King of the Beasts Quacks
Editor-in-Chief
JohnBau Zethious Robert Morlock
HEISMAN HOPEFUL
PILARES LOOKS TO TAKE THE LEAP TO IMMORTALITY
PEARCE, KLUBNIK.... ? .... WHO WILL JOIN THE PRESTIGIOUS CLUB
We’ve seen both sides of the ball take the award through the first two years With James Pearce Jr and Cade Klubnik showcasing record setting performances on their way to the illustrious distinction of Heisman winner
“GENTLEMEN, IT IS BETTER TO HAVE DIED AS A SMALL BOY THAN TO FUMBLE THIS FOOTBALL.”
JOHN HEISMAN
Immediately following the National Championship loss to the Mountaineers, Notre Dame’s Jeremiyah Love shook the CFB landscape by declaring for the draft Despite the programs best efforts to retain the star RB, Love has chosen to forego his final year of eligibility, and thus remove himself from the season 3 Heisman race He had been the odds on favorite to claim the highest honor in college football following a dominant Junior season that led his team all the
way to the playoff finale. With Love gone, two true Sophmores waddle their way into the mix Miguel Pilares and Selesi Kohou led the Ducks to ai perfect regular season last year The two speedsters are exemplifying the exact mentality that legendary coach Chip Kelly brought to the program 17 years ago The dynamic duo took the country by storm as true freshman, and are poised to make an even bigger splash in 2026
Pilares, donning the heralded #8, brings back found memories for Duck fans. Marcus Mariota, the programs most recent heisman winner, threw for nearly 4,500 yds and 42 tds in 2014 Pilares, as a true freshman, threw for 4,100 yards and 43 tds in 2024 After missing out on the award due to the historic season from Clemson QB Cade Klubnik, the Oregon Duck has some unfinished business to attend to
Aside from Pilares and his teammate Kohou, the heisman list is rather wide open News of Nyck Harbor’s decision to stay in South Carolina has drastically improved the odds for both him, and his QB LaNorris Sellers Florida’s surprise 2 star Sophomore QB, Kamryn Murray, is also showing up on some preliminary ballots. A dark horse candidate has also emerged from the Mountain West, as SDSU HB Lucky Sutton enters his Senior Season following a 1,300 yard, 17 td Junior campaign. The early odds have many other players very much in the mix, and we will likely revisit the betting favorites a few times before season’s end
Selesi Kohou will be giving his QB a run for his money in the Heisman race this year
WELCOME TO BERKELEY
Coach Quacks returns for his third season with the Bears, looking to expand upon the success from the previous two years
QUINCY PETTIS
Things looked bleak as Coach Quacks emerged from the tunnel at Memorial Stadium in week 5 The Golden Bears were hosting Purdue, and at 0-3, found themselves in a must win situation to avoid a disastrous start to the year. They would go on to pull off an ugly 28-24 win, but it was the start of something special for the Bears.
Nail biter after nail biter, the team would go on to rattle off 7 of their next 8 games and sneak their way in the back door of another conf championship game
Cal and Miami met in Charlotte, NC under the lights to settle the score for the ACC The game started with a bang, as WR Mavin Anderson returned the opening kickoff right up the gut to put the Bears up 7 He wasn’t done yet he would return yet another kickoff following a Miami score to push the score to 14-7 The Cal defense struggled early, but came up big in the clutch, forcing 2 fumbles late in the game to lock up a shocking W and secure back to back ACC titles
They’d once again face Notre Dame in the CFB Playoff, although the outcome was different than season 1 The Irish would rout the Bears and send the team back to Berkeley with a first round exit. Overall, a successful season for the up and coming University
Sights are now set on season 3, with an eventful offseason underway Impact senior Jaydn Ott (HB) and Tobias Merriweather (WR) departed for the draft, and a number of crucial role players graduated as well True Freshman QB Josh Gold saw little improvement on paper over the Summer, but he is determined to maintain his starting role and bring a new dual threat mentality to the field for his Sophomore campaign.
The story of the Spring has been the strength of the RB room As true Sophomore Brenton Cooks takes huge leaps in his development and welcomes the 4 star gem out of Oxnard, Bobby Hill.
NYZIAH HUNTER | JR | WR
ROBERT HILL | FR | HB
“WE PLAN TO DICTATE THE GAME IN EVERY PHASE. GOAL #1 EACH AND EVERY SATURDAY IS TO PLAY 60 MIN OF CAL BEARS FOOTBALL.”
