Rawr | 2.27.2015

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2.27.15 Vol. 5 No. 22

‘He was a beautiful butterfly’

page 4

It’s a hop topic page 6-7

Repainting education page 8

Chasing chickpeas Haley Egan | Courtesy

horoscopes The Argonaut

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Your work in

Rawr illustration photography mixed media

2.27.15

Pisces 2/19-3/20 Apparently, because of the stars present at your birth, you are a fish. I recommend migrating to swampy areas and avoiding worms.

Cy Whitling | Rawr

paintings

Aries 3/21-4/19

Leo 7/23-8/22

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

sculptures

According to the Internet, you are ruled

by Mars. Now might be the time to apply for one of those one-way Mars colony trips.

Make like a lion and roar … or don’t.

Your roommates might not appreciate it.

The original Sagittarius was a half human, half horse with a bow. Good luck living up to that this week.

short fiction poetry

Taurus 4/20-5/20 Got milk? No, of course not, Taurus is a bull, not a cow. This week, avoid men in funky outfits with swords and red capes.

non-fiction Rawr is an alternative weekly publication covering art, culture, campus life and entertainment.

Gemini 5/21-6/21 Do you have a long lost twin? If not, chances are one of your socks does.

This week, be careful doing your laundry. You’re likely to end up with mismatched socks.

We are accepting all forms of art and creativity to be featured inside the publication or on the cover.

Cancer 6/22-7/22

Crabs are your spirit animal. Avoid seafood this week, and try not to be too irritable.

Email: arg-arts@uidaho.edu

Virgo 8/23-9/22 Apparently, the stars have lots of things to say about your future. All I can add is that you might want to wear a sweatshirt at some point this week.

Libra 9/23-10/22

Libra means “pound” in Latin. Too bad your zodiac isn’t a cool animal. Make up for it by aggressively bragging about your weight.

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 Scorpions are pretty neat animals.

Unfortunately, you are a person, not a poisonous arachnid. Channel some of this stingy energy into your homework.

Capricorn 12/22-1/19 Your sign is a goat. Goats might not seem very exciting, but many of them live in the mountains and some eat tin cans. We do not recommend trying this at home.

Aquarius 1/20-2/18 Your zodiac sign is named after a young boy Jupiter allegedly kidnapped and forced into slavery. Let’s stick with the lighter meaning of the word though.

Look out for Pisces, they might just be the fish to your tank.

Pandora station

Pandora may become obsolete with Spotify around, but I still find myself drawn back to the Internet radio site again and again. I especially love the Florence + the Machine station and the indie-ish songs it leads me to. Here’s a peek at some of the collection.

“Heavy in Your Arms” by Florence + the Machine

“The News” by Jack Johnson

Jack Johnson’s earlier work from the album Brushfire Fairytales might seem out place in an indie rock mix-tape. However, it shows up on the station every once in a while. “The News” is a powerful song to listen to. Johnson points out despite all the sad news every day, anchors on TV don’t react. They Claire Whitley don’t even bat an eye, or cry in sympathy.

Rawr

Naturally, the first song on the playlist is from Florence + the Machine.

This song, which uses the power of singer Florence Welch’s slightly raspy voice, drives home the point that love is heavy. It can weigh people down. The lyrics are dark, but the song is powerful.

“The Hanging Tree”

by James Newton Howard feat. Jennifer Lawrence For those familiar with the Hunger Games trilogy, this song was in Mockingjay part one. Jennifer Lawrence, who actually sang the song,

makes it sound beautiful. It is a strange song though, talking about meeting underneath the hanging tree, but the beauty of

“Yellow Flicker Beat” by Lorde it lies in its eerie lyrics.

Another song from the Hunger Games movies, “Yellow Flicker Beat” by Lorde has a different feel from “The Hanging Tree.” Lorde’s song suggests loneliness. People no longer cheer for her and instead she shuts them out. The song is depressing, but it is still eerily catchy.

“The Way I Am” by Ingrid Michaelson This song is beautiful. One of the few songs out there about being loved and accepted as the way you are. It is a short song, lyrical wise for

sure, but it doesn’t seem short when it’s playing. It’s a cute little song everyone should listen to.

