Reader's Digest UK Apr 2020

R E A D E R ’ S

HEALTH • MONEY • TRAVEL • RECIPES • FASHION • TECHNOLOGY

D I G E S T

APRIL 2020

| S M A L L A N D P E R F E C T LY

Nick Mason

ON PATIENCE, PARENTING & PINK FLOYD

I N F O R M E D

Rethinking Addiction

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NEW WAYS TO DEFEAT DEPENDENCY

| A P R I L

SAMUEL L

2 0 2 0

JACKSON A FRANK CONVERSATION WITH THE COOLEST CAT IN HOLLYWOOD

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Contents APRIL 2020

Features 16 IT’S A MANN’S WORLD Olly Mann finds himself unexpectedly confronted by the world of “manscaping”

ENTERTAINMENT

20 INTERVIEW:

SAMUEL L JACKSON

One of Hollywood’s biggest stars talks about his childhood, coping with success and his love for comic books

28 “I REMEMBER”: NICK MASON

The Pink Floyd drummer looks back on a lifetime of rock ‘n’ roll

p90 64

You don’t need to trek to the West End to see the best of Britain’s thespians

HEALTH

38 RETHINKING ADDICTION The new methods and programmes that are giving hope to the addicted and their loved ones

76

MICRO FARMING

How to cultivate your own land, no matter the size

OLDER AND WISER Meet the mature students who have chosen to return to their studies later in life

INSPIRE

56 THE JOYS OF

BEST OF BRITISH: LOCAL THEATRES

90

PERFECT PORTO Three magical days spent in Portugal’s second city APRIL 2020 • 1

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Contents APRIL 2020

In every issue 9 12

Over to You See the World Differently

46 50

HEALTH Advice: Susannah Hickling Column: Dr Max Pemberton

72

INSPIRE If I Ruled the World: Graham Coxon

116

FASHION & BEAUTY Column: Lisa Lennkh on how to look your best Beauty

MONEY Column: Andy Webb

118

ENTERTAINMENT April’s cultural highlights

FOOD & DRINK Tasty recipes and ideas from Rachel Walker

122

98 100

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE My Great Escape Cool neighbourhoods

102 106

110

114

127

HOME & GARDEN Column: Cassie Pryce

p72

BOOKS April Fiction: James Walton’s recommended reads Books That Changed My Life: Samra Habib

128

TECHNOLOGY Column: Olly Mann

130 134 136 140 143 144

FUN & GAMES You Couldn’t Make It Up Word Power Brain Teasers Laugh!

Trivia Quiz Beat the Cartoonist

APRIL 2020 • 3

DIGESTED N E W M O N T H LY P O D CA S T Each month Reader’s Digest navigate the woes and wonders of modern life, weighing in with leading experts on the everyday tools we need to survive and thrive in 2019.

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EDITORS’ LET TERS

In This Issue…

I am a firm believer that Samuel L Jackson is the coolest man in Hollywood. If his extensive filmography hasn’t proven that to you (Pulp Fiction, Star Wars, Avengers, Snakes on a Plane, Django Unchained to name but a fraction), then his iconic style (Kangol hats worn with shades and long pea coats over turtle necks) surely will.

We’re honoured that he graces the cover of our April issue, and if you aren’t a Jackson fan coming into our fascinating interview on p20, you certainly will be by the time you turn the last page. Speaking about getting clean, looking up to Sir Laurence Olivier, and his love of comic books, Jackson is reflective, funny and charming. And at the age of 71, he’s the ultimate proof that “cool” doesn’t come with an age limit.

I wish I could relive the moment when I first heard Pink Floyd. It was The Dark Side of the Moon, of course, and I’d never heard anything like it before: the theatrical compositions, the themes of universal importance, the madly expressive guitar work—I’d love to experience the sheer thrill of getting entranced by this music for the first time again. I couldn’t even imagine what must go on in the head of a cofounder of such a groundbreaking band. Luckily for me, Nick Mason sat down for a conversation with us and turned out to be as fascinating as the music itself: a motor racing enthusiastic and a certified pilot, he lives life like there’s no tomorrow.

Discover his thoughts on childhood, early Pink Floyd and meeting Jimi Hendrix on p28.

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Over To You LETTERS ON THE FEBRUARY ISSUE

We pay £50 for Letter of the Month and £30 for all others

LETTER OF THE MONTH

I welcomed the “Medical Mysteries” feature in the February issue. The problem of older, less-able patients being unable to adequately feed themselves in—what should be—the most protected and safest of environments (a hospital ward) is a startling truth. I work in a busy hospital and our weekly newsletter constantly puts out appeals for lunchtime volunteers to assist with feeding patients who are less able. While Max sees the growing numbers of malnourished patients as another sign of our society ignoring older people, I think it is much simpler than that.

There are simply not enough hands on deck with an overstretched NHS struggling to attend to the most basic of needs of patients, elderly or not. I don’t believe the intent is to ignore, it is just a hopelessly sad sign of a crumbling NHS system that is becoming more and more dependent on volunteers.

Ignorance isn’t the issue, lack of resources is.

Thank you for a well-timed feature.

— KAREN TAYLOR, Dorset

PLANT PARADISE I particularly enjoyed reading “Happy HomeGrowing” as I’ve decided to grow more things to eat on my kitchen windowsill. Last year, my children brightened it up with their dinosaur gardens and we enjoyed eating the cress they produced. Your idea to grow garlic in a baked bean can and a houseplant from a sweet potato sound fabulous and it has encouraged us to have another go at growing something a little different. And my children have planted old toys everywhere— in the hope that they will grow into “toyproducing trees”!

— JENNIE GARDNER, Somerset

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! Send letters to readersletters@readersdigest.co.uk Include your full name, address, email and daytime phone number. We may edit letters and use them in all print and electronic media APRIL 2020 • 9

OVER TO YOU

GREAT BARRIER GRIEF I was saddened reading “Battle For Survival” as the debate continues to rage over whether the Great Barrier Reef is dying. It was interesting to learn more about what is happening in Australia’s world-renowned marine park. I have relatives and friends living there and if you ask them if it’s worth saving, they will give you a resounding “YES.” The reef is one of the greatest and most splendid natural treasures, but mass coral bleaching events over the past three years have driven the loss of half the reef’s shallow water corals. This is on top of the loss of half the corals since the early 1980s, illustrating the perilous status of coral reefs globally. Given the scale of the destruction, this is an all-hands-on-deck moment. We need people to work together, apolitically; through partnerships and strategic action. Time is short, the problem huge. Of course it is worth saving.

— JOLENE COOPER , Devon

BLESS YOU I was drawn to your “Allergies On The Rise” feature and agree with the hygiene hypothesis. I suspect that the over-medicalisation of today’s society also plays its part. I was hospitalised at age four after having an extreme reaction to medicine for a childhood convulsion. After, I had horrendous urticaria (an all-over rash) every time I was given antibiotics.

Through necessity, I’ve found that many ailments get better with time and positive mental attitude, while minor infections respond to the ingestion of anti-fungal foods such as garlic and

onions. I can’t tolerate iron tablets but get on well with iron-rich foods such as lamb’s liver and spring greens.

Granted, some medications are life-savers, but others are prescribed too casually and the patient is left to deal with the side effects. Even an over-the-counter painkiller can cause constipation, while frequent use can cause rebound headaches and stomach upsets. There are fillers such as talc in most tablets and vitamin pills and the body has to deal with these toxins, sometimes on a daily basis. It’s not surprising that this can WHY ARE ALLERGIES result in allergies.

ON THE RI SE? — CAROL WARE, Somerset HEALTH

By Pascale Day

ACCORDING TO THE EUROPEAN ACADEMY OF ALLERGY AND CLINICAL IMMUNOLOGY, MORE THAN 150 MILLION EUROPEANS SUFFER FROM CHRONIC ALLERGIC DISEASES—AND THEY PREDICT THAT BY 2025, HALF OF THE ENTIRE EU POPULATION WILL BE AFFECTED. BUT WHY ARE ALLERGIES ON THE INCREASE, AND HOW CAN WE STOP THEM DEVELOPING FURTHER?

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Photo:© Getty Images/xavierarnau

From above, the Chouara-Tannery in Fès, Morocco looks like a large watercolour set. In the country’s former capital city, leather and furs have been dyed in these vibrant, colourful stone basins the same way—using pigeon excrement—for hundreds of years!

As beautiful to see as it is, the area is dominated by an overpowering odour.

The hides are immersed for several days in the bird-poo dyes before being removed to dry and are further treated with natural products like saffron, indigo or poppy.

15

IT’S A MANN’S WORLD

A Hairy Situation Olly Mann is unexpectedly initiated into the world of manscaping…

T

he onset of puberty was, as I recall, rather shocking.

One Tuesday, in the school changing rooms, I spotted Alex Cook—one of my more physically-advanced classmates —suddenly exhibiting a clump of blond armpit hair that had sprouted almost overnight. Sweet Lord, I thought—don’t let that happen to me!

Body hair vividly represented the end of childhood, and although 12-yearold me desperately wanted to be an adult, my target age was more like 41. Teenagehood, I realised, was not going to be my happy place. Puberty felt like a loss of control.

But then it happened to me, the Olly Mann presents Four Thought for BBC Radio 4, and the award-winning podcasts The Modern Mann and Answer Me This!

16 • APRIL 2020

hairiness, and I can’t honestly say I’ve given it much thought since.

I live in England, so, outside of a leisure centre, no living creature need ever bear witness to my body hair.

It might as well be in a chastity belt.

I never wax it or shape it or trim it, because to do so might imply there's some state in which I believe it might look handsome, even desirable, whereas in fact I actually consider body hair to be an unremarkable hangover from Neanderthal days; a mere quirk of evolution.

I neither love nor detest it. Perhaps I’d feel differently, were I one of those excessively hirsute men, sweaty coils bursting through collars and cuffs. Or indeed some hairless eunuch forever trapped in boyhood. But I’m merely averagely hairy, I’d say. The follicular developments of middle-age aren’t exactly welcome—I now own a nasal hair trimmer, and grimace as I clip my ear-hair. I also find the patches taking

illustration by Elly Walton

APRIL 2020 • 17

IT’S A MANN’S WORLD

root on my shoulders and lower back to be pretty gross. But, in general, I’m comfortable with my body hair.

Or, I was. Then my doctor advised me to shave it all off.

The prompt was a small rash of spots on my chest—I assumed maybe low-level acne or psoriasis, but Doc’s diagnosis was a minor fungal infection (a revolting term! Always makes me think of the mushrooms that clung to the bath in my student flat). His prescription was a daily dose of antibiotics—and, to monitor their efficacy, a full body shave.

Lacking the industrial hardware required for a full-body wet shave (and being too embarrassed to ask for my wife’s assistance), I opted for the ".1" setting on my trusty Panasonic beard trimmer. Not a terrible idea, as the guard prevented me from cutting myself, but the results were… not exactly beachready. Parts of my chest required multiple go-overs, like reversing the lawn mower round the back of the shed. My weighty clippers buzzing about the bathroom like sheep shears lent the proceedings a distinctly agricultural vibe. And I disposed of the unwanted hair by leaning over the 18 • APRIL 2020

sink and letting it drift down the plughole. This, it turned out, was a terrible idea. Our sink looked like a Turkish barbershop.

Panicked that I had unintentionally blocked the plug, I fished out the big bits and stuffed them in a plastic bag. It looked like I’d drowned a ferret and was trying to hide the evidence, but at least I had dealt with the chunks. Fingers firmly crossed, I turned on the tap. With grim inevitability, the sink began to overflow.

Clogged with mysterious hair.

Still naked, sweating now, worried about my wife coming home, I reached in vain for the plunger. In my heart I knew it would make no difference—we have a wide, posh sink with some sort of innovative vacuuming U-bend that resists all attempts to plumb it. I was going to have to call the experts.

I didn’t haggle on price. I paid cash. Yet I still felt the need to clarify to the plumber that the culprit was not, you know, "intimate" hair. He gave me a knowing smirk. "I’m on to you", his face seemed to say. "I know your game". A mortifying 30 minutes.

READER’S DIGEST

But that was six months ago.

Despite this unpromising beginning, I have, in spite of myself, become a regular hair-remover. Every eight weeks or so, I’ll trim off the new arrivals that have landed on my back, shoulders and chest. (These days, I stand over a towel, and shake it off in the garden. It’s a slick operation.) For a while afterwards I’ll feel noticeably colder, which is remarkable when you think about it, and I’ll also become aware of the strange sensation of chest-stubble rubbing up against my shirts.

But when my hair starts to grow again, I find myself wanting to tame it back down. It seems I prefer being less hairy, after all. The doctor will soon say I can stop removing my hair (the pills have worked their magic), but I think I’ll keep at it.

“STILL NAKED, SWEATING NOW, WORRIED ABOUT MY WIFE COMING HOME, I REACHED IN VAIN FOR THE PLUNGER” I’ve racked my brain as to why, having previously derided other men for taking an interest in maintaining their body-hair, I am now converted. I don’t think it’s to do with feeling manly or sexy or anything like that. I think—to borrow a phrase from the zeitgeist— it’s something to do with taking back control. n

Princely facts about the Purple One Prince had enough unreleased music in his vault when he died, that he could have made an album every year for the next century

Prince is the guitar player in Madonna's Like a Prayer. According to co-writer Patrick Leonard, he recorded copious music for the song, but most of it was cut During the week of July 27, 1984, Prince topped the film box office, singles and albums charts with his film Purple Rain and When Doves Cry respectively

Prince only contributed to the sound track of Tim Burton's Batman because he had a crush on star Kim Basinger. It worked—they dated for almost a year Where most rock stars might make outlandish food orders, Prince's favourite meal was always the same—spaghetti and orange juice SOURCE: NME.COM, CONSEQUENCEOFSOUND.NET, LITTLETHINGS.COM

APRIL 2020 • 19

ENTERTAINMENT

Samuel L Jackson:

“I’m Just Along For The Ride”

by Violet Wilder

At 71 years old, actor Samuel L Jackson is still one of the coolest cats in Hollywood. He opens up about how success, addiction and inspiration have shaped him

S

amuel L Jackson has a ritual that accompanies the release of each of his movies. Call it superstition, label it a debt to karmic alignment… whatever it is, it backbones a professional mantra that, up to this point, has reaped unquestionably winning results.

“I have this rule,” he leans forward in his seat, explaining in that, warm, gravelled purr. “Whenever I have a film opening, I know it’s going to make at least a thousand dollars.

I buy $1000 of tickets for my movie and I give them to my church—they give them to the kids or whoever. So I always know it’s going to make at least

a thousand dollars.” It’s difficult to imagine Jackson’s Hollywood dealings ever being driven by a need to hit a certain level, particularly in the 26 years since the bebop sermons of Pulp Fiction’s Jules Winnfield created a historic icon of “cool”.

Of course, with over 130 film credits and counting—which, inexplicably, have garnered just one Oscar nomination—Jackson is best known for his countless big screen smash hits. Jurassic Park, the Star Wars prequel trilogy and Marvel’s billion grossing Avengers franchise series have made the actor the highest grossing star at the box office, with his films making nearly $10billion.

APRIL 2020 • 21

With his wife of 40 years, LaTanya Richardson at the Shaft premiere Jackson is a keen golfer, and once described his hobby as “the perfect sport”

READER’S DIGEST

Not even hitting the big 7-0 at the end of 2018 has aided the star in quelling his insecurities when it comes to bulk purchase of cinema tickets. That is despite the burgeoning rebirth of the superhero genre having only hastened Jackson’s seemingly unrelenting rise to wherever it is the planet’s highest-grossing film star can ascend to… perhaps he knows.

“I’ve no idea,” he chips back. “I’m just along for the ride.”

Certainly, the husband of actress LaTanya Richardson, who has a grown-up daughter, Zoe, is at a breathtakingly fertile point in his career. In 2017, five movie projects— including Kong: Skull Island, The Hitman’s Bodyguard and XxX: Return of Xander Cage—came to fruition.

A further four arrived in 2018, including Avengers: Infinity War, the highest grossing movie of all time; and an incredible eight hit the big screen last year, three of which featured him as Nick Fury. He also reprised the role of John Shaft.

Perhaps, though, the most important role of past year was as army veteran Takoda in The Last Full Measure, a film about the darkness of war and the residue it leaves behind.

With his success repeating itself with bludgeoning regularity, it’s worth questioning what fuels someone who, some may say, should be reclining into a peaceful retirement.

“It’s not the same stuff that used to

“THE INDUSTRY HAS BECOME SUCH A DRIVER FOR MONEY, WE FORGET ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF ART” fuel me,” he quips.

Indeed, an appreciation of Samuel L Jackson is, ultimately, an appreciation of a number of very different lives intersecting and convening into the point we are at now. When you begin to gather together those various strands of success, excess, fortune (good and bad), it’s a wonder the 71-year-old actor is even here to tell the story.

The contradictions are many and varied. Jackson was well into his forties before any sort of creative recognition outside the US, yet his formative years were as a prolific stage performer, albeit one who often found himself cast aside when his productions made it to Broadway.

He was a hedonist when it came to relying on substances that would amplify the drama of his stage APRIL 2020 • 23

INTERVIEW: SAMUEL L JACKSON

“GETTING CLEAN WAS ABOUT STARTING. I HAD HELD MYSELF BACK FOR YEARS” presence, yet Jackson could also see the damage that alcohol, marijuana, LSD, cocaine and heroin were doing to his career.

“Getting clean was, ultimately, about starting,” Jackson says.

“I wouldn’t even say it was

restarting—I’d never gotten to the levels I knew I could achieve. I had held myself back for years, mostly on stage, and while I may have been fulfilled performance to performance, I didn’t feel that way about my career.”

That’s not to suppose Jackson’s time treading the boards wasn’t successful. He performed in Pulitzer Prize-winning productions, and the actor doesn’t do faux humility. He admits he produced art that was at times stirring and evolving. His issue with the decades leading up to him getting clean in 1991 was, ultimately, that he knew that at the point his focus became 100 per cent on the hit of the audience rather than the hit of a narcotic, he’d smash through the glass ceiling, never to return. It just took a while to get to that point.

“Those were times in my life when

READER’S DIGEST

I felt like I needed to validate myself by spending time with other people, drinking excessively or using drugs,” he says.

“It’s quite embarrassing. I was obsessed with my own fame. I would walk around the streets just to see how many people would recognise me. I mean, what kind of person does that? What kind of person feels like they need the attention to prove something to themselves?”

Jackson also admits he’d gaze with jealousy at the attention co-stars would receive. “It sounds absurd but I’d be wondering where my praise was, instead of living in the moment and looking at the bigger picture.”

Ultimately, sobriety sparked maturity, and with it, a body of work to rival any other male film star of

Primary Colours

the past three decades. It makes Jackson’s thousand dollar safety net all the more difficult to fathom, yet he’s clear in his logic.

“There’s a brutal arrogance to success where those who achieve it suddenly assume they are too good for the processes that got them there in the first place.”

Thankfully, Samuel L Jackson is an actor reassuringly unaffected by his status. He still visits his local comic book store twice a month to exact the same escapism he did when growing up as an only child in Chattanooga, Tennessee. He enjoys graphic novels—“Scalped, 100 Bullets, Preacher, I love those”—he has zero interest in celebrating his ego by writing an autobiography, and insists it’s luck that has kept him on top.

