10# August / September 2015

IF IT’S GOING ON... IT’S GONE IN... TAKE ME HOME - I’M YOURS! SOUTHAMPTON’S KICK-ASS Listings, Reviews & Comment PAPER! bi-monthl issue 10 : august/september 2015

COVER : 3 TRIAL ISSUES AND ONE YEAR OF THE AND GUIDE

The AND Guide is empowered by

Thanks to my lovely wife I had a bit of a holiday just before this issue. She said she’d leave me if I didn’t stop working! I immediately piled up the assignments but instead, a week later, found myself halfway up a mountain in Corfu.

I didn’t really want to go. Two days later I didn't want to come back. A jewel of an island perfectly complemented by the warmth and hospitality of the people, in particular my new hotelier friends Theo and Elena of THEOS HOTEL. Enjoyed it so much I wanted to give them and their lovely staff Lisa, Fontas, Billy, Olga and Alex a plug. So I am.

Greece has taken a bit of a battering recently, but you’d never have known from their generosity or demeanour. Trust me on this ... go visit! www.theoshotel.com

Hello AND Land and welcome to your new edition of The AND Guide.

Bit of a shock for me this issue. It’s the first issue of its second year! No ... me neither. For those of you with a good memory February last year I brought out 3 issues to see if I was mad or not ... and then having realised I was, went for it with my first official issue last August. Hence my Andy Warhol influenced front cover this time round. All a bit last minute to be hone. I did have a bikini picture of Bruce Jenner lined up but I guess I’ll have to put it on hold now. And yes that might be an unfortunate choice of phrase.

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Anyway... to celebrate the start of our 2nd year, I’m delighted to announce 3 brand new columns for your ongoing interest and entertainment. (Yep ... I’m going to make it all sound like it was planned). I really chuffed to welcome back two of my old AND Magazine team in the form of gifted legal eagle David Walker and motorcycle guru Tony Long who previously loaned me his cousin for road tests. AND to add to those we’ve also got an environmental column. I’ve wanted to introduce all 3 for some time but thought I’d wait for our Birthday ... cough. But do check them out. David will show you how to crack down on those irritating customers that just dont want to pay without stressing yourself out. The Green Column includes a no-brainer deal for business to save lots of money while also doing their bit for the environment and the Bike column is just pure self indulgence for me, with a mixture of trivia, insight and musing about Arnie’s choice of a Fat Boy in Terminator.

AND ... of course there is the now famous AND Diary listing a ridiculous list of things for us all to enjoy. It’s a joke that’s fired at me regularly when I first talk to AND virgin’s about having a list of everything going on in the Southampton area “Not a very thick paper then!” Haha... chortle, chortle... To be fair I’ve never counted how many items we list each issue. I do know though that there are on average 6 pages of listings... with each page having 6 columns... and each column having up to 40 events so er... how many is that? Ummm... a lot. Certainly enough for any of us whatever our interest to find

MEET THE PEAS Did you find Them hiding in the Last issue?

Really? It’s meant to be for kids. Better luck this issue then!

Can you find Annie? She’s in every issue of course!

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Last issue they were on page 11

something of interest. Go try it out now.

Blue tint is for family stuff, light orange is for live music, yellow for comedy, green for shows, red for sport and a Brucie Jenna kind of pink colour for the events I’m not quite sure how to categorise. Ummm ... another unfortunate choice of phrase.

Sorry Bruce only kiddin ... in the words of Tom Jones, I take my hat off to you.

You’ve taken publicity stunts to a whole new level ... Oops, I’ve done it again haven’t I? Right... back to the paper. I’ve said it before and one of these issues I’ll actually do it and not write this piece after I’ve been up for 30 hours. Next issue I promise sense and sensibility will be my middle name. Fortunately I’ve had some really good comedy shows to keep me awake. I particularly like the David Cameron sitcom where he sent some wire fencing to stem the massing hoards on our borders, and that episode where you find out that Osama Bin Laden’s family were flying around Hampshire ... what was it called?

Oh yes The News. And no of course I’m not making light of any loss of life, but come on ... really? And it just fell out of the sky? Really? (again). And Cecil the lion was shot by a dentist ... really (again, again). My hope is that I’ll wake up in a minute and spot Bobby Ewing in my shower, and sanity is once again on the menu. Oh and Bruce, given the choice I’d go for a 38-DDD. Take very good care folks and thank you so much for supporting the paper. It’s put together with love and affection by Paul Ridge, Louise Beach Steel, Barry Upton, Matt Black, Chris Barfoot, Russell Cook, Tina Wellman, Martin Boorman, Rosalind Fountain, Stuart Davis, Fatima Zahib, Tony Wright, Jezz Phipp, Lucy McNeil, Mike Plumbley, Tony Long, David Walker, my spiritual advisors Annie Philpott and Steve Ellis and my long suffering wife Tracey.

theandguide@mail.com 07969 174 586

GREEN COLUMN

Amongst all the billions of planets known to man, there is still only one known to support life. It’s this one. Let’s look after it ... be daft not to?

Martin Perry

Introducing the first of a regular Green column. Each issue I’ll look to bring you news, insight and tips into the current state of our lovely planet, largely from a Southampton perspective and ways in which you can contribute and perhaps even save money in the process. But first a bit of a preamble ... bear with me, I’ll get there quick as I can.

Generate your own electricity ... FREE! No costs at all!* Solar PV system installed free of charge.

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Keep the Solar Panels At the end of the 20 year FIT* period, we will gift the system to you to continue to enjoy free electricity for the lifetime of the system (c.15 years).

Help the environment It is estimated that for each kWh of solar PV energy generated you would save 445 grammes of CO2. Example a 50kW array on average would save 22,250 tonnes of CO2 per annum.

What’s the catch?

There truly isn’t one. The client simply needs to agree to lease the airspace above their roof for 20 years and in return all the above benefits are theirs.

So how can LED afford to do it? *LED receive a payment from the government under the Feed-in Tariff scheme, setup to encourage the development and distribution of renewable energy technology.

*Only available for south facing roofs. Offer is for businesses only and subject to survey.

LED is a co-operative business

Co-operatives are based on the values of self-help, self-responsibility, democracy, equality, equity and solidarity.

In the tradition of their founders, co-operative members believe in the ethical values of honesty, openness, social responsibility and caring for others.

When I launched The AND Guide 18 months ago … ish, I did it for a number of reasons.

Primarily I wanted to push my city. I wanted to shout about all the things we have going on and promote and tell everybody about the many, many talented individuals we have. Previously I had gathered together people, companies and organisations I held in high regard into an awesome networking group called Southampton Ambassadors. (You’ll have seen their logos at the back of this paper) I also wanted to promote them. Though not an exhaustive list I’m sure, they are in my opinion (and that’s the only way you can be a Southampton Ambassador) absolutely brilliant at what they do, value for money, with strong ethical values… and damn good people t’boot, all wanting to contribute to taking the Southampton region forward. Hence The AND Guide.

Anyway… having with all your help established The AND Guide as Southampton’s most popular free publication, I want to now expand its content to include new areas that are important to us all. Thus … The Green column.

(Crikey a ‘hence’ and a ‘thus’ within 5 lines… its almost Chaucer!) AND to start it all off I am delighted to have secured the input of my old ex Bellemoor mate Paul Hambridge who has championed green energy in the form of solar power across the UK for many years.

In the spirit of this column not only can I tell you about the state of play with solar energy at them moment but I can also show you how you might have cheaper and greener energy for er … life, through a guy that I would and have trusted my reputation on many times.

Which ticks all the boxes for me.

So … phew … preamble over.

Business owners ... want to save money? Want to help the environment?

Then this is for you!

bills through a Free Solar for Business offer. I’ll say that again… Free Solar for Business.

SOLAR ENERGY Amber Rudd the Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change has announced that the subsidies for large solar energy schemes will finish in April 2016, smaller commercial and residential schemes subsidies cuts are planned through quarterly reviews of the Feed In Tariff, (FIT) with many industry experts saying that FIT’s for all schemes could finish within a year. This follows a gradual decrease in FIT incentives since its introduction to much applause and Government chest beating just over 4 years ago.

FIT … a mechanism for repaying a capital investment in solar panels over a twenty year period, was introduced by the Government in 2010. Its purpose to encourage and reward people who generate their own electricity from renewable, low carbon sources, such as pv solar panels. These payments were made regardless of any electricity consumed, either from their own generating system or bought-in.

It also provided a guaranteed income. Anyway its ending …

Another clear signal that the renewable energy industry is not exempt from the Conservative Government’s cost cutting exercise is the announcement that MP’s pay is to rise er… oops writing spasm … is the announcement that the Green Deal initiative is to be closed down prematurely. (The Green Deal is the Government initiative to help business and home owners employ more green technologies in their properties to save energy.

Loft insulation, wall cavity foam etc) ANYWAY SOME GOOD NEWS Yep, the writing is on the wall as far as Solar Energy subsidies are concerned but there is still a small window of opportunity. Paul Hambridge of LED Energy Management in conjunction with Southampton Ambassadors has risen to the challenge to 'Make Southampton Greener' by offering local businesses the opportunity to reduce their energy

FREE SOLAR FOR BUSINESS (OKAY 3 TIMES) HOW DOES IT WORK? In short clients agree to lease LED the airspace above their roofs for twenty years. LED then install a solar system on the roof free of charge and maintain the system for 20 years, the FIT period. At no cost to the clients. For this LED receive the FIT payments. The client would then enter into a power purchase agreement to purchase the electricity that the solar panels on their roof produces. The saving is made because its significantly cheaper than the existing power from the National Grid.

Currently the export tariff rate stands at 4.85 pence per kWh. With average electricity prices around 12 pence per kWh this represents significant savings for business users. Then at the end of the twenty year period LED gift the system to the clients who can continue to enjoy free electricity.

From where I’m standing its as close to a ‘no brainer’ as I’ve ever heard. The only catch is that the offer won’t last long as the Government is ending the incentive for solar energy companies to invest in the technology by ending the FIT. So if you’re interested, energise yourself and phone Paul now or miss out.

Tell him The AND Guide sent you!

Tel: 01564 637484 Mobile: 07900 146 233 info@ledcooperative.co.uk www.ledcooperative.co.uk

empowering the and guide

page 5

LEAGLE EAGLE David Walker

End late payments before they end your business!

The Legal Eagle is back!

I was so pleased to hear that my mate Martin had relaunched AND Magazine so you can imagine my delight when he called asking whether I wanted my old column back.

Of course I did! I loved being part of the AND family!

So, for this first column, I’m going to give you a bit of an update on what I’ve been up to and what to expect in coming editions.

Grid Law Solicitors is still going strong but along side that I’m now passionately pursuing a new mission and that’s to empower all small businesses to take action against slow paying clients.

Late payment is a huge problem and it’s one that most of us have encountered at one point or another.

55% of businesses fail within 5 years and the main reason for this, is that they run out of cash. It sounds an obvious statement to make, and if it is, why does it still happen so often?

they’re taking steps to end the late payment problem, they’re actually making the situation worse!

Take the small claims limit for example. While they talk about appointing a new small business commissioner to tackle the late payment problem, they’ve quietly doubled the small claims limit from £5,000 to £10,000! This is significant because if you start legal action in the Small Claims Court (where most late payment disputes are resolved) you can’t recover your legal fees, even if you win!

So now, with this higher threshold, it’s even less likely you will instruct a solicitor to help you recover your unpaid invoices because it’s not cost effective to do so. Which means your clients get away with not paying!

Unless of course, you take action yourself.

The truth is, you don’t need me or any other solicitor to recover the money for you because going to the small claims court is far easier than you might think.

And my new venture, Cash Flow Rescue, gives small businesses all the tools and tactics they need to do this.

Running a business can be a fight for survival and it’s down to you to

Most business owners don’t even see the end coming.

They get frustrated at their clients not paying on time, and then try to fix the wrong things. They focus on cutting costs or making more sales but this just makes the situation worse!

Most of the time it’s not a bad idea or not enough sales that causes the problem, it’s the fact that they’re not getting paid quickly enough for the work they’ve already done.

Most business owners don’t even see the end coming. They get frustrated at their clients not paying on time, and then try to fix the wrong things. They focus on cutting costs or making more sales but this just makes the situation worse! This is why even a profitable business can be forced to close, just when things seem like they’re going well.

You can’t pay your bills with profit.

Profit is just the promise of cash and unless your clients pay on time, they’re breaking their promise to you.

And if you don’t have enough cash, you can’t pay your own bills so as a result, you’re forced out of business.

If you run a business, it’s your responsibility not to allow this to happen. You owe this to your staff, to your suppliers and to yourself.

You can’t wait for someone else to solve this problem for you, because it’s never going to happen. Now, I’m not going get into a political rant here, but whilst the government says

be as best equipped for that fight as you can be, because every unpaid invoice is another nail in your business’s coffin.

But you’re not on your own. I’m here to help and support you all the way. Let me know how late payments affect your business and in future columns I’ll answer your questions and give you the tactics you need to tackle this problem straight away.

For more information about recovering your unpaid invoices, go to: www.cashflowrescue.com

or email me at dwalker@cashflowrescue.com

Catherine Zeta-Jones Joins Rod Bransgrove at Grand Opening of the Hilton at the Ageas Bowl Hampshire Cricket Chairman Rod Bransgrove was joined by family friend and Hollywood actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, CBE, to celebrate the completion of the £50 million redevelopment of the Ageas Bowl at the Grand Opening of the new Hilton at the Ageas Bowl.

On Monday 6 July, a number of key figures from the local area came together to the elegant Ageas Ballroom, one of the largest ballroom facilities in the South, to mark the official opening of the 171-guestroom Hilton Hotel.

The landmark development at the Ageas Bowl boasts a wide range of dining options, including exciting new restaurant chain BEEFY’s, launched by former England captain Sir Ian Botham who was also present to help with the Grand Opening, the UK’s first luxury Hilton eforea spa and a relaxing and spacious setting for conferences and events.

Hampshire Cricket Chairman, Rod Bransgrove said: “This is a huge day. It’s not only the completion of the hotel we are celebrating today, it’s the completion of a massive journey that started fifteen years ago when we moved from Northlands Road to this impressive new site. In 2005, we realised to make the best out of this site we had to offer more than just a cricket ground and here we are today celebrating the opening of this magnificent Hilton Hotel.”

On arrival, guests were welcomed to a performance from the Crestwood College Steel Band, prior to Rod and Catherine formally unveiling a plaque to mark the opening of the latest and most impressive development at the Ageas Bowl.

Guests were then treated to an impressive display from an aerial silk performer, before enjoying a wide selection of food and drink stations, including a seafood bar and hot and cold canapés.

Dominic Osborne, General Manager, Hilton at The Ageas Bowl, said: “Today we celebrate the completion of The Ageas Bowl development, which recently saw the opening of Hilton at The Ageas Bowl. It is a fantastic opportunity to look back on the great work that has been achieved so far by everyone in the project, as well as look forward to what I am sure will be a very exciting future for the home of Hampshire cricket.

Nuffield Director to debut with Tennessee Williams’

The Glass Menagerie 9 – 31 OCTOBER 2015 This October, Nuffield’s Director Samuel Hodges, now in his second year leading the company, will direct a production of Tennessee Williams’ The Glass Menagerie. The production marks Hodges’ directorial debut with Nuffield, which will feature design by Ultz (Olivier Award winner, Jerusalem, Royal Court).

Written by Tennessee Williams (A Streetcar Named Desire, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof) in 1944 and partly based on the author’s own youth, The Glass Menagerie is considered one of the great plays of the twentieth century.

Samuel Hodges said: “I am thrilled that my Nuffield debut as a director will be the masterpiece The Glass Menagerie. This is one of the finest works from one of the greatest twentieth century dramatists and was his first great Broadway success. It was radical and bold when it was first produced almost 70 years ago, a quality which it retains uniquely to this day, making it a perfect fit for the work we are creating at Nuffield.”

The cast will feature Danny Lee Wynter, Belinda Lang, Pearl Chanda, and Wilf Scolding.

THE PLOT: “I will rise - but I won’t shine” Two hours sleep, coffee, cigarette and Tom’s back at the warehouse. At home, his mother despairs. Her daughter Laura is worryingly single and growing more strange by the day.

Tensions are reaching breaking point and their cramped apartment isn’t big enough for the three of them. When Tom brings a work colleague home for dinner, Laura realises she knows him all too well.

A lyrical portrait of a family running from reality, The Glass Menagerie explores the human capacity for hope against all the odds.

Tickets: £10.00, £18.00, £22.00 & £25.00 Box Office: 023 8067 1771 nuffieldtheatre.co.uk

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page 7

Stu’s live music preview pic’s Stuart Davis

Summer time is well and truly upon us and every summer needs to have its own soundtrack... those bands, singers & songs that will evoke recollections of sun drenched blissful times in years to come.

The local live scene in August and September provides you many great opportunities to compile or add to your summer soundtrack with some wonderful musical attractions on offer, both indoors and out.

Gun slinging Iron Maiden bass warhorse Steve Harris and his side project British Lion will be roaring into action AT THE 1865 where you can also enjoy Blues guitarist Kirk Fletcher, some quirky pop punk from State Champs and a night of ‘up and coming talent, cultured music and uncultured laughs’ as River Studios and The AND Guide present Southampton Unplugged. The event features comedians Wayne the weird and Christian Lee, music from Steve Lowis and also a certain Mr Martin Perry as the master of ceremonies with a cameo appearance from local sax god Tony Wright of George Michael, Wham and Katrina & The Waves fame! We have some free tickets for the first 12 couples to pm our facebook page (theandguide) THE TALKING HEADS vast mixture of marvels includes punk troupers 999, progressive folkies Stackridge and an unplugged set from new wave lynchpins China Crisis. If skanking is your bag then you won’t want to miss a double dose of ska/reggae, firstly from the excellent but curiously named Doris and the Dots and then with New York innovators The Toasters, who will be out to provide the ultimate jam!!

Indie darlings The Wombats and London’s Wolf Alice, who took their name from an Angela Carter novel, will be rocking up at THE SOUTHAMPTON 02 GUILDHALL where there is also a merging of comedy and music with Jasper Carrot’s stand up and rock show.

