The Building Blocks To Mental Health? LEGO
Forever Young INSIDE THE RACE TO “CURE” MORTALITY CULTURE
Ziggy Marley 14 Musings On Fear, Fame And His Father
SEPTEMBER 2019 HEALTH • MONEY • TRAVEL • RECIPES • FASHION • TECHNOLOGY SEPTEMBER 2019 £3.79 readersdigest.co.uk READER’S DIGEST | SMALL AND PERFECTLY INFORMED | SEPTEMBER 2019
Try risk free for 30 days
Do you find yourself struggling to read for any length of time?
Revolutionary light gives you back crystal clear clarity and vivid colour.
Serious Readers is a British company totally dedicated to the purity of light and as such our lights o er incredible clarity and brightness. So much so, they’re used by surgeons, forensic scientists and ne art restorers as well as anyone who needs to see clearly and accurately.
Special Offer
Purchase a Serious Light & get a FREE Serious Compact Light worth £150. Quote
Promotion Code 5732 when ordering by phone or online.
Up to TEN TIMES more light on your page than a traditional 60w lament bulb
Reading is easier, faster and more enjoyable
Recommended by over 500 independent quali ed opticians
Delivered fully assembled
5 year guarantee
For advice or to request a brochure
Call Free 0800 085 1088 or visit seriousreaders.com/5732
Features
16 IT’S A MANN’S WORLD
Olly Mann begins to panic at the prospect of welcoming baby number two
ENTERTAINMENT
20 INTERVIEW: ALAN CUMMING
The Scottish-American actor talks dating, his latest TV project and celeb friends
30 “I REMEMBER”: ZIGGY MARLEY
The musician opens up about his love of reggae, Jamaican food and his father
HEALTH
42 NEW HOPE FOR KNEES
Bad knees? Replacing them isn’t the only good solution out there
INSPIRE
60 BEST OF BRITISH: LIBRARIES
Shh! We’re revisiting our mission to find Britain’s best-loved libraries
70 FOREVER YOUNG
What does “ageing” really mean and are we getting closer to finding a cure for it?
80 LEGO LOVING
Simon Button explains why you’re never too old for Lego
TRAVEL & ADVENTURE
90 MAGICAL MONTENEGRO
Exploring the humanity of the country Donald Trump hates
COVER ILLUSTRATION: ©DANIEL MITCHELL IAN DAGNALL / CRONOS/ ALAMY STOCK PHOTO
2019 SEPTEMBER 2019 • 1
Contents SEPTEMBER
p60 p20
ROOMIER THAN ANYTHING you’ll find on the high street TO REQUEST YOUR FREE CATALOGUE CALL 0800 731 0148 OR VISIT cosyfeet.com FREE UK DELIVERY & RETURNS with your first order USE CODE RD0819 • OFFER ENDS 20/09/19 VAT RELIEF IS AVAILABLE FOR ELIGIBLE INDIVIDUALS. SEE COSYFEET.COM FOR DETAILS STYLES SHOWN: Francesca, Floyd, Salsa try Extra wide or feet? SUMMER SALE NOW ON ENDS 30/08/19 SELECTED STYLES
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 3 9 Over to You 12 See the World Differently HEALTH 50 Advice: Susannah Hickling 54 Column: Dr Max Pemberton INSPIRE 68 If I Ruled the World: Lemn Sissay TRAVEL & ADVENTURE 98 My Great Escape 100 Glamping in Europe MONEY 102 Column: Andy Webb FOOD & DRINK 106 Tasty recipes and ideas from Rachel Walker HOME & GARDEN 110 Column: Cassie Pryce FASHION & BEAUTY 114 Column: Lisa Lennkh on how to look your best 116 Beauty ENTERTAINMENT 118 September’s cultural highlights BOOKS 122 September Fiction: James Walton’s recommended reads 127 Books That Changed My Life: Taylor Jenkins Reid TECHNOLOGY 128 Column: Olly Mann FUN & GAMES 130 You Couldn’t Make It Up 133 Word Power 136 Brain Teasers 140 Laugh! 143 60-Second Stand-Up 144 Beat the Cartoonist In every issue p106 Contents SEPTEMBER 2019 p68
www.ultralase.com
0800 988 6385
SENIOR EDITORS
Anna Walker, Eva Mackevic
EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Jessica Summers
ART DIRECTOR Richard Cooke
ADVERTISING Jigs Pankhania
MARKETING Sarah Hughes
HEAD OF FINANCE Santwana Singh
FINANCE MANAGER Irving Efren
MANAGING DIRECTOR Julie Leach
CHAIRMAN Gary Hopkins
TRUSTED MEDIA BRANDS INC (USA)
President and Chief Executive Officer
Bonnie Kintzer
Vice President, Chief Operating Officer International
Brian Kennedy
Editor-in-Chief, International Magazines
Raimo Moysa
WE PAY...
£50 for the star letter and £30 for regular letters.
Email readersletters@readers digest.co.uk or go to readers digest.co.uk/contact-us
WE ALSO PAY...
£30 for the true stories, anecdotes, jokes in Laugh! and You Couldn’t Make It Up…, and contributions to end-ofarticle fillers and My Great Escape
Email excerpts@readersdigest.co.uk or go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us
SORRY!
We cannot acknowledge or return unpublished items or unsolicited article-length manuscripts. Do not send SAEs. Article-length stories, poetry and cartoons are not requested.
CUSTOMER SERVICES
Contact Customer Services for renewals, gifts, address changes, payments, account information and all other enquiries. Call 0330 333 2220* or email customer_service@readersdigest.co.uk
TALKING MAGAZINES
Reader’s Digest is also available in audio and accessible etext editions from RNIB Newsagent, for blind and partially sighted readers. Call the RNIB Helpline on 0303 123 9999 or visit rnib.org.uk/newsagent
SUBSCRIPTIONS
Annual subscriptions are available to be delivered monthly direct to your door. For our latest offers please visit readersdigest.co.uk/subscribe Or telephone us today on 01778 392461
Gift subscriptions also available. UK rates may vary. Overseas rates: Republic of Ireland €50, Rest of the World €60.
*Calls to 03 numbers cost no more than a national rate call to an 01 or 02 number and will be free if you have inclusive minutes from any type of line including mobile, BT or other fixed line PAPER FROM SUSTAINABLE FORESTS. PLEASE RECYCLE © 2017 Vivat Direct Ltd (t/a Reader’s Digest). British Reader’s Digest is published by Vivat Direct Ltd, 57 Margaret Street, London W1W 8SJ. All rights reserved throughout the world. Reproduction in any manner, in whole or part, in English or other languages, is prohibited. Reader’s Digest is a trademark owned and under license from Trusted Media Brands, Inc, and is registered with the United States Patent and Trademark Office. All rights reserved. Printed by Pindar Scarborough Limited. Newstrade distribution by Seymour Distribution Limited. SMALL PRINT: Ensure submissions are not previously published. Include your name, email, address and daytime phone number with all correspondence. We may edit letters and use them in all print and electronic media. Contributions used become world copyright of Vivat Direct Ltd (t/a Reader’s Digest). Reader’s Digest is a member of the Independent Press Standards Organisation (which regulates the UK’s magazine and newspaper industry). We abide by the Editors’ Code of Practice and are committed to upholding the highest standards of journalism. If you think that we have not met those standards, please contact 0203 795 8886. If we are unable to resolve
complaint, or if
would like more information about IPSO or the Editors’ Code, contact IPSO on 0300 123 2220 or visit ipso.co.uk
all
use the customer services number below
TO US! SEND US YOUR STORIES, JOKES AND LETTERS OR VISIT OUR WEBSITE
your
you
For
subscriber enquiries, please
WRITE
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 5
Travel made marvellous
4-star Vietnam & Cambodia
14 days from
£2,629pp*
Price includes three nights in Ho Chi Minh City, a seven-night Mekong river cruise, two nights in Siem Reap, return flights, sightseeing, meals plus drinks with lunch & dinner on board, tipping and more.
0800 046 7728 | aptouring.co.uk/Mekong
T&C’s apply – see website. Price is pp, twin share on Cat. E cabin on 7 March 2020. Prices correct as at 30 July 2019. UK-122
AV EL MA RV EL
TR
In This Issue…
When I think back to my childhood, I often see myself in a library. On the first day of any school break, I’d be found marching through the doors of Stevenage Library, obscured behind as many books as my arms could carry. And my love for libraries hasn’t dwindled with age. Did you know that as well as books, your local library can provide you with tech drop ins, sanitary products, audiobooks, mindfulness classes, WiFi, home visits for the elderly or disabled, charging ports, local history information and much more?
I selected some of my favourite libraries in Britain on p60, but get out there and visit your local branch too—they remain an invaluable resource and without more support we risk losing them entirely. The belly-wobbling bass lines, the nourishing vibrations, and a potent but positive message of rebellion—there’s nothing quite like reggae music—and we’re celebrating our love for it throughout the entire issue. First, we take a look at the beguiling new documentary Inna De Yard on p119, which follows a group of reggae pioneers as they revisit old hits and teach us about the history of the genre through touching memories and witty aperçus. And on p30, we talk to a true reggae icon, Ziggy Marley himself. A kind and discerning conversationalist, he opened up to us about growing up on the dangerous streets of Jamaica in the 1970s and the most important lessons he learned from his superstar dad.
Anna
Eva
You can also sign up to our newsletter at readersdigest.co.uk
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 7
EDITORS’ LETTERS
Follow us
is
in 27 editions in
languages facebook.com/readersdigestuk twitter.com/readersdigestuk @readersdigest_uk
Reader’s Digest
published
11
Access all areas with an exciting homelift
A Stiltz Homelift is perfect for moving between floors in your home.
This compact, discreet and elegant homelift can be installed in the corner of your living room, hallway or kitchen. It can also fit in a cupboard or within the turn of your stairs*.
Whether you’re renovating, extending or embarking on a new build, Stiltz can work with you to find the best location for your homelift.
Why not visit our website customer stories and read how other Stiltz Homelift owners are enjoying a new lease of life.
Call today for a brochure or free home survey.
• Order direct from manufacturer
• Cost-effective
• Installs in a day**
• Fully guaranteed
• Small footprint
• Flexible positioning
• Safety features
• Battery back up
• Contemporary styling
• Fast track delivery
*
Call us FREE on
8757 or visit www.stiltz.co.uk
0808 302
space available. ** Based on installing a Duo Homelift (shown) in pre-prepared aperture. AS SEEN ON TV
Depending on
Over To You
LETTERS ON THE JULY ISSUE
We pay £50 for Letter of the Month and £30 for all others
Letter of THE MONTH
I am finding Jonathan Hancock’s articles fascinating. The recent one in the July issue on memorising information was so helpful for all generations and especially invaluable to students of all ages.
The August article also showed how using our senses evoked all sorts of memories. Tastes of previously forgotten food or drink, for example, can bring back sensations of times gone by; of particular moments, whether sad or happy.
Sounds can also bring back forgotten times and promote nostalgic emotions. Jonathan suggests we really concentrate to recreate other sense experiences as well.
One sense that has brought everlasting pleasure for me is that of human touch. When I knew my mother was going to die, each time I said goodbye to her I used to say “cheek-tocheek, Mum” and we would sit with our cheeks together for a few moments. To this day—although she died 23 years ago—I can still recall the exact softness of her little cheek against mine.
None of us know how fleeting and precious time is and we all ought to concentrate, so that we will always have awakened senses and sharpened memories. Mary Tappenden, Kent
VIEWING PLEASURE
Your “Outdoor Cinema” article brought back happy memories from a year ago when my partner and I sat in the grounds of Wollaton Hall, Nottingham. Batman, The Dark Knight Rises, was filmed there and we were there to watch a special screening. I’ll always remember the screen bursting into life and Christian Bale appearing above us. The imposing and eerie hall to my back created an extraordinary and surreal atmosphere. I wasn’t aware other places held outdoor screenings. I’ll certainly be looking for some more.
Esther Newton, Berkshire
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 9
MCKENNA THE WISE
I fully agreed with Paul McKenna in “If I Ruled the World” when he said it would be great for life skills to be taught in schools. Many institutions give lessons in modern technology, and since it’s such a way of life nowaday, this should be compulsory in every curriculum.
I certainly would have benefitted from this type of education. Dealing with problematic computers and automatic phone lines can be an absolute nightmare.
I enjoyed Paul McKenna’s “If I Ruled The World” and found his view about meditation very thoughtprovoking. Knowing that if there is a boxing match on TV, the murder rate goes up, but a group of meditators can bring down violent crime rate proves that we should be teaching meditation from a very early age. Both junior and senior children could benefit from escaping from this mad, crazy world we live in for a few hours a week.
I teach children and getting them to pay attention is something I sometimes find hard to do. Their minds are like monkeys swinging quickly from one branch of thought to another. Mobile phones and tablets have only made it harder for them to focus. I would like to see schools across the country adopt a practice called mindfulness—the technique was developed over two millenniums ago and is a way of resting, clearing and rejuvenating the mind. It can go a long way towards improving the classroom learning environment.
Well said Paul. Alice Harding, Cambridgeshire We Want To Hear From
OVER TO YOU Send letters to readersletters@readersdigest.co.uk Include your full name, address, email and daytime phone number. We may edit letters and use them in all print and electronic media.
You
12
Photo: © Getty Ima G es/ a FP/JU st IN ta LLI s
TURN THE PAGE…
See the world
14
…differently
In 1666 a massive fire raged through London, nearly levelling the fabled city on the Thames. Roughly 100,000 people lost their homes and 80 per cent of the historical city centre was engulfed by the flames, including London’s symbolic St. Paul’s Cathedral. In 2016, to commemorate the 350th anniversary of this horrific event, Londoners set their skyline ablaze once more, this time however they substituted a 400ft-long historically accurate wooden model for the real buildings.
Foto: © Chr I s J r at CLIFF e/Getty Ima G es
Second Thoughts
As Olly Mann and family prepare for a new arrival, he ponders whether anything can ever live up to the glory of early fatherhood
I'm about to become a father again. All being well, by the time you read this, I will be—we’re expecting our second son in three weeks. Except, of course, it’s not really me who’s the "expectant" one. My fat, tired, emotional (strong, heroic, might-read-this) wife is "expecting".
I have merely attended a couple of scans, dug out the cot from the loft, and initiated some premature conversations about baby-names ("Alvin" was my favourite, but then we got a kitten and I can’t now suggest our son should have the same name as the cat.)
I don’t feel remotely prepared. I didn’t the first time round, either— as I articulated in the first of these
Olly Mann presents Four Thought for BBC Radio 4, and the award-winning podcasts The Modern Mann and Answer Me This!
columns, back in January 2016. My anxieties then, apparently, concerned how to support my wife through labour (now I know: just be there, pretend everything’s fine, don’t faint) and what to buy to help us through sleepless nights (now I know: a white noise app, a Netflix subscription, and a wine box).
Second time round, my lack of preparedness is not a product of ignorance, but familiarity. I’m not neurotic—I’m complacent. "We’ve done this before, it’ll be fine!" has been the thrust of my internal monologue over the past eight months. Only now, as D-Day heaves into view, is there an additional voice at the back of my head, interjecting: "Yes, but you don’t remember any of it".
And it’s true. From about 18 months onwards, I can roughly recollect what a day in my son’s life entailed. But when it comes to Harvey’s baby months, I draw a blank. What was it like, waking at
IT’S A MANN’S WORLD
16 • SEPTEMBER 2019
BY ELLY WALTON
ILLUSTRATION
17
3am to sterilise his bottle? I sang to get him to sleep, but what did I sing? How many layers of clothes did he wear? When did we start combing his hair? Did he even have hair? I simply don’t remember.
This amnesia is presumably due to the sleep deprivation of that era. Indeed, I know other parents with similar black spots: a mate of mine once compared his baby-rearing brain to the CCTV camera in a garage forecourt, taping over itself, erasing earlier events to accommodate newer footage. Perhaps our limbic system has even evolved to deliberately fuzz over the details, so we don’t all become celibate and precipitate the end of our species.
That said, I’ve recently experimented with holding various newborns (stepping in when their parents require a loo-break, for example—it’s not like there’s a class for this), and I’m pleased to report that the muscle memory, at least, of how to hold them, bounce them, reassure them and gently coo at them (all whilst directing my nose away from their
bottom) appears to be burned into my subconscious. Although I'd assumed such knowledge was lost, it can resurface instinctively, like a child riding a bike.
The other, more profound thing for which I am unprepared is giving another child the unquestioning, unconditional love I have given Harvey. I’m an only child, but understand, from friends who aren’t, that groups of siblings often suppose the youngest amongst them is secretly their parents’ favourite. I cannot imagine how this can be so.
The thunderclap of emotion that struck me when I first met Harvey can surely never be superseded! When he was born, I literally couldn’t talk, except in a wavering murmur, for about three hours. Yet, parents of two or more kids tell me they do love their second, just as much. I find it astonishing to think I could ever adore another son as emphatically as my first.
This feeling is compounded by the fact that, now he is three and a half, Harvey is far more entertaining than any infant. His first smile, first bath and first crawl seemed enchanting to me back in 2016,
IT’S A MANN’S WORLD
18 • SEPTEMBER 2019
“I find it astonishing to think that I could ever adore a second son as emphatically as my first"
but clearly the comparatively tedious progress of a babe-in-arms cannot compete with the companionship of a walking, talking little boy with whom I can build sand castles, blow bubbles, and debate the failings of
Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Finally, there’s my lack of physical readiness. I’m 38. Not old, these days, for fatherhood—but a good decade older than many other Dads at soft-play. I’m overweight. I enjoy eight hours sleep. I know how physical it is, running and rolling your way through the toddler years, and, while I wanted this second child, very much, I’ll admit there’s a small part of me that might prefer to put on my slippers and watch the news.
Anyway, too late to turn back now. Here he comes, ready or not. n
TAKE TWO
These iconic films were almost released under a different title entirely…
Pretty Woman was originally called 3,000 after the £3,000 Richard Gere's character pays to Julia Roberts' Vivian.
Classic scare sci-fi flick Alien was first titled Star Beast, a reference to a 1954 sci-fi novel by Robert A Heinlein.
It's hard to imagine Casablanca by any other name, but Everybody Come to Rick's was the working title of this classic love story.
Snakes On A Plane very nearly lost its major star—Samuel L Jackson—by changing its name to Pacific Air Flight 121. Jackson insisted they change it back immediately, saying "That's the only reason I took the job. I read the title."
Bizarrely, during production phases, Universal Studios claimed that nobody would see a film with the word "future" in the title, meaning Back to the Future almost became known as Space Man From Pluto. Not quite such a ring to it. Thankfully Spielberg refused.
After hearing that Warner Brothers hated the title of his pet project, Beetlejuice, Tim Burton joked that he would change it to Scared Sheetless. Unfortunately for him, they loved it and tried to run with it before he put his foot down.
SOURCE: BUZZFEED.COM
READER’S DIGEST
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 19
20 ENTERTAINMENT
Alan Cumming:
On Cops, Cabaret And Karma
by Simon Button
The Scottish-American actor chats to us about playing the first leading gay character on a US TV show, running his own night club and the perks of being a married man
Talking about playing the first ever openly gay character on a US network drama in Instinct, Alan Cumming declares: “If you can be progressive within the mainstream you can be much more potent.”
Cumming could also be talking about his career. He’s an envelopepushing renegade who has always marched to the beat of his own drum—from his Tony-winning turn as the predatory emcee in Cabaret to his satirical fragrance line via anything-goes solo shows and a recurring role as a blunttalking campaign strategist on The Good Wife right at the heart
of mainstream TV. One minute he’s in a Spy Kids or X-Men movie, the next he’s in the blood-soaked screen version of Titus , then he’s essaying about dressing up as a woman for a day for Marie Claire . He’s a novelist, memoirist (writing candidly about growing up with an abusive father), supported the campaign for Scottish independence and continues to champion LGBT+ causes. He even has his own nightclub in New York cheekily called Club Cumming.
It’s a wonder he has time to chat to me at this year’s Monte-Carlo TV Festival but the 54-year-old multitasker is very relaxed as he slumps his legs over a chair and
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 21
CRONOS / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO
“ I DON’T THINK I’M THREATENING TO PEOPLE WHICH MEANS I CAN SAY PROVOCATIVE THINGS”
talks proudly about his Instinct character—a former CIA operative turned author and psychology professor named Dr Dylan Reinhart, who becomes a consultant for the NYPD when a crime appears to have been inspired by one of his books.
Reinhart is gay and that was “hugely important” for Alan, who is married to San Francisco-born illustrator Grant Shaffer and who has campaigned for same-sex marriage in his Scottish homeland and works with AIDS charities and the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. “I didn’t intend to be in
a cop show,” he says, “but the fact it was the first leading gay character in a network drama on US television is a huge reason I did it.
“I wanted to make sure we did it properly and that it was treated respectfully, without sensationalism and not in the usual way they treat gay characters on network shows— namely in a stereotypical way or where they’re the best friend or where their sexuality is a problem.”
Reinhart’s relationship with his husband Daniel is very loving and matter-of-fact. “And it’s amazing that in America this is the first time
22 • SEPTEMBER 2019 INTERVIEW: ALAN CUMMING
many people will have seen a gay couple in a relationship being at home and eating toast. That’s a huge thing because the fact it’s not sensationalised and it’s not seen as being a problem changes people’s attitudes.”
Prior to our meeting I’ve spotted Alan at the festival in a sleeveless white shirt and heavy black eyeliner and later he pops up in an eyecatching polka-dot suit. When we meet he’s more reserved in a grey suit and dark blue shirt as someone brings him a huge coffee and he
remarks “Oh gosh, I’m going to be so caffeinated!”
With two seasons of Instinct filmed so far, he’s really enjoying playing the speak-as-he-finds Reinhart, saying: “I love how contrary he is. He’s like five different people in one character.”
That, I note aloud, sounds a lot like the actor himself. He laughs. “I suppose he is, yes. He can be really odd in certain situations and maybe that’s what I bring to it myself.”
They also share a flamboyance and a devil-may-care quality. “But
READER’S DIGEST SEPTEMBER 2019 • 23
Alan as the nononsense former CIA operative turned author and professor, Dylan Reinhart, in Instinct
I kind of do it with a wink and I’m kind with it,” Cumming insists. “I don’t think I’m threatening to people, which means I can say quite provocative things.”
