The curves and overlapping letters speak to creativity and approachability.
The double lines represent the journey we ' re on togetheras mothers and in our coaching relationship.
Arch shapes throughout my branding reflect the welcoming environment and support I give my clients throughout the ups and downs of motherhood.
COMING SEPTEMBER 2023
There is nothing better than community when you are trying to learn new concepts and implement them in your life. We all need a village and with today’s technology it is easier than ever before to connect with likeminded mothers and women seeking to live intentional lives.
Much like a book club, our Magazine Club will focus of the current issue of Raising Confident Mothers and the concepts taught each month. Others will benefit from your questions and insights. You will make new connections and receive personal coaching. I can’t wait!!
I am so glad you are here. The journey you have started is one of the most valuable things you will ever do for yourself and your family The world we live in is a little topsyturvy at the moment, but that doesn't mean you have to live a topsy-turvy life It is possible to live an intentional life filled with peace even when things don't always go your way. Even when those around you are struggling to find their way. This is why we need you. We need you, we need your
talents, your thoughts, your opinions and your light. As you learn to live a more intentional life, you will develop greater self-confidence that will allow you to share your light and your gifts with your family and your community The world needs more mothers living intentional lives, creating the vision of their dreams and trusting the impressions on their hearts. Join us as we raise confident mothers.
Lacey Jones
Seeking to numb emotional discomfort with outside sources will create greater discomfort Learn what buffering is and gain awareness of where it appears in your life
DR.
After losing both her parents in high school, Rachel relied on the guidance of strong, dedicated women to help her move forward and build her home-based salon
Giving your life to medicine doesn't have to rob you of joy, connection, peace or family
Dr
Akkanti shares the importance of creating healthy boundaries with intention
afoundationforintentionalliving
The circumstances of your life are the things that people say and do.
You have a thought about the things people say and do.
Your thought tells your body to generate a certain feeling within you.
While feeling that emotion, you take certain actions or inactions.
Before we dig too far into our new journey together, I need you to have and understand one of the most valuable tools I use when working with my clients. I was first introduced to the CTFAR model, aka the model, years ago while trying to sort out the messiness of raising our young family, moving to a new city, trying to help my husband establish his career, dealing with extended family dynamics, serving in our church community and hanging tight to my own personal goals and dreams. I had stumbled into a podcast from Brooke Castillo and the Life Coach School and quickly binged all the episodes while folding laundry and running our household. I was determined to become certified to teach the model and I did in 2021. The model seeks to show that our circumstances are neutral, meaning they do not create our emotions. In other words, no thing or person can make us feel a certain way. But rather, our thoughts about that thing or person generate an emotion within us. From that emotional state we take action or inactions which create a result for us. The real kicker is when you come to understand that your results directly mirror your thought process. This means that others do not control your emotions. It's liberating and empowering. It means that you get to decide how you think, how you feel, how you act and what result you create when others do or say things you don't agree with. It means that no matter your life circumstances, you can intentionally create the life you want. Here's how it works: C T F A R
Your actions create a result that directly reflects the thought you chose. Your thoughts are your greatest power.
It will take time to truly understand how powerful this model is but don't let that stop you from jumping in and testing it out. I'm here for you and I can't wait for you to see the value of the work.
When our kids are young, we typically pack their overnight bags for family vacations. We ensure that they have enough socks and underwear, and we give them extras just in case there's an accident. We double check the weather and we throw in a sweatshirt for chilly evenings. We pack the swimsuits and the dress clothes, ensuring each piece is accounted for. It's a responsibility we accept so they have what they need. As our children grow older, the responsibility shifts. We go from packing the bag to writing packing lists for them to follow, we double check their attention to detail and eventually we allow natural consequences to take course as our children assure us they know what they are doing. Their bags are packed, they are ready to go.
