Reader's Digest UK Mar 2019

R E A D E R ’ S

HEALTH • MONEY • TRAVEL • RECIPES • FASHION • TECHNOLOGY

D I G E S T

MARCH 2019

| S M A L L A N D

HIGH TIME

P E R F E C T LY

Is Britain Ready For Legalised Cannabis?

Suzi Quatro

I N F O R M E D

On Grief, Guitars And Gender

|

INSPIRE

M A R C H

Best Of British

2 0 1 9

7

Homes Of Great Artists

readersdigest.co.uk

MARCH 2019

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Contents MARCH 2019

Features 16 IT’S A MANN’S WORLD

28

Olly Mann ponders Britain’s unique relationship with booze

p

ENTERTAINMENT

20 INTERVIEW: SIMON AMSTELL The actor and comedian on overcoming his fear of intimacy and finding inner peace

28 “I REMEMBER”: SUZI QUATRO The rock star looks back on her fascinating life and career

HEALTH 38 BEATING ARRHYTHMIA

More than 2 million people in the UK experience irregular heartbeat—are you one of them?

56 PARENTS SAYING NO

TO ‘KEEPING MUM’ Could mental health troubles actually improve your parenting?

64 LISTEN UP Amazing facts about the human ear and the fascinating process of hearing COVER ILLUSTRATION © DANNY ALLISON

78

p

70

INSPIRE

MEDICAL MARIJUANA Is Britain headed down the path to legalising cannabis?

78

BEST OF BRITISH: ARTISTS’ HOUSES We explore the houses of some of Britain’s most vibrant artists TR AVEL & ADVENTURE

90 CELEBRATING CIDER

Delve into the rich culture of cider in Spain’s Basque region MARCH 2019 • 1

DIGESTED N E W M O N T H LY P O D CA S T Each month Reader’s Digest navigate the woes and wonders of modern life, weighing in with leading experts on the everyday tools we need to survive and thrive in 2019.

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Contents MARCH 2019

In every issue 8 12

Over to You See the World Differently

46 50

HEALTH Advice: Susannah Hickling Column: Dr Max Pemberton

106

INSPIRE If I Ruled the World: Alfie Boe

p

98 100

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE My Great Escape Foodie Retreats

114

102

MONEY Column: Andy Webb

86

FOOD & DRINK Tasty recipes and ideas from Rachel Walker

106

HOME & GARDEN Column: Cassie Pryce

110

86

p

116

FASHION & BEAUTY Column: Lisa Lennkh on how to look your best Beauty

118

ENTERTAINMENT March’s cultural highlights

122 127

BOOKS March Fiction: James Walton’s recommended reads Books That Changed My Life: Peter May

128

TECHNOLOGY Column: Olly Mann

130 133 136 140 143 144

FUN & GAMES You Couldn’t Make It Up Word Power Brain Teasers Laugh!

60-Second Stand-Up Beat the Cartoonist

MARCH 2019 • 3

“ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR WEST END MUSICALS EVER.” Evening Standard

THE UNTOLD STORY OF THE WITCHES OF OZ

©WLPL.

Acclaimed as “the hit musical with brains, heart and courage” (The Sunday Telegraph), the multi award-winning musical phenomenon is now celebrating 12 spellbinding years in the West End. This celebrated production transports audiences to a stunningly re-imagined world of Oz, providing wonders beyond the imagination…

Ingeniously re-imagining the stories and characters created by L. Frank Baum in ‘The Wonderful Wizard of Oz’, WICKED tells the incredible untold story of an unlikely friendship between two sorcery students.

Their extraordinary adventures in Oz will ultimately see them fulfil their destinies as Glinda The Good and the Wicked Witch of the West West.

APOLLO VICTORIA THEATRE • LONDON •

tickets.readersdigest.co.uk • 020 7400 1238

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MARCH 2019 • 5

In This Issue…

EDITORS’ LETTERS

Holidaying in Amsterdam in January, I was surprised by the proliferation of casual cannabis use in the city.

Of course, I knew that the drug was decriminalised, but I wasn’t prepared for the sheer volume of “coffeeshops” (where patrons can legally smoke the weed) and cannabis-infused products—from lollipops, to bath salts, to herbal teas—that were readily available to the passing tourist. It was hard to avoid the nagging thought—if cannabis use has been so readily and smoothly accepted in the Netherlands, what exactly is all the fuss about back home? On p70, Californian writer Danielle Simone Brand asks just that, explaining the effect legalisation has had on her home state, and musing on whether Britain is close to making the same move.

Anna Ever since I watched one of his stand-up shows many years ago, I’ve been a big fan of Simon Amstell. I was struck by his unique brand of boldness, lightning wit, and the willingness to expose his most vulnerable self to the world, turning his weaknesses into an ample source of comedy and growth rather than a reason for self-flagellation. As expected, our conversation turned out to be one of the most unusual interviews I’ve ever done. To be in Simon’s presence is to witness an incredibly complex but kind human mind that’s constantly running at breakneck speed. Read all about his discerning yet giggly musings on life, love and intimacy in the modern age on p20.

Eva

Follow us facebook.com/readersdigestuk twitter.com/readersdigestuk @readersdigest_uk You can also sign up to our newsletter at readersdigest.co.uk Reader’s Digest is published in 27 editions in 11 languages MARCH 2019 • 7

Over To You LETTERS ON THE JANUARY ISSUE

We pay £50 for Letter of the Month and £30 for all others

Letter of THE MONTH I have just been reintroduced to your magazine after an abstention of a number of years and I have to say, I had forgotten how good and interesting the articles are.

I couldn’t put your January issue down until I had finished it.

I found the short article by Jonathon Hancock, in relation to memory training, particularly interesting and a little poignant.

I come from a family who are susceptible to Alzheimer’s disease in old age (I lost my father two years ago to this terrible illness) and while I accept the genetically likely consequences, I do not believe in its inevitability. The

old adage of “use it or lose it” is as true today as it has always been. The brain is a muscle that must regularly be exercised. I have just acquired the Twitter app on my mobile so that I can access your daily challenge.

For the same reason I enjoyed your review, “The Art of Ageing” on Carl Honore’s book which I am considering purchasing.

Doesn’t life seem better when we adopt a positive approach?

Well, I will go and organise my Reader’s Digest subscription right away!

Mel Ogden, North Lincolnshire

READER’S DIGEST

A MAN OF MANY LIVES

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT GINGE

I found Don McCullin’s “I Remember” absolutely riveting! Such modesty, yet a life truly lived on the edge. Each of his memories was so evocative, from growing up in Britain during the war with the realities of being a school-boy in London, then an evacuee in the countryside, to how he came to be a photographer, and the different civilisations he has been a part of around the globe.

It made me reflect on how lucky I am to have been born in this time. This year, I’ve resolved to get more involved with cultural activities. Soon, I shall be meeting up with old school friends in London, and I will suggest that before we go for afternoon tea, we must visit Sir Don’s exhibition at the Tate Britain.

I was very amused to read your article, “You’ve Got To Be Kitten Me”. I found myself in the same situation with my own mature feline friend who needed the company of another cat.

We had home checks—which the cattery insisted on—and into our life came little Lola, a new companion to a very disgruntled Ginge, who thought, I’m doing very nicely, thank you very much, who is this creature you’ve brought to my house?

Fortunately, the amount of hackles are reducing and the hissing appears to have stopped.

Good article and it made me howl with laughter.

Catherine Lucas, Hampshire

Marie Smith, Leicestershire

THE DYNAMIC DUO

I wanted to say just how much I enjoyed your interview with Steve Coogan. I was particularly fascinated by Steve’s observations about Stan Laurel’s obsessive nature, and his inability to “switch off” from comedy even when his famous partnership with Hardy was flagging. After reading the interview I couldn’t wait to see Stan and Ollie. Laurel and Hardy performed in my home town as part of that fated tour, and I was interested to discover what went on behind the scenes. Coogan certainly shares Stan Laurel’s comic talent. In spite of the film’s emotional storyline, I was still chuckling throughout. I will certainly be going back to watch the original skits.

Amber Phillips, Essex

MARCH 2019 • 9

OV E R TO YO U

SEXUAL HEALING I found Amanda Riley’s article “Sex After 50” in the January issue very moving as so many of the comments resonated with my own experience.

I’m in my mid-fifties and, like Aggie MacKenzie and Sarah Morris, I hadn’t had sex for around ten years. I was happy enough but then, just over a year ago, I began a relationship. I was anxious about stripping off and whether I’d be any good after a ten-year gap. What I discovered was that none of that mattered because having sex was now more about intimacy, being at ease with one another and, most importantly, relaxing and enjoying it. Sex in later life is different to the enthusiastic athleticism of youth. It can be just as passionate, but somehow more intimate, more caring and delightfully enjoyable.

Denise Morton, Nottinghamshire

HOME COMFORTS Helen Sanderson’s “Ask the Expert” interview on de-cluttering really struck a chord with me. Since having my third baby last August we have been planning a loft and a garage conversion and I’ve been on a quest to de-clutter our house. It’s incredible how many things we accumulate that are “lost” in cupboards. My strategies for decluttering are: passing things on to friends or family, selling anything of value, taking old clothes to a charity shop (they even take rags, which are

weighed and they earn 50p per kilo) or putting things on sites such as Freecycle, where people will come to collect from your house.

While it would be so easy to just put everything into the bin, it’s our responsibility to recycle and avoid waste which will end up in landfill sites. With three children, it will no doubt be an ongoing process, but at least I have made a start.

Susannah Harrison, East Sussex

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10 • MARCH 2019

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IT’S A MANN’S WORLD

Mastering

The Martini This month, Olly Mann, who’s not much of a drinker, raves about his favourite cocktail in the world

I

drink alcohol every night, but I’m not much of a drinker. In Britain, this isn’t especially contradictory. We inhabit such a boozy nation that someone like me—who takes wine with most meals, welcomes each weekend with a G&T, and even subscribes to a craft beer club, for goodness sake—can comfortably herald himself “not much of a drinker.” Since I rarely embark upon an evening with the sole intention of knocking back shots until I can’t remember my name, I identify as not much of a drinker.

Mind you, our nation’s relationship with drunkenness is subtly shifting: millenials are spurning the sauce to keep hold of Olly Mann presents Four Thought for BBC Radio 4, and the award-winning podcasts The Modern Mann and Answer Me This!

16 • MARCH 2019

their cash and their Instagramfriendly abs, and middle-aged personalities such as Clare Pooley (in her book, The Sober Diaries) and Adrian Chiles (in his documentary, Drinkers Like Me) are questioning whether their middle-class, Waitrose-style drinking is as addictive and potentially life-ruining as the Wetherspoon variety (answer: almost certainly). Meanwhile, “Dry January” is growing in popularity, for reasons I cannot fathom. Why would you voluntarily reject the liquid solace that offers the only relief from the dampest, dankest, darkest, most depressing month of drudgery we face? Can’t we just do Dry September, instead?

If I have a problem—and I’m not saying I do, folks, I’m just indulging in a bit of exploratory thinking here—it’s that I’ve mentally adjoined alcohol with an ever-increasing roster of events. Champagne for Valentine’s Day. Prosecco for

12

PHOTO: © PRADEEP RAJA KA NN AI AH/ALA MY STOCK

See the world TURN THE PAGE…

14

PHOTO: © STOC KINASIA/ALAMY STOCK PH OTO

…differently In the evening, when the temperatures in Bangkok are at least a little more agreeable, the gates open to the Talad Rot Fai Night Market. It has roughly 2000 stalls which offer everything from antique cars to Japanese action figures—in fact there is very little here that can’t be found, that is, outside of a train. Ironically enough “Talad Rot Fai” translated actually means “train market”. This name derives from the fact that the location was once directly next to the train tracks. When the railway company decided to expand, the market simply moved to a new location, taking its name with it.

ILLUSTRATION BY EVA BEE

IT’S A MANN’S WORLD

birthdays. Pimm’s in the summer.

Mulled wine at Christmas; well, all December, really. Beer with a barbecue. Port with cheese. Cocktails on a Friday night. Sherry in the trifle.

An aperitif while cooking—lager shandy if it’s something spicy. Aperol Spritz when I’m on a plane—with a Bailey’s nightcap if transatlantic.

Drinks when a colleague switches jobs, drinks for football, drinks for Eurovision, drinks for the theatre, drinks in the interval, drinks drinks drinks. The only time this strikes me as truly problematic is when I observe myself rushing to tuck my son into bed so I can begin the night’s drinking. But I shove that concern to the back of my mind, because I am NOT much of a drinker.

ANYWAY, I MENTION ALL THIS BECAUSE—

despite not being much of a drinker—I am in in love with the Dirty Martini. I can’t recall when I first encountered it, but I suspect it was after Mad Men. (I used to just drink beer and wine, but when I saw Mad Men, and all those cool guys in suits glugging bourbon and whisky and petrol, I found myself reaching for the cocktail cabinet 18 • MARCH 2019

more often). The Dirty Martini matches the glamour of its rival cocktails—it’s shaken over ice, it comes in its own classy little glass— but it’s not sweet, or naff, or bright orange. It’s just a proper hard hit of cold spirit, with a savoury olive kick.

When I’m in the States I drink it is as often as possible (but never before 6pm, because that would mean I have an alcohol problem—and, as I’ve explained, I’m not much of a drinker.) You can go to virtually any bar over there—in an airport, a casino, or at the side of the motorway— and get an exceptional Dirty Martini. I like mine with vodka rather than gin, a twist of lemon and “extra dirty,” ie, with about two tablespoons of brine in it—which is disgusting when you think about it, but I don’t think about it, I just drink it.

But I’ve struggled to find a comparable one in the UK. Obviously it’s not a regular order down at the Dog and Duck, and that’s to be expected, but I’ve really scoured London—The Ivy, the American Bar at the Savoy, even a bar in City that’s actually called Dirty Martini—and I’ve yet to find one as perfect

READER’S DIGEST

“When I saw Mad Men, and all those cool guys in suits glugging bourbon, I found myself reaching for the cocktail cabinet more often”

as I routinely enjoy in the US. So, I started to make them at home.

I add two parts vodka to one part vermouth, shake over ice, add a spritz of lemon bitters, rim the glass with lemon and serve with an olive, a slice of lemon and LOADS of brine.

I’m very proud of my Dirty Martini.

All my friends have been forced to try one. I’ve been drinking it, probably

twice a week, for at least five years.

But then, last week, I stumbled across an online article about my favourite tipple, and suddenly realised for all this time I’ve been USING THE WRONG VERMOUTH! I’ve been casually buying Martini Bianco whenever I trudge through Duty Free, but apparently that’s a “sweet, pale vermouth best served with tonic water,” and for a “real” Dirty Martini I should be using dry vermouth, such as Noilly Prat.

I have taken this news badly, immediately spending £15 in the supermarket buying the “right” kind of vermouth, to make sure no more evenings of sipping Dirty Martinis are WASTED. But who can blame me for this schoolboy error? I’m not much of a drinker, after all. n

FACTS OF THE STAGE Shakespeare’s Globe is the only building in London allowed to have a thatched roof since the Great Fire in 1666 Prior to becoming Pope, Pope John Paul II wrote a play called The Jeweller’s Shop which played the Westminster Theatre in 1982

William Shakespeare once lived in a house on the present day site of The Barbican Centre Two seats are permantly bolted open at the Palace Theatre for the theatre ghosts to sit in

William Shakespeare once had to play Lady Macbeth when Hal Berridge, the boy playing her, died suddenly SOURCE: WHATSONSTAGE.COM

MARCH 2019 • 19

“ I Was Terrified

Of Intimacy” Simon Amstell

H

e’s best known for his controversial stint as the host of Never Mind the Buzzcocks between 2006–2008, as well as for his introspective, hilariously neurotic stand-up shows and his work on such projects as the comedy series, Grandma’s House and the bonkers veganism mockumentary, Carnage.

Now 39, Simon Amstell returns with his second feature film, Benjamin, a journey deep into his formerly troubled, 20-something psyche.

I wasn’t sure which Simon to expect when I met him at a busy Soho café on a crisp winter morning: the mocking Buzzcocks host or the fragile ego-ed comedian who once professed that instead of easing it, his cat had become a mascot for his loneliness.

I found him sitting in a secluded

20 • MARCH 2019

corner of the room, his lanky frame hunched over the tiny table. Oddly, he seemed restless and giggly, as if he was nervous to talk to me. “Look! I’m wearing long johns!” he exclaimed, frantically pulling up his socks, when I mentioned the weather. We were off to a strange start.

Simon’s new film, Benjamin, tells the story of a rising young filmmaker (played exquisitely by Northern Irish actor, Colin Morgan), who’s struggling with self-doubt and severe social anxiety brought on by the impending release of his second film, and a burgeoning romance with the dreamy French musician, Noah.

“I looked at the relationships and friendships I’d been in, and slowly found that it was a film about someone who’s terrified of

© HARRY CARR

Actor and comedian Simon Amstell opens up to Eva Mackevic about his troubled past, what drives his comedy, and his new film, Benjamin

© JEFF VES PA/WIREI MAGE/GETTY I M AGES

ENTERTAINMENT

21

INTERVIEW: SIMON AMSTELL

that “II thought had to be

intimacy, but eventually lets himself be vulnerable enough to love and be loved,” he tells me in that characteristically high-pitched tone, avoiding direct eye-contact.

It’s hard not to draw analogies between Benjamin and Amstell who, like the character, is in the process of releasing his second film and frequently pokes fun at his own social ineptness and insecurities in his stand-up routines.

“It is autobiographical but not in terms of the exact events that happened in the film. I’d felt all the things that the character feels but not in the locations or with the characters that he feels them. I think the film is emotionally true,” he explains.

The comedian claims that he 22 • MARCH 2019

struggled with opening up and letting himself be vulnerable throughout his twenties, using humour as a defence mechanism. Perhaps it’s no coincidence that it was around that time that Simon started hosting Never Mind the Buzzcocks, gaining notoriety for his scathing wit and ruthless treatment of guests, which resulted in several walk-offs, including the infamous Preston episode.

“I thought that I had to be funny in every situation or I was worthless.

It was a panic button that I pressed when I didn’t know what else to do.

I was incredibly defensive. I felt I wasn’t enough. It can’t be that this beautiful boy wants to kiss you. You have to show him something first. You have to put on a bit of a performance before they’ll want to. I think I

KEN M CKAY/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK

funny in every situation or I was worthless”

READER’S DIGEST

Clockwise from top: Phénix Brossard and Colin Morgan in Benjamin; Simon at The British Comedy Awards, 2007; directing on the set of Benjamin

learned that I’ve just been trying very hard to get people’s attention.”

I wonder aloud whether that problem is typical of a whole generation of young people who can no longer connect with each other organically, due to heavy reliance on social media and dating apps.

Simon pauses, formulating his thoughts before unexpectedly bursting into laughter: “Everything you’re saying is so much better than what I’m saying, you should just probably write that down.

But it’s true,” he gets serious. “All young people are writer-performers.

Everyone’s presenting a version of themselves in a way that’s incredibly disconnecting. Apps just exaggerate problems that have always been there with dating. If your head is in MARCH 2019 • 23

INTERVIEW: SIMON AMSTELL

your phone it’s probably because you’re addicted. And if you’re addicted to something, you’re out of the alignment with what your body needs. I think you might do better romantically by just being in the world with a feeling of curiosity and joy rather than a feeling of lack which comes from not being accepted or chosen enough.”

Luckily for Simon, he no longer has to grapple with these feelings. He’s been in a committed relationship for seven years, which, as he admits, was an odd feeling to begin with.

