Reader's Digest UK Aug 2022

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Features

16 IT’S A MANN’S WORLD

This month, Olly Mann takes us suit shopping

ENTERTAINMENT

20 INTERVIEW:

MAUREEN LIPMAN

The distinguished British actress on cancel culture, finding fame in BT ads and why she loves Prince Charles

28 “I REMEMBER”: ANNIE NIGHTINGALE

The queen of British radio looks back on her travels, dealing with sexism and meeting The Beatles

HEALTH

36 WHAT'S EATING US?

Susannah Hickling explains why eating disorders aren't just a young person's problem

INSPIRE

54 PLATONIC LOVE

Why more and more people are choosing their best friends to be their life partners

72 SWITCHED AT BIRTH

The incredible true story of how two babies were sent home with the wrong families

82 CAN YOU SEE ME?

Try spotting the stealthy animals blending in with their backdrops

TRAVEL

88 FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE

A guide to the places you need to visit if you're a fool for fromage

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In This Issue… W

elcome, dear reader, to the August edition of Reader’s Digest. Whether you’re spending the last month of summer travelling to faraway places or just basking in the sun in your back garden, we hope to keep you company with our usual dose of laughter, games and inspiration. In this issue, you’ll find a comforting interview with the legendary Maureen Lipman on p20, an incisive piece on eating disorders in older people on p36, and a colourful feature on the greatest cheese destinations around the world on p88—among many others.

You, the readers, are at the heart of everything we do, so we would like to take a moment to thank you for the overwhelming response we received to our recent subscriber survey. As ever, your feedback is invaluable when it comes to shaping the magazine so that it continues to serve you the best way it can. Your insights, requests and ideas fuel our work, so please continue to make your opinion known. And in the spirit of celebrating our 100th year of publication in the UK, we’re looking to create a very special archive of our magazine. If you have back issues of RD that you wish to donate to this effort, please email readersletters@readersdigest.co.uk.

Anna and Eva

Over the past year, Reader’s Digest has navigated the woes and wonders of modern life, weighing in with leading experts on the everyday tools we need to survive and thrive in the modern world. And what better time than now to catch up?

To subscribe to Digested and listen to all our episodes so far—including tips on sleep, the menopause and reducing your plastic consumption—visit readersdigest. co.uk/podcast or search “Digested” on iTunes.

Over To You

LETTERS ON THE June ISSUE

We pay £50 for Letter of the Month and £30 for all others

LETTER OF THE MONTH

Over 23.7 billion methane-rich cowpats, weighing a staggering total of 43.4 million tonnes, are deposited around the world every day. And cows aren’t the only culprits.

Animal agriculture is accountable for producing the equivalent of 7.1 gigatonnes of CO2 per year, or 14.5 per cent of greenhouse gas emissions. So, your article “The Seaweed Solution” certainly gave me a lot to think about.

Feeding cows seaweed, it is claimed in your article, will help to cut down on the emissions that are ruining our planet.

NEVER FELT BETTER

I couldn’t agree more with Mike Aspinall’s article—the versatility and durability of felt should not be underrated. I do agree that thick felt is better suited for the more robust projects,

I welcome any changes in farming animal diets that will help the planet. But I am a vegan and so I continue to despair about the bovine farming industry. One particularly cruel aspect of the dairy industry relates to the separation of mother cows and baby calves. Mother and baby calf must be separated otherwise the baby would drink most of its mother’s milk, leaving little for the dairy farmer. Cows and their calves form very strong bonds and the separation causes intense distress to both.

Paula Maddocks, Hertfordshire

but I must confess to also being a great fan of the flimsy sheets sold in craft shops. The bold colours are eye-catching and perfect for fun projects for kids and adults alike. I’ve found them ideal for making bright funky

pouches for smaller items such as phones, watches, and jewellery. And with a little imagination even personalised gift bags can be devised, which seldom fails to raise a delighted smile from the recipient.

Beverley Cork, Kent

FUN WITHOUT FUNDS

I read every word of Andy Webb’s June money column, “Keep Entertained On A Budget”. I’m pleased to say that my partner and I are already making some of the savings he’s suggested— we’re members of National Trust and English Heritage and we certainly get our money’s worth!

We have also stopped subscribing to our cable TV and are now just using Freeview. We actually find we don’t have enough time to watch all the programmes we want to anyway, so we’re not missing a cable service at all.

I had no idea that tickets are sometimes given away in order to fill up a venue, or that you can make decent savings at the cinema by going to see movies Monday to Wednesday.

With bills and the cost of living going up all the time, it is easy to think that we cannot afford to enjoy ourselves anymore. But everyone still needs to have some fun and blow off steam, and Andy’s shown us that we still can. Thank you!

Esther Chilton, Nottinghamshire

WHITE LIES

I read Dr Max’s column on dementia and how honesty is not always the best policy with some sadness. Generally, I try not to lie, but when it comes to dementia, I worry about the price that comes with telling the truth. My brother is in the early stages and sometimes it’s less stressful to him, if I don’t tell him the absolute truth. He recently said he wanted to phone our father, but he died 22 years ago. The whole truth would mean repeatedly breaking the news of our parent’s death afresh. What could be more cruel? I try to remember that those with dementia are still people, they still have stories and they’re all unique. They just need to be interacted with on a human level.

Rachelle Harding, Cambridgeshire

…DIFFERENTLY

In summer, temperatures in Henan Province, China, can climb to more than 30 degrees. Here, residents and visitors seek the refreshing relief of the Yellow River. They float down the Yellow (called the Huang He in Chinese), which is China’s secondlongest river, in an armada of colourful rubber boats; those who begin their journey upstream of the city of Jiyuan have the opportunity to admire the river’s famed three gorges.

Oooh Suits

You,Sir

This month, Olly Mann braves the menswear section to find a suit that fits

TOlly Mann presents Four Thought for BBC Radio 4, and the podcasts The Modern Mann, The Week Unwrapped and The Retrospectors

ime for a new suit. I’d foolishly believed I was well-equipped on this front already, because, somewhere in my closet, I’d retained a shiny Brooks Brothers jobbie (weddings), a morning suit and top hat (Ascot), a Prince of Wales checked affair (job interviews), and a sober M&S two-piece (funerals). There’s even a dinner jacket, for accompanying Dad to Black Tie events at his car club. Yet my father died in 2016. Which tells you all you need to know about the frequency of my suit-wearing.

Look, I like to be comfortable. Left to my own devices, I’d strut about year-round in slouchy shorts, XXL graphic tees and Birkenstocks, looking for all the world like a Texan tourist at a beach buffet. Even in the "smart-casual" world of media work, this style is unwise—nobody turns up in athleisure to review the papers on breakfast television (mind you, the majority of the audience are presumably wearing pyjamas, so who knows, perhaps they’d prefer it).

I mostly work in audio, which allows for some informality, but even so, involves meeting people and building respect and rapport; easier to do when you’re, at least, wearing a shirt and big-boy trousers. So, my daily attire could mostly be described as breathable yet presentable—middle management at the golf club stuff—and my suits hardly ever see the light of day.

This situation was only more

Kemp documentary about Michael Jackson’s zoo. None of my suits fit me. None.

My wedding trousers are now so tight that wearing them would be incompatible with consummating a marriage. My chest bursts through the jacket. My job interview suit is so beleaguered by moths that anyone in my orbit might expect a plague of locusts to fly out of it and nest in their hair. My funeral

MY WEDDING TROUSERS ARE NOW SO TIGHT WEARING THEM WOULD BE INCOMPATIBLE WITH CONSUMMATING A MARRIAGE

amplified following the birth of our son in 2019—which put a pause on all nightlife that didn’t involve bottle-feeding and burping—and then, of course, COVID, which provided an even more extended period of housebound fashions. Dear Reader, I haven’t worn a suit for THREE YEARS.

But now I have a gig coming up. I’m hosting an awards ceremony for business leaders and do-gooders: canapés, conference room, jazz band… you know the sort of thing. I can’t get away with linen trousers and a short sleeve shirt (my usual summer fallback). So, I just tried on my suit collection to see what might work. And it was the most dispiriting hour I’ve endured this year: even sadder than that Ross

suit I can almost get away with, but a) only if I wear the trousers completely open at the waist with my shirt hanging over the waistband to conceal the fly—not exactly the preened and proper look that people expect from an awards host—and, b) it’s MADE OF WOOL. Hardly the best fabric for high summer.

My weight has historically oscillated depending on seasons, fad diets and exercise regimes—I’m the Oprah Winfrey of podcasting— but weirdly, since I last lost a load of weight in 2015, my face has remained relatively thin, and I’ve been able to pretend that my ever-increasing waistline wasn’t happening (look! My headshots look identical!). So this was all a bit of a bombshell; incontrovertible proof

that subscribing to that cheese box during lockdown was a bad idea.

But losing weight before the gig isn’t an option—it’s in two days' time. So, today I went to my local department store and attempted to buy something off the peg, in an hour, without ordering anything in, or getting anything adjusted. Which is much harder than it sounds.

When you’re used to L and XL, the sizing is bewildering. I’m 46 Reg in some jackets, and 44 Long in others; my waist can be anything from 38 inches to 42, depending on the tailoring; and my collar size is 17.5, but Slim Fit is too tight and Relaxed Fit is too loose. Just trying to nail down my vital statistics was like negotiating an international peace treaty.

Next, I had to select a style: harder than it sounds when you’re going to be the host, the "personality" up there on stage. Sure, a local awards evening is not the BAFTAs,

but there’s always an element of "showbiz" when all eyes are on you. Even if you’ve been hired for a bit of straight-laced ceremony, nobody wants to look like Alan Partridge at the Dante Fires presentation. Some razzle-dazzle is required, but not too much: Eamonn Holmes doing a quiz show, not Graham Norton doing Eurovision.

After much wrangling in the changing rooms, and a chorus of almost-genuine "Oh! You look FABULOUS" from the sales assistants (it’s remarkable how formal menswear advisors have kept their Seventies sitcom schtick going strong while lecturing us on contemporary trends), I left the store, £200 lighter, with something that seems to fit the bill (bright blue, single-breasted, pocket square).

I look forward to re-discovering this purchase at the back of my wardrobe in 2025, when, of course, I will be far too thin to wear it. n

Fascinating Feathered Friends

The African Grey Parrot can say up to 800 words, far more than other species that have an average of 50 words in their vocabulary

Chickens are thought to be descended from the Tyrannosaurus rex, which scientists now believe had downy feathers during their youth

Geese were the first birds to be domesticated by humans—7,000 years ago

Kiwis are the only birds that have external nostrils at the end of their beak

Maureen Lipman

On Prizes, Princes And Playing The Villain

By Richard Barber

The Corrie actress describes finally being old enough for her next stage role, finding fame in BT ads, and why she loves Prince Charles

Actress Maureen Lipman has been a permanent fixture on stage and screen ever since she graduated from drama school in her early twenties. Whether in serious films like Polanski’s The Pianist, in TV sitcoms like Agony (as the suffocating Jewish mother, Beattie), in the longrunning British Telecom TV ads and currently as the monstrous Evelyn Plummer in Coronation Street, no one can doubt her ubiquity.

Now, at 76, she’s taking on one of her most challenging roles ever. Playwright Martin Sherman wrote Rose at the end of the 1990s with Maureen Lipman in mind. “But I was then in my early fifties,” she says, “too young for the role.” In the event, it was played by the late Olympia

Dukakis at the National and then by Janet Suzman in Chichester.

“But when director Scott Le Crass came to me last year with the suggestion that I was now the right age for the part, it turned out to be a marriage made in Hendon. We quickly eased into lockdown mode where we rehearsed either in the garden of my basement flat in Paddington or in a greenhouse in Media City in Salford, if I was up there for Coronation Street.”

She has nothing but praise for Sherman. “He’s American but with a European sensibility and he writes quite extraordinarily well for women.” Almost 40 years ago, she’d appeared in his play, Messiah, an experience that brought her to the brink of a breakdown.

“The play was all about love and refugees, a companion piece to Rose. The main character, Rachel, would have conversations out loud with God. It was extremely intense and went to parts of my psyche I didn’t really want to examine. I got through it but I almost cracked up.

“When it was in Hampstead before it transferred into the West End, a man in the audience stood up and shouted at me for blaspheming. Somehow, I managed to carry on with my lines but, after the final curtain, I collapsed. I couldn’t stop crying.

“And yet, here I am doing the companion piece—with some trepidation.” It’s a considerable feat of memory. “Actually,” she says, “it’s

not learning the 45 pages of script that’s the most difficult part of it. It’s learning what’s between the lines to propel you to the next bit.” Now she’s having to learn it all over again.

She recorded Rose for Sky Arts last year on stage at the Hope Mill Theatre in Manchester, but in front of an empty auditorium. That’s all about to change. She opens at the same theatre on August 29 and runs until September 11, then transfers to the Park Theatre in north London from September 13 to October 16.

How will she get through it? “I need to sleep and I’m a very poor sleeper. I’ve got to be in the best of health and then I’ll be on top of it.

The Pianist, from the left: Maureen Lipman, Adrien Brody, Frank Finley, Jessica Kate Meyer

“I LIKE PLAYING BADDIES. IT’S VERY HARD TO PLAY GOOD PEOPLE”

I’m trying to tell myself that it will be like An Evening With… except not with Maureen but with Rose.”

To complete this daunting task, the producers of Coronation Street have sanctioned her absence from Weatherfield’s cobbles. Since 2018, she has played Tyrone Dobbs’s grandmother, Evelyn Plummer. “She’s an appalling old boot. I really love her. They keep trying to give her a soft side which I enthusiastically resist.

“I like playing baddies. As Joyce Grenfell once pointed out, it’s very hard to play good people.” She’s not

complaining, happily acknowledging that certain roles in a career stick much longer than others. “It’s never the things you’d like to stick. It’s never the Princess of France in Love’s Labour’s Lost. It’s Evelyn and, before that, it was Beattie.”

Maureen was cast in the British Telecom TV ads in late 1987. “They were going to call her Doris. I put them right off that.” What started as a clutch of eight short sketches mushroomed as the character took off. “The only trouble was that I’d

Maureen playing the beloved Beattie in a BT advert

Maureen Lipman plays Evelyn Plummer in Coronation Street

agreed to a buy-out. But eight ads became eight more and so on until I ended up doing 58 and I didn’t get a penny more.

“I got a bit queeny about it at one stage but, with the passage of time, I can see it gave me a certain kind of kudos. Beattie made me something of a household name while also attracting a degree of casual envy because people assumed she’d made me a rich person.”

She’s just signed another year-long contract to keep playing Evelyn. “I like the steadiness of it and the fact I have to keep learning. It’s good for my brain: I’m not a crossword or Sudoku person.”

“I won’t hear a word against it. It’s full of quite exceptional actors working with very little rehearsal, very little direction. Am I envious of some of my peers? Sometimes, yes. Do I have the right to be? Of course not. Would I like to be in Sex Education? Yes, of course. Am I sorry I’ve signed up with Corrie for another year? No, I’m not.”

She has a flat in Manchester. “Rula [Lenska] stays there when she’s in Corrie playing Claudia. And Lesley Joseph will stay when she tours in Sister Act.”

She’d love it if the producers came up with a storyline that involved Evelyn and Claudia. “Rula and I

“I WON’T HEAR A WORD AGAINST CORRIE . IT’S FULL OF QUITE EXCEPTIONAL ACTORS”

Nor is she jealous, she says, of actresses like Lesley Manville or Suranne Jones. “They’re younger than me, but would you buy me as a TV detective? Absolutely not.” She could have played Nicola Walker’s mother in The Split. “Well, yes, although Deborah Findlay was excellent in the role.

“But I don’t have a snob feeling about Corrie. When taxi drivers ask me what I’m doing and I tell them I’m in Coronation Street, they tend to go: ‘Aah, something will come up. I never watch it.’ And I mutter, ‘Well, I never drive a cab.’

always have such a laugh when we’re together. I’ll never forget the tornado that hit Media City three summers ago and, quite literally, blew us off our feet. It was terribly dangerous but we were helpless with laughter.”

The other “job” Maureen cherishes is that of mother and grandmother. Amy, 48, her daughter by the late writer, Jack Rosenthal, is herself a playwright, waiting these last COVID-ravaged years for her play on the Mitfords to see the light of day. In the meantime, she’s been writing an original screenplay about

Dame Maureen

Lipman with her son Adam Rosenthal after receiving her Damehood from Prince of Wales

“WE HIKED OVER THE CASTLE’S GROUNDS, ME IN HIGH-HEELED FERRAGAMO STILETTOS”

someone who came to the UK via the Kindertransport initiative in the Second World War.

Son, Adam, 42, and Taina have two children: Ava is ten; Sacha, five. Adam works for The Breakthrough Prizes, a set of international awards bestowed in three categories in recognition of scientific advances. He organises the prizes, writes the speeches and so on.

Maureen has collared a couple of prizes of her own: first a CBE and, last year, a DBE. Because of the pandemic, she was only allowed to take one guest to the ceremony. She chose Adam, a man she describes as

being a bit like Professor Branestawm, his mind on higher things.

The ceremony took place last October. “We were driven to Windsor but dropped at the wrong entrance, which meant hiking over the Castle’s grounds, me in high-heeled Ferragamo stilettos that meant I sank into the grass with every step.

“When we reached the correct destination, I suddenly looked down and saw that Adam’s flies were undone. ‘Uh yes,’ he said, ‘the zip’s broken.’ With a commendable effort of will, I held on to my fury.

“But it’s why, in every picture taken on the day, you will see Adam

clutching my heart-shaped scarlet patent leather handbag in front of his crotch. He hates me talking about him in print but, sorry, I think I’m owed this one.”

Prince Charles was the officiating royal—and she is a big fan. “The fact that he’s got opinions which have been proven to be right all along, and despite the laughter which initially greeted them, says much about him. He was ahead of the curve on climate change. He was derided as a tree-hugger. He was one of the first to talk about GM foods. Why on earth shouldn’t we have an intelligent king?”

Maureen herself isn’t someone short of strong opinions, made more palatable, more noticeable, because they’re laced with humour. “I am an actress,” she says, at one point, “not an actor, and, if somebody tries to take the word ‘woman’ away from me, I shall be very cross.