Also, I imagine he couldn’t be a wallflower if he tried? He laughs again. “No, that doesn’t really work for me. Also, the older you get the less f***s you give about what you want to say and do and how you want to come over.”
He recently did an Off-Broadway play entitiled Daddy with a predominantly young cast. “And it was so interesting to see them really concerned about everything in the press and how they were perceived. But I do feel for young people now
and how their value in the world is determined by how many ‘likes’ you have and how many followers you have. We didn’t have all that, although if there was an interview I felt was a hatchet job it might upset me but now I don’t care.”
The thick skin comes from being in the business since 1986, when Perthshire-born Alan made his screen debut in a TV film called Passing Glory and worked steadily in theatre mostly before his starmaking performance in Cabaret in 1998. To list everything he’s done since then would take a whole issue of this magazine, suffice to say he’s never stopped working.
24 • SEPTEMBER 2019
INTERVIEW: ALAN CUMMING AF ARCHIVE / ENTERTAINMENT PICTURES / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO
“I WANTED MY CLUB TO BE ABOUT ALL GENDERS, AGES AND SEXUALITIES, FUN AND SEXY BUT ALSO SAFE, WITH A SENSE OF COMMUNITY”
His 2004 “Cumming” fragrance and 2011 sequel “2nd Cumming” were two of many sideline projects and the idea was to “lampoon and satirise celebrity endorsements yet at the same time it was a real thing”. Then there’s Club Cumming in New York’s East Village, which celebrates its second anniversary in September. “I wanted it to be about all genders, all ages, all sexualities, fun and sexy but also safe, with a sense of community, and we’ve achieved all that. With the staff I’m like, ‘Kindness is everything here and if you’re mean forget it’.”
The same goes for the customers. Having played pushy film director Piers Cuthbertson-Smyth in Spice World , Cumming recently hosted a 20th anniversary screening of the film and a competition for the best Spice Girl wannabe. There were two Baby Spices on stage and one of the guys said something catty and mean about the other one so Alan said: “You’re going to have to leave the
READER’S DIGEST SEPTEMBER 2019 • 25
Alan in Spy Kids (2001) (left) and In the X-Men franchise film X2 (2003) (right)
“IT’S NUTS—I’LL BE 56 AND THAT’S NOT NORMALLY THE TIME TO START A DANCE CAREER”
stage because we have a certain level of kindness that’s necessary at Club Cumming and you’ve failed to reach that level so you’re disqualified”.
He grins. “What’s hilarious is that when he stepped off the stage he fell and cut his knee. That’s karma.”
Famously good friends with Liza Minnelli, he’s yet to welcome the one-time Studio 54 regular to his club because she’s been living in Los Angeles, but she’s featured on the mural that Grant designed. “I was chatting to her about the spirit of the
26 • SEPTEMBER 2019
EVERETT COLLECTION INC / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO
place before it opened,” Alan says affectionately, “and she said, ‘I’m the same spirit so tell Grant if he doesn’t put me on the mural I’ll kill him’.”
A great day off, when he gets one, is spent with Grant and their dogs Jerry and Lala, “just hanging out with the dogs and my man or having friends over for a little singsong around the piano”.
Cumming’s an accomplished singer and actor and novelist and club-owner and perfumer. If there’s one thing he doesn’t think he’s quite so good at it’s dancing. So what’s he doing? Prepping a performance at the Joyce Theater, New York’s home of contemporary dance, in a couple of years.
“It’s nuts. I’ll be 56 and that’s not normally the time to start a dance career.” Ever the contrarian, he laughs. “But I just thought, Why not ?” n
Instinct Season One is on Sky Box Sets. Season Two is coming soon to Sky Witness
PITCH-PERFECT
Did you know that only about one in 10,000 people have the so-called “absolute” pitch? One of them was the jazz icon Ella Fitzgerald whose timing and pitch were so impeccable that band musicians would tune up to her voice. Endlessly inventive, only when recorded did she sing the same way twice.
SOURCE: NPR.ORG
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 27
READER’S DIGEST
With his husband, Grant Shaffer
No painting or repairs for 25 years?
It must be a ColourFence!
Maintenance-free until 2044 – at least!
As Summer gives way to Autumn, there’s plenty to do in the garden. However, with ColourFence, one of the most tedious, time-consuming jobs disappears overnight. Not just for 2019 but for the next 25 years! That’s because there’s no need to paint or repair ColourFence. It’s guaranteed not to warp, crack, shrink, rot or peel for the next 25 years. Making it one of the world’s best maintenance-free fences. And, unlike other fences, ColourFence can withstand wind speeds of up to 130mph. There’s a choice of colours to harmonise and enhance your garden’s design. You’ll find our prices surprisingly competitive too.
To see the full product range, call us today and find out why it makes sense to choose ColourFence.
Guaranteed† not to warp, crack, shrink, rot or peel
Withstands wind gusts of up to 130mph
No painting or repairs for 25 years
Create your look with a choice of colours, designs and sizes
No risk professional installation
Despite many coats of preservative, the structure of the wooden fence in our front garden rotted, and a recent storm sent it off down the road, thankfully missing the neighbour’s car. However, every cloud has a
silver lining, and we couldn’t be more pleased with our new ColourFence. It looks great, and we are looking forward to years of summers with no fence paint or algae treatments.
Mr & Mrs P. Glamorgan
“ “
0800 644 4113 colourfence.co.uk †Hose down occasionally – terms & conditions apply. NOW! To receive your GOOD FENCE GUIDE and no-obligation quote – FREEPHONE FREEPOST LON15651, London SE1 1BS FREEPOST COLOURFENCE (RD9/19) BLACK CAPITALS PLEASE MR/MRS/MISS ADDRESS PLEASE CIRCLE MOBILE EMAIL TELEPHONE NUMBER (To con rm details in case of non arrival) POSTCODE THE GOOD FENCE GUIDE A FREE QUOTE Please send me To see our wide choice of sizes, colours and designs–contact us today! 0800 644 4113 colourfence.co.uk †Hose down occasionally – terms & conditions apply. CALL NOW!
To receive your FREE GOOD FENCE GUIDE and no-obligation quote – FREEPHONE FREEPOST LON15651, London SE1 1BS FREEPOST COLOURFENCE (RD9/19) BLACK CAPITALS PLEASE MR/MRS/MISS ADDRESS PLEASE CIRCLE MOBILE EMAIL TELEPHONE NUMBER (To con rm details in case of non arrival) POSTCODE THE GOOD FENCE GUIDE A FREE QUOTE Please send me To see our wide choice of sizes, colours and designs–contact us today!
Blue Brown Cream
I REMEMBER… Ziggy Marley
Jamaican musician Ziggy Marley, 50, is a seventime Grammy winner, humanitarian and the son of reggae icon, Bob Marley. He looks back on his turbulent childhood in Jamaica, growing up in Rastafari culture and parenthood
…GROWING UP IN TRENCH TOWN, JAMAICA, which was then called “The Ghetto” because it was a very poor area. Some of my earliest memories are playing football with the neighbourhood kids. In those days, we didn’t have internet or video games, so we’d just go outside, play games and pick mangoes and bananas. When my parents started earning more money from music, we moved to a slightly better community.
…MY MOTHER HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE GLUE THAT HELD EVERYTHING TOGETHER. Without her, things would fall apart. She’s a very strong woman and the things I saw her do as a child impressed me and set an example for me. Jamaica was going through a rough time in the 1970s; there were riots in the streets, people blocking the roads, burning tyres and cars—there was political tension and it was a very
ENTERTAINMENT
30 • SEPTEMBER 2019 ROB LATOUR/SHUTTERSTOCK / PICTORIAL PRESS LTD/ALAMY STOCK
volatile situation. Once, mum picked us up from school but we couldn’t get home because these guys were blocking the road with old cars. She stopped in front of them, got out of the car and started arguing with them. I was watching them from the car, frightened, as I could see there was a lot of tension. But, somehow, she talked them down, they broke up the barrier, let us through and we got home safely. She’s a brave woman and that moment inspired me to be as strong as she is.
…SPENDING TIME WITH MY FATHER. He’d do fun activities with us like racing, and he’d always get to the finish line first, he’d never let us win! He was so competitive. He also used to take us to Saint Ann, which is the countryside of Jamaica, where he was born. He’d wake us up in the middle of the night and drive us there—I really enjoyed those rides.
…MUSIC WAS ALWAYS AROUND. When I was a child, I’d just hang around and listen to my parents write and rehearse new songs. They also exposed me to stuff like The Jackson 5 and Diana Ross. My parents travelled frequently so my great aunt would take care of us a lot of the time and she would play
gospel music, Nat King Cole and Glen Campbell so we had a lot of American music in the house.
“Rockin’ Robin” was a song that we sang a lot when we were kids and I’ll never forget Glen Campbell’s “Rhinestone Cowboy”.
…SUNDAY DINNER WAS A BIG DEAL. The rest of the week was alright but on Sunday, we ate fancy. We’d have chicken, rice, beans and
I REMEMBER… 32 • SEPTEMBER 2019
TRINITY MIRROR/MIRRORPIX/ALAMY
Ziggy playing football with his dad; (Left) With siblings Sharon, Steven and Cedella
many different side dishes. We looked forward to it all week. The whole family would cook everything together and there was always a lot of commotion: we would lick the pans, there’d be guys killing goats outside the house, there was a fire with a big pot on it—there was always a lot of activity going on.
…EXPERIENCING
CHRISTMAS FOR THE FIRST TIME in Wilmington, Delaware. My parents
moved there to try and find a better life when I was very young. There was no Christmas back in our community in Jamaica so it was the first time I saw all the Christmas trees, lights and snow. I got a Mickey Mouse drum set as a gift from my grandmother’s husband at the time.
…SMOKING MARIJUANA WASN’T CONSIDERED A BAD THING in Rastafarian culture. It wasn’t something to hide from the kids.
READER’S DIGEST
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 33
PETER MURPHY (COURTESY OF FIFTY-SIX HOPE ROAD MUSIC LTD.)
I REMEMBER… EVERETT COLLECTION INC/ALAMY STOCK PHOTO / ZACH WEINBERG (COURTESY OF TUFF GONG WORLDWIDE)
34 • SEPTEMBER 2019
(Top) Ziggy Marley and the Melody Makers; (Left) Playing football with his son
I can’t even remember when I had my first “spliff”, I was around nine. I was very young, too young. I wouldn’t have let myself do it in my father’s place. But it was a part of our religion—we’re one of those ancient cultures with traditions that modern society wouldn’t accept.
When I first consciously decided to smoke weed as a teenager, I approached it from a spiritual point of view. It’s given me more insight into myself and into my spirituality, and I use it as a form of influence when I’m reading scriptures and books about spirituality. I use it to give me a different perspective so that my mind isn’t in the same place that it normally is. I turn into a shaman. It was never just about getting high—I educated myself about it in terms of how Yogis in India use it and I went down that route with it, I didn’t go down the “fun” route.
…THE BEGINNINGS OF OUR FAMILY GROUP, THE MELODY MAKERS.
As kids, we’d always perform for our great aunt. We made up shows and she would oblige us by coming and watching us perform. Music was something my siblings and I just did without thinking about it and eventually it turned into The Melody Makers. In 1979, my father wrote a song for us called “Children Playing in the Streets” which is basically about how we grew up.
“Children playing in the streets in broken bottles and rubbish heaps”— that’s just how we were brought up. So we went into the studio and did that song and continued on. The first song I ever wrote as a child was about a girl I was seeing. I was about nine or ten. It went, “I love you to my heart and we’re never gonna part.”
…WHEN DAD TOOK ME AND MY BROTHER STEPHEN TO ZIMBABWE.
He was going to do a concert for the independence of Zimbabwe, and that had a really big impact on me— to understand the ideas of colonialism, the ideas of freedom, revolution, change and the struggle that Africa was going through.
It was a big topic in his life and it became a big topic in my life because of that trip. It opened up my eyes to a lot of things about Africa and the struggle that was going on there which shaped a militant ideology in my head. It formed my concepts of revolution and what music can do to help to free people.
…MY DAD GETTING CANCER.
As kids, we didn’t know what the specifics of his illness were but we knew that something was wrong. It gave me great anxiety and I would frequently hyperventilate. But my dad would comfort me by making me laugh. He’d put on a mask and make fun of the situation, trying not to take it seriously.
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 35 READER’S DIGEST
Even though he was really sick, he was trying to calm us down.
…BECOMING A FATHER WAS ALWAYS A BIG DREAM FOR ME. It’s a big thing for us in Jamaica. I was really young when I had my first child, 18 or 19. I didn’t know or understand enough what being a “father” meant. So for me it was more like, “Woohoo, I did a ‘man’ thing, I became a man .”
I grew up in a polygamous community. Our family structure wasn’t anything like the Western concept of family. My father was married but he had other children outside of wedlock and this was the example I saw growing up.
So when I had my first child, I didn’t see it as that big of a responsibility. I thought it was the woman’s responsibility and I could just go hang out and play ball. I expected that the girl would make sure everything was be in place. It wasn’t until later in life that I understood what a big responsibility
it is and got really involved as a father in the child’s life.
…COLLABORATING WITH WOODY HARRELSON. He came up to my house one day to hang out. I was in my home studio, working on a song about marijuana called “Wild and Free”. I was like, “Yo, Woody, can you sing?” And he was like, “Yeah, I’ll try”. So we did it and I liked it and it came out on the record. It was one of the funniest, most spontaneous collaborations I’ve ever done.
…MEETING MY WIFE, ORLY. I was doing a show in LA and she was my agent’s assistant at the time. We had an instant connection. I was searching for something then. I’d gone down the road of having different women, but I never really liked it, it never really uplifted me. So it was a time of transition; I was exploring music in a different way, exploring myself, exploring my creativity, so when I met her, I was in a space of searching for
I REMEMBER…
36
something else, both personally and creatively. And she fell into that space. When we shook hands, we didn’t let go, it was so comfortable. I was holding a stranger’s hand but all I could think was, Why does this hand feel so comfortable in mine? It was just so normal and right.
…UNDERSTANDING THE PERSON
I HAVE BECOME AND AM BECOMING. From where I started as a human being to where I am now, I’m very proud of my growth as a person. I’m proud of my inner voice, my consciousness that I allow to speak to me truthfully and to correct
me when I’m wrong—that helps me squash my ego. I’m proud of being my own psychologist. I’m still a work in progress but generally speaking I feel like I’m a good person and I can look at myself objectively and say, “Yeah, you’re a good person.” n
As told to Eva Mackevic
Ziggy Marley will be performing at the House of Common festival in London on August 26. For tickets, visit festicket.com
Ziggy with his wife Orly and their children
READER’S DIGEST SEPTEMBER 2019 • 37 TUFF GONG WORLDWIDE
Couples aged 50+
Protect your home from future
Care Home Fees
Does this sound familiar to you?
“We’ve made our Wills, leaving everything to each other first and then to the children.”
These are known as Mirror Wills. Sounds reassuring enough, doesn’t it? But your children could end up with very little - or even nothing at all.
If your surviving spouse has to go into care, they will have to use their assets to pay for their care until they get down to the lower limit. Therefore, it’s not a good idea to leave your half share of the home to your surviving partner but instead leave them the USE of your share. This can be achieved by making new Grandparent Wills.
These legitimate steps must be taken while you are both alive and in reasonably good mental health. It is therefore important for couples to act NOW!
Most of our clients come to us having already made standard Mirror Wills, or they’ve been meaning to make a Will but simply haven’t got around to it. With Grandparent Wills, yourself and your spouse/partner each leave your half share of the home to the children in Trust, but state that they are not to receive it during the lifetime of the surviving spouse/ partner.
This half would then NOT be included in any future means test calculations for care fees. The surviving spouse is free to sell their share of the home, raise cash or move house. Your children are
powerless to intervene but simply have to wait for their inheritance, as they would have done previously.
powerless to intervene but simply have to wait for their inheritance, as they would have done previously.
‘We’ve worked hard and saved all our lives.
‘We’ve worked hard and saved all our lives.
Why should the Local Authority get it all?’
Why should the Local Authority get it all?’
April King Legal have prepared a jargon-free guide to protecting your hard-earned assets. Get in touch for your FREE copy today. Your details remain confidential and will never be passed to any third party.
April King Legal have prepared a jargon-free guide to protecting your hard-earned assets. Get in touch for your FREE copy today. Your details remain confidential and will never be passed to any third party.
This invaluable information guide explains why we do NOT recommend giving the house to your children/trust during your lifetime (deliberate deprivation)
This invaluable information guide explains why we do NOT recommend giving the house to your children/trust during your lifetime (deliberate deprivation)
or selling up and moving into an annex in their garden!
or selling up and moving into an annex in their garden!
It also includes details of Lasting Power of Attorney and how our special Grandparent Wills help prevent your children and grandchildren from losing their inheritance due to a child’s divorce, remarriage or financial difficulties.
It also includes details of Lasting Power of Attorney and how our special Grandparent Wills help prevent your children and grandchildren from losing their inheritance due to a child’s divorce, remarriage or financial difficulties.
April King has prepared a FREE, no obligation, information pack which is available by visiting aprilking.co.uk or by calling us free on
April King has prepared a FREE, no obligation, information pack which is available by visiting aprilking.co.uk or by calling us free on
0800 044 3707
0800 044 3707
April King has offices nationwide. Visit our website to find your nearest one.
April King has offices nationwide. Visit our website to find your nearest one.
Lines open Mon-Fri 8am-8pm, Sat & Sun 9am-6pm
Lines open Mon-Fri 8am-8pm, Sat & Sun 9am-6pm
© April King Legal 2019
© April King Legal 2019
Paul King, Head of April King Legal
Paul King, Head of April King Legal
AInvestigating easy bruising in adults
Black And Blue
by Samantha Rideout
lot of people notice, as they get older, that they bruise more easily than they used to. If you’re among them, you needn’t necessarily worry. Known medically as “contusions”, bruises are usually caused by capillaries (small blood vessels) breaking and bleeding under your skin. With age, your capillaries naturally grow more fragile, and your skin and fat tissues get thinner and less effective at cushioning them against thumps and bumps.
At any stage of life, most bruises are harmless and don’t need treatment: your body will reabsorb
the spilled blood, usually within a few weeks. Placing an ice pack against a new contusion can reduce its spread, according to Dr Paola Pasquali, a member of the European Academy of Dermatology and Venereology. “Once the bruise has been there for more than 48 hours, applying warm compresses can help speed healing,” she says.
However, if you keep seeing welldefined purple bruises in places where you’ve taken a lot of sun over the years, you may have actinic purpura, a condition that results from a combination of UV-ray
HEALTH 40 • SEPTEMBER 2019
photo: © t yler o lson/ s hutterstock
damage and ageing. But again, it’s benign. If you ever want to camouflage bruising, Pasquali says, use whichever hue is complementary to it on the colour wheel. For instance, a green-tinted concealer followed by a skin-coloured one should do the trick for reddishpurple blemishes.
ICE A NEW BRUISE FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES TO LIMIT THE INTERNAL BLEEDING
Getting older aside, some people simply bruise more than others. A tendency to turn black and blue from minor injuries seems to run in some families, and as a general rule, women tend to be more susceptible than men. (Scientists are still exploring precisely why.)
For another possible explanation, look to your medications. “The long-term use of oral or topical corticosteroids (anti-inflammatory drugs prescribed for arthritis and eczema, among other conditions) can cause the skin to thin, making it more prone to bruising,” explains Dr Pasquali.
Drugs that reduce blood clotting (such as aspirin, warfarin and rivaroxaban) are also common
culprits. They make it so that capillary bleeding takes longer to stop, resulting in bigger and more noticeable marks. This doesn’t automatically mean you should stop your prescription, particularly if you’re taking medication to control the risk of life-threatening events, such as heart attack or stroke.
Do discuss the matter with your doctor, though. “Changing the dose or type of medication might be considered,” says Dr Jecko Thachil, co-author of a 2017 British Medical Journal article about easy bruising in adults. “And the doctor should determine whether the medication is indeed causing the problem.” To this end, they might want to take a detailed medical history from you.
Although bruises are usually no cause for alarm, there are exceptions. If you have one that’s severely swollen and painful, rather than just mildly puffy and sore, your injury might be a sprain or fracture that requires attention. You should also talk with your doctor if you suddenly get a lot of bruises, if they don’t fade away with time or if they keep showing up for no apparent reason—especially if it’s in less injury-prone areas, such as your back, torso or face. “They could be a sign of medical problems such as scurvy, leukemia, kidney disease or liver failure,” says Pasquali.
In short, follow the same rule that applies to any other bodily change: when in doubt, check it out. n
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 41
FOR HOPE KNEES AGEING NEW
Knee-replacement surgery can dramatically lessen pain and return you to the activities you love, but it’s not the answer for everyone
By Richard Laliberte
HEALTH 77 43
Apower drill whirs noisily—shavings curl from the bit as it bores a precise hole. Cement oozes from a caulking gun to join two surfaces. A hammer whacks repeatedly on metal. Behind the workers, a busy crew shares measurements and part sizes.
It's the sounds of renovation, but it's not a new kitchen. In a hospital in Philadelphia, a medical team led by orthopaedic surgeon Dr Matthew Austin is replacing a knee joint. It's his fifth surgery of the day.
Three hours after surgery wraps up, Ralph Gabriel, then 69, the construction-business owner upon whom those tools whirred and banged, is awake and joking with his family. He didn't want surgery. But years of tile installation had destroyed his right knee, creating constant pain. ''You have to have the will to get it done," Gabriel says.
Lessening The Pain
The human knee is particularly vulnerable to wear. Every step, every jump, every crossing of the legs, puts stress on the joint. When you combine the active lifestyle of the over-50 population and longer life spans, it's no wonder that an increasing number of people are experiencing knee pain. There are many short-term remedies, such as weight loss, physical therapy, injections and supplements, but for a
perpetually painful or arthritic knee, the go-to solution is to replace it.
Put simply, an artificial knee works as a multidirectional hinge that connects the bottom of your femur (the upper leg bone) to the tibia (the shinbone). To install it, surgeons remove damaged cartilage and bone and connect the artificial knee to your bones. The surgery takes about an hour and is done with the patient under local or general anesthesia.