“It took me a while to get comfortable with something being comfortable.” He speaks slowly, 24 • MARCH 2019

recalling the early days of his relationship. “It was so unfamiliar to me… I was concerned about the lack of drama; he didn’t seem to need to be rescued, he didn’t seem like he wanted to fix me either, and that contentment was troubling,” he chuckles.

I ask what’s kept them together for all these years. Simon explains that it all comes down to communication.

“If one of us is thinking something that might cause some tension in the relationship, we bring it up and then the tension dies, and that seems to be the key,” he smiles.

He tells me about a time in France that assured him that he really was happy with his boyfriend.

READER’S DIGEST

was concerned “Iabout the lack

© HARRY CARR

of drama—he didn’t seem to need to be rescued and he didn’t want to fix me either”

“It was a year or two into the relationship. I fell asleep next to him and dreamt that I was in a sex dungeon being seduced by this very wet young man. I panicked in the dream, thinking that I’d betrayed the best relationship I’d ever been in. But then I woke up and thought, What if that’s who I really am? You can’t argue with your unconscious, maybe I’m an animal who wants to be in this dungeon with this guy all the time and everything else is a social construct?

But then, I went to my boyfriend’s mum’s birthday dinner, where his brother gave a speech about how much he loves his parents—he said this totally sincerely, it was so alien to me— in particular, how accepting they’ve been no matter who their children turned out to be. I started crying in that moment and turned to my boyfriend and said, ‘This is better than a sex dungeon.’ ” As we talked over coffee, I discovered several sides of Simon Amstell: the jittery conversationalist who nervously mimics your body language; the mature screenwriter who has learned to be comfortable in his own skin and left attention seeking behind; a settled man who has found solace in the everyday routine of life with his partner… and Simon the fantasy sex dungeon enthusiast. Of course.

Benjamin is out in cinemas across the UK on March 15. Read our review on p118 MARCH 2019 • 25

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ENTERTAINMENT

Suzi Quatro

I REMEMBER… Suzi Quatro, 68, is an American musician and the first female bass player to become a major rock star. She’s known for such hits as “Can the Can “, “Stumblin In”, as well as her role on the popular sitcom, Happy Days …MY LITTLE SISTER WHO IS NEARLY THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME BEING brought home from the hospital. I was the baby up until that point, and I remember feeling extremely jealous when she came because everybody was saying, “Oh, what a beautiful baby.”

I was only three, so I was entitled to feel that way. Growing up, we were very close, actually—we had a good relationship—more than anyone else in the family. Nancy and I were good buddies.

28 • MARCH 2019

…BITING NANCY’S FINGERS WHEN SHE WAS IN THE CRIB. I would run upstairs, she’d be crying, crying and I could hear [the parents] saying, “What’s the matter with this baby?” And when I was about eight, I confessed—I cried my eyes out, saying that I was really sorry for biting her fingers. …I LIKED SCHOOL VERY MUCH BUT I WASN’T ONE OF THOSE ASSIDUOUS STUDENTS, let’s put it that way. I had the ability to be

I REMEMBER…

one and I did well in all my aptitude tests but I was more concerned with being an entertainer from a very early age. …THE FIRST HOUSE THAT I LIVED IN, IN DETROIT, WAS GORGEOUS—it had four bedrooms, was on three levels and had a big basement. It was a real family home.

It had three pianos, and tons of musical instruments, as we were a musical family. It wasn’t one of the richest ones but it was a nice house. I 30 • MARCH 2019

grew up in Grosse Pointe, which is the ritzy suburb with many mansions. We didn’t have a mansion, but we had a very nice house. I can’t remember ever having my own bedroom until I got much older. …MY FATHER WAS A MUSICIAN AND HE PLAYED THE KEYBOARD. He also played the violin and the accordion. I have to say, all five of us [kids] were very musical. Everyone in the family can play more than one instrument.

ROGER BAMBER/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK

“I DID WELL IN ALL MY APTITUDE TESTS BUT I WAS MORE CONCERNED WITH BEING AN ENTERTAINER FROM AN EARLY AGE ”

READER’S DIGEST

…MY BEST FRIEND, LINDA, IS THE GIRL I GREW UP WITH IN DETROIT. We have known each other since the age of four. We were little devils. We had a similar family—she lived one door away and they had five kids the same age, just like us. I met her when she moved in.

I saw furniture coming in, went right up to the house and stood on the lawn and her opening words to me were, “Hey, get off my lawn,” so we always laugh about that. …ONE OF MY WONDERFUL IDEAS WHEN I WAS SEVEN was to get what we call potato chips— crisps—and spread them all over the kitchen floor, and slide.

It sounded like a good idea. Linda’s mother came in and all I can remember was her looking at me and knowing it was my idea. But she didn’t say anything— she just put my snowsuit back on, zipped me up and sent me home.

Where I got the idea from, I really don’t know. …AT THE AGE OF EIGHT IT STARTED TO DAWN ON ME that whenever I got up to do my bit, whatever it might be, that I held this audience, and I realised that I had the entertainment gene in me. When you are little you see things like that

and it was nothing to do with ego— I just remember thinking, Oh, I am holding this audience, so it became a part of my psyche. …WHEN I WAS 14, WE SAW THE BEATLES ON TV and decided to form a band. We got a couple of other girls who were sisters, and another girl whose father used to play in my dad’s band. We all got on the phone and shouted at the same time about who would play what. I didn’t say anything for a while until I went, “What am I going to play?”

And my older sister said, “You are going to play bass,” and I said, “Okay.”

I didn’t even think about it. I went to my dad and asked him if he had a bass guitar and he gave me the Rolls Royce of bass guitars, which is a 1957 Fender Precision. I put it on and it was an another epiphany: I said, “Oh wow, this is me.” …WITHIN THREE MONTHS WE HAD OUR FIRST SHOW, so I’ve now been doing this job for 54 years— a long time. The very first gig I ever played, the first time on the stage, I had the feeling that I had come home—that was pretty impressive.

Rock ‘n’ roll is my first love but I’ve done a lot of acting as well as radio work on BBC2 since 1991. I’ve done MARCH 2019 • 31

I REMEMBER…

TV, had my own talk show, done West End, written my own musical, became a published poet and my first novel came out in 2017. I’ve also written my autobiography and I’m gigging a lot! …BEING TOLD BY JACKIE COLLINS, WHO GAVE ME A QUOTE FOR MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY, THAT I COULD WRITE. She said, “You are really good.” I said, “If I want to write a novel, can you give me any advice?”

And she replied, “Yes—just stick with what you know at the beginning”, and so I did.

The Hurricane starts off with a rock chick and from then, it just flies. I use familiarity to create a character, but it’s totally different from me. It’s quite realistic and has a shock ending that nobody ever expects coming. …DETROIT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A HUGE MUSIC CITY, especially in the 1960s, at the advent of Motown.

It was an absolutely wonderful musical city to have grown up in.

We had famous people in our house non-stop. I was in the band since I was 14 and we played gigs with all these people. My brother was a known musician and he became an agent for quite a while so he promoted all these 32 • MARCH 2019

bands, hence, we all knew each other really well. ...MY ROLE MODELS WERE MALE. I don’t do gender, I never have. I just don’t think about male, female— I never even called myself a female musician. I remember singing in an all-girl band, which was my sister’s idea—but I didn’t give a s**t about singing in an all-girl band. I didn’t care who was in the band either way—they could have been monkeys as long as they could play. …SEEING ELVIS ON TELEVISION THE FIRST TIME when I was six and having an epiphany when it occurred to me that I was going to do what he did. It’s a crazy, young age for that to happen but that’s exactly what happened. It was an internal [realisation] but I kept being a fan all the way through and when I started the band, we did Elvis songs.

It just kept rolling and became a tradition of mine to cover at least one Elvis song on an album. …IN 1974, I WAS IN AMERICA WITH MY ENGLISH FAMILY. I had some hits under my belt, and I got a call at my hotel in Memphis from Elvis’s people. He came on and invited me to Graceland, which sort

READER’S DIGEST

Suzi starring in Happy Days

M OVI ESTORE COLLECTION LTD / ALAMY STOCK P HOTO

“I DIDN’T GIVE A S**T ABOUT SINGING IN AN ALL-GIRL BAND. THEY COULD’VE BEEN MONKEYS AS LONG AS THEY COULD PLAY” of freaked me out. He’d heard [my version of] “All Shook Up” and said it was the best version since his own and would I like to come to Graceland—but I turned him down.

I wasn’t ready yet. I never actually met him face-to-face but I don’t regret it because I eventually wrote a very important song about him—Elvis imitators do it and it is played at funerals. It has become quite a “beneath the radar” song that everybody knows, called “Singing with Angels.” It was a tribute to him.

…WHEN I WAS ON HAPPY DAYS. It was my first ever acting job and it was something I had wanted to do for a long time so when this offer came along, I took it and it was a great decision. I’m really glad I did it; it gave me a lot of joy. I played a very popular character—Leather Tuscadero—and I received the second most fan mail after the Fonz, which is quite something. It was a brilliant show and I am still in touch with them all—it was a great experience.

MARCH 2019 • 33

I REMEMBER…

Posing with her parents

…ACTING IN MINDER, DEMPSEY & MAKEPEACE, AND RECENTLY ON MIDSOMER MURDERS. Acting is the same instinct as music—it’s about communicating by speaking instead of singing the lyrics of a song. It’s the same performing instinct. …BEING INDUCTED INTO THE MICHIGAN ROCK AND ROLL LEGENDS HALL OF FAME—it was great to be recognised in my home state. It’s always nice to achieve something but my greatest award 34 • MARCH 2019

came in October 2016 when I became an Honorary Doctor of Music—I received my award at Cambridge University and that’s hard to beat.

They just contacted me and said, “Would you be willing to accept?”

I said, “Are you kidding? Of course I would.” It was a very humbling experience. …MY HUSBAND, RAINER HAAS, WAS A PROMOTER. We got together pretty quickly—three months from the first kiss to getting married. He

ASSOCI ATED NEWSPAP ERS/REX/SH UTTERSTOCK

“I AM A ‘WALK THROUGH FIRE’ TYPE OF PERSON. I DON’T HIDE FROM PAIN, I WILL GO STRAIGHT INTO IT AND GET BURNED”

READER’S DIGEST

basically looks after me now—we don’t use the word “manager”— because I am very independent, but he looks after me. We are actually quite a good team; if we argue, we listen to each other. I will listen to reason; if you can tell me how I am wrong, I’ll take your suggestion. He always says I am unmanageable. He goes, “You don’t need to be managed because you’ve got a brain yourself.” …MICKIE MOST WAS MY MANAGER FOR QUITE A LONG TIME. We are both Geminis so we were very similar, but not very easy people. We are very complicated— we have quicksilver moods, but we got along well, Mickey and I. We understood each other completely and we talked the same language. I worked with him from 1971 up until he died.

He was my luckiest break—he’s the one who discovered me and the band in Detroit and offered me a solo contract. …MY TOUGHEST TIME WAS PROBABLY THE YEAR THAT I WAS SINGLE after I split from my first husband, Len Tuckey, because when you are with somebody for that long it’s very hard to break up; we had two kids as well, which makes it even more emotionally difficult. He left

the house in October, then in December my mother died, and ten days later my ex mother-in-law died.

It was a really confusing year. I got through it by spending a lot of time alone and working out who I was and just becoming stronger, and comfortable with myself. You have to go inside yourself. I am very much a “walk through the fire” type of person. I don’t hide from the pain, I will go straight into it and get burned but my strength comes from walking back out the other side. … MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAID “NEVER SAY NEVER,” WHICH ALWAYS STUCK WITH ME. I try not to put the blocks down, because if you do that then you don’t allow yourself to change and I am very open to everything. All my channels are always open. I try not to have any regrets because I believe that every mistake you make is meant to teach you—you have to have your life‘s lessons. So I try not to regret, I try to learn. I’ve always been the kind to analyse—have I done wrong, why I did it, what it means to me now—and I don’t do it again. n As told to Joy Persaud Suzi is performing in the Legends Live UK Tour in April. Book now via legendslive.org MARCH 2019 • 35

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HEALTH

More than 2 million people in the UK experience heart rhythm problems— could you be one of them?

BY LYN N E WA LLI S

Beating

Arrhythmia A

bout five years ago, in my early fifties, I noticed a difference in my heartbeat.

Sometimes it went a lot faster than normal, while on other occasions it felt as though it had stopped for a few seconds, and then came back to life with a huge "boom" inside my chest.

It got worse and more frequent, until two years ago, when I became dizzy after my heart rhythm went out of sync.

39

B E AT I N G A R R H Y T H M I A

“IF YOU FIND YOUR HEARTBEAT IS IRREGULAR, GO AND SEE YOUR GP. IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE” After almost passing out at a friend’s wedding in July last year, I went back to my GP. I had gone before and been fitted with a heart monitor, but—of course—my heart never performed its irregular beat while I was wearing the equipment. However, in July my heart was beating so fast that I was sent urgently to A&E by taxi.

My GP had hastily put a sticker on my coat lapel saying, "ECG Urgent.

Arrhythmia." I felt like an ailing Paddington Bear.

The results of my ECG showed a fast, irregular heartbeat and I was diagnosed with atrial flutter, 40 • MARCH 2019

one of several different forms of arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat) which is very similar to atrial fibrillation. Both conditions occur in the upper chambers of the heart (the atria) above its ventricles. The fast heartbeat in the upper part results in atrial muscle contractions that are faster than, and out of sync with, the lower chambers (the ventricles). I also had an "ectopic beat", which is an extra, premature beat in the upper chambers which is usually followed by a pause before the heart starts again—this explained my somewhat terrifying "boom" feeling.

READER’S DIGEST

Arrhythmia can be triggered by caffeine, alcohol or stress and occasional irregular beats aren't normally a cause for concern. But if it becomes a regular occurrence, it could be the sign of something more serious such as heart disease, or a fault in the heart’s "electrical circuit" which can be corrected by surgery.

Figures released by the British Heart Foundation (BHF) have shown that the numbers of people being diagnosed with arrhythmia are at an all-time high. An additional 55,000 people were diagnosed with the commonest form of arrhythmia, atrial fibrillation (AF), in the year to October 2018 compared to the previous 12 months, taking the UK total to 1.3 million. The BHF say another 500,000 people are suffering from heart rhythm abnormalities that are so far undiagnosed. The NHS estimate that 2 million people now suffer from all forms of arrhythmia.

This number is in part growing as a result of our ageing population—arrhythmia is more common in the over forties—and to increasing awareness among health professionals, but also in part thanks to the exponential growth in coffee drinking in recent years.

Some experts also say that society's excessive use of energy drinks have seen arrhythmia being triggered in younger people, who use caffeinelaced beverages to stay awake for longer.

“EXCESSIVE USE OF ENERGY DRINKS HAVE TRIGGERED ARRHYTHMIA IN YOUNGER PEOPLE, WHO USE THEM TO STAY AWAKE FOR LONGER” The most worrying aspect of arrhythmia is that it puts the sufferer at a significantly increased risk of stroke. That's because it causes the blood flow to slow down and "pool" around the heart, leaving it more prone to clotting. The BHF say those who have arrhythmia are five times more likely to have a stroke than MARCH 2019 • 41

B E AT I N G A R R H Y T H M I A

“STROKES LINKED TO ARRHYTHMIA ARE MORE DISABLING THAN ANY OTHER FORM OF STROKE” non-sufferers. But that’s not the worst part—strokes that are linked to arrhythmia have been shown to be more disabling and debilitating than any other form of stroke.

Clot-busting drugs called anticoagulants are preventing substantial numbers of strokes every year, according to research from the University of Leeds which was 42 • MARCH 2019

part funded by the BHF. Professor Chris Gale, an honorary consultant cardiologist at the university said, “Sudden strokes in people who have AF are unnecessarily common.

Treatments which prevent AF-related strokes are saving lives, but there are still many thousands of people in the UK living with undiagnosed AF who are missing out.” The Leeds research team found that since 2009, the number of AF sufferers being treated with anti coagulants has more than doubled. Without this increase, there would have been 4,000 more strokes in patients with AF in England between 2015 and 2016.

AF contributes to around one quarter of all strokes. Stroke is the fourth biggest killer in the UK and a leading cause of disability. In 2016 it killed almost twice as many women as breast cancer. Anti-coagulants slow the formation of clots by thinning the blood, and can cut the risk of stroke by two thirds. The AF Association say that one in four people over 40 will develop AF, and estimate that 12,000 people suffer AFrelated strokes every year in the UK. Richard Elgar, 46, from Dorset was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation in 2014. He had previously suffered a heart attack aged 36, which doctors put down to narrowed arteries due to smoking heavily for 20 years. Richard had made a remarkable recovery, given up cigarettes completely and returned to training in the gym.

READER’S DIGEST

Richard Elgar with his family

“IT BEGAN WITH COFFEE. I'D JUST FINISHED A CUP WHEN I NOTICED A BUTTERFLY FEELING…” "It all began with a large cup of coffee," he recalled. "I'd just finished it when I noticed a butterfly feeling in my chest. I remember feeling very tired, and hot. It was like a cold sweat with a drum beating in my chest. I phoned 111 and they sent me straight to A&E, where they discovered my heart was beating between 170-200 beats a minute.

When I looked at the door it said 'resuscitation' so I knew the situation was serious."

Richard was kept in overnight, and his rhythm was "out" for 30 hours. A few weeks later, it came

back. He was kept in overnight once more, after which he was put on anti-coagulants to thin his blood to protect against stroke. "The doctors wanted to do the ablation procedure but the wall on the left side of my heart had hardened as a result of the heart attack, which makes ablation impossible. Instead I underwent cardioversion, which is when doctors literally stop the heart then start it again with paddles to get it back into a normal rhythm. It lasted six weeks then it went out again, and it's been spasmodic ever since. I barely notice it now, except when I exercise hard.

MARCH 2019 • 43

B E AT I N G A R R H Y T H M I A

“I'M ON ANTI-COAGULANTS FOR LIFE. IT'S NOT PLEASANT, BUT I'VE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH IT” I've become used to it. I'm on anticoagulants for life, but I'm relaxed about it as I'm unlikely to suffer a stroke. It's not a pleasant thing, but it's something I've learned to live with. And I still enjoy the occasional cup of coffee. I'm keen for people to know about heart arrhythmia and to get diagnosed, which is why I help the BHF to raise awareness." People similar to Richard, who have suffered heart attacks are at an increased risk of arrhythmia.

On prevention, Sir Nilesh Samani, 44 • MARCH 2019

the medical director at the BHF, said: “Spotting AF is surprisingly easy, all it takes is a simple pulse check. A normal heart beat will feel regular, but if you find yours is irregular or random, go and see your GP. It could save your life.”

A procedure known as catheter ablation is routinely used to correct arrhythmia. The patient will usually be put on anti-coagulants for several weeks beforehand to protect them against stroke both before and during surgery, which is performed

READER’S DIGEST

using local anaesthetic with sedation.

It involves going in through a vein in the groin, threading a catheter to go up into the heart, then removing the faulty electrical pathway within the heart’s electrical circuit that is causing the rhythm problems. The bad sections can either be frozen or killed using heat. Pace-makers can be used to correct abnormal heart rhythms, but ablation is by far the most common method. The success rate with ablation for atrial flutter is between 88-95 per cent, for atrial fibrillation it's around 75 per cent.

Patients over 50 sometimes need the procedure to be repeated, as malfunctioning pathways are harder to correct the older we get.