“Yes, some of my views can be a little old-fashioned. But don’t attack me for them. Consider my point of view. Demonstrate a little kindness. Be patient. If you have to kick a** at someone like Joanne Rowling, who’s literally taught a generation to read, something’s not right. Don’t wipe out the good a person does because they’ve done or said one thing you don’t agree with.”

She drops her shoulders and

smiles. Her husband, Jack, who, incidentally, wrote over 120 episodes of Coronation Street back in the day, succumbed to cancer in 2004.

In 2008, she met retired computer expert, Guido Castro, an Egyptian Jew, and enjoyed a happy relationship with him until his death following COVID in January last year.

“I was just lucky to find another really nice bloke. I think of both my men all the time.” Ask her if she’s happy right now and she says that “content” is a better word. “And that’s not bad at my age.” n

Rose is at the Hope Mill Theatre in Salford from August 29 – September 11 and at the Park Theatre in north London from September 13 – October 16

Mauren Lipman as the titular character Rose in Scott Le Crass’s new production

Annie Nightingale aged 25 in St James’s Park, London

I REMEMBER…

Annie Nightingale

She’s the queen of British radio—with a reign almost as long as that of Her Majesty. Annie Nightingale was the very first female DJ on BBC Radio One back in 1970. Fifty-two years later, she’s still on air on the same station and still fearlessly promoting new music

I GREW UP IN TWICKENHAM and I remember the moment when I realised the power of music for the first time. There used to be a fairground in the 1950s that would come to the rugby stadium and I have such a vivid memory of going there and being so thrilled by the lights, the noise and the rides. What made it spectacular to me, though, was hearing a song called “Rock And Roll Waltz” by a singer called Kay Starr being blasted out over these primitive speakers. It all felt so dangerous and loud and intoxicating to me.

PARIS IS A PLACE THAT WILL ALWAYS BE DEAR TO ME. I feel very lucky that I went there when I was about 14 in the late 1950s to stay with

a friend I’d made at school who moved there with her family. I must have only been there for about ten days, but I was already obsessed with Brigitte Bardot, Juliette Gréco and all those new wave films. We were so broke we didn’t even have money to ride the metro. I remember just how sealed Paris was from the outside world then. It wasn’t commercial at all. There was a bleak severity to the place where being intellectual seemed to be such a pre-requisite. I shared a single camp bed with my friend and could make one coffee last an entire day in a café on the Left Bank. It was my first introduction to how different life away from West London could be and I’ve never forgotten it.

I ENCOUNTERED UNBELIEVABLE SEXISM WHEN I WAS KNOCKING ON THE DOOR TO BE A DJ AT RADIO ONE. In the late 1960s the management wanted DJs to be “husband substitutes” so it took three years of asking before I was given my own show. I remember being at one radio event and when I told one of the bosses’ wives that I wanted to be a DJ she said, “Aren’t you afraid you’ll lose your femininity?” It was extraordinary and I still fight it today. If anyone calls me “dear,” I’ll react like a wounded animal. The fight for sexual equality goes on.

I TOOK RADIO ONE OFF THE AIR FOR EIGHT SECONDS ON MY VERY FIRST SHOW. I accidently pressed

the stop button on a record and, rather than instantly halting, it ground down very, very slowly. I was absolutely terrified and thought I’d blown it on my debut. Thank goodness the bosses forgave me but, believe me, eight seconds of dead air is a lifetime in radio!

THE BEATLES HELD THE BEST PARTIES. I was very good friends with their press officer Derek Taylor and I remember being invited, when I was a pop journalist at the Daily Express , to the Beatles Christmas party at the Apple offices on Savile Row in 1968. John and Yoko dressed up as Mother and Father Christmas and gave everyone presents. My young son, who came with me, got a

BBC DJs Emperor Rosko, Alan Freeman, Annie Nightingale and Johnnie Walker, 1976

kind of futuristic spinning top. What I didn’t realise until later was that, after I left, a load of Hells Angels turned up and absolutely trashed the place!

THE FIRST TIME I WENT TO GLASTONBURY I WASN’T THERE FOR WORK AT ALL. It was 1991 and I just went for fun, sleeping in the back of my car and ending up on stage with Teenage Fanclub kicking footballs into the audience!

Glastonbury is still fantastic but back then it wasn’t televised at all and was really very wild indeed. It was much smaller and I think there were only two stages. You had a

sense that you were in a place where the normal rules of everyday life didn’t apply and you could do absolutely whatever you wanted.

I remember John Peel being there and he got mobbed by more fans than the artists! His car got totally surrounded and he couldn’t even drive out of the festival.

I WAS TERRIFIED WHEN I WAS IN IRAQ. I went there in the late 1980s for Radio One to play a DJ set and it was so confusing to be in a land where breaking rules you didn’t even know existed could result in you being killed. I remember all these vast posters of Saddam Hussein

Annie with Paul McCartney in the 1970s

everywhere but I was told very firmly I couldn’t take photos of any of them. I remember going to an ancient site where I asked my guide if I could take home a shard of pottery I found on the ground. He said “absolutely not” and I’m very glad he did say that. If they’d found it on me at the airport I would have been in very serious trouble. I learned a lesson that day; don’t ever take things from ancient sites of civilisation!

JUST FOUR WEEKS AFTER CEAU SESCU WAS MURDERED IN ROMANIA at the end of the Cold War, I went over with some bands who were quite big at the time, like

Jesus Jones, to go on a small tour organised by the British Council. To this day, I have never, ever witnessed such passion, devotion and excitement among audiences. It was a real “punk” experience. The country had only been free of their dictator for a month, who had completely banned western music. The bands played in indoor stadiums and halls and the atmosphere was just so overwhelmingly chaotic, wild and delirious.

As far as these young Romanians were concerned, it might as well have been The Beatles up on those stages. They were just craving something new and free.

It was the most energy I have ever felt from live music in my life.

THE BYRDS WERE JUST THE TRIPPIEST BAND. I’ve been entranced by their music ever since I first heard it. Though my first interview with the band made me feel a little naïve. Jim McGuinn was well known for making mantras and pronouncements like, “He who stays cool is he who survives” and “All politicians should be on LSD.” I didn’t know what he meant by that so I asked him if he was talking about currency! I thought LSD was a misspelling of pounds, shillings and pence and that what Jim was trying

to say was that politicians should be sponsored and not corrupted. Luckily, he was very patient with me as he explained…

I’M ALWAYS AMAZED AT HOW PEOPLE IN THE CLUBBING SCENE used to be able to get themselves all over the world at such short notice for parties in the 1990s. I’ll never forget my obsession with wanting to party at a solar eclipse. I persuaded BBC Scotland to come with me to film one high in the Chilean Andes. It was one of those situations where so many things could have gone very wrong with cloud cover or altitude sickness but everything came together

perfectly at exactly the right time. I don’t know how they knew about it, or even made it, but clubbers who I’d seen in Los Angeles just a few days earlier had somehow made it there. It was the most unlikely and incredible combination of beating the odds to be able to have an experience that I’ve ever had.

I LIVE BACK IN LONDON NOW BUT FOR MANY, MANY YEARS BRIGHTON WAS MY HOME. I used to have a dinghy which we would drag out into the sea, but my favourite thing about Brighton is the people who end up there. It’s very liberal of course but even back in the

1960s there was a very strong gay community. Homosexuality was still illegal then but I had some fantastic friends, many of whom had titles. I knew a wonderful man who was Queen Victoria’s godson and some of my most treasured memories are of times with them—particularly a Count who would buy dead fish each day, make a beautiful watercolour painting of it then eat the fish.

Brighton is such a unique place, I still have so many friends there and I go back all the time. I don’t feel like I’ve ever really left Brighton at all. n

As told to Rob Crossan

Annie DJing in 2015

WHAT'S EATING US?

Eating disorders aren't just a young person's problem…

by Susannah Hickling

Caroline DrummondSmith’s eating disorder began at age 16 when she went to boarding school. She hated being there. “I felt so out of control, but the one thing I could control was what I ate,” recalls the 55-year-old health and wellness coach from near Frome in Somerset. “I focused on sport and decided not to eat.”

Over the next 35 years her anorexia reared its head every time she found herself in a situation she struggled with, like a broken relationship or a skiing accident that meant she couldn’t exercise. Terrified of piling on the calories, she would restrict her eating when she got to a certain weight. “I had a lot of rules around food,” she explains. “I would eat certain foods at certain times.

I could only have carbs, like bread, after eight o’clock at night. It was totally irrational. At times my weight was life-threatening.”

She tried therapy and being a day-patient at a recovery centre, which helped, but she wasn’t ready to get better. It was when she found herself at home with three teenagers during the summer holidays that the anorexia came back with a vengeance. Even her daughter saying, “I’m really scared Mummy’s going to die,” didn’t prompt her to tackle it. It had been with her so long. “Anorexia was my best friend,”

says Drummond-Smith.

But eventually she took herself in hand. Recovery, using the tools she’d learned from her previous attempts, took four years but, at the age of 50, she was finally free of anorexia. “In retrospect, I wish I’d had support,” Drummond-Smith says. “Although I knew how to do it, it was scary.”

She now helps other women recover from eating disorders.

An estimated 1.25 million people in the UK have an eating disorder, according to Beat, the eating disorders charity. We usually associate these conditions with

girls and young women, but older adults suffer too, including those in middle age and beyond. The NHS Health Survey for England 2019 found that one in six adults screened positive for a possible eating disorder. Sometimes, like Caroline DrummondSmith, they have been suffering since adolescence. Sometimes, it develops in adulthood. “When that happens there’s a lot of shame and embarrassment,” says DrummondSmith. “Older people think, I should be able to sort it out myself.”

It’s not just women who are affected. Up to 25 per cent of people with eating disorders are men. As

Martha Williams, Beat’s clinical advice coordinator, says: “Eating disorders do not discriminate against an individual’s age, gender or race.”

"We usually associate eating disorders with girls and young women, but older adults, both men and women, suffer too"

But there’s a lot we don’t know about eating disorders. They make up around nine per cent of people with a mental health condition in the UK, yet between 2015 and 2019 they accounted for just one per cent of the UK’s mental health research funding, according to a 2021 report compiled by Beat for the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Eating Disorders. As a result, stigmas and old attitudes about eating disorders being self-inflicted or trivial persist. It’s often difficult to access treatment, and harder still for older people who don’t fit the stereotype of an anorexic young woman. “Adults are forced to wait too long for potentially life-saving

treatment, with some waiting up to two years,” says Dr Agnes Ayton, chair of the eating disorders faculty at the Royal College of Psychiatrists.

The coronavirus pandemic has compounded the problem. Referrals to eating disorder services have increased rapidly since the start of the pandemic. Hospitalisations are up too, yet there are fewer beds because of COVID measures, meaning even longer waiting times.

The most common eating disorders are anorexia nervosa (not eating enough or over-exercising, or both), bulimia (eating too much and then making yourself vomit or taking laxatives to purge) and binge-eating

“There's shame and embarrassment around eating disorders. Older people think, I should be able to sort it out myself”

disorder (regularly eating a lot of food in a short space of time). “We are seeing increasing numbers of older women with anorexia nervosa,” says Dr Ayton.

Experts are unsure why some people develop eating disorders. “They are complex and serious mental illnesses,” says Martha Williams, “We do know they can develop due to a combination of biological, psychological and environmental factors, which can include but are not limited to genetics, abuse, grief, perfectionism, low self-esteem or big life changes such as divorce.”

For many adults, their problem is the result of an accumulation of life events. “They have often been struggling for a while,” says Rachel Evans, a chartered psychologist who specialises in eating disorder recovery. “It doesn’t just start.” They might have been serial dieters or even recovered from an earlier eating disorder.

“Many also have other psychological difficulties or disorders, such as anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder or personality disorders,” Dr Ayton points out.

Cognitive behavioural and other talking therapies can be very successful, but older patients’ needs are often more complex, because their issues are so ingrained. Sometimes they have health complications too— Caroline Drummond-Smith now has osteoporosis because of poor nutrition over many years.

Adults may need a multiagency approach, involving mental health services, GPs, hospitals and social services. But treatment is vital. “If an eating disorder develops from an early age and is left untreated, then sadly that person will likely continue to suffer, and their eating disorder will follow them throughout their lifetime,” says Martha Williams.

Sam Thomas, a 36-year-old writer from Brighton, believes lack of support for his bulimia in his teens and early twenties contributed to a later alcohol problem. At age 13 he would hide from bullies in the school toilets, binge-eat the contents of his lunchbox, then make himself sick. “The relief it gave me from that build-up of tension and anxiety, it was a cathartic experience,” he says. “I used bulimia as a weapon

Do I have an eating disorder?

The SCOFF questionnaire used by doctors asks:

• Do you make yourself Sick because you’re uncomfortably full?

• Do you ever worry that you’ve lost Control over how much you eat?

• Have you recently lost more than six kilograms (about One stone) in three months?

• Do you believe you’re Fat when others say you’re thin?

• Would you say Food dominates your life?

If you answer “yes” to two or more of these questions, you may have an eating disorder.

Your GP can refer you to a specialist counsellor, psychiatrist or psychologist.

I could self-harm with.” He overcame his bulimia himself, aged 21, while still on the waiting list for counselling. Writing and volunteering at a charity he founded for men with eating disorders gave him a sense of self-worth and living with his father meant fewer opportunities to binge and purge in secret. But he started abusing alcohol instead.

“If I’d had treatment when I was 16 or 18, would I have gone on to become alcohol dependent?” he wonders. “I would have had other healthier coping mechanisms.” He has come across many other men whose eating disorder has gone untreated.

“The services didn’t and still don’t exist,” says Thomas, who has now beaten his drink problem. “Some eating disorder units still don’t admit men.” Policies around mixed-sex inpatient wards and the need for separate bathrooms sometimes lead to men being excluded from the care they so desperately need.

There need to be changes in order to help all adults with an eating disorder, experts believe. Parity between adult and child and adolescent eating disorder services

would be an important first step. “This must start with urgent funding to ensure more adults get timely treatment to prevent suffering, dangerous complications and avoidable deaths,” says Dr Ayton.

“Health professionals also need proper training on eating disorders, so they can identify the signs, provide closer monitoring, discuss healthy approaches to nutrition, develop a prevention plan and refer people to more specialist help, if needed,” she adds.

On average, according to Beat, medical students get less than two hours’ teaching in eating

disorders. As a result, GPs often lack full understanding of these complex conditions.

Ultimately, the key to recovery is wanting to get well. “The longer you’ve had it, the more difficult it is,” says Rachel Evans. “But I tell my clients, ‘You also have the life experience and skills you can use to help you now.’” n

If you’re worried you or someone you know has an eating disorder, you can contact Beat at 0808 801 0677 or by visiting beatingeatingdisorders.org.uk

Knee To Know

When you walk on level ground, the force on your knees is equivalent to about 1.5 times your body weight. It’s no wonder they play up

Susannah Hickling is twice winner of the Guild of Health Writers Best Consumer Magazine Health Feature

What can possibly go wrong?

Plenty. The knee is a complex joint and we give it a lot of grief over our lifetime by walking, lifting, kneeling and high-impact activities, such as running, jumping and sports. Blows to the knee and sports where you are often twisting it are a common cause of injury, including sprained ligaments and muscles, torn cartilage, tendonitis (sometimes caused by excessive running, jumping or cycling), bursitis (from excessive kneeling) and, as you get older, osteoarthritis.

What if it’s arthritis?

In osteoarthritis, the cartilage in the joint wears away. The main symptoms are pain, stiffness and difficulty moving the joint. Having arthritis in your knee also makes you more prone to ligament injuries, as the muscles around the joint can become weak. It’s important to exercise to combat

pain, improve leg strength and balance, and maintain flexibility. Acupuncture may help with osteoarthritis pain.

How do you treat a knee injury?

First off, you’ll need RICE. This means resting your knee for a day or two, applying ice—such as a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel— for up to 20 minutes every two or three hours to bring down the swelling, compressing with a bandage, and elevating your injury above the level of your heart. Don’t play sports if you’re in pain, but if you’re itching to get going, try swimming or another low-impact activity, such as tai chi or pilates, once things have settled down.

And if it doesn’t get better? See your GP and set about getting a proper diagnosis. They might refer you to a physiotherapist—or you can opt to go privately—who can give you exercises to strengthen the muscles around your knee. Some injuries, such as torn ligaments, might need surgery.

before you exercise and consider sports that are easier on your knees. These include swimming, water aerobics, cycling (whether on the road or a static bike), pilates, brisk walking, or step up. A rule of thumb: never do an exercise where your knees stick out beyond your toes when you bend them. You might want to avoid deep squats and running. Wear shoes with a good tread, whether you’re exercising or simply out and about.

FOCUS ON EXERCISES THAT WORK YOUR HAMSTRINGS, QUADRICEPS, GLUTES AND HIP MUSCLES

How do I make my knees stronger?

Focus on exercises that work your hamstrings, quadriceps, glutes and hip muscles. These will also help to strengthen your knees. There are plenty of exercises to improve knee strength online.

What difference does body weight make?

Being overweight puts extra strain on your knees, raising the risk of injuries and osteoarthritis. Even modest weight loss will help. Combine losing a few kilos with exercises that tone the muscles round the joint, and your knees will look better too. n

What are the best ways to care for my knees? Obviously, prevention is better than cure. Warm up properly

For more weekly health tips and stories, sign up to our newsletter at readersdigest.co.uk

9 Ways To Clear Brain Fog

Feeling mentally sluggish or struggling to concentrate or find your words? You could have brain fog, which is not a medical condition so much as a response to an illness or something going on in your life. We’ve heard a lot recently about COVID causing brain fog, and “baby brain” is a common cry among pregnant women. Women who are going through menopause also complain, while chemotherapy and some diseases can make you less alert. But sometimes it’s down to lack of sleep, stress, depression or the side effects of medication. Try these strategies to make you think more clearly again:

1 Pack polyphenols into your diet

Polyphenols are a type of antioxidant. Antioxidants help reduce inflammation, which has been found to play a role in brain fog. Find polyphenols in blueberries, colourful veg, green tea and— hooray—in chocolate and coffee.