“Love Of An Orchestra” by Noah and the Whale Noah and the Whale is a fun name for a band, and their music is fun, too. This

song only has three different sets of lyrics, which is fun, if not a little redundant. It is all about how when a singer is alone, he carries songs in his blood, so he has all the love of an orchestra.

Claire Whitley can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu

Rawr

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Is winter coming?

Weak snowpack causes problems for Northwest resorts While much of Moscow rejoices in the unseasonably warm weather, some are preparing for the repercussions of this mild winter.

It’s easy to revel in the heat and dance around in shorts when February brings temperatures reminiscent of some Junes, but unfortunately this milder winter comes with a price.

Ski resorts throughout tling Cy Whi the Northwest Rawr were hit with one of the worst winters they’ve ever had. Some have even had to close during what would usually be some of their peak months.

This doesn’t just hurt a bunch of skiers and snowboarders who are bummed about conditions. These areas help drive local economies and employ many seasonal workers.

Unfortunately, there is not much anyone can do to control this. It’s hard to point fingers and lay blame for a lack of snow. This makes things all the more difficult, since the problem can’t simply be fixed by firing the people responsible or implementing new marketing strategies.

This winter hasn’t been wimpy in terms of precipitation, the fundamental problem has been the temperatures are too warm for snow. This means whatever snow these resorts may have received early in the season is weakened with every successive rain storm.

Resorts have responded with increased snowmaking, but even this is not enough in the face of the warm temperatures the Northwest has seen recently. This combination of little snow and too much rain has left resorts operating with limited terrain, leading to a drop in skier visits.

With each successive week, the weathermen pray for a cold front and some precipitation. Instead of the pipe-freezing, hair-raising cold the months of January and February usually bring, we have

Claire Whitley | Crumbs

been met with gentle breezes and sunny days that make spring seem to be right around the corner.

Don’t get me wrong. I love gentle breezes and sunny days just as much as the next person, but in my mind one of the things that makes Moscow great is its aggressive but well-defined seasons.

This is becoming the winter that never really came, or the year I didn’t need snow tires.

Luckily, we still have a few months left before all hope is gone. This season still has potential to turn itself around, and if past years are any indicator, it would not be too surprising to see a snow-heavy March. Unfortunately, this could still be too late for some resorts who have been forced to limit operations or even close during what would usually be some of the best months of the year.

So go ahead and rejoice, no one minds wearing shorts in February. Just remember this kind of winter can have hidden effects. A year like this, with its early spring and general lack of winter, has repercussions not only on everyday apparel, but also on businesses, jobs and the general economics of the region.

Cy Whitling can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu

On Stands March 9

A Crumbs recipe Slow cooker beef stew Finding good reasons to use a slow cooker is hard, especially when some recipes call for a lot of preparation. Beef stew is not one of those recipes. After cutting up the ingredients and lightly cooking the meat, it can be left alone until after work or class.

Ingredients n 1 pound beef stew meat n 2 potatoes n 3 large carrots n 1 cup peas n 2 cups beef broth n 1 teaspoon onion powder n 1 teaspoon sage n 1 teaspoon rosemary n 1 teaspoon basil n 1 teaspoon garlic n 1 teaspoon thyme n 1 teaspoon oregano n 1 teaspoon salt n 1 teaspoon pepper n 2 bay leaves

Directions 1. Lightly brown beef in a frying pan 2. Chop potatoes and carrots, and any other vegetables wanted for the stew 3. Combine all the meat and veggies in a slow cooker 4. Add broth and all of the spices, including bay leaves 5. Turn on low and cook for 10 hours 6. After eight hours, check the taste and add any more seasoning to taste 7. Let cook the rest of the time 8. Remove bay leaves and serve warm

The Argonaut

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2.27.15

It’s a hop topic Silas Whitley Crumbs

Welcome to the Hop Vine — column on all things related to beer. Topics include, but are not limited to beer reviews and comparisons, homebrewing tips and recipes, events around town and reader Q-and-A.

Beer Comparison This week, I compared two India Pale Ales (IPAs) that are fairly common in the area. For those who don’t know the difference between an IPA and regular pale ale, IPA beer uses more hops than pale ale and is more bitter as a result. They can also be more floral, fruity, spicy, piney, earthy, skunky etc., depending on the hop varieties used.

