Reader's Digest UK Sep 2023

HARRISON FORD

On Time, Tolerance And Technology

Families Reunited How DNA Testing Is Bringing Relatives Together HOW TO WORRY WELL The Surprising Upsides Of Anxiety

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Olly Mann on how tinkering videos on YouTube led him to discover a love of vintage items

The Hollywood icon and star of Indiana Jones reflects on age, patience and technology

The acclaimed chef and cofounder of the Michelin-starred River Cafe looks back on her extraordinary life

Anxiety is often viewed as a negative but this emotion can be used to help us manage uncertainty and stay safe

How celebrating other people's successes and victories can actually lead to more of our own in our daily lives

DNA testing and advances in technology are allowing families who have spent decades apart to finally search and find each other

When your grown child leaves home, pain and grieving can affect you but here's how to deal with it

How a nation of saunas and startups has become one of Europe's most intriguing travel destinations

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Time A Through Journey

We hope you’re as excited as we are to see screen legend Harrison Ford’s unmistakable smirk on this month’s cover. With an illustrious career that spans iconic films like Indiana Jones , Blade Runner, and Star Wars, Ford’s influence on cinema is immeasurable and is sure to leave a lasting impression on generations to come. In our interview, the actor shares his insights on ageing gracefully, the power of storytelling, and his surreal experience of seeing his digitally de-aged self in the final Indiana Jones film, The Dial of Destiny . Grateful but never maudlin, the wise-cracking film legend reminisces about his Hollywood heyday on p18.

Speaking of journeys down memory lane, we are thrilled to unveil an exciting addition to our beloved “Over to You” pages in the upcoming issue. This special extension will pay homage to the rich legacy and remarkable history of Reader’s Digest, which spans over a century. We invite you, our readers, to share your most touching, humorous, and cherished memories of the magazine. Whether it helped you learn English while living abroad or held a special place on your Nana’s bookshelves, we want to hear your stories. Send us your letters at readersletters@readersdigest.co.uk, and let’s celebrate the memories that have made our magazine a trusty companion over the years.

Eva eva mackevic Editor-in-Chief

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Over To You

LETTERS ON THE July ISSUE

We pay £30 for every published letter

Olly Says Relax

I think I know where Olly Mann was coming from in his column “Saturday Sabbath”. He likes to keep one day per week for relaxation. Good for him!

We all look forward to our days off, whether it's a weekend, a personal day or a holiday—we count the hours until we finally get a stretch of free time and can make it a relaxing day. Alas, days off don't always live up to expectations. And in the past, I've felt I shouldn't squander my day off and should be doing something constructive. Why I felt like this, I don't know!

I am going to take a leaf out of Olly's book from now on and make one day a week a relaxing day—and a little more special—taking a bath or an extra-long shower, enjoying a delicious snack or curling up with a book on my hammock. Even if I can't spend the whole day doing what

I love, I am not going to let that hold me back from dedicating a few hours to simple pleasures that make me smile. Thanks Olly, for the pep-talk!

KAY MADDOCKS, Hertfordshire

Love To Laugh

I enjoyed “Ask a Comedian” with Andy Parsons. I love to laugh. It's been scientifically proven that laughing can help your physical and mental health. And one of the best ways is to go to a stand-up comedy show.

Not far away, we have a monthly one at a theatre. I never miss it. I just love comedy in general. Sometimes it makes me cringe, yes, sometimes I think it is inappropriate, but overall I know the comedians are going to entertain. It's definitely cheaper than therapy! Personally, it reduces my stress, lowers my blood pressure, and provides an outlet to get rid of my negative thoughts and emotions that plague me, if only temporarily. My favourite comedian is Micky Flanagan.

I love Mock the Week and, in particular, Andy Parsons. It's got to be one of the funniest programmes on TV. And it doesn't really matter that some parts are scripted—the delivery of the lines is timed perfectly and anyone with a sense of humour will definitely laugh a lot!

Wonderful World

I enjoyed “Vision Quest” about the family who are travelling the world before the kids lose their vision to a rare genetic condition. When three of the four children were diagnosed with a genetic disease that will eventually leave them blind, they decided to give their children as many visual memories as they could—and see the world. The family is six months into their year-long trip and have so far travelled to Namibia, Zambia, Tanzania, Turkey, Mongolia and Indonesia. What sensible and loving parents they are.

I have a friend who has an autistic daughter, and she did something similar before her condition got worse, as sadly it did. She travelled round Australia and New Zealand and then to Thailand and Singapore for 18 months. Her daughter was eight at the time.

Who can blame parents wanting their children to see more of this wonderful world we live in while they can fully appreciate it? However, I do feel that with parents like Sébastien and Edith, their children will cope well with their blindness one day and still achieve great things. Good luck to this lovely family.

RIA HARDING, Cambridgeshire

At The Arboretum

by Jennie Gardner, Bath

Everybody’s been raving about going forest bathing, So, I thought I’d go and see if this new trend’s for me

Apparently, it’s an ancient art to want to get up close to bark, And now there’s also the seasonal trail, a playpark and a boat to sail

Quiet benches, shady nooks and myriad places to read a book, The air is pure, the smell is clean and silence tends to reign supreme

There’s a wobbly bridge, and a look out nest, even a full-on nature quest, Insects scuttle over browned trunks, feet scuffle through woodchip chunks

It’s a place to learn, explore, exalt, a place where everything can halt, A sanctuary for birds and bees, a place where I can be at ease

Amongst these trees, my life is brighter and my spirit so much lighter And here’s the most important thing—when I’m here my heart doth sing

POETRY CORNER

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Oft Have I Written

by Dave Bolt, Warwick

Oft have I written, line on line, To soothe this troubled mind of mine. Oft in verse, and oft in rhyme. Such a pleasant way to soothe the mind.

My mind is troubled with many things, Problems which, at times, doth seem to sting Like wasps! But then— I crush them with my mighty pen.

But now I fear I must conclude, This brief, poetic interlude. For these few lines, however crude, Have certainly relieved my troubled mood.

turn the page

…DIFFERENTLY

On September 19, 2021, the Cumbre Vieja volcano erupted on the Canary Island of La Palma. For almost three months, it repeatedly ejected red-hot lava and vast quantities of ash. When the eruptions ended on December 13, several hundred hectares of banana plantations, over 40 miles of roads and 1,300 homes were covered by lava and ash. No persons were harmed. Forewarned by earthquakes, the authorities had evacuated residents of endangered areas in time.

Pretty Things Old

From watching tinkering videos, Olly Mann realises a love of retro and repaired items

If you’ve never seen a tinkering video, picture a middle-aged bloke in a shed, unctuously dismantling an old Walkman, and then, "just for fun", putting it back together. The vibe is essentially an anoraky edition of The Repair Shop, but filmed on a smartphone, that for half its duration is solely a close-up of a hook spring.

I’ve met tinkering-type guys before: handing out flyers at antiques fairs, manning miniature railways, volunteering at community radio stations…they’re amiable enough chaps, but I am not one of them. I’m neither intrinsically intrigued by how things work, nor worry that the world is moving so quickly I must retreat to my mancave, surrounded only by objects that can be mended with a screwdriver.

I embrace technology. I prefer contactless payment to cash, streaming music to owning music, and Beyond Burger to Big Macs. And yet, after a few hours in the virtual company

Olly Mann presents Four Thought for BBC Radio 4, and the podcasts The Modern Mann, The Week Unwrapped and The Retrospectors

of tinkerers, I found myself becoming increasingly drawn in.

Partly, I suspect, this is because the items typically featured in the videos are so relatable: a battered control for a Nintendo Wii, a junked cast iron pan, an Epson dot matrix printer. This isn’t restoring a Rembrandt; this is the stuff we all have in our attics.

I also felt what one might call the "Bake Off effect": the magnetic pull of watching a process unfolding, from beginning to end, with a compelling

do I use them? Because they’re simply more charming than a faceless smart speaker.

Then, there’s my books. I have thousands of books, despite the fact I also own an e-reader. I had a special bookshelf constructed in my sitting room, spanning from cornice to cornice, just to contain them all. There are reference books about film and music, crispy-paged holiday novels, and academic textbooks repurposed as doorstops (if you

I'VE STARTED BUYING MORE VINTAGE ITEMS AND I'M FEELING AN UPLIFT IN MY WELLBEING

momentum to resolution despite the incredibly low stakes actually involved. An afternoon had passed, and I had done nothing but watch quite old men repair quite old things.

This made me reflect on the quite old things I have around me, and how they found their way into my home. And I began to realise that maybe I’m not quite as "modern" as I like to think.

For example, the music I listen to comes from Spotify, yes, but via one of two devices: a Denon CD/ MiniDisc/cassette HiFi bought from Currys in 1999; and a replica woodcarved 1940s wireless I got from a charity shop in Rochester, then unceremoniously shoved an Amazon Echo Dot speaker into. Neither item exactly screams "21st century". Why

happen to have a copy of EighteenthCentury Poetry: An Annotated Anthology, I endorse its utilitarian heft). Why do I keep these? Because they’re prettier than a blank wall. Because they’re nicer to touch than a Kindle.

In my home studio, I have the obligatory iMac, fluorescent ringlight, and acoustic panelling from Ikea’s post-pandemic WFH range. All very 2023. But what is it that I’m actually speaking into, when I record my audio? A microphone stand I was given for my bar mitzvah. What am I sitting on? A mid-century leather swivel chair my father used to have in his office. Why? Because these furnishings provide links with the past and help to dilute the discombobulation of

remote working. They are nostalgic. They are comforting.

Older-looking designs, I’ve realised, make me feel good. Perhaps this is because I grew up in a 400-year-old house, replete with wooden beams and creaky floorboards. In any case, now I know this about myself, I’ve started buying more vintage items, or retro-styled ones, and I am honestly feeling an uplift in my wellbeing. In the past few months, I’ve treated myself to a Groundhog Day-style 1970s clockradio, a 1960s cottage kitchen unit, and a wooden egg timer my kids use when brushing their teeth.

Best of all, when my birthday came along, my wife got me a Bluetooth typewriter from America. Seemingly crafted out of wood and aluminium, it has clicky, clunky, mechanical keys like a 1930s Corona, but,

ta-da!, it's actually a state of the art keyboard with gamer-style backlit keys that shine as you touch them. It’s gorgeous, and makes me feel like Cary Grant in His Girl Friday. Modern function, classic form: that’s my sweet spot.

This flirtation with bygone gadgets and gizmos has its limits. I dug my GameBoy out the drawer the other day, before reluctantly acknowledging that, truly, I would rather be scrolling Twitter. But now I’m more aware of my preference for classic design, I’m perhaps more likely to think about repairing something before giving it away.

Apart from my old keyboard, of course: I recently sold that on eBay, even though it was only from 2022. After all, I had a new one to replace it. I suspect the tinkerers may have more to teach me... n

A two-week celebration of London's homes, architecture and neighbourhoods, this festival allows you to get inside iconic buildings and best kept secrets

This year, Open House Festival takes place over two weekends, September 9-10 and 16-17, and also includes urban walks and tours

For more information about highlights of the 2023 programme and tickets, as well as newsletter and social media details, head to open-city.org.uk

SOURCE: OPEN-CITY.ORG.UK

Open House Festival

Harrison Ford

“I Love Being Older”

By Vicky Dearden

The screen legend opens up about his long path to success, ageing, and his final Indiana Jones film

In a Hollywood journey filled with serendipitous twists and unexpected luck, few actors have experienced a career as diverse and prolific as Harrison Ford. From the fearless Indiana Jones to the sardonic Han Solo and the world-weary Rick Deckard, Ford’s portrayal of iconic characters has left an indelible mark on cinema and pop culture. Yet, the irony lies in how many of his career-defining roles fell into this self-proclaimed “late bloomer’s” lap by chance.

Born in Chicago to Dorothy, a radio actor, and Christopher Ford, an actor-turned-advertising-executive, Harrison got disillusioned with pursuing a career on the silver screen as a young man, having failed to land any significant parts after multiple attempts. Instead, he turned to professional carpentry as a means to support his then-wife and two young sons.

But fate had other plans. While working as a carpenter in Hollywood, Ford crossed paths with numerous celebrity clients such as Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne. One of them was legendary producer Fred Roos, who hired him to build a door in the American Zoeotrope offices, where director George Lucas was holding the

casting call for Star Wars. Little did Ford know that this chance encounter would lead to his breakthrough role as the charismatic Han Solo. Lucas was captivated by Ford’s reading and offered him the iconic role, catapulting him to stardom.

“I had to wait for luck to come along,” says Ford with his trademark curmudgeonly charm. “But during that time, I had the opportunity to learn a bit of craft. Because luck won’t save the day. There’s a skill involved in what we do, and the art that surfaces in our work is a spirit we all seek. My luck has been to find my way into this crowd of geniuses—and not get my ar*e kicked out when I didn’t do as well as I wanted to!”.

Ford’s next lucky break came when he auditioned for the role of Indiana Jones in a colossal project concocted by Lucas and Steven Spielberg, Raiders of the Lost Ark, about the globetrotting archaeologist who embarks on daring expeditions to uncover ancient artefacts. Spielberg initially wanted Ford for the role, but Lucas was hesitant as he had already collaborated with Ford on Star Wars. Before eventually giving in, the production team had to look at other possibilities, including many big action and comedy names of the 1970s like Tom Selleck and Peter Coyote. The role eventually went to Ford, cementing his status as a Hollywood legend.

(Left) Ford with Mark Hamill, George Lucas and Carrie Fisher on the set of TheEmpire Strikes Back. (This page) Ford playing Indiana Jones

Over 40 years and four films later, Ford found himself completing the series with the fifth and final instalment, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny , alongside UK’s Phoebe Waller-Bridge starring as his

just extraordinary to see a kind of relic of your life as it passes by.”

After all these years spent playing Indy, was there anything in particular that he wanted to see in his final adventure?

“I wanted to see a good movie. I wanted to see a completion of the five films. I wanted to round out the story. I wanted to see this man who depended so much on his youth and vigour, I wanted to see the weight of life on him. I wanted to see him require re-invention, re-support,” muses the actor.

As the character of Indiana Jones aged over the course of four films, it hadn’t really crossed Harrison Ford’s mind that his age would become a

pivotal consideration—until now. In an interview with People, Ford expressed how, as he grew older, it became essential for the character to evolve with him, adding depth and authenticity to the story. “I always wanted to see him without his youth, when he had become disillusioned, jaded, tired. And to see him rally for a last adventure.”

Seeing Indy as an older man in The Dial of Destiny is made even more poignant thanks to its intriguing use of AI: a digitally deaged Ford appears in a 25-minute sequence, looking several decades younger. What was Ford’s impression when he saw himself on the big screen as a young man?

Ford’s face was digitally “de-aged” in The DialofDestiny

“TECHNOLOGY IS JUST A TRICK UNLESS IT’S SUPPORTED BY A GOOD STORY”

“The technology has evolved to the point where it seems very realistic. And I know that that is my face, it’s not kind of photoshopped magic; that’s what I actually looked like 35 years ago—because Lucas Film has every frame of film that we’ve made together over all of these years.

“And this process, this scientific mining of the library, was put to good use. But it’s just a trick unless it’s supported by a good story. And it sticks out like a sore thumb if it’s not real—I’m not talking about visually, I mean emotionally real. And so I think it was used very skilfully and

assiduously. I’m very happy with it. But I don’t look back and say, ‘I wish I was that guy again’—because I don’t.”

And he means it; there’s not a hint of sentimentality or regret in the actor’s voice when he reminisces about the early days. Living a serene life away from Hollywood’s hustle and bustle on his sprawling Wyoming ranch with wife Calista Flockhart, he seems entirely content with growing older. “I’m real happy with age. I love being older,” he quips in his deep, rumbling bass. “It was great to be young, but sh**fire, I could be dead! And I’m still working. So, go figure.”

Indeed: at 81, Ford shows no signs of slowing down in his professional or personal life. A passionate pilot for nearly three decades, he has personally provided emergency helicopter services, coming to the rescue of hikers in need. Having survived a serious plane crash in 2015, as well as numerous injuries on film sets, the actor is still committed to physicality, and performed many of his own stunts in The Dial of Destiny.

With a lighthearted grin, he reflects on the question about staying in shape: “Let me tell ya, I can still ride a horse—well, if they let me.” Appreciating a comment about a shirtless scene and the fact

that he’s “still got it”, he playfully responds, “You’re too kind. I’ve been blessed with this body,” punctuating it with a good-natured laugh. Staying true to his love for storytelling, Ford remains actively engaged in the industry, taking on roles in both a new Apple TV+ comedy series, Shrinking, and a Western drama series called 1923. With a career spanning decades,

“THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WITH TALENTS THAT NEVER GET TO SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY”

A person taking a selfie with a life-sized bronze statue of Indiana Jones in Leicester Square

Ford’s dedication to his craft is evident as he exclaims, “I love the work! I just want to work and tell good stories. I’ve been so fortunate in my life to have that opportunity.”

Despite his legendary status in Hollywood, the actor’s humility shines through, and he expresses gratitude for the continuous flow of work, especially in the wake of the recent SAG-AFTRA protests against streaming platforms and studios.

Ford empathises with the struggles faced by many talented individuals whose gifts go unnoticed. “There are so many people with talents that never get to see the light of day, and that’s a terrible shame,” he laments. “Actors, in particular, can be very unhappy if they can’t work, and work

doesn’t come easy unless they are sought after.”

Although Ford himself is far from retiring, he is ready to bid farewell to Indy. “Is it not evident? I need to sit down and rest a little bit, you know?” he chuckles.

As for keepsakes from his film sets, one might wonder if Ford holds onto any treasured memorabilia, like his famous fedora. With a mischievous grin, he jokes, “I think it’s at Sotheby’s where it will hopefully earn a lot of money for charity. While the material possessions are great, what truly matters to me are the experiences of making these films, which I deeply treasure. The memories and the journey are what stay with me for a lifetime.” n

With wife Calista Flockhart at the German premiere of IndianaJonesandthe WheelofDestiny

Ruth Rogers

New York-born Ruth Rogers (75) launched the River Cafe in Hammersmith, West London with her late cochef partner Rose Gray in 1987. It went on to become one of the most renowned restaurants in Britain and has retained its Michelin star status for the last 26 years. Ruth, the widow of the late architect Richard Rogers, designer of the Pompidou Centre in Paris and the Lloyds Building in London among other projects, has also written a wide array of cookbooks and has been awarded both an MBE and CBE for services to the culinary arts and charity. She currently hosts a celebrity interview food podcast called Ruthie’s Table 4

ONE OF MY EARLIEST FOOD MEMORIES IS MY FATHER TAKING ME INTO NEW YORK CITY FOR AN AFTERNOON TRIP. He’d take me out to lunch, usually to not so fancy places. But once he did take me to the Russian Tea Rooms where I remember how gorgeous the space looked while eating borscht and blinis. Afterwards he’d always take me to a show like West Side Story and

then we’d buy the soundtrack album from a record shop called Sam Goody. To this day, I think I know the words to pretty much every single song from every single Broadway musical from that era.

WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER IN THE EARLY SIXTIES, I WORKED AS A WAITRESS IN A LITTLE CAFE CALLED THE BEAR IN

A young Ruth with her husband, Richard Rogers

WOODSTOCK, NEW YORK. I was terrible at it and only lasted a few weeks but, before I worked there, my friend and I would go there after school to do our homework. One day, there was a band rehearsing in the back room and the singer sent a note out to our table to ask if we wanted to come inside and watch them play. We said no, because we had a test the next day. It turns out that the singer who sent that note was Bob Dylan! I think we honestly thought that we could just go meet him anytime and the chance would come again. Obviously, it never did.

I MOVED TO LONDON IN 1967. I was supposed to be studying but I actually spent a lot of time with Americans who were here to avoid

the draft for the Vietnam War. I was very interested in the Free Speech movement and I was at the march on the US Embassy on Grosvenor Square. I didn’t experience violence myself that day but I do remember that it definitely started peacefully. I’ve always been impressed at the history of protest in this country, particularly the CND [Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament] marches, which were very active when I first came here.

I DON’T REMEMBER THE FOOD IN LONDON BEING THAT BAD WHEN I FIRST CAME HERE. I had no money so I went to the markets in Portobello Road and cheap Greek tavernas and Indian restaurants. I don’t like to join that chorus of "all

British food was terrible." It’s very unkind as Britain had been through rationing for so long, that it was inevitable that the food culture would suffer.

MY REAL PASSION FOR FOOD BEGAN WHEN I MET MY HUSBAND RICHARD who was Italian, and also Rose Gray, who was ten years older than me, but would invite me over for amazing dishes at her place in Notting Hill. Nothing happened for a long time when I first met Richard as he was married but I still remember the first time I saw him. It was at a friend’s house and I was wearing a dress from Biba that

was brown corduroy with buttons that went into culottes and a white shirt underneath. He was wearing a bright-coloured shirt and I just thought he was the most handsome man I’d ever seen.

I MOVED TO PARIS IN 1971 WHEN RICHARD, ALONG WITH RENZO PIANO, WON THE COMPETITION TO DESIGN THE POMPIDOU CENTRE. The city was very tense at that time. The Situationist riots that

almost toppled the de Gaulle regime had only happened three years earlier and I remember police being everywhere, busloads of them every night on Saint-Germain. There was a feeling that, if you did anything wrong, they would pounce on you. But there was this excitement about building the Pompidou too. People came from all over Europe to work on it with Richard and Renzo, and there was a sense of optimism about what a new, and very brave, project it was to create that building.

