound recordist and all-round creative genius) came over to Zakynthos for the shoot and for post-productionPeter Dobson brought his editing expertise to the end product.

Pete Bradley composed the music, which he developed over the course of the edit, which became a really pleasant process – with score being driven by the picture and vice-versa – brilliant!

We even recruited Chris Barfoot to do some voice-over work, which he brought to life wonderfully. The main driving force behind the film was Barbara, guiding the workshops, organising the shoot and synthesising all the ideas into a moving script.

She is a human dynamo!”

The film is brilliant, evocative, thought provoking and yet gentle in its delivery… it will hit the festival circuit shortly, before any broadcast deal is ventured into.

Despite being in an adrenalin fuelled competitive egocentric Robert Clother in the classroom

business, Robert is remarkably focussed and indeed contemplative, philosophical and rather humble. He’s a filmmaker, a craftsman, a dedicated auteur.

His beautiful and astute sister Barbara produced ‘IT DOESN’T TAKE MUCH’, it’s her first film, and it’s obvious that she should produce many more, she did an amazing job. They are a tour DE force, a family to be reckoned with. Robert was asked about any ideas that he and Barbara had for the future? He smiled knowingly…

“Well, since my injury, I've found long range planning difficult. Though as I enter the final stages of recovery I'm able to apply myself more effectively to the development of projects. One of which is a feature film script which I am working on with Chris and Peter Dobson. It's a historical tale set against the backdrop of the twilight of the dark ages. We've identified a period that doesn't have a great deal of story-telling exploring it. Set in Yorkshire it has been, thus far, a pleasure to research and write.

Alongside that, Babs and I are still working the Zakynthos Youth Theatre Group and hope to make another short film project this year. And lastly Chris and I just completed a corporate communication piece for a2dominion which we have made under our new business banner 'Hothead Creative'. All in all it seems that the painful events of suffering an attack have been a felix culpa, with tremendous positivity coming from a negative event.”

I wish him well and look forward to our future collaborations.

SEE THE TRAILER AND FIND OUT MORE AT WWW.BABSANDROB.COM

february / march 2016

NEW FEATURE

Yaz faces the questions

What type of pub was it and how have you changed it, if at all?

What is your background?

It was a predominantly male orientated pub and self managing. It was not a friendly welcoming environment. We changed this taking out the cheaper beers which helped to change the clientele. It is not uncommon to walk into the pub and find it dominated by groups of ladies, and couples.

Born and bred in Southampton.

The first pub I managed was The Sobar in Bevois Valley some 10 years ago. I then moved all over the country, troubleshooting in pubs, clubs and hotels from The Isle of Man to Nottinghamshire, back to Southampton, took on a Tenancy 3 years ago on a little country pub in Old Bursledon, The Vine, it was Darren’s first experience of pub life but the pub just wasn’t right for us.

Why did you take the pub and when?

Tuesday - Pool Night, Wednesdaydarts night, Thursday free juke box from 7pm, either on Friday or Saturday we have bands playing.

Sunday we have the meat draw at 2pm and chase the joker at 3.45pm Any special events?

Every day is special but on February 7th we are involved in the World Record attempt Pub Quiz What type of beer do you serve and do being run by PubAid. All proceeds you serve food? will go to local Charity Alfie’s Wish We serve 4 lagers including Amstel, for which we have already raised Kronenbourg, San Miguel and over £5,000.

Fosters, we have one cask ale on What are your ambitions for the pub? but hope to build on that, plus

We needed a new challenge, so when we had an opportunity to take on the The Windsor Castle in May 2014, we took it.

Meet the Landlords #1: Yaz Rodriguez and Darren Hobbs of The Windsor Castle

What goes on in a typical week?

Guinness, Strongbow and John Smiths Smooth. We also serve very nice wines unavailable on the high street but don’t cost the earth. But Is it a freehold or managed? we do not compromise on quality.

It’s a tenanted pub through Admiral We don’t do food.

Taverns. The pub is run with family members and Tricia, (our honorary family member & ex landlady of the Windsor). We love what we do and it shows!

To see the entertainment continuing to the provide the people of Shirley a premier entertainment venue - my only wish is the walls would move outwards to give us extra room!

What state was pub in when you took over?

It was not in good shape and in desperate need of a refurb and a strong hand, it got both!

What have you done to it?

95 Shirley High Street, Southampton SO16 4EX Tel: 023 8070 1120 www.facebook.com/thewindsorcastlepublichouse

Its been completely refurbed inside and out in November 2014 and we took a hard line with a lot of the old clientele. We have also added a lot more entertainment.

SHIRLEY’S PREMIER ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE

an old fashioned pub

A Warm welcome awaits you!

LIVE @ The Windsor Castle february & MARCH Feb 6th Sunday 7th Feb

savage brickwork - music the way it's supposed to be played! world record attempt pub quiz 7pm

March 5th March 12th Saturday 19th Saturday 26th Easter Monday 28th April 1sT

Mod Town - ska tunes from 9pm Toast with Beau work shy Silverimage band - hits from the 60s,70s 80's Stevie John Band RU40- £5 a ticket

weekly: Tuesday - Pool Night, wednesday - darts night, thursday - free juke box from 7pm, sunday - meat draw at 2pm & chase the joker at 3.45pm

Opening hours: monday- thursday 10am-10pm friday & saturday 10am -12 midnight, sunday 10.30-10pm,

95 Shirley High Street, Southampton SO16 4EX

Tel: 02380 512994

page 17

a Wedding Celebration, Engagement Party, Birthday Party, Christmas Party, Corporate Event, Masonic Event, Summer or Winter Ball, a Dinner Party, or at your home... Colin will entertain and amaze you and your guests leaving you... astounded. call him now! the magic circle’s grand wizard, we’re delighted to have him contribute some thought provoking fun each issue.

When Martin asked me about putting some magic into The AND Guide I wasn’t quite sure if he was serious. Seems a bit like playing darts on the Radio, then of course I remembered that had actually been done and very successfully.

So I thought why not?

Below you’ll find a few teasers to test yourself and your friends with. I’ve even showed you a trick that, without actually giving any secrets away, I think you’ll find more often than not is just magic. The answers are below. But you’ll need a mirror to read them. Enjoy!

1. You are in a cabin and it is pitch black. You have one match on you. Which do you light first, the newspaper, the lamp, the candle or the fire?

2. There is a room with no doors, no widows, nothing and a man is hung from the ceiling and a puddle of water is on the floor. How did he die?

3. A man walks into a restaurant and the the waiter says good day Admiral. Why did the waiter call the the man an Admiral?

4. There are three houses, one is red one is blue and one is white. If the red house is to the left of the house in the middle and the blue house is to the right to the house in the middle, where is the white house?

5. Each day a lady gets the lift from the 12th floor to the ground level so she can go to work. When she comes home however she only goes up the lift to level 8. Why is this, and it is not to keep fit !

6. The maker doesn't need it, the owner doesn't want it, the user doesn't know he's using it what is it?

7. Two women and two doctors walk into an ice cream parlour. They each order an ice cream cone. When their ice creams come, there is only 1 strawberry,1 chocolate and 1 vanilla. How come they didn't complain?

8. Which word, if pronounced right, is wrong, but if pronounced wrong is right?

9. If an electric train is going 150 miles per hour north and the wind is blowing the same south, which way does the smoke blow?

10. There was an old man who lived by himself. He felt tired so he went into the bathroom, went to the toilet and then turned the light off before going to bed. The next morning there was a news flash on the radio that a boat crashed. The man opened the window and jumped out. Why?

COLIN IS A MEMBER OF BOTH THE MAGIC CIRCLE & EQUITY

book him now 07760 900900 www.colinphillipsmagic.com EX-President of The Associated Wizards of the South. the 6th oldest magical society in thE world

7 and above you’re seriously clever. Less than 2 you should eat more vedge ... much more!

Terminus Terrace, southampton

PIC: What animal do you see here?

“ Congratulations Martin, Happy 2nd Anniversary! i’m Proud to be part of this very special publication. here’s to another great year for you and all that take part in this fantastic paper! ”

ANSWERS

Genting Club

went to bed causing the boat to crash. PIC: A Dalmation was a lighthouse keeper and he turned off the light before he Wrong. 9. It’s an Electric train so there is no smoke. 10. Because he 8th floor button. 6. A coffin. 7. One of the women was a Doctor. 8.

Washington DC. 5. The Lady is a midget and can only reach the and it melted. 3. Because he was wearing his uniform. 4. In 1. You light the match first. 2. He was standing on a block of ice

For arguably one of the best nights out in Southampton, visit Genting Club.

Being a casino it has all the expected casino games including American Roulette, Blackjack, Three Card Poker, Electronic Roulette and of course Slot Machines on offer. Perhaps unexpected though is that the club also includes a fabulous restaurant Fahrenheit and provides live music and cabaret weekly. Most surprising of all though will be the prices with 3 course meal deal just £11.95 Sunday to Thursday with a FREE BET! That’s great value in any language.

Worried about not knowing how to play the games or how to place a bet? The friendly staff will be only too happy to help.

Genting Club are a valued and contributive part of Southampton Ambassadors, an invitation only network I created to include only members that I would personally recommend. And I take my reputation seriously.

With a a variety of special events throughout the year, Genting Club is definitely somewhere to put on your great night’s out radar.

LUCKY 13 REASONS TO CHECKOUT GENTING CLUB • •

Restaurant opening hours Sunday – Friday 6pm -2am, Saturday 6pm -3am Our Meal deal is available Sunday – Thursday and is a 3 Course Meal (really nice!) plus 2 x bets to win £5 on live

Roulette or Blackjack (so you could win back £10!!) for just £11.95!!!!

•

Breakfast served 12am - 2am Sun - Fri and 12am -3am Saturday’s (Yep, really!)

•

Bar open 12pm - 5.30am

•

20 Slot machines with Jackpots up to £20,000

•

11 Electronic Roulette and Baccarat machines (Minimum bet from 10p)

•

4 American Roulette Tables,3 Blackjack tables including 1 that has a progressive jackpot currently at £238,428 !! if your first 4 cards are all aces of the same suit (at time of writing).

•

Entertainment from 10.30pm every Saturday including tribute acts once a month.

•

Event nights at least 6 times a year such as our Golden anniversary and Halloween (pics attached).

•

Regular promotions such as “Easter Spin To Win” where every day over Easter weekend customers can spin a Big Wheel and win the prize they land on.

•

Tailor made packages to suit budget and needs including Dealer Dealt Private Poker games (see Aran Marketing Advocate).

•

Customers who sign up for FREE membership automatically receive a bet to win £5 on Roulette or Blackjack and £5 in Slots plays.

•

Southampton Ambassador Genting Club, Terminus House, TerminusTerrace, Southampton SO14 3FE Tel:02380221021 www.gentingcasinos.co.uk/ club/terminus-terrace

River Studios: Southampton’s Star-studded, Professional Recording Studio

River Studios situated in Totton, Southampton opened in 2010 as a purpose built multi-dimensional recording studio built from scratch, and it has already made some fairy big waves in the UK music scene.