By the time you're reading this feature, I will hopefully have undergone the ablation procedure, and I'm looking forward to living without the constant worry of an episode of arrhythmia every time my heart beats a little bit too fast, I'm under stress, or I have one cup of coffee or a glass of wine too many.

Arrhythmia can be very frightening, even with anticoagulants to protect you against the risk of stroke.

If you notice your heart regularly beating too fast, or in a rhythm that feels different or unnatural, see your GP as soon as possible. Don’t delay it and suffer years of unnecessary risk and worry. n

RANDOM ACTS OF SELF-KINDNESS Reddit users offer their suggestions for a small act that can have a huge impact on your quality of life

@BumpUgly: "Forgive yourself for not starting yesterday" @JustJoshinAround: “If it takes less than a few minutes to do and you're doing absolutely nothing, DO IT" @Do_Your_Thing: “Call your loved ones. Especially those who have helped you through bad times” @ItsNotRobinson: "Give someone else a compliment at least once a day" @DarlingDeath: “Read a book for at least ten minutes before bed" @KushyOSRS: "Clean your house or room. It always gets me out of a rut" @ShakeyJ101: “Spend less time on social media and more time with real people" @Momogogi: "Go outside for ten minutes. Let the sun shine on your skin" Source: Reddit.com

MARCH 2019 • 45

Mane Attraction Winter can take its toll on our hair, but with spring just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to focus on our follicles Brush up on brushing Brush your hair often to loosen hairs that are near the end of their sevenyear life and encourage new ones to take their place. Always brush gently.

A wide-tooth comb will help untangle hair, while a brush with dense bristle—such as boar hair— helps spread natural oils along the hairs. Brush the last few inches first, then gradually move up, always brushing downwards.

Wash and go According to research from Head & Shoulders, the optimal frequency for hair washing is three days. And if you take care when you’re shampooing your hair, you’ll promote better hair growth and even arrest hair loss. Use warm, not hot, water and shampoo Susannah Hickling is twice winner of the Guild of Health Writers Best Consumer Magazine Health Feature 46 • MARCH 2019

from the nape, applying it to the hairline before washing the hair on top of your head. Massage your scalp three times to push nutrients into the hair bulb and unclog your follicles.

Always rinse thoroughly after shampooing and conditioning, and finish with a cold-water rinse. This will tighten pores in your scalp, firm up hair fibres, reduce limpness and increase sheen.

Home and dry Heat from hair dryers, straighteners and curling tongs can permanently damage your hair, leaving it frizzy and brittle. It may also affect your scalp and cause dandruff. Gently pat your locks with a towel after

HEALTH

washing—don’t wring or twist hair— and use a lower heat setting on your hair dryer.

Tied up Don’t tie your hair back tightly too often or for too long. And don’t sleep with any accessories in your hair. You can end up with tension damage and headaches. Ponytails that are too tight might even cause hair loss.

Shades of grey Grey hair quickly looks duller and dirtier than hair with colour, and it gets drier too. But if you use a lightblue shampoo, you’ll avoid that ageing yellow tinge.

Dye another day To keep your tresses healthy, allow at least four weeks between singleprocess colour treatments and at least eight weeks between low- or highlight treatments.

Doctor, doctor Dandruff is common, but if you’ve had a red, flaky, itchy scalp for a month and anti-dandruff shampoo hasn’t helped, it could be time to make an appointment with your GP. You might have a skin condition such as eczema, psoriasis or the adult equivalent of cradle cap.

Food for thought We’ve talked a lot about how to treat your hair from the outside, but your diet can also have a big impact on your crowning glory. To keep it strong and shiny, make sure you eat foods containing essential fatty acids, such as mackerel, salmon and walnuts, along with protein-rich Greek yogurt, spinach and kale, which are packed with vitamins A and C. Iron-fortified cereals guard against hair loss, chicken or turkey help hair stay thick, eggs promote growth and orange fruit and veg, such as sweet potato, mango and carrots keep your locks luscious.

MARCH 2019 • 47

H E A LT H

Think Drink Drinking enough fluids is crucial for good health.

But how much do you know about hydration?

We’re two-thirds water. Water helps regulate body temperature, lubricate joints, pass waste products and keep your skin healthy, to name but a few of its jobs. But it gets lost in sweat, urine and even breath, so we need to keep topping up our levels.

You don’t have to limit yourself to H2O. Water is calorie and cost-free, but drinking tea, coffee, fizzy drinks and milk will all help hydrate you too. The important thing is to have about eight glasses of fluid a day.

Bear in mind that fizzy drinks can be sugary and acidic, and can damage your teeth. And opt for low-fat milk.

Sorry, alcohol doesn’t help. A long, cold beer may slake your thirst, but all booze is a diuretic and will make you wee more. This can actually contribute to dehydration.

Bottled isn’t better. Good old tap water is just as good from a nutritional point of view.

48 • MARCH 2019

Older people need to remember to drink. You sometimes have a weaker sense of thirst as you age, so try to have a regular drink routine.

Some meds make you dehydrated.

Diuretics used to treat conditions such as high blood pressure and glaucoma, and long-term use of laxatives can reduce the fluids in your body. Remember to drink plenty if you take these.

Monitoring your pee will help you stay hydrated. A good way of knowing whether you’re dehydrated is the number of times you go to the loo and the colour of your urine. It should be pale yellow. If it’s dark or you’re going less often or not producing very much, you need to glug more drinks.

You can eat your drink. It’s not just the liquid stuff that hydrates you.

Water-rich foods like cucumber, lettuce and melon are effective too.

READER’S DIGEST

Ask The Expert: Menopause Maryon Stewart

Maryon Stewart is an author, broadcaster and pioneer of the natural menopause movement How did you become a menopause expert? I was running the Women’s Nutritional Advisory Service advising on pre-menstrual syndrome, when I started seeing more studies on nondrug approaches to menopause.

These led me to develop a researchbased programme to coach women through the change without drugs.

What are the worst aspects of the menopause? Some women get hot flushes, night sweats, aches and pains, vaginal dryness and just feel 90 before their time. Others get panic attacks, palpitations and terrible anxiety. They feel they’re not in control anymore, get depressed and have mood swings. Some women get all these symptoms.

How does it affect women in other ways? In one of our surveys, 84 per cent of women said the menopause affected their productivity at work. In another they said it was tricky having conversations with their partner

about vaginal dryness or painful sex.

It affects relationships and self-esteem.

What tips can you offer to help women through this phase of life?

The first thing is to get back into good nutritional shape. Learn how to consume naturally occurring oestrogen in the form of soya, flaxseeds and red clover to fool the brain into thinking you have normal circulating oestrogen. Do about five sessions of moderate exercise a week to make sure you don’t put weight on, oxygenate the brain and release endorphins to help prevent depression.

What are the positives in menopause? You haven’t got any periods—that’s something to celebrate. If you can spend more time with your partner and you’re feeling energetic and sexy, that’s lovely! n Visit maryonstewart.com for more details MARCH 2019 • 49

HEALTH

Close To Home

An encounter with one of Britain’s 320,000 homeless people offers Max Pemberton an unexpected insight into his motivations…

I

’m sitting in McDonald’s. Not out of choice, I assure you. I’ve been sitting here for over an hour and despite my strenuous efforts, have already given in and eaten fries and a McFlurry. And now the vanilla milkshakes are looking very tempting.

I decide I’m going to have to exercise some self-restraint if I am to remain this side of coronary heart disease by the end of my current job. Six months working with homeless people in the grottiest part of town is seeing me in some unusual places trying to track down the people who have been referred to me. Cities are filled with hidden places; nooks and crannies that lend themselves to make-shift homes for the homeless. I have one patient with TB who makes his home on a round-about, so I’m required to dart through traffic, stethoscope in Max is a hospital doctor, author and columnist. He currently works full time in mental health for the NHS. His latest book is a self-help guide to using CBT to stop smoking

50 • MARCH 2019

hand, once a week. You can’t be picky about where you meet your patients, and if they agree to a meeting, it’s on their terms, hence why I’m in McDonald’s. This is where Danny wanted to meet, and so this is where I’m waiting. And waiting. I’m beginning to suspect that this is going to be what the rest of the team call a “no-show”: a self-explanatory term for a very frustrating situation. Do I sit there and sample the entire 99 pence menu, in the hope that at some point he might decide to turn up? Or do I admit defeat and return to the office?

I had romantic ideas about this job before I started. I imagined myself roaming the streets, helping the helpless. I suppose if I’m honest, for most doctors a certain satisfaction is derived from their patient’s praise. So it’s not easy to suddenly be faced with a group of people that need helping more than most, only for them to be utterly disinterested at best, and abusive at worst. At first, I was indignant that anyone would not turn up to an appointment. But sitting in

McDonald’s day in and day out, waiting for people that may or may not turn up, I’ve had to analyse my own motivations, and I’ve come to the stark realisation that the real problem isn’t with them, it’s with me.

While I hate to admit it, deep down there was a sense of the Victorian “deserving poor” when I imagined working with homeless people.

I imagined that I would be dealing with people down on their luck, who wanted to be helped. But this isn’t necessarily the case. I represent to them the authority figures that they want to leave behind. I embody the society that, for a myriad of reasons, they want to disengage from. They haven’t asked me to be here, they haven’t asked for help, so why should they agree when I try to get them to meet me? It’s true that I’m worried about their health; it’s true that I think

they should take medication, or stop using drugs or alcohol. But I’ve realised that deep down, part of my enjoyment of being a doctor was being liked by my patients and having them thank me—this can be a selfish and self-indulgent pleasure. It’s down to me to change the way that I feel rewarded and the way I get job satisfaction, rather than trying to change them. I’m about to leave, when Danny walks up to me.

“You waited then?” he says by way of an introduction.

“Someone at the hostel was worried about you,” I reply.

“Alright,” he says, then pauses. “I’m gonna get something to eat.” I stand up to order him some food. “It’s alright”, he says indignantly and pulls out a five pound note. “What you having? My treat,” he smiles, and I order a vanilla milkshake.

MARCH 2019 • 51

HEALTH

The Doctor Is In Q: Eight years ago I developed a sore throat that often dries up, and have had it ever since. I’ve tried antibiotics, anti-fungals and throat sprays. I’ve seen several GPs and specialists, consulted with pharmacists and undergone several examinations, but all of this came up with zilch. The condition doesn’t depress me but is a regular annoyance. Any help would be most gratefully received. Richard, 71 A: My goodness, this sounds awful.

Having a sore throat for a week is bad enough, but eight years must be very difficult. In cases of a sore throat lasting more than three weeks, the advice is to see a doctor as this can be an indication of something serious, such as cancer. This, though, is clearly in a different category. Chronic sore throats, lasting months or years, can sometimes be down to resistant infections, and I wonder if the throat has been swabbed to see if there’s a chronic, lowgrade infection? If it was a resistant strain it could 52 • MARCH 2019

explain why antibiotics didn’t work. I also wonder if you’ve had allergy testing, which can be investigated by blood and skin tests. The other thing that occurs to me is your saliva flow.

You mention that your throat dries up and I wondered if the soreness was being caused by a lack of saliva—a condition called xerostomia. While this can be caused by medications, it can also be down to a number of conditions or old age. Saliva flow can be tested in the ENT department.

Even if there isn’t a magical cure, for your peace of mind it’s important to get to the bottom of this. To this end, you might ask to be referred to the Royal National Throat Nose and Ear Hospital in London. This is one of the leading centres in the world and if there’s an answer, I’m confident someone there will know it. You can ask your GP to refer you to the centre on the NHS. n Got a health question for our resident doctor? Email it confidentially to askdrmax@ readersdigest.co.uk

I LLUSTRATI ON BY JAVI ER MUÑOZ

Dr Max Pemberton

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HEALTH

Memorable Feelings Engaging your emotions can work wonders for your recall, as our memory expert Jonathan Hancock explains

Emotion plays a complex and powerful role in memory. While traumatic experiences can be extremely difficult to remember—even leading to forms of amnesia—more often it’s the really emotional moments in our lives that are the easiest ones to recall. Happiness, shock, embarrassment, delight… both positive and negative emotions seem to energise the encoding process that stores experiences for the long-term —part of our brain’s way of selecting particularly useful information. These are also the memories that are most likely to be “rehearsed”, as we keep thinking and talking about them over the days and years that follow, giving them even more reason to stay vibrant and fresh.

Expert learners often use their emotions very consciously to boost their recall. Even mundane, uninteresting, unmemorable information can be given an emotional “tag” that tells your brain it’s worth holding onto. n TAKEAWAY TIP: From now on, whenever you need to remember to do something later, “tag” it with an exaggerated emotion. Imagine feeling overjoyed to phone your friend, being terrified at the bank, or embarrassed in the dry-cleaner’s… and you’ll start remembering so much more of your to-do list (which should be a very nice feeling in itself!)

Follow @ReadersDigestUK on Twitter and Facebook for a memory exercise from me every day!

54 • MARCH 2019

TRY THIS EXPERIMENT Create a mental picture of each item in List A below (always a good first step to learning) but also add an emotional reaction of some kind. Maybe you imagine being delighted to find the expensive pen you thought you’d lost, or embarrassed when you spill all the soup from your spoon. Then cover List A, and use your emotional memories to help you recognise the object in List B which wasn’t in the first set of ten.

List A: pen, spoon, coin, matchstick, ribbon, flower, tin, needle, book, cork List B: ribbon, needle, flower, cork, pen, book, spoon, stone, matchstick, coin Next, try learning the 12 animal signs of the Chinese zodiac: Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat, monkey, rooster, dog, pig Picture these animals sitting in the room you’re in right now.

But once again add some powerful emotions into the mix.

The rat in the doorway might fill you with disgust, but the ox snoring in the armchair could be quite funny—unlike the terrifying tiger prowling across the table! As you practise, visualise the images but focus on the emotions, helping you to build rich, lasting memories.

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HEALTH

The Parents Saying No To

“Keeping Mum”

Many parents fear passing mental illness on to their children. But being open about mental health could actually improve your parenting…

BY FIO NA TH O M AS

57

S AY I N G N O T O ‘ K E E P I N G M U M ’

“THAT WAS THE MAIN DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND MY DAD” says

Jon, a 41-year-old business-owner from London, “I had access to talking therapy and he didn’t.”

As a teenage boy in the early Nineties, Jon watched in frustration as his dad lay on the sofa watching TV day after day. His father had once run his own company but after the recession hit he had no choice but to close the business, something which would lead to his subsequent depression. The family didn’t know how to talk about the problem and silently hoped that things would improve on their own, but after multiple attempts, he unfortunately took his own life in 1995. Jon was just 17 years old at the time.

Only a few years later, Jon had a psychotic episode of his own. He was diagnosed with depression and eventually attempted suicide, but just as history threatened to repeat itself Jon checked into The Priory where he received therapy which ultimately saved him.

Jon has now made it his mission to break the cycle and talk openly about mental illness to his friends, in the workplace and also to his two children. He started putting photographs of his late father in prominent places around his home— in stark contrast to his direct family who has always avoided talking about suicide—in the hope that one day, his children will want to 58 • MARCH 2019

Jon running the 2017 London Marathon for the mental health charity Heads Together

know more about the man in the photographs. “When I was growing up, the vocabulary that I had to express my emotions was very limited. I didn’t have the language” says Jon. Now he encourages his young children to watch TV shows and read books which subtly educate them on topics around negative emotions, something that he hopes will make them healthier in the long run.

Jon is a prime example of how having a mental illness can inform better parenting, but many adults with mental health concerns are genuinely scared of passing on their

READER’S DIGEST

“When I was growing up, the vocabulary I had to express my emotions was very limited. I didn’t have the language” condition to future generations.

Studies reveal that the link between mental illness and genetics isn’t that clear-cut. Research by King’s College London shows that mental health disorders should no longer be discussed in relation to a single gene (in the way that some physical conditions are) but instead a collection of genes.

Psychotherapist Paula Coles

explains that the complicated nature of genetics combined with the different environmental variables at play, means that there’s almost no way to predict whether a parent with mental illness will pass it onto their offspring. She did, however, express that in many cases, individuals who have been diagnosed with a mental illness boast skills which are beneficial when it comes to everyday financial worries, work stress and other common family matters. So much so that those affected are sometimes better equipped than those who have never had access to mental health services.

“When you bring all that stress together to a family [with a potentially hereditary mental illness]

Jon discussing mental health with Prince William

MARCH 2019 • 59

S AY I N G N O T O ‘ K E E P I N G M U M ’

Amy Holland and her sons, Fin and Roo

“I needed help with retaining ‘me’ and still having a life and not feeling guilty about that” but that parent also has lots of support and resources, it’s an even better environment than someone in a stressful environment without the mental illness genes.”

According to Paula, it comes down to heightened emotional awareness and the practical implementation of self-care activities, something which recovered sufferers tend to take more 60 • MARCH 2019

seriously. When someone manages to build up a good resilience tool-kit, Paula claims that this will “absolutely make them a better parent”, effectively securing an investment in themselves which will have a knock-on effect for the family unit.

For Jon, it’s the simple things like going to a café and enjoying a coffee, getting some exercise or watching his favourite band play, but it extends deeper than just scheduling in alone time. For performance coach and mother of three Louise Cartwright

“If my boys are sad, I want to talk about it, and that’s a direct result of learning about my own mental illness” it’s about reclaiming her identity, something that new mothers especially struggle to cope with.

“What I needed help with was not so much how to mother, but how to retain ‘me’ and still have a life, and not feel guilty about that”, she explains.

MOTHER OF TWO, AMY HOLLAND

found meaning in doing something for herself too. She experienced postnatal

depression with both of her children and as a result, decided to start her own business to give herself flexibility and self-fulfilment as a single parent.

It all started with a card from a friend which came printed with a positive affirmation on the front.

It read, “you are braver than you think.” Amy says, “I looked at it every day, recited it out loud and that had a huge impact on my mental wellbeing. Eventually I collected and created more positive affirmations and set up a business selling my own cards (icancards.co.uk, pictured below) specifically for people who have a mental illness.”

Amy’s journey has clearly shaped her parenting style, one which she hopes is an improvement

MARCH 2019 • 61

S AY I N G N O T O ‘ K E E P I N G M U M ’

Performance coach Louise Cartwright with two of her children

“I fear that it’s especially hard for boys to show how they feel, and I’m determined to make them comfortable with their emotions” on her own upbringing. She has no recollection of ever talking about emotions as a child and this has made her adamant that nothing will be brushed under the carpet in her own family. “If the boys are sad then I want to talk about it and that’s a direct result of learning about my own mental illness.”

Whilst creating her own self-care routine Amy has made a conscious decision to find tools that work for her kids too. These include getting them to use a worry jar, keep a journal, discuss affirmations, read 62 • MARCH 2019

books that discuss emotions and get creative by drawing emojis of sad faces.

She makes a point of telling them that it’s OK to feel negative emotions like anger, sadness and worry because she feels that young boys are particularly vulnerable to societal ideals. “I fear that it’s especially hard for them to show how they feel and I’m determined to make them self-aware and comfortable with their emotions.”

This deliberate decision to dig deep emotionally is a powerful tool

READER’S DIGEST

“Adults constantly shut down their child’s right to have a bad day.

They’re constantly told to cheer up or smile and this isn’t healthy” that all parents could benefit from implementing at home. In fact, Paula reveals that a common issue she sees in teenagers today comes from their parents’ inability to talk about complex emotions or even identify them in the first place.

