Middle School Lesson Plans

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM MIDDLE SCHOOL

Medical Review Willing to Wait® thanks the following medical professionals for their role in ensuring the medical accuracy of each lesson.

Adam Blickley, MD OB/GYN; Emily Gerardy, PA-C; Angela Lok, RN

Copyright © 2023 PRC Grand Rapids All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of certain noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Printed in the United States of America

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 1 SEX: EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT IT PREPARATION OBJECTIVES: Students will...

1. Define abstinence.

2. Identify why some teens are choosing to be sexually active and three reasons why most teens are choosing to wait to become sexually active.

3. Distinguish between facts and myths regarding teen sexual activity.

STANDARDS: A, H (Per MI State Law); 6.2, 6.3, 6.4, 7.1 (Per GLCEs) A.

Discuss the benefits of abstaining from sex until marriage and the benefits of ceasing sex if a pupil is sexually active.

H.

Teach that the pupil has the power to control personal behavior. Pupils shall be taught to base their actions on reasoning, self-discipline, a sense of responsibility, self-control, and ethical considerations such as respect for self and others.

6.2

Distinguish between facts and myths regarding HIV infection and AIDS.

6.3

Explain when it is important to get adult, medical, and/or counseling help.

6.4

Identify services and trustworthy adults that provide health information and testing regarding HIV and other STIs, analyze the validity of such resources, and describe how to access valid services.

7.1

Summarize the benefits of staying within behavioral limits and remaining abstinent.

EQUIPMENT 1.

Student Packets: • Middle School Student Handbook • Middle School Parent Handbook • Name Cards

2. Dry-erase Marker 3.

4.

5.

Pencils Survey Link(s) and Paper Copies

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Survey Script (Legal Mandate, not State Mandate)

6. Envelope/Box for Student Questions 7.

Note Cards of Student Questions

PROPS 1. Resource Poster (Optional) 2. Sex (is not a) Game • Buzzer or Bell • Magnet Cards 3. Time Line Activity • Baby Bottle • Sunglasses or Headphones • Ring Box • Halo 1.1

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 1 SEX: EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT IT

INSTRUCTION ANTICIPATORY SET 20 Minutes Introduce available community resources. “Why are we here?”

For everything we are going to talk about in these lessons, there are a number of helpful resources listed on the back of your HANDBOOK. One of those organizations is PRC [adapt for location].

1. Proactive Education 2. Responsive Medical Care: Pregnancy services and STD testing and treatment Discussion Question: Who do you think their primary patients are? Most of their patients are young adults who sometimes can feel immune to outcomes of teen risk behaviors.

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions.”1 We want you to know this information ahead of time, so you can be aware of possible risks and outcomes before they impact your life.

3. Compassionate Support Services Preview 1. What does the word abstinence mean?

2. In what areas of your life do you already practice abstinence?

Pre-Program Survey 1. *Read script* (legal mandate).

2. Emphasize this is a pre-survey. Provide any necessary codes or information.

3. Read survey questions (if necessary).

4. Collect surveys.

Materials • • • • • •

HANDBOOK

Direct students to complete name card.

Direct students to list two personal goals on back of name card or in HANDBOOK. Introduce the separate student and parent HANDBOOKS. Highlight local resources on HANDBOOK (Back cover).

Direct students to deliver PARENT HANDBOOK to parents.

Direct students to citation pages (note footnotes in HANDBOOK) available on W2WHealthyYou.com.

Basic outline of Willing to Wait DISCUSSION: I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT

HANDBOOK

You might be wondering if this program will have anything for you. Direct students to the Table of Contents checklist in their HANDBOOK. As I read the list of topics, please mark the topics that interest you most or you think would be important to know. I want to know about: Why some teens have sex and most wait Consent, abuse, and the laws about sex How my body works / How babies are made How to set personal boundaries STDs and how they are spread How to have healthy relationships How sex affects emotions Other students who have decided to wait 1.2

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SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM Willing to Wait is for everyone! w Every student has the right to know how to achieve their optimal health and avoid health risks. Every student deserves to know they are valued. Always.

This is just a sample of the many topics we’ll explore together. If you have checked any of these boxes, this program is definitely for you. If there is something you’re hoping to learn that we didn’t mention here, please complete a question card to let us know what you want to learn.

Classroom Rules • Expect respect for and from classmates. Treat everyone with value and listen to their point of view even when it is different from our own.

• Helpful questions only. There are no pointless questions, but is the point to be helpful or disruptive?

• Helpful: “How many times do you have to have sex to get pregnant?”

• Unhelpful: “How many times have you had sex?”

• Raise your hand when you have a helpful question. If you aren’t sure if your question is helpful, or don’t want to ask your question in front of the class, you may submit a question card.

• Appropriate language and terminology (If you are unsure about a term, submit a question card) • No personal details (“Someone I once knew...”)

• What is said by students in the classroom should stay in the classroom (the only exception is if someone is being harmed or intends to harm anyone).

DIRECT INSTRUCTION

20 Minutes

Define Abstinence HANDBOOK (2) “Being willing to wait for something for a chosen period of time.”

• There are already many things you choose not to do right now. Can you give any examples?

- Voting - Driving - Eating - Using your cell phone - Swimming at the lake • These are all good things, that can have a positive impact on our lives.

• Some people choose not to do certain things at any time in their life, for various reasons.

- Smoking—Can someone who smoked in the past decide to stop smoking in the future?

- Drinking alcohol - Using drugs - Eating meat—Can someone who ate meat in the past decide to stop eating meat in the future?

• In this class, when we say “abstinence”, we are usually talking about “being willing to wait to have sex until marriage.”

• Most teens ( %) in County [adapt for location] have not had sex.2 This is also true of 76% of high schoolers in Michigan and 70% of high schoolers in the United States.3 • Can someone who had sex in the past decide to be abstinent in the future? Yes! DISCUSSION: WHY ARE TEENS (NOT) HAVING SEX?

HANDBOOK (2)

Ask the class to list as many reasons as they can for why some teens choose to have sex and why most teens choose to wait to have sex. After giving the class several minutes to make a list as you write their suggestions on the dry-erase board, invite the class to compare their list to the reasons in their HANDBOOK. Encourage them to add any reasons mentioned in class that are not listed in their HANDBOOK. Highlight how similar their class’s answers were to those in their HANDBOOK. w Teens have many reasons for waiting to have sex. Willing to Wait encourages you to make decisions based on information and facts.

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SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM ACTIVITY: SEX (IS NOT A) GAME Use the Truth/Myth statements to preview the coming topics. Clarify factual information when students make incorrect responses. Explain why each fact is important.

Conclude by emphasizing that % of County [adapt for location] teens have not had sex.2 w We all have a lot to learn about sex. There’s no need to be nervous or embarrassed for not having all the answers.

ACTIVITY: TIME LINE HANDBOOK (2) 1. Invite four student volunteers to represent four stages of life, highlighted with appropriate props.

2. From birth until middle school most students haven’t thought much about sex.

3. As teens, waiting to have sex can be difficult. And as young adults, the pressure is even greater.

- But we are only talking about 10-15 years for most people.

- This is not an ideal time to get pregnant. And young people are at greater risk for STDs. 4. When the average American gets married around 25-30 years old,4 they have 50 years to have sex within marriage.

- This can be an awesome time to start a family.

5. The average American person dies around 80 years old.5 w The choice to be abstinent is usually a temporary one. For most people, we are not talking about a lifelong commitment to abstinence.

GUIDED PRACTICE

10 Minutes

Goals HANDBOOK (1) If they did not do so earlier, invite students to write their goals from their name card in their HANDBOOK. How do you think sexual activity will make your goal more (or less) difficult to achieve?

CLOSURE REVIEW QUESTIONS 1. What does the word abstinence mean? (Being willing to wait for something for a chosen period of time) 2. In what areas of your life do you already practice abstinence?

Willing to Wait wants every young person to be able to make informed decisions for their own optimal health, not simply based on social influences, but based on facts, research, and their personal goals.

And that is why we’re here.

INDEPENDENT PRACTICE PARENT HANDBOOK Invite students to complete the Parent Interview in PARENT HANDBOOK (5) before your next visit.

(Set guidelines with classroom teacher for due date, credit, etc.)

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SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 2 TEEN PREGNANCY PREPARATION OBJECTIVES: Students will...

