Reader's Digest UK Mar 2021

DAME OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN “I’m Grateful For Every Day”

6 RESTAURANTS THROUGH THE AGES Inside An Industry Built On Survival

On Modelling, Motherhood And Maturity KATE MOSS OF THE BEST MOVIES From The Sundance Film Festival

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Contents

Features

16 IT’S A MANN’S WORLD

What to do when your kid gets COVID-19? Olly Mann offers his first-hand account

ENTERTAINMENT

20 INTERVIEW: DAME

OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN

The star of Grease on her life in lockdown, family, and her battle with cancer

28

“I REMEMBER”: KATE MOSS

The British supermodel looks back on growing up in Croydon, getting discovered, and her life in the spotlight

HEALTH

38 KNOW YOUR BODY

Does your doctor always know what’s best for you? Ronny Maye’s story proves that’s not always the case

56 LONELY IN LOCKDOWN

Why maintaining social connections is more important than ever for your health

INSPIRE

74 RESTAURANT EVOLUTION

From revolutions to global pandemics, the restaurant is no stranger to the art of survival

82 MY DOG, THE WAR HERO

The heartwarming story of Dyngo, the military dog, settling back into civilian life

90 ICE ICE BABY

Meet the people whose idea of fun is a dip in freezing water

Open minded advances in healthcare from wellness innovators Medicaleaf

Over 200 million people in the UK and mainland Europe su er from debilitating chronic pain, seizures and sleeping disorders as well as an equal number of increasingly enlightened people who can appreciate the recuperative benefit of cannabinoids.

There is a clear movement away from the ‘traditional’ medical practitioners and pharmaceutical companies and we aim to provide trusted and licensed products that can be bought legally and administered safely.

Public awareness and open-mindedness towards alternative cures for lifelong conditions are growing; and the World Health Organization (WHO) reports research suggesting that CBD may have therapeutic benefits for many conditions, including:

Research is ongoing: clinical trials to test the e ectiveness of medicinal cannabis in all its forms will prove best use and lead to more government approved cannabis-based medicinal products (CBMPs) containing cannabidiol or (CBD), joining those such as Epidiolex, which is already available on prescription in the UK for the treatment of seizures caused by two severe forms of epilepsy: Lennox- Gastaut syndrome and Dravet syndrome. Medicaleaf™ was founded by a team of business leaders, marketing & technology experts, scientists, caregivers and advocates who are committed to producing safe, reliable products and promoting wellness from nature.

The widening interest in ‘wellness’ as an alternative, preventative lifestyle, particularly in

• Multiple sclerosis;

• Arthritis;

• Spinal cord injury;

• Epileptic seizures;

• Alzheimer’s disease;

• Parkinson’s disease;

• Huntington’s disease;

• Hypoxic-ischemic injury;

• Chronic and acute pain;

• Psychosis;

• Nausea;

• Inflammatory diseases;

• Rheumatoid arthritis;

• Inflammatory bowel disease;

• Cardiovascular disease; and

• Diabetic complications.

these times, fuels our fire. As an organisation, we are committed to creating a business that will assist in the alleviation of pain and su ering and collaboratively create products to assist in better wellbeing and healthier living.

Medicaleaf expects to see its valuation increase five fold before floatation in three years’ time. Medicaleaf is looking to complete their £10 million initial investment by the year end.

Capital raised will be invested in Product Manufacturing, Sales and Marketing campaigns and distribution infrastructure but will also be used for suitable acquisitions and joint ventures that will catapult the growth of the company in suitable strategic moves.

Find Out More about how you can get involved and profit from the £135B European Health and Wellbeing market. www.medicaleaf.org.uk

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Please use this link to register your interest now (with no commitment): goto.dsru.org/covid

Tel: 0800 619 6222

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In This Issue…

Have you ever visited your GP with a burning issue, certain that you’ll walk away with answers, only to leave feeling slightly deflated, that your issue hadn’t been taken seriously? We’re extremely lucky to have the NHS in this country, an army of heroes who wake up every day with the mission to heal complete strangers. But sometimes, unconscious biases can get in the way of people receiving the treatment that they need. Ronny Maye is an expert in this. As a Black, plus-size woman, she has often felt that the stigmas associated with her physical appearance have proven a barrier to getting the healthcare she needs. If this is a problem you’ve faced too, she’s here to help. On p38 she shares her top tips for selfadvocacy. You’ve only got one body. It’s important to fight for it.

It’s a well known fact that loneliness can be linked to countless mental and physical health conditions— even death. So how can we stay socially connected when meeting people is the riskiest thing you can do during a pandemic? On p56, we talk to health experts as well as people who have struggled with isolation, and round up practical tips on how to stave off loneliness.

Human contact is not the only thing we were deprived of by COVID-19; one of life’s simplest pleasures, eating out, is now also a distant memory. This last year has been a challenging time for the restaurant industry, and yet, numerous establishments are finding new, inventive ways of bringing their food to the customers’ tables. On p74, read all about the fascinating history of restaurant reinvention in times of crisis.

Anna Eva

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Over To You

LETTERS ON THE January ISSUE

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LETTER OF THE MONTH

I’ve been finding lockdown number three challenging as I’m sure many others are. I think, for me, the biggest challenge of all is feeling lonely. A lack of communication with other adults left me feeling rather low. I’m furloughed from my full-time job which is customer-focused. I’m used to talking to people all day so it is a strange feeling being home with only my young children for conversation. I went online to search for a magazine subscription, not really knowing what sort of magazine I might like. I wanted something that would be current, informative, with a variety of interesting articles. I came across Reader’s Digest, subscribed and it gave me free access to the online version of the January issue. While I wait for my first physical issue, I’m so glad I found you! It is a great issue. I love your mixture of content, fantastic articles, letters, jokes and puzzles too. This issue has kept me occupied for hours and put a smile back on my face. I’m looking forward to my ongoing subscription now. Thank you!

KERRIANN BRIGGS, Devon

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY

Angella Nazarian’s “If I Ruled The world,” was the perfect choice for the January Edition to guide us in our making of resolutions for the year ahead! We should all start 2021 by taking on board her suggestion to “commit to being happy.” How radical, and how ridiculous that it is so radical! Perhaps we should go the whole hog, and challenge ourselves to commit to being happy for the whole year (and in doing so kickstart a worthwhile, life-long, habit). Because surely this is the new year’s resolution of all new year’s resolutions?

And, if you’re feeling stuck, Nazarian has even provided a few useful pointers; travel (near and/ or far), spend more time with people of different generations, and be emphatic.

It’s so empowering to think 2021 could be our happiest year yet and that really, it’s so simple—all we have to do is choose to listen to our hearts and then follow them (although her suggestion to attend at least one “happiness course” wouldn’t go amiss either!).

JENNIE GARDNER, Bath

TOUCHY FEELY

I think many people would agree with Olly Mann’s take on January as a Christmas hangover, although, unlike Olly, I struggle to drum up enthusiasm for the fresh start of the new year. It tends to take a little while for me to move on and perhaps that’s something about nostalgia for the past and resisting the march of time and the ageing process!

EDUCATION, EDUCATION

Angella Nazarian made some insightful points in her “If I Ruled the World” article.

Don’t get me wrong—2020 was clearly a horror show and this time last year, my Australian wife, Bec, and I, naively thought that the year would be most remembered for the huge and scary bush fires that maimed the landscape, culled huge numbers of native animals and their habitats, destroyed homes, lives and came a little too close to Bec’s family for comfort. How wrong can you be?

I did love Olly’s lessons from 2020 and I think it was a year that gave us some absolute gems. But one thing that really chimed with me, was Olly’s third lesson—that massage is affordable. I wholeheartedly agree as my wife is a massage therapist! If ever asked what I’d do if I won the lottery, my younger self would say “I’d get a personal masseur”. And then I married one! She hasn’t been able to work much on strangers this year (she usually goes to offices to massage staff), but I have grudgingly allowed her to keep her skills sharp!

LISA

BEST, Cheshire

I particularly agreed with her comments on early child education putting stronger emphasis on compassion and empathy to others. What better learning could a young child have than to respect themselves and others around them?

In these days when religion is often in decline and many children do not have a stable and supportive home life, a knowledge of right and wrong and doing unto others as you would expect to be done to you is an essential lesson in life.

Starting children on the right path must surely lead to an improvement in behaviour. A grounding in compassion would give children increased self-esteem and respect for others and help towards a more considerate and accepting world.

MIA DUNLOP , Tyne and Wear

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For instance, all the Lifetime Mortgage products recommended by Reader’s Digest Equity Release come with a nonegative-equity guarantee which ensures you can never owe more than the value of your home and cannot pass on any Lifetime Mortgage debt. You are also not stuck in your current property if you decide to take out a Lifetime Mortgage, as some plans are portable, provided the home you move to also fits the lender’s criteria.

Making the most of all of the features on offer is important and that is why we are making it easy for you to have access to specialist equity release advice. Your local adviser can help you to decide if a Lifetime Mortgage is right for you, as well as help you to understand the impact releasing equity can have on your estate’s value and entitlement to means-tested benefits. Our advisers will provide you with a personalised illustration and will take you through the features and risks with consideration of your personal situation. n

Photo: © John- o liver Dum/500 P x/Getty i ma G es

…DIFFERENTLY

The male of the “European orchard“ or “mason bee“, (Osmia cornuta) is recognisable by his impressive hairdo. As you can see in the photo on the previous two pages, the face and underside of the head are covered in long, white hairs. The female of the species is considerably more discreet with her plain black hairstyle. Native to almost all of Europe, these wild bees are also “solitary”, meaning they do not live in hives or have queens like honey bees but rather live on their own. In May they start building their nests. After mating the male leaves and the female stays behind to care for the next generation.

Photo: © B ios P hoto / a lamy s tock

Photo

Comfort Food

A difficult diagnosis leaves the Mann family in a tough spot this month, but Olly has his coping mechanisms…

My

son, Toby, 17 months old, has just tested positive for COVID-19.

We half-expected it—that’s why we’d taken him to be tested, after all. But it was still unpleasant news to receive at five am; the NHS text flashing up at precisely the moment he coughed in my face for the fifth time that morning. Er, OK, I thought: this temperature and runny nose are indeed the Dreaded Lurgy (as opposed to just, you know, Lurgy). But what exactly can I do with this information?

Our whole household has to

Olly Mann presents Four Thought for BBC Radio 4, and the award-winning podcasts The Modern Mann and Answer Me This!

self-isolate for ten days, that much is clear. To be honest, there isn’t an enormous difference between "lockdown" and "self-isolation", apart from all those really indulgent trips to buy stamps we’ll so valiantly sacrifice. But Toby is the first in our household to test positive, and all the information provided for people in this predicament is designed for adults who are (or should be) concerned about protecting their families. Toby, obviously, cannot comprehend such advice. He cannot keep a distance from everybody else, or eat and wash in a separate room. There’s a word for asking a baby to behave like that, and that word is "neglect".

Because we don’t have symptoms, my wife and I can’t divide up our parenting tasks based on risk of exposure, or receive NHS tests to

determine our status. We called 111, and the medic we spoke to agreed that the official guidance didn’t really apply to our situation. "The advice is an ideal world scenario", she said. "But there’s not much you can do".

Indeed. Not much we can do. So, here we are, trapped within our four walls with a babbling, gurgling, tottering Vector Of Transmission, who steadfastly continues to climb on us, spit in our faces, love us, hug us and flob on us. It seems inevitable that we, and our elder son, are going to get COVID now. Not much we can do.

Up until this point, we’d done all that was asked: stocked up on hand sanitiser, joined Disney+, downloaded Zoom, clapped for the NHS, cancelled our Christmas, raided Ocado for wine and created a special "APOCALYPSE!" cupboard full of chopped tomatoes and bog roll. We’d obeyed the lockdowns to the letter—and continued to send Toby to nursery, because the government said we could.

At the first sign of a splutter, we’d whipped him down to the drivethru testing centre. We’d obeyed all the signs telling us to remain in our car—even though that meant I had to ungainly climb over the back seats to stick a chopstick up my son’s nose, thereby becoming jammed in our foot well for two minutes, bum crack

into the driver’s seat and pretended nothing had gone wrong.

My first reaction, after absorbing his diagnosis, was to cook sausages. I didn’t even know that was my comfort food of choice. Perhaps an afternoon crisis would have triggered a different culinary desire? Anyway, a full stomach helped me take stock. Yes, it may now be inevitable that we’re going to contract the very virus we’ve spent a year studiously avoiding, but as long as we don’t contract it at the same time, then, hopefully, one or other of us will be available to look after our kids (thus answering my five-yearold’s most pressing concern: "…but who will make the pudding?").

So, to minimise asymptomatic transmission, we’ve opened all the windows. It turns out, in the depths of winter, that this makes for a rather bracing environment. We’ve bought an airbed from Argos (same-day delivery!), so my wife and I can sleep in separate rooms (or at least, separate bits of the same room—I’m in the corridor by the en-suite). And we’ve decided to wear face coverings whenever we are with Toby.

This last decision has been insignificant to him—I imagine he literally cannot remember life before masks—but for me, it’s discombobulating. I’ve become accustomed to wearing masks in supermarkets and coffee shops, of course, but to actually walk around with half my face obscured in my own house is quite another matter. It’s a constant reminder that my home has been infected. That it’s no longer a safe space.

And so it was, when I sat down to write this column, that I ended up writing about COVID, which is probably the last thing you wanted to read. Sorry about that. I recall a

similar impulse when I was studying for my degree in 2001, and 9/11 happened, and suddenly the very idea of writing essays about Keats and Wordsworth seemed utterly preposterous when—as it seemed to me then—the entire free world was under attack.

COVID has coloured my thoughts today, even though I know that in all likelihood I’ll probably just have a flu-like condition for a week or two, and my wife and children will be fine, and that really we should just be grateful we haven’t passed it on to my grandmother.

I predict there will be more sausages in the morning. n

Mythic Musings

How well do you know your ancient mythology? Answers below.

1. Who was condemned in Hades to forever push a boulder uphill, only for it to come rolling down before it reached the top?

2. In Norse mythology what type of animal was Audulma, the wet nurse of giants?

3. In Greek mythology, who was visited by Zeus in the form of a swan, and became the mother of Helen and Pollux?

4. Which mythical creature has the head of a lion, the body of a goat, and the tail of a dragon?

5. Translated to "woman of the fairy mound" name the female spirit in Irish mythologythat heraldsthedeathofafamilymember?

5.The banshee

4.Chimaera'

Answers: 1. Sisyphus, 2. A cow, 3. Leda'

Olivia Newton-John

On Family, Fulfilment And Fuelling Your Own Health

By Simon Button

Acclaimed actress and singer, Dame Olivia Newton-John, talks lockdown, finding her voice again and how alternative medicine has changed her life

Being forced to stay home has been something of a blessing for Olivia Newton-John.

“I feel guilty for saying it, but I’ve actually enjoyed not being able to go anywhere,” the singer admits down the phone from her California home. “My life has always been about being on planes and travelling and staying in hotels, so to be in one place for almost a year has been blissful.”

Olivia and her entrepreneur husband, John Easterling, live on a horse ranch near Santa Barbara.

“And it’s been wonderful having so much time at home. I’ve been able

to do things like clean out closets and garages. I’ve also learned how to make bread, I’ve done arts and crafts-y things, and have hung out with my animals and my husband. I haven’t been bored for one second.” Not that the 72-year-old multiple Grammy winner and seller of 100 million records worldwide is resting on the laurels she’s earned from nearly six decades in the business. She’s recorded a new single, prepped a duets album and launched her own foundation to fund research into holistic care for cancer. The single, “Window in the Wall”, carries a message that’s dear to Olivia’s heart.

“It’s about having compassion for each other and realising that we all have different ways of thinking and just accepting that. There seems to be so much conflict and we have to realise we’re all humans sharing the same planet. We need to get along.”

“THE BODY WANTS TO HEAL SO MY ATTITUDE IS, GIVE IT THE RIGHT NOURISHMENT”

It’s her first new record in a decade and she wasn’t planning on making new music, saying: “I didn’t think I was going to record anymore. I was thinking, I’m just gonna enjoy my life.” Then Olivia heard the track and loved it so much it made her cry.

“It really touched my heart and I was compelled to record it.”

She opted to create the track as a duet with her daughter, Chloe Lattanzi (from her previous marriage to actor Matt Lattanzi).

“And I think it’s turned out really quite nice,” the ever-modest Olivia

Olivia on Loose Women in November 2020

says of a song that was recorded in the same studio but at separate times. “Chloe was nervous about me being there so I went for a walk while she did her vocals.”

The duo have enjoyed some quality mother-daughter time lately, with 34-year-old Chloe staying at the family home for a spell and her mother practically cooing: “We’re great friends and we have so much in common with our love of animals and nature. I’m very proud of her. She’s a lovely young woman, we have a lot of fun together.”

The Physical singer has been very open about her health issues since she was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 1992.

The cancer came back in 2013 and 2017 and has metastasised to her bones, but she’s a fighter who now swears by the use of cannabis and other plant-based remedies with the help of husband John—who founded the Amazon Herb Company in 1990 and is an advocate for herbal wellness treatments.

“In the past five years or so he’s been growing cannabis for me and

With partner, John Easterling

I’m doing extremely well,” a very upbeat-sounding Olivia says. “I feel wonderful, I don’t have pain, I’m mobile and I feel healthy.”

Launched last October, The Olivia Newton-John Foundation is raising money for research and treatment programmes, with a particular focus on plant medicine.

“I want to find kinder treatments for cancer,” she elaborates, “having gone through chemotherapy and radiation thinking, There’s got to be a kinder way we can treat this . The body wants to heal, if given the opportunity, so my attitude is, Let’s give it the right nutrients and nourishment to heal .”

Some in the medical profession have expressed scepticism about the efficiency of such treatments.

“There’s always going to be that, but we have to remember we started with plant medicine. It was all we had before pharmaceuticals and nearly everything in the pharmaceutical world is derived from plants. They take out what they think is the main ingredient but we believe you need the whole plant to get true benefits.”

With growing cannabis and its medicinal use now legal in most US states, Olivia adds: “When I had a reoccurrence of cancer and was in hospital a couple of years ago, I weaned myself off morphine with cannabis and that was a major thing because I didn’t want to remain on a powerful opiate like that. I want to tell people, ‘Hey, you can do this and it’s safe’. ”

Olivia feels re-energised when it comes to music too, with a duets album in the pipeline. She’s keeping

details under wraps for now but “Window in the Wall” will be on it, along with ones from the vaults.

Making music and movies, Chloe is following in her mother’s footsteps, although Olivia has never felt the need to advise her on her career path.

“I’VE FULFILLED ALL MY DREAMS, EVERYTHING ELSE IS THE ICING ON THE CAKE”

Olivia with her daughter, Chloe Lattanzi

“I encouraged her to explore other avenues but it was kind of a natural progression, especially when she has such talent as a writer, singer and actress. I saw no reason to discourage her because I’ve had a wonderful life and career.”