2 Opt for Omega-3 Traditionally found in cold-water fish like fresh salmon, mackerel, tuna and sardine, Omega-3 fatty acids boost brain function. Flaxseed and rapeseed oil

are also good sources of one of the key Omega-3 fatty acids, ALA.

3 Try turmeric Studies have suggested that this yellow spice might improve memory and mood, and reduce inflammation.

4 Boost Vitamin D levels Vitamin D deficiencies are associated with low mood and cognitive decline. Opt for a Vitamin D3 supplement.

5 Take regular exercise Consistent physical activity—even a country walk every day—is very good for guarding against depression and clearing your mind.

6 Get enough sleep Poor quality sleep is the enemy of a sharp brain. Try to go to bed at the same time every night and aim for seven to nine hours’ kip.

7 Do what you love, preferably with the people you love, whether family or friends. This will make you feel good and provide you with a support network.

8 Drink water Dehydration can make you more befuddled, so keep a glass of water at hand and carry a bottle of it when you’re out.

9 Train your mind Don’t be tempted to write lists all the time, but try to use your memory.

Ask The Expert: Psoriasis

Dr Nisa Aslam is a GP and skin expert at Typharm’s Skin Life Sciences Foundation

How did you become an expert on skin conditions, including psoriasis?

There are around 13 million dermatology appointments in primary care every year. Of those the most common things GPs see are eczema, psoriasis and acne. GPs should be managing most of these conditions. I had to upskill and become an expert, because I had so many patients who needed help.

What is psoriasis?

Psoriasis is a common inflammatory skin condition, where skin cells are replaced more quickly than usual. It causes red patches and, because you have this rapid turnover of cells, you see white scales on top of the patches. We see psoriasis in particular areas, such as the elbows, knees, lower back, scalp. Nail, hand and foot psoriasis are not uncommon either. You can also get psoriatic arthritis, which needs to be treated early to prevent joint damage.

What causes psoriasis?

Psoriasis is immune mediated, which means that the immune system produces inflammatory chemicals called cytokines, which trigger the psoriasis. There’s a genetic predisposition. If one parent has psoriasis, the chances of you getting it are 15 per cent; if both parents have it the risk increases to 40 per cent. Triggers include skin injury, sunburn, stress, alcohol, obesity, smoking and certain medications, such as beta blockers. One common type, guttate psoriasis, is triggered by a bacterial throat infection.

What treatments are available?

Emollients initially, then topical steroids like Fludroxycortide tape dampen the immune system and Vitamin D analogues to stop the rapid turnover of cells. If you go in with a strong enough steroid, you see resolution of your plaques within a few days. In secondary care, you think about things like UVB phototherapy and drug treatments.

What can people do themselves?

Know your triggers—keep a diary. Is it alcohol, sun, medication? See your GP. Whatever your level of psoriasis, keep up with the emollient, because it protects the skin barrier. Wear sunscreen and a hat in the sun. n

For more information, visit slsf.uk

Patience And Care

The key to improving healthcare is better listening, writes Dr Max

Have you ever sat in a hospital bed and had the assembled doctors talk about you as though you didn’t exist? Or a doctor comes up to your bed, looks at your chart and walks off without saying a word? Or the GP never looks up from their computer screen when they talk to you? If so, then you’re not alone. Research into patients’ view of healthcare has shown that this is all too common, with around a quarter

Max is a hospital doctor, author and columnist. He currently works full time in mental health for the NHS.

His new book, The Marvellous Adventure of Being Human, is out now

of patients reporting these kinds of experiences. This behaviour makes patients feel belittled and unvalued, and is important because it gets to the very root of how patients evaluate the quality of care that they receive.

While doctors like to focus on treatment outcomes, this is not how the general public tends to assess whether or not their doctor is any good. Research from around the world has consistently shown that it doesn’t matter which country

you live in or how your healthcare is delivered, most patients evaluate their experiences on how polite and empathetic the doctor was, not on the actual quality of medicine practised.

My mum, for example, recently started losing her sight. Understandably she was very worried. She went for an urgent appointment with an eye specialist at her local NHS hospital. When I telephoned her that evening to see how it went, she replied: “Oh yes, it was wonderful. They were all so lovely and kind.” Could she now see? No. Had they been able to treat it?

No. In fact, the clinic was running late and she’d had to wait for an hour to see the nurse, and three hours to see the consultant.

PATIENTS

EVALUATE HOW POLITE AND EMPATHETIC THE DOCTOR WAS

Now, from a medical perspective, the consultation clearly hadn’t been a success. While they’d ruled out emergency causes for her sight loss, they hadn’t really got to the bottom of the problem at all. She was now back at home, still unable to see properly and with no idea if she was going to go permanently blind. But that didn’t matter. What mattered to her was that a nurse had met her at the door and helped her to her seat. Someone had apologised when the clinic was overrunning and made all

the patients waiting a cup of tea. One of the nurses offered to get my mum a sandwich when lunch came. The consultant had touched her knee and listened to her as she explained what had happened. They’d asked about how the loss of sight had impacted on her life and the clinic nurse had asked to see photographs of my new nephew. A junior doctor had understood that the thing my mum was most worried about was that, as an avid reader, she wouldn’t be able to read a book again. My mum had been touched by her kindly attempts to reassure her. She felt she had received good care simply because the doctors and nurses had listened to her.

Equally, how many times, when asking how things went at the doctor’s, have you heard the reply, “Oh, it was awful, he was really rude.” Not, “Oh, it was awful, he prescribed the wrong medication, or gave me the wrong treatment.” Patients don’t evaluate the actual medicine that’s practised; it’s the communication skills of the doctor that determine how they evaluate the care. This is important because if doctors listened to their patients, then overnight people’s experience of the NHS would improve. That means we can improve the NHS without spending a single penny. n

The Doctor Is In

Dr Max Pemberton

Q: I was diagnosed with heart failure two years ago. How should I expect my health to change? Will I wear my heart out if I exercise too much? Will it stop working if I exercise too little? I have spinal stenosis affecting my thighs, so walking is limited. I also have type 2 diabetes. What should I do to save my heart from failing altogether?

- Glinda

A: Dear Glinda, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been diagnosed with heart failure. I’m afraid you’re correct—this is a serious and often life-limiting condition. Some people live for years with it while others get worse quickly. You signed off your letter “confused”, which I think a lot of sufferers feel—it’s very common for patients to have lots of questions. The heart’s main job is to pump blood first to the lungs where it absorbs oxygen, and then around the whole body where it delivers that oxygen along with other important things that are in the blood. It is basically a big pump. In heart failure, it’s no longer able to work as effectively, either because it has become

too weak or has become stiff. Because it’s not pumping as well as it should, fluid can build up in the legs and cause swelling, and also in the lungs, causing breathlessness. People sometimes feel weak or faint because not enough blood is getting to the brain or muscles. It’s caused by things such as heart rhythm problems, heart attacks, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and obesity. Unfortunately it can’t be cured and tends to get worse over time. However, there are medications that can help—in your longer letter you mention you’re already on these, so that’s good news. Regular exercise, eating well and stopping smoking can all help. Since you have difficulties with walking, you could consider exercise like swimming. You’ve led an active life in the past and this is good—it won’t have caused heart failure through wear and tear. If anything, the exercise will mean your heart is stronger. Making sure your diabetes is as controlled as possible will also help. n

Got a health question for our resident doctor?

Email it confidentially to askdrmax@readersdigest.co.uk

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HEALTH

Choose What To Remember, What To Forget

You can take more control of your recall—as our memory expert Jonathan Hancock explains

Iwas sorting through some boxes in the loft last week when I came across a teddy bear from my childhood. The moment that I saw my faded old friend, powerful memories flooded back from nearly 50 years before. In an instant I was reconnected with where I lived, who was around—and how I felt—at an extremely happy time of my life.

Not all objects trigger such welcome memories, however. I once had to bin a pair of running shorts because they reminded me too much of the day I tripped and ended up in A&E with a broken wrist! But maybe I was too hasty. According to a recent study, it’s possible to use thinking tricks to remove negative associations. And, in the process, you can learn a lot about how memory works—including how to get yours under control.

Volunteers were first shown how to create connections between an item and a set of negative emotions. They did this using vivid mental imagery— linking a child’s trainer to images of a playground accident, for example, so that the object became uncomfortable

to have nearby. Later, they were shown how to actively forget those feelings by consciously pushing away any pictures that appeared. And this turned out to be more than just a temporary distraction. It gradually weakened the bad memories—in some cases, erasing them altogether.

It shows that recall relies on associations and images. And you can strengthen both of these factors when you want to remember. For example:

• Pick up a favourite souvenir and enjoy the pictures it brings to mind— but also add extra details. You’ll make the object an even more powerful “portal” to happy times.

• To remember an intention or ambition, choose an object that symbolises it for you in some way, then visualise your future plans whenever you see the object. Again, strengthening the images will continually sharpen the memories On the other hand, when you want to forget an item’s bad associations:

• Practise pushing away any images it triggers. This should get easier over time.

• Try it with places, too—even people. Be aware of any negative pictures they provoke, and actively reject them. Make the images—and the unwanted feelings—fade.

The pictures you attach to things can connect you to some extremely powerful memories, for good or bad. But the good news is that you can choose which ones to keep. n

Just Cycle And fold away

There’s no excuse not to get on your bike this Spring. Get your indoor cycling fix and feel the benefits.

Great for general cardio fitness, exercise bikes can be a brilliant way of training at home. However, choosing the right bike is incredibly important, which is something that Roger Black and his team recognised when creating the Roger Black Folding Exercise Bike.

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Lifelong

Platonic Love

Meet the people choosing a different type of love

A few months after moving in with her friend Susie, Tracey Emerson knew that she’d found the life she wanted.

By Monica Karpinski

“It just kept feeling like it was a better situation than any alternative,” she says. “I always kept feeling like, ‘This is where I want to be,’ and that it does make sense.”

That was over 20 years ago, and the pair have lived together ever since as platonic life partners—a relationship where the person you build your life with is a friend.

Just like a spouse, platonic partners may share a home, finances, and even co-parent, but aren’t romantic or sexual with each other.

These sorts of partnerships are nothing new—the concept of chosen family is well-ingrained in LGBTQAI+ culture, while 19thcentury “Boston marriages” allowed unmarried women to live together—

partner—will become primary over that. The idea with a platonic life partner is that, actually, that’s not the case,” says sex and relationships psychotherapist, Miranda Christophers.

“You’re making a commitment to prioritise that relationship in your life. It’s just another way of experiencing a fulfilling relationship.”

More than “just friends”

“There’s no hierarchy of love,” says psychologist and friendship expert, Dr Marisa G Franco, who is currently writing a book about the power of platonic friendship.

IT'S JUST ANOTHER WAY OF EXPERIENCING A FULFILLING RELATIONSHIP

but a surge of interest driven by social media has thrust them into a new spotlight.

Now, we have the terms “platonic life partnership” and “platonic soulmate”, plus posts clocking millions of views that represent and legitimise these relationships.

And yet, because having a friend as the person we go through life with looks different to what we’re taught to expect, there’s still a lack of understanding around platonic partnerships and how they can work.

“There’s this idea that you’ll have friends, but a life partner—or what might be deemed a romantic

“True compatibility is: ‘You make me feel like myself, you make me feel seen, you make me feel understood’. A lot of the time, people access that through friendship. For a lot of people, their friends are their safest relationships.”

The building blocks of any relationship are feeling loved, secure, and being able to be vulnerable with each other—and these have nothing to do with sex, adds Dr Franco.

A close friendship can be as good a base as any for a healthy partnership.

For Chiderah Sunny, who ceremonially married her platonic partner, Deidre Olsen in their Berlin

flat around a year ago, it was the refuge and solace she found in their friendship that made her realise they could build a life together.

“We both immigrated to Berlin and we were at the height of chaos in our lives,” she says. “And in that moment, I felt completely defeated and disparaged. And there Deidre was.”

Chiderah proposed a few weeks before Deidre’s birthday.

While the two now identify as platonic soulmates rather than as married, they both intend to honour their lifelong commitment—supporting each other through thick and thin.

“We’ve really been there for each other, through sickness and health and through good and bad. I think those are the central tenets of a marriage,” says Deidre.

There is no reason why a friend can’t be a life partner—it’s just that there’s no social script for how this is supposed to look, says journalist Rhaina Cohen, who is writing a book about platonic life partnerships. So far, she has spoken with about 60 people in these relationships.

“People are confused by the idea of having a friend as the most important person to you,” she says. “In childhood, I think most people have had some experience of a very intense connection to a friend, and by the time you’re an adult that is not considered an appropriate way of organising your life.”

But the people Cohen has spoken to are raising children, buying properties together, and assigning each other as their emergency contacts—all decidedly grown-up pursuits. Tracey and Susie are written into each other’s wills.

Tracey Emerson and Susie

These life commitments build and require intimacy just as in any other relationship, says Christophers. “It’s very much [a relationship] of mutual respect and love and care, but not in a romantic or sexual way.”

Connection without expectation For Tracey, making platonic love her primary relationship has helped her to become her healthiest self.

Without the pressures that can come with seeking romance— namely, that we need to give all of ourselves to a romantic partner in

who now lives with them too. They are each free to pursue romantic and sexual relationships with other people if they’d like to, which Tracey says is “nice if it happens” but not something that she actively seeks out or needs.

This type of love can be defined as “being love”, says Dr Franco. “Being love is: I have a full self, and I’m loving you because you add something more to my life above and beyond that, and I don’t have to need you. You don’t have to fulfil something in me.”

THESE LIFE COMMITMENTS BUILD AND REQUIRE INTIMACY JUST AS MUCH AS IN ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP

order to feel whole—Tracey has been able to live as her own person while being supported emotionally by her platonic family unit.

“When I was in a relationship with the kind of men I used to go out with, I always felt like I'd lost my independence somehow, my identity,” she says.

“Whereas with this kind of situation that we have, it’s really about: who does everyone want to be as an individual, as part of the collective thing, and how can we support each other to do that?”

Tracey and Susie have recently been joined by their friend Mary,

Deficit-based love, on the other hand, makes us feel that a love compensates for something we lack in ourselves.

Feeling pressured to find fulfilment via sex and romance could fall under the umbrella of deficit-based love—and this can feel so intense and urgent because your sense of self is literally on the line, Dr Franco adds.

“You’re always trying to be chosen. You’re always side-lining yourself,” says Deidre. “I thought that was the only way I could be fulfilled, that I needed to latch onto a romantic partner to have any sense

of self-worth.”

When she met Chiderah, Deidre realised how much strength and beauty she could find in a love that existed outside these expectations.

Breaking from tradition

Tracey, Deidre, and Chiderah all agree that their relationships have helped them to move away from restrictive ideas of what life is supposed to look like. Being aware that there are other options is probably why so many people

all—the key is that we each get to choose based on works best for us.

“It’s literally the bedrock of society: white, Christian, two and a half kids, white picket fence house. It’s so socially ingrained, and you’re jailed to this idea,” says Deidre. “I think we should all construct the communities and households that make us happy. Everybody can have the chosen family of their dreams.”

And because women no longer need to rely on men or marriage for things like money or a bank account,

WE SHOULD ALL CONSTRUCT THE COMMUNITIES AND HOUSEHOLDS THAT MAKE US HAPPY

are now interested in platonic partnerships, adds Tracey.

For example, the idea that we should seek out “the one” who must be everything to us—lover, best friend, partner—can draw our focus away from what we actually want from our relationships.

“There aren't a huge amount of relationships where everything works,” says Tracey. “If we’re more open-minded, we can separate the different strands of who we are and what we might want from people.”

This might look like several close platonic friendships alongside a primary romantic one, vice versa, or not wanting sex or romance at

they may well turn to relationships that suit them better.

“Now that women don’t need [marriage] to get their basic needs met, they’re able to ask for needs that are higher up on the list, like true emotional connection,” says Dr Franco. “So now, we can reconfigure all of these other ways that we were told there’s a template for how we can live our lives. And we can ask ourselves: ‘What actually fits?’”

It seems that, in the UK at least, more people are deciding that the path of traditional marriage isn’t for them. Marriage between opposite-sex couples is now on a general decline, with 2018 noting

the lowest rates on record. Growing awareness of non-traditional relationships in a more inclusive and accepting society may well be a contributing factor.

Part of this is finally having the language to recognise what platonic life partners are to each other: not just friends, not lovers, but a distinct

connection in themselves.

"It’s amazing to see younger people having this language and these narratives from a more formative age,” says Tracey. “What would it have been to be us, but at a different time? How would we have expressed ourselves? How much stuff could we have cut out in the middle?” n

A platonic precedent

As far back as 1780, the Ladies of Llangollen (Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby) took up residence together to escape unwanted marriages. One guest to visit their home in Wales was William Wordsworth, who wrote the sonnet " To Lady Eleanor Butler and the Honourable Miss Ponsonby" about them

Tracey, Susie and Mary

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SOUTHAMPTON My Britain:

By Anna Walker

The port city of Southampton is perhaps best known as the departure point of the RMS Titanic, but can also lay claim to being the home of the Spitfire and many famous former residents, including Jane Austen, Benny Hill, Craig David and Ken Russell.

The city has had a significant role to play in the history of Britain—it was where troops left England for the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, was the major embarkment point for D-Day, and was heavily bombed during the Second World War. But there's more to this city than its fascinating history. Modern Southampton is a busy metropolis, with a prosperous retail industry, two high-profile universities and countless museums and galleries attracting visitors to its recently developed Cultural Quarter.

We spoke to two long-term residents of this bustling port city to get a flavour of life in one of Britain's southernmost points.

Nigel Philpott

Nigel Philpott, 57, is the Chairman of See Southampton and a volunteer on Southampton’s heritage steamship, the SS Shieldhall. He has lived in Southampton for nearly 20 years.

I left Northampton in 2003 to manage the commercial side of Exbury Gardens and Steam Railway in the New Forest, a beautiful woodland garden. It is full of colour and scent, especially in the months of April and May when the Rothschild Collection of rhododendrons, azaleas and camellias is at its peak. I’d say there is no finer garden in the world at this time!