If you’re in the music business locally you’ll almost certainly have heard of River Studios. If you haven’t, why not? With a track record of developing local talent such as brit award winning ‘Birdy’ (pic), recording national artists like ‘Corinne Bailey Rae’ and used by world renowned producers including ‘Mark Hill’ of ‘Artful Dodger’ it should certainly be on your rader.

With three professionally equipped recording studios, River Studios is one of the largest recording studios in the UK. The studio’s facilities are designed specifically to accommodate both vocal clients and bands, with 2 main live rooms, 2 amp cupboards as well as a spacious control room and 3 rehearsal rooms tied to the main studio, which enables a full orchestra to be recorded live if required!

Successful artists who have recorded at River Studios include; Yazz, Alesha Dixon, soul legend Omar, Corinne Bailey Rae, Becky Hill, Grant Nelson and Eliza Doolittle to name just a few.

Southampton Home Grown Talent at River Studios The most notable new artist success derived from River Studios has come through Birdy. Birdy recorded her first album and the single “Shelter” at River Studios, which was sent to Warner Music Group who signed a record deal with her at the age of 12! Birdy, now aged 19 has already been a Brit Award, a Grammy Award nomination, 2.5 million sales and has her third album on the way.

A regular producer to River Studios is Artful Dodger’s Mark Hill.

Mark has seen his album with Craig David 'Born To Do It' re-enter the album chart this year which to date has sold over 8 million record sales.

Mark Hill, winner of four Ivor Novello awards is currently producing his own eagerly awaited album at River Studios.

New Manager Welcomes New Bands and Artists to come take a visit at River Studios River Studios have recently

appointed new manager Miché Pears who explains, “We love working with new bands and artists, we view it as our job to realise their best potential. Whether you’re looking to record an EP or album or just have some band practise, we have all the facilities you need. For any musicians who haven’t visited our studio before, the door is always open from 10am each day, so feel free come down and check out our facilities.”

River Studios caters for a wide range of clients, both in genre and stage of development and currently prides itself with helping aspiring songwriters and bands develop their music and not at crazy London prices.

If you’re interested in booking a recording studio session or band rehearsal rooms our friendly and helpful reception staff will be able to assist you.

Call now on 02380 658373 or Email: reception@riverstudios.co.uk.

Visit www.riverstudios.co.uk

empowering the and guide

page 19

ED BYRNE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN

The Maple Leaf,

new home of The Talking Heads

The building has stood on Portswood Road since the late 1800’s and has an embedded heritage of music; The Red Lion was renowned in Victorian times for music and entertainment and hosted regular sessions up until its closure in 1991.

Sat 19th Southampton, O2 Guildhall One of the UK’s leading comedians continues his sell-out nationwide tour in 2016! You know - that bloke.

The Irish guy. No, not the bald one - the other one. You know him. The one Carol from work really likes.

Wait, that might be Jason Byrne.

Anyway… funny chap…has a new show!

In Outside Looking In, Ed reflects on everything from life as a father and husband to feminism and transgenderism. As an observational stand up, Ed Byrne is unrivalled.

Wherever he performs, be it the Edinburgh Festival, on the International Circuit or a UK tour it is always to capacity audiences. He is consistently at the top of his game and produces time and time again not only fabulously funny shows but shows which critically are highly acclaimed!

Ed’s television credits are far reaching. Notable appearances include Mock The Week, Have I Got News For You, The Graham Norton Show, The One Show, Live At The Apollo (all BBC) and Comic Relief

Bake Off 2015, which saw Ed hosting one of the studio programmes as well as presenting the supporting Appeals VT, filmed in Uganda.

A future combining a TV career and his passion for the outdoors is in sights as he has now broken into Factual presenting. He continues to be a serious outdoors enthusiast e.g. he recently climbed Mt Blanc (Europe’s highest mountain) for the second time! The past two years have seen appearances on Dangerous Roads (BBC Two), Volcano Live (BBC Two) and he has co-presented a 3 X 1 hr series, Dara & Ed’s Big Adventure, which aired on BBC Two in the spring 2015. Ed writes a regular column for The Great Outdoor Magazine and will be fitting is as much Munro Bagging as he possible can whilst on tour!

“Jokes come so fast that hecklers don’t have a chance to get a word in edgeways” THE TIMES . www.o2guildhallsouthampton.co.uk 023 8063 2601S

Re-opening in 1992 as The Talking Heads, the legacy of live-music and entertainment has continued to this day (excusing a small hiccup in 2012 for a brief refurbishment – and a fire). In recent years, established touring bands including The Script, Mumford & Sons, New York Dolls, Wheatus and The Damned have all graced the stage, whilst the pub has also been entered into the CAMRA Good Beer Guide for four years in a row.

So, midway through 2015, it came as a shock to us to find that our tenancy would be coming to an end in early 2016.

320 Portswood Road may be lost, but calling quits to The Talking Heads was never really an option.

With a plan in mind, and events already booked for 2016, we enquired about the availability of the premises formerly known as The Maple Leaf; a social club based on Polygon Road – and a popular music venue in the 1980’s and early 1990’s.

The paperwork was signed in December 2015 and the renovation started a day later.

Why this premises, you may ask?

The Talking Heads will now be situated within a 6 minute walk from Southampton Central Train Station – which is also where a variety of local bus routes travel through – meaning excellent public transport links. There are two large car parks

nearby: West Park and Grosvenor Square Car Park.

The space that the new premises has to offer has also been an attractive proposition; a large front lounge, and a separate venue space that will enable us to keep the same venue capacity. We also have a large outdoor terrace, a professional kitchen and a squash court (seriously!).

So what does The Talking Heads have in store for 2016?

The South’s most eclectic live music venue will be celebrate its official opening in The Polygon on February 4th, with local acts Three Times Over, Submariner, Lost & Stolen, Jamie Norton and Thrones.

On Friday 5th, we welcome local rock’n’rollers Our Propaganda, and on Saturday 6th, 10-piece Columbian salsa band Atlantico add some spice to our listings with specialist dance teacher Nicolas Inchelin.

Keep an eye-out for Nik Turner [founding member of Hawkwind], Graham Bonnet [ex-frontman of Rainbow], Sundara Karma [psychedelic-indie-rockers], The Vibrators [celebrating 40 years of punk rocking], Chantel McGregor [former British Blues Awards guitarist of the year], Soft Machine [legendary progrockers] and Oh! GunQuit [rockabilly] all featuring over February and March.

Also joining us is the prestigious Candle Club Open Mic every Monday night (Southampton’s longest running weekly, celebrating 20 years this year with long serving sound engineer and founder Clive Roberts!), showcasing comedy, poetry, plug and play music, and hoolahooping, with previous regulars including Emma and Justin from Band of Skulls. The Southampton Ukulele Jam rehearsal takes place every other Monday evening (107 played at the last one!), and the Traditional Irish Folk Session every Sunday afternoon.

The Talking Heads is celebrating the end of an era…while a brand new, exciting era gets underway. We hope to see you soon.

6-22 The Polygon, Southampton, SO15 2BN www.thenotescafe.co.uk

Newton Faulkner Portsmouth Pyramids, Thursday 21 ApriL With the recent announcement of a 2016 UK Tour and fifth studio album Human Love, Newton Faulkner enters a new chapter in his musical career with a performance at Portsmouth Pyramids on Thursday 21 April 2016.

Shedding his trademark dreadlocks and bringing an evolution in sound, Newton will be performing a catalogue of hits from his Top 10 selling

albums including Dream Catch me (2007), Write It On Your Skin (2012) and the critically acclaimed version of Massive Attacks track, Teardrop (2007). Fans will also be able to enjoy new material from the album Human Love. Mixed by Cenzo Townsend (The Maccabees, Jungle and George Ezra) Human Love sets the standard of what’s to come with this well renowned artist.

088 576 3000 www.pyramids-live.co.uk

New Forest

Jazz Workshop It was founded fifteen years ago, by Derek Ayling, because, when he arrived in the area, there was nothing going on for amateur jazz musicians, who typically played their instruments up in their bedroom, or in their lounge, completely missing the most enjoyable, rewarding and necessary experience of playing with other musicians. He started by hiring Damerham Village Hall one Winter’s evening, and was inundated with over 50 musicians, from whence evolved at least three jazz bands (“Roar Sextet”: remember them? the “Riverside Dixieland Band”, and “Vanessa’s Villains”) Since then, the NFJW has grown from strength to strength, and is now well established on the local jazz scene. For twelve years, it ran an annual jazz weekend, at Damerham Village Hall, which was always a complete sellout, right from its first year.

Now and again, the NFJW tries to get a small band together and take it to Vimoutiers in Normandy, twinned with Fordingbridge, for the joint festivities of the Vimoutiers Apple Festival every October, and the twinning celebrations of both towns (The NFJW is always seeking local musicians who would are prepared to join it for that weekend, and come along to Vimoutiers) The NFJW, as it is known, is entirely run by volunteers, and is a non-profit-making entity, existing entirely for the benefit of amateur jazz musician of all levels.

For further details, contact Derek Ayling on 01425 650, or by email on Hippotrain@btinternet.com

OP T EN UES MI DA C YI NI S GH T!

Great Food everyday...

Live Music every Night!

Book now for VALENTINE’S, MOTHERS DAY & EASTER. OUTSIDE STAGE open end of MARCH 30 Osborne Road South, Southampton, SO17 2EZ (You can see us from Portswood side of Thomas Lewis Way. AFTER PASSING US; turn left then left at lights from Southampton or right then right at lights from Eastleigh)

WHAT’S ON

Tel: 023 8055 0277

@

THE DOLPHIN MONDAY

Jazz Club - 8.30pm to 11pm Harry Young & The Guys Snug Poker Night - 9.30 pm to 12pm TUESDAY

OPEN MIC NIGHT

7.30pm to 11.30pm

thedolphinpubstdenys.co.uk

Host & supporting players WEDNESDAY Quiz Night - 7.30pm to 11.30pm See Stephen or Inez for more details THURSDAY NIGHT to SATURDAY NIGHT Live Music - 9pm to 11pm See website or Facebook for details SUNDAYS Breakfast served from 11am to 1pm Sunday menu served from 1pm to 9pm Live music on the Beer Garden stage from 3pm

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Experience a taste of Munich culture right here is Southampton at our German bierkeller.

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Whether you're looking for dinner or a drink out with friends, Stein Garten is the place for you!

Open Noon till late, 7 days a week Look out for our tasty specials and lunchtime offers!

STEIN GARTEN BEER KELLER UND RESTAURANT 46-47 HIGH STREET, SOUTHAMPTON SO14 2NS

The AND Guide to: Finding a GREAT BREAKFAST! Apparrently our most talked about feature! Which makes me wonder if I should sack everybody? This started as a moan. Me whinging about not knowing more than a couple of decent places to get a decent breakfast... at breakfast time!

