Reader's Digest UK May 2020

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THE MARY POPPINS ACTRESS ON FAITH, FAMILY AND FAME

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Contents MAY 2020

Features 16 IT’S A MANN’S WORLD Olly Mann has a shocking confession to make: he doesn’t read books

ENTERTAINMENT

p66

20 INTERVIEW:

EMILY BLUNT

The Mary Poppins star on motherhood, the ups and downs of being an actor and why she hates high heels

28 “I REMEMBER”:

MILLICENT MARTIN

The British actress looks back on her scintillating career and meeting everyone from Julie Andrews to Michael Caine

66

Access Britain’s greatest museums, galleries and historical landmarks from the comfort of your home

HEALTH

38 THE FUTURE OF HEALTH How AI, genomics and other technology is changing the landscape of clinical care

78

MONOGAMY

Is it really natural to stay with one partner for life?

ECO-FRIENDLY EATING Practical advice on what and how to eat to keep the environment happy

INSPIRE

58 RETHINKING

BEST OF BRITISH: DIGITAL DELIGHTS

90

INSIDE COSTA RICA Explore the remote beauty of Bahía Drake bay

cover photograph by Katie Falkenberg/Los Angeles Times/ Contour by Getty Images

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Contents MAY 2020

In every issue 8 12

Over to You See the World Differently

46 50

HEALTH Advice: Susannah Hickling Column: Dr Max Pemberton

74

INSPIRE If I Ruled the World: Keith Duffy

116

FASHION & BEAUTY Column: Lisa Lennkh on how to look your best Beauty

MONEY Column: Andy Webb

118

ENTERTAINMENT May’s cultural highlights

FOOD & DRINK Tasty recipes and ideas from Rachel Walker

122

98 100

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE My Great Escape British Beaches

102 106

110

p106 114

127

HOME & GARDEN Column: Cassie Pryce

p74

BOOKS May Fiction: James Walton’s recommended reads Books That Changed My Life: Robert Webb

128

TECHNOLOGY Column: Olly Mann

130 134 136 140 143 144

FUN & GAMES You Couldn’t Make It Up Word Power Brain Teasers Laugh!

60-Second Stand-Up Beat the Cartoonist

MAY 2020 • 3

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EDITORS’ LET TERS

In This Issue…

E Follow Us facebook.com/ readersdigestuk twitter.com/ readersdigestuk @readersdigest_uk You can also sign up to our newsletter at readersdigest.co.uk Reader’s Digest is published in 27 editions in 11 languages

veryday life as we know it has changed since we began commissioning this issue of Reader’s Digest, and we still don’t really know what life will be like by the time this magazine is in your hands.

However you’re coping with life in the time of Covid-19, we hope the following pages will offer you some comfort, company and a muchneeded dose of escapism.

On p78, we look at the correlation between diet and the environment, reveal the most eco-friendly eating habits, debunk some common myths and look at where the future of environmentallyconscious eating is headed. On p58, Jessica Summers analyses the growing trend and science behind non-monogamy and ponders whether it’s natural to stay with one partner for life. And as the NHS continues to heroically battle against the coronavirus outbreak on the frontlines, we further celebrate the healthcare system by looking at its use of technological innovation to improve diagnosis and treatment on p38.

And if your usual 144 pages aren’t quite enough to get you through a month at home, do pay a visit to our website, readersdigest.co.uk, where we upload new articles every day, from delicious recipes to fascinating interviews and advice on the coronavirus epidemic. Until next time, look after yourself, and each other, and we hope our humble magazine brings you moments of joy.

Anna and Eva MAY 2020 • 7

Over To You LETTERS ON THE March ISSUE

We pay £50 for Letter of the Month and £30 for all others

LETTER OF THE MONTH

I was grateful for your article “6 Health Chats You Need To Have” because it brought home how many people do not know the dying wishes of their nearest and dearest. Having conversations about health, dying and death is still very much a taboo subject and avoided by so many, but you helped me realise there is a way to explore and approach this subject.

My grandfather had problems with his prostate but he died without the family knowing what they were. Since then, three family members have had prostate cancer.

If we had talked to my grandfather about his medical condition, we might have been forewarned. Years ago, people didn’t discuss their illnesses as much as they do these days.

Your article gave very sound advice and I’m making sure my family know everything they need to know.

— JASON DAVID, Hertfordshire

TELL THE TRUTH Susannah Hickling’s words about getting difficult family issues out into the open before it’s too late rang very true with me this month.

Brought up as an only child who always longed for siblings, I discovered— long after losing both my parents—that I have a half-brother; the result of a wartime affair. Aunts and uncles sworn to secrecy at the time of his birth have passed on too. With very little to work on, I’ve tried everything I can think of to trace this man but without success. It’s deeply frustrating and, I’m afraid, has tinged with resentment the loving memories I once had of my parents.

— MAGGIE COBBETT, Yorkshire

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! Send letters to readersletters@readersdigest.co.uk Include your full name, address, email and daytime phone number. We may edit letters and use them in all print and electronic media 8 • MAY 2020

NAMING ME, NAMING YOU Olly Mann’s “Flour Power” reminded me how some nicknames can evoke contrasting memories and emotions. As a pupil in the 1960s at a secondary modern school for boys, most nicknames given out by my peers were cruel, reminding others of their physical differences or as they thought, weaknesses.

Therefore, being very tall and skinny with long bony fingers and a stoop developed through shyness and insecurity, I was known as “Spiky” or “Grandad”.

In the late Seventies as a deputy head teacher in a Hampshire primary school, I was, (I found out recently on Facebook) privately but affectionately known as “Fingers”. This term referred more to the pupils’ memories of me playing songs on the piano from memory than to the strange shape of my hands!

Yes, some nicknames did hurt, but those given through friendship and genuine affection can bring wonderful warm memories that are always with you.

— KEITH LODGE , Yorkshire

PICK A POEM I loved reading Jonathan Hancock’s piece about how to remember poetry.

It was a joy to remember that memorising poetry should be just that—joyful!

I started performing my own poetry a few years ago. When I started earning money for it, memorising gave me so much anxiety. Your article reminded me that it should be enjoyable.

Here’s another tip that’s worked for me: visualise the poetry as you go. Let’s take the line, “My Mistress’s eyes are nothing like the sun/ Coral far more red than her lips red”. Here, I might picture a sun with eyes shining over the sea. Beneath the sea is a mermaid, sitting on some coral and putting red lipstick on.

The best part is the million varieties that can arise. So have fun with it!

— CERYS EVANS, Bedfordshire

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Photos: © Christopher Furlong/Getty Images

SEE turn THEtheWORLD... page

…DIFFERENTLY What do you do with 100,000 confiscated knives? In March of 2019, sculptor Alfie Bradley exhibited his solution to this riddle outside of Coventry Cathedral in England. His “Knife Angel” was designed to call attention to the impact of knife crime while remembering its victims. The knives hail from a special police amnesty programme initiated by all 43 of the UK’s Police Constabularies.

15

IT’S A MANN’S WORLD

Turning The Page This month, Olly Mann has a confession—he doesn't read books…

H

ere’s a confession: I don’t read books.

To make such a declaration, in Reader’s Digest of all places, seems sacrilegious. But there you are. No point sugar-coating it. I don’t read books.

Lest you think I’m illiterate, or stupid, I immediately feel I should qualify the statement. I don’t habitually read books. I don’t read books as often as I’d like. When I was at primary school, I loved books! Roald Dahl, mainly (I know everybody says that, because he’s the David Bowie of kids lit, but I really did devour his stuff, cover to cover).

Olly Mann presents Four Thought for BBC Radio 4, and the award-winning podcasts The Modern Mann and Answer Me This!

16 • MAY 2020

When Mum (an actress) was sent an early proof of Matilda so she could audition for the talking book, I was so obsessed that I skived school to read it ahead of my friends.

By age ten, I’d precociously sampled Shakespeare, Dickens and Wilde. Books shaped my world view: I remember Dad suggesting we "kill some time" while Mum was shopping, and my emotional response—"You must never kill time!"—was cribbed direct from Tock, the "watchdog" in Norton Juster’s satirical classic, The Phantom Tollbooth, which I was reading at the time.

At 13, I felt very grown-up and got into Christopher Pike, whose pulpy horror novels were, I now realise, aimed precisely at adolescents like me, who believed he was writing for older teens, and were titillated by the (small) death-count and (tame) sexy bits. His stories had plots such as a VCR that could record tomorrow’s illustration by Daniel Mitchell

IT’S A MANN’S WORLD

news, or a teenage witch who haunted her classmates. What’s not to like?!

But then reading books became, I don’t know… harder. I’d find myself, mid-way through a chapter, distracted by something more compelling—a phone-call, a conversation, a cocktail.

Or I’d look up a fact on Wikipedia, and end up exploring a more intriguing internet rabbit-hole than the book itself.

I made an odd choice, therefore, to study English at Oxford.

But I could write a decent essay, and always, romantically, liked the idea of reading. It’s just that, in reality, magazines and newspapers were better suited to my attention span. Once I was engulfed in a reading list of Anglo-Saxon poetry and epic biographies of Oliver Cromwell, the problem compounded itself—reading became a chore. Work.

Not fun.

Look, I do sometimes read for pleasure. Maybe twice per year, on holiday. In the past 20 years, I’ve enjoyed blockbusters like Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Are You Experienced?, Room and Freedom… salacious non-fiction such as Tom Bower’s biography of Simon Cowell, and Dan Davies on Jimmy Savile...

I’ve even dipped my toes in literary 18 • MAY 2020

fiction by Alan Hollinghurst, Lauren Groff and Elizabeth Strout, just to see what I was missing. But holiday habits aren’t real-world routines, are they?

When I return home, I still buy loads of books, because they look nice on my shelves (I recently got a copy of Jane Austen’s letters for three quid in my local Oxfam. Three quid!). But I never open them.

The fact that we live in the golden age of the TV box-set has hardly helped matters. At the end of each day—once I’ve wrestled my kids away from eating LEGO and dancing on the cats—I kick off my shoes, pour myself an enormous glass of wine… and, at that point, frankly, a session with Succession or Better Call Saul always seems more appetising than an evening spent with the new Hilary Mantel.

Do audio books count? I listen to autobiographies when I’m driving, but only if they’re voiced by the author (the revelation was Maggie Thatcher doing The Path To Power.

I still recall that lump in her throat when describing the "milk snatcher" episode). Recently, Matt Lucas’ autobiography, a light tome, came alive when I heard him impersonating the characters who’ve coloured his life, and heard him in his own words explaining how character comedy helped him escape a childhood of

READER’S DIGEST

being bullied for being fat, bald, and gay. But that’s more like listening to radio, or a podcast, isn’t it?

Do cookbooks count? I do consult Mary Berry’s pesto recipe regularly.

But—and maybe I’m a snob—I don’t think that’s really reading, either. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s easier just to tell people: I don’t read books.

I experimented with actually saying this aloud recently, when I was asked to judge a Book of the Year award. The chap organising the judges panel kept pushing back when I told him: I don’t read books.

“Ah yes, but you’d only need to read the shortlist!”, he said. “You could probably work out whether they’re any good after a couple of chapters”.

I don’t think you get it, I said: I don’t read books. I no longer have a decent understanding of good and bad

“I STILL BUY LOADS OF BOOKS, BECAUSE THEY LOOK NICE ON MY SHELVES, BUT I NEVER OPEN THEM” writing, because I don’t encounter it in the wild. I AM WATCHING TV. I think he thought that I was inventing an excuse.

Perhaps as I get older—more time on my hands? Declining sex drive?— I’ll get back into reading. I hope so, because, as it stands, it would be much easier than telling people the truth. n

Swoony facts about your favourite rom coms Actress Rachel McAdams has played the love interest of a time traveller four times, in About Time, The Time Traveller's Wife, Doctor Strange and Midnight in Paris

Before filming commenced on Bridget Jones' Diary, Renée Zellwegger worked at a publishing house as a publicity assistant for three weeks Reese Witherspoon, Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow and Keri Russell all auditioned for the role of Cher in Clueless, which eventually went to Alicia Silverstone because, "she was Cher"

Julia Stiles didn't mean to cry in the poem scene of 10 Things I Hate About You, but her tearful performance became one of the film's most iconic scenes SOURCE: BUZZFEED.COM

MAY 2020 • 19

ENTERTAINMENT

Emily Blunt:

“It’s A Blood Bath Out There”

by Richard Aldous

Emily Blunt discusses her career, creative conflicts and children, celebrating along the way a reputation that continues to accelerate… even if her current movie is somewhat stuck in transit

T

here’s a cruel irony at play that allows the second chapter in Emily Blunt’s A Quiet Place project to coincide with an almost complete shutdown of organised gatherings in the UK—in light of the COVID-19 outbreak. Quiet, indeed.

On March 20, the very night that cinemagoers were preparing to revel in the actress’s latest ascent into the upper echelons of UK movie royalty, so Boris Johnson did give one final tug on cafes, restaurants and pubs— our final flirtations with what might resemble a social life.

Paramount, the film’s distributors, look set to reschedule the film later

in the year. As for Blunt, the 37-yearold actress will weather this dalliance as indeed she has before, with the sort of unpredictability that has patterned a career spanning back to 2001, and a professional stage debut in The Royal Family, opposite Dame Judi Dench.

Perhaps the Wandsworth-born star, who is married to director and A Quiet Place co-star John Krasinski, can thank her rather laissez-faire attitude for guiding her through a variety of phases, from rich creative fertility to a few false starts.

“You can’t expect everything to work all of the time,” she begins. “Take anything in life—a

photograph by Katie Falkenberg/Los Angeles Times/Contour by Getty Images

MAY 2020 • 21

Starring in The Devil Wears Prada alongside model Gisele Bündchen; (Below) In the lead role for The Young Victoria in 2009

P H OTO 1 2 / A L A M Y S TO C K P H OTO

READER’S DIGEST

and I would like to think I haven’t relationship, a car, an athlete. So I’m certain you shouldn’t expect an actor looked back since.” Indeed, with the subsequent success of Into the Woods, to get it right all of the time either.”

Sicario, The Huntsman: Winter’s “I guess the thing in this industry War, The Girl on the Train and Mary is to be really honest about why Poppins Returns, it is little wonder something hasn’t worked, and to try Blunt is regarded as one of our finest to ensure it’s not a mistake that will modern-day actresses… even if she be repeated!” does shun the plaudits.

Having leapt onto the big screen “I try to take all that with a pinch with The Devil Wears Prada in of salt,” she says. “The industry as 2006, Blunt, who played Emily— a whole, the marketing machine, the senior assistant of Runway the game you have to play… magazine editor-in-chief oh, and the red carpet Miranda Priestly [Meryl events especially,“ she Streep]—presented “SOMETIMES laughs. “I still get that a domineering, YOU JUST stomach churn right confident and NEED A JOLT IN ORDER TO as I’m stepping out effortlessly cool REALISE of the car, because it character, and WHERE IT IS is scary. It’s a lot, it’s showcased her YOU SHOULD like a bloodbath out potential, a talent GET BACK TO” there, but you do get that looked certain used to it.” to be repeated across “It will always end up projects that followed. with me having taken my Yet, while mystery drama heels off at the end of the night, and Irresistible, comedy Charlie Wilson’s I’ll be walking up the driveway in War and, notably, period drama bare feet because I just don’t like The Young Victoria, all enabled the [wearing] the high heels all day.” actress to flex her creative spirit While success brings about a across a range of new genres, her rather more carefree attitude to choices represented a flattening the endless PR procession that of the career progression curve—a paints the industry, it is in fact trend only bucked when she starred parenthood that has—more than opposite Tom Cruise in the film, anything else—lowered Blunt’s Edge of Tomorrow in 2014. urgency levels the most.

“Sometimes you just need a “Motherhood changes you in jolt in order to realise where it is so many ways,” she admits. “It’s a you should get back to,” she says. beautiful feeling to be able to look “That movie was certainly mine MAY 2020 • 23

I N T E R V I E W : E M I LY B L U N T

calling in raising Hazel, six and Violet, three.

“IT HELPS “My greatest TO HAVE concern is to ensure SOMEONE AT I leave enough time HOME WHO in between projects UNDERSTANDS so that I can enjoy THE BUSINESS being with my AND ALL husband and children YOUR ANXIETES” and not feel that our family life is disrupted constantly. That’s why we chose not to live in LA, because While husband Krasinski is labelled as “the most caring man and it can be suffocating to always be talking about work and the business.” father”, who will readily be at hand That may still be an unavoidable with bottles, nappies and a childcare by-product when two of the schedule that belies his own industry’s most active stars are considerable commitments to the settling down for Hollywood machine, Charlie Wilson’s War (2007); a quiet snuggle on Blunt appears to The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016) the sofa, but rather have truly found a

A F A R C H I V E / A L A M Y S TO C K P H OTO

after your children and always have them so present in your life. I love acting and my time working with people on a film set, but I also love my life at home with my husband and daughters. It’s the best of both worlds.”

P I C TO R I A L P R E S S LT D

READER’S DIGEST

than constantly obsessing over work She admits that motherhood has duties, each uses the other provoked in her a desire to throw as a sounding board for advice even more caution to the wind than and guidance. she was displaying around the turn “Obviously in recent years we’ve of the last decade when her choices become very involved in each veered surprisingly into the realms of other’s projects and decisions, but black comedy and sci-fi. even outside of that we link up a lot “Ultimately, I love mixing things in the process of how we prepare up and playing different kinds for our films,” she reveals. “I often of characters so that I can keep struggle with how I want to play a people guessing. I don’t ever want character while I’m preparing for a to be known for playing one type of film, and even though that process woman, but I accept that when you is deeply personal it still helps to mingle too much into vastly different have someone at home who really genres it can leave you with a certain understands the business and all lack of identity.” your anxieties.”

“Somewhere in the middle is about There is little sign of uncertainty right—open to all types of stories and in the way Blunt is characters and without The Girl on the Train (2016); pursuing the next any absolutely fixed Mary Poppins Returns (2018) strategy when it comes phase in her career.

Primary Colours

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Emily Blunt and John Krasinski attend an awards ceremony

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to future projects. And I only work when I feel I really love the script and the role.”

old and I didn’t want to go; I had no investment in it.”

“However, I would like to believe there is some kind of higher energy that none of us know anything about.

I mean, there have definitely been times where I’ve put good thoughts out to the universe and willed something to happen, and said a prayer… not to a God, just put stuff out there. I feel like I do that a lot.”