Doctors can choose from more than 150 sizes and variations of artificial knees. Most are made with polished titanium or a cobalt-chrome alloy, plus high-grade plastics, and can last for decades. For most patients, the type of implant is probably irrelevant, many experts say. “The key is to trust that your surgeon is familiar with the device being used,” says Dr Stephen Kelly, a joint-replacement surgeon at New England Orthopaedic Surgeons in Springfield, Massachusetts.
When Surgery Isn’t The Answer
Few would dispute that knee replacements are generally safe and, in most cases, appropriate. But not all doctors are convinced that replacement is the best answer for many patients.
One study looked at the level of patient-reported pain and knee function, along with X-ray evidence of arthritis, in people who got total
NEW HOPE FOR KNEES 44 • SEPTEMBER 2019
photo, previous spread: ©shutterstock
knee-replacement surgery. The conclusion: About a third of the procedures were "inappropriate" using a standard classification system developed in Spain.
A 2015 follow-up study found that surgeries classified as inappropriate yielded little or no benefit in relieving pain or improving function. That is, patients with mildly bad knees had much less to gain from knee-replacement surgery than those with severe pain or bone-onbone arthritis did.
“You don't leap out of bed afterward,” says Dr Nortin M. Hadler, who is emeritus professor of medicine at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “In addition to the
inevitable risks of surgery, you have months of rehab ahead of you.”
What To Know Before Saying Yes Or No
Keep in mind these four important concerns before you schedule your knee replacement.
1. There is no clear standard. Surprisingly, there are no definitive criteria to determine whether you should undergo surgery, explains Daniel Riddle, a professor of physical therapy at Virginia Commonwealth University. Doctors assess three variables: pain, limits on daily activities, and visible evidence of bone damage. Only the last of the three can be measured objectively.
Ask your doctor to gauge how your symptoms compare with those of others, using a standardised scale that can be compared with research. The Knee Injury and Osteoarthritis Outcome Score is one example. "I'd want to know if my symptoms are considered mild, moderate, or severe, and what I can expect a year from now,” Riddle says.
2. Expectations vary.
In one European study, 93 per cent of patients were generally satisfied five years after surgery. But most also reported that they had expected more. Only one-third of those who considered sports important were pleased with their results.
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 45 READER’S DIGEST
photo: © getty images
And about 20 per cent of patients will have long-term pain, suggests one study. Ralph Gabriel, now 73, is one of them. Post-surgery, he has been in constant pain, he says, and nothing he has tried so far—extensive physical therapy, electrical stimulation, overthe-counter painkillers—has helped.
Ask your surgeon detailed questions, specific to your daily activities, about what you should expect after surgery. Most surgeons say you may have to forgo high impact hobbies (such as singles tennis), because they could prematurely shorten implant life.
3. Recovery takes time. "You have to work hard to get better from this operation," Dr Kelly says. That means six to eight weeks of rehabilitation and physical therapy
to regain range of motion and rebuild muscles and ligaments that stabilise and support the knee.
Even with modern rehab techniques, one study found that a third of patients didn't have measurable improvements in pain six months after surgery. Another found that one in eight patients still had moderate to severe pain one year on. In the latter study, however, almost all patients felt satisfied with their operations five years out. Dr Kelly recommends that anxious patients visit a physical therapist before surgery to discuss rehab.
SYMPTOMS THAT MAY SIGNAL IT'S TIME TO ACT
JOINT-PAIN SEVERITY STIFFNESS
LIMPING MUSCLE WEAKNESS
SWELLING
LIMITED RANGE OF MOTION
Research suggests that you'll do best with a surgeon who does more than 50 knee-replacement operations a year. High- and lowvolume surgeons had similar results on pain relief, one study found. But surgeons who do six or fewer knee replacements a year in low-volume hospitals may be less skilled at the soft tissue fine-tuning needed to achieve normal motion and full function. In that same study, patients of low-volume surgeons were twice as likely to score poorly on function measures such as being able to fully extend their knees two years on.
Ask your surgeon about his or her outcomes, complication rates, infection rates and re-admissions. Don't settle for an answer from your surgeon citing national averages: you want their rate. The number should be around two per cent or lower.
46 • SEPTEMBER 2019 NEW HOPE FOR KNEES
4. Risks are small but serious. The odds of having a major complication from knee-replacement surgery are relatively low. Few people assume they'll be among the fraction of those who have more serious complications such as blood clots. "That's why discussion about risks needs to be more substantial than simply signing a consent form," Riddle says. "You need to have a detailed conversation with your GP."
The earlier you discuss possible complications with your GP, the better, Dr Hadler says. "Once the mindset is, 'I need this,' you don't hear the risk, you hear the benefit," he says."
The Latest Technologies Scientists are looking for better solutions that improve outcomes for knee-replacement surgery or bypass it with less invasive procedures. Here are some options that have emerged.
says Dr Steven Haas, chief of knee service at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York.
“Partial” Surgeries: surgeons switch out just one part of the knee for an implant, leaving healthy cartilage, bone, and ligaments intact on the rest of the knee. Recovery tends to be quicker. “The trade-off is that partial knee replacements fail at a significantly higher rate than total knee replacements, " Dr Haas says.
Robotic Surgery: robotic systems can help surgeons position implants more precisely and consistently. “The surgeon controls the tool, and the robot keeps him from going outside the area he wants to cut,” says Jeremy Suggs, engineering manager at the ECRI Institute, a Philadelphia nonprofit that independently researches medical devices. Doctors most often use robotic systems for partial knee replacements that require extra precision to preserve ligaments.
Patient-Specific Instruments: digital imaging creates tailormade instruments that surgeons use just once to guide cuts and implant placement so they better match and preserve a patient’s anatomy. “It makes the operation shorter and more efficient,”
Arthroscopic Procedures: people get “scoped” in a procedure called partial meniscectomy. It entails a surgeon going into the knee through a “keyhole” incision, to trim and smooth jagged edges of torn meniscus, a layer of cartilage that cushions bones in the joint. Some studies, however, have
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 47 READER’S DIGEST
found that this procedure produces no better results than sham surgery in which orthopaedists scope the knee but don’t fix anything.
“That’s made a lot of surgeons cautious about recommending arthroscopy for patients with arthritis of the knee," says Dr Craig Della Valle, an orthopedic surgeon and chief of
adult reconstructive surgery at Rush University Medical Center.
Whether the balance of risk and reward steers you toward kneereplacement surgery depends on many factors, but it ultimately comes down to your tolerance for one type of discomfort over another. n
SOME OF THE MOST COMMON COMPLICATIONS
While knee-replacement surgery usually goes well, complications do occur. Read on to learn which problems are most prevalent
FAILED IMPLANTS
Prosthetics can pop out of the joint or wear down, releasing tiny particles of implant material. In osteolysis, particles trigger inflammation that can weaken bones and cause implants to come loose over time. About ten per cent of all joint replacements eventually fail and need to be re-done.
INFECTIONS
An infection can be devastating, potentially destroying the function of the joint and, in the worst cases, threatening the patient’s leg or even life. Infections occur in only one to two
and half per cent of cases, and doctors work to keep risks low with measures such as giving patients preventive antibiotics.
BLOOD CLOTS
Clots are triggered by inflammation that occurs during healing—a process that boosts the risk of having a heart attack as much as 31 times for people 60 and
older in the two weeks following surgery, according to a study in JAMAArchivesofInternal Medicine. Knee patients routinely take blood thinners to reduce this risk.
NERVE INJURY Nerves can be damaged as a result of complications of anaesthesia, or the surgeon could damage a nerve during the operation. Both scenarios are rare, though, occurring in less than one per cent of cases. Nerve injuries can cause pain and numbness, but they generally improve over time, though not always.
48 • SEPTEMBER 2019 NEW HOPE FOR KNEES
reprinted from the february-march 2017 issue of aarp the magazine. © 2017 aarp all rights reserved.
Stairlift experts expose truth to public about stairlift prices!
LATEST STAIRLIFT REPORT
warns consumers of up to 50% price swings + reveals where REAL savings are!
ARECENT market survey has created alarm over the different prices being offered to the public for stairlifts. In some cases, variations could be as much as an incredible 50%. In order to ensure members of the public are not being mislead, a consumer watchdog group has commissioned an in-depth report into the UK stairlift market.
PROTECTING THE PUBLIC
The appointed team of experts revealed: ‘When people are first considering a stairlift there are a number of things to be aware of. Our survey showed that ‘price’ often had a big influence on decision making.
Expert team reports that consumers are paying different prices for the same stairlift
Yet this could serve as a serious distraction to other important issues such as customer suitability, reliable performance and service support, etc. Many people were not fully informed of the facts and left on their own without proper guidance. Naturally, this lead to confusion and poor decision making.
ADVICE YOU CAN TRUST
What people required was a handbook giving clear, uncomplicated
send me my FREE Stairlift Prices Compared Guide TO ENSURE CORRECT DELIVERY WITHOUT DELAY, PLEASE COMPLETE ALL SECTIONS MARKED * IN BLOCK CAPITALS PLEASE. * Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms * Address * Postcode * D.O.B. * Tel No. (In case we need to confirm address) Mobile Email
get
FREEEPHONE
FREEPOST
D D M M Y Y Mobility Aids Information Service (S392PC) FREEPOST LON15651, London SE1 1BS £4.99 FREE The information we will send you will be from our authorised stairlift practice for your area. Your information will only be used to deliver our service and as set out in our Privacy Policy: www.mobinfo.co.uk Return this coupon today for your FREE GUIDE For your FREE Guide please FREEPHONE 0800 074 3961 and quote: S392PC. Lines open 8-8pm weekdays. 10-4pm weekends or www.mobinfo.co.uk or FREEPOST coupon
Please
guidance on every aspect of sourcing the most suitable stairlift at the most competitive price. In short, how to ensure you’re getting the right model that’s suitable for you without paying over the odds. To
your FREE copy of this indispensable guide, simply
0800 074 3961,
the coupon or visit www.mobinfo.co.uk
Back-To-School Inspiration
When you were young, you got ready for the new school year with new clothes, a haircut and a sensible routine. As an adult you can make a fresh start too
Get on top of health checks. Be proactive about your health. This means catching up on any recommended tests you’ve been putting off, such as cervical smears, mammograms, bone density and that over-fifties check-up your GP’s surgery offers you. Don’t forget to schedule a trip to the dentist and make sure you get your eyes tested if you haven’t been to the optician’s for a couple of years. You might want to spread out all those appointments over several months. Just make sure you set yourself a deadline.
Set new fitness goals or start a new sport. And then find a regular slot for it in your busy timetable. There are lots of
Susannah Hickling is twice winner of the Guild of Health Writers Best Consumer
Magazine Health Feature
new classes starting up in September, so there’s plenty of choice if you want to get active. What’s more, the weather’s still good enough to begin an outdoor activity, such as running, cycling or even a gentle ramble with a friend. Regular exercise not only sets us on the road to health, but also helps us deal with stress and boost energy levels.
Refresh your wardrobe to make you feel empowered. Getting some new outfits and a fresh trim at the hairdresser’s helps you feel stylish and, quite simply, a whole lot better about yourself. If you’re strapped for cash, buy one item to complement something you already have, or an accessory.
Make new friendships or renew the ones you have. There’s ample evidence that friends bring all kinds of benefits—from lowering stress levels to actually helping you live longer. And that’s
50 • SEPTEMBER 2019
HEALTH
before you even consider the social and mental health advantages. Join a new club with like-minded people, or reconnect with an existing pal by making time for a quick coffee or picking up the phone. And make sure it’s not just a one-off—have regular contact with your friends to reap the health benefits.
Get organised.
Feeling that your life and possessions are out of control is very stressful. Use this post-holiday period to tidy up some of the key areas in your home. It could be your hall, your living area or that spot on your kitchen counter where everyone dumps stuff. Keep it manageable—even bringing order to a small space can make you feel as if a weight has been lifted.
Go to bed earlier.
You need at least seven hours of sleep for good health. The good news is that September is the best month to reset your rest routine. The days start to get shorter and colder and we get less vitamin D, which makes us want to hibernate. Put down all devices—phones and tablets—45 minutes before lights out and banish all screens, including the telly, from your bedroom. Soothe your mind ready for a good night’s zzzs by reading, taking a bath or meditating before bed. n
Eliminate Eczema
It’s easy to forget that our largest organ is our skin, and when it’s dry, itchy, inflamed and even weeping as a result of eczema, life can feel truly miserable
Atopic eczema can start at any age and it’s not contagious. In fact, you can blame your genes for the condition. It runs in families and you might also suffer from asthma or hayfever, as the conditions are linked. They’re all triggered by an allergic reaction. Allergens include heat, dust, pets, detergents and other chemicals. But stress doesn’t help either and something as minor as having a cold could cause a skin flare-up.
When eczema hits, it’s best to treat it early as it’s more difficult to deal with when it becomes severe. It usually affects the hands and creases of the body, such as the inside of elbows and the backs of knees. There’s no cure but emollients—moisturising treatments—help to keep your skin from drying out by creating a protective layer. This is best for mild eczema.
For a more serious flare-up, you should consult your GP, who can
prescribe you a corticosteroid to reduce inflammation. Antihistamines can help too, relieving itching and aiding sleep.
There’s also plenty you can do to help yourself. First, keep your skin well moisturised—always using an unperfumed cream and smoothing the cream on in the direction of hair growth. Avoid irritants like perfumed shower gels and bubble baths. Be sure to use non-rubber gloves when you do the housework and wear natural fibres, such as cotton day-to-day. When you wash your clothes, ensure you’re using a non-biological detergent and put them through two rinses.
Steer clear of obvious allergens, if you can. You usually know, for example, if pets set you off. Stay cool, as getting too hot can make your eczema itch more.
And, whatever you do, do your best to resist that temptation to scratch. It’s likely to only aggravate the itching further. n
HEALTH 52 • SEPTEMBER 2019
Ask The Expert: Sexual health
Dr Sharron Hinchliff
Dr Sharron Hinchliff is the creator of agesexandyou.com, which promotes better sexual health in older adults
How did you become an expert in sexual health among older people? My first job after my PhD was as a project manager and researcher looking at older people’s sexual health and quality of life. It was the first study of its kind in the UK. I feel privileged that people share these really private stories with me.
What are the main sexual difficulties affecting older people? Not everyone experiences difficulties or is sexually active, but the main ones tend to be functional changes related to health conditions, medication, or ageing, such as erectile difficulties, dry orgasm and a change in orgasm frequency/intensity in men. As well as vaginal dryness, menopausal women can experience fatigue, which has an impact on sexual desire.
What advice can you give to help resolve them? Couples who talk about sexual issues
manage a lot better. If the difficulty doesn’t get better, the GP is often the next port of call. We recommend taking a print-out from a website such as agesexandyou.com into your consultation to start the conversation.
What should older adults bear in mind when starting a new relationship? Body insecurities can have an impact on sexual self-esteem for men as well as women. Another recurring issue is family, for example children not being happy about the relationship.
What do they need to know about sexually transmitted infections (STIs)? STIs are increasing in the over 65s. Gonorrhoea has risen 164 per cent in men and 111 per cent in women in four years. Condoms protect from disease. It’s good to have an early conversation about sexual history, and be tested by your GP. You can also order discreet tests at NHSbacked sexual health website sh24. org.uk. n
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 53 READER’S DIGEST
Acts Of Kindness
This month Dr Max Pemberton considers that in hospitals, the most humane course of action isn’t always a palatable one…
Ididn’t know if Mr Telford could feel any pain but I remember staring into his eyes, looking for a flicker of emotion as he lay on the bed. I stood tentatively listening to his chest with my stethoscope. I couldn’t help but think I was doing something wrong, but, uneasily, prescribed another course of antibiotics. A nurse came in and begun washing him. Again, his face showed no sign that he was still alive. I helped the nurse tug him over on to his side while she washed his back. He was breathing heavily and each breath gurgled and bubbled with the fluid that had accumulated in his lungs. He was developing pneumonia. I looked down at his arms, almost disbelieving that only a few weeks ago he had been on the local golf course, playing a round.
Max is a hospital doctor, author and columnist. He currently works full time in mental health for the NHS. His latest book is a self-help guide to using CBT to stop smoking
Now they hung like dead weights from his body. Mr Telford had never finished his game. Instead, half way round the course, he had a massive stroke, which had killed off most of his brain. He was 54. Cruelly, the part of his brain which controlled the functions vital for life—his breathing and heart—had remained intact. He was, in lay terms, “brain dead”. I spent several months working on the stroke ward in my first year as a doctor. The far end of the ward was reserved for the serious cases; those the doctors knew would never leave hospital again, those for whom their stroke had obliterated so much of their brain there was no hope of any recovery. Certainly, it was harrowing. But the medical and nursing staff did their best to liven the place up. There was a clear policy that every patient should be treated with respect despite the fact that many were unable to communicate and required everything done for them. In a condition that strips people of their humanity, there were constant attempts by the staff to give it back.
HEALTH 54 • SEPTEMBER 2019
It seems strange to me now, looking back, to realise that while working in such a compassionate environment, I was party to something considered controversial. In fact, it’s something that occurs on countless hospital wards up and down the country but isn’t widely discussed.
Two days later, Mr Telford died. If I’m honest, we killed him. He died because we didn’t treat his chest infection, something within our powers to cure. Undoubtedly he would have contracted another one, and then another one, and over a protracted course he would have become increasingly weak until he died anyway. After much discussion, it was decided that it wasn’t in his best interests to continue treatment so the antibiotics I’d prescribed were stopped. We were, in effect, deciding
he would die. But at the time, while the consultants sat ashen-faced discussing options with Mr Telford’s family, it seemed the most humane choice. I still think it was the right one. He’d only survived this long because of medicine, and it seemed wholly appropriate that at some point medicine should re-evaluate its role in his care. These decisions are common in hospitals. No one likes to talk about it, and we pretend that it’s not a problem. Whatever one’s views on euthanasia, doctors should recognise that they regularly aid the death of their patients. The alternative is that sometimes, by treating people’s illnesses we can, perversely, inflict more suffering. The best thing I did for Mr Telford was when, without a flicker of emotion, I crossed off the antibiotics I’d prescribed for him. n
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 55 ILLUSTRATION
BY FRANCES MURPHY
The Doctor Is In
Dr Max Pemberton
Q: My wonderful wife begins chemotherapy soon. She won’t be in hospital overnight but will have to spend most of the day on the ward. Do you have any advice for making the experience less unpleasant? We’re both apprehensive.
– Muhammad, 52
A: Your letter really touched me. What a thoughtful and kind man you are. Chemotherapy can be incredibly tough but it’s important to remember that it’s saving someone’s life. It’s understandable to be worried but it’s often helpful to remind each other that it’s killing the cancer—several patients I’ve worked with call it “medicine” rather than chemo because it’s less scary. There are different types of chemotherapy and each has different side effects. Some make the person lose their hair, for example, while others might not. Ask your consultant or cancer nurse for a list of the side effects so you can prepare. I used to work with children with cancer and
became a great believer in treats. Before they started treatment we’d draw up a list of their favourite food, places to go, films and things they wanted to do or see. Plan a treat for as soon as your wife starts to feel better after each session. Take photographs to remind one another on the days of chemo and when she’s recovering, of what fun you have to look forward to.
Remember to also take care of yourself. Looking after someone having chemotherapy can be exhausting and distressing at times. Don’t burn out—your wife will need you for many months. Take people up on offers to help and do something on your own or with friends. I suspect from the fact that you took the time to write that you already have a close and loving relationship and simply having you by her side will be an enormous help. Take a look at the Macmillan website macmillan.org.uk. n
Got a health question for our resident doctor? Email it confidentially to askdrmax@ readersdigest.co.uk
HEALTH
56 • SEPTEMBER 2019 ILLUSTRATION BY JAVIER
MUÑOZ
the science of good bone structure
You may think bone is solid or fixed. In fact it is living tissue, in constant change. To keep bones healthy you must have the right nutrients in your daily diet.
Calcium is essential to help maintain normal bones, as is vitamin D, which is necessary for the normal absorption and utilisation of calcium. But did you realise magnesium and zinc are important for bones too? Both men and women need to look after their bones throughout their life, and remember it’s never too early or too late to start a bone-friendly way of life!
FIZZ
LIQUID
Excellent taste. Ideal for children or those who have difficulty swallowing tablets. Available in 200ml and 500ml.
Makes a tasty drink. A convenient, refreshing orange flavoured effervescent drink.
Healthy tip
Leafy greens contain minerals such as magnesium and calcium
Leafy and ORIGINAL
More than just calcium. Provides calcium carefully balanced with vitamin D, zinc and magnesium which all contribute to the maintenance of normal bones.
Healthy tip:
Sardines contain high levels of vitamin D & calcium
of
Healthy tip:
CHEWABLE
Almonds are a great source of magnesium and zinc
Easy to take. Provides the original formula in a great tasting peppermint and orange flavoured chewable tablet.
*UK’s No.1 bone health supplement brand. Source: Nielsen GB ScanTrack Total Coverage Value and Unit Retail Sales 52 w/e 18 May 2019. To verify please contact advalidation@vitabiotics.com.
No1 BONES
FOR * 2019-07-30_ADOSTCONP_E_2
UK’s
,
Holland & Barrett, supermarkets, chemists, health stores & www.osteocare.com
From
Superdrug,
Osteocare® supports
Play Your Way To A Better Memory
Our memory expert Jonathan Hancock explains why games are good for brains of all ages
THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE that the first game you ever played was a memory game. An adult covered their face with their hands, stayed hidden, then reappeared with a smile: “Peek-aboo!” You had to hold onto a picture of the face when it vanished, so that you’d recognise it when it returned. To understand the experience, and resolve it happily, you absolutely relied on your memory. Beyond babyhood, many other games can set us up with valuable memory techniques. Here are two great memory games for kids and adults alike.
In Granny Went To Market, players have to invent and remember an evergrowing shopping list. Unusual items tend to be the easiest to recall—so you should really choose boring ones that your opponents are likely to forget! You’ll also boost your chances if you link objects to the people who have chosen them, or turn the sequence into a memorable story in your mind.
In The Tray Game, you have to work out which item has been removed from a collection in front of you. It hones your observation and
concentration, both vital aspects of remembering. It’s also a good chance to practise organising information. If you pair objects in funny and surprising ways, you’ll find it much easier to spot when one has gone.
Both of these games let you try out an active approach to learning, and prompt you to find ways to make remembering easier. They also deliver the pleasurable sensation that comes from scouring your brain for something and finding it. It’s important to recall that feeling, however old you get! So keep playing. There are plenty of memory apps available for smart phones and tablets, and strategy games like bridge and chess are also excellent ways to keep your memory sharp.