Firing on all cylinders at the ENGINE ROOMS will be riotous skapunks Less than Jake, jesting folk rockers The Beards, Glen Danzig’s horror punk progenitors The Misfits and a special brew of merriment from Buster Bloodvessell and his Bad Manners cohorts.

Congregating at THE JOINERS and cranking it up to 11 you'll find scuzzy metallers Dearly Beloved; the Ramones-esque Teenage Bottlerocket, hardcore dub-steppers Seething Akira and noise merchants Red Jumpsuit apparatus will all be doing the same.

If your tastes are more old school then The Psychedelic Warlords, named after a 1974 Hawkwind song and featuring ex member Alan Davey may be more to your liking.

Amongst the heavier acts fanning the flames at THE FIREHOUSE will be TKO and Toledo Steel whilst at the Orange Rooms there is a rare treat in store as the phenomenal ex house of Pain rapper turned singer/songwriter/guitar slinging troubadour Everlast takes to the stage.

Take it from me; you do not want to miss this one.

Fed up of paying ridiculously over inflated prices to see the really big acts? Don't want to wait 5 years for

them to tour, or can't see them because they have disbanded? Well, once again the ever dependable BROOK offers a great solution with another vast array of ‘almost as good as the real thing’ tribute acts, with homages being paid to Elton John, Black Sabbath, Bryan Adams, The Faces,U2, Fleetwood Mac, ELO, ZZ Top and many more. In addition to this 1980's alt-rockers The Icicle Works, Ex-Drifter Ray Hemmings and his Motown Show will also be appearing as well as a sporadic chance to get re-connected with The Stereo Mcs. Rivalling the Brook in the tribute act stakes is THE CONCORDE in Eastleigh where Tina Turner, Katie Perry, Pink, Gerry and the Pacemakers, Jessie J, Abba, The Beatles and Boney M impersonators will all be treading the boards. Jazz is of course prominent again with Westside Syncopaters, Brian White's French Quarter and Bob Dwyer’s Bix and Pieces as well as soul (Danny Foster and Big Soul), 60's Pop (The Foundations), 70s Pop (The Osmonds) and sultry pop (Elkie Brooks).

Other venues worth checking out in and around the city for some great live music include THE HORSE AND JOCKEY, THE WINDSOR CASTLE, THE BREWERY BAR (Botley), THE NAVIGATOR (Swanwick), METTRICKS, THE ALEXANDRA, THE ART HOUSE, MARSHALLS BAR, THE FROG AND FRIGATE and Southampton’s very own ‘house of blues’ THE PLATFORM TAVERN. There are a handful of outdoor events too, THE LANGLEY FESTIVAL features DJ Fresh, Jacob Plant, Mark Morris (The Bluetones) and The Artful Dodger, who will also be featuring at Southampton Soundclash alongside Oxide and Neutrino, legendary DJ David Rodigan and Basement Jaxx who will all be 'doing their thing'.

If you like to listen to a toot on the flute and a twiddle on the fiddle then the NEW FOREST FOLK FESTIVAL includes some of the top names in the genre including Home Service, Tannahill Weavers, Gigspanner and the superb 3 Daft Monkeys (which would actually be a very apt name for my band Thinker!).

A hop skip and a jump down the M27 in Hampshire’s other major city Portsmouth the offerings are equally alluring with THE WEDGEWOOD ROOMS showcasing the fantastic 60's influenced contemporary sounds of Si Cranstoun, indie urchins The View, who will be promoting their forthcoming album ‘Ropewalk’, ex-Supergrass drummer Danny Goffeys amusingly christened new outfit ‘VanGoffey’ and a Reading/Leeds festival warm up show for Ash. THE PYRAMIDS welcomes the recently reformed Bluetones and Big Bang Theory theme tunesmiths The

Barenaked Ladies whilst at The Kings Theatre the wonderful Joan Armatrading and Merseybeat icons The Searchers will be enchanting audiences with their prestigious back catalogues and at the Guildhall ‘It must be Madness’ will be interpreting the hits of Suggs and co.

Other Portsmouth venues worth checking out include THE RMA TAVERN, THE JOLLY SAILOR, THE BARLEY MOW, THE RIFLE CLUB, THE FAT FOX and THE ADMIRAL DRAKE. But perhaps Portsmouth’s biggest musical attractions are outdoors with both THE VICTORIOUS FESTIVAL and BESTIVAL taking place over the next two months.

Victorious features a first-rate selection of acts including Kinks frontman Ray Davies, ex Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr and ‘loaded’ Scottish innovators Primal Scream alongside Tiny Tempah and The Flaming Lips… and the inclusion of Welsh melodic geniuses the Super Furry Animals is worth the entrance fee alone.

Whilst over at the Isle of Wight’s 'other festival', Missy Elliott,1980’s wild boys Duran Duran, The Chemical Brothers, drum n bass pioneer Roni Size and Mark Ronson are amongst the main lures.

The increasingly popular WICKHAM FESTIVAL’S eclectic line-up includes spectacled harmonious duo The Proclaimers, political minstrel Billy Brag, 10CC and the stunning country tinged melodies of The True Deceivers, who feature my exceptionally gifted Thinker bandmate Chris 'Spud' Edwards on fiddle and Steve Harley 'Cockney Rebel' will be wanting you to ‘Come up (to Wickham) and see him’...and hopefully that will ‘make him smile’.

Not to be outdone, Winchester hosts two fantastic outdoor gatherings too, with the reggae flavoured 'ONE LOVE' FESTIVAL boasting the likes of Dawn Penn, Ben Harper and The Mad Professor, whilst Boomtown Fair's mouth-watering line-up includes Gypsy punks Gogol Bordello, Amoudou and Mariam, Gentleman’s Dub Club, The Mahones, Capdown, Steven ‘son of Bob’ Marley and the greatest punk band of all time 'Snuff'.

And finally at Winchesters premier venue THE RAILWAY Spear of Destiny’s Kirk Brandon will be performing an acoustic set, heavy rockers Lip Service will be wigging out and John Coughlan’s Quo will getting on down…..down, deeper and down!

So once again there is another enthralling mixture of temptations for August and September...and who knows, maybe you will find some more additions to add to your 'summer soundtrack'.

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page 9

MIC’s broadcast HAVE YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO COMPETE IN THE Michael Kurn

So after what feels like the longest summer ever...

This month sees the return of the greatest league in the world. Can Southampton repeat last years success?

Will Ronald's Red Army conquer Europe? And will those Cherries, our neighbours down the road survive their first season in the Premier League?

All questions that as a local lad I want to know the answer to, but for those of you who read The AND Guide will know, I'm lucky enough to find out first hand, and this season, for me promises to be one amazing adventure.

Over the summer break I accepted a contract to continue my work presenting the world feed for the Premier League.

On top of this I was also offered a studio show. Something I have dreamed of and worked for for the last eight years. Yep the next chapter of my journey has now begun, and hopefully I can help put Southampton on the map along my way.

So while there may not have been any Premier League games for the last few months but that doesn't mean I haven't been busy. I have been up and down the UK presenting Tennis for the LTA and August will see me head up to the Olympic Park in London to present the Euro Hockey Championships. The Top eight men's and woman's teams will come to London to battle it out to be crowned European Champions. And it won't just be me flying the flag for Southampton, ex-Trojans Alex Danson England & GB woman's star will be hoping to repeat her successes of 2012 back at the Olympic Park. Best of luck to Alex and the rest of the England woman's and men's team. I know we have a large hockey following across the area so if you have tickets and are coming up do come and say "hello" I was also lucky enough over the summer to once again be involved with Hampshire Cricket presenting their T20 matches with Kris Temple. Last month saw their charity Hampshire Cricket in the Community host it's first annual ball, the 150 Not Out Summer Ball. It was a real privilege to present the night, with guests including a host of current and ex players. But what made the night really special was the two Youth Ambassadors Cam and P who came and spoke to the audience. Cam and P give their time at events to help the charity and also promote and work with them across Hampshire to inspire people to play cricket, engage young people and adults in learning and to encourage people to live well. They spoke with such passion about what they do and it was great to see two young people doing a great job in our local community. They are just two of fifteen ambassadors working with the charity and the money raised from that night will go such a long way to help them continue their work.

AND ... (See what I did there Martin? [No I was still wondering how many free lunches you'd had at all this hobnobbing? Ed]) talking of charity it's just under two months to go till my charity event at the Grand Harbour. I do still have a handful of tickets if you would like to come along. Live Music from the UKs No1 Elton John Tribute Act with live band and special guests ... and yep I’m still trying to persuade Martin to bring his guitar! (Free lunch works for me nip! Ed) More details can be found via my website www.michaelkurn.com. It promises to be a great night raising money for five local amazing causes. (Okay I give in... you got me :) Ed) Well here's to another cracking few months thanks again for picking up an AND Guide.

For more Summer Ball information or to book tickets visit: www.themkfoundation.co.uk info@kurnandkurn.com Twitter @michaelkurn

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Russell Cook

BOOKS red & rit When the new Culture Secretary John Whittingdale recently announced that the Government was to launch a fundamental review of the BBC most rational thinking people who are of an age to realise that the BBC is a vital and tremendously important part of life as we know it would have paused and taken a sharp intake of breath.

The beloved BBC, distinguished by the slow spinning world globe that dovetails many generations is at threat, its future to be decided by a committee of politicians who wouldn’t know a Strictly from a Bake off or where the borough of Walford is.

Coincidentally there are a couple of rather good books out at the moment focussing on the rather cantankerous and stressful life of the current BBC. In GETTING OUT ALIVE: NEWS, SPORT AND POLITICS AT THE BBC

(BITEBACK £20) Roger Mosey who was a senior figure within the Corporation for over twenty years ,writes intelligently and passionately about its successes and how the 2012 Olympics success was immediately overshadowed by the Jim’ll Fix It scandal.

What Mosey does explain well without wanting to rock the boat is that the BBC is riddled with bureaucracy and layers of management who really have no connection with the real world. Charlotte Higgins in THIS NEW NOISE (GUARDIAN/FABER £12.99) is much more reflective historically, however, her opinions get a little misty eyed and defensive if the BBC, by definition should be tampered with in any way by those that rule us and call the shots and certainly, Lord Reith and the helicon days of Lime Grove are long gone. What becomes clear is that institutions cannot live in the past, times change, we all watch TV but not by the TV set these days. In many ways the BBC is outdated but its core broadcasting values are essential. Cull the red tape, trim the bureaucratic focus groups, and let the BBC give power to the programme makers again. The end result may be leaner but good old Auntie can survive without

the gristle. There is life in the World globe yet.

Now on BBC 1, sorry, and now in the July/ August book column a trip into the bizarre world of Blotto and Twinks, yes you did read right, Blotto and Twinks, the brother and sister duo that seem to face even more hair raising and highly improbable situations with each new adventure. In BLOTTO, TWINKS AND THE HEIR TO THE TSAR (CONSTABLE £19.99) they face an unexpected surplus of distant cousins at the family home of Tawcester Towers and they are Russian to boot! Clever Twinks and her rather intellectually impaired brother Blotto must devise a plan to get them back to Russia which causes quite a few problems as they become mixed up in a world of conspiracies and red herrings redder than a slice of steak tartare. This is author Simon Brett’s sixth foray into 1920’s culture or should I say caricature as the novel reads like a Wodehouse novel on an illegal high. This is no bad thing; the characters despite

the obvious pastiches stand out on the page and drive the improbable story forward at a breathless pace, not even time for tea, crumpets and a stroll onto the croquet lawn.

Well watered of course.

To the opposite end of the spectrum now and after reading Edgar Cantero’s THE SUPERNATURAL ENHANCEMENTS (DEL RAY £8.99) I felt I’d landed on another planet inhabited by the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe and various other gothic manifestations that happen to be inhabiting the atmosphere at any one time. Every so often a novel comes along that defies categorisation. If scares before bedtime press the right buttons, look no further, if a mystery gets the fingers turning the pages then this book is a definite.

Definitely a strong combination, involving deliciously eccentric characters, a rather unusual quest, and a narrative that doesn’t stick to the usual conventions that are expected from the printed page. Step forward diary entries, transcripts the odd letter or two and you’ve got

surprises galore in the 368 pages. A modern day adventure for everyone.

As I write this the Ashes are in full swing. What A victory in Cardiff! If you are an England fan. What a victory at Lords!! If you are an Australian fan. As of writing only two tests have been played and there is no doubt that at the home of cricket, England’s batsmen looked like particularly startled rabbits who were only too well aware of Mitchells Starc and Johnsons speed as they bowled with a full beam ferocity not seen since a particularly large set of imposing headlights in the St. John’s Wood area were lit up by the National Grid. Thirty years ago when David Gower’s team were in the midst of winning the burnt set of bails former England Captain Mike Brearley published The Art of Captaincy. His leadership triumphs on the cricket field were still fresh in the public consciousness especially Headingly 1981 and his book is an in depth study not just on the learning curves and challenges of becoming a

leader on the cricket field not but crucially, man management. In the ensuing thirty years, it has become almost the Holy Grail of the leadership trail and has been republished for a new generation of potential Captains and leaders and not just in the cricket arena which probably explains the rather snazzy revised title for this new edition. THE ART OF CAPTAINCY: THE PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP IN SPORT AND BUSINESS (PAN MACMILLAN £9.99). In Brearley’s day there was a captain, vice captain and coach. Now a dressing room is overflowing with coaches, mentors and background staff, not to mention the staff to look after and give advice to the aforementioned groups of people. Says it all really. Just read the book, everything will become clear. (And having just had Edgbaston, it looks like the book was read! Result Russ! Ed) Russell’s Blog Brave New World is at www. therewriteman.wordpress.com

empowering the and guide

page 11

CLOWNING AROUND russell cook IN CONVERSATION WITH DOM JOLY Dom Joly is a man of many faces. He has spent the past fifteen years in many ways behind a Joly mask. Trigger Happy TV made him famous and despite what he has done since that monumental TV series is for what he is best known. However there is a lot more to the man behind the large “I’m on the phone!” mobile and his recently published memoir “Here Comes the Clown” gives an insight into the highs and sometimes rather embarrassing lows of the Scary Monster that is showbiz.

Recently just before entertaining an audience at the Discovery Centre in Winchester with his tales of his life in front of the camera he found time for an audience with me and I was keen to find how it had all started…

“It was a rather roundabout route”, remembers Dom “although I don’t go into detail in the book because I personally get really bored when reading autobiographies of people talking about their lives before they were famous, even Keith Richards, not interested in his childhood in Deptford, just get on with it!

However, as you ask I have actually had quite an interesting life and at times I feel I’ve lived it the other way round. Most people do stupid stuff in their twenties then get more serious, I on the other hand was very serious in my twenties during my brief career as a diplomat.”

Really? Dom goes on to explain, “at University I studied Arabic and I already spoke French. Someone said that if you speak a lot of languages you could get an internship at the European commission. Being a typical student I had no idea what I wanted to do so I filled a form out and completely forgot about it. After University I was working as a runner at MTV in London making sandwiches thinking to myself “I’m in telly!” I literally get a call when I’m in the kitchen buttering bread and it’s someone from the European delegation in Prague saying that they’ve got my form and that I’d got an internship for nine months actually in Prague! So, even though I knew I wanted to be in telly I stopped buttering bread and went off to be a diplomat. I was one of only nine with Diplomatic Immunity and this was just straight after the Velvet Revolution in late 1989 which saw the overthrowing of the communist regime at the time so all in all a very interesting early career move! When I did come back to London and because I had this on my CV I got a job at ITN where I did a few years of vaguely serious journalism which I enjoyed as I’m a bit of a political anorak!”

You enjoyed it but you got fired at ITN? “Yes!” laughs Dom and as if

knowing what I was about to ask “I thought at the time that the public were crying out for someone to kick a football into David Mellor’s face so when ITN were interviewing him I arranged for some friends of mine to have a kickabout directly behind him on College Green. I also mentioned how great it would be to liven up the interview if somehow it was interrupted. Mid interview, the football came flying over and okay, it did hurt him, he hadn’t done anything to me personally but I just felt he was the sort of person who deserved it. Weirdly just as this book was published, the story of him abusing cab drivers came out I felt justified for my joke all those years ago!”

From being fired at ITN Dom’s memoir charts his stumble through various jobs in the showbiz world of television until Trigger Happy was commissioned by Channel 4. This now iconic TV series is due to be revived by Channel 4 in the very near future…. “Sorry, I can’t talk about that!” smiles Dom. “When do you start filming?” “Next week, but I can’t talk about it”. “Are you sure?”

He is.

The success of the hidden camera show opened the tempting doors of the entertainment world to Dom and after two series; a couple of Christmas specials and various other projects, his time at Channel 4 came to an end when Dom got a call from the BBC and he soon found himself having lunch at the River Café sitting opposite Alan Yentob. He was eventually offered a three series deal that like a tempting Garden of Eden apple was too hard not to take a large bite of.

However not all apples taste that sweet and Dom did find his time at the BBC restricting. His spoof chat show, This is Dom Joly was not a success as real life and reality became blurred when he portrayed an egotistical media power weight who coincidentally had the same name as him. Another show World Shut Your Mouth about hidden camera pranks being performed in different countries got buried in the schedules by unsympathetic BBC bosses and despite good audience reaction it marked the end of Dom’s time at the Corporation.

“I knew my time was up at the BBC when my pass wouldn’t work at the main gates, I was locked out.

This rather echoes my actual first day there when I’d reversed into another car and then probably due to first day nerves gave the driver a mouthful only to find out the recipient of my abuse was the Head of Light Entertainment! That sick feeling that immediately arrived in my stomach never went away!” Dom is thoughtful for a moment “after my issues at the BBC I had the slight worry that I was a control freak and maybe I shouldn’t work with other people but I now realise that I am a control freak and that it doesn’t really matter, it doesn’t mean you are a horrible person; you become a horri-

ble person when you do shows you hate, you hate yourself and everything around you.”

