Reader's Digest UK Oct 2015

features

12 Reasons to be chee R ful

James Brown doesn’t let sobriety get in the way of a rollicking good time e ntertainment

20 “sto RI es about W o M en a R e la RG elY untol D”

Carey Mulligan discusses her new film Suffragette and the problem with female roles

30 “ I Re M e M be R”: ben fo G le

The TV presenter on his love of the outdoors and combining adventure with family life

Health

38 W hat You nee D to kno W about choleste R ol

All the latest information from striking new studies

Inspire

58 G u ID e D o G s

fo R the b R a I n

How pooches can help those with traumatic head injuries, and the charity behind it

66 best of b RI t I sh: co M e DY clubs

Why you should head to your local club for a great night out

74 fa MI lY h ol IDaY

P hoto co MP et I t I on: the WI nne R s

So who grabbed the prizes? We reveal the best pictures

travel & a dventure

82 the Rock aMonG the Waves

The secluded Greek island of Monemvasia has it all

96 “no chIlD shoulD

WItness thIs”

We follow an aid worker on his harrowing journey through the Gaza Strip

I t’s onlY ten Y ea R s since her screen debut, but Carey Mulligan still feels like a veteran actor. She’s been the recipient of numerous awards and accolades since 2005, and the bandwagon will carry on rolling with her lead performance in Suffragette, the brilliant new film about the early women’s movement. You can read my interview with Carey on p20, and the movie is reviewed on p17.

We know that lots of our readers love animals, so I’d urge them to turn to “Guide Dogs for the Brain” on p58, a look at Headway’s Brainy Dogs charity, which uses specially trained pooches to aid those with traumatic brain injuries. And further inspiration can be found in our report from Gaza on p96, following the work of Save the Children in this troubled region.

Finally, a big thank you to all who contributed to our Family Holiday Photo Competition. We had great fun going through all the pictures, and you can see the winning entries on p74. Congratulations to them!

tom Browne

theeditor@readersdigest.co.uk

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’Tis the Season of Superstition

So October has finally arrived. With its crisp, chilly air and lengthening evenings, it conjures up images of golden sunshine, cosy nights indoors, pumpkins—and some very sinister goings on.

As the misty weather closes in, be sure to pay a visit to the Reader’s Digest website, where we’ll be uncovering the truth behind some old Halloween superstitions, including the reason why we’re fearful of the little guy pictured above. From cider to pumpkin carving, we’re diving into the month like it’s a pile of autumn leaves.

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Things were very odd in the olden days…

These may be some of the creepiest costumes we’ve ever seen, and they’re all vintage!

Visit readersdigest. co.uk/halloween for more—if you dare.

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Over to You

L e TT e R s on TH e A ugus T I ssue

We pay £50 for letter of the month and £30 for all others

✯ letter of the month...

“The Dalai Lama Turns 80” was a truly inspiring read. What a wonderful man he is—his whole life has been devoted to good works and the achievement of peace in the world. Reading the interview made me feel rather emotional.

If everyone had just a little more tolerance towards each other—and became more accepting of each others’ beliefs and ideals—the planet our children grew up on would be completely different. They would enjoy a world where there’s food for all, where there’s peace instead of war. His Holiness’ attitude represents the pinnacle—even if we alll took on a fraction of his sense of belief and love, imagine what a difference it would make.

As long as there are people like the Dalai Lama, then there’s hope in the world. geraldine miller, Liverpool

I t ’S A ll I n the t I tle

In response to the letter from Mrs J D Holmes in “Over To You”, I’d like to mention that I work for the 111 service, where we ask all adults if we can use their first name. I did the same at the three GP practices I worked at previously.

Most people of my age (57) would

rather be called by their first name. Anything else makes us sound old!

However, what no one should be doing nowadays in our multicultural, melting-pot society is refer to someone’s first name as their “Christian” name. More people would complain about that, I suspect! Janice rankin, Glasgow

refre S h I n G lo CA l r ADI o

Out of curiosity, I tuned into Soho Radio after reading about James Brown’s experiences there as a DJ in “Reasons To Be Cheeful”. I was pleasantly surprised—it really did appear that the presenters chose their own music, and the features and news were all about what was happening in the area.

The BBC try as hard as they can to produce “local” radio, but all the stations have the same format, the same playlist and quite often the same presenters...it’s all very bland and boring. Let’s put some of the excitement back into radio broadcasting by following the Soho example. andreW BerrY, Lincolnshire

W e m USt hel P other S

“Adrift” was a thought-provoking article. The surge in African migrants risking their lives to cross the sea to Europe is extremely worrying, and I’ll admit that reading about it distressed me.

I hope Dominique’s documentary will prick the consciences of everyone who has the power to make a difference to the lives of these migrants, so they don’t feel compelled to leave their homes.

JOanne aiTcH, Wirral

A ll h AI l h A mmon D

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Phil Hammond’s philosophies in “If I Ruled The World”. I couldn’t help but nod along in agreement when he said he would “turn off screens for an hour each day”, when highlighting how children recognise corporate logos yet cannot identify flowers.

I work in a junior school and it never ceases to amaze me that most of the class of eight-year-olds can quite easily navigate their way through complex computer games, but look blankly at me if I suggest a game of scrabble or dominoes.

melanie lOdge, Yorkshire

e SCAP e to the CI t Y

I was enthralled by “Ian Rankin’s Edinburgh”. It was hugely interesting to learn more about the Scottish capital—and the side of it that most people miss. A walkable city, I’ve always been told the best way to discover Edinburgh is to throw away your map and stumble across its hidden wynds and staircases.

It’s a place I’ve always wanted to visit and for our 30th wedding anniversary this year, my husband and I have finally booked to go. We may take Ian’s map!

carOline mccaUleY, London

...diFFere Ntly

There’s nothing that unusual about 154 people crowded together—at least in a market, cinema or church. But it’s different when you’re being pulled on skis for a nautical mile by a 3,000-horsepower boat. That’s what happened in January 2012 on the Australian island of Tasmania, with water-ski enthusiasts from all over the world taking part. Only nine of them were unable to stand on their feet (or rather on their skis), while 145 athletes stood their ground —a new world record.

A determination to avoid booze didn’t stop James Brown from going crazy in Cartmel

Getting Back On The Stag

James, founder of Loaded magazine, now edits Sabotage Times—an online magazine with the motto: “We can’t concentrate, why should you?”

Aside from Alcohol And fl AmboyAnt dAncing, the other thing I’ve tended to avoid since quitting booze 17 years ago are stag dos. What happens on stag dos? You get drunk and execute extreme pranks. I did that for a living at Loaded magazine and loved it. No, I felt, stags aren’t a safe environment for me.

I know sensible people who’ve been subjected to really bad things on stag dos. I always laugh when I remember a friend—who’s now a senior British officer in the anti-terrorist squad—chained to the topiary horse on the Wetherby roundabout in Leeds, blind drunk and in his pants. He got off lightly. The plan had been to helicopter him to Nottingham and leave him there comatose, but unfortunately a low cloud ruled that out.

I realised stags weren’t for me any more when a former colleague, who was a total maniac, invited me to Barcelona for his. I didn’t jump at the opportunity as I would have done, so he assured me the it would be a pretty quiet affair. When I asked who was going, he replied, “All the lads from the ad team, some rugby fellas I know and a couple of mates from the SAS.” He wasn’t joking.

but when my friend mich A el (whose engagement I’ve written about before) invited me to the Lake District for a day of racing at Cartmel, I thought I would break the no-stags rule.

The main challenge wasn’t the alcohol, but how badly I’d prepared for the trip. “You’ve been living down south too long,” someone remarked as I walked off the train in shorts, pumps and a T-shirt, the wind shaking the

trees around me. It was a bright day but it was freezing—at Euston it had been boiling.

I guided us to the “warmth” of an open-topped tourist bus with our destination on it. Another ridiculous

Cartmel turned out to be a beautiful little place, and race day was bristling with excitement and expectation. Solo musicians gave the pubs the feel of rural Ireland; in one, a young guy with a mouth organ teemed up with a blues guitarist, and the result was genuinely fantastic. The crowd went wild, instigating their own collection in a hat and refusing to let them end.

At the track I lost on the first three races, before realising the resident race-card tipster was delivering winners or each-way finishes every time. I followed him and then won four of the five subsequent races. Of course the one I lost was the last race, which I’d lumped most of my previous winnings on. I still came away slightly up and vowing to become a bookie.

is that the bookies have gone digital. There are no more brightly-coloured betting slips decorated with numbers and playing-card symbols. Not that they gave you luck, mind you—I usually took far too many home in tact for my liking.

A round of putting, followed by a few farewell pints, set us up nicely to miss the train back

Everyone enjoyed the day—even the guy who won big on one race, but after two bottles of champagne had to hand over the rest of his winnings to a bloke he owed. “That £360 lasted just ten minutes!” he marvelled.

over A ll, m Atthew got off lightly, thanks to another stag party we met. They were wheeling a black coffin round on an upright trolley with a bloke called “Biffa” padlocked inside. Beneath a hole for his face was a memorial plaque announcing his birth and imminent departure from the single male world. It was very funny to watch him being wheeled (with difficulty) into tiny pub doorways, bumping uncomfortably over fields and being smothered in red-lipstick kisses by passing women.

Incidentally, the result of my gambling was the same as ever, but one thing I noticed that’s changed

Weather and hangovers prevented anyone venturing out onto the lake the next day. Even so, after buying Peter Rabbit presents for my baby move. Within minutes we were being whipped by overhanging branches, shaking in the chilly breeze. As soon as we arrived at the hotel, I darted out to buy underpants, a jumper, two coats and a pair of thick walking socks to insulate my lightweight trainers. Ready at last.

Billy and the bride-to-be Zara, a round of putting, followed by a few farewell pints for the chaps, set us up nicely to miss the train back.

The cab driver, who’d arrived late, apologetically insisted he’d take us to the next stop at no extra price. He raced hell-for-leather down to Lancaster from Windermere, adding

a last bit of excitement. No one was chained to a horse and no one ended up in a lake.

All in all, it was a great weekend of middle-aged former wild men taking it easy. I’ll definitely head back to Cartmel to lose some more money and see the Lake Districts answer to Howlin’ Wolf again.

budding authors, take a bow!

This unusual, pacey tale was one of thousands submitted to this year’s 100-Word-Story Competition. We’re publishing a commended story every month.

eight seConds? Far too earLY to giVe uP

“Eight.” I stand paralysed in the bunker, struck dumb. “seven.” Can’t breathe. no point anyway. “six.” seb’s cold fingers close around mine, imprisoning them. “Five.” one day, people may discover our bodies, hands locked together in a deathless grip. “Four.” they’ll think we did nothing. I shove seb away and lunge for the case. “three.” A flurry of desperate dextrous movement. like taking a three-second exam. “two.” ninety per cent of my mind hacks. nine per cent panics. “one.” one per cent wonders what the next world will be like. Guess I won’t get to find out yet.

Lucy Brissenden, Cheshire

Lucy says: “I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was nine because, like so many other people, I got hooked on the rewarding escapism it provides. I was particularly captivated by Terry Pratchett’s fantasies and the rich, imaginative worlds he creates.

A hundred words is a short amount, so I decided that a tense few seconds—something that didn’t need a lot of explanation but was still gripping enough to interest readers—was the best setting to describe. Lucy will receive a cheque for £50

No.1 for sensitive skin*

Proven Skin Kindness

*Based on AC Nielsen, MAT, 25th April 2015

“Stories About Women Are Largely Untold”

Carey Mulligan talks about her lead role in the new film Suffragette, and the problems still facing women today

by tom browne

© Stuart C. Wil S on/Stringer

Waiting in london’s s oho hotel for Carey Mulligan to arrive is a nerve-wracking experience. I don’t usually confess to being starstruck, but Mulligan’s achievements cast a long shadow: numerous acclaimed performances on stage and screen, Bafta winner, Oscar nominee and ambassador for the charity War Child—all before the age of 30.

She must be intimidating in the flesh, surely?

finally she arrives, dressed in a long floral dress and heavily pregnant (she and her husband, the musician Marcus Mumford, are expecting their first child later this year). She smiles and greets me, and I immediately relax. Far from being intimidating, Mulligan the person is reassuringly…normal.

We’re here to talk about her role in Suffragette, which has already caused a buzz of excitement among those who have seen it. Six years in the making and written by British playwright Abi Morgan—who brought the life of Margaret Thatcher to the screen in The Iron Lady— Suffragette begins in London in 1912 and ends with the death of Emily Davidson, whose tragic collision with the king’s horse at the 1913 Epsom

Derby gave the suffragette movement its first martyr.

Mulligan plays Maud in the film, a laundry worker and housewife who gets drawn into the movement almost by accident. Although her character is fictional, she’s a useful cipher for the women of that time, who were gradually radicalised by the injustices they witnessed.

“It’s an amazing role and an amazing cast.” Carey Mulligan (centre, next to Meryl Streep) and the other women behind Suffragette

“What’s good about Maud is that she begins the story not involved in the cause at all,” explains Mulligan. “She’s within the boundaries of her social convention. She’s in a Victorian working-class family, she’s a wife and a mother, and she works in the laundry. But she has absolutely no interest in the suffragette movement and absolutely no interest in being

involved in politics. She keeps herself to herself. But through meeting these women and being inspired by them, she finds her voice.”

those expeCting a gentle pieCe of heritage C ine M a might be surprised by how shocking Suffragette actually is in places. There are scenes of rioting and civil disobedience early

others—are both a shock and an education. Although the basic outlines of the suffragette story are well known, and characters such as Emmeline Pankhurst (played in cameo by Meryl Streep) will be familiar to most, much of the detail is an invaluable history lesson. I ask Mulligan if she was surprised when researching her role.

on, often filmed in tense close-up with handheld cameras. But this is soon overshadowed by a brutal sequence in which a crowd of women outside Westminster, angry at being told that a change in law to grant women the vote has failed to pass, are set upon by policemen armed with truncheons.

Moments like these—and many

“Yes, a lot of the stuff in the script was surprising to me,” she replies, nodding her head. “I knew about the hunger strikes, for example, but investigating what that meant and what force feeding meant was eyeopening. And I didn’t really know anything about the destruction of property and communication lines. Also, the act of walking into a gallery and defacing a famous piece of art…well, just imagine walking into the V&A today and taking a knife to

Carey as Maud in Suffragette; (right) marching for women’s rights with Violet (Anne-Marie Duff)

a painting. It would be terrifying! A crazy, terrifying act.”

So has the women’s movement been overlooked in the teaching of our history in schools?

“Well, I remember a page in a textbook that was dedicated to social movements in Victorian Britain, but it wasn’t something that we went into in great detail. I was talking about this recently with Anne-Marie [Duff, who plays fellow laundry worker Violet]. She remembers very distinctly covering the suffragettes, but I don’t. I certainly didn’t feel, as a young woman, any kind of pride when it came to voting. It wasn’t something I was anticipating through my teen years.”

Indeed, although Pankhurst herself has inspired many plays, TV dramas, books and songs, this is the first time the suffragettes have been depicted on the big screen. Given how gripping and historically important their story is, you’d think that the big studios would have addressed this oversight before now.

a lot of people have sat around tables in various production offices and decided it wasn’t financially viable.”

Considering Carey Mulligan’s C areer, it’s easy to forget this obvious point about sexism. After all, her credits over the past five years alone include movies such as Never Let Me Go, Shame, The Great Gatsby, Inside Llewyn Davis and Far From the Madding Crowd. These are some of the best films of the past decade, and would be career highlights for any actor. Good judgement and a degree of luck helps, of course, but none of Mulligan’s achievements have been easy.

“You either make a lot of compromises and play roles you’re not very keen on, or you have to wait”

“Before I did Far From the Madding Crowd, I hadn’t worked for about 18 months,” she reveals. “That was mainly because there wasn’t anything that interesting to work on. You either make a lot of compromises and play roles you’re not very keen on, or you have to wait.

“I don’t think it’s an oversight at all,” Mulligan interjects firmly. “I think we have a sexist film industry, and stories about women are largely untold. This is one that’s fallen by the wayside because of that. I think

“I’ve been incredibly lucky in getting the jobs I’ve done, and I did enough work in the earlier part of my career to allow me to sit around a bit. But that’s a privileged position—not many people get to do that.”

When discussing the problems other, less fortunate female actors

face, we briefly touch upon the Bechdel test. You can try it yourself: think of a film with at least two named female characters who talk to each other about something other than men. Although only intended as a rough indicator, it’s amazing how many movies fail. Thankfully, Suffragette passes—within the first five minutes.

But as well as the numerous standout female performances, it’s also worth highlighting a couple of male ones—not least Ben Whishaw as Maud’s husband Sonny, an ordinary workingclass man dismayed at his wife’s growing radicalism.

“I never felt we were making a documentary about events long ago; it’s about the way things are now”

“Yes, Ben’s extraordinary,” agrees Mulligan with a smile. “It would have been easy to make him a draconian Victorian patriarch, but he added all this colour and empathy. Lots of men were supportive of the suffragette movement, but Sonny represents the average working man who was brought up in the way that most men were brought up. He just can’t grasp why his wife is suddenly having these ideas.”

the ConteMporary relevan C e of the film is also reflected in another great male performance—that of Brendan Gleeson, who plays Inspector Steed of the Metropolitan Police. He keeps

© Moviestore collection l td/ a la M y / © 20th century fox

Standout roles: (left) as Daisy in The Great Gatsby and (below) Bathsheba in Far From the Madding Crowd

tabs on the suffragettes from the start, secretly photographing members and compiling dossiers. The references to today’s debate on surveillance, of course, couldn’t be clearer.

“It was the first time the Met used that kind of surveillance, and it was on women,” Mulligan points out. “The whole surveillance culture rolled out from there, from following the suffragette movement. It was the first time they felt that kind of threat.”