1. Summarize basic reproductive facts and terminology.

2. Describe the adoption spectrum and summarize the “Safe Delivery of Newborns” laws.

3. State how pregnancy affects educational goals, finances, employment, and social life.

4. Identify teen parents’ responsibilities to their children, and why these are easier to fulfill as a married adult.

STANDARDS: A, B, C, D, H, J (Per MI State Law); 6.3, 6.4, 7.1 (Per GLCEs) A.

Discuss the benefits of abstaining from sex until marriage and the benefits of ceasing sex if a pupil is sexually active.

B.

Include a discussion of the possible emotional, economic, and legal consequences of sex.

C.

Stress that unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases are serious possibilities of sex that are not fully preventable except by abstinence.

D.

Advise pupils of the laws pertaining to their responsibility as parents to children born in and out of wedlock.

H.

Teach that the pupil has the power to control personal behavior. Pupils shall be taught to base their actions on reasoning, self-discipline, a sense of responsibility, self-control, and ethical considerations such as respect for self and others.

J.

Provide information for pupils about how young parents can learn more about adoption services and about the provisions of the safe delivery of newborns law, chapter XII of the probate code of 1939, 1939 PA 288, MCL 712.1 to 712.20.

6.3

Explain when it is important to get adult, medical, and/or counseling help.

6.4

Identify services and trustworthy adults that provide health information and testing regarding HIV and other STIs, analyze the validity of such resources, and describe how to access valid services.

7.1

Summarize the benefits of staying within behavioral limits and remaining abstinent.

EQUIPMENT 1. Power Point 2. Flash Drive 3. Computer (and Cables) 4. USB Remote 2023 MS

PROPS 1. Pregnancy Skit Script 2. Balloon Activity

3. Money Activity: • $500 fake cash 4. Fetal Models (optional)

• 3-4 Balloons • Baby Doll 2.1

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM

MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 2 TEEN PREGNANCY INSTRUCTION ANTICIPATORY SET Review

20 Minutes

HANDBOOK

Give students an opportunity to answer these review questions.

1. What does the word “abstinence” mean? (Being willing to wait to do something for a chosen period of time) 2. In what areas of your life do you already practice abstinence? (For example, voting, screen time) Collect Parent Interviews from students.

Preview 1. What is the failure rate of a condom to prevent pregnancy? (13%) 2. What three areas of life would be affected by a pregnancy? (Fun, finances, and future) 3. What is the only way to guarantee a teen won’t get (someone) pregnant? (Abstinence) ACTIVITY: PREGNANCY SKIT Have two pairs of students read two skits. Which scenario is more common? While the parents’ reaction in one skit may seem more likely than the other, most teen parents make every effort to do what is best for their children. Both parents are legally responsible to provide for their children. w Pregnancy dramatically impacts teen parents’ lives; those who aren’t ready for the responsibilities of parenthood aren’t ready for sex.

Overview In today’s lesson, we are going to review the numbers regarding teen pregnancy, the basic biology of how pregnancy happens, and then discuss how pregnancy changes a teen’s life.

DIRECT INSTRUCTION The Numbers — Why do we need to talk about pregnancy?

• 323,950 teen pregnancies each year, 888 each day1 • 538* babies are born to teen moms and dads every day2 • 75% of teens who experience a pregnancy did not plan on it3 PRC is there for them.

Who needs to be concerned about teen pregnancy—becoming one of the 888? The % in County who have had sex!5

*This lower number is due to the fact that not all pregnancies are carried to term. 220 are aborted and 130 are miscarried.3 Michigan law prohibits teaching abortion as a method of family planning.4 If students ask about the discrepancy between pregnancies and births, explain that we are not legally able to discuss abortion in class. No further explanation can be legally provided.

A lower, more recent number of teen births is 408 per day, but we do not have an estimate for teen pregnancies based on that newer data.

The Basic Biology — How Pregnancy Happens 1. The Female Reproductive Cycle 2. The Female Reproductive System • Key terms (Ovary, 300,000 Eggs at puberty,6 Ovulation, Fallopian Tube, Endometrium Uterus, Menstruation, Cervix, Vagina) • Key Concept: An egg can be fertilized in Fallopian tube 1-2 days after ovulation 3. The Male Reproductive System • Key terms (Testicle, Sperm, Epididymis, Vas deferens, Seminal Vesicle, Prostate Gland, Penis, Erection, Ejaculation, Nocturnal Emission) • Key Concept: Sperm (180-400 million / ejaculate) can live 2-3 days (up to 5) in the Fallopian tubes7 2.2

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SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM 4. Conception can result from sex 3-5 days a month.

• Key terms: Sexual Intercourse, Fertilization, Implantation • Key Concept: At the moment of conception, many of your unique characteristics were determined.8 You are the only you ever!

5. Fetal Development9 HANDBOOK (3) • Key Terms: Zygote, Embryo, Fetus, Twins (Identical and Fraternal), Viability, Full-term • Write in your HANDBOOK that all major organs are present by 11 weeks, and a fetus is considered full-term at 40 weeks.

How Does Pregnancy Change A Teen’s Life? (Fun, Finances, and Future) When a teen learns they are pregnant, it is important to access prenatal care right away.

Once a baby is born, the parents will have to make some decisions about how to care for their child.

Adoption (Michigan.gov/adoption) Some teens decide that the best option for their child is to make an adoption plan.

• Confidential adoption *Be sure to use positive adoption language when discussing adoptions.

Carefully avoid harmful phrases like “Gave up for adoption, put up for • Semi-open adoption adoption, real parents, decide not to keep, unwanted, etc.”

• Open adoption Safe Delivery of Newborns (Michigan.gov/safedelivery) Michigan permits parents to entrust their child (up to 3 days old) to authorities anonymously and without legal consequences.

Safe Delivery of Newborn Laws do not apply if abuse, neglect, or abandonment is present.10 Parenting VIDEO: DIEGO’S STORY (3:01) (OPTIONAL) (or approved alternative) ACTIVITY: BABIES AND BALLOONS 1. Give a student a baby doll.

2. Ask the student to keep three balloons in the air as they care for the doll. They can be labeled “Fun” or “Social Life,” “Finances” or “Job,” and “Future” or “School.”

3. After a minute, ask for other student(s) to assist the first student. They represent various support people in a person’s life (such as the other parent, their own parents, other family and friends).

4. Ask, “Is it easier to keep the balloons in the air with help?” And yet, the number of balloons has not changed. w Parenting a child alone is an enormous challenge. The healthiest choice is to wait to have sex until marriage when parents are available and prepared.

Parents are obligated to provide: • love and emotional support • education • financial support (food, clothes, housing, medical) As we discuss how pregnancy impacts fun, finances, and future, complete the chart in your HANDBOOK (4). Compare how parenting as a teen is different from waiting to parent as an adult.

Fun: Babies are a 24-hour-a-day responsibility.

Becoming a parent changes what people do for fun. Entertainment now involves strollers, bouncy seats, and baby giggles, but the stress of teen parenting can impact children. Children of single parents have an increased risk of abuse.11 Finances: Babies cost money.

• 60-80% of teen moms receive welfare (some form of public assistance)12 2023 MS

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SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM • Estimated average cost of care is $320/week13 • It isn’t easy to pay for all of that as a teen working a minimum wage job ($10.10 / hour, or less) • Highlight resources from PRC’s Compassionate Support Future: Plan for Success! Consider the goals on your name card.

Researchers have identified three clear steps on the path to financial success.

1. Graduate high school 2. Have a full-time job 3. Wait until you are married before having a child Teens who follow this order of events will have less than a 3% chance of living in poverty as adults.14 Teen parenting is difficult.

• Parenting together is usually easier than parenting alone15 • A baby is a gift!

• Having a baby as a teen makes it more difficult (but not impossible) to reach your goals GUIDED PRACTICE ACTIVITY: MONEY Invite a student to imagine they have a job that pays $500 per week. Have them consider the impact of the following expenses.

- $100 taxes - $110 child support - $125 day care (could be included in child support) =$165 left for car, phone, food, gas, clothes, ect. w Children are a costly investment, even for responsible, hardworking parents.