Surely Dom had control on the recent prime time ITV Saturday night show Fool Britannia which ran for two series between 2012 and 2013? “If you have kids then you want a prime time Saturday slot and about 6.30pm is perfect to get the kids off the iPads and all watch one show together as a family. Fool Britannia should and would have done that, there were some great characters and I was happy with what we did until it came to the edit. I edit everything I do but they wouldn’t let me!” says Dom with a passion before continuing in the same vein “they then decided to put a laughter track on the finished programme. I couldn’t believe that as the story is that the laughter tracks

ance in the 2010 series of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!, where he went head to head with diet Guru GillianMcKeith. (“didn’t she become famous for examining peoples shit?” remembers Dom with a knowing smile) the narrative shines with his love of travel. Over the years he has travelled widely with pieces appearing in the press and his first travel book The Dark Tourist about holidays in the unlikeliest of destinations such as North Korea and Chernobyl was highly praised. However there is one story that really stands out in the book which happened during the filming of a show he did called Happy Hour a documentary series about investigating the various cultural attitudes to alcohol “or to put it another way” jests Dom, “ going around the world getting pissed!”

“I’d reversed into another car and then probably due to first day nerves gave the driver a mouthful only to find out the recipient of my abuse was the Head of Light Entertainment!” are decades old so my programmes were being laughed at by dead people! It also says from a programme makers point of view how they value an audience, “You’re so stupid that we will tell you when to laugh” It became so cheesy especially by the second series that I didn’t want to do the show anymore despite ITV saying that they had taken my ideas “on board”. “ Dom must have some ideas as to why people in TV behave the way they do. “Simple!” he answers quickly. “The people in charge now don’t have any confidence in their audience and before most of the bosses would have made telly in the past, therefore respecting the fact that you are a programme maker and give you time to breathe. Now shows are given one series; poor ratings and you are off. There are exceptions though, Harry Hill with TV Burp was allowed to find its feet and it took a while before it worked and then it was brilliant. The thing about ratings especially with ITV is that the suits are so paranoid about the stats that they will not let creative people go with their gut feelings, it has to be a committee decision and one thing is for certain, comedy will be killed by committee.”

So undoubtedly when Trigger Happy TV comes back Dom will have full artistic and editorial control? “Sorry, I can’t talk about that!” smiles Dom. “When do you start filming?” “Next week, but I can’t talk about it”. “Are you sure?” He is.

Here Comes the Clown is a colourful read and despite the fact that he is best known for Trigger Happy TV and arguably his appear-

“We were in Miami and we drove from there to Mississippi Alabama and whilst we were in Jackson for some reason, the police took us under their wing. They took us out and gave us a tour and we ended up at a roadblock set up where the police were breathalysing people just for the cameras. In fact”, Dom reflects, “I felt a bit guilty as there wouldn’t have been a road block if it wasn’t for us. Then the Chief of Police who was like Sheriff Rosco from The Dukes of Hazzard said “Do you want to come into the prison?”

I’d never been into a prison before but we were told that there was no

way we could film in there but if we wanted they would show us prison life. So, Sam (the cameraman) and I went in. We were until that moment two people used to laughing at stuff and finding fun in every situation but it was absolutely the most terrifying place on any level that I have ever been into. From the moment you walked in you realised that if we had been in there as prisoners we would not have survived a second, the place was full of hardened people so tough as were the guards to deal with it all. We had to walk down a corridor in the middle of the rows of cells so we couldn’t be grabbed by anyone in any of the cells. There was one guy who was on solitary suicide watch. He sat in a straitjacket and also had his mouth covered by some sort of material that didn’t seem to stop him foaming at the mouth and staring at us with a pair of eyes that were wild in the extreme sense of the word. He made Hannibal Lecter look positively cuddly! It was truly terrifying. There was a feeling of total desperation and an atmosphere of tension and danger. To add to all this” reflects a rather more serious Mr. Joly “we were taken into this large isolated room and the Sheriff got all these kids out of the cells and they were wearing either red or yellow. These kids were about thirteen years old and it turned out that the ones wearing red had killed. I will never forget that and when we came out there were no jokes this time”.

Our time was nearly up, Dom was due to entertain his expectant audience but there was just time for one more question. Trigger Happy TV, Channel 4 soon? “Sorry, I can’t talk about that!” smiles Dom. “When do you start filming?” “Next week, but I can’t talk about it”. “Are you sure?”

He is.

Here Comes the Clown: A Stumble Through Showbusiness is published

by Simon & Schuster £18.99

AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2015

MOLE & RATTY

THE MUSIC BIZ according to Barry Upton

Walter Otter

why can’t all pubs be like this?

Much has occurred since our last report. After meeting the editor's deadline by the whiskers on Ratty's cheek, Ratty and Mole packed their holiday bags. Next morning Mole was expecting a taxi to the airport. Duly at five thirty a taxi arrived in South Stoneham and Mole gave Ratty her stern look. “Dee insisted on sending Eric,” Ratty smiled “and said she would be having a lie in ...”

Secretly and not trying to show it Mole was over the moon to see Eric, she bounced out the door an gave him a big hug and Eric stored their cases in the boot of the car. Ratty clambered in the back after Mole. “What?” said Ratty as their taxi sped off. Mole gave him that knowing look and nudged him.

Flying out of Southampton Airport might be a tad more expensive than Heathrow but they'd be in Dublin in about an hour. The Irish adventures would fill several And Guides so Ratty will cut it short just to say that his brownie points with Mole were off the richter scale fulfilling as he did Mole's wish list. A visit to a historical place, some shopping, music with Guinness. The ruined churches, cathedral and castles of Clonmacnoise on the Shannon River filled the first. Galways vibrant city filled the rest and it was only the first day. Then they trailed down to the Dingle Peninsula and County Clare through bars and music and times that topped it off nicely.

Once back in Southampton they settled down to finding

music again in small pubs, little unheard of niches like the gig they went to in the Vine at Bursledon. It was their kind of Saturday night. Washboard Dave, Nice Dave, harmonica, Little Dave, guitar and vocals and Trev, guitar and vocals were all in the band led by Newport Bob harmonica, guitar and vocals. That's the legendary Newport Inn at Braishfield where Ratty and Mole spent many a night before the pub closed.

The Vine at Bursledon is a tucked away little pub far from the madding crowd but popular none the less. This was the first music session there, the pub was heaving like every pub should be on Saturday night.

And unlike many a pub that empties soon after the punters have eaten the pub stayed heaving till the landlord reluctantly called time.

The band plays Americana and rock and roll standards, just good time music with and for the audience. And the audience loved and lapped it up. It's that mix of Irish blended with rockabilly and blues that delivers the killer punch. You can dance to it, you drink beer to it and hear yourself talk to the bloke or Mole next to you.

There was much Stray Cat strutting, Deep River, Sugar Baby and San Francisco Bay Blues, the old Irish standard Tell Me Ma, and Van's Brown Eyed Girl One of the highlights of a very fine evening was Little Dave's rendition of House of the Rising Sun using lyric cards akin to Bob Dylan's famous take to encourage the audience to sing along. It went down a storm.

Mole turning to Ratty said “Why can't all pubs be like this?”

Ratty ;)

Barry Upton Our resident pop guru Barry is a multi international hit songwriter/producer/performer. Initially a front singer with chart toppers Brotherhood Of Man before working with a multitude of household names inc’ Sonia (above), he was also creator of the lovable pop outfit STEPS, penning their massive hit 5678.

Barry is also a former co-host with our Editor Martin of the AND Magazine Show on Radio Hampshire and currently a TV & radio presenter and producer in Thailand. AND of course he’s still performing!

Organic or Fake?

Musicians and music lovers usually fall into two groups.

Those who like to hear the organic sound of real instruments played by quality highly trained slaves to their chosen instrument or voice, OR those who couldn’t give a damn how the track they’re listening to was made, so long as it makes them feel good.

Technology has helped so many talented and, sometimes, talent challenged ‘performers’ to have successful hit records in a highly competitive marketplace, that there is always a debate about the level of scandalousness that has allowed machines to take over the human element of an audio delight.

It’s a bit like breasts.

Untampered natural ones can be a wonderful thing if pleasing on the eye and touch. However, to many the surgically enhanced item(s) can also be just as asthetically pleasing and, although maybe not having the feel of a pair of uninterfered originals, the overall visual experience is one that will appeal favourably to the discerning recipient. Is that clear enough? Ponder for a while… and carry on (Still pondering mate… Ed).

As our beloved editor knows, I am a big fan of sixties and seventies music where almost all instruments and voices were organic and natural.

Suddenly, along came technology in the shape of firstly, guitar effects, then synthesisation, followed by studio trickery including vocal autotune and finally beat and musical sequence generation. The advancement of technological breakthroughs to make it easier for the novice to produce a polished final master recording is something that now has to be accepted.

So, is it wrong for an electronically enhanced piece of music to exist?

I am guilty, your honour, of using every trick I can get hold of to enhance my productions because, although as I earlier stated, I value and love the sounds that I grew up with from a few decades back (A few? Cough … Ed), I am a realist who knows that to compete in today’s market, with a very few exceptions, your finished master recording must be A1 smooth as silk with not a hair out of place.

For me, the beauty of a raw early Beatles disc was the simplicity of the basic band topped off with energetic and enthusiastic

vocals, natural and inventive harmonies. Together with extremely well written songs that can sound just as good played and sung acoustically with not even a guitar amp to enhance the finished result.

However, I am just as taken with a modern processed pop masterpiece such as the type Maroon 5 produce which sound so good on the radio.

Vocal autotuning is lambasted by some but we have all been singing along to processed voices for a long time now. I was first aware of perfect pitch tuning on Shania Twain’s massive world wide hits with producer Mutt Lange’s highly autotuned backing vocals providing an important ingredient to the overall sound. My thoughts at that time were that if a top hit making ‘rock’ producer like Mutt Lange who had just produced world best sellers for Brian Adams, Def Leppard and AC/DC was using technology to enhance a great pop record, then so shall I … instantly installing all the electronic toys I could muster into my studio. Hits followed as a result.

The challenge for any music producer is how far to take it.

Mark Taylor and Brian Rawling who produced ‘Believe’ by Cher in ‘98 took autotuning to the max by setting the amount to 100% in part, but in doing so, made a record that hit the number one spot for many weeks.

Now it can be quite common to hear an obviously tuned voice, many times for arty effect.

Nowadays, in the same way that many top producers do, I like to keep as much of an organic sound as possible but use the latest computer technology techniques to push a few notes into exactly the right place or take a great vocal performance that might be a bit ‘pitchy’ and smooth out the nasty bits.

This does not mean, however, that anyone can sound good. A fair modicum of talent is needed in the first place. I can make a good singer or player sound great but I cannot make a poor performance sound good. So please, do not fool yourself that just because you can sound OK on a Karaoke system, then pop stardom is for you and the guy behind the mixing desk can make you sound as fabulous as Lady GaGa or Bruno Mars.

Before all this technology came along, I would spend hours and hours with a singer (and some very famous ones at that) perfecting a line for performance, diction and correct pitching. Now a lot of this frustrating time has been saved because, so long as you have a fairly near perfect take with a charismatic performance, the smoothing out process can be achieved in post-production.

The END RESULT is all that matters. That is what will be heard on the radio, hopefully spurring the discerning listener to become a fan.

BUT... there is still nothing better than a live, organic, original sounding performance to stir the loins (And full circle back to your aesthetically pleasing uninterfered originals then Barry. Ed).

empowering the and guide

page 13

NEWS

Travel Guide

WE’RE IN THE TOP 200!

Great news – Travel Counsellors has been named in The Sunday Times HSBC International Track 200! This accolade recognises Britain’s private companies with the fastest-growing international sales, and I am so proud to be part of a company that has grown because our customers trust the independent, expert, personalised travel advice that we provide. Being part of an international company means I benefit from global deals, local knowledge and have 24/7 support from our overseas offices, which is something me and my customers really appreciate.

with Lucy McNeil of Travel Counsellors

Welcome to The AND Guide’s travel page. Each issue I attempt to bring you news, features and travel guides to the latest hot (and cold) spots around the world. I’ve been a travel nut for years now and I love talking about holidays. My job is to spend time creating perfect holidays for clients.

I’m open to suggestions so if you want to find out more about somewhere let me know and I’ll try to make it a feature.

A RUBBISHY OLD VIEW FROM THE CORNER SHOP

DON’T GIVE UP ON TUNISIA The incredibly sad events of the Tunisian beach massacre affected everyone I know even if it was just the feeling of sheer shock at the fact that someone could specifically target British holiday makers enjoying a welldeserved rest on the beach. But I think we need to look at the bigger picture and see that Tunisia will once again be a great place to spend a summer holiday, it just might be a few years away. There are many holiday destinations that are popular now that weren’t even thinkable 10, 20 or 30 years ago. Take Croatia for example this country was in major turmoil in the 80’s and 90’s due to war and economic depression. Nowadays Dubrovnik, the beautiful city on the North Dalmatian coast is one of the most popular up and coming destinations of 2015. Then there’s New York which saw visitor numbers down by around 40% after the events of 11th September 2001 which has risen back uo the ranks is amongst the top 3 cities to visit around the world. So for the sake of the Tunisian nationals don’t give up and hopefully one day it’ll be safe to travel to again.

YES THE WATER REALLY IS THIS BLUE!

SIMPLY STUNNING COUNTRY - MORE LIKE 5 COUNTRIES IN ONE. BUT A GREAT CHANCE TO SHOW YOU MY HOLIDAY SNAPS. ED

APPROACHING THE FRANZ JOSEF GLACIER

AND I want to do a shout out for GREECE! (Ed) I recently went on a last minute low budget holiday to Corfu. I’d never been there before, knew nothing of the place but was prepared for hordes of Union Jack shorts, Ted’s Cafe’s and booze parties. Instead I found an absolutely beautiful, tranquil island, full of the most hospitable friendly people. One of the best holiday’s I’ve ever had, in one of the nicest hotels I’ve ever stayed at: THEOS HOTEL owned and run Theo and Elena (pic page 3), ably assisted by truly lovely staff.

They are all of course a bit concerned about events at the moment, which is why I thought I’d give them a plug. (What’s the use of having a paper if you can’t indulge yourself?)

Just trust me, fantastic and cheap. Pack your shorts and just go. My Thanks to them all for week of paradise! www.theoshotel.com

US WITH THE LOVELY OLGA OF THEOS HOTEL, CORFU...

... & AT OUR FAVE BAR WITH OWNERS JIMMY & HELEN

ARCHIE AND JACK AT THE LUGE , QUEENSTOWN

new zealand New Zealand – the pie capital of the world, apparently … no I didn’t know that either. I visited the South Island about 9 years ago and this fact eluded me however, our Editor Martin went a couple of months ago and assures me this is the case! (Yep even McDonalds do them. Ed) Anyways less about pies and more about the most amazing place on the planet ... well I think so and so does Martin!

We had friends who moved to NZ so it was a great excuse to go not once but twice in the space of 6 months and the scenery, the people, the way of life was enough to make my hubby and I consider moving there. We didn’t in the end because strangely enough it was just a bit too quiet for us. For a holiday of a life time though this is your place.

The list of activities you can do is endless so I’m just going to mention a few of mine and Ed’s favourites but as usual if you want to know more just give me a shout!

Let’s start with the best way to get around! My Mother-in-Law is a massive fan of NZ and she described it perfectly when she said that the country is so user friendly for visitors – especially us Brits. They drive on the same side of the road as us which helps (even I managed to drive in NZ and that is saying something!) So I would recommend hiring a camper van. They come in many different forms from ‘billy-basic’ to ‘totally-rad’. A mid-price camper van will probably set you back

around £850 for a week in high season. NZ also allows you to pull off the road You can’t visit New Zealand’s South Island without going Whale watching. The relatively calm waters of Kaikoura on the NE coast offer a year round home to the Giant Sperm Whale, and a typical boat trip usually May also encounters New Zealand Fur Seals, pods of Dusky Dolphins and the endangered Wandering Albatross.

Depending on the season you may also see migrating Humpback Whales, Pilot Whales, Blue Whales and Southern Right Whales. A 2.5 hour trip costs approx.. £60pp.

Moving down onto the West Coast of the South Island you will find the most amazing and unbelievably cool glacier Franz Josef. The day we climbed the glacier I was a bit unsure as to what I was getting myself into especially when I put the soggy boots on that had been worn a hun-

it! Ed)) the jaw dropping beauty and sheer awesomeness that meets you when you stop at the top of the mountain to take your breath!

(Although I think you may be getting the idea!

(I’ve put a picture in... relax.))

An hour South and you find yourself in the adrenalin-junkie heaven that is Queenstown. Most things that go on here involve ropes, bridges, rafts and beer (And pies!)! We went white water rafting and I have never had so much fun in a life jacket and helmet ever! It’s scary, brilliant and totally sick inducing but I’d do it again in a heartbeat! Of course you can do lots of activities that don’t involve water and perhaps require more air such as bungee jumping, luuging and sky-diving, the choice is yours. Or of course you could just sample a delicious lamb shank washed down with a glass of bone dry Sauvignon Blanc ... that sounds much more my thing!

I’d never experienced anything like the scenery dred times and were wet through. I soon changed my tune when I walked to the bottom of the glacier and was faced with THE most stunning sight (one of many on our trip). I’d never experienced anything like the scenery I saw that day … quite literally it was like something out of the ice age! (Er it is something out of the Ice Age Lucy. Ed) A Glacier walk costs approx. £140pp.

The second time we went to NZ we went in July so it was winter out there, which meant only one thing for us … skiing! We took a road trip and drove down to Wanaka where we hired a fabulous house which overlooked the Lake. We spent many an evening lounging in the hot tub after a long day’s skiing! The ski area nearby is called Cardrona and yet again the scenery blew me away. I can’t really put it into words (which is unfortunate as this is a travel journal! (Beat me to

So if you like what you read, get in touch, I can put together bespoke itineraries that fit your time and budget constraints and ensure you have a trip of a lifetime!