“Adults constantly shut down their child’s right to have a bad day” says Paula. “They are told to cheer up or smile, and this isn’t healthy. Having the ability to not close off these emotions is helpful.”

No one is perfect, but a parent with experience of overcoming hurdles

in the past is almost guaranteed to be successful if they draw on the skills they’ve developed to cope with mental illness. Whether it’s setting aside time for reflection, prioritising hobbies or just knowing that factors such as sleep and exercise can vastly affect one’s mood, parents with mental illness should draw on their personal experience to guide their children through life. This, and the capacity to let difficult conversations occur is something Louise has become particularly accustomed to, after battling with postnatal depression and anxiety as an adult.

She says that ultimately, parents shouldn’t worry about solving all their child’s problems but instead focus on talking it through with honesty and empathy.

“I’m inviting my children into conversations where they work out their own answers rather than me telling them what I think is right, and I have faith I’m doing the right thing.” n

SURPRISINGLY SATISFYING Reddit users reveal their oddly specific little pleasures:

“The sound of a dishwasher running in a dark, clean kitchen.”

“Watching a freshly poured pint of Guinness settle.”

“Freshly shaven legs on clean sheets. It’s the best feeling” “Coming home after a long day, taking off my socks and standing on a shag rug; wiggling my toes so they really get in there.”

“Standing outside in the evening while a fresh layer of snow coats everything. Absolute silence and tranquility.”

MARCH 2019 • 63

[[1L]]

HEALTH

In our overstimulated daily lives, we often turn off the noise, but we risk tuning out the world

The Wisdom of Hearing P HOTO: © SHUTTERSTOCK

BY JO H N KO RD LAGEM ANN

O

UR WORLD IS FILLED with sounds we never hear. The human auditory range is limited to begin with: If we could hear sounds lower than 20 vibrations per second, we would be driven mad by the rumblings and creakings of our muscles, intestines, and heartbeats; every step we took would sound like an explosion. But even within our auditory range, we select, focus on, and pay attention to only a few sounds—and blot out the rest.

WISDOM OF HEARING

We are so assaulted by sound that we continually “turn off.” But in the process, we shut out the glorious symphony of sound in which the living world is bathed.

Everything becomes more real when it’s heard as well as seen. It is, in fact, quite hard to really know a person by sight alone, without hearing their voice. And it’s not just the sound of the voice that informs.

Even the rhythm of footsteps reveals age and variations of mood— elation, depression, anger, joy. The sound-tormented city dweller who habitually turns off their audio loses a dimension of social reality. Some people, for example, possess the ability to enter a crowded room and from the sounds encountered know immediately the mood, pace, and direction of the group assembled.

Everything that moves makes a sound, so all sounds are witnesses to events. If touch is the most personal

IF TOUCH IS THE MOST PERSONAL OF SENSES, THEN HEARING IS THE MOST SOCIAL OF THE SENSES.

66 • MARCH 2019

of senses, then hearing—which is a sort of touching at a distance—is the most social of the senses.

It is also the watchdog sense.

Sounds warn us of happenings. Even as we sleep, the brain is alerted by certain key sounds. A mother wakes at the whimper of her baby. The average person is quickly roused by the sound of his own name.

Watchdog, stimulator, arouser—it’s not surprising that modern urban man has turned down this most stressful of senses. But hearing can also soothe and comfort. The snapping of logs in the fireplace, the gossipy whisper of a broom, the inquisitive wheeze of a drawer opening—all are comforting sounds.

In a well-loved home, every chair produces a recognisable creak, every window a click, groan, or squeak. The kitchen by itself is a source of many pleasing sounds—the clop-clop of batter stirred in a crockery bowl, the chortle of simmering soup.

Most people would be surprised to discover how much the sense of hearing can be cultivated. At a friend’s house recently, my wife opened her purse and some US coins spilled out onto the bare floor. “Three quarters, two dimes, a nickel, and three pennies,” said our host. And, as an afterthought: “One of the quarters is silver.” He was right, to the last penny.

“How did you do it?” we asked.

“Try it yourself,” he said. We did, and with a practice, we found it easy.

READER’S DIGEST

On the way home, we took turns closing our eyes and listening to the sounds of our taxi on the wet street as they bounced off of cars parked along the curb. From that alone we were able to tell small European cars from larger American cars. Games like this are one of the best ways to open up new realms of hearing experience.

ANOTHER BENEFIT of honing your hearing is that extra­sensory faculty that blind people call facial vision.

More than 200 years ago, Erasmus Darwin, grandfather of Charles, reported a visit by a blind friend named Justice Fielding. “He walked into my room for the first time and, after speaking a few words, said, ‘This room is about 22 feet long, 18 wide, and 12 high’—all of which he guessed by the ear with great accuracy.”

Sound engineers call it ambience: the impression we all get in some degree from sound waves bouncing off walls, trees, even people. For a blind person to interpret the echoes effectively, they use a tapping cane, preferably with a tip of metal, nylon, or other substance that produces a distinct, consistent sound. (Wood doesn’t work, because it creates a different sound wet than dry.) The metal noisemaker called a cricket is equally effective. Animals, both terrestrial and non­terrestrial, also use “echolocation.” The bat, for example, emits a very high-pitched sound and picks up echoes from any obstacle, even as thin as a human hair.

The human ear is an amazing mechanism. Though its inner operating parts occupy less than a cubic inch, it can distinguish from MARCH 2019 • 67

WISDOM OF HEARING

300,000 to 400,000 variations of tone and intensity. The loudest sound it can tolerate is a trillion times more intense than the faintest sounds it can pick up—the dropping of the proverbial pin (or, if you prefer, the soft thud of falling snowflakes). When the eardrums vibrate in response to sound, the tiny piston-like stirrup bones of the middle ear amplify the vibrations. This motion is passed along to the snail-like chamber of the inner ear, which is filled with liquid and contains some 30,000 tiny

hair cells. These fibres are made to bend, depending on the frequency of the vibration—­shorter strands respond to higher wavelengths, longer strands to lower—and this movement is translated into nerve impulses and sent to the brain, which then, somehow, “hears.”

WHILE WE’RE still under 20, most of us can hear tones as high as 20,000 cycles per second (CPS), about five times as high as the highest C on a piano. With age, the inner ear loses

IT’S HARD TO LISTEN WHEN YOU CAN’T HEAR

WHAT WAS THAT? If you frequently miss what people are saying or find yourself turning up the TV volume, you could have some hearing loss.

Many health conditions, including heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes, can slow blood flow to the ears and impair hearing. Treating those conditions can be harmful too. More than 200 prescription or over-the-counter medications can damage the ear. Ask your doctor if your meds can harm your hearing.

And it’s not just older folks who need to be careful. More teens have noise-­induced hearing loss today than ten years ago, thanks to loud music played on headphones.

“The smartest thing we can do to protect our ears is to avoid exposure to loud noise,” explains audiologist Laurie DeWine. “Listening to loud music or using a lawn mower can damage your ears over time.”

A free app such as SoundCheck or Decibel Meter can turn your smartphone into a sound meter that shows when you’re in the danger zone. “You may be surprised at how much you’re exposed to,” says DeWine. Wear earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones during noisy tasks such as using a hoover and keep the volume on low when watching TV or listening to music.

68 • MARCH 2019

READER’S DIGEST

elasticity. It is unusual for over 50s to hear well above 12,000 CPS. They can still function, of course, since most conversation is carried on within an octave or two of middle C, or about 260 CPS. Just cutting down reflected sound can produce odd results.

The nearest thing on Earth to the silence of outer space is the “anechoic chamber” at the Nokia Bell Labs in New Jersey, which is lined with material that absorbs 99.98 per cent of all reflected sound. People who have remained in the room for more than an hour felt jittery and out of touch with reality.

One remarkable quality of the human ear is its ability to pick out a specific sound or voice from a surrounding welter of sound, and to locate its position. Conductor Arturo Toscanini, in a symphony orchestra of almost 100 musicians, unerringly singled out the oboist who slurred a phrase. “I hear a mute somewhere on one of the second violins,” he said another time. Sure enough, a second violinist far back on the stage discovered that he had failed to re­move his mute.

The sound you hear most often is the sound of your own voice.

You hear it not only through air vibrations that strike your eardrums but also through bone conduction, vibrations transmitted directly to the

inner ear through your skull. When you chew on a stalk of celery, the loud crunching noise comes mainly through bone conduction. This explains why we hardly recognise a recording of our speech. Many of the low-frequency tones that seem to give our voices resonance and power are conducted to our ears through the skull; in a recording, they’re missing, so our voices seem thin and weak.

Alas, it’s possible hearing will atrophy even further in the future, as civilisation becomes busier. When too much is going on, we learn to ignore the sound around us and with it, much that could give us pleasure and information. That’s too bad—because there’s a wisdom in hearing. n MARCH 2019 • 69

INSPIRE

I S B R I TA I N O N T H E R OA D TO L EG A L I S I N G C A N N A B I S ?

PLANTING THE SEED OF A NEW LEGAL HIGH

BY DANIE LLE S IM O NE BRAND

More and more countries are legalising, or relaxing their rules around, cannabis consumption for both medical and recreational purposes. But how close is the UK to following suit?

T

he recent move by Home Secretary Sajid Javid to allow specialist doctors to prescribe medical cannabis has many wondering if Britain is already on the road to full legalisation.

Some 31 per cent of the UK strongly opposes this possibility.

However, a larger portion—59 per cent as of October 2018—appears to be moving towards acceptance of recreational cannabis*.

Whether policymakers will follow popular opinion on this issue

remains to be seen, but the UK can look to another part of the world to understand some of the effects of the liberalisation of cannabis policy.

California’s medical market dates back to 1996, at which time millions of patients were able to obtain prescriptions for pain relief, appetite stimulation, epilepsy treatment, as well as muscle and motor issues.

Recreational legalisation in California took effect on January 1, 2018 and the state now represents the largest recreational cannabis *volteface.me/key-findings-voltefaces-cannabis-poll

ILLUSTRATION: DANNY A LLISON

PLANTING THE SEED

market in the world. Investment capital is flooding the nascent forprofit industry in what some are calling a “green rush.” Today, any California resident or visitor can walk into one of about 350 retail shops, show ID, and access hundreds of cannabis products spanning edibles, vaping extracts, tinctures, concentrates, and dozens of strains of smokable cannabis flower. Millions of Americans use recreational cannabis to relax after work and at the weekend, to stimulate creativity and increase sociability, or to promote restful sleep.

A little over a year later, it’s too early to gauge the full effects of California’s recreational cannabis

72 • MARCH 2019

industry. However, certain trends are emerging. According to BDS Analytics, 29 per cent of Californian adults (21+) have used cannabis in the last six months (up from 23 per cent in 2014), and decreasing numbers are opposed to its use.

Reliable data isn’t yet available on underage consumption in California, but a nationwide meta-analysis

by New York’s Health Department on the subject concluded that, overall, legal liberalisation does not significantly affect underage use.

Though recent research suggests that cannabis does not have significant long-term effects on cognition and memory for developing brains, other problems

READER’S DIGEST

TWENTY NINE PER CENT OF CALIFORNIAN ADULTS HAVE USED CANNABIS IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS, AND DECREASING NUMBERS ARE OPPOSED TO ITS USE

for youth who use regularly—like the increased likelihood of mental health problems and dependence—remain.

AMONG ADULTS, IT'S CLEAR THAT ATTITUDES in California

are changing quickly. Says Arlene Guzman, a 34-year-old public relations professional in Los Angeles, “Never in a million years did I imagine myself discussing cannabis in a 'Mummy and Me' group.” But since legalisation, it’s come up many times. “I think when people see someone like me—a mum, university lecturer, member of my church and thriving professional—as a cannabis consumer, the negative stigmas begin to break down.”

State regulation leads to better testing and standards, which helps assure consumers that they know what’s in the products they’re buying. Though the system remains imperfect, the cannabis industry is nonetheless one of the most regulated in the US today.

Advocates have also pointed to a decrease in drug-related violent crime, increased state tax revenues, and better allocation of law enforcement resources to target the trafficking of more harmful drugs, as evidence that legalisation is a social good.

Though the first year of tax revenue from cannabis sales in MARCH 2019 • 73

PLANTING THE SEED

PEOPLE WHO USE CANNABIS FOR PAIN RELIEF ARE BEING TURNED AWAY BY THEIR GPS BECAUSE THE RULES HAVE BEEN DRAWN SO TIGHTLY California has not met expectations due to a “bumpy rollout” of the new regulations, it is nonetheless a multi-billion-dollar industry that will add to state coffers and is forecast to continue growing. Additionally, decriminalisation measures and the expungement of non-violent cannabis-related records have helped countless individuals and reduced the burden on the criminal justice system.

74 • MARCH 2019

WHILE MANY SEE THE POSITIVES OF

cannabis legalisation, others perceive more risk than reward arising from the new industry. For instance, many people would like to see an evidence-based test to determine driving impairment that would serve as an equivalent to alcohol’s breathalyser. The science of such a device is tricky, but biotech firms are working on it.

Lieutenant Brian Nevins of

READER’S DIGEST

CALLS TO POISON CONTROL CENTRES DUE TO CHILDREN ACCIDENTALLY INGESTING CANNABIS EDIBLES ARE ON THE RISE AND ADULTS CAN SUFFER HEALTH CONSEQUENCES TOO

San Diego’s Sheriff Department explains that law enforcement is concerned by the elevated levels of THC (tetrahydrocannabinol, the component of cannabis responsible for the “high”) present in many of the products available in retail dispensaries today. Concentrated THC can have a different effect on the user than the “mellow high” often associated with cannabis, and officers are witnessing more unpredictable behaviour caused by concentrated THC consumption.

He also noted that, “if you laid them next to one another, you couldn’t tell the difference between a Swedish Fish (an American sweet) and a marijuana gummy,” which poses problems to users and non-users.

Though high levels of cannabis consumption are not known to be fatal, calls to poison control

centres due to children accidentally ingesting cannabis edibles are on the rise, and adults can suffer health consequences as well. As for the overall effect of legal cannabis, it’s too early to know. “We’re still in the petri dish stage,” Lt Nevins noted.

Dr Brian Couey, a psychologist with the Hazelden Betty Ford treatment centre in California, echoed some of Lt Nevins’ concerns about newer, more potent cannabis products. While most people who use cannabis can do so responsibly, he said, “a certain subset of the population will develop dependency.” The mental health issues most frequently associated with cannabis dependency are mood instability and panic attacks.

Psychosis, said Dr Couey, is a rarer, but worrisome, potential problem. Dr Couey has observed a slight increase in the number of patients seeking help for cannabis use disorder since recreational legalisation took effect in California.

ACCESS IN THE UK DIFFERS ENORMOUSLY from California, and

any shifts in policy are likely to be incremental. Says Norman Lamb, MP for North Norfolk, “the government’s reform is a welcome, but small, first step. It will only help a minuscule number of people…

Across the country, people who use cannabis for pain relief are being turned away by their GPs because MARCH 2019 • 75

PLANTING THE SEED

the rules have been drawn so tightly about who can benefit.”

Dr Mike Barnes, a neurologist and rehabilitation physician who has advised Parliament on drug reform, says that securing reliable access for the patients who can most benefit from medical cannabis is key. “It’s going to be a slow business,” he said, “but changing the law from November 1 was a start.”

According to Dr Barnes, facilitating doctor education is another vital step in successfully implementing medical legalisation. To address the issue, he founded The Academy of Medical Cannabis, with the UK playing host to its first learning centre.

MANY OF THE DIREST FEARS

associated with cannabis legalisation in California and other states have not been realised. Many experts now agree that cannabis is not a gateway drug. Moreover, it is responsible for far fewer hospital admissions than alcohol (27,000 people a year are admitted to hospital for cannabisrelated complaints in the UK, while alcohol-related hospital admissions reached 1.1 million in 2017*), and studies show that, at least in the US, cannabis users are on average employed at higher rates and earn more money than non-users.

However, Dr Jonathan Caulkins, public policy professor at Carnegie

*digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/statistics-on-alcohol/2018/part-1 76 • MARCH 2019

READER’S DIGEST

MANY OF THE DIRECT FEARS ASSOCIATED WITH CANNABIS LEGALISATION IN CALIFORNIA HAVE NOT BEEN REALISED

Mellon University and author of the book, Marijuana Legalisation: What Everyone Needs to Know, explains, “we won’t see the full effects until 25 years after national legalisation.”

Dr Caulkins noted that, should the UK choose to legalise adult-use cannabis in the future, policymakers might do well to examine the way the market is structured. In other words, consider who’s allowed to produce, market, and sell it. The forprofit model, which characterises the recreational market in California, differs significantly from the government-supplied, non-profit, or cannabis club models.

“The fundamental objective of for-profit industry is to pump up profits and sales, and since the smaller number of daily and near daily users account for 80 per cent of consumption, that means the industry has a strong profit interest in promoting heavy use.” From a public health perspective, that’s risky, and Dr Caulkins suggests that the UK might do well to choose a different model.

IT'S CLEAR THAT DEMAND FOR

cannabis exists. Luciana Lasorella, an artist and medical/recreational user living in San Francisco explained that, years ago, she understood that cannabis prohibition, just like alcohol prohibition, would end eventually.

“Weed wasn’t going away,” she said, “and people were willing to spend money on it. The government was going to sniff that out, find a way to regulate it, control it in a way that was more beneficial to them. I didn’t see any reason why they wouldn’t.” It’s possible that the UK will one day face a similar situation. n

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MARCH 2019 • 77

BEST OF

British

ARTISTS' Residences

Get up close and personal with the inspiring places Britain's most vibrant artists called home

BY ANNA WALKER

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INSPIRE

Charleston House

A NDREW HASSON / A LAM Y STOCK PHOTO

SUSSEX

The notorious Bloomsbury Set found fame in the first half of the 20th century for their experimental writing, art and attitude towards free (and sometimes somewhat incestuous) love.

As the writer Dorothy Parker famously quipped, “Bloomsbury paints in circles, lives in squares and loves in triangles.”

Charleston House was the meeting place for the group as well as the home of artists Vanessa Bell (sister of the modernist writer Virginia Woolf ) and Duncan Grant, and many of the famous group’s portraits still hang proudly on its stately walls.

Bell and Grant painted everything they could reach in Charleston—canvases, chairs, walls, tables—with such vigour that the house takes on something of a living, breathing air. It’s not difficult to still feel the spirit of this lively, liberated set as you move between the rooms today.

Charleston.org.uk

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The Mackintosh House GLASGOW

Housed in the Hunterian—Scotland’s oldest museum—the spectacular Mackintosh House is located on the site of the former home of legendary architect Charles Rennie Mackintosh and his wife, artist Margaret Macdonald Mackintosh.

Featuring immaculately reconstructed interiors of the couple’s home, Glasgow’s Hunterian Museum offers a rare insight into their private lives, through their distinct, iconic aesthetic.

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Furnished with the couple’s own furniture, everything has been considered in order to recreate the original interior as faithfully as possible—even the lighting design reflects that of the home once owned by Mackintosh.

Our favourite detail is the intricate beaten lead vanity mirror, hung in the front hallway. gla.co.uk/hunterian/collections/ permanentdisplays/ themackintoshhouse

READER’S DIGEST

Red House LONDON

BILDARCHIV M ONHEIM GM BH / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO

“If you want a golden rule that will fit everything, this is it: Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”

Before Marie Kondo took Netflix by storm, there was William Morris, and nothing better exemplifies the commitment of this creative genius of interiors to beauty than his striking home in London's Bexleyheath.