RICHARD AND I MOVED BACK FROM PARIS TO LONDON IN THE LATE SEVENTIES and we wanted the kind of long, expansive

,

apartment with lots of light, like we had in Paris. We bought a place which was two houses. Richard redesigned it into one place as a lateral conversion and he said for years that it was the hardest project he ever completed! He was a little tongue in cheek but it’s an important project to convert a home as it’s all about the future, about hopes and dreams and how you share and evolve a space.

WHEN I ASKED ROSE IF SHE WANTED TO OPEN A RESTAURANT WITH ME, SHE SAID YES INSTANTLY. We spent £28,000 and opened the River Cafe on September 15, 1987. We only had room for about 40 people and we had no chef! Rose

Ruth with Rose Gray

and I did everything with just one or two other people to help. The restaurant was really just a canteen underneath Richard’s architectural practice but he would bring a lot of people in for lunch and it just grew from there. If you order the grilled squid, chilli and rocket or the pear and almond tart here then you’re eating two dishes which have been on the menu since the very first day!

DOING MY RUTHIE’S TABLE 4 PODCAST OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS HAS BEEN SO EXCITING as people just open up so much more about themselves when it’s in the context of food. In episodes so far I’ve had Tracey Emin talk about having to eat food donated by

the Salvation Army when she was young. And then I had Nancy Pelosi tell me that she’d never eaten a meal from a table that didn’t have a tablecloth on it. Paul McCartney told me about a recipe for potatoes that his mother taught him. She died when he was just 15 and he still makes the recipe today.

MY HUSBAND RICHARD DIED IN 2021. He created so many wonderful buildings like the Pompidou Centre, the Millennium Dome, the Welsh Senedd and the Lloyds building, but the place I go to which takes me

Left: The River Café

Lord Richard Rogers, with his wife Ruth Rogers, receives the Freedom of the City at Guildhall Art Gallery, in recognition of his contribution to architecture and urbanism

closest to him is the last building he ever worked on. It’s in Provence and is an arts centre called Château La Coste. It’s a gallery for drawing and is suspended over the vineyards. I saw it just a few months ago and there is such a sense of peace and beauty there. It’s the smallest building he

ever created and it’s extremely special to me and our family. n

As told to Rob Crossan

Ruthie’s Table 4 podcast can be found on all major streaming platforms. Book a table at the River Cafe at rivercafe.co.uk

Harp-tastic Ireland

The harp has been Ireland’s national symbol since the 13th century. The popular Irish beer, Guinness, also features a harp as its symbol

The Upside Of Anxiety

How to worry well

BY Patricia Pearson

I am an anxIous traveller. I arrive at airports and train stations extra early. I triple-check all of my documents, feel a tightness in my jaw and a slight clench in my stomach until I’ve arrived

where I’m going. Non-anxious people tease me for being a “nervous nelly.”

I used to feel bad about it, seeing it as irrational and weak. Not anymore. I could write a book on this subject—actually, I did: A Brief History of Anxiety (Yours and Mine). I’ve learned to respect my tendency to be hypervigilant. Recently, I was driving along a rural road at the start of a long trip

illustrations by Taryn Gee

that would mainly be on a large motorway. I began feeling that something could go wrong. What if I run out of petrol? I worried, even though I still had plenty. So when I spied a petrol station just before the road I was going to take onto the motorway, I gave in to my angst and decided to fill up. Just in case.

And that’s when I discovered that one of my front tyres was badly deflated. If I’d overpowered my unease, talked down my anxiety, the tyre would have blown at speed on the motorway. My urge to plan ahead even though it wasn’t strictly necessary saved me from a potentially catastrophic scenario.

a growIng number of psychologists and neuroscientists are getting the message out that anxiety and other negative feelings have a role to play in our lives. Tracy DennisTiwary, who recently published Future Tense: Why Anxiety Is Good for You (Even Though It Feels Bad), thinks our culture goes overboard in demonising difficult emotions.

She knows what it’s like to get swamped by anxiety. “I remember a period at work when there was a lot going on,” says the professor of psychology and neuroscience at the City University of New York’s Hunter College. Worries kept waking her up at 4am. “It was like a yucky cloud of free-floating anxiety,” she says, and it

kept her from falling back to muchneeded sleep.

Instead of trying to suppress this disconcerting feeling, however, Dennis-Tiwary leaned into it. “If you sit with the anxiety, you have an opportunity to glean information,” she says. “For me, this one important ball I’d dropped at work finally rose to the surface of my mind. When I recognised this niggling thing, and gave it space, I learned from it. I wrote down two or three things I could do to address it.” The next morning, she felt calmer.

Psychologist Todd Kashdan, director of the Well-Being Lab at George Mason University in Virginia and co-author of The Upside of Your

WE

CAN EXPERIENCE PERIODS OF DISTRESS

WITHOUT BEING CATEGORISED AS MENTALLY ILL

Dark Side, is a critic of what he calls “gung-ho happy-ology.” We don’t always have to be smiley and serene, or worry that there’s something wrong with us. Sometimes, he says, it’s right to worry. Fear heights? Good, because you won’t be the person who falls off a cliff while taking a selfie.

These experts wonder if the natural role that anxiety plays in our lives is

being forgotten. For example, the World Health Organisation (WHO) announced in March 2022 that the prevalence of anxiety and depression had increased globally by 25 per cent over the year before (which was the earlier part of the pandemic). It called the finding “a wake-up call to all countries to step up mental health services and support.” Do we know for certain this data represents a public-health crisis? Or could it mean that millions of people are quite rightly feeling uncertain, stressed out and afraid?

The difference is important. For example, the US Department of Health and Human Services now recommends that family doctors do routine screenings for anxiety. It’s a positive development in that it recognises the impact that anxiety disorders can have on those at risk. But what if initiatives like this funnel

some of us into unnecessary treatments and medications? Could it make us lose sight of the benefits of our doubts and “what ifs”?

We can experience healthy, often completely valid, periods of distress without being categorised as mentally ill, according to behavioural psychologists. Anxiety is an adaptive strategy in human evolution. It helps us to prepare for the uncertain future, “to remain vigilant,” DennisTiwary says. Anxiety prompts us to resolve projected unknowns by planning and imagining, by plotting out possible scenarios.

“From an evolutionary point of view, anxiety is the best emotion to help us manage uncertainty because it forces us to run those ‘what-if' simulations,” she says. “That’s what it’s good for.”

Likewise, neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki of New York University (NYU) points out in her book Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion that “if we simply approach anxiety as something to avoid, get rid of or dampen, we not only don’t solve the problem it’s alerting us to, but actually miss an opportunity to leverage the generative power of anxiety.” By generative, she means that it can prompt us to move out of a situation that’s no longer working, to find the energy we need to get unstuck.

When we’re in an anxious state, the amount of dopamine in our brains

increases, which prompts us to take action. In evolutionary terms, millions of years ago that might have meant looking for shelter to evade predatory animals. Today, it might mean leaving a job because of a predatory boss. By not facing our anxiety, we lose its benefits, and can make things worse. Case in point for me: hiding unopened envelopes from the tax department in a drawer—even if they could be just the routine updates that self-employed people like me receive—until I’ve turned it into a full-blown phobia. Says Alice Boyes, who has a PhD in clinical psychology and wrote The Anxiety Toolkit , coping with unpleasant feelings by avoiding them just re inforces your insecurity, because you’re not getting better at solving the problem: “Over time, you will feel less and less competent.”

the key Is to manage unease before it overtakes us, like tending a garden so the weeds don’t spread. But how?

According to NYU’s Suzuki, solutions include meditation, exercise, compassionate connection such as volunteering, access to nature and mentally reframing what we’re experiencing.

For example, in her book Suzuki writes about a start-up entrepreneur who was beginning to feel daunted by everything that could go wrong in his high-stakes venture. This generated all kinds of “what if?” anxiety that kept him sleepless.

He was, in psychological parlance, catastrophising. After talking to a mentor, he found a new tool: a “reframe.” He turned “what ifs?” into a goal-directed to-do list: “If this were to happen, then what could I do? Well, I could do X.”

Dennis-Tiwary agrees that reframing is crucial. She points to a 2013 Harvard study in which socially anxious people were asked to speak in public. The researchers told some of them that having sweaty palms and a dry mouth or shaky knees was a good sign, a “positive coping tool” that optimises the body for performance. The nervous speakers who heard this message had lower blood pressure and a slower heart rate. In other words, they shifted to that sweet spot where they were ready for the challenge, but not distracted and alarmed by their own nervousness.

That’s a pretty remarkable discovery. What it says is that we can reframe our fears so that they help us.

Several years ago, I was the last in a long queue of speakers at a TEDx event. The theatre was over-airconditioned. I sat there shivering and growing tense, worrying that I would forget my speech about a book I’d recently written about death and dying. The longer this mind-body feedback loop of physical tension and mental anxiety went on, the worse it got, until my legs felt so rubbery that I feared I would fall off the stage. It’s a miracle I made it through my talk.

Knowing what I do now, I would have paced and stretched in the

SPENDING TIME IN GREEN SPACES CAN HELP RESTORE OUR

PSYCHOLOGICAL BALANCE

hallway to keep my body warmed up and my breathing calm while I waited, not unlike an athlete before an event. I still would have been nervous, but I would have been taking steps to manage it.

“One of the key problems is that our perceptions about anxiety stop us from believing we can manage it,” says Dennis-Tiwary. She argues that anxiety isn’t the problem. “It is the messenger that tells us we’re facing uncertainty and need to rise to the challenge. Or it’s pointing us to ways

that our life needs to change, or that we need support.”

We can manage anxiety by “worrying well,” in Suzuki’s words. This includes meditation. It has been shown to calm the amygdala, the gland in our brain responsible for sending out alarm signals related to fear and anxiety.

Exercise helps, too. Suzuki experimented with some of her students and found that even just a ten-minute workout helped them feel less anxious before an exam. So, hit the gym, enjoy the dance floor or go for a hike. Just spending time in natural light and in green spaces, what the Japanese call “forest bathing,” can restore our sense of psychological balance. After all, we evolved in companionship with nature.

Because humour increases oxytocin, a hormone that enhances social bonding and relatedness, I sometimes listen to stand-up comedy to calm down. Social connection, touch and a grounding perspective on others’ suffering can also soothe us, which is why volunteer and community involvement helps.

These are all well-founded techniques that can keep us from spiralling. The trick, as DennisTiwary says, is to listen to anxiety, then leverage it to make changes— just like I did that day I set off on my road trip.

“Then,” she advises, “let it go. It’s a wave that you need to learn to ride.” n

Heart Of The Matter

High blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, smoking and obesity make it more likely you’ll develop cardiovascular disease, but other risk factors might surprise you

Gout

Susannah

Hickling is twice winner of the Guild of Health Writers Best Consumer Magazine Health Feature

A Nottingham University study of more than 60,000 patients with the painful arthritic condition gout found that people who’d had a flare-up had greater odds of having a stroke or heart attack in the following 120 days. Other conditions that, like gout, involve inflammation, such as rheumatoid arthritis, Crohn’s and lupus also make you more prone to coronary artery disease.

Psoriasis

If you have this skin condition, you are 50 per cent more likely to develop cardiovascular disease, according to a 2021 American study. The worse your psoriasis, the higher your risk.

Having a premature baby

Women are by no means spared when it comes to heart disease.

Doctors don’t yet really understand why, but studies have shown that having a pre-term or low birthweight baby, gestational diabetes or pre-eclampsia all put mothers on the radar for future heart problems.

Early menopause

Evidence is mounting of a link between going through the “change” before the age of 45 and cardiovascular disease, including heart failure and the heart rhythm disorder, atrial fibrillation. This may be because women lose the protective effect of oestrogen when levels of this hormone begin to decline in menopause.

Migraines—if you’re a woman

In a study of nearly 28,000 female health professionals in the US, women who suffered from migraines with aura had a significantly higher incidence of major cardiovascular events, such as stroke or heart attack, than those who didn’t. What’s more, the cardiovascular incidence rate was higher than for women who were obese.

Air pollution

Of the 9 million deaths worldwide attributed to air pollution in 2019, 62 per cent were from cardiovascular

disease. Poor air quality is associated with high blood pressure and diabetes. A Chinese study published last year suggested that even shortterm exposure to pollutants might trigger acute coronary syndrome, where there is reduced blood flow to the heart. This collection of conditions includes heart attacks.

Skipping breakfast

It can’t be overstated how important it is to make your morning cornflakes or egg on toast part of your daily routine. Over time, people who don’t have breakfast are more likely to be obese, have high blood pressure and develop type 2 diabetes. A study of 6,550 American adults found that not eating breakfast brought a significantly increased risk of dying from cardiovascular disease.

Sugary drinks

Long-term consumption of sweet drinks, whether sweetened with sugar or artificial sweetener, makes you more likely to die from a cardiovascular cause, according to a large American study. And the more sweetened beverages you drink, the greater the risk.

So, if you find yourself in any of these groups, it makes sense to keep up to date with health checks and make a few lifestyle changes if you need to. n

Air Frying Tonight

They’re popular and they’re energy efficient, but how healthy are air fryers?

How does it work? An air fryer cooks food by circulating hot air super quickly, thanks to a powerful fan. Tiny droplets of oil carried by the hot air make the food crispy. You hardly have to use any fat—and sometimes none—to get the same effect as conventional frying. Air-fried chips, for example, might be as much as 90 per cent lower in fat, and therefore lower in calories, than your deep-fried variety. They’ll also have less fat than oven chips.

Are all air-fried foods healthier? As ever, it’s complicated. While you might have healthier French fries, fatty foods like bacon and sausages you might usually cook without adding extra fat won’t miraculously become lower in fat and better for you just because they come out of a newfangled minicooker. When it comes to cooking already healthy foods such as chicken, fish and vegetables, there’s no evidence an air dryer is preferable to a conventional oven. But when it comes

to fatty fish such as sardines, a Brazilian study found that air frying reduced levels of healthy polyunsaturated fats and increased cholesterol oxidation products, which may increase plaque formation in blood vessels.

Is the cooking process safe All food changes its structure when it’s cooked. Acrylamide is produced when you cook starchy foods like potatoes at high temperatures and has been linked to some cancers, including breast cancer. A Spanish study found air frying created up to 90 per cent less acrylamide than deep-oil frying. Chinese research found advanced glycation end products (AGEs), which could up your risk of inflammation and diseases such as diabetes, were present at a lower level in air-fried fishcakes, compared with their deep-fried counterparts. But those prepared in the air fryer had more AGEs than pan-fried ones as the cooking time increased.

So, what’s the conclusion? The bottom line is if your diet consists of a lot of deep-fried food, using an air fryer will serve up nosh that’s better for you. Otherwise, just enjoy the convenience and the savings. n

For more weekly health tips and stories, sign up to our newsletter at readersdigest.co.uk

Ask The Expert: Bunions

Orthopaedic surgeon Dr Andrea Bianchi specialises in foot conditions at The Private Clinic

How did you become a bunion specialist? When a Mexican surgeon solved the problem of hallux valgus bunions—with small holes and no metal fixtures or screws, I learned and improved this technique. It was so successful I had almost no time left for anything else.

Why do people get bunions?

A congenital bunion is often a result of deformities from birth or inherited foot type. An acquired bunion is often a result of foot stress or injury or uncomfortable footwear—narrow sole, high heels or ill-fitting shoes. Arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis or osteoarthritis can also make you more prone to bunions.

How can you prevent them? Opt for wider shoes and keep heel height to no more than four centimetres. It’s incredibly important to exercise the feet. With your feet flat on the floor, point your toes as far as you can and then curl them back underneath the foot as far as they will go. Take five seconds for each stretch and repeat ten times. Then, while seated, roll a ball under

the length of your foot for two or three minutes. If your foot isn’t properly aligned or you have fallen arches, you can wear over-the-counter shoe insoles, or custom-made shoe or heel inserts a doctor prescribes.

When do bunions need treatment? Once bunions form, they won’t go away without surgery. They can cause chronic pain, swelling and redness over the big toe joint, particularly after wearing tight-fitting shoes or shoes that don’t fit properly. Relieve discomfort with wide, low-heeled shoes with a soft sole, bunion pads and regular painkillers.

What treatments are available? The most common type of bunion surgery involves cutting away the bunion and realigning the bones of the joint to make the sides of the food straighter. It uses screws and staples. I favour— and practise—keyhole surgery which doesn’t use these and enables you to walk immediately after surgery. n

For more information, visit: theprivateclinic.co.uk/conditionsand-health/bunions

Facing The Flu Facts

Dr Max warns that the flu can be very serious and that vaccines are advised

At first I wasn’t sure what was happening. I felt achy but shrugged it off as the result of an overzealous session at the gym. A few hours later though, a headache came on. It made me wince with pain. I dismissed it—it couldn’t be flu. After all, I’d already had my jab, as I do every year. I went to bed, not feeling right but sure it would pass with an early night. A few hours later though, I woke up drenched in sweat, shivering. I felt awful. Until you’ve had flu, it’s hard to describe quite how dreadful and debilitating it is.

Over the years of working in hospitals I’ve seen older people die from flu—something which at the time shocked and surprised me, but as I lay there I could finally understand how this virus could kill

you. Of course, I knew it was unlikely that I’d die, but I could easily imagine that, if you were older, frail or had other health complications then this could be catastrophic. I was uncontrollably hot yet my whole body shook. My head pounded constantly and my skin could hardly bear to have the sheets cover me as it was so sensitive. I drifted in and out of sleep, my whole body in pain. I had no appetite at all. All this went on for about a week, and I didn’t feel

fully recovered for a further week.

WE

COULD HAVE A WAVE OF FLU CASES THIS WINTER AND THE FLU VACCINE CAN SAVE LIVES

Doctors often say that the difference between a cold and flu is that someone with a cold is sitting up watching TV telling you how awful they feel. Someone with flu can’t even raise their head off the pillow. One of the infuriating things when you’ve had proper flu is people with a heavy cold saying they’ve “got a touch of flu”. Little do they know. And I think this is part of the problem—we tend to lump colds and general winter illnesses in with the flu, and this makes us complacent until we’ve actually had it ourselves and can then appreciate that flu is in another league to any other winter infection you’re likely to catch.

This is why I am such a passionate advocate for the flu jab and tell everyone I know to have it. Yes, I know, I had the flu jab last year and still got flu. So why am I still such a fan? The flu virus is incredibly clever and easily mutates, meaning that the vaccine is not always effective. There are also different strains, which tend to affect different age groups. The strains can change from one year to the next, so scientists spend a long time trying to predict which strain will dominate, but this is difficult. As a result, the vaccine can’t protect

against every case of flu every year.

It is estimated that the vaccine typically reduces the rate of infection by about 50 per cent in adults. Yes, I was unlucky and fell into the 50 per cent of people for whom it didn’t work. But half the time it does work

and having experienced the horrors of flu, I’d do anything to ensure that me and my loved ones and patients have as high a chance of avoiding it as possible. And, this is an important point, it’s not just you that you are protecting when you get the flu jab, you’re also protecting those around you because it means you’re much less likely to pass it on. I worry that now we’ve all been having our COVID-19 jabs, we’ve got rather bored of having vaccinations—a term called “vaccine fatigue”. If we aren’t mindful of this, we could have a wave of flu cases this winter. As we approach autumn, for me there’s no debate. It’s simple: the flu vaccine saves lives and I believe it’s all our duty to get it. n

Max is a hospital doctor, author and columnist. He currently works full-time in mental health for the NHS. His new book, The Marvellous Adventure of Being Human, is out now

The Doctor Is In

Dr Max Pemberton

Q: I have been advised that I need a total knee replacement. Because of previous health conditions, I have been told that I have to be awake during the surgery. I have heard horror stories and I am terrified. The fear of remembering it and being traumatised is outweighing my desire to get rid of my knee pain. Can you put my mind at rest?

A: I actually have some personal, as well as professional, experience of people undergoing this kind of anaesthetic, so I really hope I can reassure you. Both my mum and my gran underwent knee replacements and I myself have had orthopaedic surgery (on my foot) “while awake”, so although it might sound scary and even shocking, I promise you it isn’t. Having gone through this myself, I would actually recommend it, compared to general anaesthetic.

For a joint replacement, it’s common not to have a general anaesthetic. Instead, people are given a spinal anaesthetic (a bit like an epidural) so you can’t feel anything from the waist down. If you’re nervous, you can have medication to help you relax. If you have

a deep sedation, then you’re less likely to remember anything. Deep sedation isn’t suitable for everyone but your anaesthetist can advise you. I had light sedation and I just remember talking to people and feeling like I was floating and happy.

There are some clear advantages to a spinal, which is why so many doctors (including myself!) recommend them. General anaesthetics carry a risk and, as you age, there is some evidence it can affect your brain, with some older people reporting problems with memory and thinking after a general anaesthetic. The recovery time with a spinal is also much quicker, meaning you can eat and walk on your new joint sooner, which really helps the healing process. You also do not need so much strong pain relief medicine after the operation with a spinal.

Joint pain can be disabling and a knee replacement can give a new lease of life. Don’t let the thought of a spinal anaesthetic put you off getting it done. n

Got a health question for our resident doctor?

Email it confidentially to askdrmax@readersdigest.co.uk

7 Steps To A Better Memory

You can choose to remember more, from today—says recordbreaking memory man, Jonathan Hancock

After five years or so, and 63 articles, this is my final column for Reader’s Digest. I’ve loved explaining my own recall strategies, exploring new research into learning, and challenging you to experiment with your memory skills. It’s been wonderful to get your feedback, and I hope you’ll continue to keep exercising your memory muscles. And to help you do that…I thought I’d round off with my guide to remembering like a champion!