In time I hope to include everywhere locally that serves a decent breakfast. But if you’re not here my apologies, its down to one of 7 things. Everywhere on this list is open before 9am, it’s a beer, you didn’t tell me, I don’t know about you, I don’t think its any good, I forgot, or you won’t give me a free breakfast (research) Ed :) SOUTHAMPTON

CAFE VALLETTA, MILLBROOK ROAD

GENTING CLUB (12AM - 2AM) Terminus Terrace, Southampton SO14 3FE 023 8058 1872 KATE'S CAFE LOUNGE 227 Portswood Road, Southampton SO15 2NF 023 8058 1872

pageand 21 july june

To make sure you’re in the next one email me at:

theandguide@mail.com THE NAVIGATOR 286 Bridge Road, Lower Swanwick SO31 7EB 01489 572123 BONNE-BOUCHE High Street, Hamble-le-Rice SO31 4HA 023 8045 5771 THE FLYING BOAT CAFE Ensign Way, Hamble SO31 4RF

BOULANGERIE VICTOR HUGO 50 High Street, Southampton, SO142NS Open every day from 6.00 am Facebook : Boulangerie Victor Hugo Southampton

THE BUS STOP CAFE Hound Farm Hound Road, Netley Abbey SO31 5FS TESCO Hamble Lane, Bursledon, Southampton SO31 8GN

OZZY CAFE Harley Davidson, Heritage House, Second Avenue Southampton SO15 0LP

STEPHY'S CAFE Unit 8, Shedfield Nursery & Equestrian, Botley Road, Shedfield SO32 2HN

RIVERSIDE CAFE 13 Manor Farm Rd, Southampton SO18 1NN 023 8067 7569

LILLY'S TEA & COFFEE HOUSE The Square, Wickham, Fareham PO17 5JQ 01329 830305

THE SPITFIRE 130-132 Above Bar Street, Southampton SO14 7DU Tel: 02380 225 464 JACKPOT CAFE Portswood Road, Southampton SO17 2TD 023 8032 2079

WESTLANDS FARM SHOP Westlands Farm, Pricketts Hill, Shedfield SO32 2JW 01329 833832

BEAN COFFEE BAR 21 Commercial Road, Southampton SO15 1GF 44 23 8178 4219

BAKERY Whiteley Shopping, Whiteley, Fareham PO15 7PD 01489 564 445

IKEA West Quay Road, Southampton SO15 1GY

FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD 164a Southampton Road, Fareham, PO14 4PP 01489 589056

METTRICKS High Street, Southampton SO14 2AA 02380 710583 SIDEWALK SOUTH 24 High Street, Southampton SO14 2DF 02380222323 BOULANGERIE VICTOR HUGO 50 High Street, Southampton SO142NS 02380 632744 HIGH STREET CAFE 153 High Street, Southampton SO14 2BT 023 8023 6767 CAFFEXPRESSO Nelson Gate, Frobisher House, Southampton SO15 1GX 023 8023 8181 THE ADMIRAL SIR LUCIUS CURTIS Canutes Pavilion, City Centre, Southampton SO14 3JS 023 8038 8940 CAFFE MOMENTO Unit 2 Guildhall Square, Southampton SO14 7FP 023 8023 3717 THE SQUARE ARTISAN CAFÉ 157-187 Above Bar Street, Southampton SO14 7NN 023 8031 9007 WHITE STAR TAVERN, Oxford Street Southampton SO14 3DJ0 023 8082 1990 CAFE VALETTA 421 Millbrook Rd W’st, Southampton SO15 0HX (Opposite Goals) www.cafevalettasouthampton.com RETRO CAFE 34 bedford Plave SO15 2DG0782 890 8382

CAFE CREME 31 Bedford Place, Southampton SO15 2DG 023 8023 6616

THE DINER 6 Market Buildings, Stoneham Lane, Swaythling Southampton SO16 2NL

THAT LITTLE TEA SHOP 48a The Hundred, Romsey SO51 8BX 01794 519852

HALLADAYS TEA ROOMS 6 Bedford Place, Southampton SO15 2DB 023 8078 6921

CENTRAL COFFEE Central Hall, St Mary Street, Southampton SO14 1NF EASTLEIGH & NORTH

THE CROMWELL ARMS PUB & HOTEL Mainstone, Romsey SO51 8HG 01794 519515

DJ’S DINER 5 High St, Eastleigh SO50 5LB 023 8061 4217

NICOLA'S TEA SHOP 8 Latimer Street, Romsey SO51 8DG 01794 523009

CHANDLERS FORD GOLF ACADEMY, Chestnut Avenue, Eastleigh, SO5O 9PF 023 8061 4111

WEST

FOOD FOR THOUGHT 455 Fairoak Road, Fair Oak, Eastleigh SO50 7AJ 023 8069 2400

THE PILGRIM INN Hythe Road, Southampton SO40 4WU 023 8086 7752

THE COFFEE CORNER Boyatt Shopping Centre, Eastleigh SO50 4QP 023 8061 4654

THE HIDEAWAY Merriemeade Parade, Dibden Purlieu

THE RETRO DINER 281 Shirley Road, Southampton SO15 3HT 023 8078 6921 CAFE REFLECTIONS 25 Shirley High Street, Southampton SO15 3NL 023 8077 8878 GEORGE'S CAFE & RESTAURANT 9 Church Street, Shirley, Southampton SO15 5LG SAINSBURYS SHIRLEY 1 Redcar Street, Southampton SO15 5LL SAINSBURY'S PORTSWOOD 224 Portswood Road, Southampton SO17 2LB THE YELLOW WELLY Shamrock Quay, SO14 5QL 023 8022 3535 THE COFFEE ROOM Raymond Road, Southampton NELLY’S TEAPOT 1 Bridge Way, Woolston SO19 7GP CHEVY’S CAFE 26A Hazel Road, Woolston SO19 7GA ANNIES CAFE 14 Portsmouth Road, Woolston SO19 9AA 023 8042 1200 PIGGYS 26 Victoria Road, Woolston SO19 9DX 023 8178 2059

NICE NOSH 50 Rumbridge Street, Totton SO40 9DS 023 8087 0242

CAFE PARISIAN 64 High St, Lyndhurst SO43 7BJ 023 8028 4546

THE WAGON WORKS 28 Southampton Road, Eastleigh SO50 9F 023 8062 2670

BURGER/KEBAB VANS ETC Want your van in The AND Guide?

Email me. Why is there only one in the list? He’s the only one that’s asked me.

And because they’re great kebabs, enthusiastically and carefully prepared ... yum!

OZZY KEBAB 2 Mansbridge Road, Southampton SO18 3HW 07481 763 300

EAST COFFEE HOUSE High street, Bishops Waltham SO32 1AA 01489 896990

ASDA Bournemouth Road, Eastleigh SO53 3YJ CONCORDE CLUB, Stoneham Lane, Eastleigh SO50 9HQ 023 8061 3989

THE BOAT HOUSE CAFE Swanwick Marina, Swanwick SO31 1ZL 01489 885745

ROMSEY

THE VILLAGE BAKERY & TEA ROOM 48 Warsash Road | Warsash, Warsash SO31 9JA 01489 574747

CAFE FRESH 9 Market Place Romsey SO51 8NB 01794 522602

PITSTOP... NEWS & FOOD MASSIVE CHOICE OF SANDWICHES, ROLLS & BAGUETTES MADE FRESH ON THE PREMISES DAILY

• DELIVERY OR COLLECTION • PULLOVER SPACE FOR LARGE VEHICLES BELVIDERE ROAD, SOUTHAMPTON, SO14 5RB TEL: 023 8063 2514

•

“WE STOCK THE AND GUIDE ON ALL OUR VANS!”

Well done to The AND Guide on 2 great years promoting our city!

FAMILY OWNED & MANAGED SINCE 1974

MOT TESTING • SERVICING • REPAIRS LATEST DIAGNOSTIC EQUIPMENT TYRES • EXHAUSTS • WHEEL BALANCING LASER WHEEL ALIGNMENT

ALL MAKES OF CAR! VW • AUDI • SEAT • SKODA SPECIALISTS Free local collection and delivery

PALING BUSINESS PARK, FOORD RD, HEDGE END, SOUTHAMPTON SO30 0DB

www.sundayshillmotcentre.com Email: shmotcentre@aol.com

VALENTINE’S NIGHT AT THE NAVIGATOR For Valentine's Day, a 4 course dinner for 2 with a glass of fizz each, a box of chocolates and a red rose for the lady for £99. With the option of adding a room including breakfast to the package for £165 total.

For bookings and reservations contact the team on 01489 572123 or info@thenavigatorswanwick.co.uk ◆ www.thenavigatorswanwick.co.uk THE NAVIGATOR, 286 BRIDGE ROAD, LOWER SWANWICK, SOUTHAMPTON, HAMPSHIRE, SO31 7EB

empowering the and guide

page 23

The AND Guide Diary: The most comprehensive listings in the South!

LEGEND MUSIC SPORT

FEBRUARY 2016 MONDAY 1ST

NUFFIELD THEATRE Experiment Night FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT THE POINT, E'LGH Macbeth COMEDY ROYAL VICTORIA C/P And We Were Young SHOWS MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail NIGHTCLUBS BIC, B'MOUTH Jason Derulo JUST CHILDREN ART

ANTIQUES & FAYRES

TUESDAY 2ND

MARKETS & CAR BOOTS NUFFIELD THEATRE Ten Times Table OTHER EVENTS THE POINT, E'LGH Mark Thomas Trespass The Good Dinosaur PLEASE NOTE. We have tried to ensure CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH entries are correct, but If we’ve got the odd Charity Quiz Nigh in Aid of Wessex Cancer one wrong, sorry... The AND Guide cannot THE JOINERS, SOTON accept any responsibility for inaccuracies.

Ben Ottewell of Gomez Some require tickets in advance. We advise telephoning the appropriate venue beforehand MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail on all occasions.

GUILDHALL P'MTH Frankie Boyle THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH Jeeps SAINTS FC Arsenal – A AFC B'MOUTH Crystal Palace – A SIMPLY DISPLAY OUR FRONT COVER in a PROMINENT POSITION P'MOUTH FC Moresambe – A at your venue. Send us a pic to EASTLEIGH FC prove it and dada... you’re in!

Bromley - H

FREE ENTRY in the AND Diary!

As long as you keep the poster up, we’ll include your listing.

How fair is that?

(Don’t forget to send us your listings though - simply pointing us to the website won’t guarantee inclusion. It’s often very time consuming extracting it for our use.)