And we should remember that the devastating film of Emily Davidson going under a horse was the first such clip that went worldwide. The news footage of her funeral—which closes the film—likewise had an enormous global impact. Given that we’re still debating the power of images and the power of global

communications, Suffragette really is a movie for our times.

“Absolutely,” agrees Mulligan. “It’s using the framework of 1912 to talk about the period we’re living in today. I never felt like we were making a documentary about events long ago; it’s about the way things are now.”

And with that, we shake hands and part. Mulligan, you sense, knows that Suffragette represents some of her finest work as an actor, and should figure prominently in the awards season. Ten years since her debut, her star shows no sign of waning.

Now that’s intimidating.

Suffragette opens the London Film Festival on october 7 and is released on october 12. For coverage of the LFF, go to readersdigest.co.uk/entertainment

aw K war D a DV erti S in G

the honest slogans blog has come up with alternative taglines for the world’s most famous brands.

amazon: “priming us to never leave the house.”

linkedin: “connect with people for no reason at all.”

Pizza Hut: “We have a salad bar for some reason.”

Chapstick: “you’ll misplace it before the tube’s empty.”

Werther’s original: “in the purse of every grandma.”

gilette: “We’re just going to keep adding more blades.”

lego: “the bane of your foot’s existence.”

ikea: “We throw in extra parts just to mess with you.”

Perrier “rich-people water.”

S our C e : H one S t S logan S. C oM

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Whether you enjoy evenings out at the theatre, days by the sea or you prefer a good conversation over a light supper, Reader’s Digest Dating can help you find the perfect companion with whom to share your favourite past times

AT READER’S DIGEST WE THINK OF ONLINE DATING A LITTLE

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Ben Fogle, 41, first appeared on TV in 1999’s Castaway. Now a broadcaster and adventurer, he traverses the globe to meet people living in the most unusual places

Ben Fogle

“I Remember”

…watching my father operating on a dog. I don’t know what the operation was, but I would have been about six years old and it was in central London. He had his veterinary clinic in our house and his operating theatre was down in the basement. My favourite thing was coming back from school and watching him operate on whatever he had there—dogs, cats, guinea pigs, lizards, parrots. I’d hope that one day I’d be a vet. That was my childhood ambition.

…life was very happy at home and it was always a busy house. The veterinary nurses and our nanny lived there with us, and lots of actors and actresses would come and go. There were always photographers, film crews, dentists, vets—you name it, they visited.

…playing in h yde park in l ondon. We spent lots of time building dens around the trees there. We also had a little cottage in Sussex and I remember building forts there using bales of hay and straw. As with many children, I had a great passion for Lego. I spent a lot of time building things, especially at weekends.

…my summers in c anada on the shores of l ake c hemong in Ontario, with my late grandparents Aileen and Maurice. They were completely fundamental to who I am. We used to go out for seven or eight weeks every summer from the ages of seven

to 15, and that’s probably the biggest memory of my childhood. There was fishing, swimming and building rafts on the lake with my sisters and my Canadian cousins. It was very beautiful, surrounded by trees and lots of rocky foreshore. My grandparents took the summer off and became our parents for a couple of months.

…going to lots of different schools for various different reasons. First of all, my parents sent me to the French Lycée in South Kensington when I was about six or seven years old. It was a Frenchspeaking school and I hated it. Every

Above and right: Ben as a baby with his mum and his sister

minute of it. It was a large place with thousands of pupils, and I didn’t like the style. I prefer a smaller approach to everything in life.

…going to boarding school at b ryanston, d orset when I was 14 years old. I absolutely loathed it for the first year because I had debilitating homesickness, [but] I came to love it and now have an awful lot to thank it for. I don’t think I would be where I am without the lessons I learned at boarding school about self-sufficiency, looking after myself and not necessarily always deviating to my parents when I had to answer a question.

My housemaster Mr Long helped me through that painful year of homesickness and my headmaster Tom Wheare was wonderful. He focused on individuals, not academia. He let everyone become themselves. …when i was at university, i joined the r oyal n aval r eserve and was a midshipman for a year or so. I did think about joining the navy to become a naval officer, [but] decided at the last minute that I didn’t

want a career where I was answerable to other people. I realised early on that I wouldn’t be very good if I was accountable to a single boss.

…spending four years doing l atin a merican s tudies, and doing a year in c osta r ica in a university out there. I spent one of the most significant parts of my life —between 18 and 23—in Central and South America, going to Mexico, Ecuador and Bolivia. I became fluent in Spanish and developed a love of Latin America—the literature, the history, the geography, the language.

…after my degree, g etting a job working at c ondé n ast, at Tatler magazine. I spent a little over a year as a picture editor, and then I applied to go on Castaway in 1999. I

Ben on the Western Isles. “I still find it the most captivating place on the planet”

decided I wanted more excitement and adventure. Castaway was filmed over 13 months and there had been no TV documentary quite like it. It was a pioneering social experiment.

My abiding memory is happiness. I loved the whole experience—the farming, the self-sufficiency, the beauty of the place. Obviously I missed my family and friends, but I enjoyed everything else about it. There was always something happening, because even someone taking an extra egg would become a massive issue for us. There was lots of boredom on there, but never a dull moment.

I wouldn’t be doing what I do now, certainly not in the capacity I do it, on TV [without Castaway]. For me, it was the starting point of a whole new life.

…thinking that life is full of lucky breaks. I still don’t know why I was chosen to go on Castaway . Most of the people had some sort of vocation and I didn’t come with very much at all, so I think that was very much a lucky break. The BBC then picked up on me and asked me whether I wanted to present on Countryfile and Animal Park with Kate Humble— another lucky break.

But I also think you make your own success. In 2004 I ran a race across the Sahara Desert, the Marathon des Sables. I took a punt and made my own documentary about it. I ended up selling it to the BBC and the show did fantastically well. Life is more than just good fortune—you have to act on those lucky breaks.

… The TeaT ime i slands was the first book i ever wrote. I’d thought about becoming a travel writer when I was very young, and I’d always been fascinated by the idea of these very remote islands in other corners of the world that were British. So I wrote a book about the places I visited—including the Pitcairn Islands, Tristan da Cunha and Diego Garcia. I spent the best part of a year getting to these islands, as very few of them have air access. It took lengthy boat journeys and many weeks at sea.

It was a huge test for me to write 100,000 words, as I had never excelled at English and wasn’t academic. It’s one of my proudest achievements: writing a book, selling it and seeing it do very well.

…capsizing halfway across the atlantic while in a rowing boat with James Cracknell in 2005. It was one of those moments where I couldn’t see how we were going to get out of it. The boat got hit by a wave—we were able to right it and carry on, but it was a good couple of hours of struggling. I’ve never rowed an ocean again ; it rather put me off.

…seeing a pretty blonde girl with a dog in the park. It took us about five or six months before we struck up conversation. I then invited her out for a drink and the rest is history. It was about 2004 and we’d been walking our dogs in Hyde Park.

Ben and James Cracknell rowed across the Atlantic in 2005. Their epic adventure was turned into a BBC series, Through Hell and High Water

Marina had—and happily still has—a chocolate Labrador, Maggi, and I had a Labrador called Inca, who I had on the island in Castaway.

…learning to adapt to being away from my family. Marina and I have been married for nearly ten years now and we’ve been able to make our lives work. We’re definitely more solid, especially as we’re now adapting to life with two small children, making it work for them as well. [But] it’s not easy for any of us. It’s my career and it’s what makes the money, so there’s no easy way out of it.

It’s still a work in progress, though— trying to find that perfect balance between being away and spending time with my family. …never being happier than in the w estern i sles. I still feel like I’m home when I’m there. But obviously in terms of people, I’m never more content than I am when I’m home, which is now in London. Being with my family is what gives me the greatest pleasure.

I don’t know exactly what it is about the Western Isles that appeals to me —it might be the time in my life and

what it meant to me, or its white sandy beaches, the skies, the rain, the sunshine, the turquoise water...everything about it. It’s unspeakably beautiful. I’ve travelled to over 100 countries and I still find it the most captivating place on the planet. It was such a significant part in my life in the way that it changed me. I owe a great deal to the Western Isles.

Above: Ben and his wife Marina take their children to a premiere; (left) the couple at their wedding in 2006

…having my preconceptions constantly challenged. I’ve just got back from living with a woman who looked like a cross between a witch, a new-age traveller and a hippy. I expected her to be all of those, but she was far more intelligent, far more intellectual and far more considered than those stereotypes. It happens on a weekly basis, so I now try to go in with an open mind.

…getting around language problems all my life. I had some very good friends who were Latin American, and they taught me little bits of [their] language. I was forced to learn Spanish the hard way when I

went on to Ecuador for a year and lived with a family who spoke barely any English. I think the challenge goes all the way back to when I was at the Lycée as a seven-year-old. You weren’t allowed to speak English there—you had to speak French.

I spend more time in countries where I don’t speak the language than where I do. Sign language is the language of adventure…it’s amazing how you can get by in the farthest corners of the world with nothing but a smile and a little sign language. As told to Joy Persaud

Ben is on tour with Call of the Wild. For details and to book tickets, visit link.co.uk

ne V er JUDG e a BOOK BY it S name

Some books have achieved near-iconic status, but would they have been so memorable with their original titles?

The principal character in A Week With Willie Worm was changed to create The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Vladimir Nabokov was planning to go with Kingdom By The Sea before switching the title of his novel to Lolita

The Last Man In Europe isn’t nearly as catchy as what later became george orwell’s magnum opus: Nineteen Eighty-Four

roald Dahl decided one type of fruit was nicer than another, changing James and the Giant Cherry to James and the Giant Peach

Strangers From Within was rejected six times before it was renamed Lord of the Flies

SOURCE: MENTALFLOSS. CO M

What You Need to K N o W about Cholesterol

The latest information from striking new studies and leading specialists

By AnitA B A rtholomew

n friday morning, april 16, 2004, Mohamed hadibèche, then a 44-year-old truck driver in Drancy, north of paris, felt a mild pain in his chest. it was gone within minutes. The following morning, the pain returned—again, subsiding soon after. so when the pain returned the next afternoon, he assumed he could ignore it. but this time it rapidly grew more intense. “i felt i had a stake deep in my chest,” recalls Mohamed. his wife houria insisted on getting him to hospital.

Mohamed couldn’t have known it that Sunday, but inside the walls of the arteries leading to his heart, cholesterol had been building up. Over time, this cholesterol had hardened into a substance called plaque, creating a condition called atherosclerosis. These plaques narrowed the space through which his blood flowed.

When plaques rupture, as they sometimes do, blood clots can form, further interfering with the flow of blood. This appears to be what happened to Mohamed. Blocked by hard, calcified cholesterol and clots, oxygenrich blood could no longer reach his heart. And thus Mohamed Hadibèche suffered a heart attack.

What is cholesterol and why do we have it?

Cholesterol is a fat-like substance called a lipid that’s primarily produced by the liver. We couldn’t live without it. “You need it for hormones, DNA and cell membranes,” says Ian Graham, professor of cardiovascular medicine at Trinity College in Dublin.

If it wasn’t for cholesterol, your brain couldn’t function.

However, cholesterol doesn’t swim through your blood vessels all by itself. When your doctor tells you your cholesterol levels, she’s actually talking about the levels of several different types of particles that include cholesterol as just one component. These tiny particles are called lipoproteins, because their exteriors are made up of proteins, while the interior contains the lipid cholesterol and a second lipid called triglyceride. (Triglycerides make up most of the fat in your body.)

Your cholesterol test only measures the first two major lipoproteins. High Density Lipoprotein (HDL) is the socalled “good” cholesterol. Low Density Lipoprotein (LDL), named for its lower concentration of cholesterol, is commonly labelled “bad” cholesterol. The third major lipoprotein is Very Low Density Lipoprotein (VLDL), a larger particle with a high concentration of triglycerides.

These lipoprotein particles are circulating through your bloodstream,

You can’t change your genes, but you can change your lifestyle—eating healthier foods can help regulate cholesterol levels

dropping off molecules of cholesterol and other substances wherever they are required—and sometimes where they’re not. Because, despite how important cholesterol is to your body’s functioning, you can have too much of

this good thing. “We have four times more than we need,” says Professor Graham. “Nobody quite knows why.”

When that excess goes where it’s least welcome—sticking to the walls of your arteries, as happened to Mohamed —it increases the risk of heart problems. If the arteries leading to the brain are involved, it can increase the risk of stroke.

Not all heart problems are related to high cholesterol, but the World Health Organisation estimates that cholesterol is responsible for a third of coronary heart disease cases. That’s significant, because cardiovascular disease is the number-one killer in Europe, accounting for more than four million deaths a year. Meanwhile, high triglycerides— fats that rise when “good” cholesterol levels fall—can double the risk of stroke, says a large 2012 study.

How lifestyle affects cholesterol levels

“All the lipids in [blood] plasma are determined by lifestyle and genetics,” says Dr Børge Nordestgaard of Copenhagen University Hospital. And while you can’t change your genes, you can change your lifestyle.

After analysing results from six earlier studies, scientists determined that exercise can reduce cholesterol, but not as much as an improved diet. You’ll reach healthier levels more surely by combining the two. And, if you’ve added pounds over the years, losing that weight is probably the most

important lifestyle change you can make. Dr Ronald Mensick, a researcher in the department of human biology at Maastricht University, says, “If body weight goes down, LDL goes down.” As a rule, so do triglycerides.

But weight loss is difficult for most people, and maintaining weight loss can be even more so.

This leaves eating healthier foods —effective, safe and infinitely more doable—as the best first step in getting cholesterol under control for the great majority of us.

But not everyone gets that message. Mohamed didn’t, despite more than a month in the hospital and a stint at a cardiac rehabilitation centre. Because his cholesterol levels were perilously high, his doctors prescribed a statin drug, Tahor, that inhibits an enzyme the liver uses to produce cholesterol. Statins are the most common drug treatment for people with high cholesterol. But nobody suggested Mohamed change his diet. And even if doctors had, back in 2004, he might have got the wrong advice.

New information on diet and cholesterol levels

What you should eat to control cholesterol has been a source of confusion. Recent research shows that, contrary to previous assumptions—and previous advice doled out to patients—the cholesterol that you consume contributes only a trivial increase to the cholesterol in your bloodstream. It’s the excess

cholesterol your liver manufactures that causes problems. That excess is still related to the foods you eat, but not necessarily those foods doctors warned against in the past.

Scientists once believed that all dietary fats increased fats in the blood. Now they know that the main culprits are saturated and trans fats, especially in a diet that includes big helpings of red meat and, surprisingly enough, starchy, sugary and processed foods.

“We did studies expecting to see a benefit on cholesterol levels of [a lowfat diet], and lo and behold, we saw the opposite,” says Dr Ronald Krauss, director of atherosclerosis research at Children’s Hospital Oakland Research Institute, California. That’s because, when reducing the overall fat they eat, “Most people will replace the calories with carbohydrates,” he says.

A diet that serves up lots of starchy and sugary carbohydrates—such as bread, potatoes, added sugar and white rice—increases VLDL, LDL and triglycerides while it decreases the so-called good cholesterol, HDL. A large 12-year Danish study published in 2009 found that substituting starches and sugars for saturated fats in the diet increased the incidence of heart attacks.

Meanwhile, say numerous studies and experts from across Europe and the US, many unsaturated fats (namely those which are liquid at room temperature), especially those found in olive oil, fatty fish and nuts, actually

whAt is “good” Cholesterol ?

hdl hAs long Been duBBed “good” cholesterol because when its levels are high, heart risks decrease. so scientists theorised it was actively scrubbing bad cholesterol off artery walls. but when drugs were developed that increased hDL, they failed to lower the risk of heart disease. What was going on?

Professor nordestgAArd says that the so-called “good” cholesterol probably isn’t an active “bad” cholesterol scrubber, but something more akin to a passive indicator.

Think of a road sign. The sign shows you where a road might curve, but doubling the number of signs won’t change the curve. The cholesterol “curve”, according to professor nordestgaard, is VLDL—a type of cholesterol that is downright ugly and can greatly increase heart health risks.

When “good” hDL cholesterol is high, ugly VLDL is low, and vice-versa.

so if levels of “good” hdl do no more than tell you whether your VLDL is high or low, increasing hDL won’t change your risk, any more than adding more road signs will change the curve.

help lower cholesterol levels. People are more likely to have lower cholesterol levels when they eat a diet rich in fresh vegetables, legumes, whole grains, fish and nuts.

The Mediterranean diet is one such regime, and a Dutch study published in 2010 found that it reduced total and LDL cholesterol. Another study found that a diet high in plant fibre, soya and almonds decreased LDL cholesterol about as well as statins—the gold standard in cholesterol-lowering drugs.

When lifestyle changes aren’t enough

Outi Elovaara, a petite mother of six from Forssa, Finland, didn’t seem like someone who would have high cholesterol. She maintained a healthy weight, ate well—preferring vegetables, whole grains, fish, and lean meats—and she exercised regularly.

But in July 2012, at the age of 51, she suffered a stroke. “The blockage started from my heart and travelled to my brain,” she says. “My speech became slurred and one side of my face hung down.” It was all so sudden. She continues, “I kept thinking I would be paralysed and at the mercy of others for the rest of my life.”

But Outi was lucky. She regained her ability to speak in a couple of days, and her only lingering symptoms are difficulty writing by hand and a slight weakness in her left arm.

Still, Outi’s total cholesterol, at 6.8mmol, was more than double what

doctors now recommend for someone with a family history of heart disease. Her father died of a heart attack at the age of 41 and her sister at 59. After her stroke, it was imperative that Outi reduce her cholesterol to safer levels.

She was given prescriptions for a statin to reduce cholesterol, as well as for Plavix, to prevent blood clots.

While statins are often sufficient to reduce LDL to healthier levels, some people need additional medications

identifying Cholesterol tArgets

while tArgets for cholesterol levels can vary from country to country—for people who aren’t at high risk—most call for a maximum 5mmol total cholesterol; maximum 3mmol LDL cholesterol and minimum 1mmol hDL.