Decisions for Teens: • Abstinence! % of teens in County have never had sex!5 • Some teens decide that the best option for their child is to make an adoption plan • Safe Delivery of Newborns. Michigan permits parents to entrust their child (up to 3 days old) to authorities anonymously and without legal consequences • What about protection? Is there any way the % of teens who have had sex can guarantee they won’t get pregnant? No - Condoms typically have an 13% failure rate16 - Pills, patches, and rings (popular hormonal methods) typically have a 7% failure rate16 • Reflect on your parenting goals. What type of parent do you want to be? What kind of life do you want to build for your child(ren)? How will waiting to have sex will help you reach those goals?

IMMEDIATE ASSESSMENT 1. How many days in a month can a female get pregnant? (3 to 5) 2. How many days in a month can a male cause a pregnancy? (Any day) 3. True/False: “Abstinence is the only 100% sure way to prevent pregnancy.” (True. The “failure rate” of abstinence is 0%.)

CLOSURE REVIEW QUESTIONS 1. What is the failure rate of a condom to prevent pregnancy? (13%) 2. What three areas of life would be affected by a pregnancy? (Fun, finances, and future) 3. What is the only way to guarantee a teen won’t get (someone) pregnant? (Abstinence) Anyone who is not ready for pregnancy is not ready to have sex!

2.4

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SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 3 SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES PREPARATION OBJECTIVES: Students will...

1. Name common STDs, list symptoms, and describe transmission of STDs/HIV. 2. Explain why abstinence is the only guaranteed way to prevent the transmission of STDs. 3. State the dangers of untreated STDs, including pain, infertility, and damage to organs.

4. Identify who is at risk for HIV and explain how to prevent its transmission, the characteristics of AIDS, and how to access HIV information, testing, and treatment.

STANDARDS: A, C, H (Per MI State Law); 6.1, 6.2, 6.3, 6.4, 6.5, 7.1 (Per GLCEs) A.

Discuss the benefits of abstaining from sex until marriage and the benefits of ceasing sex if a pupil is sexually active.

C.

Stress that unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases are serious possibilities of sex that are not fully preventable except by abstinence.

H.

Teach that the pupil has the power to control personal behavior. Pupils shall be taught to base their actions on reasoning, self-discipline, a sense of responsibility, self-control, and ethical considerations such as respect for self and others.

6.1

Explain how HIV is and is not transmitted.

6.2

Distinguish between facts and myths regarding HIV infection and AIDS.

6.3

Explain when it is important to get adult, medical, and/or counseling help.

6.4

Identify services and trustworthy adults that provide health information and testing regarding HIV and other STIs, analyze the validity of such resources, and describe how to access valid services.

6.5

Analyze behaviors and situations that may result in increased risk for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

7.1

Summarize the benefits of staying within behavioral limits and remaining abstinent.

EQUIPMENT 1. Power Point 2. Flash Drive 3. Computer (and Cables) 4. USB Remote 5. Amanda’s Story Video 2023 MS

PROPS 1.

Glo Germ • Animal Characters • Black Light 2.

Bean Boozled 3. Rico and Amy Characters

4. STD List Scroll (optional)

3.1

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 3 SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES INSTRUCTION ANTICIPATORY SET Review HANDBOOK 1. What is the failure rate of a condom to prevent pregnancy? (13%) 2. What three areas of a teen’s life would be affected by a pregnancy? (Fun, finances, and future) 3. What is the only way to guarantee a teen won’t get (someone) pregnant? (Abstinence, being willing to wait to have sex) ACTIVITY: GLO GERM—INFECTION DETECTION Before class, prepare one of three identical or comparable items (such as small stuffed animals or laminated animal illustrations) to contaminate with “Glo Germ” lotion or powder. Then, during class, have three students inspect the animals to determine which has been “infected.” Can they tell the difference? What else would they need to know prior to selecting one of the items? Can they be certain which has the infection? w Apart from testing, there’s no way for teens to know the STD status of themselves or another person.

Preview HANDBOOK 1. List the only four ways to get an STD. (Any kind of sex, contact with infected skin, infected body fluids, as a baby during pregnancy or birth) 2. Why would a condom have a higher chance of failure with STDs than pregnancy? (Primarily due to contact with infected skin) 3. What is the only way to guarantee complete protection from unplanned pregnancy and STDs? (Abstinence, being willing to wait to have sex) Overview In today’s lesson, we will learn about what STDs and STIs are, how they spread, and how to prevent their transmission.

DIRECT INSTRUCTION Understanding STDs Define “Sexually Transmitted Disease/Infection” (STD/STI): An infection that is passed from an infected person to another person most often through sexual activity. “STD” is more commonly used than “STI.” Some professionals distinguish STD and STI, others do not.

Why we need to know about STDs: • An estimated 26 million people are infected with an STD each year in the United States.1 • Young people account for almost half of new STD cases because of differences in their brains (they are less likely to recognize risks and how to avoid them), behaviors (the earlier a person starts having sex, the more likely they are to have multiple lifetime partners), and bodies (which do not have fully developed immune systems).2 Almost a quarter of adolescent females has an STD.3 • Why don’t you know if other people have an STD?4 Because most people with an STD are asymptomatic. Asymptomatic means without symptoms, for now.

• Who should be concerned about the risk of STDs? % in County5 ACTIVITY: TAKING YOUR CHANCES (BEAN BOOZLED) Have students select a Jelly Belly which may either be standard flavor or distasteful. Students must chew it, but may spit it out. This activity illustrates a fifty-fifty chance where appearances cannot help 3.2

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SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM predict the outcome. This is important because a person cannot tell if their partner has an STD by looking at them. And an estimated one out of two sexually active people under 25 will get an STD.6 w While sex may seem like a good idea as a teen, there is always a risk of consequences.

How to get an STD:7 Not all STDs are transmitted by all four methods.

• Any (oral, anal, or vaginal) sexual contact with an infected person • Skin contact with infected skin areas • Contact with infected body fluids: - Semen - Blood (HIV, Hep) - Vaginal fluid - Breast milk (HIV) - Rectal fluid - Saliva (rarely, HSV; inconclusive, HPV) • As a baby during pregnancy or birth How many STDs are there? Approximately 30 known today,8 most fall into one of these two categories: • Bacterial: Can be cured if diagnosed and treated by a medical professional • Viral: Some cannot be cured, affecting a person for the rest of their life. They can be treated.

• STDs affect an estimated 68 million people in United States.9 Types of STDs Direct students to HANDBOOK (6) for more details. Have students fill in the blanks on the chart.

Bacterial: Caused by a bacteria • Chlamydia10 • Look in your HANDBOOK (6) for information about other common bacterial STDs. Viral: Caused by a virus • HPV11 (Vaccine available) • Herpes (HSV 1 and 2)12 • HIV/AIDS13 (State mandate includes discussion of myths about HIV) - HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is the virus that can cause the condition known as AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome).

- HIV is an incurable virus; however, people who get early, effective treatment (ART, antiretroviral therapy) can expect to live a near-normal lifespan and reduce their risk of transmitting HIV. - A person at risk for HIV can receive treatment (PrEP, pre-exposure prophylaxis; PEP, postexposure prophylaxis) to reduce their risk.

ACTIVITY: HIV ROLE PLAY SKIT (OPTIONAL) [Adapted from Kent County Health Department presentation] Students are selected to depict various cells in the immune system or a virus posing a threat. Read through activity script while directing students to illustrate how HIV infiltrates and disrupts the body’s immune system. Remind students that with early and effective treatment, many of the effects of HIV can be reduced. w HIV harms people who are infected by weakening the immune system.

Impact of STDs STDs can affect people physically, emotionally, and financially, and reduce their future ability to have children.14 VIDEO: PRC STD VISIT (6:13) (OPTIONAL) VIDEO: AMANDA’S STORY (4:00) (OPTIONAL) How to avoid the risk of STDs The CDC says that abstinence is the only thing that can provide 100% complete protection from these diseases.15 The safest sex is only possible when people: (1) wait until they are married to have sex, (2) marry a person who doesn’t have an STD, and (3) only ever have sex with each other.

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SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM This does not mean a person with an STD cannot get married and have a happy and healthy relationship as an adult, but they need to be honest with their partner and talk with their doctor about potential treatments.

How to reduce the risk of STDs • Condom effectiveness: Condoms are less effective for preventing some STDs than for preventing pregnancy.16 This is mainly because condoms do not cover all of the skin that can be infected and because unlike pregnancy, STDs can happen any day of the month.