There’s a sense that the partnership Blunt and her husband have built is one of Tinseltown’s most impermeable. They began dating back in November 2009 shortly after being introduced at a restaurant— Krasinski was dining with actor Justin Theroux. The pair have disagreed over who asked In an industry that has who out, but regardless, offered the actress “I WOULD they were engaged less so much, perhaps LIKE TO BELIEVE than a year later, and her only lingering THAT THERE wed in July 2010. frustration is the fact IS SOME KIND The ceremony was her great swathe OF HIGHER held at the former of work over the ENERGY THAT home of George past two decades is NONE OF US Clooney, at Lake always inexplicably KNOW ANYTHING Como, Italy. linked back to that ABOUT” Carving their own seminal breakthrough special day meant in The Devil Wears Prada. steering away from religious “I do get reminded about it convention—something that has a lot despite the fact it was so long never entirely appealed to Blunt, ago; but really, I don’t mind… it’s even if she admits to looking up to a not necessarily a bad thing. I owe so higher source from time to time. much to that film and the reaction “I didn’t grow up in a religious that people had to my work. The family—neither of my parents worst thing is if those same people went to a church or a synagogue would think I’m like that in real life, or anything like that. I had a very which I’m definitely not!” good friend who was from a Catholic “I like to think I have a good sense family, so when I stayed at her house of humour; I hope they’ll say that I’m on a Saturday night, I would go to funny and pleasant to be around. I’d church with her the next day, and to be mortified if anyone ever thought I be honest, I never enjoyed it. I felt was arrogant or standoffish.” like a fraud in there. I was eight years Trust us Emily, they don’t! n

MAY 2020 • 27

ENTERTAINMENT

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Millicent Martin

I REMEMBER… Millicent Martin, 85, is one of Britain’s most beloved entertainers, and has enjoyed success on both sides of the Atlantic. She looks back on her childhood in Essex, sharing an apartment with Julie Andrews and working with everyone from Michael Caine to Jane Fonda …MY VERY FIRST TIME ON STAGE WAS AS A BALL OF WOOL. We were singing “Ba Ba Black Sheep”— though I don’t recall where or why— and I was a three- or four-year-old in a sack with a red wool wig, with two other children, sat in a trolley that was pulled on stage.

I also remember that we had a lovely white bull terrier at home in Romford with the very imaginative name, “Snowy”. I’d put her in a pram

and wheel her around, as you would with a doll. But my memories of my early years are very limited, maybe because the war years came when I was five and everything was scary so I blocked it all out. …MY DAD WAS A MASTER BUILDER. He was brilliant. He had a photographic memory and he would draw out these elaborate blueprints for homes. Once he’d finished them MAY 2020 • 29

I REMEMBER…

Left to right: Millicent Martin, Ann Wakefield, Dilys Laye, Stella Claire, and Julie Andrews in The Boy Friend, 1954

and looked at them for 20 minutes he never had to look at them again; he’d build a home with all the measurements and everything in his head. And my mother was a mother.

She was funny, with a very dry sense of humour. …I SANG IN OLD PEOPLE’S HOMES FROM A YOUNG AGE. I’ve no idea how that came about but I recall saying to my family that I wanted to sing and I wanted to dance, so they subsequently put me into the Italia Conti stage school when I was five years old.

The war put the kibosh on that for a few years but when I was 12 30 • MAY 2020

I went back and stayed for the next four years. …MY FIRST PROFESSIONAL JOB WAS AS A DANCER. It was in a show called Blue for a Boy at Her Majesty’s Theatre in London in 1946, and I was in a dream sequence, floating around in a gorgeous blue dress. I did a few other things after that. Then, when I was doing Guys and Dolls at the Coliseum, one of the dancers, John Heawood, said, “I’ve choreographed a little show called The Boy Friend, they’re taking it to Broadway and I’d like you to come audition for it”.

I didn’t hear anything for a while, then I got a call saying I’d got the

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part. Luckily both shows shared the same producers so they were able to get me out of Guys and Dolls to free me up to go to Broadway in 1954. …I LOVED JULIE ANDREWS FROM THE MINUTE I MET HER. She was the lead in The Boy Friend and such a sweetheart. We shared an apartment on 57th Street, above an antique shop in a lovely part of New York. We got on like a house on fire and she remains what she calls a “chum” all these years later. …LANDING THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS WAS AMAZING. In 1962 Ned Sherrin cast me as resident singer on the show. We did a couple

of pilot episodes—the first of which ran for two or three hours—and then the BBC picked it up. It was tremendous fun, singing all these topical songs, and it turned me into a household name. …THE LONDON PALLADIUM SHOW KEPT ME BUSY IN THE SIXTIES. There were so many memorable guest stars and I especially loved working with Fess Parker, who was starring as Daniel Boone in the American TV show. He was around 7ft tall and I’m 5ft so we did this very funny dance number where

Singers Millicent Martin, Kathy Kirby, Cilla Black and Brenda Lee take time out for a chat during rehearsals for the Royal Varierty Performance at the London Palladium, November 1, 1964

I REMEMBER…

With Michael Caine in Alfie

he kept losing me because I was so short.

His wife was also very tall, as I discovered when he invited me to stay at his Los Angeles home.

Everything was built higher than usual, the kitchen counters were shoulder-height and they had little boxes for me to stand on.

32 • MAY 2020

…GETTING MY OWN TV SHOW IN 1964 WAS A DREAM COME TRUE. It was called Mainly Millicent, then Millicent, and it meant I got to dance surrounded by eight fabulous boys! I also got to do a James Bond skit with Roger Moore long before he took over from Sean Connery. Speaking of Sean Connery, I met him the

READER’S DIGEST

previous decade when I was in South Pacific at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane.

He was one of the boys in the show who wandered round bare-chested whittling wood. He was just gorgeous and as time went on we realised he was also really talented.

He had it all.

E N TE RTA I N ME N T P ICTU RE S / A LA MY STOCK PHOTO

…MICHAEL CAINE WAS A GREAT CO-STAR. I played a married woman he was having an affair with in the 1966 film Alfie and we were sitting in a car all night long in a coal yard, somewhere in London, for our big scene.

They wanted the windows steamed up so they kept pumping in hot air and it was so uncomfortable but, bless him, we sat and we chatted all night long. He kept me amused and as we were both from cockney families we had that in common. I haven’t seen him much since but whenever I do he always has a huge smile and a big hug for me. …I’VE WORKED WITH SO MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE OVER THE YEARS. I really enjoyed doing Hey Mr Producer with Maureen Lipman,

Una Stubbs and Julia Mackenzie and hanging out at Joe Allen’s, which is my favourite place to go whenever I’m in London, round the corner from the Lyceum Theatre. We all started out in the chorus in various shows—and indeed for the Noël Coward show Tonight at 8.30 Maureen was my understudy, plus Julia and I had done Side by Side by Sondheim—and it was wonderful getting to know them all better. …IT WAS MY HUSBAND MARC ALEXANDER’S VOICE THAT FIRST HOOKED ME. I met him at the opening night of Side by Side on Broadway when I was sitting at a table at Sardis and he introduced himself with this lovely, deep speaking voice. He explained he was a drama and singing coach and apparently I did everything he was trying to teach his students. I knew immediately this was a person I wanted to be with and we were married three months later. …BETTY WHITE TURNED OUT TO BE A BIG FAN. I met her when she came backstage after the show, when I did Side by Side by Sondheim in Los Angeles. We chatted away and she came back to see it again about six times. It got to a point where the stage door would open and I’d go, “You again!” That made her laugh.

I didn’t see her again for a few years, until I moved out to LA to do MAY 2020 • 33

I REMEMBER…

Millicent Martin in Frasier; (Right) Grace & Frankie

the soap Days of Our Lives in 2002, but she’s become one of my dearest friends. I was at her 98th birthday party recently and I love her to bits. …I WAS SO IMPRESSED BY LENA HORNE. We appeared together in one of the Song by Song shows I did, which featured the work of different composers. She was a fantastic performer and she had a great sense of humour about how whenever she did a movie it was always on her own, singing a song that had nothing to do with the rest of the film because they knew that when it got 34 • MAY 2020

to certain areas in America her scene would be removed. …WORKING ON FRASIER WAS A JOY. When I was asked to be on the number one television show, I was stunned, and I had such fun playing Daphne’s mum. They always say you enjoy a show from the top down— that if the stars and producers are nice people then everyone is happy—and we couldn’t have had a nicer team.

It’s the same with Grace and Frankie now. I originally went in for a guest spot but they must have liked

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READER’S DIGEST

what I did because they invited me back. Working with Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston—I don’t think you get any luckier than that. …GETTING A LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD WAS SUCH A THRILL. It was given to me by the Actors Fund a couple of years ago, along with awards for Charlotte Rae and Anne Jeffreys, and the presenter was Tommy Tune— another very tall man who dwarfed

over me like Fess Parker all those years before.

You know, I’m so happy that I still get to do a job I absolutely love, and I’m grateful for having such a varied career. I’ve even had my face on a $5 note, although that was only for an advert, not for real! n As told to Simon Button Grace And Frankie season six is streaming on Netflix. The seventh and final season is coming soon

A change of heart The stethoscope was invented by a French doctor named Rene Theophile Hyacinthe Laënnec in 1816, through surprising circumstances. Prior to the stethoscope, it was standard for doctors to tap their fingers on a patient’s chest in order to ascertain clues about their patient’s condition. When Rene was faced with treating a young female patient, this technique no longer seemed “proper”, so he improvised with a rolled up sheet of paper instead, and soon realised he was onto something…

SOURCE: TELEGRAPH.CO.UK

MAY 2020 • 35

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HEALTH

A R T IFICI A L IN T EL L IGENCE: DRI V ING T HE FU T URE OF HE A LT H A s i n n ov a t i o n a n d te ch n o l o g y co n t i n u e to re - s ha p e v i r t ua lly eve r y a s p e c t o f o u r eve r yday li ve s , h e a lt h c a re d o e s n’t l a g b e h i n d . Ta ke a l o o k a t t h e w ays we c a n ex p e c t a r t i f i cia l i n te l li g e n ce to t r a n s f o r m t h e h e a lt h c a re s ys te m o f t h e f u t u re

By Eva Mackevic

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A I : D R I V I N G T H E F U T U R E O F H E A LT H

Technology is continually opening new doors within healthcare, from simple things such as faster ways of booking a doctor’s appointment to such large-scale projects like developing preventative treatments for cancer, dementia and other illnesses. The latter is where artificial intelligence, or, "AI," really comes into play.

T

he term “AI” refers to advanced technologies that enable a computer to complete tasks that normally require human intelligence. These machines mimic “cognitive” functions that we typically associate with the human mind, such as “learning”, “sensing” and “problem solving,” through recognising intricate patterns within data.

Diagnosis, an understanding of the probability for presence of illness, depends on data, as medical journal, The Lancet explains. “Its collection, integration, and interpretation enables accurate classification of clinical presentations into an accepted disease category. Human diagnosticians achieve acceptable accuracy in such classification tasks through the learning of diagnostic rules, followed by training on real cases.”

In AI, on the other hand, artificial neural networks (so called because of their resemblance to human ones) detect the intricate structures and

40 • MAY 2020

patterns within large and complex sets of data, such as medical images, for example. Yet arguably the most fascinating feature of these “neural networks” is their ability to evolve on the basis of experience, ie, as they receive and process more and more data, their ability to recognise, classify and—most crucially—predict future patterns becomes more fine-tuned.

AI already spearheads the NHS’s "Long Term Plan", which aims to digitise much of the healthcare system and embrace cutting-edge technology, with £250m already invested in the creation of a NHS AI Lab. Here are some of the exciting new developments we can expect to be rolled out within the next decade or so…

EARLY WARNING FOR HEART ATTACKS More than 7 million people in the UK are living with heart and circulatory diseases, which cause more than a quarter of all deaths.* However, thanks * bhf.org.uk

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to the ground-breaking research being carried out by the University of Oxford, we are on our way to being able to predict fatal heart attacks with the use of AI. A heart attack occurs when the blood vessels that supply the heart get clogged with deposits of cholesterol, known as plaques. Before a heart attack, a plaque ruptures, causing a blood clot to develop at the site of the rupture. The clot may then block the supply of blood to the heart, triggering a heart attack. Current diagnostic tests only detect changes in the structure of the blood vessels once damage has already taken place. However, Professor Charalambos Antoniades at the University of Oxford aims to develop a new imaging method that will identify changes in the fat surrounding the blood vessels and use this to look for fatty plaques that are

unstable. If a plaque is unstable, it's at a higher risk of rupturing and blocking the blood supply.

“This is essentially a biomarker that predicts who will have a fatal heart attack with reasonable accuracy, and has the potential to guide treatments in the future, allowing us to enter the era of personalised medicine,” says Antoniades.

THE LINK BETWEEN SIGHT LOSS AND DEMENTIA Similar research utilising AI is currently being carried out in a collaborative project between the University College London and Moorfields Eye Hospital, called AlzEye. Siegfried Wagner, one of the project’s doctors-in-charge, notes that 50 per cent of cases in the developed world of the most common type of dementia, Alzheimer's disease, are not

Scans of retinal nerves might be a way of detecting early signs of Alzheimer's

MAY 2020 • 41

A I : D R I V I N G T H E F U T U R E O F H E A LT H

picked up. But why? “The diagnosis of dementia is challenging and relies on filling in a cognitive questionnaire, blood tests and complex expensive scans,” states Wagner. Instead, the research team chose to analyse the link between sight loss and dementia, as many people with neurodegenerative diseases have problems with their vision.

By studying a database of eye scans including details of patients’ retina alongside other vital health info, they hope to detect optical differences and see if they may be revealing signs of Alzheimer’s disease.

that an eye scan may provide a screening tool for the early detection of Alzheimer’s, however, this is yet to be proven," adds Wagner. Should the method prove feasible, it may serve as a cost-saving, yet effective alternative for people to screen for Alzheimer’s before it sets in.

IMPROVING DIAGNOSTICS

"For some time, we have known that people with Alzheimer’s have thinner retinal nerves. In 2018, research groups in the UK and the Netherlands found that people with thinner retinal nerves are more likely to perform worse on cognitive tests and to develop dementia years later. With this in mind, it seems conceivable

Most of us are familiar with the frustratingly lengthy process of medical testing: waiting for weeks for an appointment, then waiting some more for the results, which often come back inconclusive, meaning you have to repeat the entire process again.

Currently, almost two-thirds of clinical diagnoses are done manually, by means of a conventional optical microscope**. A combination of large amounts of samples and labourheavy methods impact not only the time it takes to complete but also the accuracy of the findings. According to Catherine Maskel, marketing director at the healthcare recruitment company, ID Medical, this will all soon change. “AI has the potential to improve accuracy in diagnostics, dramatically speed up the time it takes to receive a diagnosis and reduce the invasiveness of some diagnostic procedures,” she says.

AI super computers, for example, will be able to analyse your biosamples (such as saliva and blood), spot any minute deviations and diagnose your condition within

42 • MAY 2020

** Dr. AI—Bosch facilitates medical diagnosis with artificial intelligence, B o s ch-pre sse . de

AI COMPUTERS WILL BE ABLE TO DIAGNOSE YOUR CONDITION WITHIN MINUTES WITH 90 PER CENT ACCURACY

READER’S DIGEST

AI algorithms are capable of reading mammogram scans and steering radiologists in the right direction

minutes, with 90 per cent accuracy, meaning a huge relief for medical laboratory staff.

Companies such as Kheiron Medical also help radiologists accurately detect early signs of breast cancer through algorithms which make sense of the shapes and shades in a mammogram and steer the radiologist toward focusing on certain areas of the scan.

“As a surgeon, I know that doctors are humans,” says breast cancer surgeon, Dr Liz O’Riordan. “We make mistakes, we get tired, we miss things. If computers can be taught to accurately read mammograms, especially for a screening purpose, it releases 50 per cent of consultant radiologists to actually see the patients, do the scans and the biopsies. It also improves the accuracy of the reading.”

MENTAL HEALTH Mental health and well-being have been increasingly recognised as urgent problems in recent years.

In the UK alone, one in four adults experience a common mental health problem such as such as anxiety or depression at some point in their lives, and one in five adults will consider taking their own lives, according to the findings of the Mental Health Foundation. However, there’s a critical shortage of mental health staff within the NHS which impacts on the time it takes to access and get support for patients, with many people having to wait for weeks, or even months to see a therapist for a consultation.

A number of companies have been trying to fill this gap with various digital solutions. One such company is SilverCloud—a mobile platform that provides patients with personalised MAY 2020 • 43

A I : D R I V I N G T H E F U T U R E O F H E A LT H

Corti—the AIpowered listening tool that can help emergency personnel

clinical support by utilising machine learning and AI. They hope to identify patterns of successful therapy within data they’ve accumulated from more than 1 million hours of therapy, which will help them tailor digital therapeutics to cater to every individual’s unique personal needs and change how online therapy is delivered for the NHS. Another app developed in the US, MyCoachConnect, is an AI-driven voice application designed to collect personalised patient responses.

The application focuses primarily on the choice of words the patients use in their responses and how their responses change over time.

“Language provides information relating to an individual’s life experiences and is sensitive to underlying neuro-psychiatric states,” their report explains. “For 44 • MAY 2020

example, increased concrete word use in delirious states and reduced word fluency after sleep disruption has been observed. In the mental health domain, use of specific words including negative or positive emotion and first-person singular words have been associated with depressive states and exposure to traumatic events.”

GENOMICS Genomics might sound like something out of a science fiction horror story but it’s actually predicted to hugely impact health protection in various exciting ways.

Genomics is a field of biology focusing on the structure, function, evolution, mapping, and editing of genomes. A genome is an organism's complete set of DNA, including all of its genes. The illnesses that an

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individual experiences within their lifetime are largely dependent on genetics. That's why we’ve always strived to better understand our genetic makeup. Yet this progress was hindered by the complexity and sheer enormity of the data that needed to be evaluated. With advances in AI, researchers are better able to interpret and act on genomic data through genome sequencing and gene editing.

A genome sequence is a specific order of DNA building blocks in a living organism. Sequencing the genome is a critical first step to understanding it, and the latest technology allows the sequencing of DNA to occur in one day—a process that once took a decade. When changes are made to DNA at a cellular level, it’s called gene editing.

The combination of genomics and AI, as well as gene editing techniques, offers numerous possibilities within the healthcare sector, like curing genetic diseases, developing genetic screening tools for new-borns or deepening our pharmacogenetic knowledge for personalised intervention in many other diseases.

EMERGENCY SERVICES “AI is also being tested in medical emergencies, and it’s likely that it will soon play a large role in aiding medical professionals to dispatch emergency services to patients,” says Catherine Maskel of ID Medical.

When the emergency services receive a call about a suspected heart attack, they need to make a diagnosis, fast. With every passing minute, a patient’s chances of surviving drop by ten per cent. Voice recognition powered by AI can help the dispatchers make the right decision. As an example, Maskel mentions Corti—a Danish listening tool for hospitals based on AI. The tool listens in on emergency phone calls and is able to understand words used in distress and background sounds.

When it detects a sign of cardiac arrest, Corti provides the emergency personnel with suggestions for questions and recommendations

WITH EVERY PASSING MINUTE, A CARDIAC ARREST PATIENT'S CHANCES OF SURVIVING DROP

BY TEN PER CENT for action. Analysis of emergency calls involving cardiac arrest in Copenhagen in 2014, show Corti’s analysis was 30 seconds faster than that of human operators, with an accuracy rate of 93 per cent compared to 73 per cent for human operators, meaning a huge opportunity to save lives. n MAY 2020 • 45

HEALTH

RENEW YOUR ENERGY Better weather and lighter days are here again, so now is the time to rediscover your get-up-and-go Susannah Hickling is twice winner of the Guild of Health Writers Best Consumer Magazine Health Feature 46 • MAY 2020

Lose the snooze The snooze button is a comforting thing but it doesn’t do us any good at all. To feel and stay refreshed, you need to wake up and get up at the same time every day. There’s nothing restful about hitting snooze only to be woken with a start ten minutes later; your body doesn’t benefit from the extra ZZZs. A tip: keep the alarm far enough away that you have to get out of bed to turn it off. That will get you moving in the morning.

Ease into your day mindfully

Kick the afternoon caffeine

Use those extra minutes to start the morning slowly and calmly.

Beginning by sipping a coffee or cuppa and thinking about three things you’re grateful for.

