LI B ER E N G E LSKA
FANTASTIC ME
A NDY C OOMBS S ARAH S CHO
ISBN 978-91-47-15593-4
© 2024 Coombs Andy, Scho Sarah och Liber AB
Title of the original Work
Fantastic Me © Andrew Coombs & Sarah Scho, 2021
REDAKTION Anna Karlberg
FORMGIVARE Ingela Jönsson
ILLUSTRATION OCH OMSLAG Sarah Scho
PROJEKTLEDARE Emilie Szakàl
Första upplagan
1 REPRO Repro 8 AB, Stockholm
TRYCK People Printing, Kina 2024
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1. September 6th 5
2. The Same day 9
3. October 10th 11
4. October 11th 17
5. October 20th 21
6. November 20th 25
7. November 21st 29
8. November 23rd 35
9. January 8th 39
INDEX
1September 6th
Thirty-one people staring at me. Sixty-two eyes. I don’t know why actors like it. I hate it. People looking at me. Judging me by what I look like and what I say. How shallow is that? How can people know if I’m fantastic or ordinary? Clearly, I’m fantastic, but they don’t know that.
And what makes teachers think it’s a good idea to force the new kid to stand up and talk in front of everyone?
“Just say something about yourself.” Mr. Jarvis said – like it’s not stressful enough being the only new kid in class in a new school full of kids who sound like they are all related to the Queen. So, I did.
“My name is Jake and I talk like this because I’m from the North.” I didn’t know what else to say so I just sort of stood there and looked at my feet.
Mr. Jarvis cleared his throat. “OK, maybe a bit more than that.”
“OK. I like to take photos. I want to be a travel photographer when I leave school.”
5
Mr. Jarvis waved his hand in circles like he wanted me to talk more. I ignored him.
“OK, so does anyone have any questions for Jake?”
Then a couple of them put their hands up. I mean – seriously! Hands up like you do at play school. Jarvis nodded at a girl.
“How old are you?” she asked and smiled proudly like she’d just set the new world record for the stupidest question ever.
“I’m sixteen,” I said.
She looked at me with wide eyes. “Really?”
“No, not really. I’m in your class. How old do you think I am?”
“Well, I’m thirteen.”
“So, work it out, Einstein.” I thought it was funny, but the other kids looked at me like I was a leper or something.
“OK…” said Jarvis slowly, “… does anyone else have a question? Kevin – what about you?” He nodded at another kid with his hand up.
“What’s your favorite color?”
Seriously. That’s what he asked me. The imagination of a dead frog.
Today was a ‘free’ day so no school uniform. I was wearing my cool black t-shirt with the picture of a skull on the back and black jeans.
“Pink,” I said, “bright pink. Like a rose.”
6
A couple of boys sniggered – but I don’t think they were laughing at my joke. I think they thought I was telling the truth.
“Anyone else?” continued Jarvis giving me a ‘don’t push it’ look.
“What was your old school like up North?” asked another girl.
“It was horrible,” I said. “I had classes ten hours every day and they only gave me bread to eat at lunch. Then I had to do work experience in a factory for three hours after school before I walked home in the snow with no shoes on to eat a dinner of more bread. If it was a special occasion like Christmas or my birthday maybe I would get soup.”
The girl looked at Jarvis who just shook his head and sighed.
“No Jenny. That’s not true. Schools in the North of England are very similar to our schools in the South. It seems that our new boy Jake has a special sense of humor.”
And he said the word ‘special’ like adults do when they want to call someone thick but are too polite.
“You can sit down now Jake. Over there. Next to Mr. Kevin Turner.” He pointed to a seat at the back next to the kid who asked the color question.
I sat down and looked around. Most of the kids were ignoring me – opening books or whatever. But one girl in a black hoodie with dyed red hair was smiling at me. She looked kind of Goth. Maybe we could get along.
7
The2same day
That was it. My first day. Lunch was horrible. The food was ok, but the experience sucked. Walking into the canteen and looking around for a place to sit. I sat on my own and tried to pretend the food was all I cared about.
Outside was worse. Everyone in groups; me on my own. The only good bit was the hoodie girl; Sarah is her name. She came over and we got chatting about stuff. She told me that the kid next to me in class was the class brain. Always got high scores.
“You could have fooled me,” I said. “He seems like a total chucklehead.”
She shrugged and said he was OK. And we chatted about other stuff. What teachers were OK and what teachers were not. She said Jarvis was really formal but OK. I didn’t agree but didn’t say anything. I told her about our new house and that was it. Oh, except after the last bell Jarvis made me stay behind for a ‘talk’ he called it. But it was him who did all the talking.
“I’ve seen your reports from your old school,” he said, “and the school before that. I know your dad moves around a lot and that must be hard. He’s a plumber, isn’t he?” I shrugged.
9
FANTASTIC ME
Nobody gets my sense of humour. Nobody.
“New school. New teachers. New kids to annoy. It’s hard to fit in when you are this fantastic!”
Jake’s life is hard enough, but things take a turn for the worse when he is accused of cheating on a major test. Now, he’s got to figure out how to clear his name and carve out the future he deserves.
Published by Liber AB All rights reserved Best.nr Tryck.nr 47-15593-4 47-15593-4
Copyright © 2024 by Andy Coombs & Sara Scho