• Hormonal birth control provides 0% protection from any STD.17 • STD Testing (available at PRC) is critical for those who have been sexually active. HIV antigen/ antibody tests can detect HIV in as few as 18 days.

• Sexual exposure to STDs increases as the number of partners increases.18 ACTIVITY: RICO AND AMY (OPTIONAL) Using a magnetic dry-erase board or a marker ledge, set up each respective character as their name is read. Tell the story of Rico and Amy. Another person’s past, which is entirely unknown to their partner, can affect one’s entire future. This is why those who are thinking about being sexually active need to ask their partner three serious questions: “(1) When were you last tested? (2) For what? (3) What have you done since then?” If this seems like a mature conversation, that’s because it is! Anyone who’s not ready to discuss the risks of STDs is not ready for sex. And even if they do have that conversation, that isn’t a 100% guarantee they will avoid the risk. w While one sexual experience may seem like no big deal, you cannot know what is brought into that experience.

What can you do?

• Talk to your parents/guardian and your school nurse or counselor • Talk to a trusted adult or teacher • Get answers at PRC Grand Rapids (Refer to resource page on the back of their HANDBOOK) IMMEDIATE ASSESSMENT • What are two basic types of STDs? (Bacterial and viral) • Why are teens more at risk for STDs? (Less developed brains, behavior, and bodies) • Where can people be tested for HIV? (PRC, health department, or PCP—primary care physician) CLOSURE REVIEW QUESTIONS 1. List the only four ways to get an STD. (Any kind of sex, contact with infected skin, infected body fluids, as a baby during pregnancy or birth) 2. Why would a condom have a higher chance of failure with STDs than pregnancy? (Primarily due to contact with infected skin) 3. What is the only way to guarantee complete protection from unplanned pregnancy and STDs? (Abstinence, being willing to wait to have sex) INDEPENDENT PRACTICE • Complete the True or False quiz in your HANDBOOK (6). Ask about answers you don’t know.

• Invite students to discuss page 9 of PARENT HANDBOOK with their parents or guardian.

• Invite students to discuss question 2 of the interview on page 5 of PARENT HANDBOOK with their parents or guardian.

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SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 4 EMOTIONAL AND RELATIONAL OUTCOMES PREPARATION OBJECTIVES: Students will...

1. Describe how personal goals and one’s sense of self-worth can guide sexual behaviors.

2. Give examples of emotional and relational outcomes that can result from sexual activities outside of marriage.

3. Contrast how well risk avoidance and risk reduction strategies protect against pregnancy, STDs, and emotional outcomes.

STANDARDS: A, B, F, H (Per MI State Law); 7.5 (Per GLCEs) A.

Discuss the benefits of abstaining from sex until marriage and the benefits of ceasing sex if a pupil is sexually active.

B.

Include a discussion of the possible emotional, economic, and legal consequences of sex.

F.

Teach pupils how to say “no” to sexual advances and that it is wrong to take advantage of, harass, or exploit another person sexually.

H.

Teach that the pupil has the power to control personal behavior. Pupils shall be taught to base their actions on reasoning, self-discipline, a sense of responsibility, self-control, and ethical considerations such as respect for self and others.

7.5

Examine viewpoints of parents and other trusted adults regarding teen relationships, abstinence, and sexual decisions.

EQUIPMENT 1. Dry-erase Markers

2023 MS

PROPS 1.

Crisp Dollar Bill (or optional video) 2.

Glued and Unglued Hearts

3. Backpack with Bricks and School Supplies 4. Dice Game (optional)

4.1

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 4 EMOTIONAL AND RELATIONAL OUTCOMES INSTRUCTION ANTICIPATORY SET Review HANDBOOK 1. List the only four ways to get an STD. (Any kind of sex, contact with infected skin, infected body fluids, as a baby during pregnancy or birth) 2. Why would a condom have a higher chance of failure with STDs than pregnancy? (Primarily due to contact with infected skin) 3. What is the only way to guarantee complete protection from unplanned pregnancy and STDs? (Abstinence, being willing to wait to have sex) Preview 1. List three possible emotional outcomes of teen sex.

2. List three possible emotional outcomes of waiting to have sex.

3. Why wouldn’t a condom or pill protect you emotionally?

DISCUSSION: PERSONAL DILEMMA (PICK ONE OPTION) Describe a personal dilemma to set up the HANDBOOK (7) flow chart for deciding what action to do.

1. If you found $10.00 in the hallway, what would you do (keep it, try to find the owner, or leave it)?

2. What about a backpack with $10,000?

3. What would you do if you hit someone’s car bumper?

Challenge the class to think about the long-term impact that action could have on their goals. What goals impact your decisions? What are the possible outcomes? w Our actions reflect our personal goals. We should consider the goals we have about sex and relationships as well as the possible outcomes of our decisions.

Overview: 1. Today we are going to describe how goals should guide our choices.

2. We are going to explain how our emotions are impacted by our sexual decisions.

3. We will see that those who wait to have sex often have more satisfying relationships as adults.1 Write on the board: “While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions.”2 Today we are going to consider how the possible outcomes of our actions would impact our ability to reach our goals.

DIRECT INSTRUCTION Making Healthy Choices (Draw flow chart from HANDBOOK (7) on board for summary.)

DISCUSSION: INFLUENCES • Who are the people who have shaped your goals? List them in your HANDBOOK (7).

• How do those people help guide your choices? These are your strongest influences and they play an important role to help you understand your worth and value.

Personal Value and Self Worth: What I do matters, because I matter.

ACTIVITY: DOLLAR BILL Hold up a single dollar bill and ask students, “What is it worth?” Wrinkle the bill in front of the students and then unwrinkle the bill. Hold it up and ask the students, “What is it worth?”

4.2

2023 MS

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM •

Does the value of the bill change depending on how it has been treated, its condition, or its circumstances? No. (Even shredded cash retains its monetary value.3) • What happens to a person and the choices they make do not change their value.

• Every person is valuable. What you do matters, because you matter. wRegardless of how we have been treated, or the choices we make, or the circumstances we’re in, our value does not change.

- You are a one-of-a-kind person (remember Lesson 2) with knowledge, skills, experiences, and wisdom that no one else in the world has.

- Sex does not make you any more valuable. Sex does not make you any less valuable.

- Sex is a choice, and choices cannot change a person’s value.

• List three unique attributes (qualities you have) in the flow chart in your HANDBOOK (7).

Personal Goals and Decision Making: What I hope to achieve.

HANDBOOK (7) We all have goals for our lives that help us determine our actions. Our goals are what we hope to achieve. Our influences shape our goals and our sense of self-worth and value. Our understanding of our own self-worth tells us that our actions matter. Together our influences, goals, and our sense of self-worth guide our actions. And ultimately, our actions determine our outcomes (positive or negative consequences). Those outcomes can either move us closer to our goals or create roadblocks for us.

1. Copy the goals from your name tent at the bottom of the page.

2. Think back to the action you would take when facing the dilemma we discussed earlier. Would that action’s possible outcomes more likely add road blocks or move you closer to your goals?

3. Circle one person you know (from your “influences”) and one personal quality you have (from how your self-worth is observed in your unique attributes) that could help you either remove that road block or find a new action to take to get to your goal.

4. Think about the action to have sex. Who is influencing your decision to wait? Would a person who knows how valuable they are be more confident in their decision to wait?

5. Would the possible outcomes from having sex sex more likely move a person closer to their goals or add new road blocks in the way of their goals?

Emotional Outcomes • What are some outcomes of sex we have discussed so far? (Pregnancy, STDs, etc.)

• Another area of life that can be affected by sex is a person’s emotional and mental health.

• As we make decisions that impact our future goals (like whether or not to have sex) we want to consider all the possible outcomes of whatever action we take.

ACTIVITY: TWO HEARTS Glue two hearts together ahead of time. Loosely tape together another pair of hearts. Invite two students to assist you as “relationships counselors” who work with couples during break-ups. Ask both “relationship counselors” to help each couple separate as quickly and painlessly as possible. w Sex is not merely a physical act, but also bonds two people together emotionally.