Teach memory games to the children in your life but also keep playing them yourself. Continually challenge and strengthen your own mental skills with a playful, ambitious, winning approach to memory. n
Jonathan’s new book, The Study Book, is out now from John Murray Learning
58 • SEPTEMBER 2019 HEALTH
As seen on TV
forPricesheld 2years!
The fuss-free direct cremation that saves 60%* of the cost of a funeral
Pure Cremation is the simple, low-cost alternative to a traditional funeral. We look after the cremation, leaving you free to say goodbye your way.
CALL TO REQUEST YOUR FREE GUIDE
We can help you in two ways:
● Take out a cremation funeral plan
● Arrange a cremation now
Call our friendly team today on 0808 501 6262 or visit: purecremation.co.uk/digest
*Sun Life Cost of Dying Report 2018. For full terms and conditions please visit our website. Calls to this number may be recorded for monitoring and training purposes.
RD0819
Shhh! These beautiful reading spots are best enjoyed with no one for company but the inhabitants of your favourite fictional worlds…
BY ANNA WALKER
LIBRARIES
60
Library of Birmingham
Rising up from the city centre like gleaming, futuristic Lego blocks, the thoroughly modern exterior of the Library of Birmingham belies its traditional ethos—to provide visitors and locals alike with free education and entertainment. Not only is this library the largest public cultural space in Europe, but it also plays home to several levels of rooftop gardens. They're the perfect place to enjoy the wind in your hair—and the gentle flipping of pages—while taking a break from studying or sight-seeing.
In the year the library opened, 2.7 million visitors flooded through its doors, and the space remains the 11th most popular visitor attraction in the UK. Paying a visit yourself? Don’t miss the book rotunda, where you’ll find yourself surrounded by colourful bookshelves on all sides, a true bibliophile’s dream.
Says senior library services manager, David Stokes, “Surrounded by illuminated fountains, a pool and trees, the library offers a mixture of stunning architecture, unparalleled views from two garden terraces, the world-famous Shakespeare Room and free exhibitions.”
birmingham.gov.uk/libraries
British BEST OF INSPIRE IAN DAGNALL / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO SEPTEMBER 2019 • 61
Women’s Library, Glasgow
Don’t be surprised if, just minutes after entering the Glasgow Women’s Library, you’re offered a cup of tea and a slice of cake—this might just be the friendliest little library in Britain.
A vast array of books on women’s issues throughout history line the shelves of the only accredited museum in the UK dedicated to women’s lives, histories and achievements and a number of events across the year transform this library into a vibrant social hub, with creative writing classes, performance groups, craft sessions and more.
As well as books, the library is home to an array of artefacts including Suffragette memorabilia.
In line with their foremothers, the library’s key aim is to empower women, with services teaching literacy, numeracy, and tackling a range of issues including poverty, sexuality and surviving violence.
Says Sue John, the library's enterprise development manager, “Glasgow Women’s Library is a national treasure—welcoming and open to all.”
womenslibrary.org.uk
BEST OF BRITISH 62 • SEPTEMBER 2019
Chained Library, Hereford
Game of Thrones fans, this is one for you. Remember those chained books of the Citadel? Well it’s not hard to see where George RR Martin sourced his inspiration when you step inside the chained library of Hereford Cathedral.
In the middle ages, through to the 17th century, when this library was first built, the practice of chaining books was commonplace. Mass printers had not yet been invented, making the bound written word an incredibly precious commodity.
With 229 books, Hereford Cathedral has the largest surviving chained library in the world and its
oldest tome was written way back in the 8th century. History buffs can also enjoy a display of the “Mappa Mundi”, the largest surviving medieval world map, which contains more than a thousand fascinating drawings and inscriptions of cities, Biblical events, animals and mythical creatures.
Says librarian Dr Rosemary Firman, “Although small, our collections are incredibly diverse and cover a huge period of history. We are a treasure house of intellectual riches.” herefordcathedral.org/chainedlibrary
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 63
READER’S DIGEST
Liverpool Central Library
Far from the dingy corners of libraries of old, Liverpool Central Library has an airy flair. With white walls, an open plan and a beautiful view upward to a central glass dome roof, it’s easy to while away the hours in this gloriously contemporary facility. But with three million items in its archives and another million on display over 22 miles of shelving, this incredible work of architecture is
more than just a pretty picture. The library began life back in 1860 and has continued to grow ever since, with the more modern parts of the property developed in a bid to renovate in 2008. And don’t just take our word for it: Liverpool Central was voted The Bookseller’s Library of the Year in 2018. Visit liverpool.gov.uk/libraries/find-alibrary/central-library/
62
64 • SEPTEMBER 2019 BEST OF BRITISH
Sir Duncan Rice Library, Aberdeen
The interior of this thoroughly modern facility looks more like New York’s Guggenheim Museum than it does an old-fashioned study hall. Outside, the huge glass structure—made of 760 glass panels and 2,200 tons of steel—beautifully reflects the world around it, whether turning white with a pale snowscape or reflecting the orange-pink clouds of a Scottish sunset.
The Sir Duncan Rice is also conscious of its carbon footprint; designed to collect rainwater which is reused to flush its toilets, harvesting
power through photovoltaic cells on the roof and using timers to control the use of its fluorescent lighting.
Says university librarian Simon Bain, “The Sir Duncan Rice Library is a major landmark for the city of Aberdeen as well as a vital facility for the university’s students. Its striking colours and shape evoke the light and ice of the north, and the cubic exterior contrasts with the curving contours inside, which surround the atrium as it rises through the seven floors of the building.”
Visit abdn.ac.uk/library
READER’S DIGEST SEPTEMBER 2019 • 65
John Ryland, Manchester
Created over 100 years ago as a gift to Manchester and its people, the John Ryland welcomes over 250,000 visitors through its doors each year. The project began as a tribute by Enriqueta Ryland to her late husband John Ryland, Manchester’s first multi-millionaire, and has grown to become the third largest academic library in the UK, home to over a million manuscripts.
Built in an impressive neo-Gothic style, it would be easy to mistake parts of the library building for a
cathedral or worry that you’d inadvertently stumbled into the cloisters of Hogwarts.
Modern extensions to the building added since the 2000s however, are strikingly contemporary, creating a breath-taking collision of historic and cutting-edge architecture—the spectacular white atrium staircase is particularly magnificent. Regular events planned with the whole family in mind make this library one to visit time and time again. Visit library.manchester.ac.uk/rylands
76 66 BEST OF BRITISH
• SEPTEMBER 2019 PER ANDERSEN / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO
Wellcome Reading Room, London
Spend an afternoon studying in the Reading Room of London’s Wellcome Museum and you may just find yourself enjoying a side of peoplewatching with your literature. With drawing classes, pop-up exhibitions and artistic displays accompanying rows of educational books, it’s an enjoyable spot to visit, revisit and declare your number one study spot.
Comfy plush cushions line the impressive stairway and desks are tucked into snug alcoves, allowing
you the perfect spot to pause and reflect, whatever your library mission. Ever-changing exhibitions and interactive displays also offer a welcome break from reading-fatigue, though it’s hard to imagine suffering with some 1000 books, comics and magazines on the shelves. Visit wellcomecollection.org/visit-us
Do you have a favourite reading spot?
Email readersletters@readersdigest.co.uk and let us know
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 67 READER’S DIGEST
WELLCOME COLLECTION READING ROOM
Celebrated writer
Lemn Sissay MBE
(52) is known for his poetry, plays and broadcasting work. He was the official poet of the London Olympics in 2012 and won the PEN Pinter Prize for a work of outstanding literary merit in June this year
IF I RULED THE WORLD
Lemn Sissay
I’d make it a national religion to choose your own God. We’d be unified in belief that there’s a higher power. We all have different ideas of God and this super religion will decree that it’s OK to love any God in any way you choose. If God’s a stone, then God’s a stone. If God’s your child, then so be it. If you believe in not believing then believe in the God of disbelief. That you believe in something greater than yourself is all I’d ask.
I’d demand an international rethink on immigration. I migrated from my mother’s womb. What is marriage other than migration from family? What is university other than migration of ideas? Migration is at the heart of who we are. What is death other than the migration of air? The word “migration” isn’t owned by politicians. It’s part of who and what we are. To be anti-immigration is to put soap beneath the wings of a bird.
68 • SEPTEMBER 2019
Government will be judged above all by how it treats children in its care. When a child comes into the care system it’s legally parented by the government loco parentis. In that parents judge themselves by the wellbeing of their child we shall judge our government on the well-being of its child. If the child in its care is treated well then you know that other matters are being taken care of too.
All war anniversaries will also be festivals of forgiveness. I’ll never forget my first girlfriend’s grandfather stirring tea in the kitchen while the others were in the front room. “The heroes never came back,” he growled. As a gift to our future, war anniversaries will be celebrated with the acts of forgiveness a balm of remembrance.
Every country will keep a royal family. I can’t think of a better symbolic representation of a country than a family. As long as that family can’t take us to war. As long as that family has no power in government, then a family is one of the best representatives of society. It’s the heart of what a society is. The emperor of Ethiopia, The Queen of England—they are symbols of a country and its pride and its dysfunction.
I’d decree that all names have great meaning. The Chinese naming system is beautiful. A name may mean “summer” or “autumn leaves”
or “morning rainbow”. The British have some beautiful names. “Norman” may seem lumpen but means “man of the North”. Same with Ethiopian names. “Yemarseshet” means “virgin honey”. My own name “Lemn” means “why”. All names will have great meaning. Asking “what does your name mean?” will be normal.
I would give my position of ruling the world to Jude Kelly and SahleWork Zewde. Jude Kelly conceived and organised Women of The World (WOW) while she was artistic director at Southbank Centre. And Sahle-Work Zewde is president of Ethiopia. I’d give the world to women to rule and stand down. I have no doubt they would include men in their decision making process. If they can birth us I’m sure they can run the world with us as well. Period.
I would make positive discrimination mandatory. For an example of how positive discrimination works take a look at inheritance and the idea of the son before the daughter. If you want to see how positive discrimination works take a look at the editors of our national newspapers. Positive discrimination worked for them. So let’s make it work again. n As told to Anna Walker
My Name Is Why by Lemn Sissay is published by Canongate and available from August 29, £16.99.
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 69
INSPIRE
CHASING IMMORTALITY
Humans have been questioning life's limits since the dawn of time. But how close are we to catching up with death?
by Cassandra Coburn
INSPIRE 71
Getting older is something so natural and normal that we barely think about it. Whether we’re teenagers looking forward to the privileges that turning 18 brings, or thinking about saving for retirement, we don’t question that we will change, grow and age over the course of time. However, there's a growing body of scientific research that suggests that ageing might not be a biological inevitability after all. And the world has noticed. Silicon Valley is investing in companies which aim to solve the mysteries of ageing—and maybe sell us the cure
The human desire to halt ageing has a long and slightly ridiculous history. In the 13th century, philosopher Roger Bacon believed that the breath of young virgins or swallowing pearls could reverse the ageing process. In the late 19th century, the physician Charles-Édouard Brown-Séquard, who is best known for discovering hormones, claimed to have devised a different cure. He created a concoction—which he grandly named the Brown-Séquard Elixir— made mainly of the crushed testes of unfortunate guinea pigs and dogs. He injected this into his patients to, perhaps unsurprisingly, no recorded success. Then there's the myth of the Fountain of Youth: a supposedly miraculous body of water which washed age from those fortunate enough to swim in it. There have been
CHASING IMMORTALITY 72 • SEPTEMBER 2019
several supposed sightings of these waters over the centuries, driving explorers to all corners of the earth in search of it (including Juan Ponce de León, who inadvertently discovered Florida instead).
But just because none of these bizarre remedies or escapades led to a "cure" for ageing doesn’t mean scientists stopped trying to investigate it. We’re so used to ageing that it takes a minute or two to consider what an odd process it is. For no apparent reason, our bodies slowly begin to decline in very similar ways. For a long time, people thought of ageing simply as the result of "wear and tear": continuous use of our bodies inevitably led to mechanical failure and harm. They believed that just like old cars, after a certain point, bodies could no longer cope with what was being asked of them. But the difference between cars and bodies is that humans have an amazing ability to self-repair. We can fall, break a bone, and the two ends will obligingly grow back together. Why should simply being alive for longer impede this ability?
Many scientists have taken these questions into the lab in an attempt to answer them. One intriguing question was whether there was any genetic component to ageing. Because ageing is such a complex process, there was never going to be a single gene which we could switch off
to stop it. However, some researchers reasoned, very similar animals have dramatically different lifespans. For example, a rat lives for three years whereas a healthy chinchilla can live for ten. Such a difference in lifespan indicates at least some element of genetic involvement.
“A 13TH CENTURY PHILOSOPHER THOUGHT VIRGIN GIRLS' BREATH COULD REVERSE THE AGEING PROCESS"
To test this, they looked at an unlikely animal: a tiny, transparent worm called Caenorhabditis elegans. Known affectionately to those who study it as C. elegans, this millimetrelong worm has a fascinating characteristic which makes it an ideal choice of study. In the perfect conditions of a laboratory, C. elegans have a normal lifespan of around 19 days. However, if during its early development the worm is stressed— for example, by a lack of food—it can transform itself into an entirely different state known as a "dauer" form. (Dauer is a German word meaning "to endure".) Dauer worms are strikingly different from normal worms. They’re much thinner, and
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 73 READER’S DIGEST
can’t eat: a cuticle grows over their mouth as part of the transformative process. Worms can exist in this state for months. When the environment becomes less stressful, (for example, if they can sense food supplies), the worms return to their normal state and continue to live out their full lifespan as if nothing ever happened.
incredible increase in lifespan with no apparent ill-effects.
In 1993, a group of researchers led by a scientist named Cynthia Kenyon discovered that if a particular gene (daf-2) was switched off in worms, they would grow and develop as normal (ie, without entering the
There are limitations to the dauer state—the worms can only form dauers early in their developmental cycle, and they can’t become dauers more than once—but it’s still an
alternative dauer life cycle state), but their lifespan increased by about 230 per cent. Moreover, these animals behaved like young worms at ages when their normal brethren had
74 • SEPTEMBER 2019 CHASING IMMORTALITY
already died. This finding had an amazing implication: it showed that biological age (how much time we’ve been alive) and physiological age (the physical changes to our body that happen with advancing age) aren't intrinsically linked. While we can’t stop time, these results showed that physiological ageing was
something that is at least partly under genetic control. And if physiological age is under genetic control, it’s something we might be able to manipulate artificially.
Buoyed by this news, researchers worldwide continued to investigate. Over the next few decades, many further genes were discovered to play a role in ageing, and silencing them had similarly amazing effects on lifespan. Moreover, these genes were found in many different animals, from fruit flies to mice, raising the tantalising possibility that they might be found in humans as well.
“THEY DISCOVERED THAT IF A PARTICULAR GENE WAS SWITCHED OFF IN WORMS, THEIR LIFESPAN INCREASED BY 230 PER CENT"
But of course, we cannot silence genes in humans like we do in the laboratory. Instead, consumers want something like the Brown-Séquard Elixir: an anti-ageing pill. Some companies have been trying profit from these desires by unscrupulously proffering quick fixes for ageing. For example, in 2016, a US company called Ambrosia started charging patients £6,500 for blood infusions, with the chief executive officer
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 75 READER’S DIGEST
Jesse Karmazin promising that the technique “[came] pretty close” to immortality.
In early 2019, it was closed down by the FDA on the basis that it was "charging thousands of dollars for infusions that are unproven and not guided by evidence from adequate and well-controlled trials.”
If we're going to find real antiageing therapies, it's clear that the results are not going to be dramatic immediately. David Gems is a
professor of the biology of ageing at University College London, and he believes we’re not far off from developing anti-ageing therapies which help to extend our lifespan simply by ensuring we don’t succumb to the diseases of ageing. "Some people think of the goal of antiageing therapies as life extension, but that’s an odd way of looking at it. Their main action is to prevent disease. If you're successfully treated for cancer, that extends your life, but people don’t talk about the purpose
76 • SEPTEMBER 2019 CHASING IMMORTALITY
of cancer treatment as life extension. It’s pretty likely that better antiageing treatments are coming quite soon, which target larger numbers of diseases of ageing, and these will improve late-life health and probably extend life expectancy by a few years. But I think we’re a long way from treatments so powerful that they increase lifespan substantially—like by more than about five years.”
Laura Deming agrees. She’s one of the youngest fund managers in the world, a partner in US-based The Longevity Fund which invests in companies looking to slow ageing. She explained that the investors see ageing as a common underlying mechanism that increases the risk of many diseases. As such, her fund is investing in companies that aim to tackle the root causes of age-related diseases like cancer and Alzheimer’s. Investors believe in her ethos:
The Longevity Fund currently has £30m under management. Another American company which aims to investigate ageing is Calico, which is backed by Google’s parent company, Alphabet Inc. In short, people are taking the possibility of creating ageing cures seriously.
Potential cures on the horizon open us up to considering new questions that humanity has never had to face before. How long is long enough to live a good life? Deming has already considered this. She wants to give everyone in the world the choice to live healthily as long as they would like to. “Why is 80 years the correct number?” she asks. “It’s arbitrary. We want to give people the choice.”
Although immortality isn't a new longing for humanity, for the first time it seems like the science might be catching up with our desires. n
GRISLY ROYAL DEATHS
Viking leader Sigurd Eysteinsson (875-892) severed the head of the Earl of Scots and attached it to his saddle as he fled their battle. The motion of his galloping, however, caused one of the earl's teeth to scratch his leg. The wound became fatally infected.
King Adolf Frederick of Sweden (1710-1771) died after eating lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, kippers and champagne, topped off with 14 servings of his favourite dessert.
While Pyrrhus of Epirus (318-272 BC) was fighting during a civic dispute in Argos, an old woman—allegedly the mother of the soldier he was duelling—threw a tile from the rooftop where she was watching the battle, and struck a fatal blow to his head.
SOURCE: RANKER.COM
READER’S DIGEST SEPTEMBER 2019 • 77
Do you suffer from poor sleep?
The innovative Gx Suspension Pillow cradles your head and neck to give you an uninterrupted night
A NEAR tragedy has led to an amazing new development in sleep technology. When Georgia Miles was recovering from a serious accident, her father Alexander looked around everywhere for a pillow that would keep her comfortable throughout the night. A er examining countless types, Alex, a furniture and domestic product designer, decided to engineer his own.
UNIQUE BREAKTHROUGH
He made a breakthrough when he realised that all pillows spread out and atten down as the weight of the head rests on them. is attening progresses through the night, leaving the head and neck poorly supported – and sleep interrupted.
is is why many people nd themselves half awake and ‘pillow-punching’ in the middle of the night, desperately trying to get comfortable.
EXTRA COMFORT AND SUPPORT
“I can honestly say that your pillow has made the world of difference… and fully endorse your pillow as being quite unique in its ability to maintain support throughout the night.”
through the night and ensures that you get the most bene t from an undisturbed sleep.
LIFE CHANGING
One of Britain’s best loved actors, Rula Lenska, was su ciently impressed to respond: “It is rare that something advertised as unique and life changing turns out to be true!! I have a chronic back and neck situation and I can honestly say these pillows make a HUGE DIFFERENCE!!! Comfortable... supportive... and positively magical for my neck!! Congratulations! A pillow that makes a real di erence!!”
Made in Britain, the Gx pillow comes in a choice of two levels of support: Medium-So , which most people seem to prefer, or Medium-Firm for those who like a little more resistance. e pillow has already transformed the lives of thousands of people. So if you have spent a lifetime looking for the perfect pillow, your search may well be over!
INFORMATION: gxpillows/0800 316 2689
To order your great night’s sleep
9am to 6pm Mon-Sat
e innovative model that Alex designed has internal ties that hold the lling in place, and pull the pillow in and up to cradle the head and neck. is provides extra comfort and support that lasts 0800
Or order online at
Orthopaedic Surgeon, Dr Deane Halfpenny
316 2689
www.gxpillows.co.uk CALL FREEPHONE
Amazing new pillow helps thousands to sleep better
You too can sleep better! Many of us have bought pillows without finding the right one because most conventional pillows, whatever their filling, flatten throughout the night. This can lead to disturbed and broken sleep. The Gx Suspension Pillow is different. It keeps its shape and cradles the neck and head for an undisturbed night. The Gx Suspension Pillow will change the way you sleep so you wake refreshed, rejuvenated and ready for the day.
You too can sleep better! Many of us have bought pillows without finding the right one because most conventional pillows, whatever their filling, flatten throughout the night. This can lead to disturbed and broken sleep. The Gx Suspension Pillow is different. It keeps its shape and cradles the neck and head for an undisturbed night. The Gx Suspension Pillow will change the way you sleep so you wake refreshed, rejuvenated and ready for the day.
How Gx Pillows helped actor, Rula Lenska
It is rare that something advertised as unique and life changing turns out to be true!! I have a chronic back and neck situation and I can honestly say these pillows make a huge difference!! Comfortable…supportive…and positively magical for my neck!! Congratulations! Many, many thanks
Please send me the following Gx Suspension Pillows
The pillow has evolved
The pillow has evolved
With the Gx Suspension Pillow, the unique ‘double X’ internal ties resist the flattening by pulling the pillow in and up to give the extra comfort and support that so many of us are looking for. Rediscover a great night’s sleep.
With the Gx Suspension Pillow, the unique ‘double X’ internal ties resist the flattening by pulling the pillow in and up to give the extra comfort and support that so many of us are looking for. Rediscover a great night’s sleep.