The two IPAs I chose were Odell Brewing Company India Pale Ale from Fort Collins, Colorado, and Firestone Union Jack IPA, from Firestone Walker Brewing Company, Paso Robles, California. These beers were both the same price, $1.79, which is not a bad deal.

The Firestone weighs in at 7.5 percent alcohol by volume, ABV, compared to the Odell 7 percent.

Both beers were similar in malt flavor. They both had a crisp and clean finish. They both were roughly the same color, but the Odell beer was slightly darker. They had about the same amount of head. To an inexperienced IPA drinker, they might be passable as the same.

The most noticeable difference between the two is the hops used. The Firestone IPA was more upfront with its hop flavor, so it was noticeable right away, while the Odell hop flavor took a second to hit the palate. The Odell IPA hops were more citrusy and had a slightly sweeter taste than the Firestone hops, which were somewhat floral and spicy.

Overall, I enjoyed both beers equally.

I think they are very similar in base, but both display the versatility of hop use in beer making. Try each to decide which beer is best. Those who like semi-subjective tables to base purchase

Silas Whitley | Crumbs

Odell IPA and Firestone Walker Union Jack IPA display the versatility of hop use in beer. Two similar, excellent choices for IPA enthusiasts.

decisions on, I’ve designed one with the most basic components college students are likely to consider when buying alcohol ... with the exception of both smoothness and taste, but I included them anyways.

Homebrewing Tips This week is a good week to touch on hop use in homebrew. While trying to brew an IPA or any other hoppy beer, make sure to choose the right type of hops for the desired style of brew. For instance, from experience, using Simcoe hops for a dark beer is likely not the best choice. Just because you like a certain type of hops doesn’t mean it will go well with the beer’s style.

Make sure also the hops complement each other. A good way to do this would

be to use hop substitution chart, or to read the description of the hops on the packages to make sure they are similar.

Another tip for hop use is if flavor is wanted but the bitterness isn’t — don’t add hops to the brew until 30 minutes of boil time is left. The 60 to 30 minute time frame is used for bittering (generally high alpha acid) hops. Nothing requires hops to be added at 60 minutes. Try experimenting with hop time additions.

Also, don’t be afraid to dry hop.

Flavors can be extracted from hops that otherwise would be altered during the boiling process. When dry hopping — adding dry hops to secondary fermentation — don’t worry about introducing bacterial infections, as the alcohol content of beer and establishment of a

X means more

= means equal

Beer Smoothness Taste ABV Cost

— means less

Firestone

Odell

= = X =

= = — =

high yeast population should prevent bacterial growth.

Miscellaneous Questions? Comments? I’ll be happy to answer them in my next article.

Silas Whitley can be reached at crumbs@uidaho.edu

Rawr

5

Rawr reviews

Fifty Shades of laughs Best comedy goes to ...

Aly Soto rawr

So, I finally watched “50 Shades of Grey.”

It was exactly how I pictured it, a basic, badly written romance with pointless sex scenes thrown in. I had to keep my hand over my mouth to keep myself from Aly laughing out loud at the entire thing.

This was the kind of bad cinema I viewed for the sole purpose of making fun of it, which was why it was hard to write a serious review about it. I’ll discuss parts of the movie, such as the acting, the soundtrack, etc., but I won’t go into BDSM. That’s for viewers to look into on their own time.

I’ll start with the story.

College senior Anastasia (Ana) Steele fills in for her sick friend by doing an interview with Christian Grey, a selfproclaimed dominant who doesn’t do romance. Seeing that it’s the only way to be with him, Ana agrees to be his submissive, finding out in the end that she can neither be in nor wants the kind of relationship Christian is trying to push on her.

The story originating from Twilight fanfiction doesn’t bother me. If you think about it, a lot of popular literature has been inspired by other works of fiction. However, I can obviously see the connections between this piece and the story it was based off of.

This tells me the movie and books are not only un-original,

but also uninspired. I can easily replace each and every character in the movie with their counterparts from the Twilight series. Essentially, I’m just watching an R-rated version of Edward and Bella.

Some may argue it’s a completely different story because there aren’t any vampires in it, but ask anyone whose job it is to extensively analyze literature, and they will tell you the vampire element often stands as a symbol for sex. The sex scenes and sexual innuendoes present throughout the film just replaced the Soto sparkly skin and the Rawr thirst for blood known to fans of Stephenie Meyer. I could spend time complaining about other plot points, but then again, the story was never meant to be taken seriously, so I won’t judge it too harshly.