Triglycerides typically should be lower than 1.7mmol.

PeoPle At higher risk

should aim for lower total and LDL targets, says Dr Gitt—and, he notes, those targets keep getting revised downward.

“new studies came out showing that even lower levels of LDL cholesterol were of benefit,” says Dr Gitt. in high-risk patients, many experts now recommend they get their LDL below 1.8mmol.

to reach their targets. So a drug called ezetimibe, sold under the brand names Zetia and Vytorin (a combination pill with both ezetimibe and a statin), might be prescribed.

According to Dr Anselm Gitt, a cardiologist and researcher in Ludwigshafen, Germany, in a randomised trial of 18,000 high-risk patients, combining ezetimibe with statin treatment brought down LDL cholesterol levels an additional ten per cent, on average.

“Ezetimibe has a totally different mechanism,” says Dr Gitt. Rather than inhibiting cholesterol production, ezetimibe works by reducing the absorption of cholesterol. This one-two punch can often help people reach safe levels when statins, by themselves, fall short.

But what are your options when you need greater cholesterol reduction than you can get with diet alone —and you can’t tolerate statins? Outi Elovaara is among those who experienced severe side effects. “I tried to take the medication, but it was impossible due to joint and muscle pain,” says Outi.

Muscle problems are the most commonly recognised side-effects of statins, says Dr Krauss—but, he says, other potential concerns are just now coming to light, including a somewhat higher risk of developing type 2 diabetes. Given the life-saving potential of statins, it’s often worth the small risk. But newer—and far more powerful— drugs are in the pipeline.

Promising new treatments coming soon

The answer for people like Outi, who are at high risk and who either can’t get cholesterol low enough solely with statins and diet, or who can’t tolerate statins, might come in the form of a genetically engineered medication designed to help the liver eliminate LDL cholesterol. Several such drugs, called PCSK9 inhibitors, are in the final stages of clinical trials and results have been very promising. None yet are approved for sale, but Dr Gitt estimates that at least one will be by the end of this year or in early 2016. According to Dr Gitt, “If you give this drug, you will bring down the LDL by another 70 per cent.”

todAy, outi relies on plant sterol and stanol food supplements rather

than prescription drugs to reduce her cholesterol. These are waxy substances produced by plants that are similar to our own cholesterol, and have been shown to help lower cholesterol levels. As of her last check-up, her total cholesterol was 4.6—better than when she suffered her stroke, but not yet where it should be.

Meanwhile, Mohamed started working with a nutritionist and came to see that his lifestyle was adversely affecting his health. He stopped smoking, cut down on sugar, salt and saturated fat, and started an exercise programme. “The impact on my blood analysis is unbelievable,” he says.

It just goes to show that today’s solutions, and tomorrow’s developments, can help everyone keep their cholesterol at a healthy level.

grum B les A t se A

Disappointed by your holiday? here are some curious complaints from cruise-ship passengers.

“it took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to england. it only took the Americans three hours to get home.”

“it’s your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

“we had to queue outside with no air conditioning.”

“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. your brochure shows the sand to be yellow, but it was white.”

SOURCE: CRU i SE . CO . U k

Smoking-the hidden effects on a man’s health

SMOKING ACCOUNTS FOR OVER 100,000 DEATHS IN THE UK EACH YEAR. Although we are very aware of the risks, nicotine is highly addictive and it can be incredibly hard to kick the habit. e links to conditions such as lung cancer and heart disease are well documented, but if that’s not enough to make you consider quitting, here are a few of the lesserknown consequences.

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION

Nicotine has an adverse affect on blood flow to the penis, which makes getting an erection more difficult. Damage caused by smoking increases over time, to the point where it is eventually irreversible.

e psychological side of having ED should not be overlooked. It can knock your confidence; have a detrimental effect on your relationships and even result in anxiety, stress and depression.

PREMATURE EJACULATION

Smoking restricts the amount of oxygen entering the body, which can impair blood vessels and muscles in the penis. Stamina and strength are also negatively influenced by a lack of oxygen, all of which can trigger ejaculation issues.

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

e chemicals found in cigarettes can cause the arteries to narrow, leading to high blood pressure. A higher BP increases your risk of developing cardiovascular problems in the future, including stroke, aneurysms and blood clots, all of which can be fatal.

HOW TO STOP SMOKING

You may be hoping to hear that there is painless way to tackle your addiction, but the truth is, there is no easy way to quit. Having said that, a smoke -free lifestyle can most certainly be achieved through determination and perseverance.

If you’ve decided to try and kick the habit, it’s essential that you have support and encouragement to do so. October is a great time to give it a try, because this is when the month-long Stoptober campaign takes place. During this time, smokers across the country will take up the challenge of not smoking for 28 days straight.

e good news is that you are five times more likely to quit for good after abstaining for this period of time.

Once you have the willpower and support to quit, you are far more likely to succeed.

ere are also treatments available that can help prevent nicotine cravings during smoking withdrawal, and ensure you stay on the path towards freedom from this harmful habit.

If you’re looking to quit smoking, visit http://readersdigest.onlineclinic.co.uk to find out more about how smoking cessation treatments can help.

Symptoms You Shouldn’t Ignore

b y S u SA nn AH H ick L ing

Susannah is twice winner of the Guild of Health Writers Best Consumer Magazine Health Feature

It’ll soon be Halloween, when ghouls, ghosts and other frightening creatures emerge. You can avoid a health scare, however, by making sure you seek medical attention if you ever have any of these symptoms:

1. SHorTnESS of brEATH. If it’s hard to breathe when you’re just sitting or lying, it could be bronchitis, asthma or even a panic attack. But it could also be a sign that there’s a problem with your heart or lungs.

2 bLood in your poo. Don’t be shy and do go to the doctor. While you might simply have piles (haemorrhoids), bleeding could also indicate bowel cancer—now the fourth most common cancer in the UK. In fact, any change in bowel habits should always be checked out.

Why you should scoop poop

Nothing is more guaranteed to spoil your day than treading in a big steaming pile of fresh dog poo and tramping it into your home. But doggie do is not just smelly and messy, it also harbours a host of nasties.

In particular, Fido’s faeces may contain roundworm, a parasite which

can cause toxocariasis in humans. A roundworm may die of its own accord without giving you any trouble, but very occasionally the larvae infect vital organs and can cause seizures, breathing difficulties and even blindness. All of which makes picking up after your pooch a no brainer.

3. WEigHT LoSS. Most of us would be happy to lose a few pounds, but if you’ve lost ten per cent or more of your body weight in six months, book in with your GP. It could signal diabetes, depression, an overactive thyroid or even liver disease.

4. TirEd ALL THE TimE. This is a common complaint, but if you think you’re getting enough sleep, consider another cause. It could be a sign of diabetes, cancer, sleep apnoea (a risk factor for conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease) or depression.

5. HEAdAcHE. Headaches are common, but if you’ve had one that’s lasted for more than a week or a

sudden, sharp headache that’s made you feel sick, it’s time to check it out. Medication might be the cause, but so, more rarely, might a stroke or a brain tumour.

6. A HigH TEmpErATurE. A persistently high temperature— over 38C—could mean you’ve got a urinary tract infection or, very occasionally, cancer.

7. SpEckS in fronT of your EyES. Many of us have these floaters, especially as we get older. But if there’s a big increase, go to your optician to rule out a retinal tear. Without quick intervention, this can lead to a detached retina, which could leave you blind.

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Men’s Health: Refresh Your Memory

Recent research from the Mayo Clinic and Foundation in the US suggests that men have worse memories than women as they get older. But, research also suggests there are ways of improving your cognitive powers and staving off memory loss:

■ Have a power nap. A German study revealed that an hour’s snooze significantly improved volunteers’ ability to remember information.

■ be arty. Research shows that people who paint, draw and sculpt in middle and old age are up to 73% less likely to develop mild cognitive impairment.

■ Have a glass of red wine and some peanuts. A US study found the antioxidant plant-based compound

resveratrol, present in both the skin of red grapes and in peanuts, improved learning, memory and mood in rats.

■ eat curry. Curcumin, a key ingredient in the yellow curry spice turmeric, may improve memory and help protect against dementia.

■ Get fit. Regular exercise improves blood flow to a part of the brain involved in memory.

SEASonAL vAriATion

did you know that cholesterol levels tend to be higher in autumn and winter? in particular, levels of “bad” ldl cholesterol are likely to be raised, according to US studies. Why? We tend to have greater blood volume in the spring and summer, which will reduce levels. But it may also be that there’s less sunshine in the colder months, so we get less vitamin d vitamin d may reduce cholesterol, research has shown. We also feel less motivated to get out, get active and keep our cholesterol down once the bad weather arrives. To get a truer picture, get tested in autumn rather than relying on a spring or summer reading.

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Back Pain Fact Or Fable?

fAbLE: skinny people don’t get backache. This is a myth. Back pain is common and slim people suffer too.

fAcT: You’re more likely to have back problems if you’re overweight, as the extra pounds put stress on your back. Taking regular exercise will offer you some protection.

fAbLE: e xercise will make your poorly back worse. Not so. Bed rest is no longer recommended and exercise might even help your back heal more quickly. In a Dutch study, people with a bad back who exercised got back to work in 58 days on average, compared to 87 days for those who didn’t.

fAcT: Smokers are more likely to develop chronic back pain. A US study found that people who smoked and who had newly-developed back pain were three times more likely to go on to suffer from a long-term back condition.

fAbLE: a firm mattress is what you need. Surprisingly, there’s no strong evidence for this. Quite the contrary. A Spanish study of 313 people with lower-back pain found that the participants who slept on a medium mattress fared better than those who slumbered on a hard one.

THiS monTH’S HEALTH cHEck: brEAST TEST

most women know how to examine their breasts for a lump, but a survey from public health england revealed that more than half of women over 70 weren’t aware of the other possible symptoms.

Here’s what to look out for:

■ Size. has one breast become larger or lower? is there any change in shape, especially when you move your arm or lift the breast?

■ Nipples. has a nipple become inverted or changed position or shape? Are there any rashes around or on the nipple? Any discharge?

■ Skin changes. is there any dimpling or puckering?

■ Pain. is there any pain or discomfort in one breast that is different from normal, especially if it’s new or persistent?

■ Lump. is there a lump, thickening or bumpy area in one breast or armpit that’s different from the same part on the other side?

Things That Go Bump In The Night

By max pem B erton

Max is a hospital doctor, author and newspaper columnist

I don’t belIeve In ghosts. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself when I thought I saw two of them.

It was a few years ago when I was on call, the only doctor covering the entire hospital. It was an old, eerie place that had once been a workhouse. After a particularly uneventful evening, I settled down in the TV room to watch a late-night horror film. Despite being usually very sensible about this sort of thing, something about the Victorian gothic architecture of the hospital and the eerily silent corridors of the doctors’ mess made the film all the more spine-chilling.

I smoked at the time, and at around 2am I went outside to have a cigarette. I found myself peering through the iron fence that surrounds the hospital and into the churchyard beyond. I was looking up at the cloudless sky, listening to the autumn leaves rustling in the wind, when I noticed something moving between the gravestones in the far distance.

I told myself that th I s was my I mag I nat I on and marvelled at how suggestible the brain was. I then told myself to run like hell when I saw, quite clearly, a figure moving between the graves.

The figure, too far off to see properly, appeared to have a white face and a black cape. This is in my mind, I told myself, while trying to silence my knocking knees. So, in the same way that victims in horror films enter the house when all the audience are screaming for them not to, I decided to go into

the graveyard. I immediately saw something dart behind a headstone.

“This is Dr Pemberton. Please step into the light,” I said into the silence.

Slowly, from behind a headstone some way off, a figure rose and moved forward. It had a white face, with sunken eyes and a black cape. I was rapidly losing faith in rationalism.

I was about to flee, convinced I’d seen an apparition, when it said in a West-Coast American accent, “Am I in trouble, sir?”

What’s an American ghost doing in a London graveyard? I wondered.

“Sorry, we weren’t doing anything wrong,” came the voice, as another creature emerged. They were both in their twenties, one male and one female. It began to occur to me that they weren’t ghosts after all.

“Are you from St Pancras?” I asked, thinking that they may have escaped from my hospital.

“No, sir,” they both replied, before the girl added, “We’re from St Martins.” There was a brief silence. “The art college,” one of them added, helpfully. “In London,” added the other. “We’re dong an art project on death and the occult,” she continued, showing me her camera, before he butted in, “That’s why we’re dressed like this,” presumably in case I thought they usually went round dressed as the undead.

Happy in the knowledge that there is indeed a rational explanation for everything, I returned to my room, got into bed and turned off the light. And then promptly turned it back on again and went to sleep.

Illustrat I on by Dan I el Haskett

Men Think About Sex Every Seven Seconds

wHere did tHe mytH come from?

It’s rumoured that it originates from the Kinsey Institute, founded in 1947 at Indiana University to investigate sexual behaviour, but the institute has never published research on men thinking about sex. The myth clearly resonates with the idea that men are obsessed with sex, so it’s often quoted by reputable sources as fact.

wHat’S tHe trutH?

If the average man is awake for 16 hours a day, that would mean he’d

have to think about sex 57,000 times a day. How would he have time to do anything else! Research actually shows that there’s great variation. About half report thinking about sex once or several times a day. About 40 per cent say they think about it a few times a week or month, with the remainder thinking about it less than once a month. That means that about half of men don’t even think about it every day.

So, tHere’S notHing to worry aBout?

It’s interesting that the myth focuses on men and totally ignores women. In fact, research shows that, just with men, there’s great variation. On average, women tend to think about sex slightly less, with only 20 per cent thinking about it daily and 60 per cent thinking about it a few times a week or month. Of course, there’s a problem with this type of research. The more you think about the research, the more you’ll think about…well, you get the idea.

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Guide Dogs For The Brain

We meet the charity that’s discovered the perfect remedy for traumatic head injuries—an affectionate pooch

by Joy P ERS aud

Lea Cuddy’s L ife was a busy one, full of socialising and plenty of physical work. She’d often be up with the larks to prepare for the sandwich business she ran.

But one November morning in 2010, she woke with a headache. After taking a painkiller, she made her way to the spare bedroom, where she tried to sleep. But at 5am, she realised her headache was unusual.

“My head was killing me,” she recalls. “I went in to [see] my partner Richard and I was crying because my head was hurting so much. I just said, ‘Get my mum.’ So my mum gets

can’t thank him enough. But it can be lonely some days. You don’t see anyone. People you thought were your friends…they’re not there any more. I had a friend of 20 years and apparently she rang my mum when I was in hospital, but I haven’t heard from her since. Dealing with that, as well as what’s happened to me physically, is hard.”

To aid her recovery, Lea attends the Suffolk branch of Headway, the association that supports those with brain injuries. One day, she walked in to see a newcomer, Hope, who seemed to be charming everyone

“our clients have no one to love them and no one for them to love, and they need that”

a phone call at five in the morning. She came round and by that time I was being sick and was freezing cold. She said to wait an hour and then call the ambulance, but I said, ‘No, I need to go now.’ I don’t remember getting to hospital.”

Lea was diagnosed with bacterial meningitis, leaving her with memory and mobility problems. She had to learn to walk again, and she’s alone while Richard is at work.

“Richard has been amazing,” she says. “He’s still there with me through it all. He looks after me, for which I

around. Lea was struck by this, and wondered whether Hope could also enhance her life.

But Hope isn’t human. Hope is a Labrador-Spaniel crossbreed that’s part of Brainy Dogs, a charity that trains all types of rescue dogs to be companions for people with neurological conditions. Remarkably, it was started by a woman who’s petrified of the animals.

after being bitten by a stranger’s pet while on a beach aged seven, Helen Fairweather is terrified of dogs.

Yet Helen, chief executive of Headway Suffolk, is passionate about their effects on her clients.

One local person a week suffers a traumatic brain injury, she explains.

“It could be a car or cycling accident, domestic violence, or a fall down the stairs. We had one chap who was walking across the kitchen to turn off a pan of rice, slipped, bumped his head and had a traumatic brain injury.

“It can happen to any of us at any time. And the result will definitely be very poor short-term memory. So if someone’s died in their family, they can’t remember that person has died—every time, the news is new. We’ve got mums who can’t remember their children, and that’s traumatic for everybody concerned. Can you imagine your mum not remembering who you are when you’re aged five? It’s horrendous.”

As well as personality changes, brain-injured individuals often display poor communication and inappropriate sexual behaviour, which others find challenging.

“Quite often they lose their friends. Marriages and partnerships break up because it’s a lifelong condition. After two years, they begin to believe what the professionals are saying —that it’s not going to get an awful lot better.

“There may be some improvements but personality changes are going to be there for life. And people have got

Michael and his affectionate dog Boss

‘George receiving his weekly visit from Flo

Alex with Jessie

their own lives to get on with; they get very tired, very worn out. So our clients have no one to love them and no one for them to love, and they need that.”

isoL ation is a ConCern for Helen, who by chance read Endal by Allen Parton, a Royal Navy veteran who sustained a head injury. Allen was given a therapeutic companion dog (Endal) who changed his life.

“As I read the story, I thought our clients could really benefit by having an Endal,” Helen recalls. “Some time later, I was watching TV, which I don’t normally, and the vet was visiting Bondi Prison to see dogs the prisoners were looking after, to be rehab dogs for people with physical disabilities. Bondi is near Ipswich in Australia, and I thought, Anything Ipswich Australia can do, Ipswich UK can do. So I wrote to the governor at Hollesley Bay, our local open prison, and said I had this idea.

“The person who answered that letter was John, who I’d lived next door to about 30 years ago and lost contact with. When I read his letter, I began to think, I don’t read dog

Brainy Dog Flo learning to retrieve the laundry

books, I don’t watch TV, I’d lost touch with John…this is meant to be.”