Just as we packed our children's travel bags, our parents once packed our emotional backpacks. They modeled emotional behaviors to the best of their ability and sent us on our way. But did anyone ever teach us how to repack those bags as we experienced new circumstances and developed our independence? Chances are, it's time for you to reevaluate and repack your emotional backpack to carry you into emotional adulthood. Use the worksheet on the next page to decide what's working for you and what needs to be left behind as you develop your emotional independence.
Your parents did the best they could with the emotional tools they had. Ponder on these questions as you strengthen your emotional independence.
What do you believe about your life?
What do you believe about yourself?
What are the lessons your parents taught you?
What do you believe about your dreams coming true?
What do you believe about your ability to create what you want?
Why do you have your current results in your life?
NEED HELP?
Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.
What do you need to believe in order to get the results you want?
Hugs, High Fives and So Much Love!
Is it possible to take a humble college hobby and turn it into a thriving fashion boutique? While also building an engaged community, raising a family and creating something that goes beyond just selling clothes? If your name is Lindsay Heyneman then the answer is yes! You may have seen Lindsay's online fashion community, Lettie Boutique, while scrolling thru Facebook or desperately searching for something cute to wear in your family pictures Lindsay has a passion for empowering women. Her unofficial mission statement of 'Hugs, high fives, and so much love!' is evident in how she and her team respond to the challenges of running a business while also raising their families. Lindsay's keen understanding of who she is has shaped her interactions with her customers, vendors, and team allowing her to build a culture of support and friendship. As an inner child coach, she has a passion for empowering women She has organized events, trips, and retreats to help women embrace their self-worth Lindsay understands the challenges and victories of juggling motherhood and a successful business. She is seeking to teach her daughters the value of lasting self-care and determination as she opens her one-of-a-kind retail store in Pocatello, Idaho in the coming weeks. Thru this ten year journey, Lindsay has learned a lot about herself, her relationship with God, and her capabilities. She recently hosted a Lettie Disney Day in which women from all over the country came together in one of the most magical places on earth Many of whom arrived on their own seeking to develop new and lasting friendships with others in attendance The experience did not disappoint
Lindsay is also seeking to develop an online Lettie directory so that when members need help they have a resource to turn to It was one of Lindsay's recent requests seeking help for a Lettie tribe member that caught my attention and I realized she needed to be on the podcast During our early morning conversation, I was able to truly understand Lindsay's genuine love for others. A love that comes only from knowing her own self-worth. Our conversation goes live on the podcast on July 5, 2023 and you won't want to miss it. Lindsay goes more in depth on her journey to opening the new store and she shares the most tender story about one of her dear vendors. Grab the tissues, because it is beyond heartwarming and will restore your faith in humanity
Understanding that our weaknesses are an opportunity to create something, Lindsay has built a foundation for her daughters and their personal sense of self-care. She believes that lasting self-care is really about creating a peace inside rather than a momentary pampering. By asking what we truly need we can eliminate unnecessary stress and find long-term relief.
Our thoughts become our reality. And I think that's so important to remember. Are we letting ourselves win? Are we looking for the good that we're doing? Are we looking for the things that we are accomplishing even if we still have a long to do list?
Lindsay Heyneman: The Light behind Lettie Boutique Elevate the Individual, Episode 51
Where are you letting yourself win?
As you feel yourself approach burnout, push pause and identify your current thoughts about the situation. Take time to honestly journal any and all thoughts. Don't erase or gloss over the ugliness Drop the personal judgement and get writing.
Isolate one thought from your journaling. What emotion comes up when you choose to think that thought? Notice how the THOUGHT about the circumstance generates the feeling. The circumstance is nothing until you make it mean something.
Identify how you want to feel given your circumstances. Is burnout the right feeling for you? If yes, great keep doing what you ' re doing. If not, what new thought would you need to practice in order to create the desired emotion?
It’s not you. It’s motherhood. Motherhood is meant to be challenging. How you view the challenge will make all the difference.
In this episode, we go behind the scenes with our special guest, Sara Wells of Our Best Bites. We talk parenting, connection, teenagers, social media, developing talents and more.