EMAIL US AT:

theandguide@mail.com The AND GUIDE DIARY is supported by: LEXUS HEDGE END Tel: 01489 664384 www.hedgeend.lexus.co.uk

WEDNESDAY 3RD NUFFIELD THEATRE Ten Times Table MAYFLOWER THEATRE Impossible CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH The Jive Aces THE JOINERS, SOTON Saywecanfly MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS 1,000 yrs of Falconry – Lecture HAYMARKET, B'STOKE Fay Hield & The Hurricane Party THURSDAY 4TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Ten Times Table MAYFLOWER THEATRE Impossible TURNER SIMS Paul Lewis

BERRY THEATRE, H/E Spectre PLAZA THEATRE, RMY Forbidden Nights O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON John Grant + Guests CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH The Wurzels THE JOINERS, SOTON The Sherlocks ORANGE RMS, SOTON House Party – Jay from Tattoo fixers MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE I know All The Secrets in my World Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Dear White People CHICHESTER FEST THRE Single Spies THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment HAYMARKET, B'STOKE The Great Gatsby GUILDHALL P'MTH Hozier PLATFORM TAVERN Jim Hammond Trio FRIDAY 5TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Ten Times Table MAYFLOWER THEATRE Impossible TURNER SIMS Vieux Farka Toure PLAZA THEATRE, RMY Forbidden Nights THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Thinking Drinkers Guide to the Legends of Liquor O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Katherine Ryan CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Omar THE BROOK, SOTON Guns z Roses Tribute THE JOINERS, SOTON Nekrogoblikon / This Feeling: Tibet TALKING HEADS, SOTON Our Propaganda 1865, SOTON Rufus Stone MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail PAVILION, B'MOUTH Joe Brown SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE I know All The Secrets in my World Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE The Brain Show CHICHESTER FEST THRE Single Spies

HAYMARKET, B'STOKE The Great Gatsby GUILDHALL P'MTH BSO PLATFORM TAVERN Jime Payne's Platform Posse HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE Lewis Smith SATURDAY 6TH WINDSOR CASTLE Savage Brickwork NUFFIELD THEATRE Ten Times Table MAYFLOWER THEATRE Impossible BERRY THEATRE, H/E The Swing Commanders CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Sam Smith & Taylor Swift – Tributes RODDINGTON FORGE Mickey Page & Charlie THE JOINERS, SOTON The Bitter Town Hounds TALKING HEADS, SOTON Atlantico FIREHOUSE, SOTON Line up of Origianl Rock/Metal MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Gardeners Breakfast & Tour FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Havant Chamber Orchestra SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE I know All The Secrets in my World Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Live Lunch: Maz O'Connor CHICHESTER FEST THRE Single Spies THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Deanne Sinfonia HAYMARKET, B'STOKE The Great Gatsby KINGS THRE, P'MTH Dance Divas presents: One Night only WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Punk 2 Twerk Hitfaced THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH Kinesis4 P'MOUTH FC Leyton Orient – H AFC TOTTON Shortwood United – A EASTLEIGH FC Lincoln City – A PLATFORM TAVERN John Crampton SUNDAY 7TH WINDSOR CASTLE World Record attempt pub quiz

NUFFIELD THEATRE Downton Abbey Evening THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Mister Maker & The Shapes Live CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH John Maddocks Jazzmen MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail PYRMAIDS, P'MOUTH Mayday Parade SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Circling the Square CHICHESTER FEST THRE Single Spies THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Heather Small GUILDHALL P'MTH Wessex Heartbeat – Dancing with Choirs AFC B'MOUTH Arsenal – H HORSE & JOCKEY C'BGE Blues @ Curbridge Creek

WEDNESDAY 10TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Mapdance CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Back to Basie Orchestra THE JOINERS, SOTON Gavin James ENGINE RMS, SOTON Steve Mason MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Cafe LUA / Tom Stade: You're Welcome CHICHESTER FEST THRE Single Spies THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The Devil Inside KINGS THRE, P'MTH Spamalot WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Kitty Daisy & Lewis

MONDAY 8TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Writers in Conversation MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap CHICHESTER FEST THRE Single Spies THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Orchestra Unwrapped SAINTS FC West Ham - H TUESDAY 9TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Memphis Belles TURNER SIMS European Union Chamber Orchestra THE JOINERS, SOTON The Breakfast Story MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE AfriCarmen CHICHESTER FEST THRE Single Spies THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Rumours of Fleetwood Mac NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Joe Jackson KINGS THRE, P'MTH Spamalot EASTLEIGH FC Kidderminster Harriers - A

THURSDAY 11TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Connectors Cafe MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang TURNER SIMS RGS-IBG Lecture/Tim Jarvis BERRY THEATRE, H/E Hamdram 2016 THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Imperfection-Peta lily CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Heather Small _ The Voice of M People ENGINE RMS, SOTON Julia Holter MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Snowdrop Drama MANGO P'WOOD Pete & Jeradine – Blues PYRAMIDS, P'MOUTH Gabrielle Aplin SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Table / Deathtrap CHICHESTER FEST THRE Single Spies THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Anton & Erin THE FORGE, B'STOKE Philip Henry & Hannah Martin KINGS THRE, P'MTH Spamalot GUILDHALL P'MTH Ian Shaw WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Tesseract ++

ALEXANDER O’NEAL with live band THURSDAY 3 MARCH

Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

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w w w. t h e c o n c o r d e c l u b . c o m

SOUL EXPLOSION WITH JIMMY JAMES & THE VAGABONDS & CLEM CURTIS FRIDAY 4 MARCH

Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Tesseract ++ THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Red Tent PLATFORM TAVERN Hugh Budden & The Blue Cords FRIDAY 12TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang TURNER SIMS Buge Wesseltoft THE POINT, E'LGH Double Bill: Nora CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Billie Davis & Eric Hadock THE BROOK, SOTON RU40 THE JOINERS, SOTON Elixir ENGINE RMS, SOTON Hospitality TALKING HEADS, SOTON Nik Turners Space Gypsy MR KYPS, POOLE Elvis by Garry J Foley FIREHOUSE, SOTON URUZ – Media Weekender MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Snowdrop Drama FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Snap Dance Night SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Table / Deathtrap CHICHESTER FEST THRE Single Spies THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Mnozil Bras NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH An Evening with Beatie Wolfe KINGS THRE, P'MTH Spamalot THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Tiernan Douieb + Comedy in the Galley THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH Ezio PLATFORM TAVERN Blues Issue Debut HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE Skyline / Valentines Menu SATURDAY 13TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang TURNER SIMS Thaala BERRY THEATRE, H/E Hotel Transylvania 2 THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Comedy Gala BREWERY BAR The Little Big Band O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Bowling for Soup ++ CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Elvis & Amy Winehouse – Tribute THE BROOK, SOTON Oasis UK THE JOINERS, SOTON Lucero ENGINE RMS, SOTON King Charles TALKING HEADS, SOTON Black Peaks

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

MR KYPS, POOLE Celebrating Bowies Life 1865, SOTON Valentin Bandeoke FIREHOUSE, SOTON URUZ – Media Weekender ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Monkey Trail ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Survival Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Snowdrop Drama MOTTISFONT ABBEY Half Term Trail FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Hits of Motown SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE The Table / Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Live Lunch: Will Robert Martin Carthy & John Kirkpatrick CHICHESTER FEST THRE Single Spies NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Chinese New Year & Beginnings KINGS THRE, P'MTH Spamalot WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH The Galileo7 + DRUMMOND ARMS, SOTON Jo Long & Pure Drop THE STAR INN, SOTON Toast SAINTS FC Swansea – A AFC B'MOUTH Stoke City – H P'MOUTH FC Bristol Rovers – H AFC TOTTON Cinderford Town – A EASTLEIGH FC Barrow AFC – H PLATFORM TAVERN Cuckooland Debut HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE Valentines Menu SUNDAY 14TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Valentine Michael Buble Tribute CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Jazz Lunch -Gojo Liam White as Michael Buble THE JOINERS, SOTON Sons of Icarus ENGINE RMS, SOTON Bob Mould 1865, SOTON Piersi & Kabaret Lowcy B ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Monkey Trail ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Survival Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Snowdrop Drama MOTTISFONT ABBEY Half Term Trail

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SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap CHICHESTER FEST THRE Pam Ayres THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Adam Hills NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Egg & Spoon GUILDHALL P'MTH Wedding Fayre THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Tea With Oscar Wilde THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH Applewood Road PLATFORM TAVERN Vinyl & Pie with Mr Watson's Silent Movie Night HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE Valentines Menu MONDAY 15TH NUFFIELD THEATRE 451 MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang MANOR FARM C/P Wild about Wildlife ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Monkey Trail ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Survival Trail LEPE C/P Half Term Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Snowdrop Drama MOTTISFONT ABBEY Half Term Trail SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap KINGS THRE, P'MTH Victoryland's Victorious Variety Show GUILDHALL P'MTH Piatti Quartet WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Grindhouse TUESDAY 16TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Witches MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang TURNER SIMS Vienna Piano Trio. Brahms II PLAZA THEATRE, RMY Little Gem THE POINT, E'LGH Footloose MANOR FARM C/P Wild about Wildlife ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Monkey Trail Woodland Activity Day Woodland Activity Stories ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Survival Trail / Family Bushcraft LEPE C/P Half Term Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Snowdrop Drama Pancakes on the Fire – Family bushcraft

MANGO, ABOVE BAR Izzii & Matt MOTTISFONT ABBEY Half Term Trail SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap / Rumpelstiltskin SALISBURY ARTS CTRE An Animated Experience with Matthew Dean Masters of the 17th Century CHICHESTER FEST THRE Dinosaur Zoo THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Tosca KINGS THRE, P'MTH Victoryland's Victorious Variety Show GUILDHALL P'MTH Rumours of Fleetwood Mac WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH The Ghost Inside / Acres EASTLEIGH FC Gateshead - A WEDNESDAY 17TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Witches MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang BERRY THEATRE, H/E The Good Dinosaur THE POINT, E'LGH Footloose THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH GREASE O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Afternoon Tea Dance CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Ben Waters Quartet THE JOINERS, SOTON !!! (CHK CHK CHK) MANOR FARM C/P Wild about Wildlife ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Monkey Trail ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Wooden Monkey Faces ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Survival Trail LEPE C/P Half Term Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Snowdrop Drama Wild Orchids Lecture lunch MOTTISFONT ABBEY Half Term Trail TUDOR HS, SOTON Saxon Jewellery BURSLEDON WINDMILL Mill, Myth & Magic Storytelling SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap Windibops SALISBURY ARTS CTRE An Animated Experience with Matthew Dean Masters of the 17th Century Dr Sketchy's Salisbury CHICHESTER FEST THRE Dinosaur Zoo THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Kodo NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Chinese New Year KINGS THRE, P'MTH Cultures of China Festival of Spring

w w w. t h e c o n c o r d e c l u b . c o m GUILDHALL P'MTH Revolution Pro Wrestling

HORSE & JOCKEY C’BRGE PS_PERRYSTONE HILL THURSDAY 18TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Witches MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang PLAZA THEATRE, RMY Little Gem THE POINT, E'LGH Footloose THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Grease CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH The Dublin Legends THE BROOK, SOTON The Producers THE JOINERS, SOTON Skinny Girl Diet TALKING HEADS, SOTON Graham Bennett Band BOTLEIGH GRANGE, H/E Wedding Open Evening MANOR FARM C/P Wild about Wildlife ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Monkey Trail Woodland Stories ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Survival Trail LEPE C/P Half Term Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Snowdrop Drama MOTTISFONT ABBEY Half Term Trail TUDOR HS, SOTON Time Travellers History club FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Lloyd Warbey Craft Workshop Paul Carroll's Music Hall SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap Handa's Hen SALISBURY ARTS CTRE An Animated Experience with Matthew Dean Masters of the 17th Century Tom Thumb CHICHESTER FEST THRE Dinosaur Zoo THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The Hollywood Special Effects Show NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH The Legend of King Arthur KINGS THRE, P'MTH Roy Orbison & Friends GUILDHALL P'MTH Judie Tzuke THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH Kirk Brandon The Static Memories PLATFORM TAVERN Robbie McIntosh & Andy Grant