Cambridgeshire-born NewtonJohn, whose family relocated to Australia when she was six, started a girl band at age 14, switched to singing on TV shows, returned to Britain to cut records and became a star with a string of hit singles like “If Not for You”, “Banks of the Ohio”

and “Take Me Home, Country Roads”. “I just kept going and went with the flow,” she says of a subsequent career that has taken in chart-topping records, movie roles, a performance at the opening ceremony of the 2000 Sydney Olympics and a 2020 damehood for services to music, cancer research and charity.

Then, of course, there’s the 1978 blockbuster musical Grease—the enduring love for which she puts down to “the cast, the choreography, the director, the energy of the story, great music, and a larger-than-life

With John Travolta in Grease

colourful and cartoonish feel”. As for some in the Twitter-sphere denouncing it as outdated and sexist, Olivia is both amused and bemused.

“I think it’s hilarious they take it so seriously. It was set in the 1950s and that was then, this is now.”

Career-wise, Newton-John is happy to say: “I’ve fulfilled all my dreams and more, and everything I’m doing now is icing on the cake.”

As for her eternal optimism in the face of her ongoing cancer battle, she reasons: “You have to make

a decision when you go through something like this. There are always going to be challenges in life but it’s how you respond to them that determines the quality of your life. Your mind and body aren’t separate and if you keep reinforcing negativity you’re going to reinforce bad health. That’s why I choose to be positive and grateful for every day.” n

The single “Window in the Wall” is out now on Greenhill Records. For more about The Olivia Newton-John Foundation visit onjfoundation.org

Kate Moss

I REMEMBER…

Household name Kate Moss rose to fame in 1990 when her striking face caught the imaginations of fashion photographers everywhere. CountlessVogue covers and hundreds of runways later, the supermodel looks back on growing up in Croydon, being secretly shy and mastering the art of a shoot

Kate as a young school girl; (right) with Naomi Campbell

…I WENT TO SCHOOL AT RIDDLESDOWN HIGH IN PURLEY. It was an established school that epitomised the harder edge of Surrey in that era. I think it’s much improved now, but I was never the sort of child who could get inspired by education—it just wasn’t for me.

…MY DAD WAS IN THE TRAVEL INDUSTRY AND WOULD ALWAYS

TALK ABOUT HOW BRILLIANT IT WAS TO SEE THE WORLD. Travel was a real ambition of mine when I was a kid. It quickly became my focus over school. Of course, I never dreamed that I’d be able to fulfil that through modelling, so when the

opportunity came it was something I jumped at. But as far as growing up in Croydon went, it wasn’t a time I look back on longingly, certainly in so much as the place itself. I was keen to get away.

…MYSELF

AND MY FRIENDS WOULD DRIFT AROUND

CROYDON ON A SATURDAY

AFTERNOON looking for inspiration. Surrey Street Market was a popular hangout—a rough and ready part of the town centre bordered by record shops and stalls. There is definitely a part of me that misses the innocence of it all, but not the place.

Richard Branson

…MY PARENTS SPLIT UP AND IT BROUGHT ABOUT A KIND OF REBELLION where I didn’t pay too much attention at school. I was definitely mature for my years— though not as mature as I thought I was—and from very early on I was focused on evolving a social life and getting out in the world.

I lived with my mum, Linda, and she encouraged me; while my father, Peter, and his work for Pan American World Airways, opened up for me a world of opportunity that I found hard to resist.

…I WAS DISCOVERED AT 14 BY SARAH [DOUKAS] OF STORM

MODEL AGENCY AT JFK AIRPORT. It was a simple chance encounter and one of those moments where you have to contemplate what would have happened if we’d been on a different flight. The truth is most models are discovered through chance encounters.

…THERE WERE MANY SHOOTS IN THE EARLY DAYS WHERE I FELT TERRIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

I think everyone understands the lifespan of a model, and the fact you

Kate with Virgin entrepreneur

will be starting young. That was the case with me, but even so there were some photographers who wouldn’t agree to shoot you unless there was a nude element. That was very common then and still is now. For a very young woman that could be incredibly intimidating.

…I WAS ONLY 16 WHEN I DID THE FACE MAGAZINE. It was 1990 and that really kicked everything off. I’d already been modelling for 18 months or so, but when you are on the cover of a national magazine,

the whole thing just explodes. I did get teased mercilessly for it though, as I was still at school.

…CORINNE DAY WAS THE FIGURE

BEHIND MY EARLY SHOOTS for The Face and Levi’s. I was so nervous for those early photoshoots and it all passed by in a blur, but the diversity that they gave me—from a music and culture magazine to the biggest denim brand on the market and a leg-up into clothes—was really so valuable. We fell out along the line but came back together

With fashion photographer Corinne Day in 2007

some years later and everything is good now.

…I DIDN’T HAVE A PLAN. I was always one of those young people who was just happy to be exposed to new things and experiences—there wasn’t a plan or a route that I wanted to go down. But it soon got to the point where I just couldn’t fit all my engagements into the week. At that point I knew I had to get serious and be a bit fussier, but until then it was really just a case of taking the offers and seeing where they went.

…IN THE EARLY DAYS I BECAME LINKED WITH THE PHRASE "HEROIN CHIC", which I always thought was awful. There is no positive interpretation of that and I certainly never felt one. At the end of the day I was always thin and small and no amount of eating would put weight on me. I see models now who are similar to me and sometimes the criticism they get is unfair because—up to a certain age at least—there are some of us who can just eat what we want without too many real consequences.

(Right) Kate and her daughter Lila attending a fashion show in 2019

That definitely changes in later life though, as I found out after the birth of my daughter Lila.

…A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO MODEL DO SO BECAUSE IT IS THE ULTIMATE PARADOX FOR A SHY PERSONALITY. It is the shyness that dares them to get up there and continue to push forward; and with the addictions that come with modelling—a desire

to be photographed and a desire to be desired—it is difficult not to return to that. Yes, there is a bit of arrogance that goes with the industry, but speaking personally, I’ve always tried to keep a level of respect in everything that I’ve done.

We are all "at work", and I think you need to remember that. Everyone wants to get their part of the job done and go home! n

Try Your Hand

Poker enthusiasts, beware! The odds of getting a royal flush are exactly one in 649,740. So, not particulary likely

Source: goodhousekeeping.com

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Over the past year, while the world has been combating a global health care crisis with the coronavirus pandemic, there has been a simultaneous ongoing crisis for Black women: health care discrimination

I KNOW MY BODY

BY Ronny Maye

According to the Equality Act of 2010, discrimination in health care is defined as unfair treatment by a healthcare provider based on characteristics such as age, disability, race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender or pregnancy. In the United States, this definition can be extended to include insurance, or the way a patient can or can not pay for their medical care and treatment.

Although doctors, nurses and other health care professionals take an oath to treat all patients fairly, health care discrimination does still take place and at higher instances for women and Black women,

according to cardiac intensive care nurse, Brittany Lincoln*. She believes that discrimination in healthcare affects these groups more frequently because medicine is predominantly a white male-dominated and taught industry, leading to the presence of implicit bias.

Her views align with those of a student doctor, Melanie Rae*, who has witnessed discrimination both as a healthcare provider and patient. Rae explains that healthcare discrimination is the direct result of both implicit and overt biases, structural racism, sexism, xenophobia and homophobia, that has been bred into the core curriculum, beginning in

"BLACK WOMEN ARE ROUTINELY GETTING THE SHORT END OF THE STICK FROM THEIR PHYSICIANS"

undergraduate premedical studies. Combined with factors such as perceived education levels, socioeconomic status and insurance coverage, Black women are routinely getting the short end of the stick from their physicians.

Black women are generally seen as strong individuals, and while this may be true, this belief has also put an innumerable amount of women at a disadvantage in terms of the

quality of care they are given at hospitals, emergency rooms and doctor's offices.

Lincoln explains that while "hysteria" is no longer a medically accepted diagnosis, it has been replaced with a new way to dismiss patients: anxiety. In her experience, women of all races and sizes are more likely to be diagnosed as anxious the moment they enter the hospital, leading to a delay in care.

As a plus size Black woman, my own health journey has not been free from discrimination from healthcare providers. In March of 2018, I laid in a hospital bed at my local emergency room for the second time within days, bleeding out because my body was going haywire from a period which had been irregular since the age of 16.

I was nauseated, cramping, faint, dehydrated and over the course of mere hours I had resorted to using 36 super tampons and a pack of overnight pads to try and stem the bleeding, before finally heading to the emergency room. Little did I know, this was only the beginning of a 90day mayhem which would involve more emergency room visits, two hospitalisations and surgery that consistently pinpointed my weight as the underlying cause.

and pain as well as to bring down my blood pressure. A blood transfusion to replace the copious amounts of blood lost due to menstruation had left me anaemic.

The doctor’s line of questioning told me three things: that he believed I didn’t know my body, that he thought that I was exaggerating and that his actions were rooted in biases towards women.

“I HAD TO FIND THE STRENGTH TO ADVOCATE FOR MYSELF”

In fact, this doctor was so confident that I was wrong, he decided that I could be discharged because my symptoms did not seem severe and were apparently under control. As I laid there bleeding out, I had to find the strength to advocate for myself, and in doing so, I might have saved my life.

The attending physician at this particular visit was a middle-aged white man, who came into the room several hours after my arrival to ask, “Are you sure you’re bleeding as much as you say you are?”

I was baffled by his question because in the hours it had taken for him to get to me, nurses had already given me several doses of medication to control the bleeding

P ersonal stories like mine, combined with data research, show that such experiences are not uncommon for Black women. When Black women are dismissed and unheard, it can lead to more complicated health issues and preventable deaths.

In both the United Kingdom and the United States, one area of medicine where healthcare discrimination manifests repeatedly is in gynecological (or reproductive)

health, particularly childbirth. USbased blogger and mother Ashley Sullivan recalls her experience during an appointment last year.

"I was experiencing severe symptoms that were unlike anything I had endured during my first pregnancy. I repeatedly asked the nurse to conduct testing but my requests fell on deaf ears. My concerns were swept under the rug and attributed to my being overweight and a woman of colour.

I insisted that something was wrong, prompting the doctor to initiate some tests. A day later, I was diagnosed with cholestasis which is deadly at the 37-week mark and beyond for both mother and baby. I was 36-weeks pregnant at diagnosis. Although my first pregnancy was almost a decade prior, another

healthcare provider was insistent that my daughter be delivered through a cesarean section, which was not medically necessary. Had I not advocated for myself, things could have taken a turn for the worse."

According to a report published by MBRRACE-UK in 2019, Black women are five times more likely to die from pregnancy complications than their white counterparts. For American Black women, these odds drop to two to three times more likely, however the risk increases with age, according to research published by The Center for Disease Control. Additionally, there is a higher prevalence of miscarriage and stillbirth among Black women as well as reproductive diseases such as endometriosis and fibroids.

While task forces and agencies have been assembled in the US and UK to reduce these statistics and eradicate the disparities that plague Black women in healthcare, there is no quick or overnight solution with which to dismantle decades of discrimination. Though it may appear that the odds are insurmountable, the greatest weapon we have as Black women is self-advocacy. After all, you know your body more intimately than anyone else.

Self-advocacy begins with being honest with yourself and the physician about the symptoms you may be experiencing and the timings of their onset. Another critical part of self-advocacy is

research. While your doctor is a medically trained professional, you can do your own research too, giving you more confidence and knowledge to reach from when discussing with your doctor. Research provides an opportunity to present your doctor with areas of concern, and create a game plan that might include a referral to a more specialised physician, necessary testing, adjustment of medications or the introduction of alternative treatment options.

If you are receiving a diagnosis that involves surgical procedures or extensive treatments such as chemotherapy, seek a second opinion where possible, making sure to have

THE GREATEST WEAPON WE HAVE AS BLACK WOMEN IS SELF-ADVOCACY

printed copies of your records from each visit, as electronic records can be altered or lost.

Finally, if you have an appointment with a physician who declines your requests for medication, testing or referrals, always ask them to make a note of your request and their reason for declining in your patient file.

*Names have been changed for anonymity

Be adamant and firm in what you need from your health care providers by knowing your rights as a patient. The NHS Constitution (gov.uk/ government/publications/the-nhsconstitution-for-england) outlines these rights, as does the American Patient Rights Association for American patients (americanpatient. org/who-we-are). n

9 WAYS TO GET SLEEPY

Struggling to get some shut eye? You're not alone. These tips will help you to get some much-needed rest

Susannah Hickling is twice winner of the Guild of Health Writers Best Consumer Magazine Health Feature

Around a third of us have insomnia. Long-term sleep problems are associated with health issues, including Type 2 diabetes, depression, weight gain and heart problems, but there are proven strategies that can help you drop off at night

1

Love the dark

Bright light delays the production of melatonin, a hormone that regulates your body clock and promotes sleep, so make sure your bedroom is as dark as possible. Consider blackout blinds or an eye mask.

2 Get moving

Wear yourself out with exercise and you’ll sleep better. Just 30 minutes of physical activity can help. But don’t exercise too near bedtime, as it will wake you up at just the time you need to be winding down.

3 Be a sun seeker

Too much light at night is a no-no, but a blast of sunlight in the morning can wake you up and keep your circadian rhythm—this regulates the sleep-wake cycle—on track. We’re not talking about hours of sunbathing— that’s just bad for you—but take your morning coffee in the garden or your daily walk before lunch.

4 Turn on the white noise

A snoring partner, noisy neighbours or even the local cats can stop you falling asleep. If you’re going to have sound, it’s better for it to be consistent. Try a white noise app or YouTube video, or even a sound machine. In summer, a fan can serve a similar purpose.

5 Cut back on bevvies

Caffeine remains in your body for hours after you consume it, so opt for decaf tea or coffee after noon. Alcohol can make you restless. It can also exacerbate sleep apnea, in which you momentarily stop breathing and wake up gasping for air. Lay off the booze for several hours before bed.

6 Check your screen time

Smart phones, laptops, tablets, TVs—they all emit blue light, which can stop you nodding off. Avoid screens an hour before bed if you want uninterrupted ZZZs. It’s also a good idea to switch off notifications or put your phone on silent.

7 Read an actual book

If you’re not reading or watching something online, then a physical book (rather than an e-reader which emits blue light) is a great option. Concentrating should make you feel more sleepy (hands up all those who nod off a few paragraphs in!).

8 Get your timing right

Sticking to a routine helps your sleep cycle. Don’t be tempted to stay up late and have a lie-in at weekends. Go to bed at a set time every night and get up at the same time. That said, don’t go to bed too early before you feel tired.

9 Ask for help

Stubborn insomnia, especially if you have anxiety or depression, probably needs professional help. And sleep apnea can raise the risk of high blood pressure and stroke, as well as putting you at higher risk of accidents, so always consult a doctor. n

For more weekly health tips and stories, sign up to our newsletter at readersdigest.co.uk

Lady Bits

There’s a lot of misinformation about what goes on “down there”, so it’s important to sort the fact from the fiction when it comes to vaginal health

Female fact: The vagina’s only one small part of your private parts We often use the term for the whole of our intimate anatomy, but the vagina is merely the tube that links the vulva—the outside bits, including the lips or labia and clitoris—with the cervix and uterus.

Female fiction: You need to clean your vagina You don’t. It’s full of good bacteria. Upset the balance and you can end up with infections like thrush or vaginal dryness. Wash the vulva using a gentle, unperfumed soap, and leave the vagina alone. No douching, perfumed wipes or deodorants.

Female fiction: You just have to put up with vaginal dryness If your vulva is dry, see a doctor, as it could indicate a health issue, such as a thyroid or autoimmune problem. Vaginal dryness can be caused by menopausal oestrogen deficiency, making sex painful. This can be sorted with vaginal oestrogen or a water-based lube. Avoid moisturisers that aren’t meant for your vagina.

Female fact: Vaginal oestrogen is safe There’s been hot debate over the years about HRT and whether it raises your risk of breast cancer. But the lowdose oestrogen creams and other topical preparations prescribed in the UK are not considered harmful, as very little oestrogen is absorbed into the bloodstream. But don’t use them if you’ve had breast cancer.

Female fiction: Pain during sex is normal. It never is. But it’s common and the causes are legion, from an infection to stress; from lack of arousal to illness, including cancer. Always see a doctor.

Female fact: You need to get to know your nether regions Women’s genitals vary hugely, but sometimes we get hung up on not being “normal”, and hate looking at them. But regular self-examination using a mirror can help you find sores, lumps or spots that could be an early sign of vulval cancer or an STI. n

Ask The Expert: Foot Health

Emma Supple is a qualified podiatric surgeon and vice-president of the College of Podiatry

How did you become an expert in foot health?

When I was 18. I knew I had to grow up to be something and a friend suggested podiatry, or chiropody as it was called then. I said, “I’m not looking at dirty, smelly feet,” but I spent a day with a podiatrist at the Royal Liverpool Hospital and absolutely loved it. I have worked in the NHS and now have my own private podiatry clinic, Supplefeet, in Enfield, Middlesex.

Why is it important to look after your feet?

No one asks that after they have experienced foot pain! You only have one pair of feet for your lifetime. It’s part of wellness, of being fit and healthy.

What are the common foot problems people have?

The most common are corns or calluses, which are to do with your way of walking or the shoes you wear, and toenail problems like an ingrowing toenail or thickened nails from fungal infections. There’s also foot pain

from trapped nerves, bones out of place, claw toes, hammer toes. And diabetic ulcers are a huge issue.

When should people seek the help of a podiatrist?

Most of the time podiatrists can make you better. If you have a foot problem, seek a podiatrist’s help before going to your GP. You can refer yourself directly, but you might have to go private unless you’re high risk, for example, if you have diabetes.

What can people do to care for their feet?

Scrub your feet every day in hot soapy water. This dislodges dirt. Keep toenails short. Both of these make a massive difference to fungal infections. Apply a good urea-based foot cream every day, and be shoesavvy. Wear dancing shoes for dancing, walking shoes for walking, and don’t walk around barefoot all the time if you have pain.

lot, wear light trainers or

Visit supplefeet.com to learn more about Emma's work

Don’t Believe Everything You Read

Dr Max Pemberton muses over the confusing scientific studies that could lead us astray...

Max is a hospital doctor, author and columnist. He currently works full time in mental health for the NHS. His new book, The Marvellous Adventure of Being Human, is out now

Of course, as a doctor

I like to promote good health and well-being at every given opportunity. For this reason may I suggest that you put down this magazine, scrape your All-Bran into the bin, and make yourself a hearty fried breakfast? Preferably with extra lard. Several studies in recent years, including research conducted by the US Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, appear to show that overweight people live longer. And while you’re at it, why not pour yourself a glass of wine and book yourself in for a session on a sun bed. Despite everything we’ve been told, sun-bathing has been shown to slow ageing by five years. But don’t eat any potatoes. Oh no, that would be fool-hardy—or is it bananas that are bad for you at the moment? Or perhaps it’s having children? I forget. And while on the subject of memory

problems, why not light up a cigarette, because some studies have shown this decreases your chances of developing Alzheimer’s. In fact, don’t eat. Or breathe. After all, oxygen contains free radicals which are implicated in cancers. Hold your breath and live in a tent somewhere, away from all civilisation. But avoid being isolated, which is linked to suicide but also being with other people, which is linked to homicide.