It helps, of course, that he is at a

E V E R E T T C O L L E C T I O N I N C / A L A M Y S TO C K P H OTO

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point where he doesn’t need success.

Indeed, when the aforementioned The Last Full Measure failed spectacularly to equate box office takings with a storyline driven by real life, historical importance and justice, the actor was relieved. “For me, I think it crystallises perfectly the good and the bad of the movie world. The bad is that such a perfectly judged, important, emotional and informative piece of drama perhaps didn’t get the payback it deserved; the good because, despite that, the story was told. And that in itself is infinitely more important than dollar signs.

“I think the industry has become such a driver for money that we can sometimes forget about the importance of creating drama and staging art—that in itself is the most important thing. We didn’t all get up on stage for the first time because we wanted to be paid, we did it because we wanted to be heard. And there, right there, is where we need to get back to sometimes. The money can wait a while—let the story come first.

“So in a way I am pleased it was watched by fewer people than it might have been, because at least I know that those people [who did see it] really wanted to be absorbed by this piece of film-making.”

For someone whose roles have frequently been driven by attitude, assertiveness and image, it’s interesting that Jackson’s own icon is a world away from his own roles.

“The thing about Sir Laurence Olivier was the body of work, not necessarily the work itself,” he explains. “As an actor you have to

“MONEY CAN WAIT—LET THE STORY COME FIRST” look at what others have invested and think about just how good someone must have been to do that for so long… particularly in theatre, because there’s a take you are repeating time and time again, and every take needs to be as good as the last.

“I remember when Olivier died in 1989. I was watching television and his face came up on screen. As they talked about his life and career, his face sort of morphed into all these different characters he’d played in all these different films.

“And I said to myself, ‘that’s the kind of career you should have.’

People should be able to look at you and remember all these things that you’ve done. Now, I hope I’ve done enough that anyone who sees my face during my obituary will be able to say that they have at least two films they enjoyed… two characters they can look at and say, ‘I remember that film, I remember that guy…’ ” n APRIL 2020 • 27

ENTERTAINMENT

28

Nick Mason

Drew Gurian/Invision/AP/Shutterstock / Dezo Hoffman/Shutterstock

I REMEMBER… Nick Mason (76) is a British drummer and cofounder of the legendary rock band Pink Floyd.

He talks about keeping the band’s legacy alive as the frontman for Saucerful of Secrets …SUMMER HOLIDAYS IN CORNWALL. We’re talking the late 1940s and early 1950s so it was the classic thing of beaches and buckets and spades.

We’d venture as a family there from Hampstead in London, which is where we moved to from Birmingham when I was about two

years old. My father was a documentary filmmaker who ended up working for Shell’s film unit, and that was based in London. …THE FESTIVAL OF BRITAIN. It was held in 1951 and I recall visiting the South Bank to see the sciencethemed Dome Of Discovery and the huge Skylon

I REMEMBER…

tower, which were really impressive for a seven-year-old to encounter.

I had such a happy childhood, living in a house that backed onto Hampstead Heath in a world when kids could still go off and play without their parents worrying about them.

…DAD LOVED CARS. He was what is now called a petrol head, having an old car and racing it, and I was taken to Silverstone as a very small boy. I eventually got into motor racing and collecting classic cars, so it’s stayed with me all my life. If I had to pick one word to describe Mum it

Top: 13-year-old Nick admires a Rolls Royce. Below: Packing up his drum kit ready to tour

30 • APRIL 2020

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would be “patient”. A lot of dad’s work was in the summer so she was in charge of myself and my three younger sisters, with Dad being in and out whenever he could. …WE HAD AN AFRICAN DRUM IN THE HOUSE. A musician friend of my parents gave me a pair of wire brushes and that’s where my love of drumming began. I’d played a tea chest bass but the drums were a lot more fun. Then someone invented rock ‘n’ roll and the rest is history. …MEETING ROGER WATERS AT REGENT STREET POLYTECHNIC WAS SLIGHTLY SCARY. It was the first day of term, when we were both studying to be architects.

I suspect he was somewhere at the back being rather aloof or trying to blag a cigarette off Rick Wright. …SOMEONE AT POLY HAD WRITTEN SOME SONGS AND NEEDED TO PLAY THEM FOR A PUBLISHER. He asked if anyone could play an instrument and Roger said he played a bit of guitar, I said I played a bit of drums and Rick played keyboards. So we learned the songs and the publisher said they were quite good but the band was truly dreadful.

That set something alight in us, a sense of That’s what you think! and that led to the formation of a band that had various names—like Sigma

Pink Floyd at Regent Street Polytechnic in 1964

6, the Spectrum 5 and the Tea Set— and line-up changes before we finally became Pink Floyd. …WE WERE PLAYING A GIG IN NORTHOLT WHEN THE PROMOTER ASKED US THE NAME OF THE BAND. We said the Tea Set and he answered, “Sorry, you can’t be the Tea Set cos they’re on now so we need something else.”

Syd Barrett had an RnB album featuring musicians called Pink Henderson and Floyd Council so he went “We’ll be the Pink Floyd Sound”. …OUR MOST MEMORABLE EARLY GIGS WERE AT UFO. It was an underground club in Tottenham Court Road that was unique to London because all the other venues around the country were regular APRIL 2020 • 31

I REMEMBER…

…JIMI HENDRIX WAS A LOVELY MAN. We supported him on tour in the late Sixties and he was charming, softly-spoken and absolutely not the wild man. And through him I became friends with his drummer, Mitch Mitchell, who was a big influence on my playing.

clubs and top rank ballrooms. We played there, Soft Machine played there, The Beatles would come down to see what was going on—it was completely unique. …WHEN OUR FIRST SINGLE “ARNOLD LAYNE” WAS BANNED FROM THE RADIO WE WERE OUTRAGED. If you listen to the words now [which reference crossdressing] it’s hardly likely to have a bad influence on the morals of young people, and what’s bizarre is that later “Walk On The Wild Side”— Lou Reed’s song that was definitely dodgy—was played on the radio.

There was no logic to it.

32 • APRIL 2020

…WE WERE THRILLED WHEN DAVE GILMOUR JOINED THE BAND IN 1968. I knew him anyway because he was a friend of Syd and Roger’s, a great guitar player and a great singer. Syd was beginning to crumble [from drugs and mental health issues] so Dave was sort of the salvation of the group. The remarkable thing is that Syd had been front man and the main writer but within three months we simply didn’t miss him. …JUGGLING WORK AND FAMILY WAS SOMETHING I DID RATHER BADLY, AT LEAST AT FIRST. I don’t want to go into detail, but my first marriage broke up and it was entirely my fault. It’s difficult to live that sort of life, travelling a lot and working odd hours; life is much simpler when you have some structure to it. …WE KNEW DARK SIDE OF THE MOON WAS THE BEST THING WE’D EVER DONE. But no one ever knows, however good the work, if the public will have the same opinion. It just seems that a number of things

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worked with that album. The timing was right, people were interested in more complex rock music, Roger’s lyrics were written by a 23-year-old but still relevant to a 60-year-old, and the technology at Abbey Road was sensational at the time. …PLAYING STADIUMS FOR THE ANIMALS TOUR WASN’T THAT BIG A JOLT. You go from clubs to theatres to arenas and finally into stadiums.

You’re always looking to move on because the bigger the venue the more you can mess around with the staging—with giant inflatables, pyramids or whatever—although in stadiums you run the risk of losing

20 per cent of the audience because they’re playing frisbee at the back or doing drugs. …SUCCESS ISN’T ALWAYS FUN. You’d have to be a very peculiar chap not to go through 50-odd years without sometimes thinking, What are we really doing here? Some of it is hard work.

[Being a rock star is] still probably the best job in the world but there are difficult times when you’re travelling and get stuck somewhere, or you spend a month in the recording studio, listen to it back and think, We can’t actually use this, it’s not good enough.

APRIL 2020 • 33

I REMEMBER…

…MOTOR RACING WAS A DREAM THAT CAME TRUE. With the help of an expert I started racing historic cars, loved it, carried on, then when we were recording The Wall outside England I got asked to join a team and run at Le Mans.

I’d never raced modern cars before but it was absolutely brilliant so I went back the next year and ended up doing five or six years of modern racing—although that had to be parked when we went back on the road and I went back to historics instead. My kids race and my wife races, my son-in-law is a professional, so it runs in the family, 34 • APRIL 2020

although I’ve sort of said I’m stopping myself. …I LEARNED TO FLY BECAUSE I WAS FRIGHTENED OF FLYING. I was talking to a friend of mine who runs a flying circus and is also a pilot and I said, “The only trouble with touring is having to fly”.

His reply, which turned out to be the most expensive therapy on the planet, was “You need to learn to fly yourself”. My first lesson was a trip to Paris and I ended up doing five or six years flying fixed-wings before Dave Gilmour and myself shared various interesting old aeroplanes. Then he

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band that’s famous for not getting on to be able to work together for a good cause rather than mega-money.

Nick with his band, Saucerful Of Secrets

…DOING TRACKS FROM THE EARLY YEARS AS NICK MASON’S SAUCERFUL OF SECRETS HAS BEEN BRILLIANT. We started out doing three nights in a pub, then Dingwalls in Camden and people really liked it so I thought Right, we’ll carry on with this.

I assumed there’d be an audience for the old stuff but I underestimated the fan base for it. n

took my wife for a flight in a helicopter, she loved it and we both learned how to fly them ourselves. She does it for fun and I do it for therapy!

As told to Simon Button

…GETTING PINK FLOYD BACK TOGETHER FOR LIVE 8 WAS TERRIFIC. I never thought it would happen but Bob Geldof is incredibly persuasive and the timing was perfect. I was so pleased we did it because it was a great moment for a

Nick Mason’s Saucerful Of Secrets: Live At The Roundhouse is released on vinyl, CD/ DVD and Blu-ray on April 17th. The band tour the UK and Ireland from April 23 to May 16, followed by Europe from May 18 to June 5. For more information visit thesaucerfulofsecrets.com

Unsolved mysteries…

In 1876 the “Kentucky Meat Shower” saw chunks of fresh meat fall from the sky onto a farm. To this day it’s unexplained. A piece of the meat is kept in a jar at Transylvania University.

In 1518 a bout of “dancing mania” took over 400 people in Strasbourg, who danced for days without rest, many eventually dying from a heart attack, exhaustion or stroke. It has never been fully explained.

“The hum” is a persistant, low frequency humming or rumbling sound heard by around two per cent of people worldwide, though its objective existance has never been proven.

SOURCES: EU.COURIER-JOURNAL.COM, THEGUARDIAN.COM, NEW SCIENTIST

APRIL 2020 • 35

• ADVERTORIAL

MENINGITIS ADULTS CAN GET IT TOO

Now Mike is backing Meningitis Now’s ‘Adults Get it Too’ campaign, to raise awareness of the increased risk of this devastating disease among older adults.

“I went up to bed a little before my wife, Meg. I had been below par all day. I didn’t join my running group in the morning and cancelled my volunteering stint at the local theatre.

“My wife came upstairs to find me sprawled over the bed, sweating profusely and unconscious. She called the emergency services.

“This call certainly saved my life. How do you repay a debt like that? I was in a coma and on a ventilator at the Princess Royal University Hospital in Farnborough.

I came to six days later.

MANY AFTER-EFFECTS

“I was profoundly deaf and wheelchair bound. My eyesight was impaired, and I was doubly incontinent. My legs ‘fizzed’ all the time.

“I was in hospital for seven months, the last 20 weeks being in rehab at Orpington Hospital.

Seventy-fouryear-old Mike, from Kent, fell ill with meningococcal meningitis in September 2018.

“The NHS were superb. They saved my life and have worked very hard on my rehabilitation. But it wasn’t enough. I needed more time in rehab and have gone backwards since leaving.

BACK HOME

“Since coming home I’m dependent on carers. This has been good for me but not for my wife and 28-year-old autistic son, Andrew.

“I’ve been told I will never walk again but I’m hoping that physio will help me get more independence.

“My worst problem seems to be neurological. My ‘fizzing’ legs have worsened and feel like they are burning and are about to explode.

“But I am lucky to be alive and see and hold my granddaughter Lexi born to my youngest daughter Maria and spend more time with family, with visits from my sister and nephews from Australia soon.

IMPROVE MY PHYSICAL CONDITION

“I hope to really get to grips with physio to improve my physical condition. Although I

feel I’ve gone backwards since the attack, I am alive and kicking and positive about the future.

“I want everyone to know that adults can get it too. This is the second time for me, so I know this especially well. Twentyfive years ago, I had viral meningitis from which I made a full recovery, but this time I have not been so lucky.

POSITIVE ABOUT MY FUTURE

“Meningitis has been a devastating experience, and I have lost a year of my life. But I’m still here and very positive about my future.

MENINGITIS – ADULTS GET IT TOO

Many people still believe that meningitis only affects babies and young children; this is not the case. Anyone can be affected by meningitis – but older adults, especially those over 65, face an increased risk, as our immune systems weaken as we get older.

Call 01453 768000 or visit www.meningitisnow.org/adults to request an awareness pack that includes a signs and symptoms card, leaflet and window sticker.

Claudia Christian battled alcoholism for years before she found the right programme

TIME TO RETHINK ADDICTION There is new help for the addicted and for their loved ones

by Lisa Fields

39

RETHINKING ADDICTION

W

hen Hollywood actress Claudia Christian was in her twenties, she had an unremarkable relationship with alcohol. By her late thirties, however, she was drinking too much and had become fixated on alcohol, craving it even when she abstained for months at a time. She tried Alcoholics Anonymous, psychotherapy, hypnotherapy and inpatient rehab centres, but nothing helped.

“My parents didn’t know what to do,” Christian says. “I got constantly bombarded with ‘Why can’t you just stop?’ Nobody could understand [that I was] being consumed by a compulsive disorder.”

While her family judged her and many friends abandoned her, Christian’s best friend, Holly Evans, remained supportive.

“She was basically just trying to hide it all the time,” Evans says.

“Sometimes she wanted me to be like a policeman, and I was—then in the glove compartment, [I’d find] a bottle of something. [And] I thought, Well, maybe there’s something I can do to fix the situation. [But] nothing that I did worked.”

traditional programmes such as AA. But the time to rely on decadesold models is over. Today, newer, research-proven treatments are available, offering more, and more effective, help for the addicted and their family members and friends.

“They’re using stuff that was done in the 1940s, 50s and 60s, for crying out loud,” says Robert Meyers PhD, Associate Research Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of New Mexico’s Centre for Alcoholism, Substance Abuse and Addictions. “Do you go to a doctor and say, ‘Operate on me the same way they did in 1950?’ No, you wouldn’t.

That’s crazy.”

There are currently 32 million Europeans with alcohol dependence, 1.3 million high-risk opioid users, and millions more use cocaine, marijuana and other illicit substances. About 1.2 million people in the EU received treatment for illicit drug use in 2017.

Much of that treatment relied upon

In decades past, if your relative had an addiction, you were instructed to offer harsh words with “tough love” to make them quit. They were expected to muster willpower to stop drinking or taking drugs and abstain indefinitely. In reality, harsh words could lead to arguments

40 • APRIL 2020

New Thinking

Photos by Dustin Snipes

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Claudia's friend Holly has supported the actress throughout her alcohol addiction

and estrangement. When someone relapsed, they were considered too morally weak to combat addiction, and relatives often blamed themselves because their efforts didn’t help.

“WE ARE DEALING WITH A CHRONIC RELAPSING DISEASE. WE DON'T GIVE UP ON PEOPLE” Today, addiction is recognised as a disease, and treatments include medication and newer thinking.

Opioid-substitution treatment is the most common treatment for

opioid addiction in the EU, because it’s proven to reduce harm and the risk of overdose. And it also helps to reconnect substance abusers with their families. Relapse is recognised as part of addiction, so people aren’t chastised; they’re encouraged to continue treatment.

“We assume that we are dealing with a chronic relapsing disease, so we don’t give up on people,” says Dr João Castel-Branco Goulão, director general of Portugal’s Addictive Behaviour and Dependency Intervention Service in Lisbon. “If they don’t achieve success in the first event or the second and again, there’s no limit.”

Relatives are encouraged to provide love, support and kind words, not harsh criticisms, since they’re dealing with an illness, not a moral failing.

APRIL 2020 • 41

RETHINKING ADDICTION

“Family members and friends play an important role in the decision to enter treatment,” says Dr Dagmar Hedrich, lead scientist in harm reduction with the European Monitoring Centre for Drugs and Drug Addiction in Lisbon. “Self-referral, including referral by family members or friends as opposed to doctors, continues to be the most common route into specialised drug treatment in Europe,” she says. “It accounted for more than half of those entering such drug treatment in 2017.”

Different programmes offer valuable knowledge to family members who want better interactions with, and greater understanding of, relatives with an addiction.

“Nobody wants to become an alcohol abuser, or a heroin abuser— they just don’t know how to stop,” Professor Meyers says. “We can help the family member learn different ways to interact.”

The following treatments may help you help loved ones.

CRAFT The Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) was created

by Professor Meyers. He was inspired to make help available to the partners of addicted individuals while he was doing couples counselling; he realised that women had some influence over partners who drank or used drugs, and he wanted to leverage that sway to help those people enter treatment.

42 • APRIL 2020

CRAFT teaches you to interact positively and empathetically without shouting or judging, to provide positive reinforcements for sober behaviour, to ignore negative behaviour and to suggest treatment when your relative would be the most receptive.

“TODAY MY SON FEELS SECURE AND TRUSTS ME BECAUSE I DON’T BLAME HIM” If your husband comes home sober, spend quality time with him. If he comes home drunk, says Professor Meyers, author of Get Your Loved One Sober, "We teach them to say, ‘I’m glad you’re home safe. I love you, but I feel bad when I see you like this, so I’m going to go to bed, and maybe we can talk tomorrow.’ And just kind of walk away.”

Family members using CRAFT get loved ones into treatment 65 to 75 per cent of the time, compared to 12 per cent for AA participants, according to Professor Meyers’ research.

CRAFT also addresses the low selfesteem, anxiety and depression that many people feel when relatives drink or use drugs. You realise that your relative’s addiction isn’t your fault.

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You’re encouraged to live life more fully, doing things that you enjoy.

“Under CRAFT studies, we found even a year after family members had been through the programme, they lowered their depression, their anxiety, their anger,” Professor Meyers says.

There are trained CRAFT therapists in Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, England, Scotland, the Republic of Ireland, Wales and the Scandinavian countries.

SMART Recovery L Hein, 50, of Søborg, Denmark, felt like a failure when she learned that her then teenage son was using marijuana. Both her father and exhusband had been drug users, and she hadn’t been able to prevent her son following. She says, “I couldn't manage it. I got very ill because of all the stress, and I lost my job and I needed to get help.”

She found SMART Recovery (SelfManagement and Recovery Training) where the Family and Friends meetings spoke to her. The program combines CRAFT with SMART Recovery, which teaches relatives to stay motivated, cope with negative feelings and live a balanced life, based on research-proven principles like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and motivational enhancement therapy. Relatives learn to apply those lessons to their lives.