FRIDAY 19TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Witches MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang TURNER SIMS Tannahill Weavers BERRY THEATRE, H/E The Three Little Pigs PLAZA THEATRE, RMY Little Gem THE POINT, E'LGH Footloose THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Grease CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH An Evening with Simon Westen THE BROOK, SOTON Bog Rolling Stones THE JOINERS, SOTON Fickle Friends TALKING HEADS, SOTON The Hell MR KYPS, POOLE The Producers and Sloe Gin MANOR FARM C/P Wild about Wildlife ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Monkey Trail ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Survival Trail LEPE C/P Half Term Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Snowdrop Drama MOTTISFONT ABBEY Half Term Trail TUDOR HS, SOTON Swashbuck SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century Play in a day with Kate Smith CHICHESTER FEST THRE Dinosaur Zoo THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The Classic Rock Show THE FORGE, B'STOKE Mawkin KINGS THRE, P'MTH Tosca GUILDHALL P'MTH Runrig THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Three Monkeys THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH James Walsh CENTRAL CLUB, SOTON Toast PLATFORM TAVERN Pete Harris Blues Band HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE Soulcatchers SATURDAY 20TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Witches MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Theatre Tour TURNER SIMS Daniel Herskedal Trio with Strings

LIVE @ THE PLATFORM FEBRUARY THU 4TH FRI 5TH SAT 6TH THU 11TH FRI 12TH SAT 13TH SUN 14TH

9PM 9PM 9PM 9PM 9PM 9PM 7PM

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MARCH

Food, Music

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An evening with BEN HAENOW and his band THURSDAY 31 MARCH Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane BERRY THEATRE, H/E The Three Little Pigs PLAZA THEATRE, RMY Little Gem THE POINT, E'LGH Footloose THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Grease O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Richard Hawley + Meilyr Jones CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH The Bohemians THE BROOK, SOTON John Coghlan's Quo THE JOINERS, SOTON Palms & Pelicans ENGINE RMS, SOTON Therapy? – Infernal Love Tour Craig Charles Funk & Soul Club TALKING HEADS, SOTON Fatherson MR KYPS, POOLE Bryan Adams Experience FIREHOUSE, SOTON New Device, One Last Run ++ ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Monkey Trail ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Survival Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Snowdrop Drama Snowdrops in Sugar Paste MOTTISFONT ABBEY Half Term Trail FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Laughter Live: Comedy Club SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century Salsa Live Lunch: The FB Pocket Orchestra Amy-Tribute to Amy Winehouse CHICHESTER FEST THRE Dinosaur Zoo Stewart Lee THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Michael Portillo KINGS THRE, P'MTH Beyond the Barricade WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Orangestreet ++ THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH FlashFires P'MOUTH FC Yeovil – A AFC TOTTON Bashley – A EASTLEIGH FC Forest Green Rovers – A PLATFORM TAVERN MJ Whipround SUNDAY 21ST NUFFIELD THEATRE Mouth of the South: Rob Beckett MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chitty Chitty Bang Bang TURNER SIMS Wessex Sinfonietta 2016 CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Gambit Jazzmen TALKING HEADS, SOTON The Crookes

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ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Monkey Trail ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Survival Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Snowdrop Drama MOTTISFONT ABBEY Half Term Trail SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Snuff + MONDAY 22ND MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Rocky Horror Show THE POINT, E'LGH Suffragette O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Global Rock Channenge MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail BIC, B'MOUTH Enter Shikari SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century GUILDHALL P'MTH Jamie Raven TUESDAY 23RD NUFFIELD THEATRE A Raisin in the Sun MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Rocky Horror Show O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Global Rock Channenge THE BROOK, SOTON Inglorious THE JOINERS, SOTON Allison Weiss LEPE C/P Lepe Loop & Lunch MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail PYRAMIDS, P'MOUTH Tonight Alive SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE The Best Thing GUILDHALL P'MTH The Classic Rock Show THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Dangerous Ideas PLATFORM TAVERN Open Mic & Blues/Folk Jam WEDNESDAY 24TH NUFFIELD THEATRE A Raisin in the Sun MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Rocky Horror Show THE POINT, E'LGH Verity Standen Mmm Hmmm O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Global Rock Channenge

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CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Neville Dickies Rhythmaker THE BROOK, SOTON Turin Brakes ENGINE RMS, SOTON Baroness TALKING HEADS, SOTON Maz O'Connor MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Charlotte Bronte Lecture Lunch SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap Up Down Man SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The Simon & Garfunkel Story THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE Romesh Renganathan KINGS THRE, P'MTH Blackout THURSDAY 25TH NUFFIELD THEATRE A Raisin in the Sun MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Rocky Horror Show TURNER SIMS Britten Sinfonia Ensemble PLAZA THEATRE, RMY Paul Daniels THE POINT, E'LGH Verity Standen Mmm Hmmm National Theatre Live: As You Like It O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Global Rock Channenge CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Jim Davidson ENGINE RMS, SOTON The Charlatans TALKING HEADS, SOTON Sundara Karma LEPE C/P Easter Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM The Syd Lawrence Orchestra – Swing SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap Up Down Man SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century The Legend of the Holy Drinker THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The Johnny Cash Roadshow THE FORGE, B'STOKE Leveret GUILDHALL P'MTH BSO WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH The Rigles THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Groove Merchant THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH Hot Feet PLATFORM TAVERN Sunflower FRIDAY 26TH NUFFIELD THEATRE A Raisin in the Sun MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Rocky Horror Show PLAZA THEATRE, RMY Paul Daniels

THE POINT, E'LGH Point Careers Day THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Swinging at the Cotton Club O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Global Rock Channenge CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Cast Off Kinks THE BROOK, SOTON U2-2 RODDINGTON FORGE Lou Taylors Soul Train THE JOINERS, SOTON CJ Wildheart TALKING HEADS, SOTON Weapon FIREHOUSE, SOTON Silvercatcher LEPE C/P Quiz & Supper Night MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail PYRAMIDS, P'MOUTH Stiff Little Fingers FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM That'll be the Day SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap Up Down Man

w w w. t h e c o n c o r d e c l u b . c o m SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century Barnstomers Comedy THE ANVIL, B'STOKE B'M Symphony Orchestra THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE The Gruffalo's Child NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Porthsmouths Great Cakespear Bake Off KINGS THRE, P'MTH Facinating Aida's Dillie Keane WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Breaking Bands A Night of Bowie THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Moving Voices Open Mic PLATFORM TAVERN Pete Leigh & The Union HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE Something Else SATURDAY 27TH NUFFIELD THEATRE A Raisin in the Sun MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Rocky Horror Show BERRY THEATRE, H/E Snoopy & Charlie Brown, A Peanuts

movie PLAZA THEATRE, RMY Paul Daniels THE POINT, E'LGH Leading Youth Dance Workshops O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Global Rock Channenge CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Edwin Starr Band THE BROOK, SOTON Guitar Legends MR KYPS, POOLE Never th Bride FIREHOUSE, SOTON M.A.R.S. MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail BIC, B'MOUTH Leona Lewis PAVILION, B'MOUTH Dire Straits Experience FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Chas & Dave SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Deathtrap Up Down Man SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century Zone Club Plus

Altar Club:Signals THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Rick Wakeman THE FORGE, B'STOKE Seckou Keita HAYMARKET, B'STOKE The Gruffalo's Child NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Marvellous Imaginary Menagerie KINGS THRE, P'MTH House of Burlesque WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Kodiak Jack THE PRIORY INN, B/W Mamma Belle SAINTS FC Chelsea – H AFC B'MOUTH Watford – A P'MOUTH FC Cambridge Utd – H AFC TOTTON Slimbridge – H EASTLEIGH FC Woking – H PLATFORM TAVERN Sloe Gin SUNDAY 28TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Who do I think I am? Mark Steel MAYFLOWER THEATRE Frankie Boyle – Hurt Like you've Never Been Loved THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Not Now, Bernard CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Savannah Jazz Band TALKING HEADS, SOTON Devilskin FIREHOUSE, SOTON Quiz Night MOORS VALLEY C/P Stick Man Trail SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE The Gruffalo's Child KINGS THRE, P'MTH Sorcerers Apprientice WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Simon Evans MONDAY 29TH NUFFIELD THEATRE Writers in Conversation- Shena Mackay MAYFLOWER THEATRE Cirque Berserk

O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Sabaton ++ MOORS VALLEY C/P STICK MAN TRAIL SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man Shadowlands SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century GUILDHALL P'MTH Twenty One Pilots

MARCH 2016 TUESDAY 1ST NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Cirque Berserk TURNER SIMS Ballake Sissoko and Vincent Segal THE POINT, E'LGH Les Miserables School Edition THE JOINERS, SOTON C Duncan SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man Shadowlands SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Lucy Spraggan THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH Tony Law : Frillemorphesis SAINTS FC AFC B'M – A AFC B'MOUTH Southampton – H P'MOUTH FC Exeter – A EASTLEIGH FC Cheltenham Town - H WEDNESDAY 2ND NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Cirque Berserk THE POINT, E'LGH Les Miserables School Edition THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Bryony Kimmings & Tim Grayburn CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Southampton Uni Big Band HAROLD HILLER GDNS Spring Evening Gardening course BIC, B'MOUTH Wet, Wet, Wet PAVILION, B'MOUTH A Salute to the 1940's

FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Jethro SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century KINGS THRE, P'MTH 80's Invasion Tour THURSDAY 3RD NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Faaaabulous Ceri Dupree Show TURNER SIMS Tord Gustavsen THE POINT, E'LGH Les Miserables School Edition THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Lysistrata CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Alexander O'Neal THE BROOK, SOTON The ZZ Tops THE JOINERS, SOTON Wilson HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wood Turning SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man Shadowlands SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century The Lobster THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE The Barron Knights NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Ruddygore WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Keston Cobblers Club FRIDAY 4TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Hetty Feather THE POINT, E'LGH Les Miserables School Edition THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Lysistrata O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Psychic Sally CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Soul Explosion THE BROOK, SOTON Dreadzone THE JOINERS, SOTON Will Varley ENGINE RMS, SOTON The Wonder Stuff

TALKING HEADS, SOTON The Vibrators MR KYPS, POOLE Willie & The Bandits FIREHOUSE, SOTON The Axis of Metal: Hobo Jones & The Junkyard Dogs ++ HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wood Turning SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man Shadowlands SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century Andrew Lawrence: Uncensored THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Paul Carrack THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE Ballake Sissoko & Vincent Segal NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Ruddygore KINGS THRE, P'MTH One Night of Rock WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Limehouse Lizzy Breaking Bands THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH Boo Hewerdine PLATFORM TAVERN Tim Payn'es Platform Posse HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE The Pick Ups, Rock 'n' Roll

Willow Sculpture Helleborus Display FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Wall of Floyd SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man Shadowlands SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century Live Lunch : Fred's House Met Live: Puccini's Manon Lescaut THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Frankie Boyle NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Ruddygore WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Dub Pistols + THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Icarus THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH The Little Unsaid SAINTS FC Sunderland – H AFC B'MOUTH Newcastle – A P'MOUTH FC Stevenage – A AFC TOTTON Tiverton Town – A EASTLEIGH FC Braintree Town – A PLATFORM TAVERN Black Kat Boppers