It seems that not a day goes by when some activity or food stuff or lifestyle choice isn’t linked to death and disease. And then, in increasingly bizarre about-turns from the scientific community, research is then published which completely contradicts this advice. For every study that seems to suggest that being overweight or drinking wine is in fact good for us, there’s a multitude contradicting it.

THE LIST OF DO’S AND DON’TS IS NEVERENDING

I wish researchers realised how confusing it was for the general public. The benefits of eating fish have long been espoused, and yet it has also been linked to diabetes. Take plenty of exercise, although research has also warned against getting sweaty near someone else as this has been linked to contracting hepatitis B. I could go on and on,

because the list of conflicting “do’s and don’ts” is seemingly neverending. And yet, strangely, we still love to read it. We seem to derive a perverse enjoyment from being scared. Forget Nightmare on Elm Street, there’s far more fear to be had perusing an isle in your local supermarket. While I’m sure the scientific research is well-meaning, it’s got to the stage where no one in their right mind pays any attention to these contradictory scare stories, because if you did, you’d be paralysed by indecision as what to believe and what not to believe. We’re suffering from healthadvice fatigue where we become desensitised to such warnings. I point the finger of blame at the universities and institutions who put out these studies in press releases, often with overblown and sensationalist headlines, knowing that few will really delve into the data. The subtle nuances of statistical risk are lost on most people without a science PhD, so we’re left unable to properly evaluate the claims made. The only sensible response is to take all this scare mongering with a pinch of salt—but only a pinch, mind you, given how it’s linked to high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes, and God knows what else. n

The Doctor Is In

Dr Max Pemberton

Q: With reports of COVID-19 affecting BAME people more than white people, I’m worried about other areas of health where this could be true. My parents are from India—am I more at risk of some health problems? -Adi

A: I agree it is quite confusing. It’s still not clear why BAME people are at more risk. It could be a genetic factor or it could be down to a secondary factor. It could also be down to social factors. People from BAME communities are more likely to have public-facing, higher-risk jobs, such as bus drivers, nurses and cleaners. It’s likely to be down to a combination. Leaving COVID to one side, we know that certain groups are more susceptible to certain conditions. This is a very complex topic, because it’s sometimes difficult to differentiate between what is the result of social factors and genetic factors. We’ve known for more than 50 years, that the risk of heart disease is up to 50 per cent higher in firstgeneration South Asians than in the white

European population. Even within the South Asian group, there are differences in risk. Those at highest risk are the Bangladeshi population, followed by Pakistanis, Indians and Sri Lankans. Lifestyle factors may play a role. Traditional fats such as ghee are high in saturated fat, for example. Studies have also shown that South Asian women are less likely to exercise. Rates of smoking are also higher in this ethnic group. But part of it is genetic. Body shape and diabetes plays a big role and we know that this ethnic group have an increased genetic risk of diabetes and they tend to be diagnosed at a much younger age than other ethnic groups. So, if you’re of Indian heritage then it’s important that you follow health advice—eat a balanced diet, watch your weight, don’t smoke, exercise regularly and have your blood pressure and cholesterol checked regularly.

Got a health question for our doctor? Email it confidentially to askdrmax

Your Memory Needs Attention!

These three strategies will focus your mind on learning, says our memory expert, Jonathan Hancock

It’s all too easy to confuse familiarity with knowledge. Psychologists often demonstrate this with objects like coins or leaves. We’ve all seen these things many times, and we recognise them instantly. But when we’re asked to describe them from memory, we usually fail. Try it yourself. Pick something you see regularly, like an apple core or your own watch. Describe it out loud, then check your success. You might be surprised at the difference between being familiar with something, and having accurate recall.

Of course, you don’t need to remember everything. Your brain is right not to waste its energy on commonplace information. But when you do want it to work, you’ll need to switch it on by paying attention. Modern life makes this active approach more important than ever. Our busy world defocuses our thinking, training us to see general

patterns in the action around us, and tempting us to do lots of things at once—without paying attention to anything in particular.

But here are three strategies that we can all use to activate our attention, and start getting much more out of our memory.

1Do one thing at a time. There’s plenty of research to show that multitasking is a myth. If you divide your attention, you dramatically reduce your thinking power—and your memory can take a damaging hit.

2Get out into nature. Studies have demonstrated that natural environments make us more inclined to spot details, and better at focusing our thoughts. So try doing your exam revision in the garden, or rehearsing your next presentation in the park.

3Do something stimulating. You won’t just switch on your attention and learning while you’re doing it. Research shows that the positive effects last beyond the activity itself— and help you in whatever you do next. So play a game or practise a tricky dance move. Then, when you turn to “serious” learning, your brain will be primed to shut out distractions and zone in on the details that count.

So when you need to learn something properly, take these simple steps to give your memory the attention it deserves! n

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Loneliness, OUR OTHER HEALTH CRISIS

Maintaining regular social connections is essential, not just for our self-esteem, but also our all-round health

BY Helen Signy

WHEN WILLIAM

YEATES was diagnosed with dementia at the age of 59 last year, he felt desperately alone. A former secondary school deputy head teacher who was married with three adult children, he felt as though he were sinking into quicksand with no one to throw him a lifeline.

“I wanted to be sociable and to be around my friends, but I didn’t know how,” he says. He was aware that his social skills were diminishing, and he grew increasingly fearful of being ridiculed and judged. “I became anxious, my depression got worse and the quality of my sleep changed.”

Everyone feels lonely from time to time, but research has shown there can be serious health consequences when loneliness becomes chronic.

A study by researchers from Brigham Young University in the US looked at the links between mortality and loneliness. They found people who said they were experiencing loneliness, social isolation or who lived alone were about 30 per cent more likely to die earlier than everyone else—a rate comparable with obesity or smoking.

Loneliness increases the risk of depression, low self-esteem, sleep problems, cognitive decline and dementia. Once people start to experience poorer mental health,

they develop a greater level of anxiety about meeting other people, socialise less frequently and then develop even more negative emotions.

Clinical psychologist Dr Rob Gordon describes how people can spiral from loneliness into negative self-image and critical self-talk, especially if they had a pre-existing tendency to low self-esteem.

“People tend to drift from ‘I am feeling lonely’ to ‘I would like to talk to someone’ to ‘No one is talking to me, no one likes me, I’m not a nice person, no one cares about me, I don’t really need to exist’,” he says.

This cycle, in turn, puts people’s physiology under stress. Loneliness can lower resistance to disease and create higher inflammatory responses in the body, leading to an increased risk of heart disease or stroke. To make things worse, people who are lonely are less likely to get enough exercise and are more likely to smoke or eat an unhealthy diet.

Studies have shown loneliness is associated with poorer general health and wellbeing, suicide and dementia. Lonely people are more likely to be readmitted to hospital after discharge, to stay in hospital for longer, and to be taken into residential care. They are also more likely to visit their GP or the emergency department more often than others. At work, loneliness is linked to poorer performance; in the UK, it’s estimated that loneliness

could be costing businesses up to £2.5 billion a year due to absence and lost productivity.

THE 2018 AUSTRALIAN

LONELINESS REPORT by the Australian Psychological Society and Swinburne University found one in four Australians feel lonely, with many reporting anxiety about socialising and 30 per cent saying they didn’t feel part of a group of friends. Both young and old people are affected, though people over 65 are the least lonely. People with disabilities are at increased risk, as

PEOPLE CAN SPIRAL FROM LONELINESS INTO NEGATIVE SELF-IMAGE AND CRITICAL SELF-TALK

are people who live alone. “People tell me their friends don’t ring them anymore—loneliness is absolutely real for people with dementia,” says Yeates, who now runs webinars to bring together others who are affected. “One lady told me she doesn’t get any visitors; the only time she has any human contact is in the weekly webinar. I invited her out for lunch but she couldn’t do it, she was too fearful.”

Worryingly, one in eight young people aged 18–25 report a very high intensity of loneliness, and are more likely than older people to feel greater levels of social anxiety. Even school-aged children report feeling lonely and isolated and say they don't have meaningful connections with people around them.

While people have always felt lonely—it’s part of the human condition—there’s no doubt that the modern world, with longer commuting times and greater numbers of people living alone, has exacerbated the trend. Irene Verins, a manager at Mental Wellbeing, VicHealth, says loneliness in younger people aged 18 to 25 is often driven by unrealistic expectations based on social media.

So serious is loneliness internationally that the UK government appointed a Minister for Loneliness and in 2011 launched a Campaign to End Loneliness. It’s estimated that every £1 spent on

tackling loneliness in Britain has delivered a £2-£3 saving in costs for the economy. That’s because the loneliness of individual people impacts the social cohesion of the whole community. The fewer lonely people, the lower the healthcare costs and the greater the wellbeing of everyone. “This is a national issue,” says Verins.

THIS YEAR, public health experts have raised the alarm about an increase in loneliness caused by forced isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic. Crisis organisations such as Lifeline and the Red Cross have fielded hundreds of thousands of calls from people who have no one else to talk to.

Although loneliness and isolation are not the same thing, they reinforce each other. Loneliness is a personal experience of feeling a lack or loss of companionship. It’s about how we see the quality of our relationships and whether we have a connection with people in our lives. It is possible to live with a family or have a large group of friends and still feel lonely.

Isolation is being physically cut off from our normal social connections, and can lead us to feel lonely. At the same time, people who are lonely tend to self-isolate. The more they withdraw from social interaction, the lonelier they become.

An Australian government survey

LIVING ON MY OWN

“It’s almost like having an empty bubble around you”

Larry Signy, 89, has been living alone since his wife, June, entered a dementia care unit last year. Here, he explains how he feels:

“The worst thing about loneliness is that although you talk to people, your thoughts are always with your wife. You get a physical ache and tears in your eyes when you wish, almost beg, for just one more conversation with your wife. Your mind continually reminds you that she is not there. You sit watching TV in the evening, and although you know she is not

there, you frequently look across to her seat to check. When you go to bed, you are conscious that you are alone. Even when you turn the lights out you see the dark shape of a second pillow next to you, with no head on it.

It means that you find you have emotions you never before realised you had.

Living in the countryside means everything is quiet. I turn on the TV as soon as I get up. It’s background noise, human voices.

When I do talk to people, though, I often find that I always want to bring the conversation

round to my wife—I have to remind myself that they have lives and thoughts of their own.

Before lockdown, I was starting to go to local theatres and cinemas, that was fine, but I always noticed that on the way out almost everyone had someone else to talk to about the play or film—I was very conscious of the fact that I didn’t.

Now, far too often I have to force myself to leave the house. It’s almost as if when I’m indoors I’m in a friendly atmosphere—outside is a much bigger environment and I’m even more alone.

“But although I meet neighbours, chat to checkout people in the shops, have phone calls with friends and relatives come in and out, I’m always aware that there’s no one in the house with me.

It’s hard to explain, but it’s almost like having an empty bubble around you. Well, not only hard to explain, impossible.”

in April found that the majority of respondents (57 per cent) reported feeling lonely and isolated more often since the outbreak of the coronavirus. The COVID-19 Monitor, a research project from Vox Pop Labs, found that the number of people reporting poor mental health more than trebled from before the pandemic to the end of April 2020.

People have dealt with isolation in two ways, says Dr Catherine Barrett, a clinical psychologist and academic who founded the Kindness Pandemic community in the early days of COVID. Some have enjoyed the time spent alone and have understood that it was temporary. Others have felt lost and disorientated, which has made them sad and lonely.

“We lost the unsolicited communications that are part of everyday social interaction—the chat in the lift after a meeting, the coffee with a work colleague,” Dr Barrett says. That unsolicited interaction shows us how we are perceived by others—it forms our sense of who we are. “Those who have a wellestablished identity will be able to do without it. But others lost their markers, their anchor for their sense of self.”

It is still too early to gauge the long-term impact of the loneliness that so many of us experienced during COVID-19.

For many the impact has been

short term and is already starting to resolve, says Rachel Bowes, Lifeline’s head of crisis services and quality. But, “for those with existing mental health problems,” she says, “it will be harder for them or take longer to recover and go back to what they would consider to be normal for them.”

RED CROSS VOLUNTEER Kath Cooney is a social worker trained in psychological first aid who has been making up to 30 wellbeing calls a day during the pandemic to people facing isolation.

ALTHOUGH LONELINESS AND ISOLATION ARE NOT THE SAME THING, THEY REINFORCE EACH OTHER

One call has stuck in her mind. “She was an older woman in her nineties. She lived on her own, but she went out three days a week to lunch programmes where she was helping, she went to the library, she had a full life. Then all the things that kept her from being lonely were gone overnight, and there was nothing to replace them.”

The lady was not sleeping and could not find the energy to get out of her chair. She was frustrated because she could not choose her groceries herself and she had lost interest in eating. “Everything was hard,” says Cooney. The Red Cross enrolled her in its Telecross programme, which offers a daily telephone call to check on people’s wellbeing and provide a friendly voice.

For Cooney, the conversations were mutually beneficial—reaching out to relieve the lady’s loneliness also helped her feel like she was doing something positive during the pandemic. “She had such good stories, she wasn’t hard to listen to,” says Cooney.

Reaching out is something we can all do.

“We know at Lifeline how important just a phone call can be,” says Lifeline’s Rachael Bowes. “We just talk to people, build that connection and create a space where they can talk about what’s on their mind. We can all do that.”

She says it’s important to be

proactive in initiating contact with people you think may be lonely. That’s because there is stigma attached to loneliness, and lonely people may feel like they’re a burden on others.

The good news is that dealing with isolation during the pandemic has forced us to develop new ways of connecting and looking out for each other—an investment that will reap rewards into the future.

Peter Gordon, 37, a visually impaired student from Hobart, Tasmania, has found a bunch of new friends during daily online "happy hour" chats organised by Blind Citizens Australia to respond to their members’ needs during the pandemic. “We got together to talk about cooking, exercise, music. We got to talk about the good parts of coronavirus and the bad parts. We could relate to each other. I’ve met all sorts of people and I’ve stayed in contact with them via social media.”

TACKLING LONELINESS

might mean nothing more than bringing in a neighbour’s bins, paying for someone’s coffee, or stopping to chat to an acquaintance in the street.

“All these little generous acts help build relationships that address loneliness,” says Dr Barrett.

“Kindness impacts upon the other person, on you and on the sharing group. It’s about human connection—after all, we all breathe the same air.”n

WHAT YOU CAN DO IF YOU’RE FEELING LONELY

Start small. Initiate contact with one other person. Don’t overthink things. Chances are, they will welcome the chance to connect.

Chat to your neighbours. They are always around you, even during lockdown.

Smile at a stranger. Unsolicited connections will improve your mood.

Think about one or two close relationships. What can you do to talk to that person more?

Find small ways of adding yourself back into your community. If possible, go for a coffee in a local café or visit the library.

Consider volunteering. It’s a great way to remind yourself that you are valuable.

Offer help to someone.

Postpone major life changes, like moving house or changing jobs.

Don’t compare yourself to other people. It’s not about the number of relationships you have, it’s the quality that matters. Exercise regularly and eat healthy food.

The Power of Song

Estonia, which had endured foreign occupation for centuries, joined its fellow Baltic Republics of Latvia and Lithuania in a nonviolent movement that enabled them to become independent from the Soviet Union. Between 1987 and 1991 the "Singing Revolution" saw thousands of people gather in public places, raising the banned Estonian flag aloft and singing the songs of their heritage, despite the national ban on such actions. The movement eventually gained the support of the republic’s ruling Communist Party in defying Moscow, faced down Soviet tanks, and successfully declared Estonian independence

Source: nonviolent-conflict.org/estonias-singing-revolution-1986-1991/

Body, Heal Thyself

Why do wounds mend more slowly as we age?

BY Christina Frangou

WHEN A CHILD gets a scrape, a kiss from their grown-up and a day or two with a plaster is usually all that’s needed. When it happens to an adult, it takes more time to heal—in fact, a 40-yearold’s wound can take twice as long as the identical wound on a 20-year-old. And the process slows more the older you get.

We’re all familiar with this phenomenon, of course, but you might wonder what’s behind it. “We actually don’t have a complete answer,” admits Dr Dennis Orgill, medical director of the Wound Care Center at Boston’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital in the US. “But in my experience, it’s a slow decline from birth on.” That delay in healing can put us at higher risk of infection and prolonged pain.

To repair a wound, the body embarks on a complicated and spectacular process, recruiting a variety of cells to work together to stop the bleeding, then restore and rebuild the skin. And as we age, changes in our bodies can disrupt that process.

Our skin is put together like a three-layer cake. At the top is the epidermis, home of hair, freckles and wrinkles. Only about half a millimetre thick in places, it’s made up mostly of keratinocytes, cells that slough off to be replaced with younger, healthier ones—a turnover that slows as we get older. We also lose lipids and amino acids in this layer with age, leading to

illustration by paige stampatori

dry skin that’s prone to tearing. Bacteria can get in through even the tiniest of slits in the skin, so seemingly small cuts can take longer to heal.

Just below the epidermis is the dermis, which gives skin its thickness. The dermis regulates our body’s temperature and supplies the epidermis with nutrient-rich blood. This layer houses blood vessels, lymph vessels, sweat and oil glands, and collagen, a protein that gives your skin its elasticity and resilience. After

COMPLETE

CELL

TURNOVER OCCURS EVERY 45 TO 50 DAYS IN ELDERLY ADULTS

turning 50, a person loses approximately one per cent of collagen a year—making its vital task in skin repair less effective.

But beyond skin changes, there are other factors that can come with being alive for a while. Although not exclusive to seniors, many diseases are more common among older adults which can delay healing, including congestive heart failure, rheumatoid arthritis and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

Most notably, diabetes is linked to over 100 known contributors to delayed wound healing, including

hormone disruption and altered collagen accumulation. This disease causes other complications, too, that can impede healing, like poor kidney function, vascular disease and neuropathy.

Even if you don’t have any of those conditions, medications for other afflictions—steroids and nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, chemotherapy and radiotherapy—can have the same slowing effect.

Besides trying to dodge all those wound-delaying factors, there are some active measures you can take as you age to shore up your body’s power to heal itself. Leading the list: avoid sun damage and stop smoking. Moisturising regularly and staying hydrated can help. Keep wounds moist by covering them with a bandage. And, a somewhat surprising one: muscle strength can aid with wound repair. Since physically inactive people lose between three and eight per cent of muscle mass every decade after age 30—and even more after 60—it’s never too soon to start exercising.

Finally, there’s truth to the cliché that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. “Remember the old days when people on boats would get scurvy and have wounds that fell apart?” says Dr Orgill. If your cuts are healing slowly—at any age—he suggests getting a lab test to check for deficiencies in vitamins and minerals like vitamin C and zinc. n

My Britain: Canterbury

A Unesco World Heritage Site, the city of Canterbury was rendered immortal by Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales. Written between 1387 and 1400, the collection of stories tells the tale of a group of pilgrims travelling to the city's famous cathedral to visit the shrine of St Thomas Becket. The city retains its religious connections today, with the magnificent Canterbury Cathedral (one of the oldest Christian structures in England) serving as the seat for the Archbishop of Canterbury, the leader of the Church of England.

The city of Canterbury is a popular tourist destination, both for the cathedral and its array of independent restaurants, boutique shopping experiences and other historical landmarks. The largest Medieval gateway in Britain is here, as are the ruins of St Augustine’s Abbey, dating back to 613 AD.