Write them down. Banish each negative thought and replace it with a positive one—negative feelings take a lot of mental energy.

Mornings can be busy and stressful, but a soothing routine first thing will prevent exhaustion later.

You might be tempted to think that a cup of coffee will wake you up. Sure, it’ll give you a quick energy boost, especially if there’s sugar in it. But it’s short lived and when the caffeine wears off, you’ll be even more shattered than before. So how about a peppermint tea instead? It’s caffeine and calorie free, and the scent will revive you.

Get moving Exercise can boost energy, so get the blood flowing early in the day if you can. If there’s time for a trip to the gym or pool in the morning, that’s great, but even short routines work wonders. How about a five-minute stretch, for example?

Balance your breakfast Try to eat a mix of complex carbs like wholegrains, healthy fats and protein to ensure your energy is slow-released as you go through the day. Eggs, avocado and wholegrain toast make an excellent start to the day.

Hydrate and head outside Do you slump in the afternoon? A headache or fatigue are tell-tale signs of dehydration. Give yourself an energy fix by having a glass of water and going for a walk to get the blood flowing and wake yourself up.

Crunch on a carrot Carrots or other crunchy foods, such as celery, make your jaw work hard. This will wake up your facial muscles and help you feel more alert. Nibbling on chocs or crisps, on the other hand, will only offer more calories.

Take a break from the box Netflix is a great way to unwind in the evening and at weekends, but lying motionless on the couch is not always the best way to recharge your batteries. Give yourself a weekend break from the telly and commit to spending a few hours in green places instead. Research has found that spending time in nature can lower blood pressure and improve mental health and boost serotonin, a feelgood neurotransmitter often known as the “happy chemical”. n

For more weekly health tips and stories, sign up to our newsletter at readersdigest.co.uk MAY 2020 • 47

H E A LT H

Painful Piles

is blood when you poo—but not actually in it. You should see a doctor to rule out other causes of bleeding, especially if it doesn’t clear up in a few days. But you might also get an itchy bum or soreness, the sensation of needing to go to the loo again after having been, lumps around your anus, mucus in underwear or on toilet paper, and pain in your bottom area.

How do you treat them?

Haemorrhoids are common.

They’re thought to affect more than a third of people in the UK but, more often than not, we don’t dare to talk about our derrière

Haemorrhoids often get better on their own within a few days, but you can relieve them by taking a warm bath, using damp toilet paper (rather than wet wipes, which block sewage systems), using an ice pack wrapped in a towel, taking paracetamol and pushing any lumps back inside— gently. You can also get creams at the pharmacy.

So what are they?

What can you do to prevent piles?

Also known as piles, haemorrhoids are little lumps inside or outside your bottom. They’re swollen blood vessels caused, doctors think, by constipation and straining too much when you go to the toilet, by too much heavy lifting or by pregnancy. Getting older also makes piles more likely, as does having a persistent cough.

The usual lifestyle rules apply—drink lots of water and eat plenty of fibre, and exercise. This will combat constipation. Avoid painkillers with codeine, which also constipate.

Always go to the loo when you need to and don’t strain. Aim to be in and out in two minutes. So no sitting there scrolling through Facebook.

How do you know if you’ve got them?

persistent pain in the backside, go to the doctor. Non-surgical and surgical treatments are available. n

One of the more alarming symptoms 48 • MAY 2020

If your haemorrhoids become a

READER’S DIGEST

Ask The Expert: High Blood Pressure Professor Melvin Lobo is a hypertension specialist and director of the Bart’s Blood Pressure Clinic in London How did you become an expert on high blood pressure? I started

What can people do themselves to prevent or reduce hypertension?

training in general cardiology but became more interested in better ways of preventing cardiovascular disease rather than dealing with the aftermath, such as heart attacks and strokes. How circulation is regulated is endlessly fascinating and extraordinarily complex.

Non-drug approaches are very important. You should undertake dynamic cardiovascular exercise four to five times a week. Don’t smoke. If you’re hypertensive, increase fruit and vegetable consumption.

Keep to 14 units of alcohol a week.

Manage stress through breathing exercises, yoga or self-directed meditation apps.

What is high blood pressure?

It’s the pressure above the normal range that constitutes an increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

Pressure is generated within the circulation in order to drive blood from the heart to be distributed throughout the body via the arterial system and returned via the venous system. Arterial pressure should be less than 140/90.

Why is it important to reduce it? Uncontrolled high blood pressure is the number one risk factor for cardiovascular disease in the form of heart attacks, strokes, kidney disease, atrial fibrillation And it’s entirely treatable.

What new treatments are in the pipeline? The biggest development that’s around the corner is combining anti-hypertensive medicines into a single pill. The more pills people are prescribed, the less likely they are to take them. In the last decade, there’s been a movement towards interventional therapy, targeting the nerves that supply the kidney in a procedure called renal nerve ablation or renal denervation, and targeting the baroreflex, a set of nerve endings in the carotid artery. n For more information, go to hypertensionspecialist. co.uk MAY 2020 • 49

HEALTH

“D Love Is The Drug When she discovers her son’s addiction, a mother is forced to make impossible choices Max is a hospital doctor, author and columnist. He currently works full time in mental health for the NHS. His new book, The Marvellous Adventure of Being Human, is out now 50 • MAY 2020

o us a favour, Max,” asked the A&E nurse before vaguely waving a patient’s notes in front of me. I hesitated but then nodded in agreement. It’s much better to volunteer for jobs than to have them formally given to you as that way everyone is grateful and the gratitude of the nurses, especially, is invaluable if any doctor is going to survive a night shift working in A&E. It’s a fine line, though, between trying to help and being taken advantage of. “It’s a bloke who’s taken too much heroin” she explained, as though there was an acceptable amount of heroin for someone to take. She pointed over to a bed in the far corner of the department where a man was lying, his head lolling to one side, with a drip in his arm. Next to him sat a woman with her head bowed low.

“Who’s that?” I asked, pointing to the woman.

“Oh, it’s his mum. Poor thing. She called the ambulance. She found him unconscious after he’d been shooting-up”. I made my way over to the patient.

“Hello, Danny, I’m Max, one of the doctors”. He looked up at me, disinterested. I quickly ascertained that this wasn’t an intentional overdose, but rather he just wanted a bigger hit, and so had taken

more than usual. I explained that he needed to be monitored for a few hours, so he had to stay in the department. He shrugged his shoulders. I turned to his mum. She looked tired. “Let’s get a cup of tea,” I suggested and we went to the waiting area. I wondered out loud if she had only just realised that her son was a heroin addict. She looked at me.

“Of course I know. It’s all my fault,” she replied. I wondered what she meant. “I let him do it. I let him inject in my house. He’s been doing it for the past four years. I even brought him the bag of heroin”, she said, still crying. “I gave him the money, I always do. If I don’t, he steals and then he gets in trouble with the police”, she explains.

me. “What else could I do?” When faced with a dilemma like that, there’s no right or wrong answer. I’d have understood if she’d closed the door in his face. But I can understand why she didn’t. If I was in the same situation I don’t know what I’d do. For a doctor, heroin addicts are tremendously unlovable. They

She went on to tell me that she’s had to take on an extra job to help fund his habit. “He started using about five years ago. I hadn’t seen him for a year or so, and then I was out shopping and all of a sudden this man came up to me and tried to snatch my bag, and when I looked, it was him”, she said quietly. She took him home, cleaned him up and let him stay the night. The next morning, when she caught him injecting in the bedroom, it occurred to her that if she kicked him out, the next time she saw him might be on a mortuary slab.

“Did I do wrong by letting him stay?” she asked, looking directly at

take up your time and they’re often abusive. But it’s easy to forget that their choices don’t just impact on their own lives, but on the lives of their families. It dawns on me that she’s not actually upset about his overdose, she’s upset about the choices she’s had to make; the fact that she’s condoning something that’s destroying her life and her son’s.

Today was simply the last straw.

“What should I have done, doctor?” she asked me. I don’t know. There’s a fine line between trying to help and being taken advantage of. But I suppose when you love someone, that line gets blurred. n

“I EVEN BOUGHT HIM THE BAG OF HEROIN.

IF I DON’T GIVE HIM THE MONEY, HE GETS IN TROUBLE WITH THE POLICE”

MAY 2020 • 51

HEALTH

The Doctor Is In Dr Max Pemberton Q: I’m due to have a hip replacement soon and have been given a list of dos and don’ts by the hospital. One of them is that I should sleep on my back for at least six weeks after the operation—but I have never, ever been one to sleep on my back. If I ignore the advice will I really suffer extreme consequences?—William, 74 A: We tend to be creatures of habit and have set ways that we feel comfortable when getting to sleep.

The prospect of having to change this after surgery often triggers a lot of anxiety. It almost becomes a selffulfilling prophecy that the patient is going to struggle to drop off because they’re so worried about it, it keeps them awake.

Lots of people find it helpful to practise lying in the position they need to adopt for recovery—in your case, on your back. Start by doing it for just a few minutes each night, then switching to your usual position. Over time, people often find 52 • MAY 2020

they start to get used to the new position and drift off before they’ve moved back. It’s generally considered best to not lie on the affected side for at least six weeks or until your surgeon says it’s OK. Listen to your body and only lie on your operated side when it feels comfortable. The risk is damage to the hip replacement which can cause a lot of problems, so it’s important to stick to the advice.

Sleep is important for recovery so make sure you’re getting adequate amounts. This might sound obvious but people don’t always appreciate the pain they will be in after surgery and how this can impact on their sleep. So, make sure you ask for adequate painkillers—people sometimes feel they should “soldier-on” and put on a brave face but this can cause lots of problems, meaning recovery takes longer and also impacts your sleep. n Got a health question for our resident doctor? Email it confidentially to askdrmax@ readersdigest.co.uk illustration by Javier Muñoz

HEALTH

Stop Your Memories Escaping!

Tip-of-the-tongue moments can enrich your recall, says our memory expert, Jonathan Hancock

M

y friend Charlie and I were reminiscing about an old TV show recently, when we realised that neither of us could remember the main actor’s name. We both knew we knew it.

We could picture the woman—even hear her voice. But the name just wouldn’t come.

“Tip-of-the-tongue” experiences like these are common, and often frustrating. However, if you use them well, they can do great things for your mental fitness. And they also have a lot to tell you about how memory works, through connections, associations, and a variety of other powerful—but often highly unpredictable—prompts and clues.

We took different approaches as we hunted for the name. I focused on the actor’s initials, which somehow seemed to be within reach. But Charlie had a stronger feeling about how many syllables were in the 54 • MAY 2020

name, so he tried to reconstruct it that way. He also went through some other names that came to mind, even though he knew they weren’t right.

Meanwhile, I’d started wondering whether the actor might have links with Italy. That thought was nudging me closer to success…

When suddenly, through our different routes, we both remembered the actor’s name. We’d put our brains through a workout and proved that we could turn the complex interconnections of memory to our advantage, following a treasure-trail of links to reach our goal.

Try these tips the next time you can’t remember someone’s name: • Try to summon up their initials, looking through the alphabet for letters that seem right.

• Think about the “shape” of the name—the number of syllables in it, its rhythm or length.

• Use any other feelings you have about it, such as whether it seems old-fashioned or modern.

• Focus on any wrong answers that come to mind, since they may offer extra connections or clues.

• Finally, if nothing else works, think about something else. Often that allows your memory the time and freedom to make the connections.

Don’t be put off if key information seems to fly away whenever you get near. Keep tracking it, confident that it’s in there somewhere, and that you’ll grasp it before long. n

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HEALTH

Misconceptions, common symptoms and treatment options

by Anna Sharratt

E

pilepsy is often misunderstood.

Although many people believe that all epileptic attacks involve a violent seizure—with the person falling to the ground and convulsing—the neurological disease takes many different forms.

Ley Sander, medical director of the UK’s Epilepsy Society and professor of

56 • MAY 2020

neurology at University College London, says that though these “tonic-clonic” seizures—formerly referred to as “grand mal”—are indeed common, there are others. “In fact, there are over 40 different types of seizures,” he adds, which include ones where a person stares blankly and doesn’t respond when talked to, and others that cause the muscles to contract so the body becomes rigid.

Epileptic seizures occur when electrical signals in the brain malfunction. They fall under two

photo: istock.com/iLexx

The Many Faces Of Epilepsy

broad categories: generalised, involving the entire brain, or focal, affecting only part of it. While some people only ever experience one seizure (which can be triggered by a brain illness, stroke or tumour) at least two seizures not linked to these issues are generally required for an epilepsy diagnosis.

Fifty million people worldwide have epilepsy. It can affect anyone, and can run in the family. Children will sometimes outgrow it, but for those who have seizures into adulthood, there are treatments and

THERE ARE OVER 40 DIFFERENT TYPES OF EPILEPTIC SEIZURES medications to reduce its impact.

“For two thirds of people with epilepsy, their seizures will be controlled by medication,” says Sander, explaining that there are more than two dozen drugs for epilepsy, with newer ones having fewer side effects. For patients who fail to respond to treatment, and the area of the brain responsible for the seizures can be identified, surgery is an option. “We have pioneered functional MRI at Epilepsy Society to accurately map the brain in order to

guide safer surgery,” says Sander.

Seventy per cent of those who have surgery, which often involves removing a portion of the brain's temporal lobe, become seizure-free, while 20 per cent find their seizures are reduced; for ten per cent, there is no improvement.

For those with severe epilepsy, a vagus nerve stimulator implant may help, says Sander. Like a pacemaker that regulates the heart’s rhythm, this device, placed in the neck, can send mild pulses of electricity to prevent seizures when they are coming on.

What Sander finds most promising, is the use of whole genome sequencing. “Although still in its infancy, we are beginning to pinpoint areas of our DNA that contribute to epilepsy and which ones may indicate a different course of medication, particularly for people with the most severe cases,” he says.

The good news is that many forms of epilepsy are treatable, and lots of people with the condition lead normal lives. Often, they can control their epilepsy through lifestyle modifications, whether that’s avoiding alcohol or minimising triggers such as stress and sleep deprivation.

If you witness a convulsive seizure, he suggests you “calm, cushion and call”—relax the person using a gentle voice, support their head with your hands or a piece of clothing, and phone for help if the seizure lasts more than five minutes. n MAY 2020 • 57

INSPIRE

Is

Monogamy

Natural?

by Jessica Lone Summers

With 42 per cent of UK marriages ending in divorce, and a fifth of Brits now declaring themselves polyamorous, it’s easy to start questioning whether the ritual of love we’ve chosen for so long is the best course for the future, and, if it was ever "natural" in the first place...

74

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I S M O N O G A M Y N AT U R A L?

F

rom an early age most of us are sold a fairy tale. That one soulmate is waiting for us, somewhere in the world, and it’s our sole mission in life to find them. Most often, this whimsical story is narrated as a woman pining for a man but—as our society is finally beginning to recognise—love can bloom between all genders. Even so, whoever the love may be between, the long-standing and unquestionably accepted form of love has always been a couple. But despite the glossy exterior of the monogamous lifestyle, there have always been cracks.

As a civilisation we’re promiscuous to say the least. Stories of married CEOs sleeping with their secretaries, celebrities having steamy affairs with their co-stars and students running after each other in night clubs have long circulated among us. And yet, we view humanity in essence as strictly monogamous, the rest classed as “being young and foolish” at best, and immoral at worst. Slip-ups, dalliances and flirtations are bound to happen— apparently, we simply can’t keep our hands off one another.

It gets hazy, however, when emotions come in. While playing with hearts, “love triangles” arise and we’re advised to choose one or lose both. We scoff at the prospect of being in love with more than one person, and couples’ arguments ensue over who was ogling who.

60 • MAY 2020

Lola Phoenix, who runs the weekly podcast Non-Monogamy Help, thinks lust actually has very little to do with being non-monogamous. “The reason I've chosen non-monogamy is because I want to have multiple romantic relationships as well as a good balance of ‘me time’ in life. Some people feel they have so much love to give, that being monogamous doesn't work for them.

I could be monogamous, I suppose, but [it would] depend on how that monogamy was practised. I could never be in a relationship where I was expected to suppress attraction for anyone else but my partner.”

“Non-monogamy for me is less about finding everyone attractive,” Lola expands, “and more about finding so few people attractive that, when I do find that person and they also like me, I want the ability to explore that. I also enjoy my own company and personal autonomy, so I’m fine with not having romantic partners who spend the majority of their time focusing on me.” stories of ancient Greek and Roman civilisations who were free to have as many lovers as they pleased have long circulated in the media. And in recent years,

the question of whether the monogamous reality we’ve created for ourselves is in fact “natural” has been ever more prevalent.

Lecturer of evolutionary anthropology at Bristol University, Kit Opie, who has researched the evolution of social systems in humans and other primates for years, reveals that humans are naturally monogamous, but our contemporary definition of it might be slightly flawed. He indicates that while monogamy is natural, fidelity isn’t necessarily an integral component of that. “People get very uptight about monogamy and there is a sense that monogamy as a mating system is only true if it’s lifelong, and there is never any sex outside of the monogamous pair,” he explains.

“People can have that definition if they like, but that’s not what we find across primates, mammals or birds.

For example, 90 per cent of bird species are monogamous but there are reasonably high rates of ‘extra pair copulations’ and that’s also true across other primate species.

If people want to say that monogamy only describes a lifelong pair with no infidelity or extra copulation, then you’ve got a very restricted view of monogamy.”

It’s evident—given the population’s preoccupation with finding “the one”—that whatever your stance may be, we’re quite contained in MAY 2020 • 61

I S M O N O G A M Y N AT U R A L?

our views towards relationships.

Take our utter fascination with the reality shows that spin the meaning of heterosexual monogamous love into something so unbelievably important that people will do any number of demeaning TV tasks just to find it. Blind Date, Love Island, The Bachelor, First Dates and most recently Netflix’s Love Is Blind (which saw contestants profess their love and get engaged without ever having met each other), are all accountable for prolonging the stereotype of love in a way that’s so twinkly and admirable, anyone might feel unaccomplished without it.

While these shows are often scripted and meant for no other purpose than entertainment, it does highlight the value we put on finding a sole significant other.

From an evolutionary standpoint, monogamy tends not to make sense for most species; the gestational period for females is significantly longer than the amount of time it takes for males to produce sperm so they’re more likely to want to spread their genes than wait. Equally, for the females, it could increase the overall mortality rates of their offspring if they’re resistant to different diseases through having different fathers.

However, humans have favoured a monogamous way of living for thousands of years and for the most part—it’s a system that works.

62 • MAY 2020

Opie illuminates how our devotion to monogamy might have started in the first place. “Looking at the pattern of mating system change across the last 75 million years of primate evolution gives us an understanding of the drivers of those changes. What I’ve found

“OF 300 PRIMATE GROUPS, 30 PER CENT ARE MONOGAMOUS”

from my research is that of all 300 primate groups, 30 per cent of them are monogamous—which is very unusual for a species. That driver to monogamy is infanticide, which has a huge impact on primate mating systems. It’s likely that during human evolution this happened to our ancestors, when there were very high levels of infanticide as there are across all the great ape species.”

“Our ancestors’ way of dealing with this was very different compared with our closest relatives, the chimpanzees and bonobos, who went to extreme promiscuity” he explains. “The females mated with as many males as possible in order to confuse paternity and therefore give every male the idea that the

READER’S DIGEST

offspring might be theirs. Our ancestors, however, would give quite a lot of certainty around paternity because it was very important to get males to not only protect the infants from infanticide but also to provide resources for the female.”