SATURDAY 5TH

SUNDAY 6TH

WINDSOR CASTLE Mod Town NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary Tom Thumb MAYFLOWER THEATRE Hetty Feather THE POINT, E'LGH Les Miserables School Edition O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON A Night at the Opera CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH The VoiceTones THE BROOK, SOTON Mercury RODDINGTON FORGE Chris The Hombre TALKING HEADS, SOTON Tenek FIREHOUSE, SOTON Quality showcase Rock/metal talent MANOR FARM C/P Flowers for Mothers Day ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Netley Stations 150th Anniversary HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wood Turning Luxury Chocolate Making

NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Hetty Feather BERRY THEATRE, H/E Royal Marines Association Concert Band CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH An Evening with Lulu THE JOINERS, SOTON UK Throwdown BOTLEIGH GRANGE, H/E Mothers Day Sunday MANOR FARM C/P Flowers for Mothers Day HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wood Turning Helleborus Display Mothers Day Lunch BLUE FUNNEL CRUISES Mothers Day Cruise TUDOR HS, SOTON Mothering Sunday Tour & Tea SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century Big Band Brunch KINGS THRE, P'MTH Islands in the Stream WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Ian McCulloch HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE Mothers Day Blues @ Curbridge Creek MONDAY 7TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chicago THE POINT, E'LGH Spectre THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Round & Round The Garden HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wood Turning PYRAMIDS, P'MOUTH Foxes SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Lysistrata GUILDHALL P'MTH Swan Lake THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH The Bros. Landreth

TUESDAY 8TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chicago TURNER SIMS Federico Colli THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Round & Round The Garden TALKING HEADS, SOTON Exodus HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wood Turning PAVILION, B'MOUTH Shan Filan SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man I am Thomas SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE West Side Story GUILDHALL P'MTH Sleeping Beauty Ballet WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH The Fat White Family WEDNESDAY 9TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chicago TURNER SIMS Recorder Extravaganza with Joglaresa THE POINT, E'LGH Youth Dance Showcase THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Round & Round The Garden TALKING HEADS, SOTON Fearless Vampire Killers HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wood Turning Spring Evening Gardening Course PAVILION, B'MOUTH The Bootleg Beatles SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man I am Thomas SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century Dr Sketchy's Salisbury THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE West Side Story THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Oslo Philharmonic Orchestra GUILDHALL P'MTH Soundsational THURSDAY 10TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chicago BERRY THEATRE, H/E The Legends of Sir Bevis THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Round & Round The Garden Golive Winchester CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Parton Sings Parton FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Gerry & The Pacemakers SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man I am Thomas SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century Healing Gardens THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE West Side Story THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The Moscow State Circus THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Red Tent PLATFORM TAVERN Derrin Nauendorf FRIDAY 11TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary

THE THREE DEGREES WITH LIVE BAND FRIDAY 8 APRIL

Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chicago THE POINT, E'LGH Straight Outta Cruttenden THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Round & Round The Garden CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH The Drifters THE BROOK, SOTON Banco de Gala THE JOINERS, SOTON The Spitfires TALKING HEADS, SOTON Share The Sound Festival MR KYPS, POOLE Whole Lotta Led FIREHOUSE, SOTON Lip service + support HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wessex Guild of Craftsmen PAVILION, B'MOUTH The Hollies SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man I am Thomas SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century Yves Lambert Trio THE FORGE, B'STOKE Sean Taylor THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE West Side Story THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The Moscow State Circus GUILDHALL P'MTH BSO THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH Dave McPherson (InMe) PLATFORM TAVERN Dr Blu HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE RU40 SATURDAY 12TH

Windsor Castle Toast with Beau NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary Flyaway Katie MAYFLOWER THEATRE Chicago BERRY THEATRE, H/E Orion and the Dark THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Round & Round The Garden CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH The Bee Gees Story THE BROOK, SOTON Bon Giovi ENGINE RMS, SOTON Matt Corby TALKING HEADS, SOTON Share The Sound Festival FIREHOUSE, SOTON Recluse BOTLEIGH GRANGE, H/E Motor neurone Disease Charity Ball ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Park Walk HAROLD HILLER GDNS Gimme, Gimme, Gimme a Murder at Dinner Wessex Guild of Craftsmen SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Up Down Man

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

I am Thomas SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century Night at the Theatre THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE West Side Story THE ANVIL, B'STOKE 80's Invasion Tour KINGS THRE, P'MTH The Circus of Horrors THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH Luke Daniels SAINTS FC Stoke City – A AFC B'MOUTH Swansea – H P'MOUTH FC Newport County – H AFC TOTTON North Leigh – H EASTLEIGH FC Chester – H PLATFORM TAVERN Chicago 9 SUNDAY 13TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary THE POINT, E'LGH Working with Early Years CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Sussex Jazz Kings TALKING HEADS, SOTON Blackbeards Tea Party ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Cemetery Walk HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wessex Guild of Craftsmen Cobweb Spin Early Spring Plants SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Philharmonia at the Movies KINGS THRE, P'MTH More Miller Magic PLATFORM TAVERN Vinyl & Pie Silent Movie Night MONDAY 14TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wessex Guild of Craftsmen PYRAMIDS, P'MOUTH Wolf Alice SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Berkshire Maestros NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH The Mousetrap GUILDHALL P'MTH Your Best Rock Challenge TUESDAY 15TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Matthew Bournes Sleeping Beauty TURNER SIMS Doric String Quartet PLAZA THEATRE, RMY All My Sons ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Iranian New Year

Te l : 0 2 3 8 0 6 1 3 9 8 9

HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wessex Guild of Craftsmen BIC, B'MOUTH Little Mix FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Anything Goes SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Masters of the 17th Century THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Berkshire Maestros NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH The Mousetrap KINGS THRE, P'MTH Peppa Pigs Surprise GUILDHALL P'MTH Your Best Rock Challenge WEDNESDAY 16TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Matthew Bournes Sleeping Beauty PLAZA THEATRE, RMY All My Sons THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Wessex Dance Academy O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Cirdus of Horrors CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Grant Stewart Quartet HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wessex Guild of Craftsmen Spring Evening Gardening Course FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Anything Goes THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE Dealers Choice THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Berkshire Maestros NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH The Mousetrap KINGS THRE, P'MTH Peppa Pigs Surprise GUILDHALL P'MTH Your Best Rock Challenge WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Oh Wonder + THURSDAY 17TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Matthew Bournes Sleeping Beauty PLAZA THEATRE, RMY All My Sons THE POINT, E'LGH Richard Alston Dance Co Pitch 'n' Mix THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Simon Callow O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON James Morrison CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Johnny Hates Jazz THE BROOK, SOTON Blancmange TALKING HEADS, SOTON Chantel McGreggor HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wessex Guild of Craftsmen BIC, B'MOUTH Peter Andre FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Anything Goes Jenny Docherty – Medium SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler

SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Phil Beer Band THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE Dealers Choice NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH The Mousetrap GUILDHALL P'MTH Your Best Rock Challenge WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Crossfaith FRIDAY 18TH WINDSOR CASTLE Work Shy NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Matthew Bournes Sleeping Beauty TURNER SIMS Moogmemory PLAZA THEATRE, RMY All My Sons THE POINT, E'LGH Richard Alston Dance Co THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Rockabilly Legends CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH The Puppini sisters THE BROOK, SOTON Legend RODDINGTON FORGE Groovejuice FIREHOUSE, SOTON Stonefree HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wessex Guild of Craftsmen PYRAMIDS, P'MOUTH The Neighbourhood FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Anything Goes SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE Dealers Choice THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Simply The Best Divas NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH The Mousetrap KINGS THRE, P'MTH Big Girls Don't Cry GUILDHALL P'MTH Your Best Rock Challenge WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Breaking Bands The Total Stone Roses THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Three Monkeys PLATFORM TAVERN Hannah Aldridge Debut HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE Shamrock Keys SATURDAY 19TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Massive Tragedy of Madam Bovary MAYFLOWER THEATRE Matthew Bournes Sleeping Beauty TURNER SIMS Christian McBride & Edgar Meyer BERRY THEATRE, H/E West End to Broadway PLAZA THEATRE, RMY All My Sons THE POINT, E'LGH Difuse Dance Platform

w w w. t h e c o n c o r d e c l u b . c o m

THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH The Pajama Game O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Ed Byrne: Outside, Lookingin CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Navi as Michael Jackson THE BROOK, SOTON Hairforce 5 THE JOINERS, SOTON Alias Kid ENGINE RMS, SOTON Field Music MR KYPS, POOLE Cuban Brothers FIREHOUSE, SOTON Shyne + Support HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wessex Guild of Craftsmen TUDOR HS, SOTON History Study Day FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Anything Goes SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler The Happiness SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Make More Noise! Suffrogettes in Silent Film Suffragette THE FORGE, B'STOKE Marry Waterson and David A Jaycock THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE Dealers Choice THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Brendan Cole NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH The Mousetrap KINGS THRE, P'MTH Once Upon a Dream GUILDHALL P'MTH Your Best Rock Challenge THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Earth Hour SAINTS FC Liverpool – H AFC B'MOUTH Tottenham – A P'MOUTH FC Mansfield – A AFC TOTTON Bishops Cleave – A EASTLEIGH FC FC Halifax Town – A PLATFORM TAVERN MJ Whipround SUNDAY 20TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE Bear Behaving Badly CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH The Chilites THE JOINERS, SOTON Heck BOTLEIGH GRANGE, H/E Grandmas Attic HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wessex Guild of Craftsmen Falconry Photography workshop BIC, B'MOUTH Joe Bonamassa SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler THE ANVIL, B'STOKE B'Stoke Symphony Orchestra MONDAY 21ST HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wessex Guild of Craftsmen LAKESIDE R'WAY, E'LEIGH Spring Steam Gala BURSLEDON WINDMILL Cogs & Gears SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler GUILDHALL P'MTH Songscape TUESDAY 22ND MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Barber of Seville THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Soho Cinders

ROYAL VICTORIA C/P The Owl's Lesson – Story Tail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Wessex Guild of Craftsmen PYRAMIDS, P'MOUTH Trivium FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Nathan Carter SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler Unearthed SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Salt of the Earth THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Double Talk NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH The Three Degrees WEDNESDAY 23RD MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Marriage of Figaro CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Ray Gelato's Enforcers THE JOINERS, SOTON Emmy The Great TALKING HEADS, SOTON Zappatika ROYAL VICTORIA C/P The Owl's Lesson – Story Tail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Spring Evening Gardening Course SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler Gloriator SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Home THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE Tony Stockwell GUILDHALL P'MTH James Martin THURSDAY 24TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Odyssey MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Marriage of Figaro Figaro gets a Divorce CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Paul Mico TALKING HEADS, SOTON Soft Machine ROYAL VICTORIA C/P The Owl's Lesson – Story Tail PAVILION, B'MOUTH The Simon & Garfunkel Story FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Pasha – Its All About You SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler Transports SALISBURY ARTS CTRE The Beanfield THE FORGE, B'STOKE Andy Cutting THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE Joe Lycett THE ANVIL, B'STOKE That'll Be The Day KINGS THRE, P'MTH Cats WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Roachford PLATFORM TAVERN The Devil's Perfects debut FRIDAY 25TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Odyssey MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Marriage of Figaro PLAZA THEATRE, RMY As Good As New THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH The A-Z of Musicals CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH The Big O & The Travelling Wilburys THE BROOK, SOTON Ultimate Elton & The Rocket Band FIREHOUSE, SOTON M.A.R.S. Presents