As for the acting, I felt like the casting was so-so.

Dakota Johnson did a decent job portraying Anastasia. I’ve seen her in other movies, and while I can’t say she’s a great actor, I’ve never had anything to complain about her either.

I always try to consider not only the actor’s talent, but the script and direction they were given as well whenever I evaluate a performance. I think Dakota would have been better in the movie if the script, or even the story, were better written.

The actors who played side characters such as Kate Kavanagh (Eloise Mumford ) and Grace Trevelyan Grey (Marcia Gay Harden) also did nicely. I didn’t find anything to complain about them and felt they were well cast.

Jamie Dornan on the other hand was an effort to watch and not cringe. You could see

Aly Soto | Rawr

the tension in his acting, as if he was struggling to get through each scene. After watching his performance, I can see why he wasn’t the first choice for Christian Grey.

Set design and costumes where pretty much what I expected. I felt they fit the style and mood of the book, but were unrealistic in some areas. Dream all you want, there is no way two recent college graduates could afford an apartment like Ana’s and Kate’s in Seattle unless you have a lot of money.

Then again, as I stated before, this story was never meant to be realistic.

The soundtrack is actually worth looking into. Some of the music I wouldn’t have

picked for the movie, but they’re still good tracks to listen to nonetheless. Beyoncé made a few contributions, and she’s always been a personal favorite of mine.

In the end though, I can’t tell you whether this movie is good or not. “Fifty Shades of Grey” is one of those movies that depends on the reason for seeing it. Anyone viewing it as a fan of the series will probably like it. The characters may not be as pictured in the book, but I’m confident fans will at least be satisfied.

Anyone seeing it as someone who wants to find and point out every piece of evidence that the film is encouraging abusive relationships will obviously hate it. I can see

where the concern is coming from and can’t say I’m not relieved at the ending. I will suggest everyone does some research on the differences between BDSM and domestic violence, as it is important to know the differences and how to spot them.

If however, someone is like me and loves to make fun of bad writing, below-average acting and cheesy scenes, I think it’s worth it to check it out once and rent it when it comes out on DVD. Make sure to have friends who share the same sense of humor, and have fun sharing laughs between bowls of popcorn.

Aly Soto can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu

Rawr

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pg 6-7

'We're all connected' Idaho alumna raising money to repaint education in Republic of Georgia

Claire Whitley rawr

The decrepit building is from the early 1900s and looks more like a prison than a school. Blank walls are worn and falling down, some windows are still intact, while others have been replaced with boards. Paint is peeling off a building that was on fire years ago — its walls disintegrating, rotten floorboards sagging.

“Those schools are so gloomy, it’s like teaching in a prison,” University of Idaho alumna Haley Egan said.

On her first day as a teacher at an elementary school, Egan said she thought she had the wrong building. However, there was one room that offered solace — the room in which Egan taught Georgian children English.

Egan is a third-generation Vandal from Boise with degrees in environmental science and Spanish.

She graduated May 2014 and went to the Republic of Georgia to teach English during the fall 2014. She begins graduate school this fall at Oregon State University, and will study environmental and social justice ethics.

Egan said her classroom in the Republic of Georgia school was the only classroom with a whiteboard she saw during her four-

We’re all connected.

Even though there are 7,000 miles between us, we are still connected and we’re all human."­­ Haley Egan

month stay. The children she taught, even though their surroundings were poor, were always excited to learn.

Egan’s interest in education and developing nations began in high school. She wanted to improve her Spanish, so her teachers put her in contact with an Ecuadorian pen pal. When Egan came to UI, she said she learned about a research opportunity in the same Ecuadorian town where her pen pal lived.

“I was like, ‘Well, I have to go,’” Egan said.

The project she worked on during her internship was genetic research on the Andean bear, which Egan continued to study throughout her years at UI, eventually writing her senior thesis. Yet, it

wasn’t the Andean bear that stuck with Egan.

“The science was cool,” Egan said. “But I realized I was more interested in the human issues. Mostly, I was interested in education.”

Egan said it didn’t seem fair how people in Ecuador didn’t have the same access to education she had. When she studied abroad in Peru, Egan saw many of the same issues. Because she was born in the U.S., Egan got an education she took for granted for most of her life, she said.