“Relatives don’t know what to

do, so they scold people, they beg, they try anything to help them get out of the problem, but it’s often contradicted,” says Bendt Hansen, chairman of SMART Recovery Denmark in Copenhagen. “Family and Friends helps them to get out of the habit of playing policeman.”

Hein learned to manage her anger and to speak calmly to her son. Eventually, he saw a psychologist about his drug use.

Today he’s 23, works full-time and sees his mother regularly.

“We have a good relationship,” she says. “My son trusts me—he feels a certain security with me today, because I don’t blame him.”

SMART Recovery International is an organisation of support groups that helps people overcome any addiction, as well as provide support for family members and friends.

They can be found in centres across across Europe.

5-Step Method After researchers in England in the early 2000s studied the experiences of family members whose relatives had addiction, they created the 5-Step Method to help them cope with stress and receive support.

A trained professional listens to what you’ve endured because of your loved one’s habit, provides relevant information about the addiction, helps you figure out ways to better cope, discusses available social APRIL 2020 • 43

RETHINKING ADDICTION

support and decides whether you need additional help.

“Often, family members report using less emotional confrontation, having increased awareness of the relative’s misuse problem and of their own life and needs,” says Alex Copello, PhD, Honorary Professor of

THE STIGMA OF ADDICTION STILL STOPS INDIVIDUALS GETTING THE HELP THEY NEED Addiction Research at the University of Birmingham and one of the 5-Step Method’s creators.

The method may help lower your stress levels, improve your relationship and guide your relative towards treatment.

“We know from our research and clinical experience that family members can influence the process, for example by encouraging the person to seek help earlier,” Professor Copello says. There are programmes in England and Ireland.

ContrAl and Sinclair Methods ContrAl Clinics combine the Sinclair Method—the use of medication to counteract cravings for alcohol— with cognitive behavioural therapy to change drinking habits. The aim of 44 • APRIL 2020

the programme isn’t abstinence but getting people to drink less, and 78 per cent of people succeed. People are prescribed an opiate-blocker and are advised to take it before drinking alcohol, because it dampens the desire to drink to excess. They also see a doctor and psychologist eight times over six months to learn strategies to help them drink less.

People drink more responsibly and lead more productive lives.

“It’s much easier for the customers to engage in a treatment method like ours when they know that, ‘I don’t have to quit completely just now,’” says Jukka Keski-Pukkila, CEO of ContrAl Clinics in Helsinki.

Your loved one may bring you to one or two sessions so you can learn how to be supportive and why abstinence isn’t necessary.

“The traditional way of thinking, when you are talking about alcoholuse disorder, is so deep in people’s minds that they can’t think that it’s possible to just reduce and get it into control,” Keski-Pukkila says. “We try to teach the loved ones to support the patient as much as possible and not to judge.” ContrAL clinics are found in Finland, Canada and the US. They offer their services to people from all over Europe, in Finnish, English and Russian.

Plenty of research focuses on addiction, and a number of alternatives to 12-step programmes

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are available, but millions are still affected by addiction.

Experts recognise addiction as a disease, yet longstanding social stigma keeps many people from receiving the support and treatment they’d get if they had cancer, diabetes or another favourably viewed condition, partly because society tends to blame people with addiction.

“There are many lifestyle components with, say, type 2 diabetes that have to do with controlling your diet, testing regularly, getting enough exercise—and there is a lot of non-compliance, which leads to bad outcomes medically,” says Elise Schiller, the US-based author of If Your Heart Would Listen: Losing My Daughter To Heroin. “Yet we would never say, ‘You’re not worth treating,’ or, ‘This is your fault.’”

Experts believe that greater access to programmes serving people with addiction and their relatives could impact the effect of addiction on individual families and society as a whole.

“The issue with the alcohol and drug problem around the world is that we don’t have enough resources to help them get sober, to hire more therapists and train them in the positive programmes,” Professor Meyers says.

Increasing the reach of programs aimed at relatives would help, but so would policies recognising that people relapse or may not be

ready to quit, and which offer safe consumption sites with clean syringes and medical professionals who can reverse overdose or recommend treatment. Offering medicationassisted treatment to those who are ready would also be helpful.

Ten years ago, Claudia discovered the Sinclair method and used prescription medication to reduce her cravings for alcohol. Today, she abstains from alcohol but knows that she can take an opiate-blocker before drinking, should she desire that. She now runs an international nonprofit organisation to publicise the effects of the Sinclair method, and her relationships with her parents and her best friend have improved.

“I don’t feel like I have to be the police anymore,” Evans says. “She’s taking better care of herself, [and] she’s got her [act] together.” n APRIL 2020 • 45

HEALTH

OVEREATING— HOW TO GET OVER IT As a nation we’re getting bigger and munching more.

But there are effective ways to curb your appetite and eat only as much as you need

Susannah Hickling is twice winner of the Guild of Health Writers Best Consumer Magazine Health Feature 46 • APRIL 2020

Begone, low-nutrition snacks!

That means ice cream, sweets, crisps, biscuits, cakes and any other salty or sugary snacks you graze on between meals. You can learn to live without these unhealthy—and fattening—additions to your diet, but we’ve got a tendency to eat them compulsively. Try to make it your habit only to eat them when offered at social events, or as a special treat.

Shell out on nuts The fact of the matter is that compulsive eating is often about

boredom, stress and other issues.

But nuts in their shells require you to crack them open and extract the contents, making it a therapeutic and distracting activity. What’s more, they’re healthy. Invest in a good nutcracker and go for plain walnuts, almonds, pecans, Brazils or hazelnuts.

Never stop at a shop to buy a snack Get out of the habit of popping into the baker for a Danish or a pasty, forget buying a chocolate bar at the newsagent’s when you’re there for a paper, resist that pizza slice from the street stall in town. This kind of impulsive, unhealthy eating is a big contributor to your waistline.

Be a picky eater Being fussy was the pet hate of relatives when we were children, but as an adult it’s good to be a bit finicky. If it doesn’t look good, don’t eat it, and forego the unappetising leftovers.

Leave half an hour between main course and dessert Having a break will give your brain time to receive the fullness signal and make you more likely to refuse the sweet stuff. And, in fact, as soon as you feel the first signs of satiety, remove your plate from the table.

That will tell your brain that food time is over.

Make yours a small Put an end to supersized portions.

You won’t be missing out—today’s small was the medium or large of a few decades ago. Select or serve yourself a modest portion and eat or sip slowly, savouring the flavours.

Before you know it, small will feel just right. What’s more, ordering the smaller size leads to wearing the smaller size!

Distract yourself When you find yourself hunting down food, even though you’re not even peckish, do something else for 20 minutes. Opt for something that engages your brain as well as your hands, such as playing the piano or writing a letter. If you think you really are hungry, set an alarm for 20 minutes’ time and if you still want to eat when it rings, fine. If not, the urge will have passed.

Keep your appetite in check Have something healthy about an hour before dinner to stop you pigging out when it arrives. Nibble on a handful of almonds, a piece of fruit and a small chunk of cheese, or a yoghurt. Do the same when you’re going out to eat, so that you resist the temptation of the bread basket. n

For more weekly health tips and stories, sign up to our newsletter at readersdigest.co.uk APRIL 2020 • 47

H E A LT H

Power Plants Plants enhance your sense of wellbeing and improve concentration, but did you know that some also help purify the air around you?

Our homes are full of benzene and formaldehyde. Benzene is found in building and decorating materials such as paint and adhesives, in cigarette smoke and more often in houses with an attached garage than those without. Meanwhile, formaldehyde is one of the most common pollutants in our homes, present in household staples as varied as MDF, soap, air freshener, tissues, toilet paper and shampoo. High levels of both are thought to be carcinogenic at worst, and at best cause eye and nose irritation.

48 • APRIL 2020

But some common, easy-tocultivate house plants can help clear the air—literally. The Boston fern, Nephrolepis exaltata “Bostoniensis,” which helps clean benzene and formaldehyde, loves low light and humidity, so the bathroom is the perfect place for it. The Bamboo palm, Latin name Rhapsis excelsa, not only helps remove the same two pollutants, but also keeps indoor air moist and stops rooms drying out.

This makes it ideal for your bedroom.

The handsome Rubber plant Ficus elastica is another air purifier, removing formaldehyde. It will be happy in rooms where there is little natural light. Its large leaves allow it to absorb large quantities of contaminants.

Easy-to-grow Spider plants, Chlorophytum comosum, meanwhile, are not only useful for mopping up formaldehyde and benzene, but also have a role in removing carbon monoxide—high levels can cause dizziness, headache and, long term, increase your risk of heart disease.

That said, you should always have a CO alarm, as carbon monoxide poisoning can be fatal and no amount of spider plants will clear it.

And aloe vera plants have healing as well as air-cleaning properties. They have been used to treat skin problems for centuries. Snap off a leaf and the juice it contains can soothe burns and eczema. It will love the bright light on your kitchen windowsill. n

READER’S DIGEST

Ask The Expert: Snoring Professor Bhik Kotecha is an ear, nose and throat surgeon who specialises in snoring and sleep apnoea How did you become an expert on snoring?

It was accidental! I was a senior registrar at the Royal National Throat, Nose and Ear Hospital with an interest in middle ear surgery.

My boss asked me to apply for a consultant’s job, spending 12 months helping him in a new sub-specialty, sleep medicine. That was 25 years ago. I loved it!

What are the main causes?

Between 45 and 50 per cent of adults snore. It could be simple snoring or a symptom of a serious problem, such as severe obstructive sleep apnoea.

There may be a problem in the nose, for example, nasal polyps or hay fever; in the throat, like large tonsils; or the back of the tongue might be bulky. Commonly it’s a bit of everything. There are aggravating factors—congenital abnormalities like a small jaw, or obesity or alcohol intake.

Why is it important to treat it?

If you have simple snoring and your partner is happy, you can leave it alone. But untreated severe sleep apnoea brings

increased risk of high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, dementia, Type 2 diabetes and accidents. You stop breathing and wake up gasping for breath. In the morning you might feel unrefreshed, have a headache and excessive daytime sleepiness.

What can people do to lessen or cure snoring?

Smoking, drinking and weight should be reduced. Not sleeping on the back makes it better. Treating hay fever with antihistamines might help.

Sprays and oral appliances you can buy only work in selected cases, so it’s important to get assessed.

What can doctors do?

Your GP can refer you to the nearest sleep clinic. Patients with moderate to severe sleep apnoea, should be given treatment with nasal CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure), which has to be used every night with a mask on your face attached to a machine. But compliance is low. After that, there are surgical alternatives. n For more information, visit snoringmanagement.co.uk APRIL 2020 • 49

HEALTH

“P Numbers Over Nurses Dr Max laments today’s focus on numbers and budgets over nursing staff and care Max is a hospital doctor, author and columnist. He currently works full time in mental health for the NHS. His new book, The Marvellous Adventure of Being Human, is out now 50 • APRIL 2020

lease don’t,” I said into the darkness.

I could just make out the silhouette of Ruth’s head against the office door. I’d been trying to doze, unsuccessfully, while sitting in a chair. Ruth shook her head.

“It’s too late,” she said, wearily.

I turned on the sidelight so I could see her face properly in the dark where we’d been sitting, in between seeing patients on a night shift. “I’ve already written my resignation letter,” she explained, sighing heavily and adding, “It’s a shame, I love my job, and I love working here”.

This was a disaster. Ruth was one of the best nurses I’ve ever worked with. She’s also a single parent though, and as the Trust had recently merged two services, it meant a significant alteration in the hours she works. Realistically, she couldn’t work the hours she was now required to and be there to pick her children up from school. She had to make a choice, and she chose her family.

Fair enough. But I couldn’t help thinking that if I were a manager, I’d do everything in my power to keep her working in the hospital.

“They’re not bothered are they? They don’t care about us lot, they’re just bothered about targets,” she said.

The hospital where we worked was massively in debt and consistently failed to meet the targets set down by the government. From this perspective, it was failing. Of course, objective measures like this are important. But nowhere in the targets is there a provision for evaluating the most important thing in a hospital, the one thing that can really make an impact on the patient’s experience of health care: the staff.

The state of the Trust, the targets they meet and how they balance the books, are not a reflection on the quality of clinical staff that work there or their work. It’s not an assessment of whether someone will hold your hand and stay with you when you’re upset, or explain your diagnosis in a kind, compassionate way, or make you a cup of tea while you wait for a scan. It doesn’t take into account the staff staying past their shift because they’re worried about a patient or asking if you want a blanket late at night. The small, insignificant things that signify something far larger—people who care about their patients. This surely, must count for something.

Ruth worked in one of the worst performing hospitals in the country, according to the league tables, and yet she was one of the best nurses I’ve ever worked with. In fact, the hospital seemed to attract good nursing staff, but clearly this wasn’t reflected in the way

that it was assessed. Increasingly the focus has shifted away from the people working in the health service, and more and more onto the way it’s managed and the targets that are achieved. There’s a preoccupation with numbers over people. Understandably, patients feel that because their hospital can’t

“THEY’RE NOT BOTHERED ARE THEY?

THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT US LOT, THEY JUST CARE ABOUT TARGETS”

balance its books, the care they must be receiving is inferior. It’s easy to forget, but being in the red doesn’t mean the staff that work there don’t care. It’s an assessment of the managers, not the clinical staff. The irony is that I have worked for one of the best performing Trusts and one of the worst performing Trusts and there were disinterested and rude staff in both, and there were fantastic and caring staff in both. On Ruth’s last day, I felt immeasurably sad, not just because the hospital was losing a brilliant nurse. I felt sad because none of the managers knew it, or indeed seemed to care. n APRIL 2020 • 51

HEALTH

The Doctor Is In Dr Max Pemberton Q: I’ve never been one for creaky bones, but recently my neck has started making loud cracking noises when I turn it unexpectedly or have been sitting stationary for a while. I still have full mobility in my neck, but I do get the occasional arthritis in my fingers and feet.

Could this be related?

—John, 63 A: These kind of noises are often called “crepitus” and they are quite common in the neck, particularly in people over the age of 50. They are usually nothing to worry about and are the result of wear and tear to the muscles and joints in the neck.

These kinds of creaks and cracks often occur in other joints in the body too—in people’s knees, for example, when they stand up from squatting —but they tend to be more noticeable in the neck for the simple reason that they occur nearer the ear so we can hear them clearer.

This wear and tear to the neck joints though 52 • APRIL 2020

can sometimes cause pain or discomfort in the neck or shoulders or a feeling of stiffness, called cervical spondylosis. In severe cases it can even cause headaches that originate from the back of the neck.

Painkillers like paracetamol or ibuprofen can help with any discomfort in the short term.

However, for longer term relief, exercise can ease the symptoms of cervical spondylosis and your GP can refer you to a physiotherapist for a further assessment and to give you specific exercises to help your neck.

Your GP might also send you for an x-ray to see the extent of the wear and tear. You should also see your GP if the pain gets worse, you notice a lack of coordination, weakness, pins and needles or heaviness in your arms or any problems with walking as these can be signs of more serious conditions. n Got a health question for our resident doctor? Email it confidentially to askdrmax@ readersdigest.co.uk illustration by Javier Muñoz

HEALTH

Do Something About Your Memory You won’t learn well without working at it, says our memory expert, Jonathan Hancock

H

ave you noticed what advertisers do when they want you to remember their message? They make you do something in return: ask questions, feel excited, imagine possibilities, laugh… They know that evoking a response is the best way to switch your memory on.

Unfortunately, left to our own devices, we can slip into a much more passive approach. It’s all too easy to spend an hour reading a textbook without any of it going in. And I can’t be the only person to have sat through an entire presentation only to realise that not a single word has stuck!

But here’s the good news: active learning is an easy habit to get into.

It simply means deciding that the material in front of you is worth knowing, then doing something to put your memory to work.

Good teachers know this well.

They encourage their students to pay 54 • APRIL 2020

attention to key ideas, think about them, question them, and use them as soon as possible. They’re in the business of creating engaged, curious, active learners, and we could all do well to follow their lead.

So let’s give it a try. Here’s a fairly dry set of data: the ten countries with the most vehicles per person.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

San Marino Monaco New Zealand USA Iceland

6. Liechtenstein 7. Finland 8. Australia 9. Brunei 10. Switzerland

You could just read a list like this a few times, hoping it sticks. Or, you could ask questions—like why these countries have so many vehicles, or what their most common vehicles might be. You could look for patterns; notice places you’ve visited; say them in your head in exaggerated accents…

Have a go yourself. Engage in what psychologists call “elaboration”— processing, rather than just looking or listening. Then cover the list and see how well your memory works.

Every day you encounter material that would be useful to remember.

From now on, don’t just hope that it sticks. Do something—almost anything—to get learning going.

Your brain’s amazing, but it won’t do what you want by magic. So invest some energy when it matters, to start making your memory work! n

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Calcium is essential to help maintain normal bones, as is vitamin D, which is necessary for the normal absorption and utilisation of calcium. But did you realise magnesium and zinc are important for bones too? Both men and women need to look after their bones throughout their life, and remember it’s never too early or too late to start a bone-friendly way of life!

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INSPIRE

Good The

Cultivating your patch, no matter the size

Life

by Gillian Harvey

Many of us like the idea of growing our own fruit and veg, or even investing in a brood of chickens. But these dreams are often put off until an imagined future in which we have more time and space 74

57

THE GOOD LIFE

However, while we may not have the sprawling acres of our dreams, we can still have a go at "micro-farming" —making use of what we have now and dipping our toes into the world of growing on a smaller scale.

Small is beautiful While allotments or large gardens provide an ideal space to grow your own fruit and veg, those with more modest gardens needn’t be put off.

In fact, it’s possible to produce your own micro-crop even if you have no garden space at all, by taking advantage of balconies, or even pots on windowsills.

“Tomatoes are a really good crop for a balcony,” says Helena Dove, head of the Kitchen Gardens at the Royal Botanic Kew Gardens, “You could even get trailing ones and use them in hanging baskets.”

“Herbs are good too, and one of the advantages Sara McQueen is that you can have a little with every single meal.

Basil tends to grow well, as does mint, parsley and coriander.” Helena also recommends micro-greens—the seedlings of edible vegetables— which can be easily grown and are highly nutritious.

Sara McQueen, 25, a PR executive from Leeds, has been growing her own herbs for years, and has recently branched out into tomatoes, even sprouting an avocado, despite not owning any outdoor space. As well as the excitement of producing her own modest crop, Sara also feels that growing her own has been good for her mental health.

“My mum is a keen gardener and my grandfather was a farmer,” she explains. “I get this curious joy from re-potting and sorting all my plants out.”

Space-savers

Helena Dove

58 • APRIL 2020

For those with a garden area, albeit limited, Helena suggests spacesaving crops such as dwarf French beans. “They don’t get too tall, and they don’t tend to get many pests or diseases,” she says. “They come in a range of colours too, which is great if you don’t have a lot of space as

The Transition Loughborough allotment project

they’re decorative as well. Beetroot also tend to be really successful, and as you can eat the roots and the leaves, it’s a great multi-purpose crop to grow if you haven’t got too much space.”

Community gardens If large-scale is your thing, you may want to consider renting a local allotment, or getting involved in an existing project.