Southampton's heritage steamship, the Shieldhall, is a member of the

National Historic Fleet. She started life as a humble sludge boat on the Clyde in the mid-1950s, but today welcomes passengers from all over the world for summer cruises on the Solent and further afield. She’s a real survivor. You can access all areas, including the Bridge, Engine Room and Boiler Room, where temperatures can reach in excess of 100 degrees—you’ll feel the burn!

Shieldhall is today managed by a set of very proud volunteers, including me. I enjoy giving commentaries on the sights and sounds of Southampton Water and the Solent—an area rich in history and interest.

As Chairman of See Southampton, I keep Southampton’s maritime heritage alive by organising a series of guided walks around the town walls and visiting

the city’s many towers and vaults—a legacy of a time when Southampton was a leading importer of wine and a key defensive position on the south coast of England.

The spirit of the Southampton people was reflected in 1914 at the unveiling of The Titanic Engineers Memorial, when over 100,000 residents attended its unveiling—the population of Southampton at the time was only 120,000. The Titanic tragedy saw 550 Southampton crew lose their lives, and there are many memorials spread across the city. Residents also had to recover from the bombing raids of the Second World War—Southampton’s Port and Spitfire Factory were major targets. During the conflict 630 lives were lost and nearly 4,000 buildings destroyed.

The resolve to push on and make Southampton a better place to live and work is ever present and evident at every turn.

My favourite place in Southampton is the QEII walk, which extends from the top of the High Street to Town Quay, punctuated halfway by the town's most important monument, The Bargate. Anything to the North is "Above Bar", anything to the south "Below Bar". But if walking "The Mile", allow time to explore the adjacent parks—especially Mayor Fred Perkins' half mile-long Lime Tree Avenue, planted in 1862. It’s shady, on the flat and there’s always something on!

Chris Reeves

Events director Chris Reeves, 36, was born and raised in Southampton, and has lived all over the city.

I was born in Southampton and I love all the outdoor activities on offer here. I learned to ski, sail, kayak and rock climb right here in the city!

We are very quiet and proud here in Southampton. There is a huge amount of opportunity right here in the centre of it and it is a very supportive environment to work in.

The spirit of the place really comes alive when big events are on and I think the ABP marathon particularly highlights and showcases this as residents come out and cheer on all the runners!

I love that our location on the south coast gives us great variety—from huge parks and green spaces to being out on the water! I love my sailing and water

sports so my favourite thing to do in the city involves being on the water. Sailing or kayaking in Southampton water where you can see the city from a totally different perspective—that's where I like to be!

I set up my first company when I was 18 years old, and now my business ReesLeisure organises the largest sporting events in the city. We have swim schools, triathlon events for first timers and national cycling and running events too! n

To plan a future visit to Southampton, head to visitsouthampton.co.uk

If I Ruled Helen Bauer

The World

Comedian Helen Bauer is one of the UK’s most exciting rising stand-up stars. She also co-hosts the podcasts, TrustyHogs and DaddyLookAtMe

I would double the number of ladies’ toilets. And I don’t care who uses them! With [regards to] the debate around trans women using ladies’ bathrooms—of course they should! I use the men’s all the time because the queue is so much shorter.

Women have so much more to do in the toilet. We’ve got to change tampons, we’ve got Mooncups to deal with, it takes us longer to get stuff off, my friends have cystitis constantly… We need more space

because I genuinely think the time we’re losing in the queue is part of the reason we don’t have equal pay.

Everyone would have to do AmDram theatre once in their life.

I think there are a lot of ego problems in our society—myself included—and a season of proper, regional AmDram would really help. The kind where no kids audition, so you have a 60-year-old plumber playing Annie. It’s good for your

confidence, it’s good for your sense of play, and it gets rid of ego entirely!

The mega rich wouldn’t be allowed to own extra homes. It just doesn’t make sense to me that some people have six or seven homes, when there are so many homeless people. There are so many of these people out there with portfolios of extra houses—I didn’t like it when I played Monopoly with my brother and I don’t like it now.

Mental health care would be accessible to everyone. All mental health care would be accessible to anybody who needed it without a waiting list. Not a very funny answer, but I think it’s important.

Drunk food would be free. Everyone needs access to food when they’re pissed. It stops everything—it stops fights, it stops people wandering around the street… Plus, food always tastes better when you’re drunk and I don’t think you can gain weight from it because calories don’t count when you’re drinking. I think if kebab shops were free past 11pm, nobody would have a bad night.

Disneyland would be built next to my house. According to current Disneyland rules, adults can’t attend dressed as Disney characters, because the children might get confused. That’s a really frustrating

rule, because I’m like six foot one, and I smoke. Even if I went to Disneyland dressed as Cinderella, there’s no chance of kids being like, “Oh, Mama, look at Cinderella!”. So I really want a Disneyland in South London that I can go to dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

Garlic mayo would become accessible to all people at all times. I think if you order a pizza, it should always come with a never-ending supply of garlic and herb dips. I know that Domino’s tried to appease us in 2016 when they created the four-in-one garlic and herb pot. I wasn’t appeased.

I would deal with bullying in schools. There’s got to be a better way to deal with bullies than to remove them from school for the day or putting them in isolation. Hurt people hurt people, and they need to be taken care of. But also, it means they’re only gone for a short time and then they come right back. I still have friends now who peer pressure people on nights out, and I think it comes back to them being peer pressured at school… n

As told to Anna Walker

Helen Bauer: Madam Good Tit is at Pleasance Courtyard at Edinburgh Fringe throughout August and then tours nationwide. Visit helenbauer.co.uk

© JAMES DEACON

SWIT

In 1962, nurses at a small Canadian hospital sent home two women with the wrong babies.

CHE D

Then, 50 years later, their children discovered the shocking mistake.

photographs by Jessie Brinkman Evans by Lindsay Jones from the atavist

The town of Come By Chance, Newfoundland

Rita Hynes lugged her pregnant body up the rural hospital’s wooden steps. It was the night of December 7, 1962, and her rounded belly tightened with each contraction. At the hospital, she felt the intensifying crests of pain—at first bearable, then searing as the night wore on. Just after midnight, the cries of her new baby pierced the air. A boy! She named him Clarence Peter Hynes. He was deposited in the hospital’s nursery and tucked into a bassinet, while Rita dozed in the women’s ward.

Clarence, whom everyone calls Clar, grew up in a Canadian fishing town, St Bernard’s, perched on the edge of Fortune Bay in the North Atlantic island province of Newfoundland. His father, Ches, was a fisherman, and Clar was the first in a steady stream of infants to arrive at the Hyneses’ home. Clar slept in a top bunk in a room he shared with his brothers. They were fairer than he was—Clar had a toasty complexion and a head of thick, dark hair. He grew to become a local heartthrob, with a chiselled brow and lean, muscular frame. When he drove his navy blue Chevy Camaro around town, the teenage girls of St Bernard’s all swooned.

At age 24, Clar met a woman named Cheryl at a motel bar in Marystown, farther down the boot-shaped peninsula from where he grew up. She was the belle of the bar, and he was

instantly smitten. As the two talked over beers and glasses of rum and 7Up, Cheryl found him attentive and kind. They danced and chatted the night away. She didn’t want it to end. They were married two years later in Marystown’s white, steepled Anglican church.

Rita was diagnosed with late-stage ovarian cancer a few years later, at 50. Clar nursed her as a mother would a baby. He held her and rocked her in his childhood bungalow on the hill, making sure to face a window on the ocean so she could see the waves. Rita would also stay with Clar and Cheryl at their home in the provincial capital, St John’s, during her futile cancer treatments. Clar spoon-fed his mother bowls of fish and potatoes. He spent day after day with her right up until the very end, so she would never be alone. Five years after that, lung cancer took Clar’s father.

Clar and Cheryl raised three children of their own. By 2014, Clar was a welding foreman at Bull Arm, where employees were building an oil platform that would eventually be towed out to sea. That December, 52 years to the day after he was brought into the world, Clar overheard a woman in the hallway outside his office sing out to a co-worker, “It’s Craig’s birthday!” The woman was Tracey Avery, a cleaner at Bull Arm.

IN NEWFOUNDLAND, YOUR BAY AND YOUR BLOODLINE STILL DEFINE WHO YOU ARE

She was talking about her husband, who also worked at the site. How funny, Clar thought. “It’s my birthday, too,” he said with a laugh.

“Oh!” Tracey replied. “How old are you?” When Clar told her his age, Tracey’s next words came tumbling out: “Where were you born?”

“Come By Chance rural hospital,” Clar said.

Tracey stood still for a second, her mouth agape. Then she ran, leaving her mop and cart behind.

Different From the Start

The stirring of this long-buried truth might have been sheer

coincidence, one of those wild things that just happens. Or maybe it was inevitable, born of the nature of this place. Newfoundland has a rugged coastline, with hundreds of communities nestled into crooks, crannies, and coves, each its own remote kingdom fortified by rolling bluffs. Extended families are vast and tightly bound. For a long time they had to be. In such an austere place, it was a matter of survival. Today on “The Rock,” as Newfoundland is affectionately known by its inhabitants, your bay and your bloodline still define who you are.

Getting to places along Newfoundland’s 6,000 miles of mountainous coast has always been a challenge. In the early 20th century, people in many of the island’s approximately 1,300 outports—the local term for fishing towns—had limited access to health care. Rural hospitals—small clinics with beds and live-in nurses—were strategically located to serve dozens of outports at once.

The first of these opened in 1936, including one in Come By Chance, which served more than 50 outports. Pregnant women arrived there in an unending procession, by dirt road and boat, from capes and islets. By 1958, Newfoundland’s families were, on average, the largest in Canada— households had seven, eight, even ten children.

“HOW DO YOU GET BACK WHAT YOU MISSED? YOU’LL NEVER GET IT BACK”

CRAIG AVERY

Many women returned to the rural hospitals on a nearly annual basis to give birth. Among them was Mildred Avery, who came from a Protestant hamlet called Hillview, on Trinity Bay. By the time she was 29, five children, all boys, filled the house built by her husband, Donald. On December 7, 1962, Mildred arrived in Come By Chance to deliver her sixth child. Early the next morning, the baby emerged. It was another boy, weighing in at just under seven pounds. Mildred named him Craig Harvey Avery, and he was placed in the nursery alongside the other squinch-faced newborns, including Clar, who just seven hours earlier had taken his first breath.

Mildred took Craig home to Hillview, adding him to her brood. From the start Craig was different. Nobody in the Avery family could figure out who he looked like. He grew into a strapping blue-eyed jokester, nothing like his quiet, darkhaired siblings. Craig was freckled; his father, Donald, had high, sculpted cheekbones. Donald worked variously as a woodcutter, carpenter, fisherman and mason, with Craig often at his side.

Craig quit school when he was 15 and joined his brother Wayne in Ontario at a porcelain factory, making sinks and toilets. He was on the rowdy side, a guy who picked fights and chased all the pretty girls. When he moved back to Hillview, Craig got odd jobs, helping build an extension on the wharf. He did a little bit of everything, just like his father, and took care of family members when they needed a hand, stacking their wood or shovelling their snow.

Craig married his first wife, who was from the next cove over. Several years later, after three children and a divorce, he found his partner for life, the sister of one of the men with whom he played softball. Tracey was feisty, the type who didn’t miss a beat. Eventually, they both got jobs at Bull Arm—the same site where Clar Hynes was employed. It was Tracey who first noticed the man who looked strikingly like her in-laws. Clar had Mildred Avery’s brown eyes and strong nose, and he could have

been the twin of one of Craig’s brothers, Clifford.

But Tracey didn’t think much more about the uncanny likeness until that December when she discovered her husband not only shared a birthday with Clar but had been born at the same hospital.

That night, Tracey and Craig sat up in their queen-size bed, talking and drinking black tea until the sun rose. It was a huge mental leap from recognising a series of coincidences to wondering if he was switched at birth, but inside Craig knew—he just knew.

Something clicked into place, a piece of his existence that had always stuck out awkwardly. His mind spun with questions: How did it happen? What was my life supposed to be like? Where would I be now? What would I be doing?

Searching for Answers

Soon after, the Averys decided they needed photos of Clar to show Craig’s siblings. After a few days, Tracey got her chance. They were in the Bull Arm lunchroom, at their usual table, when they spotted Clar. Tracey held her phone up, surreptitiously snapping a picture of him in profile. Over the next few days, Craig texted the image to his brothers and sister. They shook their heads in disbelief. Craig’s older brother Clifford, the one who looked almost identical to Clar, offered to do a DNA test to determine if Craig was really his kin.

“I DON’T THINK CRAIG AND I WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO WERE SWITCHED”

CLARENCE HYNES

When Tracey and Craig approached Clar to tell him about their suspicion, he found the whole thing outrageous. Sure, his mind wandered briefly: Wow, Craig does look a lot like my brother. And he remembered some odd encounters he’d had over the years. There was, for example, the time in a toy store when he heard a woman say, “Cliff! Cliff!” After repeated calls, to which he hadn’t responded, the woman approached him. “Oh,” she said, surprised when he explained he was Clarence Hynes. “I thought you were Cliff Avery from Hillview.”

Still, when the Averys told him their theory, Clar dismissed the possibility that he wasn’t the person he’d always been. Everyone looks like someone.

Craig got the email with the results comparing his DNA with Clifford’s in the late autumn of 2015. He was too nervous to click on the message himself, so Tracey did it. Not only did he and Clifford not share the same father, but they weren’t even distantly related. The first person Craig called was Clar. But Clar, even while he felt a wave of sadness, wasn’t convinced that the news applied to him.

That winter, Clifford started calling Clar. He wanted to meet, but Clar always had an excuse. Then, one day that spring, Clifford died by suicide after quietly suffering from depression for several years, following the death of his young son. At work, Craig handed him the obituary, and Clar politely accepted it, but he couldn’t bring himself to read it, and he didn’t attend the funeral either. It has nothing to do with me, he told himself again.

But the truth seeped in slowly. For the first time in his life, he didn’t want to go to work. Unshovelled snow piled up in his driveway. He was like a bird caught in a crosswind. Clar moved from his bed to the sofa, the sofa to the bed, sometimes stopping to sob at the kitchen counter.

Fearing her husband might take his own life, Cheryl hid the car keys each night after dinner, tucking them into a black plastic box high in the bedroom wardrobe, where she also stashed all the medication in the house. Some nights, when Clar couldn’t sleep, he walked to his

younger brother Chesley’s home, where he talked and cried with his head in his hands until dawn.

Chesley had never seen Clar, 17 years his senior, in such a fragile state. As the eldest sibling, Clar had always been a father figure, especially after their dad died. To see him like that shook Chesley to his core.

It took more than a year for Clar to surface from the abyss. His wife and sisters convinced him to see a doctor, and he was diagnosed with clinical depression. Once he was on the right medication, he slowly returned to his old self. That was when he decided it was time. He knew that mental illness ran in the Avery family, that Clifford had suffered from it. For his own health and that of his kids, Clar had to be sure: Was he a Hynes or an Avery?

When Clar’s test results arrived in the post, in the winter of 2019, he called Craig. Clar had laid out his results on the kitchen counter next to Clifford’s, which Craig had shared with him. “Everything was a match,” Clar said. He and Clifford had been brothers.

There was silence on both ends of the phone. Finally, Craig spoke: “We know now that it’s all real.”

The next question has plagued the men and their families ever since: how did it happen?

ALife-Changing Mistake

Digging for answers led the Averys and the Hyneses to a nurse with

an odd nickname. Christina Anne Callanan was born in the Irish city of Galway in 1924. She trained to be a nurse and, at age 19, moved to Canada for work. In her thirties, she relocated to Come By Chance, a town with one main road, a post office, and a general store.

Callanan was brisk and competent, the first to emerge from her quarters on the second floor of the hospital each morning. She rose to the position of head nurse, which, in addition to delivering babies and assisting in the operating room, required managing the office, distributing prescriptions, and supervising staff.

Some colleagues described her as like a big sister. But other colleagues found Callanan to be like an army

sergeant who put everyone on edge.

Her underlings called her Nurse Tiger behind her back, for her fiery, domineering ways. She was known for pillorying the young nurses and their aides. “Where’s your hat?” she would roar across the room to a young woman who’d forgotten it that day.

The nursery was often packed. When all the bassinets were full, babies were deposited in red-and-white milk crates. Nurse’s aides, who were as young as 16 and didn’t have medical training, were overworked, with little to no time off. They were often the ones who looked after the babies at night while the mothers slept in the wards. They warmed bottles of milk, scooped up crying infants to console them, and changed soiled diapers.

From left: Rita and Ches Hynes; Mildred and Donald Avery

NEWFOUNDLAND

Hillview

St. John’s

Come By Chance

St. Bernard’s

The bassinets and milk crates were supposed to be labelled. Aides and other staff were warned: make sure the name on the label matches the baby’s arm band, and make sure both match what’s on the mother’s hospital bracelet. But sometimes arm bands slipped off after the swelling in the babies’ limbs—a common occurrence after birth—went down. If a nurse or an aide was in a rush, a baby could

CRAIG AND CLAR HAVE BECOME LIKE BROTHERS, BUT THEIR BOND IS ALTOGETHER DIFFERENT

attached to mother and baby after they’d been separated, once the infant was in the nursery with the other newborns. Callanan was in charge in December 1962, when Craig and Clar were born. She delivered both babies, and it’s her name, signed with tight, curlicued Cs, atop the medical records of the births.

Aftermath

easily be placed in the wrong bassinet or crate.

By all accounts, Callanan ran a tight ship, but then something changed. In the process of one particularly difficult birth, a nurse’s aide got in her way. The aide was trying to put the correct identity band on the baby. Protocol dictated that both the infant’s and the mother’s bands be attached immediately following birth in the delivery room. But Callanan became annoyed and sent the aide out of the room. “Do that outside,” she said. “It needn’t be done here.”

From that point on, protocol was relaxed. Identity bands could be

Together, Clar and Craig and their families decided to sue the Newfoundland government for the hospital’s negligence and the irreparable damage done by it. The families found out that a few short months before Clar and Craig were born, another family had been given the wrong baby—but they had luckily realised the mistake. If action had been taken, the Averys and Hyneses argue, maybe Craig and Clar would have gone to the right homes. They believe the department of health should have intervened, investigated mistakes made by and complaints lodged against Callanan, and set more stringent birth-management policies.