This is in part due to the chemicals released in their bodies during sex (such as vasopressin and oxytocin).4 Temporary sexual relationships can harm both people emotionally.5 The feelings created by sex in a dating relationship don’t match the commitment level of the relationship. Sex is not a promise of commitment, but the hormones released can create a sense of attachment. In marriage, however, sex can be like a glue that helps a couple develop and maintain closeness.

• Sex has obvious physical outcomes, but people don’t exist only at a biological level. We are physical, emotional, spiritual, social, and mental beings. Sex involves two complete people.

• At least half of teens who choose to have sex regret it, wishing they had waited longer.6 • Teen sexual activity is linked to various negative mental health outcomes.5 • Those who wait to have sex tend to have more stable relationships as an adult.1 2023 MS

4.3

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM ACTIVITY: EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE HANDBOOK (8) w Because sex can have such a powerful impact on our emotions, when teens have sex they face emotional experiences they may not be prepared to handle. However, delaying sexual activity gives people more time to grow and develop additional emotional capacities.

Sometimes the word “baggage” sounds negative, but most often, “baggage” is just what we carry with us. When you go to the airport, you hope all your baggage makes it to the same place you do.

So our actions, whether healthy or unhealthy, might add emotional “baggage” for us to carry.

Emotions from waiting Emotions from teen sex (that help develop tools for future relationships) (that can weigh on a person) - Integrity (making choices consistent with - Regret (wishing you could go back and make one’s values) a different choice) - Confidence (in one’s ability to advocate for - Worry (Pregnancy, STDs) their best health) - Memories (of choices a person regrets, - Perseverance (sticking to one’s goal) comparisons) - Respect (for oneself and one’s dating - Feeling used (when others don’t acknowledge partners) a person’s worth and value) GUIDED PRACTICE Abstinence (Sexual Risk Avoidance) Vs. Safe Sex (Sexual Risk Reduction) • What about protection? Is it possible for teens to have “safe sex”? Is there any way to protect yourself from negative emotional outcomes?

• While condoms can reduce the risk of pregnancy and STDs, and the Pill can reduce the risk of pregnancy (but provides no STD protection), they cannot protect the whole person. People are physical, emotional, spiritual, social, and mental. Condoms and the Pill only (partially) protect people physically, but they can’t do anything to stop the feelings that sex creates because they aren’t designed to protect people emotionally or mentally. That’s not their purpose.

Invite students to circle their favorite reason to not have sex in the HANDBOOK (8).

DISCUSSION: BOX CHART COMPARISON (OPTIONAL) HANDBOOK (9) Draw a twelve-square chart (4 X 3) comparing the success rates of abstinence, condoms, and the Pill to avoid pregnancy, STDs, and emotional outcomes. Write the effectiveness of these strategies in the box chart in your HANDBOOK (9). w Abstinence is the only 100% guaranteed way to avoid the risks of sex.

ACTIVITY: DICE GAME (OPTIONAL) Two Dice: 1 = Pregnancy; 2, 3 = STD; 1 - 6 = Emotional Outcomes w “While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions.”2 IMMEDIATE ASSESSMENT • What makes someone valuable? [This question is open-ended for students to reflect on their answers. If necessary, remind students of the dollar bill activity and that every person is unique.]

• How can you guarantee you will not face the physical and emotional outcomes of sexual activity?

(By avoiding all sexual risk) CLOSURE REVIEW QUESTIONS 1. List three possible emotional outcomes of teen sex. (Regret, fear, memories, feeling used) 2. List three possible emotional outcomes of waiting to have sex. (Integrity, confidence, positive memories, respect) 3. Why wouldn’t a condom or pill protect you emotionally? (That is not their purpose.)

INDEPENDENT PRACTICE Invite students to discuss page 10 of the PARENT HANDBOOK with their parents or guardian.

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2023 MS

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM

MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 5 | UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, LAWS, AND RESISTING PRESSURE PREPARATION OBJECTIVES: Students will...

1. Identify characteristics of unhealthy and (physically, emotionally, sexually) abusive relationships and identify how to seek help.

2. Summarize state laws concerning sexual activity and exploitation (date rape, sexting, consent).

3. Confidently use refusal skills in high-pressure scenarios.

4. Recognize peer pressure and risky situations.

STANDARDS: A, B, E, F, G, H, I, K (Per MI State Law); 6.3, 6.6, 7.2, 7.4, 7.6, 7.8, 7.9 (Per GLCEs) A. Discuss the benefits of abstaining from sex until marriage and the benefits of ceasing sex if a pupil is sexually active.

B. Include a discussion of the possible emotional, economic, and legal consequences of sex.

E. Ensure that pupils are not taught in a way that condones the violation of the laws of this state pertaining to sexual activity, including, but not limited to, those relating to indecent exposure, gross indecency, and criminal sexual conduct in the first, second, third, and fourth degrees.

F. Teach pupils how to say “no” to sexual advances and that it is wrong to take advantage of, harass, or exploit another person sexually.

G. Teach refusal skills and encourage pupils to resist pressure to engage in risky behavior.

H. Teach that the pupil has the power to control personal behavior. Pupils shall be taught to base their actions on reasoning, self-discipline, a sense of responsibility, self-control, and ethical considerations such as respect for self and others.

I. Provide instruction on healthy dating relationships and on how to set limits and recognize a dangerous environment.

K. Include information clearly informing pupils that having sex or sexual contact with an individual under the age of 16 is a crime punishable by imprisonment and that one of the other results of being convicted of this crime is to be listed on the sex offender registry on the internet for up to 25 years.

6.3 Explain when it is important to get adult, medical, and/or counseling help.

6.6 Analyze situations where assertive communication and refusal skills can be used to avoid and escape risky situations.

7.2 Compare characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships, and describe ways to express caring for a boyfriend or girlfriend while staying abstinent.

7.4 Demonstrate skills to avoid and escape risky situations.

7.6 Evaluate the impact of alcohol and other drug use on decisions regarding sexual behavior.

7.8 Demonstrate the ability to communicate one’s behavioral limits and to show respect for the limits of others related to physical intimacy and sexual behavior.

7.9 Demonstrate the ability to use verbal and non-verbal ways to refuse participation in sexual behavior.

EQUIPMENT 1. Power Point 2. Flash Drive 2023 MS

3. Computer (and cables) 4. USB Remote

PROPS 1. Cards for “Can I Control This?”

Challenge Letter 2.

5.1

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM

MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 5 | UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, LAWS, AND RESISTING PRESSURE INSTRUCTION ANTICIPATORY SET Review HANDBOOK 1. List three possible emotional outcomes of teen sex. (Regret, fear, memories, feeling used) 2. List three possible emotional outcomes of waiting to have sex. (Integrity, confidence, positive memories, respect) 3. Why wouldn’t a condom or pill protect you emotionally? (Condoms cannot protect our hearts/ emotions) Preview 1. How can you tell if a relationship is abusive?

2. Who could you talk to about an abusive situation?

3. What is the age of consent for sex in Michigan?

4. What age determines if a picture or video is “child sexually abusive material”?

Unhealthy and Abusive Relationships ACTIVITY: RELATIONSHIP QUIZ 1. A

2. A

3. B

HANDBOOK (10)

4. C

w All abusive relationships are unhealthy, but not all unhealthy relationships are abusive.

Common signs a relationship is unhealthy are that the relationship is stressful or confusing.

Common signs a relationship is abusive are that the unhealthy relationship is harmful or controlling.

Overview: We have talked about three main outcomes of having sex as a teen; pregnancy, STDs, and emotional outcomes. Today we are going to learn about laws that protect people from abuse. If anything we discuss today raises questions or concerns, please contact your school counselor.

DIRECT INSTRUCTION Laws to Protect People from Abusive Relationships HANDBOOK (11) Domestic Violence: Using “physical, sexual, and emotional abuse to control another person.”1 - Abuse of any kind is never the victim’s fault.

• Emotional/Verbal Abuse (Discuss additional examples in the Power Point.)

- Name calling and insults - Gaslighting: Denying the abuse so victims doubt themselves • Physical Assault - “Cycle” of Violence: Tension > Abuse > “Honeymoon phase” • Sexual Assault (Criminal Sexual Conduct) - Basic Definition: Any sexual contact that is not agreed to.2 That is any unwanted touching of private body parts.