A new OC also takes the helm, and with him comes a new offensive playbook Having 2 dynamic weapons in the backfield is a distinct advantage for the Bears this upcoming season, and the offensive strategy will largely revolve around keeping them both on the field as much as possible Cooks and Hill have large shoes to fill with the departure of Ott, but the twoheaded monster may just be a more versatile strategy when all things are said and done
Big leaps for the front seven on D with two 5 star DT’s entering the fray Quacks looks poised to fix some of the woes they experienced against the run last season With 9/11 starters returning on defense, improvement should be a given What we will need to see is if the schematic changes help right some of the wrongs that had this team gashed week in and week out for the past year. Big expectations in the Bay for year 3
tinues to produce e most impressive all of CFB. After ting to the big past year, Bizzy t in a spectacular track stars for 3. Potentially 9 speed for the ndary, the Canes t be the best college football.
A perfect season derailed in a single moment. Nick and the Ducks came up just short of a shot at the Natty last year. Already armed with multiple Heisman candidates, adding yet another top 10 recruiting class is a dangerous proposition for the rest of the Big 10. Expect another year of dominance for the Ducks
The Irish nearly put it all together, obviously the runner up finds themselves high on the list for a national title run. A huge blow to the team as Jr HB Jeremiyah Love, who was a heisman front runner, chose to leave for the draft following the loss to West Virginia Sophmore QB Figurs will have a lot on his plate to bring the Irish back to glory.
Sellers returns for his Senior season with Elio and the Gamecocks, and he’ll have his favorite target with him for the last hurrah. Rumors of a potential QB competition abound, but South Carolina still reigns supreme as the favorite to win the SEC. Twice now they’ve been ousted by users when it matters most. Can they break the spell that has forced them into an early vacation these past two years?
What a year for West Virginia. It goes without saying that Tosh will be on the championship watchlist as he attempts to join the likes of Bama and Georgia as a back-to-back national champion. The roster is still working its way up to the upper echelon of the dynasty, but the proof is in the pudding Can the Mountaineers go on another storybook run to make it two in a row?
Big Smitty gets some attention here as his Sooners came on strong and played their way into an SEC Championship game in season 2 A highly touted defense loses a few critical players to the draft, so next man up will need to be the mentality if the Oklahoma boys hope to return to the big game down south
him last season Cologne would be a true game changer in Auburn and could shake up the landscape in the SEC.
Yet another SEC team to watch for, Ole Miss Tidepod has yet to breakthrough into a playoff contender, but he has put together an impressive recruiting class that could inspire an uptick in performance on the field
Could we see 4 SEC teams competing for the title once again? Time will tell.
RECRUIT SHOWCASE:
SDSU WR: JOEY MALDONADO
KOTB has been hitting the trail with his San Diego St. Aztecs. In an opportune location of Southern California, competing with only a few users out West, he has been able to put together an impressive 2025 class.
When asked about his most exciting prospect thus far, the answer was quick: Joey “Spaghetti Cowboy” Maldonado. The 6'5" skyscraper hails from Duncanville, TX (hence the apt nickname). Couple that massive frame with an impressive 90 speed right out the gate, and its easy to see why the program is so enamored with the young star.
Cowboys legend Greg Nortman heads up the recruiting team for the Aztecs, and it’s clear his Dallas roots still run deep. Plucking a few passed over talents has been a particularly rewarding practice thus far, although in the upcoming season, it may be much more difficult given the influx of users to the Texas pipeline. Suntan joins TCU, Guac heads to Texas Tech, and Zeth will also be in the mix at Oklahoma State. Maldonado could be the last of a dying breed in San Diego, but he looks to make his presence known on campus soon enough.
THE
FROM RAGS TO RICHES: A SPOTLIGHT ON THE ONGOING REBUILDS AROUND THE NATION
A NUMBER OF OUR USERS HAVE CHOSEN A LESS GIFTED GROUPS OF COLLEGIATE STARS.. WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
KOTB and the Aztecs are coming off a 9-4 season, including a bowl win in the final game of the year
After beginning his coaching career with a 4-8 season, the improvement has already helped to pull in some nice looking recruits. The program is hoping to add enough talent to get over the hump and secure a MWC title
His recruiting class is headlined by some impressive defensive prospects CB Jon Clemens and MLB John Avila are range-y coverage specialists with 94 and 90 speed respectively A 4 star gem with elite dev, JaMichael Driver, will certainly make an immediate impact off the edge for the Aztecs.
Pride has done well with the cards he was dealt, taking on one of the most challenging schools in the nation
Sneaking into a bowl game at 6-7 this year, Air Force is slowly making strides to compete for the conference championship. Recruiting has been a struggle in Colorado Springs; squeezing out just a few commits in year one, and improving only slightly in season 2
Attendance has been a struggle for the Falcons as well, as we’ve seen completely empty grandstands at the bulk of their games Pride hopes to change the script this year and get the servicemen and women’s asses back in those seats.