Canterbury is also home to an array of green spaces, including Dane John Gardens. Formerly a Roman cemetery, the gardens encompass the old city walls and bountiful natural beauty.

Jon Mills

Jon Mills, 52, is the director of Canterbury Brewers and Distillers operating out of The Foundry Brew Pub and has lived in the city for 20 years. Visit thefoundrycanterbury. co.uk to learn more

I've lived in Canterbury for 20 years now and my wife and I love the city—my four children all go to school here. I really enjoy walking or cycling into work passing through parks, the cathedral, the punting boats on the Stour, and Victorian street lights that were made in the Foundry building where I now handcraft beer and grainto-glass spirits to serve in our restaurant and bar, The Foundry Brew Pub. I love what I do and I am a very lucky man.

You are never more than a few yards away from greenery or the river in Canterbury. My favourite spot in the city

is probably the remains of the Old Mill in Abbots Mill Gardens. It's great to sit there in the summer watching our kids play and enjoy the sound and sight of cascading water as it flows through the old mill and watch the punting boats lazily floating by.

The main change that I have seen in Canterbury over the years is in the high street. We have lost two department stores recently, but I am very optimistic that Canterbury will rise to the challenge and we will see an increase in our already flourishing independent trade. Our wonderful world class tourist attractions will be

complemented by a great explosion of local produce including fabulous wine, cheese, beer and spirits. We are working hard at The Foundry on producing English whiskey in the heart of the city.

Canterbury and its history has had a huge influence on what I do. The cathedral is in the branding of our products such as Canterbury Gin. The specific influence of the historic building that we call home has been immense. The Foundry Brew pub and restaurant building was a Victorian foundry supplying the southeast railway and repairing the winding engine to the Crab and Winkle Line. They constructed one of the very first torpedoes under the design of Admiral Harvey and their

19th-century lamp posts can still be found in Canterbury and indeed all over the world. I am very proud to still be making products here in the centre of our city.

The Canterbury community spirit is amazing and I think the coronavirus pandemic has only reinforced that.

At The Foundry, we have had enormous local support during our business lockdowns. We have continued to deliver to people's houses and we even learned how to make hand sanitiser so that we could give it away to local organisations in need.

If the city were a pint, it would have to be a rich, flavourful hoppy porter— complex, bursting with flavour, rich in history with a modern twist, refreshing and full of quality local ingredients.

Cressida Williams

Cressida Williams is the archives and library manager for Canterbury Cathedral. You can learn more about her work by visiting canterburycathedral.org/heritage/

I came to Canterbury to work in a shop on St Margaret’s Street, having never been to the city before. I left to pursue my studies to become an archivist, and had the wonderful fortune to secure a position at the Canterbury Cathedral Archives and Library in 1997.

Today, I am archives and library manager at the cathedral. I lead a small team which cares for the written collections of the cathedral, including handwritten documents dating from the ninth century onwards and a rich collection of printed books. We also house the historic archive of the City of Canterbury, which dates from the 12th century onwards, the historic records of

Church of England churches in eastern Kent, and records of other individuals and institutions in the Canterbury area. Overall, it’s a fascinating resource for anyone with an interest in local history, family history, church history and much more. We provide public access to the collections. COVID restrictions have made it impossible to welcome people on site to consult the collections; however, the Archives and Library have remained open online.

I love Canterbury for its history and heritage and it’s everywhere in the city’s streets and buildings, from Roman times onwards. It’s a busy city, but there are always quiet corners to be found. The cathedral is one of the three elements of the Canterbury World Heritage Site (with St Augustine’s Abbey and St Martin’s Church), so it's part of the reason for the city’s international importance. It is the oldest cathedral foundation in England, and the seat of the leader of the Church of England, the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Since medieval times, the cathedral has brought visitors to the city.

I particularly like spending time in the cathedral’s herb garden. It is a peaceful spot, which links to the cathedral’s medieval past, as in the Middle Ages the monks grew herbs nearby for use in cooking and in medicine. The herbs themselves attract butterflies and other insects in the summer. n

To plan a future visit to Canterbury, head to canterbury.co.uk

If I Ruled The World

Nadia Sawalha

Nadia Sawalha is a British actor, TV presenter and author, best known for EastEnders, Celebrity MasterChef and Loose Women

I would get rid of GCSEs. I think our education system is very flawed. Children in Britain are some of the unhappiest in Europe, according to research, and, apparently, it’s due to stress and anxiety. I’m certain it’s linked to all the exams that kids have to go through. Even the people who initially developed the GCSE system are saying it’s time to rethink it. There are a lot of kids who could be brilliant students but just aren’t good at being tested. I think coursework is a much better way.

Every dog owner would have their dog on a lead on the street. When my kids were little, they used to be terrified when dogs would come up to them. My oldest sister is terrified, too, she’s got a phobia. She could see a perfectly nice dog just trotting along in front of its owner, and that would send her into an absolute tailspin. Nothing scares me more. It’s probably because I was attacked when I was little by a dog. It just enrages me when people walk along with a dog. In fact,

a dog trainer told me once that there is never a reason to have a dog off the lead on the road or pavement. I don’t understand why it’s not the law.

Cyclists would be required to wear helmets and they’d have number plates. They can do whatever they want and never get caught. Why can a cyclist just go through a red light and get away with it? Because there’s no way of recording what they do. So they need little number plates. A couple of months ago I was walking on the road and this cyclist came onto the pavement and sent me flying. Luckily I was OK, but people get horrendously injured by cyclists knocking them over, and yet they can just do whatever they like.

Crisps would be good for us. We can send people to the moon and perform organ transplantation. So why can’t we make crisps really good for us?

I am a crisp addict, I cannot have a sandwich without a bag of crisps, I can’t drink alcohol without crisps.

When I was a kid, I used to steal money from my parents all the time so I could buy crisps. I loved them. I don’t understand why scientists haven’t put their minds to this. I know they’ve been dealing with a global pandemic, but crisps are much more important.

We wouldn’t pour oil down our sinks. “Fatbergs” are the same as icebergs and people don’t realise that it costs millions every year to get rid of them. They form when we pour oil down the sink after we’ve fried something. What happens is the oil goes into the water system and sticks to all the little bits of food that might be down there, or non-biodegradable items like face wipes, and all of that causes these huge fatbergs. Now, a lot of people know that you shouldn’t deep-fry and pour the oil down the sink. But what they don’t realise is that even just a little bit of oil in a pan is really bad. So you just have to wipe it out with kitchen roll and put it in the bin. If you’ve got a lot of oil leftover, you just pour it into a container and put the lid on.

going to cope with the real world?”

I don’t think bullying makes a person stronger or better prepared for the world. For example, if you were in a workplace and somebody was threatening you or making your colleagues not speak to you, giving you the silent treatment or punching you in the lift—how long would you stick that out? How long would your friends and family expect you to endure that before saying, “Well, if your boss isn’t going to do anything, you need to get out of there”? But people don’t apply the same rule to children. It’s really, really weird. n

We would change the narrative around bullying. I’m always shocked when someone asks me, “If you’re taking your child out of school because they’re bullied, how are they

As told to Eva Mackevic

Honey, I Homeschooled the Kids by Nadia Sawalha and Mark Adderley, published by Coronet, is available now

The Great

Restaurant Reinvention

The past year has been turbulent for the restaurant industry but, writes Lizzie Enfield, the restaurant was born after a period of chaos and will survive this one, too

In the past 12 months restaurants have been forced to adapt and reinvent themselves. Since Britain's first lockdown was introduced at the end of March 2020 they have become takeaways, delicatessens, and purveyors of online cookery courses and sellers of do-it-yourself home cooking kits. A year of lockdowns, curfews, new hygiene and social distancing regulations has presented huge challenges to the hospitality industry. The UK’s hospitality sector saw sales plummet by 48 per cent in the third quarter of 2020 according to research commisioined by UK Hospitality, and over 50 per cent of businesses are expected to fail before the end of the first quarter of 2021.

“FIFTY PER CENT OF BUSINESSES ARE EXPECTED TO FAIL BY THE END OF THE FIRST QUARTER OF 2021”

Necessity is the mother of invention and the inventiveness and ingenuity those in the restaurant trade have drawn on to survive the global pandemic has been impressive. It’s also perhaps unsurprising, given that the restaurant as we think of it today emerged from another period of turbulence and crisis—the French Revolution.

Eating out goes a long way back. The Romans had their taverns serving set meals and cook shops called thermopolia selling hot readyto-eat dishes of lentils and stews. In the Middle Ages, inns would provide communal buffets of cold meats or roasts to cater to the many people who didn’t have kitchens. Prior to the revolution in France, there were plenty of places where you could eat out but fine dining was a privilege enjoyed by the aristocracy in the comfort of their own homes, palaces, chateaux and manoirs.

In 18th-century France, while the aristocrats were enjoying haute cuisine prepared by personal chefs, harsh winters and oppressive taxation had left the bulk of the French

La cafe du Bosquet; Paris during the French Directorate period, late 18th century

population unable to afford bread. When the starving masses finally took to the streets of Paris in 1789, the aristocrats fled to the countryside, leaving their chefs and their fine wines behind. Both found their way to the cities' existing eateries and within a year, a host of new elegant restaurants with extensive menus had been established.

"These restaurants were a microcosm of the New France," says David Gilks, a lecturer in Modern European History at the University of East Anglia. "They were the places where the nouveau riche, who had profited from the revolution were to be seen. There were still shortages of basic food stuffs in many parts of Paris but in the nicer parts you

would see people tucking into fine food in elegant surroundings."

In the 1760s the health-obsessed merchants of Paris developed a taste for light broths known as "restoratives" or "restaurants", and dining halls where customers could sit at individual tables and sip them began popping up around the city.

The new post-revolutionary restaurants took their names from these and the new class of French deputies and businessmen flocked to them, booming in the early 19th century when Napoleon decided that if people were sipping champagne and supping on lobster Thermidor, they'd be unlikely to rebel again.

Citizens were granted the "freedom of pleasure" and restaurants began to compete with each other for ornate décor and salacious entertainment. They were featured in travelogues and became tourist attractions in their own right.

The restaurant became the symbol of the "new" France in much the same way that the wine bar became a symbol of Thatcherite Britain, a place where striped-shirted city traders knocked back expensive bottles of wine in ostentatious displays of newly-made wealth.

“Intended or not, restaurants have always been symbols of transformation,” says William Sitwell, author of The Restaurant: A History of Eating Out. “They can signpost both the decline and success of a nation—or indeed an Empire. The extraordinary sophistication of the dining scene of ancient Pompeii was indicative of the Roman Empire’s vision breadth, sophistication and prosperity. While, the grim restaurant scene of the United Kingdom after the Second World War showed quite how the horrors and disruption of conflict had damaged the country's food, culture and palate.”

Fast-forward 75 years and the UK’s restaurant trade was buoyant and flourishing. The late designer and restaurateur Sir Terence Conran described London’s dining scene as the “absolute envy of the world” but

COVID and its repercussions has caused damage the extent of which is not yet known.

“We have experienced disruption on a scale hitherto unknown in our sector,” laments Kate Nicholls, chief executive of UK Hospitality. “Venues have been restricted to either takeaway only, or to opening at a fraction of capacity. Businesses' ability to generate revenue has been severely undermined and consumer confidence has taken a beating.”

To get through the most testing of times restaurateurs have been forced to think far outside the takeaway box. The Roux brothers’ Michelin-starred La Gavroche, the restaurant which was at the forefront of the UK’s post-war dining

“RESTAURANTS CAN SIGNPOST BOTH THE DECLINE AND SUCCESS OF A NATION—OR INDEED AN EMPIRE”

transformation, launched an e-shop selling Gavroche memorabilia and wine. Renowned Danish chef, René Redzepi announced that his famous Copenhagen Michelin starred restaurant, Noma would be serving hamburgers. And, in a move that almost brought us back to pre-revolutionary France, chef and restaurant owner Adam Handling, owner of five food and drink venues

across London, including the flagship Frog in Covent Garden, launched a fine dining in your own home venture with considerable success. "Hame"—the Scottish word for home—delivers pre-prepared high-end restaurant food (think lobster and Wagyu beef) with a code for an accompanying online chef video tutorial so that people could enjoy his restaurant food in their own home (his dishes weren’t suitable for takeaway).

Across the country and across the globe restaurants have adopted similar survival strategies but many did not make it. Big names like Pizza Express and burger chain Byron were forced to close restaurants and cut jobs, Carluccio's went

“CATERING IS AS FULL OF SERENDIPITY AS THE HISTORY OF THE RESTAURANT IS FULL OF UNINTENDED OUTCOMES”

into administration as did Mark Hix’s restaurant empire. Others are teetering on the verge of an uncertain future and the challenge of catering to a nation whose economy has shrunk and customers whose finances are stretched.

Greek restaurateurs found themselves in a similar position following the country's debt crisis,

which began in 2010. This cut deep into the pockets of ordinary Greeks, but restaurants adapted and met their desire to continue eating out and socialising. They changed their menus, dropped their prices, tightened up their turnaround times and turned cities like Thessaloniki into thriving gourmet hotspots. Former banks became pizzerias selling single slices with a beer for a cheap €3 a pop, former car salesmen opened hole in the wall souvlaki stalls and coffee shops took on fortune tellers, hoping to give customers a bit of hope by reading good things from the grounds of their coffees.

“It would be a brave person to put money on what might emerge from this crisis,” says Kate Nicholls. “The important point to remember is that when we return to a degree of normality, restaurants will be an essential part of life.”

And perhaps the history of the restaurant industry is reason

enough for hope. Many familiar foodstuffs and dishes were created by mistake: cheese when an Arab nomad decided to transport milk in a container made from an animal's stomach, Worcestershire sauce after a failed attempt by John Lea and William Perrins to recreate a muchloved Indian sauce, and potato crisps when a customer at a restaurant in Saratoga Springs complained his French Fries were too thick.

Catering is as full of serendipity as the history of the restaurant is full of unintended outcomes. “The French revolutionary Maximillien Robespierre did not foresee that his politics would usher in an era of fine dining,” says William Sitwell. “Nor did Richard and Maurice McDonald predict their businesses spiral would make their names synonymous with the burger, and no one imagined that Yoshiaki Shiraishi would raise the global consumption of sushi by inventing a system of serving it on a conveyor belt.” n

Before I adopted Dyngo, he spent nine months sniffing bombs and saving lives in Afghanistan. Could I help him settle back into civilian life?

BY Rebecca Frankel FROM SMITHSONIAN

MY DOG THE WAR HERO

It was late—an indistinguishable, blearyeyed hour. In front of me was a large dog, snapping his jaws so hard that his teeth gave a loud clack with each bark. His eyes were locked on me, desperate for the toy in my hand. But he wasn’t playing—he was freaking out.

As I cautiously held my ground, his bark morphed from a yelp to a shout. Then he gave a rumbling growl. That was when my unease gave way to something far more primal: fear.

This was no ordinary dog. Dyngo, a ten-year-old, had been trained to propel his six-stone body toward insurgents, locking his jaws around them. He’d served three tours in Afghanistan, weathering grenade blasts and firefights. This dog had saved thousands of lives. Now he was in my flat in Washington, DC. Just 72 hours earlier, I had travelled across the country to retrieve Dyngo from Luke Air Force Base near Phoenix, Arizona, so that he could live out his remaining years with me in civilian retirement.

That first night, May 9, 2016, after we’d settled into my hotel room, Dyngo sat on the bed waiting for me. When I got under the covers, he stretched across the blanket, his weight heavy and comforting against my side. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt his body twitch, and I smiled: Dyngo is a dog who dreams.

The next morning, I gave him a toy

and went to shower. When I emerged from the bathroom, it was like stepping into a henhouse massacre. Feathers floated in the air. Fresh rips ran through the white sheets. In the middle of the bed was Dyngo, panting over a pile of shredded pillows. Throughout the morning, his rough play left scratches where his teeth had broken the skin through my jeans.

On the flight home, Dyngo was allowed to sit at my feet in the roomy first row, but he soon had bouts of vomiting in between his attempts to shred the blanket I’d brought him. The pilot announced Dyngo’s military status, inspiring applause from the whole cabin. When we reached my flat, we both collapsed from exhaustion. It would be our last bit of shared peace for many months.

I met Dyngo in 2012 at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas. I was working on a book, War Dogs: Tales of Canine Heroism, History and Love, and had heard about how Dyngo had saved many lives in Afghanistan. His bravery had earned him and his handler, Staff Sergeant Justin Kitts, a Bronze Star.

In early 2011, Kitts and Dyngo boarded a helicopter on their way to a remote outpost in Afghanistan. Dyngo wore a wide choke chain and a vest that said “MWD Police K-9” to indicate that he was a military working dog.

The plan for the day was familiar. The platoon from the US Army’s 101st

Airborne Division would make its way on foot to nearby villages, connecting with community elders to find out whether Taliban operatives were planting improvised explosive devices (IEDs) in the area. Kitts and Dyngo walked in front to clear the road ahead. After six months of these scouting missions, Kitts trusted that Dyngo would keep him safe.

They were on a path in a field a little more than half a mile outside the outpost when Dyngo’s ears perked up, his tail stiffened and his sniffing intensified. It wasn’t a full alert, but Kitts knew Dyngo well enough to know he’d picked up the odour of an IED. He signalled the platoon leader. “There’s something over there, or there’s not,” Kitts said. “But my dog is showing me enough. We should not continue going that way.”

The rest of the soldiers took cover while Kitts walked Dyngo to the other end of the path to clear a secure route out. They’d gone barely 270 metres when Kitts saw Dyngo’s nose start to work faster. His ears perked and his tail stopped. He was on odour again. If Dyngo was right, there were two bombs: one obstructing each path out of the field. They were trapped. Then the gunfire started. Kitts grabbed Dyngo and

pulled him down to the ground, his back against a mud wall. The next thing Kitts heard was a whistling sound, high and fast, flying past them at close range. Just feet from where they were sitting, an explosion shook the ground. Dyngo whimpered and whined, his thick tail tucked between his legs. The grenade explosion had registered much deeper and louder to his canine ears. Knowing he had to distract Dyngo, Kitts grabbed a twig, and both dog and handler engaged in a manic tug-of-war until Dyngo relaxed. Then Kitts dropped the branch and returned fire over the wall.

It turned out that Dyngo’s nose had been spot-on. There were IEDs buried in both places. The insurgents had planned to trap the unit in the grape field and attack them there.

Air Force staff sergeant Justin Kitts and Dyngo on duty in Afghanistan

Altogether, during their nine months in Afghanistan, Kitts and Dyngo spent more than 1,000 hours patrolling. They discovered more than 420lbs of explosives and were credited with keeping at least 30,000 US, Afghan and coalition forces safe.

the UnIteD StateS has deployed thousands of dogs to combat zones. Depending on the war, their tours have lasted months to years. When it’s time for war dogs to retire, the law specifies they be released into the care of their former handlers, if possible. The second option is “other persons capable of humanely caring for these dogs” and the third is lawenforcement agencies.

According to Douglas Miller, the former manager of the US Department of Defence Military Working Dog programme, retired war dogs are in higher demand than they were a decade ago. “When I first took this job in 2009, there were about 150 people on the list,” he says. “That has now grown to about 1,200.” But not every civilian anticipates the adjustments the dogs will have to make.