With the Blue Cross and vets on board, Helen penned an application to The People’s Millions. Eventually, Brainy Dogs secured £60,000, enough to pay for a coordinator, vets’ bills and food for one year. Brainy Dogs subsequently won five years’ worth of Lottery funding.

“if you have a dog that’s yelping and barking, you have to feed it, you have to take it for walks”

“We knew from the people who had the dogs, it really changed their lives,” Helen remarks. “If you have a dog that’s yelping and barking, you have to get up, you have to feed it, you have to take it for walks.

“We had one client who wanted to commit suicide, but didn’t because he knew his Brainy Dog would be alone if he did. That dog saved that person’s life two or three times. It gave him a purpose.”

The staff at Headway Suffolk, where Brainy Dogs is based, find that having the dogs around helps clients, even if they aren’t planning to adopt.

“Emotions are affected by brain injuries,” says Helen. “We had a very

stressed lady with dementia who was getting difficult to contain in the centre, but we took her to the dog room and she calmed down. They’re becoming an important rehab tool as well as companions.

“If we say to clients on a sunny day, ‘Would you like to go for a walk?’ the chances are they’ll say no. But if we say, ‘Would you like to go out with the dogs?’ they want to do it.”

so far, brainy dogs has trained more than 30 pooches and worked with 30 day-release prisoners, supervised by coordinator Sophie Mayes. Each prisoner must apply for a place. They are then taught to train dogs to work with clients.

Stan, 59, a volunteer prisoner, can relate to clients, having suffered a brain injury himself a decade ago. He helps Sophie to train dogs three times a week.

“I’m blessed to be able to come and do this at Brainy Dogs and be cognitive,” he says. “It was awful—I was suicidal, depressed, unmotivated. So when [I meet] people who used to be able to go and play golf but can’t walk without tremendous pain, I understand that.

“You can’t fix what’s broken, but if you’re contributing something in some way, you’re giving back. So it’s an emotional and a moral balance.”

Stan goes on to say that without support after prison, ex-offenders can feel alienated from the rest of the

community, which might lead to reoffending.

“It’s a case of, ‘You don’t want me, so it’s no good being good,’ ” he muses. “Brainy Dogs says that you have a value and can contribute in a positive way, so people on our side of the fence feel more inclined to go out and contribute and feel more welcome.

The Reader’s Digest team fundraised for Brainy Dogs earlier this year by taking part in the London to Brighton Walk

Sophie stresses that Stan and his peers are significant parts of the process, adding, “It’s brilliant watching clients interact with the dogs. There was a gentleman who had very poor speech and communication, and he made it clear that he didn’t want to work with the dogs. He didn’t think he’d be able to.

“If I’m able to go away and Sophie says, ‘Stan was worth having,’ I’ve got pride in that—and it’s not easy to obtain pride when you’re constantly judging yourself. I want to get it right.”

“But the dogs work off hand signals, so he didn’t need to speak to them. When he did tricks with the dogs, his face lit up—you could see he was so happy to be on the same level as everybody else.”

for those unabLe to adopt, or in the process of doing so, such as Lea, Sophie takes dogs on home visits. Clients can go for walks, which provide exercise, and Sophie can determine their needs. Some animals, for instance, need to be trained to walk alongside a wheelchair or to jump into a car.

“A dog would give me much more confidence—I could meet more people, have company and a new lease of life,” smiles Lea. “I look out the window where I live and there are always people walking their dogs. I envy them when you see them all in a group having a chat.”

Similarly, Tash, 41, suffers from severe mobility problems as a result of a brain tumour. She sees the dogs at home or at Headway.

“Before I had the dogs [to visit], I didn’t really walk,” she says.

“The first time I ever walked with the dog was about four or five houses. By the fourth week, I was actually walking to the shop.

“I can’t have a dog at home with me because I wouldn’t be able to look after it. I couldn’t walk the animal because of my condition— I’m in a lot of pain—so I had to leave it for a while. But when you’re ready to walk again, you can ask

Brainy Dogs.

“Just seeing the dogs gives you a lift. They’re always happy to see you, which is lovely.”

to make a donation to brainy dogs, visit headwaysuffolk.org.uk or call

01473 712 225

this real 999 call is one of many conundrums operators deal with daily:

Caller: “Hi, I’m having a lot of difficulty breathing. My chest feels really tight and I feel very faint. I might be about to pass out.”

operator: “Can you tell me where you are?”

Caller: “I’m at the pay phone on Steward Street.”

operator: “oK, sir, i’m sending an ambulance to you now. do you have emphysema or asthma?”

Caller: “No.”

operator: “so did the shortness of breath come on suddenly? have you any idea what caused it?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m being chased by the police.”

SOURCE: EXPRESS.CO Uk

By fiona hicks

ComedyClubs

Forget the pub—stand-up comedians are an overlooked option for a rollicking night out

Comedian Matt Kirshenn takes the stage at The Bierkeller, Manchester, as part of Manford’s Comedy Club

➸ Manford’s Comedy Club

naTionWiDE

“I’ve been wondering for a while now why local stand-up comedy isn’t high up on the list of what people think about doing when looking for a great night out?” says Jason Manford.

The comedian has set out to change this, establishing a number of clubs across the country. Jason, of course, has connections, so the big names do pop up. But he’s also

keen to showcase those a few rungs down on the fame ladder.

“There’s a circuit of brilliant comics who haven’t been on telly for a number of reasons,” he says. “I’m going to select some of my favourite comedians from the circuit and send them to a town near you.”

From Blackpool to the Isle of Wight, the clubs endeavour to cater to the community. This month, for example, there’s a show at The Lamproom Theatre in Barnsley, a former Methodist chapel that’s been redeveloped by volunteers.

Whichever comedians are on the bill—big names or up-andcomers—tickets hover around the £12 mark in all locations. ■ for details, visit manfords comedyclub.com

Top left: comedians Duncan Oakley, Tanyalee Davis and Matt Kirshen; (below) an audience at The Bierkeller

Founder Maff Brown still performs at the Outside the Box Comedy Club

Outside The Box Comedy Club

kingsTon, suRREy

Founded by comedian Maff Brown in 2005, the first Kingston club has gradually spread to the rest of the south-west, with venues in Windsor, Basildon and New Malden among several others.

The draw of these clubs, other than their self-professed “warm, friendly and fun vibe”, is that star comedians often use them to test out brandnew material. Even more excitingly,

they’re not always advertised on the bill—partly because these comedians are showcasing work-in-progress, but also because, according to Maff, “It’s nice to have a surprise to boast about the next day in the office!”

Comedy nights run several times a month across all the venues and if you’re one of the first 60 to book in at Kingston, you’ll even be awarded with a seat. What’s more, Maff still pops in to perform.

■ for details, visit outsidethebox comedy.co.uk

Frog and Bucket ManchEsTER

This great institution celebrated its 21st birthday this year. The venue may have moved since its opening (to a former bank on Oldham Street), but the ethos has stayed the same.

“The club has always prided itself of supporting northern acts,” says founder David Perkin. “Comperes are invariably northerners and the club employs northern comedians alongside guest acts.”

Both Peter Kay and Johnny Vegas frequented the club in their early years, and it’s also the site of John Bishop’s first gig. “Without the Frog and Bucket, I wouldn’t be a comedian today,” he points out.

Mondays are the popular “Beat the Frog” night, where newcomers attempt to remain on stage for five minutes without being “croaked off”. ■ for details, visit frogand bucket.com

Milton Jones is one of many star performers to have appeared at Red Card

Red Card Comedy Club noRWich

Running for more than a decade, Red Card puts on monthly events at the Norwich City Football Club, Carrow Road. Red Card’s core comedy belief, says director Derek Roberston, is that “traditions should be upheld…we run our club in the proper way.”

This means that there are three solid acts, plus a comic compere, with the crucial break for a trip to the loo and/or bar between each.

Red Card has developed enough clout over the years to attract some star performers, with Michael McIntyre, Micky Flanagan and Terry Alderton all having graced the stage. And despite the impressive venue and increasingly starry line-ups, tickets for a night remain a paltry £12.

For this reason, it’s worth booking well in advance—before the rest of Norwich snaps them up.

■ for details, visit redcard comedyclub.com

Cotswold Comedy Club

chiPPing noRTon

The chocolate-box streets of the Cotswolds aren’t the first thing you associate with riotous comedy, but friends Dave Arnold and Ken Normal set out to change this in 2011.

The sporadic nights, which run mainly at The Theatre in Chipping Norton or The Rye Hill Golf Club in Milcombe (with the odd cameo at The Sun Inn in Hook Norton) feature established and newer comics, with an open mic at Chipping Norton for amateurs. But beware: the cheeky crowds have been known to “Baaaaa” at comedians in place of heckling.

The founders also sportingly direct punters to Creative Cows, which runs regular nights in Chipping Campden. “We don’t hold a monopoly on Cotswolds comedy,” they say. All the same, it’s a fantastic place to start.

■ for details, visit cotswold comedyclub.com

The Stand

EDinBuRgh

There are three branches of this club (Edinburgh, Glasgow and Newcastle), but our favourite is the one in the Scottish capital. The unassuming entrance on York Place leads to a basement space that’s always buzzing —the sound of belly laughs is often detectable in the streets above.

Comedy here runs seven nights a week, and regularly plays host to the stars of the circuit—Ross Noble, Frankie Boyle and Sarah Millican have all appeared. It’s worth investing in membership (for a very reasonable £15 per year), which enables you to have first dibs on tickets.

The food is an unexpected bonus too: a hearty burger, macaroni cheese or sausage and mash can be enjoyed for not much more than a tenner.

■ for details, visit thestand.co.uk

© Chris sC ott

The Boat Show Comedy Club

LonDon

There are lots of places to see comedy in London, but only one place to see it on a boat. The Tattershall Castle, moored on the Embankment, is a refurbished paddle steamer that now sports theatre-style seating and four well-stocked bars.

Shows run on the weekends and Monday nights, and it’s possible to buy a standing ticket for a mere £10. Each night brings together four acts, and if you don’t want the fun to stop, the venue turns into a nightclub after the show ends—all included in your ticket price. If it’s your birthday, they’ll even treat you to a drink on the house.

■ for details, visit boatshow comedy.co.uk

Do you know a venue with guaranteed chortles? Email readersletters@readers digest.co.uk and let us know

Sponsored by

Family Holiday Competition

Photo Winners!

Photographer James Eckersley selects the very best entries from our readers

our task really wasn’t easy. You sent us hundreds of holiday pictures, depicting families in every possible location and scenario. But after much agonising, our judge James Eckersley (left) managed to pick a winner and two runners-up in each category. Here are the final choices, along with comments from both photographer and judge. Many thanks for all your entries!

Adults winner

Joy Salt from Worcestershire

We visit Scotland every year for our holidays and we love the great outdoors. We try to get our children out walking and cycling as much as possible (sometimes it takes a bit of persuasion). The photo was taken on a walk from Glen Brittle on the Isle of Skye up to Coire Lagan in The Cuillin. They were dancing around on the rocks at the top, and with the mist in the background it looked very dramatic. I think I

managed to catch them at just the right moment.

What our judge said: This is shot with great skill and technical knowhow. All of the elements come together beautifully—the lighting, composition and timing are all perfect. It’s such a joyous image full of life and energy. I was so impressed with the standard of many of the competition entries, but for me this image stood out immediately for its beauty and meaning. A truly memorable and worthy winner.

Adults runner-up

Elizabeth Meikle from Ayrshire

On this particular evening our girls, aged 12 and nine, had a rare sisterly moment that I managed to capture on my iPhone. I love the way they look extra tall and grown-up because of their reflections.

What our judge said: The rich colours and striking cloud formations, mirrored perfectly in the wet sand, give such a strong atmosphere to the photograph. Further enhanced by the silhouetted figures seen admiring the spectacle, this becomes a beautiful and dramatic shot.

Adults runner-up

Siobhan

Watson from Northamptonshire

I feel this photo caught a wonderful moment of my parents on a holiday walk, happy and in love.

What our judge said: With a strong use of colour and an unusual composition, the viewer is invited to search for the meaning of this evocative image.

Under-18s winner

Abraham Smith, 15, from Staffordshire

My picture was taken in Nefyn, a small holiday village on the Llyn peninsula in North Wales. My family and I were walking along the coastal path, trying to make the most of the miserable British weather.

The natural archway gave a moment of much-welcomed shelter.

What our judge said:

This is such a great shot of a great British holiday! A well-executed and

well-thought-through photograph. There’s a really effective use of depth of field and the framing is perfect. The subtle use of colour and tone further add to the effect, and I really admire the way the photograph depicts a seemingly ordinary subject —one that we’ve probably all experienced—but still manages to draw us in. It’s atmospheric and rather mysterious.

It also makes me smile to remember similar rainy scenes from dozens of my own family holidays over the years!

Under-18s runner-up

Joshua Beesley, 11, from Kent

I wanted to take a photo of my family enjoying summer. When they were eating ice cream, I got them to lie down so I could get an interesting picture of them.

What our judge said:

Under-18s runner-up

Holly Bowyer, 15, from Bedfordshire

We aren’t your usual family! We were playing a game of bowls and we came up with the idea of taking a selfie in one, and this is what came out. This picture includes me, my little sister and my mum and dad on a beach in Overstrand, Cromer.

What our judge said:

This is a very unusual photograph that captures the holiday scene with great fun and imagination. The close crop and dramatic composition works really well, and leads our eye around the various elements of the image. A really good shot that’s creative and inspiring.

Although clearly staged, this holiday photograph has maintained a very natural and relaxed feel to it. The essential elements are there

for a really memorable shot, with a clever composition and camera angle. I like how the reflection of the photographer is just visible in one pair of sunglasses.

The Prizes

Our Under-18s winner Abraham Smith will receive £400 to spend as he chooses. He may wish to put it towards a holiday, which is exactly what Adults-category winner Joy Salt will soon be enjoying. Joy can choose between a pair of holidays for two, courtesy of our sponsor A Secret Turkey. The first is the Magnificent Turkey tour, which includes journeys to Istanbul, Gallipoli and Troy, plus trips to hot springs, a waterfall and the “Turkish Riviera”.

The Hidden Treasures tour is the second luxurious holiday choice, where visitors experience a glassbottomed boat excursion, wine tasting and a Daylan-River cruise, plus journeys to Myra, Ephesus and the city of Pammukkale. Both holidays include seven nights’ accommodation in five-star hotels.

For more information on these holidays and other tours, visit asecretturkey.com

Stuart Maconie is a TV and radio presenter, journalist, columnist, author and one of the UK’s best-selling travel writers. He lives in Birmingham and is happiest when fell-walking with his dog

If I Ruled the World Stuart Maconie

I’d make cycling on the pavement punishable with a citizen’s arrest. It absolutely infuriates me when I see strapping blokes with all the gear knocking over old ladies on the pavement. I tried cycling once or twice and realised I wasn’t good enough, so I stopped. If you can’t handle the road then walk or get the bus.

There’d be no more rolling 24-hour news coverage. When I was a kid, the news came on about three times a day for 15 minutes. You weren’t bombarded with all this jabber and speculation now reported as news. When newscasters say “there’s been an outraged reaction” to someone’s speech, what they’re really saying is, “We’ve reported it as an outraged reaction to make it sound more dramatic.”

I’d nationalise the banks. We’d no longer be at the whim of speculators out to make a fast buck for themselves. All their bonuses and ridiculous pay

packets would be ploughed back into the national coffers. I think it’s extraordinary that the people who brought the world’s economy to its knees are still pretty much carrying on as normal while the poorest have had to foot the bill for their greed.

I’d make train travel free. I’d use some of the profits from the banks and put higher taxes on aviation fuel. It would be transformative because it’d encourage people to get out and about more, have more holidays at home and so boost the economy and make the commute to work a lot less painful. There would be fewer cars and more money in people’s pockets.

Politicians would have to prove they’d had proper jobs before being allowed into government. It’s been a very long time since I claimed any benefits, but when I did I had to show I’d contributed at least 12 months of National Insurance payments before I was entitled to assistance. I’d have a similar kind of scheme for politicians to prove they’d had a proper job before running our countries. And when I say a “proper job”, I mean one that gives you an understanding of how ordinary people live.

I’d introduce a language law. Then people who should know better, like journalists and presenters, would have to make sure they were using words correctly. Recently I heard a reporter

on the radio saying there were places where vaping [smoking e-cigarettes] could be done “legitimately”. I thought, You don’t mean legitimately, you mean legally and that’s a totally different word.

I’d encourage children to take a walk around the neighbourhood. I recently heard of a school that introduced a daily mile-long walk for all their pupils, and teachers said it had made them a lot more focused in class. It might also show our children that there’s a lot of benefit and enjoyment to be had by simply walking around outside.

It would be compulsory to like different music to your mum and dad. There’s a worrying trend these days of parents dressing their kids in Joy Division t-shirts and of lads and dads going to Noel Gallagher gigs together. That’s all so wrong. If my dad had come into my room when I was a teenager and said, “Ah, you’re listening to The Clash, I really like this,” I’d have thought it was seriously weird. Parents are supposed to say, “What’s this rubbish you’re listening to?” Kids should rebel against their parents—that’s the great engine that drives cultural change. As told to Caroline Hutton

Stuart’s latest book The Pie at Night is out now in hardback, published by Ebury Press

The

Rock Among The Waves

Rugged, mystical and enchantingly secluded—the Greek island of Monemvasia has it all and more

by Madeleine Janssen

Parts of the old town are navigable only on foot; (opposite) the clear waters of the Sea of Crete invite a swim

The lower part of the island town of Monemvasia is the domain of spotted and striped beasts. Dozens of stray cats pad along the stone alleys and sidle through narrow flights of steps between the houses.