As they wait for the legal case to proceed, the families are coming to grips with what happened. In the summer of 2019, Craig made his first visit to St Bernard’s, where Clar had grown up and then nursed Rita when she was dying. When he arrived, he stood outside for an hour and a half before he could bring himself to step inside the bungalow. At the kitchen

counter, he cracked lobster claws with Clar, conscious that all this—the view, the people, the walls—should have been home. Meanwhile, the Hynes siblings took in their new brother’s moustached grin, how he palmed his fork like their father had, how he too walked with a slight hunch.

Craig and Clar have become like brothers, but their bond is something altogether different. They spend time together, and with their siblings, on snowmobile excursions punctuated by boil-ups— an afternoon of tea and hot dogs roasted over a crackling fire. On weekends they stay at Craig’s getaway cabin or park their camper vans in St Bernard’s.

you get back all these years?” he says. “How do you get back all that you missed? You’ll never get it back.”

They find comfort in cherished family members’ tics and mannerisms that they see in each other. Craig reminds Clar of his father— the way he taps one arm with two fingers on the opposite hand, the way he sits when he eats, hunched over with his knees apart. For Craig, looking at Clar’s eyes is like looking at his brother Clifford’s, or his mother’s.

The men try not to indulge too much in the what-ifs. Life has been hard lately. Newfoundland’s fossil fuel industry has cratered, and Craig was laid off. Matters grew worse with the pandemic, and Craig struggled to fill his days. He used to be more easygoing, but now he’s quick to anger. “How do

For his part, Clar keeps conspicuously busy. When he’s not at work, he’s building a new garage and constructing a cabin in St Bernard’s. The tasks help keep his emotions at bay, especially the regret about the family he never met. All the parents— Rita and Ches, Mildred and Donald— are gone now, a sad fact that nonetheless means the families don’t have to navigate an extra layer of emotional turmoil. Clar watched a video of his birth mother for the first time in 2020. It was footage of Mildred dancing. As Clar took in her short grey curls, the eyes like shiny river stones, the long nose that was also his own, he shook his head in awe. This was the woman in whose body he grew, who laboured to give him life, who surely loved him at first sight. This was the closest to her he could ever be. Nothing can undo or excuse that terrible mistake made in Come By Chance, but before there was any knowledge of wrong families, there were loving ones. Now there’s something else: an unlikely unit of Hyneses and Averys, welded together by the cruelest of truths, and also by compassion and devotion. n

© 2021, THE ATAVIST. FROM “THE LIVES OF OTHERS,” BY LINDSAY JONES, THE ATAVIST (MARCH 2021). ATAVIST.COM

Just BlendingIn!

These animals are masters at merging with their environment

By Doris Kochanek

 This green tree frog has taken a seat in a canna plant. With a little luck, no predator will discover him here. Many of these amphibians, mainly native to the southeastern United States, are only a couple of centimetres long and make tasty appetisers for snakes, lizards and birds.

Photo: © Getty Ima G es/Jeff R Clow

 Animals that lay their eggs in nests on the ground run the risk of losing them to predators. To protect their roost, golden plovers do not rely solely on their eggs’ camouflage. If an enemy comes close, one of the birds will draw attention to itself and lure the intruder away.

 What can be seen swimming off the coasts of Western and Southern Australia is not a plant, but a ”sea dragon.” These animals grow up to 35 centimetres long and, among kelp, are hardly recognisable as animals. Their colour varies depending on the depth of the water; the deeper they live, the darker they are.

 Woe to the animal that gets too close to this Mississippi alligator covered in duckweed. Although adults can weigh up to 70 stone, they are able to move at lightning speed. Mississippi alligators live in wetlands, lakes and slow-moving waters across the southeastern United States.

 It’s hard to tell where the canine ends and the carpet begins. This fluffy four-legged dog is a male Coton de Tuléar. The breed with cottony-soft fur originates from Madagascar, where it is said to have been favoured by royalty. The small dogs are particularly friendly and playful.

 Hardly distinguishable from its home is the dwarf seahorse Hippocampus bargibanti, found in the Western Pacific. The creatures, which are about two centimetres long, live in small groups on gorgonian corals, whose colour they take on. They were discovered in 1969 by scientist Georges Bargibant while collecting corals.

 If a screech owl remains motionless, it is almost invisible on the bark of a tree. About 25 species of these medium-sized birds inhabit the Americas. At dusk and at night, they prey on insects, lizards, frogs and other small animals. But these owls do not actually screech. Their calls are more like warbles or hoots.

 Unsurprisingly, this insect found in the Philippines, the Phyllium philippinicum, is also known as a walking leaf. During the day they sit quietly on the plant they call home, which they also happen to strongly resemble. At night the males leave the security of this disguise and swarm out in search of a mate.

Photos, C lo C kw I se f R om l eft: (P R ev I ous sPR ead) © Getty Ima G es/w I tte-a R t_de; © Getty Ima G es/Rosema R y Calve R t; © Rolf Nussbaume R

Ancient caves, monasteries, and other must-sees for fromage fans

Six Places Cheese Lovers Should Visit

By Sam O’Brien

From Gastro obscura

The iconic dairy cows of the Swiss Alps

photo: ©Chase Dekker Wil Dl ife i mages/getty images

TThere’s something about cheese that elicits a kind of passion and loyalty unrivalled in the culinary world. That might be why people are willing to traverse mountains, wander through caves, and milk even the most mighty beasts, all in the pursuit of a delicious dairy product.

Beyond the storied, classic purveyors of Brie and burrata, however, there’s a vast network of adventurous cheesemakers and aficionados. Here are six places where fans can fulfil their love for fromage.

1KALTBACH, SWITZERLAND

Kaltbach Cave

In the undulating green sprawl of an Alpine valley not far from Lucerne, where clouds swim against snowcapped mountains and placid cows graze on verdant meadows, a cave formed from a prehistoric seabed carries a glorious culinary secret.

Many shoppers browsing cheese aisles in grocery stores around the world will recognise the little wedges of Emmi Kaltbach Le Gruyère, with their distinctive black labels featuring a blue company logo and Swiss cross. But few know that the cheese is meticulously aged in the Kaltbach Cave, a tunnel-like sandstone

formation inside Santenberg mountain with climatic conditions that are just right for ripening cheese. The cool subterranean labyrinth, said to be 22 million years old, is the natural incubator for up to 120,000 wheels of cheese, mostly Gruyère and Emmental.

Stacked shelves stretching more than a mile hold the cheese at a temperature of 12.5 degrees Celsius year round, and the cool waters of the river (Kaltbach means “cold river”) that runs through the cave keep humidity levels at around 96 per cent. The cave’s unique climate and the interaction between the sandstone’s mineral deposits and the cheese create a distinctive flavour

Kaltbach Cave provides ideal conditions for ripening cheese

and aroma, and give the rinds their signature dark brown colour.

Like artists working on their masterpiece, cavemasters turn, wash, and brush the wheels with a brine solution every seven to ten days. The cheeses stay in the cave for up to nine months, diligently monitored until they reach just the right aromatic and textural maturity. The art of caring for and gauging the maturity of cheese is a skill transferred down through generations of cave masters at Kaltbach, with no written record of the training.

The cave was discovered in 1953; in need of storage space, local cheesemakers began keeping their cheese there. In 1993, Emmi acquired

the cave and has been crafting, storing, and ageing their finest cheeses in it since then.

2BJURHOLM, SWEDEN

The Elk House (Älgens Hus)

Moose milk is sold commercially in both Russia and Sweden, but one small farm with a herd of 11 moose, The Elk House (moose are also known as elk in some communities) is the only place in the world that produces moose cheese. The proprietors of the farm are famous enough for their moose-based dairy products that they now have an upscale restaurant, gift shop, and museum for visitors, who can meet the domesticated moose.

3TILLAMOOK, UNITED STATES Tillamook County Creamery Association

In the Northwest state of Oregon, cheese cubes hang from the ceiling in this creamery’s recently renovated visitors centre, which also features such memorabilia as a 1927 butter churner and a stamp used to authenticate packaged blocks as genuine Tillamook cheese.

Most impressive is the view of the factory floor, where blocks of cheese as big as milk crates roll down a conveyor belt and are boxed, then transported to a warehouse where they are aged from 60 days to ten years. You can also get a behind-the-scenes glimpse of the production and packaging process; each day, the creamery processes

800,000 kilograms of milk and churns out at least 85,000 kilograms of cheese. It is both a marvel of cheese engineering and a slice of the past.

Cheddar cheese has a long history in Tillamook County. A local cheddar won the grand prize at the 1904 St Louis World’s Fair. In 1909, several creameries in the area formed the Tillamook County Creamery Association (TCCA) to act as a quality control organisation for the cheddar made throughout the county.

A cheddar recipe first developed in the 19th century is still used, and the spirit of excellence has not waned. Last year the TCCA took home two golds, two silvers, and two bronzes at the International Cheese and Dairy Awards.

France’s Tamié Abbey specialises in soft cheese made from raw cow’s milk

4

PLANCHERINE, FRANCE

Tamié Abbey

Tamié Abbey sits in serene surroundings in the Bauges mountain range in France’s Savoie department. Founded in the 12th century, it is today home to around 25 Trappist monks who run a small dairy and cheesemaking operation that produces Abbaye de Tamié, a soft cheese made from raw cow’s milk.

As of 2021, the monastery processed around 3,500 litres of milk per day, making about 420 kilograms of Abbaye de Tamié cheese, which is pressed and moulded into wheels. It’s then immersed in a brine bath for two to three hours before being moved to the abbey’s cellars, where it is turned every other day and aged for four weeks.

Not wanting to waste anything during the cheesemaking process, the monks at Tamié Abbey came up with an innovative use for their by-products. In 2003, they built an anaerobic digestion plant, and are able to use excess whey and washwater to produce bio-gas. This is used to power the abbey’s hot-water system. The success of this initiative has inspired similar systems in France, most notably the “cheesebased” power plant in nearby Albertville, which supplies enough electricity to meet the annual needs of more than 300 local homes.

Abbaye de Tamié cheese is often compared to reblochon, but is

slightly thicker. Both cheeses are made using raw milk, enhancing its terroir—or the characteristic taste and flavour imparted to the cheese by the environment in which it is made. This helps give Abbaye de Tamié its nutty, fruity, and distinctively earthy flavour.

5

BETHLEHEM, UNITED STATES Abbey of Regina Laudis

The Abbey of Regina Laudis, appropriately located in the town of Bethlehem in the northeastern state of Connecticut, is home to Benedictine nuns with a taste for life’s finer cheeses. Mother Noella, who earned the nickname the “Cheese Nun” after appearing in a 2002 documentary of the same name, spearheaded the abbey’s foray into the artisanal market.

A local farmer gave the abbey its first cow in the 1970s and the nuns began creating their specialty: the raw milk, uncooked, fungal-ripened Bethlehem Cheese, which is similar to France’s SaintNectaire cheese. They learned their technique from a third-generation French cheesemaker.

Mother Noella was even able to use Bethlehem Cheese as the basis for her graduate research, earning her a PhD in microbiology from the University of Connecticut. A Fulbright scholarship later brought her to France, where she ventured into the country’s cheese caves to

A nun holds a fungalripened cheese from the Abbey of Regina Laudis

study fungus. She used her research to determine how fungus affects the odour and taste of different cheeses as they mature.

When she first began creating cheese at the abbey, there was only one other artisanal cheesemaker in Connecticut. Though the industry has since boomed in the United States, the Abbey of Regina Laudis remains one of a small number of dairies that are licensed to produce and sell raw milk products.

The nuns still make Bethlehem

Cheese at the abbey, as well as other varieties like ricotta, mozzarella, and cheddar. Most of the cheese is consumed by residents of the abbey and guests, but it is also sometimes sold in the abbey’s gift shop alongside other homemade treats like bread, honey and jams.

6 ZEITZ, GERMANY Cheese Mite Memorial

In the tiny eastern German village of Würchwitz stands a memorial in honour of a microscopic local hero: the cheese mite. For without this mite, locals couldn’t produce their famous specialty cheese, Milbenkäse.

Milbenkäse has been produced in the SaxonyAnhalt region since the Middle Ages, but the traditional method was almost lost in the mid-1900s when the East German government outlawed the production and sale of mite-infested products. After the fall of the Soviet Union and the reunification of Germany, local science teacher Helmut Pöschel, using techniques passed down by his mother and grandmother, managed to preserve the tradition. Today, Milbenkäse is produced only in the small village of Würchwitz.

Milbenkäse is made by flavouring a soft, white, and unaged cheese

called quark with caraway, dried elderflowers, and salt. The cheese is shaped into balls, wheels, or cylinders, which are then dried and left in a wooden box containing rye flour and cheese mites (Tyrophagus casei).

This is when the magic happens. For at least three months, the cheese mites secrete enzymes over the cheese, causing it to turn yellow and then a darker reddish-brown as it ripens. Some cheesemakers let the process continue for up to one year, by which time the cheese has turned black. Well done, cheese mites.

When the cheese is ready to eat, the mites are not removed; instead they’re eaten along with the cheese. There are other cheeses, such as Mimolette from France, that use mites to create a pitted rind, but Milbenkäse is unique in using them throughout the cheesemaking process.

It’s no wonder that local cheesemakers in Würchwitz decided to honour the hard-working cheese

mites with a memorial. It’s not the prettiest of things, but it is a fitting tribute to both the mites and the cheese they help produce. n

t

Tongue in Cheek

The iconic Einstein-sticking-his-tongue-out photo was his reaction to paparazzi goading him to smile on his 72nd birthday. It achieved cult status mostly because Einstein himself ordered many prints and proceeded to send them to friends

Cheesemakers Helmet Pöschel (left) and Christian Schmelzer with their monument to the cheese mite

Lovely London My Great Escape:

Our reader Susan Drynan enjoys a trip to the capital

Irecently arranged a coach trip from our home on the south coast to London for my dad and myself, and that day in August of last year was wonderfully bright and warm.

We were taken first to Greenwich where my dad had grown up. It was so much cleaner than he remembered and, of course, there were very many changes, mostly for the better. Alongside the National Maritime Museum we stopped for a coffee in a lovely open air café with views over the river Thames.

Soon we were called together with other members of the trip to join a “city cruiser” vessel at the busy waterfront. Once we set sail, the first famous building we could see was Queen Anne’s House set at the foot of the Royal Greenwich Park. We spent the whole time sitting on the top deck admiring the many sights as we sailed sedately past.

The skyscrapers of Canary Wharf were very impressive, then came a large yacht, its three masts covered in bunting, moored outside a Royal Navy building. Next, we passed under the Millennium Bridge, before we saw the new Globe Theatre in all its black and white Tudor glory.

The mighty Tower Bridge soared above us, forming an amazing view

from the river itself, followed by the imposing walls of the Tower of London and our final destination: the London Eye.

Our prepaid tickets meant that we didn’t have to queue with the other tourists and were soon in one of the famous pods, which lifted us gently into the air. We looked out over the whole city, including Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament— we could even see Buckingham Palace in the distance.

Upon leaving the London Eye, we only had to take a short walk across the green to where our homeward-bound coach was waiting to take us back to the south coast. Our trip to London proved to be a really lovely and memorable day out—my dad especially enjoyed every minute of it. n

Tell us about your favourite holiday (send a photo too) and if we print it, we’ll pay £50. Email excerpts@ readersdigest.co.uk

SKINNARVIKSBERGET Stockholm

Stockholm’s best sunset spot? That’ll be this plateau on the hip island of Södermalm, one whose flat-rocked, tree-sprinkled rockscape has a mountain-top vibe— despite a solitary telegraph pole.

Also the city’s highest natural point, Skinnarviksberget (Skinner Bay Mountain) offers tremendous views: over Riddarfjärden (the easternmost bay of Lake Mälaren) to Kungsholmen’s multi-coloured blocks and beyond the slender, redbrick chimney of former beer-making factory Münchenbryggeriet to Gamla Stan, Stockholm’s enchanting old-town island. Directly below are Södermälm’s eastern banks, which were once a base for knackers and tanners—hence the mountain’s name. Watching all that, especially when the sky displays a pink haze, is a joyous experience.

Given all of which, the place should be heaving. But while some barbecue-stoking, wine-clinking groups always materialise, mass crowds are extremely rare. That has to do with both the relative schlep to get up here—a trudge uphill usually takes 45 minutes or so—and an abundance of other natural viewpoints, including nearby Monteliusvägen.

The closest Metro station is Zinkensdamm, but it’s arguably nicer to approach from the slightly more distant Mariatorget. Head north, crossing busy Hornsgatan, and turn left on Gamla Lundagatan. After fringing the small Norra Bysistäppan park, this narrowing lane weaves past red or yellow 18thcentury wooden houses as quietude descends. At its end, a path leads uphill to the summit.

Beneath the hill, further ahead in the same direction, is another park containing a small playground and open-air café, which serves light lunches or ice creams and, delightfully, has hammocks. n

By Richard Mellor

How To Beat RisingPricesFood

When I visit the supermarket it feels like every single item has become more expensive. Even if that’s not true across the board, once you get to the till those extra pennies here and there are really adding up.

And some staples have jumped up significantly. A recent study by the Office of National Statistics tracked prices of essentials over a year. Pasta increased by almost 50%, bread by 16% and rice by 15%.

So how do you combat the creeping cost of your groceries? Well, there are some simple tricks you can try that’ll reduce what you spend and help you get the best value from your shopping on top.

1. Plan what you need to buy

There are a few advantages of thinking ahead before you get to the supermarket. First up, meal planning is a great way to ensure you have enough food in for the whole household for every meal, preventing last-minute dashes to the more expensive corner shop for extras.

While planning, check what you already have so you can use these up and cut out food waste (if you forget,

Andy Webb is a personal finance journalist and runs the award-winning money blog, Be Clever With Your Cash

a quick trick is to take a photo of your fridge and cupboards before you go to the shops!).