From intricate mosaics on the doors, to the groomed gardens and signature sumptuous prints, the Red House is a palace for fans of

the Arts and Crafts Movement. Morris designed and created almost everything inside as well as the property itself, in collaboration with architect Phillip Webb. The pair were deeply influenced by medieval styles and the neo-gothic movement.

The design of the building reveals a great deal about Morris’s personal and political sensibilities—the servant’s quarters, for example, are far larger than those of most contemporary properties, hinting at the beginnings of his socialist sensibilities. nationaltrust.org.uk/red-house

BEST OF BRITISH

Gainsborough’s House SUFFOLK

The famed portrait and landscape painter Thomas Gainsborough—the ninth child and fifth son in his family—was born into this 16th century home in 1727.

As well as being the home of his youth, where his artistic seeds were first sown, Sudbury also acted as a refuge for Gainsborough, who moved back into the family house after the death of his father and controversial marriage to the illegitimate Margaret Burr. He made a small living in Sudbury selling his landscapes, which were heavily inspired by the Suffolk landscape, before moving on 82 • MARCH 2019 74

to bigger cities, where he would build his international reputation.

The house exhibits a surprisingly large number of Gainsborough’s work—as well as pieces by other notable artists of the day, such as John Constable—including artworks that span his entire career, from early portraits painted in Suffolk through to later works from his Bath and London periods. gainsborough.org

READER’S DIGEST

Sandycombe Lodge TWICKENHAM

There’s something uniquely fascinating about finding yourself in the midst of a landscape where one of history’s most iconic landscapers chose to hang his hat.

Twickenham was the chosen settlement for JMW Turner, close to the steady flow of the river Thames.

A trip to the neat, brick home of Sandycombe Lodge—which was extensively restored in the summer

of 2017—is a trip into Turner’s mind, and the architecture of this beautiful quirky building mirrors the style of his own designs.

Frequently hosting exhibitions of works both by Turner and the artists who influenced him as well as regular bite-sized lectures on the artist’s work, this is a great place to learn more about the Romantic painter and his legacy. turnershouse.org MARCH 2019 • 83

BEST OF BRITISH

Barbara Hepworth Museum and Sculpture Garden Though she hailed from Yorkshire, British sculptor Barbara Hepworth moved to Cornwall after the outbreak of the Second World War and stayed there for the rest of her life. She claimed that there was a quality of inspiration to be drawn from the Cornish skyline and seascape—which reminded her of the Mediterranean—that she simply couldn’t glean from the city.

Now managed by the Tate St Ives, it was Hepworth’s wish that her home be turned into a museum of her work, and most of the bronzes 76 • MARCH 2019 84

are still in the position that the artist herself first placed them.

Hepworth described the home she shared with her family with great joy: "Finding Trewyn Studio was sort of magic. Here was a studio, a yard, and garden where I could work in open air and space." Visitors to the house and magnificent sculpture garden are privy to an unprecedented insight into the artist's life and inspirations. tate.org.uk/visit/tate-st-ives/ barbara-hepworth-museum-andsculpture-garden

P UFFI N11K / ANTHONY BEAL / F LI CKR

CORNWALL

READER’S DIGEST

Henry Moore Foundation

HERTFORDSHIRE

guided tour only, but with guides as passionate and knowledgeable as these, it only adds to the experience, offering fascinating glimpses into Moore’s processes and collections.

Visit on a sunny day, take a picnic, and take in the idyllic hamlet through the eyes of a sculptor. henry-moore.org/visit/henry-moorestudios-gardens

Have you been inspired by an artist's home or studio? Email readersletters@ readersdigest.co.uk and let us know

DAVID REED / A LAM Y STOCK PHOTO

Some-time partner of Barbara Hepworth, sculptor Henry Moore created many of his most famous works in the beautiful Hertfordshire hamlet of Perry Green. Visitors can enjoy every aspect of Moore’s vision, from the busy studio spaces where he created his masterpieces, through to the calming, leafy surroundings in which he intended to showcase them.

Unlike traditional galleries, visitors can get up and close with these impressive structures. Access to Moore’s home, Hoglands, is through

85

Alfie Boe is a Tony Award-winning tenor and actor known for his performances in the musical Les Misérables and Baz Luhrmann’s revival of La Bohéme. He has sold over 1 million albums in the United Kingdom

IF I RULED THE WORLD

Alfie Boe

I would make music in education compulsory. Music and the arts seem to suffer in schools, with music programmes being dropped—I think it’s a disaster. Music is such a natural thing to all of us. You don’t necessarily need to play an instrument—you can listen to other performers and look at how music is developed. There are many roles in the music industry that involve more than just standing on stage and 86 • MARCH 2019

singing or playing an instrument.

There’s engineering, producing, writing, and composition…

Everybody has the capability to do this, so for a politician to say that it’s just an elitist art form and only certain people can do it is rubbish.

I’d introduce a fine for people who don’t recycle. It shouldn’t go unnoticed. It affects people’s lives and it should come with a cost. I’ve

INSPIRE

just moved back from America and over there they just throw everything into one big bin of things to be recycled—you never actually know what’s being recycled or being separated out. When I came over here it surprised me how everything has its compartments and the collection only happens every two weeks. It’s frustrating but it makes you think about recycling and your impact on the environment.

I’d have something new on television. Reality TV is a very 1990s thing and it has had its day. There are far too many shows like Big Brother or Love Island. They’re interesting to certain audiences but I think there’s better entertainment out there.

Looking back on the history of television, we had great variety shows every week. You never get a magic show on TV anymore. We need to get back to using the television for what it really was for—entertainment and giving fun, laughter and joy, rather than being concerned whether somebody on Love Island is in love with someone.

I’d turn back time and restrict social media. It’s beneficial for the entertainment industry. Social media seems to be the way forward for selling yourself, putting your music out there. But I don’t believe it has done any good for the world—it has gone to the extreme where it’s ruined

people’s lives as far as politicians, elections and people’s personal lives go. It’s not a great medium.

Nobody really goes out and meets people in cafés, bars or events anymore. Now you can have six dates in one night—you just download an app. It’s bizarre.

I’d increase high street shopping.

I don’t think online shopping makes life easier—I think it makes life lazier.

It’s nice to go out to a shop to buy your shoes from an old-fashioned shoe shop where you can smell the polish and the leather and have the whole experience of sitting down and putting on a really nice pair of shoes and feeling proud about it.

I’d control how much we consume.

The amount of forest that gets cut down for our use is shocking.

Recycling is one thing but control of how much we consume is another important concern. We try not to have too much food waste because we have a food waste collection; our bags of waste are so small. I think it’s important to only buy the food that you will consume. That will alleviate the demand and the destruction of these forests. n As told to Joy Persaud Alfie Boe is touring the UK between March 17–April 29. For tickets, visit alfie-boe.com MARCH 2019 • 87

PARTNERSHIP

PROMOTION

The Ultimate

EAT

London — a city we all know and love, but how often do we truly take the time to be a tourist there?

Whether you’re a local or looking to take a more restful holiday in the city, try out some of London’s mostloved hotspots in our guide below.

Putting the art into afternoon tea, Sketch is a venue you’re likely to have seen online. From its quirky egg-pod toilets to its sumptuous pink interiors, the gastro-brasserie is always at the cutting edge of design, with a variety of themed breakfasts, lunches and dinners.

Just make sure you arrive hungry—their portions may be dainty but they sure pack a punch.

For sustenance on the go, The Old Truman Brewery is one of East London’s premier hubs for independent shops, exhibitions and up-and-coming street food retailers. From vegan-fried chicken to artisanal ice cream, a lunch at Truman’s is the perfect opportunity to get ahead of the next big food trend.

STAY

SHOP

Conveniently located right by King’s Cross station and close to Euston station, the Pullman London St Pancras hotel is the perfect base for any kind of London stay.

Dine in the AA Rosette Award Winning restaurant and bar or unwind in rooms, complete with stunning views of the city, which offer 24-hour room service and acoustic isolation to guarantee a restful sleep.

All Pullman Hotels hold a best price guarantee when booking directly, as well as a worldwide loyalty program that encourages their “global nomad” ethos.

Why not make 2019 the year you take on the world?

Nearby attractions include Regent’s Park, London Zoo and the British Library.

From food to flowers, vintage to vinyl, Columbia Road is easily one of London’s most unique shopping meccas.

Running parallel from top to bottom are all manner of independently owned retailers, topped off by the weekly flower market, world-renowned florists and an expansive selection of blooms. Make sure to get there early to make the most of a wholesome Sunday.

For classic brands and high-street heroes, Westfield Shopping Centre is a must for shopaholics. With Stratford City and Shepherd’s Bush locations, make the most of shops, restaurants and cinemas, with extra services available for personal styling, kids entertainment and accessibility.

LONDON

Weekend Guide

LEARN London truly has a museum for every interest. Wrap your head around modern art at The Tate Modern in Southwark or travel back in time at The V&A Museum of Childhood in Bethnal Green, chockfull of toys, clothing and artefacts from centuries past.

To expand your mind further, keep your eyes peeled on the events calendar at The Southbank Centre. Having hosted talks from the likes of Michelle Obama and Roxane Gay through to Women of The World Festival and various musical events, there is always something on to challenge your ideas about art, culture, history and sociopolitics.

GET OUTDOORS Fans of a relaxing walk will be spoilt for choice in London. The eight Royal Parksmake up just some of London’s 3,000-plus open spaces, refuting the myth that the city is all concrete and tower blocks. Go boating on the Serpentine in

Hyde Park between April-October, or get active at London’s largest outdoor sports area in Regents Park.

For fans of horticulture, a trip to Kew Gardens is well worth the entry price.

Featuring art exhibitions, children’s storytelling and seasonal meals at it’s various cafes, it offers plenty more than it’s iconic plant life.

If you’re looking to keep active during your trip, join the Pullman Running Club during your hotel stay for a sociable approach to keeping fit.

ADMIRE THE VIEW There is a whole abundance of fun ways to take to the skies in London town.

Challenge any fear of heights with the Up At The O2 experience—kitted out in a climb suit and aided by a guide, you’ll walk to the very top of the o2 via a walkway, suspended 52m above ground.

Nearby is also the Emirates Airline Cable Car, an efficient way to cross the Thames while enjoying a great view. n

In Spanish Basque country, cider is not just an alcoholic beverage—it’s a way of life

The Art Of Cider Tasting

BY JAS O N W I L SO N F ROM THE N EW YO RK TIM E S

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE

A friendly toast in Petritegi Cider House in Astigarraga

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N

O ONE really tells you what to do when you first arrive at a sagardotegi, or traditional Basque cider house, especially if you don’t speak Basque. You’re simply given a glass, led to one of the long wooden tables in a vast room, and immediately served a plate of chorizo, followed by a cod omelette.

It’s left up to you to figure out how to get a drink.

My brother, Tyler, and I learned this on our first night in Astigarraga, Spain, five miles southeast of San Sebastián, which happens to be the cider capital of Spanish

I ALLOWED THE STREAM TO HIT THE VERY RIM OF MY GLASS, SPRAYING A LITTLE ON THE FLOOR, JUST AS THE LOCALS DO. Basque Country. In this town of just over 6,000 people, there are an astonishing 16 cider houses. We were spending several days here in late January, at the start of the traditional cider season. With Spanish-style ciders becoming more popular among some cider makers and cider enthusiasts, I wanted to see what they tasted like at the source.

92 • MARCH 2019

At Gartziategi, a sagardotegi in a big stone shed on the outskirts of town, we learned that when a guy with a bucket yells “txotx!” (pronounced “chotch”), that means he’s about to open the tap on one of dozens of huge 13,000-litre barrels, shooting out a thin stream of cider.

You’re supposed to stand up from your meal, get in line, and hold your glass at just the right angle to catch a few fingers of cider from that hissing stream. You drink the small amount in your glass and then follow the cidermaker to the next barrel.

Thinking it was a free for all, my first faux pas was coming at the stream from the wrong side and essentially butting in line. Then, I couldn’t quite figure out how to hold my glass so that the cider hit at the right angle, to “break” the liquid and create bubbles. Thankfully, the crowd at the Basque cider house was very forgiving. A kind white-haired man in a jumper, whose group was eating next to us, showed me the ropes, hopping up and waving me along with him at the next shout of “txotx!”

We eventually learned on our cider house tour that advice was forthcoming if you sought it out.

At a modern cider house in the town centre, called Zapiain, a handpainted mural of “don’ts” was on the wall: Don’t cut in line; don’t fill your glass all the way up; don’t sit on the barrels. Tyler grasped the technique

ALL PHOTOS BY DANIEL RODRI GUES

T H E A R T O F C I D E R TA S T I N G

(Top); Zapiain dining room, with a view of the barrels and tasting area.

(Bottom); A thin stream of cider shoots out from a tapped barrel and is caught in a glass held just so.

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(Top); The dining room in Lizeaga Cider House. (Bottom); Sagardoaren Lurraldea Cider Museum (foreground) offers tastings and help making reservations for cider houses

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READER’S DIGEST

much quicker than I did. “Here, take it here, at an angle,” said Igór, our tour guide at Petritegi, another sagardotegi just down the road from Gartziategi (the suffix “tegi” means “place of”). I did as Igór said, allowing the stream to hit the very rim of my glass, spraying a little bit on the floor, just as the locals do. (I got the hang of it on my fourth glass.)

Some older sagardotegi actually have worn grooves in the cement floors from years of streaming cider.

The point, Igór told us, was to make sure the cider has good txinparta, or bubbles; if the cider is healthy, those bubbles should dissipate quickly. The cider in the glass disappears quickly too. The flavours are funky, crisp and acidic, and usually bone dry.

In late January, Astigarraga was still relatively mellow. But as txotx season rolls on, more than 15,000 cider enthusiasts can crowd into the town’s cider houses each weekend.

Txotx season follows the apple harvest of September and October, then fermentation of the cider in early winter. In fact, in late January, some of the barrels might not be fully finished fermenting.

“The cider in the barrel is still evolving,” Igór said. “If you come back in two months and taste the same barrel, it will have evolved.” In Basque Country, most cider is made by spontaneous fermentation and no added commercial yeast, similar

to natural winemaking. Once the season ends in mid-May, whatever is left in the barrel is bottled.

The annual ritual harkens back to an era when cidermakers would invite clients, perhaps innkeepers, restaurateurs or the famed gastronomic societies of San Sebastián, to taste and choose which casks they wanted to purchase.

“Here, cider is not just an alcoholic beverage,” Igór said. “It’s a way of life.” Petritegi, for instance, dates to 1526.

‘CIDER IS DEEP IN OUR CULTURE,’ SAID MIKEL, OUR POURER. ‘WE DON’T EVEN KNOW WHEN WE STARTED MAKING IT’ Over the years, a meal became part of the ritual. Every cider house serves the same basic menu for around 30 euros: chorizo, cod omelet, fried cod with green peppers, a medium-rare T-bone steak, and Basque cheese (such as Idiazabal) served with walnuts and quince paste. And all the cider you can drink. The cider house ritual is just one of many Basque Country cultural touchstones that make this autonomous community a very different place than the rest of Spain.

MARCH 2019 • 95

T H E A R T O F C I D E R TA S T I N G

“Twenty years ago, there weren’t chairs,” Igór said. “The food was just in the middle of the table.” While Petritegi did indeed offer chairs—and a beautiful hake in garlic and oil as an alternative to the cod—we were served roughly the same menu in all seven cider houses we visited, and we stood and ate in three of them.

IF YOU GO THE CIDER MUSEUM Sagardoaren Lurraldea Kale Nagusia 48, Astigarraga. Offers tastings, hiking tours, and help making reservations for local cider houses.

DRINK AND EAT Some cider houses in Astigarraga to visit during txotx season (reservations are recommended): n Zapiain, Kale Nagusia 96 n Garziategi, Martutene Pasealekua 139 n Lizeaga, Paseo de Martutene 139 n Petritegi, Petritegi Bidea.

Open year-round. n Zelaia, Martindegi, In Hernani. A 20-minute walk from Astigarraga.

LODGING n Pensión Txingurri, Donostia Ibilbidea 90, Astigarraga n Sagarlore Hotel, Petritegi Bidea, Astigarraga

96 • MARCH 2019

In Astigarraga, a sleepy but pleasant town, we took a lovely but steep hike up to an old church that had been a stop on the ancient Camino de Santiago pilgrimage. As we wandered past orchards overlooking the bay of San Sebastián, our guide, Ainize, told us stories of the Basque golden age. In the 16th century, Basque ships were built around cider barrels, and on long trips sailors drank three litres of cider per day to fend off scurvy.

The result, according to lore, was that the Basque fishermen and whale hunters were the healthiest and most renowned on the sea, fishing as far away as Canada. Their range was so famous that, only two years ago, the remote West Fjords of Iceland repealed a 400-year-old law that ordered the murder of any Basque visitor on sight.

As we descended back into the town square, Ainize pointed out the local pelota court, where a traditional handball game is played, based on a game played by the ancient Greeks.

We also saw huge stones with handles used for lifting and carrying. The day before, we’d drunk cider with a woman named Olatz who told us, “I carry a stone weighing 87 stone with eight women.” She added, with a laugh, “We have our own sports here.”

At Petritegi, Igór took us through the orchards where we learned about Basque varieties of apples like Goikoetxe, Moko, Txalaka, Gezamina and Urtebi—a far cry from Granny

READER’S DIGEST

Smith and Golden Delicious. A Basque cider can be made from more than 100 varieties—some bitter, some acidic, some sweet—and 40 to 50 might be blended in a single cider.

We were told that 2.2lbs of apples will make one bottle. We were also told that apples are sometimes trucked in from as far away as the Czech Republic to keep up with demand.

In the town center, Sidería Bereziartua operates a tasting room, and so we booked a tasting. “Cider is deep in our culture,” said Mikel, our pourer. “We don’t even know when we started making it.” Ciders using the official denomination of origin, Euskal Sagardoa, must be made entirely from Basque apples.

When he poured Bereziartua’s Euskal Sagardoa, Mikel said, “If you want to take one bottle, drink this one.” Then he poured another Bereziartua cider, one that they produce using foreign apples in the blend. “If you want to drink three bottles, you take this one,” he said.

Buying bottles at these cider houses is relatively inexpensive. I never saw one priced above ten euros, and most were under five euros.

On our last evening, we went to Lizeaga, a sagardotegi in a 16thcentury farmhouse that’s next to Gartziategi. Earlier, our stone-carrying friend Olatz had described the house as “the real txotx.”

Our reservation at one of the tables

was marked with a long baguette.

There were no chairs. After the opening plate of chorizo, we strolled into the barrel room. Gabriel, the cider maker, was opening the ancient taps with what looked like pliers.

Gabriel went from cask to cask, and we followed, dashing back into the dining room in between.

After the eighth or ninth txotx, and after some debating of technique with my brother, I thought I had finally gotten the catch down like a true Basque. But on the next txotx, when I put my glass under the stream, Gabriel gently corrected my form: “No, no,” he said, “have the cider hit here.” Well, no matter.

Soon enough he tapped another barrel, and there was another chance to learn. n

FROM NEW YORK TIMES (MARCH 16, 2018) © 2018 BY NEW YORK TIMES CO., NYTIMES.COM

MARCH 2019 • 97

My Great Escape:

Cultural Croatia Wendy Stevens from Aylesbury enjoys a film-inspired adventure in sunny Croatia

M

amma Mia! As a first-time solo traveller, I was drawn to Croatia thanks to the recent ABBA musical sequel, filmed on the country’s beautiful coastline.