“There were many, many people that desired an American education and just couldn’t get it,” Egan said. “It made me feel so selfish and undeserving.”

She said her epiphany changed everything, and Egan realized she wanted to spend her life trying to improve education in developing countries.

The interest in Europe came from some UI classes in which she learned of countries trying to gain membership to the European Union, but had yet to be accepted. Georgia was one of those countries. She said a friend later told her about program in which students could travel to Georgia to teach English.

“I was like, ‘OK, I’m going to go to Georgia. That sounds great,’” Egan said. “So I pulled out my laptop … and started applying.”

The program Egan participated in focused on bringing Western ideas to rural schools in Georgia.

Haley Egan | Courtesy

University of Idaho alumna Haley Egan participated in a program in which she taught English to students in the Republic of Georgia. Egan is raising money in order to return to Georgia and begin painting murlas in as many schools as she can. She hopes art will inspire students and teachers to learn and be creative with projects in the schools and communities. Her crowd-funding project has passed its minimum goal, but Egan wants to raise more money to affect more schools and chidren in Georgia. She plans to go to Georgia in April before attending graduate school at Oregon State University.

The English teachers in Georgia know grammar rules, but don’t know how to speak English well, Egan said. She said the children knew all the rules, but couldn’t answer basic questions.

Egan was supposed to return this spring to teach more, but she said a problem with her Visa forced her to stay stateside.

“That’s when I started thinking about what more I could do for the schools,” Egan said.

Through a website called Kick-

starter, a crowd-funding platform, Egan is raising money to fund a trip back to Georgia. The goal she set to raise is $1,500, even though she said she hopes for twice the asking amount. She just passed her goal and has $1,578. Egan still hopes to raise more money by the end of her program March 4.

Egan is more interested in having a large number of backers. She said if 100 people each donate $1, Kickstarter would notice the large number of backers and help pro-

mote the project.

“The smallest amount really does help,” Egan said.

The funds would go toward supplies for Egan and another teacher to travel to different schools and paint murals to inspire school children and teachers to continue prioritizing education. She said she wants to use art, because in Georgia she found art was an effective way to communicate with the children.

Egan’s parents asked her why she wanted to go to another coun-

try to improve their lives when there were plenty of things wrong with education in Idaho. Egan said while people or politicians in the U.S. choose to have a bad education, people in other countries don’t have a choice.

“We’re all connected,” Egan said.

“Even though there are 7,000 miles between us, we are still connected and we’re all human.”

Claire Whitley can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu

8

The Argonaut

2.27.15

Masen Matthews | Rawr

The magic of garbanzo beans One bean, so many functions

and round out as a filling staple food without containing extra calories. They can be bought at most grocery stores in canned or bulk varieties for a low price.

One way to eat garbanzo beans is by themselves.

There’s a common phrase thrown around about With a canned package, simply rinse the beans and beans being a magical fruit. apply them to a salad. They can be eaten comWhile beans may not actually be fruit, pletely on their own, too, although some may these legumes serve important functions, like find the blunt taste of a mouthful of beans providing protein and sustaining a massive offsetting. Regardless, fans of other bean-based portion of the world’s population. dishes like edamame would surely feel right The rundown of beans in the world today at home. would end in a long list full of side-by-side In terms of actual cooking, one of the most comparisons and advantages, but the garbanzo popular ways to consume garbanzo beans is Masen bean — otherwise known as the chickpea—is in the form of hummus. Hummus is a creamy, Matthews versatile and delicious, and has a variety of protein-filled spread that goes well on toast, Rawr different applications and uses. pitas, crackers and more. With a can of garAccording to Livestrong.com, garbanzo banzo beans, a few spices, some tahini and beans provide a large amount of calcium, zinc, protein water, a delicious hummus can be made in minutes. and other vital nutrients. While they may be substanMoscownians can also sample a hummus pita at tial and filling, they’re also low in overall fat content Mikey’s Gyros downtown to taste some of the best

hummus in the region.

Another way to have garbanzo beans is in the form of a loaf, bread or burger. There are many recipes that call for a combination of cooked brown rice and garbanzo beans with other spices and vegetable chunks to make veggie burgers. These recipes and guides can be found on many vegan and vegetarian sites, and the substitute for meat proves delicious for plant-eaters and meat-eaters alike. Local restaurant Nectar has a delicious garbanzo bean burger on their menu for those who are curious or anxious to try a hearty meat substitute with all of the health benefits and less fat and oil.