1. Just do it. Don’t think of memory as something you “have”—but as something you “do”. You can remember so much more by simply deciding to pay attention. Switch on your senses and start making your memory work.

2. Get organised. Decide exactly what you need to remember—and stop getting overwhelmed by everything else. Often, just a few details are all that’s necessary, so focus on those.

3. Think in pictures. Your strongest memories are usually visual—so start thinking up pictures to “tag” new information. Invent funny images to

represent names. Visualise yourself doing everything on your to-do list.

4. Trust your feelings. We’re wired to remember emotions—so why are we so serious about learning? Imagine funny things about your groceries. Pretend the “wrong” numbers on a cash machine will explode if touched.

5. Make connections. Spot patterns in information that will jog your memory. And if there aren’t any, invent them. Tell vivid stories about the names on your guest list. Link key points in a presentation to familiar rooms in your house. Even just putting errands into pairs will make them easier to remember.

6. Embed learning—later. If you want to remember something long term, practise recalling it when it’s just beginning to fade from your mind. A little bit of struggle goes a long way.

7. Challenge yourself. Learn a few new things every day. Play memory games. And take every opportunity to have novel, rich experiences, to keep your brain and memory stimulated. Enjoy everything your amazing brain can do and put your mind to it. And from me, for now: so long, and thanks for the memories! n

Professional Matchmaking Is Having A Comeback

Could it fix modern dating?

Monica

Karpinski is a writer and editor focused on women’s health, sex, and relationships. She is the founder of women’s health media platform

The Femedic

If you could pay someone to spare you from the drudgery of dating apps, would you?

This white knight would screen potential suitors on your behalf, only putting forward options they’d personally vouch for.

For those who think that sounds nice, you’re in luck: traditional matchmaking is having a revival. Only today’s version is more like romantic coaching, or having a dating concierge, than being pressured to marry a member of the gentry by a Victorian society woman.

This comes as more folks become fed up with the endless scrolling and swiping on dating apps. Even Hinge, one of the apps, says 61 per cent of users find modern dating tiring and overwhelming—a phenomenon known as "dating burnout".

It’s easy to see the appeal of simply outsourcing all this trouble. Plus, because matchmakers vet everyone in their network, your dates are accountable for their behaviour: if they ghost you, they’ve got someone to answer to. Could matchmaking, with its centuries-old roots, remedy the ills of modern dating?

Rather than leave you to the mercy of algorithms, a professional matchmaker will personally trawl through their contacts to find you the right suitor. And as well as ensuring your date checks the boxes you want checked, like having certain religious beliefs, your matchmaker will also suss out what sort of person someone is and what they might bring to a partnership.

DATING

APPS CAN'T TELL YOU IF SOMEONE STILL ISN'T OVER THEIR EX

challenging to access otherwise. For some, this is the only way they date. Do matchmakers work for those of us not in that camp? After all, research has shown that the traits we think we’ll like on paper have no bearing on how well we’ll actually connect with someone.

“It’s a lot like being a headhunter,” co-founder of US-based dating service The Bevy told Forbes in 2017. And, like a job interview, everyone in a matchmaker’s little black book must pass a vetting process. Ostensibly, this is to check they’d be a good partner—red flags like dishonesty mean they won’t make the cut as a client.

All of this sounds like it would make dating a more pleasant experience. But aside from selfreported figures shared by service providers, we don’t really have enough insight to say whether matchmakers are a more effective way to find your person.

An exception here may be people in religious or cultural groups they’d like to date within: a matchmaker can connect them with a pool of people who share their experiences and beliefs, who it might be more

Having someone gauge who your match is as a person, beyond what a dating app filter could capture, could give you some indication of what they’d be like as a partner. Dating apps can’t tell you if someone isn’t over their ex—a matchmaker could.

Here, what matchmakers are really selling is convenience. They deal with the dirty work of dating for you, cushioning you from the messiness and cruelties. This won’t magically “fix” your dating life, but it could make it easier. However, these services come at a price—reportedly, some firms charge in the tens of thousands of pounds.

But what money can’t buy, and what a matchmaker can’t guarantee, is genuine chemistry. Nor is a matchmaker’s wisdom necessarily greater than yours.

Matchmaking isn’t a silver bullet to finding love, but it does suggest a more human approach to dating. Wouldn’t it be nice if that was the norm, rather than seeing a photo and swiping left or right? n

Relationship Advice

Monica Karpinski

Q: I’ve been with my husband for over 20 years and I do love him, but lately I’ve started to see him as more of an annoyance or chore. I find his stories boring and feel no excitement when we go out for dinner or spend time together. He hasn’t done anything differently. What does this mean, am I falling out of love? - Meg

A: It’s understandable that you’d start to question your relationship if you noticed your excitement towards your partner was fading. But this isn’t necessarily a sign that it’s time to call it quits.

Often, feeling bored or dispassionate in a long-term relationship means you’ve got yourselves into a rut: you’ve fallen into the same old habits and routines, and spending time together stopped being interesting. If that sounds right, the good news is that you can snap out of it—but it will take time and effort on both your parts.

However, I’m sorry to say that it could also be a sign that you’re falling out of love. So, it’s important that you figure out which of these it is, so that any decisions you make are for the right reasons.

One way to do this is to try and get the spark back, and see how this makes you feel. Feelings of eagerness and romance don’t magically sustain themselves over time: they need to be continually nurtured, and stem from how you treat each other. You need to prioritise your relationship and make effort to spend quality time together. Having an open conversation about how you’re feeling and what you want the relationship to be like is a great first step. Then, you can figure out how you’ll get there: you might both commit to communicating without getting defensive, or being more open to affection. Start small—even minor changes can have a big impact.

If this makes you realise that you don’t want to try, or the spark doesn’t come back, it’s time to reflect on the relationship. Ask yourself tough questions: do you feel safe and secure with him? Are you excited by the idea of being without him? Remember: you always have a choice, whether to try and make it work or call it a day. Pick the route that’s best for you. n

Got a question for our resident sex and relationships expert? Email it confidentially to thelovedoctor@readersdigest.co.uk

Seeing is believing...

IT’S A WIN-WIN

Celebrating other people’s victories can bring on more of our own

BY Juli Fraga FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES

would defuse her envy, but she was surprised when it shifted her attitude so she could share her friend’s happiness and experience her own, in turn.

“I congratulated her and told her she inspired me,” she says.

When eugenie george first heard that her friend passed a financial counselling exam, her heart sank. She’d failed that test weeks earlier, and needed the credential to advance her own career.

“My inner child got upset,” recalls George, a financial writer and educator from Philadelphia. But then, instead of stewing, she called her friend. “I told her I failed and admitted I was jealous,” she says. George knew that being upfront

Finding pleasure in another person’s good fortune is what social scientists call freudenfreude, a term (inspired by freude, the German word for “joy”) that describes the bliss we feel when someone else succeeds, even if it doesn’t directly involve us.

Freudenfreude is like social glue, says Catherine Chambliss, a professor of psychology at Ursinus College in Collegeville, Pennsylvania. It makes relationships “more intimate and enjoyable.”

Erika Weisz, an empathy researcher at Harvard University, says the feeling closely resembles positive empathy—the ability to experience someone else’s positive emotions. A study in 2021 examined

positive empathy’s role in daily life and found that it propelled kind acts, such as helping others. Sharing in someone else’s joy can also foster resilience, improve life satisfaction and even help people co-operate during a conflict.

While the benefits of freudenfreude are plentiful, it doesn’t always come easily. Sometimes, your loss might really sting, making freudenfreude

EMPATHY HAS A ROLE IN DAILY LIFE, PROPELLING KIND

ACTS SUCH AS HELPING OTHERS

feel out of reach. If you were raised in a family that paired winning with selfworth, Chambliss says, you might misread someone else’s victory as your own personal shortcoming. And other factors such as mental health and overall wellbeing can also affect your ability to participate in someone else’s joy.

Still, indulging in freudenfreude is worthwhile—and there are ways to encourage the feeling.

To beTTer undersTand freudenfreude, it can be helpful to demystify its betterknown counterpart, schadenfreude: the pleasure we feel when witnessing someone’s misfortune.

In a 2012 study, Chambliss and her colleagues examined instances of freudenfreude and schadenfreude among college students, some of whom were experiencing mild depression. Freudenfreude scores were higher, and schadenfreude scores were lower, among those who were not depressed. The mildly depressed college students, however, had a harder time adopting a joysharing mindset.

“When you’re feeling down, it’s natural to puncture positive news with negativity,” Chambliss explains.

Even when people aren’t experiencing mental distress, moments of schadenfreude—when a film villain gets what he deserves, for example, or a nemesis faces scrutiny— can be comforting and serve a purpose.

“Schadenfreude is one way we try to cope with jealousy and vulnerability,” says clinical psychologist Emily Anhalt, co-founder of Coa, a mental health app. It’s an “ego protector” that shields people from pain and reinforces social bonds within a group—like when joy erupts among sports fans after their rival team faces a humiliating loss.

Indulging in too much schadenfreude, however, can backfire. One study found that schadenfreude on social media can push empathy aside, making people less compassionate toward those who differ from them. Other research suggests that delighting in the mishaps of others can lower people’s self-

esteem, especially when they are comparing themselves to particularly high achievers.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO EXPERIENCE MORE FREUDENFREUDE?

“Empathy isn’t always an automatic reflex,” Weisz says. “It’s often a motivated process.” To help people strengthen joy-sharing muscles, Chambliss and her colleagues developed a programme called Freudenfreude Enhancement Training (FET), featuring two exercises. They found that depressed university students who used the practices for two weeks had an easier time expressing freudenfreude, which enhanced their relationships and improved their mood. If you’re interested in enjoying more freudenfreude, try the tips below,

culled from FET and advice from other expert sources.

SHOW ACTIVE INTEREST IN SOMEONE ELSE’S HAPPINESS

One way to summon good feelings for others is to ask questions. Chambliss and her colleagues call this practice “shoy”—or sharing joy. To start, invite the bearer of good news to discuss the experience. Even if your heart isn’t in it, research conducted by Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California Riverside, suggests that happiness can flourish when you make a heartfelt effort to engage with a positive activity. So when you speak with your friend, be sure to maintain eye contact and listen attentively. This should motivate you to keep going and make you feel as if your efforts will pay off.

VIEW INDIVIDUAL SUCCESS AS A COMMUNAL EFFORT

“When we feel happy for others, their joy becomes our joy,” says psychologist Marisa Franco, author of the book Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends. To that end, freudenfreude encourages us to look at success as a community achievement.

“No one gets to the top alone, and when we elevate others, we’re often carried up with them,” Anhalt says.

Jean Grae, an artist and selfidentified “multipotentialite,” supports friends and colleagues by adopting this mindset. When someone gets a new opportunity or reaches a milestone, she makes sure to celebrate. Grae says she’s especially moved when anyone considered “other” succeeds. “It’s truly inspirational,” she says, “because it lifts us all up and makes us shine.”

SHARE CREDIT FOR YOUR SUCCESSES WITH OTHERS

Because emotions are contagious, showing appreciation can increase freudenfreude for the gratitude giver and the recipient. In this way, you can think of freudenfreude as something you can spread when you’re experiencing personal joy.

To do this, try a FET exercise called bragitude, which involves expressing gratitude when someone else’s success or support leads to your own. Start by

sharing your win, then tell the other person how you appreciate their help. Be specific. If your friend’s accountant advised you to save, you might say: “My savings are growing. Thanks for recommending your great accountant.”

Practising bragitude is like sharing dessert: both parties enjoy the sweetness of the moment, which enhances freudenfreude for both.

BECOME A JOY SPECTATOR

“Too often, we think of joy passively,” Franco says. “We see it as something that comes to us, instead of something we can generate.” But you don’t need to wait for someone else’s good news to exercise freudenfreude.

Cultivate joy by inviting others to share their victories. You might ask: “What was the bright spot of your day?” or “I could use some good news; what’s the best thing that happened to you this week?”. Asking about other people’s wins turns you into a joy spectator, giving you a chance to witness them at their best.

Experiencing more freudenfreude doesn’t mean you’ll never cheer against a villain again, but simply being able to reach for happiness is inherently beneficial.

Says Chambliss, “As delicious as it is to delight in our enemy’s defeats, celebrating our friends’ successes—big and small—helps us all triumph.” n

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READY TO REWRITE THE RULES OF AGEING?

It’s a well-known fact that keeping fit and healthy both physically and mentally is key to enjoying a happy life in later years. However, that’s easy to know – but not always so easy to put into practice. As we age, we tend to naturally start to take things a little slower –walking rather than running for the bus, being extra careful when picking up the grandchildren, having shopping delivered rather than carrying heavy bags….

It’s been estimated that almost half of the over-fifties in the UK do little or no exercise. With the UK supporting an ageing population (the number of people who are over 65 is currently 10 million, with projections showing that number to nearly double to around 19 million by ➺

Want to add more years to your life and more life to your years? Here’s how, with our new partner, Goldster.

2050), this will soon amount to a huge chunk of the population who are inactive, potentially leading to health and wellbeing problems.

So, if slowing down after middle age could prove detrimental to your health, is this really the right route to take?

The benefits of exercise are widely documented for people in their 50s, 60s and 70s. Improving joint mobility can help with sleep, cognitive functions and ward off illnesses and disease – as well as the expected effects of increasing physical strength and upping energy levels. It can also help reduce anxiety, stress, and depression, especially for those retirees who, once busy, now find themselves with huge amounts of spare time on their hands.

However, even knowing where to start when it comes to an exercise routine can be incredibly daunting. Sticking to a routine on your own can be hard, whilst joining a gym

or health club can be expensive –and intimidating. Additionally, if it’s not just physical exercise you’re looking for, it can be difficult to find local clubs to join which are easy to attend.

Luckily, help is at hand with Goldster, a vibrant online-based community that embraces the challenges, triumphs, and aspirations of ageing.

With the goal to ‘help 100 million people age well over the next 10 years’, Goldster’s ethos and approach is supported by science, with their aim being to help bridge the gap between health and wellness, encouraging and enables everyone to start a positive ageing journey.

As such, Goldster goes beyond mere entertainment and skill acquisition; it prioritises your health and well-being. The platform hosts different online classes each day, each with a handy star system that indicates its proven physical, emotional, and cognitive benefits.

So, could Goldster be just right for you? Read on to find out…

Classes galore

Mix up those interests and you’re more likely to stay, well, interested. With Goldster, there’s a huge variety of classes to choose from. Create your very own programme of live events with up to 20 sessions a day (more than 400 a month) ranging from dance fitness, yoga, tai chi and reflexology to art, creative writing and even a cockney-singalong.

Stay connected

Live classes offer an additional dimension that videos or apps just can’t provide. Real time interactions can help you stay connected with people and stave off social isolation, so not only will you be learning and exercising with likeminded people, you’ll also be socialising and enjoying

the benefits of being part of a supportive community too. New faces, new friends, new you.

Top-quality tutors

Whether you’re creating stunning botanical paintings with a practising landscape artist or discovering tips to make delicious and nourishing meals from a nutritional therapist, all of Goldsters tutors are friendly, approachable and great at what they do. So you can take part in classes knowing you’re in safe – and clever –hands.

Challenge yourself

If you’re keen and committed to prioritising your health and making lasting lifestyle changes then Goldsters progressive 6-week special interest courses might just be for you. From sharpening your cognitive function through brain training with

a leading neuroscientist to learning the art of poetry with an Oxford graduate, these personalised courses offer tailored support and expert guidance to maximise your results.

Based around you

Got an appointment to keep? Family emergency? Going on holiday? With Goldster there’s no need to stress if you can’t join a live class. You can catch up whenever and wherever you want through the extensive video library, perfect for letting you plan when’s better to tune in.

Great reviews

Lots of members simply love Goldster and there are hundreds of five-star reviews on the Feefo review website. From being ‘impressed by the knowledge and professionalism of the tutors I’ve come across’ to ‘thanks to the Goldster workouts, my rehab [after

a fall] has been smooth and speedy,’ there are lots of real reasons from real people as to why it’s a great platform to join.

Affordable and effective

With Goldster, there are no hefty fees, or upfront costs. You can simply start your health, wellbeing, and fitness plan quickly and easily.

Plus there’s a fantastic special offer just for Reader’s Digest readers.

Log onto goldster.co.uk and simply use code RDANNUAL23 at checkout for a huge 50% off an annual subscription for the first year. The normal price is £99, so it’s a great saving to start you on your wellness journey.

The price not only includes over 400 live classes each month and ondemand video recording, but Goldster also offers friendly customer service to help you get online easily and quickly. n

Unlock the transformative power of Goldster's online platform and embark on a wellness journey that transcends boundaries. Join a vibrant community, learn new skills, and nurture your physical and mental wellbeing, all from the comfort of your own living room. Goldster is your gateway to a richer, more fulfilling life.

To join today visit goldster.co.uk and start to rewrite the rules of ageing

My Britain:

Jurassic Coast

BY Alice Gawthrop

The Jurassic Coast is named for its abundance of fossils scattered along its shores. Particular fossil hotspots include Lyme Regis and Charmouth, where it’s not inconceivable that you could stumble across your own ammonite or belemnite one sunny morning.

Inland, rich, chalky soil means that the area is also known for high quality wines. Vineyards abound, producing delicious sparkling wine— champagne in everything but name. In fact, sparkling wines from this region currently rank more highly than champagne from Champagne in international competitions!

From Weymouth to Swanage, you’re spoilt for choice when it comes to the English seaside town. Spend a perfect day dipping your toes in the cool water, spending your loose change at a seafront arcade and fending seagulls off your fish and chips.

On an especially sunny day, you’d be forgiven for mistaking yourself to be on the French Riviera, what with the lush green vineyards and the brave cliff jumpers flinging themselves off Durdle Door into the welcoming blue sea. ➺

Anna Holbrook is the education and outreach manager at the Charmouth Heritage Coast Centre (CHCC), a local charity dedicated to educating people about the amazing fossils to be found on the Jurassic Coast charmouth.org/chcc

After A childhood spent in East Dorset, our family moved to the Midlands—about as far away from a coastline as you can get! I was desperate to return to the sea, and five years ago I got that opportunity. Following my passion for rocks and fossils, I landed a job with Charmouth Heritage Coast Centre, taking visitors and school groups fossil hunting on the beach.

I’ll never get over finding a fossil and realising that I’m the first person to see it in almost 200 million years. There’s always something to find, you just never know what’s out there!

I feel very proud to live and work on the Jurassic Coast. It’s England’s only natural World Heritage Site, so of course it’s amazing to be working on a globally unique location famous for its fossils, but it’s also simply stunning with incredible views stretching along the coast. Working directly with visitors, it’s wonderful to share all of that with them.

The Charmouth Heritage Coast Centre is a small local charity, sat right on the seafront, with an aim to encourage safe fossil hunting on the beach by sharing our top tips for fossil hunting on guided walks. We

do lots of fossil ID too! We are very lucky that local fossil collectors loan their latest finds for visitors to see for free as well (including one of the best preserved 3D plesiosaurs in Europe). My favourite spot on the coast has always been Old Harry’s Rock near Studland Bay. Not only are there incredible views, sometimes as far as the Isle of Wight, but it’s geologically and geomorphologically interesting too. These chalk stacks were once connected to the Needles on the Isle of Wight as a long chalk ridge, before the meltwater after the Ice Age spilled out and eroded it all away, leaving just the dramatic stacks at either end. It’s hard not to be in awe of nature when you stand there and imagine all that happening so many years ago.

Tommy Grimshaw is the head winemaker at Langham Wine Estate, a Dorset vineyard that crafts award-winning sparkling wine made from their own grown grapes

langhamwine.co.uk

i grew up in south Devon and moved to the Jurassic Coast for my job. I’ve lived here four and a half years now. I often walk the Jurassic Coast and the southwest coast in general—I’ve walked from Devon back up here before. The scenery of the coastline, the cliff formations—you’re just overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of it. Every day, before or after work, I swim in the sea. It’s such a luxury to be able to do that. And sometimes we’ll have a barbecue on the beach in the evening. I just love it.

In the southwest it’s a nice, slow pace of life. A lot of young people find it a bit frustrating, because there aren’t necessarily huge amounts of job opportunities. I’m lucky that I’m in a career where the Jurassic Coast is

the perfect place to be. If you can embrace the pace of life and really appreciate the beauty of the surroundings, you’ll be at home on the Jurassic Coast. You may not make a fortune, but you’ll have a rich life in other ways.

There’s a huge appreciation for the land in these parts. You really feel the connection between the land you live on and the food on your table. For me it’s probably heightened by my role within that—at Langham Wine Estate we’re very connected to local farms. People are definitely proud of the quality of food and drink that we produce down here. That runs through everything. People want to support the local independence by making sure that the local fisherman is well looked after and the local farmer gets their cut.

Langham Wine Estate is really special because it has a very unique location. The soil structure of the vineyard has been key to our success. Being on the Jurassic Coast we’ve got Kimmeridge clay and limestone, and

they’re two of the most important soil structures for making champagne. We’ve got loads of nice chalk as well. That’s essential for us to grow the fruit we do.

We don’t buy any grapes, we grow all our own fruit on our single site. We are also based eight miles inland from the coast itself and we have a ridge of hills that protect us from that prevailing southwesterly wind. Because we have fair weather here too it means we can start harvesting a week or two later than they do in the southeast. We leave our fruit hanging for a bit longer so it gets riper. We’re also one of a handful of producers in the UK that doesn’t filter any of our wine. We use old oak barrels and create slightly lower pressure wines. We’re looking at a mildly different style of English sparkling wine. It all comes together thanks to the site and the team that we’ve got.