The aroma of fried saganaki cheese and fresh herbs wafts out of the tavernas, where the cats gather in hope of scrounging a bite to eat. Occasionally, a tourist throws them a morsel, smiling at how cute and cuddly they are, while genial waiters drop leftovers on the ground. But only Soula Kastanias comes here specially to feed them.

Monemvasia is situated at the southern tip of the Peloponnese peninsula in Greece. Once you have finally arrived there after journeying down the endlessly zig-zagging, rocky mountain roads, it’s easy to fall in love with this mystical lump of rock in the sea. The locals call it Kastro (the fortress). For 1,400 years its walls have enclosed an entire town that, at different times in history, would ward off attacks from the Normans, Arabs, Ottomans and Franks and defend the important sea route between Venice and Constantinople.

“It’s dIfferent here, so peaceful and romantIc,” she says, speakIng of the fortress town

Hordes of cats now lounge around on the ground. “Come along, then!” calls Kastanias. She scatters dry cat food at the corners of the houses from the bag tucked under her arm. Kastanias, 45, is an animal-welfare worker who cares for injured and stray cats and dogs in the historical region of Laconia, to which Monemvasia belongs.

It’s been a settlement for centuries. The name Monemvasia is derived from the Greek for “single entrance”. Tradesmen started coming here as long ago as the 12th century. They would load olive oil and wine onto the ships moored at Monemvasia’s harbour before setting sail for Western Europe.

at her animal refuge ten minutes north of the town centre, she and her assistants look after more than 600 stray dogs. She hasn’t yet been able to take the cats in—she has neither the money nor the space. In Greece, animal welfare is largely a matter for private volunteers.

But Kastanias really loves what she does. “It’s different here, so peaceful and romantic”, she says, speaking of the fortress town. Whenever she can, she prefers to walk across the

The splendid view of the walled town of Monemvasia below and the Sea of Crete is worth the sweaty climb up to the old citadel, 330 feet above sea level

440-foot-long causeway that connects Monemvasia to the mainland village of Gefyra. If she’s feeling lazy, she hops on the bus that shuttles back and forth every ten minutes.

Once she has finished her cat round, she likes nothing better than to climb up to the Matoula restaurant where she can feel the wind blowing through her blonde hair and order a plate of meze and a glass of white wine. Matoula is Monemvasia’s oldest restaurant—it was first opened by the

Mone M vasia GREECE athens

grandmother of current proprietor, Venetia Abertos. From the terrace, guests can enjoy views over the sea some 110 feet below.

You shouldn’t visit the upper town unless you have a head for heights. There’s just one narrow path leading up to the old citadel, perched 330 feet above sea level on Monemvasia’s high

plateau. In the middle ages, the citadel contained a cornfield and cisterns for collecting and storing water. This was enough to support around 30 people during a lengthy siege—and some people stubbornly continued farming there until 100 years ago. Today, a handful of people still make their home on this rocky outcrop.

To be honest, the medieval town is so charming that the mainland seems rather uninspiring by comparison. But only at first sight. The Laconia region has its fair share of hidden treasures— including Kastania Cave, which is an hour’s drive to the south of Monemvasia. According to Greek mythology, the cave was home to Hades, god of the underworld.

The more energetic traveller will enjoy the steep limestone rock faces and network of signposted trails in the Cape Maleas-Zobolo rock climbing area. With its remote stalagmite caves, deep rock crevices and nearby sandy beaches for chilling out after a hard day’s climbing, there’s certainly plenty of variety in the region around the jewel that is Monemvasia.

But Kastanias rarely ventures that far afield. “On a Sunday afternoon, I like to take one of my seven dogs for a walk”, she says. They will happily wander together for hours through the Mediterranean countryside behind her house, with its lemon and orange groves and herds of goats.

Afterwards, she might stroll down travel tips

LODGING

Hotel Ardamis: a stone-built house with ten suites. double rooms from 75 euros, including breakfast. Castle of Monemvasia (+30-273 20-618 87; ardamis.gr).

Kinsterna Hotel & Spa: a luxury hotel with a spa, ten minutes from Monemvasia. double rooms from 180 euros (+30-273 20-663 00; kinsternahotel.gr).

DINING

Matoula: these filo-pastry cheese pies are a must! Castle of Monemvasia (+30-273 20-616 60).

Akrogiali taverna: an extensive meze menu (example dishes include stuffed courgette flowers, potato pie and peppers stuffed with minced meat). Main Street, Monemvasia (+30-273 20-610 56).

Café & Bar Di Porto: excellent coffee and cinnamon cookies by the fishing harbour. Gefyra (+30-273 20-616 25).

WHAT TO SEE AND DO

Kastania Cave: two levels of rock formations. you may see cave crickets.

Elafonisos Beach: ferries to the island run every half hour from punta. Hike to the old watchtower. Take trail d 11 from Velanidia (visitvatika.gr).

to Gefyra harbour. There, she may treat herself to a sugar-dusted almondcrescent biscuit from the Café Colonis and find a nice sunny spot in the fishing harbour to sit and eat it. The region is famous for its almond cookies (known as amygdalota). “The owners of the Colonis even export them to Australia,” she says.

For those summer days when the temperature can soar to 40 degrees, Kastanias has a final recommendation —a refreshing dip in the sea. There are plenty of steps around the coast to climb down, and you can swim right around the rock if the mood takes you. “Make sure you don’t get a fright if you happen to come across a turtle”, says Kastanias. “They’re everywhere!”

Animal-welfare worker Soula Kastanias takes a stroll in the orange grove behind her house

F irst - date F ails

The mobile app Tinder has revolutionised the way we meet and date, but first encounters aren’t always the stuff of dreams.

“Perfectly nice date, but 20 minutes into it, she says, ‘I’ll be honest. I know what I need in a man, and you don’t have it.’ ”

“We met for a coffee after having quite a nice chat on Tinder for a few days. He sits down and says, ‘Hi, nice to meet you’, then pulls out his laptop and continues to sit there in complete silence for the next hour.”

“We arrange to meet in a cafe, and I arrive to find her there early. I order my drink and sit down. She looks at me before saying her opening line, ‘Let’s cut to the chase, I need a father for my four sons.’ ”

SOURCE: HUffInGtOnPOSt.CO.UK

Live the High Life

on the stunning Greek island of Santorini

ALMOST ANY SANTORINI HOTEL

WORTH ITS SALT is set on a hillside, but the Grace is glidingly high, cascading down a steep terraced cliffside and looking out at the sparkling Aegean and Cyclades Islands.

The view is of course the main attraction – the infinity pool is nothing short of sublime - but the rooms are just as likely to catch your breath. Even the basic rooms are generously sized and more often than not come with private plunge pools. All rooms feature luxurious bed linen, pillow menus, Apivita bathroom amenities and stunning views of Santorini’s coastline and magical sunsets.

Dining is at the Grace Santorini’s beautiful restaurant, which offers

perfect Mediterranean fusion cuisine and the chance to enjoy champagne breakfasts each morning in what Condé Nast Traveller’s Gold List has called the ‘Best Location in Europe’. The hillside location is typical of many hotels in Santorini, but the sea views from the Grace are spectacular.

There’s also a lovely pool-side bar serving a delightful range of drinks, including the signature Grace cocktail, a colourful concoction of bold summer fruit flavours blending apple juice, pear puree, lemon juice, premium vodka and a hint of lemon grass. Additional facilities include a fitness centre and treatment room, meaning it’s easy to spend your whole stay within the Grace’s clean-lined modernist walls.

OFFER

DETAILS:

■ Stay 7 nights, pay for 6

■ Prices from: £1,265 per person

Should you wish to venture out though - and to be honest you probably should - the friendly staff will be happy to arrange speedboat trips, horse riding and trekking, sightseeing and even aerial tours of the island.

■ Save up to: £400 per couple

Please call 0207 664 2273 for further details or visit wexas.com

The 5,895m-tall mountain plays host to 35,000 climbers each year

By Catherine Cole

My Great Escape: Climbing Kilimanjaro

Dhru Shah climbs one of the world’s highest mountains as a birthday treat

Catherine has danced in Rio, been microlighting in South Africa and hiked the mountains of Oman

Tell us about your favourite holiday (send a photo too) and if we include it on this page we’ll pay you £50. Go to readersdigest. co.uk/contact-us

To celebraT e my 50T h birT hday, I wanted to climb Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. At 5,895m tall, it’s Africa’s highest mountain. After flying to Nairobi, Kenya, we started the long-awaited climb on December 21 last year. There were eight of us in our group, including my wife and our 13-year-old daughter Maya.

Our first day climbing started from the Marangu Gate, which is the official start and end point of the climb. From here we followed a 1,000m track through forest to the Scandinavian-style Mandara Huts. We spotted several species of monkey in the trees—the black-and-white colobus and the indigenous blue monkey—which made it feel like a minisafari as well as a climb.

The next day dawned, and the group took the seven-hour route up to the Horombo ridge. At 3,720m high, we stayed here an extra day to acclimatise and rest up.

On Christmas Eve, we set off through vegetation featuring giant senecios plants and lobelias, which changed to highland desert on the infamous Kilimanjaro “saddle”— a moon-like landscape. After seven hours of climbing,

© Ulrich Doering/Al A my

altitude sickness started slowing us down, and we finally reached Kibo— 4,720m above sea level.

On the stroke of midnight on Christmas Day, Maya and four others set off from the hut in Kibo to climb to Uhuru, the peak of Kilimanjaro. Unfortunately, altitude sickness took its toll and in the end only one of them managed to reach the top (Maya is already planning a return visit). But even from the Kibo hut, we saw magnificent views and a superb sunrise, which was undoubtedly the best part of the trip.

■ treK to the toP

Intrepid Travel offers an eight-day, Kilimanjaro-Rongai Route trek starting from £1,755pp (0808 274 5111; intrepidtravel.com).

Postcard From... Santorini

l ook behind Greece’s recen T financial T roubles and you’ll find a country full of fantastic local food, history at every turn and stunning natural scenery. The Greek islands are especially picturesque— and they don’t come much better than Santorini.

The island is a caldera, meaning there are plenty of craters and lagoons dotted around to explore. By this time of year the mercury has started to sink, giving way to warm days and nights.

Spend days relaxing in the aquamarine Aegean Sea, or discovering the white-and-blue town of Oia. It’s one of those places that really does look just as good in real life as it does on a postcard.

■

iSland eSCaPe

For details on Santorini and holidays in Greece, visit discovergreece.com

Things To Do This Month

Munich in two Minutes

■ do: o k T oberfesT

Kicking off at the end of September, Oktoberfest is Europe’s biggest festival dedicated to beer. Over two weeks, the city lets its hair down with huge beer tents, traditional food and a real party atmosphere (oktoberfest.de).

■ sTay: mandarin orienTal

Found in a neo-classical building in Munich’s old town, this elegant hotel is helpfully close to many of the Oktoberfest celebrations. A new restaurant, Matsuhisa Munich, opened last month from the eponymous Japanese chef. Rooms start from €661 per night (+49 (89) 290 980; mandarinoriental.com).

■ s ee: m unich Town h all Munich’s crowning glory is its vast, gothic town hall, which monopolises the surrounding Marienplatz. Come at 11am to see the daily glockenspiel attraction (muenchen.de).

s hort/long haul: ski breaks

Short: davos, s wi T zerland

This high-altitude resort offers 200 miles of varied skiing for all abilities. Seven nights from December 27 at the Ameron Mountain Hotel cost from £2,559pp on a B&B basis (020 8246 5300; powderbyrne.com).

Long: n iseko, Japan

Niseko, on the Japanese island of Hokkaido, is famed for its powdery snow, long runs and some of the best backcountry in the world. There are even hot springs to enjoy after skiing.

Seven nights at the Kasara Niseko Village Townhouse start from £1,755pp (01273 224060; skisafari.com).

travel aPP of the month

Tripr ios, free, android. This connects like-minded travellers in the same place at the same time, which means you can benefit from some local knowhow (tripapp.com).

Whether you’re away for the weekend, off to work or out shopping, make sure you travel in style with this 4 piece luggage set.

Plans for a Care Fees Cap “abandoned”

New regulations, planned for April 2016 and intended to limit an individual’s exposure to the cost of requiring long-term care at £72,000, have now been delayed until at least 2020

THE CURRENT SYSTEM

Under current rules, now applicable until at least 2020, if you require residential care later in life, a Local Authority means-test assessment will be conducted to assess your ability to pay for that care. Both your income and capital assets that are not subject to a disregard will be included in the assessment, with many homeowners exceeding the limit of £23,250 in assets and therefore being held responsible for the funding in full. At a cost

THIS IS ABANDONMENT, NOT A DELAY. IT WOULD BE NAIVETY IN THE EXTREME TO REGARD THIS AS A DELAY

NORMAN LAMB, former Care Minister

of £30,000£50,000+ per annum and a prediction that 1 in 10 of the adult population will suffer care costs of more than £100,000, many feel these rules are unfair, and would prefer to arrange their legal affairs in such a way that benefits their children instead.

USING A TRUST COULD HELP PROTECT YOUR HARD-EARNED WEALTH

Trusts aren’t just for the rich and

famous, they are used every day to protect the home and savings of ordinary people, allowing them to provide for future generations. As a legal entity that can own assets, just like an individual or a company, a Trust is often likened to a security deposit box. The creator chooses the key holders (the Trustees) and creates the rules under which they can access and manage the assets held within. A Trust is a flexible way of protecting assets for your bloodline from many of the threats to a family’s wealth, but must be created at a time when you cannot foresee the need to receive care and support. Designed to meet your unique circumstances and objectives, a Trust should be a bespoke solution which requires specialist advice. Reader’s Digest Legal has been established to bring accessible and affordable legal services to you in the comfort and privacy of your own home, with specialist advice available from our partners at Collective Legal Solutions.

WHAT NEXT?

If you would like to find out more about Reader’s Digest Legal and what steps you could take to protect your home and savings, request your free information pack by calling 0800 031 9516 and quoting reference RDL6.

Reader’s Digest Legal is a service provided by the Collective Legal Solutions Group.

“No child should witNess this”

A former “adrenaline junkie” from Kent, Sam Wood swapped boxing for saving lives in the Gaza Strip

words and photographs

by Craig s tennett

Save the Children’s Sam Wood visits a bombed and ruined day centre for children in Gaza

“it should only cost you three shekels, sam. don’t pay any more than that.” Osama Damo, the communications manager for Save the Children in Gaza, is shouting into his mobile. He’s advising his new boss Sam Wood on the taxi ride for the last leg of his journey, crossing the Palestinian Authority checkpoint and onto the Hamas frontier control for the final entrance into the Gaza Strip.

Born and brought up in Tunbridge Wells, Sam Wood is Save the Children’s new director of programme operations for the occupied Palestinian territory. He’s tasked with administering an annual £10m aid budget and ensuring a smooth run for the many projects this British-inaugurated charity has in operation in the West Bank and Gaza Strip.

At 34, Sam cuts a calm and assured presence. He already has an impressive portfolio from over a decade of previous postings with Save the Children and other international aid organisations. Major trouble spots such as Yemen, South Sudan and Syria—to name just a few—are under his belt, making him no stranger to the world’s more exotic locations.

Sam identifies his background as an amateur boxer as a good foundation for the demanding life he’s chosen. “I was a keen boxer from 15 onwards, and I’ve always felt that it instilled in me the values of discipline, application and hard work.

“There are times in my job when you almost have no energy left, mentally or physically, but you have to keep going

and push on through to the end. Boxing taught me that, even when you feel you have nothing left to give, you have to dig deeper to accomplish things.”

on this whirlwind two-day visit to the Gaza Strip, Sam will need to remember all these early lessons in life in order to hit the ground running. Osama briefly updates him as they settle into their car seats.

“It’s Right to Live first, Sam. It’s a day centre for Down’s syndrome children in Gaza, which was hit in the last war. Then we’ll visit the community offices for psychological and social support for mothers and children suffering from trauma in East Jabalya. They’re both our partner organisations here in Gaza, and we have aid programmes running with them. Then we need to do a tour of Shujaia [the most heavily bombed area during Israel’s Operation Protective Edge last year]. You really need to see the place, Sam.”

This is just the morning’s itinerary, and it’s already past 9.30am.

Driving off from Erez, they take the Eastern Road skirting around the boundaries of Gaza City to their west. Entering the compound of the Right

to Live association, they are greeted by Ahmad al Helou, manager of the day centre. He shows Sam the bomb damage their building received from last year’s conflict in Gaza, and updates him on how the organisation—which is receiving aid for a medical laboratory within its grounds—is coping.

Sam Wood surveys Right to Live’s destroyed classrooms

Sam makes his way through the upper levels of the site, silently soaking in the extent of the destruction. He passes kitchens, classrooms and a library that have been extensively damaged, toys and books still littering the floor.

“Has it been screened?” asks Sam as he enters a shattered classroom and makes his way through the debris. His question refers to the UN Mine Action Service, which is tasked with checking bombed buildings to ensure that no unexploded ordnance remains. If they have given the place the “all clear”, it’ll be safe for him to enter.

“It’s clear, Sam,” Osama reassuringly replies. A few solemn minutes pass as

The day centre, giving educational and physiotherapeutic support to 400 children and 100 young adults with Down’s syndrome, has managed to get back on its feet swiftly. Director Ahmad al Helou says that the students and staff themselves undertook reconstruction work on the lower levels, with materials they had to hand.

The mood begins to lighten as they make their way to the temporary classrooms and enter a physio room. Here, two-and-a-half-year-old toddler Arwa

Nairab is making great progress from crawling to walking, being encouraged by the staff. Sam exchanges several questions with them. One symptom of Down’s syndrome is that the usual developmental milestones are delayed, so he’s visibly touched by the young girl’s efforts to walk and her tenacity.

leaving right to live, Sam and Osama travel to Eastern Shujaia to visit the Takween Community Organisation with its programme workshops of Life and Hope, helping mothers and children deal with the trauma produced by 51 days of round-the-clock bombing. Coping skills are also taught to alleviate the general stress of family life under conditions of only four to six hours of electricity a day and unsanitary or nonexistent water supplies. Living under an ongoing blockade—imposed on the Gaza Strip in 2007—further ratchets up the psychological pressure on individuals and families.