Garbanzo beans may be magic after all. Using the Internet or a cookbook, one can find a wide array of recipes utilizing the legume. With the right combination of grains, herbs and spices, garbanzo beans can take food into a foray of adventurous new territory.

Masen Matthews can be reached at crumbs@uidaho.edu

Rawr

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Vandalizing desserts

UI cooking class makes healthy desserts

Patrick Hanlon rawr

A large number of students buy and cook their own food while going to school.

Marissa Rudley, campus dietician, said she wants to help students by providing inexpensive, healthy options and recipes through her monthly cooking class.

At the last University of Idaho Vandalizing the Kitchen cooking class, Rudley demonstrated how to make desserts

with a healthy twist.

Rudley showed a full classroom of students how to make oatmeal banana muffins and a healthy chocolate milkshake. Each oatmeal banana muffin contains 88 calories, while one serving of the chocolate milkshake contains 240 calories.

“These muffins are a great portable breakfast that you can take with you to class,” Rudley said. “They’re also the perfect snack.”

While making the muf-

hear the

fins, Rudley shared a few tips about purchasing bananas and how to mash bananas before peeling them. Rudley said using bananas helps curb sugar use in recipes and provides a healthy, sweet taste for muffins and milkshakes.

“You can throw anything you like in the muffins,” Rudley said. “Today, we’re adding chocolate chips and Craisins.”

Rudley also demonstrated how to make a simple chocolate milkshake with bananas,

cocoa powder, almond milk and chia seeds. She also taught the class a recipe for Greek yogurt cheesecake dip.

Rudley provided the students with calorie counts of each recipe she demonstrated and gave them some shopping tips about various ingredients.

In honor of February being Healthy Heart month, she also provided a list of heart-healthy grocery items.

“These recipes are great for desserts,” Rudley said. “But you

can even eat them for breakfast.”

UI student Chris Masciotra said he enjoyed the class and thought Rudley did a great job.

“She was able to show us cheap healthy desserts that were really good as well,” Masciotra said.

The next Vandalizing the Kitchen “Simply Stir-fry” takes place at 4 p.m., March 25 in the Student Recreation Center classroom.

Patrick Hanlon can be reached at crumbs@uidaho.edu

Being a Happy Friday spirit

roar.

Friday.

Inside the Argonaut.

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Danlin Li | Rawr

The Argonaut

10

2.27.15

Friday Fiction

Danlin Li | Rawr

Gossip in the Woods (Continued) Kelly P. Vickers rawr

Previously in “Gossip in the Woods:” “New humans from the clearing are playing hook the fish with a stick.

Looks like the tall human caught a mini one,” Wolf said.

“I’m gonna sneak into their cave and see if they got anything good. You in, Bear?” Chipmunk asked.

Continued: “I am kind of hungry, now that you mention it.”

Bear and Chipmunk snuck off into the clearing to look for some human food. Human food was always a treat.

For one, you couldn’t find peanut guts in a jar or pre-squished berries out in the wilderness. Second, without fail, there was always meat that looked like short smooth sticks or round flat slabs of meat already cleaned from the carcass. One time, Doe found a huge wad of leafy green stuff and she said it was better than anything she had ever tasted.

After a while, Champ kicked at the water, causing it to splash all over the taller human. The movement scared all the fish away. Champ threw his fish stick onto the bank and splashed out of the stream with his front legs crossed. He shouted out some mumbo jumbo to the taller human and began walking toward the clearing.

“Oh craaap, they got to get out of theeeere!” Ram exclaimed out of nowhere.

“Go away, Ram!” they said. Ram hung his horns and clopped off again.

“Hawk, you can get to them the fastest and it won’t be that bad if they see you,” Wolf said.

“Geez, OK, no matter if they see me.

I’m just a stupid bird.”

She flew off toward the clearing.

Wolf and Doe walked back to the big cluster of trees and waited for the rest to come back.

“Mutt.”

“Lunch meat.”

“Crap eater.”

“Dead meat.”

“Really? Is that all you got? Meat insults?” Doe quipped.

“Sorry, that was uncalled for. Instincts, what can I say?”