Jon Knight, 49, works with the Transition Loughborough community allotment project, which runs four allotment spaces on a privately owned site where volunteers grow vegetables including sweetcorn, spinach and strawberries, as well as flowers to “encourage

pollinators and other wildlife.”

As well as enjoying growing, Jon finds the social aspect of the scheme incredibly rewarding. “We run things like our annual Potato Day spud seed purchasing scheme and sell plants and handmade shopping bags to fund our projects,” he says.

The scheme has also encouraged community groups to work with them, including a local group for vulnerable adults.

If no such projects exist locally, those keen on the idea of creating a shared space may wish to petition the council to see whether local plots of unused land could be commandeered for this purpose.

Hannah Garcia, 33, co-founder of Green City Events, together with APRIL 2020 • 59

THE GOOD LIFE

Hannah Garcia's garden in Cardiff

her business partner Rebecca Clark has recently acquired a peppercorn lease on piece of land in Splott, East Cardiff, which they plan to transform into a thriving community garden.

“We found some local land which had previously been a park but had

been chained up and overgrown for years.” The pair petitioned the local council and—despite a delay of three years—have now been granted a 20 year lease on the plot.

Livestock If you’ve always dreamed of keeping your own chickens, or even raising a larger animal for meat, you don’t necessarily need to wait until you retire to a sprawling countryside plot. In fact, when it comes to housing chickens, the quality of space trumps quantity.

“The house the chickens live in can really be quite small, because all they do is sleep and lay eggs,” explains Hannah—who has worked with chickens for over 12 years.

Outside space needn’t be enormous either: “Chickens don’t need to range

60 • APRIL 2020

READER’S DIGEST

or run, but they like things to do—things to scratch, different levels, different textures—something like a chicken playground!”

Hannah currently keeps four bantam hens in a 10ft enclosure in her tiny urban garden on the outskirts of Cardiff— leaving 20ft of garden spare for her vegetables, wormery, birdfeeders and her wildlife garden.

Creating a buzz If chickens aren’t your thing, one creature that also needs very little space is the humble honey bee.

Former Barrister Sally Hay, 60, began keeping bees in her garden three years ago in a bid to help the environment and lower her stress levels.

Keeping bees isn’t for the fainthearted, but Sally—who attended a beekeeping course before she began—has overcome her fears.

“You can get surrounded by thousands of bees, which still gives me the heebie-jeebies,” she says. “But you wear a bee suit and I’m meticulous about staying covered.”

Despite her fears—and one memorable incident when 30,000 bees swarmed in her

garden turning the sky black—Sally enjoys her hobby. “I have allergies and I’m sure eating locally sourced honey has helped them,” she says.

“I’ve also been able to give plenty of honey away to friends and family.”

Livestock Larger animals, necessarily, need more space—but those wishing to try their hand at rearing their own meat may be able to make use of nearby unused land. Elsa Pawley, a retired NHS worker in her 60s together with a friend who works as a local ranger for the council, has been keeping pigs on a local disused farm plot since 2016. After having the initial idea, the pair were granted permission by Ealing council to use the land, on which pigs root freely in a wooden area, and wallow to their hearts’ content in mud.

Keeping pigs is quite labour APRIL 2020 • 61

THE GOOD LIFE

Elsa Pawsey

intensive, so Elsa—who took a training course beforehand—has now recruited volunteers from a local community group.

As well as the pleasure of caring for their little drove, the group also benefit from free-range, succulent meat once the pigs are sufficiently grown. “We take them to a humane abattoir in the Cotswolds,” explains Elsa. “It’s probably the hardest time—quite an emotional day."

For Elsa, the experience of raising pigs has been life-changing.

“It’s wonderful being outdoors, respecting the animals and the meat they produce.”

If you want to raise your own chickens or other livestock, keep an eye out for courses in animal care, beekeeping or chicken keeping at your local institution. Unsurprisingly, 62 • APRIL 2020

there are strict laws when it comes to keeping farm animals, so before starting out, you need to check out legislation with Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA) online or by phone.

Health benefits If the joy of gardening or raising animals isn’t enough, getting outside and tilling the earth can be great for your mental health. Counsellor Angela Davies from Merseyside began to practice Horticultural Therapy after realising how good gardening could be for stress relief.

“Gardening takes your mind away from your troubles, clears your thinking—it’s very good for people with anxiety and mild depression,” she says.

Keeping animals, too, can be great

READER’S DIGEST

growing your own food is in the eating—and there are myriad benefits. “Home grown fruit and veg are usually more nutrient dense because the produce is moved from farm to plate much quicker”, explains Rachel Clarkson, RD at the DNA Dietitian, London. “When we consume foods from far away they lose vitamins during transit.” Eggs and meat from free-range animals raised on high quality food are also likely to have a “better nutrient profile,” according to Rachel.

Helping the Environment

Angela Davies

for both body and mind. Dr Deborah Wells, of Queen’s University in Belfast, explains the benefit of being around animals goes far beyond any produce they may afford: “Studies have shown that interactions with animals, even the mere act of looking at them, can serve as a powerful stress-buster, helping to lower heart rate and blood pressure,” she explains.

Dietary benefits Of course, one of the draws of

It may seem that working on our little patch of soil would have limited effect on the environment; however, small changes can be beneficial.

“One of the best places to start is your own back garden,” explains Ben Raskin, head of horticulture at the Soil Association. “Growing soilsaving plants is easy and benefits the environment.”

With proven benefits to body, mind and even the environment, perhaps it’s time that we all picked up a trowel and tried our hand at farming on a smaller scale? n

Cautious Kitties Cats avoid eating from the sides of their food bowl due to a phenomenon known as "whisker fatigue". Their whiskers are so sensitive, that even the slightest unexpected touch can make them dizzy and tired.

SOURCE: MODERNCAT.COM

APRIL 2020 • 63

reg Balfour Evans / Alamy Stock Photo

INSPIRE

64 • APRIL 2020

Chipping Norton Theatre CHIPPING NORTON, OXFORDSHIRE

In a town of just over 6,000 people, Chipping Norton Theatre brings an incredible 50,000 through its doors each year, and it's easy to see why.

Says artistic director John Terry, "We're a small, statistically improbable and slightly eccentric place. Sometimes it feels like we're at the far end of the world from the rest of the theatre industry, but other days it feels like we're an irreplaceable

part of it. When the theatre was opened in the mid-1970s, the two actors who'd dreamed it up asked every resident for £1 towards the refurbishment. Now that we're making and touring our own work (this spring’s tour of Jeeves and Wooster is visiting almost 50 venues across the country) we have an even stronger sense of ourselves and our creative identity." chippingnortontheatre.com

L O C A L T H E AT R E

APRIL 2020 • 67

BEST OF BRITISH

Watford Palace Theatre WATFORD, HERTFORDSHIRE

A somewhat unassuming façade gives way to a gorgeous Edwardian auditorium in this 600-seat theatre.

First opened in 1908, it originally played host to variety shows and pantomimes. Says artistic director Brigid Larmour, "Watford Palace Theatre has both an Edwardian chocolate-box beauty and an incredible intimacy between stage and audience.

It was built as a music hall in 1908, and you feel you could reach out and touch the audience—I often have to tell actors to speak up! Yet it suits productions like Timberlake Wertenbaker’s Jefferson's Garden, or our much loved annual pantomime perfectly." watfordpalacetheatre.co.uk 66 • APRIL 2020

Square Chapel Arts Centre HALIFAX, YORKSHIRE

This small but perfectly formed theatre has had quite a journey over 30 years, from semi-derelict building to a thriving community hub. In the 1980s, six local people broke into the abandoned building, and agreed to buy it for £25, creating an arts centre for their local community. So keen were they to get going, that during original shows audiences had to wear hard hats for their safety.

Says head of audiences, Michaela O'Sullivan, "Reaching out to the community to create entry routes into the arts has always been a core part of our mission and identity—I’m proud to have established our Open Door schools programme in 2009, which has supported 20,000 children living in Calderdale to access first-class theatre and live performance. We also deliver an inspirational programme of engagement work, including 'Gig Buddies', supporting people with learning disabilities to have improved social opportunities." squarechapel.co.uk

APRIL 2020 • 67

The Playground Theatre LATIMER ROAD, LONDON

When the founders of the Playground Theatre first discovered this former bus depot space, there was still a bus inside! Originally used as a practice performance space for artists including Damon Albarn and Complicite, the theatre opened its doors to the public two years ago and have met with enormous success since, attracting big names such as actor Brian Cox, director Mike Figgis and comic Nina Conte.

Says co-artistic director Anthony Biggs, "Expect a really broad mix at The Playground—plays and musicals, gigs, opera and ballet, stand-up, family and children shows. Recently we even had a sculpture exhibition with a show around it. All our companies think big and bold and everything we do is made with our local community in mind. And we even let people bring their dogs in (if they’re good).” theplaygroundtheatre.london

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READER’S DIGEST

Shop Front Theatre THEATRE ABSOLUTE, COVENTRY

Ten years ago, professional theatre company Theatre Absolute persuaded Coventry's local authority to allow them to enter an empty fish and chip shop, formerly named Fishy Moore's, and establish a miniature theatre. Shop Front was born out of a desire to strip back the traditional elements of theatre to its bare bones—stories and actors— and the creativity that emerges from this sometimes challenging environment is truly impressive.

With only six lights and space to seat just 55 people, this tiny "living room theatre" offers seriously intimate performances, showcasing a variety of entertainment and culture, from break dancing to contemporary new writing. It's the only professional theatre space of its kind in the UK. theatreabsolute.co.uk/shopfront-theatre

APRIL 2020 •103 69

BEST OF BRITISH

Cumbernauld Theatre KILDRUM, SCOTLAND

Founded in 1960, the Cumbernauld Theatre is one of the oldest professional producing theatres in Scotland. When residents first moved to the town during the 1950s, they were amazed that while roads, schools, houses and more had been built, there had been no provision for cultural facilities. A group of locals clubbed together and persuaded the council to lease them an abandoned set of farm cottages and turned them into a small cultural centre and a 55 seat local theatre. Today, their legacy continues with an impressive array of popular theatre, dance, music and comedy as well as new bars, workshops and meeting spaces recently added for the local community. cumbernauldtheatre.co.uk 70 • APRIL 2020

READER’S DIGEST

Willow Globe Theatre POWYS, WALES

Named "Britain's most enchanting outdoor drama experience" by The Sunday Times, Wales's Willow Globe Theatre offers one of Britain's most immersive ways to enjoy Shakespeare.

A scaled down version of London's Globe Theatre marked out with carefully woven willow trees, there's something magical about this organic space, with its rough thrust stage and verdant, green surroundings.

Shows run at the theatre from April through to September, with a covered barn theatre also on hand should proceedings be interupted by rain.

Performances often match up with school syllabuses, making it the perfect weekend out with children or grandchildren studying Shakespeare at school. If the Bard isn't your bag, don't despair, the Willow Globe also offers a host of other arts performances and events throughout its season, so keep an eye out for your dream show. shakespearelink.org.uk/aboutwillow-globe Have you visited a particularly impressive local theatre? Email readersletters@ readersdigest.co.uk and let us know

MARCH 2020 • 73

If I Ruled The World Graham Coxon

Musician and artist Graham Coxon came to prominence as Blur’s guitarist. Noel Gallagher once described him as one of “the most talented guitarists of his generation” Anyone wanting to be a politician would not be allowed to be one.

It’s kind of obvious to me. Of course a lot of people get into politics to be helpful and to create positive change, but I think anyone wanting to be a politician [for the power] is the wrong person for the job. They should at least have to have a thorough psychological profile done.

Laws would be made by scientists.

I have a lot of faith in scientists.

I know there are some mad men, and scientists like Professor Branestawm, 72 • APRIL 2020

but the ones that actually talk sense should be making the laws.

The teaching of aesthetics would be compulsory in schools. Aesthetics should be taught from a young age right the way through school and as compulsory as English, maths, science and PE. Art appreciation is perhaps what you’d call it—painting, sculpture and music from all around the world. I was lucky, I had amazing teachers, but teachers can’t always have the energy to be inspiring, they’re a knackered breed for the

INSPIRE most part. Kids are told nowadays that they can’t draw that well. People are judged early on subjects that need time. Kids need the opportunity to take art seriously, and see the beauty of it. And that can extend to graffiti and street art if you must [laughter], but proper art too. People who say they “can’t draw” often do the most terrific drawings, which are untrained but have a naive power.

I love drawing with pencil and paper and connecting your hands and your eyes with marks made on a piece of paper. That should be part of the rule. That pencil and paper drawing is absolutely compulsory.

No frigging felt tips!

But the thing of good and evil, people saying that children or anybody is evil and wicked, I think it’s horrendous abuse. Just because people do bad things it doesn’t mean they’re evil. We all do bad things, it means we’re human.

All artists would be put on a retainer from the government.

Art is the most important thing about civilisation, end of story. Musicians, writers, painters and all the other artists should be supported. I really disagree with people who say artists do their best work when they’re living in a garret and all that.

Eating meat or fish would be banned for six months of the year.

Deforestation and cattle production would cease too. Mechanised farming, industrial farming and beef production would stop with immediate effect. I’m not forcing anyone to be vegan, but I’d like to bring seasonal food back. Being able to have strawberries all year is very nice, but actually we’re just killing ourselves. I abhor the dairy industry and there are plenty of really good alternatives nowadays. n

There would be no such thing as “good and evil”. It would be about duality instead. The patriarchal, monotheistic religions would be phased out, and nature would become what we respect. Let’s face it, good and evil, heaven and hell—it’s all about control and fear. In my romantic way I quite like the idea of bringing back goddess worship again.

There would be zero tolerance for any kind of violence, verbal or physical. I’ve seen some really disturbing videos on Twitter of bullying and it breaks my heart— violence against children and women—all of this stuff I find extremely upsetting. If you’ve got kids, it makes you think of your own children.

As told to Anna Walker Graham Coxon’s The End of The F***ing World 2 (Original Songs and Score) is out now APRIL 2020 • 73

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Older

&

76 • APRIL 2020

It's never too late to learn something new, as these mature students demonstrate. Jenessa Williams speaks to students who have returned to education in later life

Wiser

APRIL 2020 • 77

OLDER AND WISER

A

s the final term of the school year beckons ever closer, students up and down the UK are filling out revision cards, planning open day visits, and wondering where the future might take them. However, the country’s 18-year-olds are not the only ones plotting out their hopes for higher education. UCAS reports that over 3,000 people aged 50+ applied to university in 2019, and according to retirement experts, Responsible Life, mature applications are growing more than three times faster than those of school leavers. But why are so many older adults flocking back to the classroom? We spoke to three third-year mature students to find out what the experience of undergraduate life has meant to them.

Having left the publishing industry in her fifties, Christina chose Nottingham Trent University to follow her passion for animal biology.

She credits the experience as a transformative one for her selfconfidence, both inside and outside the classroom.

78 • APRIL 2020

READER’S DIGEST

“M

y background is in the arts, so I wanted to see if I could keep up with a science degree. I was a carer for my parents when I was 18, so I didn’t have the opportunity to go to university then. I was a little nervous, and cynically worried, that I was just making up Nottingham’s numbers of non-straightforward applications, but I was actually treated the same as all the other students.

I'm definitely a bit of a mum figure to some of my course mates, but that’s fine—friendship grows in different ways. I’ve been invited to all the club nights and such which I haven’t really taken up, but I’ve done lots of volunteering, so there have been plenty of opportunities to extend my knowledge and experience.

Nottingham Trent has a good reputation within the city. It’s a beautiful rural campus and everybody on the open day was so welcoming and ready to help me.

Choosing the right university is so important, because if you feel like you can’t belong there, you’re not going to be able to do your best. The work is stressful of course, but the care and feedback is fantastic.

My family have been so supportive too—my husband is retired now and has taken on lots of the housework and the support of our autistic son so that I can study. My daughter has already got her degree—she studied anthropology—and she’s been great

“It's given me the confidence to speak up again, to join in and be part of society. I was shrinking inside the little world of my house” helping me get perspective if I'm struggling a bit with the workload.

I’ve applied for a few jobs at the university for when I graduate, and I’m also considering other qualifications, maybe going back to the arts—I feel a little restricted writing in the factual nature of the sciences, but I’ve learned so much about critical thinking.

I would recommend adult study to anyone, even if it’s just college, so they can feel that connection and support. That’s what I missed—going in regularly and having a bunch of people to talk to. Especially if your confidence has been knocked over the years or you have a little bit of imposter syndrome —you need that support from people who see you as a person and not just a mum or a wife.

It’s really given me the confidence to speak up again, to join in and be part of society. I was shrinking inside the little world of my house. I feel a lot more 3D now.”

APRIL 2020 • 79

OLDER AND WISER

74-year-old Michael chose to study history of art at The University of Leeds following his retirement. He was drawn to the institution by its flexible foundation course at the Lifelong Learning Centre (LLC).

“I

’d been retired four years, when a friend suggested university. I thought he was joking—I was rubbish at school and failed my 11 plus. But we love to compete over Mastermind and University Challenge, and he thought I’d enjoy the challenge. And he was absolutely right!

I did a foundation course first, which was part time at the University Lifelong Learning Centre (LLC), two nights a week and the odd Saturday.

80 • APRIL 2020

I did quite well, and that gave me the confidence to do a full-time, three-year degree. I’m passionate about art, and I always wanted to be here for the journey and not the destination. That sounds really corny, but it was the truth in my case.

Initially it was a bit strange assimilating with my course mates.

They were all 18, straight out of sixth form or college. Over time though, they’ve all been fine—now, we all get on really well and there’s no issues.

READER’S DIGEST

“I needed routine in my life, I needed purpose.

I'm not going to spend my day in the bookies or the pub. If you've got a passion for something, you should pursue it” I’ve made plenty of friends—I’m a member of the mature students society, and I do some volunteering through the LLC, chatting to prospective students about my experience of coming to university.

I tell them my story and basically encourage them to give it a go— you’ve got nothing to lose. I like to think I’ve convinced a few of them.

In terms of the workload, I would say I’m quite disciplined. I live on my own, and I’m a morning person, so I’ll crack on from about 8am to 3pm in the afternoon, with occasional breaks. And then I’ll think; right, I’ve earned a rest! There are pressures, but it’s all what you put on yourself.

You may have deadlines, but it’s about working smart. As a mature person, you bring life skills with you, and you know more about managing your time. There have been odd times where I’ve wondered why I’m putting

myself through this, but then the camaraderie we have with the few of us who’ve stuck together as pals coming through the foundation course, we all help each other along.

I’m really impressed with all the support the university has with mindfulness and the like too. I think when you get older, you might feel as though you need support, but you’re often reluctant to ask for it or say, "I’m having a meltdown".

It’s probably a bit of a male thing, the stiff upper lip of being a 74-yearold. But peer support is so powerful, and it’s important to remember that it was a choice—I’m here for me, not for anybody else.

I have no regrets at all. [Enrolling] was the best piece of advice I’ve received in years, especially postretirement. I needed routine in my life, I needed purpose. I’m not going to spend my day in the bookies or the pub. If you’ve got a passion for something, you should pursue it. I’ve learned so much and when I graduate, I’m really looking forward to getting back into my writing—I’m currently working on an art thriller. I feel very grateful for my student loan—as a retired person I’m unlikely to get another job where I’m earning enough that I reach the threshold where I'm required to start paying it back. I couldn’t have afforded the payments on my own, but if I get a best-seller out of it, I will very happily pay it back!