BREWERY BAR, BOTLEY Easter Weekender ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail LEPE C/P Easter Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Camellia & Magnolia Display Inspired by Nature BIC, B'MOUTH An Evening with Collabro SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler Transports SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Barnstormers Comedy NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Brian Conley KINGS THRE, P'MTH Cats THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH The Franklys P'MOUTH FC Notts County – H PLATFORM TAVERN Backwater Roll HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE Tee'd Up SATURDAY 26TH WINDSOR CASTLE Silverimage band NUFFIELD THEATRE The Odyssey MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Marriage of Figaro THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH The A-Z of Musicals CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Tributs to Lady Gaga, Pink & Katy Perry THE BROOK, SOTON Mainly Madness THE JOINERS, SOTON Purson ENGINE RMS, SOTON Reef TALKING HEADS, SOTON Tracer FIREHOUSE, SOTON Necrosis + Support BREWERY BAR, BOTLEY Easter Weekender ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail LEPE C/P Easter Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Camellia & Magnolia Display Inspired by Nature FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Fareham Stage Dance Festival SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler Transports SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Zone Club Live Lunch: Brandt Padron Altar Club: The Road to Sausage Fest 2016 NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH A Night of Dirty Dancing KINGS THRE, P'MTH Cats AFC TOTTON Marlow – A EASTLEIGH FC Welling United – H PLATFORM TAVERN Wang Dang Doodle Band SUNDAY 27TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Odyssey MAYFLOWER THEATRE Brenda Cole-A Night to Remember O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Sartaaj Live 2016

CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Brian Whites French Quarter TALKING HEADS, SOTON Oh! GunQuit BREWERY BAR, BOTLEY Easter Weekender BOTLEIGH GRANGE, H/E Easter Celebrations ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail LEPE C/P Easter Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Camellia & Magnolia Display Inspired by Nature LAKESIDE R'WAY, E'LEIGH Easter Egg Hunt PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Fareham Stage Dance Festival SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Professor Elemental THE PRIORY INN, B/W The Glitter Bugz HORSE & JOCKEY C’BGE The Vinyl Beats MONDAY 28TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Odyssey MAYFLOWER THEATRE Into The Woods: Remixed THE POINT, E'LGH Brooklyn THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Travel with My Aunt BOTLEIGH GRANGE, H/E Easter Celebrations ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail LEPE C/P Easter Trail Cold War Monitoring Post open day MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Camellia & Magnolia Display Inspired by Nature PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day Islands in the Stream FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Fareham Stage Dance Festival SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler KINGS THRE, P'MTH Footloose THE PRIORY INN, B/W Just Millie AFC TOTTON Wimborne Town – H EASTLEIGH FC Torquay Utd - A TUESDAY 29TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Odyssey MAYFLOWER THEATRE Into The Woods: Remixed THE JOINERS, SOTON Knuckle Puck ++ ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail LEPE C/P Easter Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Inspired by Nature Pond Dipping TUDOR HS, SOTON Family Treasure Chests WINDSOR CASTLE Stevie John Band

PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Fareham Stage Dance Festival SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Easter Treats: People Versus Planet Empathy KINGS THRE, P'MTH Footloose PLATFORM TAVERN Open Mic & Blues/Folk Jam WEDNESDAY 30TH NUFFIELD THEATRE The Odyssey Playdate MAYFLOWER THEATRE Gangsta Granny CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Echoes of Ellington Jazz Orchestra ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail LEPE C/P Easter Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Spring Evening Gardening Course HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Inspired by Nature PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Fareham Stage Dance Festival SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler The Magic Beanstalk SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Practice THE ANVIL, B'STOKE An Evening With Lulu KINGS THRE, P'MTH Footloose THURSDAY 31ST MAYFLOWER THEATRE Gangsta Granny BERRY THEATRE, H/E The Emperor's New Clothes CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Ben Haenow & His Band ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail LEPE C/P Easter Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Inspired by Nature Pond Dipping TUDOR HS, SOTON Time Travellers History Club PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day Shawn Klush – The Elvis World Tour PYRAMIDS, P'MOUTH The Cat Empire FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Fareham Stage Dance Festival SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler The Little Bookshop Boy THE FORGE, B'STOKE Bella Hardy THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE Rob Beckett THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Ray Mears KINGS THRE, P'MTH Footloose THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Groove Merchant THE RAILWAY INN, W'CH John Bramwell (IAMKLOOT)

APRIL FRIDAY 1ST WINDSOR CASTLE RU40 NUFFIELD THEATRE Street Beatz Dance Academy MAYFLOWER THEATRE Gangsta Granny BERRY THEATRE, H/E The Emperor's New Clothes THE BROOK, SOTON Broken Records ENGINE RMS, SOTON Mushroom Head + TALKING HEADS, SOTON Martin Turner MR KYPS, POOLE Sound of the Suberbs ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail LEPE C/P Easter Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Inspired by Nature TUDOR HS, SOTON Only Fools Allowed PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day A Night of Dirty Dancing FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Fareham Stage Dance Festival SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler Head in the Clouds SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Nel THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE Liza Pulman sings Hollywood THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The Wizard of Oz NEW THRE ROYAL, P'MTH Pop Factor KINGS THRE, P'MTH Footloose WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Southsea Beerex THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Theatre: Water SATURDAY 2ND MAYFLOWER THEATRE Gangsta Granny THE POINT, E'LGH Snoopy & Charlie Brown Movie CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Lionel Richie & Diana Ross Tributes RODDINGTON FORGE Gone Country MR KYPS, POOLE Chicken Shack & The Johnny Mars Blues Band ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail Park Walk MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Inspired by Nature PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Fareham Stage Dance Festival SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Hedda Gabler SALISBURY ARTS CTRE The Bear In The Bellows Met Live: Puccini's Madame Butterfly THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Philharmonia Orchestra KINGS THRE, P'MTH Footloose GUILDHALL P'MTH Hello Kitty WEDGEWD RMS, P'MTH Southsea Beerex

SAINTS FC Leicester – A AFC B'MOUTH Man City – H P'MOUTH FC Carlisle – H AFC TOTTON Burnham – H EASTLEIGH FC Guiseley AFC - H SUNDAY 3RD MAYFLOWER THEATRE Gangsta Granny CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Jools & The Jazzaholics ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail Cemetery Walk MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Inspired by Nature TUDOR HS, SOTON Vaults Tours PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day SALISBURY ARTS CTRE Bella Hardy THE HAYMARKET, B'STOKE How Lion Became King of Tinga KINGS THRE, P'MTH Bucks Fizz 35th Anniversary Tour MONDAY 4TH THE POINT, E'LGH Lady in the Van THE JOINERS, SOTON Room 94 ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail

HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Inspired by Nature Bread Making – Family Bushcraft BIC, B'MOUTH Years & Years PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day TUESDAY 5TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE An Inspector Calls THEATRE ROYAL, W'CH Shhh!

ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Inspired by Nature Pond Dipping TUDOR HS, SOTON Spring Fairies PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Travels with My Aunt KINGS THRE, P'MTH Easter Art School Banff Mountain Film Festival GUILDHALL P'MTH Barb Jungr WEDNESDAY 6TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE An Inspector Calls CONCORDE CLUB, E'LGH Derek Nash, Dave Newton, Geoff Gascoyne Sebastion de Krom THE JOINERS, SOTON Daniel Kemish ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail

HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Inspired by Nature TUDOR HS, SOTON Spring Fairies PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Gosport Gang Show SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Travels with My Aunt THE FORGE, B'STOKE Kings of the South Seas THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Ireland's Call KINGS THRE, P'MTH Mission Impudseyble THURSDAY 7TH MAYFLOWER THEATRE An Inspector Calls THE BROOK, SOTON Space ROYAL VICTORIA C/P Easter Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail HAROLD HILLER GDNS Easter Holiday Trail Inspired by Nature Pond Dipping TUDOR HS, SOTON Time Travellers History Club PAVILION, B'MOUTH That'll be the Day FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Gosport Gang Show SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Travels with My Aunt Stay Brave Brian Gravy SALISBURY ARTS CTRE The Big Bad Den Building Story Adventure Tangerines THE FORGE, B'STOKE Dane Baptiste

open mic’s & regular events etc ...

Friday - Live Music every - check first Thursday - Open Mic Night check first SIMON’S AT OXFORDS Sunday Jam Night THE ARTHOUSE MONTHLY Tuesday - Southampton Songwriters

This is just a guide (it says so on the cover) always check with the venue before getting your togs on and boarding the bus.

Very few (so few it hurts) venues tell us when they change their events, that despite more internet access than mi5, from time to time we get something wrong ... sniff ...

Wednesday - Poetry Stanza

want to buck the trend? email me at:

THE FERRYMAN, WARSASH

theandguide@mail.com

THE SHOOTING STAR

Thursday - Origami, Story Club Friday Epilepsy Coffee & Chat WEEKLY Tuesday - Board Games Night Wednesday - French Language Cafe & British Sign Language club Thursday - Crafty Cafe PYRAMIDS, P'MOUTH Friday Nights on The Terrace - check first!

1st Monday every month - Jam Night

Last Saturday of the month - Reloaded THE TESTWOOD TALKING HEADS

Monday - Open Mic

Monday - The Candle Club Open Mic

Tuesday - Charity Quiz

Every other Monday - Southampton Ukulele Jam

Wednesday - Rock’n Roll Bingo

Sunday Afternoon - Traditional Irish Acoustic Session

Friday - Theme Music Night

Thursday - Grumpy Club

Last Saturday of month - Disco/Live Music THE DOLPHIN @ ST DENYS

DOG FRIENDLY PUB AWARD

Monday - Jazz Club - 8.30pm to 11pm Harry Young & The Guys Snug Poker Night - 9.30 pm to 12pm

THE FERRYMAN

Tuesday - Open Mic Night from 7.30pm

Warsash

METTRICKS

Wednesday - Kimberly Kirby & supporting players.

Quiz Night - 7.30pm to 11.30pm See Stephen or Inez for more details.

Thursday Night to Saturday Night Live Music - 9pm to 11pm See website or Facebook for details

Sunday - Poker League THE ALEXANDRA Sunday & Mondays - Free Pool, and Retro Gaming Thursdays - Open Mic WHITE HORSE, NETLEY MARSH Last Sunday of Month – Quiz Night Monday – All you can eat curry night DOLPHIN, Botley Last Friday of Month – Live Music

Sundays 3pm - Live music on the Beer Garden stage

SOUTHAMPTON ARMS, WEST END

ORANGE ROOMS

RAILWAY INN, W'CHESTER

Monday - Blues Open Mic night

Fridays - Heartbreak Hotel

Rogue Tuesdays

2nd Tuesday of month - Retrograde

Orange Wednesdays

Mondays - Roots

Cocktail Culture - Thursday

Sundays - The Late Train Comedy Club

Mixtape Fridays

CAFE NOTE - NEW BAR!