Pierre Krahenbuhl, commissionergeneral for the UN Relief and Works Agency for Palestine, aptly describes the situation on the ground in Gaza: “Hundreds of thousands of children are deep in trauma. We estimate that, of the 3,000 children injured, 1,000 will have disabilities for life.” He goes on to say that the level of destruction was “unprecedented in the agency’s 64-year history in Gaza”.

The UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs published a report covering the period from late

August through to September 4 last year. It further explains the difficulties on the ground and highlights the problem caused by these hostilities: “[We estimate] around 108,000 Palestinians lost their homes or had them severely damaged. Only ten per cent of Gaza’s population gets water once a day. Electricity is spotty at best. Eighteen-hour outages continue in most areas.”

Endeavouring to be an antidote to some of Gaza’s problems is Raja Abu Shammalla, a young Palestinian whose husband was killed during the bombing. She’s one of a handful of trained counselling staff, supported by Save

“You can look in resignation at what’s happening, or it can spur You to make a change for the better”

the Children, who organise workshops to overcome conflict-induced psychological problems.

Role playing sometimes helps with troubled situations. Balloons are blown up until they pop, as a symbolic way of releasing anger and tension. The popping brings a discernable change of atmosphere in the room, and laughter spreads among the group of women as the balloons start to burst. The sessions

in the community building are split between children and mothers, modifying the treatment for each separate group.

Left: Raja Abu Shammalla leads counselling sessions designed to counter psychological problems resulting from life in the Gaza Strip; (below) Sam is greeted by Palestinian children as he enters a community centre

after farewells to the staff, Sam and Osama drive through the remains of Shujaia. This town has the unenviable distinction of being the hardest hit area in the Gaza Strip during last year’s hostilities.

“You can’t find a building, wall or door without some kind of bullet, shrapnel or hole in it,” says Sam, while Osama adds, “No child should be born to witness this.”

They pull up at an intersection between collapsed residential buildings and are greeted by 65-year-old Salem Ejah. A native of Shujaia, he now lives in a tiny shack made of wood and

corrugated iron opposite where his house once stood. Sam surveys the destruction and conveys his sympathy for Salem’s situation.

The programmes Save the Children have running in Shujaia are concerned mainly with drinking-water distribution and the delivery of desalination units to Kinder Gardens. But the muchneeded rebuilding of the destroyed area is on hold, as very limited quantities of reconstruction materials are being allowed into the Strip at present. The residents must just wait and hope the situation changes.

Later in the day, over lunch at the

Palmeera restaurant on Wahda Street in Gaza City, Sam discusses his life as an international aid worker in more depth. Being married for three years to Alison, a fellow aid worker he met in South Sudan, has been a definite advantage for his chosen career.

“Having a wife that works in the same sector is a plus, especially with all the travelling I’ve had to do,” Sam admits. “It would be very difficult for anyone else outside of aid work to be so understanding.”

The position he holds for Save the Children in Ramallah is described by the organisation as a “family posting”. According to Sam, Ramallah is “one of the most stable areas in the occupied Palestinian territory”. This is important,

Below: Local Salem Ejah outside his dilapidated shack in Shujaiya; (bottom) Sam looks over the most heavily bombed district in Gaza

marriage and fatherhood have certainly mellowed Sam’s high-octane lifestyle. “When I was in my twenties, I worked as a trekking guide in various mountain regions . In my holidays, I travelled twice alone through the frontier tribal areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan. I’d drink tea with local Pashtun tribesmen; the last time they’d had an Englishman among them was during the First Anglo-Afghan war of 1839, when we had canons pulled by Indian elephants.

“I think I was a bit of an adrenaline junkie back then. But during my travels and work, I’ve seen a lot of poverty and hardship. You can look in resignation

at what’s happening, or it can spur you to make a change for the better.”

The challenges Save the Children and its staff face can seem overwhelming to an outsider. In 2013, the organisation estimates it helped 15.4 million children around the world, dealing with circumstances such as war zones, famine and natural disasters. When I ask about the dangers, Sam pauses before giving a considered reply.

“I’m told that the leading cause of injury or death to aid workers is road traffic accidents. It’s not kidnapping, beheading or being shot, as many might assume. I like to keep this in mind when I’m out in the field.” as Sam and his wife have just had a new addition to their family—Maya, an 11-week-old baby girl.

to support save the Children’s work in helping children in emergencies, visit savethechildren.org.uk/cef

try and try again

Success rarely comes easy, as these famous figures prove: early on in his career, walt Disney was fired by his editor because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas”.

After his first audition, sidney poitier was told, “Why don’t you stop wasting people’s time and go out and become a dishwasher or something?”

charles Darwin admitted, “i was considered by all my masters and my father, a very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard of intellect.”

the testing director of MGM made the following notes on fred astaire: “can’t act. can’t sing. Slightly bald. can dance a little.”

As a child, thomas edison was told he was “too stupid to learn anything”.

source: onlinecollege.org

Insurance and Assurance for Seasoned Drivers

THERE ARE NOW A RECORD NUMBER OF PEOPLE – more than 4 million - over the age of 70 who hold valid driving licenses. e number is set to double inside the next five years, as the generation of baby boomers reaches 70.

Many drivers over the age of 70 have seen their insurance premiums increase significantly in recent years, with premium increases of over 300% not uncommon.

Insurers have stated premiums have increased as a result of a high number of accidents occurring with drivers over the age of 70 involved.

number of motor accidents caused by the over 70s including slower reflexes, deteriorating eyesight, downsizing of car engine and changing from a manual to automatic transmission.

Older drivers can boost their confidence by attending a Mature Driver’s Assessment, run by the Institute of Advanced Motorists

A report released by AA stated that more than 50% of drivers over 75 say they are more cautious compared with when they were 50. Many avoid night driving, motorways and drive more slowly. Older drivers are involved in very few drink-drive or single vehicle accidents, which are much more likely among younger drivers.

At present drivers aged 70 or over are required to renew their driving licence every three years. ey are required to meet the minimum eyesight requirement and declare they are fit to continue driving.

ere are many contributing factors which lead to an increase in the

Reader’s Digest Insurance Services (RDIS) is continuing to investigate the underwriting factors which prevent those over seventy from accessing competitive motor insurance premiums.

One opportunity for older drivers to boost their confidence is by attending a Mature Driver’s Assessment, run by

the Institute of Advanced Motorists. is 60-minute assessment takes place in the driver’s own car on familiar routes near to where they live and can offer reassurance on one’s driving ability. e assessment – which comes with a confidential written report –costs £49. Further details can be found at iam.org.uk

Don’t Disregard Overdraft Costs

It can often feel like free money—but regularly dipping into your overdraft could be costing you more cash than you realised

B Y A N d Y W EBB

Andy Webb is a

money expert at the Money Advice Service. Visit money adviceservice. org.uk

for details

If you’re short of money each month, or not had enough savings to cover an emergency cost, you may have used your overdraft to get by. Yet the cost to use one is on the rise, and those charges can quickly add up.

Here’s how overdrafts work, and how you can keep the cost of using one down.

Fees and charges add to overdraft costs

Whether you’ve agreed you can use an overdraft in advance or go into the red without prior approval, when you spend more money than you have in your bank, you’re borrowing that cash from the bank.

Most of the time this borrowing will cost you money. Interest can be charged against the overdrawn money, though more and more it’ll be a daily, weekly or monthly fee. This includes authorised overdrafts, which are getting more expensive to use.

How much it costs depends on how often you use your overdraft, how much money you borrow and the fees set by your own bank. Banks have different systems—it’s important to know what yours will charge you if you do go overdrawn.

How to keep down costs

If you do find yourself going into your overdraft, here are four quick tips to cut the costs.

1. s et up an authorised overdraft

This will still generally be cheaper than one you haven’t agreed. If you already have an authorised overdraft but you’re still occasionally going over the set amount, see if the bank will increase your limit.

2. move to bank with a cheaper overdraft

Switch your account to a bank with a small, fee-free overdraft or one that charges lower fees. You can do this through the Current Account Switching Service (CASS)—the move takes just seven days and payments in and out are guaranteed for three years.

3. Learn to keep a closer eye on your bank balance

If you don’t realise when you’re going overdrawn, technology can help. Online banking makes it easy to keep track of your bank balance and see when payments such as bills are due to leave your account. Some banks also offer text-message alerts when your balance gets close to zero.

4. find out why you’re going overdrawn

Make a list of everything you spend each month—you’ll probably find there are things that push you into the red that you can go without.

Those NotSo-Special Supermarket Offers

Watch out! Special offers at the supermarket aren’t always what they seem. It doesn’t mean you can’t get better value by taking advantage of discounts and deals—you just need to make sure it really is going to save you money.

Here are some of the “deals” that you should approach with caution.

pricE cuts thAt ArEN’t rEAl cuts

Just because some deals say it costs less than full price, it doesn’t always mean it was on sale at the higher price for long.

Sometimes promotions featuring a “was/now” price-change sticker are more often on sale at the reduced price for longer.

Multi-BuYs MOrE ExpENsivE thAN siNglE purchAsEs

If you need more than one of an item, multi-buys (eg, Buy One Get One Free) can often save you cash.

Be careful though. Some supermarkets have been found to increase the price of one item when

they’re in a promotion and lower it when they’re not. This makes you think you’re saving more than you really are.

There are also examples where multi-buys only save pennies—if anything at all.

BiggEr pAcks MOrE

ExpENsivE thAN sMAllEr

Big “value packs” suggest the best value. Unfortunately, it’s sometimes the case that it’s cheaper to buy the smaller packs.

You might also get caught out by shrinking packaging but prices staying the same, or fruit and vegetables cheaper loose than in packs (and vice versa).

Are You Missing A Pension Boost?

Nearly 200,000 people with caring responsibilities are eligible for a pension credit worth hundreds of pounds each year—yet only one in 20 have signed up.

If you’re caring for someone but not working or claiming other benefits, you’re probably also not making any National Insurance (NI) contributions towards your State Pension.

The Carer’s Credit is designed to help people in this situation. The credits can fill gaps in the State Pension retirement income of anyone who cares for others for 20 hours or more each week, but doesn’t qualify for Carer’s Allowance or receive another benefit. Women and the over-50s represent two-thirds of those eligible.

hOW

hAvE YOu

gOt A spArE rOOM?

If you’re going to reach State Pension age after April 2016, there’s a new system to work out how much you’ll receive. You’ll need to have made NI payments for 35 years to receive the maximum State Pension. So any time out from working or claiming benefits could lower the number of eligible years on your record.

You can request a State Pension statement once you’re over 55 to see how much you’d get.

you can rent out an empty bedroom tax free! at the moment you can receive £4,250 a year, but from next april it jumps up to £7,500 a year.

Ni cONtriButiONs AffEct YOur stAtE pENsiON

ADVERTISEMENT FEATURE

Together we are stronger

One often hears that society today lacks the community spirit of days gone by. Readers’s Digest shows how one of today’s communities has pulled together as a group to help each of the individuals achieve something they could not have done on their own.

THE READER’S DIGEST COMMUNITY

Reader’s Digest has now invited readers to participate in two collective schemes which have helped participants to get a better deal on their home gas and electricity than they would have been able to get on

their own. And the third scheme is now open for readers to join www.readersdigest.co.uk/ collectiveswitch or call 0800 048 8116

TOGETHER WE ARE STRONGER

The scheme works by combining the buying power of all the people who register to encourage the suppliers to compete with their best tariffs in order to win you as a new customer.

AVERAGE SAVING OF £353 ACHIEVED

The savings each of our readers made depends very much on the amount

HOW DOES IT WORK FOR READER’S DIGEST READERS?

STEP 1 Registration: complete your details at www. ReadersDigest.co.uk/collective switch. It only takes a couple of minutes. And it is free to enter.

STEP 2 Auction: we conduct an auction to allow energy suppliers to compete with their best rates for your custom.

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we let you know what the best tariff for you is from the auction and, based on the details you submitted, how much you can save.

STEP 4 Acceptance period: you decide if you want to make the saving by taking up the offer. There is no obligation.

of energy they use and whether they were on a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ deal before switching. The evidence suggests that there are big savings to be made. It is free to join and there is no obligation.

have a recognised body supporting it. It gives you confidence.”

“WHEN THINGS ARE TIGHT, SAVINGS LIKE THESE CAN JUST MAKE LIFE EASIER”

READER SAVES OVER £400

Stuart Cox from Erith, Greater London, is a prison officer who teaches money management to young offenders.

FINDING

THE BEST DEALS… AND KEEPING IT SIMPLE

The Cox family are not planning to splurge their saving. “I don’t see that I will be spending the saving on anything in particular.” And Mr Cox is spreading the word with friends and family to see if they too can save some money on their energy.

Mr Cox had looked on comparison sites but, in his own words, “the deals you get through collective schemes are better than the ones on comparison sites. I get Reader’s Digest anyway and it does help if you

Easy-to-prepare meals and accompanying drinks

Pulled Pork And Coleslaw

By Rachel walke R

Rachel is a food writer and blogs at thefoodieat.org

With h alloW een celebrations on the horizon, it’s useful to have a recipe up your sleeve for feeding a crowd. Pork shoulder has “the perfect ratio”: low-effort, but high-impact. It’s a doddle to make, but it always has people hopping about with excitement.

Pulled pork also has the advantage of being a forgiving recipe. I’ve suggested five hours’ cooking time, but when a big cut is being cooked at 150C, it doesn’t matter if five hours turns into six. So if you get distracted during the witching hour, or diverted by bonfire-building, then it’s not a disaster. The meat will still happily pull off the bone and make a lot of people happy when stuffed in a roll.

Serves 8

• 2 onions, diced

• 4 cloves of garlic, crushed

• 150ml vegetable oil

• 150ml white-wine vinegar

• 400g tin of chopped tomatoes

• 150g brown sugar

• 50ml Lea & Perrins

• 2tsps dried mustard powder

• 3kg pork shoulder, bone in

• 8 buns

For the coleslaw

• ½ white cabbage, finely sliced

• ½ red onion, finely sliced

• 2 carrots, peeled and grated

• 2tbsps plain, unsweetened yogurt

• 1tbsp mayonnaise

• 1tbsp red-wine vinegar

• ½ lemon, juiced

• Salt

• Pepper

1. Fry the onions until they’re soft and translucent. Add the garlic to the pan and cook gently.

2. Next, add the vegetable oil, white wine vinegar, chopped tomatoes, brown sugar, Lea & Perrins and dried mustard powder to the pan.

3. Cool the sauce and marinade the pork shoulder in it overnight.

4. Preheat the oven to 150C. Put the pork in a saucepan or deep tray, pour over the marinade and cover either with a lid or foil. Cook for five hours.

5. Take the pork from the marinade and put it on the hob so the sauce slowly reduces. Meanwhile, slice the top layer of skin from the pork. There’s

lots of flavour in the fat underneath, so it’s a good idea to dice it and add it to the pan of sauce. Of course, if that doesn't appeal then discard.

6. Use two forks to pull the meat from the bone. Discard the bone and return the shredded meat to the sauce.

7. Use a slotted spoon or tongs to lift the meat from the pan and put a generous amount into each bun.

8. For the coleslaw, mix the yogurt, mayonnaise, red-wine vinegar and lemon in a cup. Put the cabbage, onion and carrots in a mixing bowl, and pour the sauce over it. Mix until everything is combined, then season with salt and pepper.

Autumnal Flavours

apples, damsons, blackberries, sloes, plums, figs—it’s naughty to have favourite seasons, but autumn is mine. The laden hedgerows are ripe for the picking, which is a signal for cocktail enthusiasts to start rustling up flavoured syrups, purées and elaborate garnishes.

There’s good news for those who enjoy plummy autumnal flavours, but who don’t have the stamina to start from scratch— it’s the ever-expanding range of flavoured spirits and syrups on the market. I’ll happily admit that Chase’s sloe gin is better than

anything I’ve ever brewed at home. Sipsmith’s sloe gin and damson vodkas are also great examples—not too sweet and delicious sipped neat, or added to a glass of Prosecco. The ever-expanding Monin sugar syrups, used to sweeten and flavour cocktails, open up a world of inspiration too.

■ Chase Sloe and Mulberry Gin, £26.50/50cl

■ Sipsmith Damson Vodka Liqueur, The whisky exchange, £24.25/50cl

■ Fig syrup, Monin, cream Supplies, £5.99/70cl)

■ Wooden muddler, Drinkstuff, £1.99

auTuMn heDgeRow ingReDienTS

These have so many uses in the kitchen aside from cocktails. Use a little artistry to create a seasonal cheeseboard.

Pick fresh fig leaves and use them to cover a wooden board before arranging the cheeses on top. Fresh figs go particularly well with roquefort. an apple or pear compote is also delicious with blue cheeses, especially with a few walnuts or pecans, while a sharp blackberry really cuts through a brie or Camembert and goes well with goats’ cheese. Quinces start appearing round this time of year as well, and a quince paste or membrillo is traditionally partnered with manchego.

Simple Cocktails

damson cocktail

• 25ml damson vodka

• Prosecco

Pour the damson vodka into a champagne flute and top up with cold prosecco. For a lessalcoholic version, use a sweetened sloe or damson purée instead of damson vodka.

apple cocktail

• 40ml bourbon

• 80ml apple cider, chilled

• 80ml ginger beer, chilled

• Garnish: rosemary and thin apple slices

Mix the bourbon, cider and ginger beer, and pour into a glass filled with ice cubes. Garnish with a sprig of rosemary and optional apple slices.

blackberry cocktail

• 4 blackberries

• 4 mint leaves

• 15ml sugar syrup

• 60ml gin

• Ice cubes

• Tonic water

Use a wooden muddler to crush the blackberries, mint leaves and sugar syrup at the bottom of a glass. Add gin and ice cubes, then top up with tonic water.