Since then, countless cultures have formed and ways of living have matured so it’s curious that we hold onto this specific ideology when so many other variables have altered, and the quality of infant life has vastly improved. Opie thinks that religion had quite a hand in it, and for rather a remarkable reason.

“In certain religions like modern Christianity, there has been the idea of this ideal state of affairs where a pair get married and remain faithful

until death do they part— which is a very recent suggestion. In fact, the Christian church started off as an anti-marriage religion, teaching that men in particular shouldn't marry. Sex was permitted, but the day of judgment was coming very soon and men needed to worship their God and Jesus. This was the most important thing and marriage was simply going to distract them, so it wasn’t encouraged in the least.”

“In fact,” Opie continues, “it seems as though the Christian church later got involved in marriage in a rather peculiar way; they were concerned about what was happening to women who were getting divorced.

Men were divorcing women and leaving them completely destitute, leaving the church to pick up the pieces. Nunneries were places where aristocratic women could go after they’d been divorced, but this was becoming a huge financial concern.

So, similar to a modern-day child support agency, they ensured men would actually play their part by introducing divorce settlements upon marriage agreements.”

However unromantic the church's involvement may seem now, the success in protecting women from MAY 2020 • 63

I S M O N O G A M Y N AT U R A L?

penury and holding men accountable before they committed to marriage might have been the starting point for what today remains a successful monogamous society.

The idea of polyamorous love, whether strictly sexual or deeply romantic, is not a new concept by any means, yet its mention in our culture will often be met with pursed lips or stifled giggles, something that many in the nonmonogamous community have to deal with every day. And it’s not surprising—with documentaries such as Sister Wives (2010) and Three Wives One Husband (2017) sensationalising Mormon families who choose to practise polygamy, it can be hard for onlookers to get a balanced view of a different way of living. Then there are the men such as Warren Jeffs, the president of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints who exploited polygamy to lead a cultlike lifestyle, leaving his wives and children exposed to abuse—he was convicted in 2011.

Depraved stories such as this are far more commonly told in the media than wholesome, loving, consensual polyamory which only fuels the 64 • MAY 2020

misconceptions, and overlooks the fact that monogamous relationships can be just as harmful.

Dedeker Winston, author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory observes the reason why polyamorous people are often misunderstood. “There are a lot of people who conflate [polyamory] with casual dating or cheating and that’s because with the mainstream models of multi-partner practice, those are the two things that have been represented the most.

But neither of those are accurate representations of what highfunctioning polyamory actually is. There’s far more trust and communication than people think.”

Winston, who also hosts the

READER’S DIGEST

podcast Multiamory goes on to elaborate on one of the most notable points brought up when discussing non-monogamy for the first time—jealousy.

“There’s a lot of talk of jealousy around being polyamorous. But we feel envious in many more situations than just in romantic or sexual ways. We feel jealous of co-workers, siblings and friends, when they have something we want but we have more socially acceptable coping mechanisms for dealing with it, often getting advice such as ‘be grateful for what you have,’ or ‘use it to inspire you.’ For some reason with romantic jealousy we don’t use it for growth, we’re told to avoid it at all costs, and that it’s toxic.”

“Underneath the jealousy it’s very rarely that plain and simple, there can be sadness from feeling left out, there can be anger. There can be insecurities that come up or some past trauma. Jealousy is just another human emotion—even after doing this for ten years I still get jealous, it still comes up but it feels less like fighting a dragon and more like an annoying cat.”

Of course, human emotions are the highlight and the downfall of any relationship worth having and as Phoenix elaborates, no option you choose will be easy. “Non-monogamy comes with downsides, definitely.

Sometimes it can be lonely since schedules don't always match up.

I loathe dating and it's a pain to not be ‘done’ with it. I don't enjoy what feels like pressure to get along with my partner's partners and it can mean you have double or triple the in-laws.

But that's an aspect of any life choice, everything comes with pros and cons.”

Winston expands, “There’s such a

“THERE'S A HUGE SPECTRUM TO NONMONOGAMY AS WELL AS MONOGAMY”

huge spectrum to non-monogamy as well as a spectrum to monogamy, that’s the thing that people don’t really think about".

"For some people, monogamy means their partner shouldn’t engage with pornography, and for some people monogamy means their partner could kiss somebody while drunk and that’s fine. Even within monogamy there’s a spectrum of how people practise it.”

However much we delve into our past to decipher what’s “supposed to be” and what isn’t, one thing becomes blindingly clear: humans are curious animals, capable of bending the rules to our will. And what better reason could there be to bend the rules, than for love? n MAY 2020 • 65

INSPIRE

66

BEST

OF

h

Britis

VIRTUAL C U LT U R E

by Anna Walker

With coronavirus keeping many of us in social lockdown, it can be tricky to find time for a dose of culture. These seven virtual tours will bring Britain’s cultural institutions to your front room, allowing you to step out of the house without opening your front door

The British Museum LONDON

Google Maps and Google Arts and Culture have joined forces to offer three different virtual tours of Britain’s most famous museum. The classic Google Maps "street view" tour allows users to take virtual trips of both the exterior of the gallery and inside the museum itself, for the closest digital experience to a real visit. If you’d rather browse thematically, then Google Arts has you covered, allowing you to browse by topic, location, textile and exhibit. We particularly recommend the online exhibition, Egypt: Faith After the Pharaohs, which offers a fascinating insight into the ways the arrival of the Romans influenced Egyptian conceptions of religion and worship, heralding in eras of Christianity and Islam.

Visit artsandculture.google.com/partner/the-britishmuseum for all three options 67

Photo by Pauline Loroy on Unsplash

BEST OF BRITISH

The Natural History Museum LONDON

Drag your mouse around the iconic entrance hall to Britain’s Natural History Museum (Dippy the diplodocus dinosaur and all) to begin your journey around this fascinating and vast museum. Alcoves offer unexpected treasures such as gigantic mammoth skulls and beautifully taxidermied tropical birds, so be sure to explore every nook and cranny.

Bold images at the foot of the page allow you to jump to museum highlights, should you not fancy 68 • MAY 2020

clicking your way through the collection in its entirety. Be sure to pull your view upwards in the main entrance gallery (the Hintze Hall), to take in the intricate details of the beautiful ceiling panels.

And if you’d like a more up-to-date view of the museum, an alternative tour is available featuring Dippy’s replacement, the giant blue whale who remains known as “Hope”.

Visit artsandculture.google.com/ partner/natural-history-museum

Stonehenge and Avebury World Heritage Site WILTSHIRE

Feeling the urge to connect with a more primal form of life since beginning your isolation? Look no further than a virtual tour of Stonehenge, the best-known prehistoric monument in Europe. Take in man-made history dating back 4,500 years as you guide yourself around the ancient stones. This virtual tour actually takes users closer to the monument itself than real-life tours now allow, due to recent restrictions put in place to protect the prehistoric stones.

Take yourself inside the ancient circle, study the patterns on the rocks and challenge your imagination to think up

a reason for their existence. And, when you’ve finished with your tour, take some time to review the virtual 30 Objects / 30 Years exhibition, which tells the story of this unique Unesco World Heritage Site through 30 incredible objects discovered nearby, including the trowel used by the flamboyant millionaire Alexander Keillers when he first excavated the stone circle in the 1930s.

Visit artsandculture.google.com/ partner/stonehenge-and-aveburyworld-heritage-site

BEST OF BRITISH

National Football Museum MANCHESTER

Missing your Saturday football fix? Fill your sports craving with a virtual visit to Manchester’s National Football Museum. While you can’t take a virtual tour here, Google Arts and Culture has created a digital archive of much of what’s on show, and it’s easy to while away the hours exploring the fascinating collection.

Among the current exhibitions is The Fascinating History of the Women’s World Cup, which tells the oftenoverlooked history of the beautiful 70 • MAY 2020

game from the perspective of its female players, beginning with unofficial tournaments through to becoming the global phenomenon of today. The exhibition includes interviews with legendary England players, such as Chris Lockwood, who played in the second ever (though then still unofficial) Women’s World Cup, hosted in Mexico.

Visit artsandculture.google.com/ partner/nationalfootballmuseum

READER’S DIGEST

The Scottish National Gallery EDINBURGH

Dip into the life and legend of Mary Queen of Scots or go hunting for the real monarch of the Glen through the digital exhibitions by the Scottish National Gallery. The museum has a vast online collection, spanning Baroque, Impressionism, Modern Art and Classical Romanticism.

Browse through some 92 paintings, organising them chronologically to take a travel back through Scottish history, by popularity to see if you agree with

the majority favourites, or arrange them by colour palette, to satisfy even the biggest hunger for aesthetically pleasing order. Our favourite piece has to be Arthur Melville’s Cabbage Garden, from 1877, which depicts an appropriately social-distanced chat between two neighbours over the fruits of the cabbage harvest. Delightful!

Visit artsandculture.google.com/ partner/scottish-national-gallery

MAY 2020 •103 71

BEST OF BRITISH

Bletchley Park MILTON KEYNES

Once the secret home of the most important code-breakers of the Second World War—including Alan Turing—this heritage park can now be explored from the comfort of your own home. Explore the outside gardens before clicking through the front door to picture yourself in the shoes of the nervous geniuses who crossed the threshold with the dream of using their intelligence to bring the war to a close.

There are also a number of fascinating digital exhibitions telling the

72 • MAY 2020

stories of the real men and women who called Bletchley Park home.

This tour is perhaps best paired with a viewing of the Academy Award-winning Alan Turing biopic, The Imitation Game (available through YouTube for £2.49) or The Bletchley Circle (streaming on Netflix), a drama series that follows the lives of four women working as codebreakers in the park.

Visit artsandculture.google.com/ partner/bletchley-park

READER’S DIGEST

Black Cultural Archives

M AR K LON G A I R/FL I CKR

LONDON

The Black Cultural Archives is dedicated to collecting, preserving and celebrating the histories of Britain’s black community. The more tech savvy among us can explore the museum through a virtual reality tour using the Google Arts and Culture app. For everyone else, a wonderfully detailed virtual tour is available through desktop computers, taking you room by room through this fascinating museum.

Be sure to make time to explore some of the digital archives on offer, from The Black Women’s Movement, to Brixton Uprising 1981 and The Black Power

Movement. A History of Notting Hill Carnival makes for an especially colourful exploration, tracing the origins of the festival from Caribbean carnivals to the arrival of the Windrush Generation, thriving despite continuous negative press and attempts to shut the festivities down.

Visit artsandculture.google.com/ partner/black-cultural-archives What have you been doing during lockdown? Email readersletters@ readersdigest.co.uk and let us know MAY 2020 • 73

If I Ruled The World I’d find an antidote to coronavirus to alleviate people’s fears so they wouldn’t get panicked or stressed.

Obviously, there have been a lot of fatalities and a lot of people have lost their lives unnecessarily, so it would be amazing to be able to get rid of the virus and take the panic and worry away, especially for the elderly people within our society who are most vulnerable. That’s also why we’re doing our bit by donating all the profits from our first single to Age UK. Moving forward, we would look back on all this with a positive slant. Yes, it would be easy and understandable to look back with negativity and insecurity but we should also be able to take some positives from it—the main one being that there’s no better gift you can give anybody than the gift of your time.

We’ve all had to spend weeks locked away in isolation with our families and that’s not a negative thing, it’s 74 • MAY 2020

Former Boyzone singer Keith Duffy has now teamed up with ex-Westlife member Brian McFadden to form Boyzlife. The duo are donating proceeds from their debut single, “You Needed Me” to Age UK something we don’t set aside enough time to do unless we’re forced to do so. The forced time I’ve had with my family has ended up being an absolute joy, having the undivided attention of my children while we’ve all been at home together, getting to know each other again and learning how we can help each other.

We’d cherish the planet more. I only know what I’ve read and seen on the news, but since this pandemic hit— with all these factories shutting down and nobody on the roads unless absolutely necessary—emissions have been hugely reduced. People in Italy say they can see blue skies and the sun shining when they couldn’t

INSPIRE before, and there are parts of China where they can now see the stars at night because the earth is starting to heal itself.

themselves instead of being happy and content with who they are. In my opinion, the most attractive parts of someone are their imperfections.

We’d change our day-to-day habits.

We don’t all need to go out to work every day when we can work from home and we don’t need to be in our cars all the time.

I’d encourage everyone to enjoy sport and social activities once the crisis is over. Playing golf, bowling…

The things we used to take for granted that we can’t do at the moment—playing sports together, going to matches, doing amateur dramatics—will be all the more precious when, please God, this whole thing is over. When you have the opportunity to socialise again you should make the most of it.

As the father of a child with autism, I’d encourage us all to appreciate and celebrate the people we have in our lives. When you talk about a child with a disability of course you worry about them, but sometimes you have to stop mourning the child that you thought you were going to have and embrace the child you do have. The more we start embracing people with disabilities, the better the world will be.

Social media needs to be better regulated. So-called “keyboard warriors” shouldn’t be allowed to prey on vulnerable people and cyber bully them. There should be some kind of verification process and not just for celebrities and high-profile people, who can currently get a verification badge. Social media can be a very worthwhile tool but as we all know it can also be very negative because it puts so much pressure on younger people to be a “better” version of

I’d remind people of the words of the Bible: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you”.

In other words, treat people the way you’d like to be treated yourself. If everyone were to practise that, the difference it would make would be phenomenal. We all like to be treated well, we all like to be treated with kindness, we all like being able to make somebody smile. n As told to Simon Button The Boyzlife single “You Needed Me” is out now. The album Strings Attached is out on May 29. Tour tickets are on sale now. For more information visit boyzlife.co MAY 2020 • 75

Video interviews in your home, start within 7 days

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It is the best gift I could have given my family.”

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W

ith more time at home to remember and reflect upon your memories and life experiences, self-isolation provides an opportunity to re-live your life stories and share your treasured memories with your family and loved ones. Starting your private autobiography now will not only provide a welcome distraction from the news but it can connect you with your family as you rediscover and share memories. LifeBook are here to help you create a precious book about your life, one that you will be proud to have written, a permanent record, preserved forever for your family.

The greatest gift you can leave your children and grandchildren is your life story

Your family will love discovering things they never knew about you, about your parents, your grandparents, your childhood, your life and their family history.

Whatever your life story may be, it is a story worth telling and sharing with your loved ones.

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HEALTH

Eat Well, Save The Planet How to shop, cook and eat in a warming world

By Julia Moskin, Brad Plumer, Rebecca Lieberman and Eden Weingart Adapted From the New York Times

79

E AT W E L L , S AV E T H E P L A N E T

Yes. The world’s food system is responsible for about one-quarter of the planet-warming greenhouse gases that humans generate each year. That includes raising and harvesting all the plants, animals and animal products we eat—beef, chicken, fish, milk, lentils, kale, corn and more—as well as processing, packaging and shipping food to markets all over the world.

How exactly does food contribute to global warming?

Four of the biggest ways: When forests are cleared to make room for farms and livestock, large stores of carbon are released into the atmosphere, which heats up the planet. When cows, sheep and goats digest their food, they burp up methane, another potent greenhouse gas. Animal manure and rice paddies

80 • MAY 2020

are also big methane sources. Finally, fossil fuels are used to operate farm machinery, make fertiliser and ship food around the globe, all of which generate emissions.

Which foods have the largest impact?

Meat and dairy, particularly from cows, have an outsized impact, with livestock accounting for around 14.5 per cent of the world’s greenhouse gases each year. That’s roughly the same amount as the emissions from all the cars, trucks, airplanes and ships combined in the world today.

A major study published in 2018 in the journal Science calculated the average greenhouse gas emissions associated with different foods. In general, beef and lamb have the biggest climate footprint per gram of protein, while plant-based foods like beans, pulses, grains and soy tend to have the smallest impact.

Pork, chicken, eggs and molluscs like clams, oysters and scallops are somewhere in the middle.

These are only averages. Beef raised in the US generally produces fewer emissions than beef raised in Brazil or Argentina. Certain cheeses can have a larger greenhouse

illustrations by Gracia Lam/The New York Times

Does what I eat really have an effect on climate change?

READER’S DIGEST

gas impact than a lamb chop. And some experts think these numbers may actually underestimate the impact of deforestation associated with farming and ranching.

Is there a simple food choice I can make that would reduce my climate footprint?

Consuming less red meat and dairy will typically have the biggest impact for most people in wealthy countries. A number of studies have concluded that people who currently eat a meat-heavy diet could shrink their food-related footprint by one-third or more by moving to a vegetarian diet.

Giving up dairy would reduce those emissions even further. If you don’t want to go that far, simply eating less meat and dairy, and more plants, can reduce emissions.

Keep in mind that food consumption is often only a small fraction of a person’s total carbon footprint: there’s also driving, flying and home energy use to consider.

But dietary changes are often one of the quickest ways for many people to lighten their impact on the planet.

I’m just one person! Can I really make much of a difference all by myself?

It’s true that one person alone can

make only a tiny dent in the global climate problem. Food isn’t even the biggest contributor to global warming; most of it is caused by burning fossil fuels for electricity, transportation and industry.

On the other hand, if many people made changes to their diets, that could start to add up. As the world’s population keeps growing, farmers and ranchers will need to curb their emissions and grow more food on less land to limit deforestation.

Experts have argued that it would make a big difference if the world’s heaviest meat eaters scaled back even moderately, helping to free up land to feed everyone else.

Why does meat have such a big climate impact?

It’s often more efficient to grow crops for humans to eat than it is to grow crops for animals to eat and then turn those animals into food for humans. A 2017 study MAY 2020 • 81

E AT W E L L , S AV E T H E P L A N E T

by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organisation concluded that, on average, it takes about three kilograms of grain to raise one kilogram of meat.

Beef and lamb have an especially large climate footprint for another reason: the stomachs of cows and sheep contain bacteria that help them digest grass and other foods.

But those bacteria create methane, that is then released through burps (and a bit of flatulence).

What about chicken?

A number of studies have found that poultry have a lesser climate impact than other livestock. Modern-day chickens are bred to be extremely efficient at converting feed into meat.

That’s not to say chicken is perfect: industrial-scale poultry operations still create water pollution and have prompted major concerns about animal welfare. But chicken usually produces far fewer emissions than beef and a bit fewer than pork.

82 • MAY 2020

Should humans stop eating meat altogether?

Not necessarily. A number of experts have argued that a sustainable food system can and should still include plenty of animals. Cows and other livestock, after all, can often be raised on pasture that would otherwise be unsuitable for growing crops, and they eat crop residues that would otherwise go to waste. They produce manure that we can use as fertiliser. And animal agriculture provides livelihoods for some 1.3 billion people worldwide. In many countries, meat, eggs and milk offer a vital source of nutrition when there aren’t good alternatives available.

That said, there are also millions of people around the world who currently eat far more meat than they need to for a healthy diet, according to a recent report in the medical journal The Lancet.

What about “fake meat”?

New plant-based meat substitutes made from vegetables, starches, oils and synthesised proteins attempt to mimic the taste and texture of meat. While the jury is still out on whether these products are any healthier, they may have a smaller environmental footprint: one recent study estimated that a

READER’S DIGEST

Beyond Burger, popular in the US, had just onetenth the climate impact of a beef burger.

Are there other ways meat could become more climate-friendly?