• Consent (Refer to additional details at the end of this lesson as needed) - The age of consent in Michigan is 16 years old. There are no exceptions to the age of consent in Michigan. If the abuser is in a role of authority over the victim, the age of consent is 18.2 - Alcohol, substance abuse, and sexual assault HANDBOOK (11) Drunk means “no.” If someone is drunk or high on drugs, they are not able to consent to sexual activity.

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2023 MS

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM -

A person cannot consent to sex if they are not mentally able to understand what is happening.

- Mental incapacity, such that, “a person is rendered temporarily incapable of appraising or controlling his or her conduct due to the influence of a narcotic, anesthetic, or other substance administered to that person without his or her consent, or due to any other act committed upon that person without his or her consent.” (MCL 750.520a) - Physically helpless, such that, “a person is unconscious, asleep, or for any other reason is physically unable to communicate unwillingness to an act.” (MCL 750.520a)

ACTIVITY: CASE OF JASON AND AMBER Read the account of Jason and Amber. Highlight how Jason’s testimony alone shows he committed sexual assault. Sexual assault is never the victim’s fault. “Date rape,” is sexual assault committed by someone the victim knows and may have chosen to spend time with, including a dating partner or spouse. w Consent may seem complicated at first, but sex without consent is always a crime.

What to do if an assault happens: Get to a safe place, save anything with DNA, and seek medical attention where forensic medical exams are available, such as the emergency department at a hospital.

Laws Continued HANDBOOK (11) • Pornography: Has potential to harm yourself (neurology), harm relationships (expectations, trust), and harm society (trafficking, STDs, violence).3 Visit fightthenewdrug.org • Sexting (requesting, sending, or receiving sexually explicit messages, photos, or videos) can have serious legal consequences if it involves (depicts, targets, or requests images of) those under the age of 18.4 (Child Sexually Abusive Materials) • Trafficking: “A form of modern-day slavery in which people profit from the control and exploitation of others.”5 In other words, no one should ever be asked or told to do something sexual with another person.

Legal Consequences The specific consequences will depend on the circumstances of the case (age of victim, perpetrator, other factors), but could include any or all of the following: prison (up to life), fines, expulsion, sex offender registry.

No one wants the outcomes of their actions to be in the hands of a judge or jury.

People who can support those in unhealthy or abusive relationships • Enlist the help of your parents • Identify other trusted adults. Write down the number of your school counselor in your HANDBOOK • Who are your friends? Why? Choose friends who will encourage you to reach your goals • Check out the resources on the back of your HANDBOOK. Sip only from closed containers

Places with less risk of harmful behaviors Avoid alcohol • Explain how to stay “S.A.F.E.” Friends leave together • Where are you going?

Establish a safety code • Who is going to be there?

• Do your parents know the plan? Will you be able to communicate with trusted adults?

GUIDED PRACTICE Assertive Communication (Michigan guidelines include discussing avoiding and escaping risky situations [GLCE 6.6, 7.4] and how to communicate behavioral limits [7.8, 7.9]) ACTIVITY: CAN I CONTROL THIS? Pass out laminated cards to students in the class, each with an example like “What I say,” or “What they say.” Each student who receives a label is invited to place the label on the magnetic board under “Yes” or “No” depending on the answer to the question, “Can I control this?” Address any misplaced 2023 MS

5.3

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM labels, and observe, notice how every time we said, “Yes, I can control that,” it had to do with our own choices, but whenever we said, “No, I can’t control that,” it had to do with the other person’s choices.

For example, Jason in our earlier discussion had no right to make decisions for Amber.

Remember in our last lesson we learned, “While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions.” Today we’ve learned that: w While we are free to control our actions, we are not free or able to control anyone else’s actions.

You can control your actions; you cannot control and should not try to control anyone else. You are not responsible for someone else’s choices. You could be responsible to respond to another person’s actions. For example, if you saw someone being bullied, you should tell a trusted adult right away.

The Communication Sandwich (Optional) One thing we can control is what we say. We can also control when and how we say it. This is an important skill when responding to unhealthy peer pressure, especially when they don’t like what you have to say.

1. Say something positive about the person. “You mean so much to me.”

2. Tell them the “negative” comment they need to hear. “I don’t think we should be alone so much.”

3. Offer another positive alternative. “Why don’t we go to that new ice cream place I heard about.” w One helpful way to control what we say is to have a plan for how to communicate what we want or do not want clearly and assertively.

IMMEDIATE ASSESSMENT • Invite the class to restate the “Communication Sandwich.”

• Ask the class to restate the three situations when consent to sexual activity is not possible (under the age or 16, under the influence of drugs and alcohol, and mental incapacity).

CLOSURE REVIEW QUESTIONS 1. How can you tell a relationship is abusive? (Harm and/or control) 2. Who could you talk to about an abusive situation? (Parents, trusted adult, school counselor) 3. What is the age of consent (for sex) in Michigan? (16) 4. What age determines if a picture or video is “child sexually abusive material”? (18) INDEPENDENT PRACTICE This week write a brief “Willing to Wait Challenge Letter” about the benefits of waiting to have sex.

Details are provided in a separate handout. (Consult with the classroom teacher regarding credit.)

Simplified Summary of Michigan Laws Regarding Criminal Sexual Conduct (MCL 750.520a-e) For sexual activity to be legal in Michigan, each person must consent freely to all activities, without force or coercion. Michigan has four degrees of Criminal Sexual Conduct, depending on various factors. 1st and 3rd degree relate to sexual penetration, however slight. 2nd and 4th degree relate to any sexual contact involving, “the intentional touching of the victim’s or actor’s intimate parts or the intentional touching of the clothing covering the immediate area of the victim’s or actor’s intimate parts, if that intentional touching can reasonably be construed as being for the purpose of sexual arousal or gratification, done for a sexual purpose, or in a sexual manner.” (MCL 750.520a) In Michigan, consent is not legally possible in the following circumstances (this list is not exhaustive and greatly condensed): 1. Either person is under the age of 16. (More serious charges apply if the victim is under 13 years of age. If the accused is in a position of authority, consent is not possible for those under the age of 18.)

2. The victim is mentally incapable or mentally incapacitated (due to the influence of a narcotic, anesthetic, or other substance administered to that person without his or her consent).

3. The victim is physically helpless (unconscious, asleep, or for any other reason is physically unable to communicate). *This is supplemental information for educational purposes only and is not legal advice.* 5.4

2023 MS

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 6 DATING AND SETTING BOUNDARIES PREPARATION OBJECTIVES: Students will...

1. Distinguish between affection and arousal and identify their proper role in various relationships.

2. Establish personal boundaries for physical intimacy and dating.

3. Communicate personal boundaries and respect the boundaries of others.

4. Describe how a sexually active student can choose to practice abstinence until marriage.

STANDARDS: A, B, F, G, H, I (Per MI State Law); 7.1, 7.2, 7.3, 7.7, 7.8, 7.9 (Per GLCEs) A. Discuss the benefits of abstaining from sex until marriage and the benefits of ceasing sex if a pupil is sexually active.

B. Include a discussion of the possible emotional, economic, and legal consequences of sex.

F. Teach pupils how to say “no” to sexual advances and that it is wrong to take advantage of, harass, or exploit another person sexually.

G. Teach refusal skills and encourage pupils to resist pressure to engage in risky behavior.

H. Teach that the pupil has the power to control personal behavior. Pupils shall be taught to base their actions on reasoning, self-discipline, a sense of responsibility, self-control, and ethical considerations such as respect for self and others.

I. Provide instruction on healthy dating relationships and on how to set limits and recognize a dangerous environment.

7.1 Summarize the benefits of staying within behavioral limits and remaining abstinent.

7.2 Compare characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships, and describe ways to express caring for a boyfriend or girlfriend while staying abstinent.

7.3 Set personal boundaries and limits related to physical intimacy and sexual behavior.

7.7 Create a plan to stay within behavioral limits which protect one from HIV and STIs. 7.8 Demonstrate the ability to communicate one’s behavioral limits and to show respect for the limits of others related to physical intimacy and sexual behavior.

7.9 Demonstrate the ability to use verbal and non-verbal ways to refuse participation in sexual behavior.

EQUIPMENT 1. Power Point 2. Flash Drive 3. Computer (and cables) 4. USB Remote

2023 MS

PROPS Challenge Letter 1.