Call me today on 01489 858270 or e-mail me on lucy.mcneil@travelcounsellors.com

JUST A LITTLE PROOF FOR LUCY OF A MCDONALDS PIE, AND HOW ABOUT THIS FOR A TOILET? YEP WALLPAPER! ED

UPCOMING EVENTS: August 1st: Pure Classics: Chad Jackson + Paul Brady

REAR OF: 28 VICTORIA RD, WOOLSTON SO19 9DX

August 14th: Southampton Plugged In sponsored by THE AND GUIDE

(BEHIND ‘WEARABOUTS MENS CLOTHING’)

August 21st: The Spirit of Luther Vandross feat. Fil Straughan + DJ Paul Mico

2 HRS FREE PARKING Woodley Rd Car Park SO19 9DW

August 22nd: Steve Harris British Lion Wednesday/Thursday 10am - 5pm Friday/Saturday 10am - 6pm

Tel: 07751 683 766 • www.back-tracks.co.uk

September 14th: Open Mic UK Auditions September 18th: Cezary Pazura Range of latest USB retro players in stock

September 19th: Kirk Fletcher + Backwater Roll Blues September 26th: State Champs + Knuckle Puck + Roam October 16th: MUSED + Broken Links + Glass Foundations October 26th: Riverside + The Sixxis + Lion Shepherd November 7th: Champagne Soul: A Night of Soul & Jazz Funk November 8th: Grubson November 19th: Ghostpoet November 20th: Dr. Feelgood December 2nd: The Story So Far December 12th: SINATRA

empowering the and guide

page 15

LOCALLY CONNECTED RELEASES Paul Ridge First up this issue is the rather unique Feryl, a pop artist originally hailing from London but now living in sunny Southampton. He's been bubbling under on the pop scene for a few years now, opening for the likes of Alexandra Burke, Peter Andre, Cascada, and Toyah Wilcox among others, playing gigs across Europe along the way.

First up this issue is the rather unique Feryl, a pop artist originally hailing from London but now living in sunny Southampton. He's been bubbling under on the pop scene for a few years now, opening for the likes of Alexandra Burke, Peter Andre, Cascada, and Toyah Wilcox among others, playing gigs across Europe along the way.

Feryl himself admits he's been trying to find his own place in the popworld and with this new release he feels he's ready to take it to .. well, The Next Level.

The music is a mix of synthpop and Eurobeat which is aimed squarely at the far-eastern markets of Korea and Japan, with considerable backing from media giants Universal to be the first western artist to break into those territories with a sound tailored specifically for them.

The website www.ferylmusic.com is tri-lingual, reflecting this novel approach to music-making in the 21st century.

Feryl has teamed up with Southampton producer and writer Jojo F of Mutant Lab Studios to create the album and one of the most noticeable things about The Next Level is the sound itself in that it is beautifully crafted without ever feeling "over-produced". Some studios can't help but put their tell-tale signatures all over their output, but Jojo and Feryl have done a brilliant job of keeping it polished, but transparently so.

Another unusual aspect of the record is that it's been partly paid for by its audience ahead of release, with recording and manufacture covered in advance by a kind of crowd-sourcing known as a pledge music fund, with those original backers receiving a hard copy of the album in return. In addition, 10% of all profits will also go directly to the Elton John AIDS Foundation.

Not normally a fan of straight pop music, I was suprised how much I liked the album itself, which at times reminded me of The Human League and other 80s artists, yet it's not really retro at all. The result sounds very much like a modern pop album but without so much of the auto-tune overkill that seems to flood the market today.

Without further ado, here's the review :

FERYL The Next Level ALBUM REVIEW All I Wanna Do - Heavyweight atmospheric opener with a velcrocatchy refrain "All I wanna do is eat, all I wanna do is eat, memories I can't delete, what am I gonna do ?"

This sounds like a euphorically cheerful Depeche Mode from a parallel universe. Immediately, the production values are evident with this track, which is beautifully put together. Flawless pop.

Super Model - Much lighter, Eurobeat stylings on this mid-tempo dancefloor number, I can see this being played in clubs from Ibiza to Inverness, Southend to Seoul.

Better Days - Opening with an Eminem-style stacatto rap before bursting into a dreamy chorus, this another sing-a-long in the car number. The lyrics throughout the album are fairly simple, reflecting both the nature of pop itself and the international audience it's aimed at. While I doubt the average Korean or Spanish pop fan could follow the spoken words to begin with, most of the hooks are singable enough to translate across the planet.

Sangria - This, joyfully, is an homage to everyone's favourite holiday tipple, and every bit as much a love song as any other. With strong synth lines and a proper EDM beat, this will be a floorfiller.

Red Hot - This has the touch of Timberlake about it, what with the steady build-up of the verses to the catchy chorus, the minirap midway through the song and the "Make me scream!" lines.

631 - along with the opening All I Wanna Do, this is perhaps the strongest track on the album.

Opening with a chunky synth bassline accompanied by a plinky melody on top, the vocals are strong and there's sparing use of a flanger to give it that "spacey" feel, while the tune chugs along, building up to the uber-catchy "It's all too much" refrain. The lyrics are almost breathed out, rather than sung, in a style reminiscent of George Michael on Faith, when he sings "Well, I guess it would be nice" ... in fact, there's a flavour of George in his electro-disco mood very evident here.

Tha Sweat - and we're back in Ibiza. It's 4am and you're still dancing. I don't know much about K-Pop, but I know dance-pop when I hear it and Feryl's bang on the money with both this song and the entire album. This is one of those rare tunes that kids will love and dads will want to dance to ...

10fUs - A more solemn subject this time round, as this number takes in that classic "love breaks down" moment and turns it into a moody, multi-layered synth ballad. Time to get the lighters out, everyone ! www.ferylmusic.com

smaller, more intimate venue. Jones himself is an excellent player with a modest style which only serves to endear him to you even more.

Always with a smile on his face, he plucks and strums steadily throughout, occasionally bursting into life when the music gets rockier or more funky. He holds the band together in many ways, though the rock solid duo of James Highley (drums) and Daniel Martin (bass) and the others all play their part.

Forleigh himself is a bit of an enigma. A brilliant showman with an unusual voice and a unique stage presence, part of me couldn't help wonder if he'd spread himself too thin when I first investigated the music available on the website, www.forleigh.com. There are ten different headings, each with up to half a dozen tracks to listen to. As I said before, there's lots of different flavours to Forleigh and though that's admirable in terms of showcasing an artist's abilities, it's also a dangerous game to play when it comes to selling yourself to a record label.

But, having seen him live, I doubt if that'll be a problem ...

FORLEIGH

FORLEIGH The Joiners LIVE REVIEW There's a link between the two main artists in this issue and it's that man Jojo F. Forleigh himself is a Southamptonbased singer-songwriter originally from Ghana and he's teamed up with Jojo to produce an impressive array of tunes ranging from classic acoustic ballads, through indie pop, rock, RnB and even dance music.

There's a strong sense that Forleigh does not want to be pinned down, pigeon-holed or in any way held back and having witnessed the man live on stage I can certainly see why.

It's been a long time since I saw a local artist with the confidence and assurity of Forleigh.

There's a strong and rather unusual band behind him, reinforcing the image that he likes to do things differently: aside from the usual guitar/bass/drums, there's a keyboard player, a female backing singer and two violinists. The latter trio are used sparingly but are very effective when called into play, but equally you can imagine Forleigh and guitarist Benny Jones carrying the whole set as a duo if they were in a

At first, the set seemed a bit disjointed, with lots of stop-start-stop bits and pieces peppered throughout the opening numbers, and I wondered what they were trying to do exactly. There were strong echoes of prog rock if anything, with Yes and Rush making use of that staccato style down the years. Yet, the music didn't really reflect that: the breathy one moment, shouty the next vocal stylings of Forleigh need a moment or two before you tune in and start to feel it.

The Joiners was packed: it was a Friday night and there were a lot of fans in as the band were about to head to the US for a tour, so it would be the last chance to see them for a while.

This definitely helped as there was a lot of love in the room, especially for Benny, who has a loyal and boisterous following.

As the gig went on, the cohesion grew between the band, the songs and the audience and it progressed throughout stand-out tracks like Skinnydipping, New and Summer Time, which should be Forleigh's first single release, presumably when they return from their American tour. By the end of the set, the crowd were fully revved-up and before leaving the stage, the band started up an impromptu reprise of one of their most popular numbers,

starting slap bang on the chorus, almost like an action-replay of a goal after a football match has ended.

Forleigh is a singular talent and I can see him going all the way, especially if he carries on touring on the other side of the Atlantic. He may need to play it cute with the labels and allow himself to be "marketed" a little bit, but he's too good to be held back and people need to see this guy one way or the other.

PETE HARRIS LIVE REVIEW I caught The Pete Harris All Stars a month or two ago one night at The Shooting Star on Bevois Valley Road and was blown away by their rousing sound as they worked their way through the blues song book.

With horns, keys, female vocals and the usual blues band line-up of guitar, bass and drums, the All Stars were magnificent, showcasing such classics as Hound Dog - in the original Big Mama Thornton style, of course - and Elmore James' The Sky Is Crying. There was plenty of banter, a bit of background on a few of the songs and a real feel good atmosphere in evidence that night and a good time was had by one and all.

The next time I saw them was in another And Guide favourite, The Platform Tavern, where there was a much smaller line-up, playing an acoustic blues set, but they were equally effective, downsizing their sound to suit a more compact venue.

We will be running a full feature on them soon, but in the meantime get out and see one of the hardest working bands in the south as soon as you can. You can check out their schedule at www.peteharrisblues.com

PETE HARRIS ALL STARS

NOTICE If you think your band might be worth covering, head on over to our Facebook page:

www.facebook.com/theandguide and say “hello� and give us the details of your next gig, album, website, etc and we'll see what we can do.

SCWARZENAGER said “I’ll be back” and he is ... on another Harley Fat Boy

GIVEN PAUL’S REVIEW OF ARNIE’S NEW TERMINATOR I THOUGHT WE’D TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO TALK ABOUT THE OTHER STAR IN THE EARLY TERMINATOR MOVIES, NAMELY HARLEY-DAVIDSON’S FAT BOY. AN OPPORTUNITY TOO TO INVOLVE MY OLD MATE AND MOTORCYCLE GURU TONY LONG TO KICK OFF A REGULAR BIKE COLUMN. AS HARLEY SO OFTEN PUT IT IN THEIR ADVERTISING... “NO EXCUSES, NO FRILLS JUST GOOD OLD SELF INDULGENCE. ED. (AND DAUBUS ROTIS? ... THATS CULTURE IN IT)

(well Briefly).

Tony Long

That oft quoted promise of Arnie, in Terminator guise, made me grin as I watched the trailer for ‘Terminator Genisys’ when a much older Arnie gives the line before stepping out of a helicopter. Well, that’s just bread and butter activity for a reliable Terminator. I gave a bigger chuckle when Arnie produced a caricature of a smile with Sarah Conner stating that she’d

been trying to teach him to blend in … that’s never going to happen.

It’s hard to imagine the time travelling android without a bike. I know he’s not on two wheels for the entirety of the movies, but the scenes where he’s riding a HarleyDavidson Fat Boy in the second movie are classic. The jump down into the open drainage system is placed alongside McQueen’s jump

over the wire in The Great Escape as an iconic bike scene.

The H-D Fat Boy wasn’t actually a very popular model before it featured in the film, for some reason it just didn’t catch people’s attention.

Once it was up on the silver screen, different story, I remember reports that sales were so high bikes were on back order.

As for the clothes and boots, well

they already held iconic status. The slant-zipped black leather jacket has been synonymous with bike riding for decades and Engineer boots were hugely popular in the States before they found their way over here and I don’t mean those fashion items, I mean tough, steel toe capped, boots that will stand up to a Terminator jumping up and down on them.

duabus rotis

I’m certain the bike would have been just as popular without the movie link … not all models are snatched up at first, but the bike is a delight to ride and that’s what customers are after.

For me, the riding position was perfect from my first ride. Saddle comfortable enough for a ride across the country, handlebars that pulled back to where my hands naturally fell and those footboards rather than pegs, provided not just comfortable footing but space to move the feet around on that long haul. I put in more miles on other Fat Boys and always found the ride relaxing as well as comfortable It came as a shock to realise that there’s 24 years between the Harley ridden in Terminator 2 (now parked in H-D’s Milwaukee museum) and the 2015 model, especially when the bikes don’t look that different. But that’s one of the major appeals of HarleyDavidson - the heritage and pride of the company shows in the bikes.

With no rear suspension on display the new Fat Boy looks like a rigid, that’s because H-D’s ‘Softails’ have the suspension under the frame for the simple lines of an ‘old skool’ bike. Same goes for the front forks and fat wheels, they are up to date but reminiscent of the 1950s and 60s models; I could provide pages of reasons why riders want that look, but the simpler reason is … it looks right. No offence to fans of four cylinder bikes, but that 1690cc fuel injected Big Twin motor makes a distinctive music that pleases my ears.

Which brings me back to Terminator 2, the soundtracks of that film received as much attention as the images … but the Fat Boy’s slow rumble still stands out for me.

empowering the and guide

TERMINATOR GENISYS The latest attempt at rebooting the Terminator series, Genisys picks up from T2, completely ignoring the two more recent movies. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, Jai Courtney and Jason Clarke.

Time travel. A hot topic in Hollywood with a slew of recent movies focusing on the infinite possibilities and limitless parallel universes created by a billion different decisions, changes in direction and beats of a butterfly’s wings …

Project Almanac examined in detail a handful of scenarios as a bunch of teenagers tried to rectify their own mistakes when dabbling with their recent real life disappointments.

The Time Traveler’s Wife centred more on the emotional effects on a relationship and how time itself impacts on love.

Predestination wove a fascinating web of intrigue and kept the audience guessing through the length of the movie, ultimately revealing a truly shocking but inspired twist to end all twists at its conclusion.

Hot Tub Time Machine was pure slapstick, allowing the viewer to suspend reality for an hour and a half and imagine what it would be like to play with time …

SO, WHAT OF TERMINATOR GENISYS ?

Well, from a script point of view, the movie is pure gobbledygook. Do not watch TG hoping for well-balanced, plausible Wellsian analysis or insight. Whenever the subject comes up – for the most part, early in the movie, thankfully – it’s best just to put your fingers in your ears and go “lalalalalalalalalalalala” until the next explosion.

If you attempt to follow any of the actual timeline premises you’ll tie yourself in knots. All you need to know is this: 1. There’s a time machine 2. John Connor’s gonna use it 3. He’s sending his best soldier back to protect his mother 4. The past has changed That’s it. Now sit back and enjoy the ride.

Once the initial set-up is out of the way, we discover that the previously vulnerable Sarah Connor – a mild, timid waitress in the original version – is now a ballsy, switchedon Tank-Girl-on-steroids. Played fittingly enough by Game Of Thrones‘ Daenerys herself, Emilia Clarke, she’s already a few steps ahead of her would-be protector, Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) in that she knows what was supposed to have happened thanks to her existing guardian, “Pops” – or Arnie, as we like to call him. Having been by her side ever since her parents were killed while she was still a small child, the T-800 has been looking out for her ever since.

From hereon in, the story gets ever more twisted and convoluted, borrowing heavily from Terminator 2 in that there’s not one, but two shape-shifting later models shadowing Sarah, hunting her down while the hapless “old, but not obsolete” Pops and the human, Reese, attempt to keep her safe.

There’s another jump in time, a

lot of waiting around for Pops in the meantime – which he puts to good use building a bunker stocked with a massive arsenal – and then we’re on to the home strait with the aim being – as ever – to put an end to Skynet’s dastardly plan to take over the world and rid it of all humanity once and for all.

SO FAR, SO SHLOCKY. In truth, this is a distinctly average action caper. As you might expect, there’s some superb CGI work, especially during a fight between two versions of the T-800 early on – lots of set pieces, a decent car/bus chase across the Golden Gate Bridge and loads of bonkers tech stuff for the nerds and of course the obligatory appearance of Arnie on his Harley-Davidson.

There is one saving grace, albeit a fairly small one: the humour in the script.

The tension between Reese and Pops is more than palpable – it’s writ large for the most part and as the former’s closeness with Sarah ramps up through their various mutual scrapes, the latter becomes ever more distrustful. The light relief comes not only in the dialogue between the three of them, both as a group but also in one-on-ones, but also because Connor has been training her pet Terminator to “blend in” over the years.

His attempts at an ingratiating smile are hilarious and sees Arnie playing up his comic potential for the first time since Twins.

Schwarzenegger also gets some killer one-liners.

Of course, some of them are obvious – the “greatest hits” from the first two movies – but there’s a number of others that are genuine laugh-out-loud moments, which is surprising given the overall earnest feel of this picture.

All in all, Terminator Genisys is a watchable popcorn flick, but nothing more. It’s no better than T3, slightly better than Salvation, but nowhere near – not even in the same league – as either the superb original or its flawlessly superior sequel.

INSIDE OUT (U) Pixar return with a highly original adventure through the mind of an 11-year old, featuring the voices of Amy Poehler, Phyllis Smith and Mindy Kaling.

The Beatles have got a lot to answer for. Not only did they help shape the latter half of the twentieth century.

Not only did they change the cultural landscape of the world forever.

Not only did they rattle the cages of world leaders. They also influenced animation in ways that only now are revealing themselves.

Following on from the excellent Spongebob movie earlier in the year, we have Pixar’s triumphant return to form, Inside Out. Can you tell that I loved it yet ?

Never before have I seen so much surrealist mainstream animation as in 2015, and so much of it is down to the epic Yellow Submarine …

On the surface, Inside Out looks like a quirky family movie centred on the minds of a small all-American family: mom, dad and daughter, Riley. The trailer reveals the inner-

page 17

most workings of all three as they discuss their day around the dinner table. The mother is trying to foster unity and engender a loving and supportive home, the child is surly and unresponsive after a difficult day at school, while dad .. well, he’s drifted off and is currently thinking about football.

It’s a telling insight into the minds of the trio and we see what’s actually happening in the heads of all three as we’re introduced – rather bluntly – to the emotions that control each and every one of us : joy, sadness, anger, fear and disgust.

And yet the film is less about the family and really all about Riley.

Brought up in beautiful, seasonal Minnesota, she’s jolted by a move to California and suddenly finds herself in an unwelcoming and empty new house, at a brand new school in a completely different state, and what’s more her hormones are starting to kick in and everything’s different and changing and she just can’t keep up with what’s going on, she misses her friends, she can’t play hockey anymore, it’s all getting out of hand, and something’s got to give.