Yes. Advances in animal breeding, veterinary care, feed quality and grazing systems are helping to shrink the climate footprint of livestock operations. The US, for example, produces more beef today than it did in 1975 even though the total number of cattle has declined by about one-third.

There’s a lot of room for further improvement. Some scientists are even trying to figure out how to get cows to emit less methane by introducing seaweed or other feed additives to their diet.

These efforts will be critical for putting meat production on a more sustainable footing.

pork. Molluscs are also great lowcarbon choices.

On the other hand, wild shrimp and lobster can have a larger impact than chicken or pork, because pulling them in demands extra fuel for the fishing boats.

There is a huge caveat to all wild seafood, though: most fisheries are being fished at their maximum sustainable level, while others are being overexploited. So there’s not a lot of room for everyone in the world to increase their wild fish consumption.

What kinds of seafood should I eat?

Is farmed seafood a good long-term plan?

Wild fish often have a relatively small climate footprint, with the main source of emissions being the fuel burned by fishing boats. One recent analysis found that a number of popular wild fish—anchovies, sardines, herring, pollock, cod, haddock—have, on average, a lower carbon footprint than chicken or

Fish farming can sometimes be a climate-friendly option, particularly for molluscs, but it isn’t always.

In places like Norway that have tight environmental regulations, farmed fish can have relatively low impact. But in parts of Southeast Asia, producers are clearing away mangrove forests to make way MAY 2020 • 83

E AT W E L L , S AV E T H E P L A N E T

for shrimp farms, which leads to a big increase in emissions. And some fish farms in China have produced enormous quantities of methane. There are promising efforts underway to make fish farming more climate-friendly, but there’s still a long way to go in many parts of the world.

footprint might not fall as much as you expect.

Are some kinds of milk better than others? I pay a lot for organic milk.

There’s no requirement that an organic dairy farm have a lower climate footprint than a conventional farm. To date, studies have disagreed on whether organic dairy farms produce more, less or about the same amount of greenhouse gas emissions as conventional farms do, per gallon of milk. Most likely it varies a lot from farm to farm.

Which nondairy milk is best?

How much impact do milk and cheese have on climate change?

A number of studies have found that milk typically has a smaller climate footprint than chicken, eggs or pork per pound. Yogurt, cottage cheese and cream cheese are similar to milk.

But many other types of cheese, such as cheddar, or other hard cheeses can have a significantly bigger footprint than chicken or pork, since it typically takes about ten pounds of milk to make one pound of cheese. If you decide to go vegetarian by, say, eating cheese instead of chicken, your carbon 84 • MAY 2020

Almond, oat and soy milk all have a smaller greenhouse gas footprint than cow’s milk does. But there are caveats and trade-offs to consider. Almonds require a lot of water to grow. Soy milk tends to be fairly low-impact, as long as the soy is sustainably farmed.

So are you saying I should become a vegan?

If you’re interested in taking the plunge, a vegan diet does have the smallest climate footprint around.

I don’t like vegan food.

What would I eat?

READER’S DIGEST

If you like pasta with tomato sauce, hummus and avocado toast, you actually do like some vegan food.

Some people assume that a vegan diet has to include meat “substitutes” like tofu, but that’s not true: there’s ample protein in beans, grains and nuts. And plant versions of ice cream, butter and even burgers are getting better all the time.

I don’t think I can go completely vegan just yet.

What else can I try?

You could go vegetarian: no meat, poultry and fish, but dairy and eggs are allowed. The rules are simple, and food manufacturers and restaurants are used to accommodating vegetarians.

Adding seafood to a vegetarian diet can be a good compromise, and makes it easier to get protein into your meals. To keep some meat in your diet, try cutting back to one serving of red meat per week, replacing the rest with chicken, pork, fish or plant proteins.

Is organic produce really better than conventionally grown produce?

Organic produce is grown without synthetic fertilisers or pesticides, but that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily better from a climate perspective.

In some cases, it can be a bit worse—organic farms often require more land than conventional farms.

Organic farms’ climate impact can vary widely from place to place.

Should I worry about whether my produce is local and seasonal?

In general, what you eat matters a lot more than where it comes from, since transportation accounts for only about six per cent of food’s total climate footprint. That said, there are a few things to consider.

Anything that’s in season where you live, whether you buy it at a local farmers’ market or at a supermarket, is usually a good choice.

Things get trickier when it comes to out-of-season produce. Some perishable fruits and vegetables that are shipped by plane can have a surprisingly hefty carbon footprint. During the winter, that may include asparagus or blackberries.

By contrast, apples, oranges and bananas are often shipped by sea, which is more fuel-efficient. Coldclimate vegetables like carrots, potatoes and squash can be stored after the autumn harvest and last through the winter. In some cases, though, there can be an advantage to food that’s shipped in from elsewhere. During the winter, it can be better to buy a tomato trucked in from elsewhere than to buy a local variety that was grown in an energyintensive heated greenhouse. n This version was condensed by Reader’s Digest .

Copyright © 2019 By the New York Times Co .

MAY 2020 • 85

Who Will You Be To Me? On the eve of becoming a stepmother, a woman wonders what the boy she has come to love like a son will call her

By Betsy Graziani Fasbinder From the book Filling Her Shoes

86 • MAY 2020

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READER’S DIGEST

ne afternoon a few months before Tom and I were to be married, Max wandered into the dining room where I was sorting through a box of old photographs. He tossed an orange foam ball over and over, and didn’t look at me; he just focused completely on the ball. Soon he began to twirl around after each toss, catching the spongy ball behind his back.

Then he bounced the ball off the wall, then off the ceiling.

“Nice moves,” I said.

No reply. Wall. Ceiling. Twirl. Wall.

“Whatcha doin’?” he finally asked.

“Just trying to organise some of my pictures,” I said.

In my months of living with them, I’d learned to let Max, who was seven, come close on his own.

If I crowded him or moved too quickly, he skittered away. If I was patient though, we often ended up playing, laughing and, recently, even snuggling on the couch with a book or a TV show.

“Who’s that?” he asked, peeking around my shoulder.

“My mum when she was young.

After the wedding, I suppose she’ll be your grandma Sylvia.”

“Cool.” Wall. Ceiling. Wall. Wall.

Twirl. He caught the ball and then sidled up beside me, leaning his warm body against my arm and pressing a dirt-smudged finger on another photo. “Who will that be to me?”

“That was my grandfather, the one who died a few months ago.”

Max shrugged and resumed his tossing, this time switching hands.

Right. Left. Right. “I already got a grandfather,” he said, not unkindly.

“Lots of kids have two grandpas.

I guess my grandfather would have been your great-grandfather.”

“Hmm. Too bad he had to die.

I coulda used one of those.”

Death is always a barbed topic, but is particularly so for a child who lost his mother only two years before.

I shuffled quickly past the pictures of dead relatives.

Max propped his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his upturned palms. “What about them?” he asked, pointing to a picture of my sister and her family.

He’d known them his whole life, just as he had known me, played with my niece and nephew regularly and attended birthday parties and family dinners. But I could see that he was beginning to grasp the change that was coming. The difference in how he knew me before, when he was a family friend, and how he would MAY 2020 • 87

WHO WILL YOU BE TO ME

know me in the future. “Di and Jim will become your aunt and uncle. Megan and Matt will become your cousins.”

“Sweet,” he said, looking into my face for the first time since he’d entered the room. His eyes were chocolate pools, his thick, dark hair a sleek, shiny coat that made me want to run my fingers over it.

“I don’t have any boy cousins. And how about him?”

“That’s my brother John. He’ll be

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HOW TO SAY JUST THE RIGHT, WISE THING, BUT I DIDN'T another uncle.”

We sorted stacks of aunts and uncles, cousins and friends.

“Wow, you have a lot of people,” Max said with a sigh.

“I suppose I do.”

He began to finger through the stacks, messing up what I’d ­already sorted, but my original task no longer mattered. As we neared the bottom of the stack, a honey-thick warmth began to fill me. Perhaps my family was to be the dowry I’d bring to this little boy who had lost so much.

“Whoa,” he exclaimed, laughing at my third-grade photo, the one where my hair had been expanded 88 • MAY 2020

to new dimensions by an especially humid day.

At moments like this, Max was just a little boy, buoyant with energy, easy with a laugh. He played LEGO and watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And he tossed balls. At other times, when he was still or thought no one was looking, it seemed that the earth’s pull was just a little stronger where he stood, tugging the corners of his mouth downward, making his eyes years older than seven birthdays would imply.

Just as I was about to put the last of the pictures in the box, Max pressed his finger once more to a face. “And who will this be to me?”

Beneath his finger I could see the edges of my own face. My heart swelled. This son of the man I loved was ­becoming my son. We’d have family Christmas cards and school art stuck by magnets to the fridge.

I’d make treat bags at birthday parties, snap pictures at graduations.

I was becoming a mother but without the benefit of a growing belly or a baby shower to prepare me.

I should have known the answer to his simple question. I should have known how to say just the right, wise, magical thing. But I didn’t. “Well, what do you think?”

Max shrugged. Then he looked away, and I knew it was my job to field this one. “I’ll be your second mum,” I said.

READER’S DIGEST

“Oh.” “I’m sorry that your first mum died. I liked her.”

“What should I call you?” he asked.

My heart pounded, and my stomach turned. Mama, I wanted to cry. I’ll be your mama and you’ll be my son. I resisted. “You can call ­me Mum or Mama. You can also call me Betsy, if you’d rather. Whatever feels OK for you.”

He stood there a minute and I waited, expecting a pronouncement of my new title.

“What’s for dinner?” he asked, picking up his ball.

I replied, “Burgers.”

“Sweet,” he said, tossing the ball as he walked out the room.

Tom and I were married a few months later. For a couple of days after­ward, Max tried out a new ­title for me. “Can we go bowling?” he’d ask, and then follow the question by mouthing the word Mum. Or, “Can we go to the shops?” And the mouthed word Mum. Mum was ­always silent. It seemed he was trying it on, seeing how it felt in his mouth.

“Whatcha doin’, Mum?” “Can I watch TV now, Mum?” It felt wrong to take such pleasure in seeing his little plum lips form that singular syllable. After all, this new son of mine was an inheritance I would not have if he and Tom hadn’t sustained such an enormous loss. I felt small… and smaller still

when old habits resumed and Betsy was once again my only title.

Weeks later, as I drove him home from school, Max pulled a bag of cheese crackers from his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lunch box. He munched away, licking the orange dust off each finger.

With his focus deep inside the near-empty snack bag, he suddenly said, “I notice I don’t call you Mum.” Wham! Who threw that rock at my chest? “I noticed that, too.”

One last cheese cracker. “When I say Betsy, I mean Mum.” “Thanks,” I replied. “That’s nice to know.”

He looked out the window. “Mums die, you know. I think it’s maybe safer if you’re just Betsy.”

We could have a long talk about magical thinking and death and how nothing he could say, or not say, could cause me to die or could have caused his mother to die. But this just didn’t seem like the time for all of that.

I willed tears away, not wanting to overwhelm him. He had enough to carry.

“Thanks, buddy. I appreciate you telling me.”

Those big chocolate eyes found mine. I waited.

“Hey, Betsy?”

“Yeah,” I said, delighted with the new sound of my old name.

“What’s for dinner?” he asked. n MAY 2020 • 89

TR AVEL & ADVENTURE

Adventures In

BAHIA DRAKE

By Sarah Kante

90 • MAY 2020

Sarah Kante follows in the controversial footsteps of Sir Francis Drake, to explore one of Costa Rica's most isolated destinations

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aves come straight at us, our captain accelerates out towards the horizon, veers, tries to ride a wave in the right direction, goes back towards the open sea, repeats… I get sprayed, I cheer, I laugh, I grip the side of our vessel: this is nature’s rollercoaster and I'm enjoying every minute of it.

My adventure in Bahia Drake started long before I set foot on its golden sand and soaked up its relentless sun. Costa Rica sees its fair share of backpackers, luxury-seeking tourists, eco-visitors and holidaying families, which made the remoteness of the Osa Peninsula all the more attractive to someone who was already fascinated by the legend of Sir Francis Drake and the possibility of visiting Corcovado National Park, one of the most biodiverse places on Earth.

In the 16th century, Sir Francis Drake took a trip around the 92 • MAY 2020

world. Aboard the Golden Hind, this controversial figure—in turns hero and villain, explorer and pirate, slaver and privateer— circumnavigated the world, the first Englishman to do so. In Costa Rica, Drake supposedly stopped at Isla del Caño, but the locals of the bay named after him will tell you he made it to the mainland, the legends mentioning buried treasures, somewhere along the Pacific Coastline of Bahia Drake.

Nestled between the Bay and Corcovado National Park, the Caletas

(little coves) of the Osa Peninsula would still be a good spot to hide things you don’t want found. Only accessible by boat, the entire region promises adventures galore. Tropical, criss-crossed by rivers that tend to flood the roads, and jutting out into the Pacific Ocean, this part of Costa Rica truly is “off the beaten track.”

Trying to get to the “town” of Agujitas (all of a thousand inhabitants and the main populated area), I find myself waiting for a boat at the Sierpe ferry terminal—a grand name for a part of the river set aside for the small boats that take locals and tourists alike

to Bahia Drake. I make friends with some stray dogs and refuse to buy plastic bags from locals concerned for the safety of my belongings once I stepped into the boat. “You’ll get wet,” they warn me.

Never giving up in my search for outstanding natural beauty and adventure, I step on a boat from Sierpe to Agujitas and follow the twisting waters of the mangroves, in the Terraba Sierpe National Wetlands, getting ever closer to the Pacific Ocean.

For a tiny boat to navigate both the mangroves and the ocean is a big task, but our captain knows what he’s MAY 2020 • 93

doing, and gets us out of the “tricky parts,” as he calls it, and to the calmer, protected waters of the bay.

Scanning Playa Colorada, I find no wharf or safe landing. As close to the beach as possible, the boat stops, a couple of locals jump in the water and steady the trustworthy vessel that got us this far. There is no turning back, so I go, bags and all, waddling to the beach in knee-high water that reaches my thighs with every small wave the Pacific produces.

A short uphill ride later, I leave my bags at my accommodation and try to book a visit to Corcovado National Park, one of the main reasons I'm in 94 • MAY 2020

the area, laden with cash—there are no banks or ATMs in Bahia Drake— and ready for an adventure. There is, however, a downside to being somewhere so remote many tourists give up even before they’ve tried: the minimal number of tours are fully booked, and even with an extension of my stay, it doesn't look good.

Meeting Irene, a Swiss backpacker with the same dilemma, we decide to get a drink by the beach to drown our sorrows… Back on Colorada, patiently waiting for the afternoon boat to deliver a couple of tourists into his waiting arms and muddied 4x4, one of the workers from The Jaguars Jungle Lodge and Hostel decides to impart some local wisdom: “Do you think the monkeys know where the park starts and where it stops?” With renewed enthusiasm—and feeling slightly silly—Irene and I agree to wake up

READER’S DIGEST

at dawn the next day and to walk the Drake Bay Hiking Trail as far as we can. The trail goes right up to the edge of the National Park, 10.5 miles following the coast, a worthy challenge in the tropical heat of the Osa. This, then, will be our Bahia Drake adventure.

With the sun rising, announcing the start of the day, Irene and I are ready for our hike. We leave the town of Agujitas behind by following Playa Colorada, passing through a canopy of flowers, trying not to slip on some rocks and crossing the open-air dining room of a hotel’s restaurant.

Across the bridge we go, checking Rio Agujitas for crocodiles and feeling slightly disappointed we spot none. Little did we know we’d have our wildlife encounter not long after,

when we stumble upon a snake blocking the trail. Slowly, it slithers across, while we look on in horror.

After a good 15 minutes, we start getting restless. With the cliff on one side and the snake still up ahead, we wonder whether our little adventure is coming to a premature end. Irene decides to throw rocks around what we have now decided is the slowest snake in Costa Rica to make it move faster, to no avail. As soon as enough trail is cleared, we run as fast as possible and congratulate ourselves on not having died so close to town. When we recount our adventure that night and show our grainy, far away pictures to locals, we learn that we waited on a boa to cross the path, that we were lucky to have seen one and that we had been in no danger whatsoever… needless to say it was easier to agree to the MAY 2020 • 95

MAGNFICENT MARRAKECH

latter information hours later on the deck of our accommodation, with the boa being an already distant memory.

Following the Drake Bay Hiking Trail, we walk through the jungle, on pristine, deserted beaches and encounter cheeky monkeys who make a lot of noise when we pick up some overripe mangoes from the floor. Coming across a hand-painted sign that reads, “Welcome Restaurant Lapa Roja Cross the Bridge Follow the Trail,” we decide it is high time for food. It's still morning and we find ourselves sat at a table outside someone’s house, their children still in pyjamas and a parrot perched over 96 • MAY 2020

us, eyeing with interest the plates of chicken, rice and plantain we are presented with. The food is good, and the entertainment, provided by the children, the parrot and the dogs, even better.

Taking our shoes off and crossing Rio Claro easily, we realise we haven't planned anything. When is the tide coming up? Will we be able to retrace our steps? Thankfully, right there by the river is the Life for Life Sea Turtle Conservation Project, an amazing project started by a man named Ricardo almost 20 years ago to rescue local turtles. Ricardo gives us a rough idea of the tides and assures us he’ll rent us a kayak to go across if we get stuck. Alternatively, he also has a hostel further up ahead… with this information, we're sent on our way.

The sky opens up when we get to Playa Rincon de San Josecito and the wild surf makes us wary of going

READER’S DIGEST

for a swim. The rain stops fairly quickly, but we take it as a sign that we should probably start heading back.

Going through Poor Man’s Paradise Lodge, we re-join the “road” that should get us back to Agujitas cross-country. Still somewhat unsure about the tides, this gives us another perspective on the Peninsula. Cows, kids on quads and bikes blowing up dust clouds, rivers cutting the road—rivercrossing was the name of this day— and hiking uphill got the better of us. Drenched in sweat, river water and dust, we stick our thumbs out when we hear a quad coming our way. Sam, a local guide born and raised on the Osa Peninsula, drives us past his house and all the way to the edge of Agujitas.

Splashing through rivers and zooming up

and down hills, we realise how far we still had to go.

After a much-needed shower and a stop at Delicias Soda—a restaurant I ended up at three times during my short stay—we meet Sam for a look at the local nightlife. Ficus Bar is the only “nightclub” here, and it’s empty.

With the heavens opening up again and the frogs starting their nightly croaking rituals, I call it a night.

Leaving Bahia Drake is another adventure in itself: back in the ocean to get on the taxi boat across the bay, the waves come crashing down on us, before we reach the quieter waters of the mangroves and eventually, Sierpe. Here, I disembark and truly say goodbye to Bahia Drake and the Osa Peninsula, promising its golden sand, inconveniently-placed rivers, wildlife and friendly locals that I will be back one day. n MAY 2020 • 97

TR AVEL & ADVENTURE

My Great Escape:

Happiness In Harrogate Our reader Esther Newton from Newbury explores a quaint town in Yorkshire

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um, Dad and I first visited the beautiful spa town of Harrogate in North Yorkshire some years ago. Fast forward a decade or two and we were back there for a week’s break.

We stayed in the charming Cairn Hotel, which retains many of its original features and dates back to Victorian times—when many visitors came to the town to enjoy the waters.

We ate in for breakfast and our evening meal was spent in the lavish Windsor restaurant, where we were spoiled with freshly cooked local produce.