Please advise if you do not wish to receive further special offers. Payment Method: Card No. A cheque payable to BEAUTIFUL SLEEP Valid from Expiry Security No. Signature Tel. No. Title Address Tel. No. Name Postcode PLEASE COMPLETE ALL BOXES IN BLOCK CAPITALS TO ENSURE CORRECT DESPATCH
27 £ 49 G x i T c a .99
uspension Pillow Pillow
Single Gx Pillows @ £27 each + FREE delivery: Twinpack Gx Pillows @ £49.99 per pack + FREE delivery Medium-soft 2 Medium-soft Please make cheques payable to Beautiful Sleep Ltd 1 Medium-soft & 1 Medium-firm Medium-firm 2 Medium-firm (quantity) (quantity) (quantity) (quantity) (quantity) TOTAL £ RD2 Address envelope to: FREEPOST BEAUTIFUL SLEEP No other details/stamp required! PLEASE QUOTE RD2 SPECIAL OFFER for READERS DIGEST readers FOR FREE DELIVERY* * UK mainland and NI only, please call or visit website for other areas, terms and conditions apply please see website. How Gx Pillows helped actor, Rula Lenska
Please advise if you do not wish to receive further special offers. Payment Method: Card No. A cheque payable to BEAUTIFUL SLEEP Valid from Expiry Security No. Signature Tel. No. Title Address Tel. No. Name Postcode PLEASE COMPLETE ALL BOXES IN BLOCK CAPITALS TO ENSURE CORRECT DESPATCH
TM SINGLE PILLOW
TWIN PACK NOW £ 49 £54 G x Suspe n s i o n PillowT M 30 night’s comfort guarantee * .99
It is rare that something advertised as unique and life changing turns out to be true!! I have a chronic back and neck situation and I can honestly say these pillows make a huge difference!! Comfortable…supportive…and positively magical for my neck!! Congratulations! Many, many thanks Please send me the following Gx Suspension Pillows
Amazing new pillow helps thousands to sleep better Suspension Pillow
£ 27
Single Gx Pillows @ £27 each + FREE delivery: Twinpack Gx Pillows @ £49.99 per pack + FREE delivery Medium-soft 2 Medium-soft Please make cheques payable to Beautiful Sleep Ltd 1 Medium-soft & 1 Medium-firm Medium-firm 2 Medium-firm (quantity) (quantity) (quantity) (quantity) (quantity) TOTAL £ RD2 Address envelope to: FREEPOST BEAUTIFUL SLEEP No other details/stamp required! PLEASE QUOTE RD2 SPECIAL OFFER for READERS DIGEST readers FOR FREE DELIVERY* * UK mainland and NI only, please call or visit website for other areas, terms and conditions apply please see website.
Of The The
BRICK Art
As he pays a visit to the birthplace of LEGO, Simon Button contemplates the meaning of our enduring love for the iconic plastic bricks
ILLUSTRATION: © DANIEL MITCHELL INSPIRE
81
Making a pilgrimage to the Danish home of LEGO without children in tow might seem about as logical as going to Glastonbury without wellies. But after a three-day visit my opinion that I’m far from the only grown-up LEGO fan is proven to be as rock-solid as the brightly-coloured plastic bricks that form the basis of one of the world’s most iconic brands.
Despite the amusement and sometimes bemusement of family and friends, I’ve known I’m not alone in my adult love of LEGO since I reconnected with the highlyconnectable building blocks a few years ago. I’m not the only 50-something kid-at-heart excitedly stocking up on construction kits and loose bricks at the company’s stores in London, New York and Paris, nor the only long-in-the-tooth fan posting brick pics on social media.
boat to get a close-up view of the astonishingly detailed miniature Statue of Liberty.
PEOPLE REALLY LOVE THE TANGIBLE EXPERIENCE
But to gleefully wander around the original Legoland in Billund, which opened in 1968, nearly three decades prior to the one in Windsor, is to feel truly vindicated. There are lots of families around but there are also plenty of big kids like me towering above the intricate “Miniland” installations, cramming onto the monorail and climbing aboard a
1895 “Billund Woodworking and Carpenter’s Shop”, which evolves into the Lego company, founded Billund, Denmark.
I can’t stop smiling, but then I’ve been smiling ever since I checked into the new Castle Hotel, which has the cheeriest of staff, chirpy music piping through the corridors, painted minifigures peering at you from the bedroom walls, and buckets of bricks everywhere you look. A friend of mine sees my Facebook update and proclaims, “My daughter would combust if she saw that!”
I almost combust myself when, before I hit the theme park, I pop to the Lego House to meet Jamie Berard, the Design Lead for Architecture and Creator Expert sets—many of which I have in my flat, currently vying for shelf space with lots of Star Wars memorabilia. He brings along a new Trafalgar Square set that takes my
1934 The company name “Lego” is coined by Christiansen from the Danish phrase leg godt, meaning “play well.”
82
THE ART OF THE BRICK
breath away with its many intricacies. In the UK it will set you back £79.99. “But it’s a very high-quality product,” says Jamie, preaching to the converted. “We put a lot of effort into designing it and when you’re building it you’re seeing the attention to detail.”
Having relocated from Boston 13 years ago, the 43-year-old has seen a resurgence in adult buyers in recent years. “In the late 1990s and early 2000s the company started focusing more on simplifying the products—thinking people maybe wanted to play with them more than the building side of it—but in recent years there’s been an acknowledgment that people really love the tangible experience, stepping away from a digital world and making something.”
Billund is where the company started in 1932, when having lost most of his customers to the global economics crisis, carpenter Ole Kirk Christiansen hit upon the idea of making wooden toys. He came up with the name LEGO from the Danish “leg godt,” which means “play well,” and kept the business afloat
READER’S DIGEST
83
1949 Lego begins producing plastic bricks, calling them “Automatic Binding Bricks.”
1954 The word “Lego” is officially registered in Denmark.
with family loans before introducing plastic toys in 1947 and interlocking bricks two years later.
The LEGO group has since proved as adaptable as its bricks, introducing construction sets before targeting the international market from the late 1950s onwards. At the end of the following decade it introduced the DUPLO range of larger bricks for younger children and in 1978 hit upon the idea of minifigures with moveable limbs (and has since produced nearly four billion of them worldwide).
passion that eventually led me to becoming a journalist and critic, I built cinemas from the white bricks I begged my parents to buy for me, cutting out posters from the local paper and sticking them onto the facades.
IT’S ABOUT HAVING
THAT SAFE SPACE IN A
WORLD OF CHAOS
Complex robotic Technics sets, cityscapes and movie tie-ins (introduced after a slump in profits in the 1990s) have all helped keep the company going. Still privately owned, its most recent financial report for 2018 shows an annual revenue of 36.4 billion in Danish kroner (around £4.3 billion).
My own history with it all started when I was kid. Loving films with a
1964 The first Lego sets containing instruction manuals are introduced.
Jamie tells me he never outgrew LEGO. “So I’m one of the few fans who never had these ‘dark ages’ that people talk about.” I did, though. Work and adulthood took over and I’d pretty much forgotten about it until a few years ago, when my brother told me he’d contemplated buying me a LEGO take on an art deco cinema for Christmas but balked at the £100plus price tag.
Intrigued, I decided to treat myself and that was it: I was hooked all over again. I’ve invested in numerous build-to-instructions sets and done plenty of free-styling, fashioning more sophisticated cinemas, accessorised with diners and London Underground stations.
1969 The Duplo system, using larger bricks and targeting younger children is released.
MYLAM /
PHOTO
ALAMY STOCK
84 THE ART OF THE BRICK
I show Jamie photos of a couple of my designs and he seems impressed, then he nails the appeal to adults when he says: “It’s about having that safe space where in a world of chaos you can have a fun, controlled experience where everything works out if you follow the instructions. Once you get more comfortable with that you realise, Wow, there are a lot more shapes than when I grew up and you’re being playful again, building your own creations. That’s when your house starts to get overtaken.”
I can certainly relate to that. I’ve had to demolish and store riverboats and townhouses and sweetshops to make way for all the Architecture and Star Wars sets. I’ve also discovered a nice side effect of LEGO building. As a sufferer of low-level anxiety, I find it a great way to switch off the worries and it seems I’m not the only one.
READER’S DIGEST
85
1974 Lego figures are launched, starting with the Lego family.
1988 The first Lego World Cup building contest is held in Billund.
GOOD QUALITY PLAY SUPPORTS
CONCENTRATION AND CAN RELIEVE STRESS
Self-confessed “LEGO addict” and life coach Dawn Taylor talks on her website, The Taylor Way, about coming off anxiety medication and discovering, through a chance walk-in at a LEGO store, that building a minifigure helped calm the withdrawal symptoms. She bought a couple of sets and when she found the anxiety welling up again she opened up one of the boxes, began to build and calm was restored.
“I now have a ridiculous collection
1997 Lego launches its first computer game, LegoIsland
and I use it almost daily with clients,” Dawn says. “It’s amazing how calming it is.”
David Whitebread, a former senior lecturer in psychology and education at Cambridge University, was part of the LEGO Learning Institute—a collection of academics who advised the company on play, learning and creativity. His work has focused on children’s psychological development and he tells me: “There is some good evidence that LEGO Therapy can enhance social skills
2000 The British Association of Toy Retailers names the Lego brick “Toy of the Century”.
THE ART OF THE BRICK
86
and reduce anxiety, mostly through studies of children with autism.”
Little research, he adds, has been done on adult play but in general terms he says there is “good evidence that good quality play, which is very engaging, does support concentration and can be therapeutic in relation to stress”.
LEGO even has its own Serious Play range, encouraging problem-solving in businesses through group sessions where participants build 3D models as an illustration of their ideas, and last year’s crowd-funded limited edition LEGO FORMA project (where builders could customise a fish frame with different foil skins) was one of several adult-play ideas the company is road-testing.
“There’s been a lot of research on how LEGO can improve your motor skills and keep you sharp mentally,” Jamie notes, adding that he’s been inspired to meet people who only have the use of one arm so they build everything with one hand and one disabled man who could only use his mouth. “He had an assistant to put the bricks in front of him but the rest he did himself.”
My anxiety levels are at an all-time low and my spirits high during my two days in the park and my return
to the LEGO house on my last day in Billund to do some more exploring. Opened a couple of years ago, it’s an interactive museum centred around an astonishing “Tree Of Creativity” formed of more than six million bricks, with rooms dedicated to different building experiences. There’s a restaurant where you don’t order with words but with colourcoded bricks and a basement-housed history of the company that shows just how far it’s come since those early wooden toys.
Happy as a LEGO-loving Larry, I head to the airport having had to upgrade my luggage allowance for all the gift shop purchases, such as a replica of the park and a hugely scaled-down model of the house. Then I spot a Billund Airport build in the airport gift shop, excitedly snap it up and board the plane thinking, I’m going to need a bigger flat! n
For more about LEGOLAND and the Castle Hotel, visit legoland.dk. For more about LEGO House, visit legohouse. com. British Airways flies from London to Billund daily from £35 each way
2008 Lego celebrated the 50th anniversary of the patent on its interlocking blocks.
2014 TheLegoMovie, released theatrically in movie theatres on February 7.
READER’S DIGEST 87
HOLIDAY EXTRAS TRAVEL INSURANCE: WHY CHOOSE US?
Holiday Extras is the UK’s market leader for travel extras, priding ourselves on turning trips into holidays since 1983. This includes our travel insurance options. But why choose Holiday Extras for your holiday cover?
HERE’S A FEW REASONS WHY:
Over 25 years’ experience selling travel insurance
With over a quarter of a century’s experience, we like to think we know a thing or two about providing cover for your holiday. So whether you’re travelling alone, with family or friends, we’ll make sure you and your loved ones are protected.
Voted Best Insurance Provider 11 years running by the Globe Travel Awards
We’ve been recognised by the Globe Travel Awards as best insurance provider for a whopping 11 years in a row. This is a testament to the continued excellent service we strive to provide on a daily basis.
We cover the majority of pre-existing medical conditions
At Holiday Extras, all medical conditions are considered, so get in touch to find out more about what we can offer you. We offer medical cover up to £10,000,000.
UK based contact centre and 24/7 helpline
Our Kent based travel experts are on-hand seven days a week, to answer all your travel insurance questions.
No maximum age on single trip policies*
At Holiday Extras, we believe that age is just a number, so no matter what your age, we’ll find you the most suitable cover for you. *
PARTNERSHIP PROMOTION
Choose the level of cover to suit you
Our travel insurance cover comes in 4 bands: Bronze, Silver, Gold and Platinum, each offering their own levels of protection to specifically meet your individual needs.
Policies with no excess
If you’re looking for a policy without excess, look no further. Our Platinum policies come with a no excess option.
UK, Europe and Worldwide cover.
Whether you are looking to relax on golden sandy beaches for a fortnight or plan to travel the globe multiple times in one year, our holiday insurance offers protection for the whole duration of your holiday. *
4-star rated on Trustpilot.
Don’t just take our word for it, listen to what our existing customers have said about our competitive range of travel insurance products on Trustpilot. n
FOR MORE INFORMATION
To book or for more information get in touch with Holiday Extras on 0800 093 1900, quoting AZ586, or go to holidayextras.co.uk/AZ586 *
Restrictions including durations, destinations, age limits on certain products and adhering to government advice when travelling apply. See policy wording for full terms and conditions.
Returning To Montenegro
90
US President Donald Trump described the country as “very aggressive.” A writer familiar with it couldn’t disagree more
•
83 TRAVEL & ADVENTURE SEPTEMBER 2019
A view of Kotor, which frames the Bay of Kotor
When planning a family trip to Montenegro last spring, I found myself telling perplexed friends who knew next to nothing about the Balkan country: “Imagine yourself in Venice, sail down the Adriatic coast, look to your left and stop before Albania.”
But since US President Donald Trump described the country, in a televised interview in July last year, as a possible trigger to a third world war and Montenegrins as “very aggressive,” the questions have trended from “Where is it?” to “What’s there?”
For starters, there's dramatic natural beauty, including the imposing mountains that wall the coast and inspired its name, Monte Negro, or Black Mountain, in the 13th century.
More invested in tourism—which accounts for over 20 per cent of the economy—than war, Montenegro attracted two million visitors last year, more than three times its population, according to the national tourism office.
A statement from the government in reaction to Mr. Trump’s characterisation cited Montenegro’s “peaceful politics,” noting that during the Balkan Wars of the 1990s, the country was “the only state in which the war didn’t rage during disintegration of the former
Yugoslavia,” of which it was a part.
As the granddaughter of immigrants from Montenegro and a repeat traveller in the region, my experience of Montenegrin aggression is limited to receiving large portions of food and admonishments to clean my plate.
President Trump wasn’t wrong about the country’s size though. NATO’s newest member, which declared independence from Serbia in 2006, is indeed small. Less than half the size of Belgium, it's diminutive, but it’s just right for a time-pinched vacation, which, in our case, was eight days in May.
“You cannot imagine how such a small country has everything: national parks, mountains, beaches, night life, history, Orthodox monasteries,” said Nina Batlak, a Dubrovnik-based product manager for Super Luxury Travel, which offers trips in Montenegro. “Everything fits in such small borders.”
Many travellers set out from Dubrovnik, the popular walled city on the southern Croatian coast, about an hour’s drive from the border. But we found that flying into the capital of Podgorica put us within easy striking distance of a variety of attractions: the Dinaric Alps in the north, the Adriatic coast to the south, and the cultural treasures of mid-Montenegro.
Most visitors come for the sea, a crowd-eluding alternative that
RETURNING TO MONTENEGRO 92 • SEPTEMBER 2019
photo, previous spread: © shutterstock
historically has been popular with Russians and Ukrainians seeking warmer weather. Compared with its neighbour across the Adriatic, it’s “a more affordable Italy,” said Joanna Millick, director of sales and private journeys at MIR Corporation, which offers Balkan tours.
Ancient towns, from Herceg Novi on the Bay of Kotor to walled Ulcinj near the Albanian border, dot the 50-mile coastal drive. Construction is rampant, suggesting more, if not mass, tourism isn’t too distant. We found crews restoring the Venetian palaces lining seafront Perast.
Those, along with the forts strung along the coast, testify to the centuries-long fight for control of this strategic region by the great seafaring powers of the 14th through mid-19th centuries. Montenegro only began to gain its shore from the Ottomans and
the Austrians in the late 1800s.
Not that tourism is exactly new: After all, in the 1960s and 1970s, celebrities like Elizabeth Taylor and Sophia Loren vacationed at Sveti Stefan, a peninsular village-turnedluxury-resort, now run by Aman hotels and still favoured by the glitterati (the Serbian tennis star Novak Djokovic was married here in 2014).
But more recent foreign investment has fuelled its expansion, with luxury developments like Porto Montenegro in Tivat, home to a Regent hotel and a yacht marina, and the Miami-like high-rises that surround the walled heart of Budva, now filled with restaurants and cafes.
As you push farther south, and mosques begin to mingle with monasteries, time and tourism seem distant. At Stari Bar, an ancient ghost town that was once traded between
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 93
The beach at Sveti Stefan, a peninsular village-turned-luxury-resort
photo: © k en Welsh/Getty i ma G es
the Venetians and the Turks, we scrambled around the deserted ruins and found a cat nurturing a litter of kittens in an ancient urn.
By the time we got to southernmost Ulcinj, we had the walled city virtually to ourselves, from a museum of archeology, ethnology, and the arts, filled with ceramics, coins, and carvings from the Romans through the Ottomans, to the new pirate seafood restaurant overlooking the sea.
Many visitors arrive by ship, sailing through the fjord-like Bay of Kotor to the walled city of Kotor, long under Venetian rule, with the winged lion of St. Mark on its sea-facing gate to prove it. Cruisecritic.com last year named Kotor the second most popular port in the eastern Mediterranean, after Dubrovnik.
We found ourselves in Kotor, along with thousands of passengers from a Celebrity Cruises ship, snapping pictures of the stray (but clearly wellfed) cats that stalk the cobblestone plazas and nap on stone staircases.
A series of these steps climbs a mountain to the fortress of St. John, a medieval stronghold improbably guarded with walls that ascend nearly 900 feet. It’s an exhausting post to reach, but one that rewards you with sunset views over the bayplunging mountains.
When the ship sailed out that evening, romance returned to
candlelit restaurant terraces within the walls, and Nikšic´ko beer-drinking yacht crews filled the outdoor tables in view of a 17th-century clock tower.
Behind the coastal mountains of Montenegro, via a dizzying switchback road, lies an entirely different country that's rugged, largely undeveloped and a real bargain, as epitomised by the six-inch-high cevapcici sausage sandwich at Kole Restaurant in Cetinje, which costs just two euros.
Cetinje, the former capital of the Montenegrin kingdom, established in the 15th century, remains the country’s cultural heart. A cluster of pedestrian-only lanes, where art students paint en plein-air, surrounds a series of national museums devoted to art and history. A joint ticket (ten euros) provides entry to six museums, including the Biljarda, the 19th-century residence of Montenegro’s favourite ruler, the poet and philosopher Petar II Petrovic´ Njegoš, and named for his billiard table, the country’s first. He died in 1851 and is buried in a monumental mausoleum on Mount Lovc´en outside town.
Its last ruler, Nikola I Petrovic´ Njegoš, inhabited a modest palace across from the Biljarda until he fled the country in 1916, as Austrian forces invaded during the First World War. Now known as King Nikola’s Museum, it's filled with treasures, including antique Chinese
94 • SEPTEMBER 2019 RETURNING TO MONTENEGRO
photos: (top) © shutterstock (bottom) © e ric Franks / a lamy s tock p hoto
urns, Persian carpets, Venetian mirrors, Indonesian furniture, and royal portraits from families across Europe. That the royal collection survived the Second World War occupation of Montenegro by Italian forces is miraculous.
“He was known as the fatherin-law of Europe,” said our guide proudly, explaining that five of the king’s daughters had married into royal families across the continent, including Princess Elena, who wed an Italian royal and earned an in-law’s respect. “Because they were family, the Italians preserved the home.”
From coastal isles to Alpine valleys, Orthodox monasteries are strewn across the country, many covered in vivid frescoes of elongated, big-eyed saints depicting Bible stories. But the most impressive are in central Montenegro.
The Ostrog Monastery, for example, is shallowly built into a cliff face at 3,000ft, and reached from the highway between Podgorica and Nikšic´ by a slim, shoulderless, zigzagging road that we nervously shared with intrepid bus drivers.
Barefoot pilgrims walk an even more vertical path there, culminating in a dark, rock-hollowed room in the monastery housing the tomb of St. Basil, where a priest blessed each visitor individually. The faithful kissed an icon, offered coins and walked from the room backward—so
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 95 READER’S DIGEST
Ostrog Monastery is built into a cliff face at 900m; (Below) Alley with shops in the old town of Budva
as not to turn their backs on the holy site—past radiant mosaics placed into the cliff walls.
In the Alpine north, we encountered even fewer visitors, heartier food—including a cheesy potato entree called kac´amak—and
TRAVEL TIPS
GettinG there There are airports at Podgorica and Tivat, or fly to Dubrovnik in southern Croatia and catch one of seven buses a day to Herceg Novi and Kotor, or two buses a day to Podgorica.
GettinG around The rail network is limited but bus service is reliable and affordable. Driving can be challenging — many roads are extremely narrow and cling to the sides of mountains.
LodGinG In Podgorica, Hotel Podgorica was recently updated, doubles from 108 euros. In Cetinje, La Vecchia Casa is within a lush garden, rooms about 35 euros. In Kotor, Hotel Astoria is in a restored 13th-century palace; rooms from 125 euros.
dininG Pod Volat, located centrally in Podgorica beside the Ottoman clock tower, serves traditional local cuisine (the mixed grill is an institution), mains 4-16 euros. In Kotor, Galerija, on the waterfront, serves local cuisine and specialises in seafood, mains 7-20 euros. In Cetinje, Kole serves local specialities, including freshwater carp and spitroasted meats stuffed with smoked ham and cheese, mains 4-20 euros.
zealous portions: an order of local trout at Konoba restaurant in Kolašin, the country’s main ski town, delivered a pair of 12-inch-long fish.
Many roads to the region are precipitous, narrow, and distractingly scenic, including the stretch from Podgorica north along the Morac´ a Canyon to Kolašin. A new highway, expected to open later this year, should expedite travel from the city to the slopes. Ample Airbnb inventory supplements the ski chalets of Kolašin and Žabljak, another nearby ski town and the gateway to Durmitor National Park, the largest of Montenegro’s five national parks.
The turquoise Tara River slices through these Dinaric Alps, creating Europe’s deepest canyon at some 1300 meters, and thrilling white-water paddlers. Overnight rafting trips take place in the deepest section of the Tara Canyon, while popular day trips bump over roiling Class III and IV rapids, depending on the time of year.
On the suggestion of our Airbnb host in Žabljak, we signed up with Rafting Tara—Triftar, run by Goran Lekovic´ . Our excursion seemed to encapsulate Montenegro with its mix of entrepreneurial gamble and sincere hospitality. An inscrutable van driver—likely limited by the language barrier—distributed well-worn wet suits and mismatched neoprene bootees to us and a backpacking couple from Switzerland.