I came into winemaking through a slightly unusual route. Usually you would do a winemaking course.

Having grown up in south Devon, I got a summer job at a nearby vineyard labelling wine. Then I left school and the winemaker at the time needed some help with the harvest. I did that, went travelling, came home and needed a job again so picked up more bottle-labelling work.

I’m quite an inquisitive person, and I started asking, "How does that get made? How does it get here?" I learned on the job and developed a huge passion for it, and I’ve been head winemaker at Langham for three and a half years now. Winemaking involves a lot of science, geology and geography, but it has a creative, experimental side as well. It’s all about trying to showcase the best of Dorset in a bottle and have some fun with it.

My favourite spot on the Jurassic Coast is Ringstead Bay. It’s great to go after work—as a team, with mates or just on your own—to go and swim every day or have a barbecue and just enjoy life.

Wes Dowell is the director of Lyme Regis Brewery, a brewery which produces craft beers inspired by the Jurassic Coast

lymeregisbrewery.com

i’ve lived on the Jurassic Coast my whole life. My mother’s side of the family moved here from Sussex many years ago, and my father’s side go back many generations locally.

My family set up an ice cream business here in the early 1980s. As a child I helped with the family business and at school I studied graphic design. After a brief period studying at West London University, I decided to return home to make a living here as the place is too charming to leave. The scenery in particular really is breathtaking.

Lyme Regis is a charming town rich in history. I am particularly interested in the town’s vibrant past

and we reference this in the beer we produce to tell the stories behind the town and its residents.

The local community is very passionate about the town and preserving its charm. It’s very hard to walk along the seafront or through town without getting caught in pleasant conversation with the locals and visitors. There is a strong feeling of “Love Lyme”.

Myself and three friends saved Lyme Regis Brewery from closure late in 2018. My design studio is opposite the brewery tap and I always felt the business could do better. We knew nothing about brewing, but decided to try and make the business a success. We rebranded and reopened after just a week and since then haven’t looked back!

Despite a couple of difficult years with the COVID pandemic, the business has grown and we are now profitable and sustainable. We are continually investing in the business and growth is steady and organic. The owners treat the business as a hobby. We employ the staff to run it and we oversee operations in the background. We’re really proud to provide our brilliant team and their families with employment and financial security. It’s also a brilliant place to meet people from all over the world over a pint or two!

As you drive into Lyme Regis from Seaton you go over the crest of the hill and can see eastwards along the coast to Charmouth, Golden Cap, West Bay and Portland. This view is ever changing and quite spectacular. It never gets old and is a frequent reminder of just how beautiful this part of the world is. n

The World If I Ruled

Tommy Emmanuel is a Grammy-nominated acoustic guitarist who spent decades filling stadiums across Europe as a rock ’n’ roll lead guitarist. His new album, Accomplice Two, was released to rave reviews

Clean water My first idea is that everyone has to have clean water. It’s the number one priority. Everybody, no matter where they are, needs access to clear, clean water. Because without water, we’re dead. Companies trying to have a monopoly on water is just plain wrong.

Tommy

Emmanuel

Affordable energy I also think we need to have affordable energy. These days, the more everything is going up, energy prices keep going up almost ahead of everything else. So, people under incredible strain already come up against huge bills. They haven’t budgeted for it and it’s gone up. It’s so wrong.

Affordable healthcare In some countries if you got sick and needed your appendix out to save your life, you would be treated, you would be nursed back to health, and they would check you out. But that doesn’t happen in places like America. Over there, you do not get a headache in case it costs you money. It’s ridiculous. Australia has Medicare and when we pay our taxes a percentage of that covers the

medical profession. If you have to buy medicine you share your Medicare card and it’s a fraction of the cost.

Children will be taught to listen From a very young age, learning to listen should be a part of children’s education. We should grow up learning to be good listeners rather than just always banding opinions around loudly. It should be taught to everyone, and it should start at home.

Dedicated phone breaks In the normal working day, there should be a mandatory 15-minute break from any phone or any screen. I think a person should be made to have some quiet time to give their body, mind and spirit a break. Meditation and prayer are two very important things that help us to cope with life the way it is. Whenever I go to a restaurant or if I’m talking with somebody, I never take my phone. I leave it in the car.

Parents should make sure their children get outdoors I think parents should make it a priority that their children are not in the house all the time, that they’re not on a computer. They should go outdoors and go walking, playing, breathe the air and see the world around them. When you go outside, the world is a beautiful place. But people sadly rarely look!

More hybrid cars I’m sceptical about the production of battery-powered cars. People have been sold on it and think it’s a great idea, but it comes with its own set of problems. Even down to where the materials to make the battery come from! People are working in mines in Africa, basically slave labour, where they’re mining the materials to make these batteries—so that people with money can have this new fancy technological thing. And what happens to the battery afterwards? Where will it be disposed? If I was to get a new car, it would be hybrid.

No self-driving cars I wouldn’t allow self-driving cars! I just wouldn’t trust it. I think in general we have to learn to be responsible for our own actions. We’re responsible for keeping our world tidy, for how we do things, and for how we clean up after ourselves. That’s a rule of mine, wherever I am I make my own bed. Even if I’m in a hotel, I get up in the morning and I make my bed. They may come and remake it better than I did, but at least I did it. So it’s a way of taking responsibility. I think we need to do that more, including in driving our own cars. n

AS TOLD TO ALICE GAWTHROP

Tommy Emmanuel tours the UK in January 2024 (tommyemmanuel.com). His Accomplice Two album is out now

THE PERFECT LIFESTYLE?

Enjoy it at a Tingdene residential park

Retirement should be a time of your life which is filled with freedom, financial security and friendships. And, with a little planning, it can be. Whether you’re just starting out on your retirement journey, have been retired for a while but are looking for a change of lifestyle, or just fancy a simpler pace and way of living, Tingdene Residential Parks can offer a fabulous way to enjoy your later years.

Specifically aimed at the retired and semi-retired, Tingdene Residential Parks are designed to fit the kind of lifestyle you’re yearning for. With residences set in beautiful locations across the country in rural, coastal and woodland areas, yet never more than a few miles from essential amenities, these settings have been chosen to complement both an energetic and active way of life, with countless sports and leisure opportunities, hobbies and days out right on the doorstep, along with offering restful serenity and laidback living.

Park life

Choosing to live in a residential park and park home offers numerous advantages and benefits, whatever your individual situation. From financial security, friendly communities and proximity to loved ones to single-storey living, ease of maintenance, and turnkey pricing for fully furnished homes, a residential park lifestyle provides a unique and fulfilling living experience for many different people. And, whether you’re seeking a peaceful retirement or a more relaxed and sociable environment, Tingdene residential parks offer a sense of security, a welcoming community, and a hassle-free way of life that can enhance your later years in the best possible way.

“We have a brilliant life. Our advice to anyone thinking about a Park Home would be to decide what you want from life and just go for it! It’s everything, we’re so happy here. We have no regrets and we really love it!”

Financially secure relaxed living

One of the main advantages of living in a residential park is the financial security it provides. A park home is an affordable alternative to traditional housing, and has lower overheads such as lower council tax, maintenance and utility expenses. It also allows you to release equity from your previous property and enjoy a more relaxed and cost-effective lifestyle.

Community and companionship

Park living also offers a strong sense of community and companionshipperfect for building lasting friendships and enjoying social events and activities together. It also offers an opportunity to

move nearer to friends and family so you can spend more time with your loved ones.

Interior style, exterior ease

If you’re looking for a gorgeous abode that’s unique to you then look no further! Firstly, park homes are usually single-storey, offering comfort, accessibility, and convenience. They’re great for anyone who is concerned about mobility, offering a safe and comfortable living environment with all essential amenities located on one level.

Secondly ‘turnkey pricing’ means that homes are sold fully furnished and ready for you to move into straight away. Whilst you can customise your home to perfectly suit your retirement ambitions, the homes are thoughtfully designed and equipped to ensure a stylish living space.

Modern materials also mean less maintenance is required on your home, with landscaping and

communal areas maintained by Tingdene, allowing you to simply relax and enjoy your surroundings.

Effortless and hassle free sale and purchase

Buying a park home isn’t just a great choice – it’s a stress free one too. With Tingdene’s ‘Move +’ assistance scheme, the transition to your new life can be simple and trouble-free.

From arranging valuations and assessing market values, to expertly managing estate agents and advising on the marketing of your property, the Move + team essentially do all of the hard work, offering an easy way of selling your home and moving into your new

home in the most effortless way. Even if you’re struggling to sell your current home Tingdene can help.

With their part-exchange scheme, you don’t need to wait to move inonce you’ve made the decision on where you want to live and have reserved a plot, they will purchase your current property (although their offer is entirely obligation free and at no cost to you). It really is that simple. What’s more, there are no estate agent fees to pay and legal costs are usually reduced when compared with a traditional sale. In most cases there’s plenty of equity in bricks and mortar, meaning you’ll have the funds available to start living your new life. Find more at tingdene-parks.

COASTAL | RURAL | TOWN & COUNTRY

The best locations for the best life From unspoilt countryside to outstanding landscapes, with Tingdene Parks, you’ll find the perfect park to suit you. You can choose to site your new home on a brand new park or on a new development within an established park home estate.

A breath of fresh air

The North Yorkshire could be just right for you. Nestled in the cosy town of Saltburn by the Sea, this peaceful park is a mere 5 minute walk from the beach. Imagine lazy evening strolls along the coastline or an early morning dip to start the day. This is what retirements were made for! This very special seaside location is hugely popular and there’s always something to do if you’re keen, otherwise you can just enjoy the peace and tranquillity of coastal life. Find your ultimate sea change lifestyle at Hazelgrove Park.

Offering a breath of fresh air - relax and unwind in one of the jewels in Tingdene Park’s crown. A brand-new development, just a few minutes’ drive from the Essex Sunshine Coast, Sandpiper Gardens is the perfect idyl for anyone looking for open countryside views with the sounds of crashing waves and the taste of salty sea air from the nearby coast. Perennially popular and with a wonderfully welcoming community Clacton’s effortless charm blends timeless tradition with the contemporary. A world of possibilities for a life less ordinary.

The best of both Want the best of both worlds?

Badgerwood Park, Wokingham, Berkshire offers the perfect balance of town and country living and is one of Tingdene Parks’ latest residential developments located in a stunning woodland close to a golf course. If you’re looking to retire to a quiet, leafy part of Britain, but want to stay close to London and a full range of amenities then this is the park you’ve been looking for. A beautiful park, with the vibrant town of Wokingham to the north and the quieter village of Crowthorne to the south it really is a great place to find the lifestyle you’ve always wanted in a place that you’ll love.

Tingdene: residential living just for you

With 30 years of experience, Tingdene Parks know how to deliver high-quality housing. From coast to countryside, their parks offer the choice of peace and tranquillity or the vibrant surroundings of urban life – residents describe their surroundings as being reminiscent of traditional rural villages, buzzing with community life.

But moving to a Tingdene park isn’t just about the lifestyle. With today’s uncertain economy, moving to a park can also help with future finances. Whether you’re mortgage free or looking to release equity, you can move into a brand new, fully furnished home, designed to the highest

spec (all homes come with a 10-year manufacturers’ warranty and are built to British Standard BS3632) in the location of your choice. And, with no stamp duty, a part-exchange option and assisted move schemes you can make the move into a park home sooner than you think.

Tingdene Parks are there to help with every aspect, from financial to legal to simply moving in and getting to know the neighbours.

Visit www.tingdene-parks.net to find out more or call one of their friendly advisors on 01933 427817 to start planning your best retirement today.

How DNA testing is bringing families together

BY Sarah Treleaven

In 2018, Jeff HIgHsmItH of texas started a Facebook page on behalf of his family. The page had one objective: to find Melissa Suzanne Highsmith, Jeff’s sister. At just 21 months, she had been abducted from Fort Worth by her babysitter 51 years earlier and the family was desperate for answers.

In addition to the Facebook page, they made flyers with baby Melissa’s face and ageprogression photos that indicated what she might look like now, in her fifties. Remarkably, they were convinced she was still alive all these years later, and determined to be reunited with her.

They knew that more tools were now available to help locate missing persons— such as genealogy kits with DNA tests. And so, the family bought kits from 23andMe, and then uploaded the results to a public database called GEDmatch.

It seemed like a shot in the dark, but it worked. In November 2022, the Highsmith family found Melissa through a key DNA match: Melissa’s daughter. By pulling the threads of DNA matches, triangulating connections on a much bigger family tree, they zeroed in on the baby snatched so long ago. The family reunion was a joyful one. Melissa described being found as “the most wonderful feeling in the world.”

The story of Melissa Highsmith and her family got global news coverage. But it’s only one of many cases of people being connected by DNA analysis. In Canada, siblings separately adopted

from Romania when they were babies were reunited in their fifties when both took a DNA test to learn more about their biological health; turns out they had spent much of their lives within a 30-minute drive of each other. And two sisters—one in the UK, the other in the Netherlands—met for the first time in 75 years after learning that they have the same father.

There are countless stories. In Spain, a DNA database has been set up to identify the “stolen babies” of the Franco dictatorship. Black Americans are using DNA tests to learn about family lineages disrupted by slavery. And stories about recent tragedies— including the devastating February earthquake in Syria and Turkey—have included details about how DNA was being used to reunite children with their parents.

Much of the news coverage of DNA technology advances has focused on capturing a killer or identifying a longdead victim. But there’s another, equally compelling possibility: solving cold cases involving a living victim or missing person. In other words, someone out in the world, location and identity unknown, who can be made aware of who they really are only through DNA.

Police forces have stepped up efforts to utilise it, and private businesses have also hopped on board, creating databases and putting the tools for DNA collection into the hands of consumers. Crucially, there’s also been a rise in citizen sleuths and investigative genetic genealogists, perhaps bolstered by our insatiable love for true crime, who are helping to bring ordinary families together again.

Melissa Highsmith as a baby; and today, after being reunited with her mother and father

According to Michael Marciano, director of research for the Forensic and National Security Sciences Institute (FNSSI) at Syracuse University’s College of Arts and Sciences in New York, there have been major advances in recent decades in how forensic DNA analysis is done. One has to do with sensitivity: our ability to detect lower amounts of DNA than ever before. That means researchers can now identify the DNA that’s deposited from someone touching an object or a person.

It also means that mixed DNA samples (including more than one person’s DNA) can be disentangled. “For example, a perpetrator enters a bank, picks up the pen where you fill out your deposit slips, writes a note and gives it to the clerk,” says Marciano. “We know the perpetrator picked up the pen, but how many other people did? Their DNA might be on it too.” Now it’s easier to isolate the perpetrator’s genetic material.

The second major development has to do with how results are analysed. Software and computing power have improved sufficiently that we can create better models and more accurate statistics that help analysts interpret the samples they’ve collected. But still, to get a match, researchers must be able to link a sample to a DNA profile. “Forensics is about comparisons,” says Marciano. “If I have a fingerprint or DNA profile but

nothing to compare it to, I can’t determine whose it is.”

This is where databases of DNA profiles come in. Sometimes, those profiles are derived from courtmandated samples or samples collected from crime scenes or missing persons cases. Dean Hildebrand runs a forensics lab at BC Institute of Technology in Canada, and for decades he has done work for the government coroner service, running DNA samples that primarily come

CONSUMERS ARE BUYING THE PROMISE TO UNCOVER THEIR HERITAGE AND MAKE CONNECTIONS

from missing persons or their families. Some are from remains found at scenes. Other times, he runs samples from the belongings of a missing person—a blanket the person couldn’t sleep without, or a pair of broken glasses left behind.

“We have an avalanche of those samples coming through all the time,” says Hildebrand. Many are attached to long-cold cases. More than a decade ago, Hildebrand helped develop a missing persons database so police officers can log unidentified remains and the samples from missing persons.

BUt LateLY, Dna seaRCHIng has had little to do with foul play. Companies such as Ancestry.com, 23andMe, FamilyTreeDNA and MyHeritage have sold consumers on the idea of uncovering their heritage and making connections. It’s DNA analysis as a party game for the whole family.

And it’s very popular. By the start of 2019, according to MIT Technology Review, more than 26 million people had sent their DNA to one of four commercial ancestry and health databases on the market.

These products and their analysis are the result of technological

TWENTY YEARS AGO, WE COULDN’T SIMPLY

SPIT IN A TUBE AND GET A REPORT ON OUR LINEAGE

advancement; 20 years ago, it wouldn’t have been possible for you and your family to spit in tubes, put them in the post, then receive a report on your lineage. But they also reflect a growing social phenomenon: a fascination with drawing connections and insights into the self through the use of genetic material.

“When you have a lot of good quality DNA, you can capture a lot of information about an individual,” says Nicole Novroski, assistant professor in

the department of anthropology at the University of Toronto. She says that the databases of private ancestry or genealogy kit companies really grew, and then came the option to put your DNA sample on public databases allowing people to make additional connections as well.

GEDmatch is one such public database. It allows users to compare samples across a broader spectrum than a single site, looking for matches with overlapping genetic material. The bigger the overlap, the more likely the match is a close relative, like a parent, child, grandparent or first cousin.

“Sometimes, it’s a dead end,” says Novroski. “But the more people in the database, the more potential there is to make a connection, even if it’s a farout one. Then it’s the genealogists’ and the investigators’ job to kind of rebuild all that missing information together for these big family trees or kinship determinations.”

Novroski says that the work of armchair detectives, uploading samples and combing through DNA matches, can yield a mixed bag of implications. “It’s doing a lot of good by solving cold cases,” she says. “But some people don’t like the information they find, especially when there’s been infidelity and things of that nature that were previously not known or discussed.”

The number of public and private databases for genetic identification is growing. In China, authorities keep a

database that includes the DNA of parents of missing children, and of any children found by police. The system was thrust into the spotlight in 2021 when a family was reunited with their kidnapped son after 24 years—a case that also drew attention to the devastation of living with the uncertainty of a loved one’s disappearance.

Before the family was reunited, the son’s father, Guo Gangtang, spent years criss-crossing the massive country in his determination to find his son, Guo Xinzhen, often sleeping outdoors and travelling by motorbike with flyers and a flag displaying his son’s image. Without the help of DNA, he likely would never have found his son. According to Chinese media, thousands of missing children have been found thanks to the database.

tHe DesIRe to ConneCt with family members, missing or not yet discovered, has given rise to another phenomenon: Investigative Genetic Genealogy (IGG). IGG takes all the newly public DNA information being uploaded to genealogy websites and combines it with other sources of public and private data—such as Facebook profiles, marriage records and even worn paper copies of family trees—to infer relationships and build out networks of people.

It’s as much a social phenomenon as a technological one, and a wave of IGG

investigators are now working in tandem with families and law enforcement to find missing persons and solve long-standing mysteries. One famous recent example is when an IGG investigator, a retired solicitor with a PhD in biology named Barbara Rae-Venter, helped police track down California’s “Golden State Killer,” who had eluded authorities for decades, by combing through DNA of the killer’s distant relatives.

But IGGs are also being consulted to help families find long-lost relatives. In March 2022, Christa Hastie decided to help her mother, Vera, age 80, solve a family mystery: what had happened to Vera’s sister, Rosemarie, when she vanished from the streets of Montreal one winter day in 1954 at the age of 14? Over six months, Vera and Christa searched for information related to Rosemarie’s disappearance.

Guo Xinzhen was reunited with his family 24 years after he was abducted at age two

Christa already had a DNA profile on Ancestry, and now she added profiles to other major sites. She also got an investigative genealogist to help her zero in on maternal matches. They found a DNA match close enough to be Rosemarie’s grandchild, but when Christa reached out to the person, they claimed not to know Rosemarie.

Since Vera was born in Germany, she and Christa enlisted the help of a genealogist with experience in DNA testing in that country. Carolin Becker put Vera’s grandmother’s surname into a database she had constructed, and her software found nine generations of ancestors. “A whopping 34 pages of tiny text,” says Christa.

Becker cross-referenced the data with matches from DNA sites, ruling out anyone who wasn’t both a maternal and paternal match to Vera. And she helped Christa and Vera reach out to long-lost relatives, adding their DNA to the family tree and bolstering the search.

Ultimately, more than 900 people fleshed out that family tree, dating to the 17th century. Using DNA Painter, a website with geneology research tools, Christa was able to re-confirm the specific match: Rosemarie’s granddaughter, who had been identified before.

Christa reached out again, this time with proof, and Christa and Vera connected with Rosemarie’s whole family. The truth was astonishing: Rosemarie had died years earlier, but her life hadn’t ended when she disappeared all those decades ago; she

Vera (left, at age 11) with her sister, Rosemarie (at 13)

went on to have children and grandchildren. So while there would be no reunion, no explanation for Rosemarie’s disappearance, knowing she had not been murdered was a huge comfort to Vera.

There was another upside to their search: because the IGG helped them map out a comprehensive family tree, they were united with or introduced to relatives they now keep in touch with. Christa and Vera emerged from this exercise with an expanded sense of family.

That’s exactly the promise of commercial DNA sites. And it’s easy to imagine any number of positive outcomes. We now have the capability to reunite lost family members separated by war or other circumstances. We can pinpoint the ancestral homes of adoptees or others whose biological connections have been severed.

