Getting Sh*t Done
Getting Sh*t Done
CONQUER THE CHAOS, ONE SMALL HABIT AT A TIME
ROO DAY
Introduction
This book is for the people who can’t be helped, the people who’ve accepted they will never be perfect and the people who are ready to attempt doing life a fraction better (and, most importantly, the ones who are up for having a laugh while trying).
Well, well, well … look what the cat dragged in! I’m guessing if you’ve gone to all the effort of turning to the very first page of this book then you’re hoping to get a little more sh*t done in life, and who better to show you the way than a social media content creator! We all know they’re renowned for their brains and practical skills, not to mention their dedication to sharing trustworthy information. All jokes aside, what I lack in credentials I more than make up
for in sarcasm and enthusiasm. I’m not a professional cleaner or life coach, or anything else that would make me qualified to give you an iota of advice, but I like to think I have mastered the art of doing the maximum amount of sh*t in the minimum amount of time. If this sounds like a bit of you, you’re in the right place.
During the first meeting with my publisher about this book you’re holding or listening to (by the way, I could cry knowing that even just one person is consuming the words I’m currently writing), I was asked what I want people to take away from this book. The first thing I blurted out was that I want people to ‘have a giggle’. I was told in no uncertain terms that giggles alone just aren’t bloody good enough. Life isn’t all laughs apparently – a sick joke, I know. So, let me lay it all out for you here and tell you what I wholeheartedly would love for you to take away from reading this …
• I want you to know that it is completely OK for everything to fall to sh*t – you can get back on it tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that.
• I want you to know that you don’t need to have everything in order at the same time, or you’ll feel like you’re permanently chasing your tail.
• I want you to know that by completing the bare minimum of to-dos, you have achieved something and you bloody well deserve a little treat for it, without feeling guilt or worrying over the million other things you wanted to accomplish but didn’t quite manage.
Life is meant to be enjoyed and you can weave maintaining your home, self-care and staying on top of your shiz into that enjoyment. Oh, and I still stand by my initial statement: giggles make the world go round, so we will be having a laugh here too.
So, get cosy, grab a cuppa (or a cocktail) and let’s get stuck in.
How I Started Getting More Sh*t Done
The moment I accepted that living perfectly just isn’t possible was the moment I started to enjoy all the chaos that life brings. I’m here to champion the idea that baby steps are so much better than no steps at all, and the teeniest of tiniest daily changes can lead to a significantly more manageable day-to-day life.
There’s a chance that, if you’ve picked up this book, you may have seen me on the internet, gallivanting around my home while sharing every unhinged thought that pops into my head. I could never put into words how grateful I am for the support I receive through my social platforms, which I truly never imagined would grow in the way they have.
It all started as an outlet to be creative and show how bloody proud I was of our cute little flat, with its pops of pink and teal. And, honestly, I wanted to show off the results after sweating my absolute tits off, scrubbing the place from top to bottom. Since I am by default a messy b*tch and spend a significant amount of time cleaning up after myself (I’m
the problem; it’s me), it all just made sense one day for me to start documenting my cleaning sessions. A billion thank yous would never be enough, but, truly, thank you so much for following along – whether you’ve been around since the start, when I was terrified of doing a voiceover, or if you’ve just discovered my account more recently, when I can’t bloody shut up. You have changed my life in unimaginable ways and I am in a permanent state of ‘pinch me’ that there are so many people who enjoy stepping into my home and my unhinged head for a few short minutes at a time.
If I’m being honest, I feel entirely unqualified to be the captain of the ship that is my social media accounts, let alone to be writing a book, but what I’ve discovered during my time creating content is that so many people feel the same way that I do about staying on top of life (spoiler alert: IT’S HARD). Anything you read here is not me saying that I have it all figured out, because I am still very much learning too. I just want a place to share the things that have helped to calm the chaos for me, as well as the little tips and tricks I’ve learned along the way for managing
what I would consider to be the non-negotiable tasks in life, while weaving in a hefty helping of what I enjoy (if you’re anything like me, I’m talking rotting, reading and generally spending significant amounts of time horizontal).