APRIL 2020 • 81

OLDER AND WISER

“I

never planned to study, but then I got made redundant.

I’d worked in a rubber factory for 17 years, and when they decided to close, they offered me some severance money. I thought I might look into doing something at college, and when I enquired there they suggested I might be interested in undertaking a Scottish wider access qualification. St Andrews happened by accident too—a woman came in from the university to talk to us and explained that they were very supportive of people from different backgrounds. So I handed in the

82 • APRIL 2020

UCAS form thinking, it’s a top three university, they’ll never want me, but luckily they did!

I didn’t come in on a straightforward Geography degree. What St Andrews do for students coming through alternate routes, or STARs as they like to call us, is they allow you to undertake any three modules that could lead to a specific pathway.

It was only when I got to third year that I moved specifically onto the geography programme. It’s not an option in a lot of places, but I think here, they understand that if you’ve been out of education for a long

© martin parr

Audrey, 44, is in her final year of Geography at St Andrews University, having followed a general degree course offered by the university to those coming from alternative academic backgrounds.

READER’S DIGEST

“It's so fun when you're older, because you care so much less about other people's opinions of you and you're not afraid to speak out and get the most out of things”

time, you might struggle a little to know exactly what you want to do.

The general degree was a real mix of people aged 17-70, but I was lucky that six of us on the course I knew from college. As three of us do geography, we could all go through it together. It definitely made the whole friend-making thing a bit easier. The university really looks after us too— we all commute in from places outside of St Andrews and they give us a common room where we have

free tea and coffee, showers, microwaves—we have our own community there that I suppose mimics what other students get from halls of residence. None of my friends at other universities had anything like this, so I feel really grateful.

I’ve gotten quite involved in everything from day one—a lot of the folk who come to St Andrews seem very mature and sensible and they’re all quite academically focused. I thought, you’re the young ones, you’re supposed to be partying it up, maybe you might need to relax a little! My friend's freshers weeks back when we were 17 and 18 were way more crazy than anything I’ve seen here. The young ones are so stressed and under pressure about making the right decisions and doing amazingly at everything to get the right career. I think that’s why it’s so fun when you’re older, because you care so much less about other people’s opinions of you and you’re not afraid to speak out and get the most out of things.

University is such an expensive undertaking for people nowadays, and I feel very lucky that up here in Scotland I get my education paid for.

I just never want to go back to work!

I keep telling all my younger course mates to consider that MA or chase their dreams, because once they’re out in the work place, they’ll be doing it long enough. n APRIL 2020 • 83

INSPIRE

One man has made it his life’s mission to save the endangered sun bear

Papa Bear O

n Christmas Eve in 2017, shocking images of a dismembered sun bear in a Kuching food market in Sarawak, East Malaysia, went viral on social media. Its head and body parts were being sold as exotic meat.

Sun bears, which have a distinguishing white or yellowish patch on their chest, are the smallest of the bear species. Adults are about four to five feet long and weigh up to 13 stone. In Malaysia, it is illegal to hunt, kill or sell sun bears.

Unfortunately, that hasn’t put an end to such activities.

Wildlife biologist Wong Siew Te has made it his life’s mission to protect these beautiful, threatened creatures, which are also known as 84 • APRIL 2020

Malayan sun bears and honey bears.

In 2008, he founded the Bornean Sun Bear Conservation Centre (BSBCC) in Sepilok, ­Sabah, East Malaysia.

At the time, Wong was a PhD student who had moved to Sepilok ­after doing his doctoral field work. He was responsible for the care of seven ­rescued sun bears at the Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Centre. “The building that housed the bears was rundown and didn’t have proper facilities, only cages,” the 49-year-old recalls.

Wong had a vision—first, to transform the building into a wellequipped conservation centre with forest enclosures that allowed the bears to come and go during the day, then, to create an education and

Photo: CEphoto/Uwe Aranas

by Siti Rohani

Pioneer in animal conservation: Wong Siew Te

85

PA PA B E A R

outreach centre, where the public could learn about the plight of the sun bears.

But first Wong needed money to achieve his ambitious plan.

After several fund raising campaigns, which included donations from the Malaysian Ministry of Tourism, Culture and Environment and the Sime Darby Foundation, the BSBCC was finally opened to the public in January 2014.

Today, visitors can view the bears from an observation platform, listen to talks and watch videos about the animals. The centre, which still

UNDER THREAT The sun bear, once widespread in the lowland forests of Southeast Asia, has largely disappeared from most of its former ranges.

There are no reliable population figures for the sun bear, according to both WWF and IUCN (International Union for Conservation of Nature), however, it’s estimated that the population has fallen by more than 30 per cent in the last 20 years. The number of sun bears in the wild is possibly as few as 1,000.

The IUCN Red List of threatened species has classified the sun bear as vulnerable, meaning its population is considered at risk of endangerment in the near future.

86 • APRIL 2020

shares five hectares of land with the Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Centre, has 28 full-time staff who look after 44 sun bears. Over the past decade, 58 sun bears have called the centre home, and two have been successfully released back into the wild.

The biggest threats facing the sun bear population across Southeast Asia are deforestation and poaching.

The animals are killed because of the mistaken belief that their meat has medicinal value, and their parts are sold, sometimes openly, in local markets. Social media has also made it easier for illegal traders to peddle products such as gall ­bladders, bear paws and claws ­online.

“As long as people are willing to buy these things, there will be somebody willing to supply them,” Wong says.

G

rowing up in Penang, in northern peninsular Malaysia, Wong always loved animals.

When he was five years old, he recalls, his parents brought home some baby ­sparrows that had fallen out of their nests. He nursed them back to health.

For as long as he can remember, he wanted to be an animal expert. “I knew what I wanted to do since I was very little,” he says. “I was determined and my ambition never changed.”

In 1994, Wong went to the University of Montana in the US to study wildlife

biology. There he met Christopher Servheen, who was looking for a Malaysian student to do a study on sun bears. The project set him on his life’s path.

Fast forward almost two decades and Wong regularly puts in 18-hour days at the BSBCC. He gives talks, checks on the bears and makes the decisions that come with running an animal sanctuary. The job is difficult but rewarding. “When the bears are happy, I’m happy, too,” he says. “The reality is that I’m still in a war zone.

It's good that we are established, but our job is not done yet. We still have a lot of things to do if we really want to save the sun bears.”

Wong admits that recognition such as a 2017 CNN Hero award from the global news network motivates him to keep going despite the challenges. “It strengthens my ­belief that I’m doing the right thing for society,” he says.

Photo: ©shutterstock

I

n any trade, there needs to be supply and demand. Unfortunately, Wong admits, ­education can only go so far in stemming demand for sun bear parts. “We can tell people not to buy this and that, but despite years of working with education, there’s still a small group of people who ruin the entire thing,” he says.

The next crucial step is enforcement. According to Wong, it can only happen when law enforcers start taking crimes against animals

Demand for body parts poses a major threat to sun bears

seriously. “Wildlife poaching cases should be treated like a human ­murder case. Then we will catch all the poachers and punish them properly,” he says.

Time is running out, he warns.

“The next ten years will be crucial.

If we fail, a lot of species will soon become extinct.”

The task at hand can sometimes feel like a steep uphill battle. Wong admits that he gets upset by the situation, but says he still considers himself lucky that he was given the opportunity to study sun bears in the first place. It’s the reason he tries to stay positive and to inspire as many ­people as he can.

“The sun bears don’t have a voice so we have to speak on their behalf.

We have to fight for their rights. We have to get justice for them.” n APRIL 2020 • 87

READER

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TR AVEL & ADVENTURE

Portugal’s second city has it all: architectural marvels, the gorgeous Douro Valley, and Michelin stars galore

Three Perfect Days In

PORTO

By Chris Wright

from hemispheres for united airlines

90 • APRIL 2020

I

T H R E E P E R F E C T D AYS I N P O R TO

92 • APRIL 2020

alleys, the Michelin-starred meals.

More than that, though, there’s the communal feeling that befits a city of just over 235,000. In the Unescodesignated neighbourhood of Ribeira, you can still go into a mumand-pop café and help yourself to a cheap beer from the fridge—proving that, here at least, you can be the best while still being yourself.

T

oday I’ll explore Porto’s seats of power—commerce, religion, wine—starting with a tour of the Palácio da Bolsa, built by city merchants in the 19th century.

Lavish halls culminate in the Arab Room, a huge, mosque-like chamber embellished with a riot of gold and blue detailing. While the design had less to do with Islam than with the projection of power, it did not go down well with church leaders.

“It was meant to be a provocation,” my guide tells me. “They were saying, ‘We are rich, and we do what we want.’”

Compared to the Igreja de São Francisco next door, the Arab Room is a paragon of moderation. The gothic exterior of this church, which dates to the 14th century, does not prepare you for what’s inside. The Voyagers brought a great deal of gold home with them, and it seems the bulk of it was applied to the interior when it was remodelled in the 18th century. It’s like the Cave of Wonders in Aladdin. In the gloomy crypt,

photos, clockwise from top left: Faraway Photos / Alamy Stock Photo, ©shutterstock x3

’m eating eggs on a hotel deck in Porto, looking down on the Douro River and beyond to the tumbling orange rooftops of Vila Nova de Gaia, when a seagull plonks itself two inches from my face. I toss a bit of bread over the rail, narrowly missing a nun picking cabbages in the garden next door, and the gull follows.

This won’t be the only time I find myself occupying a scenic lookout. Porto and Gaia, Porto’s sister city, rise sharply on either side of the Douro, creating a kind of amphitheatre with each opposing district the star of the show. You can’t go ten minutes without encountering a commanding view of bell towers, palaces, and blue-tiled row houses—all tilting toward the shimmering River of Gold.

Snaking east into the Douro Valley wine region, the river is the source of Porto’s main contribution to humankind: port. It also played a role in the Voyages of Discovery in the 15th century and the acquisition of wealth that followed.

In recent years, travellers have begun to discover Porto. Named the top city in Europe by the European Best Destinations organisation three times since 2012, it now draws 1.6 million visitors each year. Sure, there’s the exquisite architecture, the stunning views, the winding

READER’S DIGEST

Clockwise from left: the historic Ribeira district has numerous alleys to explore; the Sé do Porto cathedral looks as if it was built to withstand an attack; the Arab Room in the Palácio da Bolsa is a dazzling display of 19th-century wealth

The Douro Valley offers its own version of beauty and colour

I encounter eerily lifelike effigies, artworks with titles like Our Lady of the Good Death, and a window in the floor, beyond which are human bones and skulls. Lunch time! I cross the iron-arched Dom Luís I bridge and enter Gaia, climbing up-up-up to The Blini, a restaurant opened in 2016 by Michelin-starred chef José Cordeiro. Directly across the river are the houses lining Praça da Ribeira, no two alike in colour, size, or shape. The waiter asks if I’d like to have the chef’s choice, and I say sure. It’s a parade of courses that includes oysters, tuna tartare with popadum, butterfish soup topped by a huge puff pastry, and baked seabass with pumpkin puree.

Between the soup and the seabass, I ask my waiter if I can take a quick breather. He smiles and looks at his watch: “You have two minutes!”

94 • APRIL 2020

From here, I waddle down to the Porto Cálem port house for a tour and tasting. Along with the mustysmelling cellars and rows of oak barrels are a 5D cinema and a guess-the-aroma sniffing station (I get one out of 12: vanilla). In the sipping room, my guide says, “A good wine speaks to you. You need to close your eyes to understand the message.” I’m a bit concerned about closing my eyes and not opening them again, so I sip up and head out.

A highlight of any trip to Porto is Ribeira, a squiggle of alleys lined with gorgeous old buildings. This neighbourhood is not glammed-up— you’re more likely to come across a physiotherapist’s office than you are a fridge-magnet emporium.

Riverside Praça da Ribeira is the most picturesque spot, but I get more

READER’S DIGEST

joy out of roaming the alleys behind.

You never know whether a gruelling ascent will lead you to a point of historical interest or someone’s front door, but that’s half the fun.

I march upward to the 12thcentury cathedral, the Sé do Porto, a hulking mish-mash of Gothic, Baroque, and Romanesque designs whose defining feature is a brooding, muscular solidity, as if it were built to withstand attack. Then I head west, pausing at Armazém, a funky indoor market with stalls selling everything from patterned tiles to a vintage Vespa. There's also a bar, where the friendly bartender warns me not to drink too much: “We’ve had a few people who bought things they didn’t want.”

Dinner is at the Michelin-starred restaurant Antiqvvm, which occupies a lovely old villa with exquisite views.

My tasting menu involves a flurry of artfully presented dishes, all washed down with wonderful wines.

At the hotel, I have a nightcap on the balcony. It’s a moonless night, and I have trouble distinguishing the river from the hillside from the sky.

A cluster of lights dance on the water, but before long these too are gone.

T

he next morning, I meet Miguel, the guide who will drive me to the Douro Valley, a Unesco World Heritage region.

“Get ready,” he says with a smile.

“You’re about to see one of the most

beautiful things in your life.” We make our way along ever-narrowing roads, emerging into a landscape that doesn’t quite seem real. The lines of the terraced slopes meet at odd angles, and the vines, lit by the morning sun, appear as a Pointillist fluorescence of red, gold, and green. Even Miguel, who has been delivering a running commentary on historical treaties and grape varieties, falls silent.

A half hour later we arrive at Amarante, a pretty town on the banks of the Tâmega River. The 16th-century Igreja de São Gonçalo is named after the town’s patron saint. As a miracle worker, Gonçalo is said to have had a knack for fertility and virility (the hands and feet of an effigy in the church have been worn smooth by hopeful rubbing).

Outside, an old lady presides over a stall selling the town’s signature confection: doces fálicos, anatomical cakes that, according to Miguel, “are given by young men to young women to signal their intent.”

Another drive brings us to the Alves de Sousa vineyard.

We are greeted by a young man named Tiago, a fourth-generation winemaker. We climb into a fourwheel drive and head along a narrow, rutted path. To our right is a steep drop, but Tiago seems unconcerned, pointing this way and that while discussing soil acidity, sun variation, and olive trees. “They APRIL 2020 • 95

MAGNFICENT MARRAKECH

loss. She clutches her hands before her chest, crooning about souls who sailed away, but otherwise she seems happy. I suppose you’d have to be: as Miguel put it earlier, “This is where we live.”

O were planted to mark the boundaries between vineyards,” he says. “But people now argue over who owns the olives.” It’s a good line, but I’m too concerned with staying alive to laugh.

Finally, we stop at a high rocky patch they call Abandonado because the family long ago gave up trying to grow anything on it. In 2004, Tiago badgered his dad into letting him plant there a variety of grapes that has produced some of the winery’s best bottles. “It has so much character, full of love,” he says.

After lunch on a riverside dock in nearby Folgosa, we take an hour-long boat trip along the Douro past fiery red terraces and small wine houses, interspersed with the green puffs of olive trees.

That night in a hotel lounge, I am serenaded by a woman singing fado, the mournful Portuguese folk music whose themes are love and 96 • APRIL 2020

n my last day I head into Porto for breakfast at the Majestic Café, which opened in 1921. Beyond its Art Nouveau doorway you enter a beguiling world of carved wood, burnished mirrors, and white-coated waiters. I sit at a marble-topped table and order rabanadas, a rich and creamy spin on French toast, and a super-sweet bombón coffee.

Buzzing with sugar, I hop on a rickety old tram, which judders toward the Livraria Lello. Dating back to 1906, the Lello is still the heart of the city’s cultural scene. It routinely makes “most beautiful” lists, with its stained-glass roof, elaborate carvings, and swirling double-sided stairway. A young JK Rowling is said to have spent time here, and it’s impossible not to see Hogwarts at every turn.

It’s a short walk to the Museu Nacional Soares dos Reis, with a collection ranging from 17th-century ceramics to 20th-century portraits to a life-size sculpture of a horse made out of silver tape.

Lunch at Restaurante Tripeiro is a bowl of tripas à moda do Porto, the city’s signature dish. The tradition

READER’S DIGEST

is said to date back to the Age of Discovery, when explorers sailed away with the choice cuts of meat and those who stayed behind got everything else. Ever since, locals have been known throughout Portugal as tripeiros, or “tripe eaters”—although the name doesn’t begin to capture the meal I receive at my alfresco table.

At one point the chef comes out and I ask him what’s in the bowl.

“White beans, chorizo, chicken, tripe, and the end of the cow.” I ask him which end, and he looks at me: “Both.” As I chew, an old guy walking by looks at my bowl, smiles, and says, “Bon appetit!”

I decide to burn off the offal with a stroll along the Atlantic coast. At Matosinhos, a fishing town a few miles from the city, I walk south, dodging the massive waves battering the sea wall. At Foz do Douro, I join locals watching as the waves engulf a nearby lighthouse. “Nature has put on a show for you,” one of them says.

Dinner tonight is at the fashionable Mini Bar. The menu lists a starter called Ferrero Rocher (like the chocolate). I ask the waiter about it, and he says, “Nothing is as it seems.” I order it, along with several small plates. Everything— even the chocolate starter, which is actually made of foie gras—is absolutely delicious.

I end the night at Bonaparte Downtown, a lively, quirky bar

filled to the rafters with bric-a-brac: cowbells, creepy dolls, vintage walkie-talkies. It’s a fantastic place, but it’s late. Just as I stand to leave, I hear the opening beats of The Clash’s punk anthem, “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” The rest is a bit of a blur. n Hemispheres, Copyright © 2019 by Ink for United Airlines, unitedmags.com

TRAVEL TIPS LODGING Torel Avantgarde, boutique hotel just west of the Porto city center, from 168 euros, torelboutiques.com; The Yeatman, Gaia, river-facing rooms, each with terrace or balcony, from 235 euros, the-yeatman-hotel.com; Infante Sagres, the grand dame of Porto’s hotels, from 205 euros, infantesagres.com.

DINING Porto and Gaia have four Michelin-starred restaurants including Antiqvvm, at Rua de Entre Quintas 220, Porto, around 65 euros for two courses.

Non-Michelin-star options include The Blini, at Rua do General Torres 344, Gaia, around 40 euros for two courses; Restaurante Tripeiro, Rua de Passos Manuel 195, set menus 22-48 euros; Majestic Café, Rua Santa Catarina 112, Porto, dinner entrees from 22 euros; Mini Bar, Rua da Picaria 12, Porto, tasting menus from 45 euros.

PORT TASTING Porto Cálem port house, Avenida Diogo Leite 344, Gaia, tour and tasting from 13 euros.

APRIL 2020 • 97

TR AVEL & ADVENTURE

My Great Escape:

In Awe Of Antigua Our reader Helen Balkwill takes in the sun, sand and historic sights of the charming Caribbean island of Antigua…

A

n unexpected invitation to Antigua arrived from friends who had retired there. Having never been, the West Indies were a part of the world that had long captured my imagination.

I read up before travelling: the West Indian islands have evolved 98 • APRIL 2020

through history under various countries’ influences. They sprawl northwards from the South American coast almost to Florida. Once under British control, Antigua has been independent since 1981.