Chaddy Daddy, as most of the students know him, has lead the Scarlet Knights to back-to-back losing seasons
A disappointing season 1, followed up by a 4 win showing in season 2 has Chad on the hot seat in New Jersey
Enter Jesse McPherson, a 4 star gem HB with blazing speed. McPherson will hit the field as one of the most dynamic athletes on the field for the Knights in season 3. The schedule remains brutal for Rutgers as he will once again have to deal with the likes of Oregon, Penn State, and Ohio State in the Big 10, but a winning season seems like a necessity to keep the job.
OWLS & GOPHERS | COACH’S CORNER
ROBERT MORLOCK : HEAD COACH OF THE MINNESOTA GOLDEN GOPHERS
Q: How would you assess the team's performance through 2 seasons? Any new goals for season 3?
We have been a middle of pack team, one minute we get a nice win vs a rival and next minute we lose an out of conference game vs a smaller team.
Q: What has been most difficult about taking over a smaller program like Minnesota?
Winning, we are trying hard to do the basics and find a way to win, offense looks sluggish and slower defensive backs tend to get baked.
Q: The freshman QB showed some flashes this year, but ultimately struggled a bit as a passer Any plans to bring in some competition for Azumah?
I will look in transfer portal but didn’t have any luck recruiting a QB. Dori has been a little shaky, but that last second drive to beat Rutgers this season was a thing of beauty.
Q: Any incoming recruits that might make an immediate impact on the field this year?
MLB Brad Robbin’s is just what I need to help in my defense. A fast, tackling three down linebacker. I have a couple of corners coming in; Burrow and Shields David Shields is an Elite prospect out of Louisiana and looks to play immediately
Q: With a stacked conference, it can be tough to make headway in the rankings Who looks to be the favorite in your opinion to take the Big 10 this year? Any dark horse candidates for the title?
Oregon grows stronger by the second, great recruiting and strong stick skills, look for him to be a monster the rest of this cycle, dark horse? I’m going to go with VBD’s Penn State. He was 7-2 in the conference and has always been a top user.
OWLS & GOPHERS | COACH’S CORNER
JOHNBAU : HEAD COACH OF THE TEMPLE OWLS
Q: How would you assess the team's performance through 2 seasons? Any new goals for season 3?
I would say we have done pretty good. 2 bowl wins in 2 seasons, winning record in both seasons, with some big wins, like beating Penn St on the road. Season 3, I think we’ll be pushing conf championship.
Q: What has been most difficult about taking over a smaller program like Temple?
Most difficult thing so far, has been finding offensive players with killer speed We have gotten good recruits but nothing like a 99 speed WR or DB
Q: Some impressive snags on the recruiting trail this year, who are you most excited about making an immediate impact?
Although he was recruited during the 1st season, I am most excited about our 3 star gem, elite dev QB, Patrick Fowler. He was redshirted his Freshmen year, and we’re hoping to do damage starting next season
Q: Do you plan to stay at Temple for the long term, or turn this into a potentially more lucrative job offer?
As of right now, my sentiment is that I’ll be here until CFB 26. I really want to build here and enjoy the fruits of my labor. However, we know things can change at any moment.
Q: Coach Heath has been hinting at a potential rivalry between the Heels and Owls. Any comments on the potential matchup with UNC?
Heath is a great owner I’d definitely love to make him rage with a nice ass whooping
Q: Who do you think are the teams to watch out for in season 3? Any dark horse candidates for the title?
I’d love to see what Boone can do at TCU after complaining that he can’t get talent at JMU. After probably being the worst user, I want to see what Guac can do with Texas recruits. Elio at SC had a really good season, and landed some nice recruits. I’ll list him as my dark horse for season 3
WASTED: THE JALENA DANKINS SAGA
WRITTEN
BY : ZETHIOUS
In an unbelievable twist to an already bizarre scandal, former Kansas University head football coach Jalena Dankinz has officially signed on to lead the Oklahoma State Cowboys, just hours after being dismissed from Kansas under highly controversial circumstances. The decision has sent shockwaves through the college football community, particularly given the lurid details surrounding Dankinz’s departure.