96 • SEPTEMBER 2019 RETURNING TO MONTENEGRO
photo: © m iroslava d urcatova/ s hutterstock
At the river launch, rival guides with emergency radios and seasoned muscles pushed off in profiles that were in stark contrast to our captain, Mr. Lekovic´ himself, who chainsmoked, wore loafers, and limited his safety instructions to “Team, paddle!” on approaching the rapids. Despite appearances, he competently navigated the high-water rollers as we rollicked for the next few wet hours.
The promised lunch turned out to be a three-course homemade feast featuring roast lamb on the nearby Lekovic´ farm, followed by warm offers of Turkish coffee and cigarettes (trips are priced between 45 euros and 190 euros).
The river curves through the
northern section of Durmitor National Park, home to 48 peaks above 1,800 meters. Here, bare limestone crests shade pockets of snow, and scree slopes run down to glacier-carved lakes and wildflower-filled meadows. Over the May holiday celebrating Montenegro’s 12-year independence, we hiked lightly travelled but wellsigned paths, forded streams, crossed under waterfalls and picnicked on boulders in fragrant pine groves.
“New country,” smiled the attendant at the admission booth, granting us, like everyone else, free admission on the holiday. “But old place.”
Populated, I might add, by people curious about outsiders, rather than aggressive toward them. n
NO SPRING CHICKEN…
Fossil discoveries have recently revealed that a 12ft bird once lived alongside our early human ancestors. The flightless creature, named the Pachystruthio dmanisensis, was three times the size of an ostrich and may have been hunted for its meat by early Europeans.
SOURCE: NATIONALGEOGRAPHIC.COM
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 97
The turquoise Tara River slices through these Dinaric Alps
Magical Markets My Great Escape:
Kalpa Valli from London remembers the feast for the senses that was her trip to Bangkok’s floating markets
Damnoen Saduak Floating Market, located in the Damnoen Saduak District, about 65 miles southwest of Bangkok was the final destination of our 12-day Thailand tour. We reached the market via a pleasantly water-splashing tenminute speedboat ride, feeling the refreshing tropical air in the winding waterways with small wooden houses lining either side.
At the pier, we mounted a Thai paddle boat for a 30 minute ride in the canals. The market hosted decorated stalls on either side, with local people selling souvenirs, traditional Thai clothes and jewellery. There were also vendors paddling around the tourists selling sticky rice with mango, ice-cream served in natural coconut shells, fresh coconut water, tropical fruits, flowers and vegetables, freshly cooked noodles and seafood seasoned with Thai spices. Khanom Bueang, a delicious thin crispy crêpe filled with sweet coconut cream and topped with sweet or savoury Thai flavourings, is not to be missed. The picturesque backdrop was busy, alive with a myriad of colours and a cornucopia of aromas
filled the air around us. After a lively haggle, I bought the perfect souvenir (a model Thai woman selling fruits and vegetables in a boat).
Our visit to the market was a magnificent experience and an authentic retreat from the hustle and bustle of the city that we’d experienced earlier on in our tour. Surely a place that’s not to be missed when paying a visit to Bangkok, although preferably visited in the morning, before the day gets hot.
Maeklong Railway Market is another popular market destination in Thailand, located in the Mueang Samut Songkhram District. The stalls are placed on either side of the railway tracks and the vendors quite literally spread their goods onto the train tracks, which are cleared on the spur of the moment, including the awnings, as the next train rapidly approaches. The train squeezes past the stalls leaving virtually no gap between them. We will be sure to visit next time!
Tell us about your favourite holiday (send a photo too) and if we print it we’ll pay £50.
Email excerpts@readersdigest.co.uk
98 • SEPTEMBER 2019
TRAVEL & ADVENTURE
99
EUROPEAN GLAMPING
FOR THE DISABLED: WEST WALES
Canvas & Campfires has opened Wales’ first accessible safari tents, complete with space for a wheelchair and hoist, plus wet rooms with roll-in showers. Found in beautiful Ceredigion, all five tents sleep six (canvasandcampfires.co.uk).
FOR GROWN-UP KIDS: NORTHUMBERLAND
Seen on George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces, the Sky Den treehouse in Kielder Water & Forest Park comprises a rectangular living space and balcony, a circular viewpoint room and a triangular canopy loft ideal for stargazing (canopyandstars. co.uk).
FOR ADVENTURERS: ABRUZZO
At British-run glampsite Fireflies & Figs, in lesser-known eastern Italy, the en-suite, two-person yurts—one with a plunge pool—are shabby-chic in style, and both have wine and beerstocked honesty boxes (firefliesand figs.co.uk).
FOR BEACH-BUMS: CROATIA
Arena One 99 Glamping lines an emerald-coloured bay between pine forest and a pebble beach. It has eight types of luxury tent, as well as hot tubs, yoga classes, a fishspecialist bistro and windsurfing classes on site (arenaglamping.com).
FOR RETRO FANS: SOUTHERN SPAIN
In the mountains northeast of Alicante, past almond groves, hides a silver Airstream. It includes a hammock and outdoor shower with sea views, and hirers can use the main house’s pool or join Friday tapas evenings (canopyandstars.co.uk).
by Richard Mellor
Travel app of the month
SIDEKICK, FROM £16
Going to Korea (or, soon, Japan)? Working via Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp and WeChat, this new app lets you text locals for travel advice and tips—a sort of real-time concierge, in other words.
TRAVEL & ADVENTURE 100 • SEPTEMBER 2019
the only way to find out is to get all the facts and figures to evaluate in Your Time.
Get a full report & quote in the post by applying through our web site www.yourtime.co.uk/rd
• No sales calls or visits at any time.
• Best value interest rates on the market.
• Low charges – only £695 fixed fee.
• No completion - no charge guarantee.
• Talk to an experienced adviser, not a call centre.
• Must be a homeowner and aged over 55. Name: Address: (We need to know your age and home value to tell you how much you can release and to work out the best value interest rates)
RD0919 Property Value: Age: Equity Releasegood or bad idea? NO STAMP REQUIRED - return to - Freepost YOUR TIME 19/21 Albion Place Maidstone ME14 5DZ Members of the Equity Release Council. Authorised and Regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. Don’t forget to mention ‘Reader’s Digest’ when you call. 0800 612 5112 EQUITY RELEASE BROKERS £100 discount with this advert
9
Easy Ways To Manage Your Money
From handy payment reminders to “roboadvisers”, Andy Webb offers some simple tips on managing your money better
If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a long to-do list. Even if it’s not written down, it’s there, nagging you somewhere at the back of your mind. And I bet a fair few of the things on your list are financial, and no doubt many of them are tasks that come around again and again... Well here’s how you can stop the déjà vu and get them sorted once and for all.
Let someone else switch energy for you Though it doesn’t take much effort to do an energy comparison every 12 months, it’s certainly a financial chore
Andy Webb is a personal finance journalist and runs the award-winning money blog, Be Clever With Your Cash
that many choose to ignore. Well, you’ll run out of excuses by using a service such as Look After Your Bills or WeFlip. They automatically move you to a cheaper deal—all you need to do is sign up. And they’ll keep monitoring the different tariffs out there to see if you can pay even less. If the saving is over a certain threshold you’ll get switched again.
Of course, these services aren’t perfect. You probably won’t get as many energy companies to choose from as you would with Money Saving Expert’s Cheap Energy Club—my pick of the comparisons sites—and you’ll miss out on cashback for switching too.
But they will still save you a pretty penny versus doing nothing, so if you know you’re going to put off doing it yourself then it’s better to save something than nothing.
102 • SEPTEMBER 2019
MONEY
No more meter readings
To get accurate meter readings on your gas and electricity you need to provide regular meter readings. But not only can these be a pain to remember, they can often be a pain to access. So if you want to avoid whacking your head trying to read the electricity or going outside to measure the gas, you should look into getting a free smart meter installed.
The important thing to look out for is that you’re getting a second generation meter, or SMETS II, installed. This means that when your autoswitching kicks in, your smart meter will stay smart—though it’s worth checking that will be the case before any switch happens.
Get a nudge when other switches could happen
Sadly you can’t autoswitch your broadband or car insurance, but you
can get reminders from the website
Onedox for these and other bills that your contract is about to expire. This’ll stop expensive auto-renewals and rolling over onto a pricey standard contract. Yes, you’ll still need to look for a better deal, but you can rest easy knowing you won’t forget. It also works for subscriptions such as Netflix and things like your MOT. Plus it acts as a vault for all your accounts—saving you time searching through your inbox or home filing systems to find paperwork.
Pay your credit card on time every time
I think we all know about direct debits for lots of our bills, but these and standing orders are also perfect for any other payment you need to make as they mean you’ll never miss a due date. I’ve got one set up for my credit card so the full amount is paid out on the
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 103
same date every month. Paying on time means I’ll avoid missed payment charges, and clearing the whole balance prevents any interest getting added on.
See all your accounts in one place
If you’ve got multiple current accounts and credit cards then it can sometimes be a hassle to check each and every one of them, particularly if they are with different banks and therefore have different log-in details. Well, you can see them all in one place now thanks to apps like Yolt. Once you’ve connected each of your banks you can see every transaction and balance together, making it simple to keep track.
Let your savings sort themselves
You can make saving easy too. Apps such as Plum and Chip—once they’re connected to your bank account—analyse your spending to work out how much you’re
likely to have spare at the end of the month. Then the app moves the money to a separate savings account before you can spend it. These are smart ways to boost your savings, whether for an emergency or something specific. You’re also able to make manual saves as and when with a few taps on your phone.
Let robots manage your investments
“Robo-advisers” take the effort of managing your portfolio of stocks and shares away from you and into the hands of computer algorithms. You simply need to answer some questions to identify your approach to risk. It’s worth checking the fees.
Though the likes of Nutmeg and Wealthify will be a lot cheaper than having a professional advisor consult you on what to buy and sell, some of these platforms are pricier than others.
104 • SEPTEMBER 2019
MONEY
Merge your pensions into one pot
It can be hard enough to track a pension and what it’ll be worth when you’ve only got one. But if you’ve had a number of employers over the years, then you might have as many pension pots out there. So if the idea of one balance and one projection appeals to you, then you can merge them using PensionBee.
The hard work of finding and moving the pensions is done for you—by a person—so you’ll just need to give the initial information when signing up to get the ball rolling. You can also continue to pay into your new PensionBee pot.
However, this isn’t a good idea if you have any defined benefit pots,
such as a final salary pension, as moving those will reduce the value you’ll get when you retire.
Stop searching for voucher codes
Savvy shoppers should never pay full price—but that can mean a trawl through Google for voucher codes which don’t always work. Instead you can try extensions for your internet browser which automatically tell you what codes you can use for the web page you’re on. Take a look at Piggy, Honey or Pouch. There’s even an extension that’ll quickly show you the price history for Amazon from Camel Camel Camel. Most of these require you to use the Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox web browsers. n
LOST IN TRANSLATION
The movies that have hilarious titles in other countries…
Ghostbusters—Super Power Dare Die Team (China)
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory—The Boy Drowned in the Chocolate Sauce (Denmark)
Leaving Las Vegas—I’m Drunk and You’re a Prostitute (Japan)
Grease—Vaseline (Argentina)
SOURCE: RD.COM
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 105 READER’S DIGEST
Rice Bowl Medley
Serves 4
350g brown rice
225g chorizo ring, diced 1tbsp hot smoked paprika
1 large head of broccoli (about 350g)
225g frozen peas
1 lemon, juiced
30g flat leaf
parsley, washed, picked, chopped
4 spring
onions, sliced
1tbsp
Nigella seeds
Optional serve: 1-2tsp Shichimi Togarashi, chilli flakes
Rachel Walker is a food writer for numerous national publications. Visit rachel-walker.co.uk for more information
I debated whether this was worthy of a column—in essence it’s an easy, all-in rice dish—but it’s a recipe that I find myself reverting to time after time. When rice is the base of a dish it’s important to season generously and add flavour at every junction. That’s why I tend to give the chorizo an extra boost with some hot smoked paprika as well as heaping on garnishes: spring onions, Nigella seeds, parsley and a generous squeeze of lemon to make sure that it really packs a punch
1. Cook the rice according to pack instructions (usually 20-25 minutes for brown rice)*. Once cooked, leave the lid on so it continues steaming, and before you use it, fluff it up with a fork and season with salt.
2. Meanwhile cut the chorizo ring into bite-sized pieces and fry them in a large pan until they start to release deep red oil and turn crisp. Add the hot smoked paprika to the oil and remove the pan from the heat.
3. Cut the broccoli into bite-sized florets. Steam both the broccoli and frozen peas for 2-3 minutes, add them to the rice and then tip it all into the pan containing the crisp chorizo. Add the lemon juice and stir.
4. Divide into bowls and garnish generously with chopped parsley, spring onions, Nigella seeds and (if you have any, and like spice) Shichimi Togarashi or chilli flakes.
TIP: Though this recipe specifies rice, it works well with all sorts of grains—add a little wild rice to the mix to introduce new taste or texture, or switch it entirely for pearl barley, couscous or freekeh.
106 • SEPTEMBER 2019
FOOD
PHOTOGRAPHY BY TIM & ZOË HILL
Drinks Tip…
Albariño is known for its high acidity and botanical notes, making this Spanish white a great go-to for lightly-spiced dishes. Try Majestic’s Bienbebido Pulpo Albariño 2018 (£9.99), which will really sing alongside the chorizo and the hot smoked paprika
107
Apple & Mincemeat Galette
Serves 4
1 large Bramley or cooking apple (about 300g)
1tbsp lemon juice
1tbsp water
1tbsp sugar
150g puff pastry
3tbsp mincemeat
1-2 eating apples (eg, Pink Lady)
1tsp demerara
sugar
During mid-September, when apple harvest arrives, it’s a good idea to have plenty of recipes up your sleeve to make the most of one of Britain’s most delicious fruits. Mincemeat is usually associated with Christmas, but it pairs so beautifully with apples and can really elevate a simple autumnal dish, turning it into something pretty special
1. Preheat the oven to 200°C.
2. Peel and core the Bramley apple, dice and mix with the lemon juice, water and sugar. Stew—either by slow cooking on the hob or covering with a plate or cling film and microwaving—until the apples are soft enough that they can be mashed with a fork.
3. Meanwhile, roll out the puff pastry and use a pan lid as a guide to cut out a circle shape. Use the tip of a knife to score a border 1cm in from the edge, and then use the back of a fork to create a crimping pattern.
4. Heap the mincemeat in the centre of the pastry and then put 3-4tbsp of the stewed apple on top (ideally, it should sit on the mincemeat rather than straight onto the pastry, to prevent it from going soggy).
5. Cut the eating apple into quarters, remove the core and slice. Arrange the slices in a circular shape, sprinkle with brown sugar and bake for 12-14 minutes until the pastry is puffed and golden. Serve with cream or ice cream. n
FOOD
108 • SEPTEMBER 2019
•Prevents overheating in the summer
•Retains warmth in the depths of winter
•Eliminates noise from rain and wind
•Reduces your homes heating cost
• Fitted usually in as little as 1 day •Creates an extension which matches your house soffits, fascias and comes with highly illuminating lighting
•Adds to the value of your home
Rundle & Dorey Ltd CONSERVATORY INSULATION SPECIALISTS CALLING ALL CONSERVATORY OWNERS INSULATE Phone now for your FREE 16 Page Colour Brochure Conservatory Ceiling Insulation Lightweight
Tiled Roof Replacement • Reduces heat loss by up to 95% • Cooler in summer, warmer in winter
• No planning permission is required
• Premium Plaster Finish - No Plastic
• Still allows in plenty of natural light
• Cuts down noise and glare
REPLACE AFTER AFTER FREE No-Obligation Quotations on request. Consumer Protection Association Member No. 3057. *Omni Capital Retails Finance Limited, Oak House, Reeds Crescent, WD24 4QP. Authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. Credit Subject to Status. 25% OFF UP TO LIMITED OFFER PLUS FREE Internal LED Lights To find out which is suitable for your conservatory and budget Call: 0800 024 8860 - Visit: rundleanddorey.co.uk OR Interest-FREE Finance* 0% APR BEFORE BEFORE
Work Wonders With Workspace
Set up a designated home office in any part of the house by following these top tips
WHomes and gardens writer and stylist
Cassie Pryce specialises in interior trends and discovering new season shopping
ith flexible working patterns on the rise, more and more people are finding the need to set up a work station in their own home. Alongside all of the positives this style of working can bring, it’s important to achieve a work-life balance by being able to separate your office space from your home. If you don’t have the luxury of a spare room or separate study, you may need to incorporate a small office area into your living room, or perhaps a bedroom or nook under the stairs. Fold-down desks are ideal for shutting away your work in the evenings and not eating into floor space. Alternatively, create a subtle divide within an existing room using
tall shelving units as a screen.
Natural light is conducive to productivity, so pick a room in the house which benefits from this and position your desk near a window. Turn your computer away from the light source to avoid glare on the screen and try not to place your desk above a radiator as this will block the heat circulation in winter. Most computers, phones and printers have wireless capabilities these days, so take advantage of this to avoid contending with unsightly wires.
Invest in an ergonomic desk chair rather than borrowing a dining chair on a day-to-day basis and choose a desk that has built-in drawers if you’re short on space and don’t have room for additional filing cabinets. Make the most of wall storage with shelves and high cabinets to not only help you keep clutter at bay and free up your work surface, but to stop paperwork spilling out into other parts of your house. n
110 • SEPTEMBER 2019
HOME & GARDEN
Form & Function
Brooklyn natural solid oak and metal computer desk, £579.99; Brooklyn stool, £199.99, both Oak Furniture Land
Gardening Aids Unlikely
When you need a job done but require a little assistance, these improbable garden helpers will help you out in the most surprising ways
KITCHEN TONGS
Take a pair of kitchen tongs outside with you when it’s time to trim back any prickly vines, limbs, or rose bushes. The tongs will allow you to hold or bend the branch painlessly while you snip with the other hand.
COFFEE GROUNDS
Once your coffee grounds have “done their job” inside the house, put them to work outside. Sprinkle them in your garden, where they’ll decompose and add nutrients to the soil.
SOAP BAR
Before you dig your hands into that soil, scrape your fingernails across a bar of hand soap. The soap that collects under your nails will create a dirt barrier, preventing that
embedded, impossible-to-clean rim of dirt underneath.
SANDPAPER
Keep a sheet of fine sandpaper or an emery cloth handy in your tool shed. When rust appears on your pruning saw blade or some other metal tool, rub it away with a light sanding. Follow up with a light coating of oil— for instance, from a rag carrying a touch of motor oil or olive oil.
PAPER CUPS
If your seedlings are vanishing from the flower bed overnight, you need a shield to protect them from pests. Cut the bottom off a paper cup and place the cup over your seedling to keep the hungry critters at bay. n
HOME & GARDEN
112 • SEPTEMBER 2019
Massage Therapy System 50 Years Experience
Autumn Style Update
Lisa Lennkh is a banker turned fashion writer, stylist and blogger. Her blog, The Sequinist, focuses on sparkle and statement style for midlife women
September can only mean one thing; cool weather and cosy autumnal clothing are just around the corner! This month, all the fashion magazines launch their biggest editorial features, poised and ready to whet our sartorial appetites for the new trends dropping into stores. But, to be honest, there isn't much originality in fashion this autumn, at least as far as I can tell from the runways. The two major recent themes, "comfort" and "individuality" are still firmly in place; yet they've ventured into even more extreme territories.
In the comfort category, designers are still offering ultra-comfortable
shoes. Think squishy trainers, soft fleecy boots that don't look like they were meant to be worn outside, and fancy loafers instead of heels for the evening. In-your-face cosiness provided by oversized duvet-inspired coats is still very much a trend this autumn and winter. If you're a fan of comfy tights (I am!) you'll be pleased to know that they are everywhere this season. Remember in the 1980s when we wore brightly coloured ones with everything? That trend is back in a more elegant way (less fluoro, more jewel tones this time around). Tights look most modern when they're worn to intentionally clash or to elegantly match the rest of your outfit.
The category of expressive individuality continues to gather steam in the fashion world.
Miniature quirky bags from previous seasons are now even tinier and quirkier. There are even necklace
FASHION & BEAUTY 114 • SEPTEMBER 2019
bags, which look just as ridiculous as they sound. Last winter's sedate heritage tartan has now gone head to toe, and has been tweaked to be bolder and brighter. Suits are still as popular as they were last autumn, but this year a belt is cinched around the blazer to give it an unexpected new twist (and a more flattering silhouette). As far as accessories go, there are few so individual as a hat; hats featured heavily on the runways, in every style and colour imaginable— even worn with evening gowns. I particularly liked the colourful cloche hats at Nina Ricci—I'll look for a more wearable version without the runway price tag.
Many designers showed unique cape coats for autumn, which were as tempting for me as the hats. Capes are both unusual and ladylike. I've learned that they're easy to layer with my winter clothes, and never fail to get
compliments. The cape selection at Chanel was particularly beautiful— they came in every hue and ranged from elbow-length to ankle-grazing. I can't imagine anything more glamorous and original than a long cape for winter.
Extreme comfort and extreme individuality trends have been awarded such longevity as (partially due to social media) designers are closer to what consumers want to wear. And, unlike other countries' fashion capitals which tend to show very homogenous themes, London (and the UK in general) has always been very comfortable with eccentricity and individuality. Which is why this season doesn't feel quite as "new". This autumn, I won't buy or change much about my wardrobe, but I will update my style by being a little braver with hats... and I will see if I can find a good quality long cape like those dreamy ones at Chanel. n
READER’S DIGEST 115 SEPTEMBER 2019 •
Show Us Your TEETH
Jenessa Williams offers up tips for maintaining a gleaming set of pearly whites
A smile is often the first thing we notice about a person, so it’s no wonder that there's some serious cash to be made in the dental trade. Researchers estimate that the cosmetic dental industry will be worth an estimated £33 billion by 2021, as more patients seek that perfect Hollywood grin.
If you’re not keen on shelling out for high-end treatments, there are plenty of ways to achieve a whiter smile. For starters, it’s time to invest in a good electric toothbrush. There are countless on the market, but Foreo’s innovative design may well be the sleekest. Equipped with bacteria-resistant silicon bristles, it’s perfect for even the most sensitive of gums or denture bonds, with the ability to adjust speed settings and a small light pulse that reminds you to spend the requisite 30 seconds in each quarter of your mouth. Team with a whitening toothpaste, or add Pearl Drops overnight serum into your routine—simply apply before bed to restore surface enamel and encourage brightness.