“I’ll give you two bucks if you can give her a little kiss without eating her,” Moose stepped through the trees and joined them.

“Two bucks? That’s a hefty bargain.

I can only eat one at a time, so they would have to be on different days, but other than that you got a deal.”

“Ah, hell no. No one is licking my face and ain’t nobody is gonna eat nobody,” Doe interjected.

“What are you guys doing anyhow?”

Moose asked.

“A couple of humans are camped in the clearing, but they went to hook some fish, so Chipmunk and Bear went to find food in their cave, but now Champ is heading back, so Hawk went to warn

them and bring them back,” Wolf said.

“Well the humans are definitely back at their camp, but something else is going on, because they are grabbing boom-boom sticks,” Moose said.

All of sudden Chipmunk scurried up the nearest tree and Hawk flew onto a branch, folding her wings over her eyes.

They could hear Bear growling as he ran toward them.

“Run! RUN!” Moose backed up into the trees, trying to blend in and Doe pranced off deeper into the woods. Wolf hesitated and considered taking the offensive approach before he heard a loud bang and bolted into the trees.

Bear circled around and faced the two humans head on.

“Please, please don’t!” He reared up on his rear and waved his paws in the air. “I surrender! I’m sorry for taking your food!”

With a loud crack, everything went silent. Bear put his paws down and swayed with the evening breeze rustling the trees. Then he flopped on the ground, a big ball of black glossy fur.

Another crack and Bear twitched. The humans approached and Bear didn’t do anything except bleed through his snout. The humans looked at each other and Champ gave a whooping sound. They wrapped their paws around each other and Champ jumped up and down.

“We did it, dad! On our first day! We got a bear!”

“I can’t believe it.”

“I’m sorry I said you were lame.

You’re not lame, you’re the best dad ever! Holy moly, this guy is huge!”

“Let’s go back down and grab the tarp and ATV so we can drag him back down to the camp site.”

As the tall human walked off with Champ skipping alongside him, Hawk, Chipmunk, Moose and Wolf peered out of the woods and approached Bear.

“Well that’s bad luck,” Moose said.

“I feel kind of bad that I asked him to go get the food with me, ya know. ‘Cause this wouldn’t have happened if we would have just backed off and watched from a distance, but no, I just had to find out if there was anything good to eat from their cave, which there was. I mean, we found tons of stuff before …”Chipmunk’s chatter died off.

“He looks so … fake,” Hawk said as she pecked at the body for good measure.

“Maybe I should just tear off a leg or something. They won’t be able to eat the whole thing, right?” Wolf said.

“Nah, he’s a huge sucker. I think it’d be safe,” Moose said.

“Psst! Yo, you idiots, they is comin’ back so y’all better get out of there,” Doe warned them from a hiding spot in the cluster of trees.

They all slunk back and watched the humans roll Bear onto a blue piece of material and roll away on a strange looking animal.

“Aaaat least the kid looks haaaaaappy,” Ram said.

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Genghis Khan ordered the murder of an entire city of over 1.75 million people, because one of the citizens killed his son-in-law.

The fat and round “laughing Buddha” isn’t a depiction of Gauthama Buddha at all, but one of a Chinese deity called “Budai.”

Human muscles are limited by our brain.

We actually have the strength to move cars and boulders.

People pace while talking on the phone because they don’t have visual feedback.

The body reacts by moving.

Glitterati 1. Wealthy or famous people who conspicuously attend fashionable events

Example: The glitterati decorated the red carpet last week, during the Oscars.

In Japan, the shutter sound of iPhone cameras cannot be switched off, even in silent mode.

The Japanese are afraid of people taking upskirt pictures in the subways.

If ramen was the only food available in the world, people would only spend $140 a year on food. The average American spends nearly $8,000 on food each year.

11

D R WO K From wtffacts.com

E E W

The Colossally Amazing Adventures of Norbert (and Friends) by Samantha Brownell Ba Da Da-da-da, doobied doobied do!

JAZZ FEST!

Complete with Jazz Hands!

Rawr

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2.27.15

We appreciate our faculty and staff!

Thank you for all that you do for the University.

- The Idaho Commons and Bruce Pitman Center Idaho Commons: 885 . 2667 info@uidaho.edu

Bruce Pitman Center: 885 . 4636 www.sub.uidaho.edu