BUt noW ImagIne a less rosy scenario: a family tries DNA kits as a fun activity, swabbing the inside of their cheeks while standing around the dinner table, and then eagerly awaits the results—only to have those kits show, unexpectedly, that one of the kids is not a biological match. “The more information we’re collecting from our DNA, the more we open this Pandora’s box of ethical considerations,” says Hildebrand. “Because there can be big surprises awaiting—some of them really great, and some shocking.”

The privacy implications can also be astounding. At least one consumer site (GEDmatch) now has an opt-in clause allowing what you upload to be searched by both the police and the public. Since DNA is shared between biological family members, if a relative uploads theirs to one of these sites, they are potentially implicating you as well, because their DNA is obviously linked to yours. So anyone who wants to, say, anonymously donate sperm or give up a baby for adoption could one day be identified—even if they never actually provide their own DNA sample.

“I think it’s a very powerful thing,” says Hildebrand, adding that if only around ten per cent of people add their DNA samples into one of these public or private databases, we would be able to identify every single human on Earth.

And that comes with benefits and drawbacks. “As people get more into this, we’ll be closer to the point where you pretty much can’t hide,” he says. “It’ll be possible to link every family in the world.”

For the Highsmith family, who were happily reunited in Texas after decades apart, DNA was the link. “Our finding Melissa was purely because of DNA, not because of any police/FBI involvement, podcast involvement, or even our family’s own private investigations or speculations,” notes one Facebook update. “DNA WINS THIS SEARCH!”. n

TheFlyingNest

For a parent whose child has grown up and recently left home, feelings of unexpected pain and even grieving can arise. Here’s how to deal with empty nest syndrome

BY Susannah Hickling

EMPTY NEST SYNDROME hit me unexpectedly in Tesco and it hit me like a freight train. All the chicken breast fillets were packaged for two people and there was only one of us at home now. I spent the rest of that food shop choking back tears.

I was shocked at my reaction. My 18-year-old son was loving his first term at uni and I was thrilled for him. I’d always found parenting a bit of a chore and had always worked, so it wasn’t as if I was defined by motherhood. What was going on?

It seems that feelings of sadness when a child leaves home are common among parents. The COVID-19 pandemic hasn’t helped.

With lockdowns throwing families together 24/7, we got very used to having our children around. A study of 1,000 parents from student accommodation provider Unite Students found that 98 per cent of mums and dads who were dropping off their offspring at university for the first time in 2021 experienced extreme grief, with 93 per cent believing the pandemic had aggravated it.

Yet you can’t get a diagnosis of empty nest syndrome. It doesn’t exist as a mental health condition and some academics have pooh-poohed it. A 2015 University of Arizona study of 2,200 mostly well-educated mothers found they were actually

more unhappy when their children were at middle school and concluded, “‘empty nest’ syndrome is largely a myth”. Other researchers have found children leaving home has a positive effect on parents’ wellbeing. But research remains limited, perhaps reflecting experts’ lack of interest in the subject.

So what is empty nest syndrome? “It’s a very real phenomenon,” insists GP Dr Dominique Thompson, a young people’s mental health specialist and author of How to Grow a Grown-Up, aimed at parents. “It can be as strong as a grief reaction for some people.” For psychotherapist Lucy Beresford, it’s a life event. “It’s

about an ending, it’s about loss and the ending of one particular, defined relationship and a transition to another type of existence. You spend less time with the person and you grow physically apart. They might go to university or get married, therefore your relationship has changed and your role in life has changed.”

This can have a profound effect. “The word ‘empty’ is really crucial— you feel empty and purposeless,” says Beresford, author of Happy Relationships at Home, Work and Play. “You might ask, ‘Who am I?’ It can generate a lot of fear, as well as loneliness and actual concrete depression.” But I was relieved to

discover empty nest syndrome is temporary for most people. “It’s a loss in life but we recover from a loss,” stresses Thompson.

Some people feel it more keenly than others. Children leaving may happen while you’re riding the hormonal rollercoaster of the menopause or going through another transition, such as the death of elderly parents. And, let’s face it, it’s always going to feel odd when you wave off your only child or the last of your brood. “Everyone’s situation is different,” cautions Dr Dominique Thompson, “but there are groups of parents who are particularly susceptible—perhaps the ones whose

lives have revolved most around the day-to-day care of their almost grown-up young person, for example a home parent, or perhaps they don’t have the kind of career that takes up a lot of their time.”

FOR ME, MY SON going off to uni came at a difficult moment. I’d brought him up alone since he was a baby, when his father was killed in an accident, and I was looking for a nursing home for my mother while supporting my brother who has a learning disability. To cap it all, a promising new relationship ended abruptly. I was staring at the rest of my life and it looked bleak.

Other lone parents I know also seemed to suffer disproportionately. “A lot of their life revolves around that person and you imagine you haven’t got the support other people might have if there’s another parent,” suggests Lucy Beresford. But that’s not necessarily the case, she believes. “There are a lot of people in relationships who end up feeling lonelier because they expect they are going to reconnect as a couple, and it doesn’t happen.” Willis Atherley-Bourne, a psychotherapist at the Priory Hospital Hayes Grove, Bromley, believes single parents might doubt their parenting. “There may be pressure to set the child off

in the best way possible but they feel they haven’t done enough because they can’t be both parents.”

Most research has centred around mothers, but fathers suffer too. “Dads fear for their daughters,” explains Atherley-Bourne. “They worry about what it is to be a young woman in the world now.” Andy Baker, 62, from Cardigan in Pembrokeshire was unconcerned when his son left home, but when his daughter flew the nest a couple of years later, he felt differently. “I felt I couldn’t protect her anymore,” he recalls.

But sometimes there appears to be little rhyme or reason to parents’ grief when their young people move

DEALING WITH EMPTY NEST SYNDROME

Acknowledge it If empty nest syndrome hits you hard, don’t pretend you’re OK if you’re actually not. You need to allow yourself to grieve.

Keep people in your life

Friends, family and workmates help maintain perspective.

Get some support Talk to a sympathetic friend. Consider cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but make sure to see your GP if feelings continue beyond six months. You may be depressed.

Keep busy Get involved in things that interest you and pick up new activities.

Keep a diary Writing down your thoughts about the situation can help you come to terms with the sadness.

Nurture something Get the pet you always wanted or walk a neighbour’s dog.

out. Busy English teacher Alexia Bartlett, 55, from Street in Somerset cried all the way home after she and her husband dropped their son off at university in Bath, in spite of having a younger daughter still at home. “I used to open his bedroom door and peer in and look at his things and smell his smell,” she remembers. Even though her son is now in his third year, she still misses him when he goes back to campus at the beginning of term, but tries to rationalise it. “I’m happy he’s independent, competent, sensible and responsible. It’s good he’s away. It’s what you wish for.”

GIVEN THE SEEMINGLY random nature of empty nest syndrome, I’m intrigued to know if I could have avoided it. It seems it’s all about the preparation in the months and weeks leading up to Departure Day. “Look at purpose, look at people and look at planning ahead,” says Dr Dominique Thompson. “Think about the different areas of your life—work or whatever else gives you purpose, friends and family, activities, such as sport or volunteering.” She suggests listing the things you’ve always wanted to do. This could be the moment to look for a job or start that book club. “Will you have to make other changes?” she asks. “Is the house too big?” Take a good look at your relationships. “If you’re in a couple, it’s the perfect time to think about whether intimacy has been

neglected, what your libido levels are like or whether there’s something the two of you could do together, maybe that big trip to the Galapagos,” says Lucy Beresford.

Friends are key. “Try to make some new friends,” she counsels. “It stops you being lonely and gives you the sense that this is not the end of your life, just the end of this particular phase.” Keep in touch with existing pals, picking one or two to talk to about the impending departure of your child. “And that first week they’re not there, do something every day,” Thompson says. “Go for coffee with a friend, to the gym, do a cycle ride, walk a dog, decorate—whatever you’re into.”

A massive no-no is confiding your fears to your child. “They absolutely shouldn’t be having to get you through it,” says Thompson. “Be able to have gentle conversations with them,” adds Willis Atherley-Bourne. “For example, saying, ‘I’m really going to miss you but I’m looking forward to not picking up your bits

and pieces.’” He also recommends setting a regular time in the week to chat to your child once they’re away.

Above all, practise self care. “Make sure you have great sleep and good nutrition, because even if you’re overwhelmed, you’ve got the basics to help you survive,” says Beresford.

As for my empty nest, I decided to replaster and repaint it. I’ve also taken the French exam I’d been meaning to sit for years and go out regularly with friends now I no longer have to prepare meals for my son. He’s moved out and we’ve both moved on. n

Genetically Speaking

All humans are 99 per cent identical. Dr Jeff Foster from H3 Health explains, “The visual or internal differences in us are only due to tiny variations in genetics”

Dr Foster also adds that it’s not just other humans that we’re similar to. “This is also why we are so similar to many other animals—from a genetic perspective”

SOURCE: NEWSWEEK.COM

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Estonia has become one of Europe’s most intriguing destinations

A Nation Of Saunas And Startups

By Todd Pitock from the Boston GloBe

Colourful Tallinn, Estonia's capital city on the Baltic Sea, is rich in history

The weather when I arrive in Tallinn can’t quite reach a decision. As I amble around the walled medieval Old Town of the Estonian capital with my guide for the day, Mari Toom, the sun and the clouds grapple. When we reach a lookout point, the sun gets an advantage and lights up the red tile roofs and painted buildings, and the steeples, spires, and domes that define Tallinn. A gloom hangs over the Baltic Sea in the distance, and a shower begins to fall, but the sun holds on, the rain glistens in its beams and a sparkling rainbow comes between them.

“In South Africa,” I say, “when there’s sun and rain at the same time, they call it a monkey’s wedding.”

“In Estonia,” responds Mari, “they call it summer.”

In 2020, the country concluded a three-year celebration marking 100 years of statehood, although during that century it was occupied by Germany during the Second World War and then annexed by the Soviet Union until 1991. It was a grim interruption during which Estonia as a country was literally wiped off the map. Now, Estonians want the world to know who, what, and where they are—and how in a few short years they have become the creators of outsized achievement.

The country sits just above the other Baltic states, Latvia and Lithuania. It has little in common with them culturally, and even less with Russia, but a lot with Finland, whose language is similar. At different periods, it has been considered to be at the eastern edge of Europe or the western edge of the Soviet Union. In the three decades since that deep fog lifted, it has become a beacon of progress in which all citizens have healthcare and free education is available at every level, and where filing taxes takes only minutes a year (there is a flat rate for everyone of 20 per cent).

For Estonia, knowledge is power. The University of Tartu and the

Left: A street in Tallinn's Old Town; the Church of St Nicholas at the end was built in the early 19th century.

Right: The ultra-modern Estonian National Museum in Tartu puts an emphasis on the uniqueness of Estonia's culture. Below: Kalamaja is Tallinn's prime hipster area

partnership). One venture called Robot Muralist created a robot that can put a mural on the side of a multistorey building in just hours, with minimal paint and no scaffolding. The co-founder, Mihkel Joala, has an engineering background but didn’t graduate from college. “I invent by meditating,” he tells me.

Tallinn University of Technology are its Oxford and Cambridge. It’s a nation of ideas and startups. “Skype is from Estonia," Mari says. "Scandinavians created the company, but the knowledge came from Estonia.”

Startups also include Bolt (formerly Taxify), the ride-sharing service; TransferWise, a global currency exchange; and Playtech, a leading gambling software company (an Estonian-Israeli

Success has infused zest and optimism. I’ve come just to have a look around, and I am as interested in the recent past and ancient traditions as in the innovations and everything else that makes this place so intriguing.

To get a sense of where Estonia is going, I visit a couple of museums that show where it has come from. Just off Town Hall Square on Pagari Street are the KGB Prison Cells. Down a few stone steps is a compact space of a half-dozen cells, and it doesn’t take long to imagine what went on here. Arbitrary arrests, interrogation, banishment… incomprehensible brutality associated with so much grief.

At the Vabamu Museum of Occupations and Freedom, the emphasis is on liberation in the years after the Second World War. It avoids the kind of propagandist and triumphant style that would, I think, trivialise what was in fact a gargantuan struggle.

I step into Freedom Square and explore Old Town. In Town Hall Square, outdoor cafe tables are full, suitcase wheels clack on cobblestone streets they weren’t built for, and people steal a smoke in an alley as if it’s an illicit pleasure. In Valli Bar, I try the house shot—sambuca, tequila and Tabasco sauce. It’s an assault on common sense, but I seem to be the only one who thinks so.

The building styles change outside of Old Town as I make my way toward Baltic Station Market and neighbourhoods beyond.

The market sells artisanal cheese, chocolate, textiles and souvenirs. Its name comes from the train station— the first line connecting Tallinn to St Petersburg, several hours to the east.

Telliskivi is the prime hipster area, gritty but not grimy, with evocative street art and some great spots to eat and drink. It’s anchored by the Telliskivi Creative City, a private development of Soviet industrial sites. It houses cafes like Lendav Taldrik, a casual Asian fusion place; a craft beer bar, Pudel; and fashion and design shops. It also hosts arts

events, including a recent dance/ theatre piece called “Together Forever,” which asked if love can last, with allusions to Nicolas Cage. Estonians are passionate consumers of American pop culture.

Telliskivi is part of a larger neighbourhood revival called Kalamaja, where I meet Adam Rang, a 33-year-old who moved here from England in 2016. His grandfather had left Estonia in 1944, so it wasn’t a totally random choice, and now he and Anni Oviir—his partner, whom he met going to sauna parties—have started a business to introduce tourists to the Estonian saun . His own sauna, open by appointment, is in a suburb of Tallinn. Since it takes hours to reach a proper temperature, we meet instead at a historic public sauna.

While every hotel has a sauna, the real experience is largely communal. “It’s as central to Estonia as the pub is to Britain,” Rang tells me. Unlike the pub, they’re not that accessible to outsiders. Most Estonians have a sauna in their homes and view the public ones as down-market. Also, there was a time, not that long ago, when some saunas were actually brothels, and Kalamaja was one of the sketchiest areas.

In the historic Kalma Saun, men and women are in separate sections. We shower and settle in. The regulars swat themselves with whisks of slender leafy branches,

Above: In southern Estonia, you can find fairytale carvings in stumps. Top right: Eda Veeroja performs a ritual at her smoke sauna. Right: V õru's town square was designed as a modern urban space

most commonly birch, a practice said to promote circulation and relieve muscle aches. They have a lot to say to one another. It’s in Estonian, though, so I have no idea what that is. It’s pretty hot, but still not hot enough for the hardcore types. One wizened veteran pours water with some eucalyptus oil on the hot stones, which smells good at first but spikes the humidity until the heat feels like pepper flakes on my skin. We cool off in a tank of cold water, grab a beer, and go for round two. But I’m a newbie and soon enough have to tap out.

I reach out to see if I might meet Estonia’s best-known street artist, Edward von Lõngus, whose work I’d seen in Telliskivi and enjoyed even before I knew who he was. Von Lõngus’s real identity is a secret, although I manage to get a meeting with his representative, Andra Orn.

I ask how old he is. “I won’t even tell you if he is a he,” Orn says. “I won’t give you any clues.”

“Is it you?” I ask.

“No,” she says with a laugh. “It’s not me.”

“Well, that’s one clue.”

Von Lõngus’s work includes motifs

about death that manage to inject some humour into the topic. It also includes figures from Estonian folklore. “We have two stereotypes,” Orn says. “We’re the digital people and the forest people.” At first I think she means to challenge this, but she

TRAVEL TIPS

Check operating times of restaurants, and availability of hotels, on their websites, or connect via the tourist site visitestonia.com

WHERE TO STAY

Tallinn The contemporary Palace Hotel (palacehotel.ee); the more traditional Hotel Telegraaf (telegraafhotel.com) in Old Town.

TarTu Lydia Hotel (lydia.ee) .

Võru Near the smoke sauna at Mooska farm, Georgi Hotel (georgihotell.ee).

WHERE TO EAT

Tallinn Pegasus (restoranpegasus.ee) is stellar; try the pan-fried halibut. ÜLO (ulo.ee) offers delicious vegan and nonvegan fare.

TarTu Restoran Hõlm (holmrestoran. ee) in the Lydia Hotel offers a dish featuring quail, black truffle and sage that’s worth the visit alone.

SAUNAS

For more information on the Estonian sauna culture from a British-Estonian family passionate about helping people understand and enjoy good saunas, see estoniansaunas.co.uk

doesn’t. Perhaps a better word is dualities, like sun and rain.

“An Estonian is only truly happy in the forest,” she says.

I decide to spend time in one. First, though, I stop in Tartu, which is about two hours to the south. Tallinn is four times bigger, and from a Tartuvian perspective, it sucks up too much of the national oxygen, a frustrating reality considering that Tartu, its residents say, has breathed so much life into the country.

“You can’t spell ‘startup’ without Tartu,” one resident tells me, and illustrates it on a notepad: sTARTUp. The University of Tartu sits atop a hill above the Town Hall Square and Emajõgi River. The Estonian National Museum, which reopened in 2016 in a gleaming 366,000-square-foot building, narrates the 11,000-year history of the Finno-Ugric people, which includes Estonians, Finns, Hungarians, and others scattered across several countries and borders.

Tartu is a “smart city,” meaning its entire design is meant to serve and engage citizens in a way I imagine would have appealed to Cicero or Aristotle. “People think ‘smart’ means new technology, or something futuristic, fully automated,” says Lauri Sokk, the head of Smart City Tartu. “But it’s about how citizens connect with the city.” Just after my visit in April 2019, the organisation, working with the local government, took suggestions

from anyone on how they should allocate the town’s budget.

Tartu’s cleanliness, pace and public spaces, like Town Hall Square and the promenade along the Emajõgi River, make its case. Citizens don’t cross against lights, even when there are no cars. One evening a woman notes that I am walking without a reflector on my clothes and tells me I could get fined. “In Philadelphia,” I tell her, so she gets where I’m coming from, “a green light means go, a yellow light means go faster, and most drivers regard the first three seconds of red as optional.”

A work by famous street artist Edward Von Lõngus

The sauna tradition draws on four earthly elements: hot stones, gelid ponds, wood for heat and the leaves of various trees, each said to contain its own properties and energy. “The sauna is our chapel,” says Eda Veeroja, who hosts visitors at her smoke sauna near the Latvian border. Its chamber is heated, like a barbecue, with smoke, and Veeroja, a 57-year-old who learned the sauna’s customs and history through an oral tradition, “greets” it with sonorous incantations that grow in intensity as she summons those forest spirits.

Her look makes me think maybe I should move to a more civilised place.

The next day I head further south to Võru to explore the forest that is said to animate Estonians. The area is flat and dense with birch, pine and spruce trees. There are vast expanses of bogs and wetlands, and villages with wood houses whose communities speak their own languages and dialects. Almost invariably, Estonians I meet want me to know theirs is the least Christian country in Europe, that they’re pagans at heart and in practice. They believe trees are connected to the spirits of ancestors. They do exquisite fairytale carvings out of stumps.

I lie down, letting the sweat work itself into me. The wood planks, the aroma of the whisks, everything works into my mind a little, too. I’m a rationalist. I don’t go in for mysticism. Nonetheless, there is something transcendent about letting go and reaching a state of deep physical relaxation.

One day, as I walk through the woods and onto a narrow boardwalk that runs through a bog that empties into a huge pond, it occurs to me that I like small countries like Estonia the way I like a good short book. It doesn’t feel like a great commitment, which lowers my resistance to experiencing one. n

Take a trip of a lifetime

Although travelling alone may sound daunting, solo travel is continuing to rise in popularity. There may be numerous reasons why someone is travelling independently, and solo travellers invariably come from all walks of life, but they usually all share the same passion - a desire to see the world!

However, solo travel doesn’t mean that you have to conquer the globe all by yourself. Escorted holidays for single travellers allow

A chance to see incredible destinations

Fancy a safari, but your partner not keen? Want to go long haul, but your friend doesn’t like flying? Fancy an exotic adventure but you’re being swayed into another staycation? Don’t let your travel companion’s barriers put you off an incredible adventure. From European favourites to curated city breaks further afield to China and East Asia, there are a variety of solo travel tours for you to adventure on. If you’re looking for fabulous food and weather, Sicily, the largest island in the Mediterranean Sea could offer the perfect break. From its historical sites, colourful cuisine and Mediterranean climate, to its stunning landscapes and the mighty volcano of Mount Etna, there’s so much to see and experience.

you to experience the countries you want to whilst removing the stress of planning. You’ll also be part of a small group of likeminded people, meaning you can explore alone, together.

So, if your friends and family are unable to join you on your dream holiday, don’t let that stop you. Start planning to discover amazing destinations, along with taking a little bit of time out, just for you. Here are our top reasons to travel by yourself.

Fancy something a little more historical? Step back in time with a trip to Egypt and embark on a relaxing river cruise down the Nile. Along the way, visit the Temple of Horus, the Valley of Kings, the High Dam and the Temples of Karnak and Luxor. Sailing the river is a wonderful way to explore a country whilst only unpacking once, and relaxing as you go. Take a guidebook to read onboard whilst relaxing with a glass of something chilled, and immerse yourself in this magical land.

If you have a longer trip in mind, then South Africa, the Rainbow Nation and a country filled with natural beauty, spectacular landscapes and diverse culture could be for you. Take the ultimate South African road trip, the Garden Route; along the way discover

extraordinary sights like driving through the Outeniqua Mountain Pass and the wildlife in the Featherbed Nature Reserve. It’s a trip you’ll never forget – and one which friends and family will sure to be jealous of you experiencing without them.

And for the ultimate solo adventure?