The film itself was shot on the island of Vis, just off the mainland, which would’ve been quite expensive and difficult to get to. Undeterred, I settled on the equally beautiful coastline of the northern city of Split on the mainland.

There are several fabulous tourist opportunities to explore nearby, including Dubrovnik, Trogir, Zagreb, Krka Falls, numerous Unesco sites, fascinating islands and historic towns.

A tip from my host was to get a “SplitCard” from the Tourist Information office in the harbour.

The card meant I could get discounts at restaurants, bars and shops, as well as reduced entry costs and—in one case—free entry to the rich and informative Ethnographic Museum.

One of my favourite parts of the trip was going to the famed national

98 • MARCH 2019

wartime sculptor and artist, Ivan Meštrovic's ´ former home and gallery. Set on the west side of the city, it has a stunning coastal garden.

Accessible by bike and taxi from the cosmopolitan harbour, it’s well worth a visit. I spent all morning there and ended the day with a glass of local wine on the terrace before strolling back along the beautiful coastline in the sunshine.

My second favourite day included walking up Marjan Hill, accessible by foot from the harbour, with a wonderful café and viewing platform offering magnificent views of the city, coastline and sea.

Coastal walking, discovering new bays and beaches, lunches, drinks and sunbathing all made this the perfect place to relax in the sun.

A great cultural treat and escape from the grey English weather in truly stunning scenery.

Tell us about your favourite holiday (send a photo too) and if we print it we’ll pay £50.

Email excerpts@readersdigest.co.uk

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE

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T R AV E L & A D V E N T U R E

FOODIE ESCAPES FOR THE UNWELL: PORTUGAL

A detox garden retreat in the Algarve, Moinhos Velhos, hosts nutritional weeks of organic fruit and vegetable juices, plus yoga and meditation.

Expect weight loss, mental rebooting and heaps of extra energy (moinhosvelhos.com).

FOR STAYCATIONERS: CORNWALL

Seasonality, local fare, foraging and a wood-fired oven hold sway in Rastella, part of the chic Merchant’s Manor hotel-and-spa in beachy Falmouth. Hence its sweet-potato wellingtons, its seaweed butter and its perfect pork-belly squares (merchantsmanor.com).

FOR CITY-BREAKERS: POLAND

Farmers’ markets, food trucks and funky updates of traditional dumpling dishes are among the reasons why Krakow will be Europe’s inaugural Capital of Gastronomic Culture in 2019. The Copernicus hotel has a feted restaurant (kirkerholidays.com).

FOR SUN-SEEKERS: MOROCCO

Combining Marrakech with a mountain guesthouse, Essential Escapes’ fivenight culinary tour will have you learning to cook tagines and trawling the hurly-burly souks with a personal shopper (essentialescapes.com).

FOR KIMCHI DISCIPLES: SOUTH KOREA

Intrepid Travel runs seven-night, small-group tours which pair friedchicken restaurants and rice-beer bar crawls with monastery stays, soybean soup slurping and bibimbap pilgrimages to culinary capital Jeonju (intrepidtravel.com). n

by Richard Mellor

Travel app of the month BOUTIQ TRAVEL, FREE, ANDROID & IOS Curating the best food and destination recommendations from your own trusted “inner circle”, this social network-style app is intended as an answer to non-trustworthy review sites like Yelp or TripAdvisor.

100 • MARCH 2019

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Are You Paying Too Much For Your Mobile Phone?

We’re a nation that loves mobile phones, with Ofcom reporting that 96 per cent of us have a handset—but I think many of you are overpaying. Here’s how to really bring down the cost, without sacrificing service The problem with contracts The most common way to get not just your phone, but also your minutes, texts and data, is to take out a contract with one of the networks. This spreads out the cost of your handset over two years or so, which might seem like no bad thing.

However, combined contracts rarely offer the best value. There’s not only likely to be a hidden premium attached to the package, but you could easily keep paying when your contract ends if you don’t switch to a new handset or cheaper contract.

Around 1.5 million people are overpaying because of this.

Andy Webb is a personal finance journalist and runs the award-winning money blog, Be Clever With Your Cash 102 • MARCH 2019

Going SIM-only There’s no requirement to get a new handset each time your contract is up.

And if you are in need of an upgrade you don’t have to buy a new one from the network. So, the easy way to bring down your bill is to keep your existing phone and pay just for the service.

This is known as going “SIM-only”.

If you’re out of contract, the simple option here is to call up your network and tell them you want to move to a SIM-only deal. If you’d been paying for a premium handset it can bring the monthly bill down by a shockingly large amount.

You have two choices with SIMonly. Pay-as-you-go SIMs need to be topped up by a certain amount, eg, a tenner, which runs out as you use the phone. These can be good if you don’t use your mobile much.

For most it’s better value to go for pay-monthly. This is a package of

MONEY

103

calls, texts and data for a monthly price. You can opt for a 30-day rolling contract, or sign up for a year or longer.

Get the same service for less If that doesn’t cut the bills as much as you’d like, then it’s worth looking at switching. I understand why you might be reluctant—you want to make sure you get signal where you live and work, and moving to another network could jeopardise that. And you probably don’t want a new phone number. Both of these can be easily avoided, though.

First, let’s look at signal. You might be surprised to know that there are actually only four networks: O2, EE, Vodafone and Three. All other 104 • MARCH 2019

providers such as Giffgaff, BT Mobile and ID use the infrastructure of the main four. It’s often referred to as “piggybacking” and means you get exactly the same signal. For example, Giffgaff uses O2 and BT Mobile uses EE. Often these challenger brands are cheaper too, so it’s well worth considering a switch.

You can also move your existing phone number over. Simply ask your current network for a Product Authorisation Code, commonly known as a PAC. Let your new network know this code and they’ll do the rest. The number is normally transferred over the same or next working day. All you have to do is switch over the SIM card in your phone.

READER’S DIGEST

However, even if you’re out of contract, you might need to give a 30day notice, so check the terms of your existing tariff before you sign up with a new network. You don’t want to end up paying twice.

Pay for what you actually need Whether you’re sticking or switching network, it’s worth reviewing what you’re paying for. Take a look at your bills and see how many minutes you’re using, how many texts you’re sending and how much data you’re using. There’s a good chance you are paying for more than you use. Reduce your allowances and you’ll reduce your bill further.

Websites such as mobilephonechecker.co.uk will let you compare the different tariffs once you know what you need. You can also use the website checker.ofcom.org.uk to check coverage in your area.

Enter a postcode and you’ll see a call and data availability for each of the four networks both indoors and outdoors.

Consider combining your mobile bill with other services It’s worth looking at your other media services such as broadband or pay TV. Lots of companies, including Sky, BT and Virgin are offering discounts if you “bundle” all your services together. This could tie you into that

provider, so if you’re planning to switch or cancel one of these, it might be better to avoid this option.

What if you need a new handset?

SIM-only is great if your phone itself is working fine. But if it’s on its last legs, or you just fancy an upgrade, what do you do?

The vast majority of the time it will work out cheaper to buy your handset on its own rather than as part of a contract. However, you should compare prices as there are sometimes decent special offers.

If you do want to pay separately then this usually means a large upfront cost, especially for premium options such as iPhones.

If you don’t have the cash available, you can look at 0% purchase credit cards to help spread the cost. Though make sure you cover the minimum monthly payments and are able to clear the whole balance before interest charges begin.

Alternatively, older models will be cheaper. Or you can buy refurbished handsets from networks and manufacturers which work just as well but cost a fair whack less.

Again, don’t pay for more than you need. There are lots of innovations which claim to improve how the handsets work, but if you only make calls you don’t need it to have facial recognition or a super camera. n MARCH 2019 • 105

FOOD

Mussels Dijonnaise Now is peak season for mussels—they’re thriving in the cool spring waters off the British coastline and make for a tasty meal. Our native shellfish have been used for sustenance for more than 20,000 years and prehistoric Scottish settlements can be identified by mounds of mussel shells found nearby. So fall back in love with mussels with this simple dish!

Serves 4

• 750g frozen French fries • 2kg mussels • 50g butter • 2-3 leeks, thoroughly rinsed and thinly sliced • 2 sprigs of thyme, stripped from the stem • 375ml white wine • 2tbsp Dijon mustard • 1tbsp crème fraiche • ½ lemon, juiced • 2tbsp flatleaf parsley, chopped • 100g lambs lettuce

Rachel Walker is a food writer for numerous national publications. Visit rachel-walker.co.uk for more information

106 • MARCH 2019

1. Tip the French fries into a

roasting tray and cook, as per pack instructions.

2. Next, prepare the mussels. Most farmed mussels in the UK don’t require too much work—simply tip into a colander, rinse under a running cold tap and tug out the knotty fibre “beards.” It’s good practice to sift through the mussels and discard any which have open shells, which indicates that they have died and shouldn’t be eaten.

3. Melt the butter in the biggest pan you have—ideally a stock pot. Add the leeks and thyme, and sweat on a low heat until they are soft. Turn up the heat and add the white wine, so that it hisses as it hits the hot pan. Let it cook at a fast simmer for 1 minute, then stir in the mustard and crème fraiche and bring the sauce up to a running simmer again before adding all the mussels. Tip them into the pot and cook covered for 3 minutes, giving the pan a shake halfway through. Lift the lid to check that all the mussel shells have now pinged open—give them another minute if not.

4. Toss a little salt over the French fries, and then ladle the mussels into warmed, shallow dishes. Finish with a squeeze of lemon and chopped parsley, and serve with a simply dressed lambs lettuce salad.

Drinks Tip…

P HOTOGRAPHY BY TIM & ZOË HI LL

White Burgundy is a great choice for shellfish. The Society’s White Burgundy (£9.95, The Wine Society) is a real crowd pleaser, with a refreshing apple-crispness which makes an ideal pairing for rich flavours.

FOOD

APPLE STRUDEL SERVES 6 • 100g sultanas • 100g butter • 75g breadcrumbs • 50g Muscovado sugar

• 800g apple (Bramley, Braeburn), peeled, cored and cut into chunks • ½tsp of cinnamon, pinch of ground cloves and freshly-grated nutmeg • 250g pre-rolled filo pastry

1. Preheat the oven to 200°C, and line a tray with baking parchment. Cover the sultanas with hot water from the kettle and leave them to soak and plump up. Melt the butter in a frying pan. Tip half into a small dish, and fry the breadcrumbs in the remaining butter—on a low heat, until they turn crisp and golden.

2. Tip the breadcrumbs into a bowl. Add the Muscovado sugar, apple chunks, spices and drained sultanas, and stir until combined.

P HOTOGRAPHY BY TIM & ZOË HI LL

3. Use a pastry brush to paint a thin layer of the remaining melted butter onto one of the sheets of filo, and “stick” another filo sheet on top. Continue, until the pastry is four filo sheets thick.

4. Put the pastry on a tea towel, and tip the apple filling into the centre, shape it roughly into a vertical line down the centre. Tuck both ends in and then use the tea towel to fold the sides over. Gently roll it onto the baking parchment, so the join is underneath the parcel.

5. Bake for 40 minutes, until crisp and golden. Dust with icing sugar and serve with cream or ice cream. n

108 • MARCH 2019

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The other reason equity release is growing, is thanks to the secure and structured way that Lifetime Mortgages allow homeowners to use some of their property wealth when they really need it. Lifetime Mortgages allow you to access a portion of your home’s value, tax-free, while retaining 100pc homeownership - and there are no required monthly payments.

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you against the unpredictability of the future. For instance, all plans from Equity Release Council approved lenders include a no-negative-equity guarantee as standard, ensuring you can never owe more than the value of your home.

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There are features to help you to keep costs down. Taking advantage of these features is a great way to control any impact on your estate. This is because using some of your home’s equity now may reduce the value of your estate in time and could affect your entitlement to means-tested state benefits.

A tool for a more fulfilling retirement Unlocking your property wealth with equity release is a powerful tool for achieving your later life goals. If you’re looking to renovate your home, help your nearest and dearest or supplement your disposable income, equity release could be right for you. For your free guide to Lifetime Mortgages, contact Reader’s Digest Equity Release today. n

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HOME & GARDEN

Bathroom Updates Give your bathroom a mini makeover with our roundup of quick fixes that won’t break the bank

Homes and gardens writer and stylist Cassie Pryce specialises in interior trends and discovering new season shopping

I

f you’re looking to spruce up your bathroom but aren’t wanting to splash out on a whole new suite, there are plenty of ways to give this room a revamp on a smaller scale.

The quickest and most affordable update is simply changing your accessories for a speedy refresh— think fluffy new towels, stylish soap holders and a collection of potted house plants to instantly rejuvenate a tired space. Replacing your mirror or hanging wall art is another cheap and cheerful way to add some personality without the need for a redesign. You can also invest in new storage furniture or open shelves to display

110 • MARCH 2019

colourful towels and flannels as a focal point.

Tiles and flooring have a big impact in bathrooms but can feel like a daunting task to remove and replace.

For a budget-friendly alternative, use a grout pen to revive existing grout lines that are looking a little shabby, or use tile paint to re-colour tiles in a brand new shade. Tile stickers are also available if you’re looking to add pattern to plain tiles—they can completely transform the look of the space for a fraction of the cost of having the room re-tiled.

Replacing dated fixtures and fittings will give any bathroom a new lease of life and can be picked up at stores such as B&Q and Homebase for as little as £17. Installing stylish new taps on the basin or bathtub can make the whole suite feel brand new and only requires some basic DIY skills or a few hours labour from a professional.

Fresh Look Bamboo ladder, £49; black toothbrush holder, £5; black soap pump, £7; arrow towels in plaster, £10 for a hand towel; Paz bath towels, from £18, all John Lewis

111

HOME & GARDEN

How To Be An

Eco-Friendly Gardener

Jessica Summers reflects on how to create a heavenly garden without the harm Consciously caring for our planet and limiting the damage we create is becoming a prioritised habit in our daily lives. Whether it’s using public transport or avoiding singleuse plastic, we’re developing an awareness of our personal impact on the Earth and finding ways to reduce the destructive cycle. Gardens—often the only blissfully green paradise we have control over—are a logical place to start.

All consumer products require energy to create, so when buying for your plot, be mindful of whether you already have an item you could use.

Upcycle tins, buckets, old clay, plastic and wood to house your plants in rather than buying brand new pots. You may find that your outdoor space is given a rustic charm, especially if you decide to decorate your repurposed treasures.

112 • MARCH 2019

To reduce your use of harsh chemicals when cultivating plants, consider “companion planting”, a process which involves growing certain species alongside each other to encourage an optimal habitat and deter pests. Some great pairings are: horse radishes with potatoes to decrease risk of disease, beans with pumpkins to trap nitrogen in the soil and carrots with leeks to repel each other’s pests.

Consider planting hedges instead of fences—the added greenery will encourage an abundance of wildlife and can add significant charm.

Likewise, it would be shrewd to create a little “wild corner”, which will help to keep slugs away from your precious plants as well as invite various small animals and bee-friendly plants to play.

Happy mindful gardening! n

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Paris - 3 nights in September or November 2019, travelling

by Eurostar and staying at 4* Hotel Mercure Paris Centre Tour Eiffel. Learn to cook a Mediterranean-themed meal at a workshop with a classically-trained chef at Le Cordon Bleu, Paris; stock up on culinary treats and professional kitchen essentials at the Institute’s boutique; take home a treat-filled goodie bag; enjoy welcome drinks and delicious canapes at the hotel; experience a champagne/cheese pairing; take in a panoramic view of Paris with a glass of champagne at Montparnasse Tower.

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FASHION & BEAUTY

Pack

A Poncho Lisa Lennkh is a banker turned fashion writer, stylist and blogger.

Her blog, The Sequinist, focuses on sparkle and statement style for midlife women

L

ast year, I bought my first poncho. I'm going to go out on a limb here and just say it: it's been life changing! I knew I'd wear it enough to justify the purchase, but I didn't expect that I'd wear it nearly as much as I have. For spring, it is the perfect wear-with-everything layer.

On a chilly day, pop it over a toasty jumper. On a warm day, wear a cotton vest underneath. On a breezy summer evening, wear it with a pair of white jeans or linen trousers. You can even use a poncho to dress down a smart black dress for daytime, as I'm doing here. This particular poncho even works over my gym kit. If I have errands to run before the gym and don't want to look full-on "athleisure", a poncho covers everything that needs to be covered, but still looks pulled-together. What you wear 114 • MARCH 2019

underneath really doesn't matter; the poncho takes centre stage. If you choose the right one, a poncho can be the most versatile piece you own.

My first poncho was this soft merino wool graphic one by Winser London. The colours go with practically everything I own, so it was an easy choice. I wore it so much that I got a second one in solid black and then a third one in luxurious red cashmere (also from Winser London, the ideal and best-priced knitwear brand in the UK, in my opinion).

What I love most about these modern ponchos is that there's no whiff of the just-back-from-a-gap-year-in-SouthAmerica vibe about them. No fringes.

No llama motifs. No sludgy boho earth tones. No rustic scratchy fabrics.

On the contrary, the right poncho lends effortless elegance (the kind the French are so good at) to any outfit.

Ponchos are also brilliant for travel.

Unlike a cardigan or a jumper, they fold neatly into a perfect little square, and fit into carry-on luggage or even in a handbag to be whipped out, wrinkle-free, when needed.

Because a poncho creates volume on top, I've learned to keep the bottom half of my outfit pared down for balance and proportion. Skinny jeans, pencil skirts, and even leggings work brilliantly. Any item that gives me license to wear leggings and stretchy skinny jeans and still look springtime-stylish is definitely a win in my book.

READER’S DIGEST

115

FA S H I O N & B E A U T Y

Swish And Flick Jenessa Williams shows us how to nail a timeless cat eye

The feline approach to eyeliner is one that has been a staple of beauty regimes since timekeeping began— just look at Cleopatra. However, for those in a hurry, achieving an even swoosh on both sides can be quite the challenge.

If you’re looking to smarten up your eye make up, a few new products might be in order. For those with unsteady hands, a gel liner is a much more durable alternative to a liquid or pencil—team with a softbristled eye brush and adopt the dot approach, dabbing guide spots across your lid and then slowly joining them up. Biodegradable cotton buds will clean up any mistakes, and can even work as an extra tool to drag out the outer corner when dampened with a little make-up remover.

For the lower-maintenance days, the new wave of stamp liners are fast filling beauty cheat sheets worldwide.

116 • MARCH 2019

Simply position the nip at your preferred angle, and press gently— voila! Perfect cat eye flicks with all of the drama, and none of the hassle.

Whatever your technique, keep it bright, well-defined and whimsical.

Your younger self would approve. n

Hero Products 1 Bobbi Brown Long Wear Gel Eyeliner Duo To Go £13 2 Rimmel Wonder Wing Eyeliner Black, £5.99 3 Hydrophil Bamboo & Cotton Buds, £2.49

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HHHHH

Actor and comedian Simon Amstell’s (of Never Mind the Buzzcocks fame) sophomore feature, Benjamin, is so self-referential that it could’ve easily been called Simon. It follows the titular Benjamin—an unfledged London filmmaker who struggles with low self esteem, existential doubt and a crippling fear of rejection. He’s also very funny. All these factors contribute to a caboodle of hilarious scenarios involving quirky, neurotic characters you’ll recognise from your own life: from a struggling amateur stand-up comedian who finds himself hopelessly

in love, to a self-absorbed PR executive who sees everything and everyone as a potential marketing goldmine. And then there’s Benjamin himself: played with great sensitivity and finesse by rising star, Colin Morgan, he will win your heart over with his perpetual awkwardness, kind nature and biting wit as he desperately attempts to let his guard down and allow himself to love and be loved.