When we met, Kitts told me he’d always hoped he could bring Dyngo home, but his daughter was allergic to dogs. He said he was impressed with how much Dyngo, usually stoical

around new people, seemed to like me. When Dyngo laid his head in my lap, I felt the tug of love. Kitts asked whether I would consider taking Dyngo when he was set to retire.

For me, adopting Dyngo would mean adopting new schedules, responsibilities and costs, including a move to a larger, more expensive, dogfriendly apartment. The list of reasons to say no was inarguably long. Even so, over time, that little feeling tugged harder. I weighed all the pros and cons and then disregarded the cons.

“yoU SoUnD ScareD”

I’d called Kitts as soon as I heard Dyngo growl. He counselled me through that first night back in DC, and intuited that Dyngo needed a crate to feel safe. My friend Claire had

RAAB/INSTITUTE

Rebecca Frankel formed a bond with Dyngo in 2012 while researching a book about war dogs

a spare one and helped me put it together. We’d barely had the door in place before Dyngo launched himself inside, his relief palpable and pitiable.

The next day, and during the rest of the first week, I had just one objective: to wear Dyngo out. I chose the most arduous walking routes, the steepest leaf-strewn trails. The pace was punishing.

Other challenges presented themselves. Dyngo had arrived with scabs and open sores on his underbelly. Tests revealed a bacterial infection that required antibiotics and medicated shampoo baths. Since I could not lift Dyngo into the bathtub, I would shut us both into the small bathroom and do the best I could with a bucket and washcloth, leaving water and dog hair on the floor.

Then there was Dyngo’s nearly uncontrollable drive for toys—or anything resembling a toy. Instilled in him by the rewards he’d received during his training, this urge sent him after every ball, stuffed animal or abandoned glove we passed. The distant echo of a bouncing basketball filled me with dread.

My desperation grew when Dyngo began to twist himself like a pretzel to clamp down on the fur and flesh above his hind leg, gripping himself in rhythmic bites, a compulsion known as flank sucking.

Struggling for order, I set up a rigid Groundhog Day–like routine. Each day, we would wake at the same hour,

eat meals at the same hour, travel the same walking paths and sit in the same spot on the floor together after every meal.

I don’t remember when I started to sing to him, but under the street lamps on our late-night walks, I began a quiet serenade of verses from Simon and Garfunkel or Peter, Paul and

ON OUR WALKS, I WONDERED HOW TO CONVEY TO DYNGO THAT THERE WERE NO BOMBS HERE

Mary. I have no idea whether anyone else ever heard me. In my mind, there was only this dog and my need to calm him.

One night that summer, I called my father and told him things weren’t getting better. “Give it time,” he said. “You’ll end up loving each other, you’ll see.” When Dyngo would pull away, straining against my hold on the leash, I found that hard to believe.

Sometimes, when Dyngo stared at me from behind the bars of his borrowed crate, I wondered whether he was thinking back to his days of leaping out of helicopters. Did he crave the adrenaline rush of hopping over walls and the struggle of human limbs between his teeth? What if, in my attempt to offer him a life of love

After months of adjustment, Dyngo now walks in his neighbourhood without feeling that he’s on duty

and relaxation, I had stolen his sense of purpose?

mIlItary DogS get to a point where they’re living for their jobs, just as human service members do, says Matt Hatala, a former Marine handler who deployed to Afghanistan. “That has been their identity—that is it—for years and years. And when you get out, you kind of go, ‘What the heck do I do now?’ And you can never really find that replacement.

“That dog’s been through situations you’re not going to be able to understand and might not be able to handle,” Hatala continues. He acknowledges that things weren’t always easy after he brought home Chaney, his former canine partner. The black Lab was still ready to work, but there wasn’t any work to do. Chaney

developed a fear of thunderstorms—which was strange, Hatala says, because he had never before been scared of thunder, or even of gunfire.

Among the former handlers who’d worked with Dyngo was Staff Sergeant Jessie Keller, who had arranged the adoption. As Dyngo and I struggled to adapt to our new life, Keller offered thoughtful suggestions. But something changed for me when Keller sent a text shortly after I’d adopted Dyngo— “If u don’t feel u can keep him please let me know and I will take him back.”

In some ways, this was the thing I most wanted to hear. But a resolve took hold: I was not going to give up this dog.

During our early months together, Dyngo admirably maintained his military duties. As we made our way down the hall from my flat, he would drop his nose down to the seam of each door we passed and give it a swift but thorough sniff. He was still hunting for bombs.

Every time I clipped on his leash, he was ready to do his job, even if, in his mind, I wasn’t ready to do mine. He’d turn up his face, expectant and chiding. And when I didn’t give a command, he would carry on, picking up my slack. I tried to navigate him away from the line of cars parked

along the leafy streets, where he tried to set his nose toward the curves of the tyres. How could I convey to him that there were no bombs here? How could I make him understand that his nose was now entirely his own? Over the next nine months or so, Dyngo gradually learned to let his guard down, and I adjusted to life with a retired war dog.

It haS now been more than three years since I brought Dyngo home. He has learned how to play, maybe for the first time, without anxiety. The borrowed crate was dismantled two years ago. His flank sucking has all but disappeared. All the rugs lie in place, the couch cushions and pillows sit idle and unthreatened. Dyngo and I are rarely more than a few feet apart—he follows me around, my lumbering guardian. He is now truly my dog. Every once in a while, as I run my thumb along the velvety inside of his left ear, I see the faint blue of his ID tattoo, #L606. He exhales a low grumble, but it’s one of deep contentment. I can take Dyngo out without worry now. He is gentle with dogs who are smaller or frailer than he is. He has even befriended a feisty black cat.

Dyngo’s dozen years of rough-andtumble life are finally catching up with him. His stand-at-attention ears have fallen into a crumple. The marmalade brown of his muzzle is swept with swirls of white and grey. He is missing teeth and walks with a bit of a limp.

early In 2018, Dyngo and I drove up to my parents’ home. It was an unusually balmy day in February, and we rode with the windows down, Dyngo’s head raised into the slanting sun. He made friends with the neighbours’ dogs, dragged branches across the muddy yard and took long evening walks with my father in the downy snow.

Back in DC, when we pulled into our building’s circular driveway after two weeks away, I looked on as he jumped down onto the concrete. His face changed as he reoriented himself to the surroundings, finding his footing along the uneven sidewalks and making a beeline toward his favourite tree. As we entered my flat, he nosed his way inside, then pranced back and forth between his bed and bowls. He danced toward me, his eyes filled to the brim with an expression that required no interpretation: We’re home! We’re home! n

FEELING OFF-COLOUR

The "ugliest colour in the world" is Pantone 448C, a drab dark brown often used for plain cigarette packaging Source: theguardian.com

A "hooker," whose job is to pull swimmers in need of help from the -1°C water, walks alongside two competitors at the 2020 Memphremagog Winter Swim Festival

COME ON IN, THE WATER’S COLD

More and more swimmers are embracing ice swimming as an actual sport. To make sense of the lunacy, writer Marty Munson dives in from m en’s HealtH

“I

don’t want to scare you, but if you don’t have a little anxiety about being out there, don’t go out,” says Greg O’Connor to the 93 swimmers who have committed to launching themselves into a lap pool that has been carved into thick ice. “It means you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”

It’s a Saturday morning in late February 2020 at the Memphremagog Winter Swim Festival, held over two days at Lake Memphremagog in Newport, Vermont.

O’Connor, 51, who serves as safety director for the annual festival, is holding a briefing inside a tavern that doubles as a staging area. The popularity of ice swimming has spiked in recent years, so about half the field is new.

As basically the only subzero event in North America, the Winter Swim Fest makes its own rules. The frigid “pool” is limited to two lanes and 25 metres. Races range from 25 to 200 metres and include the freestyle and butterfly strokes and various relays. While parka-clad volunteers

clock times, competitors’ race attire must be chillingly confined to a cap, goggles, and a standard swimsuit.

This setup means no flip turns (“If you turn wrong, you end up under the ice,” O’Connor says). No holding the ladder or the wall too long at the end (“Your hand can freeze to it”). And no matter what, stay in touch with how you’re feeling (“You can go downhill really fast”).

It started as a half-joke in the winter of 2014. Race director Phil White, then in his mid-sixties, posted a photo of himself on Facebook standing on the ice of Lake Memphremagog with a threefoot circular saw and the phrase, “Anybody want to go swimming?”

Darren Miller, a marathon swimmer and race organiser, saw the post and called to ask, “Are you serious?” One year later, 40 hardy swimmers turned up for the first event, and over the next half decade participation doubled with little obvious reward at stake. Bragging rights and pool records aside, the top finishers receive little more than Vermont maple syrup and homemade beef jerky.

After the briefing, several swimmers around me chatter nervously about how maybe this

Getting in “feels like someone took a large steel band and clenched it around your chest”

wasn’t such a good idea. I can empathise. A warm-water marathon swimmer, I’ve signed up for the 25-metre breaststroke. In less than five hours, I too will be forcing myself into the frigid water.

Cold-water swimming is considered “ice swimming” when it’s done at temperatures of 5°C or less. It’s not easy to be in water that cold for very long. While it takes about 30 minutes for hypothermia to set in, you can feel sluggish and winded far faster.

The Winter Swim Festival—where the water temperature is 0°C—sets the time limit for its longest events at four minutes. But that hasn’t stopped people from going longer elsewhere. Last year’s Winter Swimming World Championships, in Bled, Slovenia, hosted more than 1,000 swimmers from 36 countries and included a one-kilometre race that took people between 18 and 34 minutes to

complete. Extremists push things even further by completing ice miles—about 50 per cent longer.

At Lake Memphremagog, the lineup contains some ice milers—notably Elaine K Howley, who has also earned the triple crown of swimming (crossing Catalina Channel and the English Channel and circumnavigating Manhattan)— and a little bit of everyone else. They range in age from 12 to 77 and run the gamut from serious ultrarunners to guys who’ve had cancer and heart attacks, and even some who aren’t all that nuts about going in water over their heads.

Plenty of high-profile cold-water advocates like Wim Hof and Britain’s Ross Edgley espouse the health benefits of exposing yourself to extremely cold water. But the diverse pods of people who have turned up in Vermont seem driven by something more communal. They have cheeky team names like the Buckeye Bluetits

Shawn Booth cuts through the ice on Lake Memphremagog to create a swimming pool for the Winter Swim Festival. Ice will begin to form again within 90 minutes

and Boston’s L-Street Brownies, who sport T-shirts with the slogan “When L freezes over.”

After a few hours of competition, some of the shorter events give way to the 200-metre freestyle. About 30 swimmers line up inside the tavern, including Louise Hyder-Darlington, who stares out the door into snow. “It’s focus time,” she says under her breath, unsmiling.

The shock of the cold can hit hard, make your heart beat faster, and literally take your breath away. Rick Born, 57, a returning Winter Swim Festival contender who’s also swum in competitions abroad, admits that getting in “feels like someone took a large steel band and clenched it around your chest.” That can make you involuntarily gasp for air and suck in water.

The more often you get into cold water, the more you can temper that response, says Michael Tipton, a professor at the Extreme Environments Laboratory at the University of Portsmouth. Even five to ten three-minute immersions within a short period of time can cut down the involuntary reaction.

In longer events, the next challenge that hits you, Tipton explains, is “the cooling of the superficial nerves and muscles, particularly in the arms.”

Says swimmer Thomas

Young-Bayer, 40, “Your muscles get really cold and stop doing what you ask them to… It’s like swimming through jelly.”

Even for ice milers and openwater champions, the 200 in this 0°C water is no joke. Two of the fastest competitors all day, Christopher Graefe, 45, and Steve Rouch, 35, speed through the first 100, but by the last 25, even they start slowing down (Rouch wins in a swift 2:38.36).

Ice swimming reveals your vulnerabilities quickly. If you haven’t had good sleep or good food, you feel fatigued faster. The edge of your physical and mental capacity seems closer. “I think it’s more mental than physical,” says Howley. You need to focus on what you’re doing and how you’re feeling.

Even getting in the water is mental—working through the challenge is part of the reward. Another return is in the post-race rush. “There’s a feeling of being alive that’s hard to put into words that the cold amplifies,” says Born.

Suddenly cooling your skin cues your body to release a flood of moodand energy-boosting chemicals, explains Tipton. “You become active and alert, and that can last for some time after you leave the water.”

That may help swimmers tough out unpleasant sensations. “The first five minutes can be so painful and you think, I don’t want to do this,” says Talbott Crowell, 52, who

has competed here for the past five years. “But when you’re swimming in training, within ten minutes, your body goes numb and there’s this adrenaline and a thrill. I don’t understand it, but it’s incredible.”

After lunch, volunteers with skimmers harvest the thin layer of ice that has crusted over the pool. Next is the 50-metre freestyle. More than 50 people are participating.

Shivering swimmers are escorted into the recovery area, a small, warm building with sofas, blankets, and buckets of room-temperature water to gently thaw your hands and feet.

You can’t warm up too fast, or the cold blood in your extremities will return to your core too quickly, lowering your body temperature and blood pressure, which may cause fainting and heart palpitations.

Recovery is an individual thing, depending on the day, your body, and how long you swam. It might take ten minutes, maybe 20, maybe 60.

By about 2:30pm, the energy in the warming room shifts as fatigue sets in. “Normally when we ice-swim, we do it once and we have that rush,” says Graefe. “But here, we’re doing it again and again. It just becomes exhausting,” he says.

People start to drop out of their

Sam Levinson celebrates as she is wrapped up and escorted to the warming hut by her teammates from the L Street Brownies after competing in the 200-metre race

races. Ice swimming is tiring, yet nobody would really call this conventional exercise. What passes for “rigorous training” might consist of a ten-minute dip and maybe an axe to create the training spot if your local pond freezes over. And maybe that’s part of the appeal. “It’s a fairly portable, or quasi-accessible, means of doing something really outrageous that looks really hard,” says Howley.

Igrew more anxious as we approached go time, worried about how fast I could get my breath under control once the cold shock hit.

Finally the time comes. My heart beats faster than usual as volunteers escort me onto the slippery ice deck. They help me kick off my shoes and thermal tights.

My lane mate, 49-year-old

ultraswimmer Derek Tucker, and I descend wooden steps and stand on a submerged platform that runs between them. We fist-bump, then grab the ice-crusted rail behind us in a set position. Someone shouts “Go,” and we’re off. Within a few strokes I’m able to duck my head under the water. My 25-metre race takes all of 25.97 seconds—and even though Tucker beats me to the far wall, I finish tingling and ecstatic.

The hallmark of this festival, as much as it is the ice pool itself, is the wrap—the move a volunteer does with a towel or giant robe to bundle the swimmer back up when they emerge from the water. Now it’s my turn to feel it, as the volunteers make sure my frozen feet get into my shoes and my robe is zipped.

Earlier, I spoke with one of the

Marty Munson emerges from the water ecstatic after completing her first icy race

young up-and-comers in the sport, the Dutch athlete Fergil Hesterman, 28, who described the ice-swimming community as “one big family that helps each other out.” It’s easy to feel what he means.

My time placed me tenth out of 21 women—and yet I spent the rest of the day feeling victorious. I’d tapped into the mindover-matter part of the sport, which is incredibly satisfying.

Toward the end of the day, more names get crossed out, more people are re-paired up, and everyone rolls with it. By dinnertime, it’s like Christmas night, people strolling around in their pyjamas (wear your PJs, get one free shot of vodka from the bar) and feeling the effects of adrenaline fatigue, of pride, and of being with people who totally get you.

The next day, the temperature remains low. That’s lucky, in a way, because warmer weather caused the water at the recent British Ice Swimming Championships to hit a balmy 6°C—too warm to be considered an ice swim. At least one extremist, Lewis Pugh, a BritishSouth African endurance swimmer and activist, is embracing that sad

fact by doing swims in places like the North Pole to bring attention to global warming.

The final event of the day is a set of spirited relays. There’s a flurry of activity as swimmers and volunteers race around to coordinate who’s about to go into the water, and to make sure everyone exiting the pool is wrapped and cared for. Choruses of “Sorry! Sorry!” and “Go! Go!” mingle in the air while volunteers shuffle dry, warm clothes around on deck.

Cheers erupt everywhere—for your team, the other team, the volunteers. I’m cheering too. It’s all, as Tucker once warned me, so silly and unnecessary, and yet energising and fun and empowering to watch.

“I think the sport is growing because it connects us to a real feeling of being alive,” says Margaret Gadzic, 41, a soft-spoken swimmer and organiser on the Buckeye Bluetits. “This is something you can do to feel your breath catch, your heart race, and your blood pump in your veins.”

Once the commotion stopped, the ice returned, and barely 24 hours later the pool sealed over. Nothing lasts forever. But there’s always someone willing to crack another spot open. n

Story Time

Instead of saying “Once upon a time,” Korean fantasies usually begin with, “Back when tigers used to smoke”

Source: waywordradio.org/when-tigers-smoked

men’s HealtH (aPril 30, 2020), coPyriGHt © 2020 By Hearst maGazines media, inc.

Romantic Reykjavík My Great Escape:

When my partner suggested that we travel to Iceland in the middle of the winter, I’ll be honest: I wasn’t thrilled. I’ve never been a big fan of the cold, or the long dark nights of winter. But I ended up in Iceland anyway, and I have never been more surprised at how beautiful a place could be.

Having packed every warm item of clothing that I could find, I stepped out of the airport, and found that Iceland was every bit as cold as I had imagined it would be.

We got onto a lovely heated coach and ended up in the centre of the capital city, Reykjavík, where we checked into a beautifully warm, self-catering accommodation, right next to Hallgrímskirkja church.

Everything about Reykjavík surprised me. I loved the museums,

the churches and the bars, and there was so much culture to absorb. We even visited a penis museum, where I learned far more about mammal genitalia than I ever needed to know!

There were so many well organised coach tours to choose from during our stay in Iceland. We plumped first for the Golden Circle Tour, where we experienced some of the

Claire Bradley from Buckinghamshire discovers Iceland’s frozen wonderland

most beautiful sights I have ever seen in my life.

Thingvellir National Park was definitely the highlight of the trip, as was the Northern Lights tour. While the lights did not put on the most spectacular of displays (we were actually told that we could rebook as the tour company didn’t think they’d been bright enough to count as an official sighting), I still found it magical and exciting to be exploring the snow-covered landscape in the dark, chasing such a stunning natural phenomenon.

One exciting trip took us along the south coast, where we explored the small villgae of Vík í Mýrdal, famous for its lovely little red-roofed church and eerie rock formations. We were there as the sun began to set, and the sky put on a very otherworldly display for us.

During our stay, we also had time to visit geysers, waterfalls and glaciers, all of which were stunning. We were only in Iceland for a week, yet it was possible to pack in so many adventures. Everything about Iceland enchanted me, from the breathtaking natural beauty, to the traditional elvish folklore.

My only regret? That I didn’t discover this wonderful country years ago! n

Tell us about your favourite holiday (send a photo too) and if we print it, we’ll pay £50. Email excerpts@readersdigest.co.uk

Beaches, beautiful villas, watersports, rainforest activities and rum bars are classic Caribbean temptations, all allied to that warm weather and warmer temperament. Abandoned US radar bases? Not so much.