Then your plan can turn into a shopping list. This is a great tool as, if you stick to the list, you’ll avoid the “special” offers and treats that tempt you to spend more than you originally planned.

And you can take this a step further by shopping online instead of in-store, removing you completely from an environment that’s engineered to make you buy extras or certain brands.

2. Change what you buy

We’ve all got our favourite brands and supermarkets, and it can be hard to ditch these for cheaper alternatives. But doing this can make a huge difference. Look for own brand items, which are often made with similar recipes but cost less.

It’s worth at least giving it a go and seeing if you really can tell the difference. It might be that you end up just swapping one or two items— but that’s still saving you some cash.

I also like to check out the “price per unit” information on the shelf. Often this will be per gram or per

litre and you’ll be able to see if you can save money by changing to a different size pack or different brand. You’d be surprised just how often the smaller bag is cheaper than the larger “value” options. Occasionally this can sometimes get a little confusing. For example, you might see bananas in a bag priced per banana versus loose ones priced by weight—that’s impossible to compare! And don’t forget to check if you

can find that multibuy offers only take off a penny or two. And there could be a cheaper alternative on the shelf that’s not part of a promotion.

Coupons are handy and can be found online and in many supermarket magazines. There are also cashback apps like Shopmium and CheckoutSmart which offer money back when you buy certain products—though only do this if you actually want to buy what’s on offer.

SPECIAL OFFERS CAN BE A HUGE HELP, BUT YOU DO HAVE TO BE CAREFUL

can pick up the same items for less elsewhere in the shop. You might find bargain spices in the world food aisle, or cheaper toiletries in the baby section.

3. Take advantage of discounts and deals

Special offers can be a huge help, but you do have to be careful. Many, such as Buy-One-Get-One-Free (BOGOF), are designed to make us buy more than we need. But if you are certain you’re going to use something then bulk buying when they’re on offer will bring savings. I tend to do this for non-perishables like toothpaste or any product that I use every week.

You’ll need to check a discount really is a discount too. Often you

You’ll also be able to get more and more special prices via loyalty schemes and apps. Tesco’s Clubcard is essential to get their lower prices, while the MyWaitrose scheme offers weekly vouchers via their app (you can also get paper alternatives if that’s what you prefer).

And I’ll always take my trolley on a drive-by of the reduced sections in case I can pick up some yellow sticker bargains. Of course, only buy what you’ll actually eat and check that food can be frozen if you don’t think you’ll consume it in time (some things have been prefrozen).

4. Prevent food waste

Finally, you’ll save a decent chunk of cash by avoiding throwing out food. There are two parts to this. On one

hand, there’s forgetting you’ve got something and it’s gone off before you can use it—so keep an eye on the dates. And the extension of this is throwing out stuff that’s past its date

DON’T CHUCK OUT THOSE TINNED TOMATOES JUST BECAUSE THEY’VE “EXPIRED”

but is still perfectly safe to eat.

The distinction here is between use-by and best-before. Use-by dates are all about safety, so you’ll see them on things like meat, fish, eggs and dairy. These dates are important, so eat or freeze items while they are in date (though you might get away with a sniff test on things like milk).

Best-before on the other hand is just a guide to the quality of the product. As long as items have been

properly stored they’ll be fine to consume after the date—they just might not be at their best. So don’t chuck out those packs of crisps, tinned tomatoes or cans of beer just because they’ve “expired.”

And remember that the freezer is your friend here. You can freeze more than you’d imagine. From leftovers from last night’s dinner and the last slices of bread or cake through to bananas (peel and chop them up first to add to smoothies), wine (put in ice cubes trays and use for cooking) and hard cheese (if you grate this before freezing it’s easy to quickly add to pasta and pizzas). n

Wall Art For All

Brighten up your house and fill empty wall space with your own modern masterpiece

Have you ever tried making your own wall art? You don’t need to be a master painter or illustrator to do so!

I strongly believe that we all have the capacity to make art. Take this wall

What to do

1. Cut out five or six large rectangles from your coloured card. Vary the sizes and the colours, so no two pieces are the same. These will be your base pieces.

2. Put your poster board flat on the floor. Lay out your base pieces of card directly onto the poster board. Space them out a little, and move each around until you’re happy. Try to overlap at least two or three.

3. Cut out some medium-sized pieces of card (a little smaller than your base pieces). As with the base pieces, these should be varying shapes and colours. Place these medium pieces over the base pieces, so they overlap slightly. Have fun experimenting with different layouts!

Mike Aspinall runs one of the UK’s most popular craft blogs, The Crafty Gentleman. His new book, Modern Paper Piecing, is out now

art piece, for instance. It’s simply a series of overlapping shapes cut out of card; it can easily be recreated in less than an hour, but it looks so striking and effective.

4. One by one, measure the sizes of the overlapping sections with a ruler. Cut out a contrasting piece of card to the same dimensions, then glue them in place (covering the overlapping section, to create the multi-tonal effect).

5. Stick down all of the base and medium-size pieces. Glue them directly onto the poster board with a glue stick, or double-sided tape. Take your time doing this—make sure that they’re all aligned neatly with the edges of the poster board.

6. Finally, fill in any gaps with smaller squares and rectangles of card. As with step 4, cover any overlapping sections with additional contrasting card.

Here are a few tips to help design your piece:

• Stick to a consistent colour scheme. I chose cool blues, greens and grey. Equally, you could try pastels, neons, warm colours or monochrome with one contrast pop colour. Whatever suits your home and your style!

• Use a good mix of colours across the piece. For instance, don’t have one side mainly dark blue, and the other light green—mix it up throughout.

• Pay attention to white space. This is as important as the colour sections! Don’t have any parts that are too bare (but equally, don’t overfill it).

• Try out a few layouts. Move things around and keep tweaking until you’re happy.

But most importantly, don’t overthink it!

Making art should be fun and experimental.

You will need

• Lightweight card in different colours

• White poster board

• Glue stick or double sided tape

• Ruler

• Pencil

• Scissors

These Shoes Were Made For Walking

Your ultimate guide to 2022’s most wearable shoes

As a Sex and the City superfan, I’ve always believed in the power of a good pair of stilettos. My feet never look better than arched atop the 120-millimetre heels of Christian Louboutin’s iconic So Kate pumps.

But, after one too many blisters and barefoot walks home after nights out in uncomfortable shoes, my attitude towards what I wear on my feet has shifted. Style is still of great importance, but far surpassing it is being able to wear a pair of shoes all day without ending up in agony.

Luckily for me—and everyone else—the fashion industry has fully embraced comfortable shoes. This

Bec Oakes is a Lancashire-based freelance journalist with particular passions for fashion and culture writing

year's hottest trends prove that style and comfort need not be mutually exclusive. Fashionable footwear has never been more wearable.

Leading the pack, clogs have clomped their way out of hiding and onto the runways of Alaïa and Gucci. While the traditional wooden style has returned in all its folkloric glory, modern takes on the shoe have proven even more popular.

Birkenstock’s Boston clogs have risen to cult status thanks to their comfort-driven design. The soft footbed and foam layer hug the foot, while the choice between narrow and regular ensures the perfect fit. They’re a versatile classic that can be worn year-round. Wear them now with straight-leg jeans and a white tank top for the ultimate casual summer look.

Meanwhile, love them or loathe them, Crocs are back. They’re aesthetically abysmal, but the fashion crowd has nevertheless adopted

them—Balenciaga, Christopher Kane and Takashi Murakami all have their own versions. The rubbery shoe is now a staple of off-duty style. While I can’t quite get on board, I admit they do look incredibly comfortable.

At the other end of the spectrum, ultra-feminine ballet pumps also made a recent comeback. Partially fuelled by the “balletcore” trend on social media—inspired by the styles, silhouettes and colours worn by ballerinas—dancewear experts, BLOCH, report a 150 per cent increase in Google searches for the style. Their popularity is due to rise even further following the much talked about ballet pump and legwarmer combos in Miu Miu’s Autumn/Winter collection.

Timeless, delicate and chic, ballet flats work with everything from jeans to skirts. Neutral tones are the most versatile for everyday wear. The Nashira pump from BLOCH’s new ballet flat range is a classic style with contrast piping and an elastic drawstring, crafted in super-soft Nappa leather for all-day comfort.

Elsewhere, the love for chunky sandals remains strong. The trend took off when Chanel launched their cult sandal in 2018. According to Lyst, Birkenstock’s Arizona sandals were the most searched shoe style for women in 2021.

Spotted on Chloé and Stella McCartney's runways, the trend has taken a sporty turn for 2022. Chunky soles combine with neoprene and velcro straps in a shoe that epitomises summer comfort. And the styling possibilities are endless. Colourful sandals pair perfectly with denim, while neutrals worn with tailored trousers look surprisingly chic. Take an 1980s-inspired approach with Teva’s Midform Universal sandals.

And no roundup of comfy shoes would be complete without trainers. An integral part of our wardrobes, when it comes to trainers in 2022, anything goes. Retro styles, like the New Balance 550s, have been a big trend over the past year, while classic trainers like Nike Air Force 1s and Converse All-Stars are consistently popular.

But by far my favourite is the “Dad trainer.” Characterised by clunky silhouettes, brawny elements and bright colour combinations, the shoe was once exclusively worn by middleaged Dads in theme parks, but has become quite the phenomenon in the sartorial space. I’ve been wearing my New Balance 530s religiously since I bought them earlier this year, most recently with sundresses and tube socks as temperatures soar.

Your footwear need not be agonising to be stylish. My scarred feet only wish I’d learned that sooner. n

Body Talk

Jenessa Williams investigates the beauty benefits of AHA body acne scrubs

What are they?

Breakouts can happen in places other than your face. As we strip off for summer, you might notice acne on your buttocks, back, shoulders and chest, or even more intimate parts. Sometimes these marks are superficial, but they can be painful, or difficult to reach or examine in a mirror. Introducing a body cleanser to your routine is a good preventative, helping to reduce the build-up of bacteria or excess sebum.

What are the benefits?

In summer, the combination of sweat and suncream can play havoc with our skin, as can pool chlorine, fake tan or body sprays. If you’re prone to below-the-neck blackheads, look for a gentle exfoliant that contains AHAs (alpha hydroxy acids), which gently exfoliate the skin without adding extra oil. Ceramides, hyaluronic acid and salicyclic acid are popular ingredients, while benzoyl peroxide is appropriate for more stubborn spots, where it works as an anti-inflammatory (although it is worth noting that benzoyl peroxide can bleach clothing). If you

experience keratosis pillaris—small bumps on the backs of your arms and legs—then glycolic and lactic acid might fit the bill, although those with sensitive skin should tread carefully.

Do they actually work?

The effectiveness of body acne cleansers is beholden to factors like skin type, genetics, age, hormones, etc. But like facial cleansers, the science does check out. For potent or cystic acne, meeting with a dermatologist might be a sensible first step. Once you find the formula for you, a once-weekly gentle exfoliation can be just the thing to keep your skin blemish-free. The skin on your body tends to be thicker than on your face, so higher concentrations of ingredients might be necessary for effective penetration. After a deep cleanse, your skin will be sensitive to the sun’s UV rays, so use SPF and take shade where possible.

Even if you don't invest in high end products, small changes can make all the difference—like changing sweaty clothes or showering more frequently. With patience and the right product, it is possible to manage body acne with your regular hygiene routine. n

Always read labels and packaging carefully prior to using new products. If in doubt, consult with a medical professional

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Liz Cottam ROAST CHICKEN

Sunday is my favourite day of the week.

Growing up, it was our family’s favourite meal. Everyone had to attend and Mum insisted on us dressing in our best outfits. These Sunday lunch memories of us all crammed around the kitchen dining table in my family’s first home take me right back there. It’s such a comforting, happy, golden feeling that

I will associate with this meal and this special day of the week forever. Come rain or hot summer shine, I always have to make Sunday lunch, and I enjoy the feeling it gives me. This recipe includes a brine step that infuses the chicken with flavour and seasoning, but also creates the juiciest chicken possible. This isn’t essential, but I’d strongly recommend giving it a go and seeing the difference it makes.

METHOD:

1. To make the brining liquid, combine 1 litre of water, the sea salt and the sugar in a saucepan and stir over a medium heat until the salt and sugar dissolve. Add the vinegar. Add another 1 litre of cold water then pour the brine into an extra-large plastic container and allow to cool.

2. Submerge the chicken breasts down into the brine, seal the container and refrigerate overnight.

3. The next day, remove the chicken from the brine. Discard the brine and pat the chicken dry with kitchen paper.

4. Preheat the oven to gas 6, 200°C, fan 180°C. Pierce the lemon all over with a skewer and put into the chicken’s cavity, along with the rosemary, thyme and one half of the garlic.

5. Put the chicken in a roasting pan, tuck in the wings and loosely truss (tie) the legs. Rub the softened butter all over the chicken and season. Put the other half of the garlic in the roasting tin.

6. Roast for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until the juices run clear when the thigh is pierced with a skewer. If the chicken is browning too much, cover the top with foil. When the chicken is cooked through, remove it from the oven and let it rest for 15 minutes.

7. To make the gravy, simmer the pan juices over a medium heat, scraping loose any caramelised bits from the bottom of the pan. Add the wine and simmer until reduced by half (about 4-5 minutes). Add the chicken stock, herbs and garlic, and continue to simmer until reduced by two-thirds (another 10-12 minutes). Gradually add the chilled butter, a cube at a time, whisking to incorporate before adding more.

8. Pass through a fine sieve into a gravy boat to serve.

9. Carve the chicken and serve with mash and roasted vegetables.

SERVES: 3-4

INGREDIENTS:

• Brined roast chicken

• 100g sea salt flakes

• 55g caster sugar

• 55ml (2fl oz) red wine vinegar

• 1.4kg (3lb) whole chicken

• 2 lemons, 1 whole for cooking, 1 cut into wedges

• 3 sprigs of rosemary

• 3 sprigs of lemon thyme

• 1 garlic bulb, halved horizontally

• 20g (3/4oz) softened butter

For the gravy

• 150ml dry white wine

• 250ml (8fl oz) hot chicken stock

• 80g (3oz) chilled butter, coarsely chopped

• 2 tbsp coarsely chopped flat-leaf parsley

• 2 tbsp coarsely chopped tarragon

• 2 tbsp coarsely chopped lemon thyme

• 2 cloves of garlic

Liz Cottam is the Chef patron and owner of HOME, CORA and The Owl in Leeds

World Kitchen

TIANJIN, CHINA: Five Flavour Cucumber

On my very first day in Tianjin—home to the Tianjin School of Cuisine—I was at the start of my journey into understanding and learning the art of Chinese cuisine. The very first dish I was introduced to and prepared myself was this—Five Flavour Cucumber. I watched a master chef prepare it before it was my turn. I watched as the seeds were removed from a

This month, chef Dave Critchley reveals one of the first Chinese dishes he learned to make: the simple yet sophisticated five flavour cucumber

Chinese cucumber and it was left in salt to draw out the moisture. Later, rice vinegar, shiitake mushrooms, chilli and ginger were added. All simple ingredients but an incredible taste sensation. This introduction to “Jin” food showed me Chinese food in a whole new light—how you can take such simple ingredients and produce something phenomenal. This has been on our menu from the day we opened.

Method:

1. Place the dried mushrooms into the warm water and leave to stand for 30 minutes (or longer) to rehydrate.

2. Cut the ends off the cucumber and slice lengthways (about half a centimetre thick).

3. Remove all the seeds and cut the cucumber into even batons, approximately 8cm long.

4. Place the cucumber in a bowl, sprinkle with the salt and leave to stand for 20 minutes to extract excess moisture. After 20 minutes, remove the cucumber, and discard the liquid and salt.

5. Cut the shiitake mushrooms into strips.

6. In a clean bowl, add the cucumber batons, the mushroom strips, ginger, chilli flakes and rice wine vinegar. Cover and place in the fridge for 30 minutes.

7. Serve evenly on four side plates with a splash of liquid from the bowl.

8. Serve with a cold beer and a bowl of liu li walnuts (recipe below).

Liu li walnuts (caramel walnuts)

Method:

1. Place the water, sugar and honey in a saucepan, and gently bring to the boil. Stir until the sugar has dissolved.

2. Continue stirring until the sugar begins to thicken and turn caramel in colour.

3. Remove pan from the heat and add the walnuts, coating each one in the syrup.

4. Pour the coated walnuts onto a greased baking tray or plate, ensuring that the walnuts do not stick together.

5. Allow to cool before eating.

Serves: 4

Cooking time: 3-4 hours

Ingredients:

• 1 large cucumber

• 3g salt

• 15g white sugar

• 5g shiitake mushrooms, dehydrated

• 100ml hot water

• 30ml Shaoxing rice wine vinegar

• 10g ginger, cut into thin strips

• 2g dried chilli flakes

Liu li walnuts

Ingredients:

• 200g walnuts, shelled and peeled

• 500g water

• 150g sugar

• 30g honey

• Splash of vegetable oil to grease tray or plate

Recipe from Cherry Blossom by Dave Critchley, executive chef at Lu Ban Restaurant, Liverpool

Georgii Uvs manipulates paints and pigments on the floor to form abstract swathes of vibrant colour

State Of The Art:

Georgii Uvs

Abstract painter

Georgii Uvs’ new collection in Venice presents the Mesozoic era as a path to optimism

How would you describe your art?

My art and artistic act are a kind of philosophical experience. Since no one has yet been able to describe it in words, these answers are above human language.

Through a richer palette, using visual art, my work reveals the secrets of being and existence.

Since this experience is unique and unrepeatable, no artist’s work is repeated and there are no copies. It is impossible even for myself as an artist to recreate an artwork.

How have the sciences and natural history influenced your work in the past? Transcendent reality is inaccessible to experiential knowledge as it goes beyond the limits of sensual experience. Having received a degree in Geology, I studied the structure of the Earth, its origin and development, yet I did not find the answers I was seeking in this subject.

I then decided to devote my life to metaphysics—the questions and answers that have plagued all humanity since the beginning of Antiquity—and only then was I able to formulate through the language of fine art, through abstraction.

What led you to develop your “live” painting technique, where you pour paints and pigments onto canvas on the floor? I feel that paints and colours know better than us what to

do. I just lead and help them to tell the new story. I obey the colours, existing only to serve them and enhance their strength.