And so it begins … the rollercoaster ride through Riley’s mind, as seen through her five principle emotions.

We get to see how memories are stored and filed.

We get to meet her imaginary friend, Bing Bong. We discover how we lose certain episodes of our lives over time. We see the bonds that bind us to family, friends, our interests and, in effect, all the little influences that shape our very own personalities. We see them crumble.

We see them build again. In short, we see a hell of a lot of that little girl’s mind.

The vast majority of the movie takes place inside Riley’s head.

By that, I don’t mean it’s from her point of view directly. It’s more about what makes her tick. What happens behind the scenes. How we’re wired. Why we think and react the way we do.

It’s a crazy, beautiful, soaring, diving, wayward, complex journey, some of it familiar, some of it completely new, some of it endearing, some of it utterly horrifying. There are moments of sheer terror and others of serene calm.

The imagination, thought and creativity that’s gone into this film is .. well, mind-blowing is the only word to describe it because it’s the most apt word possible.

There are genuinely heart-breaking scenes where I defy anyone not to well up and throughout the entire picture I found myself being dragged back through my own childhood, reflecting on some of the things that I experienced growing up.

ONE WORD OF WARNING THOUGH It may be too emotional for the very young, so I wouldn’t recommend taking kids under the age of about seven along to see this.

Also, if I have one slight criticism it’s that we don’t see much more inside the minds of adults till the – admittedly hilarious – end credits, which do hint very strongly at a sequel.

Having said all that, it’s a wonderful family film and will be a big Christmas Day TV hit a couple of years from now. But don’t wait that long … you owe it to yourself and those around you to see it before then.

Film Reviews Paul Ridge

SHIRLEY’S PREMIER ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE

95 Shirley High Street, Southampton SO16 4EX

Tel: 02380 512994

LIVE @ The Windsor Castle august friday 14th - Soul Munky saturday 15th - Ivan J, Southampton's Soul legend and the Landlady's birthday!

Sunday 16th (3-6pm) - Steve johncovering all your favourites from the Beatles to Bob Marley Friday 21st - Savage Brickwork Saturday 22nd - Johnny King aka Elvis covering three eras of the king!

Friday 28th - karaoke sing a long

Saturday 29th - dj Wozza. Floor fillers and whatever you ask for BH Monday 31 - TOAST, featuring Beau Dinnage

September Saturday 5th - Tandem. covering the Beatles, everly brothers and moody blues Saturday 12th - 3's a crowd. Cover duo Friday 18th - Soulcatchers. 9 piece band, soulful tunes Friday 25th - RU 40. Covering the hits of this truly British reggae band. not to be missed Saturday 26th - Resident DJ Wozza. Playing for your pleasure

empowering the and guide

page 19

Celluloid muses by our resident flick producer

Breaking through...

ROSALIND FOUNTAIN HAS A QUICK CHAT WITH NEW TALENT ON THE SCENE

Chris Barfoot

Your brain really IS faster than you think: It takes just 13 milliseconds to see an image

NATURAL BORN KILLERS

there are many many reported crimes dedicated to this movie alone… here are a few… (through Wikipedia) In September 1994, a 14-yearold boy from Dallas, Texas, decapitated a 13-year-old classmate at a Dallas middle school.

When asked why he did this, he allegedly said it was because he “wanted to be famous. Like the Natural Born Killers.”

In October 1994, 17-year-old

Nathan Martinez from Bluffdale, Utah, shot and killed his stepmother and 10-year-old half-sister while they slept.

In January 1995, after allegedly watching the movie 19 times, a gang of four people in their twenties killed a truck driver and made their getaway in his rig.

On March 5, 1995, in Senoia, Georgia, 15-year-old Jason Lewis shot and killed his parents after allegedly deciding he wanted to emulate Mickey and Mallory.

Lewis was on the telephone talking to a friend discussing how he was planning to kill his mother and father and leave for the road, when he suddenly announced, “I’m going to do it.” According to the friend, as he listened on the phone, he heard Lewis shooting his parents. He grabbed his father’s 12-gauge shotgun, and shot his mother, sitting in a recliner watching television. The shot didn’t kill her, and as she screamed, he fired again, hitting his father, lying on a nearby couch.

A third shot to his mother’s face killed her, and a fourth shot to his father’s forehead killed him.

According to Lewis’ friend, Lewis

then calmly returned to the phone and announced “I did it. It’s done.” It was subsequently discovered that Lewis was one of four young boys who planned to kill their parents, and embark on a cross country killing spree similar to that seen in the film. All four boys were arrested. During interrogation, when asked why he did it, Lewis told investigators that it was because his parents had imposed a midnight curfew on him.

In Avon, Massachusetts, in June 1995, two men, ages 18 and 20, killed a physically handicapped 65-year-old man by stabbing him 27 times with a Bowie knife whilst he lay sleeping in his bed.

The attack was so ferocious that both of the man’s wrists were broken due to the force of the attacks, and his body was split open from clavicle to spine. After the murder, the ringleader bragged to his girlfriend about the murder. When she expressed horror at his actions, he asked her “Haven’t you ever seen Natural Born Killers before?”.

During the interrogation, one of the murderers told police “We know what we did was bad, but we didn’t know this guy so we weren’t going to cry about it.”

So... how can this be used in a commercial sense?

Certainly experiments with subliminal advertising promotions have proven massively successful through the art of planting suggestion. The human brain processes information at a rate of eleven trillion bits per second! We don’t understand how or even why... we haven’t processed that ‘bit’ yet.

Today’s consumers are tempted and teased into purchasing products through a plethora of advertising trickery or smoke and mirrors but by far the most effective possible potential fictional way-out example is the ‘blipvert’ idea from the Eighties TV hit ‘Max Headroom’. The masses - in this vision of post-apocalyptic autocratic big brother 1984’esque society is a futuristic misery unparalleled (as yet) where humanity is guided or controlled through messages subliminally broadcast during commercials...

We view television in the UK at twenty-five frames per second one removes a frame and

This edition: Southampton singer Sorcha Rose Pick five of your favourite songs.

Listen, When You Believe, I'd Rather Go Blind, Somewhere Over The Rainbow, and Sam Smith's Lay Me Down.

If you had to choose a career other than singing, what would it be?

I studied Graphic Communication at University, so I'd like to use my graphics within the music industry and work in branding, including designing CD covers.

replaces it with an image that the eye misses but the brain engages with... For example - they show you a peanut... next thing you know, you’re craving peanuts... and really importantly - who the hell are they???

We live in a world where governments have admitted to testing airborne chemicals upon an unsuspecting public, they also reduce our freedoms to better control the human herd and so, with planetary overpopulation, unprecedented massive migration and corporations overriding political ‘ethic’ it isn’t beyond the realms of sensible thinking - or technological ability or declining morality that the herd may soon be targeted - not for a culling but for TOTALLY controlling.

Historically, religion was a fantastically effective tool for aligning the populace - but the decline of ‘fear of God’ belief systems are leading to a slide in morality but worse for the powers that beinfluence is slipping between the finger-cracks of the stranglehold fist of oppression. Civilisation, order, law- must be maintained... at all cost. So how now?

Eventually humanity will be chipped - technologically encoded and accounted for - enslaved... but before that can be incorporated - there are fifty years of no mans land...

Blipverts are coming... you don’t like cabbage? You will if ‘they’ tell you that you do... it’s coming... we will become a brainwashed damaged race of morons and gimps. Even when today’s idiots watch television soaps they believe what they see... ha... wait till the psych control really gets going. Hell, Pete Burns could end up PM or anything... run, run for the hills (wait - that’s Iron Maiden) if this doesn’t spin you round, baby right round like a record... nothing will...

(Ummm... very interesting, been burning the candle at both ends have we Chris? Ed) chris@chrisbarfoot.com

Do you have any hobbies?

Zumba, cookery - particularly baking, reading, and walking my dog in the countryside.

Is your musical talent inherited?

Did you grow up in Southampton?

Yes. I attended Halterworth Primary School, St Anne's Girls Catholic School Secondary school and then Peter Symonds college.

When did you start to sing and perform?

I've been singing since I was five and I’m twenty one years old now. My sister and I used to write musicals to perform to family, and we put on Christmas concerts every year. I started having singing lessons aged eleven, and was in school and college choirs.

Do you play any instruments?

I studied oboe to Grade 8, and play flute and violin, and have always been part of an orchestra.

Where do you perform?

I sing at many functions, weddings, anniversaries and parties. I won Battle of the Bands in my second year at Peter Symonds, and have performed at the Mayflower Theatre.

Which singers do you admire and what style of songs do you sing?

I sing a mix of ballads, soul, R&B and some pop. I'm influenced by a wide range of vocalists - Beyonce, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Etta James, Ella Fitzgerald, Eva Cassidy.

PHOTO: DAVID MENCE

Movies are kind of like dreams- except we experience them with our conscious mind... what the subconscious mind simultaneously experiences is unknown- some folk believe onscreen violence triggers the desire in some to commit murder... personally, I have been Han Solo, Mad Max and Superman ...

Rosalind Fountain

Yes, I come from a very musical family, including my sisters who are both singers. My family is Irish, so when we go to Ireland, my sisters and I often perform and sing there, whenever we have the opportunity.

Tell us a few interesting facts about yourself.

I am passionate about music and put 100% into all I do. I love meeting and mixing with new people. I am my own worst critic and am often too hard on myself. Performance-wise, I once played the lead role (Scaramouche) in a stage school production of "We Will Rock You". A performance highlight for me was being part of a show raising funds for Teenage Cancer research.

Do you have any local gigs coming up?

I will be performing a set at The Talking Heads on August 4th. And I've just been invited to sing at Southampton's premier music festival - Music in the City - on October 3rd. I'm hoping that with hard work and dedication my singing career will really begin to grow this year. www.sorcharose.co.uk

The AND Guide to: Finding a GREAT BREAKFAST! Apparrently our most talked about feature! Which makes me wonder if I should sack everybody? This started as a moan. Me whinging about not knowing more than a couple of decent places to get a decent breakfast... at breakfast time!

In time I hope to include everywhere locally that serves a decent breakfast. But if you’re not here my apologies, its down to one of 5 things. Everywhere on this list is open before 9am, it’s a cake, you didn’t tell me, I don’t know about you, I don’t think its any good, I forgot, or you won’t give me a free breakfast (research) Ed :)

pageand 21 july june

To make sure you’re in the next one email me at:

theandguide@mail.com

SOUTHAMPTON OZZY CAFE Harley Davidson, Heritage House, Second Avenue Southampton SO15 0LP THE SPITFIRE 130-132 Above Bar Street, Southampton SO14 7DU Tel: 02380 225 464

METTRICKS 117 HIGH ST, (BELOW BAR TO MY GENERTATION) SOUTHAMPTON SO14 2AA 02380 710583 THESE GUYS ARE NEW TO BREAKFASTS BUT JUST AS PASSIONATE ABOUT THEM AS THEY ARE ABOUT TEA AND COFFEE. YEP... JUST ASK THEM ABOUT BEANS AND SIT DOWN! ALL FRESH INGREDIENTS FROM OWTON’S BUTCHERS’ AND OTHER LOCAL SUPPLIERS.

KATE'S CAFE LOUNGE 227 Portswood Road, Southampton SO15 2NF 023 8058 1872 JACKPOT CAFE Portswood Road, Southampton SO17 2TD 023 8032 2079 BEAN COFFEE BAR 21 Commercial Road, Southampton SO15 1GF 44 23 8178 4219 IKEA West Quay Road, Southampton SO15 1GY METTRICKS High Street, Southampton SO14 2AA 02380 710583 SIDEWALK SOUTH 24 High Street, Southampton SO14 2DF 02380222323 BOULANGERIE VICTOR HUGO 50 High Street, Southampton SO142NS 02380 632744 HIGH STREET CAFE 153 High Street, Southampton SO14 2BT 023 8023 6767 CAFFEXPRESSO Nelson Gate, Frobisher House, Southampton SO15 1GX 023 8023 8181 THE ADMIRAL SIR LUCIUS CURTIS Canutes Pavilion, City Centre, Southampton SO14 3JS 023 8038 8940 CAFFE MOMENTO Unit 2 Guildhall Square, Southampton SO14 7FP 023 8023 3717 THE SQUARE ARTISAN CAFÉ 157-187 Above Bar Street, Southampton SO14 7NN 023 8031 9007 WHITE STAR TAVERN, Oxford Street Southampton SO14 3DJ0 023 8082 1990 CAFE VALETTA 421 Millbrook Rd W’st, Southampton SO15 0HX (Opposite Goals) www.cafevalettasouthampton.com CAFE CREME 31 Bedford Place, Southampton SO15 2DG 023 8023 6616 HALLADAYS TEA ROOMS 6 Bedford Place, Southampton SO15 2DB 023 8078 6921 THE RETRO DINER 281 Shirley Road, Southampton SO153HT 023 8078 6921 CAFE REFLECTIONS 25 Shirley High Street, Southampton SO15 3NL 023 8077 8878

GEORGE'S CAFE & RESTAURANT 9 Church Street, Shirley, Southampton SO15 5LG SAINSBURYS SHIRLEY 1 Redcar Street, Southampton SO15 5LL SAINSBURY'S PORTSWOOD 224 Portswood Road, Southampton SO17 2LB THE YELLOW WELLY Shamrock Quay, SO14 5QL 023 8022 3535 THE COFFEE ROOM Raymond Road, Southampton NELLY’S TEAPOT 1 Bridge Way, Woolston SO19 7GP CHEVY’S CAFE 26A Hazel Road, Woolston SO19 7GA ANNIES CAFE 14 Portsmouth Road, Woolston SO19 9AA 023 8042 1200 PIGGYS 26 Victoria Road, Woolston SO19 9DX 023 8178 2059 CHALK VALLEY 37 London Road, Southampton SO15 2AD 02380 517114 THE DINER 6 Market Buildings, Stoneham Lane, Swaythling Southampton SO16 2NL CENTRAL COFFEE Central Hall, St Mary Street, Southampton SO14 1NF

EASTLEIGH & NORTH

THE CROMWELL ARMS PUB & HOTEL Mainstone, Romsey SO51 8HG 01794 519515

DJ’S DINER 5 High St, Eastleigh SO50 5LB 023 8061 4217 CHANDLERS FORD GOLF ACADEMY, Chestnut Avenue, Eastleigh, SO5O 9PF 023 8061 4111

NICOLA'S TEA SHOP 8 Latimer Street, Romsey SO51 8DG 01794 523009

FOOD FOR THOUGHT 455 Fairoak Road, Fair Oak, Eastleigh SO50 7AJ 023 8069 2400

NICE NOSH 50 Rumbridge Street, Totton SO40 9DS 023 8087 0242

THE COFFEE CORNER Boyatt Shopping Centre, Eastleigh SO50 4QP 023 8061 4654

THE PILGRIM INN Hythe Road, Southampton SO40 4WU 023 8086 7752

THE WAGON WORKS 28 Southampton Road, Eastleigh SO50 9F 023 8062 2670

DAISY’S CAFE Merriemeade Parade, Dibden Purlieu

WEST

CAFE PARISIAN 64 High St, Lyndhurst SO43 7BJ 023 8028 4546

ASDA Bournemouth Road, Eastleigh SO53 3YJ

THE NAVIGATOR 286 Bridge Road, Lower Swanwick SO31 7EB 01489 572123 BONNE-BOUCHE High Street, Hamble-le-Rice SO31 4HA 023 8045 5771 THE FLYING BOAT CAFE Ensign Way, Hamble SO31 4RF THE BUS STOP CAFE Hound Farm Hound Road, Netley Abbey SO31 5FS TESCO Hamble Lane, Bursledon, Southampton SO31 8GN STEPHY'S CAFE Unit 8, Shedfield Nursery & Equestrian, Botley Road, Shedfield SO32 2HN LILLY'S TEA & COFFEE HOUSE The Square, Wickham, Fareham PO17 5JQ 01329 830305

EAST

WESTLANDS FARM SHOP Westlands Farm, Pricketts Hill, Shedfield SO32 2JW 01329 833832

ROMSEY

JOSIES'S 6-8 High Street, Bishops Waltham SO32 1AA 01489 899075

FABULOUS BAKERS Whiteley Shopping, Whiteley, Fareham PO15 7PD 01489 564 445

CAFE FRESH 9 Market Place Romsey SO51 8NB 01794 522602

COFFEE HOUSE High street, Bishops Waltham SO32 1AA 01489 896990

FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD 164a Southampton Road, Fareham, PO14 4PP 01489 589056

THAT LITTLE TEA SHOP 48a The Hundred, Romsey SO51 8BX 01794 519852

THE BOAT HOUSE CAFE Swanwick Marina, Swanwick SO31 1ZL 01489 885745

CONCORDE CLUB, Stoneham Lane, Eastleigh SO50 9HQ 023 8061 3989

PITSTOP... NEWS & FOOD MASSIVE CHOICE OF SANDWICHES, ROLLS & BAGUETTES MADE FRESH ON THE PREMISES DAILY

• DELIVERY OR COLLECTION • PULLOVER SPACE FOR LARGE VEHICLES BELVIDERE ROAD, SOUTHAMPTON, SO14 5RB TEL: 023 8063 2514

•

“WE STOCK THE AND GUIDE ON ALL OUR VANS!”

A local with a difference!