98 • MAY 2020

We strolled around the town and wandered into a few shops, but the highlight of the area had to be the infamous Betty’s Café Tea Rooms. They have been serving tea for almost one hundred years and when you step inside, it’s as if time stands still. It’s not uncommon to queue but it’s worth the wait. From

mouth-watering cakes, to sumptuous savouries, they have everything.

A few minutes out of Harrogate centre and there are lots of interesting places to visit. One particular favourite has to be Knaresborough, with its magnificent medieval streets and stone staircases.

The views from Knaresborough Castle are stunning as it sits proudly overlooking the River Nidd. We found ourselves having a chat with the resident ravens, who are stunning creatures to behold.

Next to the castle is the perfectly preserved Tudor courtroom. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention as I witnessed where the accused once stood. I felt as if I was going to be marched off to the dungeons at any moment.

Thankfully, I wasn’t, so we continued to York. This historic city takes your breath away, from the staggering structure of York Minster, to the narrow streets of The Shambles, and the National Railway Museum. We also sat back and enjoyed a boat trip along the River Ouse, where we saw the city from a different perspective.

Our week passed all too quickly and I feel that there’s still a lot more to see. I don’t think we’ll leave it another decade before we go back. n Tell us about your favourite holiday (send a photo too) and if we print it we’ll pay £50. Email excerpts@readersdigest.co.uk MAY 2020 • 99

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE

BRITAIN’S BEST BEACHES FOR WALKERS: SANDWOOD BAY Accessed only via a four-mile path, northwestern Scotland’s broad, thrillingly beautiful Sandwood Bay is guarded by a sea stack, backed by a loch, haunted by a ghost and eternally thrashed by mighty waves (johnmuirtrust.org).

FOR SECLUSION-SEEKERS: PENTLE BAY One of many Mediterranean-like sandy coves around the Isles of Scilly, 30 miles west of mainland Cornwall, Pentle Bay hides in Tresco’s southeast close to the subtropical Abbey Gardens. Inexplicably, it’s often deserted (tresco.co.uk).

FOR FAMILIES: WOOLACOMBE This long, sandy North Devon beach is privately-owned and brilliantly run, with deckchair-boasting beach huts to hire (four days minimum), surfing lessons on offer and perfect cleanliness. The village behind is

handy, too (woolacombe.co.uk).

FOR DOG-OWNERS: HOLKHAM BEACH Part of north Norfolk’s Holkham Estate, this massive shore is usually reached by a walk through pine woods and tufty sand dunes. You’ll find dog-walkers and horse-riders, and, on sunny Saturdays, many a happy family (holkham.co.uk).

FOR PHOTO-TAKERS: EMBLETON BAY South of Embleton Bay’s stand the remains of 14th-century Dunstanburgh Castle, prettily pink come sunset. At the beach’s north, seals often lounge on rocks. In between is 1.5 miles of sand and the kipper-serving Ship Inn. n

Travel app of the month COLIBRA, FREE, IOS & ANDROID Colibra boldly guarantees compensation to air passengers whose plane is delayed by one hour or more—no matter what the reason.

100 • MAY 2020

PARTNERSHIP

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Making it count

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fter spending far too much time on apps and social media over the last few years, Gemma decided it was time for a change.

“I’d started to get really frustrated with how I was spending my spare time”, said Gemma, 54 from London. “One day, I realised I’d checked my phone over 100 times. Something had to give.”

“So, I deleted my social media apps from my phone and made a promise to myself to do something more positive with my time.”

At first, it wasn’t easy for Gemma to find things to do.

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The selection is amazing: food, fitness, lifestyle, culture, crafts and

hobbies are all covered. I’ve been using Readly in the evenings to relax instead of watching TV. I’ve also found it great for inspiration and ideas for new recipes. We’ve been doing some re-decorating, so the interior design section has been really helpful. Having so many past issues to browse through is just fantastic. I can’t think how much I would’ve had to spend to get all that content. If you read more than a couple of magazines, you’ll be saving money each month.

My husband loves the car, sport and business magazines. And we cuddle up and do the puzzles and crosswords together now as well!

As it’s a family membership, I’ve shared my subscription with my daughter who has started using it. She’s a teacher and loves getting inspiration from the kids news, science and history magazines.”

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MONEY

The Best Money Podcasts In The UK Podcasts are a great medium for you to expand your knowledge of money, and improve your current spending, as well as create plans for the future 102 • MAY 2020

Y

ou can listen to shows to help you grow your investments, find the latest deals, prepare for retirement or start your own business. All for free!

There’s a huge number to choose from so I’ve pulled together a list of what I think are the best ones to start you off.

All the podcasts I’ve picked are jargon-free and hosted by friendly and knowledgeable hosts. Most importantly these are all UK-based shows, meaning the topics covered are relevant to the real situations you and your money might face.

Of course, they’re also all shows that I listen to and enjoy. But these aren’t only my views. I’ve taken a look at the online reviews and shared what other listeners think too.

Andy Webb is a personal finance journalist and runs the award-winning money blog, Be Clever With Your Cash

Money to the Masses Who’s it for: Investors both new, and experienced.

The hosts: Damian Fahy and Andy Leeks.

Typical episode: “The currencies investors should be watching and the section 75 loophole.”

Episode lengths: Between seven and 40 minutes.

Why listen: Damien set up the Money to the Masses website ten years ago after leaving a job in the city. Now on the podcast he’s grilled by co-host Andy about the latest movements of the markets, while offering his insights into other money matters.

What the listeners say: “A great and accessible podcast which makes my Monday mornings a little more bearable.”

Where and when to listen: New episodes are available every Sunday.

Search “Money to the Masses” or visit moneytothemasses.com/podcast

Squanderlust Who’s it for: Anyone who is keen to explore the more emotional side of money.

The hosts: Martha Lawton and Alex Lemon.

Typical episode: “The price of procrastination.”

Episode lengths: Between 20 and 30 minutes.

Why listen: Ex-adviser Martha and ex-accountant Alex talk about why

we spend our money and what we can do to make our behaviours live up to our intentions.

What the listeners say: “A funny and engaging podcast with lots of practical ideas about our emotional reactions to money.”

Where and when to listen: Two seasons are available now, with a third coming soon.

Search “Squanderlust” or visit squanderlustpod.com

Cash Chats Who’s it for: Money savers.

The host: Andy Webb (me!).

Typical episode: “How to get hundreds of pounds of cash for free.”

Episode lengths: Typically around 35 minutes.

Why listen: OK, so I couldn’t write this list without including my own award-winning podcast—Cash Chats. I talk about everyday money and how to get the best value for money, so if you like this column you’ll like my podcast too.

What the listeners say: “The amount of useful tips and tricks that Andy shares are worth their weight in gold.”

Where and when to listen: New episodes every Wednesday afternoon.

Search “Cash Chats” or visit becleverwithyourcash.com/podcast

In Her Financial Shoes Who’s it for: Women who want to get better with their finances.

MAY 2020 • 103

MONEY

The host: Catherine Morgan.

Typical episode: “Women’s wealth is rising: How to take control of yours.”

Episode lengths: Anything between nine and 45 minutes.

Why listen: Catherine is a money coach and passionate about empowering women to grow their understanding of money and build up financial resilience.

What the listeners say: “This podcast is second to none in teaching women the nuances of taking back control of their finances” Where and when to listen: New episodes every Monday.

Search “In Her Financial Shoes” or visit themoneypanel.co.uk/ category/podcast

Meaningful Money Who’s it for: Anyone who wants to get their finances in order.

The host: Pete Matthew.

Typical episode: “Refining your retirement vision.”

Episode lengths: Typically less than 30 minutes.

Why listen: Meaningful Money isn’t just one of the longest-running financial podcasts in the UK, it’s also a fixture at the top of the money podcast charts. The show is also handily broken into mini “seasons”, each one tackling a different topic across ten or so episodes. This allows you to get below the surface of the subjects that’ll best help you plan for the future.

104 • MAY 2020

What the listeners say: “I’ve gained a better vision for me and my family’s finances for the years to come.”

Where and when to listen: New episodes are live each Wednesday.

Search “Meaningful Money” or visit meaningfulmoney.tv/mmpodcast

Money101 Who’s it for: Your millennial kids or grandkids.

The host: Bea Duncan.

Typical episode: “Credit scores.”

Episode lengths: Usually around 25 minutes.

Why listen: This BBC Sounds podcast is aimed at young people, but it’s a good introduction for everyone on a number of topics as 22-year-old host Bea goes on a journey towards financial literacy.

Regular guest Kaplana Fitzpatrick provides the money expertise.

What the listeners say: “It’s really easy to listen to and it’s like having a chat with a friend about finance.”

Where and when to listen: Eighteen episodes are available to listen to now. Search “Money 101” or visit the BBC Sounds website.

Best of the rest I’ve covered my favourites here, but there are some other really good shows from some trusted financial sources which are well worth checking out.

Leading finance websites and publications This Is Money, FTMoney

READER’S DIGEST

THESE SHOWS CAN HELP YOU GROW INVESTMENTS, FIND DEALS AND PREPARE FOR RETIREMENT—ALL FOR FREE and Which? Money all have weekly shows that look at the latest finance news in more detail.

There’s also a number of BBC radio shows available via the podcasting apps, including Ask Martin Lewis and Wake up to Money from 5Live and

Money Box from Radio 4.

You’ll find all of these on your favourite podcast app.

How to listen to podcasts The usual way to listen is to download episodes to an app on your phone or tablet. The most popular on iPhones and iPads is Apple Podcast, while on Android you can pick from apps like Stitcher and Google Podcasts. You can even listen to podcasts through the musicstreaming service, Spotify.

At home you can also stream (play live) from your computer, and all the podcasts featured host their episodes on the website links listed above. n

Stars and stripes Answer the following questions to see if you’d pass the US citizenship test

What is the name of the US National Anthem? a) Stars and Stripes Forever b) God Bless the USA c) The Star Spangled Banner Who was President during both the Great Depression and the Second World War? a) Franklin D Roosevelt b) Woodrow Wilson c) Theodore Roosevelt Which ocean is on the East Coast of the United States? a) The Pacific Ocean b) The Atlantic Ocean c) The Gulf of Mexico What are the first ten amendments to the Constitution called? a) The Bill of Rights b) The Ratification c) The Judicial Ten In which year was the Constitution written? a) 1787 b) 1770 c) 1778 Answers: The Star Spangled Banner, Franklin D Roosevelt, The Atlantic Ocean, The Bill of Rights, 1787

FOOD

Ham And Leek Pie Serves 4 • 2tbsp olive oil • 2-3 leeks (500 grams), sliced • 50 grams plain flour • 500ml ham stock • 400g cooked ham, roughly diced • 2tbsp crème fraiche • 1tbsp mustard • ½ tsp peppercorns, crushed • 100g butter, chilled • 200g plain flour • 1 egg yolk You’ll need: an enamel pie dish, 12x8 inches To serve: fresh greens, new potatoes

Rachel Walker is a food writer for numerous national publications. Visit rachel-walker.co.uk for more information

A ham is a beautiful thing. Not only is it delicious but it is immensely versatile. Cook a whole ham and you’ll feast on delicious sandwiches for days and still have some for a leftover pie. I use “pie” tentatively as— officially—a pie should have a pastry top and bottom, but as late spring turns into summer and lighter lunches are called for, a pastry lid is decadence enough!

1. Heat the oil in a pan and cook the leeks until soft but not coloured. Stir in the plain flour, so that the leeks are coated in what seems like a paste and then lower the heat before introducing a ladle of the ham stock.

2. Stir until it has been absorbed and then keep going— ladle by ladle—until you’ve added it all and created a thick, creamy sauce. Stir in the ham, crème fraiche, mustard and peppercorns. Tip the mixture into a pie dish and position a pie funnel in the centre.

3. To make the short crust pastry, cut the butter into small cubes and use your fingers to rub it into the flour, until it resembles a fine, crumble topping. Add 2tbsp of chilled water to the mixture and start to bring it together into a ball—add 1tbsp at a time of chilled water, if needed. Work quickly and confidently, trying not to squeeze or overwork the pastry.

4. If time allows, pat it into a flat circle and chill for half an hour before rolling it flat and draping the pastry over the pie—crimping round the edges and cutting a hole in the centre to allow the pie funnel to poke through.

5. Use a pastry brush to paint the pie lid with a layer of egg yolk. Place the pie on a tray and cook it at 180°C for 30 minutes, until the pastry is golden and has a delicious, biscuit aroma. Serve with fresh greens and new potatoes.

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photography by Tim & Zoé Hill

Drinks Tip… Apple is a classic accompaniment to pork dishes and there’s never been a better time for ciderlovers. The Fine Cider Company has a great selection, including lots of 750ml bottles which are perfect for cracking open and serving at the table—just like a bottle of wine

Serves 4 • 500ml boiling water • 2 Earl Grey tea bags • 150g sugar • 1 orange • Saffron, a pinch • 4 cardamom pods • 4 pears, peeled To serve: whipped cream, crème fraiche or ice cream

Show us your take on these dishes!

Just upload the picture to Instagram and tag us, @readersdigest_uk 108 • MAY 2020

Tea-Poached Pears The British tradition of poaching pears most often involves red wine, making it quite a heady dessert best suited to winter months, but this recipe calls on another British staple—tea—and is a beautifully sweet and light end to a meal.

1. Pour the boiling water into a pan, add the tea bags and let them brew for a couple of minutes until you’ve essentially made a strong cup of tea. Take out the tea bags and discard.

2. Bring the pan of the tea to a gentle simmer and stir in the sugar until it dissolves.

3. Meanwhile, use a vegetable peeler to create a long strip of orange zest to add to the sweet tea, along with a pinch of saffron and four cardamom pods. Finally, add the pears to the poaching liquid and simmer for 15-20 minutes, dependent on the ripeness of pears. Once you’ve removed the pears, strain the liquid through a sieve and serve it in a pouring jug alongside the poached pears.

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HOME & GARDEN

Add an extra room to your home and design your very own stylish summerhouse to while away lazy summer afternoons

Garden Retreat

I

f you’re looking for an outdoor getaway to truly make the most of the summer season, why not create a secluded sanctuary at the bottom of the garden that will give you both peace and privacy? Whether you’re looking for somewhere to unwind and escape the household hustle and bustle, or a dedicated space to pursue a longlost hobby, a summerhouse could be the perfect solution.

Once you’ve settled on your structure—whether that be a shed, garden room, or log cabin—decide on the best location within your outdoor space. A secluded spot away from the house is ideal for maximising peace and quiet, but Homes and gardens writer and stylist Cassie Pryce specialises in interior trends and discovering new season shopping

110 • MAY 2020

you’ll want to choose somewhere that can be connected to electricity without too much hassle. Depending on the function of your room, kit it out with appropriate furniture, but avoid cluttering the space with too many pieces, or anything overly bulky. If you can’t squeeze in a sofa, for example, create a compact reading nook using large floor cushions or build a bespoke low bench from recycled wooden pallets.

Decorate the interior of your summerhouse just as you would an indoor space. Lining the floor with a rug, for example, will help cosy up the room and make it feel welcoming, while adding accessories such as artwork, books and soft furnishings will also contribute to that homely vibe. Don’t forget to address the outside of your structure, too—painting or cladding the building in a neat finish will make it an attractive part of your garden. n

Homely Hideaway Twenty-bulb drop battery festoons, £16.99; set of three solar tassel lanterns, £45.99; set of three white metal lanterns with TruGlow candles, £105; set of two galvanised metal lanterns, £69.99; bee print fairy light lanterns, £21.99; lavender wreath, £21.99; bee micro lights, £7.99, all Lights4fun

HOME & GARDEN

How To Compost It’s a goal many of us have aspired to yet somehow not achieved. Jessica Summers explains why and how to successfully compost

T

he list of garden and household waste you can add to your compost heap is almost endless. When looking for an item that will effectively break down, consider its natural state, whether it will release toxic chemicals and how long it will take to fragment. Such items include: fruit and vegetable scraps, shredded newspaper, cooked rice and pasta, manure, hair and stale bread. Make sure to exclude orange peel, meat and fish, and dog and cat manure to avoid attracting vermin and creating health hazards.

When adding grass cuttings to your heap, be aware of the 2:1 green to brown ratio, for example add more “green” additions (such as egg shells and aquatic weeds) than “brown” additions (such as leaves and wood chips) to create a harmoniously balanced compost bin. Don’t be 112 • MAY 2020

deterred by not having a large garden to compost in, all you need is a bin that’s specific to this use and you can start right away—even in your kitchen!

After everything is considered, composting is easy. The money you’ll save on fertiliser and nutrient-rich plant food every year will be a huge reward, not to mention that every waste item not sent to the landfill is another environmentally friendly box you will have checked. As far as soil is concerned it’s one of the greatest things you can do for your local landscape: by reintroducing beneficial microbes that will restore the natural pH of the soil that’s been ravaged by centuries of over-farmed land and crop produce. Compost has the potential to recover the most important aspects of soil components and in turn produce the most fertile plants— time to get decaying! n

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FASHION & BEAUT Y

Bags Of Style Lisa Lennkh on why you should stop chasing novelty and invest in a timeless bag that'll serve you for decades Lisa Lennkh is a banker turned fashion writer, stylist and blogger. Her blog, The Sequinist, focuses on sparkle and statement style for midlife women 114 • MAY 2020

F

or the past few years, footwear has taken up most of fashion's spotlight. We've seen interesting toe shapes, very unique heel shapes, and even the rise of the intentionally ugly trainer.

Now fashion's gaze has shifted away from shoes and back to another necessity, the handbag. Rather than the conspicuous logocovered "it bags" of years past, today's designs are all about individuality and timelessness.

They complement the wearer's style rather than announce a designer label.

Many of the new shapes are very design-forward.

They are inspired by and named after all manner of things: origami, balloons, hammocks, pillows, horseshoes, horsebits, and architecture.

Some designers

Bottega Veneta Hammock Loewe

Cashin Carry Tote bag

are even reaching deep into their archives and relaunching classic old favourites. Coach did this with its Cashin Carry Tote bag, named after Bonnie Cashin and based on one of her successful designs for the house in 1969. Gucci has struck gold again with its 1955 Horsebit top handle bag; it's such classic design it wouldn't look at all out of place on the Queen's arm.

These are anti-fast fashion bags that will look as elegant and appropriate in 20 years as they did when they were first launched.

Italian brand Bottega Veneta and Spanish brand Loewe are the two star brands leading the pack right now. Bottega Veneta's bags are tactile, squishy, luxurious and look ultra-expensive. They've added sumptuous gold chain straps on their buttery soft pouch bag; the fashion crowd can't get enough of that one. They've also put a modern spin on their trademark traditional woven bags—they have supersized

the weave, padded them out, and painted them in cheerful colours.

In spite of the eye-watering prices, stores can't keep Bottega Veneta bags in stock. Aside from the incredible style, Bottega has comfort and craftsmanship that are impossible to beat. Loewe's gorgeous bags are artisinal and almost origami-like.

Their "Hammock" bag not only has a distinctive shape, but with a few zips and folds it looks like a different bag. For a few years now, the Loewe "Puzzle" bag has been the classicwith-a-twist bag that everyone saved up for. It works as well casually as it does formally and is set to be an icon.