Of course, a brighter smile can all be in the illusion and a well-chosen lipstick. Opt for a deep red shade with blue tints to minimalize any yellow appearance, or choose a blue balm. Lipstick Queen’s nourishing formula is a great lip salve, and offers a subtle sheen of plum-colour coverage that contrasts against dulled teeth. A low-cost alternative to private dental treatment. n
Hero Products
Foreo ISSA Hybrid Toothbrush, £129
Lipstick Queen in ‘Hello Sailor’, £20
Pearl Drops Strong and White Overnight Serum, £7
116 • SEPTEMBER 2019
WARRANTY INCLUDED FREE WITH EVERY MECHANISED ITEM Finance Packages Available *The 50% o er is taken from the least expensive item and must be ordered at the same time. 1 0 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 For a FREE home demonstration or 68 page brochure call FREEPHONE 0800 810 8869 www.mobilityfurniture.co.uk CHOICE OF WIDTH, • CHOICE OF 20, 25, 35, 50 and 70 stone models available Choose from our extensive range of chairs and selection of over 400 fabrics & leathers ULTRA COMFORT POCKET SPRUNG ‘AERO-SEAT’ OPTION NOW AVAILABLE! Cheshire 2 seater sofa bed you need someone with you for your FREE home demonstration OFF £300 50%OFF THE 2ND ITEM* • CHOICE OF DEPTH, HEIGHT • • delivery/setup service of old furniture We BACK CHOICE WIDTH SPRUNG OF HEIGHT CHOICE OF SEAT HEIGHT OF SEAT DEPTH OF SEAT Made to measure Rise & Recline Chairs ‘Super-hi’ leg lift THE 1ST ITEM Part exchange for your old furniture
MRS LOWRY & SON
Timothy Spall has had something of a penchant for biopics of late, and his latest might just be his best
If you’re in the market for a masterclass in acting, look no further than Mrs Lowry & Son and the standout performances from industry titans Vanessa Redgrave and Timothy Spall. This two-hander tells the true story of artist LS Lowry (Spall)’s complicated relationship with his mother (Redgrave), whose blunt refusal to recognise his talents and intense resentment for the loss of the middle class circles she grew up amidst didn’t stop him spending much of his adult life caring for her in their small terraced home in Pendlebury.
The intimacy of this script would almost work better as a play save for its stunningly nuanced cinematography, which allows viewers to see Lancashire through Lowry’s eyes. There are jawdropping shots of industrial mills, towering chimneys and crowds of 1930s Lancastrians. Though his mother may complain that he always sees beauty where other people don’t, director Adrian Noble is careful to use this as the very thing that humanises this far-fromscene-darling artist, who first found fans among unionists and common folk.
Ultimately Mrs Lowry & Son achieves exactly what any good art biopic should—it leaves you itching to hop on a train to Salford to enjoy the work of the man himself.
READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/CULTURE/FILM 118 • SEPTEMBER 2019 © VERTIGO RELEASING
H H H H H
DOCUMENTARY: INNA DE
YARD Join a rowdy bunch of pioneering musicians on a journey deep into the heart of reggae. Starting with its origins in 1960s Jamaica, and dipping into its many incarnations like ska and rocksteady, Inna De Yard offers a vibrant history of reggae as well as a captivating portrait of the streets of Jamaica in all their gritty glory. But the tastiest morsels are moments spent with the musicians themselves, as they “capture the music in its virgin state”, ie, jam and revisit old hits, each with his distinct style and delivery; whether it’s the
peculiar wails of the Cedric Myton or the laidback swagger of Winston McAnuff. Still bursting with vitality and gusto, their musings and shenanigans are bound to make any reggae fan squeal with joy.
HORROR: IT: CHAPTER TWO
Scary clown fans rejoice; the follow up to the critically acclaimed 2017 remake of the Stephen King classic, It, is here and gives its predecessor a run for its money in the creepy department. Starring James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain and Bill Hader, this stylish sequel brings the now-grown up members of the Losers Club together 27 years after their first encounter with the terrifying Pennywise.
H H HH H
ACTION: NIGHT HUNTER
Henry Cavill as a jaded, damaged-goods cop, Ben Kingsley as a calculated vigilante and Stanley Tucci as a stern commissioner with a heart of gold— that, plus a sexual predator with a multiple personality disorder in the vein of Split, lots of table slamming , violent interrogations and wintry Canadian locations, equals a very predictable pastiche of a traditional cat and mouse thriller. If that’s your thing, though, Night Hunter is still a very fun watch for all its goofy clichés, textbook twists and hammed up performances .
by Eva Mackevic and Anna Walker
FILMS
© PICTUREHOUSE ENTERTAINMENT /
/ SIGNATURE ENTERTAINMENT
H H HH
WARNER BROS
H
H H H H H
BETTER THINGS: SEASON 2 (BBC2)
What is it? A quietly accomplished US import, getting even stronger in its second run under Pamela Adlon. Why should I watch it? Season one established the basics of jobbing LA actress Sam’s life with her three daughters and dotty mother. Season two sees these family ties—and Sam’s love life—growing ever more tangled. Best episode? At least two (“Eulogy” and “Graduation”) coaxed tears from this viewer, while a third (“Phil”) counts among TV’s most honest depictions of caring for an infirm loved one.
JON RICHARDSON: ULTIMATE WORRIER (DAVE; UKTV PLAY)
What is it? Nervy comedian Richardson’s continued attempts to bring order to the mounting chaos of the modern world, more essential with each passing year.
Why should I watch it? If you’ve ever wondered whether we’re due a plague, or if magic died out with Paul Daniels, these hour-long sessions of jovial therapy—in which Richardson and guests cast a wry eye over the evidence—should help set your mind at ease.
Best guest? Richardson’s real-life wife, the droll stand-up Lucy Beaumont, is the prime mover behind Episode Three’s genuine showstopper, involving a bathtub full of marshmallows and an especially restless spider.
by Mike McCahill
WHAT TO STREAM THIS MONTH:
COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE (NETFLIX)
Eddie Murphy and Ricky Gervais are among those joining Jerry Seinfeld for genial conversations.
DOCUMENTARY NOW! (AMAZON PRIME)
Familiar faces Bill Hader and Fred Armisen craft detailed, clever-funny spoofs of big-screen documentary landmarks.
ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK(NETFLIX)
A defining Netflix show returns to form in its final stretch. Will the Litchfield jailbirds find any form of release?
TELEVISION
120 • SEPTEMBER 2019
READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/CULTURE/FILM BBC PICTURES
ALBUM OF THE MONTH: SAXOPHONE CONCERTO / BASS DRUM CONCERTO
BY GABRIEL PROKOFIEV
If you have a penchant for composer Sergei Prokofiev’s dark, musical whimsies laced with ominous dissonances and intriguing harmonies, just wait till you see what his grandson’s been up to. A composer in his own right, Gabriel Prokofiev’s latest project is an inspired double bill of saxophone and bass drum concertos which turn contemporary classical music on its head. The former is an intense piece full of character, unravelling intelligently like a dramatic play, punctuated by the sax’s unnervingly unexpected, gut churning tonal turns which leave you both dreading and relishing the puzzled idea of what’s to come. Its even stranger counterpart, the bass drum concerto, showcases the versatility of this much underappreciated instrument. When given centre stage, it proves to be a thunderous, explosive force of nature that bends and subverts our pre-conceived notions of what classical music is. Playful, at times startling but consistently fresh and experimental, the piece audaciously flirts with hip hop, cleverly pairing it with the string section. Watch out for the temperamental third movement, “Four to the Floor”, which sounds like a homage to Sergei Prokofiev’s iconic “Montagues and Capulets” from the Romeo and Juliet ballet.
by Eva Mackevic
READER RADAR: SCOTT SMYTH, HOTEL MANAGER
WATCHING: BAND OF BROTHERS An amazing Second World War series that is, in parts, graphic and, in others, an emotional roller coaster. Anyone who hasn’t watched it should make the time.
ONLINE: READLY I recently found the site readly.com which I use to expand my reading. And as much as I pretend not to like social media, I do dally in Facebook and Instagram—out of nosiness more than anything else.
READING: BECOMING BY MICHELLE OBAMA Currently flitting between this, The Art of War by Sun Tzu, Graham Norton’s book A Keeper and, of course, falling back in love with Reader’s Digest.
LISTENING: 1980S CLASSICS I’m also rekindling my forgotten love for Anastacia, and always listen to anything by Brian Justin Crum.
MUSIC EMAIL YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS TO READERSLETTERS@READERSDIGEST.CO.UK
September Fiction
An imaginative, ambitious thriller set in a dystopian future and a rich story of love, family and sacrifice are our favourite literary picks for the start of autumn…
The Second Sleep by Robert Harris (Hutchinson, £20)
The Second Sleep opens with a priest arriving on horseback in a Wessex village in 1468. Or so it seems. Within 20 pages, though, it’s clear that the novel is set not in the past but in a distant future where Britain has reverted to a medieval way of life and the Christian Church is all-powerful again. Church teaching is that around 2025 in the calendar of “the ancients”, God punished them for their blasphemous faith in science by unleashing the Apocalypse. But what if that isn’t true? What if the disaster that befell the ancients—with their rumoured flying machines and global communication devices—was man-made?
In other words, Harris has returned to the speculative fiction of his first
James Walton is a book reviewer and broadcaster, and has written and presented 17 series of the BBC Radio 4 literary quiz
The Write Stuff
novel, Fatherland, set in 1964, when Germany had won the war and nobody was allowed to wonder where the Jews had gone. Once again, there’s a wholly convincing alternative world in which a few brave heretics are determined to uncover the truth.
The result is a brilliantly imaginative thriller—although, not surprisingly, also a rather sombre one. “All civilisations consider themselves invulnerable,” writes one ancient in a letter from 2022. “History warns us that none is.”
The Dutch House by Ann Patchett (Bloomsbury, £18.99)
Like Anne Tyler, Ann Patchett writes novels that take us deep into the mysteries and mythologies of an individual family. Like Tyler as well, she’s often been wrongly criticised for being too nice. Admittedly, both share the unfashionable (but surely accurate) belief that most people try to be good.
BOOKS
122 • SEPTEMBER 2019
Yet, that doesn’t prevent either of them from including lots of darker moments—or from noting the damage that even good people can do.
The narrator of The Dutch House is Danny Conroy, whose mother left home when he was three, and whose father then left the parenting to Danny’s beloved older sister Maeve. Until, that is, the arrival of a bona fide evil stepmother…
From there, Patchett takes us through the lives of all concerned with complete assurance, plenty of lovely writing and a powerful awareness of both human fragility and human resilience. “Do you think it’s possible to ever see the past as it actually was?” Danny asks Maeve at one point. But, while the answer seems to be “probably not”, Danny keeps on trying, constantly changing his perspective in a way that’s always engrossing—and sometimes startling.
Name the author
Can you guess the writer from these clues (the fewer you need the better)?
1. One of her best-loved characters starred in a 2015 Sainsbury’s Christmas advert.
2. She was born in Berlin in 1923 and died in London earlier this year.
3. One of her best-loved books featured a greedy tiger.
Answer on p126
Paperbacks
Murder by the Book
by Claire Harman (Penguin, £9.99)
Gripping, beautifully-researched account of the 1840 murder of a Mayfair aristocrat, whose killer claimed to be influenced by a gory bestseller.
The Familiars
by Stacey Halls (Zaffre, £7.99)
Two women are caught up in the 17thcentury Lancashire witch trials in a debut novel that’s thought-provoking as well as page-turning.
The Perils of Perception: We’re Wrong about Nearly Everything
by Bobby Duffy (Atlantic, £8.99)
A refreshingly calm look at the facts behind today’s fevered debates.
The Garden of the Lost and Found by Harriet Evans (Headline Review, £7.99)
Sweeping family saga from an author being billed as new Maeve Binchy— maybe even fairly.
More Than Just a Good Life
by James Hogg (Constable, £10.99)
The official biography of the muchmissed Richard Briers, packed with anecdotes about the often surprising people he worked with—including Robert De Niro, Raquel Welch and Keanu Reeves.
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 123 READER’S DIGEST
RD’S RECOMMENDED READ
History Hunter
Lara Maiklem started taking long walks along the Thames as a way to heal her soul; little did she know, she was about to open a door to a fascinating past…
In 2002, Lara Maiklem moved to Greenwich in London, near the Thames. Because she was going through a painful break-up, she spent quite a lot of time wandering along the river—at first aimlessly, but then with a sudden sense of mission. Once she started to walk the river’s muddy shore (or foreshore) instead of the concrete path, she realised she was treading on history. Underfoot were any number of souvenirs of life in the Tudor palace that had stood nearby, and all were available for collection and investigation.
Unlike say, the Seine, the Thames is tidal—constantly washing centuries-old items on to the foreshore where they can be discovered at low tide. And, since the
Mudlarking: Lost and Found on the River
Thames by Lara
Maiklem is published by Bloomsbury at £16.99
mud contains no oxygen, it miraculously preserves what’s usually perishable. Soon, Maiklem had become a fully-fledged mudlark: studying when the river’s lowest tides would be, before setting off to see what she could find. In this delightful book she shares her enthusiasm so infectiously that I suspect I won’t be the only reader who vows to try mudlarking as soon as possible.
Strangely, it wasn’t until well into the 20th century that the kind of stuff Maiklem looks for was considered of much interest. When the Victorians built new bridges, they sometimes
BOOKS
124 • SEPTEMBER 2019
came across genuine treasures—but it doesn’t seem to have occurred to them that ordinary objects used by ordinary people could also provide a real insight into the past. Mudlarking proves just how wrong they were, as Maiklem mixes tales of her finds with fascinating glimpses into the everyday history they reveal.
Here, she’s near London Bridge where the fact that the lowest tides in memory won’t come until after midnight doesn’t, of course, put her off…
On the night the tide was due to fall to its lowest point, I found I wasn’t alone. As I lurked in the shadows, others began to arrive. We spoke in hushed tones, respectful of the unique moment we’d been afforded. It’s hard to explain the excitement of an exceptionally low tide: imagine Christmas Eve when you were about seven—a tummychurning, heart-pounding, lightheaded euphoria.
As the tide dropped lower, my head torch lit up treasures all around me: buttons, coins, buckles and shards of 18th-century tea bowls, many handpainted with delicate flowers; thickets of pins, beads and tiny metal studs that would have decorated medieval leather belts and jerkins; more clay pipes than I’d ever seen before.
Every time I stopped to scrutinise the foreshore there seemed to be something new to collect. I found a
A Note From History: More From Mudlarking
“A sailor would likely have played the Jew’s harp I once found sticking out of the mud in a pile of old ship nails. The Jew’s harp (thought by some to be a corruption of jaw harp) was the perfect instrument for sailors—small, cheap, portable and virtually unbreakable. It was only chance that I pulled on it that day and out came a small, round-headed copper alloy frame. The thin metal tongue that would have produced a twang when played had rusted away, but other than that it was in excellent condition. I finally found another earlier this year and this one even had its little tongue. I probably shouldn’t have risked it, but the temptation was too great. It seemed sound enough, so I decided to pluck it gently with one finger, just once, and it let out a single, magical, flat-toned note, the first noise it had made in over 300 years.”
READER’S DIGEST
‘‘
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 125
worn Georgian farthing and a blackened Elizabethan penny. My torch reflected off a late-16th-century jetton, the thin copper-alloy tokens imported from Germany and used as a reckoning counter to keep accounts, together with a chequered board. (The government’s accounting department is still known as the exchequer, after these boards.)
I had already emptied my finds bag into my rucksack twice when my torch ran over an open-ended oblong box, slightly thinner than a cigarette packet, with two comma-shaped perforations on either side and a scalloped edge. I could see it was carved from a single piece of bone or ivory, and something about it looked familiar. It was about the same shape and size as a scabbard chape—the protective fitting from the end of a sword sheath —but I’d only ever seen them in books and museums, and those had been made of metal. I wrapped it carefully in a plastic bag...
It turned out my scabbard chape was Roman, from the late second to
And the name of the author is…
Judith Kerr—whose family fled the Nazis in 1933. The Sainsbury’s star was Mog the cat, and the greedy tiger featured in The Tiger Who Came to Tea
“Every time I stopped to scrutinise the foreshore there was something new to collect”
third century—when it would have been specially commissioned for the auxiliary army. It is one of only two complete examples found in the UK. Its original owner would have worn a simple mail or scale shirt over a tunic, leather or woollen trousers in cold weather, and a metal helmet. He would have carried an ovalshaped shield and a spear or long sword from which the chape had fallen. It is unlikely he was British. Auxiliary soldiers were usually stationed in provinces away from their homeland to make them easier to control. I imagined a homesick soldier, serving his time in Britain and hoping for Roman citizenship as an acknowledgement for his services to the Empire. As his unit marched through London, his scabbard chape worked loose and fell off. Somehow it found its way into the river where it was preserved in the mud for almost 2,000 years. If it hadn’t been for such a low tide, if I hadn’t gone out in the darkness that night and if my head torch hadn’t pointed down in just the right place at just the right moment, I would never have found it. n
BOOKS
’’ 126 • SEPTEMBER 2019
Books
THAT CHANGED MY LIFE
Taylor Jenkins Reid is an acclaimed American novelist. Her new book, Daisy Jones and the Six, is out now, published by Hutchinson
Bridget Jones’s Diary
BY HELEN FIELDING
I was 12 when Bridget Jones’s Diary came out, and I wasn’t much of a reader. But when that book made its way into my hands, I remember opening it up and finding the diary entries to be far less intimidating than regular prose. Without even realising I was doing it, I settled down to read. Soon, I couldn’t get my nose out of that book. I loved seeing this wild-hearted mess of a woman tearing through the world. Perhaps what I love about it more than anything is that I have Bridget Jones to thank for introducing me to Pride and Prejudice.
The World According to Garp BY
JOHN IRVING
I was looking at a long train ride home for Thanksgiving during my sophomore year of college so I asked my roommate to lend me one of her books. She pushed The World According to Garp into my hand. I had no idea what to expect. As the train started moving, I started reading and by the time I got home, I was spellbound. Garp’s life story was so weird and yet affecting. That entire weekend I stole moments to myself to keep reading and by the time I got back to school, I found myself narrating my own life, imitating John Irving’s voice.
The Little Prince BY ANTOINE SAINT-EXUPÉRY
I read this for the first time at the age of 30. On one hand, I wished I had read it as a child. On the other, I suspect it wouldn’t have meant the same thing to me then. It’s a story of perspective, how we engage with the world, and of loss. It’s helped me with grief in the darker moments of my life, and it’s helped me find joy and magic in the everyday. I find myself turning to it to find a quote, and then realising I’ve accidentally gone and read it all all over again. n
FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/CULTURE SEPTEMBER 2019 • 127
Cosy At Home
As the days get shorter, Olly Mann tests out the gadgets you might want to consider for your bedroom. Dream a little dream of these...
BREATHE EASY
The Awair 2nd Edition (£169.99) is a handsome wood-cased gadget that will suit most bedroom decor, but it’s what you can’t see that matters: temperature, humidity, carbon dioxide, chemicals, and dust. By tracking these elements in real time and offering solutions to improve your air quality, it can help you improve your sleep or reduce your allergies—albeit in most cases the suggestions are as straightforward as buying some pot-plants or opening your windows.
Olly Mann presents Four Thought for BBC Radio 4, and the award-winning podcasts The Modern Mann and Answer Me This!
BLOW THE BUDGET
Hairdryers linger longer than most tech products (I got a novelty Duck N Dry in the 1980s, and never looked back), so when the time comes for an upgrade, it makes sense to invest in a good one. The futuristic contours of the Dyson Supersonic (£300) deliver fast, focused results, but for my money—£240 less, indeed—I’d plump for the innovative Panasonic EH-NA65 (£59.99), which deeply infuses hair with moisture as it dries, giving a rich and shiny finish. Particularly useful if you have curly hair that can be damaged by conventional dryers.
128 • SEPTEMBER
TIME FOR A NAP
Premium clock-radios now offer Alexa functionality, Bluetooth connectability, or both. But, let’s be honest: who wants a digital assistant listening in to your bedroom, and can you really be bothered to sync up your smartphone just for a morning alarm? The Roberts Ortus 3 (£89.99) has everything I actually need—a giant, dimmable display I can see without specs; any-button snooze functionality; and a top-quality DAB receiver with 20 presets. It even has a USB dock for phone-charging.
Toasty Tech
Electric blankets are an energy efficient way to keep cosy—but faffing about with the attached chunky controllers can be ungainly. Beurer have a savvy solution: their Monogram Smart Electric Blanket (£138.99) can be programmed via an app. Of course, a cheaper way to “smarten up” an existing electric blanket is simply to buy a smartplug, such as the reliable TP-LINK HS100 (£19.99), and set timers for that. But the advantage of Beurer’s system is you can select the specific temperature and heat zones too, not just turn it on and off.
TECHNOLOGY
You Couldn’t Make It Up
Win £30 for your true, funny stories!
Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk
MY SISTER'S NEIGHBOURS had asked her if she would keep an eye on their house while they were away on holiday. Perhaps she should have re-read her text for any missing letters before sending them a update. She'd written, “House fine, checked, and had a quick pee in the living room.”
KATHLEEN STANFORD, Merseyside
I SAW AN ADVERT FOR A NEW JOB. The company were looking for people who were good at English and who had a keen eye for detail.
I grinned knowing I ticked both those boxes and sent off my CV and a covering letter.
I didn't hear back and only discovered why when I later looked at the covering letter I'd sent. I'd finished it with “I look forward to hearing from you shorty,” which may have had something to do with it...
ESTHER NEWTON, Berkshire
MY GRANDMOTHER WAS EXCITED because there was an old re-run of a Dinah Shore programme.
My young son was caught up in
her excitement too, but when it was on TV he looked very disappointed. “Great Grandma,” he announced, “This is not about dinosaurs!”
DAISY DAVID, Hertfordshire
THE COUPLE NEXT TO ME in the doctors’ waiting room were discussing what colour to paint their bedroom when the man spotted a poster on the opposite wall.