WHAT’S WHAT’S ON ON IN IN AUGUST AUGUST SUN SUN 2ND 2ND BLUES BLUES AT AT CAMBRIDGE CAMBRIDGE CREEK CREEK JAM JAM SESSION SESSION FRI DAVID FRI 7TH 7TH DAVID KNOWING KNOWING AND AND THE THE KING KING PIGS PIGS REGGAE REGGAE ROCK ROCK FRI FRI 14TH 14TH FREE'S FREE'S CO CO -- FREE FREE AND AND BAD BAD COMPANY COMPANY TRIBUTE TRIBUTE FRI FRI 21ST 21ST CHICAGO CHICAGO 99 FRI CASTLETOWN FRI 28 28 CASTLETOWN -- ACOUSTIC ACOUSTIC ROCK ROCK WHAT’S WHAT’S ON ON IN IN SEPTEMBER SEPTEMBER FRI FRI 4TH 4TH SUNFLOWER SUNFLOWER -- ECLECTIC ECLECTIC SMOOTH SMOOTH JAZZ/ROCK/BLUES JAZZ/ROCK/BLUES SUN SUN 6TH 6TH BLUES BLUES CURBRIDGE CURBRIDGE CREEK CREEK FRI FRI 11TH 11TH SNAKE SNAKE OIL OIL -- TEX TEX MEX MEX FRI FRI 18TH 18TH D'SKA D'SKA ASSASSINS ASSASSINS FRI FRI 25TH 25TH THE THE PICK PICK UPS UPS FRI FRI 2ND 2ND OCTOBER OCTOBER DOCTOR DOCTOR BLU BLU DON’T DON’T MISS MISS IN IN OCTOBER OCTOBER WED WED 7TH 7TH PS_PERRYSTONE PS_PERRYSTONE HILL HILL -- STUNNING STUNNING GUITAR/SAX GUITAR/SAX TRIO TRIO

Real Ales • Great Food • Live Music Fantastic food, locally sourced - gluten free available.

Large riverside garden - the highest navigable point on the Hamble River at high tide. Live events and quiz nights.

Botley Road, Curbridge, Southampton SO30 2HB Telephone: 01489 796654 www.thehorseandjockeycurbridge.co.uk Email: horseandjockeybotley@gmail.com

ITS ADVERTISING JIM. .

BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT!

3 months in the others or a year in here?

You do the maths.

If you like The AND Guide, please support it.

If you own or manage a company that recognises a great deal when they see one and/or want to be part of an opportunity to help me bang a drum for Southampton ... take an ad.

In the same way that I hope you find The AND Guide refreshingly different to other publications, it is also very different with advertising rates.

A simple philosophy. Daftly competitive for one advert, but stupidly cheap if you take more. How? TAKE ONE ADVERT ... PAY WHAT’S ON THE RATE CARD

TAKE 2 ADVERTS & GET ANOTHER FREE!

+

FREE

TAKE 3 ADVERTS & GET 3 MORE FREE! ... YES REALLY!

+ THE BLUETONES FREE

FREE

FREE

AND THE COST IS SPLIT ACROSS THE TERM. That's a year's advertising for the cost of just 3 adverts!

For a 1/4 page, that works out at a tiny £87.50 per month.

AND you also get a link to your website from our digital online version ... ENTIRELY FREE! Diary Banner: £225 • 1/8th Page £200 1/4 Page £350 • 1/2 Page £600 • Full Page £950

AND the really good news is that where most other local publications are destined for the recycling bin after a flick through, The AND Guide is kept and referred to for the full 2 months. Why? Because we have the most comprehensive Diary of What's On in the region. You don't throw a TV guide away on a Tuesday do you?

Personally I've never understood the point of advertising in something no one wants to read or only flicks through once, at any price.

Have you?

If you'd like full advertising details please email me, Martin at:

theandguide@mail.com

INDIE HEROES 20TH ANNIVERSARY UK TOUR Pyramids 23 SEPTEMBER 2015 The Bluetones make a welcome return to the live forum with their first tour in four years.

The band, which were a huge part of the Brit Pop era, were always an engaging and dynamic live outfit. Fronted by the enigmatic Mark Morriss, they had an impressive run of hit singles that included ’Bluetonic’, ‘Slight Return’, ‘Marblehead Johnson’, ‘Solomon Bites The Worm’, ‘If’ and ‘Keep the Fires Burning’. Their live shows brought the West London four-piece an army of devoted followers worldwide.

The band's members are Mark Morriss on vocals, Adam Devlin on guitar, Scott Morriss on bass guitar, and Eds Chesters on drums. The band scored thirteen Top 40 singles and three Top 10 albums in the UK charts.

Glastonbury, Top Of The Pops, The Bluetones did the lot and toured with everyone from Radiohead to Bruce Hornsby & The Range.

Finally, after playing more than 10,000 shows in more than 73 countries, they're back for more.

The Bluetones are promising a sensational set of shows this Autumn as they plunder their incredible body of work one more time, playing their most popular songs. If you miss them this time, it may be a lifetime before you get another chance.

Booking: 0844 576 3000

empowering the and guide

page 23

The AND Guide Diary: The most comprehensive listings in the South!

LEGEND MUSIC

AUGUST SATURDAY 1ST

SPORT

VICTORIA C/P Vicky Park Family Festival / Park Walk ART Hamble Heritage Month FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail COMEDY MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers SHOWS CONCORDE Rufus Stone NIGHTCLUBS THE BROOK JUST CHILDREN Ultimate Elton & The Rocket Band THE JOINERS ANTIQUES & FAYRES The Smokin Prophets MARKETS & CAR BOOTS THE PLATFORM Tim Paynes platform posse OTHER EVENTS BERRY THEATRE Masterclass with Ben Musgrave THE POINT PLEASE NOTE. We have tried to ensure Strictly Dance entries are correct, but If we’ve got the odd Contemporary Dance for Older Adults one wrong, sorry... The AND Guide cannot PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH accept any responsibility for inaccuracies.

Family Fun Day Some require tickets in advance. We advise telephoning the appropriate venue beforehand KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Joan Armatrading on all occasions.

GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Gin Festival SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Ed Tudor Pole & Nudybronque CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ SIMPLY DISPLAY OUR FRONT For Services Rendered COVER in a PROMINENT POSITION AGEAS BOWL, H'END Boyzone & Family Festival at your venue. Send us a pic to YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ prove it and dada... you’re in!

Dr Rock MOTTISFONT ABBEY As long as you keep the poster up, Adventures with Charlie & Lola & Friends we’ll include your listing.

SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter How fair is that?

SOTON COMMON Park Run & Adventure Boot Camp (Don’t forget to send us your listings though - simply pointing us to the website THE BARGATE, SOTON Street Food & Market won’t guarantee inclusion. It’s often very time consuming extracting it for our use.) JANE AUSTEN IN SOTON STGA Guided Walks Southampton Hidden History EMAIL US AT: THE LANGLEY TAVERN, SOTON The Langley Festival The AND GUIDE DIARY is RODDINGTON FORGE Longshot supported by: BREWERY BAR, BOTLEY LEXUS HEDGE END Brewfest 3 Tel: 01489 664384 1865, SOTON www.hedgeend.lexus.co.uk Pure Classics WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, P' Kate Voegele ++ LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour

FREE ENTRY in the AND Diary!

theandguide@mail.com

THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Family Bush Craft Day EASTLEIGH FC Barnet – H AFC TOTTON Salisbury FC - A

HARBOUR LIGHTS The Breakfast Club LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour

SUNDAY 2ND

VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail Wild Explorers MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys BERRY THEATRE Across The Dark Water THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Mousetrap KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Dreamboats & Miniskirts CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour NEW FOREST CENTRE Family Discovery Day THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Kids Summer Activties LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective

VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month /Cemetery Walk ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Three River Cruise MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers CONCORDE Westside Syncopators THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Gin Festival CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered THE SWAN, WOOLSTON The Business SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour BOLDERWOOD Rock Up and Explore HORSE & JOCKEY, CURB’ Blues @ Curbridge Creek MONDAY 3RD VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail The Mizar Travelling Planetarium MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers THE HOBBIT Lucas Raye THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Mousetrap KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Dreamboats & Miniskirts CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter

TUESDAY 4TH

WEDNESDAY 5TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month Carlos Nunez ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail / Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail Wild Explorers CONCORDE Dutch Swing College Band THE JOINERS Tigers Jaw & Foxing MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys THE POINT Strictly Dance

Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Mousetrap KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Dreamboats & Miniskirts CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, P’ Crowns & Theives ++ THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ Winchester Folk Club HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Climb A Tree LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Kids Summer Activties LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective THURSDAY 6TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail / Cressheads Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail Nuts About Nature MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers CONCORDE Chat with Matt Le Tissier THE BROOK The Tubes MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults Loserville BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Mousetrap KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Dreamboats & Miniskirts CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered FERNHAM HALL, FAREHAM Wickham Festival THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Seussical SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping

TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON Stinky Saxons & Vicious Viking WICKHAM, HANTS Wickham Festival LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour NEW FOREST CENTRE Family Discovery Day THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Kids Summer Activties LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective FRIDAY 7TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers CONCORDE Dave Lewin Trio The All New Jersey Boys MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys METTRICKS, SOTON SugarSmoke THE PLATFORM Grizzly & The Grasshoppers THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults Loserville BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink Alan Carr PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Mousetrap / Abba Arrival UK KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Dreamboats & Miniskirts CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered FERNHAM HALL, FAREHAM Wickham Festival THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ Musical Mash Up THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Seussical THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Colossus SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter

Sheyla Bonnick and the

SOUNDS OF BONEY M Support from ABBA tribute band GIMME GIMME GIMME

THURSDAY 27 AUGUST

Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

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w w w. t h e c o n c o r d e c l u b . c o m

ELKIE BROOKS FRIDAY 25 SEPTEMBER Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Butterfly Family Day THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Rob Casey – Album Launch LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective HORSE & JOCKEY, CURB’ David Knowing & The King Pigs SATURDAY 8TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers CONCORDE Danny Foster & The Big Soul Corporation THE BROOK Roy Hemmings Motown Show TALKING HEADS, SOTON Reason MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys THE PLATFORM Pete Leigh & The Union THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults Loserville BIC, B'MOUTH Alan Carr / Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Mousetrap Summer Youth Theatre 2015 KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Dreamboats & Miniskirts GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Royao Marines School of Music SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE The Tale of the Princess Kaguya Live Lunch: Appalachia CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered FERNHAM HALL, FAREHAM Wickham Festival THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Seussical YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ Funky Nomad THE SWAN, WOOLSTON The Urbs SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ Close Up Festival 2015 THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Daisy Chapman LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective SAINTS FC Newcastle – A AFC B'MOUTH Aston Villa – H PORTSMOUTH FC Dag & Red – H EASTLEIGH FC Southport – A

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

AFC TOTTON Taunton Town - A SUNDAY 9TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers CONCORDE Cuff Billets New Europa Jazz Band TALKING HEADS, SOTON Mighty Mosh – local showcase THE JOINERS Red Jumpsuit Apparatus MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH Summer Youth theatre 2015 That'll Be The Day GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Mimika Theatre: Landscapes Funky Town 2 CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered FERNHAM HALL, FAREHAM Wickham Festival SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON Tour & Tea HARBOUR LIGHTS Glyndebourne LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour BOLDERWOOD Rock Up and Explore LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective MONDAY 10TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail

BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Full Day Cruise – IOW MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys THE PLATFORM Latemouth Blake THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink

Te l : 0 2 3 8 0 6 1 3 9 8 9

PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH Summer Youth theatre 2015 That'll Be The Day / Avenue Q GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Family Summer Sports Week CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective TUESDAY 11TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Full Day Cruise – IOW MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers TALKING HEADS, SOTON Mighty Mosh – local showcase MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH Summer Youth theatre 2015 That'll Be The Day / Avenue Q GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Family Summer Sports Week CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON Summer Fairies LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour NEW FOREST CENTRE Family Discovery Day THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Kids Summer Activties LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective EASTLEIGH FC Borehamwood – H AFC TOTTON Wantage Town - H WEDNESDAY 12TH VICTORIA C/P HAMBLE HERITAGE MONTH ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail / Butterfly Clothes peg Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Full Day Cruise – IOW MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers

CONCORDE Kourosh Kanani Quartet MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Afternoon Tea Dance THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH Summer Youth theatre 2015 That'll Be The Day / Avenue Q GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Family Summer Sports Week CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered BURSLEDON WINDMILL Butterflies at Bursledon SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, P The Downing Street Years HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Climb A Tree Outdoor Adventurers Holiday Club THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Maptime Cartography Group LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Kids Summer Activties LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective PORTSMOUTH FC Derby - H THURSDAY 13TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail / Woodland Stories Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail Mini Bioblitz Adult Orienteering Course BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Full Day Cruise – IOW MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers TALKING HEADS, SOTON Head Jam MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH Summer Youth theatre 2015 Avenue Q GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Family Summer Sports Week CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show

w w w. t h e c o n c o r d e c l u b . c o m HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping / Painting Autumn Plants TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON Rampaging Romans THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Crafty Cafe – Papercrafts Greyum May – Mooch LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour NEW FOREST CENTRE Family Discovery Day THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Kids Summer Activties LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective FRIDAY 14TH

1865 - RIVER STUDIOS & THE AND GUIDE PRESENT Southampton Plugged In A night of Comedy & Music presented

by Martin our Editor VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail / Woodland Stories Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail Wild Explorers CONCORDE Dave Lewin Trio Jessie J & Lady Gaga Tributes THE BROOK Bryan Adams Experience TALKING HEADS, SOTON Gary Barlow Tribute THE HOBBIT Myth City MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys THE PLATFORM Blues THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH Summer Youth theatre 2015 Avenue Q GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Family Summer Sports Week The Response CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ Somethin' Else THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Mafia SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show

THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ Chesney Hawkes LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective HORSE & JOCKEY, CURB’ Free & Bad Company Tribute SATURDAY 15TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month Memories of the Great War ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Caribbean Party Cruise MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers CONCORDE The Foundations THE BROOK The Blue Bishops THE JOINERS Teenage BottleRocket MAYFLOWER THEATRE Jersey Boys THE PLATFORM Johnny Boxcars & Soul & Fire THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH Summer Youth theatre 2015 Avenue Q KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA That'll Be The Day CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ Mister Sifter SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show WHITE HORSE, N’ MRSH Sausage & Cider Festival THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ Lip Service HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Felt Making Workshop LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour NEWPARK, N/F Forest Fayre with Steam LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective SAINTS FC Everton – H AFC B'MOUTH Liverpool – A PORTSMOUTH FC Plymouth – A EASTLEIGH FC Lincoln City – H AFC TOTTON Shortwood United - H SUNDAY 16TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month

KINGS COUNTRY BAR & RESTAURANT, Kings Corner, Botley, Southampton, SO30 2HA Tel: 01489 796162 • www.kingscountrybar.co.uk

AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2015

The Marmite Prince Love it or hate it, The Frog and Frigate is an iconic Southampton pub, revered and worshipped in by several generations of Froggers, as Frog customers are affectionately referred to, since 1981.

It’s a place that defies categorisation; neither a typical pub, although it serves real ales, ciders and all the usual indemand elixirs, including a pint of lager and a packet of crisps, nor a night club, despite the weekend partying continuing ‘till 1am. Its recipe for success is firmly rooted in the relaxed and super friendly atmosphere and the unique opportunity to not only sing your beery head off to all the 70’s, 80’s & 90’s tunes, but to do so whilst dancing on the tables!

And so to the Master Of Ceremonies and creator of Frogging (a practice of drinking, loud singing, hand gestures and table-dancing, adopted by all true Froggers) himself, Derek Gardener - aka ‘The Legendary Derek’ or ‘The Frog Prince.’ Born and bred in Southampton, his selftaught vigorous style of guitar playing and fast-paced song delivery has provedto be a hugely popular part of the city’s music scene over the last 33years. And The

Frog is his spiritual home.

Despite gigging at literally hundreds of venues around Southampton and Hampshire throughout this time, and losing count of the number of weddings, significant birthdays and student gigs he’s now played, Derek says he has never been more in his element than at the helm of The Frog and Frigate; ‘It’s a weird, symbiotic relationship,’ he explains, ‘like The Frog has become a part of me, and me of it. Over the years, I seem to have become so closely associated with the place in peoples’ minds, that they, and even I, can’t imagine one without the other.’

Any attempt to sum up the enduring appeal of The Frog and Frigate would, however, be a poor one without factoring in the fundamental role played by the punters; the wave upon wave of faithful Froggers, vintage, maturing and newly pasteurised, who roll up weekend after weekend, bringing wide-eyed newbies with them, to experience what they call ‘a proper night out.’ I’ll leave the last word to them…

“If you’ve never been, stood on the tables, danced, sung along and moshed to an acoustic guitar, waving your arms in the air, then you simply haven’t lived.” Richard Chopper

SOUTHAMPTON’S ORIGINAL SPIT & SAWDUST DANCING ON TABLES & REAL ALE PUB Featuring THE LEGENDARY DEREK ON GUITAR & DJ MICK & HIS PUB CLASSICS!

OPEN THURS 7PM ’TILL LATE & FRIDAY & SATURDAY 7PM - 1AM

‘AUGUST DOUBLE BILLS’ 1st Act 8.30pm 2nd Act 9.45pm FREE ENTRY

THURS 20TH AUG (TBC) Jack Howson & A Gentleman’s Film

Supported by Just Millie, Shoot The Duke & Lilo’s Wall Tickets £5

THURS 27TH AUG Rozii C & Ian Michael Booker & September’s Live Line-up!

THURS 17TH SEPT The Frog @ Frigate Open Mic Night, Hosted by Charley Macaulay

THURS 6TH AUG Sim Williams & Vicky Musslewhite

THURS 3RD SEPT Dan O’Farrell & Dave Miatt

THURS 24TH SEPT The Sweetchunks Band

THURS 13TH AUG Justin Capps & Junkstar Baby

THURS 10TH SEPT Daniel Eagle - Solo EP Launch Event

OCTOBER 1ST Matt Black Is Back!!!