2. Puzzle Piece Tape for “Race” if 3.

Space Permits 4. Maintaining Future Clarity OxyClean • • Iodine

• Bottle of Water • Two Clear Glasses 5. Forgotten Treasure Pictures 6. Pressure Line Cards ATM Cards 7.

6.1

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM

MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 6 DATING AND SETTING BOUNDARIES INSTRUCTION

ANTICIPATORY SET Review HANDBOOK 1. How can you tell a relationship is abusive? (Harm and/or control) 2. Who could you talk to about an abusive situation? (Parents, trusted adult, school counselor) 3. What is the age of consent for sex in Michigan? (16) 4. What age determines if a picture or video is “child sexually abusive material”? (18) • • •

ACTIVITY: PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER (OPTIONAL) When starting a new puzzle, what do you work on first? The edges; the boundaries. Healthy dating relationships depend on clearly established boundaries.

When working on a puzzle, how do you determine where a piece fits? Look at the picture you’re trying to build. Likewise, when you begin dating, you need to have your goals in mind.

One piece isn’t the whole puzzle. And sometimes a piece won’t fit. It isn’t healthy to make one person your “whole life” while you are dating, and some relationships ultimately won’t be a fit.

w Dating is a time to discover yourself and prepare for a life-long relationship with healthy boundaries.

Preview 1. Where does W2W recommend to draw your line in a physical relationship and why?

2. Give an example of a physical display of affection. How is that different from actions that can lead to arousal?

3. What could someone say to communicate they didn’t want to have sex?

4. How can someone who has been sexually active in the past decide to avoid sexual risk in the future?

Overview: Today we’re going to discuss the purpose of dating, how to set and communicate healthy boundaries, and how to stay on or get back on a path to success.

DIRECT INSTRUCTION The Purpose of (Formal) Dating • What does it mean when two people are “dating”? (Write the class’s answers on the board.)

• Why do people date? (To learn how the pieces of their lives fit together.)

• How does a person know if the person they are dating is who they want to spend their life with?

(The big picture of the puzzle, or a person’s life, guides what to look for.)

The Process of (Formal) Dating ACTIVITY: DATE IDEAS 1. What are some activities young people could do on dates to learn about themselves and their date? Give students time to brainstorm in groups.

2. What is their favorite idea from their HANDBOOK (12)?

3. Could these ideas work when people are just “hanging out” or “talking,” even if they are not calling it “dating” yet?

4. How does a person know when they are ready to start dating?

5. What are some benefits to hanging out in groups and waiting longer to dating?

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2023 MS

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM w Dating while waiting to have sex is easier when you have creative ways to get to know each other in a variety of situations without spending a lot of time alone in private places.

DISCUSSION: HOW FAR IS TOO FAR? HANDBOOK (13) Have students list the steps in a (physical) relationship, following the list below.

The first four steps express affection. Affection can be an appropriate way of showing someone you care about them. (For example: Family members, friends, even a person you date.)

The last four steps involve arousal. Arousal is the way the body prepares for sexual activities. This is not appropriate with everyone you care about.

1. Talking 2. Holding hands 3. Hugging 4. Casual kissing

5. Passionate kissing 6. Intimate touching over clothes 7. Intimate touching under clothes 8. Sexual activity

Have students fill in “affection” and “arousal” in their HANDBOOK (13). Students who wish to completely avoid the risks of sex give themselves the best opportunity to accomplish this when they set their physical boundaries or “line” before any activities that could involve arousal.

Ask students which activities involve the following risks: • Pregnancy (sex) • STDs (sex, intimate touch with clothes off, some minimal risk with passionate kissing) • Legal consequences (sex, intimate touch with clothes off or on, note that the age of consent is 16 in Michigan) **Remind students that no matter where they draw their own line, it is never okay to cross the boundaries established by the other person.** • Emotional involvement (depends on the person, each step involves new emotions) • Pressure to go further (any of the arousal activities) Establishing clear boundaries before any potentially arousing activities helps teens focus on their goals and building healthy relationships. w Teens who don’t set clear boundaries are likely to go further than they planned in a physical relationship.

Two-question test to identify arousal: (Example: Walking with hands in partner’s pocket) 1. Is what we are doing OK in public? (Maybe…)

2. Is what we are doing OK to show affection in other relationships? (NO!) ACTIVITY: RACE (OPTIONAL, Space Permitting) Have two students line up at one side of room and race to the other side. Have them race again, abruptly instructing them to stop only once they are inches from finish line. Have them race again, abruptly instructing them to stop before they are half way to the finish line.

When was it easier to stop? Answering for yourself only (don’t share with me or the class), where will you draw your line to help reduce the “momentum” in a relationship? w Sticking to your boundary is easier when it doesn’t involve arousal.

Sticking to Your Goal HANDBOOK (14) If someone has gone further than they planned in their relationship or has had sex, is it still possible to decide to be abstinent in the future? By comparison, if someone ever ate meat in their life, could they still decide to be a vegetarian? Of course! These five steps can help a sexually active teen stop having sex and help those who have never had sex continue to make healthy choices in the future.

1. Commitment 2. Communication 3. Changes 4. Control 5. Caution 2023 MS

6.3

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM ACTIVITY: MAINTAINING FUTURE CLARITY Pour two glasses of water. Add small amount of iodine (representing unhealthy choices) to each glass, illustrating how unhealthy choices can also complicate life and blur our future. Add OxyClean (representing a renewed commitment to health) to glass, illustrating an active decision to change one’s future course. Explain that making the commitment to focus on your goals gives your future new clarity. The first glass (now clear) can be poured into the second glass of water and iodine, demonstrating how a person who has set their mind on their goals can have a positive influence on others who are struggling. Being “Willing to Wait” is about the future, not the past. w Your past choices cannot make your future decision for you. It’s never too late to wait.

STORY: FORGOTTEN TREASURE (OPTIONAL) “Kyle” doesn’t realize the value of a walking cane he inherited. If he did, he would treat it very differently. w Our decisions about sex will depend on whether or not we realize the value of our sexual health (and the health of others).

GUIDED PRACTICE (Michigan guidelines include discussing avoiding and escaping risky situations [GLCE 6.6, 7.4] and how to communicate behavioral limits [7.8, 7.9]) ACTIVITY: PRESSURE LINES Healthy relationships involve both people clearly communicating their boundaries and respecting the boundaries of the other person. We are going to practice some phrases that can be used in response to someone pressuring you to go further than your boundaries.

• Explain “pressure lines” as phrases someone could use to pressure a person to do something.

• Have a student read each pressure line. Give the class an opportunity to provide their own response before they read prepared response. w To successfully make healthy choices in high-pressure situations, you need to practice now.

ATM Cards • Willing to Wait challenges you to consider the benefits of waiting until marriage to have sex.

• We believe it is the best choice for your health, your future, and your relationships.

• Being willing to wait is all about your future, not your past.

• If that is a decision you want to make, please take an ATM card on your way out and consider signing and saving it. Write where you are going to draw your line physically. Keep it in a place you will see regularly. You can always contact us with any questions. Feel free to throw it away on your honeymoon.

CLOSURE REVIEW QUESTIONS 1. Where does W2W recommend to draw your line in a physical relationship and why? (Stick to showing affection and avoiding any arousal activities.)

2. Give an example of a physical display of affection. How is that different from actions that can lead to arousal?

3. What could someone say to communicate they didn’t want to have sex?

4. How can someone who has been sexually active in the past decide to avoid sexual risk in the future?

INDEPENDENT PRACTICE • Invite students to discuss the “What would you do?” page in the PARENT HANDBOOK (13) before your next visit.

6.4

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SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM

MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 7 HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND MARRIAGE PREPARATION OBJECTIVES: Students will...

1. Identify desired qualities in a dating and/or marriage partner.

2. Summarize characteristics of healthy relationships.

3. Outline the benefits of marriage.

4. Demonstrate conflict resolution strategies for healthy relationships.

STANDARDS: A, E, H, I, (Per MI State Law); 7.1, 7.2 (Per GLCEs) A.

Discuss the benefits of abstaining from sex until marriage and the benefits of ceasing sex if a pupil is sexually active.

E.

Ensure that pupils are not taught in a way that condones the violation of the laws of this state pertaining to sexual activity, including, but not limited to, those relating to indecent exposure, gross indecency, and criminal sexual conduct in the first, second, third, and fourth degrees.

H.