It’s a sweet, sad, hysterical, moving and—most importantly—very, very human movie. In a time when you’ll be hard-pressed to find a film under two hours long, devoid of overcomplicated narratives and self-indulgent follies, Benjamin is an effortlessly delightful and sincere breath of fresh air.

118 • MARCH 2019

READERSDIGEST.CO.U K/C U LT U RE / F IL M

Simon Amstell follows up Carnage with a disarmingly funny comedy about art, life, love and why it’s all so terrifying

© VERVE PICTURES

BENJAMIN

FILMS

HHHHH CRIME: EVERYBODY KNOWS

From the director of the critically acclaimed films A Separation and The Salesman, comes this gripping new thriller starring Spanish cinema’s first couple, Javier Bardem and Penélope Cruz.

The story revolves around Laura, a mother of two, who travels to her hometown to attend her sister’s wedding.

What starts off as a joyous, dance and drink-filled celebration soon turns into a devastating nightmare when one of her children goes missing. The film has it all: secrets, love, crime, betrayal,

lust, laughter and tears—to the point that it veers into soap opera territory.

Nevertheless, it’s thrillingly consuming from the get-go, with Cruz and Bardem naturally stealing every scene they’re in.

HHHHH

© 20TH CEN TURY FOX / STUDIOCANAL / UNI VERSAL

BIOGRAPHY: THE WHITE CROW This

HHHHH DRAMA: THE AFTERMATH It’s 1946.

British colonel Lewis Morgan (Jason Clarke) and his wife Rachael (Keira Knightley) arrive in Hamburg to oversee the reconstruction of the war-torn city and, in an unlikely turn of events, end up sharing a house with a German widower (Alexander Skarsgård) and his daughter.

Tensions arise, turning this stylish wartime drama into a saucy, Mills & Boon-worthy tale of passion and betrayal.

biographical drama about one of the world’s greatest ballet dancers, Rudolf Nureyev, and his defection from the USSR in the Sixties, is the latest in a string of Ralph Fiennes’ Russia-inspired cinematic passion projects. Well-intentioned as it may be, though, the film’s star, Oleg Ivenko, doesn’t do Nureyev—a naturally charismatic, playful man—any favours by portraying him as a relentlessly angry, unpleasant person to be around.

If you’re hungry for more on the Russian ballet star, we’d recommend swapping The White Crow for one of the many existing documentaries.

by Eva Mackevic 119

TELEVISION

CUCKOO: SERIES 5 (BBC 1, IPLAYER) What is it? The best thing to come

out of Lichfield since the Staffordshire Hoard.

Why should I watch it?

BETTER THINGS (BBC2, BBC IPLAYER) What is it? Subtle observations on

motherhood’s myriad tribulations.

Why should I watch it? Two stumbling blocks: firstly, that star Pamela Adlon cocreated the show with the recently disgraced Louis CK; then the fact Adlon’s actress heroine is called Sam Fox, a name with its own history over here. Bypass those hurdles, and quietly perceptive, sometimes extremely funny slices of working-mum life await.

Best episode? Episode 4, in which Sam loses a major role without even knowing about it, has the ring of hard-won truth.

This nuclear-family sitcom with a twist—each season deposits an American guest star in the humdrum Thompsons’ middle-of-theMidlands nest—remains one of the most consistently amusing and sweet shows on British TV. Best character? This year’s vampy VIP Andie MacDowell meshes well with the show’s ever-excellent ensemble—and her relationship with oversized poodle Miss Tigglytops is a particular hoot.

Best episode?

A toss-up between the country house farce of Episode 3 and Episode 5 with its vegan dining nightmare.

by Mike McCahill

WHAT TO STREAM THIS MONTH: SELECTION DAY (NETFLIX) A handsomely shot Indian medium-pacer about a cricket-obsessed dad’s desperate attempts to land his two sons professional contracts.

120 • MARCH 2019

SEX EDUCATION (NETFLIX) Therapist mother Gillian Anderson and virginal son Asa Butterfield strive to cure millennial bedroom hangups in this fresh comedy.

YOU (NETFLIX) Meet the new Dexter: Penn Badgley is New York’s most charming stalker in this outrageously hooky, already muchstreamed psychothriller.

R E A D E R S D E R S D I G E ST.CO.U K /C U LT U R E / F I L M

BBC P ICTURERS / FX NETWORK/KOBAL/REX/SH UTTERSTOCK

xx

MUSIC ALBUM OF THE MONTH: THERE WILL BE NO INTERMISSION

BY AMANDA PALMER

“It’s just a ride / And you’ve got the choice to get off anytime that you like / It’s just a ride / The alternative’s nothingness so we might as well give it a try”—opens “The Ride”—an epic, emotionally pulverising ballad that sinks its hooks deep into your soul with fearsome piano chords and a message so real, it’s frightening.

Hell, what do you even follow up a song like that with? Well, if you’re familiar with Amanda Palmer’s work, you’ll know that it’s merely an appetiser preceding a rich, soul-tearingly honest emotional feast. From song to song, the artist rips herself open, exposing every bruised inch bearing the marks of her life’s many travails: grief, abortion, loss, miscarriage.

Ultimately, the songs become an ointment for our own pulsating, abscessed traumas as they lead up to the emotional sucker punch that is “A Mother’s Confession” in which Palmer recounts the complex, often scary experience of being a parent through small, boldly honest vignettes from her life. By the end of the record, you feel as if you’re right there by Palmer’s side, holding her hand as she holds yours, taking comfort in each other’s company. We need more music that makes us feel this way…

by Eva Mackevic READER RADAR: TOM ANSELL, OPERATIONAL CONSULTANT WATCHING: MATCH OF THE DAY The BBC’s finest drama—

packed full of surprise, daredevil action and top quality banter. A much better watch when the Arsenal win!

READING: THE REVENGE OF GAIA

James Lovelock describes our planet as a self-regulating system that could soon be pushed over a dangerous tipping point by global warming. It’s over ten years old but unfortunately, no less relevant.

ONLINE: ENVIRONMENTAL RESEARCH On the back of

the Gaia book and a New Year’s resolution to support the environment with action, I’ve been researching carbon offset schemes and Extinction Rebellion—a relatively new group calling for mass action and nonviolent resistance.

LISTENING: LEON BRIDGES He’s well worth a listen... and a boogie.

E M A I L YO U R R E CO M M E N DAT I O N S TO R E A D E R S L E T T E R S @ R E A D E R S D I G E ST.CO.U K

BOOKS

March Fiction From kind-hearted policemen in Sweden to sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll in the Seventies, March offers some deliciously good stories to dive into…

The Department of Sensitive Crimes by Alexander McCall Smith (Little, Brown, £18.99) Ever since The No. 1. Ladies’ Detective Agency in 1998, Alexander McCall Smith has proved himself the most genial of writers. His books do acknowledge life’s difficulties, but their emphasis is firmly on the abiding presence and transforming power of human goodness. His many fans might therefore be slightly alarmed to hear that his latest novel is the first of a new crime series based in Sweden: a setting which usually guarantees a serious dollop of gloom.

But, as it soon transpires, those fans needn’t worry. Not only is the main character Ulf Varg “possibly the kindest man in the entire Swedish police service”, he’s even oldJames Walton is a book reviewer and broadcaster, and has written and presented 17 series of the BBC Radio 4 literary quiz The Write Stuff 122 • MARCH 2019

fashioned enough to believe in behaving like a gentleman (although McCall Smith makes the interesting point in passing that the modern #MeToo movement could be seen as a call for the return of gentlemanliness). Naturally, the crimes he investigates aren’t terribly nasty either—and, given that they’re quite easily solved, the novel’s considerable appeal lies mostly in the relationships between Ulf and his similarly well-meaning colleagues.

That, and McCall Smith’s continuing warm-heartedness makes him such unfailingly good company.

Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid (Hutchinson, £12.99) Daisy Jones and the Six were one of the biggest bands of the late 1970s, when their album Aurora became a huge, world-conquering success.

And if you haven’t heard of them, that’s because they’re fictional— something that can often be hard to

READER’S DIGEST

remember while enjoying this brilliantly gripping account of their rise and fall.

The novel—already snapped up for a 13-part drama series on Amazon—is structured like an oral history, the narrative made up of fragments of interviews with former members, their friends and assorted hangers-on. In theory, I suppose, this could have made for a frustratingly bitty book. In Taylor Jenkins Reid’s expert hands, it becomes a remarkably vivid way of capturing every aspect of the band’s career: from the excitement of their early breakthroughs to the increasingly fraught atmosphere brought about by global fame, drugs and intra-group rivalries and sexual relationships.

Along the way, too, the book has lots to say more generally about the trickiness of working out what you want from life—and the equally tricky business of getting it when you do.

Name the author Can you guess the writer from these clues (the fewer you need the better)?

1. She’s written historical fiction under the name Caroline Harvey.

2. H er real surname is the same as that of the Victorian author of He Knew He Was Right.

Paperbacks Down to Earth: Gardening Wisdom

by Monty Don (DK, £9.99) Tips and thoughts from 50 years of gardening experience, including a month-by-month jobs guide.

The Burning Chambers

by Kate Mosse (Pan, £8.99) The author of the huge-selling Labyrinth with the thrilling first instalment in a new series of historical French novels.

A Boy in the Water

by Tom Gregory (Penguin, £9.99) Eye-popping account of how Gregory swam the Channel in 1988, aged 11, making him the youngest person to do it (probably forever, as the minimum age was raised to 16 soon afterwards).

Bookworm

by Lucy Mangan (Vintage, £8.99) Wonderful memoir of childhood reading, and of getting lost in fictional worlds, featuring most of the big children’s favourites. Would make a great Mother’s Day present for bookloving mums.

Tina Turner: My Love Story

by Tina Turner (Arrow, £8.99) The official autobiography of the legendary Tina—and another Mother’s Day possibility.

3. T he phrase “Aga saga” was coined to describe her novels.

Answer on p126 MARCH 2019 • 123

BOOKS

RD’S RECOMMENDED READ

Front-Line Surgeon A London surgeon details the horrors and surprising rewards of volunteering with the NHS in some of the world’s most dangerous war zones…

War Doctor: Surgery on the Front Line

by David Nott is published by Picador at £18.99

124 • MARCH 2019

too, about his motives, which he describes as “a strange mix of altruism and pure selfishness”. On the one hand, he’s always wanted to help people who need his help most.

On the other, there’s the “sheer thrill” that he, like many war reporters, gets from “living life on the edge”. Or at least that he used to—because the longer the book goes on, the more we become aware of the personal cost involved.

Given the extent of human suffering and cruelty it depicts, War Doctor might sound as if it’s merely

© A NNABEL M OELLER

M

ost of the time, David Nott is a surgeon in London.

But for several weeks every year, he goes wherever aid agencies need him and performs surgery on victims of war in the most dangerous places on Earth. His humanitarian work began in Sarajevo in 1993 and since then he’s been to virtually all the world’s war zones, carrying out operations—often in very basic conditions—on people who’ve been shot, blown up or maimed by shrapnel.

Now, in this hugely affecting book, Nott writes heart-rendingly about what he’s seen and done. He’s piercingly honest about his own reactions: not hiding his pride when a life is saved or his shame when things go wrong. And he’s honest,

READER’S DIGEST

a horrifying read. Yet, while some of the scenes are definitely hard to take, the overwhelming impression is of the heroism shown (but never boasted about) by Nott and his colleagues.

We join him here in 2013 operating on a gunshot victim in Aleppo, where hospitals are being targeted by the Syrian Air Force and where he also knows that Isis fighters are looking for Westerners to kidnap and kill. His fellow surgeons are Ammar—a Syrian by birth, now based in Manchester—and a local man called Abu Abdullah…

‘‘

Just as I was about to suture the pulmonary vein, the doors of the operating theatre burst open. I looked up to my right and could not believe my eyes as I saw six fully armed men wearing black combat fatigues and headscarves storm into the room. They were obviously Isis fighters, and the patient on the table was one of them.

My heart lurched and I froze stockstill—only my eyes moved as I searched out Ammar’s gaze, wideeyed like me above his surgical mask.

Oh, I thought, so this is how it ends. I felt a rush of adrenaline and I turned away, looking down at the floor. I could hear them doing something to their weapons, either putting in new magazines or playing with the safety catch. I looked around again, and as I did this I caught Ammar’s eye once

Four More Great Books By Doctors This Is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay The diaries of a junior doctor that’s become one of the more unexpected— but wholly deserved—bestsellers of recent years. Funny and rather alarming by turns.

The Citadel by A J Cronin Novel by the author of Doctor Finlay’s Casebook about the life of a doctor in the years before the NHS. Eye-opening about the way things used to be—and a great read to boot.

The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks Celebrated collection of astonishing case studies of what can happen when the brain goes wrong.

When Breath Becomes Air

by Paul Kalanithi Posthumously published, an extraordinarily moving account of how Kalanithi was diagnosed with cancer in his thirties and so found himself the patient rather than doctor.

Do No Harm by Henry Marsh Startlingly honest memoir of Marsh’s life as a brain surgeon, complete with the mistakes he’s made and the madder aspects of the NHS.

MARCH 2019 • 125

BOOKS

more—he shook his head almost imperceptibly—No, don’t say a word, leave this to me. The leader of the group came forward with his gun levelled at us.

‘This is my brother!’ he said aggressively, in English but with a very strong Russian-sounding accent.

Not just Isis, but Chechen Isis, who were renowned for being sadistic.

‘What are you doing to him?’

In English, Abu Abdullah told him that we were trying to save the man’s life, but we did not know who he was.

‘You should have asked us before taking our brother to surgery!’ was the reply. ‘Who are these people?’ he went on, indicating Ammar and me.

Abu Abdullah told him that we were the two surgeons. It was obvious that the man wanted me to speak, but Ammar piped up in his strongest Syrian accent to say that we were all surgeons simply trying to save the man’s life.

By this time I had begun to shake.

It was all I could do to keep my legs

And the name of the author is…

Joanna Trollope, who’s distantly related to Anthony, author of He Knew He Was Right. (For the record, she finds the label “Aga saga” “jolly annoying”.)

126 • MARCH 2019

“By this time I had begun to shake—it was all I could do to keep my legs from buckling under me” from buckling under me. I felt helpless and I was literally trembling with fear.

‘Who’s this?’ he said, pointing to me, and with this he started to walk around the table.

Abu Abdullah whispered in my ear, ‘Don’t say a word,’ before turning back to the Isis leader and saying, ‘This is the senior surgeon.

The senior surgeon is stopping your brother’s bleeding and must not be disturbed. If you disturb him he will not be able to save your brother’s life.’

The leader came up to the operating table and peered into the man’s wound to see what we were doing. The rest of the group milled around the room menacingly—a few sat on the floor while others leaned on equipment and made themselves comfortable. By this point, I was the very opposite of comfortable—it was now very difficult for me to proceed with this complex and delicate operation because I was shaking so much. For the first time in a very long time I decided to pray.” n

’’

Books

THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

Scottish novelist Peter May’s books have sold over 2 million copies in the UK alone. His latest book, a political thriller titled The Man With No Face is out now, published by Riverrun

The Adventures of Tintin

BY HERGÉ

The Tintin adventures had everything, but above all, comedy. It was present in the characters’ relationships, weaknesses and foibles, and their faces conveyed it all. Hergé could create a character’s expression with a single line. Then there were the exotic settings. There I was in my bedroom in Glasgow and these stories took me across every continent, and even to the moon. They inspired me to travel and tell stories set in exotic places—and to take readers with me!

The Beastly Beatitudes of Balthazar B

BY J P DONLEAVY

I was about 18 when I read this and it changed all my preconceptions about writing. I’d never read anything like it before. Being the son of an English teacher who wrote a text book on grammar, I was brought

up believing that if you wanted to write, you had to follow the rules. But J P Donleavy wasn’t bound by anything like that. He used language and sentence structure in a way that I’d never seen before, and it was beautiful to read. It gave me permission to break the rules.

A Moveable Feast

BY ERNEST HEMINGWAY

When I was an aspiring novelist, this book meant a lot to me. It’s the story of Hemingway’s life in 1920s Paris, when he was trying to establish himself as a writer. He was living in freezing flats, writing in cafés to keep warm, and yet it had an exotic feel to it and certainly contributed to my attraction to France. It was an extraordinary era. I took heart from the thought that in spite of the potential for misery and poverty, you could live an interesting life, and perhaps even become a success as a writer. n

FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/CULTURE

MARCH 2019 • 127

TECHNOLOGY

News Of The

Tech World

The annual Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas showcases the world’s best—and wackiest—new technology. Olly Mann picks his 2019 favourites…

ROLL UP, ROLL UP!

When I heard LG had unveiled the “world’s first rollable TV,” I thought, Hang on, didn’t my geography teacher used to have one of those? But the LG Signature 65R9 isn’t, in fact, a VHS on wheels, to be whizzed into class when Mr Davies is off sick.

Imagine instead a pop-up OLED telly that can be watched at three different levels of extension: Full View, for a luxe 65-inch 4K experience; Line View, for a discreet 20-inch rectangular screen (useful for displaying photos, as a clock, or controlling music); and Zero View, in which the TV is fully “rolled,” and looks to all the world like a metallic Olly Mann presents Four Thought for BBC Radio 4, and the award-winning podcasts The Modern Mann and Answer Me This!

128 • MARCH 2019

coffee table. But mostly, imagine your friends’ faces as you nonchalantly click the remote and it reveals its full glory. Swoon!

BIKE TALK

The growth of Amazon’s Alexa platform has inspired a gold rush for voice-controlled products—this year’s launches included lawnmowers, vanity mirrors and even toilets you can talk to. But the Cybic E-Legend—the world’s first e-bike to feature Alexa—has an actual raison d’etre. Cyclists want to keep their hands on the handlebars, rather than sending out texts, or searching for nearby coffee shops; and what better way to receive turnby-turn directions than via an onboard speaker? It hits Halford’s in the summer; expect imitators to follow.

SMALL BUT MIGHTY

Let’s face it, memory cards are a

NEWSCOM / ALA MY STOCK P HOTO

highly unsexy product category—but truly significant for photographers, filmmakers, and podcasters like me.

Their evolutionary pace has been astounding: at the turn of the century, SanDisk launched a 64MB SD card, and took much pride in the fact you could fit A WHOLE ALBUM OF SONGS onto their tiny bit of plastic. Fast-forward to 2019, and CES attendees shrug their shoulders as the Lexar 1TB memory card (£499) hits the shelves. Er, 1TB, guys!

One TERABYTE. That’s 1 million megabytes—enough for around 35 hours of 4K video recordings, or 2.6 million songs—on something that fits on your fingertip. Who’s sexy now?

SING-ALONGA-RING

Sphero, who created the BB-8 robot—a highly-desired Christmas gift for many a Star Wars nut—are back, with an intriguing musical toy.

Sphero Specdrums (£65, available April) are Bluetooth-enabled rings you put on your finger, which can interpret colour as they touch any object. So, the wearer can simply tap the kitchen table, or the carpet, or a jam jar, or a much-loved pet, and the connected app instantly plays out the corresponding musical note (or audio sample) they’ve pre-assigned to that colour. In other words, the world becomes your musical keyboard, and you learn coding along the way. I predict a hit! n MARCH 2019 • 129

FUN & GAMES

You Couldn’t Make It Up Win £30 for your true, funny stories!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk I RECENTLY ATTENDED A LUNCH

where two retired soldiers were invited as guest speakers to talk about their military experiences.