Orange Saturday

The Notes Café, 14-15 Hanover

Retox Sunday

Buildings, Southampton SO14 1AE

BREWERY BAR, BOTLEY Wednesdays - Quiz Night 2nd Tuesday of month - Open Mic Night THE HOBBIT Mondays - Games Night

1st Monday of month Open Mic -

Coming soon Open Mic and live music!

DRUMMOND ARMS, Portswood Sunday Quiz BRIGADIER GERARD, Horton Heath Wednesday 8:30 Quiz

Tuesdays - Weekly Card Club Night

LINDEN TREE, Eastleigh

Wednesdays - Jam Night

Wednesday Quiz

Thursdays - Tom Bombadil's Cabaret Open Mic

FOX & HOUNDS, Horton Heath

3rd Monday of the Month - 3 Guys One Egg

Thursday Quiz 8:00

SEND US YOUR PICTURES! Think you’ve got the perfect pic’ for our Quiz?

Email them to: theandguide@mail.com or pm them to us from our FACEBOOK PAGE.

B

A

C

D

“know southampton? So where is it?”

E

The AND Guide Picture Quiz

F

sponsored by City Photographic

On this page you’ll see a small part of somewhere in the Southampton area.

The locations are below. Good luck. If you’re still stuck email me. Title it “I must get out more”.

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

CLUE: IT’S OUTSIDE SOUTHAMPTON.

Answers

A B C D E F G

Commercial Road Ageas Bowl Fleming Arms, Wide Lane Guildhall Square High Street, outside Stein Bar The sign for Highfield Landford Poacher, A36. (If we hadn’t included him he was going to do terrible things to us with our paper)

H I J K L M N O

Arundel Tower - the original. Far left facing Bargate.

Ocean Village Reopatriation Memorial, French Street, Southampton Riverside, Bishopstoke St James Park, Shirley The Bridge Pub, Woolston. (Yes really) Hythe looking at SouthamptonL Terminus Terrace West Quay Road

P Q R

Woolston (yes really. Some even had a view a year ago) M3, Winchester Factory Road, Eastleigh -

page 33

MIC’s broadcast

Michael Kurn

Well 2016 is well underway and a busy January has well an truly kick started the year.

It only seems like yesterday me and Martin were taking about the year ahead and I always find December is a great time to look back.

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you would have seen its been a mixture of football and hockey as the indoor season gets underway in the hockey world, and a busy month up and down the UK before I headed to Wembley Arena for the national finals.

January has also seen me able to take my foot off the gas a little bit and enjoy some football too. In the football world January is when the big boys enter the FA Cup of course.

Smaller clubs dream of that big glamour tie, a trip to Old Trafford or maybe one of the Premier League Elite will come to you? As you may know Eastleigh was a big part of my career at the very start and I'm lucky enough to still be involved in a small way. So a bit of time off meant I was able to enjoy their incredible FA Cup journey.

The competition has a special place in my heart. As a child I was shown David Peache's winners medal from that glorious summer of 76' which has been a big inspiration in my life and career. The immortal words from David of "What ever you want in life, if you want it bad enough you can get it!" Still ring true, and I was lucky enough to get my hands on the real cup at Eastleigh, which was a very special moment. I'm very lucky to spend a lot of time with the Premier League trophy but the FA cup is ... well it's the FA Cup isn't it!

For Eastleigh it was a historic run through to the third round for the first time ever and home tie v the famous Bolton Wanderers. A sold out Silverlake Stadium, and BBC's Football Focus bore witness to a hearty and skillful display on a very heavy pitch that was only just playable Eastleigh grabbed a 1-1 draw and a replay at Bolton.

Sadly in the replay it was a 3-2 win for the Championship side, but Eastleigh did themselves proud. Opening the scoring and battling back to be level at half time. What a testament to this small club is the incredible journey it has been on in such a short time. From Conference South to matching Bolton Wanderers. Who would have thought? Who knows how far the Spitires can go?

Southampton fortunes were slightly different in the FA Cup so let's focus on the League. In the space of a few short weeks they clubs has gone from questions of a possible relegation fight to looking at a European place. Bargain of the season has to be Saints signing of Charlie Austin too. Just 7 minutes it took him to score his first goal for the club as Southampton beat Manchester United on their patch for the second year running.

January also saw me attend the launch night for Sean Ervine's Benifit Year at Hampshire Cricket. A real servant to the club and throughly deserved, Slug will be hosting events right across the year raising money for two great causes, Naomi House and the Piam Brown Ward at the Southampton General Hospital. If you can support him in anyway at all details are on his website. There will be lots of cracking events to support. I might even see you there! www.seanervine2016.com

Well hope you all have a terrific start to your 2016 and once again, thanks for supporting The AND Guide.

info@kurnandkurn.com Twitter @michaelkurn

Making a Footballer

Those of you with Netflix maybe be aware of the TV documentary sensation, called “Making A Murderer”. This is the story of man who spent 18 years in jail for a crime he didn’t commit and released, having been found to have been wrongly imprisoned.

The rest of the series then focuses on how the local Manitowoc country legal system tries to convince a Jury and the world; that although they may have got it wrong once, they are going to prove “he is a murderer”.

Season two of our popular box set, “Making a Footballer”, at least for The Saints would be better titled “Keeping a Footballer”. If we are world class at making footballers then we must be Ryman League standard at keeping them. One of the big frustrations we endure, is that whenever we do have a player of value, it’s only a matter of time before we are hit from all sides by rumours of moves to Arsenal, Liverpool or Man United.

Rumours, fired up by the press, agents, dodgy chairman or from tapping up at England internationals. I will come back to this sore subject when I talk about Making a Club.

Watching this over the leisurely Christmas period led me, in a very convoluted way, to think about “How to make a Footballer.” Particularly, as Southampton are the accepted experts at this. Whether it’s taking a youngster into the academy and see him turn into the most expensive player in the world, like Gareth Bale. Or by taking a journeyman player like Rickie Lambert and turning into a high scoring, Premiership and England International, playing in the World Cup. From the point of view of a fan, the perfect player “to make” would be a Matt le Tissier. Mercurial talent, coupled with loyalty and passion to his one and only club, the city and the fans. Or somebody like Francis Benali, with the same one club career as Le Tiss but with the gritty determination to make himself a topflight player and very occasionally score a goal. Well one goal. Not bad for a player who started his career at Saints as a number 9!

Of course, there are things to be avoided at all costs in making a player. There’s the Dejan Lovren. Where you rescue a player whose career is on the skids, make him a media favourite and centre half of the season, only to see him disappear to another club at the first chance of a pay rise. A pay rise most Liverpool fans would say he hasn’t deserved.

Then there is the Agustín Javier Delgado Chalá. This is when your chairman splashes out on a new player, purely on the back of a dodgy video. A player who turns out to be permanently injured … except when Ecuador are playing in the World Cup. But, looking back, it did lead to one of Gordon Strachan’s best post match quips. When pressed for his plans for the Ecuadorian, Strachan replied "I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yoghurt to finish, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.”

Worse still in terms of player production could be the Osvaldo: costs a fortune, scores one goal and attacks your centre half.

But no, worse than that is the Ali Dia. This is when one of the most acclaimed footballers of his generation, Graham Souness, gets taken in by essentially a prank phone call and gives a bloke 15 minutes on the pitch, at the expense of Le Tissier no less! Subbing him on and a quarter of an hour later, subbing him off. Thus proving why Graham is not one of the most acclaimed managers of his generation.

This is another area where the Saints board have excelled. Pardew won us a trophy. Adkins got us back to back promotions. Pochettino cemented our Premiership position. And Koeman took us into Europe. Not for long I admit - but we were there. Except I was on holiday and missed it!

What is interesting about our managerial appointments since the Liebherr takeover, is they have all been successful. And none of them were from the usual betting odds suspects that teams get linked with. Pardew was a forgotten man at the time we signed him.

Pochettino and Adkins were virtually unknown and Koeman was better known as a player than a manager. With two sacked and one leaving it will be interesting if we can get Koeman to sign up to the long term Saints project and extend his contract past three years.

Koeman has ambition. Saints fans have ambition. And the club? Which brings me to the next section of this programme.

MAKING A MANAGER

MAKING A FOOTBALL CLUB The first man to do this for us, in my memory anyway, was the great Ted Bates.

Lifting us from the old Third Division to the First and paving the way for Laurie’s FA Cup triumph, promotion back to Division 1 and our mightiest finish of 2nd.

Eventually, after Rupert Lowes tenure, we needed somebody else to “re-make Southampton Football Club”. Marcus Liebherr entered the fray and like Ted Bates, started the journey that took us from effectively, the old Third to the First again. The original 5 year plan has taken us to the Premiership and the Europa League. Now we wait to see if the club’s suggestion of aiming for the Champions League comes to pass. Because to make a Champions League club requires a bit more than we have now.

Firstly, a 60,000 seater stadium. Most clubs in the CL have big grounds. Take for example Arsenal who use their capacity to take over £100million revenue a year from match day receipts.

Secondly, and like or not, we need a wage bill nearer £200 million than the £50 million or so we paid in the last published accounts. And why? Because to retain and attract elite players you have to give them one less reason to leave. A great stadium yes, Champions League football yes. But despite what they say, pay is the biggest reason for moving on.

On this front next summer will be crucial in terms of players retention, player acquisition and also getting Koeman to put pen to paper as part of the Saints project.

MAKING A FAN You can’t just make a Saints fan. I think they are born. And if I had to name any fan who was born to be one of the great Saints fans it would be Malcolm Ross, who sadly passed away recently. I got to know Malcolm through the Internet Saints back in the early days of the interweb. Some of you may remember the old Yahoo Saintslist where he was an active member and known as Philly Saint for a while, during his time working in America. We shared a few beers when we were both working in Ireland, frequenting the occasional Dublin bar.

His passion for Saints though went beyond the bounds of normal fans. When he was working in America, he would board a plane in THE USA and undertake a 22 hour round trip to come and watch saints play at St Mary’s. Dedication. A toast to you Malcolm and condolences to your family and close friends!

MAKING A PLAYER’S NAME Finally, just to amuse you while you drink your Cappupresso Double Latte Mocha Caramel with chocolate sprinkles… try rearranging the following words to identify the names of some current Saints players. (Subject to unexpected January transfer window dealings).

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

Large pale zion I name soda Am sword sweep jar Jest of one Rid jay close O give old sly Sell hag a gram Oi! room rule

(This issue’s Saints column is dedicated to Malcolm Ross (above) and an old friend and former chairman of Southampton Independent Supporters Association Mike O’Callaghan who recently lost his brave fight with a brain tumour. “God bless Ginge you always made me laugh!” In fact you can see a clip of him waving from his flat at Matt Le Tissier during an old episode of The AND Magazine TV Show on Youtube. Ed) SAINTS NAME QUIZ ANSWERS 1. GRAZIANO PELLE, 2. SADIO MANE, 3. JAMES WARDPROWSE, 4. JOSE FONTE, 5. JORDY CLASIE 6. LLOYD ISGROVE, 7. SAM GALLAGHER, 8. ORIOL ROMEU

Mr Tein

the

stockist game Can U spot the double?

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