Prepared for my own experience, I arrived at VC Bird International Airport ready for anything. My first

encounter turned out to be with the tropical heat as I stepped through glass doors out of fiercely cold air conditioning. My taxi driver’s cheery Caribbean-English chatter took me right back to memories of childhood days spent at a friend’s West Indian household back home.

Once installed with my hosts, and recovered from jet lag, I was ready to explore. What I found was not only a classic holiday vista of tropical beaches (there are 365 of them) and turquoise sea, but a wealth of other gems—a rainforest and lush peaks to hike, and swimming among magnificent, swirling stingrays. On Barbuda, there were coral-pink beaches and the hauntingly fascinating Frigate bird sanctuary. Revealed on a day trip to neighbouring Monserrat, a live volcano, with eerie, Pompeii-like scenes scattered at its foot, the result of a 1995 eruption. Swim-up beach bars, local restaurants, steel bands, sailing and snorkeling were all part of the experience, too.

My favourite thing? Joining a colourful, lively crowd of all ages for Sunday night dancing under the stars at Road House, a locals’ night club, set amid isolated farm buildings in the middle of the island. n Tell us about your favourite holiday (send a photo too) and if we print it we’ll pay £50.

Email excerpts@readersdigest.co.uk APRIL 2020 • 99

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE

DISTRICTS TO DIVE INTO FOR KITSCH-LOVERS: EL RAVAL, BARCELONA Talk about eclectic: walk around Raval and you’re liable to pass prampushers, thawb-wearing Muslims, students and sex-workers. Kitsch bars predominate, while the focal Rambla houses sculptor Fernando Botero’s huge bronze cat.

FOR SHOPPERS: SALARIO, ROME North of centre, leafy Salario is full of small shops—from orto-frutti (greengrocers) to olive-oil specialists —and pavement trattorias. The hip Hoxton hotel chain is soon to open a branch (thehoxton.com).

FOR DESIGN DISCIPLES: ASTORIA, NEW YORK A waterfront slab of Queens, atop Long Island, Astoria has recently seen its long-standing Greek and Italian denizens joined by such affordable boutique accommodation as the post-industrial Boro Hotel (borohotel.com).

FOR QUIET-LIFERS: WEDDING, BERLIN With rents soaring and blandness infecting Mitte— let alone the clubby likes of Neukolln —Berlin’s cool coach has moved northwest to multicultural Wedding, a quiet place of parks, lakes, beer halls and Weimar-era buildings.

FOR FOODIES: PETITES ECURIES, PARIS West of Gare du Nord and the Scandi-worshipping Canal St Martin crowds, these narrow, ancient streets hide lots of excellent neobistrots, messy street markets, bike-repair shops and rule-breaking cocktail bars like Le Syndicat. n

by Richard Mellor

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MONEY

You Need To Sort Out Your Overdraft

B

April brings with it major changes to overdraft charges in the UK, and Andy Webb is on hand with all you need to know…

What’s changing?

102 • APRIL 2020

ig changes this spring will see the cost of using an overdraft rocket, with rates rising to as much as 50%. If you ever use your overdraft you really need to take action now to make sure this debt doesn’t get out of control.

From April 6 2020, all banks in the UK can only charge their customers a single interest rate when they become overdrawn. The changes are all part Andy Webb is a personal finance journalist and runs the award-winning money blog, Be Clever With Your Cash

of an overhaul from the financial regulator, the FCA, to make it easier for customers to compare different overdraft charges. Until now there has been a mix of flat daily charges, interest rates or a combination of the two—confusing and costly.

In theory, having a single rate will help people see where they can get a lower rate and then move banks to reduce how much they’re paying for going overdrawn. There also won’t be any difference now between the costs for arranged and generally even more expensive unarranged overdrafts. So the new rules sound like a good thing.

The problem is, all the banks have hiked their rates with most customers who go overdrawn now facing charges between 15% and 49.9%.

The banks say most people who use an overdraft only dip in every now and then, and the new structure, even at such high rates, could actually mean they pay less compared to the quite harsh daily or monthly fixed fees some might face now. In fact, as many as 7 out of 10 will be better off or see no difference to their costs.

But for the rest, most likely those who are regularly in their overdraft, their costs will shoot up. For example, someone consistently using £1,000 of an arranged overdraft with HSBC will pay £399 rather than £199 over 12 months.

Most of the changes are coming in from late March or early April,

though Nationwide increased their rate last November. Most banks will have one rate for all customers, but Lloyds, Monzo and Starling will first perform a credit check to decide what you’ll get.

Here’s a list of the new rates at the leading banks and when the changes are happening: Bank of Scotland 39.9% or 49.9% (April 6) Barclays 35% (March 22) First Direct 39.9% (March 14) Halifax 39.9% or 49.9% (April 6) HSBC 39.9% (March 14) Lloyds 27.5%, 39.9% or 49.9% (April 6) M&S Bank 39.9% (March 14) Monzo 19%, 29% or 39% (April 1) Nationwide 39.9% (Already increased) Natwest 39.49% (March 27 to April 2) RBS 39.49% (March 27 to April 2) Santander 39.9% (April 6) Starling 15%, 25% or 35% (April 1) TSB 39.9% (April 2) APRIL 2020 • 103

MONEY

How to clear your overdraft Obviously, if you are overdrawn right now you need to take action to avoid paying these charges.

The first thing to do is use your savings. There’s no way you’re earning interest to match what you’ll pay on your overdraft so transfer over as much as you can. Yes, those savings might be important to you in case an emergency comes along.

But if that does happen and your savings are depleted, you’ll still be able to borrow money, and at a far cheaper rate than what your overdraft will charge.

If you don’t have any spare cash you can look at one of a handful of 0% overdrafts. First Direct offers a £250 buffer which might be enough to cover your debt. For anything bigger, consider a Nationwide FlexDirect account which offers an interest free overdraft for one year of around £1,500—giving you some time to try and pay it down. You’ll be able to switch to these banks even if you are already overdrawn.

If either or both of these methods still won’t clear what you owe you could look at a 0% money transfer credit card.

These cards allow you to transfer cash from a credit card to 104 • APRIL 2020

your bank account. So you’ll now owe the money to the card provider rather than your bank.

The advantage is you’ll have the 0% rate on this card for a couple of years or so, meaning no interest is added. These cards do come with a fee, generally of around 3 or 4% so you need to factor that cost into your calculations. Plus you need to make at least the minimum repayment every month, as well as have a plan to clear the debt. Ideally pay a set amount each time.

If your overdraft is so overwhelming that you can’t see a way out then you need to speak to your bank or to a free debt charity such as StepChange.

How to avoid dipping into your overdraft If you only occasionally use your overdraft, don’t think that everything is fine just because you might now pay less. Any borrowing at 40%, even if it’s just for a few days or weeks, is too expensive.

The biggest help will be regularly tracking your bank balance. You can do this with text alerts with many banks, or using mobile banking.

If you spot that you’re close to zero you can hopefully reign in some spending

READER’S DIGEST

ANY BORROWING AT 40%, EVEN IF IT’S JUST FOR A FEW DAYS OR WEEKS, IS TOO EXPENSIVE or move money about. One trick to keep you on budget is to set up all your large regular payments such as your mortgage and bills to come out of your bank just after payday. This way you’ve more control of what is left in your account for the rest of the month.

Alternative ways to borrow money If you can’t avoid the need to borrow money then there are other options to using your overdraft—even credit cards are generally cheaper now!

Saying that, always try to go for a 0% option if you can. Zero per cent purchase credit cards are particularly good for spreading out the cost of something expensive.

Failing that, personal loans can now be found for under 5%.

Generally the more you borrow, the lower the rate.

However, with all of these options your credit report does come into play so do everything you can to fix any errors and boost your score. n

What’s in a name?

See if you can match these authors with the correct pseudonyms

Which writer pens crime novels under the name Robert Galbraith? a) Ayn Rand b) JK Rowling c) Philip Pullman Which famous horror writer experimented with publishing under the pseudonym Richard Bachman? a) Shirley Jackson b) HP Lovecraft c) Stephen King Lewis Carroll, author of Alice in Wonderland, had the birth name… a) Charles Lutwige Dodgson b) Charles Ludwig Daveson c) Charles Donville Lemony Snickett is the fantastical fictional name of which Young Adult author? a) Daniel Handler b) Patrick Ness c) John Green Short and sweet, which Victorian writer worked under the name “Boz”? a) Thomas Hardy b) Arthur Conan Doyle c) Charles Dickens Answers: J K Rowling, Stephen King, Charles Lutwige Dodgson, Daniel Handler, Charles Dickens

FOOD

Spring Lamb Salad Serves 4 • 2 courgettes • 200g frozen peas • 100g radish • 60g lambs lettuce • 4 lamb leg steaks For the vinaigrette dressing • 15g fresh oregano, finely sliced • 15g fresh mint, finely sliced • 6tbsp olive oil • 6tbsp red wine vinegar • 1tbsp sugar • ½ tsp salt To garnish • 4 spring onions • 25g lightly toasted pumpkin seeds

Rachel Walker is a food writer for numerous national publications. Visit rachel-walker.co.uk for more information

Easter is intrinsically linked with feasting and is a great opportunity to serve something a bit special.

This vibrant salad celebrates new season lamb, and the onset of springtime with green, bright flavours 1. Thickly slice the courgettes diagonally—about the same thickness as a pound coin. Toss in 2tbsp olive oil and griddle until soft in the centre (with a little bite still round the edges) with thick lines of black char. Season with a generous pinch of salt and put in a salad bowl.

2. Meanwhile, prepare the rest of the salad ingredients.

Simmer peas for two minutes, chill quickly in iced water and strain. Wash the lambs lettuce, quarter the radishes and pile everything in the salad bowl.

3. Rub 2tbsp olive oil into the lamb steaks, season with salt and pepper and cook on the same griddle as the courgettes. Most supermarket lamb leg steaks are relatively slim and will cook in 2 minutes either side (for medium rare).

4. Set the lamb to rest while you make the dressing. Strip the herb leaves from the stalk and slice finely. Shake the oil, vinegar, sugar and salt in a jam jar and stir in the herbs—or if you have a stick blender then you might blitz at this point to create a thick green dressing. Toss the dressing through the salad, generously coating the leaves.

5. To plate-up, put a serving of the salad on each plate, top with a lamb steak (cut into strips diagonally) and garnish with the spring onion and pumpkin seeds.

106 • APRIL 2020

photography by Tim & Zoé Hill

Drinks Tip… Traditional roast lamb is best with a big red, but the leg steaks in this vibrant salad work well with something lighter—try chilling a Pinot Noir in the fridge for 20 minutes before serving. Tesco Finest Marlborough Pinot Noir (£9, Tesco) is a solid option

Serves 4-6 • 4 cooking apples • 75g light brown sugar • 1tsp ground cinnamon • 2tbsp lemon juice • 120g unsalted butter, melted • Double cream, to serve

Brown Betty There’s little better to accompany a cup of tea than a toasted, buttery bun. If you find yourself with any leftover hot cross buns, then they make an excellent ingredient in their own right. “Brown Betty” is a classic American dessert—a little like a crumble but with the crumb topping stirred throughout the pudding—and is taken to the next level with Easter buns

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C. Peel and core the apples. Cut them into chunks and stir through the sugar, cinnamon and lemon juice.

Show us your take on these dishes!

Just upload the picture to Instagram and tag us, @readersdigest_uk 108 • APRIL 2020

2. Tip everything into a big, deep ovenproof bowl—which should have plenty of room spare. Cover with foil and cook for 25 minutes until the apple is starts to soften.

3. Tear the hot cross buns into bite-sized pieces. Pop these big “crumbs” in a roasting tin and toast in the oven for 5-6 minutes until they turn golden. Toss them in the melted butter and then stir through the softened apple. Return to the oven (uncovered) for 15 minutes until the chunks on the surface are crisp. Serve hot, with cold double cream. n

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HOME & GARDEN

Give your home an effortlessly stylish edge by introducing a range of textures into your interior

Mixed Materials

J

ust as deciding on a colour palette and layout is key to designing any room, considering the materials of furniture, furnishings and accessories is an equally important part of the process. Sticking to perfectly matched pieces can make a room feel flat and soulless, whereas mixing in different textures will build up character and give your room a warm and homely, lived-in look.

Depending on the materials of your key pieces, such as sofas, bedframes or dining furniture, choose contrasting finishes for other elements around the room. Balance out a leather sofa, for example, with sumptuous velvet or chenille

Homes and gardens writer and stylist Cassie Pryce specialises in interior trends and discovering new season shopping 110 • APRIL 2020

cushions for a cosy touch, or warm up wooden or stone flooring with a plush shaggy rug or cow hide.

Metal or glass furniture will add a cool edge to rooms with a lot of upholstery and will help break up a monotony of soft textures. If you’re after a more natural-inspired look, try adding pieces made from rattan, jute, wood or bamboo for a different tactile quality. High-gloss surfaces, often found in more contemporary interiors, offer a smooth and clean finish, so pairing these with raw natural materials will create an unexpected contrast.

Finding the right balance is what will make a room feel complete; too many mixed textures may appear cluttered and overwhelming, whereas too few can look cold and sterile.

Build up your scheme layer by layer to ensure each element works together and take samples of fabrics with you when shopping as a handy reminder and point of reference. n

LAYERED look Henley large sofa in Navajo tan leather, £1,899; Aiden armchair in Aquaclean terracotta velvet, £599; brass and glass coffee table, £299; jute rug, from £79; large Milan mirror, £99; Faye cushion in pink mix, £25; Skylar cushion, £15; Masie cushion, £29.50; natural stripe vase, £12.50, all Marks & Spencer

HOME & GARDEN

Shaping Up Your Garden An eye for structure and shape can lend a garden a sense of character and unity. Here’s how to approach your green space as an architect would a building project…

T

hink of your garden as an architect would of a building—as a threedimensional structure with line, scale, and texture— and of plants as the building blocks.

For the framework you can choose from a vast array of “architectural plants”—hardy specimens with welldefined silhouettes that lend durable and dramatic form to the landscape in all seasons. Such plants include trees, shrubs, and ornamental grasses, which come in myriad shapes depending on the growth habit of the stems and foliage.

Whether standing alone or mixed in groups, distinctly sculptural plants can establish a boundary, minimise a defect, or provide an accent.

Architectural plants can also set a tone: a symmetrical aisle of upright arborvitae, for example, lends a formal 112 • APRIL 2020

look, while randomly placed stands of weeping cherries appear more relaxed. Plant shapes can be used to achieve a variety of effects. In general, vertical forms, such as pyramids, columns, and upright ovals, are eye-catchers, drawing the design of the garden skyward.

Horizontal forms, including spreading and umbrella shapes, act as anchors, linking the garden to the ground level.

Perhaps the most challenging— and rewarding—aspect of plant architecture is combining different shapes into a compatible grouping.

Pairing strongly divergent profiles, such as a soaring pyramid and prostrate “fan,” makes for dynamic contrast, whereas pairing related shapes, such as an egg and a globe or an umbrella and a bowl, results in a soft, harmonious design. n

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FASHION & BEAUT Y

Turn Up The Volume This month, Lisa Lennkh espouses the joys a bold, statement coat could bring to your wardrobe

L

ike most of what I wear, this linen Delpozo coat was a love at first sight piece.

I'm not really the person you come to for capsule wardrobe ideas. I am the person you come to for heart-stopping, wear-forever statement wardrobe ideas! I've always subscribed to the theory that if you only buy what you really, really love, it will all work together, as if by magic. The passion for your style is the thread that ties everything Lisa Lennkh is a banker turned fashion writer, stylist and blogger. Her blog, The Sequinist, focuses on sparkle and statement style for midlife women

114 • APRIL 2020

together and makes it work. Back to this coat… Bright cheerful colour?

Check. Statement sleeves with serious volume? Check. Looking both retro and modern at the same time? Check.

On sale? Check. Made by dreamy Spanish brand Delposo to boot? Add to cart!

To me, this dramatic coat looks like something a 1950s screen star would wear; it has that generous cocoon shape that was so popular back then. The bright shocking pink colour was also popular in the 1950s, thanks to Elsa Schiaparelli. Fashion is awash with deeply impractical statement sleeves, but I love the twist that these are on a coat rather than a blouse. A blouse with impractical sleeves irritates me in my day to day life, but a coat is more manageable.

I decided not to wear any other colour, and put a simple white shift dress underneath so the coat could do all the talking… or in this case, shouting! I wish I had some matching fuchsia shoes to play up the 1950s styling, but I settled for my multicoloured go-with-everything glitter heels (glitter is a neutral in my world) which do have some fuchsia glitter flecks in them. I happened to have a matching fuchsia clutch, which disappears nicely into the coat.

Now, the Spanish house of Delpozo

has been around since the 1970s, but like Gucci, it has had a huge revival in the past few years since the genius Joseph Font was appointed as creative director. He's an architect by training, and you can really see that in his designs and materials. He creates bold silhouettes using durable stiff fabrics so that they hold their shape.

He's Spanish, and like the most famous Spanish couturier, Cristobal Balenciaga, the love of volume and drama seems to be in his DNA. Joseph Font also embellishes like no other. He sometimes uses sequins the size of 50 pence coins or shaped into spiky flowers. I'm on the edge of my seat every season to see what fantastical new creations he has come up with.

Since I love statement dressing, unique coats feature heavily in my closet. It makes me sad to cover up fabulous clothes with a boring coat. If you don't own a statement coat that brings you joy, prowl the sales or charity shops and see if you can find one. Choose something in your favourite colour, something that makes you stop and stare, and something with interesting details you'll never tire of. Investment dressing doesn't mean only classic style, it just means a style that is timeless for you. n

IF YOU ONLY BUY WHAT YOU LOVE, IT WILL ALL WORK TOGETHER

APRIL 2020 • 115

FASHION & BEAUTY

Nailing A Healthier Manicure Jenessa Williams reveals the secret to keeping manicured hands healthy

Hero Products

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rips to the nail salon have rocketed in popularity over the past decade. Defying the downward turn of the high street, beauty bars are thriving across the UK, and offer a boost of self-confidence at a competitive price. However, repeated gel manicures can cause damage. UV lamps are required to create a long-lasting finish, but regular exposure to radiation can prematurely age the delicate skin of the hands, and contribute (however slightly) to an elevated risk of skin cancer. Just as you would before stepping out in the sunshine, apply a sunblock to your hands before your next appointment.

For those who don’t get their nails done regularly, it can be tempting to remove a gel polish at home instead of booking a removal appointment. Resist the urge to pick and peel—this will likely damage the real nail beneath, causing brittleness and breakage. If you really can’t wait, gently file the top layer, apply a conditioning acetone soaked into cotton balls, and then wrap small pieces of aluminium foil to seal around each nail. Afterwards, apply plenty of moisturiser or cuticle oil to rehydrate your natural nail. The key is patience—take time to soak off each layer with care.

Of course, the gel look can also be achieved without this level of alchemy.