Visitors to Trinidad, however, should definitely check out a former tracking station on the island’s North West Peninsula, not far from capital Port of Spain. There are various reasons to do so.

Firstly, for the intriguing history. During the Second World War, this whole lush peninsula was leased to the US by its British Empire overseers for the construction of a naval base. Two decades later, as part of an Early Warning System during the tense Cold War, that scaled-back base had instead been repurposed to alert the US to imminent missile attacks. It was one of the first such tracking stations to be constructed.

Operating until 1971, despite much objection, the station gradually became symbolic in the fight for sovereignty led by Eric Williams (later the Prime Minister); in having been sold and built without local-authority permission, it represented every violation of Trinidadian rights.

If you don’t visit for the politics, do so for the photography. With that large dish and its lighthouse-like tower ringed by lush trees and glittering seas, the abandoned base has a cinematic setting. Get there by driving to the Bamboo Cathedral—a tree-hugged avenue popular with newlyweds—and then walking uphill.

Or go for the stargazing, an increasingly popular activity in this less-developed Caribbean corner. Local adventure firm Nature Trekking in Trinidad & Tobago runs guided hikes to the site on certain full moons (naturetrektnt.com). n

By Richard Mellor

TRACKING STATION Trinidad

Do You Really Need An ISA?

Andy Webb on whether you need an Individual Savings Account, and how to get the most out of it, if you do

Andy Webb is a personal finance journalist and runs the award-winning money blog, Be Clever With Your Cash

Have you got some money put aside?

For the last couple of decades the Individual Savings Account, aka the ISA, has been an integral part of the savers toolkit through giving us the chance to earn tax-free.

But with other allowances helping us to do the same thing with our savings and investments, it might be that ISAs aren’t really worth it.

With the financial year ending soon, and with it the annual “ISA deadline,” here’s my guide to getting the most from ISAs.

THERE’S AN ANNUAL ALLOWANCE

You can put up to £20,000 of new money into ISAs each financial year, running between April 6 and April 5. This allowance starts again each year, when you can start paying in again or open a new account.

YOU CAN TRANSFER MONEY BETWEEN ISAS

If you’ve got old ISAs earning very little interest you can move the money to new accounts with better rates.

Whatever you do, don’t close the old account and withdraw money. Instead you should look to transfer between ISAs. Not all new accounts will allow transfers in, so check.

THERE ARE FOUR TYPES OF ISA

You can spread your allowance as you like between the different ISA types, or you can stick to just one type. But you can only pay into one of each type each year—whether it’s an existing one or a new one you open.

CASH ISA

With this account you’ll earn tax-free interest on cash savings, generally easy access or fixed for a set time.

But with interest rates consistently low of late, this type of ISA is largely redundant. That’s down to the Personal Savings Allowance (PSA) which means we can all earn up to £1,000 in interest a year tax-free, wherever it’s held.

To provide you with a bit of context, you’d need an interest rate paying 1% on a pot worth £100,000 to breach that allowance. The former is unlikely and the latter, if you even have that much money, is far more than the majority of us will need in a cash account.

So they’re pointless? Well, for most of us, yes. It’s better to find the highest paying interest rate wherever that might be.

But they can still be useful for

anyone who will earn more interest than the PSA allows.

That £1,000 allowance is for basic rate taxpayers, but it reduces to £500 for higher rate taxpayers. And there’s no allowance for additional rate taxpayers. So ISAs will help anyone earning interest above those levels.

It’s also worth noting that if the PSA allowance was reduced or interest rates were to rise, then even more of us could start paying tax on our savings. So using your allowance now could hedge against potential changes.

SO ARE THEY POINTLESS? WELL, FOR MOST OF US, YES

STOCKS & SHARES ISA

This ISA is for investments, and you don’t pay tax on any returns made. It’s worth saying the £20,000 annual allowance is on the money you pay in rather than the value of the investment. If it goes down below that threshold it doesn’t mean you can pay more in.

For the casual investor though, there are once more other allowances which give you tax-free returns outside the ISA. Each year you can earn £2,000 in dividends before tax is due, and the capital gains allowance is currently £12,300 a year.

YOU CAN SPREAD YOUR ALLOWANCE AS YOU LIKE BETWEEN THE DIFFERENT ISA TYPES, OR YOU CAN STICK TO JUST ONE TYPE

Still, with most investment platforms offering ISAs for the same fees as non-ISAs, it makes sense to use the ISA “wrapper.”

LIFETIME ISA

As well as the return you’ll get in a “Lisa” (it can be in cash or in investments) you’ll also get a 25% bonus from the government each year. Sounds good, right?

Well once money is added it can only be withdrawn penalty free for two purposes—buying your first home and at retirement at 60 years old. The former can be a great way to boost your deposit, though there

are restrictions. The latter can be beaten by workplace pensions for most people.

It’s also only available to underforties, though you can keep paying in money and getting the bonus until you are 50. The Lifetime ISA has a smaller £4,000 annual allowance.

INNOVATIVE ISA

These ISAs allow you to invest money via peer-to-peer lending. Though returns can potentially be high, the risk is you’re relying on the businesses with your money being able to pay you. Right now that won’t always be the case. n

On The Money

Andy Webb

Q: I’ve accidentally exceeded the amount I am allowed to pay into my new ISA and I’m worried about the consequences. Will anything bad happen and do I need to do anything to remedy the mistake?

- Harriet, 59

A: Often when you pay more than your £20,000 allowance into a single ISA, the provider will return the money to you. But it sounds like that’s not the case for you.

It’s easy to see how overpaying can happen, particularly if you have multiple types of ISA or have withdrawn some money in the year, before putting more in. It can happen too when you have ISAs from different years and accidentally pay into both old and new accounts.

Don’t try to fix it yourself by removing the excess savings. You can wait until the end of the tax year for HMRC to get in touch to sort things out—and probably a warning letter too.

Or, to get ahead of things you can go direct to them now via the HMRC helpline (0300 200 3300). Let them know the details of the ISA with too much money and they’ll help you sort it out.

Don’t worry too much about this—there won’t be a penalty. Of course, you won’t get the tax-relief on the interest or returns earned from that additional amount. But don’t forget you’ve still got your personal allowance for savings and the dividend and capital gains allowances for investments which might cover the excess. n

A TASTE OF HOME: DAYASHANKAR SHARMA

Stuffed Tandoori Squid

There are so many dishes which I like to cook at home, but this is one of my favourites because I love fresh seafood. While I was in Sri Lanka opening a new five star hotel, there was fresh seafood available in abundance; this was where I tasted fried baby squid for the first time and thought I could put my own twist on

it and create my own recipe by following traditional Indian methods. After trying many variations and ideas, Stuffed Baby Squid has become a favourite; it’s a dish that I cook at home and it has become a popular choice on the menu at Rajesh Suri’s Grand Trunk Road restaurant in South Woodford.

METHOD

1 Heat a splash of vegetable oil in a saucepan over a medium heat. Add the mustard seeds and curry leaves—once they begin to crackle, add the turmeric powder and cook for 1 minute

2 Add the tilapia, prawns and crab meat and cook for 2 minutes, then stir in the red chilli powder, deggi mirch powder, ginger, mango and green chillies. Sprinkle with a pinch of salt and cook, stirring occasionally, for 8 minutes over a low heat

3 Once the fish is cooked, stir in the coconut milk powder, cook for a final 2 minutes then set aside to cool

4 While the stuffing cools, prepare the marinade. Fry the mustard seeds, ginger, chilli and turmeric for 1 minute in a splash of oil, then mix into the Greek yogurt with a pinch of salt

5 Make the mango salsa by mixing together all the ingredients in a bowl

6 Once the stuffing has cooled to room temperature, stuff the baby squids with the mixture, packing it in tightly. Coat the stuffed squid with the marinade and leave in the fridge for at least 30 minutes

7 To cook the squid, thread them onto skewers. Preheat an oven to as high as it will go, then cook the squid for 8 minutes until tender throughout and very lightly charred. Serve with the mango salsa

Hacks: How Chefs Make Dishes Go From Good to Great (£14.99, Food Publishing) is out now, featuring the culinary secrets of 25 leading chefs, including Dayashankar Sharma

INGREDIENTS:

Starter: Serves 4

Cooking time: 1 hour 30 minutes

For the squid:

• 16 baby squid, cleaned and prepped

• 300g of tilapia, roughly chopped

• 200g of crab meat

• 200g of king prawns, roughly chopped

• 100g of green mango, finely chopped

• 1 tsp black mustard seeds

• 10 curry leaves

• 15g of ginger, finely chopped

• 10g of green chillies, finely chopped

• 1 tsp turmeric

• 5g of red chilli powder

• 10g of deggi mirch, (a mixed Indian chilli powder)

• 50g of coconut milk powder

• vegetable oil, for cooking

• salt, to taste

For the marinade:

• 1 tsp black mustard seeds

• 15g of ginger, finely chopped

• 10g of green chillies, finely chopped

• 2 tsp turmeric

• 100g of Greek yogurt

For the mango salsa:

• 50g of mango chutney

• 20g of coriander, finely chopped

• 20g of mint, finely chopped

• 15g of red chillies, finely chopped

World Kitchen

Sweden: Raggmunk

For a hearty breakfast, lunch or an in-between-meal snack, try this beloved Swedish staple. Raggmunk literally means “hairy monk”, but it’s actually the name for a potato pancake originating from southeastern Sweden, where they’re so popular that they come in ready-to-use packages to make them on the go. A distant cousin of the Jewish latke, raggmunk are usually served with fried bacon and/or cranberry jam and are really simple to prepare!

Method:

1 Whisk together the milk and flour in a bowl

2 Add the salt, egg and potatoes. Mix well

3 Preheat the oven 100°C

4 Heat a small knob of butter in a pan and, most importantly, prepare one raggmunk at a time

5 Roll out ¼ of the mixture into a pancake and, using a spatula, even out the surface so that the grated potatoes are not in a pile

6 Fry over medium heat for about 4 minutes on each side until golden and crispy

7 Gradually pile the fried raggmunk in a large dish and keep them warm in the oven

8 In a skillet, heat the bacon over medium heat until crisp. Place on a paper towel to get rid of extra fat

9 Serve the raggmunk hot with fried bacon and lingonberry jam

Prep time: 45 minutes

Cook time: 30 minutes

Serves: 4

Ingredients:

• 500ml milk

• 50g flour

• 2tsp salt

• 1 egg

• 450g potatoes, peeled and grated

• 10 bacon rashers (optional)

• Lingonberry jam (optional)

• Butter

How To Paint Wooden Floorboards

Revive tired flooring with a lick of paint to give any room a quick and affordable makeover in just a few steps

1

Ensuring that your existing floorboards are in good condition is key to getting a good finish with your paintwork. Fix any loose boards and fill dents and gaps using a good quality wood filler, then sand the surface either by hand or using an electric sander for speed. If the floor already has a thick layer of varnish or old layers of paint on the surface, you may want to strip it right back to the timber for a neater finish.

2

Once the dust has settled, give the floorboards a thorough vacuum and clean, then leave to dry completely. Depending on the floor paint you are using, your project may require a primer to be applied first. If so, apply this using a brush or paint roller and, once dry, lightly sand the surface and wipe clean.

Homes and gardens writer and stylist

Cassie Pryce specialises in interior trends and discovering new season shopping

3

We recommend opting for a specialist floor paint to ensure the finish is durable. A satin base is generally preferable to matt or gloss for flooring, as this can withstand wear and tear without looking shiny. If you’re looking to brighten up a room, go for a light colour like white or pale grey for a Scandi-inspired feel or, to create a cosier and more formal atmosphere, choose a darker shade of paint.

4

It’s best to apply floor paint in two or three thin coats and use a brush to cut in around the edges, before rollering the middle area. Long-handled rollers or paint pads will make the process easier and less arduous. Note that using a brush will leave brush marks, and a roller will have a stippled effect, so it’s up to you which tools to use for the job. Always leave the paint at least 24 hours before walking on or moving furniture back into the room. n

Cleaning Up Our Act

The products we use around our homes everyday might clean up in the short term, but in reality they’re tainting our planet

It seems counter intuitive to imply that cleaning products could be harmful. By their very nature they are removing unsightly grime. However, once you take a look at the ingredients list on the back of the packaging and begin to understand what some of those words mean, the idea that cleaning products could dirty our planet doesn’t seem so ridiculous anymore.

Take bleach, for example. Found in most household cleaning products and excellent at ensuring a sanitary bathroom, once it’s vanished down the drain it starts to mutate and tell a very different tale. When mixed with water, highly toxic products called dioxins are created (among other chemicals) and released. Dioxins are known to be carcinogenic and can harm human and animal reproductive systems. According to the National Centre for Biotechnology Information, research has already shown that our fish populations have been affected by dioxins. While the bleach found in

household products is certainly not an amount we can ignore, it’s nowhere close to the amount produced by large companies. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t all choose to be a little kinder on ourselves and our surroundings when it comes to choosing the chemicals we use at home.

Despite popular opinion, we don’t actually need harsh chemicals to retain a clean home. Many companies now offer non-toxic alternatives and there are several recipes for at-home formulas that are just as effective. For an extremely simple option, soap and water will clean most dirty or greasy surfaces and fabrics. If you’re looking for something a little stronger, bicarbonate of soda and white vinegar is an age-old mixture that works wonderfully on tougher dirt, without being corrosive or harmful.

If you miss the pretty scents that shop-bought products contain, just add some lemon juice or a drop of your favourite essential oil. n

by Jessica Lone Summers

Expert Q&A: Homethings

Tim Keaveney, Founder

What does Homethings do to help our planet? We are reinventing everyday household products to design out the waste. Our first products to market are concentrated cleaning tablets that allow our customers to refill the same bottle using just tap water. These save 100 per cent of the plastic and an estimated 94 per cent of the transport emissions when compared to a conventional cleaning spray. We also believe that using eco friendly and non-toxic ingredients is absolutely “table stakes” for any new product in our industry—all our products use eco friendly ingredients with an emphasis on naturally derived or plantbased formulations.

What are the biggest environmental challenges we currently face from the hygiene industry globally?

In developed countries, the biggest issue is the huge burden that consumption of hygiene products places on our natural resources. That’s most evident in the plastics pollution crisis that we face as a result of the linear consumption model where we use a product and dispose of it.

What changes need to happen to tackle ecocide? According to the Ellen MacArthur Foundation, if we are to reach net zero emissions by 2050, 45 per cent of the carbon savings must come from transitioning to a circular economy. At

the moment, we waste so many valuable resources. I also think we need to hold big corporations’ feet to the fire and use our voices as consumers to demand change. For too long, corporations have used slick PR machines to maintain the status quo by pushing the narrative that it is consumers behaviours and habits that need to change. Big corporations need to lead the way by expediting their responsibilities under the Paris Climate Agreement and fundamentally realigning their businesses around the UN Sustainable Development Goals.

What do you predict for the future?

In my opinion, we are in a mitigation phase. It is increasingly clear that human activity over the past century has already triggered a chain of events that will cause irreversible changes to our planet and our climate. If nothing changes and we don’t go further and faster over the next decade, the consequences this century will be catastrophic. I highly recommend reading The Future We Choose by Christiana Figueres, who negotiated the Paris Climate Agreement, for a stark and factbased look by a true global expert. n

Visit gethomethings. com for more

A Maximalist Case For A Clear Out

If you’re using lockdown as an excuse to streamline your wardrobe, don’t forget to remember your life outside the pandemic, says our fashion expert, Jenessa Williams

The annual "Spring Clean" often feels like an arduous task, one that is best tucked back under the bed until the days are lighter and the need for warmer-weather clothing forces us to finally confront the excess that has accumulated around the edges. But with more time at home on our hands than ever, a global pandemic has really highlighted the things in life that do and don’t spark joy—one of them being our wardrobes.

I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that over the past few months, the only clothing I have really reached for has been of the mismatched, stretch-cotton variety, worn and re-worn until saggy bottoms, gaping waistbands and unravelling hems

are permanent features. This isn’t always a bad thing—in the face of fast fashion and alarming landfill rates, we should be proud of giving our clothing a long and appreciative life. But there needs to be a place for frivolity too. The outlandish party dress that feels as fun as it looks, the heels that require close proximity to seating, the tiny impractical handbag that only survives each clear-out because of the youthful nostalgia woven into its seams… does practicality always have to win out over joy?

As somebody who often struggles to let sentimental things go, the wrangle of the minimalist "capsule wardrobe" is one that always gives me a bit of a headache. Though I find myself unfurling the same familiar favourites from their hangers each day, I like to have choice, or at least the illusion of it. What if getting rid of that cardigan is akin to forgetting the person who bought it for me, or the amazing news I received while I was wearing it? What if those shoes are the perfect fit for the daughter I haven’t yet had? It can be difficult to know where to limit the exhibits of your own life’s museum, or to prophecise which items will

continue to feel like the most keepworthy version of "you".

The answer to most of these things, I’ve found, is eBay. Remembering that there are very few fast-fashion items from the last 20 years that can’t be tracked back down via secondary selling sites takes a lot of the pressure off, as well as that philanthropic glow of sending your unloved clothes off to enjoy a new lease of life. The mere process of browsing is often enough to sate the endorphins craved from an actual spend, but if you do find yourself needing anything new, secondhand shopping can be an affordable way to buy better quality once instead of cheap on repeat.

WE SHOULD BE PROUD OF GIVING OUR CLOTHES A LONG LIFE

If you’ve found yourself tugging on the same cosy leggings and t-shirt without complaint for the last eight months, maybe it’s true that less can indeed be more. But before you do away with your wardrobe entirely, it’s important to remember the fashionable person you were before the pandemic, and can be again.

Hold onto the hope of the life you might still lead when all of this is finally over. If that glittery purse or dry-clean-only gown makes you feel something, I say it’s definitely worth clinging onto. n

Probiotics

Though the world's current focus on germ-management is well founded, our squeaky-clean skin isn't thanking us

What Are They?

A live bacteria, probiotics have long been evidenced as beneficial to our dietary and skin health, allowing us to break down nutrients and helping to regulate our moods through delicate balance of the microbiome (all the material that resides within the body’s tissues and fluids).

What Are The Supposed Benefits?

We spend millions of pounds a year on products that promise to "cleanse" our skin and rid it of any spots and toxins, but it turns out that hanging on to a few of these microbes might actually be beneficial. Regulating your pH levels and counteracting the stripping effects of overly-harsh soaps, probiotics help to build back your body’s natural defences, reducing inflammation and dryness where we’ve been a little too eager over the years. For those with eczema, rosacea or psoriasis, probiotics are said to make a visible improvement. Depending on your skin type, different probiotics will have different effects. While using moisture-heavy products might feel

counterproductive for oily skin, a hydrating probiotic such as lactobacillus or glycolic acid will regulate your pores' oil production, giving moisture without slickness. Sensitive skin types may need to tread more carefully, but as a general guide, products that list "lactococcus ferment lysate" or other plant-based serums should steer you right.

Do They Actually Work?