Visit Namibia, the beautiful coastal town of Swakopmund. Experience a safari experience in Etosha, one of Africa’s third largest National Parks and explore the incredible deserts of Soussuvlei and Deadvlei. Enjoy sunrises over the red dunes, and sunsets searching for roaming Namibia wildlife. Incredible.

Time for you

Some people say the best thing about solo travel is the comfort and relaxation of having your very own hotel room during your holiday. However, for those looking for some more adventurous ‘me-time,’ solo tours also typically offer plenty of free time to go it alone. During your time at

leisure, you have the freedom to do your own exploration, see the sights you want to see or simply relax and take it easy. With no-one to compromise with, it’s totally up to you.

Meet like-minded people

It’s often the people you meet on holiday that are the highlight of the entire trip and, even though you’re travelling alone, you’ll have amazing memories of the shared experiences you had together with people in your group. Take plenty of pictures to remember forever.

You’ll never be alone

Group travel is ideal for solo travellers as it offers the opportunity to meet a group of like-minded people, each interested in exploring their chosen destination. Being part of a group provides extra security (especially key for independent female travellers who may feel anxious about being on their own) and for everyone there’s the benefit of an expert local guide who is keen to share their knowledge. The guides also accompany

you on tours and can offer suggestions for what to see and do in your leisure time, to ensure you have an authentic and enjoyable experience on your exciting solo adventure.

Solo holidays are a great way to explore the world and meet new friends in the process. So what’s stopping you? Get out and explore the world today!

Solo travel doesn’t mean you have to be alone. There’s nothing like globetrotting for breaking down barriers and bringing people together.

Escorted Holidays for Single Travellers from Travel Department

Travel Department offer escorted holidays for single travellers which enable you to experience the countries you want to whilst removing the stress of planning. They take care of all the organising, including return flights, transfers, accommodation and excursions in the company of an expert local guide so you can spend more time enjoying the destination.

As part of their solo travel groups, you will tour with a like-minded group of people, sharing wonderful experiences and creating memories that will last forever. For independent female travellers, you can have peace of mind that wherever in the world you visit, safety is paramount, and Travel Department’s local guides will be there to help should you need any assistance.

From European favourites to curated city breaks, further afield to China or a cultural haven like Barcelona, Travel Department provides a variety of solo travel tours for you to choose from. Simply decide on your destination, make a booking and start your solo adventure today.

Travel Department is delighted to partner with Reader’s Digest and offer their readers an exclusive discount on 2023 & 2024 holidays of up to £75pp* off new bookings with their unique discount codes. To discuss any questions or make a booking simply call 0203 966 0527 and mention Reader’s Digest.

To discuss any questions or make a booking simply call 0203 966 0527 and mention Reader’s Digest.

*Offer valid for all new bookings made by 30th September 2023 for any 2023 or 2024 departure. Offer is £75pp off any holiday of 8 nights or more using code RD75, £50pp off any holiday of 7 nights using code RD50 and £25pp off any holiday of 6 nights or less using code RD25. Offers are non-transferable, subject to availability, cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer and have no cash value. All deposits are non-refundable

The North York Moors My Great Escape:

Our reader Tracey Hebron retreats to nature in the North Yorkshire Moors

Iremember the first time we made the two-hour journey from South Yorkshire to the North York Moors. As we arrived at our accommodation in Egton, just three miles from Whitby, the feeling was like that of a deep breath of instant relaxation. All we could see for miles around were green fields and blue skies. No thoughts of work or the daily stresses, it all just melted away in an instant. Taking a break with my parents and our family dog, we walked around the area spotting robins, swifts and deers. All you could hear was bird song, sheep and the distant sounds of a steam train on the North York Moors heritage line.

On a trip out to Whitby, I passed all the beautiful jewellery shops, glistening with the black lustrous shine of Whitby jet (made famous

by Queen Victoria), and the bustling book shops crammed with numerous editions of Dracula , taking the 199 steps up to St Marys Church to take in the stunning view over the harbour and town. Then a visit to the spectacular Whitby Abbey.

On my return to the town, I stopped off at the Captain Cook Museum, then met back up with my parents to enjoy some of Whitby’s famous fish and chips, plus a lemon top ice cream! Back at the cottage we settled in for a night in front of the window, taking in the sights of this beautiful area and if we were lucky, we would get to spot a barn owl in all its glory. The perfect staycation. n

Tell us about your favourite holiday (send a photo too) and if we print it, we’ll pay £50. Email excerpts@ readersdigest.co.uk

London

It mIght look ordInary at first, but don’t be fooled: Queenhithe is actually one of the capital’s oldest locations.

After it had been abandoned by the Romans, Alfred the Great began re-establishing the city in AD886. 13 years later, that plan led to this wide inlet on the River Thames’s north bank near modern-day Cannon Street—which, by still standing today, now represents Central London’s only surviving Anglo-Saxon dock.

Previously called “Ethelred’s Hythe”, the harbour’s name changed in the 11th century when Henry I’s wife Matilda was granted duties on any goods being landed there. Once used for importing corn, it later dealt with commerce from places upstream while Billingsgate, the other side of London Bridge (which large sailing vessels couldn’t pass) hosted international ships.

HIDDEN

Queenhithe GEMS

Animal skins continued to be traded here into the 1900s, but today Queenhithe is heavily silted up. Yet while glassy skyscrapers now loom all around, the tidal beach and its adjacent wharf walls remain intact thanks to a Scheduled Ancient Monument designation.

To learn more, scrutinise the Queenhithe Mosaic, a 30-metre-long timeline artwork on the eastern outer wall. Unveiled in 2014, this features key historical figures who erected, used and frequented the small port. Afterwards, you might walk inland to St Paul’s Cathedral or follow the reopened Thames Path west past the Millennium Bridge.

Film—and specifically Ealing comedy—fans may also recognise Queenhithe. In 1951’s The Lavender Hill Mob , Mr Holland (Alec Guinness) falls into the Thames from here before being rescued by two policemen. n

By Richard Mellor

Should You Fix Your Energy?

With the return of fixed deals, is it worth switching to one, and will it save you money?

Cast your mind back a few years, before the energy bill crisis added hundreds and hundreds of pounds to the cost of our electricity and gas use. You might remember that people like me were always going on about switching and fixing your energy.

The idea was simple. Competition in the market meant it was easy for those out of contract to move their supplier with a couple of clicks for a cheaper deal. As long as you had access to the internet, the whole process of comparing different prices and picking a deal took no more than 15 minutes.

And the biggest savings were for those that not only moved to a different company, but who also fixed their tariff. These were pretty much always cheaper than the variable rate tariffs, which were limited by a price cap.

Though the final bill was dependent on actual usage, a fix meant the standing and unit charges were locked in, protecting you from any future hikes for the length of the deal. It was a big money saver and a no-brainer for anyone who wanted

Andy Webb is a personal finance journalist and runs the award-winning money blog, Be Clever With Your Cash

“IT’S VITAL YOU STILL DO WHAT YOU CAN TO REDUCE YOUR ENERGY USAGE”

to cut what they pay. Well after a long, long period where rising wholesale prices forced some big name suppliers to go bust (leading to a pause in the ability to switch) and government intervention such as the Energy Price Guarantee (which added a maximum charge that was below the price cap), we’re beginning to see the return of fixed deals, and even switching.

This is good news, but with a few caveats. For a start some of the deals are only for existing customers, and the comparison websites won’t necessarily have these listed on their pages for you to see. Though we’ll hopefully be seeing more open

market deals, you’ll largely have to rely on what your supplier offers you, if it offers you anything.

There are also some huge exit fees, often around £150 for a locked-in dual fuel contract (that’s both gas and electricity). Previously these were around the £50 mark, which made it easier to ditch and switch if a really good deal appeared elsewhere. With these charges you won’t be looking to move until the fixed term ends.

But the biggest difference is how much you’ll save. The fixes that have begun to appear aren’t necessarily that much cheaper than variable tariffs, if at all. They’re all actually

pretty close to what the cap is at the moment. It means you will not currently be saving hundreds of pounds a year through a fix.

And this is where an added layer of complication comes into play. The energy price cap is reviewed every three months, with the next change happening at the start of October, and another in January next year. Though the October rate is likely to be not too different to the one that began in July (if anything it should be less), it’s harder to predict what’ll happen in the new year and beyond. If prices across the next 12 months are all lower than the current price cap, and by extension probably the available fixed deals at the moment, it would mean that staying on a variable rate tariff will work out cheaper than locking in now.

Of course there’s a big risk that comes with this. Because what happens if the latest long term

forecasts are way off? What happens if there’s another worldwide crisis that forces prices up again? Well, staying on the price cap tariff will mean your bills increase to higher rates once again.

So even though the new fixes might not necessarily be saving you cash versus doing nothing, they will give you some surety in what you’ll pay for the next 12 months. And that might be more important to you than the potential for lower bills later on.

A final point—it’s important to remember that when I talk about falling price caps and cheaper fixed deals, that’s in relation to the last few years. We’re still paying much higher prices now than ever before, and it’s unlikely we’ll see them drop back to those levels any time soon, if at all.

That means it’s vital you still do what you can to reduce your energy usage as that’s going to be the key way to cut your bills. n

Star Trek Day And Hobbit Day

Star Trek Day takes place on September 8 in honour of the premiere of the original TV series in 1966. Why not go to a viewing party with friends?

Hobbit Day is on September 22, in reference to it being the birthday of hobbits Bilbo and Frodo Baggins. Celebrate by re-reading one of the JRR Tolkien classics

SOURCE: DAYSOFTHEYEAR.COM

Equity release – a family decision?

If you’re a homeowner over the age of 55, you might have considered how its value can support you. Choosing to use your home is a big decision, one that you might consider involving your family in. As it turns out, this is becoming more popular.

Research has shown that equity release customers are now twice as likely to involve their family in the discussion as they were before the pandemic.* Something that you might consider is a product known as a Lifetime Mortgage. With this, you can release tax-free cash and enjoy the freedom to choose how and when to make payments within your lifetime.

Full repayment, plus any interest not paid, will usually be achieved with the sale of the home after you either die or enter long-term care. But is equity release truly a family decision? At Reader’s Digest Equity Release, we believe it is.

Consider inheritance plans

It’s a normal part of your financial planning to consider how your children and grandchildren could be affected. Equity release will reduce the value of your estate, so if you have inheritance plans it can be important to keep them updated on whether that will change.

Stay on the same page

Thinking of offering support to your loved ones now? It’s a very common goal. While bringing your loved ones into the discussion might spoil the surprise, it will make sure that you’re all on the same page.

Better understanding

Involving your family can make sure that both of you can get equity release confident. If they attend your meeting with an adviser, you’ll both understand the benefits and risks. The adviser will walk you through the fact that your estate’s value will be reduced and the possibility that your entitlement to means-tested benefits will be affected.

How can Reader’s Digest Equity Release help?

We can provide a fact-finding consultation with an expert adviser. It’s a great opportunity to find out more about making equity release work for you. We are supportive of your family being in attendance and can explain to you how much you could release and how much it might cost.

You won’t be asked to sign anything or make a commitment. You’ll be given the information and then encouraged to take as much time as you need to consider whether it’s the right choice for you.

Interested in learning more? Contact our UK-based Information Team today and find out if an advice appointment could be the right choice for you and your family.

DBack To (Dog) School

A well-trained dog is a happy dog who will be able to fully take part in family life

ogs learn by association, so if you reward your dog immediately after they do something, the action is much more likely to be repeated.

Here are some top training tips from national pet charity Blue Cross, which, as well as rehoming, provides training and behaviour advice for pet owners.

1. Make learning fun. Your dog will respond much more quickly that way, and if it does make mistakes, it will not be afraid of trying again.

2. Keep sessions short (two minutes) and practise five times a day.

3. Practise in different areas, like the house or garden and on walks, but keep distractions to a minimum until your dog understands.

When to reward:

• All the time for the right movements.

• Then for the whole action.

• Then for best attempts.

Rewards can be:

• Food (this can be part of your dog’s dinner or small treats).

• Praise and attention.

• A toy or game.

Train your dog to respond to its name

1. Hold the reward between your and your dog’s eyeline, say your dog’s name and as soon as your dog looks at you, give the reward.

2. When your dog pays attention to its name, you can teach the dog to come when called.

Train your dog to come when you call for them

1. Show your dog the toy or food.

2. Run away a couple of paces.

3. Call your dog’s name and say “come” in a happy voice.

4. As the dog comes, hold the collar and either feed or play with them.

5. Gradually increase the distance that you are from your dog, until you can call your dog in and out of the garden or from room to room.

6. Recall your dog regularly when on a walk and give a reward. Don’t call your dog just to put it on the lead.

“Sit” on command

1. Lure your dog into position with a titbits just above its nose, then move your hand over the dog’s back.

2. As the dog’s head tilts up and back the dog will sit. As your dog

actually sits, say the command “sit”. Don’t say it before the dog moves into position or your dog may start associating it with the wrong kind of movement.

Caution—if the reward is held too high, or moved too quickly, your dog may jump up or back off.

Practise the sit at kerbs, or when greeting people, ask your dog to sit rather than jumping up—remember to reward them!

To teach your dog to “wait” or “stay”, ask your dog to “sit” then, instead of giving the treat straight away, wait for a few seconds and then say “wait” or “stay”.

“Leave” or understand “off” Teaching a “leave” or “off”

command is really important as it helps teach your dog self-control. 1. Continue to give titbits, but every third or fourth time say “off” or “leave” and keep the titbit between your fingers and thumb so that your dog can’t eat it.

2. Don’t move your hand away as that will encourage snatching, but as soon as your dog stops nibbling your fingers and moves away slightly, immediately reward them by saying “take it” and allowing the dog to eat the titbit. The dog learns to back off in order to receive the titbit.

For more expert pet advice or to find out more about the charity’s training and behaviour service visit bluecross. org.uk

Age: Five years

Breed: Afghan Hound

Owner: Meryl Thomas

Fun Fact: Hector is a thief!

Email your pet’s picture to petphotos@readersdigest.co.uk

Up-Close: St John’s Wort

In this abridged extract from The Ethnobotanical by Sarah E Edwards, she explores the history of St John’s wort, known for its medicinal uses

The generic name Hypericum for St John’s wort derives from the Greek word hyper-ikon or hyper-eikon (“above image”), with some authors suggesting this meant the herb was hung above painted icons or shrines to drive away evil influences. Historically, St John’s wort was believed to protect houses from lightning and to have the power to repel witches, ghosts and demons: a Latin name for the plant used by medieval herbalists was Euga daemonum of demons”. Before sunrise on St John’s Eve (June 23) was considered the most important time to gather the herb, and festive fires were lit in the evening in honour of St John the Baptist, with the smoke used to purify the herbs, livestock and people.

H. perforatum can grow up to 1m (3ft) high with its reddish stem branching near the top and bearing clusters of bright yellow, star-shaped flowers. The flowers have five (rarely four) petals and sepals with numerous stamens, which are joined at the base into bundles. The yellow petals have conspicuous black dots along the margins. The oblongshaped leaves are 1–2cm long, opposite and with small translucent oil glands that appear as the characteristic “perforations” when held up to the light. The plant has extensive creeping rhizomes, sending roots and shoots all along their length.

St John’s wort is self-fertile and spreads rapidly, growing both vegetatively and sexually; after pollination by bees and other insects, a single plant may produce 100,000 seeds per year, which can remain viable in the soil for decades. It is considered a noxious weed in several countries outside of its native range, and it can poison livestock. Red, yellow and brown coloured dyes can be obtained from H. perforatum . Hypericin is a notable pigment found in the plant, responsible for the red colour of the

plant’s extract, which is said to resemble blood.

Medicinal uses

Belief in the Doctrine of Signatures became popular during the medieval period, whereby it was thought that plants resembling the body part or ailment were signs from God to indicate their use. The red juice from H. perforatum and the perforations in the leaves symbolised the blood and holy wounds of St John the Baptist’s martyrdom, while the cross formed by the leaves when looked at from above only added to the plant’s symbolic association. It is perhaps no surprise, then, that one of the traditional uses of St John’s wort was in treating wounds— as an astringent herb it was applied to scratches and wounds to staunch bleeding. John Parkinson (1567–1650), the apothecary to James I, said that it was “a singular wound herb as any other” and could be drunk boiled in wine, or prepared into oil or ointment for topical use. Both Parkinson and the herbalist Nicholas Culpeper (1616–54) suggested St John’s wort could be used to “dissolve” tumours or swellings. Culpeper recommended a decoction of the herb and flowers taken in wine, or the seed ground into a powder, for use in treating internal bleeding caused by a burst vein, bruises or falls.

Several other uses of St John’s wort were outlined by Culpeper including against bites and stings, a decoction of seeds for sciatica, epilepsy and palsy, and a decoction of leaves and seeds to be drunk for “ague fits”, which were fever-chills—a characteristic symptom of malaria. In bygone days in rural areas of Britain, Hypericum was taken as an infusion to treat bed-wetting in children and the elderly, and for coughs or catarrh. It was also said to make hair grow. Topically, it was used to treat burns, bed sores and for healing fractures and sprains.

Historically, a tincture of St John’s wort flowers in spirit of wine was said to ward off melancholia; today it is best known for its use in treating low mood and mild depression. The use of Hypericum in treating mild depression was popular in Ireland, where it was also used to treat gangrene, inflammation, diarrhoea, dysentery and intestinal worms.

In addition to its medicinal uses, St John’s wort flowers can be used in making mead, and the herb can also be used to make a soothing tea. n

The Ethnobotanical: A world tour of indigenous plant knowledge by Dr Sarah Edwards (Greenfinch) is published September 29, priced £30

Markets The Of Lure Local

Paola Westbeek explains the magic and wonder of wandering food markets while on holiday to learn about cuisine and culture

Paola Westbeek is a food, wine and travel journalist who has tasted her way through Europe, interviewing chefs, visiting vineyards and reviewing restaurants. Her work has appeared in FRANCE Magazine and other publications

In An Omelette and a Glass of Wine (1984), Elizabeth David—the culinary author whose words and recipes revolutionised the way postwar Britain ate—devoted five chapters to the markets of France. Her evocative essays, penned for various publications between 1955 and 1984, transport us to sun-drenched villages as they come to life with the hustle and bustle of market day. Customers line up to buy freshly churned butter by the basketful in Yvetot, Normandy. In Montpellier, an elderly gentleman carefully selects tomatoes and artichokes, “one by one, as if he were picking a bouquet of flowers”. At the Saturday market in Valence, the scent of herbs and succulent peaches leaves little doubt that we’re at the gateway to southern France. For David, food markets reflected the culture and traditions of a region just as much as its respected museums, galleries and cathedrals. I couldn’t agree more. Weeks before we set out to discover a new holiday

destination, I take great pleasure in scouring the internet to map out an itinerary of local markets, including those held within a one-hour radius of the town we’re staying in. Markets are more than a place to shop for food (or run-of-the-mill souvenirs like soap, straw baskets and kitchen towels). They are an essential part of truly broadening our horizons. And isn’t that the very reason to travel?

stop at the supermarket or meal served at a hotel as part of an allinclusive package deal will ever provide as much gratification and sense of human connection, not to mention delicious memories.

But how can you really get the most out of a market trip while on holiday? For me, that means getting there early in order to avoid the avalanche of tourists that will

FOOD MARKETS ARE AN ESSENTIAL PART OF TRULY BROADENING OUR HORIZONS

Strolling through markets—from the tiny ones with the offerings of only a handful of farmers, to the most impressive that start on the town square and wind through several streets—is how I discover new tastes and have developed my culinary repertoire. In fact, it is at markets that I have learned the most about food and cooking. No formal training required. Buying seasonal vegetables still dewy from that morning’s harvest, a regional pastry from the person who baked it, or perhaps something you’ve never tried before is not only extremely gratifying, but it is, literally, the ultimate way to savour your destination. It is in these products and encounters that one develops a true understanding and appreciation for food and the love that goes into bringing it to our tables. No quick

inevitably descend upon the town, especially in summer. Between 9am and 10am is really the sweet spot when I can enjoy a leisurely stroll and peruse the stalls without the snail’s pace of crowded streets or endless queues. It’s no wonder this is the time when most locals are doing their shopping. And that’s an added bonus, especially if you happen to speak the language and can engage in some food-related small talk. I’ve learned how to make a stellar green bean salad, grow courgettes, choose porcini mushrooms, bottle my own tomato sauce, taste olive oil and even discovered the history of sangria, Agen prunes and Genovese basil, all while standing at a market stall.

While I am fanatical about meal planning at home, rarely will I visit a foreign market with a shopping

list. Instead, I let the season and my senses guide me. In summer, for example, a post-market lunch might start with cantaloupe halves with the pips removed and the hollows filled with a shot of port. Or, I’ll thinly slice a variety of colourful heirloom tomatoes and top them with crisp shallots, a mustardy vinaigrette and lots of fresh flat-leaf pars ley. With a loaf of sourdough bread, this is a light yet satisfying meal on its own. Summer tomatoes are also excellent for making easy savoury tarts. Simply brush some mustard or olive tapenade over ready-made pastry, top with the tomatoes, scatter with a handful of capers and bake until golden.

In spring, you can do the same with green asparagus, slathering the pastry with cream cheese and finishing it off with fragrant lemon zest to add vibrancy and lift the flavours. Should you not be in the mood to actually cook, simply let the stalls selling olives, prepared salads and Mediterranean delights such as dolmas (stuffed grape leaves), hummus and falafel come to your rescue.