I’m so grateful that so many people encourage my chaotic content, but I of course notice the odd Negative Nelly, and one comment that springs to mind is: ‘Why are you yapping?’ I’m yapping because there are so few people who are ready to yap about what it really takes to maintain a home, social life, mental health, and so on – and be honest about it. One downside to social media is the fact that people tend to share their highlights and best moments while keeping their many ‘can’t be arsed’ moments to themselves. I’ve always tried to keep things as real as they can possibly be in the circumstances (you know, given the fact I am well aware I’ve just set up a tripod and hit record). I do as much as I can be bothered with, and am always brutally honest in the voiceover when I think, ‘Do you know what? There are actually a million things I’d rather be doing right now than cleaning my bin in the shower.’ Equally, you
Giggles make the world go round.
achieving that when my personal energy is anything but calm has been a journey. I wasn’t shown how to clean, declutter and organise – these are all things I’ve taught myself to do along the way, and staying on top of everything is something I have to continuously try to do.
I know I’ve mentioned this briefly already, but I cannot stress enough that my default setting is screaming at me to be lazy, messy and unorganised. When I try on an outfit to go out and decide it’s not the one for me, my head tells me to drop it on the floor instead of hanging it back up in the wardrobe. Repeat this through a few inevitable outfit changes and – boom – we’ve got ourselves a code-red floordrobe. When I do my make-up, my head doesn’t say, ‘Put those products back neatly as you go.’ Nope, it screams, ‘Dump everything all over the place and feel the need to scream when you return home to the mess.’ And when I cook a meal (which, as you’ll see, is a rarity), by the time my MasterChef-worthy dish is complete, it looks like I’ve been burgled, with every ingredient, pot and utensil strewn around the work surfaces (and the floor).
Shizzle About This Book
I know so many of us feel like there’s just far too much sh*t to get done and nowhere near enough time to do it, and I’m just talking about the things in life we actually WANT to do! So how the hell are we supposed to fit in the boring stuff like the washing and cleaning? Life can be hectic, with long commutes, heavy workloads, plans to attend to and, for loads of you (and soon to be me), kids to ferry about! I’ve found that sometimes I have to get a little bit creative to fit everything in.
I always jokingly say that time management is my passion, but it’s not a joke at all. You might have seen me using a timer in my videos, but truly I’m constantly trying to find ways to manage my time in the best possible way to get everything done – like using the washing machine as my timer and the goal is to clean the entire flat before the cycle finishes, or another favourite of mine is using the 30 minutes it takes for my hair mask to work to blitz the bathroom within an inch of its life.
I start by working out which tasks I absolutely have to get done to feel like my head is firmly above
water. Let’s call this the ‘Bare Minimum Sh*t’, and I’m basically talking about my non-negotiables for any given day. When I delve into this further in the first chapter, you might even think that some of the things I mention seem really bloody obvious … Of course you need to eat to not die. But I purposefully lay out the mega obvious stuff because, in my mind, making sure you’ve had three balanced meals in a day is an achievement in itself and, once you can see all of the Bare Minimum Sh*t you’re actually achieving, you’ll realise that you’re not doing too badly after all, and there’s no need to beat yourself up because you didn’t manage to deep-clean your washing machine today like Sally on Instagram.
Once your Bare Minimum Sh*t comes as easily as breathing, you can really start Balancing Your Sh*t, Finding Joy in Everyday Sh*t and Truly Getting Sh*t Done.
Yep, that was me introducing you to the chapters. By the way, did I warn you that this book probably isn’t suitable if swear words aren’t your thing? No? Sorry, but you probably should have run a mile when you saw the title. I can yap for England if given
Introduction
half the chance, and don’t worry: there will be plenty more of that throughout the book, but for now I think it’s time we get stuck the f*ck in, don’t you? Don’t panic, I’ll be with you in all my chaotic glory every step of the way. You’ve got this, hun!
Chapter 1
lists. Personally, I can get on with my day just fine without making my bed, so I don’t have this on mine – that comes more into my list of ‘should-dos’ for the day because I’m no scientist, but I’m certain I’ve noticed a correlation between how productive I am and whether I made my bed that day. (We’ll speak more about should-dos in the next chapter when we look at Balancing Your Sh*t.) For now, in this chapter we’re really just focusing on those bare minimum to-dos that you feel you need to get done every day to basically not die.