Before you go out and splurge on a whole new beauty routine, it is worth bearing in mind that probiotic skincare products often have a very short shelf life. Read instructions carefully, and support their effect by catering to your internal health, with a diet that incorporates fibre, water and fermented, gut-friendly foods like kombucha, yogurt and sauerkraut. Balance is key—giving your skin room to breathe can be just as important as incorporating lots of products, and a "natural" face can be just as healthy as a "clean" one. n

by Jenessa Williams

We are fearful of the present, uncertain of the future and longing for the past that used to be.

Even in the Blitz of World War 2 people went about life as best they could. But, the country fell silent to Covid-19

How did lockdown a ect you?

People lost their jobs and incomes, children’s schooling was interrupted, weddings were postponed and even funerals could not occur in the usual manner.

Unable to bid farewell to a loved one was one of the saddest events in lockdown. Death lives long in the minds of those who are left behind.

We saw ‘the good, the bad and the ugly’ of human nature being played out during lockdown.

Could things have been done di erently? Would they have made a di erence?

Would you have chosen to be in the shoes of the Prime Minister in handling this crisis?

LOCKDOWN 2020 touches the lives of most people. Read it and identify your life in the words of the author.

We have to accept the new normal and look after ourselves. We would then be able to return to a semblance of the quality life we had.

Will Covid-19 be the last or could it happen again? The answer is in LOCKDOWN 2020

www.barnesandnoble.com ugly’ of human nature being played out

available to order from www.authorhouse.com

If you feel like your head’s about to implode from the onslaught of true crime, sex and violence that’s trickling from every streaming platform, hit pause for a moment, and let yourself get lost in Minari. This poignant take on the American Dream tells the story of a young Korean family that leaves California in search of a better life in rural Arkansas. As they begin to settle into their new environment, we get acquainted with the father, Jacob, who wants to prove himself by starting his own business; the isolated mother, Monica, longing for connection; the daughter, Anne, who wants to blend in with the other kids and the young boy, David, who, well, just wants to run around. But due to a dangerous heart condition, he’s resorted to reluctantly stomping around in his

wellies. Their lives reach a turning point with the arrival of a swearing, gambling, pro-wrestling-loving grandma from Korea, who teaches the family some valuable life lessons.

It’s a loving, tender story that reaches far beyond the immigrant experience, exploring the topics of loneliness, growing up and family values with a gentle touch and infinite time and sympathy for its rich, lived-in characters.

Since I first watched this film over a year ago at the Sundance film festival— that hazy, pre-pandemic era—I found myself coming back to it over and over again during the bleak winter of the soul that the rest of 2020 turned out to be, looking for solace and comfort. And solace and comfort I found. I very much hope it’ll do the same for you.

by Eva Mackevic

More From Sundance 2020…

Minari was an immense success at the Sundance 2020 film festival, winning both the US Dramatic Grand Jury Prize, as well as the US Dramatic Audience award. But it was just one of the numerous dazzling cinematic offerings of the festival. Here are some of the other Sundance highlights that are well worth looking out for

BY Eva Mackevic

THE FATHER

A deeply-affecting drama about dementia, starring Anthony Hopkins and Olivia Colman. The film offers a unique take on this harrowing topic, putting us in the shoes of the affected person rather than their close ones, and hence, effectively painting how terrifying this condition can be when experienced first-hand.

MISS AMERICANA

DISCLOSURE

The problematic tropes of trans in film are so ingrained in our thinking that they can often have a destructive effect on how we view trans people and how they view themselves. This provocative yet empathetic film will bring you one step closer towards a deeper understanding of what it really means.

A (supposedly) intimate look at country-pop megastar Taylor Swift’s rise to fame as well as her never-ending struggles with feelings, self-worth and, er, burritos. Whether you’re a “Swiftie” or not, the doc turns out to be moreishly entertaining and reveals a lot about Tay Tay’s admittedly impressive songwriting craft.

AND THEN WE DANCED

The story of a smouldering, illicit romance set in Tbilisi, Georgia, featuring dreamlike cinematography, intoxicatingly intense folk dance and sublime debut performances.

THE GLORIAS

It can be easy to forget what a powerful force of nature Gloria Steinem was when it came to women’s rights—this star-studded biopic based on her own autobiography serves as an inspiring reminder.

Home-schooling became the watchword of early 2021, with Children’s BBC enlisted as a substitute teacher for COVID-grounded youngsters. But how might grown-ups train their minds in these difficult times? One eminent solution: the return of Mark Kermode’s Secrets of Cinema (iPlayer), as good a film studies course as you might enrol on, distinguished by its accessibility, broad frame of reference and inspired juxtaposition of clips. All three new episodes are enlightening, but the spotlight on cult movies will be a particular education (and eyeopener) for most.

input from various professional pottymouths, this is one of those series that often looks and sounds dumber than it is; endure the endlessly riffing comedians, and the assembled supporting cast of lexicographers and academics will have some interesting points to make about the evolution of our fouler language.

As a reward for all this homework, treat yourself to Pretend It’s A City (Netflix), in which Martin Scorsese invites a fellow native New Yorker, the writer and raconteur Fran Lebowitz, to hold forth on her philosophy. She emerges as both a waspish wit and a defiantly analogue throwback, someone who refuses to carry a mobile phone, longs to smoke in restaurants again and has amusingly scant time for such modern concepts as “wellness”. You’ll likely join Scorsese in chuckling heartily at her tales—but there may now be no teaching her anything.

Retro Pick:

Make sure those youngsters are safely to bed before you start on History of Swear Words a brisk primer in the origins of the d-word, the f-word, the p-word and the s-word. Hosted by Nicolas Cage and featuring GrangeHill (Britbox)

The original bad education: Phil Redmond’s era-defining teatime controversy-magnet, centring on the lives of teachers and pupils at a North London secondary school, is being revived—series by series—over the course of the spring term.

by Mike McCahill

Album of the Month:

Deep England

by Gazelle Twin & NYX

Sometimes, you listen to the first few opening bars of a song, and you instinctually know you’re dealing with something of great importance. Gil Scott-Heron, Bob Dylan, Slowthai—the voices that challenge those with power and question the status quo. And that’s the guttural reaction one gets when dipping into the latest Gazelle Twin, aka Elizabeth Bernholz, record.

Also out this month:

A Call to Arms by

Visionist

A grand symphony of electronic soundscapes and female choir, Deep England reflects on Britain at a juncture, contemplating its many faces, cracks and biases. The album is rooted in pagan and sacred music, bringing to mind mystifying, occult imagery borrowed from The Wicker Man, and transplanted into the context of post-Brexit Britain. Though it’s politically charged, it never attempts to preach, opting instead for intelligent satire wrapped in radical sounds and punchy compositions.

Though it consistently ups the ante from song to song, the album reaches its climax halfway through with the nightmarish “Better in My Day”—a frenzied, rabble-rousing orgy of voices repeatedly panting, “Just look at these kids now, no respect, no proper job” like a medieval chant at a sacrificial ritual—with The Prodigy overseeing the playlist.

It’s an intense, hair-raising work that’s mature and assured in its message; even if it knows that the future is nothing but certain. There’s one thing we know for sure though: Gazelle Twin did not come to play, and we’re keen to keep observing the world through her lens in the coming years.

by Eva Mackevic

Electronica is clearly having a moment right now as our other top pick this month is this experimental gem from Louis Carnell, aka Visionist. A rich, vivid panoply of computerised sounds and genres, the album spans everything from mournful neofolk to thumping techno, moulding the disjointed samples, synths and vocals into one beautiful, cinematic narrative—a difficult feat to achieve in the world of electronic music. An immersive, trippy work, ACallto Armswill beguile fans of James Blake and Current 93, while also effortlessly demonstrating that Carnell’s chosen moniker is more than justified.

March Fiction

Horror master Stephen King strikes again with a gripping story of a boy with special powers…

Later by Stephen King (Titan Books, £8.99)

The philosopher Søren Kierkegaard wrote that “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” The same problem is laid out at the beginning of Stephen King’s new novel, as the narrator Jamie apologises in advance for his overuse of the word “later”. “I know it’s repetitive,” he explains, “but I had no choice.” This is because the story opens when he’s six and “only later” has he come to understand much of what went on. Then again, Jamie does have more to understand than most. Not only can he see dead people, but he can also talk to them and learn their secrets for a few days after their death.

James Walton is a book reviewer and broadcaster, and has written and presented 17 series of the BBC

Radio 4 literary quiz

The Write Stuff

Not surprisingly, when he tells his single mother Tia about this, she fears “she might be raising a crazy kid”. But once Jamie finds out from a recently deceased neighbour where she put the wedding ring her husband is frantically searching for, Tia has no alternative but to believe him.

Despite Jamie’s warning on the first page that “this is a horror story”, King initially plays things mostly for deadpan laughs (no pun intended). In one terrific section, Tia—a literary agent by trade—uses her son’s skillset to discover what her star author was planning to write in the last instalment

of a preposterous but hugely bestselling saga so she can ghost-write it herself (still no pun intended). After a while, however, a horror story is precisely what we get. Tia’s cop girlfriend forces Jamie to unearth the secrets of a serial killer who’s just shot himself in the head. The trouble is that, unlike the other dead people of his acquaintance, this one—complete with brains running down his face—doesn’t fade away after a few days…

Over the years King has received plenty of deserved acclaim for his ability to chill the blood, as he duly does again here. Often overlooked, though, is how good he is at everything else too, including character, dialogue and narrative voice. Above all, there’s a quality that’s on especially brilliant display here: rooting the horror in a world entirely and vividly recognisable as our own—which, of course, makes it even more horrifying.

Name the author

Can you guess the writer from these clues (the fewer you need the better)?

1. Of the five consonants in his first and second names, three are Ns—and the only vowels are Is and As.

2. The surname of his most famous character is also a type of word puzzle…

3. …that character being Inspector John Rebus.

Answer on p126

Paperbacks

House of Glass by Hadley Freeman (Fourth Estate, £9.99). The renowned journalist goes in search of what happened to her Jewish family during the 20th century. Both page-turning and eye-opening.

ExcitingTimes by Naoise Dolan (W & N, £8.99). Smart, funny novel about a young Irish woman in Hong Kong. One for fans of Sally Rooney.

Britain’sBest100RailwayStations by Simon Jenkins (Penguin, £14.99). Beautifully illustrated guide to the architectural splendours of British stations—and the fascinating social history behind them.

For When I’m Gone by Rebecca Ley (Orion, £8.99). Diagnosed with terminal cancer, 38-year-old Sylvia writes a handbook for her husband about the life they shared, and her hopes for their children. Somehow uplifting as well as extremely sad.

TheDreamer:AnAutobiography by Sir Cliff Richard (Ebury, £7.99). From his childhood in India, through to 1950s Soho and on to enduring stardom—Cliff looks back on his extraordinary life.

READER’S DIGEST RECOMMENDED READ:

Canine Companionship

An in-depth look at the

long, often surprising history of one of the most enduring bonds of all

What is it with human beings and dogs? Why of all the species in all the world have these two formed such a close bond? A bond, moreover, that not only has obvious practical benefits to both parties, but that from all available evidence—scientific as well as anecdotal—often appears to be one of genuine mutual love? In seeking to answer these questions, Simon Garfield ranges widely: from cave paintings to today’s therapy dogs by

way of greyhound racing, dog acts, DNA sequencing, cartoons, high art and much else besides. At one point, we meet a dog who can recognise the names of more than 1,000 objects and bring them when asked.

Garfield also suggests that the human-canine relationship is still evolving. Until the mid-19th century, most dogs were expected to work for a living. Then came the transformation to purely domestic pets. Now, over the past 30 years or so, they’ve become more like members of the family—a fact reflected in their changing names.

Gone are the Fidos and Rovers of yesteryear. Instead, we’re far more likely to give our dogs the same names that we give our children, with Alfie, Charlie, Poppy and Bella leading the way in Britain. (One of the book’s many great snippets is that, for parents, looking at photos of their dogs produces very similar brain activity to looking at photos of their kids.) Garfield, mind you, is clearly uneasy about what seems to be happening next: dogs designed primarily to look cute—not least on Instagram.

Even so, the darkest passage in what’s essentially a joyous and celebratory book comes with this account of an (understandably) almost totally forgotten incident in British history…

In June 1939, the popular monthly dog magazine the Tail-Wagger was so full of doggy optimism that newsagents probably had to restrain it from bouncing off the racks and licking you in the face. There was good news in the very first article: the ‘dog tax’ was not being raised by the Chancellor as feared. Elsewhere there was a report of training advances for guide dogs for the blind, and on every page there were hounds looking happy: the future could not have been brighter. But look at that date again.

The years to come were to prove as traumatic for dogs as they were for humans. In fact, the *weeks* to come

would bring a tragedy to dogs on a scale never experienced before or since.

In the first four days of the war, an estimated 400,000 domestic dogs and cats were killed voluntarily in London, an act dubbed by the historian Angus Calder as ‘a holocaust of pets’.

A holocaust of pets? Four hundred thousand? How can this possibly be? And how can this miserable breakdown of the indestructible bond between humans and their companions be afforded so little space in today’s collective memory? Perhaps one’s horror at the number provides an answer to the question: the thought of the massacre is almost too much to compute, and certainly too much to bear.

The figure is all the more astounding because relatively little documentary evidence exists to add much detail. One example, however, from the art critic Brian Sewell, provides a chilling account of how routine the death of a pet could become. ‘Robert shot him and left his body on the beach for the tide to

Dog’s Best Friend: A Brief History of an Unshakeable Bond by Simon Garfield is published by Weidenfeld and Nicolson at £16.99

sweep away,’ Sewell wrote in Outsider, the first volume of his memoirs. Robert was his stepfather, the beach was Whitstable, the dog was Prince, his Labrador. ‘Packed among the suitcases in the car, I saw Prince led towards the sea and heard the shot. I did not cry, as I would now…’ And so this was us: the soft-hearted, British, dog-loving nation forced to destroy the very things we adored the most, horribly and literally killing our friends with love.

What led to this calamity? It seems that at least one cause was officially sanctioned. Just before the war began, the Home Office Air Raid Precautions Department drew up a special booklet for animal care, advising the removal of animals to the countryside. Failing that, it advised those facing enlistment or a similar dislocation, ‘If you cannot place them in the care of neighbours, it really is kindest to have them destroyed.’ The booklet contained a full-page advertisement from Accles and Shelvoke Ltd, selling its Cash Captive Bolt Pistol: ‘Provides the speediest, most efficient and reliable means of destroying any animal, including horses, cats and all sizes of dogs.’

And the name of the author is… Ian Rankin. The 23rd and latest Rebus novel, ASongforDark Times—an inevitable bestseller in hardback—is out in paperback next month.

Simon Garfield’s Favourite

Canine Novels

Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens. Poor old Bull’s-eye, to have such a terrible owner as Bill Sikes. Dickens was a dog lover, but here he got Victorian cruelty spot-on. Will make you want to hug your own dog a little more.

Go,Dog.Go! by PD Eastman. My childhood favourite, in which a posh poodle and an arrogant mutt flirt and discuss fancy hats. The vivid, hallucinatory pictures will sear your brain.

TheLifeandOpinionsofMaf theDog,andofHisFriend MarilynMonroe by Andrew O’Hagan. You get carried around by Marilyn, you get the real celebrity picture. The narrator is a fluffy Maltese terrier who reveals the lonely truth as never before.

TheLastFamilyinEngland by Matt Haig. A loving Labrador’s take on domestic life, although prepare yourself for a real-life ending.

The Friend by Sigrid Nunez. A woman inherits a Great Dane when her friend dies. What could possibly go wrong?

’’

Books

THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

Writer Robert Thorogood is the brains behind the hit BBC series Death in Paradise. His latest novel, The Marlow Murder Club, is available now (HQ, £12.99)

Peril at End House by Agatha Christie

This was the first “adult” book I read and I didn’t know that it was a murder mystery. When I discovered at the end of the book that the author had been unreliable and used slight of hand to hide the killer, it blew my tiny mind. I fell hard and fast in love with golden age murder mysteries and that obsession is something I’ve never shaken. In my thirties I spent a lot of time trying to think of a light-hearted murder mystery that I could set up on the telly, because I’d been obsessed with the genre for my entire life. So much so that after DeathinParadise, I wanted to do another light-hearted murder mystery with the TheMarlowMurderClub.

Aunts Aren’t Gentlemen

by P G Wodehouse

P G Wodehouse was the greatest crafts person who ever lived—his ability to create the perfect sentence is unparalleled—but the thing I took from him was his extraordinary plotting. Jeeves will start off wanting to go on a cruise, then he has to steal a cow creamer, then there’s an instance with a policeman’s helmet—these all seem to be unrelated events, yet Wodehouse’s genius is to tie them up in a bow right at the end so that you’re left with the feeling that a complete story has been told that started off in chaos and ends in a sublime place of accord. TheMarlowMurder Clubis a love letter to the sort of plotting that Wodehouse could do in his sleep. All of my plotting I learned from Wodehouse.

Cold Comfort Farm

by Stella Gibbons

I’d been told that this was the funniest novel ever written, but when I first tried it at 14, I just couldn’t get on with it. It sat on my shelf for years and every six months I’d pull it down and mournfully have another go. Then, when I was 17, I finally found it funny, and it was such a relief. If I could find ColdComfort Farmfunny, then maybe I was right to want to be a comedy writer. From ColdComfort FarmI learned about writing characters in a comic setting. The ending is genuinely beautiful writing that makes you feel warm and happy inside. When I got married, we had the very closing lines as a reading.

New Chip On The Block

James O'Malley on Apple's major computer change

When we look back at the evolution of computing technology, there is one constant: our computers just keep getting faster. However, though we have come to expect our next computer to be significantly more powerful than what we have currently, this isn’t something that happens by chance. It’s the result of a lot of hard work, and fierce competition between chip makers.

And this is why at the end of last year, Apple did something truly dramatic in the world of computing. Instead of resting on its laurels as the world’s largest company, it decided to make an enormous technical change to all of its Mac computers. The consequences are important too.

If you’re thinking of buying a Mac any time over the next few years, this is definitely something you need to pay attention to.

SO WHAT EXACTLY DID APPLE DO?

If you take a look at Apple’s most recent MacBook Air and MacBook Pro laptops, and the most recent Mac Mini desktop computer, you could be forgiven for thinking they look and function much the same way as what came before. They’re thin, shiny and are significantly more expensive than their Windows equivalents. But Apple is betting that it is what is on the inside that counts, as it has decided to switch from using processors designed and made by Intel, to chips based on designs by British firm ARM.

This isn’t a simple change to make, as the "architecture" of the new chips is radically different and fundamentally incompatible. This means that every single app— everything from Microsoft Word to Zoom to Spotify—will need to be rebuilt from the ground up to make them work on the new Macs.

Needless to say, Apple has created a

lot of work for app developers to switch over to the new system.

The reason behind the change goes back to that desire for faster chips. Fundamentally, when making chips there is a trade-off between three things: power consumption, how much heat is being generated and performance. The faster the computer crunches numbers, the more power is consumed and the more heat is generated. This is why

APPLE CREATED A LOT OF WORK FOR APP DEVELOPERS

the more powerful a computer is, generally the more fans you’ll find strapped to it, whirring away like a jet engine to keep the processor cool.