If you’re travelling in autumn or winter, the markets may not be as abundant, but don’t let that or the cooler weather lure you into the nearest shop. A sundry of mushrooms, rustic root vegetables, cabbages and dried legumes await, as do vendors who are ready to

tempt you with numerous hearty local specialties.

In fact, one of my fondest food memories was following my nose on a cold winter morning in Alsace to a stall selling choucroute (sauerkraut simmered in white wine with warming spices like cloves, peppercorns and juniper

berries). I looked in fascination as it was scooped from steaming vats into containers for customers who obviously didn’t mind queuing in the frosty February air. Of course, I did the same. And it was worth it.

That afternoon, from my little house in the Vosges Mountains, I gently heated the choucroute as I had been instructed, topped it with boiled potatoes, opened a bottle of local Riesling and very much felt like a local. n

MONTH FILMOFTHE

THE DIVE

Having a sister is Hard. Answering the question, “Are you OK?” is hard. Being trapped under a rock at 28 metres below water with 25 minutes’ worth of oxygen is extra hard. These are all challenges that sisters Drew (Sophie Lowe) and May (Louisa Krause) must face up in Maximilian Erlenwein’s survival thriller, The Dive. We meet the sisters as they head out on a diving trip off the coast of Malta. Tension is palpable from the offset—May goes quiet on the car journey when Drew mentions that she left a hole when she moved out from the family home—and then things take a turn for the worse when a rockslide causes May to become trapped underwater.

What ensues is a race against time to free May. Obstacles include a limited oxygen supply, a remote destination with no way to call for help, and the risk of the dreaded bends (a condition characterised

by fatigue, pain and difficulty breathing, caused by ascending from a dive too fast without taking decompression breaks).

The film hints at some kind of childhood trauma that may have fractured the sisters’ relationship with flashbacks, but never spells it out for us. Erlenwein strikes a balance between a visceral survival story and a more intimate exploration of the dynamic between sisters, without veering into sentimentality or using a tragic backstory as a cheap trick to raise the emotional stakes.

Between the tense soundtrack, beautiful yet murky underwater setting and minimal cast, The Dive creates a claustrophobic atmosphere that keeps you on the edge of your seat, holding your breath all the way through.

By Alice Gawthrop

H H H H

H H H H

PAST LIVES

a subtly engineered “what if?” story, Past Lives is quietly one of the best films of the year. Like a more adult Sliding Doors, Korean-Canadian playwright Celine Song makes her impressive feature debut here, writing and directing this tale of two childhood friends who find each other again in their adult years.

Greta Lee (Russian Doll) plays Nora, a budding dramatist who left her native Korea when her parents emigrated to Toronto. A dozen years later, now in New York, she reconnects with her old classmate Hae Sung (Teo Yoo) via Facebook. As they chat on Skype sparks fly, but circumstance keeps them apart.

Another 12 years elapse before Hae Sung finally makes it to America, but he’s now in a relationship and Nora is married to Jewish New Yorker Arthur (John Magaro). If this were a Hollywood romance, you’d expect Nora to fall into her countryman’s arms, but Song is smarter than that.

Past Lives is a deeply sensitive and sublimely performed look at the way life throws you curveballs. Introducing the idea of “in-yun,” a reincarnation-themed Korean concept concerning intimate connections, this will appeal to anyone who has ever idly wondered about a long lost love.

By James Mottram

summer brougHt distinct and distinctive visions of Olde England. Bridget Christie’s six-part comedy The Change (Channel 4) aired amid a season devoted to the under-dramatised topic of the menopause, and part of its project was educational. Much as Christie’s flushing heroine Linda flees her family home with vague hopes of teaching her clueless husband a lesson, so too the show conveyed considerable insider knowledge on the turbulence facing women navigating middle age. Men will enter the woodland sanctuary Linda beds into bemused; they should emerge amused and enlightened. Yet with its ear for folky laments and eye for arcane ritual, The Change develops into something far stranger and more enchanting than a televised biology class. Merrily broaching a subject from which other creatives have shied away in terror, it’s finally a celebration of change in all its forms.

Shane Meadows once made genial, knockabout big-screen comedies about dads and lads and blokes in chip shops, and then pivoted to making heavyhitting state-of-the-nation addresses. A little of both, The Gallows Pole (iPlayer) forms a typically lively riff on Ben Myers’ 2017 novel about the true-life misadventures of the Cragg Vale Coiners, 18th-century weavers and farmhands who, lacking two pennies to rub together, collectivised to fashion knock-off currency. Meadows’ semi-improvised style may shock anybody expecting polished Downtonisms, but he’s tremendous on community, and how people bond over a common cause. Between trippy glimpses of horned “stag men” (seen grooving in Bond-girl silhouette under the end credits), these three hours set the present in vibrant, funny, instructive conversation with the past. More please, BBC—even if you have to clip a few coins of your own to fund it.

Retro Pick:

ThisisEngland‘86/’88/’90(Channel4) Meadows’ bruising, hilarious spin-offs about life in Margaret Thatcher’s Britain remain streamable on C4’s catch-up service, alongside the original 2007 film.

by Mike McCahill

Yussef Dayes

Black Classical Music

in tHe words of Nina Simone, “To most white people, jazz means black and jazz means dirt and that’s not what I play. I play black classical music.” Jazz, for some of its most famous creators—like Simone, Herbie Hancock, Miles Davis and Rahsaan Roland Kirk— was a racialised descriptor, which kept its music trapped within a certain time and place, unlike the comparatively universalised Western classical music. Rejecting the term, ironically, reinforced the freedom, expansiveness and global reach that the genre represents.

The newest entrant to this music lineage is Yussef Dayes, the drummer who has become one of the most recognisable faces in London’s jazz revival, with his much anticipated debut album, Black Classical Music. Dayes’ interpretation of the black classical canon is typically loose, traversing through Latin percussion (“Afro Cubanism”), reggae (“Pin Di Plaza”) and jazz funk (“Jukebox”) to draw intricate paths through the diaspora that underpins America’s jazz and blues movement.

The past and future converge throughout the record, with strings blending into time-warping, wobbling synths on “Turquoise Galaxy” and the high pitched baby babble of Dayes’ daughter Bahia evoking a primordial innocence on “The Light”. The result is a collapse of jazz music’s temporality, at once Afrofuturist and ancient, free flowing through time and space yet still kept in check by Dayes’ taut drum licks. As a compendium of his career to date, you couldn’t get much more comprehensive.

By Becca Inglis

The Pretenders Relentless

“We don’t have to fade to black,” goes Chrissie Hynde’s cry, her punk pixie persona as much intact on The Pretenders’ track “Let The Sun Come In” as it was when she first formed the band more than 40 years ago. Between the defiant jangly rock of “A Love”, raucous riffs of “Losing My Sense of Taste” and the gently regretful closer “I Think About You Daily”, Hynde still stands out as one of the most distinctive voices in punk—capable of staring down entreaties to slow down as the years march by, while delving in to the bittersweet memories that her senior years have collected. It’s testament to Hynde’s dynamism as frontwoman (and to resident guitarist James Walbourne’s swaggering chords) that the veteran rock band continue to sound fresh.

September Fiction

A rich novel about the rocky relationship of a young woman and her mother is our fiction pick of the month

TheWren,TheWren

by Anne Enright (Cape, £18.99)

Maybe it’s just because I’m a bloke—although I like to think it isn’t— but one type of novel I’ve begun to find a bit tiresome is the type whose essential message is that women are great. Not (of course!) that this is a message I disagree with. The trouble is that such novels generally feel not just predictable but strangely needy, as if they’re almost begging for reassurance.

It was, then, with some dismay that I read on the jacket that the new novel by Anne Enright—one of Ireland’s best living authors—is “a testament to the glorious resilience of women”. Surely

James Walton is a book reviewer and broadcaster, and has written and presented 17 series of the BBC Radio 4 literary quiz

The Write Stuff

she too hadn’t gone for something so banal? Well, as luck would have it, I needn’t have worried, because the book itself is far richer and more interesting than that.

The first section is narrated by Nell, who’s drifting through Dublin and her early twenties in a haze of booze, unsatisfying jobs and dodgy flats. She also has a troubled relationship with her mother Carmel, based on a mutual combination of love and exasperation, which the book captures in a beautifully matter-of-fact, even semi-amused tone. The same applies to a smitten Nell’s onoff romance with the obviously unsuitable Felim.

We then move to a section about Carmel’s early life that goes quite a long

way to explain how both women have ended up as they have—which on the whole is seeking male approval while wishing they didn’t. At the heart of this dilemma is Carmel’s late father Phil, a successful poet whose fame and charisma apparently allowed him to get away with doing whatever the heck he liked.

Enright traces the resulting damage with clear-eyed skill and the odd touch of anger, but mainly with a rueful wisdom that’s accepting of Carmel and Nell’s frailties, but never so sentimental as to make either of them entirely blameless—or to underplay the damage they cause in their turn. By the end, the two do come to a hesitant and touching accommodation with each other. Even so, to describe this subtle and unsparing novel as a “testament to the glorious resilience of women”, you really would have to be a blurb writer. n

Name the character

Can you guess the fictional character from these clues (and, of course, the fewer you need the better)?

1. Her nephew is a “well-known author” called Raymond West.

2. She has the same first name as the literary character who was a governess at Thornfield Hall.

3. She lives in the fictional village of St Mary Mead.

Answer on p140

Paperbacks

AHeartThatWorks by Rob Delaney (Coronet, £10.99). The comedian and star of TV sitcom Catastrophe writes about the tragic death of his two-year-old son with harrowing honesty—and sometimes even dark humour.

Bourneville by Jonathan Coe (Penguin, £9.99). Four generations of a Birmingham family take us from VE Day to COVID in Coe’s marvellously readable state-of-thenation novel.

TheAccidentalDetectorist by Nigel Richardson (Cassell, £10.99). With his career as a (terrific) travel writer stalled by lockdown, Richardson discovers—and winningly communicates—the joys of metal detecting.

ReallyGood,Actually by Monica Heisey (Fourth Estate, £9.99).

Blackly comic novel about a young, recently married Canadian woman already contemplating divorce. The book is also punctuated by her Google searches (“skin looks grey”).

BlurbYourEnthusiasmby Louise Willder (Oneworld, £9.99). Funny and anecdote-crammed history of the art of the book blurb. You’ll definitely never read book jackets the same way again.

RECOMMENDED READ:

Reality Bites

Jacques Peretti draws back the curtain to tell us about the ugly truth of the business model behind reality TV shows

Like many of us, Jacques Peretti finds reality TV hard to resist. But, as this distinctly alarming book makes clear, that’s part of the problem. At heart, we may know that everything we’re seeing has been carefully constructed for our entertainment and/or titillation. Yet we’re still willing to buy into the idea that the makers have simply pointed their cameras at things that would have happened anyway.

more horrifying still is how foreseeable the damage is, given the way the makers behave.

So, you might be thinking, where’s the harm? Or at least you might be before you read on—because, for all his professed fandom, Peretti certainly doesn’t spare us the business’s ugly side. Reality TV, he says, has led to around 40 suicides and left scores of people with serious mental-health problems.

The book brings us several of these stories. Nonetheless, what’s perhaps

Most of the shows do employ psychologists and even private detectives to find out about the participants. Often, though, this is not to protect them—but to spice up what takes place on screen. According to Peretti, “putting the violent with those recovering from violence, people who’ve been abused with the abusive” are not “failings of reality TV”. Instead, they’re part of the business model. After all, “conflict means more viewers and more viewers means more money”.

Not that the participants, especially the celebrity ones, are always innocent. Here, for example, is the backstory of Keeping Up With the Kardashians—when Mrs K realised her daughter Kim was making an impact as Paris Hilton’s

assistant on another huge reality show, The Simple Life. Noting the success of The Osbournes, she decided it was time to contact TV producer Ryan Seacrest…

“The Kardashians were already part of Hollywood royalty: very rich, albeit practically unknown to the public. Kris Kardashian was Kim’s mother but, like Sharon Osbourne, the real power behind the family throne. A ‘momager’. She spotted a business opportunity for the whole family in the fascination generated by Kim in The Simple Life. So Kris pitched the idea of her entire family as a show to Ryan Seacrest. Watching the trailer for season one of Keeping Up With the Kardashians now, it’s cute. The family is waiting to take part in a photo shoot, with kooky music introducing the characters you’re going to come to love…and love to hate. Khloe, who looks tough; Kourtney, who’s a bit annoying; Caitlyn, hanging around

sweetly in the background, looking bemused; two teen sisters called Kylie and Kendall making gang signs a little inappropriately; a bloke called Rob, who looks clueless; Kris, of course (the all-powerful matriarch). And then a cry from the group for the one daughter who hasn’t even bothered to turn up: ‘Where’s Kim!?’ (Kim, it will transpire, is always late.) It’s clear from the very start that Kim is the star.

Ryan Seacrest has set himself a challenge: take a family that, essentially, no one outside Beverly Hills has heard of, and turn them into the most famous family on Earth. Then make their most onbrand daughter—Kim—a template for all successful businesswomen.

Television

Peretti

But there was a problem: no one wanted it. ‘Who’d care about Keeping Up With the Kardashians ?’ network heads asked. The show had nothing to mark out this particular rich family from the sea of other celebrity-led reality shows spreading across our channels. Sure, they’d be nice, go designer shopping on Rodeo Drive, bicker occasionally round the pool and make up. It was all a bit ‘meh’.

Then comes the breakthrough. The thing that makes the show huge. A watershed reality-TV moment that, depending on your viewpoint, is either a grand conspiracy of JFK grassy-knoll proportions, ushering in a cynical age of ‘post-truth’, or

simply a clever homage to that ageold Hollywood adage: nothing sells like a scandal. A 2003 sex tape of Kim with her then boyfriend Ray J mysteriously resurfaces in 2007 at the very moment the future of Keeping Up With the Kardashians hangs in the balance.

The timing of this unearthing of this bombshell is either: a) the result of tenacious muck-raking by journalists or b) something more sinister and calculated. Kim’s ex-boyfriend Ray J says that Kris Kardashian, Kim’s mother, leaked the sex tape of her own daughter to get Keeping Up With the Kardashians the publicity it craved to become a hit. Did she? We will never know. But one outcome of the global publicity the sex tape generated was for sure: Keeping Up With the Kardashians was suddenly the show to watch, and Kim our new idol. No longer Paris Hilton’s assistant, her and her immaculate hair broke the internet every time she posted a selfie.

”Answer to Name the Character:

Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple, who shares her first name with governess Jane Eyre—and who first appeared in a 1930 book, with a very Christie title: The Murder at the Vicarage.

5

More Great Books About Television

RadioTimesGuidetoTVComedy by Mark Lewisohn. Thoughtful as well as astonishingly comprehensive assessment—from 2003—of every comedy show that had ever been shown on British television to that point. Hours of happy, nostalgic browsing guaranteed.

PlayAll by Clive James. The greatest TV critic of them all works his way through the biggest box-set drama series of the 21st century, remaining as illuminating and funny as ever.

LifeonAir by David Attenborough. From introducing colour television in the UK as the head of BBC2 to revolutionising the wildlife documentary: David Attenborough looks back on more than 60 years in the industry.

AmusingOurselvestoDeath by Neil Postman. How TV news has turned politics (and virtually everything else that should be serious) into a branch of showbiz.

DearFatty by Dawn French. A full autobiography, but one that includes plenty of backstage revelations about her TV shows French and Saunders and TheVicarofDibley.

Books

THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

Barbara Kingsolver is a Pulitzer Prize-winning US author. Her new book, Demon Copperhead (winner of the Fiction award in the Indie Book Awards 2023), is out now, published by Faber

Little Women, Louisa May Alcott I read this book in the back of a car. I must have been in third or fourth grade, and my parents were taking us on a rare holiday. They put us in the back of the estate car and expected us to be quiet for as long as it took to drive to the Grand Canyon. Luckily, I can read in moving vehicles, and I just disappeared into LittleWomen. That was my first experience of really losing myself in a novel.

The Children of Violence series by Doris Lessing This series of books rocked my world. They are novels connected by a main character, Martha Quest, and set in what was then called Rhodesia, where Lessing grew up. She was writing about sexism and racism in a time when those words weren’t really used yet. They had what was called the colour bar back then, and as far as sexism, it was just called life. Nobody was remarking on it. But these books were about these big, universal themes that I was feeling so powerfully in my own life. It was what I saw in my little town. There were these claustrophobic limitations on what women could aspire to, and my town was segregated. It was a revelation to me that fiction could be about these things that everyone in the world should be thinking about. That larger purpose of fiction was revealed to me through these books.

Cannery Row, John Steinbeck I always loved to read, and I kept a journal since I was eight. As a young adult I wrote poetry and stories which I did not show to anybody. But I did not think I could be a writer. In my small town, my small world, it just didn’t seem possible. I thought, Idon’t knowanyoneimportant. Ijustknow regular,ordinarypeople.Youcan’t writeaboutthat. And then a book fell into my hands that was this exquisite novel about this funny ragtag group of ordinary people living in an ordinary place. It was like the scales fell from my eyes. It showed me fiction doesn’t have to be about famous people or heroic lives.

Visions Of The FUTURE

How the Vision Pro could be as big as the iPhone

BY James O'Malley

Somehow, it is now 16 years since Apple CEO Steve Jobs first unveiled the iPhone. It’s strange to imagine now, but at the time a lot of people were sceptical about it ever being a success. What about the lack of buttons to press? And why would you need a computer in your pocket anyway?

But today, with the benefit of hindsight, we can look back on what a revolution it was. Today, our phones are the most important devices in our lives and we use them for, well, almost everything.

But Apple is not resting easy on this success and recently announced

what could—if the evangelists are to be believed—one day be the next big tech revolution.

It’s called the “Vision Pro”, and it is a headset that will let you do many of the things you do on a phone—but instead by wearing what is essentially a pair of smart glasses.

The way it works is that, instead of lenses, in front of your eyes are a couple of screens, and then on the outside of the glasses (which are more like heavy-duty goggles), there are cameras that relay images from the outside world into your vision. To you, the wearer, it looks as though you’re just existing normally in the world, but now Apple can add information digitally on top of the world around you.

The way it works is that instead of lenses, in front of your eyes the Vision Pro has a couple of screens

down the pitch and have it appear as though the match is playing out on the table in front of you, as if it was a game of Subbuteo. Or you’ll be able to blow up the game to have it feel like you’re sitting pitchside in the stadium, with the headset immersing you by making it so that when you turn your head, it’s like looking around the actual stadium.

So functionally, it works a bit like having a big, semi-transparent iPad floating in front of your face, and just like an iPad you can browse the web, make calls, and use apps, all without needing to hold anything in your hands.

Then there are some smart features that only an allencompassing headset can do. It’ll be able to seamlessly interact with the world around you. For example, perhaps when watching a football match, it might be possible to shrink

Sure, it sounds pretty crazy—but these sorts of ideas, and indeed, headsets have been bubbling around for some time, a bit like how before the iPhone it was possible to buy Nokias and Ericssons where you could check your email. But now that Apple is getting involved, it has the heft to make this sort of technology go mainstream.

What I think is most impressive about the Vision Pro though is that, on appearances at least, Apple has really carefully thought about how such a device might work in the "real" world.

James is a technology writer and journalist. A former editor of tech website Gizmodo UK, James can be found mostly on Twitter posting jokes of variable quality @Psythor

Apple chief executive Tim Cook unveiling the company's Vision Pro headsets

WHEN PRICES TUMBLE, HEADSETS MIGHT BECOME

SOMETHING WE ALL USE

For example, how do you control it if there’s no screen to touch? Earlier headsets have required the user to carry around a clunky controller in their hand. But Apple has instead figured out how to use a camera on the inside of the Vision Pro to track your eyes, and another camera on the outside to track your hands. This means all you need to do is look at whatever button or icon you want to press, and then to select it, pinch your fingers.

Then there’s the problem of how wearing a computer on your face, covering your eyes, is almost intrinsically weird and antisocial. Are you really going to get back from work, pop on your headset and ignore your spouse all evening?

And that’s why Apple has built another screen into the Vision Pro. This one faces outwards, and is designed to simply display your eyes,

captured by the cameras on the inside. It means that if you’re talking to someone, it’s still possible to maintain eye contact—and for them to tell when you’re not really listening to them, and have been distracted by something on the screen in front of you.

When it launches next year, I think there’s a chance that the Vision Pro could be the start of the next big thing. The only downside is the hefty price tag—which is going to be an eye-watering $3,500, or just over £3,000.

But give it a few years, when just like with smartphones, prices will tumble. Headsets might move from something only tech-experts and specialists use to something that we all use in our everyday lives. And then one day we’ll realise that the next big thing has been staring us in the face all along. n

Ask The Tech Expert

James O'Malley

Q: My email inbox is overloaded. What can I do? Please help! - Chris

There’s nothing worse than an overflowing inbox—and the suspicion that you might have missed something important somewhere in the piles of notifications, newsletters and spam. Here are some quick tips to help fix it.

1. Follow the two minute rule This is going to sound crazy, but if you receive an email and you think it will take less than two minutes to respond…just do it. It’s very tempting to leave it in your inbox to fester, but if you can develop the habit of actually responding quickly, everyone wins. You get that email out of your to-do list, and the sender gets the response they need.

2. Unsubscribe If your inbox is clogged up with newsletters and other automated emails then you can get rid of most of them with relative ease. By law, the companies that send them must include an “unsubscribe” button that will take you off the mailing list. Usually, this is buried somewhere towards the bottom of the email. You can always block the sender from contacting you too.

by Daniel Garcia

3. Automatic filters Check out your email app’s filtering options, where you can create “rules” to automatically route your emails to the right places. For example, if there’s a newsletter you like, you can have it automatically sent to a folder, rather than have it stored in your main inbox. Or you could have your email app automatically file away and archive receipts from online stores.