Sara Wells co-founded Our Best Bites in 2008 with then business partner Kate Jones. She is the co-author of three Bestselling Cook Books, “Best Bites: 150 Family Favorite Recipes,” “Savoring the Seasons with Our Best Bites,” and “400 Calories or Less from Our Best Bites.” Sara’s work has been featured in many local and national news outlets and publications such as Parenting Magazine, Better Homes & Gardens, Fine Cooking, The Rachel Ray Show and the New York Times Sara and her husband Eric reside in Boise, Idaho with their 4 sons and Havanese pup, Finn
In this episode, we dive deep into the secrets of balancing work and family life with mom, wife, friend and real estate agent, Heather Ramos We discuss the importance of prioritizing and managing time effectively by utilizing a structured calendar and thought management Heather shares her personal experience of learning to set boundaries with clients and family, building trust and strong relationships We also discuss the need to assess progress and make necessary adjustments when working towards our goals Tune in to learn how effective time management can help you balance personal and professional life and achieve success in business while maintaining a healthy work-life balance
In today's world it's easy to get caught up in the negativity and stress that surrounds us. We pour so much time and energy into the next generation hoping and praying they make it thru their teenage years. Oftentimes, we lose sight of the mothers standing behind them. Mothers who want nothing more than for their children to succeed, who also have dreams of their own. Together, we highlight the stories of these incredible mothers as they raise their families and communities while getting after their goals and caring for their own mental health
Joinusasweelevatetheindividualforthegoodofthewhole.
New episode available each week on the website and all podcast apps.
enterntainment, money, alcohol, pornography and mindless scrolling are methods used to prevent us from having to feel unwanted emotions.
While interviewing Stephanie Anderson for the podcast, the concept of buffering was introduced. It's an important concept that needs to be discussed further as it is the result of seeking excessive pleasure in order to avoid feeling negative emotions. We live in a world that provides excessive opportunities to feel pleasure. When we experience pleasure our brain receives a hit of dopamine and it feels awesome. More awesome than the physical effects of feeling a negative emotion. As a result, we often seek false pleasures and the more we consume, the more we want. Businesses and corporations thrive on our need for pleasure. As they provide more and more concentrated doses of pleasure, we seek those sources with more intent. The supply responds to the demand. And the demand responds to the supply.
Our buffers are seen as creators of happiness. But these buffers come with consequences.
Often the consequences come with pain. Buffers only provide a temporary relief from negative emotions, which always come back stronger than before the buffer. When we eat more than we should, we gain weight and we feel sick afterward. We tell ourselves it will be worth it, but is a decline in our physical health really ever worth it? Is the temporary high of viewing pornography worth destroying family relationships? Often our buffers turn to addictions and our ability to walk away from them becomes more and more difficult.
With this awareness you will empower yourself with the ability to choose your emotional state. You will get to decide when and where you feel negative and positive emotion. As you create your emotions on purpose, you will develop a genuine sense of selfconfidence. This new found confidence will allow you to show up as the best version of you. Your contribution to this world is deeply impacted by your ability to walk away from buffers and process unwanted emotions as they arise. Please understand, that as you stop buffering, you will feel the emotional pain you have been avoiding. This can be alarming if you don't have the tools necessary to process and understand your emotions. Completing thought downloads, allowing urges and planning for future emotions, will be your biggest keys to success. You can start the process by completing the selfcoaching worksheets included in this issue. Please remember that you can do this work on your own, but you don't have to. Please schedule your free discovery call and let's do this together.
When you allow yourself to feel your emotions, you will live a more authentic life.
To stop buffering, you will need to be willing to feel unpleasant emotions and give up the false pleasure of buffering. Consider how you will do this as you complete the worksheet.
What are the ways in which you buffer?
What emotions are you attempting to avoid when you buffer?
What thoughts are causing each of these emotions?
What are the negative consequences of buffering in your life?
What will be different about your life when you stop buffering?