Apple’s belief is that by designing its own, it can create chips that are more efficient. This is partially due to fundamental technical differences between Intel and ARM, and also because unlike Intel, who supply the chips that must work inside of tens of thousands of different types of computers, Apple can concentrate on optimising its own chips for the handful of different computers that it makes.

And by all accounts, Apple’s gamble on improved technical performance appears to be correct. These first three computers using the new chips have

been widely praised for being more powerful than most other laptops, while remaining whisper-quiet, with batteries that last all day. In fact, I’m typing these words on the new MacBook Pro myself—and I can personally attest to how much the new chips improve on what came before.

SO WHY DOES ALL OF THIS MATTER TO PROSPECTIVE MAC BUYERS?

Because for the next few years there will be a transition period where some Macs on sale will use the old Intel chips, and some will use the new ARM chips. So it’ll be important to know what you’re buying.

In most cases, it should be fine to take a risk on the new chips. Apple is doing everything it can to help developers transition across. It has even made special software that will automatically enable most older apps to work on the new system. And most of the big, household-name apps like Microsoft Office and Google Chrome will work just fine.

But—and it’s a big but—if there is an absolutely critical app that you absolutely cannot live without, especially if it's a specialist app not used by many people, it may be worth waiting until your critical app has been rebuilt for the new system. Otherwise you might find yourself with a new Mac that is certainly shiny and beautiful to look at, but isn’t actually useful for getting any work done. n

You Couldn’t Make It Up

Win £30 for your true, funny stories!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

I was welcoming in my class of tenyear-olds when a boy came over looking very upset.

"What's up, James"? I asked.

"My uncle has died this morning," he replied.

"I am so sorry, James," I consoled. "How old was he"?

James told me that he was 85.

"He's lived a long life. Is that why you're so upset"? I asked.

"No," he replied, "I'm upset because he hadn't given me his sponsored spelling money."

PAUL SCHLEISING, Flintshire

While realising that subtitles may not always give perfect renditions of what is said on television and frequently being amused by mistakes such as, "Her Majesty has 'rained' for nearly 70 years", I choked into my cup of tea at the one I saw today on Bargain Hunt.

In search of a brass item to fulfil a personal challenge, the contestants were led by the incomparable Phil Serrell to a very attractive ewer and

basin not as the subtitles said, a “urine basin”. MAGGIE COBBETT, Yorkshire

I kept harping on at my husband to go on a diet. We were taking a walk one day and he leapfrogged over a bench. Looking mighty pleased with himself he exclaimed, “How many overweight men do you know who can do that?”

“One,” I said. He didn't like my response.

SHONA LLOYD, Denbighshire

My brother who's a policeman comes across some good excuses for speeding in his job.

One couple he stopped recently, were a man and his wife. He spoke to the man who stated indignantly that it was in fact his wife's fault they had been speeding.

“She's doing all the driving," he said, I'm just the one behind the wheel.”

ALEXA MILLWARD, Holywell

My maiden name was Love. One day I was ringing a company to

"OUR BABY

book an engineer to come fix my washing machine and I was asked what time preference I had for an appointment. When the engineer arrived, he was bemused. He showed me his job sheet.

It read, “Love urgently needed in the morning.”

JENNY MOYNEUX, Denbighshire

I was talking on the phone to my mum about the chance of the Beast from the East coming back.

My son was obviously listening because as I tucked him into bed, he asked me, “When is the monster coming? And why will we have to wear gloves to fight him?”

JENNIE GARDNER, Bath

My daughter told me she wanted a pony but I had to tell her that it was impossible as her dad was allergic to horses. She had a think about this

and then asked again.

"When Dad dies, can I have a horse?

JESS WARD, London

I was talking to my partner about all the birds we were currently seeing in the garden.

"There's been an abundance of them lately," I said.

My eight-year-old, who I'd thought was in the other room, piped up, "I'd love to go to one of those."

"One of what?" I asked.

"A bun dance. A dance where you just eat buns. Yum!"

I thought about it and have to say I agree!

ESTHER NEWTON, Nottinghamshire

My husband showed our five-yearold son a picture of himself when he was 16 and asked Harri if he knew who it was.

He stared at it for a long time before replying, “It's me when I'm bigger!”

SHULAH CLARKSON, Great Yarmouth

While working in the men's department of a large retailer, I noticed that a gentleman was behaving rather suspiciously.

I immediately telephoned the CCTV room to ask them to watch the individual.

I could hear some laughter in the background and then the response,

“That’s the new store detective!”

MICHAEL G PHILLIPS, Leicestershire

cartoon by Guto Dias

SENT HIS FIRST MESSAGE! "

It’s never been easier to enjoy the world’s favourite magazine!

YES I want to subscribe to Reader’s Digest Magazine for just £3 for 3 issues (a saving of £8.37 on the shop price of £11.37 based on the cover price of £3.79 per issue). I understand that if I do not wish to continue receiving Reader’s Digest after my first 3 issues I can simply cancel my subscription by contacting customer services. If I do want to continue to subscribe after my first 3 issues I need do nothing and my subscription will automatically be renewed at the low rate of £7.50 for every 3 issues until I decide otherwise.

Word Power

The trench and fedora may no longer be de rigueur, but spies still use specialised lingo to talk to each other. Could you be a spook?

BY GEORGE MURRAY

1. black bag job—A: break and enter. B: stashed documents. C: requires a body bag.

2. nugget—A: bait offered to a potential defector. B: small bomb. C: decoding breakthrough.

3. clean—A: wiping fingerprints. B: unknown to enemy intelligence. C: room free of bugs.

4. cobbler—A: shoe-phone maker. B: forger of documents. C: assignment chief.

5. funkspiel—A: covert planting of surveillance equipment. B: breached security status. C: electronic transmission altered to spread disinformation.

6. dangle—A: fake defector using info as lure. B: interrogation technique. C: sniper roost.

7. executive action—A: change of orders. B: snooping on a highranking politician. C: assassination.

8. floating box—A: equipment drop over water. B: sealed coffin. C: hidden agents moving in formation with target.

9. hard man—A: field agent who

has defected. B: has killed. C: has been killed.

10. honeytrap—A: use of seduction in an operation. B: booby-trapped case of money. C: an agent offered a deal he or she can’t resist.

11. shoe—A: agent’s phone. B: false passport or visa. C: escape-andevasion tactic.

12. wet job—A: arrival by sea. B: mission involving bloodshed. C: delivering news to a spy’s widow.

13. chicken feed—A: harmless info divulged to enemy to establish credentials. B: giving different versions of a story to different sources. C: decoy one intends to sacrifice.

14. brush pass—A: cleaning site of evidence. B: fingerprinting technique. C: encounter in which intel is exchanged.

15. window dressing—A: props to make cover story credible. B: system of simple code words used together. C: act of saying one thing but meaning another.

ANSWERS

1. black bag job—[A] break and enter. The black bag job at enemy headquarters yielded invaluable intel.

2. nugget—[A] bait offered to a potential defector. Political asylum was the best nugget CSIS could offer the Chinese agent.

3. clean—[B] unknown to enemy intelligence. Agent Gompertz chose the intern for the job because she was clean.

4. cobbler—[B] forger of documents. Agent Pangalos was assigned to Madrid for six months, but needed to visit the cobbler first.

5. funkspiel—[C] electronic transmission altered to spread disinformation. The CIA’s funkspiel let Iran believe the captured spy cracked during the interrogation.

6. dangle—[A] fake defector using info as lure. A dangle for years, Agent Singh fed the US false intel on his country’s nuclear programme.

7. executive action—[C] assassination. With such a dangerous operative, the prime minister was forced to order an executive action.

8. floating box [C] hidden agents moving in formation with target. The black Volvos formed a floating box

around the van on the highway.

9. hard man—[B] field agent who has killed. Agent Vasilisa came back from that mission a hard man.

10. honeytrap—[A] use of seduction in an operation. Given the target’s love of blondes, Agent Jones volunteered for the honeytrap.

11. shoe—[B] false passport or visa. Agent Aqidi marvelled over his Spanish passport and slipped the shoe into his bag.

12. wet job—[B] mission involving bloodshed. Agent Zhang checked the clip in his Beretta and steeled himself for the wet job ahead.

13. chicken feed—[A] harmless info divulged to enemy to establish credentials. The safe house address was all the chicken feed Agent Abel needed to sell his story.

14. brush pass—[C] encounter in which intel is exchanged. After the brush pass, Agent Sager checked his pocket and found the flash drive.

WORD OF THE DAY*

OBVENTION

An incidental occurrence or advantage

15. window dressing—[A] props to make cover story credible. Agent Azad’s study of dentistry proved useful window dressing for his mission in the medical building.

Alternative suggestions: "Trying to fit five pans on a four-ring cooker"

VOCABULARY RATINGS

7–10: fair

11–12: good

13–15: excellent

TRIVIA

BY Samantha Rideout

1. What hot beverage, enjoyed throughout the Western world during the holiday season, goes back at least as far as the ancient Romans?

2. Which of the following things would you not need to complete a modern pentathlon: a horse, a bicycle, a sword, a pistol or a swimsuit?

3. Barack Obama’s mother, Stanley Ann Dunham, studied and worked in what academic field?

4. How long is Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights?

5. Roughly what fraction of the world’s population caught the infamous 1918 flu?

6. Winter is caused when the earth is furthest from the sun. True or false?

7. In 2020, a British man was sentenced to four years in prison for trying to steal what national relic?

8. The four letters on a dreidel stand for “Nes gadol haya sham,” meaning what?

9. The first time Erno Rubik tried to solve his own invention, the Rubik’s Cube, how long did it take him?

10. What holiday do Iranians celebrate on the longest night of the year with pomegranates and watermelons, among other foods?

11. Pantomimes are a British holiday tradition. Which of these celebrities has not acted in one: David Hasselhoff, Kristen Bell or George Takei?

12. Some say they can fly, but can reindeer swim?

13. Bacteria called Xylella fastidiosa can infect certain trees and may also drive up the price of what fatty cooking staple?

14. What African-American athlete annoyed the Nazis by setting three world records at the 1936 Olympics in Berlin?

15. According to the Bible, how many wise men brought gifts to the child Jesus?

13. Olive oil. 14. Jesse Owens. 15. The number of wise men isn’t specified in the Bible.

9. Over a month. 10. Yalda. 11. Kristen Bell. 12. Yes.

8. “A great miracle happened there.”

caused when your hemisphere is tilted away from the sun. 7. An original copy of the Magna Carta.

Answers: 1. Mulled wine. 2. A bicycle. 3. Anthropology. 4. Five days. 5. One-fifth. 6. False. It’s

Brainteasers

Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles, then check your answers on p139

Lighten Up

Three digital alarm clocks are sitting in a pile.

The numbers inside the squares of this grid indicate how many of the lines adjacent to that square are lit. Can you fill in three numbers (with three digits each) so that the numbers on the two top clocks add up to the number on the bottom clock? The digits 0 through 9 are shown for your reference.

Times Square

Fill in each cell of the grid with a digit from 1 through 9. Each number outside the grid is the product of multiplying the digits in its row or column. The number 1 will appear exactly once in each row and column.

Other numbers can be repeated, and not every digit from 1 through 9 will be used.

Can you complete the grid?

Symbolism

Based on these equations, what’s the missing symbol?

Feeling Lucky?

You enter a casino and are presented with a game where you must draw the ace, king, queen and jack of diamonds, in that exact order, out of a standard deck of 52 playing cards. What's your probability of winning?

Str8ts

Fill in the white cells with digits from 1 through 9 so that no number repeats in any row or column. Black cells divide the rows and columns into “compartments.” Each compartment needs to contain a “straight.” A straight is a set of numbers that have no gaps between them, but they can appear in any order (for example, 2, 3, 5, 4). A clue in a black cell removes that number as an option in the cell’s row and column, but it is not part of any straight.

How many squares are there in this diagram?

Laugh!

WIN £30 for every reader’s joke we publish!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

I’ve had clap-activated lights installed in my house and now I can’t listen to the opening titles of Friends.

Comedian OLAF FALAFEL

I went to a restaurant that was serving badger last night. It was from the sett menu.

Comedian PERIWINKLE JONES

I’ve cancelled my gym membership. Just didn’t workout.

Submitted via Twitter

That ABBA tribute band were incredibly loud last night. You could hear the drums from Nando’s.

Comedian SANJEEV KOHLI

Midge Ure’s real first name is Matt. He changed it because he thought it sounded too cheesy.

Comedian IAN POWER

Our vicar is so blind that he has to do baptisms in a massive font.

Seen on Twitter

A man decided that he wanted to make his own honey, so he purchased 100 bees from his local beekeeper. When he got home, he counted his new bees and discovered that he actually had 101.

Being an honest man, he called the beekeeper back to tell him that he had taken home one too many.

I ate a clock yesterday. It was very TIME

CONSUMING!

Seen online

“That’s okay,” the beekeeper said. “That one’s a free bee.”

HELEN EVANS, Chester

I took all the wheels off of my car, so now it has plenty of 00mph.

Comedian GARY DELANEY

I’ve always fancied becoming a Georgian monk. Chants would be a fine thing.

Comedian PAUL EGGLESTONE

My optometrist thinks I should see other people.

Seen on Twitter

What if Bruce Wayne really just wanted to be a “bar man” but was too embarrassed to admit the typo after Alfred had spent so long ordering the equipment?

Submitted via Twitter

I wonder if the inventor of the shoehorn ever tries to bring it up in conversation…

Seen on Facebook

Daddy-Daughter Time

DADS SHARE THE HILARIOUS MAKE OVERS THEY’VE RECEIVED COURTESY OF THEIR DAUGHTERS via boredpanda.com

People always ask me where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Madrid. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

Seen on Reddit

A Collie dog was bragging about all the work that he did around the farm. A nearby sheep piped up, “You don’t work hard, all you do is boss us around!”

“What did you say?” the Collie demanded.

“You herd me.”

Submitted via Facebook

I arrived early to my favourite restaurant and the manager asked, “Do you mind waiting a bit?” When I said no, he replied, “Good. Take these drinks to table nine.”

JAVIER GOOSE, Halifax

Somebody recently told me that I should clean my pet pig using vodka.

Sounds like Absolut hogwash to me.

Seen on Twitter

Ada’s friend asked to borrow her donkey. “My donkey isn’t here,” she explained as the donkey brayed loudly in the background.

“I thought your donkey wasn’t there?”

Making A Meal Of Things

Twitter users share hilarious stories of their worst cooking experiences

@BoneNibbler: My mum had spent hours cooking. I was sweeping the floor and the broom handle hit the overhead lamp. Loads of old bugs fell down straight into the sauce… She looked at me and said, “Shh”.

@ACSTucker: My dad tried to make my grandmother’s mashed potatoes but broke the masher. He didn’t know you had to boil them, he just thought she was super strong.

“Who are you going to believe,” she asked. me or a donkey?”

CROSSWORD ANSWERS

Seen on Reddit

@CindiHuston: I made a dip and wanted my boyfriend to try it, so I dipped my pinkie finger in for him to taste. He wasn’t paying attention and thought it was a baby carrot. You could hear the crunch when he bit down.

Across: 8 Astride, 9 Wagoner, 10 Welfare, 11 Corncob, 12 Ratchet, 13 Halfway, 14 Spot, 17 Drake, 19 Owes, 23 Undress, 24 Earlier, 25 Instead, 26 Descend, 27 Afflict, 28 Eyesore

Down: 1 Waxworks, 2 Stiletto, 3 Piranha, 4 Repeater, 5 Sabotage, 6 To and fro, 7 Lemonade, 15 Penknife, 16 Throttle, 17 Distance, 18 Knee-deep, 20 White-hot, 21 Shredded, 22 Prosper

60 Second Stand-Up

We talked to the hilarious comedian, Mike Wozniak

WHO INSPIRES YOUR COMEDY?

Spike Milligan ever since I was a nipper. Even now if I’m ever feeling lost I take a dive into Spike Milligan and the unbridled joy comes back.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE PART OF PERFORMING? The rewards, because always give myself a biscuit when I come off stage.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE ONE-LINER?

It’s a Peter Cooke one-liner: “I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’m sure I could repeat them exactly.”

DO YOU HAVE ANY FUNNY TALES ABOUT A TIME YOU BOMBED ON STAGE? In the worst stand up gig I ever had I was booed off the stage three times on the same set. Every time I tried to leave the stage they called me back for a kind of kangaroo court of why I was so terrible, then they’d boo me off again.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE COMEDY MOMENT? I did a live show called The Golden Lizard with Henry Paker and it was a little piece of chaos. Sometimes when performing live, he would change the scene we were doing in the middle of the

scene. Partly because he can’t remember what he’s doing and partly because he decides it needs a rewrite. It was a mess but the audience loved it.

WHAT IS YOUR PET PEEVE? I’m tempted to pretend that I’m very easy going and peeveless… But peeves that have come up only today have included dog poo bags left on trees, splinters, stubbed toes and bad table manners.

IF YOU COULD BE A FLY ON THE WALL, WHOSE WALL WOULD IT BE ON?

I’d be a time travelling fly and see Prince. I’ve read a lot about Prince but he’s still a complete mystery in many ways, so I’d just like to be there person to person. Or Prince to fly…

WHAT SUPERPOWER WOULD YOU CHOOSE? During lockdown I’d have the power to shrink so my bathroom could become a heated waterpark, my giant rubber plant could become a giant adventure and a Mars Bar becomes a very big Mars Bar. The dog might be a problem though… n

Taskmaster is on Channel 4 and 4oD and Mike Wozniak’s podcast St Elwick’s Neighbourhood Association Newsletter Podcast is available on all podcast platforms

Beat the Cartoonist!

Think of a witty caption for this cartoon—the three best suggestions, along with the cartoonist’s original, will be posted on our website in mid-MARCH.

If your entry gets the most votes, you’ll win £50.

Submit to captions@readersdigest.co.uk by MARCH 7. We’ll announce the winner in our May issue.

JANUARY WINNER

Our cartoonist has finally reclaimed his crown as his caption, “I’m postponing my New Years Resolution until Chinese New Year” won the majority of our voters over, claiming an impressive 50 per cent of the total votes. Congratulations cartoonist! But can you keep your crown next month?

Mental Health And Gaming

The surprising ways video games have helped us survive the pandemic

LIVING WITH HYPERHIDROSIS

It’s not just damp patches and deodorants; the condition carries a heavy, invisible burden

If I Ruled The World Tony Hicks

The world according to the legendary guitarist of pop-rock phenomenon, The Hollies +

LAUGH

THIS BEAUTIFUL EARTH CREATED FOR A PURPOSE

There are in the world today, many fears and anxieties for the future of humanity and of life upon earth. There is the ever present threat of war and destructive weapons. There is concern over the loss of natural habitats and natural resources. There is concern for the climate and frequency of natural disasters.

The Holy Bible is the inspired Word of the Living God. Its pages reveal that He is in control and that there is a solution to these problems. He, as the Creator, has a Purpose with the earth, which is altogether logical. The Bible reveals how it is possible to have a part in His Plan. ■

The Second Coming of Jesus Christ

The Kingdom of God

What is the Christian Hope?

The Local Secretary,

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