33 Canute Road, Southampton SO14 3FJ • 023 8033 5959 • www.frogandfrigate.co.uk

LEMAR With support from Nya King as Whitney Houston

FRIDAY 9 OCTOBER Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers CONCORDE Bob Dwyer's Bix & Pieces THE PLATFORM David 9 Lunas THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Running Wild MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered AGEAS BOWL, H'END Yellow Vintage Fair THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Lynchpin LAKESIDE RAILWAY Day Out With Teddy SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON EXTREME STUNT SHOW WHITE HORSE, N’ MRSH Sausage & Cider Festival THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ SaraBeth & Glen Mitchell HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Climb A Tree TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON Tour of the City LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour BOLDERWOOD Rock Up and Explore NEWPARK, N/F Forest Fayre with Steam LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective MONDAY 17TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail Family Orienteering Course BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON 80's show Howards Way cruise MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers THE HOBBIT Jack Dale THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults THE POINT Othello BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day / Puttin' on the Ritz CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show HARBOUR LIGHTS Faberge: A Life Of Its Own LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective TUESDAY 18TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Explorers Trail / Wild Explorers THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day / Puttin' on the Ritz CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour NEW FOREST CENTRE Family Discovery Day THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Kids Summer Activties LEPE C/P, HANTS Summer Holiday Nature Detective PORTSMOUTH FC Crawley Town – A EASTLEIGH FC Welling United - A WEDNESDAY 19TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Lunch Cruise MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers

CONCORDE 45th Anniversary of the Concorde NUFFIELD THEATRE A Number THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Michael McIntyre Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day / Puttin' on the Ritz

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CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered BURSLEDON WINDMILL Bake Off SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Climb A Tree LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour AFC TOTTON Larkhall Athletic - A THURSDAY 20TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Nuts About Nature BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Over 50's Summer Special MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers TALKING HEADS, SOTON Jurassic Mark NUFFIELD THEATRE A Number THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Michael McIntyre Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day / Puttin' on the Ritz GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Gordon Giltrap CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping Game Preparation, Cook & Feast Climb A Tree TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON The Blistering Blitz LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour NEW FOREST CENTRE Family Discovery Day THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Kids Summer Activties FRIDAY 21ST VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail Summer Holiday Playscheme MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers CONCORDE Dave Lewin Trio Take That & Robbie Tributes

THE BROOK The Faces Experience THE JOINERS Alesana NUFFIELD THEATRE A Number METTRICKS, SOTON Martyn Crocker/Jack Howson THE PLATFORM Blues, Booze & Bangers Festival Ben Gun & The Junkyard Angels THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Michael McIntyre Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day / Puttin' on the Ritz CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable / Michael Ball Meets Kate MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered THE SWAN, WOOLSTON The Overkills SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show 1865, SOTON Motown & Soul Night TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON Tudor Pirates THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Three Monkeys HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Outdoor Cinema LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour HORSE & JOCKEY, CURB’ Chicago 9 SATURDAY 22ND VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers CONCORDE Abba Rival as Abba TALKING HEADS, SOTON Mighty Mosh – local showcase Mochara THE JOINERS A Wilhelm Scream NUFFIELD THEATRE A Number THE PLATFORM Blues, Booze & Bangers Festival Pete Harris THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Michael McIntyre Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day / Puttin' on the Ritz GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Clocktower Classics It Must Be Madness CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered

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YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ Backwater Roll SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show WHITE HORSE, N’ MRSH Carribean Beach Party 1865, SOTON Steve Harris British Lion HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Family Summers End Picnic BURSLEDON, SOTON Bursledon Regatta LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour LYNDHURST HIGH ST Discover your National Pk Day SAINTS FC Watford – A AFC B'MOUTH West Ham – A PORTSMOUTH FC Morecambe – H EASTLEIGH FC Macclesfield Town – H AFC TOTTON Didcot Town - H SUNDAY 23RD VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Three River Cruise MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers CONCORDE French Quarter All Stars NUFFIELD THEATRE A Number THE PLATFORM Blues, Booze & Bangers Festival Bob Pearce & his band Chicago 9 THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day A Celebration of Neil Diamond CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Davy Jones Locker LAKESIDE RAILWAY Southern Railway Engines Day SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail Stargazing in the Garden LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour BOLDERWOOD Rock Up and Explore MONDAY 24TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers NUFFIELD THEATRE A Number THE PLATFORM Blues, Booze & Bangers Festival JC & Angelina Grimshaw

THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Urine Town SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Family Bushcraft Candlelight Guided Tour LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour

THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ The Pajama Game THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Urine Town SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ Winchester Uke Jam HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Climb A Tree THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Exposure – Film makers HARBOUR LIGHTS RSC Live: Othello LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Kids Summer Activties

TUESDAY 25TH

VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail / Woodland Stories MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Nuts About Nature MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers CONCORDE Boney M & Abba Tribute Band NUFFIELD THEATRE A Number THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day SuperSlam Wrestling The Supreme Queen Concert show CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ The Pajama Game SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON Tudor Heraldic Heads LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour NEW FOREST CENTRE Family Discovery Day THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Kids Summer Activties LEPE C/P Cold War Discovery Day

VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON River Boat Shuffle Party Cruise MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers CONCORDE Olu Shola MAYFLOWER THEATRE Oliver NUFFIELD THEATRE A Number THE PLATFORM Pete G & The Magnetones THE POINT Strictly Dance PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day The Chris & Pui show CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ The Pajama Game YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ Monster THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Gun Locker EXBURY GARDENS Heavenly Hydrangeas Walk & Tea SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour SAINTS FC Norwich City – H AFC B'MOUTH Leicester – H PORTSMOUTH FC Luton – A EASTLEIGH FC Aldershot Town FC - A

FRIDAY 28TH

SUNDAY 30TH

VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail / Woodland Stories MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers CONCORDE Dave Lewin Trio THE BROOK Bog Rolling Stones MAYFLOWER THEATRE Oliver NUFFIELD THEATRE A Number METTRICKS, SOTON Love Street/Stuey Goodeve THE PLATFORM Robbie McIntosh & Andy Grant THE POINT Strictly Dance PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day / Chas & Dave CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered

VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers CONCORDE Solent City Jazzmen MAYFLOWER THEATRE Oliver THE POINT Strictly Dance PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day / Only One Direction CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered AGEAS BOWL, H'END Charity Vintage Fair THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Mighty Fly BURSLEDON WINDMILL Hampshire Harvest SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter

VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail / Woodland Activity Day MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail The Mizar Travelling Planetarium BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Day to Gunwharf MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers TALKING HEADS, SOTON The Solent City Jazzmen NUFFIELD THEATRE A Number THE PLATFORM Blues, Booze & Bangers Festival Arnie, Graham & Rick THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults BIC, B'MOUTH Roller Coast Roller Rink PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered THE PLAZA, ROMSEY Urine Town SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HOGLANDS PK, SOTON Extreme Stunt Show THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ Poetry Platform HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Pond Dipping LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour NEW FOREST CENTRE Family Discovery Day THE OLD FORGE, BEAUL’ Kids Summer Activties WEDNESDAY 26TH VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail / Forest School Art Day Clay Leaf Plaques MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Twilight Safari MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers NUFFIELD THEATRE A Number THE PLATFORM Blues/Folk Jam & Open Mic THE POINT Strictly Dance Contemporary Dance for Older Adults PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered

THURSDAY 27TH

THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ The Pajama Game SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, P’ Ash-Reading/Leeds Festival warm up THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Moving Voices – open mic LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour HORSE & JOCKEY, CURB’ Castletown Acoustic Rock SATURDAY 29TH

TUDOR HOUSE, SOTON Vaults Tour LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour BOLDERWOOD Rock Up and Explore MONDAY 31ST VICTORIA C/P Hamble Heritage Month ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MARWELL ZOO Wild Explorers PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day Beyond the Barricade CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Family Bushcraft LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour EASTLEIGH FC Torquay United – H AFC TOTTON Winchester City - A

SEPTEMBER TUESDAY 1ST ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Accessible Cycling PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HARBOUR LIGHTS RSC Encore – Orthello LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour WEDNESDAY 2ND ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail THE JOINERS The Dear Hunter PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day THE PYRAMIDS, S’SEA Magic 'A Kind of Queen' CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ Winchester Folk Club LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour THURSDAY 3RD ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Accessible Cycling BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Three River Cruise NUFFIELD THEATRE Henry IV THE POINT Patrick Kielty PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day

CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Gardeners Breakfast & Tour HARBOUR LIGHTS NT live: The Beaux Stratagem LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour FRIDAY 4TH ITCHEN VALLEY C/P Summer Trail MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail CONCORDE Dave Lewin Trio / Totally Tina Tribute THE BROOK The ZZ tops TALKING HEADS, SOTON 999+ NUFFIELD THEATRE Henry IV THE PLATFORM Daved Raphael & Nick Hyde PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Gilbert & Sullivan Opera Co: The Mikado SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Family Fiesta CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ Got To Funk SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAYLING ISLAND National Watersports Festival HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Family Bushcraft LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour HORSE & JOCKEY, CURB’ Sunflower SATURDAY 5TH VICTORIA C/P Park Walk MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail THE BROOK Ultimate Eagles TALKING HEADS, SOTON Battle of the Bands Final 2015 NUFFIELD THEATRE Henry IV THE PLATFORM Tim Payne's Platform Posse PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Gilbert & Sullivan: HMS Pinafore CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Mack & Mable MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ For Services Rendered YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ Doghouse LAKESIDE RAILWAY Day Out With Thomas SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAYLING ISLAND National Watersports Festival RODDINGTON FORGE Kansas Kountry HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour PORTSMOUTH FC Accrington Stanley – H EASTLEIGH FC Barrow AFC – A AFC TOTTON Yate Town - H

RHYDIAN THURSDAY 15 OCTOBER Book online: www.theconcordeclub.com Stoneham Lane SUNDAY 6TH VICTORIA C/P Cemetery Walk MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail John Maddocks Jazzmen MAYFLOWER THEATRE Kevin Bridges O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Jasper Carrott PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day The Best of Abba Tribute show PYRAMIDS, S’SEA The Shires BOTLEIGH GRANGE Wedding Fayre THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Legend LAKESIDE RAILWAY Day Out With Thomas SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAYLING ISLAND National Watersports Festival HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour HORSE & JOCKEY, CURB’ Blues @ Curbridge Creek MONDAY 7TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Scenic Solent THE HOBBIT Lucas Raye PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day PYRAMIDS, S’SEA Peace SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour TUESDAY 8TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Accessible Cycling MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Glen Miller Story PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Jethro Tull SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour WEDNESDAY 9TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON Three River Cruise MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Glen Miller Story PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day

Eastleigh SO50 9HQ

ROMSEY C/P Ghost Walk SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour THURSDAY 10TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Accessible Cycling CONCORDE 24 Hours from Tulsa TALKING HEADS, SOTON Head Jam Session / Frank Carducci MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Glen Miller Story NUFFIELD THEATRE Ruby Wax PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE The Picture of Doreen Gray MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Illegal Eagles SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, P Dendera HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour FRIDAY 11TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail TALKING HEADS, SOTON Paramore MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Glen Miller Story THE PLATFORM Hannah Robinson PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day GUILDHALL P'MOUTH An Audience with Gareth Thomas SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Carnage BURSLEDON WINDMILL Willow Sculpture SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Threepenny Bit MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Boat Show LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour HORSE & JOCKEY, CURB’ Snake Oil Tex Mex SATURDAY 12TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail

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BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON 80's Ultimate Experience 4 River Cruise & Lunch THE BROOK Hairforce 5 TALKING HEADS, SOTON Stackridge MAYFLOWER THEATRE The Glen Miller Story THE PLATFORM Dr Blue PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH That'll Be The Day KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Elvis – One Night in Vegas SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM One Night of Queen YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ Bone Idle THE SWAN, WOOLSTON The Soulcatchers BROADLANDS, ROMSEY The Romsey Agriculturale Horse Show EXBURY GARDENS Hervaceous Borders Walk & Tea ROMSEY ABBEY Concert Band & Military Wives Choir SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Southampton Boat Show HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Boat Show LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour SAINTS FC West Bromich Albion – A AFC B'MOUTH Norwich City – A PORTSMOUTH FC Barnet – H EASTLEIGH FC Gateshead - H SUNDAY 13TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON 80's Show Howard's Way Cruise SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM The Chris & Pui Show THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Chicago 9 SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Southampton Boat Show THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ SC4M Festival 2015 HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Boat Show LYNDHURST MAIN C/P New Forest Tour NEW PK FARM, B’HURST New Forest Marathon

w w w. t h e c o n c o r d e c l u b . c o m

MONDAY 14TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla Queen of the Desert THE PLATFORM Strapped for Cash SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Southampton Boat Show HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Boat Show TUESDAY 15TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON 80's Show Howard's Way Cruise MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla Queen of the Desert THE PLATFORM Whateverly Brothers SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Southampton Boat Show HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail EASTLEIGH FC Altrincham - A WEDNESDAY 16TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Accessible Cycling TALKING HEADS, SOTON Between the Buried and Me MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla Queen of the Desert SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Southampton Boat Show HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail

THE BLUETONES Plus special guests The Standard Lamps WEDNESDAY 23 SEPTEMBER

BARENAKED LADIES Plus special guest Colin Hay (from Men at Work) TUESDAY 29 SEPTEMBER

MAGIC 'A KIND OF QUEEN’ FRIDAY 2 OCTOBER

THE SHIRES TUESDAY 6 OCTOBER

PEACE WEDNESDAY 7 OCTOBER

HOT CHIP WEDNESDAY 14 OCTOBER

EDITORS THURSDAY 15 OCTOBER

EVERYTHING EVERYTHING MONDAY 9 NOVEMBER

TERRY & GERRY SATURDAY 14 NOVEMBER

SLAVES MONDAY 16 NOVEMBER

THUNDERSTRUCK (AC/DC TRIBUTE) SATURDAY 21 NOVEMBER

SHED SEVEN Plus Inspiral Carpets MONDAY 7 DECEMBER

THURSDAY 17TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Accessible Cycling CONCORDE Gerry & The Pacemakers THE BROOK Tom Robinson & Band TALKING HEADS, SOTON China Crisis THE JOINERS Psychostick MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla Queen of the Desert SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels

BH Live Tickets 0844 576 3000* Pyramids Centre, Clarence Esplanade, Portsmouth, PO5 3ST

www.bhlivetickets.co.uk www.pyramids-live.co.uk Prices will include our costs and no additional per ticket service charges will be added.

Any exceptions to this will be clearly displayed wherever prices are advertised and delivery charges will continue to apply. Calls cost 7p per minute plus your company's access charge. *Ticket

MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The Ukulele Orchestra of GB THE HAYMARKET, B’STKE What The Butler Saw BURSLEDON WINDMILL Fifty Shades of Autumn SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Southampton Boat Show WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, P SI Cranstoun THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ Laurence Jones HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Boat Show HORSE & JOCKEY, CURB’ D'Ska Assassins FRIDAY 18TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail THE BROOK Fleetwood Bac TALKING HEADS, SOTON The Nimmo Brothers THE JOINERS La Shark MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla Queen of the Desert NUFFIELD THEATRE What The Ladybird Heard THE PLATFORM Fedora Cafe SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels Much Ado About Nothing MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Killer Queen THE HAYMARKET, B’STKE What The Butler Saw FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Snap Dance Night THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Burnt Orange ROMSEY ABBEY BSO SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Southampton Boat Show 1865, SOTON Cerary Pazura HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Three Monkeys MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Boat Show SATURDAY 19TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail Kids and Adults Mountain Biking THE BROOK Green-ish Day THE JOINERS Tellison MAYFLOWER THEATRE Priscilla Queen of the Desert NUFFIELD THEATRE What The Ladybird Heard THE PLATFORM Blues Duo O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Revolution Pro Wrestling PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Bournemouth Wedding Show SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels Much Ado About Nothing MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE HAYMARKET, B’STKE What The Butler Saw

FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Arrival UK – Abba Tribute THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ Here Be Monsters YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ Mafia THE SWAN, WOOLSTON The Syndicate SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Southampton Boat Show 1865, SOTON Kirk Fletcher & Backwater Roll HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Boat Show LEPE C/P, HANTS Moth Evening RINGWOOD, HANTS Carnival NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest SAINTS FC Man United – H AFC B'MOUTH Sunderland – H PORTSMOUTH FC Oxford United – A EASTLEIGH FC Chester – A AFC TOTTON Bridgewater Town - A SUNDAY 20TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail MAYFLOWER THEATRE Al Murray THE PLATFORM John Roux & The White Knuckle Blues Band PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Bournemouth Wedding Show SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ Here Be Monsters THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Hazzard County LAKESIDE RAILWAY Small Engines Gala SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Southampton Boat Show MANGO, P'WOOD Pete Harris & Geradine Hume HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Life Drawing LEPE C/P, HANTS Amazing Moths NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest MONDAY 21ST MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail TALKING HEADS, SOTON Brother Bones SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter MAYFLOWER PK, SOTON Southampton Boat Show WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, P Vangoffey HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest TUESDAY 22ND MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Accessible Cycling

BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON 3 River Cruise KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Ocean Film Festival SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE HAYMARKET, B’STKE Mark Thomas SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail HARBOUR LIGHTS ROH Live: Romeo & Juliet NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest EASTLEIGH FC Dover Athletic - H WEDNESDAY 23RD MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail CONCORDE Stacy Kent & Her Musicians THE HOBBIT Gary Okey MAYFLOWER THEATRE Horrible Histories – Groovey Greeks O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Wolf Alice KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Dara O'Brian Crowd Tickler SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels Adolf & Winston MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Jekyll & Hyde PYRAMIDS, S’SEA Bluetones – Juke Box Tour SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest THURSDAY 24TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Accessible Cycling THE BROOK Stereo's MC's MAYFLOWER THEATRE Horrible Histories – Groovey Greeks & Incredible Invaders KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Dara O'Brian Crowd Tickler SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels Adolf & Winston MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE HAYMARKET, B’STKE What's Love Got To Do With It? FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Jekyll & Hyde SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail HARBOUR LIGHTS NT Encore: Coriolanus NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest FRIDAY 25TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON 3 River Cruise CONCORDE Elkie Brooks TALKING HEADS, SOTON The Toasters THE JOINERS The Psychedelic Warlords MAYFLOWER THEATRE Horrible Histories – Groovey Greeks & Incredible Invaders