Thankfully, the most coveted bags right now are styles that will last for decades. This is influenced by the new mood in fashion to support sustainability, rather than chasing novelty every season. Buying things we truly need that we'll treasure forever is what real style is about. n

BUYING THINGS WE'LL NEED FOREVER IS WHAT REAL STYLE IS ABOUT

MAY 2020 • 115

FASHION & BEAUTY

Shroom Skin

Hero Products

Jenessa Williams on the funghi facial products revitalising your beauty

E

very fridge will have them. From the button to the porcini, mushrooms are a staple of many diets, chock-full of protein and fibre. But next time you’re whipping up a stroganoff or a stir-fry, you might want to save a few stalks for your beauty regime.

Brands such as Origins and Charlotte Tilbury have been preaching the pore-minimising benefits of mushrooms for years, but with the wider industry catching on, the funghi beauty industry is set to boom to over £49 billion in 2021. Antiviral and full of vitamin D, they’re said to boost skin moisture with great anti-ageing effect, supporting the skin’s immune response to pollution, sun damage and even rosacea.

But which mushroom varieties should you be eating, and which should you be putting on your face? Shitake and reishi varieties are most popular in cosmetology, thanks to their high rates of polysaccharides, responsible for springier skin. Avon’s budget-friendly K-Beauty mask is an easy way to get your fill of funghi—simply apply before bed and allow it to soak in while you sleep. Should you wish to indulge in a little home-alchemy with locallygrown mushrooms, don’t forget your guidebook—avoid a red cap, white gills or a bulbous base, and never consume (nor apply) anything you cannot 100 per cent identify.

For something more heavy-duty, look for a mushroom-infused serum. Volition’s version blends snow-mushroom with watermelon, apple and marine water for a refreshing wash. Going all out? Dr Andrew Weil for Origins will be your guide, with a full range of hydrating products. Time to get foraging!

116 • MAY 2020

1. Avon K-Beauty Golden Mushroom Sleep Mask, £6 for 50g 2. Origins Dr. Andrew Weil for Origins MegaMushroom Relief & Resilience Advanced Face Serum, £65 for 50ml 3. Volition Snow Mushroom Water Serum, £52 for 30ml

FILM

HHHHH

“That little green light indicating the other side is online, that he’s also there, in front of his screen…” reflects Juliette Binoche’s character, Claire.

“What did it make you feel?” her therapist asks.

“Comfort. A puff of Ventolin and I could breathe easier.”

Intimacy and human connection have dramatically altered since we entered the digital age, to both positive and devastating effects. For Claire, a divorced, middle-aged mother of two, things took a turn for the latter. Lonely and emotionally pulverised by her

husband leaving for a much younger woman, she seeks solace in an online relationship with a young man, Alex.

There’s a small issue, though: she’s using someone else’s identity. It’s uncomfortably unpalatable yet utterly transfixing to watch Claire chat to the object of her desire: each word is carefully selected to reflect the psyche of a 24-year-old fashion intern, Clara—the persona Claire’s designed for herself. As the relationship gets more involved, Alex starts to get suspicious and Claire finds herself in a downward spiral, neglecting her mental wellbeing and, more heartbreakingly, her young sons. It’s a pitch-perfect star vehicle for Binoche who not only delivers a formidable performance but also resolutely acknowledges her own advancing years.

118 • MAY 2020

RE A D E RS D IGE S T.C O.UK/CULTURE

This heart-wrenching portrait of a woman in crisis is another reminder that it’s Juliette Binoche’s world, we’re just living in it

© C U R ZO N

WHO YOU THINK I AM

RETRO Review

The Red Shoes (1948)

B

ritish choreographer Matthew Bourne’s adaptation of the classic Powell and Pressburger film hits the cinemas on May 19. Filmed live at London’s Sadler’s Wells especially for cinemas, it’s an enchanting take on this enthralling story of passion and love but also a great opportunity to revisit the original masterpiece.

Based on a Hans Christian Andersen fairytale of the same name, The Red Shoes is a larger-than-life story of young ballet dancer Victoria Page (played by the fiery-haired goddess, Moira Shearer) whose career is steered by the tyrannical impresario Boris Lermontov (the devilishly charming Anton Walbrook). Though initially all she wants in life is to be a great dancer,

she’s forced to reconsider her priorities when she falls in love with the ballet company’s conductor Julian Craster, much to the contemptuous dismay of Lermontov. The story is a thinly veiled dramatisation of the legendary, early 20thcentury company Ballets Russes and its infamous impresario, Sergei Diaghilev, who was the inspiration for Lermontov’s character, and it’s a fascinating insight into the behind-the-scenes of the process of making art.

Every aspect of the film drips in opulence and true artistry; the complex choreography by ballet star Robert Helpmann, the Oscar award-winning score, the gorgeous sets blurring the line between magic and reality, the witty dialogue and sublime acting, and— of course—the unbelievable direction that seamlessly brought all these elements together.

As the ever-ferocious Lermontov advises Vicky early on in the film, “A great impression of simplicity can only be achieved by great agony of body and spirit”—a sentiment that’s very much applicable to the film itself, the making of which was described as an “ordeal” by Moira Shearer. Yet one wonders whether there’s any other way of producing a work of art of this scale.

by Eva Mackevic MAY 2020 • 119

TELEVISION HOMELAND: SEASON 8 (C4; ALL4) What is it? A last runout for one of recent American TV’s most consistently gripping dramas.

Why should I watch it? This final run of 12 xx episodes returns us to what we might call classic Homeland, doubling down on the diplomacy and spycraft as Carrie (Claire Danes) and Saul (Mandy Patinkin) attempt to negotiate a truce between the US and the Taliban in Afghanistan.

Best episode? A familiar template: a slow start, and an explosive development in Episode 4 as the President makes ground in the Middle East.

ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST: (E4; ALL4) What is it? A musical-comedy about a young woman (Jane Levy) who— upon a mix-up involving an MRI scanner and the Spotify app—starts hearing other people’s earworms.

Why should I watch it? There’s an underrated subgenre known as Nice TV: pretty people, wearing bright colours, doing pleasant things, and thereby distracting the viewer from any woes. This curio—a Glee without the irony—ticks all those boxes to an appealing soundtrack.

Best episode? Two early standout scenes involve Zoey’s stroke-afflicted dad, offering a moving rendition of Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors” and a surprisingly energetic take on Van Morrison’s “Moondance”.

by Mike McCahill

DIRTY MONEY: SEASON 2 (Netflix) More rigorous yet accessible investigative journalism, covering corrupt bankers, the Malaysian Prime Minister’s downfall, and Donald Trump’s son-in-law.

120 • MAY 2020

MYTHIC QUEST: RAVEN’S BANQUET (Apple TV+) The It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia team diversify with this sharp send-up of the currently booming gaming industry.

THE WINDSORS: SERIES 3 (All4) An irreverent take on palace life returns with a new Prince Harry and plentiful references to a certain, now-famous Woking pizza outlet.

ALL4 PICTURES

WHAT TO STREAM THIS MONTH:

MUSIC

READER RADAR: TONY OSBORNE, Finance Director

ALBUM OF THE MONTH: THE MOTHER STONE by CALEB LANDRY JONES

Caleb Landry Jones is known for his showstealing performances in films such as Get Out, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri and Twin Peaks. With his intense presence, wiggly energy and signature pale-skin-red-haircombo, he specialises in playing unhinged, moody characters. Now, imagine all of that translated into music, and you’ve got his debut music album, The Mother Stone. What does unhinged energy sound like? Well, for Jones, it’s synonymous with hazy psychedelia, German cabaret and macabre theatrics. Many of these songs were written a number of years ago in his parents’ barn, when he was going through a break-up and struggling to express himself.

The songs are ragged-edged and often messy, but always laced with grim humour, delivered by the multiple incarnations of Jones’ psyche; be it deranged, drunken-like blabbering or threateningly sleazy grunting. You need to be in a very particular mood to listen to this LSDspiked offering—it can get obnoxious and overbearing, but in the way that David Bowie, Frank Zappa or The Beatles got at their trippiest, so, in other words, in the best way possible.

by Eva Mackevic

Watching: MODERN FAMILY (AMAZON PRIME) After following the news all day and monitoring the stock exchange, I’ve been watching this series as it’s light relief from our current world, and demonstartes normal family absurdities.

Reading: COVID-19 Reading about the demographic it affects and the future consequence on the economy. As a financial director I’m having to be creative on an hourly basis, it seems.

Online: TIKTOK (APP) Solely to try and keep up with my teenage daughters. I’m even contemplating learning a new dance...

Listening: DANCE MUSIC I still regularlylisten to Ninties rave music when commuting to hype myself up for the day ahead. I’m also enjoying the podcast No Such Thing As A Fish by the QI “elves”.

Email your recommendations to readersletters@readersdigest.co.uk MAY 2020 • 121

BOOKS

May Fiction This month, we’re offered two different perspectives on old age: one caustic, one nostalgic—both equally gripping The Motion of the Body Through Space by Lionel Shriver (Borough, £16.99) There are few sights in modern literature more thrilling—in a scary kind of way—than Lionel Shriver (best-known for We Need to Talk about Kevin) blasting away with both barrels. And here, that’s exactly what she does. Like her creator, main character Serenata isn’t one of life’s cheery souls—grateful that “being seen as woman who kept others at bay helped keep them at bay”.

Like her creator too, she despises virtually all today’s received wisdoms, from identity politics to the idea of a bucket list.

Nearing 60, Serenata is forced by her wrecked knees to abandon a lifelong commitment to exercise just as her husband suddenly catches the bug.

James Walton is a book reviewer and broadcaster, and has written and presented 17 series of the BBC Radio 4 literary quiz The Write Stuff 122 • MAY 2020

Worse, he hires a female personal trainer of disturbing perkiness, who spouts precisely the sort of lies about mind over matter that Serenata hates.

But, exhilarating though it is, there’s more to the novel than merely Serenata’s/ Shriver’s ferocious grumpiness, including a page-turning climax and some wise reflections on ageing, marriage and whether our bodies define who we are—all done with the same unsparing wit.

In short, a richly enjoyable read—if not, perhaps, one for the faint-hearted.

Love by Roddy Doyle (Cape, £18.99) The approach of old age is also central to Roddy Doyle’s new novel, whose basic plot isn’t hard to summarise: two blokes in their late fifties go for lots of drinks in Dublin.

Davy and Joe, friends since school, haven’t seen much of each other in recent decades after Davy moved to England. Now they have plenty to catch up on—not least the fact that Joe has left his wife for a woman they both fancied

in their twenties.

But as they reminisce, it becomes alarmingly clear how untrustworthy their memories are.

At times, Doyle captures the reality of a pub crawl almost too authentically, as the men become increasingly rambling and repetitive. Yet even then, his dialogue remains as perfect as ever—and with the same ability to convey the unspoken as well. The book bristles with touching insights into male friendship, physical decline, fatherhood (the best thing in both their lives) and the sense of redundancy that comes once the children leave home.

Some Doyle fans might still miss the joyful exuberance of his early books such as The Commitments—but Love confirms that his later, more melancholy work is pretty great too.

Name the author Can you guess the writer from these clues (the fewer you need the better)?

1. The surname of the title character in his first, and still most famous, novel was Dixon.

2. His own first name is the same as the surname of the author of The Water-Babies.

3. His son Martin is also a novelist.

Answer on p126

PAPERBACKS I’m Only in It for the Parking by Lee Ridley aka Lost Voice Guy (Corgi, £9.99). Inspiring, often very funny account of life with cerebral palsy from the comedian and 2018 winner of Britain’s Got Talent.

The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes (Penguin, £8.99). A first historical novel from Moyes, set in Depression era America, but as warm and engaging as ever.

Chastise: The Dambusters Story 1943 by Max Hastings (William Collins, £9.99). The great military historian with a superbly vivid description of the raid—and the rather disappointing news that it was a largely theatrical event of little military significance.

Never Have I Ever by Joshilyn Jackson (Raven, £7.99). A game at a book club is the unlikely starting point for an irresistibly twisting thriller.

On Fire by Ben Stokes (Headline, £8.99). Horse’s-mouth story of last summer’s unforgettable world cup and Ashes series from the hero of English cricket.

BOOKS

RECOMMENDED READ

Being The Beatles A wildly entertaining, indepth look at the history and anecdotes behind the world’s greatest band

‘D

oes anyone seriously believe,” asked the politician and philosopher Bryan Magee in 1967, “that Beatles’ music will be an unthinkingly accepted part of daily life all over the world in the 2000s?”

Well, as we now know, those who did were right. If anything, what The Beatles achieved—and the 124 • MAY 2020

sheer speed at which they achieved it—seems even more miraculous today than it must have done at the time. In 1962, George Harrison’s 19th birthday took place the day after the Beatles were booed off at the YMCA in Hoylake. In 1968, his 25th was celebrated on the banks of the Ganges, where the band—by then long-established as among the most famous people on Earth—were exploring Indian philosophy, having just gone from the simplicity of “Love Me Do” to the wild wordplay of “I Am the Walrus” in only five years.

Craig Brown specialises in books that examine their subjects from different angles and times to create a mosaic-effect, and this proves a particularly revealing way of looking at The Beatles. We do get the story of what happened, but also a genuine sense of say, what Beatlemania actually felt like (completely bonkers). And, as ever, Brown is particularly good at unearthing all manner of strange meetings with other global celebrities, which here include Marlene Dietrich, Judy Garland and Muhammad Ali. We’re also reminded of The Beatles’ extraordinary effect on the world, from helping to heal America after the Kennedy assassination to doing “more for the destruction of totalitarianism in the USSR than Solzhenitsyn”: a theory confirmed by no less than Mikhail Gorbachev.

And just to think that it all began

READER’S DIGEST

with two Liverpool teenagers meeting at a suburban fête…

‘‘

“On July 6 1957, Paul McCartney’s friend Ivan Vaughan suggested going to the church fête at Woolton, where two of his mates would be playing in a group.

Paul and Ivan looked on as a carnival procession left the church— a brass band, followed by Girl Guides and Boy Scouts and a succession of carnival floats, led by the Rose Queen.

At the end came the sole concession to modernity—a teenage skiffle group called the Quarrymen, playing on an open lorry.

Once they’d completed a circuit, the Quarrymen jumped off and set up in a field just beyond the cemetery. Ivan and Paul paid threepence to see them. The first song they heard John Lennon sing was ‘Come Go With Me’ by the DelVikings. Paul looked on fascinated, not only by the chords John played, but by his ability to make things up as he went along.

Between sets John wandered over to the Scout hut. Elsewhere, crowds were enjoying a routine by the Liverpool City Police Dogs, while youngsters queued for balloons.

Paul wandered to the hut with Ivan. He recognised John from the bus, but had never spoken to him: Paul had just turned 15, while John was nearly 17. Even at that age, John had an intimidating air, so Paul

PAUL LOOKED ON, FASCINATED BY JOHN’S ABILITY TO MAKE THINGS UP AS HE WENT ALONG hovered shyly. After a while he felt bold enough to ask John if he might have a go on his guitar.

Armed with the guitar, he grew bolder still. He asked to retune it, and then launched into various songs, among them ‘Twenty Flight Rock’ and ‘Be-Bop-a-Lula’. ‘It was uncanny,’ recalled another Quarryman, Eric Griffiths. ‘He had such confidence, he gave a performance. It was so natural.’ Ever more confident, Paul moved to the piano, and struck up a medley of Little Richard songs. John, too, was obsessed by Little Richard. And now here before him was this kid who could holler just like his idol.

‘I half thought to myself, “He’s as good as me,”’ said John, looking back.

One Two Three Four: The Beatles in Time by Craig Brown is published

by Fourth Estate at £20

MAY 2020 • 125

BOOKS

‘Now, I thought, if I take him on, what will happen? It went through my head that I’d have to keep him in line. But he was good, so he was worth having. He also looked like Elvis.’

Another band member recalled the two circling each other ‘like cats’.

After a while Paul and Ivan drifted off home.

Later, John asked his best friend Pete Shotton, who played washboard, what he thought of Paul.

Pete said he liked him.

‘So what would you think about having Paul in the group, then?’

‘It’s OK with me.’

Two weeks later, Paul was riding his bicycle when he spotted Pete Shotton. He stopped to chat.

‘By the way,’ said Pete, ‘I’ve been talking with John about it, and… we thought maybe you’d like to join the group.’

According to Pete, a minute ticked by while Paul pretended to give the matter careful thought. ‘Oh, all right,’ he replied with a shrug; and with that he cycled off home.”

’’

And the name of the author is…

Kingsley Amis. Jim Dixon is in Lucky Jim, and The Water-Babies is by Charles Kingsley, who also wrote Westward Ho!, after which the Devon village was named—the only British place name with an exclamation mark!

126 • MAY 2020

Craig Brown’s Five Favourite Beatles Songs Hey Jude. It was originally called “Hey Jules”. Paul was thinking of John’s son Julian, after John had gone off with Yoko, and wanted him to know that things would get better.

The American novelist John Updike compared The Beatles to the sun coming out on Easter morning, and that’s what “Hey Jude” feels like.

Across the Universe. This has been slightly overlooked. I love the way John sings the first line: “Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup.”

I Saw Her Standing There. Oddly enough, there aren’t that many Beatles songs you can dance to, but this is one of the joyous exceptions.

Eleanor Rigby. Paul could write lyrics that read like perfect short stories.

Abbey Road Medley. Choosing the 16-minute medley on Side 2 of Abbey Road is a bit of a cheat, but it’s completely glorious.

However fractious their personal relationships were towards the end, they could still produce music in perfect harmony.

Books THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

Robert Webb is a British comedian, actor and writer. His novel, Come Again, is out now, published by Canongate The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams More than any other book, this one made me want to be a writer. Or, to put it more accurately, this book made it clear that you could be very funny in book form, whereas before I only really understood comedy as a TV medium. I grew up in a house where we watched a lot of TV and, frankly, didn’t have many books. So I can’t overstate what a big deal it was that having first watched (and loved) the TV version of Hitchhiker’s, I then picked up the book and thought it was even better! I thought it was a science-fiction story but it’s clear to me now that Adams owes much more to PG Wodehouse than to Arthur C Clarke.

A delightful introduction to comic prose and a truly wonderful imagination.

Emma by Jane Austen Another teen discovery and my favourite Austen—probably because it was the first one I read. Mrs Elton’s treatment of “Knightley” was a revelation simply because I hadn’t imagined any book this funny could be considered literature. I loved the way the author seemed to be hovering just a few inches outside her heroine’s head and letting me in on her faulty logic as well as her witty insights. An honorary mention should go to EM Forster here whose books I started to devour at around the same time, partly because of those Merchant Ivory movies.

Forster and Austen offered the kindest imaginable introduction to English literature and made it its study seem less foreboding.

FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/CULTURE

1984 by George Orwell I read this when I was 13 which I think might be too young to get this much bad news in one book. It was really the first serious novel I’d come across and in a way it marked the end of my reading childhood. The torture scenes are horrific, obviously, but I was also impressed and upset by so many other ideas: for example, the notion that you could make a concept disappear by banning the word for it. I also felt very grown-up for engaging with the Winston/ Julia love story despite its, shall we say, not entirely romantic conclusion. A rites of passage book for me in many ways.

MAY 2020 • 127

TECHNOLOGY

Lounging 101 This month, Olly Mann explores the dizzying range of useful house gadgets that can enhance your at-home life Olly Mann presents Four Thought for BBC Radio 4, and the award-winning podcasts The Modern Mann and Answer Me This!