Why did you choose to focus on the Mesozoic era as a representation of optimism? “Mesozoic” is an ideal time, it is a dream. It was an era when water and the environment were very pure. It is the dream of humanity now, something that we had before.

The Mesozoic is an era of tectonic, climatic and evolutionary activity. At this time, the formation of the main contours of modern continents and mountain building on the periphery of the oceans take place.

By the end of the Mesozoic era, the main part of the diversity of life approached its modern state. We just need to imagine that we are in that era and we have chance to start over, knowing all the mistakes from the previous time. n

As told to Becca Inglis

You can read an extended cut of this interview at readersdigest.co.uk/culture/ art-theatre/state-of-the-art-georgii-uvs

A BIRD FLEW IN H

Remember the restless days of March 2020, when we were all nervously following every government announcement and trying to make sense of the surreal events unfolding around the world? Though COVID is still very much around, the dizzying uncertainty, fear of the unknown and social isolation that accompanied those early lockdown days seem like the nightmarish flashbacks to some distant fever dream.

In A Bird Flew In, director Kirsty Bell returns to re-examine our collective trauma via seven interlinked narratives—each painful, enlightening, or hopeful in its own unique way. The characters of these brief vignettes (played by a scintillating ensemble cast including Derek Jacobi and Sadie Frost) are busy working together on a feature film when the UK lockdown

is announced. Actors, directors, writers, and production crew are sent home to deal with the realities of their lives with no script or film set to turn to. Relationships break down, desperation ensues, some people face their own mortality while others find unexpected connections they had longed for so much.

Despite the rather scarring subject matter, the film is a highly stylish and elegant affair. It’s black and white, unafraid to experiment with disorienting camera angles and unusual takes, filled with voiceovers and poetry. Though beautiful in its bleakness, A Bird Flew In can be a bit rough around the edges, losing steam with some storylines, while overplaying others. Luckily, the captivating cast never lets us linger on this fact for too long.

By Eva Mackevic

Also Out This Month…

GIRLS CAN’T SURF SHE WILL

This rowdy, rock ‘n’ roll documentary shines a light on the thankless task of being a woman in professional surfing in the 1980s and—unsurprisingly—is shockingly relevant today. A delightful blend of Eighties’ hits, peroxide hair and spandex, Girls Can’t Surf features interviews with a group of boisterous, larger-than-life former surfer girls reminiscing about their time trying to chase the waves in a world dominated by radical male egos. From not being taken seriously as pro surfers (the spectators would run out to get lunch when it was the women’s turn to compete) to the constant objectification (their one-piece bathing suits were cut so high they had to pull their straps up while manoeuvring on the waves to make sure nothing “fell out”), these renegade women had to fight hard to carve out their own spot in the sport.

Produced by horror maestro Dario Argento and lauded by Oscar winner Alfonso Cuarón, comes this atmospheric psychological horror from debut director Charlotte Colbert. Set in the verdant Scottish Highlands, the film follows an ageing actress, Veronica, who retreats to the countryside with her young nurse Desi to recover from surgery. Rather than finding peace, however, she reckons with mysterious ancient forces emanating from the ground where witches were once burned.

Spine-chilling, dream-like and visually breathtaking, She Will stars the electrifying Alice Krige as Veronica, whose intimidating mien can crack the screen, as well as a star studded supporting cast that includes Malcolm McDowell and Rupert Everett. Expect timely social commentary, snails, red lipstick and lots and lots of peat.

Rudely crashing the Platinum Jubilee, the Sex Pistols miniseries Pistol (Disney+) marks Danny Boyle’s second retelling of the Frankenstein story. It has a hilarious mad scientist in Thomas Brodie-Sangster’s Malcolm McLaren, haphazardly stitching four disparate personalities together, before retreating in alarm as this monstrous band wreaks havoc on society. “We’ve made a terrible mistake,” gasps McLaren’s girlfriend Vivienne Westwood (Talulah Riley), but by then it’s too late. Though it doesn’t quite recapture the danger of either its subject or its inspiration, Boyle’s six-parter— ripped from Steve Jones’s memoir— has a great deal of energy, wit and cheek in its favour. Most crucially, it gets why this thrashed-out, occasionally downright ugly music was so vital: as the kick in the pants that a lazy, complacent country needed. Any resemblance to Britain of 2022 is wholly intentional.

In the early 1990s, arts supplements everywhere proclaimed comedy the new rock ‘n’ roll. Rockiest of all were the Canadian sketch quintet known collectively as the Kids in the Hall, whose HBO series became cult post-pub viewing and remains (I whisper this) more consistent than Monty Python, even as its insane schedule—21 shows a year for five years—sunk friendships and marriages. That process is movingly detailed in the new two-part doc, Kids in the Hall: Comedy Punks (Prime Video), as is the reconciliation process that led to the band’s reunion. Though the all-new The Kids in the Hall (also Prime) betrays flickers of creative insecurity—such as cameos from celebrity fans—its sketches are stronger than ever, anchored by now-greying writer-performers with experience in taking funny ideas for long walks round the houses. There’s life in these old punks yet.

by Mike McCahill Retro Pick:

KidsintheHallS1-5 (PrimeVideo)

The Kids’ original creations, from the memorably odd Head Crusher to swishing swinger Buddy Cole, preserved in their fresh-faced pomp.

Album Of The Month: LifetimeAchievement

by Loudon Wainwright III

At age 75, with 30 albums under his belt, this new album may well feel like a “lifetime achievement” to folk icon Loudon Wainwright III, though there’s nothing lofty about it. Instead, it’s a contemplative, self-deprecating and surprisingly positive musing on his colourful life.

AFamilyAffair

A university dropout who started covering Woody Gunthrie and Bob Dylan in the late 1960s, (“I was 21 and very serious, and I thought I’d be dead in four years”), Wainwright released his debut album in 1970, becoming a fixture of the New York folk circuit. Now in his seventies, he’s a man who takes one day at a time and tries to have some fun with each and every one, as reflected in the easy-going, laidback vibe of Lifetime Achievement. Wainwright’s witty lyrics and jaunty, youthful delivery take centre stage: “Fam Vac” is a playful ode to getting away from your family that quotes Tolstoy and Sartre (“Hell is other people”), while “Hell” is a rather cheery vision of the netherworld where Hitler and Stalin play ball and one feels “always welcome”.

Loudon Wainwright III met and married another young folk singer, Kate McGarrigle in the 1960s. They had two children together, Rufus and Martha, who went on to become accomplished musicians in their own right. The talented clan soon became known for its deep dysfunction as much as its musical prowess, with members tearing each other down in song.

Most tracks are stripped down to just Wainwright and a guitar, while others are seasoned with horns, strings, lap steel and electric guitar work, like the bluesy “Town and Country” which would comfortably sit on Stones’s Beggars Banquet. Perfect for fans of Simon and Garfunkel, Neil Young, rambunctious harmonica and a sprinkling of expletives.

By Eva Mackevic

On Attempted Mustache, Loudon sang his son a lullaby containing the memorable lyrics: “Shut your mouth and button your lip/ You’re a late night faucet that’s got a drip.” The Wainwright children didn’t exactly hold back in their response: Martha with her subtly titled “Bloody Mother F*****g Asshole”, and Rufus with his “Dinner at Eight”. Loudon dedicated his 2017 memoir LinesNotes “To the family and all we put us through.”

August Fiction

A moving story about four generations of women adds one more gem to Ireland’s growing canon

TheQueenofDirtIsland

by Donal Ryan (Doubleday, £14.99)

There’s been much talk in book circles recently about the fact that many of the best authors around have one striking thing in common: they’re Irish. Of course, the country has long had a strong literary tradition. Yet, if anything, Irish writing may now be enjoying its most golden age so far—with such established names as Roddy Doyle, Marian Keyes, Edna O’Brien and Colm Tóibín being joined by a terrific new generation that certainly includes Donal Ryan, along with, most famously, Sally Rooney.

These two, though, could scarcely be more different. While Rooney specialises in smart young

James Walton is a book reviewer and broadcaster, and has written and presented 17 series of the BBC

Radio 4 literary quiz

The Write Stuff

metropolitan types, Ryan prefers rural backwaters where plain old gossip is a lot more common than political discussion. His tone is very different too. Rather than casting a cool eye over his characters, he treats them with what is hard not to describe, simply, as love.

All this definitely applies to his new novel about four generations of women living in the Tipperary countryside— where on page one, Eileen gives birth to Saoirse, whose father is killed in a car crash three days later, leaving Eileen and her mother-in-law Mary to bring up the girl together. They also help when Saoirse’s own daughter comes along 17 years afterwards.

If he wasn’t such a good writer, Ryan’s reverence for these women could

perhaps have curdled into mawkishness. Yet, although he’s not afraid to throw in the occasional dollop of unashamed sentimentality (always well-earned, fortunately—and often properly tear-jerking), the book as a whole is not remotely soppy.

For one thing, Eileen is fabulously foul-mouthed, with Mary not far behind. For another, the novel never romanticises rural Ireland. Beneath its quiet surface—a succession of exquisitely written two-page chapters— plenty of dark stuff happens: from suicide to attempted murder, sexual assault to gun-running. And although the women’s love for each other is abiding, that doesn’t stop them from having some pretty hair-raising fights.

For all its warm-heartedness, then, this is ultimately quite a sly book. Time and again, we’re gently lulled along by the beauty of Ryan’s prose, only to receive another sucker punch in the solar plexus. n

Name the character

Can you guess the fictional character from these clues (and, of course, the fewer you need the better)?

1. He shares a surname with a priest detective created by G K Chesterton.

2. His first appeared in a book 100 years ago, remaining 11 years old until 1970.

3. His nemesis is Violet Elizabeth Bott.

Answer on p124

Paperbacks

TheFleetStreetGirls

by Julie Welch (Trapeze, £9.99).

The veteran football writer looks back with affection and exasperation on her and other women’s experiences in the macho world of 1970s journalism.

ThePlantHunter

by T L Mogford (Welbeck, £8.99).

Cracking adventure yarn about a London plant-seller getting caught up in the Victorian mania to track down exotic flora.

SpareParts

by Paul Craddock (Penguin, £10.99).

Fascinating history of transplant surgery, which dates back much further than you might think.

Bristling with great stories—not all for the squeamish.

TheLockIn

by Phoebe Luckhurst (Penguin, £7.99). Funny, charming rom-com about old friends and new loves. A perfect summer read.

OntheCusp;Daysof’62

by David Kynaston

(Bloomsbury, £9.99). The first Bond film and first Beatles single were released on the same day in October 1962. Kynaston absorbingly captures a country on the brink of social change.

RECOMMENDED READ:

The Kids Are Alright

Learn what’s changed–and what hasn’t—on the frontline of primary education

Sit up straight please, fingers on lips—because this month’s Recommended Read is all about the strange world of primary schools. The brothers who wrote it are both primary school teachers themselves. They also host a podcast where they invite fellow practitioners to share their stories—especially the wild and funny ones. Now, in the follow-up to their well-titled debut, Put a Wet Paper

Towel on It, they serve up their thoughts and findings with suitably infectious enthusiasm.

In a series of themed chapters we learn, for example, about the bizarre mishaps listed

in school accident books (“Pulled a muscle in his leg trying to sniff his toes” and even, “Poked in the eye with the accident book”); the peculiar presents teachers receive from parents (a DVD of the child’s birth, anyone?); and the prevalence of bodily functions in the classroom (I’ll spare you any more details on that one—although the authors certainly don’t).

The book does have its serious moments. In one chapter, there’s a proud account of primary education during lockdown. In another, the Parkinsons lament that teachers are less trusted than they used to be, with parents far more likely to angrily defend their children, however naughty. Not that naughtiness is a concept greatly in favour anymore, as teachers

talk instead of “making the wrong choices” (the authors have a lot of fun with school jargon too).

In general, though, the book wisely sticks to the weird and wonderful, aka everyday primary school life. And while much has clearly changed since most of us last got some carpet time, there is also plenty of cheering proof that much has not. Here, for instance, is some reassurance from Lee…

It’s amazing how so much of the stuff you did when you were at school still happens now. Papiermâché, junk-modelling, the art of ageing a piece of paper by smearing a used tea bag all over the surface and, when it’s dry, making a treasure map. Putting crisp packets into the oven so they shrink into badges isn’t as popular as it was—it died out when conkers were no longer safe to play with. God, I miss conkers. There is a conker tree near our house and I regularly see kids walk past it, ignoring some grade-A, guaranteed destroyers just lying there. I still

remember the nights I’d spend soaking them in vinegar and leaving them in the freezer (wrapped in a tea towel) in the hope I could take down the three-er that dominated the playground.

Speaking of tea towels, those humble drying rags are still used in every nativity as headwear for Joseph and the shepherds. Of course, some enthusiastic parents prefer to grab a fairly decent nativity costume from B&M that gets worn for about three performances before being bundled into the back of their wardrobe, never to be seen again. If you’re going for the tea towel option, any will suffice, even those that have a drawing of every child in the class or school on them. That’s because this is still the go-to PTA fundraising idea. If you ever wanted the inside scoop of how these masterpieces work, it involves every child being given a small piece of white paper and asked to draw a self-portrait. That’s it.

ThisIsYourOwn TimeYou’re Wasting by Lee Parkinson and Adam Parkinson is published by HarperCollins at £16.99

If the children involved are from lower down the school, you can bet your bottom dollar that one of them will have chickenpox just before the deadline, so the grown-ups will select another child to draw their friend. The child will have no recollection either way and their grandparents will still fork out for the finished tea towel.

What always makes me laugh with any class or school portrait tea towel is that 99 per cent of the portraits are—how can I put this kindly?—a bit

crap. Let’s be fair, none of these kids would get a job as a police sketch artist. Once the tea towel has been purchased, it will probably be used once, then washed and, to avoid it becoming permanently stained, popped away into a drawer for all eternity as just another example of the amount of stuff that comes home from the school to fill up parents’ storage spaces.

This might sound harsh, but I guarantee any parents reading this know exactly what I am talking about. On behalf of the whole teaching profession, I can only apologise for the amount of rubbish we have cluttered your house with. Unless the particular artwork is going on display in the school corridor, the paintings, charcoal, watercolours, papiermâché, clay and, worst of all, pastashell art has one destination and that is your home. It is like a never-ending conveyor belt of well… trash.

Lee And Adam Parkinson’s Best Books About School

AWayneinaManger by Gervase

Phinn. Tales from the Dales by the ex-teacher and school inspector— and why Christmas nativity plays are unintentionally hilarious.

Wonder by R J Palacio. Recognising challenges and celebrating differences, Palacio’s novel captures beautifully why it’s hard to “blend in when you were born to stand out” at school.

Let That Be a Lesson by Ryan

Wilson. Secondary-school musings from the chalkface, and an ode to the professionals that shape the minds of the next generation.

Answer to Name the Character:

William Brown, aka Just William, in 38 books by Richmal Crompton. Violet Elizabeth’s regular threat to “Thcream and thcream till I’m thick” is now in The Oxford Book of Quotations. Chesterton’s detective is Father Brown.

Could Do Better! by Phil Beadle. Inspirational and no-nonsense star of Channel 4’s The Unteachables explores how parents and educators can adapt their thinking to help children learn.

Please Mrs Butler by Allan Ahlberg. Poetry collection that’s entertaining to read as a child but even funnier when you read it again as an adult. The former primary school teacher’s take on life in the classroom is timeless in its observations.

Books

THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

Author Victoria Hislop is best known for her muchloved 2005 novel, The Island. Her latest book, Maria’s Island, illustrated by Gill Smith, adapts it for children, and is available now (£6.99, Walker Books)

I Am David by Anne Holm

This was read to me at school. It’s an incredibly powerful story of a child who escapes a concentration camp and makes his way across Europe alone to find his home. Every experience he has is new and strange, from using soap to eating an orange. It’s intensely moving, and when I re-read it to my own children 30 years on, I cried all over again. It made me realise that stories for children can be profound and sad and thought-provoking, which spurred me to write my own, Maria’sIsland,an adaptation of my first novel, The Island. I knew it was OK to make children cry.

Wuthering Heights

by Emily Brontë

This was the first truly “adult” novel I ever read. I was 13 years old and it was revelatory. Apart from Iam David, I had never been drawn into any story at that point. So suddenly reading a fantastic work of literature like WutheringHeightswas transformative. It switched me on to reading! Many things about Brontë ’s novel have been a big influence on me in my own writing, not least the use of “place” as character. The two houses in the book, Wuthering Heights and Thrushcross Grange, are as influential to the plot as any of the people. And I always have this in mind in my own writing.

Oxford Greek-English and English-Greek Dictionary

This is the most well-thumbed book on my shelf, probably the only book that I use every day!

I have been learning modern Greek for ten years and there’s something incredibly exciting about using a printed dictionary (rather than an online one) because you can’t help letting your eye stray to the words before and after. In that way I’ve extended my vocabulary exponentially. I have found learning a new language exciting and rewarding in every way and it’s thrilling to be able to look at a page full of letters that were once alien, and to know what they mean. For me it is one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done.

Shrinking Feeling:

James O'Malley unpacks the clever computing trick that makes a Netflix binge possible

If you have a Smart TV, you’ll know that when you switch on in the evening, it’s easy to feel paralysed by the sheer range of viewing options. Because of the explosion of streaming apps and services, there is an almost infinite number of viewing choices available.

But have you ever wondered how it is that we can stream pretty much anything to our homes in high definition in an instant? The secret to this technological miracle is one of the most important tricks in computing: compression.

Crunching data

Compression has been a key part of computing since the very beginning. The idea is simple: what if you could shrink a piece of digital information to be the absolute smallest it needs to be? The smaller a file is, the more you can fit on a computer, and the faster it can be transferred over the internet.

Imagine you have a row of 100 red pixels in a photograph. One way to store that information would be to list “red” 100 times, but this would take

up a lot of space! A much better way would be to simply record “red x100”, and have the computer know that if it sees the “x100” instruction, to repeat it 100 times. This, in essence, is how files are compressed.