Plenty of nail polish brands now offer plumping, high gloss formulas. It may not last as long, but it’ll save time and money—a great month on, month off alternative to your salon trip. n

116 • APRIL 2020

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HHHHH

Parenting is hard work but director Pablo Larraín really takes it to a whole new hellish level in his bizarro new work, Ema. The striking, platinum-haired protagonist Ema and her husband, Gaston, adopt a boy called Polo but once a disastrous event takes place, they’re forced to give him back up. We don’t know exactly what happened to bring on this drastic decision; we have to work it out for ourselves with the small crumbs of information we’re given throughout the film, that begin to form a heavy, ominous lump in your throat as you get closer to the truth.

The film offers a unique, if uncomfortable take on being a parent and the weight of the emotional trauma it sometimes inflicts on the child involved. It’s also unafraid to insinuate that some people are just better off never becoming a mother or a father, including Ema and Gaston—even if they refuse to accept it to the bitter end.

Ema’s so much more than a straightforward story about a broken family though. The drama is interspersed here with beautifully shot, exhilarating dance sequences taking place on rooftops, basketball courts and buses, with Ema’s girl gang bodypopping to the loopy, electronic beats of Nicolas Jaar’s remorselessly aloof but oh-so-catchy soundtrack.

118 • APRIL 2020

RE A D E RS D IGE S T.C O.UK/CULTURE/FILM

Chaos, anarchy and reggaeton rule the world of Pablo Larraín’s unrestrained new drama about an adoption gone wrong

© MUBI

EMA

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© U N I V E R S A L / S T U D I O C A N A L / A LT I T U D E

Family: THE SECRET GARDEN Starring Colin Firth and Julie Walters, this sparkling new adaptation of Frances Hodgson Burnett’s classic children’s novel makes for ideal Sunday morning viewing. The young leads deliver impressive performances and lush special effects lend real magic to the secret garden itself. While perhaps overly sentimental at turns, the chemistry between the three children at its heart makes for truly touching viewing.

HHHHH Horror: RUN SWEETHEART RUN This punchy Kill Bill and Get Out crossover about a first date gone terribly wrong is a fresh, wickedly fun tribute to the best of genre movies. Starring Ella Balinska as an irrepressible victimturned-vigilante and Pilou Asbaek as a

Crime: LES MISERABLES An idealistic rookie cop (Damien Bonnard) discovers the seedy underbelly of a problematic Paris district and has to learn the ropes the hard way in this French take on Training Day. Though the film features some spectacular, fine-tuned acting (especially from Bonnard who’s tasked with a difficult role requiring major character development within a very limited time frame), it’s an incredibly slow burner in that it relishes unnecessarily long establishing shots and continuously hammering home some very obvious points.

deliciously exaggerated villain channeling Gary Oldman’s sociopath from Leon, it’s a timely and clever contribution to the ongoing conversation about feminism and race.

The film also boasts an oomphy soundtrack (with a particularly brilliant usage of a trip-hoppy version of Doris Day’s “You Don’t Own Me” at just the right moment), lots of good oldfashioned violence and comes with a dose of fresh perspective on all the bad dates you’ve ever had.

by Eva Mackevic

APRIL 2020 • 119

TELEVISION HOME: SERIES 2 (ALL4) What is it? The show of empathy we arguably need right now.

Why should I watch it? In describing the further misadventures of Syrian immigrant Sami , now stranded in xx suburban Dorking and falling subject to grinding British bureaucracy, writer Rufus Jones again pulls off a tricky balancing act: few recent shows have succeeded in being this funny and heartwrenching, often simultaneously.

Best moment? Episode 2 sees Sami’s huffy guardian Peter succumbing to a showstopping Brexit-related breakdown.

THIS COUNTRY: SERIES 3 (BBC1; BBC IPLAYER) What is it? A final run for what rapidly became the cult homegrown comedy of recent years.

Why should I watch it? Sibling writer-stars Charlie and Daisy May Cooper had much to deal with this time, not least the tragically early death of co-star Michael Sleggs, but they’ve brought about a small miracle: six often hilarious episodes that bring this poignant vision of rural British life to a fitting conclusion.

Best episode? Episode 2, “Driving Lesson”, sees the Coopers’ country cousins Kerry and Kurtan literally drive the vicar (the magnificently exasperated Paul Chahidi) to distraction, while local hermit Len (Trevor Cooper) goes AWOL.

by Mike McCahill

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM: SERIES 10 (NOW TV) Larry David, playing himself, blunders into ever more awkward social scenarios for our delectation and delight.

120 • APRIL 2020

INSIDE NO.9: SERIES 5 (BBC iPlayer) TV masterminds Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith return with more witty, inventiv e and peerlessly performed tales of the unexpected.

SEINFELD: SERIES 1–9 (All4) Another Larry David triumph—the peppy “show about nothing” that became America’s #1 sitcom—finds a new home on Channel 4’s streaming service.

BBC PICTURES

WHAT TO STREAM THIS MONTH:

MUSIC

READER RADAR: BRENDA CALLANDER, Charity worker

ALBUM OF THE MONTH: MESSIAH…REFRESHED! by ROYAL PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA

We’ve all come to know Handel’s majestic oratorio Messiah as a fixture of the Christmas season, yet you may be surprised to learn that it originated as an Easter offering. The release of Messiah…Refreshed! makes for the perfect occasion then to revisit this awe-inspiring work with its intended purpose in mind. The oratorio has been re-arranged multiple times by numerous composers (including Mozart himself!) since its creation and this particular recording follows the sublime orchestration of Sir Eugene Aynsley Goossens which brings out the robustness and vibrant tones of the piece.

The album itself is everything that’s unique and wonderful about Baroque music: the larger than life drama, the emotional intensity, the monumental scale that makes you forget about trivialities of every day life and feel like you’re a part of something bigger. Handel himself, who wrote the piece in just 22 days, claimed to have seen “all Heaven before me, and the Great God Himself” during this burst of composition and there’s no questioning him when you’re faced with profoundness and urgency of Messiah.

by Eva Mackevic

Watching: VERA (ITV) Vera, played by Brenda Blethyn, is a highly intelligent DCI but looks more like an eccentric gardener. Every week she solves complicated crimes and calls her suspects “Pet”.

Reading: A TEST OF TIME; LEGEND AND THE LOST TESTAMENT BY David Rohl A set of three books by David Rohl, the Egyptologist and ancient historian. He ties up facts from ancient history, archaeology and the Bible and explains, in an brilliant, easy to read style, how they all fit together.

Online: FACEBOOK I occasionally go on Facebook to catch up with what friends and my family around the world are doing.

Listening: COUNTRY MUSIC At the moment I particularly like “Your Man”, sung by Josh Turner.

Email your recommendations to readersletters@readersdigest.co.uk

BOOKS

April Fiction A satisfying romcom and a biting debut about female friendship are our top literary picks this month…

The Switch by Beth O’Leary (Quercus, £12.99) Like all the best romcoms, The Switch has a big heart, a fundamentally generous worldview and, not least, the ability to blend familiar ingredients into something fresh and appetising.

When it begins, Leena is a stressed-out Londoner who could do with some rural calm. Meanwhile, as luck would have it, her 79-year-old grandmother Eileen is living alone in the Yorkshire Dales and pining for a spot of urban excitement. So it is that the two swap houses for a couple of months in a quest to find themselves.

But of course, they find plenty of other things too: including such romcom staples as kind, supportive friends; chic, blonde enemies; apparently nice James Walton is a book reviewer and broadcaster, and has written and presented 17 series of the BBC Radio 4 literary quiz The Write Stuff 122 • APRIL 2020

men who turn out to be horrible; and apparently horrible men who turn out to be nice.

O’Leary writes from both women’s perspectives with equal conviction—and her generosity extends not only to a large cast of highly appealing characters, but even to recognising the joys of London as well as of the Dales. Her first novel, The Flatshare, has already gained her a reputation as a rising romcom star. The Switch, her second, seems guaranteed to cement it.

Seven Lies by Elizabeth Kay (Sphere, £12.99) In the acknowledgements at the end of what seems likely to be one of 2020’s biggest debut novels, Elizabeth Kay writes that this is a book “about female friendship”, before going on to thank her own friends. If I were them, though, I might feel a bit uneasy—because, while female friendship is certainly central to the plot, it’s not necessarily the good kind, with much unspoken

rivalry and jealousy lurking darkly in the background.

The narrator is Jane, who’s been best friends with the glamorous Marnie since school. But now Marnie is getting engaged to Charles and, worse still, might even prefer being with him to being with her old pal. We know by page ten that Charles won’t make it out of the book alive, but Kay does a fine job of keeping us guessing why not, as Jane’s tone grows increasingly menacing. In most psychological thrillers, the narrator can be relied on to be unreliable. In this one, much of the chilling power comes from the fact that Jane tells the truth—but only to us.

The people around her, and especially poor Marnie, don’t have a clue what she’s up to.

Name the author Can you guess the writer from these clues (the fewer you need the better)?

1. She was shortlisted for the Booker Prize six times: a record only equalled last year

by Margaret Atwood.

2. She was an Oxford philosophy don.

3. Kate Winslet and Judi Dench played her in the same film, which showed her succumbing to Alzheimer’s disease.

Answer on p126

PAPERBACKS The Corner Shop by Babita Sharma (Two Roads, £9.99). The BBC newsreader grew up in an Asian corner shop herself—and beautifully mixes memoir with social history to explore a much-loved feature of British life.

The Fall of Gondolin by JRR Tolkien (HarperCollins, £8.99). New tale of Middle Earth created from Tolkien’s manuscripts. Possibly one for hardcore fans—but there are an awful lot of those.

A Fabulous Creation by David Hepworth (Black Swan, £9.99).

Celebratory history of the LP by the always entertaining and informative music journalist.

How It Was by Janet Ellis (Two Roads, £8.99). Although Ellis is a former Blue Peter presenter, her novels are far too good to be filed under “celebrity fiction”. This one traces a woman’s life with both tenderness and complete aplomb.

I, Robot by Peter Crouch (Ebury, £8.99). Another richly enjoyable helping of chatty, anecdoteladen autobiography from the ex-footballer turned podcast star.

BOOKS

RECOMMENDED READ

Forever Famous Think publicity stunts and celebrity gossip are a product of the digital age?

Think again!

D

ead Famous is one of those books which provides startling proof that today’s world isn’t so different from the past as we often think. Celebrity culture might seem a modern phenomenon, whose strange trappings and side-effects would have been unrecognisable to our ancestors.

Yet, as Greg Jenner exhilaratingly shows, this is simply not the case. The gossip column; celebrity interviews;

124 • APRIL 2020

kiss and tell stories; unwanted press intrusion; human beings transforming themselves into marketable commodities; the careful if not always successful control of image; the titillating, if not always true romances, scandals and feuds among the famous—all of these things go back not merely decades, but centuries.

And so, for that matter, do the complaints from more high-minded types about the mind-numbing triviality of the whole business.

In fact, not even the coining of compound names for celebrity couples is new. In the 1890s, when King Leopold of Belgium and the beautiful French dancer Cléo de Mérode were supposedly an item, they were known at the time as Cléopold.

Admittedly, the 19th century didn’t have Instagram. It did, however, have cartes de visites—photographs of the stars of the day that sold in their hundreds of thousands.

Jenner never forces the modern parallels—but, then again, he doesn’t really have to. Instead, he provides any number of entertaining and resonant stories of celebs from about 1700 to 1950: among them actors, actresses, musicians, heroes, criminals and people who were famous merely for being famous (because they have been around for centuries too).

This extract, from the turn of the last century, features the impresario Florenz Ziegfeld and his wife/client,

READER’S DIGEST

the singer Anna Held—as well as another age-old aspect of celebrity culture, publicity stunts...

‘‘

“Held was a saucepot with naughty songs and mesmerising fashion sense. And her promotional stunts played into that brand. The most obvious example was the kissing marathon in which she snogged fellow actor Julius Steger 156 times, until she collapsed ‘back in her chair—panting, exhausted-white as the flower that had fallen from her hair’. A journalist looked on, making notes, as did a doctor, who handily explained, using cutting-edge science, that women were more easily overcome by passionate emotions due to their fragile brains. Ziegfeld was also there. Instead of being jealous, he was delighted by the publicity, and later admitted that any day in which their names weren’t in the papers was a bad day.

The kiss-a-thon actually happened, but lots of their stories were simply lies. The most famous myth was that Held bathed in milk, like Queen Cleopatra. Ziegfeld sensed it was too obvious a claim to just blurt out in an interview, so he hired a freelance press agent to convince a dairy farmer to take part in the ruse. The farmer was instructed to sue Ziegfeld for unpaid bills, claiming he’d delivered large quantities of milk for use in Held’s intense beauty regime. The story was

OF COURSE, THE RISK OF CONSTANT EXAGGERATION IS THAT PEOPLE STOP TRUSTING YOU thus leaked to the press as a legal dispute, giving the appearance of a private scandal that Held wanted to hush up. Ziegfeld then sheepishly admitted it was true, thereby getting his story in the press, but made the tactical mistake of saying he’d refused to pay up because the milk was stale on delivery. Obviously, this annoyed the farmer, who was suddenly being publicly accused of selling out-of-date dairy produce, so he retaliated by revealing the scam and saying he’d never even heard of Anna Held.

Of course, the risk of constant exaggeration is that people stop trusting you, but Ziegfeld couldn’t help himself. When Held fell off her bike, Ziegfeld issued a press release declaring she’d leapt off it to save a

Dead Famous: An Unexpected History of Celebrity from Bronze Age to Silver Screen by Greg Jenner is published by W&N at £18.99 APRIL 2020 • 125

BOOKS

former judge from being killed by a team of runaway horses. Another popular story claimed she’d visited a waxwork museum and was so silently entranced by their realism that people thought she was a waxwork too. The press and public quickly learned to stop believing any of this stuff, but the coverage continued because it was fun. The truth didn’t really matter. Until suddenly, it did.

In October 1906, Held, Ziegfeld and their touring company were on their luxury sleeper train bound for a gig in Cleveland when the stateroom inside their private carriage was robbed. They awoke in the morning to discover that all their money and her collection of jewels—worth up to $300,000 (around $8.5 million today)—had been snatched. Held collapsed into hysterical screams.

The showman did his usual thing of notifying the media. Newsmen, however, had been lied to for years.

When the king of the ridiculous stunt came knocking, they folded their arms and rolled their eyes. Ziegfeld was the showman who cried wolf.

And the name of the author is…

’’

Iris Murdoch (three authors have been Booker shortlisted five times: Ian McEwan, Salman Rushdie and Beryl Bainbridge—who’s also the only Booker shortlistee to have played Ken Barlow’s girlfriend in Coronation Street).

126 • APRIL 2020

LISZTOMANIA*: MORE FROM DEAD FAMOUS “In the 1840s, when Franz Liszt merely entered a busy room, it seemed, according to Hans Christian Andersen, ‘as if an electric shock passed through it’. As well as astonishing crowds with his incredible musical virtuosity, the sharp-featured, long-haired Liszt became a tantalising fantasy, embarking on affairs with society beauties, and working his way through a conveyor belt of starstruck ladies who queued outside his room in disguise.

In Berlin, a doctor called Adalbert Cohnfeld reported Liszt’s fans treating the pianist with almost ecstatic reverence. They begged to kiss his hand, wore brooches and gloves branded with his image, poured the cold dregs of his halfslurped tea into their perfume bottles, and snatched up his abandoned cigar butts, retching from the heady dose of stale tobacco as they sucked what his sumptuous lips had sucked. The poet Heinrich Heine spotted noble ladies either passing out from delirium or squabbling over who got to take home his used handkerchief.” * A term, incidentally, coined in 1844

Books THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

Samra Habib is a Canadian writer whose new book, We Have Always Been Here, is out now, published by Riverrun Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin There aren’t many books that tug at my heartstrings like James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room. As someone who stayed in the closet for so long and was terrified of coming out, I relate deeply to the theme of gay shame. In the end, you are left with a profound message: hiding won’t save you. One of my favourite moments was landing in a dingy bar in Norway where there was a live reading and discussion of Giovanni’s Room in front of a captive audience. It was shortly after a breakup with my first girlfriend so I think the feelings for me were especially intensified.

P HOTO: YUULA BEN IVOLSKI

The Gentrification of the Mind by Sarah Schulman I’m obsessed with this book.

I feel like it’s a bit underrated but it’s my favourite Sarah Schulman work. It delves deeply into the principles of gentrification and brings very specific reference points of how gentrification impacted individuals with AIDS in New York in the 1980s and 90s.

It also makes the case for why the impact of AIDS and the lives lost because of it are so important to remember.

As someone who is always searching for queer elders and a sense of belonging, there’s so much to learn from this book.

FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/CULTURE

Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke This is such a beautiful meditation on growing up as a creative person. I wish this was the voice in my head when I was trying to navigate my way through life as a teen. It’s essentially a poetic manual for how to deal with life’s disappointments and find your voice for everyone with a creative spirit. It’s a guide to how to experience the world around you.

APRIL 2020 • 127

TECHNOLOGY

RADICALISE YOUR RADIATOR

Green Gadgets This month, Olly Mann explores ethical technology that can enhance your life and also protect the environment Olly Mann presents Four Thought for BBC Radio 4, and the award-winning podcasts The Modern Mann and Answer Me This!

128 • APRIL 2020

When we converted our lean-to kitchen into a home office, it seemed a neat idea to remove the false ceiling, and create more storage space.

Then winter arrived, and it was freezing in there. It seems the old ceiling had provided quite a bit of insulation, and we also hadn’t thought to increase the size of the radiator. The economic solution was SpeedComfort (£49.99), a little bank of silent electric fans that magnetically clip to the bottom of an existing radiator and distribute heat more quickly around the room. The device only powers-up when the radiator is on, thanks to an automatic thermosensor, so the company claim I’m saving 11 per cent on my energy bills. All I know is, it’s slightly warmer!

READY, OFFSET, GO Many environmentalists consider the idea of planting a tree in some other part of the world each time you catch a flight as simply shifting the burden of lifestyle change on to poorer people; neutralising rather than reducing your contribution to global warming. But it’s hard to criticise Offset Earth (offset.earth, subscriptions from £4.50 per month), a Bristol-based website/ app that visualises donations as a digital forest.

Click a tree on your profile, and you can track where your cash has wound up—a mangrove reforestation in Madagascar, for instance—in an attractive, shareable format. The social enterprise has planted over half a million trees in its first year, offsetting over 25,000 tons of carbon.

UPGRADE YOUR PHONE DISPOSAL When you get a new smartphone, what do you do with your old one? Mine enjoy various second lives as security cameras, sat-navs and music libraries. But, whatever you do, don’t leave your old devices languishing in a drawer, decreasing in value, and don’t chuck them in the bin—mobile handsets contain toxic chemicals, such as mercury and arsenic. A good recycling option is EcoATM (uk.ecoatm. com), who run vending machines in 25 locations across England. They scan your gadget, offer you a price, and instantly send payment to your PayPal. Then you can rest assured the phone is sold on to someone who actually needs it, or the materials responsibly reclaimed.

STIR IT UP Single-use coffee capsules are convenient, but the vast majority are not compostable, creating a cumbersome recycling process (posting pods back to the manufacturer, for example), rather undermining the product’s initial convenience, and resulting in billions of used packets going to landfill. So, some coffee enthusiasts are returning to their first love: the French press.