“That pale yellow, second from top would be perfect,” he said triumphantly. His wife looked over
CARTOON: MIROSLAV BARTÁK
FUN & GAMES 130 • SEPTEMBER 2019
and nodded in agreement.
I got up to get a closer look at it and realised that it was a hydration chart showing different shades of urine.
ANDREW BERRY, Lincolnshire
WHEN MY GRANDSON WAS IN PLAYGROUP the children were given targets to achieve. His target was to learn to share. After a few days he confidently said to the playgroup leaders, “I don't like my target, can I have another one?”
MARTYN HALL, Vale of Glamorgan
I WAS TALKING ABOUT my friend's son who had completed his university degree and was now working his way up to be a barrister.
My ten-year-old grandson overheard and commented in a very disapproving tone, “He spent all that money on university fees and he's only a barista?”
STEPHEN BYRON, Merseyside
I TOOK MY GRANDSON TO THE CARD SHOP with me and told him to look for a birthday card to give to his mum.
He was taking ages, so I tried to help by asking what sort of card he was looking for.
“The kind with with money inside” was his retort.
CORRINE HARDY, Denbighshire
MY BROTHER GOT STOPPED BY A POLICEMAN while driving and was
asked if he knew that one of his tail lights was out.
In all seriousness my brother replied, “No, officer. Because I drive from the inside of my car.”
No wonder the policeman gave him a ticket!
KENDRA SEVILLE Merseyside
ON A CAMPING HOLIDAY, MY
DAUGHTER SAW A DOG that belonged to the owner of the camp. Rushing over, she began stroking it saying, “Good boy Elsan” and proudly declared she had seen its name on its kennel near the toilet block. Trying not to laugh, I explained to her what a chemical toilet disposal point was.
MICHAEL SMITH, Nottinghamshire
OUR SON, WHO’S AT UNIVERSITY, often calls asking for money. One time his dad answered and agreed to send him some money adding that he’d left an important course text book and he would send it to him at the same time—but our son didn’t seem too bothered about the book. I asked my husband later how much he had sent him.
“£20,” he replied.
I was surprised as that wasn't going to go very far but he explained, “I clipped the £20 to the front of the book and taped a £100 cheque on the inside cover of the book. He'll find it when he eventually opens it.”
SEREN ROBERTS, Denbighshire
READER’S DIGEST
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 131
It’s never been easier to enjoy the world’s favourite magazine!
YES I want to subscribe to Reader’s Digest Magazine for just £3 for 3 issues (a saving of £8.37 on the shop price of £11.37 based on the cover price of £3.79 per issue). I understand that if I do not wish to continue receiving Reader’s Digest after my first 3 issues I can simply cancel my subscription by contacting customer services. If I do want to continue to subscribe after my first 3 issues I need do nothing and my subscription will automatically be renewed at the low rate of £7.50 for every 3 issues until I decide otherwise.
JULY2019 HEALTH • MONEY • TRAVEL • RECIPES • FASHION • TECHNOLOGY READER’S DIGEST | SMALL AND PERFECTLY INFORMED SPACE The Final Frontier Of Galactic Travel TOURISM Danny Boyle HEALTH • MONEY • TRAVEL • RECIPES • FASHION • TECHNOLOGY READER’S DIGEST SMALL AND PERFECTLY INFORMED DOING TIME Britain’sAgeing PrisonPopulation OnCooking, Cricket And OCD Harriott Ainsley AND BRITISHNESS Please complete direct debit mandate below Name of Bank ...................................................................... Account Holder Branch: / / Account No Instructions to your bank or Building Society: Pay Reader’s Digest Direct Debits from the account detailed on this instruction subject to the safeguards assured by the Direct Debit Guarantee. I understand that this instruction may remain with Reader’s Digest and if so will be passed electronically to my Bank or Building Society. Signature ..................................................................... Date .............................................................................. INSTRUCTIONS TO YOUR BANK OR BUILDING SOCIETY TO PAY BY DIRECT DEBIT. Originators reference: 400162
Name: Address: Postcode: Telephone: Email:
alongside
profiles.
Sort Code Data Protection: From time to time Reader’s Digest may contact you with details of its products and services. Please tick here if you object to receiving such information Return your completed form to: Reader’s Digest, The Maltings, West Street, Bourne PE10 9PH Or call us today on 0330 333 2220 Quoting code RDN066 FOR JUST £3! SEPTEMBER2019 HEALTH • MONEY • TRAVEL • RECIPES • FASHION • TECHNOLOGY SEPTEMBER2019 £3.79 readersdigest.co.uk READER’S DIGEST SMALL AND PERFECTLY INFORMED SEPTEMBER 2019 Ziggy Marley 14 Musings On Fear, Fame And His Father The Building Blocks To Mental Health? LEGO Forever Young INSIDE THE RACE TO CURE MORTALITY CULTURE
Each must-read monthly issue covers life, culture, health, books, films, food, humour and travel
in-depth news features, memoirs and celebrity
IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR
Word Power
Are you smarter than a 10 year old? We’ve been saving up these words—from the Princeton Review’s Word Smart: Genius Edition test-prep guide—for our most confident quiz takers. Turn the page for answers
BY EMILY COX & HENRY RATHVON
1. umbrage n.—A: resentment. B: bright sunshine. C: complete and utter confusion.
2. sobriquet n.—A: somebody's nickname. B: a tight bandage. C: to barbecue coal.
3. feckless adj.—A: bold and daring. B: clear complexion. C: weak and somewhat ineffective.
4. bailiwick n.—A: special domain. B: a special occasions candle. C: dugout canoe.
5. onus n.—A: provision of proof of residency or status. B: burden. C: unique entity.
6. ductile adj.—A: of plumbing. B: easily shaped or influenced. C: hard to locate or define.
7. troglodyte n.—A: cave dweller or reclusive person. B: bird of prey. C: know-it-all.
8. paean n.—A: to cry out in fervent prayer. B: someone who is a lowly worker. C: song of praise.
9. sangfroid n.—A: to have the air of a snooty attitude. B: remaining cool under pressure. C: French chef.
10. redoubtable adj.—A: open to debate. B: famous. C: formidable.
11. imprecate v.—A: accuse. B: curse. C: pester or distract.
12. modicum n.—A: small portion. B: middle path. C: a daily dosage.
13. somnambulist n.—A: someone who is known to be a sleepwalker. B: a professional hypnotiser. C: historian.
14. restive adj.—A: particularly comfortable. B: left over. C: fidgety.
15. anomie n.—A: arch foe. B: an undeniable feeling of mutual attraction. C: social instability.
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 133
AND GAMES
FUN
Answers
1. umbrage—[A] resentment. Why did your team take such umbrage at being called the underdogs?
2. sobriquet—[A] nickname. Say, Paul, how did you get the sobriquet 'Grumpy'?
3. feckless—[C] weak and ineffective. In formal debate, “Oh, yeah?” is a rather feckless rebuttal.
4. bailiwick—[A] special domain. “Ask me anything about grammar,” the curmudgeonly copy editor said. “That’s my bailiwick.”
5. onus—[B] burden. “The onus,” Mr Peterson barked, “is on your boys to fix my broken window.”
6. ductile—[B] easily shaped or influenced. Decisive? No. Tara’s opinions are sometimes as ductile as Play-Doh.
7. troglodyte [A] cave dweller or reclusive person. I wouldn’t go so far as to call Jim a troglodyte, but he’s definitely on the shy side.
8. paean—[C] song of praise. Let us raise a toast and a rousing paean to Jay and Cathy’s wedding!
9. sangfroid—[B] coolness under pressure. With unrelenting sangfroid, Abdul remained a pro at the poker table despite the high stakes.
10. redoubtable—[C] formidable. The keeper shuddered as the redoubtable Ellen White strode up to shoot.
11. imprecate—[B] curse. Before being banished, the witch ominously threatened to imprecate the town for five generations.
12. modicum—[A] small portion. All I ask is a modicum of cooperation with the housework.
13. somnambulist—[A] sleepwalker. For a somnambulist, Lady Macbeth is rather talkative.
14. restive—[C] fidgety. Peter got so restive during the SAT, he chewed his pencil almost to the lead.
WORD OF THE DAY*
FANFARONADE:
A grandiose trumpet blast, or arrogant talk
Alternative suggestions: "Fanfare at the opening of the lemonade factory”
“When you mistakenly apply the marmalade to your hair as a styling gel"
15. anomie—[C] social instability. Apparently there’s too much anomie in Parliament for the bill to be passed.
13–15: Mastermind
WORD POWER *POST YOUR DEFINITIONS EVERY DAY AT FACEBOOK.COM/READERSDIGESTUK
VOCABULARY RATINGS
9 & below: Neophyte
10–12: Apprentice
134
This is a Lifetime Mortgage which may impact the value of your estate and could affect your entitlement to means tested state benefits. To understand the features and risks, ask for a personalised illustration.
Reader’s Digest Equity Release is a trading style of Responsible Life Limited. Only if your case completes will Responsible Life Limited charge an advice fee, currently not exceeding £1,490.
Don’t Fall For The Myths! CLAIM YOUR FREE GUIDE!
you.
to: FREEPOST
Name: Address: RDPRINT Postcode: Telephone: Email: 0800 029 1233 Call freephone:
Packed with real life examples of how equity release works, customer stories and facts and figures to help you see if equity release could work for
Or complete this coupon and post
READERS DIGEST EQUITY RELEASE (no further address is needed)
Brainteasers
Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles, then check your answers on p139
PEEKABOO
Using the typeface below as a guide, can you determine what addition equation has been covered up by the yellow panels?
AN IMPERFECT FIT
Imagine the two-dimensional shape D is fixed in place, whereas shapes A, B and C can be rotated. D sits in a three-sided box, meaning the other shapes can be placed onto it only from above, without sticking out past it to the right or the left. One of the three cannot be placed onto D without leaving any blank space beneath it in the box. Which one?
A B C D
ARITHME-PICK
Place one of the four arithmetic operations (+, –, ×, ÷) in each box to make a correct equation. Symbols may be repeated, and you don’t have to use all four. All operations are performed from left to right, ignoring the mathematical order of operations. The result at each step must be a positive whole number. What’s the equation?
3 5 4
FUN & GAMES 136 • SEPTEMBER 2019
33
1 2 =
(Peekaboo) Darren r igby; ( a n i m P erfect f it) Sue Dohrin; ( a rithmeP ick) f ra S er Sim PS on
CROSSED LETTERS
Place either A, B, C or D into each of the 25 empty cells so that the number of times each letter appears in a given row or column is as indicated by the numbers beside or above that row or column. Identical letters cannot be next to each other in the grid, either horizontally or vertically. Can you complete the grid?
MAKE IT WORK
Arrange the whole numbers from one to nine in a three-by-three grid so that all of the following conditions are satisfied:
✦ All nine numbers are used, one per cell.
✦ One row has a product of 30.
✦ The number in the lower-left corner is the sum of the numbers in the other three corners.
✦ There’s a row with a sum of 21.
✦ No even number is immediately to the left of another even number.
✦ No odd number is immediately below another odd number.
✦ There’s a column with a sum of 10.
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 137 READER’S DIGEST A 2 2 1 1 1 B 2 1 0 1 1 C 0 2 1 1 1 A B C D 1 0 3 2 2 1 0 2 2 1 1 1 2 1 1 2 1 3 1 0 1 1 2 0 2
( c ro SS e D Letter S ) f ra S er Sim PS on; ( m ake i t Work) r o D erick k imba LL
CROSSWISE Test your general knowledge. Answers on p142 ACROSS 7 Missing (6) 8 Enormous (8) 9 Type of lights (8) 10 Shrink back (6) 11 Saviour (8) 12 Man (6) 13 Moving to and fro (11) 18 Austrian composer (6) 20 Inspector (8) 22 Light-hearted TV show (6) 23 Person practising deception under an assumed name (8) 24 Forced high notes (8) 25 Tooth covering (6) DOWN 1 Belly (7) 2 Uneasy (8) 3 Flowing water (6) 4 Yes (3,5) 5 Tapered frozen mass (6) 6 Circumscribed (7) 8 Supreme commander (13) 14 Cosy (8) 15 Abroad (8) 16 Of local interest (7) 17 Regimental commander (7) 19 Charge (6) 21 Small sword (6) 138 • SEPTEMBER 2019 BRAINTEASERS
BRAINTEASERS: ANSWERS
THE FIRST CORRECT ANSWER WE PICK WINS £50!*
Email excerpts@readersdigest.co.uk
ANSWER TO AUGUST’S PRIZE QUESTION
Which is the odd word out? OBVIOUS
139
DIGEST
READER’S
0
IMPERFECT
B.
+ 5
4 –
+ 2 = 33
A C D C D D A C D B B C D A C A B A D A B A D B D 5 2 3 8 7 6 9 4 1 A C
AND THE £50 GOES TO… Ivan Christon, Leicester Scant Pleasurable Ideas Appealingly Transaction Aurus Alien
PEEKABOO AN
FIT
ARITHME-PICK 3
×
1
CROSSED LETTERS MAKE IT WORK
Laugh!
Win £30 for every reader’s joke we publish!
Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk
YOU DON’T GET ANY FORMAL TRAINING for being a parent. I never got a course on hanging out with five year olds, but I have hung out with drunk girls, and it’s really pretty much the same thing.
They make you late for everything, they insist on wearing something ridiculous, and the night ends with some kind of drama about a random tiara that no one came in with.
And the car ride home is always, “Are we going to McDonald’s? Cause you said we would!”
COMEDIAN
ZOE RODGERS
I KEEP SAYING THAT I’VE GOT TO start working out. But I just don’t
Rooting For You
Jack took the task of caring for the plants while his housemate was on holiday extremely seriously (via @ LaurenFrench on Twitter)
have the time, which is odd. Because I do have the time to go out to dinner… And watch TV… And get a bone density test… And try to figure out what my phone number would spell in words…
COMEDIAN ELLEN DEGENERES
MEN DON’T CARE WHAT’S ON TV, they only care what else is on TV.
COMEDIAN JERRY SEINFELD
IT WOULD BE SO EMBARRASSING TRYING to explain what an appetiser is to someone from a starving country. “Yeah, the appetiser—that’s the food we eat before we have our food. No, no, you’re thinking of
140 • SEPTEMBER 2019 FUN & GAMES
dessert—that’s food we have after we have our food.
We eat tons of food. Sometimes there’s so much we just stick it in a bag and bring it home. Then we throw it out the next day. Maybe give it to the dog…”
scooters mobile? If you buy a scooter and it’s not mobile…you have purchased a chair. SEEN ONLINE
MY FRIEND GOT A PERSONAL TRAINER A year before his wedding.
COMEDIAN JIM GAFFIGAN
MY THERAPIST TELLS ME I HAVE A preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that…
COMEDIAN ADAM HILLS
I WENT TO MY DOCTOR FOR A REFERRAL for a therapist. While I was there he conducted a physical check up too. When he came back with the results he told me I was “technically obese”.
Basically I went to a medical professional and told them I’m sad sometimes and he replied, “And you’re fat too.”
COMEDIAN DAN WILBUR
MY MOTHER WANTS ME TO HELP HER BUY a mobility scooter. I think the term “mobility” in “mobility scooter” is redundant. Aren’t all
I said, “Bloody hell! How long is the aisle going to be?” SEEN ONLINE
THERE ARE ONLY TWO CONDITIONS where you’re allowed to wake a woman up during a lie-in; it’s snowing, or the death of a celebrity.
COMEDIAN MICHAEL MCINTYRE
WHEN I WAS IN AMERICA I GOT REALLY into the culture. I went into a shop and the guy said, “Have a nice day”, and I didn’t, so I sued him.
COMEDIAN MILTON JONES
I WAS BAD AT TALKING TO GIRLS AT school, even when I tried the angle of being in a band. I’d say, “Yo, do you wanna come see my band on Friday?”
“What’s the name of your band?”
“Marching.”
COMEDIAN TIM ROSS
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 141 READER’S DIGEST
Quit While You’re Ahead
Twitter users share the hilarious ways they’ve left bad jobs…
@NeilaRocks: Before I left my job, I set my boss’ computer so that every time he typed his name it changed it to “I like ponies”.
@KristenRose124: My coworkers and I quit as a group. We told our boss off and then left together in a limo we had waiting in the car park.
@JeremyRaleyYG: My friends, dressed as FBI agents, ran into my office shouting, “We finally got you.” and chased me out the door. I never went back.
@TheRealRHickey: I worked at a McDonald’s while I was in secondary school. I asked my boss for a weekend off to visit a university and they told me that I had to choose: university or McDonald’s.
CROSSWORD ANSWERS
I WENT TO THE DOCTOR RECENTLY AND he told me I have hypochondria.
I said, “Not that as well!”
COMEDIAN TIM VINE
I THINK IT’S SAD THAT THE WORD
“LEGEND” HAS been devalued from pulling a sword out of a stone to unexpectedly returning with crisps.
COMEDIAN GARY DELANEY
I TRUST PEOPLE AS FAR AS I CAN THROW THEM. Which means I really trust babies, and it also means people really don’t want me around their babies. SEEN ONLINE
HOW MANY PSYCHOLOGISTS DOES IT take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
LUCY PESARO, Middlesex
MY EX GIRLFRIEND AND I HAD different love languages. I liked to express my feelings through words and doing of nice things. And she liked to express her feelings to other dudes.
COMEDIAN CJ HERNANDEZ
IT’S MUGGY OUTSIDE, BUT INSIDE?
It’s burglary. COMEDIAN KEVIN L SCHWARTZ
PEOPLE WHO OWN SELFIE STICKS NEED to take a good, long look at themselves.
COMEDIAN ABI ROBERTS
Across: 7 Absent, 8 Galactic, 9 Northern, 10 Recoil, 11 Redeemer, 12 Geezer, 13 Oscillation, 18 Mozart, 20 Surveyor, 22 Sitcom, 23 Impostor, 24 Falsetto, 25 Enamel.
Down: 1 Abdomen, 2 Restless, 3 Stream, 4 All right, 5 Icicle, 6 Limited, 8 Generalissimo, 14 Intimate, 15 Overseas, 16 Topical, 17 Colonel, 19 Accuse, 21 Rapier.
LAUGH
142 • SEPTEMBER 2019
60-Second
Stand-Up
We chat to Helen and Ellie from the hilarious duo, Scummy Mummies
WHAT’S THE BEST PART OF YOUR CURRENT SHOW? Apart from our amazing gold catsuits—it’s the Scummy Mummy confessions. Every night will be a different show because we ask every member of our audience to write something down. It could be anything from disasters on school holidays to having to wee in a nappy. We have a big competition at the end, where we read out the best ones and crown a queen or king of scum. Yes, men are very welcome too!
WHO INSPIRES YOUR COMEDY?
Our kids are a big inspiration because family life is messy, and sometimes hard and often funny so that’s a big source of material. We also get inspiration from double acts such as French and Saunders, Mel and Sue. The funniest thing is real life, the ridiculous daily situations.
DO YOU FIND ANY PARTS OF THE COUNTRY TO BE FUNNIER THAN OTHERS? The further away from London you get, the more appreciative the audiences are, they
get pretty excited and lairy. We did a gig in Cornwall and they partied pretty hard. At one point a fight broke out and someone in the third row threw up.
WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE ONELINER? Ellie’s one liner: Ikea is actually made up of two Swedish words; Ika which means Sunday and Kea which means ruined.
IF YOU HAD A SUPERPOWER WHAT WOULD IT BE? To make everyone quiet for a day. Or to have one hour of sleep that feels like you’ve had eight.
IF YOU COULD BE A FLY ON THE WALL, WHOSE WALL WOULD YOU BE ON? Being a fly on the wall at Nigella Lawson’s house would be great because she makes lovely food and always looks like she has a great time with a glass of wine in tow. n
The Scummy Mummies Show is touring across the UK from September 20 to December 1. Go to scummymummies.com for tickets and more information
FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/INSPIRE/HUMOUR
SEPTEMBER 2019 • 143
Beat the Cartoonist!
Think of a witty caption for this cartoon—the three best suggestions, along with the cartoonist’s original, will be posted on our website in mid-August. If your entry gets the most votes, you’ll win £50
Submit to captions@readersdigest.co.uk or online at readersdigest.co.uk/fun-games by September 7. We’ll announce the winner in our October issue.
Our cartoonist is doomed to spend yet another month without his crown, as his caption, “I say we boycott Japanese products,” failed to win you over. Instead, our reader Darrell Perry won the most votes with his caption, “Since she left I just blubber all day.” Congratulations Darrell! Enter using the details above for your own chance to take the caption crown.
In the October Issue
Louis Theroux
The man who launched a thousand memes talks about his childhood, documentary making and Jimmy Saville.
July’s Winner CARTOONST:
I Remember: Lulu
The Scottish singer looks back on her life and career
Plus THE FUTURE OF FOOD
An A-Z of the latest innovations changing the way we eat
LAUGH
BILL HOUSTON
/ RUSSEL
(TOP)
HERNEMAN
144 • SEPTEMBER 2019
practices, good
CAN BE SOLVED IN 1 TO 2 DAYS WITH THIS INNOVATIVE ENERGY-SAVING SOLUTION. LEAVES YOUR ROOF MAINTENANCE FREE FOR 30 YEARS GUARANTEED.
ACT NOW! SAVE ENERGY, SAVE MONEY & PROTECT YOUR ROOF FOR LIFE FREEPHONE: 0800 999 4880 www.roofsure.co.uk Visit us online at: OVER 60? YOU MAY BE ELIGIBLE FOR FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE OR A SUBSIDY PAYMENT AS SEEN ON GRAND DESIGNS 2017 No more loose tiles No more draughts No more leaks “Better than a new roof at a fraction of the cost” REASONS
FREE NO OBLIGATION SURVEY GUARANTEE SAVE 25%
REDUCE HEAT LOSS BY UP TO 58%
WHY 100s of Thousands OF CUSTOMERS HAVE ALREADY CHOSEN ROOFSURE: We never use sub- contractors, only our expertly trained sta 30-year manufacturers guarantee + 10-year insurance-backed guarantee We have the Government’s Trust Mark for “Good trading practices, good customer service and technical competence” The UK’s no.1 foam insulation company Our unique spray-on foam insulates, waterproofs, bonds and lines your roof Will reduce heat loss by up to 58% - save money! The whole process takes just 1-2 days - quick, easy, clean A family run business for 30 years
PROBLEMS