4. Scheduling replies Just when you think you’ve cleared your inbox and can put your head down and do some work, ping! They’ve already got back to you. What a nightmare. This is where a feature found in many email apps, like Gmail, comes in. Instead of sending your response right away, you can schedule the time you want it to send, meaning there’s no risk of a response landing until after you say so.

5. Snoozing It won’t make it go away forever, but Outlook and Gmail both include a “Snooze” feature that will hide away an email until you choose. So there’s no risk of stumbling on to a work email and spoiling your weekend. n

Email your tech questions for James to readersletters@readersdigest. co.uk

illustration

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Can you find all the flowers and plants in our wordsearch grid? One of them cannot be found and will be your prize answer. Words can run in straight lines in any direction, cross them off as you find them – simply write the missing word you have remaining on the entry form or enter online. See page 151.

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Bitten By The Dance Bug

BY Richard Glover

My exercise regiMen now includes 40 minutes of vigorous dance in the kitchen just before bedtime. I leap into the air like a youthful Nureyev, performing a grand jeté to the left and then one to the right. Next it’s tap work, madly

stamping the ground like a frenzied Fred Astaire.

The cause is a double insect infestation. Pantry moths fill the air; cockroaches scurry across every surface. Both are common here in Australia, particularly during summer. I’m determined to win my battle.

I say the cockroaches “scurry,” but that’s not the right word. Rather, it’s a brisk, purposeful walk. They have no fear; they own this place. From the dignified manner of their perambulation, I assume they’ve already contacted my bank and taken over the mortgage.

I have tried traps, of course, which the cockroaches regard as mobile housing, dotted around the place for

their convenience. I have tried insecticide, which has a worse effect on me than on them. There are so many cockroaches, I wonder if they’d mind fetching my asthma inhaler from my bedroom drawer before I spray.

More recently, I’ve considered contacting Kim Jong-un and arranging a nuclear strike, but I’ve heard cockroaches can survive that, as well.

The pantry moths are also oblivious to products that promise their eradication. Chief among them is the moth trap—essentially a sheet of sticky paper impregnated with female pheromones. It’s like an insect version of a nightclub.

The problem: while it works on 95 per cent of the males, the ones that survive and breed with the females are, of course, the strongest ones. My pantry is now home to accelerated evolution. Wait three weeks and the moths will be the size of bats. Wait three months and you’ll open the door to be greeted by the dragons from Game of Thrones.

And so I’m left with my dance routine. I pluck the pantry moths from the air with my hands; the cockroaches I dispatch with my feet.

For reasons that are unclear, the insect infestation is my fault. Or at least my responsibility. “It’s repulsive,” says my wife, Jocasta. “When are you going to do something about it?”.

She means: “When are you going to hire a real man to solve the problem?”.

In fact, I’ve already called a real man, a professional pest controller, only to be told a visit will cost $365. It’s a figure that instantly brought new energy to my dance moves. I’m now more like Mikhail Baryshnikov with a side order of Jackie Chan, leaping from one side of the kitchen to another, a flying machine of death. I go to bed each night panting with exhaustion and calculating the bugs’ nightly losses against the breeding that will inevitably occur overnight.

Female cockroaches can produce eight egg capsules in a lifetime, each holding as many as 40 eggs. How many is that? Just multiply eight and 40 and you’ll get the answer: eww! Actually, that’s nothing compared to a female pantry moth, which lays 400 eggs at a time. They take as little as seven days to hatch. This is too much, even for Baryshnikov. I’ll need a whole corps de ballet.

Apparently the pantry moth smuggles itself into your home through your shopping, so by freezing all your dry goods, you can kill off the eggs. Not so practical, though. Worse, who knew that flour, rice, almond meal and the rest of it are full of moth eggs? I never want to eat anything ever again.

The only thing I can do is wait. Maybe Kim Jong-un will destroy all life on the planet, proving science wrong by killing the cockroaches, too. Or maybe I’ll get over my reluctance to spend $365.

That’s unlikely. So wish me luck. n

SANDWICH

What five-letter word belongs between the word on the left and the word on the right, so that the first and second word, and the second and third word, each form a common compound word or phrase?

Email excerpts@readersdigest.co.uk

Win £30 for your true, funny stories!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

When on holiday in Brussels, my partner and I spotted an Italian restaurant with a billboard outside boasting “free margaritas with every pizza”. Fans of a cocktail or two, we thought this was an offer too good to turn down.

We sat down and ordered our pizzas, and when the waiter asked for our drink order we said, “We’ll just have the free margaritas please.” He walked away looking confused, but we waited to see what would happen. Our food arrived, but no drinks. No big deal, we thought. We’ve clearly misunderstood the offer, oh well. We finished our meal and asked for the bill, at which point an exasperated chef appeared from the kitchen with our bill…and two margherita pizzas.

The penny dropped—it had been a “buy-one-get-one-free” offer that we’d misread. We took our bonus pizzas away with us and handed them over to homeless people we

passed on the walk home. Oh well, they’d been delicious!

ADAM BRABBIN, Atherton

My grandson was at the home of a daughter of mine. During the evening there was a tap on the front window. It was a delivery. Afterwards he told my daughter that they don’t ring the doorbell in the evening in case someone is asleep.

She said, “Oh. You learn something new every day!”.

He thought for a minute or so then asked her, “What did you learn yesterday?”.

LUCY PESARO, West London

My dad is in his eighties, but likes to think of himself as a man of the world, up-to-date with all the latest news.

“What do you think about all this stuff they’re saying about the A1?” he asked me.

I had no idea what he was on about. I’d travelled up the A1 but that was about it.

“They’re saying it’s going to take over the world,” he stated.

“The A1?” I spluttered.

“Yes,” he said, looking at me as if I was mad.

It was then I realised he meant AI…

ESTHER CHILTON, Nottinghamshire

One weekend when I was a young medical student I had a sore throat and so did my friend. We went

"HE DOESN'T TRAVEL WELL WITH OTHER

PEOPLE…"

to casualty and decided to take our temperatures.

We each took a thermometer from a jar of disinfectant on a shelf to put in our mouths. My temperature was slightly raised and so was my friend's.

We put the thermometers for a minute under the tap then looked at the jars on the shelf. One was labelled oral and the other rectal. Which one came from which jar?

RHODA PIPPEN,

Cardiff

I really felt my age when a young friend was enthusing about the music coming from "some kind of antique thing" he'd seen at a car boot sale.

He described it as being like a giant CD but going round and round. Fortunately he'd taken a photograph and I was able to identify it as an LP on the stall holder's record player.

MAGGIE COBBETT, Ripon

cartoon by Guto Dias

Word Power

Centuries of trade between Middle Eastern and European merchants brought more than silks and spices to the West. Find out how many of these English words of Arabic origin are in your vocabulary

BY LINDA BESNER

1. lapis lazuli—A: breed of softhaired rabbit. B: gem-carving technique. C: bright blue mineral.

2. bezoar—A: wild boar.

B: hard mass in a stomach.

C: navigational star chart.

3. adobe—A: flour-based glue.

B: sun-dried bricks.

C: political advisor.

4. mecca—A: place that attracts people. B: clay cooking pot.

C: magnetic north.

5. carmine—A: woven satchel.

B: vivid red. C: youthful prince.

6. albatross—A: oceanic bird of the family Diomedeidae.

B: saltwater fish species.

C: song lamenting the fall of a city.

7. loofah—A: incense holder.

B: dried fruit used as a bath sponge.

C: cinnamon toothpaste.

8. alcove—A: footstool.

B: fragrant spice. C: recessed area.

9. azimuth—A: military officer who leads a squad. B: political deadlock. C: direction of a celestial body from the observer.

10. cipher—A: coded messaging. B: gambling strategy.

C: freshwater dolphin.

11. julep—A: citrus drink. B: syrupy drink. C: yoghurt drink.

12. calipers—A: instrument with two legs that measures dimensions. B: hereditary religious leaders in Syria. C: proportions of precious metals in an alloy.

13. alkaline—A: dark eyeliner made from wax. B: substance containing a low concentration of hydrogen ions.

C: pointed nose.

14. arsenal—A: person who sets fires. B: deadly poison. C: store of weapons.

15. damask—A: twilight hour. B: woven fabric with a reversible pattern. C: Persian Gulf sailing vessel.

Answers

1. lapis lazuli—[C] bright blue mineral; Yvonne’s necklace caught the eye with lapis lazuli stones.

2. bezoar—[B] hard mass in a stomach; The veterinarian found the bezoar that had been causing José’s dog such pain.

3. adobe—[B] sun-dried bricks; Some of the streets in Timimoun, Algeria, are lined with adobe houses.

4. mecca—[A] place that attracts people; Some Muslims take an annual trip to Mecca, the city where Muhammad was born, and some culture lovers take an annual trip to New York City, a mecca for the arts.

5. carmine—[B] vivid red; In spring, Jasmeen’s garden is full of beautiful carmine tulips.

6. albatross—[A] oceanic bird of the family Diomedeidae; The poem “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” tells of a curse brought about when a sailor kills an albatross.

7. loofah—[B] dried fruit used as a bath sponge; Harry’s bathroom was stocked with fresh towels, a silk dressing gown and a loofah.

8. alcove—[C] recessed area; A marble bust of Beethoven sat in an alcove in the living room.

9. azimuth—[C] direction of a celestial body from the observer; For

a solar panel to generate maximal energy, it should be positioned to take the sun’s azimuth into account.

10. cipher—[A] coded messaging; Many ciphers were created for the US military during the Second World War, but the Navajo language proved one of their best methods of secret communication.

11. julep—[B] syrupy drink; The mint julep is the signature cocktail of the Kentucky Derby.

12. calipers—[A] instrument with two legs that measures dimensions; While renovating the kitchen, Jillian used calipers to determine the size of her tiles.

13. alkaline—[B] containing a low concentration of hydrogen ions; A solution with a pH higher than seven is said to be alkaline, or basic.

14. arsenal—[C] store of weapons; Nine countries in the world possess known nuclear arsenals.

15. damask—[B] woven fabric with a reversible pattern; For the French doors, the decorator chose damask curtains that would photograph well from either side.

VOCABULARY RATINGS

7–10: fair 11–12: good 13–15: excellent

Reader’s Digest Competitions –

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Four-Part Harmony

Medium Can you divide this shape into four identical pieces by cutting on the dotted lines? The resulting pieces can be rotated but not flipped.

Brain GAMES

Sharpen Your Mind

Jungle Walk

Medium Cami, Joey, Sonya and Tim are walking single file through the jungle along a narrow path. Each hopes to spot a particular animal (iguana, monkey, sloth, toucan) and is carrying a specific item (binoculars, camera, compass, sketchpad). Using the following clues, what order are they walking in, what is Tim carrying, and what animal does Sonya hope to see?

1. The person who is first is looking for a toucan with their own binoculars.

2. The person who wants a picture of a monkey for their Instagram account is not in the middle.

3. The person who wants to see an iguana cannot draw.

4. Cami has already seen lots

of iguanas and sloths so she’s looking for something else.

5. Sonya is right behind the leader with her sketchpad at the ready.

6. Joey thinks toucans are amazing but is hoping to see a different animal.

7. Tim is using his compass so they don’t get lost.

Divide and Conquer

Easy Remove one of these five digits so that the sum of the remaining four can be evenly divided by the eliminated digit.

3 4 5 6 7

What’s Cooking?

Medium

Danielle and Rosana are writing a cookbook together. Danielle provides 70% of the recipes and Rosana contributes the rest. If Danielle has 20 more recipes in the cookbook than Rosana, how many recipes are there in total?

Well Connected

Difficult Starting on any hexagon, visit all the other hexagons and get back where you started without reusing a bridge in this diagram. You can only use three different types of bridges to complete your task. Which three types do you need (the bridge types are colour-coded and given distinct ends to assist you)?

For answers, turn to PAGE 155

3 Very evil (7)

8 Feeling of guilt (6)

9 Norway's "Tiger City" (4)

10 Statute (3)

11 Like a shirt or guitar (8)

12 A long way off (4)

16 Save a bit (3,4)

19 Second married name of a former US President's wife (7)

20 And outs (3)

21 American ornithologist and artist (7)

23 Spicy Spanish banger (7)

24 Civil aeronautics overseer (1,1,1)

25 Unsettled (2,5)

26 Governments in power (7)

30 World-beating writer who was also a Second World War fighter pilot (4)

34 Old records (8)

36 Type of raid (3)

37 Neck and neck (4)

38 Calculate (6)

39 Indignity (7)

DOWN

1 Global women's empowerment organisation (1,1,1,1)

2 How some suspects are released (2,4)

3 Refuses to admit (6)

4 Financial wherewithal (5)

5 Military partnership (1,1,1,1)

6 Fizzy drink (4)

7 Napoleon escaped from here (4)

11 All over the shop (9)

13 Totalitarian type of government (7)

14 Presses on in chaos to get answers (9)

15 Pudding sounds like a way to start something (4)

17 European Jewish vernacular (7)

18 Because (5)

19 Richard's Sound of Music collaborator (5)

22 Defeat (4)

27 An accompanist, perhaps? (6)

28 Foolishness (6)

29 Cuban dance (5)

31 Ugandan despot (4)

32 "--- and the Swan" (Greek mythology) (4)

33 Faculty senior, in short (4)

35 Cupid (4)

BY Louis-Luc Beaudoin SUDOKU

5 7 8 6 1 9 8 4 7 9 4 7 6 3 6 4 2 3 1 8 6 5 2 3 5 1 9 8

To Solve This Puzzle

Put a number from 1 to 9 in each empty square so that:

Every horizontal row and vertical column contains all nine numbers (1-9) without repeating any of them;

Each of the outlined 3 x 3 boxes has all nine numbers, none repeated.

BRAIN GAMES ANSWERS

PAGE

Four-Part Harmony

Jungle Walk

Walking order, first to last: Cami, Sonya, Tim, Joey. Tim is carrying the compass, and Sonya wants to see a sloth.

Divide and Conquer 5.

What’s Cooking?

50 recipes. Danielle provides 70% of the recipes and Rosana provides 30%. The difference is 40%, which is 20 recipes. If 40% is 20 recipes, then 100% is 50 recipes.

Well Connected

Laugh!

WIN £30 for the reader’s joke we publish!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

I’m terrified of lifts. I’m going to take steps to avoid them.

CHORTLE.CO.UK

Enjoying the tennis although I don’t really understand why there’s a lifeguard.

MUTABLE JOE (@MUTABLEJOE)

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

ERIKA MACK (@YEEEERIKA)

I’m sorry but you can’t attend a clown convention and not expect to tread on a few toes.

MOOSE ALLAIN (@MOOSEALLAIN)

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

CHORTLE.CO.UK

I’m making a TV series about the different parts of my gas cooker I’ve already filmed the pilot.

OLAF FALAFEL (@OFALAFEL)

You can make a catchy beat using a snare drum.

JASON (@NICKMOTOWN)

I just read that Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back. It must have been difficult reaching the bit between his shoulders.

GLENNY RODGE (@GLENNYRODGE)

I’m looking for someone to teach me how to prepare desserts. I’m free most days but can’t make sundaes.

JOANNE

CAMPBELL, Co. Antrim, Northern Ireland

ASK A COMEDIAN

Chris Grace

Known for the sitcom Superstore, he’s set to appear at three Fringe shows—ChrisGraceasScarlettJohansson,Shamilton!and Baby WantsCandy. Ian Chaddock asks about his funniest experiences…

What stand up/comedy film stands out as making you fall in love with comedy? A Fish Called Wanda. I was gobsmacked by how funny Jamie Lee Curtis, John Cleese, Michael Palin and Kevin Kline were, and all in different ways. An engaging story, brilliant dialogue, incredible physical comedy; I was completely inspired. I wore the tape out on that film. And yes, I watched it on videotape.

What do you remember about your first time doing live comedy? I remember the sensation of causing laughter without having a clue why, or how I’d ever manage to do it again. I always felt I could be funny, but it’s taken years to build the craft and awareness necessary to be able to do it reliably. I’m lucky to be able to perform at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe in a solo comedy show, improv and stand up. I’ll be able to flex my muscles in three different ways to make people giggle.

What’s the weirdest heckle you’ve ever heard and how did you reply? I have a gag based on a real incident where someone said that I was the spitting image of Ken Jeong (who I definitely do not look like). While I was recounting this story, someone in the crowd yelled, “You do look like him though.” Now when I tell the joke, I also include the second guy repeating the same daft thing. I just hope no one heckles me during this extended version or the joke is going to get even longer.

What’s the most hilarious thing to have ever happened to you? My inaugural year at Fringe, upon moving into our flat for the month, my friend Ashley Ward and I were confronted by two fat, aggressive pigeons that had got into the hall through an open window. We tried to calmly encourage them to fly out of the window; this did not go well as they flew directly towards

us, causing Ashley to shriek and for me to fall to the floor in a fit of nervous giggles. Eventually, Ashley managed to shoo them out the window while I was still on the floor in stitches, utterly useless.

What has been your most funny live show experience and why? It’s nigh impossible to beat a Baby Wants Candy show about five years ago when a woman in the audience was attending the show with a newborn baby. Upon hearing him coo and cry, we couldn’t help but ask: “Can we hold him?”. She handed her newborn infant to us on stage to become an extra cast member. Everything that baby did was hilarious, and everything we said in response got a huge laugh.

What’s your new stand-up show about? It’s a comic homage to Scarlett Johansson. Scarlett has been in some of my favourite films of all time and has also made some of the most baffling career choices in our modern era. I gently interrogate those decisions while celebrating her career. Also, people get us mixed up all the time so it’s a natural comparison.

ChrisGraceissettoplayarunofshowsat Edinburgh’sAssemblyforEdinburghFestival FringefromAugust2-27

and Baguettes in Unusual Places on Instagram

CROSSWORD ANSWERS

Across: 3 Demonic, 8 Twinge, 9 Oslo, 10 Act, 11 Hawaiian, 12 Afar, 16 Pay less, 19 Onassis, 20 Ins, 21 Audubon, 23 Chorizo, 24 C A A, 25 At issue, 26 Regimes, 30 Dahl, 34 Archives, 36 Ram, 37 Tied, 38 Reckon, 39 Affront.

Down: 1 Y W C A, 2 On bail, 3 Denies, 4 Means, 5 N A T O, 6 Cola, 7 Elba, 11 Haphazard, 13 Fascism, 14 Responses, 15 Sago, 17 Yiddish, 18 Since, 19 Oscar, 22 Best, 27 Escort, 28 Idiocy, 29 Mambo, 31 Amin, 32 Leda, 33 Prof, 35 Eros.

THESE PHOTOS SHOW BAGUETTES IN FUNNY PLACES Via boredpanda.com

Beat the Cartoonist!

Think of a witty caption for this cartoon—the three best suggestions, along with the cartoonist’s original, will be posted on our website in mid-SEPTEMBER. If your entry gets the most votes, you’ll win £50. Submit to captions@readersdigest.co.uk by SEPTEMBER 7. We’ll announce the winner in our November issue.

JULY WINNER

Our cartoonist’s caption, “It may seem extreme, but it’s all part of our energy mix”, failed to beat our reader Sheridan Leigh, who won the vote with, “All this hot weather is giving me problems with my wind.”

Congratulations, Sheridan!

IN THE OCTOBER ISSUE

John Goodman

The US screen legend on work ethic, family, and conquering his demons

I REMEMBER…

Chris Hadfield

The former astronaut looks back on his life and remarkable career

LIKE A PRAYER

The art of Japanese ema—wooden prayer plaques adorning the country’s many shrines

cartoons by Royston Robertson

GOOD

NEWS from around the World

Four children survived 40 days lost in the

Amazon rainforest

It’s most people’s nightmare: surviving a plane crash only to be stranded in a jungle with no way of contacting the outside world. But this was reality for four Colombian children, and in an incredible story of resilience, they survived.

The children, aged 13, nine and four, as well as an 11-month-old baby, were flying with their mother from their village in the Amazon to visit their father in San José del Guaviare. The single-engine Cessna on which they were flying experienced engine problems and disappeared on May 1, 2023. Bad weather prevented the army from finding the crash site for two weeks, where they then found the dead bodies of three adults, including the children’s mother.

How did these children survive conditions that would be an unimaginable struggle for most adults? They are members of the Huitoto Indigenous group and were raised in the jungle. As such, they have an intimate understanding of the rainforest. They know which fruits are safe to eat and which plants should be avoided. Working with, rather than against, the Amazon, they survived off of juan soco (a fruit similar to passion fruit) and seeds, while feeding the baby water mixed with yucca flour that they found on the plane.

While the children got on with the business of surviving, the Colombian army worked with Indigenous volunteers to find them. After 40 days of searching, the children were found and taken to recover at a military hospital in Bogota.

While many around the world have taken this survival story to be a miracle, others point out that it is the result of an ancient and intimate knowledge of the rainforest that has been passed down through Indigenous communities over the generations. Indigenous tribes have a close relationship to the Amazon, marked by a deep respect for the forest that provides them with shelter and sustenance. It is their close connection to and understanding of the rainforest that undoubtedly helped the children to survive.

by Alice GAwthrop

1" (2.5cm) wide.

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My Daughter Forever Locket

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Daughter Forever Locket (MDFL)

Granddaughter Forever Locket (MGFL)

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I will pay by cheque or postal order. We will invoice you for the first instalment. SEND NO MONEY NOW

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