NEED HELP?
Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.
Self-care looks different when you understand your self-worth.
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is the ability to process and feel emotions. Emotions are the body's chemical response to the thoughts we generate. Emotions come with energy and that energy has to go somewhere. If we don’t take the time to work it thru our bodies it will find a way, often at the expense of our health or relationships when our words and actions don’t honor who we want to be.
When we resist emotions that we don’t want to feel, it’s like taking all that emotional energy and shoving it away pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s what children do when they are asked to clean their rooms and they really don't want to. Instead, they shove all their stuff in every nook and cranny to appease their mom. On the surface things look clean and tidy but mom knows better. When she comes to inspect the work and eventually opens the closet door, everything tumbles out creating a larger mess than before.
Push pause.
As you gain an awareness of how and when each emotion shows up for you, you will gain a greater ability to process the emotion, one layer at a time. You will decrease the need for surface level actions that simply mask deep-rooted emotion. You will develop the ability to create specific emotions on the path to your goals.
Where can you feel it?
What color is it?
Is it fast, slow, heavy?
Name the emotion.
Let it be.
We've all heard the adage, "Rome wasn't built in a day' but the adage doesn't stop there. English playwright, John Heywood goes on to point out, 'they were laying bricks every hour.' While it takes time and patience to build something big and grand, it also takes work. As you learn to live a more intentional life, you will quickly see that it doesn't just happen overnight However, as you continue to challenge your thoughts and take note of what you are creating in the moment, you will start to lay the bricks of your new intentional life moving forward. In the previous pages, you were introduced to intentional thoughts in regards to balancing work and family life. Did any of them seem big and grand and a little impossible to attain? Maybe in this moment, but they don't have to be totally out of reach. You can use smaller, more believable thoughts as bridge thoughts to help you create the next chapter of your personal belief system Follow the steps on the next page to get you started.
I suck at balancing work and family life, I will never figure this out.
NOTICE HOW YOU FEEL WITH EACH NEW THOUGHT DOES ANYTHING CHANGE?
I am learning how to handle the challenges of balancing work and family life.
I am a strong, resilient woman who can handle the challenges of balancing work and family life.
REMEMBER, PRACTICE IS HOW WE GROW. USE THE WORKSHEET AT THE END OF THIS ISSUE TO PENCIL OUT YOUR BRIDGE THOUGHTS
HOW CAN YOU OFFER YOURSELF A LITTLE MORE GRACE WITH EACH NEW BRIDGE THOUGHT?
Work thru as many bridge thoughts as you need. This is a marathon not a sprint.
Identify one new thought you would like to incorparate into your personal belief system. Your current thought reflects what you think today as opposed to your desired thought. Choose a bridge thought somewhere in the middle of the two thoughts that feels believable as you work towards adopting your new personal belief. Use as many bridge thoughts as you need as you work towards adopting the new thought.
CURRENT THOUGHT:
BRIDGE THOUGHT:
BRIDGE THOUGHT:
BRIDGE THOUGHT:
GOAL THOUGHT:
NEED HELP?
Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.
Rachel Mark has truly forged her own path in life. As a latch-key kid of the 80's, she learned to be pretty self-sufficient playing and cooking alongside her brother. During her high school years she lost both parents within a span of 15 months Her mom to brain cancer and her father to a brain aneurysm Thankfully, the siblings were adopted by their aunt and uncle but a traditional college path just wasn't the main focus at that time. Right before graduating from high school, Rachel got a job at Willoughby's in the mall, the 90's version of Ulta While there, she learned all about skin and hair care products. She worked hard, becoming a manager at the age of 18.
Upon the recommendation of her co-worker, Rachel decided to attend beauty school. The internet wasn't a thing yet so she drove out to Gene Juarez Beauty School and met with the admission's lady in person. Her aunt and uncle encouraged her to work for a year and save up the cash, which she did. Paying for tuition all on her own.