THE KANSAS INCIDENT: PARAPHERNALIA FALLS FROM DANKINZ
What began as an unremarkable post-game locker room entrance soon turned into a spectacle of scandal when Dankinz disoriented and seemingly under the influence stumbled over a 12-pack of Canada Dry soda cans while entering the locker room. As witnesses recount, Dankinz attempted to steady himself, only for something unexpected to fall from his body: a small, tightly-wrapped bag, later identified as drug paraphernalia, slid out from his anus and landed in full view of stunned players and staff
Multiple reports confirm that the bag, which contained narcotics, slipped out during the coach's clumsy encounter with the soda cans. Dankinz, appearing flustered and confused, made a feeble attempt to cover up the situation but the damage was done Rumors of Dankinz’s illicit activities had circulated for months, but this incident, witnessed by dozens in the locker room, pushed those suspicions into a full-blown scandal
TRAFFICKING ALLEGATIONS AND THE KANSAS FALLOUT
The shocking locker room incident was just the tip of the iceberg. In the days that followed, law enforcement launched a full investigation into Dankinz’s activities both on and off the field, with startling revelations emerging about his involvement in drug trafficking It’s alleged that Dankinz had been using Kansas University’s football program to transport illegal substances across state lines, hiding them in equipment bags and among team supplies on road trips Investigators claim Dankinz had built a network involving several accomplices within the university’s athletic department, turning the program into an unknowing front for his operations.
More disturbingly, it is alleged that Dankinz was not only using drugs but also distributing them to select members of the coaching staff and even some unwitting players Several whistleblowers within the athletic department described a culture of secrecy, with Dankinz using his power and influence to intimidate anyone who questioned his activities. One former staffer said, “Coach Dankinz was leading a double life During the day, he was a football genius, but at night, it was something completely different It became common knowledge among certain circles that he wasn’t just focused on game film when he stayed late at the offices.”
THE DOUBLE LIFE: DANKINZ’S ONCAMPUS EXPLOITS
While Dankinz's drug-related activities were making headlines, other aspects of his personal life began to surface Several sources close to the program have claimed that Dankinz regularly engaged in inappropriate relationships with students and staff. These alleged encounters reportedly took place in private rooms within campus facilities, and there are even reports of Dankinz using the team’s practice facilities for late-night trysts.
Rumors suggest that high-ranking officials in Kansas University’s athletic department had long been aware of Dankinz’s illicit activities but turned a blind eye, fearing the damage it could do to the Jayhawks’ football program However, after the public embarrassment of the locker room incident, KU had no choice but to sever ties with Dankinz
OKLAHOMA STATE: A CONTROVERSIAL MOVE
Incredibly, just hours after his abrupt departure from Kansas, Jalena Dankinz has now signed a multi-year contract to take over as the head coach at Oklahoma State. Despite the ongoing investigations and the shocking allegations, Oklahoma State made the bold decision to pursue Dankinz, banking on his coaching prowess to lift their program to new heights
The Cowboys’ athletic director issued a statement confirming the hire, noting Dankinz’s “track record of success” and calling the scandal surrounding him “a personal matter ” However, many have been left stunned by the decision to bring on a coach whose recent actions have cast a massive shadow over college football
“Jalena Dankinz is one of the best minds in the game, and we believe he can lead our program to a new era of success,” the statement read “We are aware of the controversy, but we have faith that Coach Dankinz will address these personal matters and move forward in a positive direction ”
WHAT’S NEXT FOR DANKINZ?
As the scandal continues to unfold, both on the legal front and in the court of public opinion, the question remains: will Jalena Dankinz be able to escape the shadow of his actions in Kansas and find redemption at Oklahoma State? Or will the weight of his transgressions prove too heavy for his career to recover?
For Kansas University, the focus now shifts to rebuilding the football program in the wake of this scandal, while Oklahoma State faces intense scrutiny for bringing on a coach with such a controversial past With
6 WHEEL SPINS, 6 NEW GIGS
BRACKETT ZETHIOUS
A fairly lateral move for Brackett, and the real story is the potential transfer of QB George Cologne, who lit up the ACC down the stretch last season
Auburn Tigers Ok St. Cowboys
After 60 wheel spins, Zeth finally lands a job. The Cowboys got a wacky schedule this past year and only played a handful of games. Fans are eager for some excitement in Stillwater.
GUAC SEIDEFFECT
Texas Tech Red Raiders USF
Guac moves to Texas Tech, who somehow have one of the most stacked rosters available. A top 25 team at season’s end, Tech is looking for a shot at the conference next year
SUNTAN
TCU Horned Frogs
Bulls
After a successful, although short, run at Texas St , Seideffect heads to the gauntlet of Florida recruiting Will there be enough 101 speed WRs to go around in the sunshine state?
DR DARK
A last minute entry to the wheel, the man formally known as Boone sticks with the purple theme and takes a big talent upgrade moving to TCU.
NIU Huskies
After filling his wheel with exclusively small schools, Dark lands with the Huskies. Will rumors of a philosophy change have NIU slinging the ball this year?