Make Mine a Martini, £14.99, Mitchell Beazley. From learning the basics to classic cocktails and food for a cocktail party.

BuDgeT

kilner handled jars, £3.50, Ocado. For an authentic, artsy cocktail vibe.

Blow-ouT

s odastream red source drinksmaker, £84.99, Argos. Perfect for alcoholic and nonalcoholic cocktails alike.

By Lynda C L ark

Lynda Clark is a homes, property and interiors expert, and is editor of First Time Buyer magazine

Dark Tones And Dramatic Rooms

This au Tumn, Think of a jewel box of richly decadenT fabrics teamed with lovely embroidered prints to add drama to any room. Take a spectrum of shades such as amethyst, deep plums, mauve or purple —and set them against a backdrop of midnight blue, navy, washed-out whites and neutral cream tones to create a plush, warm and dramatic look.

At this time of year we want to come in from the chilly outdoors and warm up our homes for the winter months ahead. A rich colour palette will achieve this effect—and what’s better than relaxing in a truly sumptuous living space? Whether it’s simple accessories or a whole new sofa, give your home the wow factor!

■ For details of the products opposite, visit tesco.com

Get The Look

Why not add a touch of tasteful opulence to your home?

■ Purple glass ombre lamp, £80, Butterfly Home by Matthew Williamson at Debenhams (debenhams.com)

■ ritchie 2 seater sofa Plum Purple, £499, Made (made.com)

■ jasmine manhattan vase, £125, Poole Pottery at Denby (denby.co.uk)

Manhattan black velvet double headboard, £149; Butler black tray table, £35; floral double duvet set, £15; embroidered cushion, £12; Paxton antique nickel lamp, £35; smoke-facetted filled candle, £8; purple chenille stripe cushion, £7

WILd aBoUT The Garden CenTre

It seems Wyevale Garden Centre—with 149 branches across the country—is on a mission to bring the joy of gardening to everyone. I’m a regular visitor, especially since learning that 90% of their plant stock is British-grown (and much of it in their own nurseries).

I also find the plant-finder on their website endlessly helpful: by ticking a few boxes about your soil type, where you intend to plant and when you would like flowering time or colour, it comes up with some excellent recommendations.

■ For details, visit wyevalegardencentre.co.uk

These globes are a unique and fascinating way to bring the outdoors inside

hanging-glass terrarium, £15

Table-glass terrarium, £12

Table stand, £3

All available at shopsciencemuseum shop.co.uk

Wine, Cleansing And Solar-Charged Lights

By olly mann

Olly is a technology expert, LBC presenter and Answer Me

This! podcaster

coravin 1000, £269

Wine boxes have something of an image problem. They last for ages and keep oxygen out—but are redolent of student parties, where alcohol is judged by its quantity, not quality. But how to ration finer, bottled booze out over several occasions? Step forward the Coravin, which sits atop your bottle, injecting it with argon gas, yet leaving the cork in place. When you want a glass, just push the button to pressurise wine out from the spout. It preserves taste brilliantly— but handling compressed gas once you’ve had a few can feel a little hairy!

apple app of the month: Glp—Great little place, free Tired of tourist-trap establishments but don’t know where locals would recommend? GLP provides a directory of “great little

place” neighbourhood bars and restaurants, uploaded by fellow users, based on your location. Swipe left to skip to the next suggestion, or swipe right to add a venue to your shortlist. Then click “phone” to dial up and reserve a table.

playBulB Garden, £39.99

Now solar-charged garden lights are affordably available in every garden centre, how do you go about pimping your patio?

By synchronising your lights with your smartphone, of course. The Playbulb X app connects up to five of their flyingsaucer-shaped LED lights via Bluetooth, so you can control the colour, intensity and ambience of your outside space from the comfort of your sitting room. After much experimentation, I’ve settled on a slightly dulled neon pink glow, automated to switch on at 9pm each night. It’s like the Playboy Mansion has come to Hertsmere.

foreo luna for men, £145

If you, or the man in your life, still swears by soap and water, there’s no chance in hell I’m convincing you to buy one of these. But if, like me, your bathroom cabinet houses as many exfoliants as you’d find in Elizabeth Taylor’s luggage, this “anti-ageing” device (it targets wrinkles) may well become the latest addition to your morning routine. Apply cleanser, then rub Luna’s soft silicone surface around your face for a minute, and its 8,000 pulsations help unclog your pores and remove dead skin cells. My skin felt noticeably smoother, and shaving noticeably easier, in the aftermath.

android app of the month:

drivenow, from 32p per minute

The app accesses your location to reveal nearby Mini or BMW i3 vehicles available to rent, which you unlock using your phone, hire by the minute, then abandon in any parking bay in the catchment area (currently just in London). The only catch is an actual human has to verify your documents and post a membership card before you can hit the road.

By Geor G ina yates

Georgina is a fashion and beauty editor for numerous travel titles and a blogger at withgeorgia.com

Handled With Care

ALthough essentiALLy

A prActic AL item, in reality a handbag serves a number of purposes; being at once useful, a signal of wealth, an indicator of style and—for the creatively minded— a work of art in its own right. The latter is how young British designer Jasmine D’Cruz treats her gorgeous leather bags.

During her final year studying printed textile design at Birmingham University, Jasmine decided to turn her hand to crafting printed-leather accessories and spent her entire student loan on materials for her new business project. Proving to be an expensive vocation, a stroke

Rustic Reds

Take a cue from the colour of autumn with our selection of high-street musts.

■ Bringing the bohemian look into Autumn is JD Williams’ flowing, floral mid-length dress (£40; jdwilliams.co.uk).

■ To keep warm, throw Laura Ashley’s checked wrap over your shoulders (£40; lauraashley.com).

■ Add the finishing touch with a burgundy fedora (£39; jigsaw.co.uk).

of luck came when she won a Birmingham-based design award, which gave Jasmine an extra financial boost and helped to launch her bag label JD’Cruz.

“The award was a bursary to travel to anywhere I thought was beneficial to my brand as a business. I chose to go to New Delhi because they hold an international leather fair each year. There I made various contacts that I could buy leather from. It was also a great place to learn.”

Jasmine has high hopes for the future of the brand. “My ultimate one-year goal,” she reveals, “is to be stocked in Liberty.”

stranGe maGic

We’re all familiar with cleansers, toners and moisturisers. But, when it comes to chemical peels, quince-infused creams and plant oils, it’s hard to know what to expect.

■ In Dr Hauschka’s Super Light Quince Day Cream, quince wax embalms the skin by locking in moisture and acting like a primer, while quince-seed extract helps to firm it (£23; drhauschka.com)

■ Origins’ High-Potency Night-A-Mins™ Skin Refining Oil comprises no less than 10 plant-based oils. Valerian and Lady Thistle are among the lesser-known ingredients, though both have been used in skincare for centuries (£35; origins.com).

■ Visit jdcruz. co.uk for details

■ A “peel” may sound like something you’d rather leave to the professionals at the spa, but Murad’s Intensive-C Radiance Peel is very easy to use and gives great results. It works like a face mask and really penetrates your pores, flushing them out when you rinse the product off (£49.50; murad.co.uk).

Making Memories

Letters to Jinny is a new jewellery brand created by designer Hannah Livingston, whose charming lockets and keepsakes are inspired by heirlooms and her own family history. “I’ve always been fascinated by sentimentalism and the history of objects,” says Hannah. “Jewellery has an ability to transcend generations, and I love the idea of creating future heirlooms.”

After studying jewellery and metal design at Duncan of Jordanstone in Dundee, Hannah set up business under her own name. “A few years ago I started a blog called ‘Letters to Jinny’,” she explains. “It was a personal diary of sorts,

in the form of letters to my imaginary future daughter, whom I’ve always planned to name Jinny, after my mum. ‘Letters to Jinny’ felt like the right way to take my brand.”

Hannah’s work comprises a collection of pendants, rings and earrings with compartments that conceal handwritten notes. “The lockets are my designs, but once they belong to somebody, they become a part of that person’s history.”

■ Visit letterstojinny.com for details

multitasKinG superstar

I’ve fallen in love with Murad’s latest invention. Perfect for taking with you in your handbag if you want to re-moisturise during the day, the clear gel-like formula serves as a moisturiser, primer, age-repair serum and it also has a SPF30. It can be used over the top of your daily moisturiser or just on its own. Invisiblur is one of those products that once used, you’ll wonder how you lived without it (£55; murad.co.uk).

BOOKSHOP

WE HAVEN’T READ EVERY BOOK IN OUR BOOKSHOP...

…but we work closely with a select group of publishers to hand-pick books we know you will enjoy. Of course we also bring you the books we choose to read ourselves. From literary fiction to popular non-fiction, creative cookery books to gardening for pleasure – and the newest releases alongside timehonoured favourites – we present a distinct range customised for our discerning readers.

When Reader’s Digest was first published over 90 years ago it quickly became one of

the most popular magazines in the world, celebrated for stories and articles, both real-life and fictional, that everyone loved to read and share. At home, on the train – and of course, at the doctor’s.

One of our strengths has always been our nose for a good story, and we’re extending that fine tradition into our online bookshop.

Why wait any longer? Visit shop.readersdigest.co.uk/books and browse through our shelves.

READING MATTERS AT READER’S DIGEST

When you log on, sign up to our weekly newsletter. We’ll keep you informed of new books in the shop and you’ll be the first to hear about exclusive competitions and special offers. PLUS – as a subscriber you’ll automatically be entered into our monthly prize draw to WIN £200 to spend in the shop!

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B11199

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books

One author whose name is more famous than their writing— and another whose writing is more well-known than their name

October Fiction

Agatha Raisin: Dishing the Dirt

by M C Beaton(Constable, £14.99)

James writes and presents the BBC Radio

4 literary quiz

The Write Stuff b

M C Beaton is the creator of Hamish Macbeth, has sold more than 15 million books and is the most-borrowed adult author from British libraries. So why isn’t she the household name that she so richly deserves to be?

One reason, perhaps, is that her books are often dismissed as “cosy”, even though a) there’s nothing wrong with cosy anyway; and b) they’re actually far stranger and much more fun than that. Take, for example, her other long-running detective Agatha Raisin, who solves murder mysteries in the Cotswolds village of Carsley—and who might be mistaken for a slightly younger Miss Marple if she weren’t quite so fond of booze, cigarettes and having crushes on wildly unsuitable men.

In this latest adventure, Carsley once more gives Midsomer a run for its money as the murder capital of Britain. Yet the murder plot is only one of the pleasures on offer, along with social comedy, both affectionate and vicious satire on village life and a rather rueful meditation on ageing. And all the

NAME THE AUTHoR

(Answer on p128)

Can you guess the writer from these clues (and, of course, the fewer you need the better)?

1. He was an American playwright.

2. He wrote the 1961 film The Misfits, starring his then wife.

3. One of his plays shares its name with a famous snooker venue.

time, of course, Agatha remains as much of an irresistible life force as ever.

Now Is the Time

by Melvyn Bragg (Sceptre, £18.99)

To his understandable annoyance, Melvyn Bragg’s novels are sometimes regarded as a little hobby he indulges between TV and radio shows. In fact, they couldn’t be more heartfelt, as Now is the Time (his 22nd novel, incidentally) again confirms. Its subject matter may be more than 700 years old, but Bragg still writes with almost evangelical urgency, as he tackles what he sees as one of the key events in British history, the 1381 Peasants’ Revolt.

The revolt’s appeal to Bragg isn’t hard to fathom, given that it combines several of his passions, including English identity, radical politics and the chance to tell us lots of interesting things. Indeed, for a while, the interesting things are a little too obviously thrown in, with the background history supplied in pretty undigested form. Luckily, once it’s in place, we do then get a full and often thrilling imagining of what went on when around 70,000 ordinary English people marched on London and violently took control of the city. There is, admittedly, never much doubt which side Bragg is on.

pApERbAcks

■ Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman (Headline, £7.99).

Collection of stories from muchloved fantasy writer—now far too famous to be called a cult author.

■ Six Poets: Auden to Larkin by Alan bennett (Faber, £8.99). Official national treasure picks some of his favourite poems and writes about them with wit, charm and insight.

■ The Hotel on Mulberry Bay by Melissa Hill (simon & schuster, £7.99). Another warm and satisfying family tale from the best-selling romantic writer.

■ A 1950s Housewife: Marriage and Homemaking in the 1950s by sheila Hardy (History press), £9.99). Lots of personal anecdotes from a very different domestic era. Eye-opening for those who weren’t there, warmly nostalgic for those who were.

■ Playing It My Way by Sachin Tendulkar (Hodder, £8.99).

Autobiography from the highestscoring batsman in test history— and, perhaps not surprisingly, the fastestselling book of all time in India.

The inimitable Frederick Forsyth has sold more than 70 million books—and his own story proves just as captivating as his novels RD’s

Inside Knowledge

The problem wiTh some wriTers’ au T obiographies is that their authors haven’t done much in their life except write. Well, not this one.

As a boy growing up in post-war Kent, Frederick Forsyth dreamed of travelling the world. Aged 20, he felt the best way was to become a journalist. His first job wasn’t exactly globe-trotting: the Norwich Eastern Daily Express’s man in King’s Lynn. But then he headed for Fleet Street and worked for the national Daily Express in Paris and East Berlin— before joining the BBC.

In 1967, the corporation sent him to cover the war in Nigeria, where the Ibo people in the breakaway state of Biafra were fighting for independence. The official British line was that this was a minor conflict and would soon be over (not least because we were supplying the Nigerian government with arms). Forsyth, though, could

see for himself how untrue that was, even before the man-made famine in Biafra generated the first TV pictures of starving children. Fifty years later, his anger at the British authorities continues to blaze.

As the 1960s ended, Forsyth found himself penniless. His solution was to try his luck as a novelist with The Day of the Jackal, which became the first of his many best-sellers. But, as The Outsider reveals, he’s also worked as a kind of volunteer for MI6—including

in one extraordinary episode where he collects a package from a “turned” KGB general in the toilet of an East German museum.

We join him here in Biafra, where he’s with a unit about to launch an attack on the Nigerian military...

‘‘

The plan was to motor by Land Rover to the last known Biafran position, then march on to a point far down the road and mount an ambush. I agreed to go along even

though this would be an all-Biafran affair with no white mercenaries involved. I was always quite chary of going with an all-Ibo patrol because if things went seriously pear-shaped they could simply vaporise into their native rainforest, whereas I would be lost within ten yards and quite likely to walk into a Nigerian army unit, mistaking one for the other.

But everything went smoothly. It never occurred to me that some fool on the Nigerian side might

colD-WAR sEcRETs

more from The Outsider—this time with Forsyth and the local mi6 chief “Johnny” in a hong Kong restaurant in the 1970s.

I commented on the warmth with which “Johnny” had been greeted.

“Well, they are colleagues in a way,” [he said].

“Working for London?”

“Good Lord, no, they’re Beijing’s intelligence branch down here.”

I was getting a bit confused.

“I thought they were the enemy.”

“Good heavens, no, the Russians are the enemy. Beijing keep us up to speed on everything the Sovs get up to.”

Now the old perceptions were really spinning.

“So we get along with the

Chinese although we are supposed to be on different sides?”

“Absolutely. Except for the Nationalists. They are a pain in the arse.”

“I thought the Nationalists were anti-Beijing.”

“That’s why they’re a pain. They scrimp and save until they can buy some illegal guns, then set off in a sampan or two to invade Mainland China.”

“What happens to them?”

“Oh, I tip off my friend here,” he nodded towards the kitchen, “and the idiots are intercepted as they land.”

“Aren’t they executed?”

“We have an arrangement. They just disarm them and send them back.”

send up a party of visiting journalists.

The commando officer picked his spot on a grassy bank above the road and we settled down to wait. After an hour there was the low rumble of engines coming up from the south, then the wash of dimmed headlights.

We were invisible in the long grass and under the trees but the road, with no tree cover, was visible by moon and stars. The leading Nigerian Land Rover stopped several bullets and drove itself straight into the rain ditch,

accented English: ‘I’ve been hit, oh my God, I’ve been hit.’ That was the first indication there were any Europeans down on the road.

Peering into the gloom I discerned the shouting figure on the road and the voice made plain it was a fellow countryman. Next to me a Biafran soldier also spotted the target and raised his FAL rifle to complete the job. Journalistic rivalry may occasionally become tense, but never that bad. I reached out, eased his

I reached out, eased his barrel upward and his shot went off through the treetops

blocking the road for the convoy and preventing escape forwards. The lorries behind panicked, stopped and began to shed the dim forms of the men inside them. The Biafrans kept firing and the Nigerians started shouting and screaming.

Then above the noise I heard a single voice shouting in perfectly

AND THE NAME oF

THE AUTHoR is…

Arthur Miller, whose film-star wife was Marilyn Monroe and who wrote The Crucible—as in the Sheffield theatre that hosts the World Snooker Championship.

barrel upward and his shot went off through the treetops. He turned and I could see the whites of his eyes glaring at me. Then the ambush commander blew his whistle—the signal to shimmy backwards off the bank, into the forest and run like hell.

The Englishman on the road had taken a bullet in the thigh. Months later I learned that he was Independent Television star Peter Sissons, who was evacuated, flown home and made a full recovery.

Years later, at a fancy dress charity ball of all things, and being somewhat in my cups, I let it slip. He and his wife were there. Peter took the news with appropriate dignity, but it was his wife who gave me a big wet kiss.

Books

t H at CH an G e D M y L ife

Philippa Gregory is the best-selling historical novelist of over 30 books, including The Other Boleyn Girl, adapted for the big screen, and The White Queen, made into a BBC series. Her latest book The Taming of the Queen is out now.