128 • MAY 2020

SONIC BOOM! The retro-gaming trend has a benefit beyond nostalgia: old games are substantially cheaper than new ones. After years of imitators emulating their titles, Sega themselves have lovingly crafted the Sega Mega Drive Mini (£59.95), a scaled-down replica of their seminal 1988 console. It’s bundled with 42 classic games, including Sonic, Street Fighter II, Wonder Boy and Tetris, each of which would have set you back £30 back in the day. Sadly the cartridge slot is purely aesthetic, so you can’t scour eBay for secondhand games to expand your library. But, with over a third of the titles offering two-player functionality, it’s great for inexpensive evenings in.

HAPPY SNAPPERS

TOP CHOC

There’s only one Christmas present my four-year-old still plays with every day: the VTech Kidizoom Duo 5.0 (£54.99, ages 3-9).

It’s a five megapixel camera—chunky and tactile for little hands to hold—with a rotating lens that adds Instagram-style filters to photos, and a rearfacing sensor for selfies. When I turned four I got a camera too, but Dad had to keep shelling out at Boot’s to print off my terrible pictures, 36 prints at a time. Today’s kids, by contrast, are content to view their masterworks on the 2.4” colour LCD screen, so there are no further costs. The device also includes a selection of simple games, which my son adores because they’re funny (you can superimpose selfies on to an animated go-kart, for example), and of which I approve because they teach hand-eye coordination and don’t keep his attention for too long.

I appreciate that a packet of cocoa powder is only three quid. But you wouldn’t exactly call that barista-style hot chocolate, would you? Hotel Chocolat’s The Velvetiser (£99.99), by contrast, provides the silky, smooth richness of the hot chocolate you’d expect from one of their cafes.

Aimed squarely at the Nespresso market (you need to buy individual sachets, and it only serves one cup at a time), its Dualitdesigned curves look delightful on any kitchen surface, and it’s calibrated to brew at the best temperature for flavour (68-70 degrees, apparently).

A great luxury gift for any chocaholic.

SUPERCHARGE YOUR TV If you’re riding out self-isolation with Freeview, now is the time to start streaming! All you need is a decent broadband connection and a Roku Streaming Stick+ (£49.99). About the size of a cigarette lighter, it slots into your existing TV’s HDMI port and seamlessly hooks up to all the channels you’ll ever need. Using the idiot-proof remote control (or voice commands), simply choose the services you want from a menu offering stalwarts such as Netflix, NowTV and Prime Video, but also new kids on the block, Apple TV+, Disney+ and Britbox. Those all incur subscription fees, but there are also multiple freebies, such as iPlayer, YouTube, and many curious American channels...

MAY 2020 • 129

FUN & GAMES

You Couldn’t Make It Up Win £30 for your true, funny stories!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

I overheard two teenage boys talking on the bus.

"I've broken up with Charlotte," said one to the other.

"Gosh, how did she take it?" replied his friend.

"She doesn't know yet" he retorted, "Twitter is down."

ELAINE WEBSTER, Cheshire

When travelling by train, I like to face the direction of travel as I feel queasy going backwards. On arrival at Leeds station, the London train was already in the platform so I couldn’t tell which way it would be moving. When I asked the guard on the platform which direction the train would be going, he gave me a puzzled look and replied, “South.”

DEBBIE ALLEN, London

Although not much of a drinker myself, I was recently working at a small bar over the summer. One day a middle-aged man approached the counter and looked me up and down for a few seconds.

130 • MAY 2020

"Have you got a proper job?" he blurted out.

I raised my eyebrows, feeling offended and defensively asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

The man stepped back and looked a little confused for a moment and said, “A Proper Job is the name of a beer.”

BETHANY COOPER, Denbighshire My grandson told me that a friend at school had told him his dad had been to a funeral and had turned into a polar bear. cartoon by Guto Dias

One of the children in my class told me they were writing a book and I enthused over it. I asked him how far he had got and his reply was that, so far, he had done all the page numbers.

GINETTE HUGHES, Hertfordshird

That really confused me, until I heard from his mother that the dad was in fact a pallbearer!

KAREN AITKINS, Manchester

Our son wanted to help me so I asked him to dry the dishes, which he made a good job of. I told him I'd tell his mum how well he had done.

"Argghhh no" he protested, "Please don't, Dad. She doesn't know I can dry dishes yet!"

PAUL AINSWORTH, Manchester

I had to smile when I overheard my five-year-old daughter whisper something in her friend's ear just before she was about to go home, and then added, "Don't forget to tell everyone it's a secret!"

my friend asked for the death certificate. She was rather surprised by the answer of 30 minutes… The lady had walked straight from the hospital to the bank!

DAVE DUGGINS, London

My daughter's teacher drew me to one side after school and said she was concerned because Isabella said she'd received "dog treats" as a birthday present which she thought she was expected to eat.

I had to explain that we'd bought her a puppy that wasn't available to pick up until the weekend so we'd wrapped up dog treats, a lead and a photo of a puppy so she could guess what her present was going to be!

RIA HARDING, Cambridgeshire

AMELIA BARNES, Flintshire

A friend of mine worked for a bank.

One day, she saw a lady who wanted to close an account as her husband had died.

Having given her condolences and checked the details of the account,

I told my daughter off for doing something naughty and said, "I don't want to see you do that again!"

She thought about it and then retorted, "OK, Mummy, can you close your eyes for a minute?"

DEE COLWORTH, Cambridgeshire MAY 2020 • 131

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FUN AND GAMES IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR

Word Power Precision sometimes requires big guns. Drop the following words, each clocking in at 14 letters or more, into your conversation and give your ideas new weight

By Rob Lutes 1. contraindicated—A: rudely

refuted. B: inadvisable for medical treatment. C: proven wrong.

of hand. C: massage technique using fingertip pressure.

8. podobromhidrosis—A: deep

2. quadragenarian—A: person

between 40 and 49 years old.

B: having four corners. C: able to write with one’s feet.

muscle pain. B: slurred speech.

C: smelly feet.

9. bouleversement—A: reversal.

B: celebration. C: critique.

3. punctiliousness—A: devil-may-

care bravado. B: exaggerated and outrageous cruelty. C: strict attention to detail.

4. scolecophagous—A: wormeating. B: burrowing. C: lacking a skeleton.

10. disambiguation—A: unsolvable philosophical quandary. B: reversal of position in a debate. C: clearing up confusion.

11. anthropomorphic—A: having

human characteristics. B: frequently changing. C: extremely old.

5. noctambulation—A: post-

operative care in which a patient gets out of bed at night. B: sleepwalking.

C: violent outbursts during sleep.

12. bowdlerisation—A: dissolution

of country following war. B: removal of offensive material from a text.

C: falling into disrepair.

6. gedankenexperiment—

A: thought experiment. B: scenario that explores moral judgment.

C: test to determine mental acuity.

13. insurrectionist—A: rebel.

B: pessimist. C: builder.

14. tintinnabulation—A: belief in

7. prestidigitation—

A: mathematical shortcut. B: sleight

angels. B: abstruse mathematics used in alchemy. C: ringing of bells.

MAY 2020 • 133

ANSWERS 1. contraindicated—[B] inadvisable

for medical treatment. The drug cured older patients but was contraindicated for anyone under 18.

2. quadragenarian—[A] person

between 40 and 49 years old. Being a quadragenarian is no longer reason enough to retire as an athlete.

3. punctiliousness—[C] strict

attention to detail. Martha’s punctiliousness was evident as she polished every knife on the table.

4. scolecophagous—[A] worm-

eating. The moles were scolecophagous, so Avelino fed them night crawlers.

5. noctambulation—[B] sleepwalking. Terri knew she had to fix her noctambulation.

6. gedankenexperiment—

[A] thought experiment. The job offer in Antarctica was tempting, so Azra did a gedanken-experiment and tried to visualise himself there.

7. prestidigitation—[B]

sleight of hand.

Making cards appear and disappear, the magician wowed the children with his prestidigitation.

8. podobro-

mhidrosis—[C] smelly feet. The 134

second the patient removed his shoes, Dr Dao knew his podobromhidrosis was back.

9. bouleversement—[A] reversal.

In an economic bouleversement, the Canadian dollar was nearly 20 cents higher than that of the US. 10. disambiguation—[C] clearing up confusion. The prime minister’s cryptic words about Quebec required swift disambiguation by his aide to prevent a political storm.

11. anthropomorphic—[A] having human characteristics. The popular new cartoon was filled with anthropomorphic dinosaurs.

12. bowdlerisation—[B] removal of

offensive material from a text. The censor’s cuts to Daryush’s novel amounted to the worst bowdlerisation ever.

13. insurrectionist—[A] rebel.

The sudden seizure of his home transformed Augustin into an insurrectionist against the government.

WORD OF THE DAY*

REDIVIVUS To have been resuscitated Alternative suggestions: "A very cheery book club" "Airborne army seating fail."

"One who licks ticks"

14. tintinna-

bulation—[C] ringing of bells.

On Sundays, Rome came alive with tintinnabulation from churches.

VOCABULARY RATINGS 7–10: Fair 11–12: Good 13–14: Excellent

*POST YOUR DEFINITIONS EVERY DAY AT FACEBOOK.COM/READERSDIGESTUK

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9

Brainteasers Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles, then check your answers on p139

2 3

Draw a path that leads from one of the maze’s openings to the other.

As the path winds from one cell to the next, it can move up, down, left or right but not diagonally. It cannot pass through any cell more than once. A black number tells you how many cells the path passes through in the corresponding row or column.

A red number indicates the total number of cells the path passes through in the corresponding row and column. Can you trace the path?

14 4 25 45

20

136 • MAY 2020

25

4

5 5 6

3

4

Go forth, subtract and multiply Fill the whole numbers from 1 to 9 into the cells, using each number once. If the three numbers in any given row, from left to right, and the three numbers in any column, from top to bottom, are A, B and C, then the number provided for that row or column is equal to (A − B) × C.

(Path Puzzle) Roderick Kimball; (Go Forth, Subtract and Multiply) Darren Rigby

Path puzzle

FUN & GAMES

Dominoes A standard double-six set of 28 dominoes has been arranged into the rectangle on the right. Can you draw in the lines to show the placement of the dominoes? We’ve shown each one on the left so you can cross them off as you find them.

(Dominoes; True Blue) Fraser Simpson

True blue Noah, Esmé, Shubham and Olivia are wearing solid-colour shirts. The colours of their four shirts are red, yellow, green and blue. Only the person in the blue shirt tells the truth, while the other three people lie. They make the following statements: Noah: “Shubham is wearing a red shirt.”

Esmé: “Noah is not wearing a yellow shirt.”

Shubham: “Esmé is wearing a blue shirt.”

Olivia: “I’m going to wear a blue shirt tomorrow.”

Can you determine each person’s shirt colour, and whether or not we can expect to see Olivia in a blue shirt tomorrow?

MAY 2020 • 137

BRAINTEASERS

CROSSWISE Test your general knowledge.

Answers on p142

ACROSS 1 Hang loosely (6) 5 Church songbook (7) 10 Under an assumed name (9) 11 Strictly accurate (5) 12 Ogle (4) 13 Not merely local (8) 16 Efflux (7) 17 Stevedore (6) 18 Period of history (3) 20 Bother (6) 22 Not this one and not that one (7) 25 Supporter of a monarch (8) 26 Fijian capital (4) 29 Between (5) 30 Take turns (9) 31 Phantom (7) 32 Pedlar (6)

DOWN 2 Aged (7) 3 Jokes (4) 4 Send forth (4) 5 Fuel (10) 6 Constituent of vinegar (6,4) 7 Learner (7) 8 Child’s toy (6) 9 Crest (7) 14 Torch (10) 15 Lottery (10) 19 Unrealistic person (7) 21 From now on (3,4) 23 Transport charge (7) 24 Keyboard instruments (6) 27 Where many land speed records have been attempted (4) 28 Fill out (4)

READER’S DIGEST

BRAINTEASERS ANSWERS Path puzzle 2 3 4

£50 PRIZE QUESTION In this puzzle, each block is equal to the sum of the two numbers beneath it. Can you find the missing numbers (one of them is a negative number)?

5

42

5 6

3

15

4

32

3 Go forth, subtract and multiply 8

6

7 14

3

1

2

9

4

5 25

4

45 20 25

4

THE FIRST CORRECT ANSWER WE PICK WINS £50!* Email excerpts@readersdigest.co.uk

Dominoes

ANSWER TO APRIL’S PRIZE QUESTION

True blue Esmé is wearing red, Noah is in yellow, Shubham is in green and Olivia is in blue.

Olivia will wear a blue shirt again tomorrow.

A: Arthur Ashe Stadium, New York B: B eijing National Stadium (also known as the Bird’s Nest), Beijing C: The Maracanã, Rio de Janeiro D: Yankee Stadium, New York

AND THE £50 GOES TO… IAN FORSTER, Essex

FUN & GAMES

Laugh!

WIN £30

for every reader’s joke we publish!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

My girlfriend’s dog died recently, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She was livid.

“What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

Comedian GARY DELANEY How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look out for the fresh prints.

KADYN BRADSHAW, via email

I wrote a book about chopping onions. Read it and weep! Seen on Reddit I just found out that they make glue and gelatin from horses’ hooves. I feel absolutely terrible. I don’t know about you, but I’ve just been throwing all my dead horses in the trash. Seen on Reddit 140 • MAY 2020

When I was young, my mother used to put food on the spoon and say, “There’s a train coming, there’s a train coming.” We’d always eat it, because otherwise she wouldn’t untie us from the railway tracks.

Comedian MILTON JONES

Obesity runs in my family. Well, “runs” isn’t really fair. It’s probably more of a waddle.

Seen on Reddit You know what the best feeling in the world is? When you finally take the time to call a friend you haven’t spoken to in years. And they don’t pick up the phone.

Comedian FUNNYMAN FIELDS

The advantages of easy oragami ARE TWOFOLD. Seen online

Purr-fect Smiles I’m trying to learn how to be a more sensitive lover. I bought a DVD called How to Improve Your Foreplay. I had to fast forward through the boring bit at the beginning obviously. I mean, I don’t know why they bothered with that.

Comedian GARY DELANEY

THESE CAT OWNERS HAVE ADDED A HILARIOUS CARTOON GRIN TO THEIR FURRY FRIENDS via sadanduseless.com

I used to work in a shoe recycling factory. It was sole destroying.

Submitted via email

Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do.

He spent his whole life in the kebab business and was even buried with all his equipment.

He’s probably turning in his grave.

Comedian STEWART FRANCIS

I did a sponsored walk once. In the end, I’d raised so much money, I could afford a taxi.

Comedian JIMMY CARR I went to a Chinese restaurant recently and this duck came up to me with a MAY 2020 • 141

LAUGH

red rose and said, “Your eyes sparkle like diamonds.”

I said, “Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck!”

Comedian PETER KAY

My mother told me you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to.

Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.

Comedian SARAH MILLICAN

I went to see a handwriting expert last week. It was amazing, she could tell that I was laidback, gullible and well off just from the signature on a cheque.

Comedian LEE MACK What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it? Doesn’t matter!

Submitted via email I hate weathermen, the ones who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing. Get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little.

Unhappy Campers Twitter users share stories from their last camping trips @BatesEricka: My family was singing Kumbaya together when the park ranger came and asked if we could keep it down or pick another song. @KaraMarie6791: I thought that I had packed a tent but instead, I had accidentally packed a pop-up football goal. @MarcMacWebb: Pulled off the road late one night and thought we’d found a really nice spot, but woke up on a golf course.

Comedian BILLY CONNOLLY

Grapes are my favourite fruit because you always get another chance. You know, if you’re having a rubbish peach or apple, you’re stuck with that rubbish piece of fruit.

But if you have a rubbish grape, no problem!

Just move onto the next. Grapes: the fruit of hope.

Comedian DEMETRI MARTIN

@PreSchlTeacher: I took an air mattress on a camping trip but I forgot to pack the pump, so I slept on the ground all week. Got home to realise that the pump was built into the mattress.

CROSSWORD ANSWERS Across: 1 Dangle, 5 Psalter, 10 Incognito, 11 Exact, 12 Leer, 13 Regional, 16 Outflow, 17 Loader, 18 Era, 20 Hassle, 22 Neither, 25 Royalist, 26 Suva, 29 Among, 30 Alternate, 31 Spectre, 32 Hawker.

Down: 2 Ancient, 3 Gags, 4 Emit, 5 Propellant, 6 Acetic acid, 7 Trainee, 8 Rattle, 9 Hilltop, 14 Flashlight, 15 Sweepstake, 19 Dreamer, 21 Any more, 23 Haulage, 24 Organs, 27 Utah, 28 Grow.

142 • MAY 2020

60 Second Stand-Up We chat to quick-witted comedian, Matt Forde WHAT’S THE BEST PART OF YOUR CURRENT SHOW? I always try to put my favourite bit near the end, so I think my Donald Trump impression. I imagine a joint press conference between Trump and Boris Johnson.

WHO INSPIRES YOUR COMEDY? Topical comedy like Have I Got News For You, Rory Bremner and even reading Private Eye. Those were the main things in helping me discover really biting political comedy, that was so invigorating. I thought Rory Bremner’s show in the 1990s was so sharp and so relentless. He’s probably the best impressionist who’s ever lived.

DO YOU HAVE ANY FUNNY TALES ABOUT A TIME YOU BOMBED? A lot of them I’ve blacked out!

One of my early ones was a gig in Mansfield. Some kind woman at the back said, “Oh come on, just give him a chance”, and the audience laughed at how pathetic it was.

The guy who came on after me said, “That was Matt Forde, wasn’t he s**t”, and the whole place roared.

FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.

DO YOU FIND ANY PARTS OF THE COUNTRY FUNNIER THAN OTHERS? Not really, I think different places have different personalities, I’m from Nottingham so I think it’s one of the funniest places on earth, there’s something about the accent that’s inherently funny. But one of the reassuring things about the UK is that everywhere has its own weirdos.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE ONE LINER? It’s a Tim Vine joke, “I went to Tesco and bought a bread chess set and my friend said, ‘that’s stale mate’.

I said, ‘really?’

He said, ‘check mate.’ ” IF YOU COULD BE A FLY ON THE WALL, WHOSE WALL WOULD IT BE? I would love to see what Liam Gallagher’s life is like. To be a fly on the wall of his tour bus would be very interesting. And as a fly you’d probably get drunk and high off the fumes. n

Matt Forde will be touring the UK in autumn 2020.

For information on shows and tickets visit mattforde. com/live

LAUGH

Beat the Cartoonist!

IN THE JUNE ISSUE

NO REGRETS? Think of a witty caption for this cartoon—the three best suggestions, along with the cartoonist’s original, will be posted on our website in mid-May. If your entry gets the most votes, you’ll win £50.

Submit to captions@readersdigest.co.uk or online at readersdigest.co.uk/fun-games by May 7.

We’ll announce the winner in our July issue.

MARCH’S WINNER

Many people are unable to live fulfilling lives because of regrets—learn how you can leave it all behind

THE FIGHT FOR NUCLEAR DISARMAMENT This year marks the 75th anniversary of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki—we speak to the people dedicated to ensuring humanity doesn’t destroy itself with nuclear weapons

+

Our cartoonist has been beaten once more, as his caption, “And how long has your porridge needed to be just right?” couldn’t compete with our reader, Alan Carvell, who won voters over with her funny suggestion, “And how long have you been talking to bears?” Congratulations Alan!

144

cartoons by Bill Houston

THE ART OF BOOKSHELVES Ever wondered what your bookshelf says about you?