Scoof (£9.95) is a propeller-shaped gadget that helps you clean cafetières after use, salvaging the grounds to be used as fertiliser, and minimising the amount of water you need to wash out the pot. It also doubles as a decent stirrer, for a fully extracted cuppa.

APRIL 2020 • 129

FUN & GAMES

You Couldn’t Make It Up Win £30 for your true, funny stories!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

My two children stayed at their grandparents’ house for a night.

When they came back home, they woke up the next morning, came down to breakfast and started asking me for a bowl of “bye bye” cereal.

Non-plussed, I gave my mum a call. “Ah-ha” she laughed, “they mean Cheerios!”

JENNIE GARDNER, Somerset

My daughter recently went into labour early, and as her husband wouldn’t arrive back in time from a foreign business trip, I accompanied her. One moment made me smile when the midwife asked my heavily medicated daughter just before she was about to push, if she minded if some students watched. My daughter replied groggily, “Only if they're medical students!”

HAZEL BYRON, Liverpool

Upon her return, she announced that she wanted a “sorry” fish—but they didn't have any in store.

I’d never heard of that species, so I asked if she meant a guppy or a tetra or something similar.

She explained that there was a picture of the fish and under that it said “sorry”, then under that it said, “not available.”

STUART APPLEBY, submitted via email

My daughter recently visited an aquarium supply shop after having been inspired to get a fish tank.

130 • APRIL 2020

My wife has never been good at checking her predictive text before cartoon by Royston Robertson

My wife wanted an alarm clock for our bedroom and planned a trip to the shops to buy one. I had to smile when our youngest son commented, “you don't need a clock to wake you up mum, that's why you have me!”

LUKE JONES, Denbighshire

sending a message. I had emailed to inform her I had managed to rearrange a meeting to avoid a diary clash, and her delighted response was the one word: “Excrement!”

BOB KELLEY, Surrey

I overheard a conversation between my sister and my small nephew who asked her, “Mummy, when you make me toast, you put bread under the grill don't you?” She said that was right and he continued, “Well, those people next door must be very cruel… When I heard them talking to you the other day, they said after christening their baby, everyone's going to raise their glasses and toast it!”

DAVID WEBB, Sussex

My sister went to the library to borrow the book Animal Farm for her daughter. She couldn’t find it, so she asked the librarian for help. The librarian took her straight to the dairy and poultry section—I guess she hadn't read the book!

LOIS JONES, Denbighshire

I overheard my daughter speaking to our next-door neighbour over the garden fence. They asked her which parent was the boss in our house.

Chloe retorted, “Daddy.” But then added, “until Mummy gets home.”

JONI COOPER, London

I was explaining to my ten-year-old son that sometimes married couples declare their love for each other by having a second ceremony where they say their vows again to each other. He replied, “What? They say ‘A, E, I, O, U?’ ”

I was thrilled to find a baby hedgehog asleep in some hay in my garden.

I left it a bowl of milk and went back inside to tell my husband. He went to have a look and returned laughing.

When I asked why, he said it was a coconut shell—not a hedgehog at all!

NICKY TORODE, submitted via email

JANE WHITAKER, Kent APRIL 2020 • 131

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FUN AND GAMES IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR

Word Power April 6 is when the clans converge and the Scottish diaspora dons its kilts. Marked by pipe-band parades and highland dancers, Tartan Day celebrates the signing of Scotland’s Declaration of Independence in 1320.

Ready to fire up the bagpipes?

By Joan Page McKenna 1. bawbee—A: raucous laughter.

B: ornate costume jewellery.

C: copper coin of little value.

2. hyte—A: completely unhinged.

B: neat and well-organised.

C: festive outing.

3. ken—A: herd sheep using a

dog. B: catch in the act. C: have knowledge of.

4. bairn—A: unit of measurement

for weight. B: infant. C: state of drunkenness.

5. braw—A: impressive. B: lopsided

football victory. C: working-class residential area.

6. numpty—A: cold-storage room.

B: absent-minded person. C: harebrained scheme.

7. stashie—A: commotion.

B: sleeping berth on a train.

C: velvet-trimmed dinner jacket.

8. sleekit—A: mountainous landscape. B: penny-pinching businessman. C: cunning.

9. wadset—A: term of endearment for a clumsy friend. B: person who binds sheaves in the harvest field.

C: a mortgage.

10. bevvy—A: alcoholic beverage.

B: flock of geese flying in a V-formation. C: root vegetable.

11. kirk—A: elder statesman of

the community. B: church.

C: large meadow left unattended.

12. scunner—A: irrational dislike.

B: aggressive fishmonger.

C: unwelcome surprise.

13. graith—A: grazing plot for

calves. B: raging summertime thunderstorm. C: implements for work, travel or war.

14. fain—A: single-edged knife worn with a kilt. B: eager.

C: caretaker’s cottage.

15. boggin’—A: filthy. B: bump

or swelling after a blow. C: flatbottomed fishing vessel.

APRIL 2020 • 133

ANSWERS 1. bawbee—[C] copper coin of

8. sleekit—[C] cunning. Getting

little value. After the wedding, Gillian stopped to toss the screaming children a few bawbees for sweets.

Moynagh’s endorsement was a sleekit move to sway public opinion and influence the vote.

2. hyte—[A] completely unhinged.

9. wadset—[C] a mortgage. After the

Fiona was a little unsteady leaving the bar. “Don’t drive in this fog, missy! That’s a downright hyte idea,” the old bartender admonished.

3. ken—[C] have knowledge of.

Aisling was having second thoughts.

“Do you ken the highland terrain well enough to go hiking at night?” she asked her husband.

4. bairn—[B] infant. Kirsteen couldn’t take her eyes off the bairn in her sister’s arms. “He really looks like Dad,” she said.

5. braw—[A] impressive. “Alistair,

that’s a braw house you’ve got there, with so many rooms and outbuildings,” Abigail said.

stock market crashed, we put a wadset on the old manor house.

10. bevvy—[A] alcoholic beverage.

“Let’s go round to the pub and grab ourselves a few bevvies after work,” James suggested.

11. kirk—[B] church. The vicar took

great pride in maintaining the kirk grounds and polished pews.

12. scunner—[A] irrational dislike.

The new boss bought doughnuts for us on her first day, but Edna took a scunner to her from the get-go.

13. graith—[C] implements for work,

travel or war. The soldiers readied their graith for the march to battle.

6. numpty—[B]

absent-minded person. The villagers considered Craig a real numpty for constantly driving on the wrong side of the road.

7. stashie—[A]

commotion. The disputed lastminute goal at the football match caused a stashie.

134

WORD OF THE DAY* IMPANATE Embodied in bread Alternative suggestions: "This is what one imp does to another in order to make more imps" "The first words Nathan's biological father said to him."

14. fain—[B] eager.

The newlyweds were fain to stroll the beach hand in hand after dinner.

15. boggin’—[A] filthy. Hugh complained the rug in his flatmate’s room was absolutely boggin’ and stank.

VOCABULARY RATINGS 7–10: Fair 11–12: Good 13–15: Excellent

*POST YOUR DEFINITIONS EVERY DAY AT FACEBOOK.COM/READERSDIGESTUK

JIM O’CONNOR HITS TWO OF A BLOKES’ INTERESTS IN ONE BOOK Simply speaking, good food is what pleases and impresses. In his book, writer and educator Jim O'Connor uses a mix of larrikin humour and psychology, to show men how to impress in the kitchen by trusting their instincts and bringing their ideas and imagination together in clever ways. Let’s face it, what woman wouldn’t be impressed by a man who can cook? For men who find the kitchen threatening, his book "The Bloke's Guide to Brilliant Cooking: And How to Impress Women" is written to for you.

The book has three sections. First are the principles, followed by the processes and then lastly, the planning. Jim shows that cooking doesn’t have to be intimidating. He shows the reader how to make cooking fun, creative and satisfying, with unlimited possibilities.

For Jim, you don’t need a formal education at chef

school to elevate your level of cooking. All you need is an approach that helps you bring together what you already have in clever and impressive ways. As he says, "Brilliant cooking is what happens when the instincts, your imagination, and your head get on the same plate and tell the hands what to do in the kitchen."

Get into your kitchen and take Jim's book with you.

Start cooking like a bloke. Book copies are available at Amazon.com.

About the Author Jim O’Connor is an author and professional educator with a talent for creating brilliance from simple and complex subjects alike. This book began life as a university assignment in which O’Connor was challenged to teach a subject on which he knew little and one which many of them knew a lot about. The subject was cooking and the result impressive. Years later, the result of that challenge is this book.

www.theblokesguidetobrilliantcooking.com www.amazon.com/Blokes-Guide-Brilliant-Cooking-Impress/dp/1479734616/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1582598340&sr=1-1

Brainteasers Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles, then check your answers on p139

We Leave You Hanging

The Rainbow Game I shuffle eight cards: one with each of the six main colours of the rainbow and two grey. I lay them out face down. You select cards one by one. If you can pick all the colours of the rainbow before you pick a grey card, then you win.

What’s the probability of winning?

136 • APRIL 2020

(We Leave You Hanging, The Rainbow Game) Darren Rigby

Each of these paintings must be hung on the wall on one of the hooks shown. Naturally, the hook will go in the middle of the top edge of the painting so that it hangs straight.

Paintings can touch but cannot overlap. How can you hang all five at once without moving a hook?

FUN & GAMES

75

(Times Square and A-to-L Fit-In) Fraser Simpson; (The Good Life) Sue Dohrin; (Dog images) istock.com/UfimtsevaV

Times Square

63

Fill in each cell of the grid with a digit from 1 through 9. Each number outside the grid is the product of the digits in its row or column. The number 1 will appear exactly once in each row and column. Other numbers can be repeated, and not every digit from 1 through 9 will be used. Can you complete the grid?

64 42 80 98 60 27

The Good Life Five neighbourhood dogs are each enjoying one of their favourite activities. Based on the clues, can you figure out which pet is doing what?

Dogs Luca Ginger Nutmeg Pepper Bear

Activities Getting ears scratched Playing catch Taking a nap Burying a chew toy Going for a walk

A-to-L Fit-In Insert the letters from A to L, one per square, so that no two consecutive letters in alphabetical order are in squares that touch, not even at a corner. Four letters have been placed to get you started.

Clues: • Pepper is either playing catch or burying a chew toy.

• Neither Ginger, Luca nor Bear is on a walk.

• One of the dogs named for a spice is getting her ears scratched (and loving it).

• A dog who is not named for a spice is playing catch.

• Bear is getting some exercise.

J E H C

APRIL 2020 • 137

BRAINTEASERS

ACROSS 1 Cavalry soldier (7) 5 Sawbones (7) 9 Middle Eastern bread (5) 10 Game show player (9) 11 How bidding goes in bridge (9) 12 Topic (5) 13 Unintended discharge of a fluid (7) 15 Green-eyed (7) 17 Live together (7) 19 Offensive (7) 21 Money bag (5) 23 Where dolly mixture can be bought (5,4) 25 Eg, the DUKW (9) 26 Harvests (5) 27 Convent (7) 28 Packed (7) 138 • APRIL 2020

CROSSWISE Test your general knowledge.

Answers on p142

DOWN 1 Average (7) 2 Bone manipulator (9) 3 Long flat piece of timber (5) 4 Contemptible person (7) 5 Genuine (7) 6 Kinsfolk (9) 7 Best of a group (5) 8 Chats (7) 14 Lake Windermere town (9) 16 Picked up accidentally (9) 17 Skipper (7) 18 Bear witness (7) 19 Maritime (7) 20 Laid open to view (7) 22 Mature (5) 24 Trunk of the human body (5)

READER’S DIGEST

BRAINTEASERS ANSWERS

£50 PRIZE QUESTION Can you name the stadium and its location?

We Leave You Hanging

A

B

The Rainbow Game 1/28.

5 1 5 3 1 7 3 3 8 2 4 1 2 7 1 3 The Good Life Luca is taking a nap, Ginger is getting her ears scratched, Nutmeg is going for a walk, Pepper is burying a chew toy and Bear is playing catch.

A-to-L Fit-In

J L F E H C I B K A G D

0

Times Square

C

D

THE FIRST CORRECT ANSWER WE PICK WINS £50!* Email excerpts@readersdigest.co.uk

ANSWER TO MARCH’S PRIZE QUESTION A: Second Severn Crossing B: Tower Bridge C: Golden Gate Bridge D: Victoria Falls Bridge

AND THE £50 GOES TO… SHARON WALLIS, Manchester

FUN & GAMES

Laugh!

WIN £30

for every reader’s joke we publish!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

My parents forced me to learn the trumpet when I was a teenager.

I think I must have been the worst trumpet player in the world because I suck.

Seen on Reddit I recently found out that we all have multiple credit scores.

One said my credit score was “good”. The other was accurate.

Comedian TYSON COX

I recently took my ten-year-old niece along to a comedy show. Big mistake.

So much racism, misoygny and homophobia. Finally I said, “shut up, I can’t hear the show!”

Comedian SEB FAZIO 140 • APRIL 2020

The Beatles sure got away with a lot of silly lyrics. At the height of Beatlemania, when they came from the UK to the US, they released a song that goes, “I ain’t got nothing but love, girl. Eight days a week.”

I bet when Americans first heard that they thought, This is a groovy tune! And I have a lot to learn about the metric system…

Comedian JAMES ETCHISON

My parents got divorced when I was only seven days old.

So like many babies, my very first word was “Mama”, but my next five were, “told me to tell you.”

Seen on Reddit

I hate Russian dolls. They’re all so FULL OF THEMSELVES. Seen online

Timing Is Everything What’s the difference between a dirty bus station and a voluptuous lobster?

One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

Seen on Tumblr

THESE HILARIOUS PHOTOS WERE SNAPPED JUST AT THE RIGHT (OR WRONG) MOMENT via sadanduseless.com

Jesus fed 5,000 people with just two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.

Comedian MARK NELSON

My wife left me because she thinks I’m too insecure. No, wait, she’s back, she just went to get coffee. Seen on Reddit As a vegan, I think that people who sell meat are disgusting, but apparently people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.

Comedian ADELE CLIFF

I wasn’t particularly close to my dad when he died…which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine.

Comedian OLAF FALAFEL APRIL 2020 • 141

LAUGH

A woman is sitting at her late husband’s funeral when a man leans in and asks, “do you mind if I say a word?”

“Not at all,” she replies.

The man stands and says, “plethora”.

“Thanks,” the widow says. “That means a lot.”

Seen on Reddit

An employee was admiring his boss’s new car. When she noticed, she said, “I’m glad you like it, and if you work really hard next year, I’ll get another one.”

SUSAN DRY, Eastbourne When the big bad wolf converted to Buddhism, there was finally peace in the forest. Until one day, when screams of terror filled the air. A bear asked the animals running past him, “What’s happening now?”

“The big bad wolf,” a goat shouted back.

“He’s meditating!”

“So, isn’t that a good thing?”

“Noooo,” the goat bleated. “He’s become aware wolf.”

Submitted via email I looked longingly into my beloved’s eyes and whispered, “A, E, I, O, U… and sometimes Y.” The priest then turned to her and asked, “And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?”

Submitted via email Why do dogs float in water?

Because they’re good buoys.

Seen on Reddit

You’re As Cold As Ice Twitter users share times people made unintentionally devestating comments @NatalieSchuyler: I was at the DVLA getting my new license photo taken. The DVLA lady looked at it for a few seconds and said, “Aw, sweetie, do you want to try again?” @EdJervisUK: After my wife and I explained to my two-year-old daughter that her new sister was “In Mummy’s belly”, she looked at me and said, “Baby in Daddy’s belly too?” @Abby_Lampe: When I asked my mum how long I should cook a 25lb turkey, she replied that she didn’t think I had enough friends to use one up. @Icapes23: An Uber driver was trying to find me in a crowd. He called and asked, “Is that you in the white leggings?” I wasn’t wearing leggings. They were just my legs.

CROSSWORD ANSWERS Across: 1 Trooper, 5 Surgeon, 9 Pitta, 10 Panellist, 11 Clockwise, 12 Theme, 13 Leakage, 15 Envious, 17 Cohabit, 19 Obscene, 21 Purse, 23 Sweet shop, 25 Amphibian, 26 Reaps, 27 Nunnery, 28 Crowded.

Down: 1 Typical, 2 Osteopath, 3 Plank, 4 Reptile, 5 Sincere, 6 Relatives, 7 Elite, 8 Natters, 14 Ambleside, 16 Overheard, 17 Captain, 18 Testify, 19 Oceanic, 20 Exposed, 22 Ripen, 24 Torso.

142 • APRIL 2020

Trivia

By Paul Paquet 1. What plant is a symbol of nuclear disarmament because it can absorb radioactive cesium?

8. What Disney movie features a castle inspired by the Chateau de Chambord in France?

2. In 2019, what Canadian singer released her first Billboard No 1 album in more than 17 years?

9. The square root of two is a constant named after what mathematician and philosopher?

3. Which two independent states are entirely surrounded by Italy?

10. Japan’s southernmost prefecture is the birthplace of karate and is called what?

4. In Peanuts, which character was fiercely dedicated to Beethoven?

5. Which is the only country to have won both the women’s and the men’s FIFA World Cups?

11. What American actor goes by the stage name “Childish Gambino” when he’s performing music?

12. Which country has coastlines on the Caspian Sea, the Gulf of Oman and the Persian Gulf?

6. What Dutch master produced more than 142 paintings while he stayed at a psychiatric hospital?

7. Which “timely” Nicole Kidman film was based on the novel that won the 1999 Pulitzer Prize in Fiction?

15. Golf returned to the Olympics in 2016. Who won the first men’s gold medal in 112 years and hit the first Olympic hole in one?

13. Until he passed away at age 98 in 2018, Jerry Maren was the last survivor of the 124 actors who played Munchkins in what movie?

14. According to Nigella Lawson, what’s the “best meal in the world”?

Answers: 1. The sunflower 2. Céline Dion 3. San Marino and Vatican City 4. Schroeder 5. Germany 6. Vincent van Gogh 7. The Hours 8. Beauty and the Beast 9. Pythagoras 10. Okinawa 11. Donald Glover 12. Iran 13. The Wizard of Oz 14. Bread and cheese 15. Justin Rose APRIL 2020 • 143

LAUGH

Beat the Cartoonist!

IN THE MAY ISSUE

AI IN MEDICINE Think of a witty caption for this cartoon—the three best suggestions, along with the cartoonist’s original, will be posted on our website in mid-April.

If your entry gets the most votes, you’ll win £50.

Submit to captions@readersdigest.co.uk or online at readersdigest.co.uk/fun-games by April 7.

We’ll announce the winner in our June issue.

FEBRUARY’S WINNER

Find out how Artificial Technology can help with detecting early signs of Alzheimer’s and heart disease

GOODBYE TO MONOGAMY? Jessica Summers explores the way romantic relationships are transforming

+

Our cartoonist has been pipped to the post once again, as his caption, “Have you given any thought to legacy and sustainability?” couldn’t compete with our reader, Leonie Cannell, who won voters over with her funny suggestion, “He’ll never fly with those arms!” Congratulations Leonie!

144

cartoons by Peter A. King and Royston Robertson

COSTA RICA Sarah Kante discovers the off-the-beatentrack charm of Costa Rica’s lost world, Bahia Drake bay

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