Teach that the pupil has the power to control personal behavior. Pupils shall be taught to base their actions on reasoning, self-discipline, a sense of responsibility, self-control, and ethical considerations such as respect for self and others.

I.

Provide instruction on healthy dating relationships and on how to set limits and recognize a dangerous environment.

7.1

Summarize the benefits of staying within behavioral limits and remaining abstinent.

7.2

Compare characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships, and describe ways to express caring for a boyfriend or girlfriend while staying abstinent.

EQUIPMENT 1. Power Point 2. Flash Drive 3. Computer (and cables) 4. USB Remote 5.

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Survey Link(s) and Paper Copies

6.

Program Evaluation • Give to classroom teacher

PROPS 1. Relationship Kit (Six Building Blocks)

2. Energy Stick (optional) 3.

ATM Cards (if not used in Lesson 6) 4.

Shoelaces (or other program memento, optional)

7.1

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM MIDDLE SCHOOL LESSON 7 HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND MARRIAGE

INSTRUCTION ANTICIPATORY SET Review HANDBOOK 1. Where does W2W recommend to draw your line in a physical relationship and why? (Before arousal) 2. Give an example of a physical display of affection. How is that different from actions that can lead to arousal? (E.g. holding hands, affection shows you care) 3. What could someone say to communicate they didn’t want to have sex? (Stop, no, I’m not interested) 4. How can someone who has been sexually active in the past decide to avoid sexual risk in the future? (Commit, communicate, changes, control, caution) • • • • • •

ACTIVITY: WHAT’S MY TYPE HANDBOOK (15) What are the most important qualities for someone you want to date?

What about someone you would want to marry?

Which qualities are more likely to last a lifetime?

How do you know a person’s qualities?

What missing qualities can you overlook in a relationship?

How are you developing the qualities in yourself that you would look for in a person to date?

w When it comes to dating and marriage, “you don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.”

(Axiom popularized by Dr. Wayne Dyer) Preview 1. What is one way people could benefit from marriage?

2. What are six building blocks of healthy relationships?

3. What is the first step for staying CALM when there is conflict in a healthy relationship?

Overview: Today we will review the benefits of marriage, how to build healthy relationships, and how to resolve conflicts by staying C.A.L.M. DIRECT INSTRUCTION The Benefits of Marriage DISCUSSION HANDBOOK (16) When the person we care about the most is the same person who cares about us more than anyone else in the world, it’s a wonderful thing. This is a real possibility in marriage.

Not everyone chooses to get married, and that’s okay. We can all recognize the potential benefits of marriage for couples, their children, and their community. w Everyone can be a fan of marriage.

• Married people have the safest sex and have sex more often.1 • Married people are richer.2 • Married people live longer and are healthier.3 • Married people create new families with legal rights and benefits.4 • Marriage is the safest place for women and children.5 Marriage is the relationship where two people promise to love each other no matter what, and to work through their conflicts no matter what. Marriage is the promise that you are “all in” for this relationship 7.2

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SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM and you won’t give up when conflict arises and passion flickers. Marriage provides benefits to individuals, families, and society.

ACTIVITY: BUILDING BLOCKS OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS HANDBOOK (16) Marriage is still a few years off, but that doesn’t mean you can’t begin building healthy relationships right now. As we discuss each building block, write them in your HANDBOOK (16). w Every successful relationship has certain characteristics, depending on how close the relationship is.

Invite two volunteers to help hold the building blocks as you explain their importance for healthy relationships.

The closer the relationship, the more “levels” necessary to keep the relationship healthy. You will have more friends at the first level, but will have very few “Level 3” relationships.

• Level 1: Any relationship - Communication - Respect - Honesty and Trust • Level 2: Closer friends (relationships that involve some commitment or intention) - Similar Values - Compromise • Level 3: Closest relationships - Unselfish Love Sexual attraction cannot be the foundation of a healthy relationship; however, in a marriage built on the foundation of these building blocks, sex can play an important role.

In the meantime, you can work on these building blocks and love languages (below) in any relationship; with friends, parents, siblings, teachers, “significant others,” whether or not you plan to get married.

5 Love LanguagesTM 6 HANDBOOK (17) Sometimes the “building block” that needs the most work is “Unselfish Love”. And that’s not necessarily because they don’t love each other; they may not know how to show love effectively. In our closest relationships, it is essential to learn how each person experiences and expresses love.

However, all of our relationships can benefit from better understanding how to show that you care about each other.

1. Words: Some people feel most loved when they actually hear the words, “I love you.” Simply saying, “Thank you,” or “Great job!” can mean a lot.

2. Time: Some people feel most loved when someone spends time with them. Often these people just want someone to take the time to listen to them.

3. Gifts: A simple gift that took care and thought is the best way to show certain people how much they are loved. For them, it really is the thought that counts.

4. Service: Helping a loved one with a task or project that is important to them or stressful for them can show how much they are loved. (Remember, weekly chores don’t count.)

5. Physical Touch: For some people, a big hug or pat on the back tells them that they are important.

Physical contact says, “I like to be around you.”

Everybody experiences and expresses love in different ways. Sometimes the person we love doesn’t recognize how we express our love. Sometimes we don’t recognize their expression of love for us. w Healthy relationships depend on a growing appreciation for each other’s “love language.”

Students can learn more about their love language by taking the quiz at https://www.5lovelanguages. com/quizzes/teen-quiz/ 2023 MS

7.3

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS CURRICULUM Resolving Conflict by Staying “C.A.L.M.” In any relationship, there will be times when one of the blocks is damaged. Restoring the relationship takes effort. The important thing is to stay C.A.L.M. Instruct students to write the phrases in their HANDBOOK (17). You can use one of the examples from “Thinking it Through” (below) or an appropriate personal experience to illustrate each skill.

• Control yourself. You can’t control another person’s actions or emotions. But you can control your decisions.

• Assume the best. Apologize first. Many conflicts are just the result of a misunderstanding. You can save yourself and others a lot of pain by assuming that what they said or did was not intended to hurt you. While you aren’t responsible for someone misinterpreting your well-meaning words and actions, if you have done or said something hurtful, selfish, or disrespectful, the words “I was wrong,” can make all the difference in the world.

• Label the issue. Most conflicts can be linked to a damaged “Building Block” (listed above). Identify which “block” you feel has been damaged and work to repair that. It may just be a problem of communication. Perhaps you feel disrespected. Were you dishonest with someone? Be as specific as possible.

• Matter-of-fact. Describe what you think happened in a factual manner. Avoid assigning blame or assuming to know the other person’s motivation. When we face conflict with someone, we can separate the act (e.g. He left the party without saying “bye” to me) from the feeling (e.g. feeling rejected or ignored). This gives them an opportunity to clarify the situation (e.g. They couldn’t find you and their parents insisted they leave immediately). Remember, you can describe how you felt in a situation without claiming someone made you feel that way.

ACTIVITY: ELECTRIC COMMUNICATION Select two volunteers who hold hands, with one student holding the Energy Stick in one hand.

Have the other student grab the Energy Stick as well. Explain that the Energy Stick represents the communication necessary to keep them “connected.” The entire class can stand in a circle to illustrate that it only takes one person to cut off a group’s communication. w Communication is essential to the energy of a relationship and requires active participation.

GUIDED PRACTICE ACTIVITY: THINKING IT THROUGH Read scripted scenarios. Ask the class to identify a building block or C.A.L.M. skill that could help resolve the potential conflict. w Relationships take work. Often conflicts and tension can be resolved or smoothed out using a few specific skills.

INDEPENDENT PRACTICE This program has given you a lot to think about. We have discussed many benefits of waiting to have sex until marriage. You’ve learned that it is never too late to wait and all of us can start making healthier decisions today! Please keep your handbook, ATM card, and shoelace as reminders of what you have learned. You can always contact us with any questions.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your class!

“Valued Always” T-Shirts | If you have the opportunity to give students a W2W “Valued Surveys Always” t-shirt, consider giving them the 1. Distribute post-program surveys or links to class. following script for when they are asked about it.

2. Read legal script.

“Valued Always” means every person has worth and value and their experiences, choices, or 3. Remind students to select “Post-Survey”. circumstances will not change that.

“W2W” stands for “Willing to Wait,” because of all the benefits for those who are willing to wait until marriage to have sex.

7.4

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