Rachel dedicated her time and energy to beauty school At one point, a financial presentation from the school left Rachel wondering what her future would be after graduation. Needing advice, she called up her mom ' s hairdresser, Julie Gamble. unsure whether or not she would remember her. But of course she did and Rachel was immediately invited to shadow Julie at her salon in downtown
Seattle. Upon graduation, Rachel was hired as Julie's assistant. The location of the salon allowed for Julie and her business partner, Lynae, to pull in high-end clients such as Bill Gates, members of Alice in Chains and other heavy metal hair bands of the 80's and 90's The business partners were talented, savy and extremely hard working providing Rachel with a one of a kind mentorship. When Lynae went on maternity leave, Rachel was handed her clients for 8 weeks. From this amazing opportunity, Rachel learned these keys to success: work hard, be kind, be friendly, take care of people, serve your customers and make it all about them.
During this time, Rachel got married and quickly became pregnant. She knew she wanted to be home with their baby but also really wanted to work Just like the internet, work from home moms weren't really a thing yet, but Rachel knew what she wanted and she knew she'd figure it out. Piece by piece, Rachel assembled a salon in their apartment kitchen and started doing hair for friends and family. As business grew, Rachel realized that some clients preferred coming to a home salon versus going to a full on fancy salon She had found her niche. Business kept multiplying and as a result, Rachel has never had to advertise, simply relying on word of mouth to grow her clientele.
With the addition of two more babies, Rachel continued working at home allowing for a balance
All women and mothers need a higher education of some kind. It does not have to be a college degree but it does have to be an employable skill. Whether or not you choose to use that skill in the job market will be your decision but please have that insurance plan.
of raising babies while pursuing her desire to work Rachel sees how this has allowed her children to become self-sufficient within her shadow and influence. On the flip side, she also recognizes the lack of down-time and drain on her energy that comes from talking to people all day long while physically working Like most working parents, some days there's energy left in the tank after working hours and some days the need to rest and refuel is very real. Rachel's key to balance is understanding what she personally does and doesn't need for self care. Her monthly neck massage is more about worker's comp than self care and that's completely fine with her One of Rachel's strongest boundaries between work and family is that work only happens during school hours. Outside of school and work hours, Rachel's hobbies are her kids. Spending time on the soccer field when they were younger was self care as that is exactly where she wanted to be As her
children have grown, the hobbies and interests have changed These past couple of summers, the family has spent as much time as possible boating on the lake often with friends in tow. She and her husband have launching down to a science. Rachel knows her role as captain and sets a powerful example for other women and families on the lake On and off the water, in and outside of work and family life, Rachel has been a powerful example of learning to balance her love of family and work.
Beingaworkingmomis amazing.Asyouconsider whetherornottoworkorstarta business,pleasemakesureyour workandhomelifefinda balance.Developingyourdaily protocolwillleadyoutosuccess. Staytunedformoreonthatin nextmonth'sissue.
As you ' ve strolled thru the pages of this issue, chances are you ' re starting to consider areas in which you want to improve or create something more. Use this worksheet to get a jumpstart on your goal.
Starting Point:
Finish Line:
Time Frame:
How will you measure progress? (Days, minutes, hours, pounds, # of books, etc)
How will you track progress?
How will you know if you have gone off course?
Do you need to make your goal more specific?
If so, in what way?
NEED HELP?
Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.
What will it mean when you reach this goal?
Here's the deal. I know you love your kids and you are trying to be the best mom you know how to be. I totally get it. I also believe that part of being the best mom you can be is developing that inner sense of self where you get to just be YOU. As you develop your inner light, you will continue to strengthen your family and your community in powerful ways you never even imagined
Maybe you have a passion project, a business idea or a new talent you want to develop. Let me help. Work with me for six weeks and you will walk away fully empowered as you begin to create the life you want.
We'll kick off our time together understanding where you are currently, what's keeping you there and what you want to create in the next six weeks (and beyond!) It's vital that we outline any obstacles and develop strategies to help you move thru them. Let the fun begin!