A Room With a View

By E M ForstEr

Growing up, I used to go and stay with my aunt, who was one of the first women to graduate from Oxford. She had a wonderful library, including Forster first editions, and would let me take them out into the countryside to read. At 14, I was exactly the right age to enjoy this deceptively simple coming-of-age story and to embrace proper literature for the first time— freely, deeply and with real pleasure.

The Making of the English Working Class

By E P thoMPson

This is the Bible of Marxist history. During my first year at Sussex University everybody was talking about it, so I felt I had to tackle it too. I’d always been interested in history and left-wing thinking, so

Thompson’s knowledge and outrage at the way the working class has been treated really shaped my politics. He has a lovely sense of humour and writes with enormous sympathy, so his love of England shines through.

Simple Gifts

By JoannE GrEEnBErG

Picked up by chance in a bookshop some 30 years ago, this is the book I’ve reread more than any other. It’s an entertaining story about a poor farming family in Colorado, secretly brewing alcohol to make ends meet, who have to step back in time and live and dress like pioneers when their farm is chosen as a heritage site, where stressed New Yorkers come to sample simple living. Obviously things go wrong, but it’s Greenberg’s meditation on time, the differences between living in the past and the present, which I take to heart each time I read it.

As told to Caroline Hutton

You Couldn’t Make It Up

Win £50 for your true, funny stories! Go to readersdigest. co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

BLOCKeD sInUses were giving my elderly aunt grief, so I suggested she go to the pharmacist and ask for some menthol crystals to inhale.

The next evening she phoned to tell me how useless the pharmacist had been. “I asked her for what you told me and she looked at me like I was mad,” she said. “I told her you swore by it and she said I should get you some help.”

“Oh, how strange,” I responded.

“Yes, she was strange,” replied my aunt. “So I just told her that I’d make an appointment with my doctor and darned well ask him for some crystal meths.”

CaTRIOna mCLeOD, Inverness-shire

On DUTY as a pOLICeman, my brother noticed a man walking along the pavement with a portable bus stop (there were road works near the usual stop).

My brother remonstrated with him, but the man replied huffily, “I’m NOT stealing it. I’m moving it closer to my house.” HaRRI LeWIs, Liverpool

“What is it, Jenkins? I’m in the middle of my lunch!”

mY GRanDsOn lives on a farm. In one lesson his class were asked by their teacher, “If there were 12 sheep and six of them got through a hole in the fence, how many would be left?”

“None,” answered Dylan, my sevenyear-old grandson.

“You don’t know your arithmetic,” said the teacher.

“Well you don’t know your sheep,” replied Dylan. “When one goes, they all go!”

LOUIse JOnes, Clwyd

Cartoon by Graeme y oun G son

I HaD TO smILe when I saw my grumpy, elderly neighbour at the supermarket recently. Trying to make conversation, I asked, “What are you doing here?”

It was a silly question, I know, but he was having none of it. “I’m hunting elephants,” he replied sarcastically, before trundling off.

ROB COLWORTH, Cambridgeshire

mY 19-YeaR-OLD sOn has taken two full-time jobs to pay for his new car— so he’s been working very long hours.

I went into his room to remove some plates and glasses, and saw that both his gecko and boa-constrictor tanks had run out of water. Looking around, I noticed no live crickets either. Worrying that my son was not looking after them properly, I thought I’d give them fresh water and have a word with him later.

Steeling up my courage, knowing the constrictor bites when hungry, I carefully slipped my hand in to remove the water bowl, watching for any movement—and breathed a sigh of relief when I replaced it without being bitten.

The next day I found out he’d sold them both weeks ago!

KaRen FesemeYeR, Worcestershire

He Isn’T mUCH OF a ReaDeR, but my husband begrudgingly joined me at the local library. I was browsing the crime section and stumbled upon the latest novel by Lee Child.

“I don’t know why you bother reading that,” said my husband. “He just makes it up as he goes along!”

meLane LODGe, Yorkshire

a LITTLe BOY in my infant class came into school and told me he could spell his mum’s name.

“M-U-M,” he said proudly.

Before I could congratulate him, another little boy said excitedly, “That’s how you spell my mum’s name too!”

paULa maDDOCKs, Hertfordshire

I Was sITTInG On THe FLOOR playing with my two-year-old daughter, when there was a knock at the door. I went to answer it and was greeted by a large lady delivering a copy of the parish magazine.

My daughter was grabbing onto my legs, as young children do, saying, “Mummy! Mummy!” over and over.

The conversation with the lady at the door came to a halt. She graciously said, “Awww! See what she wants, she’s so cute!”

Silence fell before my daughter piped up loudly, “Mummy! Hasn’t that lady got fat legs?”

It was a I-want-to-die moment...

HeIDI CLaRK, York

sOme peOpLe are always right. Recently my mother-in-law said to me, “I hate it when I’m singing along with a song and the artist gets the words wrong.”

JUsTIne BURTOn, Clywd

Lightweight and ergonomic, the Hormark 2-in-1 cyclonic stick vac makes cleaning a breeze. With one-touch emptying and Dual Cyclone Technology.

■ Handheld vacuum cleaner with open handle design

■ Energy Rating A

■ Hard floor Rating C

■ Carpet Rating G

■ Dust container capacity 0.5L

■ 4m Power Cord

■ Includes: floor brush/ crevice nozzle/telescopic tube

■ High gloss red and grey

■ 220-240V, 400W

• Quote

it pays to increase your

Word Power

We turned to the lyrics from some popular musicals for the words used in this month’s quiz. Those lyrics—and the titles of the relevant songs—are on the next page, as are the answers to these words. So now, it’s on with the show…

1. heinous (he-nos)

adj—A: following behind. B: final. C: abominable.

2. accrue (ah-crew)

v—A: to accumulate. B: accelerate. C: accentuate.

3. flaunt (flaw-nt)

v—A: to whip mercilessly. B: flatten. C: show off.

4. sanatorium (san-a-tor-re–um)

n—A: sacred place. B: rehabilitation facility. C: hideout.

5. impetuous (im-pet-you-us)

adj—A: extremely impatient. B: impulsively passionate. C: unable to be moved.

6. finagle (fin-ay-gal)

v—A: to obtain by trickery. B: adjust carefully. C: finalise.

7. ken (ken)

n—A: member of the immediate family. B: range of knowledge. C: geographic surroundings.

8. beguile (bi-guyle)

v—A: to restart. B: befriend.

C: charm.

9. iniquity (in-ni-kwi-ti)

n—A: wickedness. B: uneasiness. C: unhelpfulness.

10. palazzo (pe-lat-so)

n—A: open-air market. B: large building. C: castle entrance.

11. inquisition (in-kwi-si-shun)

v—A: harsh questioning. B: excessive penalty. C: sudden acquisition.

12. gaudy (gor-di)

adj—A: clumsy. B: windy. C: flashy.

13. fop (fop)

n—A: vain man. B: spectacular failure. C: cleaning utensil.

14. ennui (on-wee)

n—A: high-heeled slipper. B: excitement. C: boredom.

15. equipoise (eh-kwi-poise)

n—state of A: equality. B: readiness. C: equilibrium.

1. heinous—[C]

Answers

Abominable. “If she says your behaviour is heinous/Kick her right in the Coriolanus”—“Brush Up Your Shakespeare”

2. accrue—[A]

To accumulate. “The hobbies you pursue together/Savings you accrue together”—“Little Things”

3. flaunt—[C]

To show off. “Ven you got it, flaunt it”— “When You Got It, Flaunt It”

4. sanatorium—[B]

Rehabilitation facility. “Sir Charles came from a sanitorium/And yelled for drinks in my emporium”—“To Keep My Love Alive”

5. impetuous—[B]

Impulsively passionate. “Yet there’s that upturned chin/And the grin of impetuous youth”—“I Believe In You”

6. finagle—[A]

To obtain by trickery. “Throw ’em a fake and a finagle/They’ll never know you’re just a bagel”—“Razzle Dazzle”

7. ken—[B]

Range of knowledge. “Timid and shy and scared are you/Of things beyond your ken”—“Sixteen Going On Seventeen”

8. beguile—[C]

To charm. “I’m wild again/ Beguiled again/A simpering, whimpering child again”—“Bewitched”

9. iniquity—[A]

Wickedness. “In our little den of iniquity/Our arrangement is good” “Den Of Iniquity”

10. palazzo—[B]

Large building. “Could still she be drinkin’ in her stinkin’ pink palazzo?” —“Where Is The Life That Late I Led?”

11. inquisition—[A]

Harsh questioning. “I’d prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition” “I’m An Ordinary Man”

12. gaudy—[C]

Flashy. “Naughty, bawdy, gaudy, sporty/Forty-Second Street” “42nd Street”

13. fop—[A]

Vain man. “It’s fop/Finest in the shop/And we have some shepherd’s pie/With actual shepherd on top” “A Little Priest”

14. ennui—[C]

Boredom. “When I’m out on a quiet spree/Fighting vainly the old ennui” —“I Get A Kick Out Of You”

15. equipoise—[C] State of equilibrium. “And just a minute boys/I got the feed box noise/ It says the great-grandfather was Equipoise”—“Fugue For Tinhorns”

VocAbulAry rAtings

9 & below: tripping up 10–12: skipping along 13–15: stealing the show

This foldable Steam Mop cleans all types of floor, carpets, vinyl, tiles, laminates, wood, windows, garments & more!

■ Just use tap water and turns into superheated steam

■ Helps clean, sanitise, feshen and deodorise

■ Fast, powerful and easy to use with no harmful chemicals

■ Super-heated that

cleans at 110°C killing 99% of bacteria

■ Variable steam control for tough delicate areas

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■ Swivel head gets into awkward spaces and corners

Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles and mind stretchers, then check your answers on page 139.

By marceL Danesi

Letter sums

Each letter from A to I stands for one of the nine numbers listed. No two letters have the same numeric value. Match each letter to a number to make the equations work.

Fine Figures

Which four separate figures below went into the combined image?

gemstone

How many triangles are there in this illustration? Note that a triangle may be made up of smaller segments (including smaller triangles).

DecoDer

The numbers at the end of each row or column result from adding up the numbers represented by the symbols in that row or column. Knowing this, determine the number value of each symbol. No two symbols will have the same value.

an equaL HanD

Examine the first three “hands,” consisting of three cards each. Identify which of the four card options to the right can be added to the remaining hand so that the four hands will create a logical set.

* Entry is open only to residents of the UK, Channel Islands, Isle of Man and Republic of Ireland aged 18 or over. It is not open to employees of Vivat Direct Limited (t/a Reader’s Digest), its subsidiary companies and all other persons associated with the competition.

BrainTeasers: Answers

Letter sums

A = 1, B = 4, C = 8, D = 12, E = 17, F = 5, G = 16, H = 21, I = 18.

Fine Figures

A D F H gemstone 72

DecoDer = 2, = 3, = 5, = 10.

an equaL HanD

C. In each hand, the number value of the card on the right is the sum of the values of the other two cards, plus one. For example, in the top-left hand, 3 (left card) + 1 (middle card) = 4; then 4 + 1 = 5 (right card).

A A 8

8 10

10

£50 prize question

answer published in the november issue

Which is the missing square?

a B c D

the first correct answer we pick on september 30 wins £50!* email excerpts@readers digest.co.uk

answer to septemBer’s prize question

x = 20

start at the top right-hand corner and work along the top line, then back along the second line and so on. the numbers progress as follows: +3, -2, +1. Finish at the bottom left-hand corner square with 20.

anD tHe £50 goes to… Gay Jacklin, Worthing

Laugh!

Win £50 for every reader’s joke we publish! Go to readersdigest. co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

A MAN PEERED OUT at his garden after a night’s heavy snowfall. It looked beautiful under a thick blanket of snow, except for his daughter’s boyfriend’s signature executed in a tasteful yellow across his lawn.

He was incandescent with rage. His wife tried to calm him down. “Didn’t you ever do anything like that when you were a boy?” she said. “All boys do.”

He exclaimed, “But don’t you see? That’s our daughter’s handwriting!”

ELIZABETH MOULDER, Worcestershire

A FEW DECADES AGO we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.

ACTOR BILL MURRAY

I WAS DRIVING ALONG in my car and my boss rang up and said, “You’ve been promoted.” I swerved.

Then he rang a second time and said, “You’ve been promoted again.” And I swerved again.

He rang a third time and said, “You’re managing director!” and I went into a tree.

A policeman came up and said, “What happened to you?”

I said, ‘I careered off the road.”

COMEDIAN TIM VINE

DAVID CAMERON has just announced he wants to put a ban on alcohol in the House of Commons.

His idea was met with a chorus of booze.

TRACY DAVIDSON, Warwickshire

TWO AERIALS MET ON A ROOF. They fell in love and got married. The ceremony was rubbish—but the reception was brilliant.

INDEPENDENT.CO.UK

A MAN GOES OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS. Before he leaves, he tells his wife, “I promise I’ll be home by midnight.”

Midnight comes and goes. He finally arrives home at about 3am. As he walks in, he realises the cuckoo clock is about to go off. As it starts,

he has a flash of genius and decides to coo another nine times. He sneaks in to bed satisfied with himself.

The next morning he wakes up and his wife is making breakfast. She doesn’t seem to be angry. Satisfied with himself, he asks her, “Did you sleep OK last night?”

“Yes,” she replies. “But we need a new cuckoo clock.”

He asks her why and she tells him, “Last night it cooed three times. Then it shouted, ‘Blast!’ It cooed another six times and giggled a little bit. Finally it cooed three more times, belched and tripped on the carpet.”

SEEN ONLINE

I LIKE TO PLAY CHESS with bald men in the park, although it’s hard to find 32 of them.

COMEDIAN ERNO PHILLIPS

WHEN MY WIFE AND I ARGUE, we’re like a band in concert: we start with some new stuff, and then we roll out our greatest hits.

COMEDIAN FRANK SKINNER

A GOOD ITCH

It doesn’t matter who—or what—you are, sometimes you just have to stop and scratch (as seen on the internet)

SEEN ONLINE

WHEN I SEE lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet. I just think it’s scary how many people bring knives on dates.

I MET A DUTCH GIRL with inflatable shoes last week. I phoned her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.

COMEDIAN PETER KAY

FINDING ONE OF HER STUDENTS making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to reprimand the child gently.

Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.” SEEN ONLINE

I WENT INTO a French restaurant and asked the waiter, “Have you got frogs’ legs?”

He said, “Yes,” so I said, “Well, hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.” COMEDIAN TOMMY COOPER

THERE ARE ONLY four things you can be in life: sober, tipsy, drunk or

hungover. Unfortunately, tipsy is the only one where you don’t cry when you’re doing it.”

COMEDIAN JAMES ACASTER

A BLONDE, A BRUNETTE AND A RED HEAD are stranded on a desert island. They find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.

The brunette wishes she was off the island and back home. The red head wishes the same.

The blonde says, “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”

SEEN ONLINE

I HATE IT WHEN new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. ACTOR WILL FERRELL

EXASPERATING EVERYDAY LIFE

Cludont has a knack for for picking up on those moments that pepper all of our days, showcasing how ludricous they are. As seen on Twitter.

Nothing summons the teenage, “I’M DOING IT!!” in me quite like the selfcheckout voice telling me to take my items when I’m taking my items.

If you want real, no-holds-barred feedback on your customer service, simply record what people are saying when they’re on hold.

Cling film. One of those things that’s ideal when your morning isn’t anywhere near stressful enough.

Nothing says, “This conversation is over,” quite like someone plunging their hands into a Dyson Airblade.

Beat the Cartoonist!

Think of a witty caption for this cartoon—the three best suggestions, along with the cartoonist’s original, will be posted on our website in midOctober. If your entry gets the most votes, you’ll win £100 and a framed copy of the cartoon, with your caption.

Submit to captions@readersdigest.co.uk or online at readersdigest.co.uk/caption by October 12. We’ll announce the winner in our December issue.

August’s Winner

The readers strike back! Dave McKenna comfortably secured the popular vote this month with, “Not sure about this aerodynamic shell, Steve. It feels more sluggish,” a nice little pun that was preferred to cartoonist Steve Jones’ more simple caption, “Life just flashes by, doesn’t it?” But all the final choices attracted support, so keep the submissions coming!

SCOREBOARD: readers 33 Cartoonists 12

in the n ovember issue

Tails of the Unexpected!

Stories of heroic animals—from a lifesaving cat to landminesweeping rats (or the horse which saved a farmer from a cow attack)

Plus

• our 100-Wordstory Competition returns

• “i remember”: Wilko Johnson

• how to have a brilliant teenager

• the beautiful Life of Your brain

60-Second Stand-Up

We caught up with the rather cheeky

WHAT’S THE BEST PART OF YOUR CURRENT SET?

I talk about how there are 10,432 letters in the Chinese alphabet—can you imagine how massive one tin of Alphabetti spaghetti is in Beijing?

HAVE YOU FOUND ANY PARTS OF THE COUNTRY TO BE FUNNIER THAN OTHERS?

People knock smaller towns, but I like them. I went to Wolverhampton, for example, and it really put my own problems into perspective.

WHAT’S YOUR MOST MEMORABLE HECKLE EXPERIENCE?

I once took the mickey out of a Scot’s trainers when I was up in Edinburgh. He stood up and said, “You want some, pal?” Luckily my manager dragged him out before he bottled me.

The Victoria’s Secret show changing rooms...obviously because it would be a fascinating insight into the world of fashion and stuff.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE ONE-LINER?

My little boy’s favourite joke: “Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Dwayne.”

“Dwayne who?”

“Dwayne the bath, I’m drowning.”

Not exactly a one-liner but hey, he’s only six.

IF YOU COULD HAVE A SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

I’d time travel. I go back and see what my answer was to this question, then tell you. Isn’t that a bit clever?

Lee appears in this month’s Brighton Comedy Festival (brightoncomedyfestival. com). For details on Lee’s current Suited & Booted show, visit leenelson.com