In practice, it gets a lot more complicated to really crunch files down to their smallest possible size, as modern computers use highly sophisticated algorithms based on complex mathematics to spot patterns in files.

The difference in file size can be enormous. To test this, I saved a photo of my cat, Hashtag, in two different formats. The uncompressed image (saved as a BMP file) was 36.6 megabytes, while saving it as a PNG file, which uses some clever compression algorithms, reduces it down to just 10.8 megabytes. That’s three times less storage space, and a three times faster download if I post it on the internet.

Getting smaller

There is, however, a way to make our files even smaller. It’s essentially the

digital equivalent of the Marie Kondo Method: throwing away what we don’t really need.

This is another type of compression known as “lossy” compression, and is partially why streaming services don’t fall over, even though millions of people are logging on to watch at the same time.

Take a video, for example. Usually, video files are very large, because they have to contain lots of information in order to digitally replicate the pictures and sounds. But it’s easy to save space by stripping away unnecessary details, like the quiet parts of the soundtrack that are barely perceptible if you’re not an audiophile wearing expensive headphones.

The picture can be cut down too— algorithms can subtly replace the sky in the background to use fewer colours, or reuse data from other frames in the video. Again, most of us won’t notice. Unless you’re obsessive about detail and watching your show on a massive TV, it’s probably more useful for you to have the video stream reliably, and be able to download the file quickly, than it is to be absolutely pixel perfect.

JPEG photos work on those same lossy principles too. If I save my photo of Hashtag as a JPEG, it

shrinks even further to just 1.3 megabytes. That means that if the photo is sent as a JPEG, it will arrive 28 times faster than the uncompressed version—and I’ll be able to store around 28 times as many photos on my computer. And the crazy part? Looking at it side by side with the original photo, although the JPEG is significantly less detailed than the original, I can’t really tell the difference between the two at all.

Bigger isn’t always better

So, why not just compress everything down to be absolutely tiny? It isn’t always the answer. Sometimes you’ll need a more powerful computer to decompress a file, ie, to perform the complex maths in reverse. And other times you’ll want to keep the originals at their maximum possible quality—especially if they are your own personal photos and videos— whereas lossy formats often reduce picture quality.

But for everything else, compression is a brilliant way to do more with less, whether you’re watching Netflix, streaming Spotify, or even sharing photos of your cat online. n

Using all of the letters listed below only once, can you find the names of three European countries?

Couldn’t Make It Up

About ten years ago we had a summerhouse built in the garden. It was going to be our little "oasis," a haven from the stresses of everyday life. Even with the best laid plans, there’s something we hadn’t thought about though—our son in his teens who soon made the summerhouse into his own party palace.

So, the scene is set—15 teenagers enjoying a drink and a laugh together, gets to half 11 and it’s, “Dad, can a few of the lads stay over, please?” They start sorting out cushions, sleeping bags, sick buckets, and would I mind leaving the back door open so they can use the loo through the night?

Sue and I disappear to bed, only to be woken at 1am by Ollie. “I’m just getting more blankets. So-and-so’s dad can’t pick him up, so they’re staying over as well.” Fifteen minutes later and he’s back again. “Last time, I promise. I need more pillows.”

At last, peace and quiet, or so I think. Just starting to dream, boys

both grown up, house to ourselves, no more Bank of Mam and Dad, no more oven loads of chicken nuggets, when he’s back again. It’s now 3:30am.

“Dad, Dad…”

“What’s the matter now?” I ask, still half asleep.

“There’s two people sleeping downstairs on the settee.”

OK, they’ve run out of room in the summerhouse and spilled over into the living room. Good of him to let me know, I suppose. “No problem,” I say. “Now let me sleep.”

“No, you don’t understand,” he says. “There’s two people asleep on the settee downstairs, and I don’t know who they are…”

VINCE TOWNS, Durham

My son's school asked everyone to wear red, white and blue by way of celebrating the Platinum Jubilee.

"And do you know what the Platinum Jubilee is?" I asked him.

"Yes, the Queen is the first person to sit on the throne for 70 years."

My son paused for a moment and then added, "But that must really hurt, mustn't it!".

JENNIE GARDNER, Bath

I live in an area with beautiful views, and lots of people picnic here. Unfortunately, some also leave their rubbish behind.

I recently saw a family leave a fried chicken box on the grass and get into the car—but their dog had other

cartoon by Guto Dias

"STAYCATION AGAIN"

ideas. He escaped, ran back to the box and carried it into the car. The owner threw it out again, and the dog jumped out and reclaimed it. They threw it out yet again, and the dog ran after it, prompting the owner to shout to his child, “Hide it in the bin!”.

KATE MORRIS, Kent

I was travelling on a plane across India in the monsoon season when the pilot warned us of heavy turbulence ahead. The plane shook and bumped up and down as we went through the storm. After five very long minutes when nobody spoke a word, it was suddenly all over and calm again.

I sank back in my seat breathing a huge sigh of relief, when a small voice from the back of the plane piped up, "Daddy, tell him to do it again."

Andrew Berry, Lincoln

Equity release is growing in popularity, as flexible product options increase. The average equity release customer unlocked the equivalent of seven years of retirement income last year, so it could be the perfect time to consider if you too could benefit from a cash boost from your home.*

With a Lifetime Mortgage, the UK’s most popular equity release product, you can borrow a tax-free cash lump sum, without selling your home, and you don’t have to make any repayments during your lifetime unless you choose to do so.

To be eligible for a Lifetime Mortgage, you must:

• Be over the age of 55

• Own or want to own a home in the UK worth at least £70,000

• Wish to release at least £10,000

WHAT COULD YOU ACHIEVE?

It’s your home, so what you do with the cash you release from it is up to you, whether that is home improvements, gifting an early inheritance, or even funding the trip of a lifetime.

Bear in mind that your property does not have to be mortgage-free, but if there is a remaining mortgage you must be able to clear it upon completion of releasing equity. The funds you release, or other savings you may have, can be used towards this.

OTHER THINGS TO CONSIDER

There are no affordability checks involved in the process, but the more your property is worth and the older you are, the higher the maximum amount you could release will be.

If you’d like to find out more and obtain an estimate of how much you could release, call our Devon-based Information Team today. They can answer any initial questions you may have and, when you are ready, book you in for a no-obligation consultation with a fully qualified adviser.

Speaking with an adviser will help you explore the plans available and understand that releasing equity will reduce the value of your estate and could affect your entitlement to means-tested benefits.

You’ll never be pushed to proceed and if equity release isn’t right for you, you can count on your adviser to tell you.

Reader’s Digest Equity Release is a trading style of Responsible Life Limited. Only if your case completes will Responsible Life Limited charge an advice fee, currently not exceeding £1,690.

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S u b s c r i b e o n l i n e a t

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Word Power

The world is full of art lovers, but mastering the lingo will prove you’re no poseur. Be the toast of the next vernissage by dropping a few of these cultivated terms

BY LINDA BESNER

1. impasto

A: darkened pencil lines. B: passionate scene. C: thick, textured paint.

2. stippling

A: scattering water droplets on a surface.

B: shading an area with dots. C: paintbrush tip.

3. viscosity

A: measurement of a work’s popularity. B: synthetic resin. C: liquid’s resistance to flow.

4. distemper

A: chalky paint bound with animal glue. B: melancholy portrait.

C: black patch on a canvas, resulting from mould.

5. objet trouvé—

A: object with holes. B: recovered artefact.

C: ordinary object displayed as art.

6. ersatz

A: carved footstool. B: substitute or imitation. C: redcoloured gemstone.

7. écorché

A: untrained artist. B: animal or human figure without skin. C: school of painting characterised by the use of red.

8. marbling

A: sculpting marble. B: covering with marble floor tiles. C: marking with streaks.

9. emboss—A: add a glossy overlay. B: add a gold border. C: make raised patterns.

10. frottage

A: rubbing impression

of textured surface onto paper. B: adhering crumpled leaves to a canvas. C: cleaning paintbrushes with a rag.

11. maquette

A: platform where a model sits. B: small model of a full-scale work. C: female model.

12. triptych—A: three paintings or panels that make a set. B: mythical beast seen in medieval manuscripts. C: easel with three legs.

13. petroglyphs

A: bubbles in oil paint. B: Russianstyle decorative eggs. C: rock carvings.

14. prunt—A: globule of glass. B: mauve shade. C: small portrait for a locket.

Answers

1. impasto —[C] thick, textured paint; Van Gogh created a rich, tactile effect with impasto .

2. stippling —[B] shading an area with dots; Ayako used stippling to suggest shadows under her model’s eyes.

3. viscosity —[C] liquid’s resistance to flow; Adding linseed oil to runny paint will raise its viscosity .

4. distemper —[A] chalky paint bound with animal glue; Distemper has been used to decorate walls since ancient Egyptian times.

5. objet trouvé —[C] ordinary object displayed as art; Marcel Duchamp turned a urinal into an iconic objet trouvé .

6. ersatz —[B] substitute or imitation; The art detective quickly recognised the ersatz Picasso.

7. écorché —[B] animal or human figure without skin; Leonardo da Vinci drew human and animal écorchés to study musculature.

8. marbling —[C] marking with streaks; Venetian artisans often use marbling on paper to make it more colourful.

9. emboss —[C] make raised patterns; The bank manager carries embossed business cards.

10. frottage —[A] rubbing an impression of a textured surface onto paper; Max Ernst developed frottage to add unexpected patterns to his collages.

11. maquette —[B] small model of a full-scale work; The architecture firm displayed a maquette of their building design.

12. triptych —[A] three paintings or panels that make a set; The church’s altar displayed a triptych bearing scenes from the life of Christ.

13. petroglyphs —[C] rock carvings; Algonquin petroglyphs near Peterborough, Ont., date back to about AD 900.

14. prunt —[A] globule of glass; The drinking glass was decorated with prunts in the shape of raspberries.

VOCABULARY RATINGS

7–10: fair

11–12: good

13–15: excellent

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BRAIN TEASERS

Squared Off

MediuM How can you make a single cut through this shape— not necessarily a straight cut, but along the edges of the squares—so that the pieces can be reassembled into a 5 x 5 square?

Note: You won’t need to flip the pieces over.

Card Logic

easy Pavel has seven index cards and writes a number from 1 to 9 on each. The average of all seven of his numbers is 5. The only number that Pavel writes on more than one card is 9. When Pavel arranges his cards in increasing order by number, the middle card has a 4 on it. What numbers are on the seven cards?

One Too Many Cooks

easy You’re about to share a meal with five of your friends. Each one brought a different dish. The problem? Alexander is a terrible cook, so you don’t want to sample what he made. Based on the following clues, can you figure out who made what—and which item to leave off your own plate?

Friends

AIDEN CEDRIC JILL BARB ALEXANDER dishes

MASHED POTATOES

CORNBREAD

MACARONI AND CHEESE

GRAVY GREEN BEANS WITH ONIONS

Clues

✦ Aiden did not make a dish with a vegetable in its name.

✦ Cedric made a dish with only one word in its name.

✦ Jill made the macaroni and cheese.

✦ Barb did not make the green beans with onions.

Expand and Conquer

difficult Each of these sequences follows the same rule, and each one continues until it resolves to a number under 10, at which point it naturally comes to a stop. How should the sequence starting with 87 continue?

ACROSS

DOWN

SUDOKU BRAINTEASERS ANSWERS

Squared Off

By Jeff Widderich

Card Logic

1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 9, 9

One Too Many Cooks

Aiden made the gravy. Cedric made the cornbread. Jill made the macaroni and cheese. Barb made the mashed potatoes. Alexander made the green beans with onions, so that is the dish you’ll want to avoid.

Expand and Conquer

87, 56, 30, 0. Multiply the digits in a number to get the next number.

To Solve This Puzzle

Put a number from 1 to 9 in each empty square so that: every horizontal row and vertical column contains all nine numbers (1-9) without repeating any of them; each of the outlined 3 x 3 boxes has all nine numbers, none repeated.

Laugh!

WIN £30 for every reader’s joke we publish!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

Who’s in favour of bringing back the use of Roman numerals? I for one.

Seen on Twitter

Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll be buried in student loan debt and can’t get a job with his fishing degree.

Comedian GEEKY STEVEN

Just got into Harvard! They left the first-floor window unlocked, so I’m just walking around in here.

Seen on Twitter

Pets are a great way to teach children about death. For instance, I had a snake that killed four of my friends.

Comedian PHIL PAGETT

I can’t help but feel that Hannibal Lecter becoming a cannibal was a self-fulfilling prophecy. His brother Hegetarian turned out just fine!

Comedian SANJEEV KOHIL

It just cost me £1 to put air in my tyres. It used to be 20p. I suppose that’s inflation for you.

Seen on Twitter

I just fell through the roof of a French bakery. I’m in a lot of pain right now.

Comedian GARY DELANEY

People say I don’t know how to use suncream correctly. Alright, no need to rub it in.

Seen on Twitter

I’m thinking about getting into mind reading. ANY THOUGHTS?

Submitted via email

I’m always wondering how Yoda and Bruce Forsyth would have greeted one another…

ALICE WADE, Bristol

My pet budgie broke his legs, so I made a splint for him out of matches. The first time he used it, you should have seen his little face light up!

Seen on Twitter

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to think of reasonablesounding ways to blame other people for things I could totally change but consistently don’t.

Seen on Reddit

I’ve just lost my wife’s audiobook. Now I’ll never hear the end of it.

Comedian STEVEN SKINNER

THESE CUTE PHOTOS SHOW THAT DUCKS MAKE SURPRISINGLY ADORABLE PETS via boredpanda.com Quackers Pets

In Europe, the Wizard of Oz is known as the Wizard of 28g. Seen on Twitter

You know that you’re getting old when, instead of mentally undressing somebody, you’d prefer to mentally undress yourself, mentally put on pyjamas, and mentally get into bed.

Comedian PAUL BASSETT

The Roman Emperor’s wife hates playing hide and seek because wherever she goes Julius Caesar.

Comedian ADELE CLIFF

Marvin Gaye used to keep a sheep in my vineyard. He’d herd it through the grapevine.

Seen on Twitter

I think the Star Wars character Chewbacca is actually French, because he understands English but he refuses to speak it.

Comedian SAMEER KATZ

Get Rich Quick Schemes

Twitter users’ ideas they’re sure will bring the big bucks

@SandiW77: A company that makes bouncing airplanes called Boeing!

@WalkerLovesPets: Archibald. It’s like Alexa, but a much less common name, so she won’t think you’re talking to her every time you talk to your friend Alexa.

@MarleyShowler: I’d invent an app that beeps in your pocket when you get within a few metres of someone you don’t want to bump into, so you have time to turn around and find another route.

Comedian STEPHEN K AMOS

Just because you do a bad job once, it doesn’t make you a bad person. My uncle recently beheaded a woman—not a bad person, bad magician.

I live in a sort of creative community up a hill in Bristol. It’s not a “gated community”, but it is quite a steep hill.”

@JohnEddieMusic: A combination coffee shop/ law firm that specialises in divorces. It’d be called Grounds for Divorce.

Comedian STUART GOLDSMITH

CROSSWORD ANSWERS

Across: 8 Romanian, 9 Unduly, 10 I B M, 11 Pot roast, 12 Vane, 16 Rabbles, 19 Crew cut, 20 Remover, 22 Predawn, 23 In a heap, 24 Optimal, 28 Soda, 32 Squashed, 34 Oak, 35 Vendor, 36 Eugenics

Down: 1 Polo, 2 Zagreb, 3 Pilate, 4 Unity, 5 Bump, 6 H-D TV, 7 Plan, 11 Portraits, 13 Acclaim, 14 Entangled, 15 Behest, 17 Bombard, 18 Levees, 19 Cup, 21 Rep, 25 Plunge, 26 Insane, 27 Askew, 29 Ones, 30 Aide, 31 Sore, 33 Each

Beat the Cartoonist!

Think of a witty caption for this cartoon—the three best suggestions, along with the cartoonist’s original, will be posted on our website in mid-August.

If your entry gets the most votes, you’ll win £50.

Submit to captions@readersdigest.co.uk by August 7. We’ll announce the winner in our September issue.

JUNE WINNER

Our cartoonist’s caption, “I wasn’t that fussed about the monarchy until I realised how long the Jubilee weekend is” was topped by our witty reader Vince Spiteri this month, who won the vote with his caption, “No, sorry, you’re too late. The Spice Girls auditions were yesterday.”

Congratulations Vince!

cartoons by Royston Robertson

Quirky Deliveries

From milkmen to grocery robots, what’s the future of food delivery?

THE

OF YORKSHIRE

How archaeologists are setting sail to find a lost mysterious medieval town

The world according to the British stand-up comedian +

If I Ruled The World: Glenn Moore

A Century Of Change

As we continue our centenary celebrations, we look at how film-watching has changed in the last 100 years…

PIcture this: Friday night and you are deciding what film to watch. You spend an hour browsing various streaming platforms. Eventually, you give up and decide to watch an episode of The Office that you’ve seen twenty times before.

A century ago, you would not have had this problem (problems you might have had instead include scarlet fever and global economic depression). Before the Second World War, there were only about 20,000 television sets in the UK.

That’s not to say people weren’t watching films— the 1920s saw the beginning of what has been referred to as the “golden age” of cinemagoing. This peaked in 1946, with 1.64 billion recorded cinema visits in Great Britain.

first home video player. This soon led to the emergence of video rental stores, and many happy evenings spent browsing the videos on offer at Blockbuster and filling pick-and-mix boxes.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. Blockbuster faced fierce competition, including from Netflix’s mail-order DVD service. Then, in 2007, Netflix launched its online streaming service and revolutionised film-watching. Although it was not the first online streaming platform, it achieved success on a whole new scale.

Blockbuster, on the other hand, filed for bankruptcy protection in 2010 and as of 2022, there is just one Blockbuster store left (in Bend, Oregon, if you fancy a trip down memory lane).

The golden age couldn’t last forever, and the late 1950s saw cinema visits decline. By the 1960s, 75 per cent of British homes had a television.

In 1975, Sony created the very

Next time you are struggling to pick a film, why not close your eyes and choose at random? You can probably fit a whole second film into all the time you would have spent deliberating! n

BY ALICE GAWTHROP