That evening, my six-year-old daughter asked what I'd done while she was at school and I explained that I'd had an interesting lunch with some soldiers.

Her face lit up as she asked, "Did you dip them in your egg?"

MATTHEW COX, Hertfordshire

overheard at the airport: “An elderly lady was returning from Amsterdam and showed me a small hand-painted pottery dish. She was bringing it back to give to her son, who she informed me was an amateur but talented potter.

When she was later asked if she had anything to declare she innocently replied, ‘All I bought was a little pot for my son’, to the astonishment of the customs officials.”

CATHERINE HISCOX, Hertfordshire

130 • MARCH 2019

“Happy Mother's Day, Mum!”

I LOVE GETTING MANICURES AS A TREAT. On my most recent visit I

was telling the beautician that I had just been to London, to see the Houses of Parliament.

“Oh, I haven’t heard of that one before,” she said. “Is that the new place in Soho?”

Before I had the chance to respond, her colleague on the nextdoor table leaned over and

CARTOON: GUTO DI AS

I HAD TO LAUGH AT THE CONVERSATION I RECENTLY

READER’S DIGEST

exclaimed, “It’s not a bar, you idiot— she means that place where the government lives!”

turning as I exclaimed to my friend, “There's a lovely little stool in there.”

VERONICA RIPLEY, Dumfries & Galloway

AMBER PHILLIPS, Essex

WHEN MY SON AND HIS WIFE BOUGHT THEIR FIRST HOUSE, the

garden was overgrown and I was tidying things up. While I was doing so, my young granddaughter said to her little sister, “I think Grandad Peter’s had an accident.”

“Why? What’s happened?” came the reply.

“Well, I heard Grandma Pat saying he just weed in the garden!”

PETER REDMOND, Hampshire

MY YOUNG SON NOTICED A DOCUMENT I had received from my

solicitors on the kitchen table, and asked in a suspicious tone why it had so many kisses on since it was clearly not from his Dad. I had to explain it was where I was supposed to sign my name in three places!

ANNA HAMMETT, Cheshire

MY TEENAGE SON WAS TRYING TO WIN ME OVER for yet another favour

and wasn't getting anywhere, so he gave up and commented grumpily, “If they removed the word ‘no’ from the English language, you'd be speechless.”

RYAN ROSWELL, Norfolk

OUR FOUR CHILDREN ASKED THEIR DAD what he would like for

his birthday. He thought about it for a moment and then replied, “Well, an iPhone would be nice, but I'll settle for 60 minutes of silence.”

AMELIE BARNES, Denbighshire

I NOTICED TWO BORED-LOOKING MEN PLAYING CHESS in the pub.

After about an hour I overheard one say to the other “Let's make this more interesting.”

His friend perked up and waited to hear what suggestion was in store.

His retort? “Let's stop playing!”

A FRIEND AND I WERE TRYING OUR HAND AT BUYING AND selling

VANESSA SMITH, Flintshire

antiques, and were on the lookout for interesting furniture.

We stopped for lunch in a country pub where I visited the bathroom and was rather taken with a chunky oak milking stool in the corner.

On my return to the bar, it took me a while to realise why heads were

WHILE I WAS WORKING AT A STATIONERY COMPANY a customer

asked for some note pads and I explained the various sizes available: 7x5 inches, 4x6 inches or 4x4 inches.

There was a long pause before they answered, “Which size is a square?”

S JENKINS, Yorkshire

MARCH 2019 • 131

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FUN AND GAMES IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR

Word Power Within the month of March, we greet the proverbial lion and lamb of weather. This timely quiz brings you other extremes and polar opposites. So go all out (but don’t overexert yourself!), then turn the page for the answers

BY E M ILY COX & H E NRY RATH VO N

1. nethermost adj.—A: coldest.

B: thinnest. C: lowest.

9. surfeit n.—A: utter wreck. B: more

2. extravagant adj.—A: all gone.

10. exorbitant adj.—A: shore’s edge.

B: mountain’s summit. C: far exceeding what is fair or reasonable.

B: irate. C: over the top.

3. acme n.—A: verge. B: highest point. C: overflow.

than needed. C: intense heat.

11. overweening adj.—A: arrogant.

B: too fond of food. C: severely strict.

4. culminate v.—A: fly into space.

B: hit the bottom. C: reach a climax.

12. optimal adj.—A: best. B: surplus.

C: out of sight.

5. acute adj.—A: intense, urgent.

B: tiny and insignificant. C: rather pretty, appealing.

13. radical n.—A: supreme leader.

6. precipice n.—A: very steep side of a cliff. B: earliest moment.

C: towering spire.

14. penultimate adj.—A: next to last.

7. superlative adj—A: outstanding.

B: excessive. C: final.

8. antithesis n.—A: the exact

opposite. B: end of time. C: an extremely negative reaction.

B: extremist. C: middle-of-the-roader.

B: most recent. C: cream of the crop.

15. maximal adj.—A: greatest possible. B: conflicting. C: the most important.

16. zealotry n.—A: extreme greed.

B: overdone fervor. C: an excess of noise.

MARCH 2019 • 133

WORD POWER

Answers 1. nethermost—[C] lowest. No one dares explore the nethermost dungeons of this castle.

a surfeit of nachos but no salsa or guacamole!

2. extravagant—[C] over the top.

what is fair or reasonable. The cocktails had exorbitant prices.

How can Vivian afford to throw such extravagant parties?

3. acme—[B] highest point. Going to

the top of the Empire State Building was literally the acme of our trip.

4. culminate—[C] reach a climax.

Nearly every scene with the Stooges in a cafeteria culminates in a pie fight.

5. acute—[A] intense, urgent. Joey has

an acute hankering for chocolate.

6. precipice—[A] very steep side of

a cliff. As Alex peered over the precipice, he developed a sudden case of acrophobia.

7. superlative—[A] outstanding. Despite Ella’s superlative effort to catch the ball, it always eluded her grasp.

8. antithesis—[A]

10. exorbitant—[C] far exceeding

11. overweening—[A] arrogant. I

enjoy the art class, but not Professor Prigg’s overweening attitude.

12. optimal—[A] best. Now is perhaps not the optimal time to pester the boss about a raise.

13. radical—[B] extremist. We knew

Julia loved her pup, but we didn’t realise what a radical she was until she tattooed its face on her back.

14. penultimate—[A] next to last. My penultimate finish in the marathon was my best time ever.

15. maximal—[A]

BINDLESTIFF: A vagrant

greatest possible.

“OK” is maximal praise from that old curmudgeon.

Alternative suggestions:

16. zealotry—[B]

WORD OF THE DAY*

“When the bin lid won't open”

exact opposite. The Beast from the East was the antithesis of our hot summer.

“When your spinning wheel needs oiling"

9. surfeit—[B] more

“A new form of Viagra from Germany”

than needed. We have 134

overdone fervour.

Zealotry gets TV attention, but it rarely brings compromise.

VOCABULARY RATINGS

10 & below: In the middle 11–13: on the rise 14–16: At the apex

*POST YOUR DEFINITIONS EVERY DAY AT FACEBOOK.COM/READERSDIGESTUK

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FUN & GAMES

Brainteasers Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles, then check your answers on p139

Uncle Frank’s poker set has chips worth £1, £3 and £8. What’s the smallest sum of money you could represent by two different but equalsized sets of chips? For example, you could make £9 with three £3 chips, or with a £1 chip plus an £8 chip, but those two sets are not the same size. (Here’s a hint: the two sets can’t have any denomination of chip in common.

Otherwise you could get a smaller sum by removing the chips that match.)

O

O

X

X X

O

O

O

O O

O

X

O X

O

X

X O

136 • MARCH 2019

O

O O

X

O

X

FOUR-BIDDEN

Place an X or an O in each empty cell of this grid so that there are no four consecutive Xs or Os appearing horizontally, vertically or diagonally. There’s only one solution; can you find it?

(THE CHIP S ARE DOWN ) DARREN RIGBY; (FOUR-BI DDEN) F RASER SI M PSON

THE CHIPS ARE DOWN

READER’S DIGEST

DOUBLE BACK

What’s the next digit in this sequence? Hint: consider the puzzle’s title.

(DOUBLE BACK) DARREN RI GBY; (CROSSED LETTERS) FRASER S IMP SON

21565282146236 A

1

2

1

0

2

B

1

1

1

2

1

C

1

2

1

1

2

2

0

2

2

0

A

B

C

D

2

0

1

2

2

1

2

0

2

1

0

2

0

2

2

1

0

2

2

1

CROSSED LETTERS

Place one of A, B, C or D into each of the 25 empty cells so that the quantities of letters in each row and column are as indicated by the numbers. Identical letters cannot be next to each other either horizontally or vertically.

LONG ODDS

Jade buys a ticket for a local sweepstake with a 1-in-1,000 chance of winning. Meanwhile, her partner buys a ticket for a national sweepstake with a 1-in-1,000,000 chance of winning. What are the chances that they both win their respective sweepstakes?

MARCH 2019 • 137

BRAIN TEASERS

CROSSWISE

Test your general knowledge.

Answers on p142

ACROSS

DOWN

1 Gossamer (6) 5 Like many Sherpas (8) 9 Affliction of cats and other fur-lickers (8) 10 Skin condition sought by beachgoers (6) 11 Science of logic, quantity, shape and arrangement (Abbr.) (5) 12 Tacit (7) 15 Owner of a business (10) 17 Inert gaseous element (4) 18 Sour (4) 20 Place for American children during the holidays (6,4) 22 Galilee native (7) 23 Spread out (5) 27 Small restaurant (6) 28 Elongate (8) 29 South American boa (8) 30 Person in the petroleum industry (6)

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 13 14 16 19 21 24 25 26

D-Day beach (5) Navy vessel (7) Spoiled child (4) World’s longest river (4) Autopsy (4-6) Wool fat (7) Private room on a passenger ship (9) Hollywood (10) Stub (5) Economic decline (9) Severe (7) Uppercase (7) Cub leader (5) Entreaty (4) Keen on (4)

READER’S DIGEST

Brainteasers: Answers

£50 PRIZE QUESTION

THE CHIPS ARE DOWN

£21, with seven £3 chips and with two £8 chips plus five £1 chips.

FOUR-BIDDEN

O

X

O

O

X

O

X

X

X

X

O

X

X

X

O

X

X

O

O

X

O

O

X

O

X

O

X

O

O

O

X

O

O

O

O

X

X

X

O

O

X

X

X

O

X

O

X

X

O

X

X

O

X

O

O

X

O

X

O

O

O

X

O

X

Answer published in the April issue Only one of the sets of five letters below is an anagram of a five-letter word in the English language.

Find the word.

LACBI TEMAN JECBI PECIN OACFR

DOUBLE BACK

CROSSED LETTERS

D

A

D

C

A

A

C

A

B

C

D

A

B

D

A

B

C

D

B

C

C

B

C

D

B

LONG ODDS

1 in 1,000,000,000 (one billion).

0

1. If you write the sequence backwards (as the title suggests) you’ll see powers of 2: (1)6, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512.

THE FIRST CORRECT ANSWER WE PICK WINS £50!* Email excerpts@ readersdigest.co.uk ANSWER TO FEBRUARY’S PRIZE QUESTION

NEWSPAPER AND THE £50 GOES TO… Sharon Wallis, Manchester

MARCH 2019 • 139

FUN & GAMES

Laugh!

Win £30 for every reader’s joke we publish!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk SUPERMARKETS NOWADAYS PUT

whatever labels on the product will make it sound healthy in order to sell it, then make up a ludicrously unrealistic portion size so I buy it.

That’s like Greggs saying, “this sausage roll only contains two per cent of your daily intake of calories… if you lick it.”

COMEDIAN JACK WHITEHALL

you almost won! Of all the losers, you came in first. You’re number one loser. Nobody lost ahead of you!

COMEDIAN JERRY SEINFELD

MY PARENTS GOT DIVORCED when I was seven days old.

So, like most children, my first word was “Mama”. But my next five were, “told me to tell you”…

COMEDIAN GIANMARCO SORESI

IF I WAS AN OLYMPIC ATHLETE,

I’d rather come in last than win the silver medal.

You win the gold, you feel good.

You win bronze, you think at least I got something. But if you win the silver, that’s like, “Congratulations,

Cramped kitties These cats managed to get comfortable in the most unlikely places… (via boredpanda.com)

140 • MARCH 2019

I’M NEWLY MARRIED AND I WENT

with my wife to get her name changed recently. I noticed that on her paperwork it said “Sex: F”.

I thought to myself, Man, that’s a harsh grade.

COMEDIAN WES SHATLEY

READER’S DIGEST

IT’S EASY TO REMAIN FAITHFUL to

your partner when you’re repulsive isn’t it?

I mean, I can’t even fantasise about another woman because that fantasy is always ruined by the fact that in the fantasy I would have to be there. It’s a massive turn-off.

this, 1981? We should have cordless babies by now!

SEEN ON REDDIT TOMORROW I TURN 40, WHEN I go

from someone who trips up on his children’s abandoned pieces of Lego to: “Did you hear about Philip? He had a fall.”

COMEDIAN PHILIP SIMON

COMEDIAN ROMESH RANGANATHAN

A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE has just

been sacked from the dodgems.

But don’t worry, he’s suing them for fun fair dismissal.

COMEDIAN PETER KAY

I HAD SOME CONSIDERABLE MONEY invested in a local cheese

shop, but it recently burned down.

I lost a lot of cheddar.

I also put some money into a new bakery. If that burns down I’m toast.

SEEN ONLINE

I’M PRETTY PASSIONATE ABOUT

my work, even though I sometimes have this realisation on the second day of shooting that I’m in a piece of s**t. So I can do two things: I can take the money, or I can try to be passionate. But the name of the boat is still the Titanic.

ONE OF THE WORST WAYS I

realised that I’ve already peaked in life was when I opened the time capsule that I buried at school and thought, thank God I put £5 in there.

SEEN ONLINE

ACTOR BURT REYNOLDS

I’M SHOCKED THAT DONALD TRUMP

I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY babies

uses Twitter more than Facebook considering that Facebook gives everyone their own wall. SEEN ONLINE

still have umbilical cords. What is

MARCH 2019 • 141

LAUGH

Shameful Secrets Twitter users share their weirdest secrets:

@ratchel78: “When I’m in the shower and a sad song comes on, I pretend I’m in a movie and I’m breaking up with someone in the rain.” @lindsspace: “I can’t tear bananas apart. It’s like they’re a family. If I see a banana alone, I put it next to a new bunch.” @SimonTobey: “Whenever I leave a store and don’t buy anything, I walk out super slowly so that nobody thinks I stole anything.” @asencio_ryan: “When I don’t like someone, I make an avatar of them on The Sims and make them live a hard life.” @Marie_Cunicella: “Sometimes when I’m cooking, I talk out loud to a fake camera and pretend that I have my own cooking show.”

I JUST HAD TO STOP YET ANOTHER angry

fish from attacking Dwayne Johnson.

How is it that I always find myself caught between the Rock and a hard plaice?

COMEDIAN PHILIP SIMON

AN ANGEL APPEARED TO A RICH MAN as he was dying.

“Please let me take one thing from the vast empire I made for myself with me,” the rich man pleaded.

The angel agreed that the man could take one bag with him. He stuffed all the gold bars he could into a very large suitcase.

When he approached the Pearly Gates, the man explained, “I was told I could bring this one bag with me.”

“That’s correct,” St. Peter replied. “But I must first look inside.”

As the man unloaded all the gold bars, St. Peter stood amazed and said, “Pavement!

You brought pavement!”

CATHERINE HISCOX, He r t f o rd s h i r e

AS A FAMILY, WE SIMPLY COULDN’T DECIDE whether to have Grandma buried

or cremated.

So we decided to let her live.

COMEDIAN GARY DELANEY

I HAVEN’T SLEPT FOR TEN DAYS. Because that would be too long. COMEDIAN MITCH HEDBURG

CROSSWORD ANSWERS Across: 1 Cobweb, 5 Nepalese, 9 Hairball, 10 Suntan, 11 Maths, 12 Implied, 15 Proprietor, 17 Neon, 18 Acid, 20 Summer camp, 22 Israeli, 23 Splay, 27 Bistro, 28 Lengthen, 29 Anaconda, 30 Oilman Down: 2 Omaha, 3 Warship, 4 Brat, 5 Nile, 6 Post-mortem, 7 Lanolin, 8 Stateroom, 13 Tinseltown, 14 Stump, 16 Recession, 19 Drastic, 21 Capital, 24 Akela, 25 Plea, 26 Into 142 • MARCH 2019

60 Stand-Up -Second

We laugh with the legendary satirical craftsman, Nick Revell

WHAT’S THE BEST PART OF YOUR CURRENT SHOW? I tell a true story

about when Vladimir Putin and I fought a bear together on Russian tundra. We’d been taking part in a Shamanic ritual with a tribe of Siberian nomads and were hallucinating on psychedelic reindeer urine—which is what they use as the central sacrament in their rituals—and we ended up having a wrestling match with a bear.

WHO INSPIRES YOUR COMEDY?

Everything can inspire it, you just look around you. Performers who’ve inspired me would be a long list but, Richard Pryor, Billy Connolly, Stephen Colbert, Victoria Wood... I think it’s people who’ve got an edge but also a sense of joy.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE ONE LINER? There’s an Irish comedian

called Michael Redmond who has such an absurd line, he says, “People often say to me, ‘Hey! What are you doing in my garden?’ ” WHICH SUPER POWER WOULD YOU HAVE? The power to emit silent,

disgusting farts which I could guide through telekinesis exclusively to people talking too loudly on their phones on public transport.

IF YOU WERE A FLY ON THE WALL, WHOSE WALL WOULD IT BE?

DO YOU FIND ANY PARTS OF THE COUNTRY TO BE FUNNIER THAN OTHERS? Glasgow is really fun to play

I’d like to be a fly on the wall in Boris Johnson’s house. Firstly because it would be interesting to hear what he really thought, and secondly because, given what flies eat, I’d never starve.

because they’ve got a very broad range of receptivity, so if they connect with you they’ll laugh right across the spectrum from really clever and satirical through to broad and silly.

Nick Revell is touring now with his Radio 4 series, BrokenDreamCatcher until April 17, 2019. Go to nickrevell.com for more information and tickets

FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/INSPIRE/HUMOUR

MARCH 2019 • 143

LAUGH

Beat the Cartoonist!

In the April Issue

I Remember: Chris Stein The photograoher and Blondie guitarist looks back on his remarkable life

Think of a witty caption for this cartoon—the three best suggestions, along with the cartoonist’s original, will be posted on our website in mid-March.

If your entry gets the most votes, you’ll win £50.

Submit to captions@readersdigest.co.uk or online at readersdigest.co.uk/fun-games by March 7. We’ll announce the winner in our May issue.

144 • MARCH 2019

Discovering Death Positivity The surprising movement that wants us to talk about death

Plus VAN GOGH’S BRITAIN Delving into the oftenforgotten years the painter spent living and teaching in London

© ANN A HANKS / FLICKR

Our cartoonist was left trailing in last place once again with his caption: “Humans must really hate the new year, huh!” Our witty reader Cliff Greenhill managed to scoop our prize with his hilarious caption: “When she said bangers tonight, I thought we were getting sausages.” Enter our competition online and you could be the next reader to steal our cartoonist’s crown.

CARTOONST: PETER A KING / GUTO DI AS

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