With a clear understanding of where you ' re going, we'll dig into the tools necessary to get you there. We'll take an in-depth look at The Model and how to use each part of it to your advantage. You will leave this session with the ability to walk your way to massive action.
Achieving desired results requires the ability to identify current thoughts and beliefs that might be keeping you stuck. This week we'll learn to identify thought patterns and where they come from We'll develop the ability to think on purpose and develop a powerful future focused belief system.
You will take a deep dive into feelings to better understand what they are, where they come from, and why they matter. You will learn about emotional balance and allowing for discomfort along with joy! You will walk away with the ability to create the emotions necessary to achieve your goals.
The only difference between those who achieve their goals and those who don't is their level of commitment. Commitment comes from the narrative you choose to believe when things get uncomfortable. You will put all the pieces together while processing the discomfort of growth.
You will learn to review your plan, discover what is working and identity what is preventing the results you want. You will look forward to your next six week game plan while practicing your new skills to counter any resistance. You will love this process and all that you create!
Six 1:1 coaching sessions with Lacey Jones.
At a time when many doctors are fleeing the medical system and lifelong dreams, Dr. Bindu Akkanti encourages her students to stay. Not only in word, but also in deed. At a young age, Dr. Akkanti learned from
the best as she shadowed her father within his medical practice. With time she has learned the value of clear boundaries and understands the need to recharge.
Following in her father's footsteps, Dr. Akkanti is on a mission to visit as many countries as possible. Costa Rica has been a favorite.
Dr. Bindu Akkanti is a board-certified physician and an associate professor at McGovern Medical School at The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston (UTHealth). She is an idealist in thought, doctor by trade and teacher at heart. She's also a daughter, a wife and a mother to three beautiful children. She enjoys teaching medical students, residents and fellows, gardening and traveling. And she believes we have to keep women in medicine.
Heavily affected by the COVID-19 pandemic, Dr. Akkanti created protocols within her profession and family to ensure the ability to travel and recharge her mental, emotional and physical batteries.
Without these boundaries, we drain future doctors of their lifelong dreams and lose highly talented individuals to burnout. Tune into the podcast for more valuable truths from Dr. Akkanti on August 9, 2023.
A boundary is something you create for yourself. Much like a property boundary, an emotional boundary delineates where one person ends and another starts. Healthy boundaries promote self-responsibility and empowerment which leads to closer relationships with others. Weak boundaries promote enmeshment and emotional childhood behavior, which is divisive in relationships. Healthy boundaries are comprised of a request and a consequence that are communicated when a boundary has been crossed. Please note that the consequence is an action you will take when someone does something. The consequence is not an emotion you will feel when someone does something. You remain in charge of your emotions and actions no matter the choices of others.
Ask someone to stop doing the thing that infringes on your property, literally or emotionally.
Tell the person what you will do if they do not comply with your request.
Ready to draft a boundary? Remember, this is not a manual for other people. Boundaries are used to communicate how YOU will act in response to other people's actions.
What is the boundary violation?
What is the boundary you want to set?
The request: If you...
The consequence: Then I will...
What are your fears (if any) around establishing this boundary?
NEED HELP?
Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.
What are the benefits of establishing this boundary?
RAISING CONFIDENT MOTHERS
COMING SEPTEMBER 2023
SIMILAR TO A BOOK CLUB BUT BETTER
1 HOUR GROUP DISCUSSION AND COACHING
IN-DEPTH TRAINING ON CONCEPTS TAUGHT IN THE MAGAZINE
ACCESS TO LIBRARY OF PREVIOUS ISSUES
HEAD TO THE WEBSITE TO ADD YOUR NAME TO THE WAITLIST
I will not teach you how to protect your mental health. I will, however, teach you how to understand, grow, develop and strengthen your mental health so that you are no longer holding on by a thread. I will help you walk gracefully thru situations that would have sent you cowering.
I will show you how to thrive.