THE PLATFORM John Emil KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Psychic Derek Acorah SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels Adolf & Winston MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The BBC Big Band FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Jekyll & Hyde BOTLEIGH GRANGE Take That YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ Dr Rock THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Wish We Were Pink Floyd SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter RODDINGTON FORGE George Michael Tribute

THE OLD BEAMS INN, IBSLEY Rat Pack 3 THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ John Coghlan's Quo HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Open Mic Night LEPE C/P, HANTS Bat Walks for Families NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest HORSE & JOCKEY, CURB’ The Pick Ups SATURDAY 26TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail Kids and Adults Mountain Biking BLUE FUNNEL, SOTON River Boat Shuffle Party Night THE BROOK T-Rextasy TALKING HEADS, SOTON Eat Static & Zetan Spore MAYFLOWER THEATRE Horrible Histories – Groovey Greeks & Incredible Invaders THE PLATFORM Elephant Shelf PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Drifters / The Pavilion Youth Theatre KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Thank you for the Music GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Darcy Oake SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels Adolf & Winston MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The Chicago Blues Brothers THE FORGE, B'STOKE Luke Jermay – Sixth Sense FERNHAM HALL, F'HAM Jekyll & Hyde YACHT TAVERN, WOOLS’ Legend EXBURY GARDENS September Stroll & Lunch SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter 1865, SOTON State Champs & Knuckle Puck & Roam WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, P Where's Me Jumper THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ Matt Creer HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Nick Pynn & Kate Daisy Grant

NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest SAINTS FC Swansea – H AFC B'MOUTH Stoke – A PORTSMOUTH FC Bristol Rovers – A EASTLEIGH FC Wrexham – A AFC TOTTON Cinderford Town - A

HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail HARBOUR LIGHTS Roger Waters, The Wall ROH: Romeo & Juliet NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest PORTSMOUTH FC Exeter – H AFC TOTTON Bashley - H

SUNDAY 27TH

MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail THE BROOK The Icicle Works THE JOINERS Rat Boy MAYFLOWER THEATRE Lord of the Flies THE PLATFORM Blues/Folk Jam & Open mic O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON The Wombats PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Pavilion Youth Theatre KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA The Searchers SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels CHICHESTER FEST TH’ The Seagull MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail THE ARTHOUSE, SOTON Exposure – film makers NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest

MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail CONCORDE The Osmonds THE JOINERS Biters MAYFLOWER THEATRE Horrible Histories – Groovey Greeks & Incredible Invaders THE PLATFORM JC & Angelina Grimshaw O2 GUILDHALL, SOTON Southampton Wedding Exhibition Southampton Rainbow Run PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Pavilion Youth Theatre SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE ANVIL, B'STOKE OAE Tots AGEAS BOWL, H'END Perform 5 Mile Road Race & Centurion Fun Run THE SWAN, WOOLSTON Somethin' Else SEA CITY MUSEUM Dinosaur Encounter WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, P Frisky & Mannish HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail SOTON COMMON Go Big or Go Home NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest MONDAY 28TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail THE PLATFORM Ryan Ingles PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Pavilion Youth Theatre SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels CHICHESTER FEST TH’ The Seagull MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, P Rhodes & JP Cooper HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest TUESDAY 29TH MOORS VALLEY C/P Superworm Trail / Accessible Cycling TALKING HEADS, SOTON The Solent City Jazzmen MAYFLOWER THEATRE Lord of the Flies PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Pavilion Youth Theatre SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels CHICHESTER FEST TH’ The Seagull MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me PYRAMIDS, S’SEA Barenaked Ladies THE RAILWAY, WINCH’ Poetry Platform

WEDNESDAY 30TH

OCTOBER THURSDAY 1ST MOORES VALLEY C/P Accessible Cycling CONCORDE Dean Friedman MAYFLOWER THEATRE Lord of the Flies PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Pavilion Youth Theatre KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Carmen GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Bryan Ferry SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Ivanov MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE HAYMARKET, B’STKE Shappi Khorsandi THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ John Lloyd EXBURY GARDENS Nerine Display HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest FRIDAY 2ND CONCORDE Leo Sayer THE BROOK Peter Hook & The Light MAYFLOWER THEATRE Lord of the Flies PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Pavilion Youth Theatre The Great 60's R & B Night SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels We Want You To Watch CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Ivanov MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me

THE ANVIL, B'STOKE The Illegal Eagles THE HAYMARKET, B’STKE Wishbone Ash THE FORGE, B'STOKE BLAIR DUNLOP EXBURY GARDENS Nerine Display ROMSEY ABBEY Brass To The Fore WEDGEWOOD ROOMS, P The Smyths HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest HORSE & JOCKEY, CURB’ Doctor Blu SATURDAY 3RD VICTORIA C/P Park Walk MOORES VALLEY C/P Kids and Adults Mountain Biking TALKING HEADS, SOTON The Dualers THE JOINERS Surfer Blood MAYFLOWER THEATRE Lord of the Flies THE PLATFORM Platform Posse PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Pavilion Youth Theatre One Night of Elvis KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Mistermaker & The Shapes live SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Noel Coward's Fallen Angels We Want You To Watch SALISBURY ARTS C’TRE Verdi's Il Trovatore CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Ivanov MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE HAYMARKET, B’STKE Simon Weston, Mylife, My Story THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ Comedy Gala EXBURY GARDENS Nerine Display Amble Through the Acers & Lunch RODDINGTON FORGE Mac Bailey & Desperado HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail LEPE C/P, HANTS Bat Walks for Families NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest SAINTS FC Chelsea – A AFC B'MOUTH Watford – H PORTSMOUTH FC Yeovil – H EASTLEIGH FC Braintree Town – H AFC TOTTON Tiverton Town - A SUNDAY 4TH VICTORIA C/P Cemetery Walk THE BROOK Ben Montague TALKING HEADS, SOTON Willie & The Bandits MAYFLOWER THEATRE Michael Palin NUFFIELD THEATRE Josh Widdicombe THE PLATFORM Paper Trains PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Pavilion Youth Theatre KINGS THEATRE, S’SEA Mistermaker & The Shapes live GUILDHALL P'MOUTH Milton Glee Club

MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Carmen THE FORGE, B'STOKE Danny Schmidt THEATRE ROYAL, WINCH’ Katherine Ryan EXBURY GARDENS Nerine Display HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest MONDAY 5TH THE HOBBIT Lucas Raye PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Pavilion Youth Theatre SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Flare Path CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Platonov MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me EXBURY GARDENS Nerine Display HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail HARBOUR LIGHTS ROH Live: Le Nozze Di Figaro NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest

WEEKLY & MONTHLY EVENTS TALKING HEADS The Candle Club Open Mic Night – Every Monday Southampton Ukulele Jam – Every other Monday Traditional Irish Acoustic Session – Sunday Afternoon ORANGE ROOMS Blues open mic night – Every Monday Rogue Tuesdays Orange Wednesdays Cocktail Culture Mixtape Fridays BREWERY BAR, BOTLEY Quiz Night – Wednesdays Open Mic nights - 2nd Tuesday of every month THE HOBBIT Games Night – Mondays Weekly Card Club Night – Tuesdays Jam Night - Wednesdays

TUESDAY 6TH

Tom Bombadil's cabaret open mic – Thursdays

MOORES VALLEY C/P Accessible Cycling BIC, B'MOUTH James Bay PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Pavilion Youth Theatre SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Flare Path CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Platonov MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me EXBURY GARDENS Nerine Display HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest

THE SHOE, PLAITFORD Live Music – last Friday 3rd Sunday of month RAILWAY INN, W'CHESTER Heatrbreak Hotel -Fridays Retrograde - 2nd Tuesday of month Roots – Mondays The Late Train Comedy Club - Sundays METTRICKS Live music every Friday Open Mic night every Thursday SIMON’S AT OXFORDS Jam night Sunday evening THE ARTHOUSE Southampton Songwriters - Tuesday Le Cafe De Amis – Wednesday British Sign Language Cafe – Wednesday

WEDNESDAY 7TH TALKING HEADS, SOTON Wheatus - 15th Anniversary Tour PAVILION THEATRE, B’TH The Pavilion Youth Theatre Tea Dance SALISBURY PLAYHOUSE Flare Path / Bike CHICHESTER FEST TH’ Platonov MINERVA TH’TRE, CHICH’ Someone Who'll Watch Over Me THE ANVIL, B'STOKE Philharmonia Orchestra THE HAYMARKET, B’STKE Its A Wonderful Life ROMSEY C/P Ghost Walk EXBURY GARDENS Nerine Display HAROLD HILLIER GDNS Autumn Trail NEW/F CENTRE, LYND’ Shedding New Light on the New Forest

Poetry stanza Group – Wednesday Origami Club – Thursday Story Club – Thursday Southampton Epilepsy Action Group – Friday PYRAMIDS, P'MOUTH Friday Nights on The Terrace THE FERRYMAN, WARSASH Live music outside on the decking Sunday lunchtime 1-3pm THE SHOOTING STAR Reloaded – Every last Saturday of the month THE TESTWOOD Open mic – Every Monday Charity Quiz – Tuesday Rock n' Roll Bingo – Wednesday Grumpy Club – Thursday Theme Music Night – Friday Disco/Live Music – last Saturday of the month Poker League – Sunday THE ALEXANDRA Free Pool, Free Retro Gaming – Sunday & Mondays Open Mic – Thursdays

HORSE & JOCKEY AT CURBRIDGE PS Perrystone Hill

SOUTHAMPTON ARMS, WEST END Open mic - 1st Monday of every month

“WRITE ABOUT ANYTHING” He said! Well that narrows it down! I'd better start with me

Matt Black Hi, I'm Matt Black, Some of you may have heard my name (and some of those will have seen it on the side of a pot of paint!), but most will have not. I am a pianist/comedian/songwriter/record producer/ columnist (see below).

There's two types of musicians, those who do it for fun, and those who do it for a living. There is a large overlap between those two ... I , for example, make my living in the music business, and I bloody love doing it to boot!!

If you're in it for skits and giggles, then it might not matter to you whether you come away with the extra folding in your back pocket - and that's a great way to be, but if you're paying the bills from your endeavours then what you get paid is quite an important factor.

It's a real balance of power because you don't want to find yourself performing 'Just' for the money, I think that takes the passion out of your performances, but you also want to feel that what you're doing is worth something to someone - and a pay check is one way of showing that.

If you are an act that people actively go out to watch and listen to then the venue in which you are appearing will make money out of the crowd - It's only fair that you receive a fair share of that - it's just what is fair?

There are a number of ways that I myself have approached this in the past; 1, A set fee - agreed by the venue and the artist - normally based on the size of the venue, the going rate that other musical gods have received, your reputation for attracting customers etc.

2, A share of the profits - a percentage of the take during the time you are entertaining if you will. This can include ticket money, drinks and food receipts and all that malarkey obviously a lot of room for negotiation as to who gets what.

I actually prefer the latter. Although it's much less clear cut, it serves a number of advantages. If the night is rammed, you both see the benefits. On the other hand if (Heaven forbid) the night doesn't attract a huge number in the crowd, and that could be for reasons other than anything to do with you, it helps the venue to stay open as a venue - If he's losing money through entertainment he will stop booking it, but if the profits are being shared (of which there always will be however small) then you're both either even stevens, or in pocket ready to play another day - no big loss. He's more likely to give the entertainment another crack at the whip, and more venues, means more live music support, means healthier music business.

Negotiating is another skill “AND YOU ACTUALLY GET that gets easier the more you PAID FOR THIS DO YOU?” do it. If the venue has approached you then you'll know that they have already “I TRY.” gone through the decisions regarding what they want that night, and that it will cost a certain amount of money - and as a business they will attempt to get what you have for the best price possible - this behaviour is never personal and it's a good idea to bear that in mind. You can always say No - you never HAVE to play anywhere that you don't want to, and on the occasions that you actually can't accept the booking it serves as a reminder to the venue that you aren't their emplyees in the normal sense of the word.

A good plan is to come rigt out and ask what budget they have in mind - it's normally a fair indication of what's in their minds.

If you find yourself in the position of wanting to play at a venue, but the budget is lower than you'd like, then make your mind up whether you're happy playing for peanuts, if you're not - politely decline - if they want you they will come back to you.

I have, in past instances, helped to raise their perception of a decent pay packet with 'I'll tell you what, go and phone a plumber, ask him what he'll charge for driving to your pub, spending 3 hours working there, and driving home again -I'll do it for half what he says' Try it, go on!

To book me, my studio or order a takeaway contact me at www.matt-black.org

TY RE BR BA AND Y NO NE W W OP EN

Botley’s only trading standards approved garage • Transponder keys supplied cut & programmed at a fraction of dealer prices • Dealer level diagnostic testing & programming • Injectorman.com Seized - broken injector extraction specialist

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page 33

Mr Tein

Season preview Mr Tein takes a look at the coming season in a way that only he can

What can we expect this season? Ever Since the arrival of Marcus Liebherr, Southampton FC have shown improvement season after season. Last season we even went very quickly from despair to 2nd in the league. But can we do it again?

On the plus side, we have kept our manager for once… and Jay Rodriquez is back and looking in form too. There are also a string of impressive new signings. But I think it will be tough this year. Why so?

Firstly, the window of opportunity to break into the exclusive top four Champions League spot is starting to close. The anticipated top four of Arsenal, Man City, Man Utd and Chelsea have all had a difficult few years with managerial changes and player movement, making them vulnerable. That meant that over the last few years Liverpool managed to break in at the expense of Man Utd while we nearly snuck in last season.

Now, all four clubs are more stable and strengthening their teams. So is the door locking tightly behind them?

As for The Saints it’s yet another summer exodus of quality players.

Bigger clubs, bigger stadiums, more money, more vibrant cities are all part and parcel of players leaving.

Then add in an injured goalkeeper to the loss of Clyne, Toby and Morgan and maybe even standing still will be success this season? Don’t forget last season we were being written off at this stage and seriously underestimated. Everybody now expects a resilient Saints when the season with nobody thinking we are easy meat, which they may have done last year. Plus with all the new money available to clubs, everybody is strengthening their sides. Even the poorest Premier League team is going to be pretty damn good.

So though the Champions League may be the slightest of possibilities, we will be competing in the Europa League this year … although that said by the time I come back from Holiday and you read this article we might be out of it! That will still leave us aiming at least for a Europa place for next season, putting us in a mini league with Spurs, Liverpool and maybe Everton and Swansea.

Spurs and Liverpool have both strengthened their squads at our expense. Brendon Rodgers has now spent the best part of £200m over two summers, albeit he keeps losing his best players. Everton will hope to bounce back from Europa fatigue last season and the likes of Stoke, Swansea and maybe even a Pardew inspired Crystal Palace could be on our tail. Or us on theirs?

Overall, this could be our hardest season yet. But one to really look forward to!

Things to look out for this season.

• Which player is going to slip innocuously in a game and face a 12 month absence due to a knee ligament injury? Nobody I hope!

• Who is Brendan (if he still has a job) Rodgers going to buy from us in next summer’s transfer window?

• Which of our strikers will score the most goals. I am still backing Pelle but there’s now big competition. Mane, Jay Rod or Juanmi … anyone?

• Koeman signing a new contract?

• Somebody stepping up to the mark to replace Jose Fonte as player of the season.

• Or Fonte proving his legend status by winning player of the year for third time.

• Matt Taggert and Jake Flanagan getting time on the pitch.

• Lovren’s head. Many suspect it’s not at Liverpool anymore.

AND ... (SEE WHAT I DID THERE MARTIN?) JUST INCASE YOU DIDNT KNOW, HERE ARE SAINTS SUMMER TRANSFERS IN Cuco Martina Jordy Clasie Maarten Stekelenburg Cedric Soares Juanmi Steven Caulker

FC Twente Feyenoord Fulham Sporting CP Malaga QPR

OUT Nathaniel Clyne Morgan Schneiderlin

Dani Osvaldo Artur Boruc Toby Alderweireld Cody Cropper Jos Hooiveld Eljero Elia Filip Djuric Omar Rowe Jake Sinclair

Scousehampton Man Utd Who cares?

Bournemouth Spurs MK Dons AIK Stockholm Werder Bremen Benfica Released Released

HOW I SEE THE SEASON FINISHING (HEAD NOT HEART I’M AFRAID) 1. MAN UTD Morgan could be the missing link, (While Rooney is more like Shrek).

2. MAN CITY if you can’t win anything with youngsters this team is old enough. Sterling will hardly dent the average age.

3. ARSENAL Slowly building a quality team. Of ex Saints players.

4.

CHELSEA can’t do as well as last year. Although Mourinho wouldn’t agree.

5. LIVERPOOL you can’t spend £279m and not be in the Champions League spot. Oh… 5th

6. SPURS Toby has to make them better. Or is he another Lovren?

7.

SAINTS based on having lost Morgan, Clyne, Toby, Lallana, Ricky, Lovren, Shaw, Chambers and Forster (inj) in 12 months!

8. SWANSEA Is Monk a one season wonder Like Roberto Martínez at Everton?

9. EVERTON Can Martinez bounce back from his one season wonder tag? Or is it relegation?

10. WEST HAM how did they get a brand new stadium for so little?

Seems a tad unfair.

11. NORWICH My friend supports them so I don’t want to upset him.

12. STOKE I would rather they went down but they never do.

13. WEST BROM This high but only because of Rickie Lambert!

14. WATFORD Play good football and have good owners. Just like us in our first season.

15. NEWCASTLE an accident waiting to happen. Again.

16. LEICESTER if their owners can just leave well alone.

17. BOURNEMOUTH We need a south coast scene!

18. VILLA up for sale. No buyers.

Players leaving. Need a miracle.

19. PALACE In this time of austerity nobody with Palace in their name should be allowed to survive. But Pardew might do it?

20. SUNDERLAND worth a bet to win promotion next season. But not to stay up.

MEMORY LANE Remember this? Our lovely old dell, in the polygon, when families lived there and the council looked after the place.

This picture was taken after the last game in 2001. If you look closely you might be able to spot the bit of turf the editor nicked while I still have my seat.

the

stockist game Can U spot the double?

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